I Have You Now
Victory Storm
When Kendra decided to deceive Alexei, she knew she was taking a big risk because the man was too ruthless to forgive and too powerful not to make him pay dearly for the first mistake. One misstep would be enough and she would lose any chance of getting what she wanted. Months have passed since that meeting and suddenly everything collapses due to a betrayal that endangers Kendra's life and brings out all her lies and falsehoods. The showdown has come and Alexei is ready to destroy it. But just when he gets it back into her hands, he will discover that the woman no longer remembers her from her past. A past that hides secrets that he needs to know. He will thus find himself having to choose whether to take revenge or keep that dangerous woman at her side, tightened in her coils, until he regains her memory.
Victory Storm
I Have You Now
Victory Storm
©2021 Victory Storm
Email: victorystorm83@gmail.com
Sito web: www.victorystorm.com
Publisher: Tektime
Translator (ita --> eng): Nevia Ferrara
Cover: Project by Victory Storm - https://stock.adobe.com
All rights reserved. No part of this book shall be reproduced or circulated in any forms, photocopies, microfilm or anything else, without the author’s permission.
This is a work of fiction. Characters and places are the products of the author’s imagination and they are used to give truthfulness to the narration. Any resemblance to real events, places and people, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
CHAPTER 1
KENDRA
"Danielle, come here", Aleksej ordered me in his usual hasty, overbearing manner, which made me so nervous.
How much I wanted to say no, that I wouldn't do what he wanted, but I knew that if you wanted to stay in his entourage, those words were forbidden.
I showed off my best smile and I approached languidly. I measured each step with studied slowness, continuing to challenge him staring at him straight in the eyes, even knowing how much that gesture would break his already limited patience.
Instead of standing in front of him, as he wished, I relaxed leaning against his massive mahogany desk and letting my hands wander over the documents stacked behind me.
I knew I was annoying him with my arrogance and I liked it. I enjoyed those little moments of arrogance, even though I was aware of the risks I was running. However, I didn't care and I was sure it was easier to win his trust thanks to those rebellious gestures than with more condescending ones.
"Sit on my legs", he was angry.
I obeyed, holding back a snort.
In a moment his hands landed on my body and his lips pressed on my neck.
I hated his mouth, especially after discovering the pleasure he could give me, so much so that I started to feel fear.
Fear of experiencing wrong sensations that confused and bewitched me.
I wanted to escape but I couldn't.
When I had decided to approach that man, I knew that I would have to lower myself to his level and commit recklessness.
I had taken the risk.
I would have done anything to get to him and what revolved around him, such as those diamonds that were scattered in the blue velvet box, open on his desk.
"Do you like diamonds?", he asked me at a certain point, breaking away from me.
"Why are you asking me?", I worried about that insinuation, while I felt his hands go up inside my skirt up to the elastic of the thong.
"I've noticed how you've been staring at them since you walked into my studio. You seem very interested", he continued undaunted, despite my grip around his wrist as I tried to pull him away from me.
"In fact it's so. Every woman wants to cover herself with jewels", I replied feigning indifference, though I couldn't hold back a gasp when I felt the lace fabric of my underwear tear and scratch my skin.
It was always so with Aleksej. Apparently he seemed focused on what he was saying, enough to warn you, but then you found that he was already over and when you realized it was late.
"You too?" he whispered in my ear, kissing my neck and starting to slip his fingers between my tight thighs.
I was so uncomfortable and unable to reason that I no longer understood if we were still talking about diamonds or whatever.
"Of course" I managed to reply before being caught by his mouth as he pressed against mine with violence and possessiveness.
"So why have I never seen you wearing a jewel?", Aleksej went on, always leaving me shocked by his coldness with which he never relaxed completely. I hated him for it.
"What can I say? No man has ever bothered to give me one", I muttered sourly, putting my hand close to the dark blue velvet box, but before I could get to the diamonds, Alexey grasped my wrist and brought me back to him.
"Those aren't for you", he warned me sternly, striking me with his icy gaze.
"So who are they for?", I asked suddenly curious.
"None of your business", he cut out, grabbing me by the hips and bending me over the desk.
"Are you also fucking someone else?" I blurted out, trying to free myself. I wasn't going to let anyone get in my way or stop me from getting where I wanted!
"Are you jealous?", he burst out laughing.
"I'm not a woman who likes to share. You should know that."
"We only fucked once and are you already demanding exclusivity?"
I avoided replying to him how much it cost me to have given myself to him voluntarily and how long the marks of the ropes he had tied me with remained on my wrists.
I had found it harder to hide the fear of being at his mercy than the lack of arousal.
The only thing that had given me the strength not to blow everything up were those diamonds and the source from which they came and which I wanted to access too.
"I've been working for you for eight months", I reminded him.
"So what?"
"Finally I let myself go thinking that I am important to you and instead I discover that you have someone else", I infuriated, feigning indignation.
"What do you want, Danielle?" Aleksej asked me instead, not believing my outburst of jealousy. In fact, my ice mask had always made me detached and numb to anything and now I was not believable with that soap opera drama.
"I want you", I whispered, pinning him with my gaze and placing my mouth on him impetuously. It was a kiss of anger. Just what I was feeling at that moment ... Anger at having to sleep with him and having to lie every day, when inside of me I just wanted to access his unlimited funds, take possession of his contacts and disappear into thin air.
"Then kneel down and take it in your mouth", he challenged me, as his hands continued to touch me.
"I'm not your whore!" I growled nervous for not being able to get even half the information out of him and for his way of touching me and turning me on against my will.
"What is it, Danielle? Are you no longer available because this time you don't have to distract me from getting caught putting your nose where you shouldn't?" he hissed in my ear, grabbing my hair to pull my face up to bring it closer to him.
I bit my lower lip with anxiety and nervousness.
Yes, he had discovered me just as I was one step away from understanding who his contact was. I remembered that episode three days earlier very well, in that same studio.
I realized I was one step away from blowing my cover, I had read Aleksej's distrust in his eyes and I realized that I had made an unforgivable mistake.
My only solution for not being thrown out and losing everything I had done to get there was to kiss him and get him what he craved from the first time we met.
I got fucked right up against that bookshelf ten feet away.
He even wanted to tie me up at one point and hang on a hook that protruded from the bookshelf.
I knew that he had done it to test me and I had let him.
I had managed not to move a muscle despite the terror that I had felt running in my blood like a lethal poison.
I had let myself be taken on his terms and without replying for his rough and wild ways.
And now I felt that he would do the same thing to me.
I wanted to deny myself. I knew that he would accept it because after all he was a gentleman, but his insinuation weighed on me like a sword of Damocles and so I let him do.
"Aleksej, you disappoint me. You can't distinguish a woman who wants to fuck you from one who wants to screw you", I teased him knowing I had just signed my sentence.
"You need a good lesson", he whispered to me hoarsely, making me lean forward against the desk.
He held me still with one hand still in my hair, while with the other he lifted my skirt, lowered his pants and finally tore off my underwear for good.
He made me spread my legs and, before being able to pull me up, I felt him penetrate me with a single and powerful thrust, filling me more than I could imagine.
I screamed in dismay.
I tried to rebel, but the more I resisted, the more his member penetrated me furiously and deeply.
"I love the way you are always so wet, ready to welcome me", he murmured gravely, increasing the speed with which he thrust inside me.
I hated his words because I knew they were true. No one had ever fucked me like that, and while I despised him and made me feel submissive and inferior to him, deep down I liked and turned me on more than I was willing to admit.
Suddenly I felt his hands stretch on my hips until they reached my breasts protruding from his neckline.
I couldn't see him, but I felt his fingers pinch my nipples and torture them until they were turgid and swollen, causing me a pleasant discomfort every time they rubbed on the wood of the table with each push.
"Aleksej", I whispered in the grip of ever more uncontrollable desire, while he returned to my hips and crept between my thighs up to my clitoris, to which he reserved the same treatment as my nipples.
It took a few seconds and my body contracted due to the orgasm that hit me with the violence of a tornado.
"Stop, please", I begged him feeling my whole body in the throes of contractions around his penis that kept making room inside me and his hands that did not stop provoking me.
"I decide when to stop", he warned me hard and adamant. "I want to make you cum again."
"I can't", I gasped in exhaustion, as my body was once again letting itself be seduced by Aleksej's touch.
At one point I felt him cum inside me.
I sighed with relief, thinking that the torture was over and instead I found myself still bent forward, with one hand of Aleksej on my breast and the other still on my clitoris.
Aroused by his orgasm still throbbing inside me and his fingers sliding between my thighs, I finally felt a new orgasm rock me deeply.
"Good my babushka ", he smiled, freeing me from his body.
I dressed quickly, trying to erase from memory what we had just done.
The thong was unrecoverable, so I threw it away.
Meanwhile Aleksej opened a desk drawer and took out a small box.
He handed it to me.
"What is it?" I asked, grabbing the package and sitting on his legs.
"Open it."
I obeyed and inside I found a ring in white gold and diamonds. The brilliant cut center stone was framed between two pear cut diamonds. It was a spectacular ring. The most beautiful I've ever seen in my life.
"What does it mean?"
"You decide."
"I'm not a whore", I cleared, putting the ring on my right ring finger greedily.
"I didn't say this is the payment for your performance."
"No, but you thought so."
"I think what I want and you can do the same in this case."
"Then I'll take this ring as a proposal", I challenged him, determined to make his life hell, like the one I had spent in those months by his side.
"A proposal?! About what?" Alexey suddenly frowned.
"Of marriage", I exclaimed, unable to believe my own words. How had I come to think of such a thing? Was I going crazy or was the closeness of that man making me want things I had never wanted in my entire life?
"What?!"
"Yes, I do, Aleksej. I'll marry you", I continued, fully savoring the disappointment that appeared on his face, before bursting out laughing.
In response, he chased me away. "Get out. I'm busy."
"Me too. I have a wedding to prepare", I chuckled.
Aleksej grumbled something in Russian that I could hardly interpret. He had just said that he would only marry me when he was dead.
"Aleksej, honey, you know I don't understand Russian. Speak my language, please."
"I told you to leave. I am waiting for a person and I want to be alone with him. We need to discuss business."
His serious tone and his determined gaze immediately made me realize that the guest he was waiting for was very important.
I really needed to know who he was, so I decided to stall and I tried to kiss him to buy time, but he pushed me away again.
"Don't make me use bad manners, Danielle."
"Okay, you've won", I sighed in surrender. When I got to the door, all I heard was Aleksej answer the phone and tell the guards to let the guest in. He spoke in Russian, but I understood every word perfectly and I knew that if I wanted to catch that person, I would have to find an excuse to go downstairs through the hallway and main staircase.
Slowly I made my way to the door and went out.
Instead of returning to the room I had been assigned, I continued down the central corridor which opened onto an imposing staircase that forked symmetrically in two opposite directions, both towards the ground floor lounge.
With great satisfaction, I saw Aleksej's guest come up.
He wore sunglasses that obscured his face, but there was something familiar about him.
I stalled further, waiting for him at the top of the stairs to pass him by.
He sent me a quick glance that did not escape me, but went on pretending nothing happened.
I wanted to approach him and talk to him, but I knew that my attitude would be too suspicious and I couldn't play that occasion with the very man with whom Aleksej smuggled diamonds or exchanged them for something else.
I've been waiting for that moment for eight months.
I even went as far as going to bed with that Russian only to enter his private home, where I knew his most interesting and profitable encounters were taking place.
And now my chance had come!
The man passed me and I feigned indifference, but just as I was about to go down the stairs, I inhaled his aftershave.
It was a very peculiar and expensive perfume.
I only knew one man who used it.
A man with whom I had been in a relationship that lasted almost a year, but made up only of sporadic and quick sexual encounters and short chats, almost always centered on work or our dreams of glory.
It had been almost a year since I last saw him, but now, in a moment, my mind outlined the profile of my ex.
Blond hair, blue eyes, square jaw, hook nose, average height and weight ...
"Ryan!" I stifled a gasp.
Suddenly I turned around in shock.
He too had turned to me and took off his glasses.
He had longer hair and an unkempt beard, but it was him.
How was it possible?
I thought back to that year together and the problems I had had ...
I remembered all the times I'd confided to him my suspicions that someone close to me was cheating on me.
"How could you do this to me?" I understood instantly. He was the person who had hindered my projects from the very beginning.
Only then did I realize how much he had used me and how he had tried to compromise my plans.
Instinctively I looked for my Beretta hidden in the pocket of my skirt, but too late I realized I had left it in my room when Alexey had called me.
Ryan did the same and suddenly I found the barrel of his gun pointed at me.
"Kendra, don't take this personally, but here only one of us can get out alive".
"It doesn't have to end like this" I tried to convince him, starting down the stairs slowly, without turning my back on Ryan.
By now it was clear that he would soon betray me with Aleksej and at that point there would be no way out for me. I had to get out of that villa and quickly!
Also, the anger at the humiliation I suffered only made me want to take my cell phone in my pocket and call my contacts immediately to warn them not to trust Ryan.
"What the hell is going on?" Aleksej's voice thundered, attracting Ryan's attention.
I had too much experience not to understand that I was burned, so I did the only thing I could still do. I picked up my cell phone and quickly wrote a message, explaining what had happened.
"Put that phone away!" Ryan yelled at me out of his mind, as soon as he noticed it, blocking me just before sending the message.
I saw Aleksej stopping Ryan with a wave of his hand and come towards me.
His gaze seemed like a thin sheet of black ice that would soon break, exploding into a thousand shards ready to hit anyone near him.
After eight months in close contact, I knew him enough to know that he wouldn't hesitate to make me pay every single second alongside him, exploited only for my own purposes.
Forgiveness was the only thing he would never have granted me.
I had no doubts about this.
He would have done anything to destroy me. But only after making me confess how far I had come to do the same with him in those months.
"Give me your cell phone" he hissed in a low voice a step away from me, holding out his hand.
I took a quick glance at the display, regretting the old cell phones that used keys, easy to recognize by touch, instead of sight.
I just had to hit the Enter key with my thumb.
I was about to press it when I saw Aleksej's swift hand reach me.
I barely had time to move my arm to avoid it, but at the same time a gunshot echoed throughout the villa.
I didn't even notice the bullet directed at me, until a sharp pain in my chest cut my breath and pushed me backwards, making me lose my balance.
The heels of my shoes lost their support and, before I could cling to Aleksej's arm, which was stretched towards me, I fell into the void.
I barely felt the touch of Aleksej's fingers before starting the descent towards my end.
The last thing I remembered was his name which I weakly pronounced as a desperate and absurd request for help and then ... the pain.
Only the pain had the power to make me feel still alive, despite the bullet lodged a few centimeters from the breastbone and the repeated blows on the steps of the staircase, on which I rolled violently to the bottom.
And finally, there was only darkness.
CHAPTER 2
ALEKSEJ
Almost forty-eight hours had passed since that delirium that was unleashed in my house.
Hours that I had spent getting angry with myself for not having noticed the deceptions of Danielle Stenton, indeed no, of Kendra Palmer.
How could I have been so stupid?
How could I have failed to notice her true nature?
Yet I had some suspicions!
Was it possible that the beauty of that woman had managed to dazzle me to the point of completely losing my mind, so much so that I became stupid and blind?
Just me who had always boasted of having a sixth sense for scammers and liars.
My God, I could not believe that I had had such a person next to me for eight very long months without noticing anything.
The truth was that I had been too busy wanting to take her to bed and to subdue her rebellious and arrogant temper!
I had been so blinded by her desire and her elusive but provocative way of being close to me that I lost my mind.
I knew that closeness could be dangerous, but it had always been so exciting that it made me hold onto her.
I kept telling myself that I was an idiot, because I had always understood that there was something underhanded about Kendra.
Already from our first meeting, in which she threw herself on the street, getting hit by my car, while the driver was slowly leaving the parking lot, I understood that that accident had been combined.
I got out of the car with the desire to make the person pay for that joke and with the threat ready in case she started talking about complaints or anything else.
But then I saw her.
Her. On the ground. Aching in her knee that she had banged against the nose of the car, and with a skinned arm with which she had protected her face falling on the asphalt.
Despite the situation, I was immediately fascinated by that breathtaking body, wrapped in a skimpy black dress that left nothing to the imagination.
My driver had helped her to get up, while she had insulted him for hitting her.
Then I too went over and asked her if she was okay.
In an instant I found myself a prisoner of her beautiful gray eyes and menacing like a cloudy sky with a storm coming.
With that delicate-featured face of her and that long brown hair that covered her entire bare back, she had made me want to touch her and make her mine.
For this reason, when I proposed to take her to the hospital and she immediately stiffened and frightened, telling me that she was fine despite having a hard time walking, I took the leap and invited her to the hotel where I was staying.
She had accepted, but what I had believed to be just the prelude to an unforgettable night of sex, soon turned out to be the exact opposite.
With difficulty I had managed to get her name, Danielle Stenton, and when I had tried to step forward, she had immediately blocked me, telling me that she had not consented to follow me to be taken to bed, but only to be medicated, put ice on the knee and maybe have a warm bed to spend the night alone.
I had never been able to extort from her the reason why such a beautiful and charming woman could need a place to sleep, but I immediately understood that that incident was just an excuse to get my money. In fact, I wasn't surprised the next day when she asked me for a loan.
Of course I refused and she surprised me by saying that she would then work for me.
Hers hadn't been a request and I, for the first time, hadn't been able to say no.
A weakness that I now risked paying dearly for, since in those months Kendra had discovered many things about me and brought her to my house, had been yet another folly, because right there I kept all my most important assets and business.
Only then did I realize that, by being precious, Kendra had managed to get what she really wanted: to enter the villa and take advantage of the freedoms I had granted her to betray me and use everything I had against me.
And all for a fuck!
What an idiot!
I was still thinking about my mistakes when Kendra finally opened her eyes.
After the doctors had warned me of her awakening, I immediately ran to the private clinic to confront her and make her pay for every lie and deception suffered.
I also carried the gun with me, because at that point, after the heated discussion with Ryan about the true identity of that woman, I no longer trusted her and I would not hesitate to take revenge.
Calmly I sat on the edge of her bed, next to her, and waited for her to fully awaken, as the drugs numbed her.
Despite the purplish hematoma on her right cheekbone and the unnatural pallor of her face, she always remained beautiful, but with a beauty that by now left me completely indifferent, if not disgusted.
I waited for her eyes to rest on me.
Her silver gaze seemed watered down by the painkillers, but she opened wide when she landed on me.
I smiled at her satisfied and approached her face slowly, savoring that sparkle of fear and surprise that I read in her eyes.
"So, little liar, are you ready to pay the consequences of your deception?" I whispered to her in a low voice.
I saw her parting her full and perfectly drawn lips, but not a sound came out.
"I'll take your silence for a yes" I decided, grabbing the pistol tucked into her pants.
"Who are you?" Kendra asked me weakly, just as I was holding the weapon.
I burst out laughing. A low, guttural, almost threatening laugh.
I wanted to grab her by the neck and throw her out of bed, I was so furious.
"Seriously? Is this how you want to play it? Are you really sure?" I challenged her, determined not to let me fool myself again.
"I ... I don't know ... I ..." she mumbled uncomfortably, starting to look around in fear.
"Be careful what you say, Kendra, because this time I won't give you a second chance. Am I making myself clear?" I stopped her, but my threat seemed to trigger an adverse reaction.
"Who is Kendra?" she gasped, starting to shake and fidget.
She looked terrified.
"Where am I?" she stammered trying to pull herself up and sit up, but causing further pain, which made her moan. "It hurts!" she blew softly, bringing the hand to her chest, right where she had been hit by the bullet. "What happened to me?", she murmured dazed and in pain, looking at her bandaged arm and touching the bruises on her face and legs that she discovered from her blankets.
It was a moment and suddenly all that apparent calm vanished to make way for Kendra's fear that she was wriggling like a trapped animal.
Trembling and shaken, she removed the drip and tried to get up.
"There's no use running away " I slapped her, grabbing her arms as she tried to pull herself up.
Being able to stop her was more complicated than I had thought, as she was wriggling frantically and uncoordinated from her pain.
However as soon as she tried to get up, lifting herself up on her legs, I felt her give way.
She was pale as a sheet and I had to grab her around the waist to keep her from falling badly to the floor.
Kendra slumped against me.
"My head is spinning" she whispered to me, putting her arms around my neck.
I picked her up and she hugged me even more, as if she was afraid of falling into the void.
I put her back on the bed and slowly her hands came off my neck, sliding over my shoulders and down my arms.
If she hadn't been so upset and trembling, I would have thought she was provoking me to seduce me.
Her light and delicate touch had something intimate and tender, but I didn't get carried away.
I was about to retreat when her right hand grabbed mine.
Suddenly the tremor stopped.
I looked into her face.
She was staring at me. She had a confused expression, but her eyes were glued to mine as if she was looking for who knows what answer inside me.
"Do you remember me now?"
Faced with yet another silence from her, I broke away from her badly, but as soon as my hand left hers, Kendra gasped in fright, abruptly rising to take it back.
That gesture cost more pain in her chest.
She screamed out of the pain and this prevented her from leaning further forward to get to me.
***
KENDRA
My head throbbed violently and I didn't understand anything.
My mind was empty of all memories and crumbs of rationality, but full of pain and confusion.
That man in front of me scared me, but at the same time he created a sort of reassurance in me. Maybe it was because he seemed to know me, but his hard, stern, relentless gaze and tone were like a warning siren.
One part of me screamed to escape, while another begged me to stay and ask him for help.
I didn't know what to do and when I was again overwhelmed by fear and pain, only in his arms I felt something vaguely familiar.
Maybe it was the scent of his skin. A woody, fresh and aromatic essence. Intense and virile. He reminded me of something ... but what?
And that face ...
I had already seen it but it was all so hazy in my head, at least until my gaze was captivated by him.
There was something in those ebony eyes. Something wild but controlled. Powerful and magnetic, but also as elegant as the clothes he wore.
I immediately felt a certain awe at his gaze fixed on me, as if I were used to always taking a step back to avoid unleashing that aggressive side of his that seemed ready to escape and destroy anyone around.
Finally, that voice ... Yes, I knew that voice. I was sure. It was it who had sent me into crisis, because I was sure I had heard it before, but that low tone, rough and with a foreign accent that fascinated me, had actually put me in agitation.
Even his words had frightened me.
I had looked for their meaning, the reason why he was so angry with me, but I had not found it.
That thought had made me lose my temper and I found myself wanting to escape from that danger that I felt looming over me like a sword of Damocles.
I was terrified and weaker and weaker, so much so that my legs couldn't hold me, but in his arms I was able to catch my breath, numb and reassured by the scent of his skin.
But then he let me go and, as my hands ran along his arms to his fingertips, I suddenly felt panic flooding me and suffocating me.
When I saw his hand separating from mine I was assailed by an inexplicable fear.
I could almost see myself as an external spectator, while my body tended towards what seemed to be the only lifeline to avoid falling into the void.
I jumped forward and suddenly the pain in my chest, just below my left shoulder, pierced me as if someone had stabbed me.
It was a moment and suddenly the whole reality around me became dark.
I felt disconnected, as if I had been catapulted into another world.
I was on an elegant and very spacious staircase.
In front of me there was that man's hand again.
It was leaning towards me and I could feel my body tensing towards it, but the pain in my chest returned stronger than ever.
My breath broke in my throat, while my body fell backwards, into the void.
I tried to counter the invisible force that was pulling me towards the abyss, but I could not.
In front of me there was only that man leaning forward to grab me.
I saw his hand extended to me, but I only managed to touch it for a split second.
I looked up for a brief moment before falling.
I met my gaze with that of the man.
I read a shadow of fear and disbelief in it.
"Aleksej", I whispered desperately for help, as his hand became more and more distant and the pain unbearable.
Then everything disappeared and darkness returned.
A darkness torn only by my own screams mixed with those of the man who called the doctors.
With my heart pumping frantically and my body shaking with fear, I opened my eyes and realized I was crying.
I was completely curled up on myself, like a sheet of paper before being thrown into the trash.
I blinked several times to free myself from tears and in the end I saw it: that man's hand was in mine.
I was squeezing it so tightly that my nails stuck in his skin.
That image was like a sweet awakening.
"I did it ... I got you ..." I stammered shaken by a tears of relief and shock at what seemed to be a hallucination, as I was back in the white room where I had woken up again.
"What are you saying?", he asked me confused and out of breath.
"I… I was falling. Aleksej… ", I tried to explain without knowing how to do it. I was so devastated that I couldn't come up with a meaningful sentence.
"Then you remember me now", he hissed with a hint of sarcasm in his voice that left me unsettled.
Aleksej.
Yes, I remembered him, even if for the moment it was just a name and a physical body, devoid of an identity.
A little light of hope and memories of a distant and confused past.
I smiled with relief.
At that moment the doctor and two nurses came running.
I immediately heard the man get angry and shout something. It took me a moment, but then I realized that he was speaking another language.
A language that I gradually felt I knew.
They were talking about post-traumatic shock, reabsorbing brain hemorrhage, anxiolytics, while the man next to me was furious at not being warned about what had just happened and screamed that he was paying them enough to get answers about my health to make me heal.
"We don't know how long it will take, but surely we talk about at least a week", the doctor tried to say in the same foreign language.
"A week?!", the other got angry.
"Discharge her earlier could be risky. The microfracture of the skull takes time and the hemorrhage is not yet completely reabsorbed. In these cases, hospitalization cannot be less than two weeks."
"I don't want to stay here!", I interjected worriedly, clutching that hand to my chest from which I could no longer separate myself.
"You also speak Russian ... Why doesn't that surprise me?" the man hissed nervously, turning to me with a look so sharp that it left me breathless.
With a yank, he freed his hand from my grip.
"No…", I blew softly as if they had blown air out of my lungs.
"Keep her as long as you want, but I want this shame to end", the man growled, getting up from my bed and walking towards the door. Then he looked back at me. "And you, Kendra, have until tomorrow to… get your memory back. The time to play is long over."
"Aleksej", I whispered again in anguish, but he left leaving me at the mercy of myself and those doctors who immediately came to visit me and fill me with questions.
I was frightened because, as the questions increased, the awareness of having a big black hole in my head became more and more clear and vivid inside me.
The question that tormented me was: who am I?
Aleksej was the only thing I remembered.
He was my foothold in order not to drown in anxiety.
I wondered who I was and remembered that he had called me Kendra, but that name meant nothing to me.
I asked the nurses several times about Aleksej, but they didn't seem to want to listen to me.
I felt panic overwhelm me again, but before I could react and run to the only person I remembered, the doctor got a shot and shortly after I fell asleep.
CHAPTER 3
KENDRA
"Kendra, would you like if we try to concentrate and visualize your memories again?", asked the psychologist to whom my neurologist had addressed, after spending two days controlling my panic attacks and my seizures, that had started ever since I realized I had lost my memory.
Unfortunately, even with the psychologist things weren't going much better.
Every time I closed my eyes, I relived the same scene: I falling down the stairs, trying to grab Aleksej's hand.
The doctor had explained to me that this was not a hallucination, but a flashback of what had happened and that caused my hospitalization due to the injuries, including a skull fracture, a sprained ankle, a fracture of the meniscus, an injury to the right arm, a bruise on the face and a bad wound in the chest whose cause I had not yet understood.
For the doctors I was a miracle worker, because I could have died or been paralyzed due to the fall.
In those two days, I had done a lot of tests and finally the cerebral hemorrhage had disappeared with great relief for everyone.
However, Aleksej had not yet shown himself, and the more time passed, the more restless I felt.
I had repeatedly asked about him and if anyone knew why he was angry with me, everyone had avoided my questions with embarrassment.
"Kendra?" the psychologist called me back, bringing me back to reality.
"I've already told you. I don't remember anything. I don't know my name, where I come from, how I ended up here and, even though I know that the man is called Aleksej, I don't really remember anything about him. I just know that he knows me and he seems very angry with me. I don't understand ... What have I done to him? Why does he know me?"
"Let's try to get back to you."
"I'm sick of being bombarded with questions I can't answer" I blurted out, feeling my headache come back, like every time I fidgeted or struggled to remember.
"I'm just trying to help you".
"So, if you want to help me, call Aleksej. I'm sure he will be able to answer your questions and I will be able ..."
"Will you be able?"
"Nothing", I muttered embarrassed. I didn't want to reveal how alone I felt with my fears and questions, in that hospital bed, surrounded only by strangers.
As much as he scared me, Aleksej was the only memory I had. The only thing that kept me clinging to that shred of rationality, without drowning in madness.
"Mr. Vasilyev is not available at the moment."
"Are you talking about Aleksej?" That surname meant nothing to me.
"Yes."
"Please, I need him. I don't know what I must have done so badly to have made him hate me so much, but if only I could remember… ", I exploded, destroyed, bursting into tears.
"Kendra".
"I'd just like to talk to him and get some answers" I sobbed as my mind returned to the only memory I had, making me want only to reach Aleksej and feel safe.
***
ALEKSEJ
When I saw the name of the clinic's neurologist on my cell phone display, I felt restless for a moment.
"I hope there is some news" I began without preamble.
"Not what you expect, but ... "
"Then I am not interested" I cut short irritably.
"Mr. Vasilyev, please, you must believe me if I tell you that there is a real possibility that the patient is suffering from retrograde amnesia due to the severe head trauma reported. However, we are only talking about a mnemonic gap linked exclusively to memories, but not to gestures and behaviors. Even her language has not been damaged and the woman passes from Russian to English without the slightest difficulty. Not to mention that short-term or post-traumatic memory is intact."
"I do not care! I want to know what she's been doing to me in the past eight months" I snapped, slamming my fist on the desk.
"There are chances that memory will come back" the doctor stammered uncomfortably.
"I cannot believe. You are one of the best neurologists on the market, but you are so stupid that you have not yet understood that this amnesia thing is just a hoax."
"There are still many questions in my field, but I can assure you that there was and still is an injury" the offended doctor replied dryly. "Rather, I advise you to visit the woman."
"If she hasn't already run away."
"Run away?" It's impossible! Her room is under constant surveillance, as you requested. Furthermore, the patient's health conditions are still too precarious to walk alone for more than a few meters."
"Has she already asked you for a cell phone?"
"Yes."
"Seen? I was right! She is trying to cheat you!"
"She just asked us to call you. Repeatedly" the man countered.
"Me?"
"Yes. The psychologist claims that a sort of addiction has been created towards you because of her only memory. Kendra Palmer is suffering a lot, she feels alone and abandoned. She has no one and she suffers a lot from this amnesia. Our advice is to go back and talk to her, trying to put aside the hatred you feel, unless you want to tell her the truth."
"I'll never play her sneaky games."
"I don't think she is playing, but if you want to have answers, I think you are the only one who can have them. You have already managed to get her a memory. Who knows if your closeness won't make others emerge."
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