The Rancher's Return
Kathy Douglass
“That’s all you have to say? You’re back now?” Ten years ago, the love of Raven Reynolds life disappeared without a trace. Now Donovan Cordero is back, standing on her doorstep. Along the way, Raven had the rancher’s child—though he didn’t know she was pregnant! Now, her prayers have been answered, but happily ever after feels farther away than ever. Because how can she rebuild a life with her child’s father if she’s engaged to another man?
“That’s all you have to say? You’re back now?”
Ten years ago, the love of Raven Reynolds’s life disappeared without a trace. Now Donovan Cordero is back, standing on her doorstep. Along the way, Raven had the rancher’s child—though he didn’t know she was pregnant! Now her prayers have been answered, but happily-ever-after feels further away than ever. Because how can she rebuild a life with her child’s father if she’s engaged to another man?
“[Kathy Douglass] pulls you right in from page one, and you won’t want to leave.”
—#1 New York Times bestselling author Linda Lael Miller
KATHY DOUGLASS came by her love of reading naturally—both of her parents were readers. She would finish one book and pick up another. Then she attended law school and traded romances for legal opinions.
After the birth of her two children, her love of reading turned into a love of writing. Kathy now spends her days writing the small-town contemporary novels she enjoys reading.
Also by Kathy Douglass (#ub1b7a1a1-5190-5079-b93f-591c63c7310f)
Sweet Briar Sweethearts
How to Steal the Lawman’s Heart
The Waitress’s Secret
The Rancher and the City Girl
Winning Charlotte Back
Discover more at millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
The Rancher’s Return
Kathy Douglass
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
ISBN: 978-1-474-09085-8
THE RANCHER’S RETURN
© 2019 Kathleen Gregory
Published in Great Britain 2019
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF
All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.
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www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
To my husband and sons.
Thanks for your love and support. I love you all.
Contents
Cover (#uc7b597f9-0385-56c8-9af3-3e7c1c8bc0ab)
Back Cover Text (#u59d32987-0b99-51e8-b137-f7498c1ef1c6)
About the Author (#u7ca31f06-9606-5733-97e1-a1c787c744f3)
Booklist (#u889d8c36-60a5-5907-ba70-360eadd5e0b2)
Title Page (#u649993ef-f701-55c0-999b-87e4fdd8a011)
Copyright (#u9ac3b6d4-2f35-5973-9625-807e84c0e1a8)
Dedication (#u31745e3e-f176-55af-a191-dcbc33e7ef84)
Chapter One (#u0bbdbfc6-5180-5f82-8717-ab9db09fc217)
Chapter Two (#u49af7464-4846-5051-9e4b-40df1ab614ac)
Chapter Three (#u9f627660-d776-5054-af92-630750583445)
Chapter Four (#u8081e10c-0f16-5243-880c-5f02ea27eb70)
Chapter Five (#uf1ab0a1f-4b04-50c4-8732-e437ccc9847b)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seventeen (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#ub1b7a1a1-5190-5079-b93f-591c63c7310f)
Everything looked the same. After ten years away, ten years when he’d wondered if he would ever see the ranch where he’d been born and raised again, Donovan Cordero was home.
He was surprised that not one thing had changed. The large house was still painted the white color his mother loved. The shutters were still black. The simple backdrop was perfect for showcasing the flower gardens on either side of the stairs where his mother had spent hours each day. His earliest memories were of pulling weeds beside her, learning how to care for a variety of plants and flowers.
When he’d gotten older he’d begun to trail his father around their one hundred seventy-five acre ranch. He’d felt guilty for turning his back on his mother, but when he’d apologize for leaving her behind and offer to stay with her, she’d only laugh and shoo him away. After spending the day learning how to care for horses and cows, he’d race into the house and to his mother, who would always give him a big hug and kiss. Later he’d begun hanging out with his three best friends, Tony Wilson, Billy Campbell and Jericho Jones on the Double J Ranch. No matter how late he returned, his mother was always waiting with open arms to welcome him home.
Would she be as welcoming now? She’d spent the past ten years believing he was dead.
Fearing for her life and those of others he’d loved, he’d let her go right on believing that. He’d been young and frightened back then, too afraid to think of any option other than running. After seeing Karl Rivers kill a man in cold blood, where could he turn? The sheriff? Not likely since the sheriff had been beside Rivers, watching the entire thing. No doubt he’d helped with the cover-up.
To this day he still remembered the fear that had filled him when they’d spotted him. He’d pleaded for his life, promising never to tell a soul what he’d seen. He’d thought for sure they were going to kill him. Then Rivers had lowered his gun. Rivers had told Donovan that since he had always protected his son Carson from bullies, he was going to let him live. But there was a condition: Donovan had to leave town immediately and never come back. If Donovan stayed in town or breathed a word of what he’d seen, Rivers would kill not only him and his parents, but his girlfriend, Raven Reynolds, too. The dead body on the ground in a pool of blood left no doubt that Rivers was serious. He’d kill them all.
Karl Rivers was a powerful man in the state of North Carolina. A big political donor to Democrats and Republicans alike and cousin to the governor and a US senator, he had reach that Donovan could only imagine. As a teenage son of a simple rancher, Donovan had been no match for him. So he’d run. He’d left his parents and Raven behind for their good as well as his own.
Three days ago the major networks had carried the story of Rivers’s death from a heart attack. Donovan had watched in anger as politicians from one end of the country to the other gave tribute to Rivers, speaking of him in glowing terms. No one would ever know what a monster he’d been. But then a sense of relief replaced the anger. Donovan could go home without risking the lives of those he loved.
So he’d quit his job on the ranch where he’d worked under a fake name for the past seven years. Though he liked Della and Gabe Turner, he didn’t give them the notice he would have if he were leaving for any other reason. He’d wanted to get home as soon as possible. He’d said goodbye to the men and women on the cattle ranch who had become his friends, loaded up his truck and driven east.
He checked his watch. Five fifty-eight. He’d been sitting in his truck for the past three minutes. Now that he was home, his knees felt weak and his heart thudded in his chest. He’d been in the area for almost ten minutes but he’d driven around trying to get rid of his sudden anxiety. He’d been fine as he’d driven Interstate 20 across several states. But as he’d crossed into North Carolina, he’d gotten anxious. The closer he got to home, the more jittery he’d become.
Dinner had always been at six o’clock in the Cordero home. Donovan’s mother had designated that hour as family time and it was sacred; Donovan’s father had never once been late, no matter how much work remained. So Donovan knew he was about to see both of his parents within a matter of minutes.
Breathing hard, Donovan got out of the car and sprinted across the driveway and up the stairs. Never in the nineteen years that he’d lived in this house had he rung the doorbell and it felt strange to do it now. But after being gone all these years, he didn’t feel right strolling into the house and asking what was for dinner. As the doorbell pealed, his heart sped up. He heard footsteps. As they got closer, his anticipation grew.
“Yes?”
At the sound of his mother’s beloved voice his eyes filled with tears. He looked through the screen door. “Ma?”
His mother gasped. Visibly shaken, she staggered back. For a second he thought she might pass out, but with a strength he remembered, she grasped the door and stared. Tears filled her eyes and ran down her smooth, brown cheeks. “Donovan. Oh, my sweet baby boy. You’re home. My baby boy is home.”
He yanked open the door and pulled his sobbing mother into his arms. “I’m home, Ma. I’m home.”
“Lena, who is that showing up at dinnertime?” Donovan’s dad asked, coming into the entryway.
Donovan looked up, not releasing his mother from their embrace. “It’s me, Dad.”
Donovan’s father stared at him for a moment. The look on his face was that of a man whose every dream had just come true. He gave a shout of joy then crossed the room in long strides, taking Donovan and his mother into his arms. “Son. You’re home. I’ve waited ten long years for this day to come.”
As the family hugged, a sense of relief and joy that had been a decade in the making filled Donovan. They held on to each other for long minutes before separating. They didn’t fully break contact but rather leaned on each other as they walked into the living room and sat on the familiar striped sofa his mother had fallen in love with on sight at the store.
Donovan took a quick look around the room. Everything was blessedly familiar. The furniture was in the exact same arrangement as it had been when he’d last seen it if a bit more worn. The same family photographs hung over the fireplace, freezing them in time.
“I knew you would come home,” his mother said, dabbing at the corner of her eyes with the hem of her white blouse. “Everyone told us that you were dead and that we needed to move on, but I knew better. I knew you were alive. A mother’s heart knows.”
“As does a father’s.”
Watery laughter burst from Donovan’s mouth. Mario Cordero had always insisted that a father could love just as strongly as a mother and that a dad possessed the same intuition when it came to his children.
“And you’re just in time for dinner.” Donovan’s mother rose and, grabbing his hand, led him to the kitchen.
After washing his hands, Donovan sat at the familiar table in his usual seat. There was something comforting about having everything the same as he remembered. His mother had made a roast with vegetables, one of his favorite meals. He had to admit that no matter what she’d made, he would have been ecstatic. Over the years he’d eaten at many tables, but nothing compared to sitting down at this scarred oak table again.
As they ate, they talked about everything and nothing. They were too emotional to have deep conversations and frequently wiped happy tears from their faces. When the meal had been eaten, they lingered into the night, sipping sweet coffee. Until finally they could no longer avoid the burning question that had so far gone unasked.
“Why did you leave, son?” Lena asked quietly, heartbreak and confusion in her voice.
Donovan had known this time would come. He’d prepared many answers that he hoped would satisfy them without bringing up the terrible past. Now that he was face-to-face with his parents, seeing the love in their eyes, he couldn’t lie to them. He respected them too much. Besides, after years of worry, they deserved the truth. “I saw something I shouldn’t have. A murder. The man who committed the crime threatened us and Raven if I didn’t leave town immediately. So I left.”
“Oh my God,” Lena whispered.
“Are you safe now?” Mario asked, rising. No doubt he was going for one of the guns he kept locked in a gun safe in his study.
“I believe so. The murderer is dead now.”
“I never heard anything about a murder back then.” Mario sank back into his seat. “Why didn’t you come to me? We could have gone to the sheriff.”
Donovan shook his head then stared at his father. “No, we couldn’t have.”
It only took a second for that to sink in.
“I always knew that man was a snake,” Mario said, anger filling his voice. “No wonder he died under suspicious circumstances three years ago. There’s no telling how many crimes he covered up.”
“It doesn’t matter now,” Lena said, patting Donovan’s cheek like she’d done when he was a kid. “You’re home and that’s all I care about.”
Donovan knew that once the euphoria and shock of his return wore off, his parents would ask more questions. Even now Donovan sensed there was more his father wanted to ask but mercifully he held back. Emotionally drained, Donovan was grateful for the reprieve.
A somber feeling settled in the room, taking some of the glow from the earlier joy and excitement of Donovan’s return. A few minutes passed before Lena jumped up. “You must be tired. Your room is all set.”
Donovan was tired but he was much too keyed up to sleep. Nevertheless he followed his parents to his room. The door was closed but when he opened it, it was like stepping into the past. His room was exactly the way he’d left it. If not for the fact that he’d lived every single day, Donovan might have believed the past ten years had been a mirage. The only thing different was the bare mattress. His mother grabbed some sheets from the linen closet and headed for the bed.
“I can do that, Ma,” Donovan said, reaching for the sheets.
“I know you can. But I’ve come into this room for years, longing for the day you would return and sleep in this bed again. Let me make it for you.”
When she put it like that, there was no way Donovan could say no, so he stepped aside and let his mother put sheets on his bed. While she worked, he moved around his room, touching mementos from his youth. He’d never been especially neat, and everything remained as he’d left it. His computer was still centered on his desk, along with a comic book, open to the exact page where he’d stopped reading.
“Done,” his mother said, beaming at him.
“Thanks, Ma.” He pulled his mother into a tight hug then walked with her to the door. She hadn’t tucked him in since he was about seven or eight, but he could tell she would be happy to do so tonight if he’d let her. Instead he kissed her on her forehead and told her how glad he was to be home again. “See you guys in the morning.”
After they hugged him one more time, Donovan’s parents said good-night and he closed the door behind them. Once he was alone in his room, Donovan picked up a picture from his bookcase. Raven. His heart skipped a beat as he looked at the girl he’d loved from the time he was sixteen. With clear brown skin and large, dark eyes, she’d been a beauty. Her long, thick hair was a rich black, befitting her name.
Her parents owned the neighboring ranch, so they’d grown up together. For the first years of his life, he’d thought of Raven as one of the guys. Their mothers had been close friends so he and Raven had played together from the time they could walk. When he’d been about nine or ten, he and his three best friends had formed a boys only club and Raven had been excluded. He could still remember the tears in her eyes when he’d told her that boys and girls didn’t play together so they couldn’t be friends anymore.
When he turned sixteen, he’d seen Raven riding her horse along the fence that separated their property. He’d called out to her but she’d ridden away. He’d tried to catch up with her but she’d been a magnificent rider and left him in the dust. Captivated by her beauty, he’d been determined to re-establish their friendship. Two days later he’d gotten up the nerve to show up at her home unannounced. She hadn’t been impressed. In fact, she hadn’t even acknowledged his presence until he’d given her a bouquet of pink roses. Then she’d smiled and his heart had leaped.
They’d sat on her front porch for hours that day. He’d accepted her mother’s invitation to dinner. When he’d gone home that evening, he’d been totally in love and known that she was the girl he’d marry. Raven hadn’t been convinced of his sincerity and he’d had to work hard to win her heart. By the time summer ended, he’d succeeded. They’d been inseparable until the day he’d been forced to leave her behind.
Was she married now? The youngest of five children, she’d wanted a bunch of kids of her own. No doubt she had a family by now. Just because his parents appeared to have remained frozen in time waiting for him to return didn’t mean that Raven had.
Donovan pulled back the curtains and stared out the window. The full moon and bright stars illuminated the night. Suddenly he yearned to see more of the ranch. Tiptoeing down the stairs so as not to disturb his parents, he grabbed his boots from the front hall and carried them until he was standing on the back porch. He quickly put them on and headed for the stables.
He pulled the doors open and looked around then walked slowly down the center aisle. When he reached the third stall he stopped. Zeus. His horse. He’d gotten Zeus for his fifteenth birthday. Some kids liked dogs and treated them like family, but Zeus had been all he’d wanted.
He reached out and rubbed his horse’s nose. Zeus snorted and then began stomping his feet, pawing at the floor in his excitement. Once the horse calmed down, Donovan led him out of the stall and quickly saddled him. Donovan put his foot into the stirrup and swung into the saddle.
The night was quiet and Donovan relaxed as he started across the moonlit grass toward the open fields. He and Zeus had traveled this way many nights. When he and Raven had been dating, they’d had a special place where they’d meet at night. It was on Cordero land but close enough to the Reynolds’ ranch that Raven could ride there easily. They’d rendezvous beside a babbling brook then wander hand-in-hand through the meadow. Donovan had carved their initials on the trunk of one of the many large trees. He’d told her it was a sign that he’d regretted all the ways that he’d hurt her in the past and a vow that he’d love her forever. It hadn’t been an original idea, but Raven had been so moved that she’d actually cried.
But then Raven had always worn her heart on her sleeve. There had never been any mystery to her heart or how she’d felt. She’d never played games so he had never felt the need to do so, either.
As he neared the meadow, he heard the sound of hooves. The sound was faint, but he caught a glimpse of someone riding away. The rider was too far off for Donovan to tell if the person was a man or woman. When he reached his destination, he put it out of his mind. He was there to reconnect with a special piece of land and to see if he could recapture some of the joy he’d felt back then.
Dismounting, Donovan walked to the tree. Though it had been a decade since he’d been here last, he could have found the spot where he’d carved a heart with their initials while blindfolded. He rubbed his hand over the letters and then sat. He’d visit Raven’s family ranch tomorrow and find out how she was doing. He didn’t expect to rekindle their relationship after all this time, but it would be good to catch up with her.
The horse neighed and Donovan rose. He needed to get back to the house. Ranch work started early and Donovan wanted to help out his dad the way he always had, so he mounted the horse and headed for home.
* * *
Raven Reynolds crept into the kitchen, hoping to get to her room without running into anyone. Not that she’d done anything wrong. She just didn’t feel like having a discussion with her mother about where she’d been. Marilyn Reynolds was nobody’s fool and she could put two and two together faster than anyone. And really, there was no mystery about where Raven had been. She’d been caught coming in from meeting Donovan many times when she’d been a teenager. They’d loved each other so deeply they couldn’t bear to be apart for an entire night.
But then he’d vanished without a trace ten years ago. Every rancher in the area and citizen of Sweet Briar, the nearest town, had looked for him, but they’d never turned up a clue. It was as if Donovan had existed one day then ceased existing the next. Despite evidence to the contrary, she’d believed in her heart he was alive and would return to her. Even now she refused to believe he was dead.
But even so, it was time to move on. She’d finally accepted that even if he was still alive somewhere, he was not returning home. As much as she loved him, it was time to say goodbye to him. She thought she’d done that when she’d accepted Carson Rivers’s marriage proposal five months ago. She’d been wrong. A part of her had still been holding on to Donovan and the future they’d dreamed of sharing. That future wasn’t going to happen. If she was going to be true to Carson and give their marriage a chance, she needed to actually say goodbye to Donovan for good.
So tonight she’d ridden out to their special place on his family ranch and watched as the sun set and the moon rose. Memory after memory flashed through her mind and she’d shed more than a few tears. She’d ranted and raved at the injustice of it all, releasing the pain she hadn’t been able to get rid of in all these years. When she’d been worn out emotionally, she’d gotten on her horse and ridden home.
Thankfully no one was in the kitchen and she was able to make it upstairs without discovery. She looked in at Elias and found that he’d fallen asleep while reading again. She turned off the flashlight and put a bookmark on the page before putting the book on his nightstand. It was a hassle to get him to do his math homework, but he willingly read at least two books a week, not including comic books that he read by the half dozen. She kissed her son on the forehead then crossed his room, closing the door behind her.
When Raven reached her room, she flung herself across her bed and began to sob. She thought she’d cried her last tears when she’d run her hand across the carved letters on their tree, but she’d been wrong. There were still tears left. But as she let them come, she vowed that this would be the last time. She needed to commit one hundred percent to her fiancé and to put Donovan Cordero in the past.
Chapter Two (#ub1b7a1a1-5190-5079-b93f-591c63c7310f)
“I want to have a party,” Lena said, putting three slices of bacon on Donovan’s already overflowing plate. He’d awakened at the crack of dawn and gotten dressed to help his father with morning chores. His mother had been awake, as well, humming as she bustled around the kitchen. She’d always made a hearty breakfast for them, but this was above and beyond anything she’d prepared in the past.
“What kind of party?” Donovan asked then held up a hand preventing his mother from adding fried ham to his plate.
“For the neighbors and the people of Sweet Briar. I want to let everyone know that you’re back home.” Lena sat and began eating her own food. “Maybe we can have a cookout this weekend.”
Donovan chewed for a while, pondering how best to turn down his mother. He understood her enthusiasm, but he wasn’t ready for that kind of interaction with the community just yet. Actually he would prefer not to make a big deal of his return. He’d rather handle people one-on-one as he encountered them. “Maybe later. I’m not really up to seeing the whole town right now. I’d like to settle down a bit and spend time with my family and closest friends for a while.”
“I’m just so happy you’re home. I want to tell the whole world.”
“I’m not saying keep it a secret. You can tell anyone you want. I just don’t want to be around a whole lot of people right now.”
His mother sighed, disappointed.
“Lena, let the boy settle in first,” Mario said, patting Donovan’s mother on the hand. “Think of this time as ours alone. And in the meantime you can plan the biggest party this county has ever seen for when he is ready.”
“All right,” Lena conceded, to Donovan’s great relief. “A good party will require planning.”
They talked more as they ate. When Mario finished eating, he stood and Donovan did, as well. He’d spent the past ten years as a paid hand on other people’s ranches. He’d worked hard, earning every cent he’d been paid. It felt good to work just as hard on land that belonged to his family. “See you at lunch.”
Donovan worked beside his father and the ranch hands. He only recognized one or two of them from before he’d left. The rest his father had hired over the years. Mario paid a fair wage and expected his men to earn it. It was only after he’d been on his own and working for others that Donovan appreciated the way his father managed his employees.
After dinner Donovan felt restless. He tried to fight it, but after a few minutes of an intense internal battle gave up. He needed to see Raven. Grabbing his keys and hat, he told his parents he’d be back later and drove up the road to the Reynolds’ property. For all he knew, she could have moved away as her older brothers had. Or as much as he hated the thought, she could be married with kids. He should have asked his parents. Well, it was too late now. If she no longer lived there, her parents could tell him how to get in touch with her.
Though each of the ranches was a decent size, the ride by truck only took ten minutes. During that short drive, Donovan recalled the last time he’d seen Raven. They’d met at their special spot. She’d been anxious to tell him something and he hadn’t been able to determine whether she’d been excited or scared. His friend Billy had been home on leave from the army and he’d phoned Donovan before Raven could share her secret. He’d been willing to stay with her, but she’d encouraged him to hang out with his friend. He’d promised to come to her house later so they could talk. Then he’d witnessed the murder and his life had been irrevocably changed. If he could turn back time, he would have stayed with Raven.
Over the years, when he’d been especially lonely for home, he’d wondered what Raven had wanted to tell him. He’d imagined all sorts of things but doubted he’d ever come close to the truth. He supposed he could ask her now but he wouldn’t. Ten years had passed. Though the moment had been indelibly marked in his mind, he doubted it was the same for her. For all intents and purposes, his life had ended when he’d left town. Hers had not.
He pulled into the circle drive in front of the large ranch house where Raven had grown up. Unlike his parents, the Reynolds had made changes to their home. The porch swing where he and Raven had spent many pleasant evenings had been replaced by dark brown wicker furniture with floral pillows. A wooden chest with a padded top was centered in front of the love seat.
As he waited for someone to answer the door, it occurred to him that this was the second time in as many days that he was standing on someone’s porch waiting to tell them he was alive. For a moment he thought about leaving, but decided that ten years was long enough to go without seeing Raven. Besides, no matter how she found out, she was going to be shocked. And he’d missed her too much to wait. Over the years he’d dated other women, but he’d never given his heart to any of them. He’d been living a lie and hadn’t been in a position to be honest with anyone without risking their lives, too. If he’d had to leave town suddenly, he couldn’t have taken anyone with him. He hadn’t wanted to risk the pain of separation again. Though time had passed and his feelings had faded, Raven was the only girl he’d ever loved.
The door swung open and there she was. Raven. His heart stuttered and all he could do was stare.
She was even more beautiful than he remembered. More beautiful than in his dreams. Tall and skinny when they’d been teenagers, she’d filled out and now had slim curves. Her straight black hair hung over her shoulders, gently caressing her breasts. But it was her face with her big brown eyes, high cheekbones and full lips that captivated him.
“Hi. Can I help you?” Though she looked at him quizzically, she smiled.
His breath caught in his throat and he lost the power to speak. Over the years he’d imagined seeing her again and thought of what he’d say. How he’d feel. But he’d underestimated the emotion that would consume him as he finally came face-to-face with the girl he’d loved. His vision blurred and he blinked away the moisture in his eyes. Time had intervened and he no longer loved her the way he had at nineteen, but there was still an unnamable something there. A connection that had compelled him to see her even though she’d surely moved on with her life.
“Sir? Are you okay?”
Donovan had no idea how much time had passed but it had been enough to arouse her concern. “Raven.”
She gasped and looked at him. Really looked. “Don—Donovan?”
“Yes.”
The color drained from her face and she froze. Then her entire body began to shake. She reached out her arms and slowly began to sag to the floor. Donovan stepped inside and managed to catch her before she hit the floor. He scooped her into his arms and carried her into the front room and lay her on her sofa.
How could he be so stupid? Showing up out of the blue was boneheaded and inconsiderate. After ten years without hearing from him, she had to believe he was dead. He should have anticipated this kind of reaction. Even his mother, who’d never given up hope that he’d return, had nearly fainted with shock at the sight of him.
He should have let his mother throw the party like she’d wanted. That way nobody would react as if they’d seen a ghost when they saw him. He’d told his mother she could tell whomever she wanted that he was back, but he didn’t know who she’d told so far. Not that it mattered now. Clearly the word hadn’t reached Raven.
Her hair had fallen over her face and he brushed it aside then watched, waiting for her to come around. After a minute her eyelashes fluttered and she began to stir. She opened her eyes and stared right at him then lifted her hand and touched his face. “It’s really you.”
“It’s really me.”
She pushed herself into a sitting position then scooted around and put her feet on the floor. She was still wobbly although her color was returning.
“Easy.”
Raven reached out and wrapped her arms around him. He inhaled her familiar scent. She smelled of outdoors and sunshine with a slight hint of lavender soap. He closed his eyes and simply enjoyed the feel of her. Although their bodies had changed and matured over the past decade, she still fit perfectly in his arms.
After a moment she pulled back slightly and looked into his eyes. The joy he saw in her gaze was unmistakable. “When did you get back?”
“Yesterday. Dinnertime.”
She touched his face again as if trying to convince herself that he was real. “You came back yesterday?”
He nodded.
“Where have you been all this time?”
“Working on ranches in Texas.”
“But you never called. You never came back.” She sounded confused. Hurt.
He could imagine that she felt angry and betrayed, among other things. At least that’s what he would feel in her position. He’d known this wasn’t going to be an easy conversation, but it was more difficult than he’d expected. The heartbroken expression on her face seared his soul.
“I’m back now.” He wished he had the words to take away her pain but he didn’t think they existed. He wanted to tell her the truth, but she was so shaky he didn’t think she could handle the shock of discovering her life had been threatened. He would tell her the truth when she was stronger.
She snorted. “That’s all you have to say? You’re back now?”
She pushed to her feet then stumbled. He immediately grabbed her elbow to steady her. Her weakness only steeled his resolve to protect her. A body could only take so much and obviously she couldn’t handle another emotional blow now.
“I guess. It’s good to see you.”
She jerked away. “You need to leave. Now.”
“Raven.”
“Do you have any idea how worried I was? How scared? The entire town searched for you day and night. Jericho, Tony and Billy drove back and forth to town for weeks looking for clues that would help us find you. Your parents put up fliers. The church held fund-raisers to raise money for a reward. They raised twenty-five-thousand dollars for information. Mr. Rivers contributed twenty-five-thousand dollars so we would have a fifty-thousand-dollar reward.”
Donovan stiffened at Karl Rivers’s name. That old hypocrite, pretending to care about Donovan. No doubt he thought it was best to keep track of what was being done to find him. Not to mention it made him look good. Having a good public image made it that much easier to do his dirt in the dark. That and owning politicians and controlling law enforcement.
“Do you know how many nights I couldn’t sleep because I was worrying about you? Praying for you? I cried for months. I had to force myself to eat because of... I was devastated. Everyone kept telling me that you were dead, but I didn’t believe it. I kept hoping you would come back to me. As time passed without a word, I figured you must have been hurt. That was the only reason I could think of that you wouldn’t return to me. I promised God that I would take care of you if he’d only bring you back. And all the time you’ve been fine. You could have come home if you’d wanted. You just didn’t want to.”
“That’s not true.” He hadn’t meant to justify his actions, but hearing her speak as if she hadn’t been his entire world was unbearable. He would have sacrificed his life to come back. He just hadn’t been willing to sacrifice hers.
“Were you in prison? In a coma? Held hostage?”
He’d been held hostage but not in the way Raven meant. His love for her and his family had made it impossible to return as long as Karl Rivers lived. But as soon as the news of the man’s death reached him, Donovan had been freed from his captivity. He’d barely stopped to sleep or eat on his race to get home.
“Well?” Raven pressed.
There would be no reasoning with her tonight. Not unless he was willing to shock her further by telling her about the threat to her life. He didn’t want to win the argument that badly.
“No. I was none of those things.”
* * *
Raven forced herself not to cry at Donovan’s words. She thought of all the years she’d spent hoping he would come home. She’d never believed he would leave her without a good reason, so she’d figured something had to be wrong with him. There just had to be a reason he hadn’t returned to her. She’d tried to put herself in his mind and come up with an explanation for his prolonged absence. As time went on, her reasons became more desperate.
Perhaps he’d been badly injured. Maybe he’d been disfigured or paralyzed and thought she wouldn’t love him any longer. But she’d love Donovan no matter what. She’d prayed that God could reach him wherever he was and help him to know that.
Other times she’d imagine he had amnesia and had forgotten who he was and where he belonged. She’d searched online for stories about young men found without identification and police looking for help from the public. Over the years she’d read about three or four such cases, but none had been the man she’d loved with her whole heart and soul. She’d been dying inside, and he’d been fine and dandy, living his life in Texas.
How could he do that to her? And his parents? The Corderos had been destroyed. With the passage of time, they’d become more distraught, barely able to care for themselves. After a while other people moved on with their lives, putting Donovan’s disappearance in the past as a mystery that might never be solved. Mr. and Mrs. Cordero had been the only ones who’d shared Raven’s belief that Donovan would one day return.
“Did your parents know where you were?” It would be awful to think that they’d betrayed her the way he had.
“No. No one knew where I was.”
“Well, at least I know you were just as cruel to them as you were to me.”
“Don’t cry, Raven. I didn’t come here to hurt you.”
She angrily wiped at tears she hadn’t realized were falling. “Then why did you come?”
He seemed to mull that over. That was different. The Donovan of her youth had been impulsive and fun. A daredevil, he’d act first and think later. He’d changed. And not just his personality.
He was physically different, too.
Ten years ago he’d been tall and lanky. Being a ranch kid, he’d been physically strong even if he hadn’t had the muscles as evidence. He was still the same height, probably six feet two or three, but his shoulders were broader and his chest was fuller, yet his stomach was just as flat, his waist as trim. If his muscular body was anything to go by, whatever he’d been doing had been physical. His brown skin glowed with good health and his eyes were clear and sharp as ever. From all appearances, he’d lived well this past decade.
That thought pierced her soul. He could have returned to her and had chosen not to. Instead he’d been living the good life in Texas. Not that she’d wanted him to have suffered. The thought of him in agony somewhere was more than her heart could take. But knowing that he’d left her in misery for ten long years when he hadn’t had to shred her heart. She would never forgive him.
And to think she’d dreamed of this moment for years. None of her imaginings had looked like this. And they certainly hadn’t hurt like this. Nothing could ever hurt this badly. “You need to leave. Now.”
“I’m sorry for hurting you. I hope we can become friends again.”
Friends? Not likely. She hated him. If she never saw him again, it would be too soon. As far as she was concerned he could disappear forever. He’d kept his existence a secret for years. If he wanted to keep secrets...well she could do the same. “No. We’re done.”
She heard the pounding of feet a second before she heard the voice. And then she knew she wouldn’t be able to keep her secret after all.
“Mom?”
Chapter Three (#ub1b7a1a1-5190-5079-b93f-591c63c7310f)
Mom? Donovan reeled at the word. Did Raven have a child? A husband? Although he’d told himself he wanted her to have moved on and made a happy life without him, the thought that she’d fallen in love with another man sucked the air from his lungs. He didn’t even try to reconcile the two opposing feelings. Emotions weren’t logical and it would be foolish to try to make sense of them.
He turned to see a boy of about eight or nine standing there looking straight at Raven. When she didn’t answer him, he directed his attention to Donovan. “Who are you?”
Donovan opened his mouth to answer but when he met the kid’s eyes he couldn’t speak. His stomach seized as if he’d been punched in the gut. The kid’s eyes were the exact shade of gray as the ones that stared at Donovan from the mirror each morning as he shaved. The same gray eyes Donovan had inherited from his father. Realization dawned fast and Donovan’s knees buckled. This boy was his son. Raven had been pregnant and he hadn’t known it. Was that what she’d planned to tell him that last day?
“Who is he, Mom?”
Donovan wanted to blurt out that he was his father but he didn’t. That would be selfish. For all Donovan knew, Raven was married and the kid might believe his stepfather was his dad. Was Raven married? Donovan looked at her left hand. No ring. Not that the absence of a wedding band meant anything. She could have taken it off to do work around the ranch. Or maybe she’d simply forgotten to put it on this morning. There were any number of reasons to explain why Raven wasn’t wearing a ring.
Raven glanced at Donovan before smiling at the boy. “This is Donovan Cordero. He’s Mr. and Mrs. Cordero’s son and a friend of mine.”
“Mr. and Mrs. Cordero are nice.” His eyes lit up and he took a step closer to Donovan. “Are you the guy who disappeared?”
Donovan managed a nod.
“Wow. Where were you? Why didn’t you come home?”
“Elias. Enough with the questions. What did you want with me?”
Elias grinned and a dimple flashed in his left cheek. Donovan also had a dimple in his left cheek. It was like seeing himself at nine years old. “I wanted to tell you there’s going to be a carnival in Sweet Briar this weekend and ask if you want to go with me.”
Raven smiled. “If I want to go with you? That’s a pretty sneaky question since I don’t remember saying you could go.”
“Oh, Mom. All the kids are going. Please.”
“I’ll decide after I see the grade on your math test.”
“Mom.”
Raven cut off Elias mid-grumble. “I need to talk to Donovan. Go start your homework.”
“Okay.” The boy took two steps then turned back around and grinned at Donovan. “Welcome home.”
“Thanks,” Donovan said but the kid had already sprinted from the room.
Neither Raven nor Donovan spoke for a minute. Donovan was in a state of shock and incapable of forming a coherent sentence. The world had completely tilted and he was struggling to get it back on its axis. Adding the new revelation to the emotional upheaval of the past five days had left him emotionally wrung out. He tried to grab hold of his rapidly shifting emotions but couldn’t get a handle on even one of them. Two thoughts kept circling his mind. I have a son. And he doesn’t know who I am.
He blew out a breath and then looked at Raven. Though she’d managed to hold it together while Elias was in the room, she was trembling again. She looked as weak as he felt.
He reached out a hand to her. “Raven.”
Her eyes filled with tears as she met his gaze. “What?”
“He’s mine, isn’t he? Elias is my son.” Although he’d known the second he’d seen the child, he needed to hear her say it.
“Yes.” That softly spoken word changed his entire life. He was a father.
He smiled. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For having my son. You didn’t have to. I know it couldn’t have been easy for you.”
Surprise had her deep brown eyes widening. “You’re not upset?”
“Upset? No. Why would I be?”
“Because.” She gave a nervous laugh. “I don’t know. Back then I was so afraid you’d be angry at me for getting pregnant. I worried you might think I was trying to trap you. I guess that feeling popped up now because... I don’t know.”
Donovan was angry. But not at Raven. She’d given him a son. He was angry at Karl Rivers. Because of him Donovan had been a father for nine years and not known it. He’d missed watching Raven grow bigger as their child grew within her and then holding her hand as she’d given birth to their son. He’d missed every day of his son’s life. All because of Karl Rivers.
Anger at the man consumed Donovan and nearly bubbled over. He suppressed it. He couldn’t let his fury show. If he did, Raven would believe he was angry at her.
“Are you married?”
“What?”
“Are you married? Do you have a husband? Other kids?”
Raven took two steps and got in his face. Her eyes flashed with fury although he couldn’t imagine why she was angry. It was a logical question. “You have your nerve. You vanish, leaving me pregnant and alone and out of my mind worrying about what could be happening to you. And you were fine. You could have come home anytime. You could have called to let me know you were alive and well. But you didn’t care enough about what I was going through to do that. So you don’t get to know about my life. It’s none of your business.”
“It is, too, my business. Elias is my son. If some other man is around him, I have a right to know.”
“A right?” She sputtered and her hands fisted. He’d never known Raven to be violent but a lot could have changed in ten years. Even though he doubted her personality had changed that much, he didn’t want to test that theory, so he took a step back.
“Yes. I’m Elias’s father.” Raven sucked in a breath and Donovan spoke quickly before she could get wound up again. “I’m not saying this the right way.”
“No kidding.”
“Let me try again. I’m still in a state of shock here, so if I’m fumbling for words, I apologize.”
“You’re not the only one. I’m reeling myself.”
“I’m grateful to you for having my son. For raising him. I don’t know enough words to tell you how much. But he’s my son, too, and I want the opportunity to be a part of his life. I want to get to know him. Spend time with him.”
She shook her head. “So you think you’re just going to waltz back into town and into Elias’s life and act as if you haven’t been missing in action for the past decade? Is that what you’re saying?”
“I know I haven’t been a part of Elias’s life, but I want to be. I’m back now.”
“For how long?”
“I’m staying.”
Raven put a hand on her forehead. He wished he could know what she was thinking but maybe it was best that he couldn’t. His head was so full that he didn’t think he could hold another thought. “I haven’t seen or heard from you in ten years, Donovan. Ten years. Surely you don’t expect me to just let you hang out with my son. I don’t trust you that much. Or at all, really. For all I know, you could take my son and vanish for another ten years.”
“Our son. And no. I don’t expect you to let me take him places. At least not yet. But I do want to get to know him.”
She paced the room for several stressful minutes. Finally she looked at him. Her expression was firm, her eyes steel. “I’m not going to tell him who you are right now. That’s not debatable.”
Donovan was disappointed at Raven’s pronouncement but squashed the urge to fight with her. She already harbored animosity for what she believed was his callous disregard of her feelings. Arguing with her over this wouldn’t help. So he’d allow her to make the rules for now. Besides, it might be easier to get to know Elias if he didn’t know Donovan’s true identity. He might resent Donovan for being absent all of his life. It might be better to build a relationship than to tell Elias the truth. That way, if Elias was upset, they would have established a bond, making it easier to deal with his feelings.
“Okay.”
“And another thing. You aren’t going to be alone with Elias. If you’re with him, then so am I. Again, that’s not negotiable.”
Donovan nodded, keeping himself from smiling. He’d often thought of Raven over the years. On those endless, lonely nights when he’d longed to come home, memories of time they’d spent together kept him going. Though he’d never stopped hoping he’d be able to come home one day, he’d never let himself believe he and Raven would ever be together again. Now she was insisting on it. He knew she wasn’t saying they spend time together because she missed him or wanted to take up where they left off. She didn’t trust him. Still he was anticipating the next few days and weeks. “Okay. So when can I see him again?”
She breathed out a sigh. She looked drained. “I don’t know, Donovan. You’ve shaken up my life. You’re back from the dead and wanting to be a part of our son’s life. I need a minute to think about things and get my bearings.”
“That’s fair.” Truth be told, although he wanted to start spending time with his son and Raven immediately, he needed to get his bearings, too. He’d gone from trying to catch up with his first love to discovering he was a father in under an hour. Not to mention that he was home again, his exile over. Sure the changes in his life were all positive, but he still could use time to process everything.
“I’ll call you in a couple of days and we can set up something.”
“Okay.” He gave her his cell phone number and had her call him so he’d have her number, too. Once they’d saved each other’s info, she walked out of the room in a none-too-subtle hint that it was time for him to leave. When they reached the door, she held it open. Before he stepped through it he touched her hand. Their eyes met and held. “Thanks again for my son.”
Raven watched from the window as Donovan walked to his truck. She needed to make sure he didn’t turn around and come back. She had to make sure he was gone before she loosened the reins on her emotions. Only after he’d driven away did she allow herself to sag into a chair.
Donovan was alive. She’d always believed she’d know if he wasn’t, but recently she’d started to think her belief was simply misplaced hope. But he was alive and living next door to her. Lucky for her next door in a ranching community didn’t mean the same thing as it did in a town. He couldn’t see her as she came and went about her day so she’d still have the privacy necessary to maintain some semblance of order in her life.
Order in her life. That was a joke. Her life had spun out of control the moment she’d opened the door and seen Donovan standing on the other side. It had been a dream come true until it wasn’t.
She gritted her teeth, holding back the angry scream that was fighting to get out. She’d held on to her love for all those years—worrying about him—and he’d been fine. Happy and healthy. She couldn’t believe the man she’d loved had done that to her. But he had.
She’d waited for an explanation, hoping he’d give her a reason for vanishing from her life, but he hadn’t even tried to explain. Perhaps because there wasn’t a reason for hurting her that way. Or maybe he thought he didn’t owe her an explanation. Maybe she’d made more of their relationship than had actually been there. Perhaps she’d been the only one in love.
She needed to get out of there. The minute her parents got home from the grocery store, Raven asked her mother to keep an eye on Elias then she saddled Evening Dream, her favorite horse, and headed across the grass to a spot she knew she wouldn’t be disturbed. When she and Donovan had been young and in love, they’d spent blissful hours in their special place. Once he’d disappeared, she couldn’t go there without thinking of him and breaking down, so she’d found a new location where she could have a bit of peace. Somewhere she didn’t associate with Donovan. She’d ridden her entire ranch until she’d found a field where her soul felt at rest. It was as far away from the Cordero ranch as she could get while staying on her property. That’s where she headed now.
Evening Dream seemed to instinctively know where Raven wanted to go, so she let her mind wander as the horse crossed the ranch at a leisurely pace. When they reached the boulder where Raven frequently sat to think, she dismounted and let Evening Dream drink from a nearby spring. Rather than sit, Raven picked up long blades of grass and began to split them. When the silence became too much for her, she leaned back, lifted her head and let out a long scream, voicing all of the stress, confusion and pain churning inside her. Her yell startled several birds, sending them flying from their tree and across the cloudless sky. Evening Dream looked up and stamped her foot in disapproval before resuming her drink.
Raven brushed hair out of her face and was surprised to discover moisture on her cheeks. Sinking to the ground, she began to sob in earnest. She wasn’t exactly sure why she was crying, but she knew part of her sorrow had to do with the time she’d lost. Ten long years had come and gone and she’d been so consumed with fear and worry and undying hope for Donovan’s return that she’d barely experienced any of them. Life had passed her by.
She loved her son and did everything in her power to be a good mother to him. The first couple of years had been especially trying and she was honest enough to know she’d been a basket case and not the parent Elias had needed. Fortunately her mother and father had filled the gap, giving their grandson all the love and attention he’d needed. Her parents had constantly urged her to stop wandering around like a ghost and give Elias her full attention. She hadn’t had the strength. It wasn’t until she’d heard Elias call her mother “Mommy” that Raven had begun to focus on her son.
But when the night came and Elias was safely asleep, she’d let her mind wander down the road to the secret place in her heart where Donovan lived. In the quiet midnight hour, she’d write letters to him that she knew he would never get. She’d done that every night until two days ago when she’d realized that to go forward she needed to put the past behind her. She was engaged to a good man who deserved all of her heart.
And now Donovan was back. She couldn’t allow him to consume her life again. It was clear now that she’d loved him more than he’d loved her. Apparently he’d said goodbye to her years ago. Well now she’d said goodbye. She was engaged to another man and getting married in four weeks. Donovan might be back in town but he was out of her life. He was part of her past and that was where she intended for him to stay.
Chapter Four (#ub1b7a1a1-5190-5079-b93f-591c63c7310f)
“I think I’ll sit outside for a while,” Raven said to her parents, who were sitting in the living room. Following her breakdown in the meadow, Raven had ridden back to the ranch and helped her mother clean up the dinner dishes. She’d expected her mother to ask her about Donovan’s visit, but she hadn’t said a blessed word. Marilyn must have known Raven wasn’t up to talking about it because she’d kept the conversation light.
That extended to the hour before Elias’s bath time, when he’d dominated the conversation, talking about his plans for summer vacation. What he’d conveniently overlooked was that there were two more weeks of school, including final exams. She’d checked his homework and was pleased that he’d gotten all of his math problems correct. She let him read for half an hour before going to sleep each night, so after he selected one of the three books he was reading simultaneously, she’d set the timer for thirty minutes and reminded him to go to sleep when it went off. She’d picked up a stray sock and tossed it into his hamper then joined her parents in the living room.
“Carson not coming over tonight?” her father asked her as she headed outside.
“No. He’s spending the evening with his mother. She’s taking his father’s death really hard.”
“I imagine.”
“And since he’s their only child, she’s leaning on him a lot.”
“He’s a good son and a good man,” Marilyn said. Raven’s mother was Carson’s biggest fan. Raven had no doubt that her mother was hinting she shouldn’t let Donovan ruin her good relationship. Her mother would probably bring it up more directly later.
Raven nodded. “I know.”
“I’ll make a casserole and a cake and drop it off tomorrow,” Marilyn added.
“I’ll go with you.” She’d spoken to Carson a couple of times since his father’s sudden death, but they hadn’t spent much time alone. He and his father hadn’t been close when Carson was growing up, but they’d grown close over the past few years.
Her father picked up the Remote and turned on the television. It was time for his favorite show and his participation in the conversation was done. Her mother put on her glasses and picked up her needlepoint, so Raven considered herself dismissed.
The day had been hot and sticky but now that the sun had set, the weather was pleasant. Raven went out to the porch and sat on the wicker love seat, placing her feet on the wooden chest. She inhaled the sweet night air, trying to rid herself of the day’s tension.
Letting her head fall against the back of the seat, she closed her eyes and allowed her mind to float free. Usually she spent at least part of the evening replaying the events of the day. Not tonight. Today had been emotionally draining and she didn’t want to relive it. Oh, she was happy that Donovan was alive and unhurt. How could she not be? She just wished he’d contacted her years ago if only to tell her that he’d started his life over somewhere else. Without her. That way she wouldn’t have wasted ten years of her life waiting for him to come back to her.
Just thinking of her lost years angered her, although she wasn’t sure whether she was angrier with Donovan or with herself. Her mother had tried to encourage her to move on, but Raven hadn’t been willing to for years. She’d foolishly believed in a love that had only been a mirage. One thing was sure. She was never going to be that stupid again. She’d spend time with Donovan to allow him to establish a relationship with Elias. But there was no way she’d ever let him near her heart again.
Her phone rang and she fished it out of her pocket. One look at the screen and her annoyance flared. Donovan. What could he possibly want? They’d just talked four hours ago. He had gone ten years without speaking to her and now he wouldn’t leave her alone. She briefly considered not answering but her curiosity got the better of her. Besides, he lived close enough that he might just pop over.
“Yes?” she answered. Hello, no matter how curtly spoken, wouldn’t have adequately expressed her irritation.
“Raven?” Donovan’s voice was quiet and deeper than this afternoon. Hearing it now brought back memories of the endless hours they’d spent on the telephone while they’d been dating. Though they’d regularly met at their secret place, they hadn’t been able to get enough of each other and they’d had intimate phone conversations, as well.
She found herself smiling and forced the reminiscence away. Those nightly conversations had meant everything to her but they’d meant nothing to him. She’d do well to remember that. “Were you expecting someone else? This is my number you called.”
He laughed. “True enough. Listen, I hope I’m not bothering you. I was just thinking about things Elias and I can do together.”
“Elias, you and me.”
“Of course. And you. I would never forget about you, Raven.”
She rolled her eyes at how easily the lie slid from his lips. He’d forgotten about her for ten years. “Sure.”
“I never forgot about you, Raven,” he said as though reading her mind.
“You just never had time to call.” She hated how sad she sounded. The last thing she wanted was for him to know how badly he’d hurt her. “Anyway, I’m sure you didn’t call to rehash the past. What can I do for you?”
He was silent. For a minute she thought he might explain why he hadn’t contacted her, but he didn’t. “Elias mentioned a carnival in Sweet Briar. He seemed excited to go, so I thought we could do that. We could have fun and get to know each other gradually.”
“Let me think about it, okay?”
“What did you tell him about me?”
“You were there. You heard every word I said. He didn’t bring you up again and neither did I.”
“I meant about his father. Obviously you didn’t tell him my name.”
“No. I told him that his father loved him and that he had to go away.”
“Anything else?”
“I didn’t know anything else,” she snapped. “I still don’t.”
“Raven.”
“Never mind. I don’t care anymore. It won’t change a thing. What we had is past. We’ve both moved on. I’d prefer not to discuss the past.” Nothing could give her back those years. Talking about it would only make her feel more foolish.
“Okay. For now.”
“No. Not for now. For always. I mean it. If you want to see Elias, you won’t mention the past or give me a bunch of excuses for why you left and didn’t have the courtesy to contact me. Bring it up again and you’ll have to fight me for visitation. Given your prolonged absence, I don’t think any judge will give it to you.” She couldn’t actually be cruel enough to keep father and son apart, but Donovan didn’t know that.
His heavy sigh was his only response.
“I’ll let you know about the carnival,” she finally said.
“Thank you.”
Raven ended the call without saying goodbye. The conversation had unsettled her so she went inside. Perhaps a long soak in the tub would work some magic. If it didn’t, she was in for a long, sleepless night.
Donovan stared at his phone before he put it down. That had gone sideways fast. Raven had actually threatened to keep Elias from him. He didn’t know if she’d meant it, but it hadn’t been worth pushing her to find out. And really, what difference would it make if she knew the reason he’d left? Nothing would change. They would still have spent the past ten years apart. Their love would still have faded until it no longer existed.
Sure, if she knew the truth she might not hate him, but he knew her heart. She was a kind person and couldn’t hold a grudge. If they spent enough time together, they could become friends again. And if the right time came along, he would tell her the truth. But not right now. She was still shaky and trying to figure out things. He was, too. He couldn’t say anything now. But maybe when they were both settled and he was sure it wouldn’t do more harm than good, he’d tell her about Karl Rivers’s threat. In the meantime, he’d have to live with her thinking the worst of him.
Restless, he left his room and went downstairs. His parents were sitting on the rockers on the front porch, the way they always had on nice nights. It was comforting to know that some things hadn’t changed. The tragedy of his disappearance and presumed death hadn’t torn them apart. They loved each other as much as ever. Now that the threat had been permanently removed and he was no longer in danger, he hoped to find someone to love for a lifetime, too.
Once he’d thought he’d found that with Raven, but he’d been wrong. Their time had passed. Perhaps if he’d lived there for the past ten years, they would have stayed in love. Naturally they’d have gotten married because of the baby. A child deserved both parents. He’d loved Raven and had planned to marry her when they were older, so he wouldn’t have minded moving up the date a few years. Maybe they would have had a happy marriage and added a couple more kids. Or maybe they would have grown to resent each other. Who knew? Still, he wished he had had the chance to find out.
But there was no going back and changing things. Ahead was the only way to go. He’d lost ten years of his life already. He wasn’t going to waste more time wondering what if.
He stepped onto the porch. “I met my son today.”
His parents stopped rocking and looked at him. Though the moon was bright and the sky was filled with stars, he couldn’t make out the expressions on their faces, so he reached inside the door and switched on the porch light.
“Elias?” His father’s voice was soft, filled with guilt.
“Were you going to tell me?”
“Only if Raven didn’t.”
“What? And how long were you going to wait before you said anything?” He didn’t understand how they could keep his son a secret from him.
“We knew you would go see her before long,” his mother said. “You weren’t here a day before you went over there. Ten years away and nothing has changed. She’s still important to you.”
That’s what she thought. Everything had changed. Of course his mother was a hopeless romantic who thought love could survive anything—including a ten-year absence. It wasn’t true, but there was no sense in debating that now.
“Raven took it hard when you left,” Mario continued. “That poor child was a wreck. For a while it looked like we might lose her. When her parents discovered she was pregnant, they told us. To be honest, we weren’t in much better shape than Raven was. We supported her decision to keep the baby, but we weren’t in a position to provide the emotional support she needed. We were barely holding on ourselves.”
“And we were still trying to find you,” Lena added. “When the police stopped looking, we put up fliers and did everything we could think of.”
“Elias doesn’t know you’re his grandparents.”
“No. We love him and see him now and then. We give him Christmas and birthday presents. He thinks of us as his grandparents’ friends.”
“And that’s enough for you?”
Mario nodded. “You don’t realize how bad we were when we couldn’t find you. We were a mess. That child didn’t need us bringing stress to his life.”
Donovan nodded. He understood. Everyone had done the best they could in a difficult situation. He’d suffered a lot when he’d first left home, not knowing if he’d ever return. He’d been young and scared, traveling from place to place, constantly looking over his shoulder. Too cautious to take Karl Rivers at his word, and expecting the man to come after him at any time, it had been years before Donovan had felt comfortable enough to stay in one place. He’d rambled from ranch to ranch, town to town, every few months.
Then he’d met Della and Gabe Turner, owners of an enormous cattle ranch in the middle of Texas. Warm and generous, they treated their ranch hands like family.
After he’d worked on the ranch for a couple of months, Della invited him to have Christmas dinner with her family. He’d turned her down at first, unwilling to get close to anyone. After watching as car after car arrived with people carrying presents, loneliness had gotten the better of him and he’d knocked on her back door. The entire Turner family had welcomed him into the fold. Two of Della and Gabe’s sons were near his age and had come home from college for winter break. They’d hit it off. Being around Dustin and Austin had brought back memories of hanging out with Jericho, Tony and Billy.
That day marked a change in Donovan. While other employers had been willing to allow Donovan to keep to himself, the Turners hadn’t.
Not that they’d forced him to become a part of their family. They hadn’t. Instead they’d seeded the ground with breadcrumbs of kindness. Tired of being alone, he’d followed the trail and found a welcoming family.
With the sons away from the ranch, Donovan had been entrusted with the role of big brother to fifteen-year-old Amelia. As expected, she’d resisted. Once he’d convinced her that he didn’t intend to invade her privacy, they’d become friends. He’d often driven her to town to hang out with her friends. If he happened to stick around longer than she would have preferred, well he was okay with that. The Turners had been good to him and he intended to repay them in the best way he knew—by protecting Amelia.
One night he’d actually had to step in when Amelia’s date had gotten aggressive, refusing to take no for an answer. When Donovan had seen the way Amelia had tried to hold her torn blouse together, he’d come near to losing control. But Amelia’s need for comfort had outweighed his need for revenge.
After that night, he and Amelia had shared a special bond. Their relationship had truly become like siblings. Just as he’d taken his job of protective big brother seriously, she’d taken the role of pesky little sister to heart. She’d decided that he needed a girlfriend and made it her life’s mission to find him one. She was constantly introducing him to her friends’ female relatives or even women she had just met. Although Donovan had found some of them attractive, he’d guarded his heart, never let any of them get close to him.
Leaving Raven behind had broken him. He would never let himself love that way again. His life had become transitory and his stay on the Turners’ ranch while good, was temporary. He wouldn’t subject himself or anyone else to the pain that would come when he left. Looking back, he’d been right not to become involved with anyone. He wouldn’t be returning to Texas. He had a son and he’d never leave Elias behind.
“I understand. But eventually I want to tell Elias that I’m his father. I intend to be a part of his life.”
His parents exchanged a look. “Did Raven say anything else?”
“No. We’re still finding our way. Eventually we’ll work out everything. When that happens, Elias will know that you’re his grandparents. Are you ready for that?”
His mother smiled. “Absolutely.”
“Good.”
Donovan was finally getting his life and family together. It wasn’t the way he’d pictured it years ago, but it still could be good.
Chapter Five (#ub1b7a1a1-5190-5079-b93f-591c63c7310f)
Raven stood beside her fiancé, thanking the many guests who had showed up to pay their respects to Karl Rivers. Raven hadn’t known the older man very well—she’d caught him looking at her oddly on more than one occasion and she’d never felt entirely comfortable in his presence—but she felt it was her duty to stand by Carson in his hour of need. He’d been there for her when she’d needed him. Though her parents had supported her during her pregnancy and helped her raise Elias, Carson’s friendship had been invaluable.
Carson had been a bit of a nerd in school and despite his father’s money and influence, or perhaps because of it, he’d been targeted by bullies. Donovan had taken it upon himself to protect Carson, letting everyone know that if they messed with Carson they would answer to him. He’d never spelled out what would happen if anyone bothered Carson, but he hadn’t had to. Donovan had been the most popular kid in school and no one wanted to risk being on the outs with him, so the bullying had stopped.
When Donovan disappeared, Carson began to come around. He’d spent time with her and Elias, being the friend she’d needed. He’d accompanied her whenever she’d chased a lead that she hoped would help her find Donovan, and he’d held her as she’d cried when the information didn’t pan out. But most of all he’d been a good, supportive friend. No matter how often she told the story of how she and Donovan fell in love, or the times they’d spent riding or fishing or doing nothing, he listened. He’d never once told her she needed to put the past behind her.
She’d been surprised when he’d gotten her a diamond engagement ring and proposed in front of Elias and her parents last Christmas. Her mother had clapped her hands in delight but her father hadn’t said a word. Elias had been too busy studying the titles of his new treasure trove of books to pay much attention to what the adults were doing. Her first thought had been of Donovan and how they’d planned to get married one day. She’d then reminded herself that Donovan was gone and she needed to move on. Who better to do that with than her trusted friend? She wasn’t in love with him, but he’d been confident that they’d make each other happy. So she’d said yes.
“I need a break,” Carson whispered, pulling her out of her musing.
“Of course.” Most of the people had eaten and left already. The last few stragglers probably needed a nudge from the minister to leave.
They wandered outside to the covered patio and walked across the manicured grounds until they found a quiet corner. “I don’t understand the need to hang around after a funeral. Didn’t it occur to anyone that my mother and I would like some time alone?”
“I think they mean well.”
Carson shrugged and blew out a breath. He looked tired and sad. Raven didn’t expect that he’d slept much these past few days.
“Where is your mother?”
“She has a headache so she went to her room to lie down. I guess that wasn’t a big enough hint.”
“They don’t mean to be rude. They probably think their presence is comforting to you. If you want, I can get the pastor to make an announcement letting everyone know you appreciate their kindness but that you and your mother want to be alone.”
“Maybe later.” He stared over her shoulder for so long that she turned and looked. There was no one there.
“Are you okay?”
“I think we should move up the wedding.”
“What? Why?”
“It’s not like it’s going to be a big ceremony.”
“True.” He’d initially wanted a big wedding and reception but she’d balked. She wanted something simple, just family and very close friends. “But we’ve already set the date.”
“It was just a thought.”
He sounded put out but she let it pass. He’d buried his father a few hours ago so she was willing to make a few allowances.
“I heard that Donovan is back in town.”
She stiffened. Of course he’d found out. The community was small and word traveled fast. A story this fantastic was bound to make the rounds in double time. Even though they’d never discovered why he’d vanished, everyone had hoped and prayed for his return.
So sure enough, when Donovan had returned alive and well, people had been overjoyed. The love the ranchers and townspeople had for him hadn’t faded. Still, with everything that had been going on in Carson’s life, she was surprised he’d heard. “Yes. He came back two days ago.”
“And you didn’t tell me?”
“Your father had just died. I didn’t think you would be concerned about Donovan.”
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