Wild Horses
Claire McEwen
This wild stallion can't be tamedTodd Williams is still the naïve idealist he was in college. Only now he's endangering lives—Nora Hoffman's to be exact. Nora hasn’t seen Todd since he decided that saving the rainforest was more important than their relationship. Until the night she’s nearly crushed by the stampede he causes. Now Todd is determined to make amends, for everything.She may not agree with his methods but even Nora can’t deny the importance of his fight to save the wild horses. With the attraction between them still sizzling and the fate of the horses in the balance, Nora must decide just how much she’s willing to risk.
This wild stallion can’t be tamed
Todd Williams is still the naive idealist he was in college. Only now he’s endangering lives—Nora Hoffman’s to be exact. Nora hasn’t seen Todd since he decided that saving the rain forest was more important than their relationship. Until the night she’s nearly crushed by the stampede he causes. Now Todd is determined to make amends, for everything.
She may not agree with his methods, but even Nora can’t deny the importance of his fight to save the wild horses. With the attraction between them still sizzling and the fate of the horses in the balance, Nora must decide just how much she’s willing to risk.
Nora stood up, feeling shaky and sick.
“I need to go, Todd. I’ve got to work early. Thanks for the drink.”
“Nora, hang on.” He stood up, too, leaned a little across the table with his hand out, palm open.
“No.” She took a deep breath and looked right at him. “I know it’s a strange coincidence that we ran into each other in the dark, and that we’re in the same town. But that doesn’t mean we have to be friends. Let’s just agree to be polite and we’ll both be fine. I won’t be in Benson forever anyway.”
“But...”
“See you around, Todd.” There was old pain in her, burning deep and low—pain she didn’t want to feel and most of all, didn’t want him to see.
Nora pushed through the double doors of the bar, inhaling the cool night air with relief. She jumped into her SUV and gunned the engine out of the parking lot, not stopping until she was outside town and she could see every star, horizon to horizon.
She parked her car and stepped out. Leaning against the driver’s side door, she looked up at the glittering sky. How did Todd have the power to make her crazy after all these years? Nora took a deep breath of the clean air and let it out slowly. She just wanted all her feelings about him to be gone.
To live life without the burden of her old, dusty love for him.
Dear Reader (#ulink_ec49ea1b-93bb-58a0-9773-17d9241356ec),
Welcome to the first book in my Sierra Legacy series. Like my previous books, it’s set in the fictional town of Benson, CA. I wasn’t ready to leave my beloved Eastern Sierra yet!
Let me introduce you to the Hoffman family—or at least those not on the run from the law. Siblings, Nora and Wade Hoffman, raised in a notorious criminal family and grappling with that legacy.
Wild Horses is Nora’s story—but she shares it with the wild horses that roam the high desert.
While researching the east side of the Sierra Nevada for my previous books, I learned of the issues facing our nation’s wild horses. The more I read, the more I was drawn to the intense conflict that surrounds them. Are these beautiful animals an important part of our history or just a feral pest that should be eradicated?
The country’s past and present collide around the lives of wild horses and I wanted this romance to mirror that. So I created wild and restless Todd Williams, who, armed with a strong sense of justice, has made saving the wild horses his cause. And I imagined cautious and practical plant biologist Nora Hoffman, who’s documenting the negative effects the wild horses have on the native plants.
Then I gave Nora and Todd a past with a wild love. A first love so great neither of them could forget.
Wishing you joy,
Claire McEwen
A portion of my income from this book will go to charities working to ensure humane treatment and responsible, compassionate management of America’s wild horse and burro herds. For more information, please visit my website, clairemcewen.com (http://www.clairemcewen.com).
Wild Horses
Claire McEwen
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
CLAIRE MCEWEN lives by the ocean in Northern California with her husband, son and a scruffy, mischievous terrier. When not dreaming up new stories, she can be found digging in her garden with a lot of enthusiasm but, unfortunately, no green thumb. She loves discovering flea-market treasures, walking on the beach, dancing, traveling and reading, of course! Please visit her online at clairemcewen.com (http://www.clairemcewen.com).
For Peggy Adams, who rescued me with horses, humor and her beautiful, generous heart.
This book is the thank-you I didn’t say often enough.
And for Arik, who rescues me with love.
Thank you!
Contents
Cover (#ubdbd040e-d68c-53d7-9f72-68a6ab03fe7d)
Back Cover Text (#u11dac9b8-c22d-5f1d-9726-4b7f62824a90)
Introduction (#uca185eed-db51-5838-9a82-4b24874408e0)
Dear Reader (#udddd1c41-ae0d-5840-9798-e7c99e62492b)
Title Page (#u2c1dfbbd-c86a-5088-a8d5-f9c3824e914b)
About the Author (#u1a5672b0-1d78-5e91-ba48-f3da0ddc461d)
Dedication (#uf0b73fe5-527e-5a87-9bcd-6847db8665a5)
CHAPTER ONE (#ue2da2045-b674-544c-9620-b2f3eafa4f73)
CHAPTER TWO (#u2c3925b0-cc71-5aa7-a1b5-76ae5a547b9b)
CHAPTER THREE (#ue93dd350-de60-5fbe-9276-432f62f6cd72)
CHAPTER FOUR (#u5d19ced5-dec1-51f8-a326-5a872e9e5f00)
CHAPTER FIVE (#u10bfd422-634c-55e3-9ace-289f67add274)
CHAPTER SIX (#ub9581228-f494-5fa7-835b-6b31b09f7b4c)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#u67b3ed65-6745-5815-873d-2d2d553079cf)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FOURTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIFTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIXTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINETEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_f12c0553-6d59-540f-b1ad-b4d78282d1d9)
THE ODOR OF sagebrush rose spicy and rich as Nora wove between the low bushes. The crunch of the dry soil beneath her hiking boots fragmented the evening silence. All the scents and sounds of the high desert were magnified after dusk.
She shrugged her pack up higher, the tools, notebook and water bottles she carried heavy on her shoulders. The glamorous life of a plant biologist. There was nothing like the freedom and beauty of the Eastern Sierra landscape. But at moments like these, her muscles wobbly after fourteen hours on the trail, she wondered what it would be like to have a regular job. Maybe one that left her with some energy to go out with friends after work.
The image of herself dressed up, out for drinks or even some dancing, had her smiling wryly into the darkening night. Who was she kidding? She had no friends around here, and drinking and dancing had never really been her style. Her hot date tonight would be with her laptop and her notebook. After such a long and productive day, she had a ton of new information to organize. The hulking shadows of deserted storage buildings loomed into view, set at the top of the small rise ahead of her. Everyone had gone home already, and the Department of Range Management compound was silent. Nora couldn’t wait to be home, too, and beneath a hot shower.
An unfamiliar metallic clank stilled her thoughts and halted her steps. The sound came from the direction of the corrals, where wild mustangs, captured from the surrounding area, were waiting to be auctioned off. Nora had seen them, dim silhouettes in the dawn light, as she’d hiked out today. They’d been huddled together in one corner of the exposed, dusty corral, as if seeking comfort in each other’s company. She heard the clanking again. Maybe one of the horses was restless. Or could a predator be nearby, upsetting the poor captive animals?
But what should she do if coyotes, or a mountain lion, were harassing them? She moved quickly, keeping her footsteps quiet as she jogged toward the storage buildings. Maybe there was some kind of tool there that she could use to scare predators away.
Then the sound of metal slamming into metal ripped through the night again. And her heart slammed against her chest in answer. She froze and tried to calm herself—a gate must have come open, that was all. Then a man’s voice sliced through the night, shouting, “Go!” The command was distinct—and so was the answering whinny.
Nora felt an instant of gratitude that the intruder was human—at least she wouldn’t have to take on any coyotes. But the thought was interrupted by a heavy rumbling sound. Hoofbeats. Hoofbeats accompanied by shadows, darker than the darkness, thundering down the hill toward her. The mustangs weren’t in their pens anymore. They were panicked and heading her way. They’d trample her.
She raced toward a boulder a few yards away and threw herself in front it. Gravel shredded her skin on impact. She gasped as the tools in her belt stabbed into her hip and side. The sound of hooves was deafening, almost on top of her now. She didn’t dare look up, just rolled over and over until she was against the boulder, wishing fervently that it was a much larger piece of rock.
Then the horses were everywhere. Flooding around her measly shelter, so close she could feel the current they created in the air. The cacophony of their hoofbeats eclipsed her scream. She could hear them breathing and grunting as they swerved to avoid her rock. Pebbles, churned up by hooves, pelted the bare skin of her arms and legs. She screamed again, hoping to scare them, to divert their course away from her. But they just kept coming.
Pulling her pack over her head, Nora prayed it would protect her skull from the flying hooves. Cowering underneath it, her world narrowed to her next breath, her blood thundering almost as loudly as the wild horses stampeding around her.
Then they were gone. Instantly, blissfully gone. Their terrifying noise fading as the herd fled into the dark desert night. She lay still, the weight of her pack pressing her cheek into the soil.
The usual evening stillness returned, almost as if none of it had happened. Except it had. Nora had the tears on her cheeks, the stuttering heart, the ragged breath to prove it. Every nerve was on alert, every inhalation felt precious with the knowledge that she could so easily be lying here trampled, no breath in her body.
She hugged the earth, whispering a prayer of thanks. The gravel was rough beneath her cheek but she welcomed the discomfort—it meant she was still here. She closed her eyes and inhaled the dusty smell of soil and of life. She wanted, more than anything, to just go home.
She lifted her head and sat up stiffly, rubbing her hip and side. She would have some huge bruises tomorrow.
Heaving herself off the ground, Nora shouldered her pack and hobbled up the last gravelly rise to the storage sheds. She fumbled with the metal latch, her fingers trembling so much they were almost useless. Finally she got the door open and set her tool belt down just inside. She shut it, the latch a little easier to manipulate now as the adrenaline slowly drained from her system.
How had the gate come open? She remembered the voice, the shouted command. Had someone let the horses out on purpose? Why?
Inhaling another shaky breath, she turned away from the shed and crashed right into a man. The adrenaline was back in an instant, sending nerve endings firing to red alert. She absorbed him in a series of terrified impressions. Broad chest clothed in black. A ski mask. A coil of rope in his hand. A tool belt on his hips. He was all steel muscle—and he was reaching for her.
Nora screamed and shoved past him, running before she was even conscious that she’d moved. Reaching into her pocket, she scrabbled for her car keys. Her pulse pounded; her blood hissed in her ears. Her breathing rasped across the nighttime silence. Every movement felt too loud, too slow, not enough. Her backpack swung and bumped awkwardly on her back.
She heard him jogging behind her, the ease with which his long legs were keeping up with her short strides only adding to her horror. He was playing with her. There was no way she could lose him. If she could just get to her car, get inside, lock herself in, she might have a chance.
She reached her Jeep, wishing the taillights didn’t flash when she touched the unlock button on the remote. She yanked the door open and the interior light came on—a beacon.
“Wait.” The voice was low and quiet. A gloved hand stopped the door. Nora gasped and whirled to face him. He was a terrible shadow in the blackening night, looming over her, emanating power. Nausea filled her stomach as she realized just how alone she was out here and what kind of horrible things might happen next.
“Let me leave.” She tried to make her voice commanding, but it quavered.
“It’s you.” His voice was low, wondering, almost fearful. Not what she’d expected. His fingers left the door and found her wrist, coiling around it. The leather of his gloves felt clammy on her skin.
“What do you mean?” His grip didn’t hurt, but it was binding and scary. “Let go of me!”
“Don’t be afraid. I won’t hurt you. I swear.” But he didn’t loosen his hold on her.
“Then, let me go.” She sidled carefully to the right, as far from him as his arm would permit. The car light, no longer blocked by her frame, revealed a faint glint that was his eyes, but the ski mask kept everything else under cover. He studied her face intently, as if he was looking for something there.
Still, her heart thudded, almost hurting. “Please let me go home.” She hated the plaintive note in her voice.
It was too dark to see what color his eyes were, but they didn’t look as though they belonged to someone dangerous. She’d grown up with criminals—she knew what eyes with no conscience behind them looked like.
“I’ll let you go,” he promised, “once you agree not to call the sheriff.”
“You stole horses,” she stated.
“Freed horses,” he corrected.
“Let me go.”
“They were going to die here, slowly, brutally, sweltering in the heat. They’ve got no shade, no protection from the sun. They’re standing ankle-deep in dust, and the government doesn’t care.”
“I’m sorry. It’s terrible. Can I please go home?” Her heart was slowing to a more regular thud. She had one goal. To get out of here, fast.
“Have you seen them?”
What, he wanted to have a chat now? “Yes,” she told him.
“Did you know that a foal died last week, right here? It wouldn’t have died in the wild. They’re our country’s iconic wild horses and we’re leaving them here in squalor because the government can’t make up its mind about what to do with them.”
With her fear fading, anger crept in. He was some kind of ecowarrior. He’d freed the horses on principle, to keep them safe. But without thinking of human safety. “They almost killed me when they ran.”
He visibly recoiled. “You were out there?”
Her voice shook at the memory, and she gripped the door frame more tightly, fighting her fear. “I got behind a rock. Just barely. I was sure I’d be trampled.”
“I’m sorry.” The shock in his voice was audible. “I’m so sorry,” he repeated. He sounded truly upset. This was bizarre.
“Where are you taking them?” she asked. And then mentally kicked herself. Why was she still talking with this maniac? All she needed to do was agree with him and get out of here.
“Somewhere they’ll be free to roam and find the shade they need during the day.” He paused, hesitated. “Look...are you hurt? I’d feel horrible if...”
“I’m okay. But I want to leave.”
“Don’t call anyone.” The man shifted restlessly.
“I won’t. Now can I go?”
“Sure. Just hand me your phone.”
She hesitated.
“Hand me your phone, please.” He glanced over his shoulder again, obviously anxious to be done with this conversation and get on with his horse-liberation project. Reluctantly, Nora reached into her pocket and handed him her phone. With one quick flick of his wrist he sent it sailing out into the desert blackness.
“Hey!” Outrage made her fearless. “I told you I wouldn’t call.”
“I know.” Again he sounded genuinely apologetic. “But I have to make sure I have enough time to get out of here.”
As her fear subsided, a thought in the back of her mind solidified... His voice sounded familiar. How was that possible? Who did she know from around here who might free wild horses?
“Do we know each other?” she blurted out. And instantly regretted it. If he suspected she recognized him, would he hurt her?
Something changed. She could swear a current of worry ran through him. And she knew, without a doubt, that he knew her. He knew exactly who she was.
“No,” he said quickly. Too quickly. “Goodbye.” And he was gone, his footsteps crunching unevenly on the gravel as he jogged back across the parking lot. Whoever her masked man was, he had a limp.
She climbed into her Jeep and slammed the door, warm relief filling her veins as she hit the lock button. Turning the key, she welcomed the sound of the engine roaring to life, and floored the gas to get out of the parking lot as fast as possible. She didn’t know anyone with a limp, and right now she didn’t even care who he was. What mattered was that he was gone and by some miracle she was safe. All she wanted was to go home.
* * *
TODD RAN A hand over his face. Getting the scratchy wool mask off provided him with about a millisecond of relief from his shock and horror. Nora Hoffman. After all these years, Nora had been here in the dark, almost killed by the horses he’d released.
This was insane. It made no sense. Why was she here?
Nora, his ex-girlfriend, face-to-face with him. Afraid of him.
Nora, of all people, witnessing him doing something illegal. Nora who hadn’t so much as jaywalked when he’d known her back in college. When he’d loved her.
He urged his horse into a lope until he caught up to where Walt was riding, flanking the mustangs. The wild horses were moving quietly now. They were tired after their ordeal under the dubious care of the Department of Range Management. A few stumbled. “Do you think they’ll all make it?” he asked his friend.
“Elliot’s place is only eight miles northeast. It’s mostly flat. If we move them slowly, don’t run them, and nothing spooks them, we can get ’em there.”
Todd sighed in relief and dropped back again, determined to keep any stragglers moving forward to safety and relative freedom. Once again he thanked God, or whoever was in charge of this messed-up world, for eccentric billionaires like Elliot Baxter. The elderly and ornery businessman was happy to flout government procedures and let the horses live in peace on his vast empty acres. He’d even put up a miles-long boundary fence, just to make it clear to the world that this particular group of wild horses was off-limits to further intervention from DRM incompetents.
Wendell, the formerly wild mustang Todd rode, was calm, seemingly uninterested in returning to his feral roots. It was gratifying to have concrete evidence that he’d done something well, even if it was just training a horse.
He glanced up, looking for the solace he usually found in the infinite stars that hung in the summer sky east of the Sierras. But instead of peace, he found uneasy thoughts of Nora. Disbelief that she’d been here tonight. Such a bizarre—and almost deadly—coincidence.
She must have been absolutely terrified. Too clearly, he could picture the way it might have ended, with her body crumpled and lifeless on the ground. He shuddered and looked at the sky again, grateful beyond measure that she’d stayed safe.
He’d thought of her so often, especially since moving to his ranch outside the small town of Benson. He’d always known she’d come from this part of California—though in their years together she’d never told him the name of her hometown. She’d almost never spoken of her family. Just joked that they were trouble and that she’d divorced them.
What were the odds of seeing her tonight? He’d almost said her name while they were talking. He’d wanted to say it, to reveal himself, to somehow reconnect with the woman he’d left behind so abruptly nearly a decade ago. Though clearly tonight wasn’t the time for a reunion.
Since moving here, he’d assured himself that making his home east of the Sierras had nothing to do with Nora. He’d fallen in love with the rugged landscape, the contrast of high desert and majestic mountains, all on his own. But seeing her tonight... It felt like some kind of twisted fate.
Three dark shadows veered from the group, and Todd squeezed his legs against Wendell’s flanks, urging the horse into a gallop to come alongside the strays, moving them back into the herd. The moon was rising, a lopsided circle, almost full. They’d timed their work tonight perfectly, making sure the sky would be dark when they freed the horses, but lit by the moon for these next few miles.
Focus on the job at hand, he reminded himself. Seeing Nora tonight was just a strange coincidence. Something to think about later, when the stakes weren’t so high. Except his racing brain wouldn’t let it go. Wouldn’t let her go.
Do I know you? She’d almost recognized him, just because of his voice. He’d recognized hers almost immediately. The car light behind her had cast her face in shadow, but her voice had sent an eerie shock of recognition through him the moment he’d heard it. It had always been a little low, a little husky.
Stop. His mind was like a dog with one of those tug toys. It refused to let her go. If she was living around here, he’d have plenty of time to find out. One of the perks of owning an equipment repair shop in a small town were the customers who were happy to hang out and share all the latest news. People always said that women were the biggest gossips, but after three years repairing the tractors and trucks of Benson, Todd was pretty sure the men were the ones who truly liked to dish the dirt on their neighbors. He had no doubt he’d be able to get the scoop on Nora by noon tomorrow.
Until then, he had to keep his focus right here on the long night ahead. Once they rode out to Elliot’s and left the mustangs there, they still had to get back to his truck and horse trailer, parked alongside a deserted back road a few miles beyond. It wasn’t a perfect plan—an amateur tracker could trace them, no problem. But Todd was banking on his hunch that the government would be relieved to have the horses off their hands. He doubted they’d put their scarce resources into pursuing mustangs they’d locked up and left to die in the high desert heat.
Right now the animals were just tired shadows, moving uneasily through the dark. Todd eased Wendell back a little to match the herd’s slowing pace. He wished he could stay with them all night—to see them as the sun came up tomorrow when they realized they were free. It would be a joyous sight, but one he’d just have to imagine. He was due back in Benson to open up his shop and carry on as if this night had never happened—as if he’d never been out here under the stars risking everything, including the life of the one woman he’d never forgotten.
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_cd6500c4-bece-5eb1-9d74-1c717300cb74)
NORA OPENED THE tailgate and stared at the enormous pile of tools stacked in the back of the rickety old pickup. “How is it that we own five broken weed whackers?”
“And three mowers?” Wade pulled on his work gloves, ready to unload the mess. “And eight chain saws? And don’t forget the wood chipper with some company’s name scratched off it.”
“Stolen?” Nora glanced at her brother, her stomach knotting.
“I’d bet the ranch on it.”
Wade’s voice was flat, as if he was determined to shove any emotion somewhere deep down inside. He’d been like that ever since he left the army. Nora tried to ignore the prickling worry. It had only been a couple of weeks. She needed to give him time. No one came home from war all relaxed and happy.
Wade handed her a chain saw. “Looks like every time something broke, Dad just threw it into one of the outbuildings and swiped one from someone else. So far I’ve found four different sheds on the ranch, all packed with old tools. You have to take a look when we get home. You’ll be amazed.”
“Or horrified, more likely.” It was crazy how their dad still had the ability to embarrass her, even from wherever he was hiding in Mexico. How mortifying, and how totally predictable, that she and Wade were now responsible for all his stolen property. Her dad had always excelled at making huge messes and leaving them for other people to clean up. “What should we do with it all?”
“See what can be fixed, first off.” Wade pointed to the repair shop across the gravel parking lot.
“But after? Do you think we can find who used to own them?”
Her brother shrugged. “I hope so. And if we can’t, let’s just give it away.”
“Unbelievable.” Nora sighed and set the chain saw down on the gravel, yanking her own gloves from the back pocket of her jeans. When she’d agreed to help Wade get the family ranch going, she hadn’t realized there’d be more public humiliation involved.
“Do you ever think about how Dad’s doing down in Mexico?” Wade set a blower on the ground and reached for another. “Whether Arch and Blake are still with him?”
“Honestly?” Nora pulled on another chain saw, tugging it free of the pile. “I try not to think about them. I know I should... He’s my dad and they’re my brothers. But I figure they’re probably in trouble down there, too. I mean, stealing farm equipment was just a hobby. Do you really think they’d give up dealing drugs and all the other stuff they were into?”
“Probably not,” Wade grunted as he tried to heave the chipper out.
“And who knows if they’re even still alive? All it would take would be cheating the wrong guy, or infringing on someone else’s territory for them to be killed down there.” Nora glanced at her younger brother, worried that she shouldn’t have voiced her fears. Decades of protecting him made the instinct automatic. But he just looked mildly frustrated, untangling a power cord that had wrapped itself around the leg of the chipper. Sometimes she forgot he was all grown up and a veteran, as well. “So I guess that’s the long way of saying no, I don’t think about them very often. Or at least, I try not to.”
Wade got the cord off and yanked at the chipper again. “Well, that’s probably the best way to handle it, at this point.”
Nora looked away from the overwhelming mess in the truck, to where the granite peaks of the Sierras rose abruptly from the hills beyond town. “I know I sound harsh, but they weren’t exactly kind to us. Do you think of them?”
“He’s my dad,” Wade answered simply. “They’re my brothers. Of course I think of them. And I hope they’re okay. But I don’t miss them.”
Nora pondered that statement for a moment. Wade might be a decorated soldier who’d done two tours of duty in Afghanistan, but in many ways he had a gentler heart than she did. He didn’t hold the same grudges against their dad. Of course, as the youngest, he’d had Nora, three years his senior, to protect him from a lot of their father’s craziness. She turned away from the mountains. “Well, whoever owns this repair shop nowadays is going to love us,” she said. “We’ll probably pay his mortgage for the next year, getting all this stuff fixed.”
Wade glanced at her. “This is my first time coming into town.”
She understood the anxiety written on his face. She had it, too. “It’s not that bad. When I went out to get groceries, most people just stared. You know they’re dying to ask about Dad, or Arch and Blake, but they don’t know how.” Grabbing a weed whacker in each hand, she forced an upbeat note into her voice. “Come on, let’s do this.” She started toward the battered garage with Mountain Machinery Repair painted in blue above the door. A couple of tractors were parked alongside the building and a riding mower was just inside, most of its internal parts scattered around it. “Hello?” she called into the cavernous entrance. “Anyone here?”
“Hang on,” a deep voice echoed from the back of the shed. The clank of something metal made her jump—she was still shaken from her encounter with the mustangs last night. Footsteps approached, a welcome relief from the memory of the stampede.
A man’s figure emerged from the gloom and Nora could see his frame in the shadows, tall and lanky. Then he stepped into the afternoon light and she gasped, shock paralyzing her lungs for a suffocating second. She reeled backward and crashed into Wade. Her hip bumped the handle of the chain saw he carried. “Ouch!” Tears welled in her eyes, from the pain, or emotion, or both.
“Jeez, Nora, be careful!” Her brother steadied her against him and then stepped carefully to the side. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she lied, clutching her throbbing hip bone and staring at the proprietor of the machine shop. Todd Williams? How was this possible? He was staring back, but not in shock. Instead, he looked wary. Probably thought she’d smack him with her weed whacker. She’d certainly dreamed of smacking him plenty of times since the day he’d dumped her.
She’d know that face under the faded John Deere cap anywhere. The high cheekbones, the green eyes, the sandy hair, the wide mouth. Her college boyfriend. The guy who’d broken her heart into a million pieces nine years ago. Pieces she’d never been able to put back together in quite the same way.
Case in point. Right now she was a mess, while Todd seemed pretty calm. After all this time, it was still easier to be the dumper than the dumped.
Todd looked at Wade. “Afternoon.”
“Afternoon,” Wade returned the greeting. “I’m Wade Hoffman. Are you the owner of this shop?”
“I am,” Todd answered. He paused for a fraction of a second then gave his name. “Todd Williams.”
Nora felt suddenly nauseous, as if some part of her had been hoping that she’d been mistaken. Though she knew that was impossible.
“Good to meet you,” Wade said. “This is my sister, Nora. We’re hoping to get some work done on a bunch of equipment.”
“Hey, Todd.” She tried to make the words sound casual but instead there was an awkward squeak in her voice. Her face felt hot.
She saw him swallow once before he answered. “Hey, Nora.” His expression was guarded, his jaw tense.
Nora forced herself to keep her gaze steady. She waited for him to say more, the silence growing awkward in its length. Finally he broke it. “Long time, no see.”
“Wait, you know him?” Wade turned to look at Nora in surprise.
“We went to college together.” Todd stepped forward with his hand out. “Good to see you again.”
It wasn’t good to see him and the last thing she wanted to do was shake his hand. But no other option came to mind, so Nora set down one of her weed whackers and held her hand out. Glancing down, she realized she was still wearing her filthy leather glove. “Hang on,” she muttered, setting down the other tool to pull off her gloves, cursing this awful situation.
She’d wondered, over the years, what it would be like if she ever saw Todd again. In her imagination she’d always been well dressed, made-up, calm and in control. She’d pictured regret in his eyes when he looked at her and finally realized what he’d given up.
In reality, she must look pathetic. Sweaty, streaked in grease, staggering into her brother, in possession of stolen property. There certainly wasn’t any regret to be seen in Todd’s expression. Just discomfort while he waited with his hand out, and she wrestled with her glove, which was inexplicably stuck on her knuckles.
Finally her hand was free and he took it in his own. She should have left the glove on, because the touch of his skin brought it all back in an instant—how much she’d loved holding hands with him, how right it had felt to be linked together like that. All the years between them evaporated in his warm grip. Then his hand was gone and she was back in the present, standing in a machine shop with a stolen weed whacker on either side of her.
“What are you doing here?” She tried to sound as if she barely cared what his answer would be, but her words came out too abruptly. Wade glanced her way and she saw one of his eyebrows go up. For an instance she regretted how close she was with her brother. Nothing about this bizarre situation would get by him.
“Working.” He stated the obvious and left her feeling stupid.
“In Benson?” His presence here made no sense. It was as if she’d found a tropical plant growing out among all the high desert scrub.
“I came out here to do some environmental work a few years ago. I fell in love with the area. The work dried up, but I stayed.”
“I never knew you could fix things.” She should stop interrogating him, but how? She had so many questions.
He looked down for a minute, finally seeming as uncomfortable as she was. “Well, I learned an awful lot about how machines work in my...” He seemed to search for his words. “In my environmental career.”
“Huh.” Brilliant comeback, Nora. She tried to think of what to say next, but her mind lit on random details instead. The slight curl in his hair where it lay against his neck. The unique green-gold color of his eyes.
In college she’d loved the feeling that she could lose herself in those eyes like she might lose herself in a forest, walking from patches of dark green to sunlight. But then he’d left. And she’d still been lost. It had taken years to find herself again.
He broke the awkward silence. “So is this where you grew up?”
She listened, in between his stumbling words, for the regret she’d always wished he’d feel. Then she caught herself and stopped. Whatever he was feeling didn’t matter. They were ancient history and she needed to pull herself together.
But it was unfathomable. Todd Williams was a machine repair guy in Benson? The information ricocheted around her brain, disorienting her. “Yes. I...” She glanced at Wade, “I mean, we grew up on a ranch just outside town. Marker Ranch. It’s been empty for years. Wade is fixing it up again. I’m just helping him out for a while.”
“So you don’t live here. I mean, permanently.”
He seemed relieved. That stung. Nora willed a carefree note into her voice. “Nope. My work usually keeps me moving every few months.”
“Great.” Todd shifted uncomfortably and looked out into the parking lot, probably hoping some other customer would show up and rescue him.
There was another pause, and then Wade came to their rescue. “So where do you live—in town?”
“Actually I’ve got some land south of town.” Todd smiled and the enthusiasm in his expression made something inside Nora’s heart hurt. “I love it out there. I spend a lot of time working with horses, hiking, fishing and snowboarding come winter.”
“This area’s amazing for all of that. Do you fish?”
“Hell, yeah!”
Nora listened in disbelief as her brother and her ex started talking about the various local streams, the best trout and the best flies to catch them at this time of year. It all seemed so surreal that Nora stealthily reached down and pinched herself on her leg. It hurt, so, yes, this was really happening.
She stole a glance at Todd. He seemed taller, though that was hardly possible. Maybe it was the bulk on his frame now. He’d been slim in college, and he still didn’t seem to have an ounce of fat on him, but his thighs and arms were thick with muscle, his chest broad and his shoulders square. His face was different, as well. New lines were etched where there had previously been none. Smile lines crinkled around his eyes, and a faint furrow formed between his brows.
He’d worn his hair long in college, almost shoulder length. Now it was cropped pretty short, though still visibly shaggy and sun-bleached an inch or two below his ball cap in the back. It was eerie to see the ghost of the boy she’d known so well underneath the man—the stranger—he was now.
He glanced her way and caught her staring. So what? She had the right to stare after all these years. The last time she’d seen him, he’d dropped by her house on the way to the airport, his backpack slung over his shoulder, bulging with the supplies he was taking to the Amazon. He’d been off to save the rain forest, excited for his trip. She’d been miserable, so sad to say goodbye.
And now here he was. Laughing and ingratiating himself with her brother. Of course this moment was a lot easier for him. He’d headed off to Brazil happy. His heart hadn’t been blown to bits by their breakup. It was rude to interrupt but she did so anyway. “I don’t get it. Why here? Why Benson? Why my hometown?”
His voice was calm and rational, and she remembered how he’d always been like this. Easygoing to a point where it seemed as though nothing ever really touched him. Including her. “I didn’t know it was your hometown, Nora. You never told me where you lived—not exactly.”
She turned away, toward the parking lot, hoping she looked bored, not as if she was blinking back the tears that prickled unexpectedly.
But he sensed her emotion. He always had. His low voice gentled. “Anyway, you’d always told me you’d never go back home again.”
That was supposed to make her feel better?
Wade was glancing from Nora to Todd and back again. “Just to clarify...you guys dated?”
“Yes.” Todd let out a heavy sigh, as if the thought pained him. “For three years.”
“Right.” Wade glanced at Nora, one raised eyebrow signifying a whole lot of questions she’d have to answer later. Then he turned back to Todd. “Well, we’re hoping you could take a look at all these tools. If they can be repaired fairly cheaply, we’d like to do it. Otherwise, maybe you can point us to the nearest junkyard.”
Todd smiled. He was probably thrilled to get back to business and avoid further conversation with his crazy ex-girlfriend.
She didn’t blame him. She must look a little wild right now. Between getting run over by wild horses last night and meeting Todd today, Nora was starting to feel like coming home to Benson had been an even worse idea than she’d feared.
“Why don’t we get your truck unloaded and I’ll take a look,” Todd said. The two men started toward the pickup, but Nora stayed where she was, studying the interior of the shop as if it mattered, trying to slow her pulse and gather her thoughts. The oily smell was actually kind of soothing. The smell of everyday reality. She breathed it in, hoping it would restore her sanity.
She heard Wade and Todd returning. Wade was saying something about trying to remove some rust. She forced herself to join them as they headed back to the truck again, trailing a few steps behind, so she wouldn’t have to join their conversation. After a few miserable trips, they set the last of the tools down on the ground.
“Nice to meet you, Todd.” Wade shook her ex-boyfriend’s hand. “Come on by the ranch if you want to go fishing sometime.” He turned to Nora. “You want to stay and talk with Todd for a bit? I can do a couple errands and then come back.”
“I’m ready to go now,” she said quickly. No way did she want to be left alone with Todd.
“Nora, could you stay a minute?” Todd fixed his green gaze on her, and she silently, sternly, forbade her knees from weakening. “It’s been years. It would be great to catch up.”
Catch up? As if they were old buddies who could just have a chat, share their latest news and then go on their way? As if there hadn’t been emotions between them deeper than anything she’d ever known before?
“Wade and I have a lot of chores to do, so we should probably get going.” It wasn’t a lie; their to-do list was easily several feet long and the day was nearly over.
“Tonight,” Todd said. “Can we meet for a drink?”
Nora glanced at Wade for some kind of rescue, but her brother just shrugged his shoulders in a singularly unhelpful way.
“Sure.” She sighed. So many years of thinking about Todd made it impossible to say no. She was still so full of questions. “I’ll meet you at the Dusty Saddle. At eight.”
The Dusty Saddle was a dive bar on the edge of town. Not a place anyone would want to linger and a good way to keep their drink short. Which was perfect because seeing Todd again was wreaking havoc in her heart. Hell, the way she was feeling right now, she could down a beer in about thirty seconds flat. She’d fit right in at the Saddle.
“Sounds fine.” Todd smiled and she recognized the faint curl to his lips when he did. She used to tease him that he smiled as if he was in on some private joke. He’d always answered that it wasn’t a joke—he was just smug because he knew he’d gotten the best girl. She wondered how he explained it nowadays.
“Okay,” she mumbled. “See you then.”
“I’ll look forward to it.” Todd leaned down and grabbed a couple of their dilapidated chain saws. He held them as if they weighed nothing. “See you around, Wade. I’ll give you a call with an estimate. And I’d like to take you up on that fishing invite soon.” He turned and started toward the back of the shop.
Nora watched him walk into the shadowy interior, trying to ignore the way his worn jeans fit him perfectly, and the slight swagger in his stride that she didn’t remember from when she’d known him before. It took effort to turn away, but she followed Wade to the truck, her brain tumbling like a clothes dryer, each random thought twisting and turning as it cycled around. And then one image came to the surface, clearly separate from the emotional tangle. The image of Todd, walking away just now. It wasn’t a swagger that she’d seen. His footsteps were uneven. Todd walked with a limp.
And then she knew, with a thud in her stomach, why the voice of the masked man had sounded so familiar. It had been Todd’s voice in the dark last night. It was Todd who’d chased her and grabbed her arm and thrown her phone. Todd Williams was the masked man who’d freed the wild horses.
CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_83f11cc0-359f-510a-bdfc-c52d3dcf80f3)
NORA LEANED OUT of the truck window, staring at the blue-gray blur of sagebrush rushing by, letting the hot afternoon breeze snap her hair in every direction. It was a good thing Wade was at the wheel, because her hands were shaking and her stomach heaved.
Anger was bubbling inside her like lava, flowing over her initial surprise and leaving sharp edges and disjointed thoughts in its wake. Todd had freed the horses. He was the idiot who’d terrified her in the dark. He’d almost gotten her killed. He lived here, in Benson. Her mind jumped between topics, between their past and the present, as she tried to make some kind of sense of what she’d learned.
Wade stopped the truck in front of their shabby ranch house. Nora stared at the peeling paint and sagging porch, seeing it with new eyes. Todd’s eyes. She’d always hid her impoverished, messed-up past from him. But soon he would know. Moving back here and facing that past had been hard. It would be harder with Todd Williams in town to witness her struggles.
A shutter banged in the late-afternoon breeze. The amount of work the house needed was overwhelming. And when you combined that with what the ranch required, it was mind-boggling. Luckily Wade was fearless. Nora wasn’t sure she’d ever take on a project as large as revitalizing this ranch on her own. But the impossible nature of it seemed to spur Wade on and give him a focus as he got used to life outside the army, life away from war. And for that she was grateful. So grateful she’d offered to help him out. To move back to the childhood home she’d vowed to never set foot in again.
Now she wished that she’d let him return home on his own. That she’d just offered financial support—a check in the mail from someplace far away from Todd.
She realized, suddenly, that Wade hadn’t moved, either. They were sitting in the truck in silence—except for the noise of Wade’s fingers tapping restlessly on the steering wheel.
“You’re angry.” She stared at him in surprise. Wade rarely got angry with her. Or anyone.
“Yeah, I guess so.” Her brother looked straight ahead, not at her.
“Why?”
“Because you never told me about him.” He turned to face her then, his dark brown eyes narrowed in frustration. “He dumped you, didn’t he? Right after college. Right before you took me with you to Nevada.”
“So?” She didn’t want to talk about that time. Didn’t want to remember how lost she’d felt. “It was none of your concern.”
“Yes, it was. I’m your brother. We lived together. You think I didn’t notice how sad you were? That I didn’t wonder why you got up every morning with red eyes?”
“You could have asked.” She sounded like the sullen teenager that he’d been back then. But she was ashamed at the memories—at the way she’d totally fallen apart.
“I did ask, Nora! You told me you had allergies, but I never bought that. You wouldn’t choose to be a plant biologist if you had hay fever. I never could figure out what was wrong.”
Nora smiled faintly at his logical conclusion. “I didn’t know you were worried.”
“I heard you crying. A lot. I thought maybe it was all the stuff that was happening with Dad. Or having to take care of me.”
She turned in her seat to face him then, and touched his shoulder gently. “I never minded taking care of you.”
“I just worried that...well...” He glanced away for a moment. “I was a brat.”
“You were a teenager, and I took you away from your hometown, so of course you acted out. But you were my brat, you know?” She reached over and ruffled his short hair. “You were my family.”
He glared at her, refusing to be teased out of his frustration. “Then, you should have told me what was really going on.”
He was probably right. But she didn’t want to admit it. “I guess I figured my little brother didn’t need to know the details of my love life.”
“A three-year relationship is more than a detail, Nora. And it might have explained a lot. About how you were.”
She didn’t want to talk about those dark days. “I was fine.” She glared at Wade, daring him to challenge her lie.
Her brother just shook his head.
“Okay, I wasn’t fine,” she admitted. “But I was embarrassed that I was such a mess. Plus, I didn’t think you’d care that your boring older sister got dumped.”
“I did care. I still do.” Wade glanced at her, then away again. “I’ve noticed that you never go out with anyone for long. Is Todd the reason for that?”
“No!” He’d put into words what worried her, but accepting that, saying it out loud, would make it real. She refused to be that pathetic. “I guess I never told you about Todd because I wanted to keep him separate from the rest of my life, you know? Because of Dad and Arch and Blake.”
Wade was silent for a moment, fingers drumming again. “So you fell in love with pretty boy there, but never told him where you were from or what you’d been through. Or about how you were taking care of me?”
“Trust me, he’s not pretty. Not to me, at least, not anymore.” Saying it out loud was the first step to believing it. “But yes, I fell in love. And I never told him anything about our family.”
“I don’t know much about relationships, sis, but I know that’s not a very good foundation for one.” Wade shook his head and looked at her with dismay.
He was right. She’d been ridiculously private. Love couldn’t thrive with so many secrets. “I didn’t want him to see me the way everyone else always had, as poor Nora Hoffman from the crazy family. College was a chance to just be me, without all that baggage.”
“I guess it makes sense, in a twisted kind of way.” He gave her that dismayed look again. “And you broke up because...”
“After college he wanted to work in the Amazon rain forest. To stop the deforestation.”
“Why didn’t you go with him? It sounds like something that would’ve been right up your alley.”
She remembered how much she’d wanted to. How her sorrow over losing Todd had been mixed with jealousy and regret and resentment. “I didn’t go because of money. Those jobs pay nothing. The only reason Todd could go was because his family is rich and he didn’t need to work. He could afford a job like that. I couldn’t. I needed to be practical.”
“And support me.” He looked grim. “Your baggage.”
“No!” She smacked him then, lightly, on the shoulder. Like she used to when they were kids. “You weren’t the reason I didn’t go, Wade. I couldn’t have survived on the tiny stipend they were offering. No one could. Plus, I had that great fellowship at the University of Nevada for my graduate work. It made sense to accept it, and I was happy to take you with me. You needed to get out of Benson.”
“You saved me, you know. If you hadn’t done that, I’d probably be hiding out in Mexico with our brothers right now, doing God knows what.”
It would have broken her heart if he’d become like them. “You were always a good kid, Wade. You would have found your way even if I hadn’t stepped in.”
“But I wasn’t finding my way. I was stealing cars. The one I got caught with? It wasn’t the first.”
Tension crept up Nora’s neck, and all the aches from her fall last night started to throb. “I didn’t know. But I’m glad it was your last.”
“Me, too. Like I said, you saved me.”
She’d never heard her brother speak so emotionally. And it gave her the chance to say what she’d wanted to ever since he’d come home from war just weeks ago. “I’m proud of you, you know. So proud of what you did in Afghanistan. And of what you’re trying to do here, with the ranch.”
“It’s nothing.” His expression changed, snapped shut almost as clearly as if he’d slammed a door in her face. It happened every time she brought up the war.
“It’s not nothing! It takes guts to come back to Benson. I wouldn’t have—”
“Except I asked you to,” he finished. He looked straight at her then. “You know I really appreciate this, right? You’ve always been there for me, and here you are again.”
“I want to be here. I missed you while you were away. And, coincidentally, I’d just got the contract to do this plant study, so I was planning to be in the area anyway.” It was a lie—but just a small one. She’d found the job after Wade had asked her to come home. He didn’t need to know that.
He also didn’t need to know how worried she’d been—and still was. She’d read the news articles about combat veterans feeling lost once they got home. Ex-soldiers turning to drugs, becoming homeless or even committing suicide. And all her old protective instincts had kicked in. No way would she let any of that happen to Wade.
So here she was. And if this ranch was his dream, then she’d do anything she could to help it be a success. She’d even face Todd Williams tonight in a bar. Hopefully it would give her some closure—enough peace of mind that when she saw him around town it would simply be like seeing any other person she used to know.
Wade reached for the door handle. “And I think that’s enough heartfelt discussion for today. If my buddies in my platoon were here right now, they’d never let me live this conversation down.”
Nora laughed. “Well, just to make them really cringe... I love you.”
He didn’t actually cringe, but he winced a little. Then he smiled at her. “Back atcha, sis.”
“Come to the bar with me tonight?”
It was Wade’s turn to laugh. “You mean front row for the awkward show as you reunite with your ex? No thanks.”
Nora’s smile thinned. “Trust me, there will be no reuniting.”
“Good.” Wade elbowed her gently in the upper arm. “If he tries anything, kick his ass for me?”
She was tempted to tell Wade what Todd had done. That he’d stolen horses and almost killed her in the process. But it wasn’t Wade’s job to fight her battles. Resolve had her sitting up straighter. Yes. She would kick his ass. Maybe not with her fists, but certainly with her words. With her attitude. With all the fear and outrage that had kept her awake last night, haunted by the sounds of the horses’ hooves above her head. “Will do.”
“Excellent. Just don’t drink too much. And if you do, call me and I’ll come get you.”
“Thanks.” Nora didn’t mention that she no longer owned a cell phone, courtesy of Todd, the masked man. Anxiety had her breath catching. She’d witnessed a crime but hadn’t reported it. Didn’t that make her guilty, too?
But she hadn’t been able to bring herself to report it. She’d walked by the mustangs every workday for the past couple weeks and seen them listless under the hot sun. She’d been disturbed by their misery, but she’d done nothing. She might hate Todd’s methods, but she couldn’t fault his reasons.
The problem was, during all the years she’d raised Wade, she’d preached honesty. She’d made sure he understood how important it was to obey laws and rules and not participate in their family’s criminal lifestyle. How could she explain to him that she was choosing to overlook something illegal?
Frustration fueled her anger further. Todd Williams was pure trouble. It was telling that the moment he reentered her life, he put her in this kind of dilemma.
She shoved open her door and jumped out of the truck. Reaching into the back, she grabbed the rope they’d used to tie down the broken tools. “I’ll bring this back to the barn.”
“I’ll take it,” Wade offered. “Go get ready for your date.”
“It’s not a date!”
He took the rope from her hand, laughter making him look younger than he had in a while. “It’s my duty, as your brother, to tease you. Now go shower.”
She must really look bad if he was shooing her off to get cleaned up. “Thanks.” She turned and headed for the house.
Inside, she went straight to the bathroom. Caught in the mirror, her grim expression made her face look different. It belonged to someone older. Someone angrier. And dirtier. Grease coated her hands, and black finger marks were smeared across her forehead. Her jeans were more brown than blue and her T-shirt had a cobweb down one side. Not the look she’d envisioned for herself when she’d imagined seeing Todd again.
Staring at her reflection, she traced the vertical crease between her brows and the frown lines around her mouth, leaving trails of black grease behind. It looked like war paint. Which was fitting. Todd, the masked man, was unmasked, and he would get a lot more than a beer when he met her at the Dusty Saddle tonight.
CHAPTER FOUR (#ulink_2fc6c5bc-064c-5e0d-a6ee-2915234f0934)
NORA STARED INTO her glass of mediocre white wine and considered finishing the rest of it in one gulp. Like some kind of medicine for her hurt pride. Todd was standing her up. Either that or he was extremely late. It didn’t matter, because now she was reminded of how often he’d been late for things toward the end of their relationship. It wasn’t a part of her past she cared to relive.
He’d always had a good excuse, rushing in from meeting with one environmental group or another, blaming his tardiness on an issue that had to be discussed. But the truth was, at the end of college, at the end of them, he’d loved his activism way more than her. She’d notice him during their dates glancing at his watch to make sure he was on time for his next event. Their time together must have seemed boring to him compared to all that political urgency.
It wasn’t that she didn’t support his causes. She wanted people to stop cutting down the rain forest, too. She wanted wars to end and endangered species to be saved and oil spills to be stopped. But she hadn’t felt the same need to devote her entire life to protesting those problems.
Plus, she’d had her own cause back then. Wade. Maybe it was just a small cause, but it had been hers for as long as she could remember. Wade was so bright, and he was her baby brother, and she’d spent her childhood keeping him safe. When she’d gone away to college she’d been sure that if she could just keep him on track and get him through high school, he’d be okay.
So she’d worked extra jobs and sent him the money. She’d paid for cell phones so they could talk daily. And during those conversations, she tried to override the negative influence of their dad and brothers. And when that hadn’t worked, she’d driven to Marker Ranch to take him with her when she’d started grad school.
Nora took one last gulp of her bad wine and stood up, pulling her jacket off the adjacent bar stool. She wasn’t that love-struck college girl anymore. She didn’t have any reason to wait around for Todd in a dive bar.
“Nora!” Todd strode across the stained floor, bringing the scent of fresh night air with him. He wore faded jeans and leather hiking boots, and a piece of straw clung to his hair. She reached up automatically and pulled it off, then jerked her hand back when she realized what she’d done.
“I’m sorry I’m late. One of my mares is foaling. I’ve got people with her now, but I had to wait for them to get there before I could leave.”
She set her coat back down, uncertain what to do now. It was, as usual, a reasonable excuse.
“Let me buy you a drink. Please don’t go. I would have called but I didn’t have your number...” His voice trailed off and she knew he was making the connection to the previous night. The look of discomfort on his face was almost funny.
“Plus you know that I don’t have a phone. Right?”
He was silent, staring. And then she saw it...the realization, creeping across his face in slow motion. He knew that she knew who he was. And what he’d done. His eyes went wide and his bronzed skin paled a shade. “Nora, I’m...”
“Sorry you chucked my phone into the desert? I went back this morning, but I couldn’t find it. You have a good arm.”
“You know it was me.” It came out heavily, with regret and maybe some relief.
“Yes.” She studied him, trying to picture the mask on his face. Now that she knew it was him, it was hard to imagine how she’d not seen it.
“I’ll get you a new phone. I promise. Tomorrow.” He gestured toward the bar. “Stay? Have a drink with me? We obviously have a few things to discuss.”
It was tempting to leave. To leave him uncomfortable and wondering what she’d do next. But unfinished business would leave her uncomfortable, too. “Only if you order me something way better than this wine.”
He winced. “Ugh. I forgot that you like wine. This is not the place to drink it. How about something a little more foolproof? Beer?”
“Vodka.” She needed something stiffer than beer to face him. He looked so damn good and she was so angry. “And tonic.” She waited while he ordered for both of them.
“So,” he said, putting a few dollars of tip on the bar and picking up the drinks. “Maybe we should head over to a quiet corner?”
“Why, so we can discuss your criminal activity discreetly?” She wanted to shout it, but instead tossed the words quietly over her shoulder as she led the way to a booth tucked against the back wall and sat down on the scarred wooden bench. Todd took a seat on the other side of the table and slid her vodka toward her. She took a sip and waited. He’d asked her here—no way was she making it easy for him.
“I guess it could be considered criminal. I’m sorry about your phone. I didn’t know what else to do.”
Anger, hot and self-righteous, was almost soothing in its purity. “Really? You almost killed me out there and you want to keep talking about the phone?”
“Well, it’s a start.” His eyes were deer-in-headlights wide.
“I was huddled behind a rock, with the horses jumping over me inches from my head! I thought that was it. That I was going to die. And you want to talk about my phone?”
“No... I just... I’m just sorry, Nora.”
He looked so totally miserable that she felt a grim satisfaction. Enough to soften a little. “What were you thinking?”
He reached for her hand but she yanked it back.
“It never occurred to us...to me...that anyone would be walking out there after dark. I can’t apologize enough. We only wanted to help the horses. When I realized I’d put you in danger, I regretted the entire thing.”
“You knew it was me.” She’d wondered if that was why he’d looked more worried than surprised in his shop today.
“I recognized your voice, but at first I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t think straight.” He took a long pull of his beer but never took his eyes off her. He was still wary. Probably wondering if she’d tell the authorities what she knew.
“Do you usually go around grabbing strange women in the middle of the night?”
“No! Never.” He flushed red, right over his cheekbones.
“You’re lucky I didn’t just have a heart attack on the spot. First I almost got killed, then a masked man grabbed me in the dark... It’s every woman’s nightmare.” Her voice shook a little and she cursed the emotion welling in her chest. She wasn’t here to cry. It was better to attack. “You were an idiot to follow me across the parking lot like that. A complete idiot.”
“I didn’t think about how scary it would be for you. All I could think was that I didn’t want you to call the sheriff.”
“Well, I can’t say as I’m surprised. You always put your causes before anything else.”
He looked at her intently. “You’re talking about the rain forest. After college.”
Nora hid her blush in a long swallow of the icy vodka. How could she have referred to the past like that? How could it still matter? “Well, you always were preoccupied with causes.”
“I guess you’re right.” He picked up the cap from his beer bottle and rolled it in a slow circle on the tabletop. “How did you know it was me last night?”
“I didn’t. Not last night. Your voice sounded familiar but I couldn’t place it. But when you walked away through the gravel... Your steps were uneven. And then today at the shop...” She wasn’t sure how to mention his disability.
“You saw me limping.” He finally met her eyes. His were dark green in the dim light. “I’m so sorry, Nora. I can’t believe that after all these years, we ran into each other like this. And that I put you in danger...and scared you. I don’t know how to make it up to you.”
“I’ll just add it to the list of things you can’t fix.” The words were out before she’d thought them through. Before she realized she was digging her embarrassing hole even deeper.
“You know, you chose not to go with me,” he said softly. “I wanted you to come to Brazil. You turned me down.”
She hadn’t had a choice, but to be fair, she’d never really explained that to him. “I’m just cynical when it comes to you, I guess.”
“I probably deserve that.” He didn’t have to elaborate. All the old angst hung between them like a line of limp, damp laundry. It was depressing. She didn’t want to argue anymore.
“How’d it happen?” She changed the subject, nodding her head toward his leg, which extended straight out in front of him under the table.
“A run-in with a bulldozer.”
It wasn’t at all what she’d expected. “A bulldozer?”
“I was down in Brazil on that rain forest project. They were going to clear-cut a whole new area near where we were working. No one was paying any attention to the science we were doing. I got fed up and I joined some locals in a protest to try to stop it. I lay down in front of a bulldozer. The driver saw me, but he just kept coming.”
“And you just stayed there.” He shrugged and she stared at him in disbelief. “You were always stubborn, but that’s taking it to a new level!”
There was regret in his wry smile. “I figured he’d stop at the last minute.”
“But he didn’t.”
“Nope. Went right over my leg as I tried to scramble out of the way.” He took another drink and looked out over the bar instead of at her. “Scariest game of chicken I ever played.”
She tried to picture what it would be like, to have a bulldozer coming toward her, intent on murder. To feel it crush you. She shivered.
“The locals carried me on a stretcher for a couple hours to the nearest village,” he continued “Then I was put in the back of a truck for the ride to the hospital.
“It took hours to get there—I honestly didn’t think I’d make it. I passed out from the pain. When I woke up in the hospital, they’d pieced my leg together. Then I came back to the states and convalesced at my parents’ house for a few months, listening to them tell me all the ways I’d disappointed them.”
“I’m sorry you got hurt.” Even in her bleakest moments she’d never wished him this kind of pain.
“Me, too. I had a lot of time to lie in bed and wish I’d never taken that job. That I’d stayed in the States. With you.”
The words she’d wanted to hear for so long, right there between them on the table. Now that they’d been said, Nora realized that no matter how many times she’d imagined him saying them, she’d never imagined her answer. She stared at him, but he was still looking out over the bar, lost in memory. Maybe he didn’t even realize what he’d said. The gulp she took of her vodka went down with a burn and she coughed.
The sound seemed to bring Todd back to the present. If he was self-conscious about his confession, he masked it with a smile. “On the upside, I got a pretty big settlement. Turned out the guy who drove that bulldozer worked for one of the world’s biggest timber companies. I had money to buy my ranch and my machine shop. Plus, now I can predict the weather with my leg.” He took a swallow of beer, grinned, and the cocky college boy she’d loved was suddenly right there in front of her.
She couldn’t help but smile back. “So you’re the guy I call when I want to know if rain is coming?”
“So far I’ve been right ninety-seven percent of the time. I’ve been keeping a spreadsheet.”
She laughed outright. “Why am I not surprised by that? Geek.”
He laughed softly and she had to look away. He was too familiar, still so beautiful, with a smile that lit his whole face, slashed dimples in his cheeks and added a spark of delight to his eyes.
“Some things don’t change.” He lifted his bottle in her direction. “To old friends.” But the way he held her gaze, just a little too long, told her he was thinking about more. About what they’d been and how they’d been. About afternoons tangled up in his bed and nights sitting on his roof, watching the stars, reading poetry out loud by flashlight. He was remembering how crazy in love they’d been, so that it seemed the stars they watched were wheeling overhead in a private show just for them. He was remembering, suddenly, the utter magic of it all. The magic she’d never been able to forget.
“To old friends,” she answered, watching him clink his bottle to her glass. The sound was oddly festive, and very much at odds with the worry in her heart.
CHAPTER FIVE (#ulink_dd22edd2-ba5e-5ef9-958e-819c3e1e4aa0)
NORA TOOK A gulp of her vodka. Todd’s toast was to old friends, and old was the key word here. A reminder that her memories of him should stay in the past where she’d buried them. Just because Todd was handing her a shovel didn’t mean she had to start digging them back out.
Luckily, remembering what was wrong wasn’t that difficult. All she had to do was touch the bruises on her hip. Or take a deep breath and feel the pinch under her ribs. She peppered her question with just a little sarcasm. “So are wild horses your new cause?”
“I guess they are. Not the cause I moved out here for, though. I was hired to manage a campaign to prevent fracking in this area. But when that project was over, I was burned-out. I mean, we’d stopped the destruction here for now, but they’re still tearing up the rest of the earth for natural gas. It just felt futile. I bought the shop and figured I’d just be a mechanic and spend my free time in the mountains.”
“So what happened?”
“I went hiking in the scrub one day and saw a herd of wild horses running. A stallion, mares, even a few foals. They were incredible. After that I started going out there in all my spare time to watch them. It was so peaceful, you know? I got really into taking photos of them.
“And then one day, while I was watching them, a couple helicopters showed up. It was a roundup, and they chased the herd, flying behind them, really close to the ground. The horses were panicked, falling down, getting hurt. The foals got left behind, separated from their mothers, terrified and exhausted. It wasn’t right.”
She nodded, a lump in her throat, picturing the horrifying scene he described.
“I loved those horses, and I was a witness to their suffering,” he continued. “I knew I had to try to help. So I started adopting them from the government auctions. And I convinced this local horse trainer to teach me how to work with them.”
“It’s so strange to think of you on a horse,” she told him. “You were such a city boy.”
He smiled, tracing a water mark on the table with a callused index finger. “I sure was. But I learned pretty quick. It felt kind of natural to work with them. And once they were trained, I sold them as riding horses.”
“And you still do it?”
“I’ve trained and sold over two dozen mustangs now, but it’s not enough. The Department of Range Management just rounds up more. There are only a certain number of people who want to adopt a mustang, no matter how well trained it is. And my ranch is getting pretty full. I can’t adopt many more.”
“What happens if no one adopts them?”
“They spend their days in government holding facilities. Like the DRM station we were at last night. In dusty corrals, packed together, separated from their family groups, scared and miserable.”
“That’s awful,” Nora said.
“They have thousands of horses in these holding facilities. Most of them are forced to live in terrible conditions. Yet they continue to round up more.”
Nora felt sick, imagining all those miserable, frightened horses lost in government limbo. But she’d been frightened, too. She remembered the hooves, and huddling by the rock that had saved her life. “So you stole them.”
“Moved them,” he corrected. “We’ve tried everything else—talking with the manager at the DRM station, a big letter-writing campaign, getting animal welfare organizations involved. But the government spins its wheels and the horses pay the price in a slow, painful death from the heat. So we got them to some land where they can be safe. And free.”
“I just don’t get it.” She was casting around in her mind for solutions. As if she could, tonight, solve a problem he’d apparently been working on for a while now. “There has to be a way to help them, legally.”
“If there is, I couldn’t find it. And even if the DRM makes better rules eventually, these horses would still suffer. I’m truly sorry that you got caught up in our plan. But can you understand that sometimes you have to do a little bad to make something good happen?”
“In theory.” It was all she could say to reassure him. How many times had she listened to her dad’s excuses for his criminal behavior? There was always someone who wouldn’t give him a break, a deal that was too good to be true—one excuse after another for stealing, and conning and dealing.
“Will you keep my secret?” He leaned forward, elbows on the table. Negotiating now for his safety. For her silence.
“That you’re a horse thief?”
“Or a horse liberator,” he smiled faintly.
“Semantics.” She couldn’t let him off the hook.
Todd studied her for a moment, as if pondering how to respond. “We always had this thing, you know. This banter. This way of talking. I’ve missed it.”
She stared at him, trying to figure out if he was serious or if he was only trying to make her feel special so she’d keep quiet about the horses. “We’re bantering? I’m pretty sure we’re disagreeing.”
But he was right. They did have a connection. And she’d loved it. Because she was usually shy and serious, and for some reason he was the only person she’d been witty with. The only person who’d brought that out in her.
“Maybe it can still be our thing.”
Warning sirens, flashing lights and stop signs filled her mind. He was throwing out these offers of connection like candy. But he was a stranger to her now. “Whoa, cowboy, there is no our. No thing.”
“If you say so.”
The cocky demeanor really did suit him. But he was wielding it like a hypnotist with a watch. “I know why you’re doing this.”
“Doing what?”
“Reminiscing. Reminding me about all the good stuff in our relationship—a relationship that you happily walked away from.”
“You could have come with me,” he said softly, leaning back, looking at her squarely. “I wanted you to.”
“And I couldn’t.” Her stomach was in knots, her brain almost hurting from trying to figure out his motive. “Please don’t bring up all this old stuff. Don’t use our past to get what you want now. I won’t say anything about last night.”
He looked relieved. “Thank you.”
“But I hate that I’m a part of your deception. By asking me to keep quiet about what you did, you make me a part of your illegal activities.”
He nodded. “I get it. And I appreciate your help.”
They sat in silence for a few moments. Then Todd leaned forward. “Tell me what you were doing out there.” He took a sip of his beer, and his gaze on her was as intense as she’d remembered it.
She forced herself to remember that this was just a onetime drink. A conversation—nothing more. “You won’t like it. I’m working for the government, for the Department of Range Management.”
“So that’s why you were at the station. I couldn’t figure it out.”
Nora couldn’t help a wry smile. “Must have been like seeing the Ghost of Relationships Past.”
“It was pretty shocking.”
She took a deep breath and said the last words he’d want to hear. “I was hired to do a study on the impact of wild horses on native plant populations.”
He flinched, just as she’d expected. “And I take it the impact isn’t exactly positive?”
“I’ve only been working on it for a few weeks. But from what I’ve seen so far, that’s putting it mildly.”
“But you know the reasons the land is so overgrazed, right?” Todd leaned forward eagerly and in an instant he was the idealistic boy she’d known in college. Time seemed to jump back years again.
Nora caught her breath, momentarily disoriented. “I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”
“There are too many horses for the land provided. But that’s because the government is opening up all their grazing lands for fracking, for cattle, for minerals. So the mustangs have been crammed into a smaller space than can sustain them, and of course the native plants suffer. All the plants do. If we’d give them back their range, you wouldn’t see these kinds of impacts.”
“Well, sadly, I’m not able to give back their land. And, frankly, there won’t be too many native plants left if we keep the horses at the current population.”
“But the horses aren’t the real problem.”
She glared at him. “Todd, I know all this. But the fact is, at this time, the DRM has a certain amount of land allotted for the horses. And the native plants on that land are being destroyed. My job is to go in and study the damage. Once my study is finished, the department will use the data to figure out how many horses can be allowed to roam free.”
“And you didn’t feel bad signing on to this study knowing it’s based on a false premise? Because they’ve already taken away the horses’ normal rangeland?”
She bristled. “I was hired to do a study on their current range, and I’m doing that study.”
His voice was tinged with bitterness. “You never could get out of that scientific side of your head, could you? It’s all data and facts with you.”
“It’s not just that,” she protested.
“Well, what is it? The money?”
Nora’s stomach did a sticky, nauseating flip. “You didn’t just say that.” At least her rising outrage steadied her voice. “Some things never change.”
“What are you talking about?” Todd looked genuinely confused.
Was it really possible that he was this dense? “You have no right to judge me.”
“I’m not judging. I just think you’re working for the wrong side on this issue.”
The words were spinning like a tornado in her head, there were so many she wanted to throw at him. “How’s your family, Todd?” she spat out.
His eyes went wide. “What does my family have to do with anything?”
“Because they’re wealthy. You’re wealthy. And you sit there, safe in the lap of your moneyed family, and you judge people like me. People who need to have a regular job.”
“I’m not—”
She cut him off, spewing words that she’d wanted to say years ago. Back then she hadn’t had the courage. “Has it ever occurred to you that some of us need steady work to make a living? Or that jobs for a plant biologist aren’t easy to find? We don’t all have enough money in our trust funds to run off and work for free in the rain forest.”
Nora stood up, feeling shaky and sick. She shouldn’t have come here, shouldn’t have thought she’d have the self-control to keep the past in the past.
Understanding dawned in Todd’s eyes. But she didn’t want to hear his reasons why she was wrong. Or to feel the weight of his judgment for one more second. “I need to go. I’ve got to work early. To get some more of that money I’m in it for. Thanks for the drink.”
“Nora, hang on.” He stood up, too, leaned a little across the table with his hand out, palm open, as if pleading for her to stay.
“No.” She took a deep breath and forced herself to look right at him and end this conversation for good. “Look. It’s a strange coincidence that we ran into each other like we did, and that we’re in the same town. But that doesn’t mean we have to be friends. Let’s just agree to be polite and we’ll both be fine. I won’t be in Benson forever anyway.”
“But...”
“I’ll see you around, Todd.” There was all that old anguish in her—burning deep and low—that she didn’t want to feel and, most of all, didn’t want him to see.
Nora pushed through the double doors of the bar and into the summer night, inhaling the cool air with relief. She jumped into her Jeep and gunned the engine out of the parking lot, not stopping until she was outside town, until the streetlights were gone and the lights of Benson had faded and she could see every star, horizon to horizon.
She parked her car and stepped out, feeling the dry soil compress beneath her, letting the sensation ground her. Leaning against the driver’s-side door, she looked up at the glittering sky.
How was it possible that Todd had the power to make her crazy after all these years? She was a rational person. She always had been—except when it came to him.
He said he’d changed, but he was still the clueless rich kid who’d never had to struggle to put a roof over his head.
Nora took a deep breath of the clean air and let it out slowly. She just wanted all of her feelings about him to be gone. To live her life without the burden of her old, dusty love for him. Because, despite his ignorance, despite their differences, he still haunted her.
She kept the memories at bay during the daytime—she’d had years of practice at that. But at night he came to her in dreams so vivid that she woke in the morning genuinely shocked to open her eyes and find him not there.
And now he was here, as opinionated and idealistic and idiotic as ever. The guy she’d dreamed of, who’d never dreamed of her. And somehow she would have to figure out how to keep going forward and living her life, knowing Todd wasn’t just in her dreams anymore. He was in the machine shop in town, and at a ranch down the road. He was here in her hometown, judging her and finding her lacking.
Dreams were easy. They faded in the daylight. Reality was a lot more difficult.
CHAPTER SIX (#ulink_9a2810d3-d95a-5957-831b-adf263b69341)
TODD TURNED IN to the driveway of Marker Ranch, half wondering if Nora would be at the other end with a shotgun, ready to run him off her land. He probably deserved it after his lame comment about money last night.
He slowed his truck at the sight of the potholes in the dirt road that led slightly downhill. The road was in desperate need of work, and he wondered if he could get someone in here to grade it for Nora and Wade. Though they probably wouldn’t let him. Nora would tell him to take his rich-boy charity and shove it.
Not that he was rich these days.
He hit the brakes and eased his truck over a large bump in the road. He glanced at the broken fences lining the drive and the weed-choked pastures that on second glance seemed to be filled with...cars? He stopped his truck and looked around. All through the fields were the skeletons of rusted-out cars, trucks and a few tractors. Marker Ranch resembled a junkyard more than a cattle ranch.
He let out a low whistle. This place was beyond run-down. It was a crime to see land this poorly treated.
But apparently trashing things had been the Hoffman way of life. He’d done a little sleuthing at his shop this morning. It hadn’t been hard to get his customers to talk about Nora’s family. The Hoffmans were the stuff of local legend. A mother who’d left when Nora and Wade were still young, marrying their father’s best friend and fleeing to Europe with him to escape sentencing for fraud charges. A father who’d chosen a life of crime and swindled most of his neighbors at one time or another. People said he was hiding down in Mexico with the sons he’d dragged into his criminal ways.
And now Nora and Wade had come back to town to face all that history.
Todd felt heavy with the knowledge. He should have asked Nora more questions back in college, should have tried harder to win her trust and know her better. He’d had no idea how she’d grown up or what she’d been through. And now, here on Marker Ranch, surrounded by the remains of all her family had stolen, he felt as if he was looking directly at the skeletons in her closet.
He touched the accelerator again and kept going, glancing down at the new iPhone in a box next to him. He’d driven all the way to Gardnerville and back to get it. It was the least he could do after tossing hers.
Nora’s words from the bar last night rang with truth. He’d been a sheltered rich kid with enough money to do whatever kind of work he felt like pursuing, whether it paid or not. He’d headed off to his job in Brazil after graduation full of righteous indignation that Nora wouldn’t go with him. He’d never considered that working for an activist’s paltry wage might be impossible for her. Now it was obvious how totally ludicrous his invitation to the rain forest must have seemed.
Seeing this ranch made it clear to him that even if Nora’s dad had made money from his crimes, he certainly hadn’t invested it in his kids or his home. Nora had grown up in poverty and squalor. And he’d sat there last night criticizing the job that was helping her rise above all this.
He pulled up to the house and stopped, staring at the dilapidated building. It was quiet. One big pine, half-brown from the drought, stood next to the neglected old farmhouse. It was a two-story from the Victorian era with great bones, but so run-down it looked like a haunted mansion at a theme park.
A huge contrast to his family’s neatly manicured minimansion on the outskirts of Seattle. Everything in his childhood home was neat and tidy. His mom had seen to that. Rooms looked like stills from a furniture catalog. A team of gardeners kept the pool and grounds free of any weeds or excess dirt. Everything had been perfectly put together.
He stepped carefully up to the porch, avoiding a spot where the boards were missing, and knocked, knowing from the quiet around him that there would be no answer. He set the box on an old chair near the door. He’d wrapped it in brown paper and taped a note on, so at least she’d get it with the apology she deserved.
“Welcome to Marker Ranch.”
He just about jumped out of his skin at Wade’s voice. Todd turned to see him standing a few feet away from the porch.
Wade had obviously been working. Dirt smeared his T-shirt and jeans. His straw cowboy hat shadowed his face, but Todd could see the sweat there.
“Didn’t hear you come up. Is that some kind of army trick?” Todd left the porch, glad that the box housing the phone looked a lot like a book now that it was wrapped.
“One of the few skills I left with that actually has a use in real life,” Wade said, and Todd recognized Nora’s dry humor in her brother. Wade gestured around vaguely with his arm. “What do you think of the place?”
“I think you’re a guy who’s not afraid of hard work.” Todd looked back at the pastures that lined the driveway. “I know someone who could haul those cars out for you.”
“I’d appreciate his number,” Wade said. “This ranch is a junkyard, and all the junk stolen.” His smile was devoid of humor. “It’s the family legacy. Even the ranch was stolen, or so the story goes. By my great-great-grandfather.”
“Seriously?”
“Yup. It’s an old Benson legend. Supposedly, he won the ranch in a poker game. The guy who lost it accused him of playing with marked cards. Of course my ancestor swore up and down that he hadn’t been cheating. But a year or two later, he named the property Marker Ranch.”
“And the name stuck? No upstanding descendant wanted to change it?”
Wade gave a bark of laughter. “There’s never been any upstanding descendants. Until Nora and me.” He looked around bemusedly.
Marker Ranch was set in a long, narrow valley. Behind Wade, Todd noticed all kinds of outbuildings, some wood, some old prefabricated metal or plastic, staggered alongside the dirt road that cut through the ranch. He wondered what was in them. Wasn’t sure he wanted to know.
“Nora and I haven’t ever talked about changing the name,” Wade said. “But maybe once we get it all cleaned up and it’s a real working ranch, we can decide.”
“I kind of like the name, but I didn’t grow up here.”
“No,” Wade said hollowly. “You didn’t. Count yourself lucky for that.”
“But you came back.” Todd wondered, briefly, what life circumstances would induce him to make his family home his own. He couldn’t think of any.
“For the land.” Wade gestured up, toward the valley sides that rose steeply to meet the first slopes of the Sierras. Out here the mountains seemed to push straight out of the hills, their sheer granite slopes steep and forbidding and breathtakingly beautiful. “I love it out here. The mountains, the high desert. If I can just fix this place up, I’ll have my own piece of paradise. It’s worth facing the past for that.”
“Makes sense to me,” Todd assured him. They were the same reasons he’d been drawn to the area.
“So did you come out here to apologize to my sister?”
Did Nora tell her brother everything? Todd felt his face flush and was glad the brim of his hat shaded his face. “Yeah.”
“She’s doing fieldwork today,” Wade told him.
“Right. Well, I left her something on the porch. As part of that apology.”
Wade shifted uncomfortably. “Look, I’m not really used to talking about this stuff. And I don’t know much about what went on between you two. Nora never even told me about you.”
He paused and Todd just waited. It seemed better to say nothing than say something wrong.
“But the thing is,” Wade went on, kicking at the dust under his boot, “I lived with her right after you left. She was pretty upset for a long time. And I saw her come home pretty upset again last night.”
Todd knew the only way he’d earn Wade’s respect was through honesty. “Yeah, maybe that drink was a bad idea. It didn’t go so well. And it ended with my foot wedged so far in my mouth I don’t know if I’ll ever get it out.”
Wade gave a grim smile at that. “Look, I like you. Hell knows I could use a buddy out here. But don’t cause my sister trouble, okay? She’s a good person—a great person. She’s my only family and she gave up a lot to look out for me. I don’t want to see her hurt again.”
Todd didn’t know if the sick feeling in his throat was more embarrassment or disappointment. He’d sat across from Nora last night just trying to take her in. She’d always been pretty, but now she was so much more. Grown-up and strong and fiery underneath that same veneer of calm. Her gray eyes were darker than he remembered. Stormier. Her brown hair was longer, wavy and bleached by the sun, framing her face, which had lost some of its girlish fullness. The new angles suited her. She’d been furious with him in the bar last night, and remote, determined to hold him at a distance. And he knew he should respect that. But her down-to-earth beauty had grabbed him by the heart and twisted, wringing out all those memories he’d tried to lay to rest. He’d loved her. And while talking with her last night he’d vividly remembered all the heat that had been between them once. They’d been so alive, so in the moment together. Devouring knowledge, wandering mountains, exploring the world and never, ever getting enough of each other.
Until he’d learned the truth about his own family. And in his anger and rebellion, he’d messed up everything.
And now it didn’t matter what he might want. Clearly there could be nothing between them anymore. Nora despised him. She saw him as the pampered trust-fund kid he used to be. Which was exactly how he’d come across.
“I won’t cause her any more trouble,” he promised. “I screwed up back in college and I screwed up last night. I won’t mess up a third time. There’s nothing to worry about.”
Wade looked relieved. He pulled his cowboy hat down over his shaggy hair. Evidently he was growing out his military buzz cut. “Good,” he said. “Now that we got that over with, do you want go fishing this weekend?”
Now, that was the perfect way to end an awkward conversation. Todd grinned—part relief, part excitement. “That would be great. These past couple years have been so busy, getting the machine repair business going, and my ranch set up. I haven’t had much time to get to know many different fishing holes. It’d be awesome to get out there with a local.”
“Well, my knowledge is a little dated,” Wade admitted. “I’ve only been back a couple weeks and there hasn’t been time for fishing. But probably not much has changed. How about I swing by and pick you up from your work Sunday evening? That’ll give us a couple hours of daylight to nab a few trout.”
“Sounds good,” Todd said. He turned back to his truck, then paused. “You want any help grading this driveway?”
He saw Wade’s shoulders stiffen a little, wary of anything that smacked of charity. “Maybe eventually,” he said. “Right now I kind of like it. Keeps the nosy folks of Benson from paying any calls.”
Todd laughed. “You’re probably right about that. But it’s also hard on your truck. Think about it. I’m happy to help.”
“I appreciate that,” Wade said.
“And I’m not sure Nora mentioned it, but I work with mustangs. I adopt horses caught in government roundups and I train them to be good stock horses.”
“She didn’t say anything, no.”
Relief shot through him. If Nora hadn’t told her brother he worked with mustangs, she wouldn’t have mentioned the other night when he’d set a bunch of them free. “Well, I sell them for the original adoption fee I paid the Department of Range Management. If you need horses, you can’t beat the price. And you’ll be giving a mustang a new lease on life.”
“That doesn’t seem like a sound business plan you’ve got going on there,” Wade said, studying him.
“It’s not meant to be a business. Just something I care a lot about. When you get to a point where you’re ready for some horses, I hope you’ll consider mine.”
“I’d be happy to,” Wade said. “Sounds like a good cause and a great bargain.” He gave a wave and then walked off down the lane, heading toward the ramshackle row of sheds.
Todd climbed into his truck. Fishing. It might be a little awkward at first, hanging out with Nora’s brother. But he liked the guy already.
He’d just have to keep things peaceful with Nora. Though that might be hard, seeing as they were on opposite sides of the wild horses issue.
Plus, she didn’t make him feel peaceful. Quite the opposite. Despite her being so pissed at him last night, she’d changed something inside him. He’d walked out of that bar feeling as if his blood was moving faster, his heart beating stronger. He’d felt more alive than he could remember feeling since college.
He didn’t want peaceful with Nora. He wanted what they’d had before. He wanted to take her by the hand and explore the east side of the Sierras—to swim with her in the ice-cold lakes and go find the secret hot springs that trickled from deep in the earth. He wanted to lose himself in her the way he used to.
He understood that he couldn’t have it, but it didn’t stop him wanting it.
He steered his truck carefully back along the rutted drive. It was heartbreaking, this evidence of such neglect and waste. Nora’s dad had been careless with his ranch and his family.
And Todd had been careless, too—with Nora. He’d loved her for three years, and it shocked him now to look back and realize he’d never asked much about where she’d come from. He’d been too much of an egotistical college boy to talk about much besides himself. Though that had probably suited Nora fine, since she hadn’t wanted to talk about her past. And now he understood why. If he’d grown up here on this depressing ranch, he’d want to pretend none of it existed, too.
A rusted-out Ford pickup, vintage 1970s, stared at him from behind a mesquite, challenging him with its broken headlight eyes. And Todd felt resolve building inside him. He’d find a way to help clean up this mess. The mess he could see around him on Marker Ranch, and the one he’d made with Nora last night. And maybe, if he worked hard enough, he could even do something about the mess he’d made when he walked out on her, all those years ago.
CHAPTER SEVEN (#ulink_b2b85e85-1ce4-5f59-86ec-e04cef60c47d)
“HEY, NORA, DO you have a minute?”
Nora looked up from lacing her hiking boots to see Lee Ellison, the DRM station manager, walking toward her. “Sure, what’s up?”
Sometimes Lee liked to check in on the progress of her study, even though he wasn’t her actual boss. She’d been hired by his supervisor, Trent Nixon, up in Reno. But Lee’s background was in plant biology and Nora suspected he was a little envious of her job. As a government bureaucrat, he didn’t do much science. So he often sought her out to have a chat, which Nora enjoyed. It was nice to talk with someone else who knew the difference between a stamen and a petal.
Lee sat down on the log next to her, but instead of asking about her recent survey results or her plans for the day, he just rested his arms on his knees and stared at his folded hands. Finally he spoke. “Have you heard about the horses?”
“No.” Nora tried to keep her voice casual—hard to do when she was lying. “Did something happen?”
“They’re gone.”
“What do you mean, they’re gone?” Nora twisted her head as if she was trying to see the corrals from where she sat. She couldn’t, but it seemed like something someone who had just learned about the horses’ disappearance would do. She was a terrible actress and she knew it, mentally cursing Todd every way she knew how for putting her in this position. She looked back at Lee, eyebrows raised in what she hoped was a surprised and worried look. “What happened?”
Lee sighed. “We don’t know. When Vince stopped by to feed them on Saturday, the gate was still latched, but they were gone.”
“Is a fence broken?” She was pathetic at pretending. She just hoped this discussion ended soon.
“Nope.” Lee looked at her carefully. “So you didn’t see anything?”
“No, I didn’t.” Was her protest too strong? Nora’s stomach was in knots.
“It’s just that I’ve checked with everyone else, and they all say your Jeep was the last car in the parking lot that evening.”
“They’re right about that. I got back really late Friday. I’d stayed down in Johnson’s Wash way too long, lost the light and hiked back here after dark.” Had she said too much? Did she sound as if she was trying to give an alibi?
“And you didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary?”
“Honestly, everything seemed quiet. And it didn’t occur to me to go look at the horses. I was exhausted. I just wanted to get home.” Honestly. She couldn’t believe she’d used that word. And she couldn’t believe she was lying outright, for Todd Williams.
Lee sighed. “Look, while you’re out there today, just try to think about that night and whether you remember anything. You’re kind of my last hope here. Trent Nixon called and he’s pissed as hell. I’d love to offer him some kind of explanation. I just hope he doesn’t fire me over this.”
Nora stared at the dust around her feet. It would be awful if Lee got fired. He had three kids, two already at college and one heading there soon. Losing his job would be catastrophic for his entire family. “He can’t fire you for something that happened when you weren’t even here.”
“He’ll find a reason,” Lee said. “It’s not as if I’m the shining star of the DRM.”
It broke her heart to hear him talk that way. He was a good guy, which was a lot more than she could say for many of the redneck yahoos she’d met at this field station. “I really don’t remember anything unusual.” That final lie was extra icing on all the layers of deceit. It was too much and it made her sick. She stood up, self-hatred, anger and guilt all roiling around inside. “But I promise I’ll rack my brain and see if I can recall anything that seemed off.”
“Thanks, Nora. I’d appreciate it.” Lee stood up, too, straightening the tie that never looked quite right on him. “I’d better get back inside. Have a good day out there.”
His kindness just made everything worse. She swallowed the lump growing in her throat. “I will, Lee. You have a good day, too. Try not to worry. Trent would be crazy to fire you over this.”
“I hope so,” he said. And Nora watched him shuffle back to the building, shoulders dipped, looking even more discouraged than usual.
Nora grabbed her pack and swung it over her shoulder, her anger making her strides longer. Todd might justify his actions with bold statements about the rights of the horses, but what about the rights of someone like Lee? The right to do his job and to bring home his paycheck and to not have to take the blame for other people’s stupid deeds? What about Nora’s right to live her life without telling lies to protect her stupid ex-boyfriend?
Her feet hit the trail so hard that dust swirled around her legs. It was going to be a long, hot day and she had to focus on her work. But when she was done she was heading straight into town to give Todd a dose of reality. It was time that he realized how much his single-minded devotion to his causes affected other people’s lives.
* * *
THE KID WHO’D been sweeping up the repair shop when Nora stopped by after work told her that Todd was down the street at the High Country Sports Bar. But he didn’t mention that Todd was there with a woman. A gorgeous woman with a fall of sleek blond hair—hair that cascaded over one shoulder when she looked up from some papers on the table. A woman whose lipsticked mouth showed perfect white teeth when she opened it to laugh at something Todd had said.
She had big violet eyes and was showing an insane amount of cleavage, and all the outrage Nora had been saving up since her conversation with Lee this morning merged with the realization that Todd living in Benson meant Todd dating in Benson. The sick feeling that had been in her stomach all day got worse, and all Nora wanted to do was go home. But before she could, Todd’s date saw her standing there gaping at them like a jealous, dusty fish. The woman leaned her shiny head in and murmured something to Todd, who turned around and spotted Nora.
“Hey,” he said, waving her over.
She didn’t want to be waved over. She wanted to sink through the floorboards of the High Country and disappear into the beery mud below. Her hair was in pigtails that hung down from underneath her ball cap. Below her shorts, her legs were dirt smeared and scratched. Dusty, clunky hiking boots completed the look. In humiliating contrast, Todd’s date was wearing a minidress and heels.
Outrage began building again, white-hot inside her. While his actions had Nora covering for him with lies and Lee frantically trying to salvage his job, Todd was here cuddling up with a date.
Her anger eclipsed her embarrassment. “I was hoping to speak with you, but it looks as if you’re extremely busy.”
“I am, but...”
“And I’m sure whatever you’re doing in here is very important and urgent.” She bit the words out.
“Well, I think so...” Todd’s brows were raised and he looked embarrassed. Probably for her. Which just made Nora angrier.
“Because that’s what you do, right? You run around and try to save the world, and your lofty goals are so important that you couldn’t possibly consider the consequences for anyone else.” The anger felt good, wiping out the guilt from lying to Lee today and the irritating jealously she was feeling now.
Todd glanced helplessly at his date, then back at her. He looked so bewildered, and that just made it all worse. He should know. He should have realized that after he let those horses out, the Department of Range Management would need to blame someone. And that someone was poor Lee.
“Look, Nora, we’re almost done here. Let me just go ahead and finish up, and then you can tell me what’s got you so upset.”
She hated his placating tone. As if she was some kind of crazy person he was trying to appease. And the worst thing was, she never got this mad. She was reserved. Famously reserved. She’d stayed calm almost her whole life. Except when Todd had left her. Except in the bar the other night. Except today.
Anger mutated to blinding rage. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I realize that finishing your date is so much more important than talking about how I had to lie for you today. Or how you might have ruined a good man’s entire life.”
Todd paled. She’d come close to spilling the secret he’d asked her to keep. But it served him right.
“Nora, this is my friend Tess Cole. She’s putting together a few ads for me.”
“Oh.” Great. She was his friend. To top everything off, now Nora had her filthy hiking boot stuck in her mouth. “An ad for the repair shop?” It was an inane question, but her mind was scrambled. Todd’s not-a-date was looking at her with a slight smile and the knowing eyes of a woman who could spot a big romantic mess. Except this mess wasn’t romantic. Far from it.
“Some PR for his charitable organization, The Mustang Protection Fund,” Tess explained. She held out her hand and Nora spotted the enormous diamond on her ring finger. “So nice to meet you, Nora.”
“Nice to meet you, too,” Nora mumbled, giving Tess’s hand a weak shake, trying to make sense of this new reality. Todd ran an organization to protect the mustangs? And she’d just accused him and his obviously married colleague of being on a date? It would be interesting to see if this day could possibly get worse.
Tess stood up, gathering her folders and giving them a view of her outrageously long legs and tiny skirt. “Look, Todd, I’d better get going. I’m meeting Slaid for dinner. And it seems as though you have some things you need to take care of. Just give me a call once you’ve looked all this over. And thanks for the drink.”
Nora could tell Todd’s face was red, even in the dim light of the bar. He stood up, as well. “Thanks for everything, Tess. I so appreciate it.”
“Hey, it’s for a good cause.” Tess gave Nora a big smile and a small wink. Then she stepped closer and leaned in, surrounding Nora with a cloud of expensive perfume. “He’s all yours,” she murmured. “He’s a pretty good guy, most of the time. We’d miss him around here if you ripped him to shreds.”
“I’m so sorry about the...misunderstanding.” Nora didn’t know what to call it. Her own temporary insanity?
“Please don’t worry about it. That was the most entertaining thing that’s happened to me in a while.”
Nora watched Tess until she disappeared into the sunlight outside and the bar door closed behind her.
“Nora, what the hell is going on?” Todd was still standing, with the small table between them.
“Your idiocy, that’s what.” She took Tess’s former seat and motioned for Todd to sit, as well. “The DRM is all riled up about the missing horses.”
“What do you mean?”
“The manager of the station, Lee, questioned me today. He knows my car was the last one in the lot that night. I had to lie and say I’d seen nothing.”
Todd looked stricken. “I’m so sorry, Nora. I honestly didn’t think it would be a big deal to them.”
“No? Well, you should have thought. Lee’s worried he’s going to lose his job over this. He has three kids to support. He can’t afford to lose his livelihood.”
“They won’t fire him,” Todd said more confidently. “The government has so many rules and regulations attached to hiring and firing personnel, there’s no way they can fire him without evidence.”
She raised her brows skeptically. “You don’t know that for sure.”
“I’m pretty certain. Look, I’ve seen this kind of thing before. They have to act as if they care. They have to investigate, but they’re just jumping through their hoops. I promise you that in a few days, it will all calm down. They don’t want those horses anyway.”
“How do you know?”
“Because they were planning on selling them to a broker.” Todd’s expression darkened. “And that broker is notorious for getting hold of mustangs and selling them for meat.”
“What?” Nora shook her head, trying to clear it. Trying to understand. “Nobody eats horse meat!”
“Plenty of people eat it. In Mexico, and in Europe. Even here in the States. It’s not supposed to be legal to slaughter horses for meat, but often the DRM just sells the horses to whatever broker comes along. They don’t care if that broker takes them to an illegal slaughterhouse.”
Nora tried to take in this new information. Slaughtering wild mustangs? It seemed almost sacrilegious. “I didn’t realize.”
“But you’re right. I didn’t think through the consequences of this very well. I don’t want you to have to lie and I don’t want the station manager to lose his job. If I’m wrong, and it doesn’t blow over in a couple days, I’ll figure something out.”
“Oh, that’s comforting.” Nora shoved her clenched fists into the pockets of her shorts so she didn’t do something dumb, like empty his drink on his dense head.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re going to just wait and see what happens, right? Well, what if Lee gets fired before then? You have to take more responsibility than that.”
Todd stared at her, as if seeing her in some new way. “You’re right. I do. I really do. Look, I’ll call a friend of mine tonight. He’s a journalist, and he’ll be happy to write a story that tells the truth about the broker the department planned to sell those horses to. A little embarrassment goes a long way with our public agencies. Once this story is out there, all the DRM will want is for the entire situation to disappear as fast as it possibly can.”
“I just hope you’re right.” She thought of Lee, so weary and worried. “I need you to be right.”
“Trust me?”
“And why, exactly, should I? Remember, I’m stuck in the scientific side of my head—I need evidence.” She couldn’t resist tossing the words he’d used in the bar the other night back at him.
He flushed. “I’ll leave a copy of the article on your porch when it comes out.”
“Like you left the phone. How nice to have my own personal apology fairy.”
His flush got a little deeper. Did it make her a bad person that she was enjoying the upper hand?
“Nora, I screwed up with the horses. And I’m trying to make it better.”
“You need to do more than try. Lee’s a good man. He doesn’t deserve this.”
He stood up. “I’ll make sure he’s okay.”
They left the bar together and stopped outside the doorway. Todd looked down at her thoughtfully. His green eyes, studying her face, brought back an unwelcome memory. Their first kiss. After a movie, in front of her dorm, her sophomore year. He’d stared at her just like this. Serious, and wondering.
She looked away, out at the empty street. At the mountains beyond. Before the drought, a stream had tumbled down the slopes and through the town. It was bone-dry now. She wished she could dry up her memories the same way. They seemed to reside in some underground pool deep inside her, perfectly preserved, welling up at all the wrong moments.
She looked back at Todd and met his eyes, facing down the memory. It wasn’t real. It was just a ghost. Here was the real Todd, who had to be reminded that he couldn’t just ruin someone else’s life for a bunch of wild horses. Who thought she was a total sellout for working for the DRM.
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