The Sergeant's Temptation
Sophia Sasson
Is he protecting her from the enemy…or himself?Sergeant Alessa Parrino is one of the toughest soldiers in her unit. But does she have what it takes to fight her growing attraction to Lieutenant Luke Williams…her CO? If she falls for a superior officer, her career is over. And the Army is all she’s got. Working closely with Luke on a covert mission overseas isn’t helping. His caring, compassion and piercing blue eyes are weakening her resolve by the hour. But this is Alessa's last chance to prove herself and earn the promotion she desperately needs. She can’t let his charms distract her from her goals, no matter how much she longs to let down her guard…
Is he protecting her from the enemy...or himself?
Sergeant Alessa Parrino is one of the toughest soldiers in her unit. But does she have what it takes to fight her growing attraction to Lieutenant Luke Williams, her CO? If she falls for a superior officer, her career is over. And the army is all she’s got. Working closely with Luke on a covert mission overseas isn’t helping. His caring, compassion and piercing blue eyes are weakening her resolve by the hour. But this is Alessa’s last chance to prove herself and earn the promotion she desperately needs. She can’t let his charms distract her from her goals, no matter how much she longs to let down her guard...
A cold dread seeped into Alessa’s bones.
This was how it had started with Aidan. Personal favors that seemed innocuous, part of the job, even. But the mistake she’d made with Aidan was that she’d let him get too close. Forgotten the fact that she was an enlisted soldier and he was a commissioned officer, which meant they couldn’t even be friends. She wouldn’t do that with Luke.
Luke stood and she followed suit, getting ready to salute him the way she would any other superior officer. But he extended his hand and she automatically took it.
“We wear civilian clothes in this unit. No saluting. From now on, we’re colleagues, perhaps even friends.”
She looked into his ocean-blue eyes. I can’t be friends with you. That would be dangerous. Her career couldn’t withstand one more rumor of an improper relationship with a superior officer.
Dear Reader (#u3ef489b5-224b-5df6-b3c9-d6bb9008aabb),
There are no words to describe the extraordinary sacrifice given by those who serve in the armed forces. It’s not just the physical danger they face on our behalf, but the considerable sacrifice of their families and loved ones. This book is about the tough choices service members often face in their personal lives. While workplace romance is mainstream for most people, it is not for military personnel. For good reason, relationships during active duty are off-limits for soldiers, who can face serious consequences for falling in love with the wrong person.
This book is also about the heroines of the military. I know a lot of tough women. As a former paramedic, I appreciate how difficult it can be for a woman in a male-dominated field, and the crushing pressure to constantly prove that you can do the job well. Alessa Parrino is in the impossible situation of choosing between the one thing she’s needed all her life (love) and the only thing she’s ever had (the army).
I hope you enjoy Alessa’s journey; it’s one that many of us face when choosing between what our hearts desire and what our circumstances allow.
To get free book extras, visit my website, sophiasasson.com (http://www.sophiasasson.com). I love hearing from readers, so please find me on Twitter (@SophiaSasson (https://twitter.com/sophiasasson?lang=en)) or Facebook (SophiaSassonAuthor (https://www.facebook.com/AuthorSophiaSasson)) or email me at readers@sophiasasson.com.
Enjoy!
Sophia Sasson
The Sergeant’s Temptation
Sophia Sasson
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
SOPHIA SASSON puts her childhood habit of daydreaming to good use by writing stories she hopes will give you hope and make you laugh, cry and possibly snort tea from your nose. She was born in Bombay, India, and has lived in the Canary Islands, Spain and Toronto, Canada. Currently she calls the madness of Washington, DC, home. She’s the author of the Welcome to Bellhaven and the State of the Union series. She loves to read, travel to exotic locations in the name of research, bake, explore water sports and watch foreign movies. Hearing from readers makes her day. Contact her through sophiasasson.com (http://www.sophiasasson.com).
To those who serve our country in the military. Words cannot express the gratitude we owe you.
Acknowledgments (#u3ef489b5-224b-5df6-b3c9-d6bb9008aabb)
This book, and the entire State of the Union series, would not happen without my awesome editor Claire Caldwell. Thank you for our brainstorming sessions.
A huge thank-you to my husband, who puts up with me disappearing into the writing abyss. And my critique partner, Jayne Evans, who deals with my writing crises.
Most of all, thank you to my readers. Your reviews, emails and letters keep me writing.
Contents
Cover (#uca2f7bba-1a69-5a48-9964-4bec9a4c27c7)
Back Cover Text (#u2d33c424-91d8-571a-9496-860a16bc54f8)
Introduction (#u325c037a-6b2c-5121-8d53-b87ac5decc5f)
Dear Reader (#u5532cb89-ad1d-5666-b09e-5c1e2872822a)
Title Page (#u083725e4-4909-5883-a0f3-a7eec9467de6)
About the Author (#u4ea75212-41b0-5e66-856a-3362ca276b37)
Acknowledgments (#ud6e561c3-96bd-518c-ad9d-ae3ae493e03d)
CHAPTER ONE (#u8c5eff93-450e-5609-a0f1-e5f8c8feec5d)
CHAPTER TWO (#u5d7e9c72-98a2-560d-8674-d07eb7ab0d8d)
CHAPTER THREE (#u5867639e-3053-5616-9f34-3e3908875ed5)
CHAPTER FOUR (#u382b3e61-4c62-5151-860f-e88751f46e50)
CHAPTER FIVE (#uf00ff3c2-c1bb-538e-869e-2b707d1cc010)
CHAPTER SIX (#u10ebbf5c-a9dc-556b-82c2-39c0fd398970)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#uc7352e37-c90c-569e-addd-58571b315227)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FOURTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIFTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIXTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINETEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER THIRTY (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#u3ef489b5-224b-5df6-b3c9-d6bb9008aabb)
“I’LL TAKE HER.”
Luke Williams couldn’t get his eyes off the petite soldier who was fighting a man more than twice her size. It was better than any mixed martial arts match he’d ever seen on TV. He was standing outside the Plexiglas window of a ten-foot by ten-foot cube that had been designed to train soldiers in hand-to-hand combat. Except Sergeant Alessa Parrino didn’t need any training; she was literally kicking his best man to the floor. This one wasn’t made from the typical army mold.
“Oh, no you won’t, Lieutenant.”
Luke turned to his commanding officer, Colonel Michael McBride. “I thought the last unit member was my call.”
“It is. You’re just not hiring her.”
Luke bit the inside of his cheek, keeping his voice neutral and friendly. “You have a concern, sir?”
The colonel raised his bushy gray eyebrows. “Have you read her file?”
Luke knew why the colonel was asking if Luke really wanted Alessa Parrino for his unit.
“Why did you let her apply and go through the test?”
“So I could check the box that we gave equal opportunity for this unit. You know how it is these days.”
“A woman could be an asset for us.” Luke said evenly. He’d worked with McBride long enough to realize the old man still wasn’t used to the idea that the army was letting women into special ops.
“I don’t see how. You get injured on the field, that hundred-and-thirty-pound girl isn’t gonna carry your two hundred and twenty pounds to safety.”
Luke watched Parrino extend her hand to the fallen soldier to help him up. Bad move. Rodgers was one of his dirtiest fighters; that was why Luke had used him for this exercise. All the other unit members had been handpicked by Luke’s predecessor. Luke wanted the open position to be filled by someone of his choosing, a member who would be loyal to him. He needed someone on the inside to help him with what he planned.
Rodgers took Parrino’s hand and predictably used her weaker position to pull downward while sliding his leg across the floor to kick her legs out from under her. Classic. Can’t believe she fell for it.
“Don’t go easy on her ’cause she’s a girl,” the colonel hooted even though the sparring soldiers couldn’t hear him through the cube.
Luke resisted the urge to make a smart-aleck comment. He was on thin ice as it was. Parrino jumped a millisecond before Rodgers’s leg would have connected and used the downward momentum her rival had created to bend her arm and bring her elbow down on the other soldier’s solar plexus.
Nice!
Both Luke and Colonel McBride flinched at the look of sheer agony on Rodgers’s face.
Luke slapped the Plexiglas wall, opening the door. “All right, Parrino, you’re done.” The last thing he needed was for one of his men to end up in the hospital. The unit was less than a month away from being fully operational. That meant he’d get to take his men and fly to an undisclosed location, far away from Colonel Pain-in-the-Neck, who would stay here at Fort Belvoir in Virginia, kissing up to the Pentagon.
Parrino released her grip on the soldier’s throat and stood. Her eyes still alert for another attack, she walked toward Luke and stepped outside. She stood in front of Luke and the colonel and saluted. Barely five foot four, Parrino had short dark hair pulled neatly into a ponytail, golden-brown eyes and cream-colored skin tinged pink around her cheeks and nose. Her breathing was even and her expression relaxed. A shiny forehead was the only indication that she’d broken a sweat.
“Well done, Parrino.” Luke acknowledged.
She nodded curtly. They stared at her, and to her credit, her face remained impassive, back straight with a stance worthy of a recruitment poster. Luke tilted his head toward his office. “Wait there.” He didn’t offer her water or a chance to go to the bathroom; he needed to see her mettle.
“Rodgers, you’re done. Go get cleaned up.” The man would never live down this exercise. It was the first one he’d lost, but the unit members wouldn’t let him forget the fact that he’d been taken down by a woman half his size.
As soon as Rodgers was out of earshot, the colonel placed a hand on Luke’s shoulder. He wanted more than anything to smack it away. “Williams, I think it’s a bad idea to take the girl. She’s trouble with a capital T.”
“Parrino’s the only qualified candidate I’ve seen.”
“What you talkin’ about? There’s a stack of good soldiers on your desk.”
Luke had gone through all the applications in the folders on his desk and auditioned ten other guys, all of whom Rodgers had wiped out. The colonel knew this; he’d been there for every test. Not that he was micromanaging Luke. No, the colonel was there to “lend support.” Luke was supposed to have the authority to hire whomever he wanted. Technically.
That was the point of this unit, Ethan’s brainchild. Luke’s twin brother had convinced the brass that the only way to deal with their current problem was to create a nimble unit that could operate without the usual hierarchy. Each of the unit members had been hired for a particular skill set and they worked as a team, regardless of their army rank. The whole idea was not to work the usual way, so their moves wouldn’t be predictable. None of the soldiers who had been handpicked by Ethan had known each other, served together or had any commanding officers in common. They were a good group of men. But they were his brother’s men.
“Sir, we need a woman on the team. Men and women are regularly separated in the Sandbox, and I don’t want to be in a situation where we don’t have eyes where we need them.”
“Have you thought about the influence she’ll have on your men, your unit?” He motioned toward Rodgers, who was staring at Parrino through the glass doors of Luke’s office.
Luke raised a brow, though he understood full well where the colonel was going. “Oh, I’ll tell them I told Rodgers to go easy on her so they don’t give him a hard time.” It was a cheeky comment, but the colonel took it at face value.
“That’s not what I mean. Unit cohesion is everything, and given her history, I worry she’ll be a distraction. She has trouble with boundaries.”
Look who’s talking. The only boundaries McBride respected were the ones that suited him.
Luke resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He didn’t have a good grasp on how to manage the colonel. How would Ethan handle this? Now more than ever he wished he’d kept in touch with his twin brother. They’d been inseparable until they graduated West Point. A rift had grown between them after they both began active duty. The last few times they’d spoken, it had been to argue over Luke leaving the army. Ethan had taken command of this unit a year ago, but Luke had hardly paid attention. He’d been too focused on getting out. The news of Ethan’s death four months ago changed everything.
“Sir, no one knows for sure what happened, and she wasn’t disciplined.”
“Yeah, but her commanding officer still had to face an Article 134. That man will never get promoted. All it takes is the hint of impropriety between a soldier and a commanding officer, and you...” The colonel wiggled his eyebrows and pinned Luke with steel-gray eyes. “Son, I have great respect for your father—we’ve served in combat together—but I have to say that given your reputation, I wasn’t entirely comfortable giving you command of this unit.”
That’s a shocker. The uptight colonel was as old-school as they came, and Luke was far from a model officer. But McBride also wanted to get his first star, and going up against Luke’s four-star general father was not the way to do that. That said, Luke was on a short leash. He had command of the unit on a trial basis. A big screwup and he was out.
That couldn’t happen.
Luke gave him a hard look. “Sir, this unit meant a lot to my brother, and I plan to make it a success. For his sake.”
“Then I suggest you think carefully. This is your first major decision as unit commander. Pick your battles. Would your brother have wanted her?”
Luke didn’t have to think about what Ethan would’ve done. There was a reason why his brother had made captain while Luke was still first lieutenant. Luke hadn’t earned command of this unit. His father had pulled some strings, and if he hadn’t, Luke would be the last man in contention for the job. The colonel knew it, and so did Luke’s men. Every decision he made would be judged, and he would be blamed if anything went south.
“Sir, I know my reputation precedes me as well, which is why I’m more willing to give Sergeant Parrino a chance. The army has a way of blowing rumors out of proportion.”
“All rumors have a basis. Now, you’re a smart boy—” the colonel drawled “—you know what’s at stake here.” He patted Luke’s shoulder in a fatherly gesture that was anything but. “I’ll leave it with you. I’m sure you’ll make the right choice.”
As soon as I know what the right choice is.
“Yes, sir.” The colonel walked away and Luke was left starting after him. He didn’t need to be reminded of the stakes. The army was Ethan and his father’s thing. Not his. He hadn’t cared about climbing the ladder. He was supposed to be out by now, starting a new life. Then Ethan had died. Well-known for his shenanigans, Luke would have to work twice as hard to prove he was capable of commanding the unit. Without it, he had no chance of finding out what really happened to his brother.
* * *
ALESSA TOOK SEVERAL deep breaths so she’d be prepared to be neutral and deferential when Luke Williams—excuse me, Lieutenant Williams—returned to tell her she couldn’t have the job. She’d seen it all over the old colonel’s face when she’d pinned her opponent to the ground. He wasn’t the first officer to give her that look of disbelief and disgust. She was a woman; how dare she show herself to be stronger and more capable than a man? It was just as well. The unit was a long shot. She’d known that coming in.
The wall clock told her she’d been waiting for well over an hour. She shifted on her feet, trying not to think about the fact that her bladder was about to explode. Forty-eight hours ago, she’d been handed papers saying she would ship out in twenty-four hours with no explanation as to where she was going. Yesterday she’d boarded a military transport and it wasn’t until she’d been delivered to Fort Belvoir close to midnight that she’d been told to be ready to demonstrate her competence for the unit commander. She’d submitted her application six months ago and hadn’t heard anything.
Her “assessment” for this job had started this morning with a five-mile run, followed by a tactical exercise requiring her to focus and stay quick on her feet, and then the close-combat fight. It had been seven hours since she’d been given the opportunity to use the bathroom.
She catalogued everything in the office, trying to paint her own picture of Lieutenant Williams. It was hard not to remember everything she’d heard about the man, but she knew firsthand that talk did not equate to reality. There wasn’t much to see, however. The office was as generic as a grocery store aisle. Standard-issue desk, a common computer and cheap ballpoint pens. There was a bottle of water beside the guest chair. Tempting, but Alessa guessed it was part of the test. Having spent more than her fair share of time in the desert, she knew how to deal with thirst.
“Sergeant Parrino.”
She moved to stand at attention.
“At ease, soldier. Have a seat.”
He took a seat across from her, and she allowed herself to get her first good look at him. She’d seen his picture in the post newspaper, standing next to the general when the story about his brother broke. His eyes had drawn her in; they were so intense, so full of determination. They weren’t the eyes of the entitled, carefree playboy she’d heard about.
“Tell me why you want to be a part of this unit.”
Because I need to get away from my current post before I destroy more lives.
“I want the opportunity to serve, sir.”
“What exactly do you know about this unit, Sergeant?”
“Not much. Just that it’s highly irregular because it’s special ops but isn’t using Delta or other Special Forces. In fact, they were purposely excluded.”
He raised a brow and she suppressed a smile. She had done her homework, called in every favor she had to get information on both the unit and the man running it.
“Glad you know the difference between special ops and Special Forces. I’m aware that you tried out for Delta—this won’t be your ticket in.”
Forcing herself to sit still, she met his gaze. “I’m aware of that, sir. Having been through SFAS, I’m familiar with the process.” Special Forces Assessment and Selection was the pathway to Delta and other Special Forces, and she had been hoping this unit might be a way in. She leaned forward. He was gearing up to tell her she hadn’t made the cut.
“Sir, when I went through SFAS, I passed the physical portion of the test with a perfect score. I was disqualified because I’d been a sergeant for five years and two days.”
He pressed his lips together and hope bloomed in her chest. It was a silly rule, that five years in the same position disqualified someone from Special Forces. She should’ve been promoted two years ago, but after the incident, there had always been an excuse for why she wasn’t fit to be upgraded to staff sergeant. Next year, Parrino. Let some time pass. This unit was the only way she would get herself out of the career hole she’d dug herself into.
“I’m thirty-five years old and the upper limit for Special Forces is thirty-six. I am special ops material, and this is my only chance at it.” Staring at him, she silently challenged him to disagree. She’d bet a month’s pay that the guy she’d just fought was the best of the unit. He had been good, and there were a few times where he’d almost had her. Almost. It had been a while since she’d had to bring up the image of her father to get the better of a man in a physical fight, but she’d done it. She’d had to. Alessa Parrino didn’t get second chances.
He sat back in his seat and his eyes flicked to a folder on his desk. She knew what was in that file and could see his gears churning. Part of her training was to get into her opponent’s head, and she was sure Luke Williams was weighing the risk of bringing her baggage into his unit.
She placed her elbows on the desk. “Sir, have you ever done the right thing even when it was against the rules?” She knew the answer to that question. Luke was notorious in the army circles. A general father and an identical twin brother with a stellar reputation while his was less than perfect was fodder for gossip. He was the evil twin, the one tarnishing his father’s reputation.
She had served with his brother when she was a private first class and Ethan Williams was a second lieutenant. Officers and enlisted didn’t mix, but she always took stock of the commanding officers on post and her assessment of Ethan Williams was that he was a rising star. His good looks had been hard to ignore and the fact that he had an identical twin who was an outrageous flirt had been a common source of discussion in the female barracks. As had Luke Williams’s penchant for bending the rules. She had done so much research, she felt she knew him personally. Remember he’s a superior officer. The last thing she needed was to get friendly with him.
“Sergeant, I get the feeling you’ve done your homework on me, and you know full well what’s in your file. So how about you give me some facts I haven’t already read about.”
She dug her fingernails into her palms. “Sir, I have nothing to hide. What would you like to know?”
“Your file doesn’t have much on your childhood. Tell me about your parents.”
She swallowed, trying to open her closed throat. She didn’t have to answer any of his questions. It was none of his business what her childhood was like. It wasn’t any of the army’s business.
“My parents were Italian immigrants—they came over newly married. I have a younger sister. Just a typical family.” Somehow she’d managed to make her voice sound normal. Maybe it was the years of practice with that line.
He narrowed his eyes. “How often do you see them?”
She forced herself to meet his eyes. Most people tried to control the pitch of their voice when they lied, but it was shifting eyes that gave them away. “As often as I can.” It was best to go with half-truths.
“When was the last time?” His startling blue eyes bored into her and she blinked. When she’d first seen his picture, she’d found herself unable to look away. In person she wanted nothing more than to avoid eye contact.
“Sir, I’m the most qualified person for this position, and if you’re hesitating because of what’s in that file, let me assure you—”
“Sergeant, I’m going to give you some advice.”
She closed her mouth, making a concerted effort to keep her expression neutral. Ever since the incident, every commissioned officer she’d met had felt the need to lecture her on appropriate behavior, as if she were a truant toddler. Never mind the fact that she’d already been in more combat than most West Point graduates would ever see. She composed herself so she wouldn’t gag when Luke gave her the tired old speech about how she could have an illustrious career if she kept her nose clean and made sure she didn’t engage in any more inappropriate behavior with a superior officer.
“If you haven’t done anything wrong, don’t sound apologetic.”
This is new. She sat up straighter.
“If there’s nothing concerning in my file, then why aren’t you selecting me?”
He raised a brow, his blue eyes sparking with a hint of gray. “I haven’t said that I’m not.”
Her pulse kicked up a notch until she saw his Adam’s apple bob. The job wasn’t hers. Not yet.
“Let me tell you why I’m right for this position.”
His lips twitched.
“First, I just beat the best man on your unit. Second, if you’re going to operate in the Middle East or Asia, you’ll need a woman to get into places men can’t. And third, I’m smaller than everyone else in your unit. I can get into tight places, like a duct, a crawlspace or a vent. You need me.”
“You missed something.”
She leaned forward. He picked up her file and waved it. “You’ve beat every single one of my men in the aptitude tests.”
That little fact she hadn’t known but would store away for later. He stood and she followed suit. He extended his hand and she was surprised to find it callused. From what she’d heard, she’d expected a man used to giving orders, not doing the hard work himself.
“Sergeant, you are the most qualified for this unit...”
She tried hard not to smile. Finally, an officer who wasn’t afraid of her reputation, who was going to do the right thing and give her what she rightfully deserved.
“...but I can’t give you the job.”
CHAPTER TWO (#u3ef489b5-224b-5df6-b3c9-d6bb9008aabb)
HER MOUTH DROPPED open and Luke couldn’t help but smirk. Sergeant Parrino was cool as a cucumber. This was the first genuine expression he’d seen on her face. She wanted this. Bad. And she deserved to have it. It sickened him to give in to the old colonel, but he didn’t have a choice. They were so close to shipping out on their first assignment. Rodgers was already working on the logistics. No matter how much he wanted to give her a proper position, he couldn’t defy the colonel. As loath as Luke was to admit it, he was being watched and needed to appease the brass if he wanted to keep command of the unit. Right now, he had to focus on preparing for the mission.
Wait...
“Sergeant, before you go, what’re your current duties?”
If she was surprised at the non sequitur, she didn’t show it. She explained the work she was doing in Kuwait and an idea formed in his head. A win-win for both of them.
“There’s another opening on the unit.”
Her eyes widened with expectation.
“Logistics.”
Predictably, her face fell. But before she could tell him that wasn’t the job she’d applied for, he motioned her back toward the chair.
“I know it’s not what you want, but hear me out. Take a seat.”
She sat, her face already recomposed into a blank expression. Unflappable. There weren’t many individuals he would describe that way since he was an expert at pushing people’s buttons. The assessment had been designed by Ethan and when Luke had first read the protocol, he’d lamented his brother’s sadistic nature. It required twenty-four hours of travel the day before the in-person tests. When Rodgers had been selected, he’d been located three hours away, but Ethan had put him on a plane and sent him to California and back twice. Ethan’s rationale had been characteristically thoughtful: after all, they might be forced to fly to the other side of the world and hit the ground running. He’d wanted soldiers who could handle it, and Luke couldn’t disagree with that. Parrino was the first soldier Luke had found standing in his office at the end of the day. The rest of them had been plopped into the seat gulping water.
“The position is going to be more than logistics. I can’t give you the details yet, but trust me on this.”
She blinked at him with a maddeningly blank look.
“What do you mean by more than logistics? Are you going to have me spy inside the team?”
Add “perceptive” to the list of qualifications. He tilted his head. “I wouldn’t put it that way. There’s work to do where information needs to be compartmentalized, and I need someone I can trust.” It was a nicer way of saying “off the books.”
“But if my official designation is logistics, it does nothing to get me promoted. In fact, most will see it as a step backward, like I’m being punished.”
“Initially, yes, but at the end of your tour with this unit, I will reveal the true nature of the assignment. Barring any performance issues, I will recommend you for promotion.” Provided Colonel Blowhard keeps me on as unit command.
“And what if something happens to you?”
What if I die like Ethan? She didn’t have to say it out loud. He was all too aware of the risks. Then it occurred to him: he’d be putting her life in danger, too. He shook it off. She was a soldier, she had signed up to take risks, and he’d give her a full briefing. If she wanted out at that point, he’d let her go.
She won’t want out. He could see it in her eyes despite her bland expression. She was looking for adventure, a way to fill whatever hole there was in her life.
“As unit command, there are any number of things that only I’m privy to. There are files my commanding officer will receive should something happen to me. Details of your operations will be in those files.”
“They’ll be the first ones Colonel McBride burns.”
Luke couldn’t help but smile. He and Sergeant Parrino were going to get along well. She had no history with the colonel, but she’d gotten a good measure of the man in just a few minutes. That’s what he needed, someone with judgment who could take care of herself.
“That’s a risk you’ll have to accept. Look, what do you have to lose? Besides, part of your job will be to keep me safe, so how about we call it added incentive?”
Her brow went up slightly and he swore a smile was tugging on the corners of her mouth.
“What’s the assignment?”
“Not so fast. To become a member of the unit, you need to sign some additional confidentiality agreements. These are beyond the army standard. I need to let you know that it’s serious business. If you talk in your sleep and your boyfriend gets details of our missions, you won’t be court-martialed and put through the ringer—big, bad men will come in the middle of the night and ship you straight to Gitmo.”
She reached out and plucked one of the pens from the holder on his desk. Clicking it, she tilted her chin. “I don’t talk in my sleep and I don’t have a boyfriend. I’ve faced worse than Gitmo. Where do I sign?”
What horrors are you hiding in your past? He wanted to know more, but she’d told him all she would for now. Turning to the computer, he pulled up the paperwork. Several minutes later, he plucked the forms off the printer and handed them to her.
“I suggest you read these carefully. There’s a bathroom behind that door if you need it.” He was done testing her. She was the toughest soldier he knew, but there was something about her that was bothering him, and he couldn’t place his finger on it.
He stopped at the door. “Parrino, I don’t care about what’s in your file. But this is the kind of assignment that needs complete focus. No distractions. Before you transfer over, I’m going to require you to take a one-week leave. You can have more if you need it. In that time, you deal with whatever ghosts you have in your past. Once the unit is operational, you’re totally mine.”
* * *
ALESSA TOOK A breath after he left. It was hard to remain calm when he looked at her with those intense blue eyes.
She signed the papers in less than five minutes. She read them quickly, but it didn’t matter what they said. Her life already belonged to the army. There were no other options for her. She didn’t have a college degree, had enlisted the day she graduated from high school, so she wouldn’t have to spend another day at home. This unit was the only way to make sure she didn’t get squeezed out.
Expecting Lieutenant Williams back any second, she used the restroom and took a long drink of water from the faucet. She washed her face and used a paper towel to dry it. The physical exertion she’d gone through was nothing compared to the sheer relief of not having to return to Kuwait. The papers she’d signed said her transfer was effective immediately. Maybe with her gone, Aidan Connors could finally move on with his life. After the incident, she’d thought things would die down in a few months and both of them could forget about it. But that hadn’t happened. They were based at Camp Arifjan in Kuwait. It was a relatively small installation with no life off the camp. The story had lingered on, grown additional arms and legs and wrapped around her and Aidan until neither one of them could escape it. She’d been warned about Williams and could see why. He had a way of pulling you in, making you feel like he was on your side. Just like Aidan.
Returning to her seat, she waited, curious to hear what secret stuff Williams had for her. Truth be told, she would’ve taken the logistics job even without the added intrigue. Since the incident, she’d been relegated to desk assignments that included mounds of paperwork. She’d lost track of how many transfers she’d applied for and been denied.
The lieutenant returned with two steaming cups of coffee in his hand. He placed one in front of her and pushed the bottle of water toward her. She picked up the coffee, eager for the caffeine.
“Before we get started, I need to know everything about you.”
Keeping her face neutral, she spread her hands. “I don’t think there’s anything the army doesn’t know about me. My file even documents the birthmark I have on my hip.”
“It also documents bones that you broke as a child.”
Her mouth went dry but she nodded, smiling disarmingly.
“It’s a lot of bones for a little girl to break” he said carefully.
“What can I say; I was always a tomboy.”
But Luke wasn’t buying it. Brows knotted, he leaned forward. “I need to know who did it to you.” His voice was hard and Alessa took a sip of her coffee, letting it burn down her throat, trying to loosen the frog lodged in it. There was only one other person she’d told. After years of serving together and becoming good friends. And that didn’t turn out so well. She hardly knew Williams. Could she trust him?
“This is just between us—it doesn’t go in the file. In order for this job to work, we need to trust each other. Right now, I need to know you can tell me the truth and you need to believe that the information won’t end up in your file.”
She searched his eyes for signs of malice but all he gave her was an intense, serious look that was completely inconsistent with his golden-blond hair and Ken-doll handsomeness.
“If you can’t trust me, this won’t work.”
She needed this transfer. I just have to say enough to appease him. But then she made the mistake of looking at him, and something told her she wouldn’t get away with a lie. “My father. He was a drunk and a hitter.”
He nodded as if it was the answer he expected. For a second, Alessa wondered whether he’d already known and was still testing her. He took a sip of his coffee and she noticed that his other hand was clenched in a fist.
“When did he stop hitting you?” His voice held the slight tremble of suppressed anger and Alessa’s heart warmed. When she’d told Aidan, he had been sympathetic and coddling. It hadn’t been the response she’d wanted.
“When I started hitting him back.”
“That’s why you got a black belt in karate.”
“And tae kwon do.”
“Is the rest of your family safe?”
It was the first time someone had asked the question and Alessa wasn’t sure how to answer. More than anything she wished it could be a simple yes. “My sister is. She’s finally decided to go to law school. I’m paying her way as much as I can so she doesn’t have to move home. My mother refuses to leave. I’ve tried to get her out.” That was the simplest response she could give.
“Would you like to pay your father a visit?”
The menace in his voice was oddly comforting, and she longed to tell him that was exactly what she wanted. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t thought about it herself, but it wasn’t her place to save her mother. She had tried several times, given her mother all the resources she needed to get out, but the woman refused. She was a devout Catholic and didn’t want to leave her husband. Alessa was tired of going home and cataloguing new bruises. It had been a year since she’d seen her mother. Five since she’d laid eyes on her father. He was getting older and weaker. That’s what her mother said, anyway, but his heart was just as dark.
Shaking her head, she locked eyes with him. “My family has been messed up for a long time. It’s not a new issue for me. I don’t need to deal with it right now—or ever, for that matter. I’m good to go. I can start tomorrow.”
“You’re not good until you have a permanent solution. I can help you.”
She placed a hand on the table. “Lieutenant, I appreciate the offer but you need to understand that this is my personal business.” His eyes hardened so she softened her tone. “Relationships are complicated. I don’t understand why my mother stays with my father, but I’ve come to accept the fact that she’d rather die than leave him.”
He flinched and she realized she’d hit a nerve. Didn’t his mother commit suicide? She remembered that fact from the news coverage of his brother’s death.
“You asked me to trust you. You’re going to have to trust me that this is not an issue. I don’t need time to go deal with it. What I really need is to get to work.” Work was the only thing that kept her sane. She needed the order in her life.
He opened his mouth, then closed it. Desperate to move on, Alessa filled the silence. “Your turn to tell me something I don’t know, perhaps starting with why you need me to be your spy.”
Leaning back, he wove his hands into his hair. The creaking of his chair was the only sound in the room for several moments.
“If this is going to work, we need to trust each other,” she repeated quietly, as much for her own sake as his.
Finally, he unlocked his hands and placed them on the table.
“My brother Ethan isn’t dead. Someone in the army is holding him captive and I need your help to find him.”
CHAPTER THREE (#u3ef489b5-224b-5df6-b3c9-d6bb9008aabb)
IT WAS MADDENING. After his explosive announcement, Lieutenant Williams had been called away and Alessa had been assigned to a bed and instructed to get some sleep and report for duty at 0700. At least he’d relented on the one-week leave. Exhaustion eventually won over curiosity and she managed to get some good rest on a top bunk with a threadbare mattress.
She woke early and joined a group of soldiers on a predawn run. It was early spring, and after years in Kuwait she enjoyed the feel of cool, dewy air that smelled of flowers and grass rather than dirt and exhaust fumes. Reveille played around 0600. After ending her run, she went back to the barracks and took a shower and changed. She loved the routine, no matter where in the world she was.
“Sergeant Parrino.”
Rodgers was standing at the entrance to the warehouse she’d been instructed to report to. She almost didn’t recognize him because he wasn’t in army fatigues but was wearing jeans and a dark brown T-shirt that matched his hair and eyes.
A wave of disappointment hit her. She’d been expecting to see Lieutenant Williams. To find out why he thinks his brother is still alive. There was absolutely no other reason.
“Welcome to the unit. I’ll be giving you the tour and explaining the assignment.”
She nodded. “Thank you for going easy on me yesterday, Sergeant.” Rodgers was three years younger than her but the same rank. Experience had taught her that men didn’t like to be beaten by a woman and it was advantageous to put them at ease. A little trick she’d learned from her mother.
“I didn’t go easy on you. In fact, I gave it my best. You won fair and square, and I don’t mind admitting it.”
This is a first. “I appreciate that, Sergeant.”
“Call me Dylan or Rodgers. We’re equals. In fact, Luke isn’t into formalities—he wants us to call each other by first or last names. The point of this unit is to not follow our traditional training.”
“And why is that?” Despite her preparation for the assessment, she knew very little about the unit or its mission. Lieutenant Williams, Luke, had given her nothing. The papers she’d signed didn’t even have a designation for the unit.
“We are like secret internal investigators for the army,” Rodgers explained. “There have been some issues with treason, but we can’t seem to get to the root of the problem because we’re fighting an enemy within, one who knows how we work. There might even be some Special Forces involvement, which is why none of the unit members are Delta. Ethan started this no-rank business—he didn’t want the enemy to know how we operate, so first thing he wanted us to do was stop thinking like army grunts.”
Alessa couldn’t help but smile. She’d fit in perfectly.
“Did Ethan hire you?”
He nodded. “I was one of the first, so I’ve pretty much done all the jobs on this unit. You’re the sixth, but I understand you’re filling the logistics position.” He shot her a quizzical glance.
“Yes I am, Sergeant—I mean, Rodgers.”
“That makes no sense to me.”
She raised a brow. “Me neither. But it was either this or nothing at all.”
He shrugged. “My guess is it was Colonel McBride. Luke can’t stand up to him the way Ethan did.”
Aren’t you just a fountain of information. “How come?”
“He’s still feeling his way. Only got the gig because of General Williams. McBride wanted to put his own man in, so he’s looking for a reason to get rid of Luke. This unit was Ethan’s baby.”
“What’s your impression of Lieutenant...of Luke as a leader?”
Rodgers shrugged. “It’s too early to tell. He’s not his brother, that’s for sure, and that’s been hard on the unit. He looks just like Ethan, talks like him, but he’s a different man.”
“How so?”
“He’s not regulation army.”
“Didn’t you just say it’s not supposed to be?”
“Yeah, but he’s not an army man. The rest of us are here because we love the military, and we believe in the mission of this unit. Before Ethan died, he was lamenting the fact that Luke was quitting. So why take over his brother’s unit?”
“Because he wants to complete Ethan’s mission?”
Rodgers shook his head. “They weren’t tight like that. Anyhow, I’ve said too much to the newbie. Part of the training... We’ve been encouraged to fight our instincts. Do what doesn’t come naturally and be more transparent—whatever that means.”
He led her through a maze of boxes and random equipment, then opened a door to the area they’d been in yesterday. Luke wasn’t in his office. Rodgers stopped outside a door marked Men and went inside. Alessa followed.
“Heads-up.” Rodgers yelled, and Alessa averted her gaze as four men in various stages of undress quickly pulled on clothes and slapped on towels.
“This is Alessa Parrino.” He turned to her. “What do you prefer to be called?”
“Parrino is fine.”
“You the one who kicked his baby bottom yesterday?” one of the men asked.
Rodgers took it in stride. “Yep, so I’d watch myself if I were you guys. She’s mightier than she looks.”
Each of the men stood in turn and introduced himself. The tall African American man showing off a set of perfect abs over low-slung jeans was Boots. The baby-faced man with freckles on his nose and a mop of curly red hair was Steele, the dark-haired, dark-eyed man with a pockmarked face was Dan, and the skinny man with the easy smile was Dimples. They each gave her a hard handshake with a warm welcome in their eyes. She also noted that they were all around her age.
“There’s no women’s locker room. You’re welcome to use ours or use the bathroom in Luke’s office while we’re here.”
“What, Luke doesn’t have a nickname?”
The men looked at each other. “Not one he knows about.”
Alessa put a hand on her hip. “Out with it. Remember, I’m the one who’ll be planning where you stay and what you eat.”
The men exchanged another round of glances.
“All right, then, roach-infested motels and MREs it is,” Alessa said, crossing her arms.
Rodgers held up his hand. “It’s Fabio.”
Alessa laughed and the men joined in. “That’s perfect for him.” While Luke’s golden locks were cropped short, he had the kind of swoon-worthy looks that could grace the covers of romance novels. With his playboy reputation, the name fit.
“What do you guys think of Colonel McBride?” If the collective nose-scrunching and eye-rolling was anything to go on, they felt the same way about the colonel as she did.
“That guy really needs to retire. But the only way he’s leaving the army is if he’s six feet under,” Steele muttered. They all nodded their agreement. These were good men, and Alessa felt a frisson of excitement roll through her. This was what she loved about the army, the camaraderie and feeling of being part of a team. “Do you have a nickname for him?” she asked.
“Nothing that’s stuck.” Dimples spoke for the group.
“I’ve got one.” Alessa smiled. “Black Tag.”
There was a beat, then the room filled with roaring laughter. In disaster triage, medics and doctors were taught to tag people according to the severity of their illnesses or injuries. Red tags for those who needed urgent care, black tags for those who couldn’t be saved or were already dead.
“That’s just perfect. Something goes down, that old coot is the first one I’m leaving behind.” Rodgers hooted.
And just like that, Alessa was one of them. No matter how “un-army” Luke wanted the unit to be, nothing changed the fact that Luke was their immediate commanding officer and the enlisted would band together.
Rodgers took her to a cubicle and motioned for her to sit. He handed her a piece of paper. “Here’s your computer login and password. Unit ships out in a month. The stack of files there is the equipment and transport we need, and a list of lodging options. I’ll be in the training pit with the other guys—come get me if you have a question.”
“Let me know if you need any help. Training, that is.” She wiggled her brows and Rodgers laughed.
“Guess I deserve that.” He turned, then stopped and looked back at her. “I am sorry Black Tag screwed you. You should be in the pit with us. The guys know it, too. Once we get in the field, things will be different.”
He wouldn’t say more, but Alessa smiled. If the men respected her, they would let her help on ops. Being in theatre was very different than being on post. At her rank, in combat, she commanded a small squad of men and women. On post she fetched coffee.
All day, she kept an eye on Luke’s office, but it remained empty. The men ordered pizza for lunch and invited her to eat with them in the pit, which was their term for the warehouse-like space with the Plexiglas box in the center. The ten by ten foot box had been set up for training exercises, and it was where she had fought Rodgers. She didn’t ask where Luke was and none of them commented on his absence. They talked easily about Fort Belvoir and gave her tips on what to avoid if she ate at the mess hall.
It had been a while since she’d been one of the guys, and Alessa felt less anxious about the transfer. Even if she was stuck doing grunt work, it was worth it to be away from Aidan and get her career back on track.
“So how did each of you end up on the unit?” Alessa asked through a mouthful of pepperoni pizza. It wasn’t as good as her mom’s homemade version, but far better than anything cooked up in a mess hall.
Rodgers answered first. “Back in the Sandbox, I worked with General Williams. When Ethan started the unit, the general called and asked me to apply. I was going through a divorce and it was a nice distraction.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Alessa said quietly. Though Rodgers said it nonchalantly, she sensed the divorce hadn’t been so easy on him.
He shrugged. “Army life is hard on spouses.”
Alessa looked around and saw several of the men nodding in more than just congenial agreement. Steele spoke up. “I’ve been through two divorces—the first when I enlisted after 9/11 and my high school sweetheart decided she wasn’t going to support me, and the second after three back-to-back tours. My second wife decided she wanted someone who was home for more than a weekend a year. She wanted kids and was tired of waiting on me. By the time I applied for this unit, I was a free bird.”
Alessa swallowed. On the few occasions she talked to her mother, she was diligently reminded that her window to have children was rapidly closing and if she ever wanted anything more than a bunk bed in a barrack, she needed to find a husband. She usually tuned her mother out, but ever since Aidan, each conversation had pinged her heart in a way the admonition never had before.
“Maybe you should marry another soldier,” Alessa said lightly.
They all shook their heads and turned to Dan, who rolled his eyes. “You’re going to make me tell her, aren’t you?”
Dimples slapped him on the back and Dan smiled at Alessa.
“When I was a young private buck, I fell head over heels for a wide-eyed doe, also a private. It was love in the headlights and we were married within weeks. Then we got deployed to the same desert and I loved it and she didn’t. Got her leg blown off and decided I wasn’t good enough for her anymore.” Dan’s casual shrug and broad smile did little to hide the raw pain in his eyes. A heavy silence fell over the room and Dan’s too-bright smile dropped.
Boots finally broke the somber mood. “Well, I’ve never been married.”
“That’s ’cause there’s no woman out there that can stand the smell of your feet,” Dimples teased.
In response, Boots lifted his foot and shoved it toward Dimples, who smacked it away. Alessa laughed along with the guys, enjoying the good-natured ribbing.
“We’re all here because we love the army,” Boots said more seriously. “I had a girl back home but I broke up with her when I enlisted.”
“Don’t listen to any of them. I’ve been happily married for twelve years and have three adorable children.” Dimples smiled proudly. “My girl gets that country comes first.” He pulled out his phone and turned the screen to show her. “That’s Emmy with my three brats. Army life is good for them. She’s got a house on post, daycare for the baby and school for the older two. We’ve got medical and dental, and she’s got a support system when I get deployed. It’s a good deal.”
The rest of the men went quiet and Alessa got the feeling that they were all trying to figure out whether Dimples was just lucky or whether they had it wrong.
“We all came for Ethan,” Steele said. “He recruited us in one way or another. We believed in him, in the work of this unit.”
“And now?” Alessa prompted.
“We’re here to complete Ethan’s work,” Dan said simply. “All of us were on the mission where we lost him, and we’re gonna make sure we make it right.”
The men nodded solemnly and Alessa’s heart squeezed. How was she going to spy on them for Luke? They were good guys, each sincere in his desire to serve. There was no way one of these men was a traitor.
When they were done eating, she stepped out of the pit and watched the unit members run through a home invasion scenario. She’d already finished the day’s work. Having been assigned to logistics for six months after the incident, she was already familiar with all the army systems. It was mind-numbing drudgery. But she would get to travel with the unit. They were going to Pakistan for a month, and she’d been asked to set up a safe house close to the Afghan border and organize all their travel and meals.
“It’ll be different once we get out of here.”
He’d snuck up on her. She stood at attention. Unlike yesterday, when he’d been dressed in fatigues just like her, Luke was dressed in jeans and a polo shirt.
“Sir?”
“Call me Luke. I’m sure the guys gave you the lowdown. We keep the formalities around Colonel McBride, but inside the unit, there’s no rank.”
“Except for you.”
“Someone has to be in charge. But the guys are involved in all major decisions.”
“Except the one to hire me. Or use me as a spy.”
He pressed his mouth into a thin line but then his lips turned upward and he grinned broadly. “Parrino, you’re going to keep me in line, and I like it.”
Better watch this one. He was one of those guys who flirted without even thinking about it. Fabio. Except his transgressions hadn’t halted his career as they had hers.
“Are you going to fill me in?”
He motioned toward his office and closed the door behind them. After she was seated, he pushed a file across the desk. “The safe house the team was using blew up. Ethan walked right into it. The rest of the team was out on surveillance and he returned to check something out. Dimples and Rodgers came to the house when Ethan stopped responding and found it burnt to the ground. They pulled out Ethan’s charred body. Forensics identified him from DNA and dental records.”
“So why do you think he’s still alive?”
“I’ll get to that. First, I want you to consider how the safe house was compromised.”
“Surely someone has already looked into that.” There was no way the guys in the unit would have accepted that it was Ethan’s body otherwise.
“This unit doesn’t really exist. We’re technically paper pushers tasked with archiving old army records. The official story is that Ethan died in a training accident. So only the unit members have been studying the details, and we’ve found nothing. The guys only believed it after the DNA results came back. But the safe house could only have been compromised by someone on the inside. We suspect someone in the army set him up.”
She flipped through the file. There were pictures of the burnt house and Ethan’s body. It wasn’t recognizable. Reading through the operational details, it was obvious the unit had been set up. But how? The only people who knew of the operation were the unit members. Even Colonel Black Tag didn’t have all the details.
“So I just set up the safe house in Pakistan. I’m the only one who knows where we’re going, but I used army assets to find it. If someone on the inside knows we’re going there, it wouldn’t take them long to use the same resources I did and by process of elimination, identify our safe house.”
Before he opened his mouth, she held up her hand. “I need to find a new one, not using army assets.”
“Good, you’re a quick study. As hard as it is, don’t do things the army way.”
Easier said than done. The army way was all she knew.
“Okay, so someone on the inside knew you were going there. Possibly a member of the unit.” Even as she said the words, she couldn’t see any of those guys betraying them. They were a team. They’d been together for six months, and while they hadn’t fully accepted Luke as their commander, they believed in the unit. She’d seen that in the way they handled themselves during the exercise. Each member was top notch.
“I’d be surprised if it’s one of my guys, but I’m not eliminating that possibility. You weren’t a part of the unit when they lost Ethan, which is why you’re the only one I’m reading in on the next part.”
“Why you think your brother is still alive.”
He slid another folder toward her. It was the autopsy report. She scanned it, not knowing what he wanted her to find. The DNA test seemed pretty conclusive.
“Page 7, the skeletal scan.”
She flipped to that page, then looked at him questioningly.
“It shows his ribs are intact. He fractured his ribs when we were kids.”
So that was why he’d picked up on her broken bones.
“Maybe the coroner missed it.”
“He didn’t. I showed the original X-rays to another doctor. No broken ribs.”
“Maybe you’re mistaken about the break.”
He shook his head. “We were thirteen and spending the summer with a cousin overseas. Ethan got trampled by a sheep. When we stopped laughing, we figured out Ethan was in real pain and took him to the hospital. The fractures were obvious on the X-rays, even to me. He was in bed and I had to take care of him for the better part of the summer.”
She sat back in her chair. There had to be a more reasonable explanation.
“I’ve spent two months thinking about this and the only possibility is the dead body wasn’t Ethan.”
“The DNA tests.”
“Were based on matches in our database. Someone could have switched the records. Same with the dental scans.”
Realization dawned on her. “The broken ribs—you weren’t on post. You went to a private hospital so it wouldn’t be in the army records.”
He clicked his fingers and pointed them at her. “Even my father didn’t know about the broken ribs. I need to get to the bottom of what happened with Ethan. Call it the twin intuition thing, but I feel it in my bones—he’s not dead.”
Alessa’s sister, Julia, was three years younger than her but while they were growing up, Alessa could always sense when Julia was in danger. She couldn’t even imagine what it was like to have an identical twin. If Luke believed Ethan was alive, then chances were good that he was.
“How can I help?”
“Right now, learn your job. Rodgers has been doing logistics, so he’ll talk you through the mistakes you made on today’s assignment. Get friendly with the guys, be a member of the unit. If you hear something that seems suspicious, let me know.”
A cold dread seeped into her bones. That’s how it had started with Aidan. Personal favors that seemed innocuous, part of the job even. But the mistake she’d made with Aidan was that she’d let him get too close. Forgotten the fact that she was an enlisted soldier and he was a commissioned officer, which meant they couldn’t even be friends. She wouldn’t do that with Luke.
Luke stood and she followed suit, getting ready to salute him, the way she would any other superior officer, but he extended his hand and she automatically took it.
“We wear civilian clothes to shed the army way. No saluting. From now on, we’re colleagues, perhaps even friends.”
She looked into his ocean blue eyes. I can’t be friends with you. That would be dangerous. Her career couldn’t withstand one more rumor of an improper relationship with a superior officer.
CHAPTER FOUR (#u3ef489b5-224b-5df6-b3c9-d6bb9008aabb)
THREE DAYS INTO the unit and Alessa didn’t know whether she’d made the best or worst decision of her army career. Now that she had to do things the un-army way, the logistics job was much harder than she’d expected. It was easy to click through some databases and fill out paperwork, but a whole other task to rely on general internet searches and online contacts to set up the most basic arrangements. There wasn’t exactly an Expedia for safe houses and covert air transportation.
It was a challenge she welcomed, but it also left her little time to train with the team. She’d been stuck behind a desk for the better part of three days. The guys stopped by to see her and that made it even harder. They were kindhearted men who genuinely respected her, and no matter how many times she told herself she would prove them innocent, she felt disingenuous in her attempts to bond.
Tapping at the keys, she reconfirmed yet another one of the details for the team’s upcoming trip. Every logistic mattered. They were going into unfriendly territory without the cover of the army. If she overlooked even one minor point, she could jeopardize the team’s safety.
“You’ve been sitting behind a desk way too long.”
Alessa turned to find Luke leaning over her shoulder. He smelled of soap and coffee and looked entirely too fresh for the late afternoon.
“You’re right. Want to give me a field designation and hire someone else for logistics?” She was surprised that she managed to make her voice sound normal despite the fact that her tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth.
He eyed her monitor, then placed his hand over hers on the computer mouse and clicked to see the itinerary she’d been working on. He moved his hand before she could snatch back her own. She had barely processed the invasion when he pointed to the document he’d pulled up and asked her about their travel plans.
She answered his questions, miraculously focusing on the content of the inquiry and not on the lack of personal space between them. The heat from his body made her shift in her seat. This mission was too important for her to be distracted, and Luke was a superior officer. Pull yourself together, Parrino.
He pointed out some issues in her plans and she bit her lip to keep from screaming in frustration. Luke wasn’t wrong; he was catching some fine points she should have thought about.
“It’s a good start. Keep at it and you’ll get it,” he said encouragingly. Alessa nodded blandly but all she wanted to do was pull her hair out. With the things he’d pointed out, she still had a lot of work ahead of her, which meant she’d be behind the desk for a while. At least in Kuwait she got to go out on patrol once a day even when she was on primary desk duty.
“Why don’t you take a break and come do some exercises with the team? We’re in the pit.”
If Luke hadn’t been standing so close, she would’ve jumped up immediately.
“Thank you, I’d like that,” she said serenely.
He placed a hand on her shoulder and she flinched involuntarily. He immediately pulled back. She stood and followed him across the warehouse, but he stopped before reaching the pit. “I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to touch... I mean...” He took a breath and she shuffled on her feet. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he said finally.
“I like boundaries,” she said simply. Alessa shouldn’t have been bothered by his proximity. Personal space was a luxury you didn’t get in battle. She was used to the closeness of men, riding in trucks, staying in tight quarters. She and Luke were an officer and a soldier, nothing more. She wouldn’t have bristled if Rodgers had put a hand on her shoulder. She’d had full body contact with Rodgers when they were fighting and hardly noticed. In fact, she’d seen all of the team, minus Luke, in various stages of undress and it hadn’t bothered her at all. All the more reason to keep my distance from him. The last thing she needed was another Aidan situation.
When they stepped into the pit, Luke divided everyone into teams and paired Alessa with Steele. They would be practicing close-quarters combat. Alessa and Steele were the first team, so she only had a few minutes to warm up. Each pair would fight in the pit while everyone else watched from the outside to give them tips afterward. It felt like being in a fishbowl, but that was also part of the training. To focus on the fight despite distractions. She got into the exercise with gusto. It felt good to get rid of her pent-up energy and she quickly had Steele on the ground.
“Told you, man, she’s small but mighty.” Rodgers said in a gloating tone as they stepped out of the Plexiglas cube so the next team could take a turn.
“Okay, I want each of you to figure out how your partner got the better of you, then switch partners. It’s important to know your own weakness, acknowledge what your partner exploited,” Luke instructed. The guys had told Alessa that unlike Ethan, Luke spent a lot of time in running exercises himself.
They worked at the exercise for the better part of two hours until Alessa had pretty much kicked all of the men to the ground.
“C’mon guys,” Luke yelled. “I want at least one of you to find Parrino’s weak spot. Get inside her head.”
“She’s made of titanium,” Dimples quipped, his characteristic smile lopsided as he grabbed the side of his head that Alessa had slammed into the wall.
“Everyone has a weak spot, guys, and you need to find hers,” Luke said firmly.
“Oh, yeah? If you think it’s that easy, why don’t you do it?” Rodgers shot back. Alessa sensed that Rodgers had been a little hesitant on their second fight and she’d told him his fear was what made him an easy target. He’d been afraid of her based on their previous encounter, which made him tentative, and that hesitation would be the death of him in a real combat situation. She didn’t have the strength that the men did, so she got the better of them through lightning-fast moves.
“Yeah, Lieutenant, why don’t you show us grunts how it’s done,” Dimples jeered.
Alessa looked at Luke and smiled at the panic evident in his eyes. It would be fun to kick his rear end to the ground, put him in his place. She cracked her knuckles.
“What, you afraid to get whooped by a girl?” she taunted.
He narrowed his eyes, then gestured to Alessa. Luke stepped onto the rubber mat and held the door while Alessa stepped across the threshold, unable to contain the smirk on her face. Luke closed the door behind him.
He stepped toward her. The guys wouldn’t be able to hear them with the door closed but he kept his voice low.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked.
Of course not. Her stomach fluttered as she studied the stormy blues of his eyes. Fighting with someone meant close body contact. His proximity at the computer had been enough to supercharge her senses. Was she really ready for that again? He raised his brows, giving her a way out. All she had to say was no. She wasn’t required to do this training. After all, she was only the logistics person. Fighting him was a bad idea. A very bad idea.
“It’s on,” she said, chin raised.
His eyes darkened and he stepped back from her, his jaw set. There were no rules in this exercise. The idea was to take down your opponent by any means necessary using your bare hands. The rest of the team was watching intently behind the Plexiglas. Her gaze was laser focused on Luke.
Alessa’s martial arts training had drummed into her the importance of looking into the opponent’s eyes to anticipate his next move. It usually worked for her, but not this time. Looking into Luke’s eyes was like watching the swirls of a tornado. Get it together!
He wouldn’t make the first move. In a disciplined fight, offense was not always the best defense. If she moved first, it would give him time to react. He would get to decide whether to evade, block or retaliate. He’d be the one with the choices and she would give away her preferred fight mode. The movies often showed two adversaries circling each other ready to pounce, but neither of them did that. They stared at each other for what seemed like hours but was in fact mere seconds.
Luke wasn’t going to budge. Alessa had to make her move. She led with a kick, hoping to throw him off balance, but he was expecting it and blocked her deftly. She anticipated a counter punch, but it never came. She successfully twisted away from him and they were back in the face-off.
He’d had the perfect opportunity to at least get a jab into her, and he hadn’t taken it. Why? While it was understood that they wouldn’t seriously injure each other in these exercises, everyone expected to walk away sore and bruised, including Alessa. The bruises would remind them of their weak spots so they could protect them better next time. Luke should have taken at least one punch.
Most people thought fighting was about power and speed. And it was. But it was also about messing with the opponent’s head. Faking left and going right was the simplistic version of that.
She inched closer to him. “You’ll regret pulling that punch,” she said, then jabbed at him with her fists. She was at a significant disadvantage. Her arms were shorter than his, and just as she expected, he blocked her with ease. But counting on the fact that he wouldn’t make an aggressive move, she turned and slammed her body against his, pushing him hard into the wall.
She heard his moan a millisecond after the thud of his body against the solid Plexiglas.
“Alessa, I don’t want to do this.” The way he said her name, the apology in his tone, sent warmth through her heart. It was her downfall, the momentary distraction. She was already at a disadvantage trying to hold down his large body with her smaller one. Before she knew it, Luke had spun her around and pinned her arms to her back. He held her close, his grip firm. Focusing on the rise and fall of his chest, she calculated her next move. She wasn’t going to let him get inside her head again.
In a normal fight, he could put a knee to her back and push her to the mat, but instead he leaned closer to whisper in her ear.
“You underestimate me. Maybe I was just making you comfortable to get the better of you.” If the words were meant to be menacing, they were badly delivered. His breath was ragged in her ear, his voice thick and throaty. Is he also having trouble concentrating? She shook off the thought. He was trying to distract her.
She kicked behind her, catching Luke in the knee. Hard enough that he grunted and loosened his grip just a fraction, which was all she needed to free herself from his grasp. She whipped around to face him in their now-familiar standoff.
His eyes smoldered. Her entire body burned. I could end this now, say I’m not feeling well. Fighting Luke was a kind of torture she didn’t need. It didn’t matter what he did or did not feel for her. There was at least a flirtation between them and the entire team was watching. Try as she might, she couldn’t focus on the fight and the guys would know it. She needed to be above reproach to counteract everything that had happened in Kuwait. The guys had all been in the pit with her; they knew she didn’t fight this sloppily.
Time to focus. Whenever she was in over her head in a fight, she thought about her father. It was a good tactic to bring in a rush of anger that helped her overcome any pain or doubt. The trick had never failed her. But now, all she could think about was the way he was looking at her. No man had ever looked at her that way. More importantly, no man had ever made her feel the way Luke was right now. Like she mattered. Like he cared. Shake it off Alessa, it’s not real. But she couldn’t.
A bang on the Plexiglas made them both flinch. Rodgers held up his hands in a gesture of confusion. They’d been standing there without doing anything for several minutes. Alessa took a breath. She had to get through this; if the guys thought there was anything other than a professional relationship between her and Luke, her career was over.
I need to end this. Rodgers was still miming, and while Luke’s attention was on the other man, she charged at him with everything she had. She crashed into him as she intended, but he twisted away. Before she could deliver her final blow, he pivoted and crouched at the same time. He knocked her off her feet. She landed on the padded floor but not before she managed to sweep her leg under his. She turned immediately, intending to get up before he regained his balance but he was too quick. He rolled over top of her to keep her down.
His face was less than an inch away from hers, their noses nearly touching. His blue eyes drew her in and she found herself unable to look away. Even though she knew it was crazy, she felt as if a riptide was pulling her into the depths of his soul.
They were both frozen, unsure of what to do with such intimate contact. “We’re ending this.” Luke said softly. He shifted his weight with a clear intention to let her up.
As soon as she had room to move, she shoved against his chest and his grunt told her she’d successfully knocked the wind out of him. It was a provocation. His eyes flashed at her, a clear warning that she was playing with fire. But Alessa wasn’t going to let up. Never in her life had she been so aware of every nerve in her body. She wasn’t ready to let go of whatever it was that was igniting her from the inside.
She was still in a vulnerable position and this time he didn’t go easy on her. He returned her jab and attempted to pin her back down but she was quicker, managing to twist away from him while delivering a few kicks. Luke had asked them to train with their shoes off, partly to avoid serious injuries but also because shoes add an inch or so to the foot. If they got used to kicking with bare feet, the extra shoe length in real combat would maximize their contact with an opponent. Alessa had trained barefooted in martial arts gyms, breaking boards with her hands and feet. She knew all about aiming past the target to maximize her blow and she used this training to the fullest. Luke moaned after a particularly vicious jab that she managed to land on his solar plexus. When she paused to make sure she hadn’t gone too far, Luke came at her within a second and she forgot all about her concern. Now that they were in the throes of the fight and he’d stopped handling her delicately, she was enjoying their encounter. Luke was good. Better than the rest of the team, even Rodgers.
He managed to get her against the wall. “What are you doing, Alessa?” he snarled, his breaths coming fast and heavy, blowing warm air against her ear.
What am I doing? He had given her plenty of chances to get out of this; why wasn’t she taking them?
“I want us to finish this exercise,” she squeezed through a closed throat. He had her pressed tight against the Plexiglas and her lungs were starting to burn. As if realizing that, he eased up just a little, enough that she could take a full breath but not so she could get the upper hand.
“You want to finish the exercise, you got it.”
He twisted her arm behind her back. Alessa knew what he was trying to do. He would pin her to the floor so she couldn’t get up. Like a wrestling match, it would effectively end the exercise.
Taking a breath, she twisted her shoulder, wrenching her arm tighter against him. Luke swore under his breath. There was only one way he could keep her down and that was to put a knee in her back and slam her head into the floor. It was a vicious move and she needed to find out whether he’d use it on her. She knew without a doubt the other guys wouldn’t hesitate to be rough with her.
“Why are you so stubborn?” he asked through gritted teeth as she continued to struggle against him. Her shoulder and arm burned, but she didn’t care. Pain was something she understood, something she could deal with. The feelings Luke was bringing out in her were something she could not.
He placed a hand between her shoulder blades. Rather than knee her back, he was going to force her down with his hand. It was a kinder, gentler way, but just as effective, so she wrenched her shoulder as hard as she could against his hand.
Something popped in her shoulder and a searing pain traversed her arm. She cried out, then collapsed.
CHAPTER FIVE (#u3ef489b5-224b-5df6-b3c9-d6bb9008aabb)
LUKE KNEW THAT the floor was padded and Alessa wouldn’t be seriously hurt if she fell, but he couldn’t stop himself from catching her. He gestured to the team and they came rushing through the door. Rodgers had some basic medic training.
“She dislocated her shoulder,” he said immediately. While Luke was no medic, the protruding knob on her shoulder was clear as day. Her face twisted in pain as she clutched her arm, and his chest burned. What was I thinking? He’d known from the moment he stepped into the ring that this would end badly. When Rodgers first asked him to fight Alessa, he should’ve declined. She wasn’t one of the guys, and treating her like one had gotten her injured.
Luke yelled for someone to get the medic kit. While Rodgers ran to get it, Luke bent his head so only Alessa could hear. “I’m sorry, Parrino, I didn’t mean to do that.”
“You found my weak spot,” she croaked, and he felt a punch to his gut. Alessa had dislocated her shoulder twice before—it was in her file—which meant her shoulder was more prone to a repeat injury. And yet, he’d mercilessly yanked her arm.
What had he been trying to do? Show the guys he was better than them or prove to himself that Alessa was nothing more than another soldier? Good job, Luke. Fail on both counts.
Rodgers went about immobilizing her arm with a sling.
“You can let go of her now,” he told Luke not-so-tactfully. Luke was still cradling Alessa, and she seemed to realize it at the same moment. She sat up on her own, grunting as she did.
“If we were in the field, I’d set it for you,” Rodgers said, “but we have the luxury of a clinic on post. I’m going to give you a painkiller to tide you over.” He handed her a pill and Dimples followed with a bottle of water, which she chugged down.
Luke stood back while Rodgers and Dimples helped Alessa up and out of the pit. She tried to shrug them off, but they wouldn’t have it. They even helped her get on her shoes, ignoring her protests. Dan and Boots had gone to fetch a car. Luke felt useless, but he followed along, unsure of what to do.
At the jeep that Dan had commandeered, Rodgers held up a hand. “We only have room for four. Dan is driving, Dimples and I will go with Alessa.”
Luke scowled at him. “Dimples can stay here. I’ll go with you.”
“Don’t you think you’ve done enough?” Rodgers said unkindly.
It was no way to talk to a superior officer, but Luke was the one who had been training them to do just that. To treat him like they were a private security firm, not the disciplined soldiers of the army. He had encouraged his men to question orders and call him on his bullshit, which was exactly what Rodgers was doing now. Luke had no reason to go to the hospital with Alessa.
“Listen, there might be some administrative hassle with the unit designation. I don’t want there to be a problem,” Luke tried.
Rodgers narrowed his eyes but didn’t say anything. Luke got the distinct impression that the other man could see right through him but was choosing not to say anything. They got into the jeep, Alessa in the back with Rodgers while Luke rode in the passenger seat. He would much rather have been with her, but Rodgers hadn’t given him a chance. Luke knew that Rodgers was single and irrationally wondered whether the man had feelings for Alessa. He seemed to be overly protective of her. And you’re not?
He snuck a glance at Alessa. She was holding her right arm to her chest, her face composed, but he didn’t miss the slight flare of her nostrils or the tinge of pink on her cheeks and throat. She was in pain. His stomach churned, the adrenaline burning off. In its place was the sickening feeling of self-loathing. He’d physically hurt a woman. And not just any woman. Alessa. Of course, he hadn’t meant to hurt her; in fact, he’d been very careful not to. Things had happened so quickly... Had he lost focus and missed that she was turning her body? Had he twisted her arm a fraction too hard? None of this would have happened if he’d been a stronger man and just refused to fight her.
In that moment when the team was goading him, he’d been ready to step away, to take the guys’ ribbing, but then he’d looked at Alessa and the fervor in her eyes had lit him up. He’d wanted nothing more than to prove to himself and his team that he deserved to be their commander, and that Alessa was nothing more than a soldier to him. So he’d stepped into the pit, and he’d hurt her. Possibly badly. Under normal circumstances, a dislocated shoulder was not a permanent injury, but with the previous trauma she’d endured, what if he had effectively ended her career? His mouth soured. I’m supposed to put my unit’s needs before my own. What kind of leader will I be?
They took her to the community hospital on base. The emergency room wasn’t busy, and Alessa was whisked into the treatment area. Luke, Rodgers and Dan were firmly told to stay in the waiting room. Dan volunteered to go find coffee for the men.
“What was that all about?” Rodgers didn’t waste any time once Dan was out of earshot. When Ethan died, Rodgers had been the de facto unit commander. By rank, Dimples was the most senior, but Rodgers had been with the team the longest and so he had been the one to get the team back home after their mission literally blew up. He’d been the one to hold the team together while Colonel McBride jockeyed for position and the team’s future hung in the balance. If it hadn’t been for Rodgers, Luke wouldn’t have a team to command; he was the heart and soul of the unit. So Rodgers was not a person to lie to. He would see right through Luke, and Luke needed Rodgers on his side to help him keep the unit together.
“I didn’t want to fight her.”
“Because she’s a girl or because you have feelings for her?”
Luke bit the inside of his cheek. It isn’t because she’s a woman, and it isn’t because I have feelings for her. I don’t. I can’t.
“The colonel didn’t want me to hire her. That’s why I put her in logistics. I didn’t want her getting injured and the colonel asking questions about why she was training.” It was a partial truth.
“Don’t you have a high opinion of yourself? She was holding back with you, and vice versa.”
Luke had sensed that, too. He’d seen Alessa fight and she was rough and fast, but with him she’d been way too hesitant.
Rodgers leaned forward. “Neither of you can afford a scandal. Maybe we’re just seeing things between you and Parrino ’cause you’ve got a reputation and it makes for good gossip between men. But it almost feels like you two are hiding something.”
We are. Luke didn’t want to have this conversation, but he couldn’t have the team suspect Alessa was spying on them. One way or another, a unit member was involved in Ethan’s disappearance and Luke needed the guys to trust Alessa. It was almost better for them to believe the worst of him. “You’re right, I’ve been treating her differently. Maybe because she is a good-looking woman. But I promise you there is nothing romantic between us, nor will there be. I’ll make sure of it.”
Rodgers nodded. “Good.” Then he took a breath. “As much as it pains me to say this, if she’ll be a distraction, I suggest you take her off the team, or at least keep her stateside for the next mission. We can’t screw this one up again.”
Luke pressed his lips together but said nothing. Rodgers was right. If he couldn’t even complete a simple exercise with Alessa, how would they ever work well in the field? The unit was already fractured; he couldn’t make it more divided by favoring a member. Not to mention that Rodgers was right in saying Alessa could ill afford another rumor. Luke was well aware of his own reputation and if the colonel even caught whiff of what had happened in the pit today, he wouldn’t hesitate to use it against Luke.
“It won’t be a problem.” Luke said with more confidence than he felt. Dan returned with steaming cups of coffee and they all sat in silence.
It didn’t take long for the doctor to set Alessa’s shoulder. Luke didn’t trust her to heed the doctor’s warning, so he pulled the man aside to ask him what her prognosis was.
“She asked that I not discuss her medical issues with you,” the doctor said.
He was a short, bald man in his sixties and he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. Luke towered over him but the man did not seem to notice.
“I know this is her third dislocation, and I’m asking as her commanding officer whether she’s fit for duty.”
“Her chart says she’s logistics. She needs to wear the rotator cuff brace for at least two weeks, so she’s fit for whatever work she can do with her left hand. No heavy lifting for six weeks.”
“Will she regain full use of that arm?”
“I don’t see why not, as long as she follows my directions. Though I warn you—as I warned her—that next time she may separate her shoulder entirely and in that case, there is no guarantee what kind of nerve damage she might have.” The doctor peered at Luke. “I suggest you keep her to light desk duty.” He was an army doctor and completely used to soldiers wanting to get back to physical activity as soon as possible. “No training,” he reiterated.
Alessa wouldn’t even look at him, and after asking how she was doing in a perfunctory way, Luke told Dan and Rodgers to take her back to her barracks to rest. He could walk back and use the time to clear his head.
“I’m fine. I need to go back and fix the travel issues you found earlier,” she insisted.
“The doctor said you need to rest for two weeks.”
“He said I need to keep the brace on for two weeks max. I am perfectly capable of using my left hand to operate a keyboard and mouse.”
“I’m ordering you to return to your barracks for the day,” he said firmly.
“With all due respect, sir, you’ve asked us to think and operate independently and to question orders if they don’t seem right. I disagree with yours right now.”
Luke didn’t miss the smirk on Rodgers’s face, nor the matching one on Dan’s.
“You are correct that that is how I want the unit to operate. However, in this circumstance, my order stands.”
She looked like she was going to say more but then thought better of it and responded with an unenthusiastic, “Yes, sir.”
He motioned to Dan to hand over the keys to the jeep they had borrowed. “On second thought, I’m going to drive you myself.” The guys could walk back or get another ride.
“Will you also tuck me in?”
“If I must,” he retorted.
Dan and Rodgers exchanged a glance and Luke glared at them. “Rodgers, get one of the guys to pick you and Dan up. I need you to round up the team. We’re going out for target practice. I’ll meet you there.”
Rodgers nodded, though disapproval was clear in the man’s eyes.
Alessa signed her discharge papers, then Luke held the door open for her as they exited the emergency room.
Once they reached the parking area, he watched her struggle to get into the car. Having the use of just one arm, and her non-dominant one at that, could not be easy. He extended his arm to help her but she ignored him, obviously unwilling to have any contact with him.
“I’m sorry,” he said turning to her as soon as they were seated.
“You should be,” she shot back while she fumbled with her seat belt. She glared at him. “This is all your fault.”
Meeting her gaze, he nodded solemnly. She had every right to blame him.
“I know. I am so sorry, I never should have fought you.” He reached over, pulled the seat belt and clicked it into place. She slapped his arm with her left hand.
“No, you should be sorry for not fighting me. What was that in the pit? You couldn’t decide whether you were going to let me win or force me to lose?”
She was right. He had let himself get into a situation and then hadn’t been able to decide how to handle it. He’d started by thinking he would let her take some jabs at him and then call a truce, but the more she pushed, the more the fight had spun out of control.
“The whole thing was a mistake. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“This wouldn’t have happened if you’d gone through the exercise like you were supposed to, and fought properly. Tell me something...” She turned in her seat and though she tried to hide it, she winced in pain. “If I’d been Rodgers or Steele or one of the other guys, would you have fought the way you did?”
He didn’t bother responding because it was a rhetorical question. They both knew the answer was a clear no. He started the jeep and put it in reverse. The next question was inevitable and he didn’t have an answer, even for himself.
“Either you went easy on me because I’m a woman or you don’t think I can cut it on this unit, or—”
Or I have inappropriate feelings for a soldier in my command.
“You’re not an official member of the team,” he interrupted. “An injury is what I was trying to avoid. If Colonel McBride finds out about this, I’ll have a lot of explaining to do.”
“If that were true, you wouldn’t have let me fight the rest of the guys. Unless you are so arrogant that you’re assuming you would’ve gotten the best of me.”
She was right, and he’d have to come up with a better excuse than Colonel McBride to explain his bizarre behavior.
“I did get the better of you. I was trying to spare you the humiliation.” He kept his tone light.
“I can take care of myself,” she said tightly.
The words were on his lips to reassure her but he focused on pulling up to her barracks unit. He leaned over and released her seat belt, earning another glare. Before he could get around to her door, she had it open and had stepped down, her eyes warning him not to help her.
She turned to him before going through the front door. His stomach twisted at the shine in her eyes.
“I don’t know what you’re playing at, but the army is all I have, it’s all I’ve ever had. Please don’t ruin it for me.”
CHAPTER SIX (#u3ef489b5-224b-5df6-b3c9-d6bb9008aabb)
ALESSA’S SHOULDER WAS killing her, but she couldn’t take the painkillers the doctor had prescribed. She tried going for her morning run but gave up after the first two miles. The sun wasn’t even up when she arrived at her desk. If Luke thought he could marginalize her, he had another think coming. She’d have all the corrections he had suggested yesterday done by the time he came in. Only she’d underestimated how hard it would be to type and operate a mouse with her left hand. When she’d dislocated her shoulder before, she’d been in middle school and then high school.
What was wrong with her? She’d been so desperate to get the upper hand on Luke, she’d twisted her body beyond the safe zone. The man brought out an irrational side of her that she wasn’t used to. The self-discipline she’d worked so hard to attain seemed to melt away when he was around.
One assignment, then I’ll request a transfer. Even as she thought it, she hated the idea. She loved the guys in the unit. They respected and accepted her, something that wasn’t easy to find in the army. Which made spying on them that much harder. And then it hit her. If Luke was right about his brother being alive, he wouldn’t necessarily remain unit commander. From what the guys had told her, he’d only gotten the job because his father had insisted on it. But if Ethan was alive, and they found him, wouldn’t he return to take command of the unit?
More incentive to find him and prove that the guys weren’t involved. Another reason Alessa wanted to complete her assignment was so she could have time to study the satellite maps from the area where Ethan had supposedly been killed. She wasn’t skilled at reading satellite imagery, so it would take her some time to learn. Once again, she marveled at what a great opportunity working on the unit was. Normal army assignments were remarkably monotonous; you did the same job over and over again.
A few hours later, she had finished her logistics work and had turned to her spy assignment. “What’re you working on?”
She jumped in her seat and turned to find Rodgers peering over her shoulder. “Just studying the satellite maps to get familiar with the area. I’ve served on the border, but never in Pakistan.”
Rodgers nodded and went over some of the landmarks with her, including the safe house where Ethan had been killed. He didn’t once question why she was so interested in the imagery, trusting her half-truth.
“Are you okay with going back there?” She asked carefully.
Rodgers shrugged. “I need to be. Our mission was simple—grab and interrogate Azizi to find out who the army leak was. We never even got to Azizi, though the guys and I talked about finishing the mission since it was important enough to get Ethan killed. But McBride ordered us back. It’s time to get it done.”
“Did Ethan know something you didn’t?” Rodgers narrowed his eyes at her, so she quickly explained. “I’m trying to make sure I cover our bases so we stay safe. Luke briefed me on the mission and I’ve read the files, but you were there.”
Rodgers took a breath. “I try not to get defensive about it, but it’s hard not to question every move we made. Ethan was really open with us, kept us in the loop on all details, no hierarchy. Then when we got on the ground, he was listening to surveillance tapes and heard something he didn’t want to share with us. He insisted on following a lead by himself. Refused to let us get involved. It was the first time he pulled rank on us and we didn’t know what to do, so we let him go. I thought about following him, then decided against it.”
Alessa had read most of this in the after-action reports, but those reports were missing the emotion she sensed in Rodgers. He seemed to be genuinely struggling with the events of that mission.
“It’s not your fault. You were following orders.”
“Which is exactly what I’m not supposed to do in this unit.” He smiled sheepishly.
“It’s hard being in the unit, isn’t it? You’re supposed to question orders but follow them anyway?”
He shrugged. “If you’re talking about Luke, I think he’s still trying to find his way, figure out what he’s supposed to do with us.”
“Have you figured out what to do with him?”
Rodgers laughed. “No, and I think he’s having a particularly hard time with you.”
“Is it because I’m a woman?”
“No, I think it’s because you’re cute.”
She froze. Rodgers’s tone was teasing and flippant, but she sensed a deeper concern.
“What are you implying?”
He sighed. “Listen, Luke has a reputation. I think being a ladies’ man comes naturally to him. This mission is dangerous. Whoever killed Ethan is going to come after us. We all need to be totally focused. We can’t have Luke distracted.”
The subtle warning in his tone made her stomach twist.
“Yesterday wasn’t my fault. I was fully prepared to fight him.”
“Yes you were, but you were slow on your feet. I’ve fought you, remember. Twice. You have sonic speed, but seeing you and Luke fight was like watching a slow-motion video. It wasn’t all him.”
“Nothing is going on between us.”
“I believe you, but to make sure it stays that way, it might be a good idea for you to sit this mission out.”
Her eyes widened. “This mission is my chance to prove I have what it takes. I’m not sitting it out.”
Rodgers shifted on his feet. “Obviously it’s not my call. You’re better than anyone on the team, me included. You’d be an asset on the mission. As long as you can keep things professional with Luke.”
Her cheeks burned. The unit was a fresh start for her. The last thing she needed was another scandal. Especially one so similar to the incident.
“I haven’t done anything to invite Luke’s attention.”
“I know. I’m not mentioning it again. Let’s move past it.”
She nodded, her mouth dry. Nothing ever stayed in the past. Rodgers would be watching her and Luke closely. Alessa would have to put some good distance between her and Luke. She was technically on detail to the unit until her transfer paperwork came through, which meant that she’d have to return to Kuwait and to Aidan if she didn’t go on the mission. That could not happen.
The rest of the day went quickly and by the end of it, Alessa was operating a little more fluently with her left hand. She had emailed the final logistics arrangements to Luke several hours ago. The less physical contact she had with him, the better. The team had left for the day, but not after every single man had stopped by to check on her. Everyone except Luke, which was just fine by her.
She shut down her computer, secured her ID card, and neatly stacked the papers on her desk.
“How’s the arm?”
She hadn’t heard him approach. Taking a breath, she steeled herself and turned. “It’s fine, thank you for asking.”
He eyed her arm, his gaze lingering on the brace that held it against her chest. “I have some notes for you on your arrangements. I’ll email them later tonight.”
She nodded. Why is he here? He could have just emailed her in the first place.
“I wanted to tell you in person...”
Her stomach hardened.
“...you can’t come on the mission.”
CHAPTER SEVEN (#u3ef489b5-224b-5df6-b3c9-d6bb9008aabb)
“THE DOCTOR SAID I need to be in a sling for two weeks. We don’t ship out for another four,” Alessa said evenly. She put her good arm behind her back so he couldn’t see her make a fist.
“He also said you need to take it easy for six weeks or more.” Luke shifted on his feet, unwilling to look her in the eye.
“Technically I’m logistics so I’ll be sitting in the safe house monitoring your operations. That’s the definition of easy.”
“C’mon, Parrino. You designed our entrance strategy into Pakistan. We’re going to be crossing the border illegally from Afghanistan. That’s not only dangerous, it’ll be physically taxing.”
“If I’d dislocated my shoulder in the field, Rodgers would have set it and we would’ve moved on. I wouldn’t even have this brace.”
“We’re not in the field—you know it’s different.”
How is it different?
“I can handle it.”
He met her gaze, his blue eyes intense. There was so much he wasn’t saying.
“I can’t take the risk. We don’t know what we’re facing, and I need each unit member in prime condition.”
She wasn’t going to win this one, so she decided to change tack.
“You need me to find Ethan. I’ve been looking at the satellite imagery from the last mission.” He raised a brow and stepped toward her. Smiling, she booted her computer. “I found an image of the safe house from two years before the ambush.”
“What good does that do?” Luke frowned.
She held up her hand. “Just wait.”
He tapped his foot as she inserted her access card and punched in her pin. She resisted the urge to look at him. He was keeping his distance this time, close enough to see the screen but not as close as he had stood yesterday. Still, she felt the heat coming off his body and tamped down on the irrational feeling that she wanted him closer.
“Okay, this is the picture of the safe house from the unit’s files, shortly after the attack.”
He nodded impatiently. She knew he’d probably studied this picture for hours so she didn’t dwell on it. “Look at this area right here.” She pointed to the southwest corner of the property where the house had stood, then quickly switched the picture.
“Now look at that same corner two years ago.”
Luke leaned forward, placed a hand on her desk and inched his face toward the screen. “Oh, my God.”
She nodded excitedly, pleased that he felt the same way she did about the finding. It had been a long shot, going back through the prior satellite images, but her instinct had led her there and it had been the right call.
“That depression in the ground...” He turned to look at her and she realized how close his face was to her own. She could see the blond stubble on his cheeks and wondered what it would feel like against her skin. The harsh overhead light glinted off his hair, giving it a coppery glow.
He cleared his throat and straightened. “I’ve been having a hard time figuring out how Ethan would have escaped. Satellite imagery clearly shows him entering the house seconds before the blast and nothing afterward, but if that depression...”
“...is a tunnel, it explains how he might have escaped.” She spun her chair to face him.
“Or been taken.”
“Either way, it’s plausible that he wasn’t in the house when the bomb went off.” She held his gaze, and as if sensing what was coming, he broke eye contact. “Luke, you need to focus on the mission. I can concentrate on tracking down the leads related to Ethan. I won’t be a burden.”
He rolled his shoulders and sighed. She had him. Almost.
“When we’re on the ground, you can’t disappear to go check out that property and confirm that depression is a tunnel,” she continued. “But I can. Who knows what else we may find. You need me.”
His eyes connected with hers and warmth filled her heart. Why is he looking at me this way? She could see the no forming, the downward turn of his lips, the plea in his eyes. A rational argument wasn’t going to win him over. This wasn’t about her injury or her usefulness in the field.
“If you keep me off the mission, there will be more rumors about me. About us. Whatever your real reason, I hope it’s worth ruining my career for.” It wasn’t a fair jab, but she had no choice. This was too important. If a rumor circulated that she’d been asked to sit on the bench because of her relationship with the commander, she’d never live it down. She couldn’t spend the rest of her life as a sergeant. A promotion was long overdue, and she’d never get it without being part of something big. Finding Ethan alive was big.
He rubbed the back of his neck and his shoulders dropped. The fluorescent light highlighted the bags under his eyes as he sighed. Her words may have hit him harder than the punch she’d delivered to his solar plexus.
“I need your word that the second your shoulder bothers you, you’ll tell me.”
Fat chance. She smiled sweetly. “Thank you. I won’t let you down.” No good soldier ever told a commanding officer the truth about the extent of their injuries.
He narrowed his eyes but nodded and left. Alessa let out a breath and sank back in the chair. She had convinced Luke that they should work together, but could they?
Last year when things had evolved with Aidan, she’d convinced herself that it was love. But even a kiss with Aidan hadn’t made her glow from the inside out like even a look from Luke did. She closed her eyes. It had to be the excitement of working in the unit, the departure from routine. It was time to focus on the assignment at hand. She couldn’t let another man be the downfall of her career.
* * *
“HOW COME YOU get to be the husband?” Luke’s teasing tone came off with a hint of jealousy and Alessa smiled inwardly.
Rodgers took it in stride. “’Cause I’m the better-looking one.”
“Can’t believe you made me the boozing foreign correspondent who flirts with all the women,” Luke whined.
“I needed you to have cover for when you disappear or don’t answer your door. If you’re a boozer, you’re prone to be sleeping it off. And being a womanizer gives both of us cover if you need to talk to me in public or if for some reason I need to come to your apartment. Remember, my husband, Rodgers, doesn’t really take care of me, if you know what I mean.”
The men laughed and Rodgers pretended to look hurt.
“Are you sure that our explanation for this many foreigners arriving at the same time will fly?” Steele asked. His mop of curly red hair was scraped back into a ponytail.
They were in the training warehouse they called the “pit,” sitting around in a circle, eating dinner and going over the final details for their mission. The last few weeks had flown by. The team had pulled together, putting in eighteen-hour days to get ready. Alessa had never worked this hard in her life, and she loved it.
They had ordered pizza, Chinese and subs. They hoped to only be out of country for two weeks but had planned on six just in case. They had all served in the Sandbox before and knew that while there was good food to be had overseas, there was nothing like greasy pizza, Chinese and salty deli meats.
Alessa grabbed a box of noodles and used a pair of chopsticks to spoon some onto her Styrofoam plate.
“In that area, the only new arrivals are refugees. That’s why Rodgers and I are from Azerbaijan. Since we don’t speak the language, none of us can be Afghani or Pakistani. That’s why Luke and Boots are Canadian foreign correspondents and the rest of you are from Syria. That way only three new apartments are being rented. We won’t arrive together since we’re using separate border crossings, and I did get us on different floors. I’ll make a big show of talking about how nice the Canadians are.”
Alessa had picked an apartment building for them to stay in. It hadn’t been easy finding a safe house without army resources.
Dimples snorted at the remark and Alessa tried not to get irritated at him. “I know it’s a stereotype, but we don’t have a lot of time to create backstories, and the reason stereotypes exist is because lots of people believe them. We have to behave in ways people expect based on who we say we are.”
“I still say we should’ve used a single safe house,” Dan said quietly.
Alessa took a breath. Once the commander approved a plan and issued orders, she wasn’t used to people continuing to discuss and question. But that was the whole point of the unit. She and Luke spoke at the same time and she paused before he waved for her to continue.
“I didn’t find any houses that I could verify. I can check out more possibilities once we’re on the ground.” Alessa knew she sounded snippy, but she had spent days vetting all the options and the apartment building was the best choice.
“None of you can complain. I’ve got to share with Boots. Man, in the summer heat, the whole apartment will be smelling like toe fungus in a minute.” Luke’s tone was light. He was sitting cross-legged and reached for another slice of pepperoni pizza.
“I’ve got news for you.” Alessa took a bite of her noodles. “The whole apartment probably smells like a rat died in there last year. Boots is going to be your air freshener.” She pointed to the phones sitting beside the men. Non-army-issued smartphones that she had gotten them for communications and to download briefing materials. The phones were encrypted and required each man’s thumbprint and a password to access any information. Even if someone forced their thumb, they would still need the password. A team member under duress could also enter a panic password that would make his captors think he had unlocked the phone while sending his location and a distress signal to the rest of the team. Getting these phones had taken some doing. The unit had a spending account, but purchasing required using army resources so she’d bought standard-issue supplies and equipment, sanitized them, then sold the items on the black market to get cash to buy the phones from an underground network. Her first illegal act. Selling government property. Authorized by Luke. Technically, she had cover, but she really hoped this was all legitimate.
“Okay, one last time, we have to get serious about our covers. Look at the personality sheets coded in green on your briefing materials. We can’t all behave the same way, so I’ve given you all personalities. For example, I will be the gossipy Azerbaijani woman who shares a little too much about her husband’s shortcomings.”
Rodgers made a sound of protest at that. “You better keep it limited to professional things,” he muttered.
Alessa rolled her eyes at him and Luke laughed. The sound wrapped around her and she fought to keep her eyes pinned to her plate of noodles. One look at him and she wouldn’t be able to stop staring.
Since the fight and her injury, she had managed to sneak in some training. Her shoulder still hurt, which made her train even harder. She wasn’t going to let the team down. Thankfully, Luke’s time had been taken up with administrative tasks, so she’d seen very little of him. Nearly all of their recent communications had been through email and this was just fine with her. Perhaps the closeness she’d felt to Luke was just because of the explosive secret they shared about Ethan and things would be businesslike from here on out.
“Hey, at least you don’t have to see his ugly mug every day.” Steele motioned toward Dimples, who gave him a wide grin. “Parrino, you did a great job with these covers, but I’m not sure I can pull off being this guy’s brother. I mean, look at him—men ain’t supposed to have dimples.” Steele made a face.
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