Sweet Trouble
Susan Mallery
Then Five years ago, wild, irresponsible, sexy Jesse met adorable, geeky Matt.Jesse taught him how to dress, how to socialise and how to be the perfect boyfriend. Her perfect boyfriend. Then she got pregnant. Now Jesse knows it’s time to go back home — her little boy Gabe should meet his daddy. Matt is furious. He didn’t believe Jesse’s baby was his all those years ago. But Gabe is obviously his son.What Next? Jesse just wants a good life for Gabe. She’s working in the family bakery to mend things with her sister and if Matt can be a father to Gabe then everything will be perfect. But Matt is still angry. He can’t forgive Jesse and he wants revenge…
About the Author
SUSAN MALLERY is the New York Times bestselling author of over one hundred romances and she has yet to run out of ideas! Always reader favourites, her books have appeared on the USA Today bestseller list and, of course, the New York Times list. She recently took home the prestigious National Reader’s Choice Award. As her degree in Accounting wasn’t very helpful in the writing department, Susan earned a Master’s in Writing Popular Fiction.
Susan makes her home in the Pacific Northwest where, rumour has it, all that rain helps with creativity. Susan is married to a fabulous hero-like husband and has a six-pound toy poodle … who is possibly the cutest dog on the planet.
Visit her website at www.SusanMallery.com
Sweet Trouble
Susan Mallery
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
To Lee—who keeps me sane.
You are a gift and I would be lost without you.
Thank you.
CHAPTER ONE
“THEY’RE CALLING YOU a ruthless bastard,” Diane said as she scanned the article in the business magazine. “You must be happy.”
Matthew Fenner looked at his secretary, but didn’t speak. Eventually she glanced up and smiled.
“You like being called a ruthless bastard,” she reminded him.
“I like respect,” he corrected.
“Or fear.”
He nodded. “Fear works.”
Diana dropped the open magazine on his desk. “Don’t you ever want someone to think you’re nice?” she asked.
“No.”
Being the nice guy meant getting screwed. He’d learned that a long time ago. He picked up one of the messages by his phone. Ironically, the woman who had taught him every aspect of that lesson had just called.
His secretary sighed. “I worry about you.”
“You’re wasting your time.”
“Don’t panic. I only do it on my off hours.”
He scowled at his fifty-something assistant, but she ignored him. While he would never admit it, the fact that he didn’t intimidate her was one of the reasons she’d lasted so long. Although he had a reputation for being the kind of businessman who left his competition bleeding on the side of the road, he didn’t enjoy watching his staff cower. At least not all the time.
“Did you have anything else?” he asked, then looked pointedly at the door.
She rose. “Jesse called again. That makes three calls in three days. Are you calling her back?”
“Does it matter?”
“Yes. If you’re going to continue to ignore her, I’d like to just tell her and put her out of her misery.” Diane frowned. “You’re usually more clear with your BGFs. They rarely phone after you dump them.”
“I’ve asked you not to call them that.”
Diane blinked innocently. “Have you? I’m sorry. I keep forgetting.”
She was lying, but he didn’t call her on it. Referring to the women he dated as BGFs—short for bimbo girlfriends—was her way of showing disapproval. She complained his women were interchangeable—like fashion dolls. All physically similar, unnaturally beautiful and lacking in heart and brains. She wasn’t wrong.
What Diane couldn’t bring herself to believe was that he dated them on purpose. He wasn’t looking for more.
“She’s someone I used to know,” he said, then wished he hadn’t. Diane didn’t need the information. That part of his life had ended a long time ago.
“Really? Does she actually have a personality, or—” she waved her hands in front of her face as if to keep from fainting “—a brain? Now that you mention it, she sounded almost normal.”
“I didn’t mention it.”
“Hmm. I’m sure you did. So tell me about your mysterious past with this woman.”
“You can leave now.”
“Why is she back in Seattle? Is she nice? Would I like her? Do you like her?”
He pointed at the door.
Diane walked across his office. “So you’re saying the next time she calls to put her through, right?”
He ignored her and she left.
Matt rose, then crossed to the window. His office was at the top of an Eastside high-rise with an impressive view. His business life defined every aspect of success. He’d made it. He had everything he wanted and more—money, power, respect and no one to answer to.
Slowly, deliberately, he crumpled the note with the message from Jesse and tossed it into the trash.
DESPITE THE PROMISES of several famous poets and a couple of tear-jerker country songs, Jesse Keyes discovered it was possible to go home again, which was just her bad luck. Not that she could blame anyone for her current circumstances—she’d decided to return to Seattle all on her own. Well, okay, maybe she’d had a little help from the cute guy in her life.
She glanced in the rearview mirror and smiled at her four-year-old son.
“Guess what?” she asked.
His dark eyes brightened as he grinned at her. “Are we there yet?”
“We’re here!”
Gabe clapped his hands. “I like here.”
They were in town for the summer or however long it took to get her past in order and her future set. Give or take a week.
Jesse put the car in Park, then got out and opened the rear passenger seat. She unbuckled Gabe from his car seat and helped him out of the car. He stood next to her and stared at the four-story building.
“We’re staying here?” he asked, his voice low with awe. “Really?”
The extended-stay hotel was modest at best—a local place. Jesse didn’t have the money for one of those fancy national chains. But the room came with a kitchen and the online reviews had said it was clean, which is what mattered to her. Once she had an idea of how long they were staying, she would look into renting a furnished apartment in the University District. It was summer, which meant empty rooms while the students were away and cheap rent.
But to Gabe, who’d never been in a hotel in his life, their temporary shelter was exciting and new.
“Really,” she said, taking his hand. “Want me to get a room on the top floor?”
His eyes widened. “Can we?” he breathed.
It would mean more stairs for her, but she would feel safer up top. “That’s what I asked for.”
“Cool!”
His new favorite word. He’d picked it up at day care. It was about the four-hundredth time that day she’d heard it and it was starting to get on her nerves. Then she reminded herself that “cool” was a whole lot better than some other words he could have learned.
Thirty minutes later they were testing the bounce in the two double beds as Gabe tried to decide which one he wanted. She unpacked the single suitcase she’d carried up the three flights of stairs. She really had to think about starting to work out again. Her heart was still racing from the climb.
“We’re going out for dinner,” she said. “How about spaghetti?”
Gabe flung himself at her, wrapping both his arms around her thighs and squeezing as hard as he could. She stroked his soft brown hair.
“Thank you, Mommy,” he whispered.
Because eating his favorite food in a restaurant was a rare treat.
Jesse wondered if she should feel guilty for not cooking her first night in Seattle, then decided she would beat herself up later. Right now she was tired. It had been a five-hour drive from Spokane, and she’d worked well past midnight the previous evening, wanting to earn every last tip she could. Money was going to be tight while she was in Seattle.
“You’re welcome.” She dropped to her knees so she was at eye level with him. “I think you’ll really like this place. It’s called the Old Spaghetti Factory.” A perfect, kid-friendly restaurant. No one would care if Gabe made a mess and she could have a glass of wine and pretend that everything was all right.
“Do I meet my daddy tomorrow?”
Jesse’s heart raced again and this time it had nothing to do with taking the stairs. “Probably not tomorrow, but soon.”
Gabe bit his lower lip. “I love my daddy.”
“I know you do.”
Or at least the idea of having a father. Her son was the reason she’d decided to face all the ghosts in her past and come home. He’d started asking questions about his father a year ago. Why didn’t he have a daddy? Where was his daddy? Why didn’t his daddy want to be with him?
Jesse had debated lying, simply saying that Matt was dead. But five years ago, when she’d left Seattle, she’d vowed to live her life differently. No more lies. No more screwing up. She’d worked hard to grow up, to make a life she was proud of, to raise a son on her own, to be honest, no matter what.
Which meant telling Gabe the truth. That Matt didn’t know about him, but maybe it was time to change that.
She didn’t allow herself to think about meeting Matt. She couldn’t. Not and keep breathing. So for now, there was only her son smiling at her and the love she felt for him. The rest would take care of itself. At least she hoped it would.
Because it wasn’t just Matt she had to face. There was Claire, the older sister she’d never really known, and Nicole, the older sister who probably still hated her guts. Talk about a homecoming.
But she would deal with that tomorrow. Tonight there was the promise of spaghetti, then a rousing evening of cartoons and quality time with the best part of her life.
“Are you ready?” she asked as she grabbed her purse, then held out her arms to pick up Gabe.
He jumped into her embrace—loving and trusting—as if she would never hurt him, never let him down. Because she never would—no matter what. At least she’d gotten that part right.
JESSE CHECKED THE address on the piece of paper, then glanced at the portable nav system Bill had let her borrow. They matched.
“Someone’s been moving on up,” she murmured, taking in the long driveway that led to a house on the lake in the very chichi part of Kirkland.
There was a security gate for the property, but it was open. She was grateful she didn’t have to explain her presence to whatever staff might be at the house. Not that she could imagine Matt with staff. They would get on his nerves. At least they would have five years ago. No doubt he’d changed. The man she remembered would never have lived in a massive, sprawling estate with a bronze sculpture on the lawn.
She raised her eyebrows at the confounding piece of modern art, then drove past it. She parked near the wide double doors, behind a BMW convertible. As she climbed out, she tried not to think about how shabby her ten-year-old Subaru looked in comparison. Still, her car was dependable and the all-wheel drive meant safer driving in the Spokane snow.
She patted the dashboard in a silent apology for noticing how pretty the BMW looked gleaming in the sunlight, then grabbed her purse and climbed out. Before heading up the stairs to the front door of the huge house, she checked to make sure her most recent pictures of Gabe were in the front pocket of her purse. She had a feeling that seeing Matt was going to make her nervous. She didn’t want to have to search for the photos.
The front door seemed to soar to the sky. She would guess it was maybe fifteen or twenty feet high and solid wood. Visigoths would have trouble breaking into this house. She swallowed against the sudden tightness in her body, reminded herself to keep breathing no matter what, then pressed the bell.
Somewhere deep in the house, a chime sounded. Jesse waited, knowing it could take a while for someone to walk the length of the house. She counted to ten, then twenty. Was she supposed to ring the bell again? It was nine-thirty on a Saturday morning. She’d hoped Matt would be home. Of course, there were a thousand places he could be. The gym, the office, maybe at a friend’s house. Make that a girl friend. She doubted he was at the grocery store because he was—
The front door opened. Jesse braced herself to see Matt again, only to find herself staring at a tall, slender redhead wearing a very short, sexy nightie and apparently nothing else.
The woman was in her early twenties and beyond beautiful. Her eyes were large, dark green and framed with incredible lashes. Her skin was the color of cream, her breasts pointed at the ceiling and her wide mouth formed a perfect pout.
“Ma—att,” she whined, drawing his name out to two syllables. “It’s one thing for you to keep telling me we’re not exclusive. I accept that. I don’t like it, but I accept it. But to have one of them show up here on my date? That’s just wrong.”
Jesse hadn’t thought the moment through. If she had, she would have realized that a woman answering the door was entirely possible. It had been five years—of course Matt would have moved on. Probably several times.
“I’m not a date,” she said quickly, wishing she’d taken more time with her appearance that morning. All she’d done was shower, slap on moisturizer and mascara, then let her long, straight hair air-dry. She’d been more focused on getting Gabe ready.
The redhead frowned. “Ma—att!”
The door opened wider and Jesse instinctively took a step back. Not that a couple of feet of distance was going to lessen the impact of seeing him again.
He was as tall as she remembered, but he’d filled out. An open, short-sleeved shirt hung over worn jeans. She could see his muscled chest and the dark hair there.
Her gaze rose to his face, to the eyes that were so like his son’s. Recognition tugged in her belly, making her realize that, despite the time apart, she still missed him. Probably because with Gabe around she could never forget him.
Matt had always had potential—in the past five years he’d grown into it. He exuded power and confidence. He was the kind of man who made women wonder who he was and how they could be with him.
“Jesse.”
He spoke her name calmly, as if he wasn’t surprised to see her, as if they’d just run into each other last week.
“Hello, Matt.”
The redhead put her hands on her hips. “Go away. Shoo.”
Shoo? Jesse held in a smile. Was that the best the other woman could do?
“Wait for me in the kitchen, Electra,” Matt said, never taking his gaze from Jesse. “This won’t take long.”
“I’m not leaving. Who is she, Matt?”
Electra? Her name was Electra? Did she have a golden lasso and a flying horse?
“Wait for me in the kitchen,” he repeated, his tone stern.
The redhead stomped off. Matt waited until she’d disappeared before stepping back.
“Come in,” he said.
Jesse walked into the house.
She had a brief impression of space, lots of wood and incredible views of the lake and the skyline of Seattle in the distance. Then she turned to Matt and drew in a breath.
“Sorry to drop by without any notice. I’ve been trying to call.”
“Have you?”
His gaze was as dark as she remembered, but much more unreadable. She had no idea what he was thinking. Was he upset? Annoyed? Or was she just someone he used to know, someone who was keeping him from his morning coffee?
Seeing him was unsettling—an odd combination of familiar and strange. The last time they’d been in the same room, he’d been so angry, so hurt. He’d lashed out to destroy her and he’d succeeded.
“You didn’t get my messages?” she asked, sure that he had.
“What do you want, Jesse? It’s been a long time. Why now?”
So much for idle chitchat, she thought, suddenly feeling awkward and nervous. Couldn’t they have started with something easier, like, “How are you?”
There were a thousand things she could say, a thousand excuses or explanations. None of them seemed to matter.
She opened her purse, pulled out the pictures, then handed them to him.
“Five years ago I told you I was pregnant and that you were the father. You didn’t believe me, even when I said a DNA test would prove the truth. He’s four now and he keeps asking about you. He wants to get to know you. I’m hoping enough time has passed that you want that, too.”
She wanted to keep talking, explaining, defending herself. Instead she forced herself to press her lips together and stay silent.
Matt took the photos and flipped through them. At first he didn’t register much more than a small boy. A boy who was laughing and smiling at the camera. Her words had meant nothing to him. A child? He knew she’d been pregnant. His child? Not possible. He’d refused to believe it then and he still didn’t believe it. She was back because he was successful and she wanted a piece of the pie. Nothing more.
Almost against his own will, he went through the pictures a second time, then a third, noticing the way the kid looked almost familiar. There was something about his eyes that …
He saw them, then. The similarities. The curve of the chin reflected back at him every morning as he shaved. The shape of the eyes. He recognized parts of himself, hints of his mother.
“What is this?” he growled.
His child? His child?
“His name is Gabe,” Jesse said softly. “Gabriel. He’s four and a really great kid. He’s smart and funny and he has a lot of friends. He’s good at math, which he probably gets from you.”
Matt couldn’t focus on her words. They washed over him like rain, making no sense, then moving on. Anger flared, then grew into fury. She’d had his baby and never bothered to say anything?
“You should have told me,” he said, his voice thick and cold with rage.
“I did. You refused to believe me, remember? Your exact words were that you didn’t care if I was pregnant with your child. You didn’t want a kid with me.” She squared her shoulders. “He wants to get to know you, Matt. He wants to get to know his father. That’s why I’m here. Because it’s important to him.”
But it wasn’t important to her. She didn’t have to say that—he already knew it was true.
He thrust the photos back at her, but she shook her head. “Keep them. I know this is a lot to take in. We need to talk and you need to meet Gabe. Assuming you want to.”
He nodded because he was too enraged to speak.
“My cell number is on the back of that first picture. Call me when you’re ready and we’ll set something up.” She hesitated. “I’m sorry about all of this. I wanted to talk to you before coming by but you weren’t available. I wasn’t trying to keep him from you. It’s just, you made it so clear how much you didn’t care.”
Then she turned away. He watched her go.
Something inside of him yelled that he needed to go after her, but he didn’t bother. She might run but she couldn’t hide. Not from him. Not now.
He closed the front door and started for his office. Electra glided into the hallway.
“Who was that? What did she want? You’re not seeing her, are you, Matt? She didn’t look like your type.”
He ignored her and walked into his study. After shutting the door, he crossed to his desk, where he sat down. He spread the pictures out and studied them one by one.
Electra pounded on the door, but didn’t open it. He heard something about her threatening to leave. He didn’t bother to respond.
He had a son. He’d had one for more than four years and he’d never known. Technically Jesse had tried to tell him the kid was his before she’d left Seattle, but she’d known he wouldn’t believe her. Not after what had happened. She’d done this on purpose.
He reached for his phone and dialed a number from memory. “Heath, it’s Matt. Do you have a minute?”
“Of course. We’re heading out on the boat, but I have time. What’s up?”
“I have a problem.”
He quickly explained that an old girlfriend had shown up unexpectedly with a four-year-old she claimed was his.
“The first thing we’ll need to do is establish paternity,” his lawyer told him. “What are the odds you’ll come back as the father?”
“He’s mine.” Matt stared at the pictures, hating Jesse more by the minute. How could she have kept this from him?
“So what do you want to do?” Heath asked.
“Hurt her in every way possible.”
CHAPTER TWO
Five years ago …
JESSE SIPPED HER LATTE as she read the want ads in the Seattle Times. Technically she wasn’t looking for a job. She wasn’t qualified for anything she wanted to do and nothing she was qualified for was better than her crummy shift at the bakery. So what was the point in changing?
“Someone needs to work on her attitude,” she murmured to herself, knowing feeling like a failure wasn’t going to help her situation. Nor was feeling trapped. But both seemed to loom large in her life.
It was her most recent fight with Nicole, she thought, even though fights with her sister were nothing new. Maybe it was her entire lack of direction. She was twenty-two. Shouldn’t she have goals? Plans? As it was, she just sort of drifted through her days, as if waiting for something to happen. If she’d stayed in college, she would have graduated by now. Instead, she’d lasted two weeks before dropping out.
She folded the paper, straightened in her seat and tried to inspire herself to some kind of action. She couldn’t keep drifting. It wasn’t healthy and it made her crabby.
She sipped on her latte and considered possibilities. Before she could decide on one, a guy walked into the Starbucks.
Jesse was a semi-regular and knew she hadn’t seen him before. He was tall and could have been kind of cute, but everything about him was off. The haircut was a disaster, his thick glasses screamed computer nerd. His short-sleeved plaid shirt was too big and—she nearly choked on her coffee—he had an honest-to-God pocket protector. Worse, his jeans were too short and he was wearing geeky tennis shoes with white socks. Poor guy—he looked like he’d been dressed by a mother who didn’t like him very much.
She was about to return to her paper when she saw him square his shoulders in a gesture that spoke of determination. Ordering coffee wasn’t that hard.
She turned in her seat and saw two women at a table against the far wall. They were young and beautiful—the kind of women who looked like models and probably dated rock stars. He couldn’t, she thought frantically. Not them. They weren’t just out of his league, they were on another plane of reality.
She’d never lived through the phrase “train wreck” before, but she did now. He walked toward them, his hands twitching slightly. His gaze seemed to zero in on the brunette on the left. Jesse knew it was going to be a catastrophe. She should probably leave and let him crash in private. But she couldn’t seem to get up and walk away, so she slumped down in her seat and braced herself for disaster.
“Uh, Angie? Hi. I’m, um, ah, Matthew. Matt. I saw you last week at the photo shoot on campus. I kinda ran into you.”
His voice was low and had the potential to be sexy, Jesse thought. If only he weren’t mumbling. He sounded so tentative.
Angie looked at him politely as he spoke but her friend grimaced in annoyance.
“At Microsoft, you mean?” Angie asked. “That was fun.”
“You were beautiful,” Matt muttered, “in the light and stuff and I was wondering if maybe you’d like to get coffee or something and it doesn’t have to be coffee even because we could, ah, go for a walk or ah, I don’t know—”
Breathe! Jesse willed him to pause and break his conversation into sentences. Amazingly enough, Angie actually smiled. Could the geek possibly get the girl?
But Matt didn’t notice because he kept on talking.
“Or do something else. If you have a hobby or you know, something with a pet, a dog, I guess, because I like dogs. Did you know that there are more cats as pets than dogs, which doesn’t make sense because who likes cats, right? I’m allergic and they don’t do anything but shed.”
Jesse winced as Angie’s expression hardened and her friend’s face began to crumple.
“What’s wrong with you?” Angie asked, standing and glaring at poor, quivering Matt. “My friend had to put her cat to sleep yesterday. How could you say something like that? I think you should leave us alone. Now!”
Matt stared at her, wide-eyed and totally confused. He opened his mouth, then closed it. His shoulders slumped in defeat and he walked out of the Starbucks.
Jesse watched him go. He’d been close to getting the girl, she thought sadly. If he hadn’t gone on about cats. Not that it was really his fault. What were the odds?
She looked out the front window and saw him standing just outside the door. He looked stunned, as if he didn’t know what had gone wrong. Points to Angie—she’d been willing to look past the sad exterior to the guy within. If only he’d stopped talking sooner. And dressed better. Basically, the guy needed a major overhaul.
As she watched, he slowly shook his head as if accepting defeat. She knew what he was thinking—that his life would never be different, that he would never get the girl. He was trapped—just like her. Only his problem was more easily solved.
Without having any idea what she was doing, Jesse jumped up, tossed her empty coffee container in the trash and went outside. She could see Matt walking up the street.
“Wait,” she called.
He didn’t turn around. Probably because it never occurred to him that she was talking to him.
“Matt, wait.”
He stopped and glanced over his shoulder, then frowned. She hurried toward him.
“Hi,” she said, still without a plan. “How are you?”
“Do I know you?”
“Not really. I just, ah—” Now it was her turn to stammer. “I saw what happened. Talk about a nightmare.”
He shoved both hands into his jeans and ducked his head. “Thanks for the recap,” he said and kept walking.
She went after him. “I didn’t mean it like that. Obviously you’re really bad with women.”
He flushed. “Nice assessment. Is this what you do? Follow people around and point out their flaws? I’m clear on what’s wrong.”
“It’s not that. I can help.”
She had no idea where the words came from, but the second she spoke them, she knew they were true.
He barely slowed. “Go away.”
“No. Look, you have a lot of potential, but no clue. I’m a woman. I can tell you how to dress, what to say, what topics to avoid.”
He flinched. “I don’t think so.”
Suddenly this mattered. She wasn’t sure why, except maybe worrying about someone else’s problems was easier than thinking about her own. Besides, his life was fixable.
She remembered a segment she’d seen on the news a couple of weeks before. “I’m training to be a lifestyle coach. I need to practice on someone. You need help. And I won’t charge you for my time.” Mostly because she was totally making this up as she went. “I’ll teach you everything you need to know. You’ll get the girl.”
He stopped and looked at her. Even through the glasses she could see his eyes were large and dark. Bedroom eyes. Girls would go crazy for them, if they could see them.
“You’re lying,” he said flatly. “You’re not a lifestyle coach.”
“I said I was in training. I can still help. I know guys. I know what works. Look, you have no reason to believe me. But you also have nothing to lose.”
“What’s in it for you?”
She thought about the ongoing fights with her sister, the job she hated and the lack of direction in her life. She thought about how she spent every single day feeling like the biggest failure on the planet.
“I get to do something right,” she told him, speaking the truth.
He studied her for a long time. “Why should I trust you?”
“Because I’m the only one offering. What’s the worst that could happen?”
“You could drug me and ship me off to some country where my dead body will wash up on the beach.”
She laughed. “At least you have an imagination. That’s a good thing. Say yes, Matt. Take a chance on me.”
She wondered if he would. No one ever believed in her. Then he shrugged.
“What the hell.”
She grinned. “Great. Okay, first thing—” Her cell phone rang. “Sorry,” she murmured as she pulled it out of her purse. “Hello?”
“Hey, gorgeous. How are you?”
She wrinkled her nose. “Zeke, this isn’t a good time.”
“That’s not what you were saying last week. We had a great time. Sex with you is—”
“Gotta go,” she said and hung up, not wanting to hear what sex with her was like. She returned her attention to Matt. “Sorry about that. Where was I? Oh, yeah. The next step.”
She pulled her Starbucks receipt out of her back pocket, then took one of the pens sticking out of his pocket protector. After tearing the receipt in half, she wrote down her cell number on one piece and handed it to him.
He took it. “You’re giving me your number?”
“Yes. Changing you will be more challenging if we don’t get together. Now give me your number.”
He did.
She handed him back his pen. “Okay. I need a couple of days to get a plan together, then I’ll be in touch.” She smiled. “This is going to be great. Trust me.”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Yes, but pretend you don’t.”
JESSE DROPPED HER heavy backpack on a chair at a table and set down her latte. She and Matt had agreed to meet at yet another Starbucks to discuss her plan.
She pulled out her list and dug through the material she’d brought for a pen, then shifted impatiently as she waited for him to arrive.
She was early. She was never early. Even more unusual, she was actually enthused about her makeover project. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been excited about anything. Not that Matt had sounded that thrilled when she’d called to set up their meeting. Still, he’d agreed.
Five minutes later he walked into the Starbucks. He was dressed just as badly as he had been the first time she’d seen him. What was with the too-short jeans? And the pocket protector? They had to go first.
He waved at her and walked up to the counter to order. Her cell phone rang.
She grabbed it. “Hello?”
“Babe. Andrew. Tonight?”
“Andrew, has it ever occurred to you that things would go more smoothly in your day if you used verbs?” She looked up and smiled as Matt approached. “I’ll just be a sec,” she whispered.
“I don’t need verbs, babe. I got the goods. So we on or what? There’s a party. We go there, come back here. Everybody wins.”
Wow—almost an entire conversation. “Tempting, but no,” she said. For once she wasn’t in the mood for Andrew and “the goods,” as he referred to his penis. Which she supposed was slightly better than naming it Andrew Junior.
“Your loss.”
“I’m sure I’ll regret it for weeks. Bye.” She hung up. “Sorry. I’m officially turning off my phone. We won’t be interrupted again.”
Matt sat across from her. “Not your boyfriend?”
“Are you asking or telling?”
“The guy from before was Zeke. This one is Andrew.”
“You’re observant. An excellent quality. And no, neither one is my boyfriend. I don’t get serious like that.” What was the point? She’d never really found someone she wanted to keep seeing more than a few times.
“Interesting. Why is that?”
She stared into his dark eyes. “Don’t for a second think you can make me forget why we’re here by asking me about myself.”
He shrugged. “It was worth a try.”
“Uh-huh. Moving on. We have a lot of stuff to get through today.” She paused for effect. “I’ve come up with a plan.”
Matt sipped his drink and blinked at her.
She refused to let his lack of support slow her down. “First, I have a few questions. What do you do for a living? Something with computers?”
He nodded. “Programming. I work on games a lot. At Microsoft.”
“I figured. Do you have any hobbies?”
He thought for a second. “Computers and games.”
“Nothing else?”
“Movies, maybe.”
Which meant no, but he’d had to come up with something quick. “Have you seen How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days? It opened last week.”
He shook his head.
“Go see it,” she told him, then tapped the table in front of him. “You should be taking notes. You’re going to have homework.”
“What?”
“You have a lot to learn. It’s going to take effort on your part. Are you in or out?”
He hesitated for a moment. “In,” he said, although he didn’t sound very excited about the prospect.
She passed him a couple of pieces of paper. He dutifully wrote down the movie title.
“We’ll deal with your apartment later. Today I want to talk about cultural references and your wardrobe.”
“I don’t have an apartment.”
She blinked at him. “Excuse me?”
“I live at home. With my mom.” He pushed up his glasses. “Before you say anything, it’s a really nice house. A lot of guys live at home. It’s convenient.”
Oh, my. The situation was worse than she thought. “How old are you?”
“Twenty-four.”
“It’s probably time to fly free. What’s the point in getting the girl if you don’t have anywhere to take her?” She made a note. “Like I said, that’s for the advanced half of the class.”
“Where do you live?”
Jesse stared at him, then started to laugh. “With my sister.”
He looked smug. “See?”
“I’m not a guy.”
“So?”
“Point taken. But you have to move out first.” She dug into her backpack and pulled out a stack of magazines. “People is weekly. Subscribe. Cosmo and Car and Driver are monthly. So is In Style. Read them. There will be a quiz.”
He grimaced. “These are girl magazines, except for the car one and I’m not into cars.”
“These are cultural textbooks. In Style has a great section on guys who dress well. There are also lots of pictures of pretty women. You’ll like that. People will keep you up to date on celebrity news, which you may not care about but at least you’ll recognize a few of the names people are talking about. The car magazine is to make you well-rounded and Cosmo is every twenty-something woman’s companion. Think of it as the enemy’s playbook.” She pushed the magazines toward him.
“Next,” she continued. “Television.”
“I don’t watch much.”
“You’re going to start watching American Idol and Gilmore Girls. You can find old episodes of Gilmore Girls on the Family Channel every day. Record them to watch when you’re free. That’s going to teach you how to talk to a woman, or at least how women fantasize that men will talk to them. It’s fast, it’s funny, it has lots of insight. American Idol is the most popular show on television. Get involved. Discuss it with coworkers.”
“You can’t learn how to talk to women by watching television,” Matt told her.
“How do you know? Have you tried?”
“No.”
“Okay, then.” She scanned her list. “Next. We’re going out to dinner. I want you to call and ask me out on a date, over and over again. Sometimes I’ll say yes and sometimes I’ll say no. We’re going to do that every day for a couple of weeks, until you’re comfortable with the process. Next up, shopping. You have got to get some new clothes.”
He glanced down at himself. “What’s wrong with my clothes?”
“How much time do you have? Don’t worry. It’s all fixable. I’m actually more concerned about the glasses.”
He scowled. “I can’t wear contacts.”
“Have you thought about LASIK surgery?”
“No.”
“Check it out online. You have great eyes. It would be nice if we could see them. So what do you think about the Mariners’ chances this season?”
He looked blank. “That’s baseball, right?”
She groaned. “Yes. Follow the team this season. Add it to your homework assignment.”
He pushed back his chair and stood. “This is stupid. I don’t know why you’re bothering. Just forget it.”
She rose and grabbed his arm. He was much taller than her and had plenty of muscle. That was good. “Matt, don’t. I know it seems like a lot, but once we get the big things out of the way, it won’t be so bad. You may like it. Don’t you want to find someone special?”
“Maybe not this badly.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“Why are you doing this?” he asked. “What do you get out of it?”
“I’m having fun,” she admitted. “I like thinking about you. It’s easier than thinking about me.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m stuck right now.” She didn’t have a career or anything close to direction or a goal. She changed guys as often as most women changed panties, which wasn’t anything she was proud of.
He looked surprised. “You’re the one who’s big on change.”
“Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach.”
He studied her for a second. “You’re evasive.”
“Sometimes.”
“Why?”
Interesting question. “Because I don’t always like who I am,” she admitted. “Because I don’t know how to change, but I can see exactly how to change you. It makes me feel better to make a difference.”
“That was honest.”
“I know. It surprised me, too.” She waited until he sat down. “Give me a month. Do what I say for a month. If you hate the changes, you can go back to your old life and it will be like it never happened.”
“Not if I have LASIK surgery.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“Maybe not.”
“You have to trust me,” she told him. “I want this to work for you.” Because somehow, if it worked for him, maybe it would work for her, too. At least that was the theory.
TEN DAYS LATER, Jesse nearly fell off the bench at the Kirkland Olive Garden. She stood and pointed.
“Who are you?” she asked.
Matt grinned as he stopped in front of her. “You told me which clothes to buy. They shouldn’t be a surprise.”
“They look better on than I remember,” she murmured, motioning for him to turn slowly.
It was amazing what a little time and a couple of grand on a credit card could do. He’d been transformed from top to bottom. An eighty-dollar haircut at an upscale Bellevue salon had only been the beginning. Gone were the too-short jeans, the tennis shoes and the geeky shirt with the pocket protector. Instead, Matt wore a pale blue dress shirt, tailored slacks that showed off his slim hips and surprisingly sexy butt. She’d teased him into buying leather loafers that cost nearly four hundred dollars but had been worth every penny.
But the real change was how he looked without glasses.
His face had masculine lines and a chiseled chin she’d never noticed before. His eyes were even better than she’d imagined, and his mouth … had it always been that sexy, with a slightly crooked smile?
“You’re gorgeous,” she told him, actually feeling a slight tingle inside. “Really sexy. Wow.”
He flushed slightly. “You look good, too.”
Jesse dismissed his compliment with a flick of her fingers. Her appearance didn’t matter. This was about him.
The hostess returned and offered to seat them. Jesse noticed her checking Matt out as they were led to a table.
“Did you see that?” she asked in a low voice when they’d slid into their booth. “She was totally into you.”
Matt flushed. “You’re just saying that.”
“I don’t think so. If I were to get up right now and go to the restroom, she would be all over you.”
He looked more nervous than excited. “You’re not leaving, are you?”
She laughed. “Maybe next time. You’ll have to get used to the attention first, then you can start to enjoy it.” She ignored the menu and leaned toward him. “So, tell me. What’s new at work?”
“We’re brainstorming a new game. The theory behind it is really advanced, but there’s a—” He paused as she dropped her head to the table and groaned. “What?”
“Do I look like I care about game theory?”
“No, but you asked.”
“I asked what was new at work. That means with the people.”
“Oh.” He reached toward his face, as if he was going to push up his glasses, then dropped his hand to his lap. “It’s different.”
She straightened. “How?”
“People are talking to me.”
She smiled, knowing he was already getting results. “Women, right? You mean women.”
Matt grinned. “Yeah. A lot of the secretaries are saying hi to me now. And this woman in Finance asked me to help her carry some stuff to her car, only it wasn’t that much and she could have done it herself.”
“Did you ask her out?”
“What? No.” He looked shocked. “I couldn’t do that. She was, you know, older.”
Jesse raised her eyebrows. “How much older?”
“Maybe five or six years. She wouldn’t be interested in me.”
“Oh, honey, you have so much to learn about women. You’re tall, you’re in great shape, you’re good-looking. You have a good job, you’re basically sweet and funny and smart. What’s not to like?”
He flushed. “That’s not me.”
“It’s exactly you. It was all there, all the time, just hiding behind a pocket protector.” She narrowed her gaze. “I told you to throw them all out. Did you?”
He rolled his eyes. “Yes. I said I did.”
“Good.”
Her cell phone rang. She pulled it out of her purse and looked at the screen.
“Andrew or Zeke?” Matt asked.
“Joe.” She turned off the phone. “Sorry.”
Matt studied her. “How many guys are there?”
Not a question she wanted to answer. “This isn’t a very interesting topic.”
“It’s interesting to me.”
“I date but I don’t get serious. It’s no big deal.”
“You meet a lot of different guys?”
“Sure. It’s easy. They’re everywhere.” And men were not the least bit challenging to attract. Not that she was interested in keeping them around for any length of time.
Their server appeared. Jesse was relieved by the interruption. Talking about her personal life would only depress her and it might make him think she was.
What? Slutty? Isn’t that what her sister called her? Stop thinking about Nicole, she ordered herself and opened her menu.
Matt waited while she placed her order first, then he listed his selection, even including a glass of wine.
“Very smooth,” she said when they were alone. “The glass of wine is a nice touch. You know, we could go to the Chateau St. Michelle winery sometime. They have tastings. You could practice being snobby.”
He laughed. “You want me to be a snob?”
“You never know when it will come in handy.”
The server brought their drinks. Jesse stirred her iced tea. “You’re making some great changes. How do you feel about that?”
“You’re not going to get me to talk about my feelings,” he told her. “It’s a guy thing.”
“Good answer.”
“Are you playing me?”
“Maybe a little.”
“I can handle it.”
There was a quiet confidence in his voice she hadn’t heard before. It matched his straight posture and the way he looked her directly in the eye.
Still looking at her, he asked, “What’s your story? I know you’re not really a lifestyle coach. So who are you and what do you do when you’re not hounding me to go to the mall?”
At least they weren’t talking about her personal life, Jesse thought as she wrinkled her nose. Not that the rest of her world was in much better shape. “There’s nothing much to tell. I work in a bakery that my sister and I own. Well, my half is in trust until I’m twenty-five. I don’t especially like working there, but that’s more about me not getting along with Nicole than anything else.”
“Why don’t you get along?”
Jesse considered how much to tell. “I have a second sister. Claire. She plays piano and is kind of famous. She went off to tour the world right after I was born, so I don’t really know her. When I was six, my mom took off to be with Claire and Nicole got stuck raising me. My dad wasn’t much help. I was a handful, as they say. Nicole thinks I only ever screw up and I think she’s the queen bitch of the West. Like with the bakery. I’ve begged her to buy me out so I can just leave, but she won’t.”
“What would you do with the money?”
“I have no idea.”
“Maybe that’s why she won’t give it to you.”
Jesse smiled. “If you’re going to be reasonable, we can’t have this conversation.”
“Sorry.”
“That’s okay. Enough about me. I know you live with your mom. What about your dad? Are they divorced?”
“They were never married. My mom doesn’t talk about him at all. It’s always been just the two of us. She worked really hard when I was young. Money was tight. She did everything for me.”
A possibly scary thought, although Jesse decided not to judge until she knew all the facts. “She sounds nice.”
“She is mostly. She didn’t care that I was into computers. She never bugged me to go outside or worried that I didn’t have a lot of friends. She kept saying I’d grow into who I was meant to be and not to worry if things weren’t how I wanted them now.”
“Good for her,” Jesse said.
“When I was fifteen, I got really frustrated by this computer game I was playing. I broke into their system, accessed the code and rewrote it. Then I took the new version to them. They licensed it from me. Our money situation got better then.”
Jesse stared at him. “You licensed a computer game when you were fifteen?”
He nodded.
“For a lot of money?”
“It’s a couple of million a year.”
If she’d been drinking she would have choked. “So you’re rich?”
“I guess. I don’t think about it much.”
“You’re rich and you wore a pocket protector?”
“You’ve got to let that go. I said I threw them all out.”
“You’re rich.” She couldn’t get her mind around that fact.
“What’s your point? Does it change anything?”
More than he knew, but warning him about women only after him for his money was something they could talk about later. She laughed. “It changes who’s buying dinner.”
CHAPTER THREE
Present day …
JESSE HAD ALREADY DECIDED to get all the reunions over as quickly as possible. It was like jumping in the deep end of a cold pool. Sure the shock nearly killed you, but it was over fast. So she did her best to shake off the conversation with Matt, ignoring the rapid pounding of her heart and the mass of memories that crowded her brain, then drove to a second unfamiliar address, guided by the trusty nav system.
This house wasn’t gated, but it was nearly as large as the one she’d just left. Yet instead of being a testament to great architecture, it was a rambling two-story house that proudly announced a family lived there.
A tricycle and several toys littered the wide covered porch, while a minivan was parked in front of the garage. One of those decorative wreaths hung on the door, which made Jesse wonder if she had the right address. Nicole had never been the wreath type before. Maybe she’d changed.
Jesse tried to imagine it, but couldn’t. Still, in the five years she’d been gone, not only had her sister married—a wedding Jesse hadn’t been invited to—but she’d had a son and twin girls. The information came compliments of Nicole’s fraternal twin, Claire, the sister Jesse had never really known.
She parked on the street and grabbed more pictures from her purse. Convincing Nicole who had fathered Jesse’s child was nearly as important as convincing Matt, although for very different reasons.
She got out of her car and walked up the main path. As she approached the front door, her shoulders slumped. The old feelings she’d thought she’d gotten over returned. The voices that said she was nothing but a screwup. That she ruined everything she touched, didn’t appreciate anything.
“Stop!” she said aloud, pausing in front of the steps. “I’m not that person anymore.”
She wasn’t. She’d grown up and changed. She was responsible, a single mother who’d made it on her own. When Jesse left, Nicole had claimed she would come crawling back in a matter of weeks. That hadn’t happened.
After squaring her shoulders and raising her chin, she walked up the stairs, then pressed the bell and waited.
She heard yelling from inside, and the sound of running feet. The front door jerked open and a little boy stared up at her.
“Who are you?” he demanded loudly, his voice competing with the sound of babies crying. Apparently both twins were awake and not happy.
“Eric, I’ve told you. Don’t answer the door without checking with me first. And don’t ask who the person is.”
Eric had blond hair and blue eyes like his mom. He was the same size as Gabe and just about the same age. He sighed and addressed Jesse.
“I’m not supposed to answer the door on my own.”
“I heard. So maybe you want to go get your mom.”
“I’m here,” Nicole said, walking around the corner, carrying a baby in her arms. “Can I help—”
She came to a stop. Her eyes widened and all the color left her face.
“Hi,” Jesse said, feeling awkward and unsure of her welcome. “It’s been a long time.”
Nicole stared. “Jesse?”
“It’s me.”
“I can’t believe it.” In the distance, a baby continued to cry. Nicole glanced in that direction. “It’s Molly. Holding them both when they need to be walked is impossible. Hawk’s out of town. He didn’t want to leave, but he and Brittany had planned the trip celebrating her graduation from college for a while and it didn’t seem fair to cancel it because I have twins who aren’t sleeping.” She rocked the crying baby in her arms and looked desperate.
“I can help,” Jesse said, stepping in the house without being invited. “Here. Let me take this one.”
“Are you sure?” Nicole asked, obviously reluctant to hand over her baby.
“I raised one myself,” she said.
“Right. Sure. Here.”
Jesse took the wrapped baby and smiled down at her. “Hello, pretty girl. How are you? Keeping mom up? She’ll remember and punish you later. You might want to think that through.”
The baby’s eyes focused on her face, then slowly began to close. Nicole hesitated a second, before retreating to the back of the house to collect Molly. Eric stared at her.
“Who are you?” he asked.
“I’m your aunt Jesse,” she said as she closed the front door, stepped over several toys and followed him to a family room.
There was a sofa and television, along with toys and a couple of baskets of laundry. A stack of diapers sat in one chair. Shoes littered the hallway leading to the kitchen.
Jesse remembered Nicole’s house being mostly tidy and quiet. It was a place Jesse had never felt at home. While this place made her feel at ease, she couldn’t believe her perfect sister lived in chaos.
A small, hairy white dog raced through the room, followed by a slightly larger black-and-white dog. Pets? Nicole had pets?
“That’s Sheila,” Eric told her. “Rambo is her son. Like I’m my daddy’s son.” He seemed proud of the fact.
Nicole returned with a second infant and collapsed in a chair.
“Clear a space,” she murmured, rocking her daughter with a desperation that spoke of many nights without sleep. “Come on, Molly. It can’t be that bad, can it?”
Kim, the baby Jesse held, had quieted enough for her to ask, “Want me to put her down?”
Nicole shook her head. “She won’t sleep. She’ll wake right up.”
“We can try,” Jesse said, knowing getting the twins into their own cribs was the only solution that was going to let Nicole rest.
Nicole’s gaze narrowed, then she shrugged. “Whatever. They’re in the sitting area off our bedroom. They have a room upstairs, but it got to be too far to walk when I realized they weren’t ever going to sleep.”
Her voice was thick with emotion, as if she was inches from losing it all.
“I’ll show you,” Eric said. He’d been hovering by his mom. Now he led the way down a short hallway and into the master suite.
Jesse had the impression of space, large furniture and a view of a massive backyard. She followed Eric into what would usually be the master bedroom retreat area. A love seat and coffee table had been pushed to the side. Two cribs stood in the middle of the space.
“This one is Kim’s,” Eric told her, pointing to the one on the right.
She smiled at him. “Wow. You’re very helpful. I’m sure your mom is happy to have you around. You’re a great big brother.”
Eric beamed. “I’m the man of the house while Daddy’s gone.”
“Your mom is so lucky.”
She eased the sleeping baby into the crib. Kim stayed asleep. Jesse wound the mobile above the crib and motioned for Eric to join her as she backed out of the room.
They returned to the family room. Nicole stared at her.
“She’s sleeping?”
“Yes. Why don’t I take Molly while you go grab a shower?”
Nicole hesitated, as if she was going to argue, then she handed over the infant and hurried down the hall.
Jesse gazed at the sleepy baby in her arms. “Do you have one of those chairs that rocks the baby?” she asked Eric.
He nodded and pointed to the far corner.
Jesse dug it out from behind a pile of towels and set it in front of the sofa. Molly fussed when she was put in, but quieted as the chair began to crank back and forth.
The piles of laundry needed attention first, Jesse thought. “Where are the washer and dryer?” she asked Eric.
He showed her the utility room off the kitchen. She loaded in towels, added soap and started the machine. She took baby clothes out of the dryer and quickly folded them, giving him socks to match up.
“Excellent job,” she told him, as she cleaned off the kitchen table, wiped it down, then stacked the clean clothes in piles. “Are you thirsty?”
“Uh-huh. I can have juice.”
There were boxes in the fridge. She got him settled with his drink, then loaded the dishwasher with as much as she could fit in before filling the sink and washing the big pots and pans by hand. She just started drying them when Nicole walked into the kitchen.
“Where’s Molly?” she asked.
Jesse pointed to the slumbering baby in the rocking chair. “There’s a load of towels going in the washer. The dishwasher is full, but I didn’t know if it would pull too much hot water from your shower, so I waited.”
Nicole sank into a chair at the table. “You didn’t have to do this.”
“I don’t mind.” She knew what it was like to be overwhelmed, to think she was never going to get enough rest to feel human again.
The doorbell rang. Nicole winced, but Eric went running. “It’s Billy and his mom,” he yelled. Molly started to cry.
“I’ll take the baby,” Jesse said.
“Thanks. Eric’s spending the afternoon at his friend’s house. I’ll be right back.”
While Jesse soothed Molly back to sleep, Nicole saw off her son, then returned to the kitchen, looking exhausted. They stood staring at each other for an awkward second.
“So, you’re back in Seattle?” Nicole asked as she sank into a chair at the table.
“For now.” Jesse remembered the pictures she’d brought and went to get them. When she returned, she handed them to her sister. “Gabe’s been asking about his father. I’ve put off their meeting as long as I could, but I’m running out of excuses. So we’re here, at least for a few weeks.”
She hesitated because Nicole hadn’t looked at the pictures. “I went to see Matt this morning. He wasn’t expecting me.” There was an understatement. “I’d told him I was pregnant when I left, but he didn’t believe he was the father. Given the circumstances, I guess I can’t blame him.”
Now came the hard part, Jesse thought. She’d practiced what she wanted to say dozens of times, but suddenly couldn’t think of any of her carefully prepared phrases.
“I didn’t sleep with Drew,” she said, jumping in and hoping her sister would listen. “I never slept with him, tried to sleep with him or thought of him as anything but your husband. He and I were friends. We would talk and that was it. I was in love with Matt.”
Nicole stood and crossed to the dishwasher, where she pushed a couple of buttons to start the cycle. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
“We have to eventually.”
“Why?” Nicole turned to face her, then sighed. “Okay. Maybe. But not today.”
Jesse wanted to push. She’d felt awful about Nicole’s hurt and anger for five years and she didn’t want to wait any longer. But the mature choice would be to let her sister get used to the idea of her being back first.
“I’ll leave the pictures,” Jesse said quietly. “You can look at them later. There’s a lot of Matt in Gabe. Especially in his eyes. It made it hard to forget.”
Not hard. Impossible.
Nicole nodded. “I will.” She crossed her arms across her chest. “I thought I’d hear from you when you turned twenty-five.”
Meaning she thought Jesse would show up to get her half of the bakery. Their father had left the business to both of them, with Jesse’s half held in trust until she was twenty-five. Once she’d graduated from high school, Jesse had bugged Nicole to buy her out soon and give her the money. Nicole had refused. It had been just one more thing for them to fight about.
“I don’t want to be given anything,” Jesse told her. “I want to earn my way in.”
Nicole raised her eyebrows. “Meaning what? You want a job? I thought you hated working at the bakery.”
A job? Jesse hadn’t thought that far, but she could sure use the money. “A job would be great. But I have something else to offer. A brownie recipe. I’ve been working on it on and off for a couple of years. It’s finally ready. It’s better than anything out there.”
Nicole didn’t look convinced.
Jesse fought disappointment and the voice that whispered her sister would never see her as anything but a screwup. The truth was, Jesse might know how much she’d changed, but Nicole had to be convinced. That was fine. Jesse wasn’t going anywhere for a while.
“I’ll bake a couple of batches,” Jesse told her. “We can set up time for a tasting.”
“All right. But if they’re that good, why didn’t you just start a business on your own?”
A genuine question or a slam? Jesse wondered. Five years ago, she’d taken the famous Keyes chocolate cake recipe, made the cakes out of a rented kitchen and sold them online. Nicole had been furious and pressed charges, throwing her baby sister in jail.
“They’re that good,” Jesse said calmly. “I could have gone out on my own, but I wanted to bring them to the bakery. I told you—I’m interested in earning my way back in.”
Nicole stared at her, obviously not convinced. Jesse took that as a hint to leave.
“I’ll call you,” she said as she headed for the door. “So we can set up a time that works for you.”
“How can I get in touch with you?” Nicole asked.
The question gave Jesse hope. Maybe her sister hadn’t given up on her completely. “I left my cell number on the pictures.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Jesse reached the front door.
“Wait,” Nicole called.
Jesse turned.
“Thanks for helping with the twins. I’m usually more together than that.”
“Babies are tough,” Jesse told her, pleased she’d been able to make a difference. “I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Okay. Bye.”
Jesse walked to her car, smiling and feeling more hopeful than she had when she’d left Matt’s. Nicole would take some convincing, but Jesse felt that she could earn her way back into her sister’s good graces. She would have her family back and, right now, that mattered more than anything.
JESSE PARKED IN FRONT of the YMCA in Bothell. The Y in Spokane had been a big part of her life ever since she’d had Gabe. She’d taken baby CPR classes there, had gone to Mommy and Me classes where she’d met other young mothers. She’d worked out in the gym, knowing her son was safe in the day care center and the babysitting service they provided had saved her butt more times than she could count.
Now she walked in to pick up Gabe and smiled as she saw him playing with two other little boys. As always, he was laughing and in the center of everything.
One of the teenagers there came up to her. “Hi, Jesse. You’re back early.”
“My meetings went quicker than I’d thought. How was Gabe?”
“Great. He’s really outgoing and he does so well with the other kids. Especially the shy ones. He takes the time to draw them out. Bring him back anytime.”
Jesse smiled and nodded. She wanted to take credit for Gabe’s easy personality, but she knew it was just one of those moments of chance when the gene pool did something beyond right.
Her son looked up and saw her. His smile widened and he raced toward her. “Mommy, Mommy, I made new friends.”
She bent down and grabbed him as he launched himself at her. “Did you? That’s great.”
“I had fun and I want to come back.”
“We’ll have to make sure that happens, won’t we?”
He nodded vigorously.
Jesse signed the paperwork and left, Gabe chatting as he walked with her. He gave her a real-time account of his morning, every event more fun and exciting than the one before. More good luck, she thought as she helped him into his car seat. He was a cheerful, happy kid. She wasn’t sure how she would have survived if he’d been any different.
She closed his door, then got in the driver’s seat.
“Now what?” he asked. “Are we going back to the hotel?”
“We can,” she said slowly, thinking about where they were and how far it would be to the hotel.
A thought pushed into her head. She tried to ignore it, but it just got bigger and louder.
Talk about crazy, she told herself. Hadn’t she been through enough for one day? Did she want to keep torturing herself? Even though she knew it was a bad idea, she heard herself say, “I think there’s someone I want you to meet.”
Gabe’s face brightened. “My daddy?”
“Um, not yet. But someone else. Your grandmother.”
Gabe’s eyes widened and he looked as if she’d just offered him a puppy. “I have a grandmother?” he asked, his voice low and filled with wonder.
“Uh-huh. Your daddy’s mother.” Gabe knew the basics about grandparents, mostly that he didn’t have any. Well, except for Paula.
There was only one problem. Matt’s mother had always hated her.
It’s been a long time, she reminded herself. Maybe Paula had changed. If not, it would be a very short visit.
Jesse drove into Woodinville, to the pretty house Matt had bought for his mother years ago, after his first computer game had been licensed for millions.
For the third time that morning, she pulled in front of a house owned by someone who very well might not welcome her back. But this time she didn’t bother with pictures. She had the real thing.
“Hurry!” Gabe instructed, as she unfastened him from the car seat. “Hurry!”
He ran ahead of her, racing up the walk and then reaching up on his toes so he could push the doorbell. Jesse grabbed her purse, slammed the door and jogged after him, but she was too late. The front door opened before she got there.
Paula stood there, looking a little older, but not all that different. Her hair was still dark like her son’s. There were a few more lines around her face and she’d gained a little weight, but otherwise she was as Jesse remembered.
“Hi,” Gabe said with a grin. “You’re my grandma.”
Paula stiffened as she gazed at the boy, then she looked past him to where Jesse stood halfway up the walk.
“Hi,” Jesse said, knowing she would have handled the situation differently than her four-year-old, but it was too late now. “I probably should have called or something. We just got into Seattle yesterday.”
Paula blinked several times. “Jesse?”
“I’m Gabe,” he said. “You’re my grandma.”
Tears filled Paula’s eyes. “You were pregnant?”
Jesse nodded, still not sure what was going to happen. She braced herself for screaming or nasty accusations. Instead, Paula smiled at Gabe as if he were a treasure she’d never expected to find.
“I’ve never had a grandson before. This is very exciting. Would you like to come in?”
Gabe nodded and stepped into the house. Jesse followed more slowly.
The place was as she remembered. She’d only been to it a few times, but each visit had been difficult enough for her to remember forever.
The colors were soothing, the furniture comfortable. The reason the awkward hours were etched into her brain had nothing to do with the house itself and everything to do with Paula.
“This way,” Paula said. “You know, it’s funny. I made cookies this morning. I don’t usually make cookies, but suddenly I got in the mood.” She smiled at Gabe again, looking stunned but pleased. “Do you like chocolate chip?”
He nodded in appreciation. “They’re my favorite.”
“Mine, too, although I really like peanut butter, too.”
“Those are my favorite, too,” Gabe told her, as charming as ever. “You’re pretty. Isn’t my grandma pretty, Mommy?”
Jesse nodded.
Paula looked as if she couldn’t believe this was happening. “Can I hug you?” she asked him.
Gabe smiled and held out his arms. Paula dropped to her knees and held him close. Her eyes closed as her face took on an expression of such longing that Jesse had to look away. Wasn’t this always the way? The two people who were more likely to welcome her had been cautious and unfriendly. The one person who had always hated her seemed thrilled she was back in town. Life was nothing if not perverse.
Fifteen minutes later, Gabe had eaten a cookie and finished a small glass of milk. He’d also brought Paula up to date on their trip from Spokane and how he was going to meet his daddy soon.
“Matt hasn’t seen him yet?” Paula asked.
Jesse shook her head, then looked into the family room. “Gabe, would you like to watch TV for a little bit?”
It was a rare daytime treat. Her son jumped to his feet and followed her to the sofa. Paula found a channel for kids, then the two women retreated to the kitchen where they could keep an eye on Gabe without being overheard.
“I didn’t know,” Paula said as soon as they were seated. She leaned toward Jesse and touched her hand. “I swear, I didn’t know you were pregnant. All I knew was what your sister said.” She shifted uncomfortably. “I told Matt about that.”
“I know. It’s okay. There were complications.” Jesse hated how, after all this time, the past still had the power to hurt everyone involved.
“It was a long time ago,” Jesse told her. “Whatever you believe, you have to know I loved Matt. I would never have hurt him.”
“I do believe you,” Paula said, surprising her. “He was devastated after you left.”
“Was he?” It was nice to know he’d missed her, however briefly. “I told him I was pregnant, but he didn’t think he was the father. I told him there hadn’t been anyone else, but he didn’t believe me.”
Once again Paula looked uncomfortable. “It’s my fault. All of it. He was angry because of what I said. I’d held him too close for too long. I was one of those horrible, clinging mothers they’re always discussing on talk shows. He was angry with you, but he never forgave me. We stopped being close after you left. We’re still not close. I rarely see him.”
“I’m sorry,” Jesse said, and found she meant it. “You’re his mother. Nothing will ever change that.”
“Something he’s managed to ignore,” she said with a lightness that seemed forced. “So tell me. What have you been doing with yourself?”
“I’ve been living in Spokane. That’s where I went when I took off. At least that’s where the money ran out. I got a job in a bar. I was lucky. Bill, the guy who owns the place, took care of me. Found me a place to live, worked my schedule around Gabe.” She smiled as she thought of her boss and friend. “He’s the one who gave me the kick in the ass to come back here. Well, him and Gabe. Your grandson wants to meet his daddy. I couldn’t keep saying no.”
“Are you and Bill—” Paula’s voice trailed off.
Jesse stared at her. “Are we …” she got the question “… involved? Oh, no. We’re just friends. He says I’m too young for him.” She smiled. “He’s in his sixties, as are all his friends. They’ve been my family while I was gone. It was just so hard being away. It’s only a few hundred miles, but I felt like I was in another world. I couldn’t believe Nicole just let me go.”
Jesse held the coffee mug Paula had given her but didn’t drink. “It was always just Nicole and me. She was my bossy older sister. Claire, her twin, had gone away the year I was born, so I never knew her beyond the little Nicole told me or what I read in magazines.”
“She plays piano?”
“Yes. She’s pretty famous but I don’t really know her beyond some e-mails and letters. She’s been in touch with me over the years. She’s the one who told me about Nicole getting married and all that.” Jesse tried to keep the pain out of her voice. Despite everything that had happened between them, she loved Nicole and had hated being cut off from her. Nicole’s life had gone on, as if she, Jesse, had never been a part of things.
“How long are you back here?” Paula asked.
“I don’t know. A few weeks. I’m half owner of the Keyes Bakery, but I’m not asking Nicole for anything. I’m going to work there and give her my brownie recipe. I’ve been working on it for months. It’s finally perfect and—”
Jesse pressed her lips together. “I’m sorry. I’m going on and on about my life when what you really want to hear about is Gabe. I just haven’t had anyone to talk to in a long time.”
“Me, either,” Paula told her. “Where are you staying?”
“In a motel. I’m going to rent some place furnished in the University District. It will be cheap in the summer.”
“That will make for a lot of driving,” Paula said. “You could just stay here. With me.”
Jesse didn’t know what to say. Talk about an unexpected invitation. “Are you sure?”
“Come see the rooms, then decide.”
Stunned, Jesse followed her upstairs. Two bedrooms sat at one end of the hallway, a shared bathroom between them. Both were set up for guests, with double beds and bright colors. The rooms were lovely, well lit and clean, so different from the seedy place she would have to rent, that she felt herself getting emotional.
“Paula, this is beyond generous,” she murmured.
“They’re both yours for as long as you want,” Matt’s mother said. “I’ve missed four years of my grandson’s life because I was a scared, lonely woman terrified of losing the little she had. Well, I did lose it and I’ve been regretting that more than I can say. Stay here. Please. Let me have the chance to get to know you and Gabe. Let me make up for how horrible I was five years ago. You didn’t deserve that, Jesse. This is the least I can do.”
Actually, it was an irresistible offer, Jesse thought, looking at the rooms. One she wasn’t about to refuse.
“Thank you,” she said, feeling safe and welcome for the first time since arriving in Seattle. “You’re being more than kind. Gabe and I would love to stay.”
“Good. Why don’t you head back to your hotel and pack while I go to the grocery and stock up. Oh, you’ll have to tell me what you both like to eat. I’ve missed cooking for more than myself.”
A beautiful place to stay and someone to do the cooking? It was a little corner of heaven, Jesse thought. And Paula was the most unlikely angel.
CHAPTER FOUR
MATT STOOD IN FRONT OF the large window as he spoke. He was still angry; he could feel the rage burning inside, although he did his best to keep his voice controlled. Not that his attorney was fooled.
“This isn’t the time to make decisions,” Heath told him. “Wait a few days, a couple of weeks. Nothing is going to change and you’ll get a chance to calm down.”
“You wouldn’t be furious in my position?” he asked, glancing over his shoulder.
Heath sat on the edge of his desk. “I’d be beyond pissed,” the other man admitted. “Not telling you she was pregnant and then taking off is unforgivable. We can sue her for that in civil court.”
That wasn’t going to happen, Matt thought grimly. Mostly because Jesse had told him she was pregnant—he just hadn’t believed her. Or rather he hadn’t believed the baby was his, which was about the same thing.
He didn’t want to think about the past. That was a different time and he was a different man now. More controlled and capable, not someone to be led by his emotions. He’d learned a damn hard lesson and he wouldn’t make those same mistakes again. Just because he was the kid’s father didn’t change the fact that she’d slept with someone else.
“I want her destroyed,” he said quietly. “Start with a thorough investigation. I want to know everything about the past five years. Where she’s lived, what she’s been doing, who she slept with, who she talked to. Everything. She used to sleep around, so that won’t have changed. There may be other things.”
Heath nodded. “We’ll find whatever there is and use it against her.”
It wasn’t going to be enough, Matt thought. He wanted more. He wanted her broken and bleeding. He wanted her to lose everything and know that he’d taken it. He wanted revenge.
“There are a dozen ways to make her life uncomfortable,” Heath continued. “Equal say in all decisions, getting an injunction so she can’t leave Seattle. The big one is to sue for custody.”
Take the boy from her. Matt considered the possibility. How she would react. “Do it,” he said.
Heath cleared his throat. “You realize that if you win, you get the kid.”
An abstract concept, he thought. “I’ll deal with that when it happens.” If he needed help, he would hire it. Nannies and boarding schools existed for a reason.
“Do it,” he repeated. “Draw up the papers to sue for custody, but don’t serve her until I tell you. I want to see how this is going to play out.”
There were options to be explored. He was patient. He didn’t have to rush in right away. He could wait and figure out the best way to play his hand. The best way to hurt her and the best way to win.
NICOLE HELD the front door open as Claire led both her children up the front walk. She greeted four-year-old Robby and two-year-old Mirabella before turning to her sister.
“You look perfectly rested,” Nicole grumbled as they embraced.
“You were, too, before the twins were born, and you will be again in a few months.” Claire smiled. “Actually, you’re looking pretty good.”
“I got some sleep yesterday afternoon while Eric was at a play date.”
“The twins are getting into a routine?”
“Sort of.”
Nicole waited until they were in the family room. Robby and Eric raced to the toy bin in the corner and began digging through the contents. Mirabella snuggled up next to her mom on the sofa. For once the twins were awake and not crying as they surveyed the world from identical baby seats.
Nicole sat in an oversized chair that faced the sofa and watched Claire as she spoke. “Jesse’s back.”
Claire smiled serenely, something she’d always done. It still made Nicole crazy. “Is she?”
“You’re not surprised.”
“She’d mentioned she was thinking of returning to Seattle for the summer.”
Nicole stiffened. If not for the five children in the room, she would have been on her feet and swearing, which Claire knew and probably counted on.
“You’ve been in touch with her,” Nicole said, working hard to keep the accusation out of her voice. This was so like Claire. All sweet and agreeable on the outside, but doing exactly what she wanted.
Claire sighed. “She’s my sister, too. A sister I never got a chance to know. You two had the fight, not me, and when she went away, I felt like I’d lost her all over again. So yes, I’ve been in touch with her. We e-mail every month or so. I didn’t think you’d want to know about it.”
What Nicole wanted was to scream, and maybe throw something. She resented the logic of what Claire had said and that Claire had known Jesse was all right while Nicole had wondered and worried. She ignored the voice that said she could have gotten in touch with Jesse just as easily. After all, Nicole had always known where her sister was.
“So she came to see you?” Claire asked.
“Yesterday.”
“Did you meet Gabe?”
“No. She brought pictures.” Photos that Nicole had looked at last night. “He looks a lot like her ex-boyfriend.” Nicole had seen that at once. She glared at Claire. “Don’t you say it.”
“Say what?”
“That who Gabe’s father is means something.”
Claire glanced at her daughter, then lowered her voice. “She was never involved with Drew.”
“How do you know?”
“She told me.”
Jesse had tried to tell Nicole, too, only she hadn’t wanted to hear it. Or maybe she just wasn’t ready to play that old game of trying to figure out the truth.
“I’ll never be sure,” Nicole said at last.
“Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith. She’s your sister. Doesn’t that mean something?”
It meant Jesse had the power to hurt her more than most people. Something she’d done time and time again.
“I believe her,” Claire said. “She’s a part of my family and I have to give her the benefit of the doubt.”
“I don’t,” Nicole said flatly. “She’s had too many chances already.”
“That was a long time ago.”
“I don’t believe she’s changed. She’s going to have to prove herself to me first.”
“Is there anything she can do to convince you or are you setting her up to fail?”
Nicole considered the question, then gave an honest answer. “I don’t know.”
JESSE PULLED THE BROWNIES from the oven and stared at the pan. They looked perfect, as did the other three batches she’d already made that morning, but maybe she would try again.
“Obsess much?” she muttered to herself, knowing that she couldn’t do any more than her best. Either Nicole would admit the brownies were fabulous, or she wouldn’t and there was very little Jesse could do to change the outcome.
Being rational and calm were still attributes she was working on and this seemed like a great opportunity to practice. Wasn’t it great how life was always teaching lessons?
She set the brownies on the cooling racks, then jumped when her cell phone rang. A quick check of the display showed her a 206 area code, which meant Seattle, and a number she didn’t recognize.
“Hello?”
“Jesse? It’s Matt. I’d like to meet my son.”
Her heart jumped into overdrive while her throat tightened. Just like that, she thought, trying not to panic. No preliminaries or idle conversation. Just right to the point.
“He would like that as well,” she said, hoping she sounded relaxed and at ease. She knew Matt’s office was in Bellevue and remembered a large McDonald’s close by, with a play area. Having fun stuff for Gabe to do would make the meeting more relaxed. At least that was the theory. “How do you feel about a burger and fries?”
“I’m not interested in lunch.”
Apparently he wasn’t interested in being friendly, either, she thought. She gave him the location and they settled on two in the afternoon. When they hung up, she glanced at the clock. The meeting was three hours away, which gave her far too long to panic and obsess.
TWO HOURS AND FIFTY-FIVE minutes later, Jesse pulled into the parking lot of the McDonald’s and sent warm, fuzzy mental vibrations to whomever had decided that a big play area in the fast-food place was a good idea. Mothers around the country, maybe around the world, had benefited from the chance to let their kids out of the house in a safe play environment that supplied caffeine and French fries. What could be better?
Gabe practically threw himself out of his car seat. “Is he here? Is he here?”
“I don’t know,” Jesse said, nearly as excited as Gabe, but for very different reasons. Matt had been the only man she’d ever loved. Their most recent meeting had been awkward and difficult. She was hoping this one would go better.
To that end, she’d resisted the need to change clothes four hundred times. Not that she had anything fabulous to wear. Her world was one of jeans and T-shirts or sweatshirts, depending on the season. There wasn’t any money left over from say, buying milk, to fill her closet with designer anything. She made do with what was on sale or in decent shape at the local thrift store. Besides, this meeting wasn’t about her. It was about Gabe meeting his father for the first time.
They walked into the McDonald’s. She saw Matt right away. He was the only guy in a suit. He rose and faced them.
God, he was good-looking, she thought taking in the chiseled features and dark eyes. He had an air of confidence and power that she imagined most women would find irresistible. Yet she knew a side of the man the rest of the world didn’t see. She knew what made him laugh, what pissed him off, how he liked to be kissed and touched and how she could literally bring him to his knees if she …
Or she had, she reminded himself, fighting the need to touch him, to step into his embrace and have him hold her. He’d been the only person on the planet who could make her feel safe. Five years was a long time to miss that feeling, but it was something she was going to have to get over. This Matt was a stranger to her. She didn’t know him anymore and she was going to have to remember that.
He barely looked at her, instead focusing his considerable attention on his son. Gabe walked up to him and smiled.
“Are you my daddy?”
“Yes,” Matt told him.
But he spoke without emotion and didn’t smile or bend down to get on Gabe’s level. Her son stepped back and frowned.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” Matt turned to her. “We’ll be doing a DNA test.”
“Sure.” She’d offered it before. Why would she mind now? But what about Gabe? Why was Matt acting like this? Didn’t he plan to get to know his …
Then she remembered the disgruntled Electra and knew that Matt’s actions had nothing to do with him being a jerk and everything to do with his lack of experience with children. He didn’t know how to talk to a four-year-old boy.
She relaxed and put her hand on Gabe’s shoulder. “It’s okay,” she told her son. “It’s like the first day of school, when you don’t know anyone. It feels funny inside, but you know you’re going to be friends, right?”
Gabe shot her a look that spoke of disappointment. She remembered how Paula had welcomed him, literally with open arms.
She dropped into a crouch. “He’s nervous,” she whispered, although she wasn’t sure if she cared if Matt heard or not. “You’re his first little boy. So maybe we can give it time. He’ll get used to you.”
Gabe sighed. “Can I go on the slide?”
“Sure.”
She watched him go and wondered if Matt cared that he’d disappointed his son. She knew Gabe had been hoping for something more than a semi-formal introduction.
She moved to a table where she could keep an eye on the play area. Matt hesitated, then followed. He’d seen his kid—did he consider the meeting over?
“He’s doing really well,” she said, deciding to just start talking. “He’s been in preschool for a year now and it’s been great. He’s highly verbal and outgoing. He makes friends easily. The teachers like him.”
Matt looked at her rather than Gabe. “He must get that from you.”
“Maybe. He’s good at math, which is probably your doing.” She hesitated. “This has got to be strange for you. Seeing him like this. He’s probably not even real.”
“He’s real enough.”
So Matt wasn’t going to make it easy. “What do you want?” she asked. “Have you figured that out?”
He stared at her. “An interesting question.”
“We should probably set up some time for you two to get to know each other. You don’t have a lot of experience with children, but that’s okay. The two of you can work it out as you go.”
“You sound very sure of yourself.”
“He’s an easy kid to be with.” She smiled. “I want this to go well, Matt. You’re his father. That means so much to him.”
Jesse sounded earnest and sincere, Matt thought grimly. There was a time when he would have been young enough and stupid enough to believe her. Not anymore. She was playing him, which was fine. He was going to play her right back. He just had to decide how.
He followed her gaze and saw her watching the kid. Gabe had stopped to talk to a girl about his size. They were laughing, then the two of them went to the slide together. Jesse smiled, as if pleased by the exchange.
She didn’t look all that different, he thought. Still blond, blue-eyed and pretty. She looked like she belonged on a surfboard, or modeling as a milkmaid. When she turned and caught him watching her, she smiled again. An easy, shared smiled. As if they had something in common. As if she’d never betrayed him.
“Gabe has a way with the ladies,” she said. “I’m worried about how that will play out when he gets older, but one problem at a time, right?”
Matt nodded, not interested in Gabe, except as a means to an end.
“Why now?” he asked.
She didn’t pretend to misunderstand him. “Gabe’s been asking about you for a while now. I wasn’t going to lie and tell him you were dead, so I told him the truth. That you didn’t know about him.”
“But I did know. You told me.”
“You didn’t believe me.” She dropped her gaze to the floor. “I understand why. I mean, sure, it hurt, but given my past, I shouldn’t have been surprised, right? Telling you I loved you wouldn’t have changed anything, would it?”
She looked at him, all wide-eyed and hurt, as if remembering distressed her. Did she really think he would buy that?
“I hoped you’d think about it later and maybe wonder, but you didn’t,” she continued. “So we’re back and we’ll figure this out.” She rose. “Could you watch him while I get him a snack?”
She was gone before he could say anything, leaving him responsible for a four-year-old kid.
Matt sat in his seat, not sure what he was supposed to do. What did he know about children? He turned his attention to Gabe, but the boy hadn’t noticed his mother was gone. Instead he continued talking to the little girl. They were playing with a big truck and laughing.
A few minutes later, Jesse returned with milk, two coffees and a yogurt parfait. She handed one of the coffees to Matt. Gabe ran up and pointed at the parfait. “Is that for me?” he asked with a grin.
She ruffled his hair. “I’ll share. Oh, look. Your shoe’s untied.”
Gabe looked at Matt, then bent down and slowly, carefully, tied his shoe. Jesse watched anxiously, as if this was a big deal. Matt realized he didn’t know when kids were supposed to learn to tie their shoes. Was Gabe early, late or on time?
The kid finished and straightened. Jesse hugged him.
“Excellent job. Good for you.”
Gabe looked at Matt, who gave him a slight smile. Gabe turned away.
“He’s just learned,” Jesse said by way of explanation. “It’s tough for little kids. Their fine motor skills take a while to develop.”
“Uncle Bill helped me,” Gabe said as he took the milk.
Who the hell was Uncle Bill? Matt might not have any big interest in the kid, but he wasn’t happy about Jesse’s boyfriends hanging around him. Or was he more than a boyfriend? He dropped his gaze to her left hand.
“You married?” he asked.
Jesse choked on her coffee. “No.” She cleared her throat, then laughed. “Married. That’s a good one. I don’t have time to get to the dry cleaners, let alone date. If only.”
Was she telling the truth about dating? He would know soon enough. She’d always had guys around. She was that kind of woman. Men found her sexy and attractive. Even now, angry and looking for ways to punish her, he noticed how the light played on her skin and the easy way she smiled. If he let himself, he could remember how sexy he’d always found everything about her. Childbirth hadn’t changed her body in any way that he could tell.
Jesse without a man? Impossible to imagine. So she was lying about that, too.
An older woman in a suit walked into the play area. Matt had never seen her before, but she looked official and out of place, so he waved her over.
“Mr. Fenner?” she asked. “I’m from the lab.”
“DNA test,” Matt said when Jesse raised her eyebrows.
She blinked at him. “Oh, right. Okay. Sure. What do you need?”
“A cheek swab. It doesn’t hurt.”
Jesse looked doubtful. “Can you do me first?” she asked. “I know you don’t need it, but it would make Gabe feel better.”
“I’ll be doing it as well,” Matt told her. “Is that good enough?”
She hesitated long enough to annoy him, then nodded. She called over her son.
“This nice lady needs to do a special test on you,” she began, then held up her hands. “No needles. Look, Matt is going to show you what’s involved so you can see you don’t have to be scared.”
Gabe looked doubtful, but stayed in place. The woman put on plastic gloves, then removed a swab from sterile packaging and asked him to open his mouth. Seconds later, she was finished.
“That looks easy,” Jesse said cheerfully. “Did it hurt?”
“Not at all,” Matt told her, feeling like an idiot. It was a swab. How could it hurt?
Gabe swallowed, then opened his mouth. When the test was done, he grinned. “I was brave.”
“Yes, you were,” Jesse told him. “This is to make sure Matt’s really your daddy.”
“But you said he was.”
“I know, but this makes it official. Just to be sure.”
Gabe obviously wasn’t used to having his mother’s word questioned. Give it time, Matt thought.
The woman from the lab left.
The boy slid close to Jesse. “When he’s sure, will he like me?” he asked in a loud whisper.
Jesse shot Matt a look, then hugged Gabe. “He likes you now, honey. But the test will make everyone feel better.”
Matt had the feeling of being judged, which didn’t make sense. What had he done wrong?
Jesse picked up the kid and set him on her lap. “You’re getting big,” she said. “Some days I can actually see you growing.”
Gabe laughed and turned to him. “When I reach the mark on the wall I get to have a real bike.”
Jesse sighed. “Something I agreed to in a moment of weakness. A two-wheeler, but with training wheels.”
Gabe sighed. “Yes, Mommy. But when Uncle Bill teaches me how to ride, I don’t have to use them anymore.”
Who was this Uncle Bill? This was the second time his name had come up. Matt made a note to make sure the investigator found out everything about him.
“Give me a break,” she told her son, hugging him close. “Don’t grow up so fast. I like you small.”
“But I want to be big!”
Jesse laughed and her long hair swung forward. She turned to him then, happy and beautiful and so full of life.
He’d seen her like that a hundred times. He’d seen her smile turn wicked as she reached for him. He’d seen her tired and sleepy and shaking with passion. He knew her body, or he had. He knew her scent and the feel of her skin. He’d once said he could find her blindfolded in a room full of women.
He’d loved her years ago; when he’d been young and stupid and thought everything would work out. But it hadn’t. She’d betrayed him and now, still angry, he knew taking Gabe away from her wasn’t enough revenge. There had to be more. But what?
“Do you like my mommy?” Gabe asked.
The unexpected question surprised Matt. “Of course,” he said quickly, knowing he couldn’t speak the truth. That he hated her with a passion that could burn through steel.
“Do you love her?” the boy asked.
“Shh,” Jesse said quickly as color stained her cheeks. “That’s one of those not-polite questions we’ve talked about.”
“But why?”
“It just is.”
She was embarrassed. Why? Out of guilt? Or did she still have feelings for him? As long as there was some kind of weakness, he wanted to exploit it. But how? There was no way to make up for what she’d done unless he did it to her. Get her to care about him, get her to expose her heart so he could crush her.
Was that the answer? Steal her heart and her child? That would leave her with nothing.
It was a ruthless and cruel plan, which made him like every part of it. He’d spent the past five years honing his skills with women. If he put his mind to it, Jesse wouldn’t stand a chance. Then he would walk away without looking back.
CHAPTER FIVE
MATT STOOD. “I’M NOT a yogurt kind of guy,” he said. “How about some fries?”
“Sure.” Jesse watched him walk to the front of the restaurant and order.
He was so different, she thought, wishing they could all be more comfortable together. That would take time. She knew that. Most good things took time. Only this wasn’t what she wanted—the distance, the strained conversations. She wanted them to be comfortable together … a family.
If only, she thought, not sure that would ever happen. So much time had passed. It hurt to remember how close she and Matt had been and how much had been lost.
He returned with a tray and three orders of fries.
“That’s a lot of food,” she murmured, knowing Gabe couldn’t eat even half of the order and she shouldn’t. Fries seemed to take a straight line to her thighs.
“Eat what you want and leave the rest,” Matt told her.
She held in a laugh. Waste food? Not on her income. Every crumb was accounted for. Not that he would understand that. Matt had been rich when she’d left and he seemed to have done well in the past five years.
Gabe returned to their table and eyed the fries. She smiled. “Yes, you may have some.”
He grinned and grabbed one. Fries weren’t a regular food in their house. All this eating out and fast food was going to go to his head.
Jesse reached for a fry herself, only to find that it didn’t taste like much. She wasn’t hungry at all. If anything, her stomach felt a little queasy. The old “I used to be in love with you and now I’m nervous” diet. Limited audience, but very effective. She grabbed her coffee.
“You were in Spokane the whole time?” Matt asked.
“Yes. I ran out of gas and money pretty much at the same time. Once I was working, I didn’t feel the need to move on.” She hadn’t been hiding, just trying to get away. Not that anyone had come looking for her.
She felt bitterness rise up inside of her, but pushed it away. Both Nicole and Matt had been angry with her, thinking she’d betrayed them. That’s why they hadn’t hunted her down and dragged her back. At least that’s what she told herself because it was better than the alternative. That neither of them had really cared about her at all.
“Have you seen your sister?” Matt asked.
Was he showing interest in her? Being polite? Was it possible he could get over being mad?
“Yes. I stopped by to see Nicole after I saw you.”
“How did that go?”
“Not great. She’s dealing with a lot right now. She has twins who are only a few months old, so that’s hard. I’m going to start working in the bakery, just to help out. Plus I’ve created a brownie recipe I think she’ll really like. I’m going to make some for her. Sort of a tasting.”
Which couldn’t be anything he was interested in. So maybe she should talk about something that would be more relevant. As much as it pained her to bring up the past.
“I wanted to tell you,” she said, aware that Gabe was still sitting next to her, munching on fries. “I didn’t know how. You’d been so angry and I was hurt. I felt guilty.”
“About Drew?” Matt asked, anger flaring in his eyes.
She stiffened. “No. Nothing happened there. I told you that.” She glanced at her son. “We’ll talk about that later.”
“Fine, but we will talk about it.”
Because he didn’t believe her, she thought sadly. Just like Nicole didn’t believe her. She pushed away her fries and pressed a hand against her stomach. She felt queasy and uncomfortable. None of this was going the way she wanted. Her fantasy had been a perfect family reunion. Instead she’d gotten an awkward reality, which really sucked.
“I owe you child support,” Matt said.
What? “No, you don’t.”
“Gabe is my son, my responsibility.”
“None of this is about that.” She wished she knew what he was thinking. She’d been able to read him before, but now he was a mystery. “I didn’t come back for money. I came back so you and Gabe could get to know each other.”
Matt didn’t look as if he believed her, but he didn’t say anything. Was that good or bad? Was it too late for him to connect with his son? She refused to believe that.
Gabe leaned against her and sighed.
“Getting tired, buddy?” she asked as she stroked his head. “You had a busy morning.”
He looked at Matt. “I played outside with my grandma, then we read a story. I’m learning my letters. I know Q.”
Matt’s features tightened. “Your grandmother?”
Jesse swore silently. She’d meant to tell him about that.
“Uh-huh,” Gabe said. “My grandma Paula.”
Jesse put her arm around her son. “I went to see her, too. She’s his only grandparent and I wanted them to meet. She was thrilled and invited us to stay.”
“You can’t,” Matt told her. “Not there.”
“Why not? There’s plenty of room and she’s great with Gabe. I want him to get to know all his family.”
“You’re not going to get any money out of her. However she pretends to care, she keeps the cash locked up.”
Jesse’s cheeks heated. “Is that what you think?” she asked as she stood. “That this is all about money? There are more important things.”
“The only people who really believe that are the ones without any money. I’m guessing you’re one of them.”
“You’re right. I don’t have your millions and I don’t need them. Gabe and I do just fine.”
“That’s crap and you know it. This is all about you getting in on what I have. Just admit it, Jesse. At least then we’re starting from a place of honesty.”
She couldn’t believe what he was saying. Did he really believe that about her? Or was it not specifically her? Was it everyone?
“You’re not interested in me being honest,” she told him. “You believe what you want because it’s easier. I can’t stop you, so I won’t try. What I do want to know is how you changed so much. You were never like this before.”
He rose and stared at her. One corner of his mouth turned up in a mocking smile. “I am what you made me, Jesse. You should be proud.”
JESSE STOPPED AT THE red light and did her best to wake up. She was still upset by her conversation with Matt the previous day. She hadn’t slept much and had been up early to bake brownies.
Even breathing in their delicious smell didn’t make her feel any better. She felt tired and beat-up. Telling herself to forget about Matt was good advice, but not something she seemed able to do. While she knew in her head that things were bound to have changed between them, her heart hadn’t gotten the e-mail. Apparently some part of her had foolishly hoped there would still be a connection between them.
“Idiot,” she muttered as the light turned green and she drove through the intersection.
Sure, she’d loved Matt once. He’d been everything to her, but he was gone now. So different that he might as well have been a complete stranger. Wanting more than a slightly cordial relationship with the father of her child was impossible. She would have to accept that and move on. And she would. Just as soon as she got through her meeting with Nicole and downed a triple-shot latte.
She pulled up in front of her sister’s house and parked. The brownies were in a pink bakery box she’d bought. That morning she’d made two batches of each of the three flavors she wanted Nicole to taste. She’d cherry-picked a dozen of the best brownies of each flavor and put them in little paper cups. Presentation was everything, she reminded herself.
After collecting the box, she walked to the front door and rang the bell.
The door was answered by a tall, well-built, gorgeous guy who could have been an underwear model ten years ago.
“Hi,” he said with a grin. “I’m Hawk. You must be Jesse. Come on in. I’m not allowed to stay for the tasting. Nicole says I don’t have a subtle enough palate, but those brownies smell good so make sure she doesn’t eat them all.”
“Not to worry, I brought three dozen,” Jesse said, immediately liking the man.
He led the way into the kitchen, which was much tidier than the last time she’d seen it. Nicole stood at the counter, pouring coffee. She turned as Jesse entered.
“Good morning,” she said, not sounding especially excited to have company. “You brought the brownies?”
“Yes.” Jesse set the box on the kitchen table.
Another woman entered the room. Someone as tall and blond as Nicole, with similar features.
Claire, Jesse thought, feeling strange at seeing her other sister—the one she’d never really known.
Claire and Nicole were fraternal twins, six years older than Jesse. At the age of three, Claire had sat down at a piano and started playing perfectly, despite the fact that she’d never had a lesson. By the time Jesse was born, she’d been whisked off to New York to study and play around the world. Jesse had grown up never really knowing Claire, only resenting her princess lifestyle as she moved from fabulous city to fabulous city, meeting the rich and famous and playing the piano.
Jesse and Nicole had been stuck back in Seattle, trying to grow up without much supervision. Nicole had always hated Claire for leaving, even though it hadn’t been her choice, while Jesse had simply wanted to go with her on her travels.
Jesse still didn’t know Claire very well, but she’d been the one to stay in touch when Jesse had moved away.
“You made it back,” Claire said by way of greeting. “Is Seattle the same as you remembered?”
“Pretty much. There’s a lot of new construction.”
“That’s the strong job market drawing people here.” Claire took the mug of coffee Nicole offered. Jesse did the same.
There was a moment of awkward silence. Jesse felt uneasy. While these people were her family, they were strangers for one reason or another. And they all thought the worst of her.
Hawk moved next to Nicole and put his hands on her shoulders. He whispered something, then kissed her. His adoration was visible even across the room. Jesse felt a rush of pleasure that her sister had found someone so good for her and, close at its heels, envy, because she wanted the same thing for herself. She immediately thought of Matt, which was dumb. He might have been “the one” five years ago, but he wasn’t anymore.
“I’ll leave you ladies to your tasting,” Hawk said. “Nicole, remember what I said.”
She laughed. “We’re not going to eat them all. You’ll have plenty.”
She and Hawk shared one of those intimate looks that passes between people who know each other and are secure in their love, then he left.
Nicole and Claire both sat at the table. Jesse joined them and opened the bakery box.
“I have three kinds of brownies,” Jesse said. “Plain chocolate, chocolate with walnuts and peanut-butter chocolate.”
“And these are your recipes?” Nicole asked.
Jesse resisted the urge to snap. “Yes. I developed them myself. I’ve kept records so there’s a clear evolution of the process.”
She hated that she had to explain herself, that Nicole just wouldn’t trust her, but that was her sister’s way. Nicole would never forgive Jesse for selling the famous Keyes cake online five years ago.
Nicole took one of each brownie. Claire did the same, then laughed. “I’m not really an expert. Is saying I like them going to be enough?”
“It is for me,” Jesse said, then held her breath as Nicole took a bite.
Nicole chewed and swallowed without saying anything. She got up and filled a glass with water, took a sip, returned to the table and tasted again.
She ate slowly, and deliberately, tasting each brownie three times before finishing her water and turning to Claire.
“What do you think?” she asked.
“They’re amazing. Really rich without being overpowering. I’m not usually big on the whole peanut-butter-chocolate combo, but even those are incredible.”
Jesse didn’t relax. Nicole wouldn’t care what Claire thought.
Nicole pushed away the brownies. “They’re good. I’d sell them in the bakery.”
Jesse exhaled. “All three flavors?”
Nicole nodded.
Relief was sweet and instant. “Great. So now what?”
Claire rose. “I’m going to leave you two to talk business. I’ll be in the back with the kids.” She patted Jesse on the shoulder as she left.
Nicole leaned back in her chair. “What do you want? You said before you were interested in earning your way back in. Is that still true?”
“Yes.” What did she want? A do-over. She wanted to somehow change the past. Except she wouldn’t give up Gabe and she liked the person she’d become.
“I want to work for you for six months,” Jesse began, making it up as she went. “After that period of time, we’ll discuss me becoming your partner. During that six months, you’ll get the brownie recipes. If things don’t work out, I take them with me.”
“And go sell them somewhere else? I don’t think so. If you leave, the brownie recipes stay, but I’ll pay you for them.”
Jesse didn’t like that, but she understood Nicole’s concerns. She wouldn’t want to sell something in the bakery for six months only to lose it and possibly customers.
Before Jesse could respond, Nicole said, “Or I could just buy you out. You’re over twenty-five now. I could get a loan and you’d get cash for half what the bakery is worth.”
It would be a lot of money, Jesse thought. Enough for her to start her own business. But that wasn’t what she wanted.
“I want to make this work,” she told her sister. “That’s why I’m here.”
“I have trouble believing that,” Nicole admitted. “But you’re different. That’s obvious.”
“I don’t care what I do at the bakery. You always need extra help. I’ll provide that. I’m not saying I have to be in charge. You’re still the boss.”
Nicole shifted in her seat. “An interesting statement. Since having the twins, it’s been really hard for me to get into the bakery much. We’re stretched pretty thin. What I need is someone to help run the place. You have any management experience?”
“I’ve been running a bar.”
Nicole’s eyes widened. “You’re kidding.”
“No. I worked my way up from server. I would bartend and run the place a few nights a week. I’ve managed employees and drunk customers. A few businesspeople buying donuts and coffee will be easy. I also have my associates’ degree in business.”
“You went to college?”
“In the morning. I worked at night and did homework when I could.”
“What about Gabe?”
“I raised him, too.”
“You’ve been busy.”
Jesse nodded. She felt a little pride and took pleasure in the fact that Nicole seemed impressed. Despite what Nicole believed, Jesse cared about what her sister thought of her. Which was why she was willing to shatter the moment of connection between them by saying, “We have to talk about Drew.”
It was like a wall came down. “No, we don’t,” Nicole snapped.
“Fine. You can just listen. I didn’t sleep with him. I never slept with him or had anything close to an inappropriate relationship with him.” Jesse spoke quickly, afraid Nicole might bolt. “We used to talk, nothing more. He listened and I had a lot to say. One night …” She drew in a breath.
“That night I was upset. I’d found an engagement ring while I was helping Matt unpack. I knew he was going to propose. I loved him so much, but I was terrified, too. Terrified of blowing it. I’d never had a real relationship before. Could I have one with Matt? I wanted to, but I’d always managed to mess up everything good in my life. I didn’t want to screw up with him.”
Nicole started to stand. Jesse put her hand on her arm.
“You have to listen.”
“I don’t want to hear this.”
“I need to tell you.”
Nicole sank back in the chair and crossed her arms over her chest. “Go on.”
“I was crying,” Jesse said, thinking that not talking about this was so much easier. She hated the feelings that rushed up in her, the sense of being swept back into the past. “He sat on the bed and told me I couldn’t change who I was. I would never settle for one guy. Girls like me didn’t settle down.”
She swallowed against the tightness in her throat. “I was stunned. Was he right? Was I going to hurt Matt? Worse, maybe I didn’t deserve him.”
She closed her eyes. Shame filled her. Shame that someone would think she was worth so little. “Drew kissed me. He kissed me and I let him because I’d always used guys to make myself feel better. Why should this be different? Then he pulled off my T-shirt and touched my bare skin and I lost it. I knew I didn’t want anyone but Matt. That I had changed. I started to push him away.”
There was more. There was how sick she’d felt inside. How she’d thought she was going to throw up. There was her terror that Nicole would hear them and come in, which was what had happened anyway. There was the rapid pounding of her heart and the knowledge that the very last piece of innocence buried deep inside had been shattered.
“That’s when you came in,” she whispered. “Drew jumped up and shouted that I’d been coming on to him. I knew you were going to believe him.”
She opened her eyes. Nicole stared at her, but she couldn’t read her expression. Did her sister believe her? Did she still hate her?
There was so much more she wanted to explain. She wanted to say that it had hurt so much to have Nicole turn her back on her. It had hurt to be shut out of her only family.
“I didn’t sleep with him,” Jesse repeated. “Nothing happened and not because we were interrupted.”
“I want to believe you,” Nicole told her. “For a lot of reasons.”
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