A Baby For The Doctor
Stephanie Dees
A Family to Call Her OwnBecoming a foster parent to a young boy, equine therapist Jordan Conley’s life gets turned upside down. Little Levi is in need of an exceptional pediatrician, which means seeking help from Dr. Ash Sheehan—a man that, despite her heart-pounding crush, isn’t her type. Her life is horses and hay, and she can’t imagine the suit-clad doctor in a pair of cowboy boots. As a confirmed bachelor, Ash has never been nervous around women, but there’s something about Jordan that flusters him, something working closely together only stirs up. The last thing he’s looking for is long-term romance. But the more involved he gets, the more he wishes they could stay together…always.Family Blessings: Forging a home with love and faith.
A Family to Call Her Own
After becoming a foster parent to a young boy, equine therapist Jordan Conley’s life gets turned upside down. Little Levi is in need of an exceptional pediatrician, which means seeking help from Dr. Ash Sheehan—a man that, despite her heart-pounding crush, isn’t her type. Her life is horses and hay, and she can’t imagine the suit-clad doctor in a pair of cowboy boots. As a confirmed bachelor, Ash has never been nervous around women, but there’s something about Jordan that flusters him, and working closely together doesn’t help. The last thing he’s looking for is long-term romance. But the more involved he gets, the more he wishes they could stay together...always.
Ash pulled a lollipop out of the pocket of his coat.
Levi looked at him with suspicion, but took it and stopped crying.
“Where were you when I was trying to dress him?” Jordan rolled her eyes at Ash and he couldn’t help but laugh.
“Next time I’ll do better.”
She clicked the car seat harness into place and closed the door.
He shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “I’ll come by and check on him tomorrow. And you can call me if you need anything.”
She nodded and her eyes lingered on his for a long second. “I’m sure we’ll be fine.”
Jordan rounded the car and got in, turning around to give her little charge a reassuring smile. Ash watched as she drove out of the parking lot.
Yeah, she was different. Not his type at all. So why was he so interested?
Dear Reader (#u96d88f8f-fbad-5e81-851e-9e39512f2257),
I love a good calendar! It’s always a big decision which planner I’ll use for the next year. I replenish my supplies—pens, sticky notes, stickers—and I delight in filling in the little squares with my lists and checking off my daily tasks.
In A Baby for the Doctor, Jordan has plans. She’s busy starting a business. She isn’t prepared for a child in her life and she definitely doesn’t have time for romance! She’s surprised when God leads her to both and struggles to understand His plans for her.
Sometimes I’m like that, too, and I struggle with laying aside my tasks to follow God’s plan. It takes faith to put down the to-do list and step out into the unknown, but it’s when we put aside our agenda and follow God’s that we find true joy and fulfillment.
Thanks for joining me again in Red Hill Springs! I’d love to hear from you! Find me at my website www.stephaniedees.com (http://www.stephaniedees.com) or on Facebook!
Wishing you all the best,
Steph
Award-winning author STEPHANIE DEES lives in small-town Alabama with her pastor husband and two youngest children. A Southern girl through and through, she loves sweet tea, SEC football, corn on the cob and air-conditioning. For further information, please visit her website at stephaniedees.com (http://www.stephaniedees.com).
A Baby for the Doctor
Stephanie Dees
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
but it’s the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
—Proverbs 19:21
Man plans, God laughs.
—Old Yiddish Proverb
For my favorite three-year-old—
you’ve had my heart from the moment I saw you.
Special thanks to Melissa Endlich and the
editorial team at Love Inspired and to
Melissa Jeglinski and the Knight Agency.
I’m so thankful to be able to work with you!
Contents
Cover (#uc5755ce2-2b01-59cf-822c-103e834a172d)
Back Cover Text (#u568aeb6a-ddc8-5afa-9e3e-45d5e2be98eb)
Introduction (#uc06deca7-0c75-593d-87fe-a5ef328337f5)
Dear Reader (#u788dca40-48ea-5d42-884e-fcd36ae8e6ab)
About the Author (#u5164438e-b96a-5db6-bd1d-f9244bf1ae66)
Title Page (#ufb1ddb49-52c2-56e8-94e0-11bd2d683ef6)
Bible Verse (#u57145944-85aa-547a-8cb1-6d044e8a7999)
Dedication (#u5d6810e0-8ace-54d3-9845-6a695fb29eba)
Chapter One (#u15f6670f-c8b5-5aae-92d2-98416908569d)
Chapter Two (#uf5d851d7-9a05-59d8-b10b-8f3d5c20f288)
Chapter Three (#u2d4c8e03-fa3e-5a28-bc35-bbee2c43fdc0)
Chapter Four (#ue4201a37-9f5b-5fb2-8d71-1ddc52cc3516)
Chapter Five (#u4a79f95d-e35f-51ec-80f7-e1a4b97ff55a)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seventeen (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#u96d88f8f-fbad-5e81-851e-9e39512f2257)
Jordan Conley’s phone rang for the third time in as many minutes. She gave her horse Bartlet one last scratch on the neck and nudged him out of the way. “Sorry, old boy. Three calls in a row is a distress signal.”
She tossed the curry comb into the pail next to the stall and dug her phone out of her back pocket. It was her twin sister. “Claire?”
“Oh, thank God you answered.”
Jordan could hear the newest baby, the one they called Sweetness, screaming in the background. “What’s up?”
“Sweetness has a double ear infection. And the principal at Kiera’s school called. She punched a girl in last period and they won’t put her on the bus. I have to pick her up right now.”
“What do you want me to do?”
Claire sighed. “I just got a call from the county. They need someone to pick up a three-year-old boy at the hospital. I told them twice we couldn’t do it. They just called again and said they’re going to have to keep him at the office tonight if we can’t take him.”
“Where do I pick him up?” Already Jordan’s mind was sifting through what she needed to do to make it happen. She didn’t have time for this. Of course she didn’t. She could barely manage the horses’ upkeep much less build her therapy practice, but there was a three-year-old in a hospital with no one.
She had a therapy session at five she could postpone. Opening the door to the tack room, she grabbed a toddler car seat from the storage closet, hauling it out the door of the barn before heading into the big house, where Claire and Joe lived with their—at least for the moment—eight kids.
A shuffling pause and Claire was back. “Sorry. He’s in Mobile in the Children’s Unit. The resource manager said he was hurt pretty bad but didn’t give me any details. No, Georgia, no Cheerios in your ears. Anyway, I don’t know what you’re going to find when you get there.”
Jordan rummaged through a stack of children’s pajamas and pulled out trains in a size 3T and rocket ships in 2T. She shoved them in a spare diaper bag and grabbed a couple of diapers out of a basket labeled fives. “So basically, it’s situation normal.”
“Basically. Okay, I just pulled in at the school. I’ve gotta go. Thanks, Jordan.”
Even before her sister hung up the phone, Jordan was zipping up the diaper bag. She grabbed an apple on the way out the back door and tossed the diaper bag into the front seat of her old truck. The car seat, with its many hooks and straps, went into the back seat.
She’d learned a lot of new skills since she and Claire started fostering. Things like the temperature a bottle needed to be and that all diapers weren’t created equal. That little boys didn’t really care how shoes looked, only that they were “fast.”
She’d learned that she’d never met a night terror she didn’t hate. And kids who had been through what their kids had been through were rightly scared of the dark. She learned that parenting, especially foster parenting, was exhausting, exhilarating and humbling.
When Claire and Joe got married and Joe and his daughter moved into the big renovated plantation house, Jordan had moved to Joe’s cabin on the other side of Red Hill Farm, which she and Claire had inherited from their biological father. This setup actually worked better for her, since she was working to build her equine therapy practice, Horses, Hope and Healing. But still, with eight kids, there was always a baby to feed, homework to help with, hair to be fixed.
Her phone buzzed again. A text from Claire.
Forgot to tell you the caseworker is meeting you at the hospital with the paperwork. Baby’s name is Levi Wheeler.
Yes, a name was kind of important.
Ash is on his way, too. We were in his office when we got the call.
Her heart stopped beating for an almost imperceptible second. Ash was the town pediatrician and her brother-in-law. And he was the most perfect human being she had ever met. She wasn’t even sure she liked him because when it came to Ash, she turned into a klutzy teenager every time she got close to him. As if going through that stage once wasn’t enough.
She pulled out of the driveway onto the highway and began to pray, one of those new skills she’d acquired. The children who came to live at Red Hill Farm brought heartbreak and grief and trauma. Since she couldn’t take it away from them, the only alternative was to walk through it with them, and to do that, she needed Jesus. That had become abundantly clear very quickly.
Surround that little boy with Your peace, Lord. Heal his wounds, body and spirit. Let him never feel ashamed for what others did to him. Let him never feel unloved, unwanted, unworthy. He is Your child, Lord. Yours. Give me the strength and courage to be Your body, Your welcoming arms, for this child.
There were other things that were hard, but the prayers came easy.
At the hospital she walked through the doors, looking for the information desk, and ran into Ash. Her bags went flying, arms flailing.
When he put his arms out to steady her, her heart started thumping in her chest. He had on a pale blue pinpoint oxford cloth shirt and a crisp white lab coat with his name embroidered on the pocket. Ashley Sheehan, MD.
“You okay?” His summer-sky eyes were concerned.
“Fine, thanks.” She realized she had the lapels of his formerly pristine lab coat fisted in her hands and loosened her grip with a wince. “Sorry.”
Jordan took a step away from him and brushed off her jeans, noticing a brown smudge that she really hoped was just dirt. No wonder Ash didn’t see her as dating material. The supermodel types he went out with wouldn’t be caught dead wearing horse poop. Laughing at herself now, she leaned down to collect her stuff. “Have you seen our little patient yet?”
“Not yet. I was waiting for you. He’s in room 314.”
The caseworker, Reesa, a petite woman with a riot of lavender curls, was waiting for them as they got off the elevator on the third floor. “Hey, guys, they’re about to discharge Levi. He’s been treated for chemical burns, tape burns, neglect. Cops called us when they picked up the parents for cooking meth.”
Jordan’s eyes stung. She wouldn’t cry. Not in front of the caseworker—not in front of Ash—but already she wanted to weep. “He’s three? Any family?”
Reesa started down the hall. “Not that anyone is willing to tell us about, so there won’t be any visits, at least for now. I’ll let you know if that changes. And yes, he’s three, but he’s small. He’s also scared of me, so I’m going to let you two go in. The nurses said you can dress him and get him ready to go.”
She stopped in front of a door. “Jordan, here’s your paperwork. He’s officially being placed with you and you will sign the discharge papers.”
Jordan nodded. “And Claire?”
“Let’s talk about that sometime next week.” Reesa handed her the folder and backed toward the elevator. “For now your name is on the placement letter.”
The weight of what she’d agreed to sat heavily on her shoulders. Not knowing what to expect was always hard for her. She liked life on her own terms, and being a foster parent was pretty much the opposite of that.
As Reesa disappeared down the hall, Jordan shoved the papers into the pocket of the diaper bag and looked at Ash. “You ready?”
When he nodded, she pushed the door open. Room 314 was silent, shadowy. The only light on was the one over the bed, which highlighted the tiny boy. He might be three but he wasn’t even the size of the average two-year-old. Curled up in sleep, he looked more like an infant.
She stopped halfway to the bed. He had bandages around his wrists and ankles, and gauze wrapped around his midsection. Dressed only in a diaper and covered partially by a sheet, he was unmoving in the bed.
Ash touched her arm. “Do you want me to go first?”
She shook her head. Levi was so still and quiet that she thought he was asleep, but when she rounded the end of the bed, she realized that his eyes were open and fixed on the window. “Hey, buddy.”
Levi startled, but he didn’t look at her. She reached into the bag she’d so haphazardly packed and pulled out a lovey, as Claire’s kids called them. She placed it near his fingers.
Next out of the bag was the smaller pair of pajamas, which she realized would still swallow him. But actually, that might be better over the bandages.
“How about I take a quick look before you dress him?”
At the sound of Ash’s deep voice, Levi started to shake, and he curled into a protective position, knees at his chin.
Jordan longed to pick him up and bring him safely into her arms, but she knew that he wouldn’t feel safe there—not yet. Looking over at Ash and meeting his eyes, she gave him an apologetic shrug. “Maybe if you give us a few minutes.”
Ash nodded and backed toward the door. “I saw Dr. Lowenstein at the nurses’ station. I’m going to get his thoughts on Levi’s care from here on out and take a look at the chart before he’s discharged.”
She studied the baby in the bed. Levi was in near fetal position, his thumb in his mouth, dark brown eyes wide and terrified. She’d gentled a lot of fearful horses in her time, horses who had been mistreated and neglected. Maybe teaching this little boy that she could be trusted wasn’t so different.
Jordan pulled the rocking chair close to the bed, close enough to touch him. The first thing she did with a skittish horse was get them used to the sound of her voice. She began to sing to Levi, a little song she’d learned as a child. He glanced at her and looked away, but he didn’t cry.
She heard the door softly latch as Ash closed it behind him. If she could just act like a normal human being around the handsome doctor, they could be friends. Instead, she was as awkward as a seventh grader at her first boy-girl party.
But there was no slow dancing here in room 314. Nothing to worry about. She smiled into a toddler’s troubled brown eyes. Levi was the new man in her life now.
* * *
Ash leaned against the wall outside the door of the hospital room where Levi Wheeler rested. Nausea churned in his stomach—not at the wounds; he’d seen worse. No, he had to make an excuse to get out of the room because the thought that the very people who were supposed to love and protect this little boy were the ones—
Our God is a great big God and He holds us in His hand...
Jordan’s sweet voice carried through the closed door. He didn’t know how she could sing about God right now. Where was God when that baby’s parents duct-taped him into a chair and left him there for days?
Ash’s hand curled into a fist but he resisted the urge to punch the wall, instead choosing to walk the few feet to the nurses’ station. “Levi Wheeler?”
The nurse selected the chart and handed it across the counter. “I haven’t seen you in a while, Dr. Sheehan. You have time for a coffee? I’ve got a break coming up.”
Flashing the smile was automatic. “I don’t today. Rain check?”
He looked over the notes that Dr. Lowenstein had left in Levi’s chart and glanced back at the nurse. “You have his discharge papers ready?”
“Yes, sir.” The pretty blonde looked up at him from under her lashes.
He sighed and then forced the appropriate words. “Thanks, Amber. Let’s see if we can get this young man out of the hospital.”
She squeezed his arm as she walked by him. He stabbed his fingers through his hair, annoyed in spite of himself. His siblings were always making fun of him for his dimples, blond hair and blue eyes. And sure, in high school and college, he’d loved the attention from the ladies. Now it was just a distraction.
He didn’t want someone who liked him for his looks. He wanted to spend time with someone who was interested in what he thought, what he cared about. He would never tell his brother, Joe, this, but he wanted a soul mate, like Joe had found in Claire.
He sighed. Maybe it was best that he hadn’t found that. Marriage and family might work for Joe, but it wasn’t in the cards for him. He pushed open the door to little Levi’s room.
Jordan had Levi dressed in navy blue fleece pajamas with rockets and moons on them. The toddler’s big brown eyes, his eyelashes wet from tears, met Ash’s for one long moment before he stared out the window again.
“He let you dress him. I didn’t hear any screams.”
She shook her head. “He wasn’t happy about it, but he did let me touch him. Baby steps, I guess.”
As Nurse Amber went through the discharge papers with Jordan, Ash made sure to stay close to the door, away from where his presence might upset Levi. Other than the terrified reaction when Ash had gotten close to the bed, the little boy had shown no interest in anything and had made no sound at all. The hospital had done some preliminary evaluations, but no one could tell at this point how extensive the damage to Levi might be.
Amber handed Jordan a stack of prescriptions and then said, “Okay, sign here and you’re good to go.”
When the orderly rolled the wheelchair into the room, Levi looked toward it, brown eyes going wide. As the orderly brought it closer, Levi began to whimper. And when Amber reached for him to put him in it, the little boy lost it.
He screamed and scratched, jerking away from the nurse until she gave in and dropped him back onto the mattress, where he collapsed, sobbing.
Jordan stepped toward the baby, putting herself between him and the wheelchair. “Please take that out of here. Now.”
The orderly left without a word.
Jordan nailed Amber with a look. “I know it’s against hospital policy but I’m going to carry him out. The chair is obviously terrifying to him and I can’t let him be more traumatized.”
She held her arms out to Levi, whose huge waif eyes were full of dark fear. “Come on, buddy, let’s get out of here. No chair. Just you and me.”
He didn’t move. Ash was pretty certain that she was going to have to carry him out kicking and screaming, but suddenly, the injured toddler threw himself into her arms.
She paid exactly zero attention to the snot running down his face, just cuddled him close and grabbed the backpack she had brought with her.
Amber was between Jordan and the door. She held Jordan’s gaze for another moment before she relented and stepped out of the way. “I’ll make a note in the chart that Dr. Sheehan walked you out.”
“Perfect. Ash, let’s get this little guy out of here.”
Pulling the door open, Ash stepped out of the way and Jordan walked past him without looking back. Levi’s little arms were clenched around her neck, his face buried in the hollow of her shoulder.
Ash thanked the nurse and followed Jordan into the hall. He’d dated a lot of Ambers, girls who were pretty and sweet, smart even. Jordan was different. She didn’t care about her hair. She didn’t wear makeup, that he could tell. More often than not, she had something questionable staining her jeans and hay sticking in her hair.
But she had just stood up for Levi, knowing instinctively what he needed. In her therapy practice, he had seen her create magic between a child and a horse. She was complicated and gifted and stunningly beautiful, despite the fact that she obviously didn’t notice.
Or maybe because of it. And every time he tried to talk to her, the words stuck in his throat.
In the parking lot, Jordan’s truck beeped as it unlocked, and she tucked Levi into his car seat, gently brushing a curl off his forehead. Crocodile tears started down his thin cheeks. Ash pulled a lollipop out of the pocket of his coat and held it out to Levi. He looked at Ash with suspicion, but took it and stopped crying.
“Now you find a lollipop? Where were you when I was trying to dress him?” She rolled her eyes at Ash and he laughed.
“Next time I’ll do better.”
“Okay, buddy, here we go.” Jordan clicked the harness into place and closed the door. In an unguarded moment, Ash saw grief and pain flash across her face before she shuttered it. “He’s really hurt. I wasn’t prepared for how badly.”
He shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “I’ll come by and check on him after clinic tomorrow morning. And you can call me if you need anything.”
She nodded and her eyes lingered on his for a long second. “I’m sure we’ll be fine.”
Jordan rounded the car and got in, turning around to give her little charge a reassuring smile. Ash watched as she drove out of the parking lot, lifting a hand as she turned the corner onto the highway.
Yeah, she was different. Not his type at all. So why was he so interested?
Chapter Two (#u96d88f8f-fbad-5e81-851e-9e39512f2257)
Jordan turned on the coffeemaker in the kitchen, but not before she added another scoop of ground coffee to the filter. While it was brewing, she laid her head against the cool stainless-steel surface of the refrigerator. She was exhausted.
Levi had shunned the crib altogether, opting to fight it out in the living room. He’d stayed awake until he absolutely could not hold his eyes open anymore, finally falling asleep staring into the fire she’d built in the big stone fireplace. His dimpled fingers were entwined in the fur of her German shepherd, who was glued to his side. She didn’t know exactly what had happened to this baby but he was stuck in fight-or-flight mode.
It was heartbreaking. He needed to learn to trust that she would take care of him, but his body wouldn’t let him. Even her dog, Gus, understood Levi had broken places and all they could do to fix him was just be there.
A soft tap at the door had her glancing up in panic, but Gus just lifted his head and woofed softly before laying it back down. She put her finger over her lips and let her sister, Claire, in through the French doors that looked out over the pond to the barn on the other side.
“Hey, I just came to see how our new little guy is doing. I brought you some clothes for him.” Her sister’s long brown hair was in a messy bun on top of her head, an oversize sweatshirt hiding her still tiny baby bump.
“He’s asleep on the couch. The crib was a no-go.”
Claire peeked over the back of the blue velvet couch. “Oh, sweet baby. Has he eaten yet?”
“No. I tried everything I had that was kid-friendly. He wouldn’t even eat one of those applesauce pouches. I’m not really sure what to do.”
Claire shook her head. “Maybe Ash will have some ideas. He’s so tiny. It’s hard to believe he’s three.”
“That’s what the paperwork says, but it wouldn’t be the first time the age was wrong on the paperwork.” She poured coffee into a ceramic mug and topped it with cream so she could drink it faster.
“Amelia said she would take care of the horses this weekend so you can get Levi settled.”
“Bless her.” Claire’s stepdaughter, Amelia, had bonded with the horses from the first time she saw them. If she was looking after the animals, Jordan could stop worrying about them. “How’s Sweetness feeling this morning?”
“Cranky. I left her with Mrs. Matthews, eating breakfast. She loves those tiny pancakes Mrs. M. makes.”
“Hiring her was the best decision ever.” Jordan gave her sister a sideways glance. Claire had nearly burned the house down twice and all of them had eaten more than their share of NoodleO’s. “Not that you weren’t a good cook.”
“I wasn’t.” Claire poured herself half a cup of coffee. “But Mrs. Matthews is and she needed something big to do after her husband, Vince, passed last year.”
A whimper came from the couch. Jordan leaned over the back and pulled the soft fleece blanket over his narrow shoulders. Levi squinched his eyes shut and burrowed farther into the cushions.
“What did Ash say about him?”
Jordan topped off her coffee and stirred it. “Ash didn’t really get a chance to check him out last night. Levi seems to have an objection to superhot male doctors.”
Claire snorted her coffee. “I bet Mama J doesn’t have an objection.”
Jordan scowled at the nickname—and the observation. “Mama J thinks Dr. Sheehan should stick to his high-society girls.”
“I think maybe there’s more to Ash than meets the eye.”
“If you say so.” Jordan wasn’t trying to be rude, but Ash was tagged in social media with a different girl every week, most of the time dressed in evening wear, attending some function or another. His day-to-day couldn’t be further removed from her simple life here on the farm. She walked, mug in hand, to the window.
“Jordan...”
When she turned around, Claire’s eyes were filled with tears. “I know I asked you to pick Levi up. I even thought he and Sweetness could maybe share a room. But my margin is razor-thin right now and now I know...he needs more care than I can give him.”
Jordan’s heart hammered in her chest. She’d kind of had a feeling this would happen. Somewhere in the back of her mind, where she tucked things she didn’t want to think about, she’d had an inkling that when she said yes to Levi, she wasn’t just saying yes for the weekend.
That didn’t mean the idea of keeping him didn’t scare her down to her toenails.
Claire met her at the window. “I know you work so hard with the horses and taking care of your practice. You have so much on your plate. I talked to Reesa and she said they would try to find another family next week.”
“No.” The vehemence with which she replied surprised even Jordan. She gentled her tone. “No. I said yes to Levi. Not you. I didn’t know what I was stepping into, but we never do.”
Claire nodded, her eyes still brimming. “No, we never do. It’s worth it.”
“If Mom hadn’t thought so, we wouldn’t be where we are now.” A wry smile curved Jordan’s lips. “So remind me of that in a week when I’d sell my left kidney for a night of sleep.”
“I will, but you have some time to think about it and make sure that’s what you want to do. Now I need to get back before Mrs. Matthews realizes she traded her retirement for indentured labor.” Claire grabbed Jordan around the neck and squeezed, tight. “I love you. I hope you don’t regret moving here.”
“Never. I like a challenge.”
Claire laughed and handed her the empty mug. “I’ll be back for more later.”
Jordan watched her sister swing off the porch onto the well-worn path to the main house. Claire was in her element at Red Hill Farm. She may be struggling a little being a mom while dealing with first trimester sickness, but their brood of kids was thriving here.
As Jordan walked the few steps into the living area, she realized Levi wasn’t asleep anymore. His dark brown eyes were wide-open and staring at her. His thumb was in his mouth, the pale blue lovey she’d brought to the hospital clenched in his fist, his other hand in Gus’s black fur.
He blinked, his lashes taking a long, slow dip.
“Hey, buddy, you hungry? Want something to eat?” Even though she knew he probably wouldn’t know it, she made the sign for eat tips of fingers to mouth. Gus’s tail thumped. “Not you, you dorky dog.”
Levi didn’t move, just looked at her. At least he didn’t seem scared. “How about some milk?”
Again, she made the sign along with the word. He didn’t respond. She’d tried a sippy cup last night and he’d refused it. It was possible, considering the neglect, that he’d only had a bottle. Luckily, she had one left from an overnight with one of their former foster babies. She poured milk into the bottle and, after a little thought, added a packet of formula because Levi could definitely use the calories.
Warming it just enough for the powder to mix, she shook it and showed it to him. His eyes brightened for the first time. She eased onto the sofa and sat beside him. He reached for the bottle, but instead of just handing it to him, she picked him up and put him on her lap, letting him rest against her chest.
He stiffened, but didn’t pull away from her like he had last night. She put the bottle in his mouth and he wrapped his fingers around hers and took a few sips. He pulled it back, looking at it like he wasn’t sure what he was tasting.
“It’s okay, buddy. Good stuff.” She let him slide into the crook of her arm so that she could see his face. His eyes were open and, as he drank, he reached with one small hand to explore the hair that had fallen out of her ponytail to frame her face. The touch was so light, she barely felt it.
His hand dropped to his side and she felt him give a big sigh. Eyes drifting closed, he relaxed against her.
The privilege of being the person who got to hold this baby and offer him safety was not lost on her. He was beautiful, those long, dark lashes an inky smudge on his cheek. As the bottle slid out of his mouth, a milky peace settled on his face.
What a strange feeling it was to have someone else’s child in her arms, completely dependent on her. She didn’t want to risk him waking up, so slowly she moved one leg and then the other onto the couch and laid her head back, letting the sleepless night catch up with her.
* * *
Ash knocked on the door of Jordan’s cottage. The place had been falling down when his brother, Joe, moved in, but he’d repaired it. Now with Jordan’s touch, there were dark purple and gold pansies spilling out of pots on the whitewashed front steps. The front door was painted a bright coral and the ceiling of the porch a contrasting pale blue.
He would never have imagined that the colors would work but they did, and the eclectic place seemed to suit Jordan. He tapped lightly on the door. No answer. Glancing at his watch, he confirmed that it was nearly noon.
Maybe she was at the barn?
He knocked again, a little more loudly, and heard shuffling on the other side of the door. A few seconds later the door flew inward.
Jordan, the baby on her hip, squinted into the noonday sunlight. She rubbed the heel of her hand in one eye. “Wow. Bright.”
“I’m so sorry I woke you up. I brought food?”
“I could kiss you.” She grabbed his wrist and pulled him in the door. Two bright pink spots of color appeared in her pale cheeks. “But I won’t. I mean, obviously I won’t.”
He laughed. “You might want to reconsider when you see what’s in the bag. I brought cinnamon bread from my sister Jules’s bakery. Mom sent you sandwiches from the Hilltop for lunch and my sister Wynn is in town and made you a chicken casserole for dinner.”
“You guys.” She pushed the door open wider to let Gus out and Ash in. “Come on in. I assume you knocked more than once? I’m sorry. We were up most of the night.”
“How’s he doing today?” Ash laid the armload of supplies onto the kitchen island and began to unpack them into the refrigerator.
“He took a bottle, which I know he’s technically too old for, but it just felt right. He’s been asleep ever since.”
Ash held up a brown paper bag. “Toddler formula. I think your instincts are on target. Even if he’s three, he’s probably developmentally delayed. Trauma and neglect have serious consequences. And... I’m not telling you anything you don’t know already.”
“He didn’t sleep until around four, I guess. He doesn’t seem as scared as he was when I first got him home, but he doesn’t cry so it’s hard to tell.” She brushed a hand over the dark curls. Levi flinched.
Ash shook his head. “Poor kiddo. He’s had such a rough time.”
Dark brown eyes opened and scowled at Ash. Jordan was right, though. He didn’t seem terrified like he had in the hospital.
“You may not know it now, Levi, but we’re going to be friends, you and I.” Ash pulled a construction vehicle sticker out of his pocket.
Levi curled into Jordan’s side, but his eyes were on the sticker.
Jordan idly ran a hand over the baby’s arm, gentling him. He wondered if she did it on purpose or if it was just instinct to her, like the bottle. The morning sun poured in through the windows, touching her red hair with fire. She really was something.
“Have you taken him outside? We could take him on a walk, get him out of the house for some fresh air.”
“Good idea. Let me throw some jeans and boots on. Don’t want to be walking around the barn in...” Her voice drifted off as she noted his leather loafers.
He laughed. “A little horse manure won’t kill me. I’ll take him while you change.”
Jordan shifted Levi to hand him to Ash, but the toddler was having none of it, and his arms locked around her neck in a vise grip. She sighed. “I’ll sit him on the couch. Don’t let him fall off.”
“Yes, ma’am.” As Jordan disappeared into the bedroom, Ash studied Levi. With his thumb in his mouth and big, dark eyes trained on Ash, he wasn’t letting anything get past him. “I thought we made progress. Remember the lollipop last night?”
No response. They were going to have to do some testing on this little guy to see where his deficits were. Ash wasn’t even sure that Levi could hear.
Jordan opened the door of her bedroom, her hair twisted into braids, a ball cap on her head and black Hunter boots over her jeans.
Levi’s eyes followed her as she moved around the room. She smiled at him, her eyes shining. “Little man, you ready to go for a walk outside?”
When the toddler looked at the door as Jordan picked him up, Ash figured that answered his question about hearing. He could at least hear and understand some things. “Have you seen him crawl or walk?”
“No. I put him down on the floor a few times with a toy during the night but he didn’t play. No crawling or walking. He sat in one spot and sucked his thumb, watching every move I made.” She opened the door and stepped out onto the porch. “Wow, it’s really nice out here this afternoon.”
He grinned. “Spring in Alabama. Severe weather, freezing cold, warm, hot. It changes by the hour.”
They walked along side by side. The farm was peaceful, in its way. Pastoral, he guessed, was the right word for it. The pond was pretty—clear and spring-fed. Chickens wandered the yard. Goats, horses and a couple of spoiled donkeys grazed in the pasture. Because it was Saturday, though, half a dozen kids, who looked like they might have multiplied, raced around the yard.
Ash loved kids. Kids were awesome. It was one reason he had chosen to work with them when it came time to select a specialty. He did not, however, want kids of his own. He was going to leave that up to Joe, because his brother now had enough kids for the entire family, certainly enough to assuage his mother’s desire for grandchildren.
Gus, Jordan’s dog, loped up, circling them, nosing Levi’s jammie-clad foot. Jordan uttered a low “Heel” and Gus dropped into place by her side.
She stopped at the fence to the pasture. Claire’s horse Freckles was closest and the most curious. He lifted his head and snorted. She laughed. “He wants his apple, Levi. What do you think we should do?”
The little boy bounced once in her arms, the most animated Ash had seen him. He popped his thumb out of his mouth and pointed at Freckles. Jordan dug a piece of an apple out of her pocket and held it out to Freckles, whose soft lips plucked it gently from the palm of her hand.
A cat twined through Ash’s legs and around Jordan’s.
“Mama Kitty,” Jordan said to Levi. He pointed at the children climbing on a play gym that Ash had helped Joe build. “Kids.” Levi nodded and stuck his thumb back in his mouth. Jordan watched the kids, who were screaming in laughter. “You know my sister and I were in foster care for a while. We were relinquished by our biological parents and placed with a family for adoption, but it didn’t work out.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“I had a heart defect when I was born and had to have heart surgery before I was a year old. I don’t think the adoptive parents were prepared for a sick baby. They wanted to keep Claire, but the adoption agency refused to split us up. We were placed in a foster home.”
“How long before you were adopted?”
“Our foster mom adopted us when we were about eighteen months old. I’m not sure why it took so long, but that’s the system for you. Not everyone can have an idyllic childhood with Bertie and Frank as their parents.”
“Yeah, not so much.” As soon as the words were out in space, he regretted them. He didn’t like to talk about his childhood, at least what he remembered of it. Too many years had been spent in a drug-induced haze after surgeries, chemo and radiation. “When kids are sick, it puts a real strain on the family.”
Jordan silently fed another piece of apple to Freckles. When she finished, she looked at him, a quizzical expression in her ocean-blue eyes. “Are you speaking as a doctor?”
It was the perfect out. He could say yes and she would never question it, but what good would that do? “I had cancer when I was a kid. I spent most of two years in the hospital and then I was in and out all through school.”
“That must have been so hard.”
Her hand on his arm surprised him. He smiled, slid his fingers through his hair and looked away, embarrassed. “It was. No one in the family really talks about it much. Even me. Especially me, I guess.”
“We don’t have to talk about it, Ash.” Her voice was gentle, but he knew she meant it. Being with her was easy, and maybe that was why he found himself wanting to stay. To watch the sun travel the afternoon sky, talk to Jordan, watch the little guy’s eyes lose some of the wariness.
And that scared the mess out of him. Ash reached into his pocket for his keys. “I’m glad I got to see our little patient. Keep the cream on those irritated areas and stick with the formula for a while. I’ll see you in a few days at the office for his formal evaluation.”
Surprise hid in her eyes, but she nodded. “Sounds good. Thanks for the supplies.”
His car was just on the other side of the yard in the driveway. Was he running away?
Yes, probably.
And he didn’t have to dig deep into his psyche to figure out why.
Chapter Three (#u96d88f8f-fbad-5e81-851e-9e39512f2257)
Jordan bargained with Joe and Claire’s thirteen-year-old daughter, Amelia, to listen for Levi so she could do the morning chores with the animals. It cost her a drive into town to the middle school, but with Amelia safely at school, she and Levi had time for breakfast at the Hilltop before their appointment at the WIC—Women, Infant, Children nutrition—office.
The café was owned by Joe and Ash’s mom, Bertie, and her blueberry pancakes were the best in the state. Jordan pushed the door open, the bell on the door jingling.
Bertie looked up from behind the cash register and made a beeline toward them. “Oh, I heard about this little sweetie pie. Hi, Levi!”
Levi buried his head in Jordan’s shoulder and wailed. Jordan winced. “I’m sorry. He’s found his voice and he’s been using it. A lot.”
“No, it’s my fault. I always get excited and forget there’s a reason our kids end up in our family. We’re a little short on tables this morning, but Ash ran in for a cup of coffee and a Danish. He’s in the back corner.” As she said the words, she tucked her hand through Jordan’s arm and started walking.
“I don’t want to disturb him. Really, Bertie, I can wait.” A sense of desperation laced her voice. “We can get takeout!”
“Nonsense. He’ll love the company.” Bertie all but dragged Jordan to the corner table. “Look who’s here to have breakfast with you, Ashley.”
Ash’s jaw clenched and Jordan smothered a laugh as she slid onto the seat. “Only a mother can get away with calling you by your full name.”
Bertie chuckled. “I’ll be right back with coffee for you and...chocolate milk for the little one?”
Jordan looked at Levi. “Sure, let’s give it a try.”
Ash was wearing khaki pants, a spotless white shirt and a bright green bow tie with blue whales. His black square-frame glasses should have made him look nerdy, but didn’t. He just got cuter.
“Nice tie.”
She was teasing him but he looked up from his Danish and said, “Thanks.”
Catching the expression on her face, his eyes took on a knowing look. “Oh, you’re joking. Hmm. It must only be the under-twelve set that likes dolphin-print bow ties.”
He winked at Levi and a little pang hit her dead center in the belly. Why did he have to be so ridiculously handsome?
Their waitress, Lanna, placed a high chair at the end of the table and came back seconds later with a mug of coffee for Jordan. “The new baby’s cute. What can I get you?”
“Blueberry pancakes, please. Nothing for Levi, here.”
“Got it.” Lanna ripped a ticket off and shoved the pad back in her pocket. She turned to Ash. “A refill for you, hot stuff?”
Ash cut his eyes at Lanna. “Such abuse. I’m leaving.”
She was laughing under her breath as she walked to the kitchen to give Jordan’s ticket to the cook.
“Lanna loves to rub that in my face.” His cheeks turned ruddy. “When I was thirteen, I came in for a sandwich. She asked me what kind of bread I wanted and called me Ash, as she should. I said, ‘that’s “hot stuff” to you.’”
Jordan nearly spit out her coffee as she choked in laughter. “No wonder she gives you grief. You totally deserve it.”
He laughed and slid a ten under the sugar dispenser. “I know. I’m not sure what I was thinking. I was barely five feet tall and a hundred pounds soaking wet.”
“That’s some confidence.” She lifted baby Levi from the seat beside her into the high chair, but before she even got him seated, he was screaming. High-pitched, terrified screeching. She picked him up immediately, aware that every eye in the restaurant was on her.
Jordan pulled him into her arms and cuddled him as much as he would let her, saying over and over again into his ear, “You’re okay, Levi. You’re okay.”
It wasn’t long before the screams turned into sobs and then sniffles. He stuck his thumb in his mouth and closed his eyes tight against the world.
“Wow, when he found his voice, he really found it.” A little shell-shocked, she sat back against the bench seat, hands shaking, her face flaming. “It didn’t cross my mind that strapping him into the high chair would trigger the trauma for him.”
Ash slid his glass of ice water to her. “You did exactly the right thing to handle it. He calmed down quickly. The pediatrician in me is impressed.”
“I’m familiar with working with traumatized kids, just not usually this young. Being his foster mom makes it different than being a therapist, too.”
“I’ve heard great things from my patients who are clients of yours.”
She smiled. “You should come out some time and watch a session. The kids think they’re just coming to ride, but they work hard. And honestly, there’s something special about the horses. Some connection they have with kids with all kinds of special needs. I can’t explain it, but it works.”
“There’s a huge need for people to have options for therapy. Not just kids, either. Don’t give up.”
“I won’t. I’m not sure I could if I wanted to.” Her therapy practice was her passion and she absolutely loved the work she did with the kids. She’d even coached a few adult PTSD survivors with good results.
“Don’t give up with Levi, either. He’s got a long way to go, but we’ll get him there.” Ash glanced at his watch and slid out of the booth. “I’ve got to run. My first patient will be waiting for me.”
He took a few steps toward the door and turned back. “Hey, Jordan. Meltdowns happen. He learned during this one that you will be there for him when they do.”
Touched, she nodded. To be honest, it was all she could do. She had no words. She watched Ash walk out of the restaurant, his characteristic confidence evident as he waved at Lanna and kissed his mom, stopping long enough to whirl her around until she swatted at him to put her down.
Lanna slid the blueberry pancakes onto the table, along with a pitcher of warm maple syrup. “Bless this baby’s sweet heart. Yours, too. You stay as long as you like to finish that up.”
“Thanks, Lanna.”
Jordan leaned forward to take the first bite and nearly choked as someone popped into the seat across from her. A pretty blonde she recognized—from church, maybe?
“Hey, Jordan, I’m Darla. We met at the potluck after church a few weeks ago. I heard last night that you were picking this little one up and I called around. We’ve got meals planned for you for the next couple of weeks and Suzette Sloan pulled some baby supplies together for you. It’s not much but would it be okay if she drops it off on your porch?”
Jordan’s throat was full of unshed tears. She swallowed hard, focusing on the solid weight of little Levi in her arms. Meeting Darla’s sparkling dark brown eyes, she smiled, willing her lips not to tremble. “I don’t even know what to say. Y’all are so generous.”
“You don’t have to say anything—just say yes!” Darla laughed and pulled her cell phone out of her purse. “And give me your phone number in case we need to get in touch with you.”
Jordan rattled it off as Darla typed it in. “What made you guys think about doing this?”
Darla tucked a loose curl behind her ear. “Well, to be honest, I think we all wish that we had the nerve to do what you guys are doing out there on the farm. Maybe someday.” Darla’s phone buzzed and she glanced at it before jumping to her feet. “I’m supposed to be at Clara’s school right now. Okay, meals will start tonight and we’ll just leave everything on your porch. I’ll text you so you have my number.”
As quick as she had arrived, Darla was gone. Jordan patted Levi on the back and decided to take her pancakes to go. She and Levi had to be at the WIC office in twenty minutes.
She glanced across the street at Ash’s tidy office—with bright white paint and shiny black shutters. She wasn’t really sure what to make of their newfound friendship, if it was friendship. They’d forged a kind of bond, by caring for Levi.
But maybe it was just that, a mutual concern for a sweet, sad baby boy.
Whatever. She had more important things on her mind than Ash Sheehan. Things like building her therapy practice and making sure Levi healed. She didn’t have time to worry about Ash and their maybe-friendship. In fact, she was sure it wasn’t anything at all.
And just to make sure she remembered that, she was going to stay as far away from the handsome doctor as possible.
* * *
When Jordan got home, Levi’s caseworker was sitting on the porch steps with a file spread around her and a pencil between her teeth. Jordan had just spent three hours in the WIC office with a toddler who refused—understandably—to be strapped into a stroller. She was absolutely exhausted, and unlike her small charge, she couldn’t take a nap on the drive home.
Bartlet nickered at her over the fence. The horses were waiting for her. And so, apparently, was Reesa. Jordan hitched Levi higher on her hip and took a deep breath. “Hey, I didn’t know you were coming this afternoon.”
Reesa gathered the papers and pulled them into a stack. “I had to visit with the twins, Jamie and John, and Claire today, so I thought I’d drop in to see Levi, too. Save me a trip another day. How’s he doing?”
Pushing open the door to the cottage, Jordan let the dog out and tried to remember if she’d left anything embarrassing on the floor. “Come on in.”
She placed sleeping Levi on the crib mattress on the floor and went to the kitchen to pour two glasses of sweet tea, kicking a loose pair of socks under the couch as she went. “He hates the crib. We’re working on it.”
Reesa, in one of the chairs, waved a hand, dismissing it. “No worries. It takes time, sometimes more than you’d think, for them to adjust.”
“Are we going to have a lot of time? Wait. Don’t answer that. I know you don’t have any way to really know.” She held one of the glasses out to Reesa, with a napkin.
Reesa stuck a pencil into the pile of riotous curls on top of her head and leaned forward to take the glass. “Neither Mom nor Dad bonded out, so they’re still in jail. I’m going to see them later this week to get some names of family from them. If they still won’t give us anyone, we’ll try to get the judge to compel them to, but we don’t have a whole lot to hold over their heads. They’re already facing significant time with the drug charges and the child endangerment.”
“So we’re probably looking at six months with Levi.”
Reesa nodded, the colorful curls on her head bouncing wildly. “At least. Levi will be classified medically fragile and I have no idea what we’ll find when we start looking at family.” She paused and, with her customary directness, added, “Do we need to find him another placement?”
“No.” Jordan didn’t hesitate. In just a couple of days, Levi’s journey had become inextricably entwined with hers and she had to see it through with him. “He’s just starting to trust me. I’m not going to do that to him. He has enough to deal with without me adding to it.”
“Okay, good. Obviously, I think you’re the perfect person for him since you can help him with any kind of physical or occupational therapy that he might need at home.” Reesa wrote something in her notes and looked up again. “Now, let’s talk about him. You said he hates the crib. He will sleep out here, though?”
“Yes. I think it’s the thing about being enclosed. He freaks out in the car seat and high chair, too.”
“Poor guy. How are his burns?”
“Better. I’ve been putting the cream on them and they look less angry.”
“If you can snap some pics and send them to me, that would be good. I have the ones from the hospital, but I’d like photos of his progress. Is he eating okay?”
“He won’t eat solid food. I had a huge fight with WIC today trying to get them to pay for formula for a three-year-old. I’m going to have to get some documentation from the pediatrician that it’s okay for Levi to take a bottle, at least for now.”
Reesa looked up. “That really cute pediatrician who came with you to the hospital?”
“He didn’t come with me.” Jordan scowled. “He met me there.”
“Mmm-hmm. And what’s going on with you two?”
“What? Nothing.” Oh, man, she hoped that it wasn’t that obvious that she was so unbelievably awkward around him. She twirled the end of one of her braids around her finger, let it go and then picked it up, wrapping it around her finger again. Then again, maybe she was just awkward in general. “Ash and I—we’re just friends. His brother is married to my sister, that’s all.”
“He’s really good-looking. Maybe you should start something.” Reesa raised one perfectly manicured, pierced eyebrow.
Jordan sputtered out a laugh. “That’s entirely inappropriate! And seriously, I’m not his type.”
“Okay, I hear you.” Reesa closed her notebook. “One last thing. I know Levi just got out of the hospital, but you’ll need to make an appointment and get his intake form filled out by the superhot, there’s-nothing-going-on-there Dr. Sheehan this week.”
Jordan dug deep to find some peace and took a cleansing breath. She would make it work with her schedule. Somehow. “Of course.”
“And now, I’m really sorry, but I have to see him awake while I’m here. Can you wake him up?”
“Yes. He’s been sleeping a lot. He’s healing, for one thing, but I’m not sure he had much restful sleep before. Let me get him a bottle before we wake him. He hasn’t had anything in a couple of hours.” In the kitchen, she got a bottle out of her new stash, quickly mixing six ounces of formula for Levi. “He’s not always happy to see me, so I’m just warning you.”
“You’re doing a great job with him, Jordan. He’s going to adjust. What are you going to do when you have to go back to work this week?”
“My hours are flexible and Claire has Mrs. Matthews, who’s agreed to keep him during the day when I have clients. Unfortunately, it will be another adjustment for him.” Jordan lifted Levi into her arms and tickled his foot to wake him up. He woke up scowling and opened his mouth to scream. She stuck the bottle in it.
Reesa laughed and gathered her stuff. “Good enough. You’re a natural, but I guess you’ve had some practice with all of Claire’s kids.”
“I have. Will you keep me posted if there are any changes?”
“I’ll do my best. And I’ll see you next month if not before.” Reesa let herself out the front door.
Jordan knew that Reesa meant well, but she also knew that information flowed slowly and usually in one direction in the system, from foster parent to caseworker, not the other way around. She looked into Levi’s big brown eyes, which were focused on hers. “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. But you don’t have to worry, buddy. We’ll figure it out.”
She hoped she was telling the truth. She prayed constantly for this sweet baby, who so did not deserve what had happened to him. God, do Your will for him. Make it unmistakable.
Her phone buzzed on the table beside her. A text from Reesa:
Don’t forget about the pediatrician.
As if she could.
Chapter Four (#u96d88f8f-fbad-5e81-851e-9e39512f2257)
Ash stopped at the reception desk. His nurse, Marissa, slid a file to the bottom of the stack on the counter. A grandmotherly woman with a heart of gold, she was the organizational glue that held his practice together. “We have a new patient. Levi Wheeler, three years old.”
He glanced through the window into the waiting area and saw Jordan with Levi in her arms. He smiled. The other moms were dressed to the nines, having been taught from the cradle—according to his mother—not to leave the house without hair done and lipstick in place. Jordan was herself, boots and flannel, hair tied back, rebellious red curls framing her face. Levi had his head buried in her armpit. “Go ahead and put them in the red room.”
“But—”
They were overbooked. They were always overbooked because who could turn away a sick kid? So they went in order of arrival. Sometimes, though, you had to break the rules. “Marissa, take a look at him.”
His sweet nurse peeked over the counter and sighed. “Poor little one. He looks terrified.”
“He’s her new foster son. Let’s get the two of them in a room.” Ash stripped off his white lab coat and tossed it over a chair before picking up Levi’s thin chart. He opened the door to the waiting room. “Ms. Conley?”
Jordan’s eyes widened and darted around the room to the other moms, but she hastily made her way to the door. Jordan glanced out at the people lining the walls in the waiting room. “I think they’re planning a mutiny. Might want to send out some snacks or something.”
Ash laughed. “I’ll take that under advisement. We thought waiting in a room might be more comfortable for Levi.”
“You thought right. Thank you.”
“Hey, buddy.” Ash reached into his pocket for a sticker. He held it out to Levi, who looked at him from under Jordan’s chin.
The little boy’s eyes were huge in his thin face and seemed to question Ash’s motives, but he stuck his hand out and took the sticker from Ash’s hand. Ash considered that a victory. “You’ll be waiting in the red room, better known as the Giraffe Room. I’ve got just a couple of patients to see before Levi, but I won’t be long. Marissa?”
Ash’s nurse showed Jordan to the red room and followed them in. After an eight-month-old with an ear infection and a two-year-old with eczema, Ash knocked on the door. He pushed it open to find that Jordan had sketched roads on the paper cover of the exam table and was showing Levi how to make sound effects for his Matchbox cars.
When the toddler saw Ash, he pulled his car close to his chest and narrowed his dark brown eyes.
Tucking the pen and extra cars back into the diaper bag, Jordan smiled at Levi. “It’s okay, buddy. Dr. Sheehan is just going to give you a checkup. Remember how we watched the little girl give her stuffed animal a checkup on TV?”
“Time for a checkup, time for a checkup!” Ash sang the song from the kid’s show.
Jordan laughed. “See, Levi? He even knows the song.”
Ash pulled a couple more stickers out of his pocket, once again the pediatrician’s secret weapon. He held them out to Levi. “We’ll do as quick a check as possible today so I can fill out your form for the caseworker. I’m hoping he’ll get used to me so he’ll let me do a full exam soon without it being too traumatizing.”
“What do you need me to do?”
“If you’ll pick him up and put him on your shoulder, I’ll look in his ears.”
Jordan lifted Levi, and Ash took a peek in one ear and the other.
“Great job, Levi. Jordan, if you want to hold him in your lap with his back against your chest, I want to get a look in his throat and nose. I’ll try to be fast.”
Jordan held Levi’s arms and hands still and Ash took a quick look in the little guy’s nose. Just as he was gearing up to yell, Ash got a look in his throat. “All done. Let’s put him on the table and we’ll see how far we can get with an exam. I want to check those burns if he’ll let me.”
She laid Levi on the table and Ash held his exam light up, pretending to blow it out. No laughs, but at least he got a little smile from the somber little boy. He gently checked one fragile arm and then the other. The burns looked better.
A quick check of reflexes and he would call it a day. Ash slid his thumbnail up the sole of Levi’s foot. His big toe curved back and his toes spread. Babinski in a three-and-a-half-year-old?
He tested the other foot. The primitive reflex was not as strong, but it was still there. With long practice, Ash hid his concern, smiling at Levi. “You did awesome, little man!”
“So, rainbow fingernails are in now?” Jordan pulled a T-shirt over Levi’s head.
Ash glanced down at his hands and yes, his fingernails were painted in rainbow pastel shades. His face flushed hot, but he laughed and shrugged. “It’s the latest thing, didn’t you know? I have a little patient going through chemo right now. She has specialists overseeing her care, but when I can, I go by to see her. Last night she was bored and her mom needed a nap, hence my new fashion statement.”
Jordan’s eyes were soft. “I’m sorry. That must hit home for you.”
“It does, a little,” he admitted. “And she’s a real sweetheart of a kid. I hate it for her. You ready?”
She pulled some soft knit pants over Levi’s scrawny legs and picked him up. “Now I am.”
“Good. I want to run a few tests on Levi. Because he’s so small and isn’t crawling or walking, I want to rule out some more serious issues. Marissa will call you once the appointments are set up, okay?”
Jordan stopped halfway out the door. “Should I be worried?”
He smiled into her already very concerned eyes. “Not yet. I’ll tell you when to worry. I promise.”
She nodded. “It’s just—He’s been through a lot, you know?”
“I do know.” Ash opened the door because feelings were churning in his chest. He saw dozens of patients every day and never had he wanted to take one of the mothers in his arms and reassure her that everything would be okay. He cleared his throat. “Jordan, I promise we’re going to take good care of him.”
He watched as she walked down the hall toward the reception area, her red head bent toward a dark, curly one.
“Doc?” Marissa shook his arm, startling him. “You have a patient waiting in two.”
“Right. I need to make some notes first. And I want you to go ahead and make an appointment for a CT scan for Levi—spine and hips.” Marissa noted his request and walked away. He stood there a second longer.
Jordan was so different from other girls—women—he’d known. She hadn’t had an easy time of it but she wasn’t waiting for life to come to her. Instead, she took life by the reins, making it be what she wanted it to be. There was a part of him that deeply desired that kind of determination and definitely admired it.
He called after her, “Jordan!”
She turned back and he was at her side in a second, before he had time to think about it, consider the consequences.
“Go out with me. Dinner on Friday?”
Jordan stared into his eyes as if scrutinizing his motives and he wondered what she thought she saw there. He didn’t even know what his motives were.
After a long minute, when every eye in the place seemed to be trained on him, she said, “No, thank you.”
No, thank you. That was what you say when someone offers you Brussels sprouts and you hate them, not what you say when someone you like invites you to dinner.
Over the rushing in his ears, he heard her say a few more words, and then over it all, the sound of an infant screaming in the room to his left.
Marissa put a merciful hand on his arm. “Room two is waiting, Dr. Sheehan.”
He turned and went to the door of the exam room. With his hand on the doorknob, he stopped. Struggling to come up with appropriate words, he finally said, “Okay, then, I’ll see you around.”
Color high in her cheeks, Jordan nodded and fled.
* * *
A week later Jordan was still thinking about that moment. He’d closed in on her with long strides, blue eyes smiling at her, those tiny crinkles in the corners. Stupid rainbow fingernails, making her feel all warm and mushy about him.
In her mind, when he’d asked her to go to dinner, she didn’t blurt out that he wasn’t her type. She didn’t even hesitate. She smiled slowly up at him and said, What took you so long? Or That sounds like fun.
Was that so hard?
She scowled and shoveled fresh pellets into Bartlet’s stall. “Yes, thank you, that sounds like fun.” See, how hard was that?
“Who are you talking to?”
She went still. She knew that deep voice. Slowly, she turned around, her cheeks burning. Ash leaned on the door to the barn, a bakery bag dangling from his relaxed fingers. He was absolutely spotless, as usual. Nary a crease would dare to mar his perfect khakis.
Did the man never get thrown up on? He was a pediatrician.
In contrast, she was dressed—as usual—in riding pants and flannel. She had mud down her side where one of her young clients used her hip as a stepstool getting off his horse after therapy.
And she had been talking to herself. About him.
She stood the shovel on end and raised one eyebrow. “I’m a very good conversationalist, I’ll have you know.”
“Apparently.” He pushed off the wall with his shoulder and held out the bag. “For you. Double chocolate. Jules said it was your favorite.”
“It is. And you have perfect timing, actually. I’m done here. Want to share? I have milk.” When he gave her a look, she laughed. “No worries. We ate earlier because Levi can’t hold out until I’m finished with the animals. His babysitter—actually, your sister Wynn—is putting him to bed. He’s finally able to sleep in his room and even goes into his crib without crying.”
She slid the barn door closed and locked it.
“You don’t have to put the horses in?” He followed her down the trail around the pond toward her home.
“It’s warm enough now that I let them stay in the field sometimes. They work hard during the day, so they frolic at night.” Her lips twitched at her horse humor. See, she was funny. She could carry on a conversation. Reaching her front porch, she sat on the small bench outside the front door and shucked her boots, entering the cottage in sock feet, Ash right behind her. “Hey, Wynn, how did he do?”
Ash’s sister Wynn put her finger to her lips. “Sound asleep. That last bottle did the trick.”
“He didn’t sleep long this afternoon. I figured he’d go down pretty easy.” Gus nosed his way out of Levi’s room and ambled over, bumping his head against her hand until she crouched down to give him her attention. She looked up at Wynn as she scratched behind Gus’s ears. “Did he eat any food?”
“A few crackers and some mandarin oranges, even swallowed a little bit.” Wynn pulled the ponytail holder out of her long blond hair, shaking it out to fall down her back. “He’s precious. What time do you need me tomorrow?”
“My clients are in the morning tomorrow, so Mrs. Matthews can watch him. Thanks, though. You’re a lifesaver.”
“Pish.” Wynn picked up her purse, a small suede satchel with six-inch fringe, as she walked to the door. “I love that little guy.”
Ash towered over his petite sister. He put his arm around her. “If you’re looking for something to do while you’re home, I could use some help in the office. My receptionist is on maternity leave as of Tuesday.”
Wynn gave her brother a light shove. “Good luck with that.”
He closed the door behind Wynn. “She’s always been mean to me.”
“I can’t understand why. I know you’re glad to see her. She said she hasn’t been home for more than a day or two in three years.” Jordan grinned and held up the bakery bag, thankful that no awkwardness lingered between them. “Want a piece of the cupcake?”
He smiled. “There’s an oatmeal cookie in there for me. I was hoping we could talk for a minute.”
Unease drilled her right in the belly, but she poured two big glasses of cold milk and placed the cupcake on a napkin. “Let’s go sit in the living room and I’ll light a fire.”
With a long match from the container on the mantel, she lit the tinder under the logs. After watching a few seconds to make sure it caught, she joined Ash on the floor behind the coffee table. Gus settled beside her, his big head in her lap. “You don’t really strike me as a sit-on-the-floor-and-eat-cookies kind of guy.”
He looked up, surprised. “Really? At home, I always eat cookies on the floor.”
She laughed. “Okay, okay.”
The cupcake was her favorite but she couldn’t eat it, not knowing that Ash wanted to talk about Levi. “So what’s going on?”
Ash picked up the cookie and put it down again without taking a bite. “Okay. Let’s start at the beginning. We know that Levi is developmentally delayed. Trauma can do that. Neglect can do that. But when I examined him, he had a reflex—the Babinski reflex—that should be gone by the time he’s three. Sometimes if a child still has that reflex later, it’s a sign that there might be nerve damage. Because of the nature of the abuse that he suffered, I felt like it would be better to do the tests and find out for sure.”
“You sound like you’re reading from a report.”
He made a face. “Sorry. Professional hazard. I usually do better.”
She threaded her fingers into Gus’s thick pelt, letting the familiarity of his soft fur soothe her. “It’s okay. So the tests that we had done were to see if he has nerve damage. Like to his spine?”
“Yes. The fact that he isn’t crawling or walking even though his nutrition is better and he’s getting stronger made me wonder if his condition is irreversible.”
Jordan couldn’t breathe. “And the results of the test?”
“They were inconclusive.” His eyes were on hers, and the concern in them was so deep that it made her feel exposed, like he could see how shattered she was at the thought that Levi might have suffered permanent damage at the hands of his parents.
She swallowed hard, trying to process but knowing that she couldn’t really do that until she had some space to grieve. “So what you’re saying is that he may never walk?”
He stared at the fire for a second before he answered, meeting her eyes again. “I’m saying it’s a possibility. Kids’ bodies heal differently than adults. We just don’t know—won’t know—until we know.”
Burying her face in her hands, she tried so hard to fight back the emotional response to what he had told her and just look at it logically. She couldn’t. Silent sobs racked her body as she tried in vain to just take in a breath. How cruel was it that the abuse he had suffered strapped in a chair and left there could consign him to a wheelchair permanently?
Slowly, she became aware of Ash’s arms around her, his lips murmuring against her hair. “It’s gonna be okay.”
She pushed away from him, scrubbing the tears from her cheeks. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what—I hate to cry.”
“You love him. That’s understandable.”
“He’s not even my kid.” She drew in a long, shaky breath. “And somehow that makes it even worse. He deserves a happy, stable life after all he’s been through and I have no way of making sure that happens.”
“I know. He does deserve that.” He rubbed his temples with his long doctor fingers and she noted that his fingernails were no longer rainbow, but there was a smudge of pink polish on one nail.
She felt a pang somewhere in the region of her heart as she thought about the fact that he took time to do manicures with little girls with cancer. Maybe he wasn’t quite the playboy that she made him out to be in her mind. He’d also taken the time to come here and talk through this with her because he knew it would be difficult.
She took another deep breath and tried to focus. Okay, so Levi might be in a wheelchair. At the very least, this information meant that he needed physical therapy immediately. It would be a long, arduous road for him, and she hated that thought. “Is it painful?”
“His legs? I don’t think so. He doesn’t act like it is. And he does have at least some feeling in his legs. My recommendation would be to do intense physical therapy and reevaluate in six months. There’s a doctor in Atlanta who has done some pretty great work with injuries of this kind, too. It would be good to get a second opinion. I’m not a specialist.”
“It’s going to be hard.”
“Yes.” He paused. “No doubt about that—it will be hard, on both of you.”
“I’ve done hard things before.” Claire had been working full-time when their mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It had been quick and it had been brutal and, while they shared the responsibility, it had been Jordan who had been at their mother’s side.
“When I think about the things in my life that shaped my character the most, it isn’t the things that came easily to me that I remember.” Ash made a face. “Sounds like a cliché when I say it like that, but it’s not.”
She nodded her head slowly. “It really doesn’t matter how it affects me. I’m an adult and I may not have known what we were facing, but I signed up for this. He didn’t.”
The fire had burned down to embers. Ash looked at his watch and grimaced. “I should go. I have a patient having her tonsils out in the morning and I promised I’d be there before she goes in for surgery.”
He got to his feet and tousled her hair slightly. “It’s gonna be okay. You don’t have to do this alone. We’ll all be here to help.”
Once again, Jordan, who hated to cry, had tears pooling in her eyes. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She heard the door open and looked back. “Hey, Ash.”
When he turned around, she said, “Ask me again sometime.”
“Ask you wh—Oh.” He grinned, that all-American smile of his flashing white in the dim room. “Maybe when my pride recovers.”
The door closed behind him before she could think of a clever retort. He was so confusing to her. She knew him to be a good-time guy, never serious about anything except maybe medicine. Now that she was spending more time with him, she was seeing a sweet, more sensitive side. She couldn’t help but wonder which one was the real Ash Sheehan.
* * *
Ash walked slowly around the pond toward his car. The stars were so bright out here, even just a couple of miles from town. The black sky was vast and it seemed like it should be quiet, but it wasn’t. Horses blowing, donkeys shuffling, wind whispering in the tops of the pines and the occasional shout of a child who was supposed to be asleep.
It was peaceful, even with his mind on a special little boy with a very special foster mom.
“Nice night for a walk?”
The voice startled his heart into double time until he realized it was his brother, Joe, sitting in the dark on the back porch of the farmhouse. He walked a little closer. “A little chilly, to be honest. What are you doing?”
“Having my celebratory bedtime root beer. Want one?”
Ash shrugged. “Sure.”
When Joe came back from the kitchen, Ash took the cold amber bottle and smiled. “You got the good stuff.”
“Yes, well, by this time of day, I feel the need to treat myself.” Joe took a swig, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and said, “So what’s going on with Jordan?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
Joe pierced Ash with a look from his ice-blue eyes. “You have a reputation with the ladies. Nothing wrong with that—until you set your sights on my sister-in-law.”
“I...umm...I don’t have my sights set on anyone. If you must know, I asked her out and she turned me down.”
“Great. Now you’ll see her as a challenge.”
“I won’t. I don’t, Joe. I like her. She’s different than the women I date. We’re friends, I think.”
“You think?” In the relative darkness of the porch with only the glow from the kitchen windows for light, Joe’s glower was still spectacular.
“Do they teach you to do that in cop school or were you just blessed to be able to use that look at will?” Ash grinned. “I’m kidding. Yes, we’re friends. I’m her foster son’s pediatrician, that’s all.”
Joe drained the last of his root beer and set the bottle down none too gently. “If you should happen to change your mind about that, don’t.”
“I’ll consider that carefully.” Ash handed Joe his own empty bottle and walked down the steps. “You know, I’m not as shallow as you think, Joe.”
“I don’t think you’re shallow, but your relationships usually are. Jordan deserves better.”
As he walked to his car, slightly irritated by his older brother’s characterizations, he had to admit that Joe was right. His relationships usually were shallow by design.
And Jordan did deserve better than him.
Chapter Five (#u96d88f8f-fbad-5e81-851e-9e39512f2257)
Jordan pulled the body brush out of her grooming kit and went to work brushing off the dirt and dust she’d loosened with the curry comb. She had Leo tied off on one side of the barn door while Amelia worked on Freckles on the other side. During the week, the volunteers who came in to assist with clients did the daily grooming before tacking up. They were awesome, but she wanted her own hands on her horses at least once a week. She was the one who knew them best and she could recognize a little problem before it became a big problem.
Joe’s daughter, Amelia, laughed as Freckles’s tail smacked her in the back. Again. “I really think he does that on purpose.”
“He definitely does.” Jordan scraped a stubborn mud spot off Leo’s shoulder. “He thinks it’s hilarious to grab the end of my braids. We should’ve named him Rascal.”
Sundays had become—hands down—Jordan’s favorite time of the week at Red Hill Farm. Since they got their first foster crew in, Claire had insisted they have family dinners on the lawn after church. Every Sunday the family gathered and ate together on the long row of picnic tables. When it was cold, they had a fire. When it rained, they ate inside in all the nooks and crannies of the old plantation house.
Most of the time the spread was a hodgepodge of makings for sandwiches fruit, and whatever anyone else wanted to bring. Sometimes they had a lot of green bean casseroles, but the point wasn’t the food.
It was being together.
Over the last few months, as foster children had come and gone, their families had been included in Sunday family dinner, too. It wasn’t unusual to see a birth family sitting with a foster family. Black, white, grandparents, young parents. In Jordan’s mind, it was a picture of what a table in Heaven would look like.
Church, family, horses, perfect.
“Can I help?” One of Claire and Joe’s younger ones, a tiny six-year-old named Penny, stood at the fence. Behind Penny, Jordan could see a group of kids around Ash, who had brought his guitar and had them squealing with laughter at his silly songs.
She smiled at Penny. “How about I finish up with Leo here and then we bring Hagrid out for a ride? He could really use the exercise.”
Penny nodded, big brown eyes wide on Jordan’s face. A month ago those eyes wouldn’t even connect, the trauma she’d experienced evident in every inch of her. Narrow shoulders had curved in as if to protect herself from some potential attempt to steal more of her childhood. And Jordan was reminded again that the children at Red Hill Farm weren’t a distraction, they were the reason they did this.
Penny’s eyes were still on Jordan, taking everything in. Jordan held up the tool she was using. “This pick cleans Leo’s feet so that his hooves stay strong and healthy.”
Scraping the dirt and muck out of Leo’s hooves, she checked for any sores, cracks or infection. She’d been Penny once, a long time ago, just wanting to be close to the horses. “See how easy that is? But remember that Leo is used to me. He’s been my horse for a long time, so he’s comfortable with me around his feet. Even so, I still put my hand on him when I’m moving around so he knows where I am when he can’t see me.”
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