Her Perfect Man
Jillian Hart
New neighbor Chad Lawson seems too perfect. At least to Rebecca McKaslin, who's been burned by a Prince Charming–type before.Worried, her loving family supports her time-out from romance. Yet, as Rebecca gets to know her handsome, churchgoing neighbor, his reliable, friendly nature challenges her resistance to relationships. Soon, she wonders if God put him in her life for a reason. Should she accept this rare gift and risk her heart again?
“Love is complicated. When it ends, it’s even more so.”
Rebecca squeezed her eyes shut, as if looking in instead of out.
She was a soft touch. Hers was a goodness that didn’t come and go, but remained when the going got tough. She was no holiday Christian. It was his guess that she had a big, forgiving heart.
When she opened her eyes, she gave another shoulder shrug. “My sisters tell me that’s part of healing and moving on. But this love thing is painful.”
“It can be,” Chad answered. “So, this guy, he’s the one you were hoping to marry?”
“Not exactly. I was just hoping, is all. And now I’m on a path I didn’t expect.”
“Maybe it’s a better one.”
“Maybe.” She smiled at him, truly smiled.
Just like that his heart clicked, and he was in like with her. How about that?
JILLIAN HART
makes her home in Washington State, where she has lived most of her life. When Jillian is not hard at work on her next story, she loves to read, go to lunch with her friends and spend quiet evenings with her family.
Her Perfect Man
Jillian Hart
But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.
—Psalms 71:14
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Epilogue
Questions for Discussion
Chapter One
The phone was ringing inside her apartment, but Rebecca McKaslin stepped out into the late-summer evening anyway. Thank goodness for caller ID. Why was Chris calling? He knew she wouldn’t talk to him ever again—mostly because she’d told him so. How many times would she have to let it ring before he got a clue?
Exasperated, she yanked the door shut and the lock gave a metallic click. See, this was the reason she’d adopted her newly instated No Man policy. Men, they didn’t call when you wanted them to, but when you didn’t want them to call ever, then, voilà, the phone rang off the hook.
Well, she was a free and independent woman these days and she wasn’t even going to let the thought of her ex-boyfriend bug her. It was too bad that he had regrets, because she didn’t, thank you very much. She went to hike her purse strap higher on her shoulder—
Wait. No purse strap.
No purse. How had she forgotten it? It was right there by the door on the little hallway table where the phone had been ringing with Chris’s number flashing away.
No biggie, she told herself and lifted her hand to sort through her keys.
Wait. No keys. She stared at her empty hand. Had she left her key ring inside, too? Oh, probably. Talk about being an airhead, Rebecca. If she wasn’t careful, she was going to turn into her sister Ava who, as adorable as she was, forgot everything.
Okay, this was a major problem. How was she going to drive the car? Pick up the pizza? Get to her sister’s house in time to babysit?
Good going, Rebecca. Way to start off the evening. She folded a stray lock of brown hair out of her eyes. She tried the doorknob just in case it wasn’t really locked and that click had been a figment of her imagination.
Nope. The knob didn’t turn. Wasn’t that just her luck? If she had her purse, she would have her cell phone and so a quick call to someone in her family would fix this in a jiffy. If it wasn’t after five o’clock on a Friday, she could bother her neighbor Ephraim, but he was off at a church function.
So who did that leave? Asking a neighbor she didn’t know to borrow a phone? She hadn’t lived in this complex long. She didn’t know her neighbors, other than Ephraim, but she was going to have to start knocking on doors. As she was shy, that was not something she was looking forward to. Although judging by the quiet stillness of the complex, most of them probably wouldn’t be home.
On a brighter note, the phone inside her apartment had stopped ringing. Was Chris finally giving up? Getting a hint? Finding a clue?
A girl could always hope. Because she was done with dudes for good—or at least the next decade. Prince Charming could come walking around the corner and she would be Fort Knox. Her affections impenetrable. Her No Man policy was unshakable.
“You need any help?” A man’s voice came out of nowhere right behind her.
Her heart jumped hard enough to make it to the moon and back. She turned around and clutched the porch rail to steady herself. There was a drop-dead handsome guy standing on her walkway—and not just everyday ordinary handsome, either. But twenty on a scale of ten. Really wow. She had to be dreaming, right? She blinked, but nope, the gorgeous guy was still standing there as real as could be.
He was a big athletic-looking guy—not heavily muscled, but not lanky, either. He was tall with blond hair and a wholesome, guy-next-door grin. He wore a loose sport T-shirt and basketball shorts. Friendly looking.
“I saw you lock yourself out.” He had a wholesome smile, too, one that brought out a dimple in his right cheek and an honest sparkle in his dark eyes. He was also carrying a cardboard box in the crook of his arm. “I wasn’t peeping or anything. I was unloading my truck and I couldn’t help noticing. I’m moving in next door.”
“Oh, you’re Ephraim’s new roommate?”
“Guilty. You must be Rebecca. He’s talked about you. Only good things, though. Said to look you up if I wanted to join a Bible study group.”
“I’d be happy to give you the information, except—”
“All your information is inside?”
“Yep.”
“Isn’t that always how it goes?” He flashed her a hundred-watt grin. “You look like you’re on your way somewhere.”
“Yep, in a hurry without the keys to start my car.”
“That’s gotta spell trouble.” He was, as her sister Ava would say, super-duper.
But was she noticing? No. It was good to know her No Man policy was firmly in place. Talk about peace of mind. She crossed her arms over her heart like a shield. “Trouble? That’s the least of it. I’m running late, and now this. It’s just been one of those days of doom.”
“Hey, I have those too now and then.”
There was something about that friendly smile, Rebecca decided as she found herself smiling back. If there really was a Prince Charming, then this man would be him.
“A pretty girl like you is probably rushing out for a date, right?”
“I’m pleading the fifth on that one.”
“I see.” His voice was warm as if it was a smile all on its own. “I’m Chad, by the way. Chad Lawson.”
“Rebecca McKaslin.”
“Well, Rebecca. Do you have a spare key lying around?”
“No. I’m not that organized.” Mostly because she wasn’t usually this absentminded. “And if I did, I wouldn’t be standing here staring like I’ve lost my mind.”
“That’s not how I would describe you.”
“Then you are too kind.” She shaded her eyes with her hand. “I hate to bother you, but could I use your phone?”
“That would be no bother at all.” There went that dimple, flashing at her. He had the knack of putting people at ease. “You’re going to call a locksmith?”
“Or my sister for the key. It’s her condo. I rent from her. She’s not going to be happy with me. Katherine is pregnant and on bed rest.”
“Is she going to be okay?”
Rebecca sighed. Right now she should start collecting all the reasons why she wasn’t going to like Chad, but then he had to go and ask the perfect question. She had to like anyone who asked about her family. “It looks as if she and the baby will be fine, but you never know. It’s some high blood pressure problem.”
“I’ll keep her in my prayers.” He seemed sincere standing there with the sunlight bronzing him and concern on his chiseled face. “You don’t want to disturb her by getting that key. I’ve got an idea.”
“What kind of idea?” This ought to be interesting. She squinted at him, trying to figure out why he was being so nice. Maybe he was just a nice guy—or liked people to think he was. A smart girl would be on guard for that kind of thing.
“How about I break in for you?”
“Break in? Uh, that has the word break in it.”
“Sure, but not literally.” There was something reassuring about him as he set down the cardboard box he carried on the concrete walkway. “I’m assuming that your unit has a sliding-glass door like ours does?”
“Sure, but—”
“Then trust me.”
Wow, he had the most honest eyes. Good thing there wasn’t a single bit of interest. Nada. Zero on a scale of ten.
“Wait here. I’ll be right back.” He had classic features, a confident rugged air to him, tousled blond hair and wide shoulders. In short: gorgeous.
Didn’t that spell trouble?
Not for me, she reminded herself. She wanted to find fault with him but she couldn’t. She didn’t want to like the way two dimples bracketed his friendly, open smile or the dependable line of his wide shoulders as he turned and disappeared around the corner of her condo.
Was he a locksmith or something? She checked her watch; she had called in a pizza order for pickup and it was probably about ready. She didn’t want the cheesy sticks to dry out. How long did it take for a locksmith to pick a lock, or whatever it was that they did?
She tried not to think about how disappointed little Tyler was going to be if they didn’t have the pizza night she’d promised him. Hey, she was going to be disappointed, too, because she loved her nights with the munchkins. Family was everything to her. Simply everything.
The warm wind gusted gently, bringing the scent of roses from the garden around back. She let the fragrance wash through her. Just the sweet old-fashioned scent soothed her. Why was she so tense?
It wasn’t only from Chris’s barrage of calls. He’d done this before when they were off again. She was managing through the stress. It would stop, if all went according to her experience with him. No, what bothered her was much more complex, and it troubled her every time she sat still long enough to feel it.
She ought to be moving forward with her life instead of being stuck in place. Everything felt off. She hated feeling like this, lost and at loose ends. Why was it still bugging her? Hadn’t she come to a good solution last night in prayer?
Yes. She was letting go and letting God.
Another phone started to ring again—she recognized the electronic jingle of her cell phone muffled by the thick door. No doubt it was Chris again, persistent, as always.
I’m giving this up to you, too, Lord. She looked heavenward and heard the phone cut off—and start ringing again. Not the best of signs, but her faith was strong. I trust You with this. I know You have a plan.
And speaking of a plan, where had the neighbor guy gone? There wasn’t one sign of Chad. Then again, there wasn’t the sound of breaking glass, either. That had to be a good thing.
Suddenly her doorknob rattled and turned. She startled in surprise as the door swung open to reveal Chad standing in her foyer.
“What? How did you—” She leaned against the rail as he joined her on the porch. “What did you do?”
“I went to your patio and popped open the sliding-glass door.”
That fazed her. “But it was locked.”
“Yep. Don’t worry, your door doesn’t have a scratch on it.”
“But how did you open it?”
“Trade secret. I used to work summers for my uncle. He owns a glass shop.” Chad shrugged those wonderful shoulders of his. Washed in sunlight and charm, he looked like a wholesome, decent man. “You really should get a dowel for the track. That will keep burglars from doing the same thing I did.”
“Great. I feel so much better knowing that.”
His eyes had a nice, friendly sparkle to go along with his killer grin. The more handsome a guy, the more trouble he was. Chris had been gorgeous and look how that had turned out. She hated to generalize, because her sisters had all married hunky men and they were as happy as clams. She was happy for them.
She didn’t have that kind of luck.
“I locked the sliding door, so you don’t have to worry about it.” He loped down the steps.
“So that’s it? You’re just walking off, your good deed done, and now you’re going back to your unpacking?”
“That was my plan.” He turned around and backed down the walk. “I don’t want to make you late. You’re obviously on your way somewhere. A girl like you has a boyfriend, doesn’t she?”
“And what exactly is that supposed to mean?” She didn’t want him to know the truth, so she gave him The Eye, as her brother called it. “A girl like me?”
“Pretty. Together. Smart.”
“You are a shameless flatterer. My last boyfriend talked like you at first. He was good with compliments, but not so good with kindness and respect and following his Christian values, or so I found out.”
“Hey, I don’t want to pay for his mistakes.” He came to a stop at the curb and winked at her. “I’m perfectly innocent.”
“No guy is perfectly innocent.”
“Well, you got me there, but I’m living my faith. My Christian values.” He wanted to be clear about that. She’s all right, he thought, and he liked that she made him laugh. He’d had a long day and a tough one. It felt good to smile. “You let me know if you need anything else. I’ll be happy to come to your rescue.”
“Like that’s a comforting thought. I’m trying to stay out of trouble.” She had happy eyes and a mouth that said she smiled often.
He liked that, too.
She was really lovely with those delicate features and heart-shaped face and the sleek, dark fall of her brown hair. It was hard to miss the gold cross dangling on a fine chain around her neck.
Faith was important to him, too. “You haven’t answered my question. If you’re not going on a date, then where are you headed?”
“And that’s your business, because…?” She arched one slim eyebrow at him, as if she were taking careful note of his personality flaws.
He wasn’t fooled. Not one bit. He’d been inside her place. Sure, he’d noticed the cross-stitch that was sitting half-finished on the coffee table, and the Bible and devotional on the kitchen table. He wasn’t snooping, but a guy couldn’t help noticing. It wasn’t as if he could close his eyes and not see anything, right?
“It’s not my business,” he had to admit. “Just curious.”
“Didn’t curiosity get the cat into trouble?” She slipped through the door.
“Who said I wasn’t trouble?”
“Yep, that’s just what I thought about you.” She grabbed her purse and keys and shut the door. “I’m babysitting for my other sister and her husband. They have a date night tonight.”
“That’s nice you do that for her. So family’s important to you.”
“Absolutely. What about you?” She squinted at him. “It’s only fair that you answer a question. How do you know Ephraim?”
“He and I have been summer buddies since we were six.”
“Summer buddies?” she asked with a quizzical look as she turned the dead bolt.
“When my mom and dad wanted to get rid of me for the summer, they sent me to my aunt and uncle’s.” He saw the question forming on her expressive face and kept talking; he tried not to mention his parents if he could help it. Too complicated, too painful, too everything. “Ephraim lived next door to Uncle Calvin. He came over and offered me a Popsicle and the rest, as they say, was history.”
He liked the way she seemed to be in a good mood, even on a day of doom, as she’d claimed. She had the prettiest sparkles in her cinnamon-brown eyes that shimmered with warmth and humor.
“A Popsicle tends to cement the important relationships,” she said. “Especially a grape one.”
He chuckled, his heart just…feeling. He didn’t know how to describe it, only that it was nice. Real nice. “That’s where I’ve been wrong in the past. I neglected to offer a Popsicle.”
“A fatal mistake.”
She was one of those totally organized girls who seemed completely together. Although she was dressed casually, everything was coordinated and that purse she had over her shoulder was no cheap knockoff. His aunt had one almost like it. That, along with her spring-sunshine goodness, made Rebecca McKaslin an awesome combination. She slipped her keys into the outside pocket on her purse and descended the steps like a cool breeze.
He really should go. So why weren’t his feet taking him farther down the walk? “How old are your nieces or nephews?”
“Isn’t it my turn to ask the questions?” She dug her sunglasses out of her purse. “Are you serious about the Bible study group?”
“Wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t.”
“Why aren’t you going to Ephraim’s group?” She slipped the glasses on, pausing to study him hard for any obvious flaws. She really wanted to find some flaws.
“I have obligations on Friday evenings.”
“A girlfriend?” Now, why did she ask that? She was teasing him, because he’d been just a tad curious about her. She leaned through the doorway to grab the bag she always carried to church with her. Inside was the flyer with all the group’s specifics. She handed it to him, realizing he was blushing.
Blushing. She didn’t know guys did that. Maybe the decent ones did. What did she know?
“Uh—” He looked flustered. “Currently, no.”
“See how personal that question can be?”
“I do. You’re making a point.”
“Yes. You are a smart guy.” She decided that a guy whose ears turned pink when asked about a girlfriend had to be okay. “Will I see you there?”
“Count on it.” He waved the flyer for confirmation.
“Good, our group has been losing numbers lately. A lot of us graduated last May. Well, I’ve got a pizza waiting.”
“Pizza. Sounds good. Is it for your niece? Nephew?”
“One of each.”
“Must be nice to have family.” He joined her on the walk, his gait easy and athletic, his voice amicable.
“It is.” She paused at the end of the walkway, where the sidewalk would take her left to the driveway, where her car was parked. “I don’t know what I’d do without my family. I have one older brother and five older sisters.”
“Sounds like heaven to me. I’m an only kid.”
“Was that a little lonely growing up?”
“Sometimes.”
It was hard not to feel for him. “As a kid, I always had someone looking out for me and someone to do things with. I was hardly ever alone. It’s probably why I like spending so much time alone now.”
“I pretty much had to figure things out for myself when I was little.” He knelt to grab his box of books. It was packed with what looked like mysteries. Though it had to be heavy, he lifted the box with ease.
So he was a serious reader. That didn’t surprise her one bit. He looked nearly perfect standing in the golden brush of the light, with the gentle breeze ruffling his blond hair and an expression of seriousness on his face. Why, she suspected if her sister Ava were to drive up right now she would call him a Mr. Wishable.
Worse, she would probably go on to call him Mr. Right, and there was no way he could be that. Knowing her luck, she had probably missed the boat to Mr. Right and would be forever standing on the dock. “It was good to meet you, Chad Lawson. I’ll see you on Wednesday night.”
“Definitely.” He folded up the flyer and slipped it into his book box. “Have a good time with your niece and nephew.”
“I will. Tyler’s five, he’s total fun, and the two-year-old keeps me on my toes.” Why wasn’t she leaving? You’re late, late, late, Rebecca. So exactly why was she lingering, as if she didn’t want to go? “Good luck with the moving. It’s a special kind of torture. I hope it goes all right.”
“Thanks. I’m lucky that I packed light, but it’s still a pain.”
“Did I say thanks for stopping to help me out? I can’t remember if I did.”
“You did.”
“Good. Forgive me, I’m more scattered than usual. I’m not normally like this. Goodbye, Chad.”
“Bye.” As if she was ever scattered at all, he thought, dismissing her self-deprecating sense of humor. He watched her saunter over to her little red Honda parked in the driveway in front of her closed garage door. The car suited her, zippy and fun and cute all at once.
Yep, she was real nice.
The sun’s heat beat down on him, and he realized it was getting late and the box he was holding was getting heavier. He resisted the urge to give Rebecca one last look as her car backed slowly out of the driveway. But as he headed for his apartment, he thought of her.
Chapter Two
“Rebba?”
Madison wobbled into the TV’s glare. The little girl was pure sweetness with her light brown curls, big wide eyes and pixie’s face. Tonight she wore her pink-and-purple Cinderella pajamas and a sleepy frown.
Rebecca was out of the chair in a second, scooping up the warm, sleep-snuggly toddler into her arms. “What is it, princess?”
“Thirsty.” A huge yawn, and then both little arms wrapped around Rebecca’s neck. “Where’s Mommy?”
“She’s still out with your daddy.” Rebecca started for the kitchen. “Let’s get you that water and put you right back to bed.”
“I want Daddy.”
“I know you do, princess.” She opened the cupboard door with one hand, found the pink cup with the princesses on it and turned on the tap. The water was nice and cold and she filled the cup partway. “He’ll be home before you know it.”
“Ye-ah.” Madison sighed, clearly missing her parents. Hers was a loving and secure world. Heaven knew that Danielle and her husband, Jonas, did everything they could to ensure that for their kids.
As she held the cup to her niece’s lips and tipped it so she could drink in dainty little sips, Rebecca had to wonder. Would her life have turned out differently if her biological dad had been a good man? She had been wondering this a lot lately. The breakup and the man Chris turned out to be was still troubling her.
She’d been younger than Madison was now when her real dad had walked out on the family after beating her mom so badly that she’d been in the hospital for weeks.
Poor Mom. That time was nothing but a scary, hazy blur to Rebecca. She had been too young to understand, but she could see her big sister Danielle standing between her and their rage-filled father. Nearly a lifetime later, she could still hear her mom’s broken sobs and the wounded sound she made, lying so still in the corner.
A year later, Mom had married John McKaslin, changing their lives for the better forever. John—who she thought of as her real dad—was a great blessing. Since the day she’d stepped foot in his house, she’d been as safe and secure as Madison was now. She hadn’t gained just a great dad, but also a big brother and loving older sisters who couldn’t have been more wonderful to her.
“Done?” she asked when the sleepy toddler pushed the cup away.
“I want Minnie.” She rubbed her eyes with both little fists.
“She’s probably in bed waiting for you.” Rebecca set the cup on the counter and gave her niece a smacking kiss on her plump cheek. “Want to go see?”
“O-o-o-kaay.” Madison yawned again.
What a cutie. Rebecca held her little niece snug, weaving through the dark house by memory. As she passed by her nephew’s bedroom door, she caught sight of him asleep in his bed. He and his dog were faintly graced by the glow of his night-light. He was a cutie, too. She padded down the hall.
Madison gave a tired whine at the sight of her bunny tucked neatly under the covers. Minnie’s head and ears were dark against the pale pillowcase.
“See?” Rebecca lowered the child into her bed. “I told you Minnie was waiting for you.”
Eyes drooping, head bobbing, Madison reached out to gather her favorite stuffed animal into her chubby arms, snuggled close and was half-asleep before her head touched the pillow. Rebecca smoothed the girl’s flyaway curls, and Madison sort of smiled through her sleepiness, slipping away to sweeter dreams.
Yep, Rebecca thought as her heart filled. A total cutie.
It was a pleasure to tuck the little girl’s covers around her and tiptoe to the door. The throbbing blue light from the distant TV made the hallway feel surreal, as if this was but a dream, a vision of what she’d always wanted for herself.
Those things were so far away now. Okay, it was her decision to institute a No Man policy and that was great because it kept her heart safe. But at the same time it felt as if time were slipping by. She’d been so busy racing to grow up, enjoying her college years and then hoping her relationship with Chris would lead her to a life like this.
It hadn’t, and now she felt empty in the pit of her stomach and in the chambers of her heart. Even in her soul, she felt alone.
She wasn’t alone. She knew that as surely as she knew there was a floor at her feet. Her faith was rock solid, her family an unbreakable support and yet she felt hollow, as if she were missing a great part of herself.
No, she corrected, she was missing these dreams of children and marriage, of home and a future.
She checked again on Tyler, who slept on his side facing the wall so all she could see of him was tufts of brown hair and his Dalmatian asleep on the foot of his bed. Lucky lifted his head a few inches and his tail thumped against the blankets as if to say, “No worries. I’m keeping watch.”
She wandered back to the TV, hardly noticing the hospital drama flashing across the screen. The sound was low so as not to disturb the kids, and she could barely hear the dialogue. She settled onto the couch as her mind drifted back over the day. She resisted the urge to go dig in her bag to check her cell phone, with the ringer off. She guessed that Chris had probably called a half-dozen times. Should she deal with it now, or wait until later?
Later, she thought as she grabbed the remote and hit the off button. Definitely later. What was really calling her name was the triple-chocolate cream pie Danielle had left for dessert. Whatever the trouble, didn’t chocolate always make it better?
She was plating a nice creamy piece when she heard the garage door crank open. It sounded as though Danielle and Jonas were home. Sure enough, a few minutes later the two of them came through the door. The security system chimed their arrival. It was simple to tell by the happiness on her sister’s face that they’d had a good time. Jonas, leaning tiredly on his cane, gave her a nod of thanks, a kind “good-night” and headed down the hall, no doubt to check on the kids.
Danielle set her purse on the end of the counter. “Would you mind cutting me one of those?”
“I’ve got a plate right here.” She knew her sister well and her weakness for chocolate. “You didn’t have dessert tonight?”
“Dinner was so good, I didn’t save any room.” Dani headed to the fridge and took out a gallon of milk. “The movie was great, though. It was about a pair of cops. Jonas really enjoyed all the action.”
“He misses his old job.” In an instant, things could change in a person’s life. Life happened and sometimes it was never the same. Take Jonas for example. Over a year ago, he’d been doing his job as a state trooper and got shot on a routine traffic stop. His life and Dani’s had taken a new direction they never expected.
“Yes,” Danielle answered sadly. “He loves staying home with the kids and being a full-time dad, but he misses being a trooper, too.”
God had been gracious. Jonas was doing fine and their family was stronger than ever, but it hadn’t been easy. Life gave a person a certain amount of battle scars. Although she hadn’t gone through anything nearly as traumatic as Jonas had, she had her own emotional scars.
What she’d gone through with Chris and his final battle, as she thought of it, had been life changing for her. And if her big brother, Spence, hadn’t come to her rescue, she hated to think what would have happened. She wondered where she would be right now if she hadn’t met Chris.
“You seem a million miles away.” Danielle took two glasses down from the cupboard and began filling them. “You get that troubled look when Chris has been bothering you. Has he been calling?”
“He’s started up again. You know how he does.”
“I do. Have you answered?”
“No, and I’m avoiding his calls because I know he wants to start things up again.”
“And you don’t want that, right?”
“Right. Don’t worry. I’m through with Chris. I’m through with men. I’m going to be just fine.” She gave a generous piece of pie to her sister. “Does Jonas want any?”
“No. He’s pretty tired and besides, he’s a gem about leaving us girls to talk.”
“He’s pretty great to you.” Rebecca took two forks from the drawer.
“I know. I thank God for him every day.” Warm and loving and totally devoted to her husband—that was Danielle. “You didn’t answer my question, you know.”
“Sorry. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.” And there it was, what she’d been trying not to think about all evening: her mess of a life.
“We can talk about it. Maybe I can help. Or maybe we can try to brainstorm. There have got to be some great single men out there that you can date.” Danielle carried the milk back to the fridge, and in the wan light from inside the door she looked exceptionally pale and tired.
There had been a lot on her shoulders when Jonas had first been hurt, but now that he was much better, Danielle was back to her old self. Except for tonight.
“Forget my problems,” she said. “I should be asking you if you’re okay.”
“I’m fine.” Danielle closed the fridge door and waved away her concern.
“You don’t look like you’re getting enough sleep or something. I work until four tomorrow, but I can come by after and help out. Maybe make dinner for you?”
“That’s great of you, Becca, but it’s not necessary.” She took both glasses to the table. “I’m just a little tired. I’m still adjusting to working full-time is all.”
“Are you sure?” She followed her sister, plates in hand.
“Positive.” Danielle had taken a management job at their family’s bookstore. Finances were thin with Jonas on long-term disability. “Do me a favor and don’t tell anyone, okay? You know how the family is. No one needs to get all worried about me. It’s nothing a little chocolate won’t cure.”
She knew how that felt. She slipped the plates on the table and took one of the chairs across from her sister. It was nice; she loved Danielle’s home. There were pictures on the walls and toys clustered in the corners and love that filled each room as unmistakable as air.
This is what she’d always wanted for herself. A stable marriage. A warm, loving home. A couple of kids to look after. She’d always just wanted to be a mom. Nothing else. She’d gone to college because her parents had expected it and her grandmother had been so proud of her.
But she’d had a hard time deciding on what to really do with her life. All of her friends seemed to know—they were biology majors, business majors, psych majors. It seemed everyone was so focused, except for her. Now she was through with a graduate degree and she still felt as if she were wandering through life.
Letting Chris go had meant letting go of her dreams. It had been the right thing to do. Absolutely. But just because she’d given her worries and her wishes up to God didn’t mean she now knew what to do with her life in the meantime. Her future was one blank slate. She was afraid that she would spend too many years alone, wishing for what she did not have. Worse, she didn’t know what to do with her life now, without those dreams.
“You look pretty serious,” Danielle said around a bite of pie. “Want to talk about it?”
Yes. No. Too personal. Rebecca took a bit of creamy pie so she didn’t have to answer. She wanted to tell Dani about meeting Chad, but if she did, then her sister would so get the wrong idea. Best to keep quiet. It was strange how just thinking about him, about how calm and steady he seemed and how kind his eyes, made her feel better.
Well, maybe he was one of the good guys, she thought, and how nice would that be? It was always helpful to have a decent, nice guy living next door. He’d been a definite knight in shining armor. You never know, she might need that again sometime. Or, better yet, she might be able to return the favor.
She took a sip of milk. “I so don’t want to talk about my problems. Tell me how your evening went.”
“It was wonderful.” Danielle lit up. “Jonas and I had the best time. We went to the museum and looked at dinosaurs.”
“Didn’t you two take the kids there about a month ago?”
“Yes. And the kids got to see everything while Jonas and I were watching the kids.” Dani laughed happily. “Jonas remembered that every time I wanted to stop and look at something, Madison had a tantrum, bless her. She was simply so excited by the displays and the people. Oh, and she had been wearing her newest mermaid princess outfit. I had my hands full trying to keep up with her and keeping her in a good mood.”
“So Jonas took you back on a date night.” Rebecca couldn’t help sighing. Jonas was definitely one of the good guys, too. See, in the long run, the women in her family had a good history of finding the right kind of men, the kind you could count on. Maybe she wouldn’t always have to have a No Man policy. Maybe one day far down the road, when her heart was ready to trust again, God would find someone for her. She had to hope that she wasn’t marked by her early years, or the painful, bad relationship with Chris.
Have faith, she told herself and took another bite of pie. The chocolate had helped. By the time she pulled into her driveway, she was totally feeling better.
There was a small shadow sitting on her lit front porch. She squinted into the twilight shadows and stopped the car. Why, it looked as if someone had laid a stick in front of her door. No, not a stick. She left the engine idling and stepped into the warm evening winds. A dowel.
A handwritten note was taped to it, bold script on a ripped piece of notebook paper. To keep you safe and sound.
She grimaced inwardly. How was she going to keep from liking him now? Chad Lawson was definitely one of the good guys.
It was morning, and Chad had a long list of things to get done for the day. He pondered that list as he folded the top of the cereal box and stuck it in the cupboard. Sure, he had practical things to get done, like showing up for the first day of his new job on time. Run a few errands on the way home from work. But he had one less-than-practical item on that list, and that was to find out more about his lovely neighbor, Rebecca McKaslin.
Ephraim would know. Chad grabbed the carton out of the fridge. Whatever he did, he had to bring her up casually, otherwise his esteemed roommate would leap to conclusions—premature ones. He poured milk over his breakfast cereal. He had learned to be cautious in relationships. It was best to start off slow. Whatever he did, he had to act as though gorgeous, nice-looking Rebecca was no big deal.
He was just curious. That was all. Nothing wrong with that, right? He closed the milk’s top and returned it to the refrigerator, not quite sure what he was feeling. Definite curiosity, he decided as he shut the door and went digging through the nearest drawer for a spoon—he was in luck. There was one clean one left.
He shoveled cereal into his mouth, leaning with his back against the counter. Rebecca. What would she think about him if she knew his truths? Would she be understanding? Or would she do her best to avoid him?
The shame of his past mistakes still stung, and it was a harsh sting. There was nothing he could do about that. The past couldn’t be changed—not even God could manage that. All Chad could do was his best with today. To keep making the right choices, which he’d been doing just fine for a long time, now. Living the right way was a lifelong commitment, one he took seriously.
What were the chances that a nice, great girl would see that?
He feared he already knew. Probably close to zilch. He had to try anyway. Asking a few questions wouldn’t hurt, right? And he was only curious, that was all. At least, that was his story and he was sticking to it. “Hey, Ephraim.”
“Yo.” Ephraim looked up from his morning newspaper. Sunlight streamed through the window onto the secondhand dinette set and winked off his nearly empty glass of orange juice. “You need directions to the church?”
“Nope. I swung by there last night.” This morning was the start of his new job—volunteer all the way—and that’s what he ought to be thinking about. But was he?
Nope. Not a chance. Chad chewed and swallowed. How did he best go about sounding casual? “I met the girl next door.”
“Oh, Elle?”
Whoever Elle was, she made Ephraim jerk up from his paper. Interesting. “Nope. Must be the neighbor on the other side.”
“Oh, sure. Rebecca.” Ephraim’s attention went back to the business section. “She moved in a few months ago. I think she’s renting the place from her sister. That’s about all I know. She’s a graduate student, in, ah…can’t remember what she told me. English, maybe?
“Why, you interested?” Ephraim turned the page with a newspapery crinkle.
Chad shrugged. Since he valued honesty, silence was the best policy. He polished off his cereal, slurped the dregs of the milk and loaded the bowl and spoon into the dishwasher. Just in time, too, judging by the clock. “I’m outta here.”
“Want to swing by for tacos tonight?” Ephraim’s attention hadn’t returned to his paper. “I highly recommend Mr. Paco’s Tacos for their nachos.”
“See you there around five?” Chad grabbed his keys from the counter. His sneakers squeaked on the linoleum as he headed to the door.
“She’s got a boyfriend.” Ephraim’s words brought him to a screeching halt.
“A boyfriend?” Chad pounded back into the kitchen. Hadn’t Rebecca said she didn’t have one? He distinctly remembered it.
“Or, at least she had one.”
Yep, that was it. He had to remind himself to act casual. “She might have mentioned that.”
“The guy wasn’t so nice. Now I remember.” Ephraim folded up his newspaper, as if he were planning to take it to work with him. “There was an incident a while back. Her big brother—and I’m talking this guy is big—came and hauled the boyfriend out into the parking lot and held him until the cops came.”
“You mean, like he tried to hurt her?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. It was a bad scene. It’s too bad, too, because she’s a nice girl. A great neighbor. Quiet, and I hardly ever see her.”
All bonuses to quiet, bookish Ephraim. Chad’s guts tightened up. He got a bad feeling, and he didn’t like it. He loathed guys who thought it was okay to control women. Sure, he knew what it was like to make a mistake, but he’d been fifteen at the time and he had been hurt the most. Not that that was justification—he’d learned his lesson, he’d paid for his crime and he was a different man now. “She wasn’t hurt, was she?”
“No, I would have remembered that.” Ephraim stood and lifted his briefcase from the floor, where it leaned against the wall already packed for the workday. “She didn’t deserve that. No one is nicer. My car was in the shop a while back and she let me ride with her to church and even dropped me off at work and school for a few days.”
That sounded like his impression of her. Chad juggled the keys in his hand, considering. He didn’t dare say more. It was best to go slow on this, get to know her more, figure out if he had a chance at all with her first. He’d had a few hard rejections over the past three years, so it wasn’t as if he were going to ask her out or anything. Maybe it was worth getting up his courage to get to know her. He’d pray on it.
Not that he wanted Ephraim, or anyone to know how he felt about things. He headed to the door. “I’ll see ya tonight.”
“Sure.”
When the garage door chugged open, he was greeted with rain falling from a slate sky. Not the best weather for day camp. As he navigated the short distance to the gray stone church on a pleasant tree-lined street, he sure hoped Pastor Marin had a lot of indoor activities planned or his first day as a counselor would be a challenge. Not that he minded challenges, he thought as he pulled into the lot and into the first available space he came to.
Well, this was it. Rain dappled him as he locked up. The doors to one of the auxiliary buildings behind the church were opened wide to welcome the day campers in out of the weather. He caught sight of two women standing beneath the awning, with clipboards in hand.
One of them, squinting at him in surprise, was his gorgeous next-door neighbor, Rebecca McKaslin.
Chapter Three
Rebecca couldn’t believe her eyes. Chad Lawson strode through the gray sheets of rain in the parking lot like a hero through the mist. He seemed untouched by the downpour and unruffled by the wind. Something about him made him appear extraordinary. Simply from seeing him, from having him near, the stress of the morning slid from her shoulders like rain from the roof.
No one, except her family members, had ever made her feel so calm.
Marin, the church’s youth pastor, leaned close, so her voice wouldn’t carry. “Here’s someone I want you to meet, now that you’re a free and single woman.”
Uh-oh. “Why does everyone think I need to start dating?”
“Because you deserve a great guy to love you, that’s why. And speaking of one—”
Rebecca rolled her eyes. Good grief. Marin’s newlywed happiness had sadly affected her brain. She loved her pastor, but Marin was looking at relationships through rose-colored glasses. And why wouldn’t she? She was blissfully happy. All it took was one look to see it.
Good for her, right? Rebecca firmly denied any wistful feelings. Some people were just especially blessed in the love department. How could they understand someone who wasn’t?
Visions of Marin’s future matchmaking efforts flashed before Rebecca’s eyes. Time to do damage control before that could possibly happen. She had to be clear, firm and assertive. “I’m not interested.”
“That sounds like a snap decision to me. Maybe you want to think about it.” Marin looked so sure about that.
And why wouldn’t she be? Any single woman in her right mind would want to think about Chad Lawson. And wasn’t that just the problem? She had a No Man policy. It was safer. It was smarter. “I refuse to think about it.”
“You never know, he could be the right man for you.”
“Yeah, but more likely he isn’t. No matter how great he is, because that’s my luck.” Rebecca rolled her eyes. Just what she needed, her pastor, who was also one of her sister’s best friends trying to set her up. “I’m on a vacation from romance of any kind.”
“A vacation? I’ve never heard of such a thing.”
“Like you didn’t date for a long time?”
“Yeah, well it was different for me. I wasn’t on vacation as much as I couldn’t catch anyone. Until my Jeremy came along, of course. Just because you split up with Chris and it didn’t end well, that doesn’t mean you should rule out dating forever and ever—”
“And this coming from the woman who dubbed the different phases of dating, one of them being, the doom phase.”
“That was before I met Jeremy.”
“Excuses, excuses. Believe me, I’m sure about this. Now he’s coming closer, so—” Rebecca didn’t know how to say it kindly. “No more romance talk. We’ve got kids coming in a few minutes.”
“Sure. Fine. I can take a hint.” Marin was smiling a little too widely to be believable.
What was she going to do with everyone? What did she have to do to convince them that she really was fine? Well, as fine as she could be?
Rebecca focused on her clipboard, aware of the slight slap of Chad’s steps coming closer. Marin meant well, sure, but she had forgotten what it was like to be single and wish things were different. To wish you, yourself, were different.
She managed what she hoped was a bright welcome. “Chad. I’m pretty shocked to see you bright and early on a Monday morning. You’re not a member, are you?”
“I’ve been here a couple of times when I was visiting my aunt and uncle. They attend the earliest service. I could barely hold my eyes open.”
“I try to avoid that one if I can or I’m constantly yawning, no matter how hard I try not to.” There she went, yakking on with him again. He was incredibly easy to talk to. “If you’re looking for Pastor Michaels, you’ve just missed him. He left for a meeting.”
“No, I’m where I’m supposed to be. Hi, Marin. I’m here on time, reporting for duty.”
For duty? The clipboard slipped from her hands and hit the concrete with a stunned clatter. How embarrassing. She knelt to retrieve it but Chad was already there, rescuing it with capable-looking hands. Now, why did she notice something like that?
“Here you go.” His smile was genuine. There was that sense of calm again, a steady light in his dark blue eyes. “Are you one of the volunteers, too?”
“No, they actually pay me to have fun with the kids all day.” She took the clipboard he offered her. “Thanks. Again.”
“No problem.”
Why were her knees shaky when she rose? That was a good question. Rebecca straightened the pen, still clipped to the board, needing to look at something other than Chad. She could feel his gaze on her like damp on the wind. Surely he was just surprised to see her, that was all.
Marin was grinning ear to ear. “Since it seems that you two know each other, Chad, take this clipboard and help check in the kids when they start arriving. I’m going to leave you in Rebecca’s able hands.”
“I don’t know about able.” Rebecca shook her head. That Marin, she was always so optimistic and complimentary. Chad was so going to get the wrong idea. “I’m lucky you guys put up with me.”
Marin chuckled as she walked away. “Don’t listen to her, Chad. She’s invaluable around here.”
Rebecca rolled her eyes. “Marin is the invaluable one. I’m just hard to get rid of.”
“So, have they tried and you just wouldn’t leave?” Chad winked at her.
Charming, absolutely charming and she really should not be noticing that. “I’ve been here every summer since I was fifteen. I started volunteering in the church’s day care and it worked into this.”
“You’ve been here ever since? That’s some serious commitment. They must really like you.”
“I’m the one who really likes it here. The kids are great.” She really was surprised how she was just herself around him. It was refreshing. Oh, the dowel. She’d forgotten to thank him. “I found the dowel on my porch. I really appreciate it.”
“No problem. I had to stop by the hardware store anyway to pick up a few things.” He gave a humble shoulder shrug. “It was no trouble.”
“It was still very thoughtful.” Rebecca couldn’t believe it. Chad Lawson just kept seeming nicer and nicer. “How about you? Why are you here?”
“Why not? My aunt told me about all the programs here and I thought I would get involved. I’m planning on going to seminary after I finish at the university.”
“Montana State? I go there. What are you studying?”
“I’m transferring there. I’m majoring in both religion and psychology. I hope to have a job like Marin’s one day. What’s your major?”
Here’s where it got tough. It was the big question everyone wanted to know. She glanced up to see if any kids were running up to interrupt—and rescue her—yet, but no, there was nothing but the steady patter of the rain. “I just finished my master’s degree in English and I’m currently debating going back for my Ph.D.”
“Wow. That’s great. What kind of job are you going to get with that?”
Yep, there it was. The million-dollar question. “No idea. I just like going to school.”
At least that made him smile, and she got to see his friendly, handsome grin again. The sight was enough to make her smile. While talking with him, it was easy to forget how the big plans she had for her life weren’t working out the way she thought. God seemed to be leading her in another direction entirely, but where, exactly? “I’ve never been interested in having a big career.”
“You never wanted to grow up and be anything?”
She studied him. It wasn’t as if there was anything to lose by telling him the stark truth. “I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. Maybe that’s not politically correct these days, or easy in this economy, but I just loved growing up the way I did. I wanted to be like my mom. To just be happy spending my time taking care of the people I love.”
And before he could panic, thinking she was looking for a man to marry and support her, as Chris had finally accused her, she went right on with the truth. “I’m starting to see that’s not going to happen for me. That’s why I might keep going on with school. I have to believe the good Lord knows where I’m going. Although that sounds easier than it is.”
“I know, believe me.” Chad resonated kindness. Still masculine and strong, calm and reassuring, but there was a goodness to him. He was more than nice; he was empathetic and mature. “That’s faith. To keep putting one foot in front of the other when it feels like you’re in the pitch dark, trusting the Lord to guide you in the right direction.”
That was it exactly. “You sound as if you’re speaking from personal experience.”
“I am.”
“I don’t mean to pry, but did it work out all right for you, walking in the dark and trusting?”
“So far so good. I’ll let you know when I get where God is leading me.”
“It’s to a very good place, I’m sure.”
“I am, too.” He smiled. He was seeing more in her by the minute. She was grounded and faithful and real.
Before he could ask her anything more, a red minivan pulled to a stop at the curb. The side door slid open and two grade-school-aged kids leaped out, backpacks in hand. They shouted goodbye to their mom behind the wheel, who waited, windshield wipers flapping as the girl and boy splashed their way up the walkway.
Looked as though the workday had started.
Talk about a busy day. With so many kids split up into age-appropriate activities, it was a mystery to him how he kept seeing Rebecca all through the morning.
Not that either of them had a single second to do more than say hi—he was with the older boys and she was with the older girls—but it was nice seeing a friendly face. Other than Ephraim and his aunt and uncle, he didn’t know anyone else in all of Bozeman, unless it was Marin, whom he’d met when he’d signed up as a volunteer. So at noontime, when he spotted Rebecca sitting at a table in the dining area with her lunch spread before her, he headed straight for her, tray and all.
“Mind if I sit with you?”
She startled, turning to look at him over her shoulder with her wide honest eyes. The morning of activities had tangled her long locks of brown hair and she seemed glad to see him. “Are you run ragged yet?”
“Yep. I’m beat and the day’s half-over.” He plopped his plate on the table, keeping an eye on the tableful of twelve-year-olds he was in charge of. The boys were snarfing up pizza and slurping down lemonade as if they were refilling their tanks, recharging for the rest of the afternoon.
Joy. He slid onto the bench near to her and took the time to bow his head for a quick grace. He looked up to find her watching him and waiting for him to finish what he’d been saying. “I’m not sure I can make it through the rest of the day. I’m short on stamina.”
“You? Hardly. You look like the type who is in great cardiovascular health, unlike me who avoids the gym with a passion.”
He blinked. Wow. He had just discovered that it was impossible to think and look into her pretty eyes at the same time. He did his best to keep his thoughts from scrambling. “You don’t like sports?”
“Sure. It’s exercising I don’t like. Treadmills. Weight machines and reps.”
“I like the discipline of it.”
“Oh, you’re one of those.” She studied him over the rim of her cup. “I’m surprised you’re eating pizza and not soybeans or something.”
He caught the amused sparkle in her eyes. “I’m not a total health nut. I used to be, but I missed the pizza. And Popsicle treats. Maybe I should have stuck with the health food and I would have more stamina. Those kids have worn me out.”
“Marin should have warned you. You’ll get used to it. You look like you’re enjoying your first day here.”
“I’m having a blast, but I’m feeling my age.”
That made her chuckle. “You can’t be any older than I am.”
“Sure, but those kids are putting me to shame. I’m twenty-four, by the way.”
“You’re a year older than I am.”
Here it came. He might as well say it before she—who had completed a master’s program—did. “You’re doing the math, aren’t you, and wondering why I’m still working for my bachelor’s.”
“Maybe a little.”
“I was a slow starter.”
“I doubt that. I saw you playing basketball with the kids. You moved pretty fast.”
She saw that? Cool. He took that as a sign. “Sure, when it comes to b-ball. But other things have taken me a little longer to get right.”
“I know how that is.” She smiled again, and the sweetness just beamed around her like sunlight. She leaned a little closer to him, as if interested in his answer. “Did you have a hard time deciding what to do with your life, too?”
“For a long time.” Now would be the right time to be totally honest, to just come clean. He opened his mouth to tell the truth, but the words lodged somewhere deep in his chest, near his heart.
If she knew what he’d done and who he used to be, what would she think? Would she scoot away from him? Try to avoid him the next time she saw him? Would the friendliness in her luminous eyes fade forever, because she saw him differently?
He couldn’t say the words. He didn’t know if he was afraid to, or if they were just stuck between his ribs and wouldn’t budge.
“What’s so hard,” she said quietly, “is when you think you know where you’re going, but life throws you a serious roadblock.”
“Been there.” Again, he thought about his life before he’d been saved. About the path he’d been on. Thank God for roadblocks. He took a bite of pizza. “I used to have things all figured out. When I was fifteen, thought I knew it all and believe me, that wasn’t a good thing. I was making tons of poor choices.”
“Who doesn’t when we’re teenagers?” She took another sip of lemonade and put the cup down thoughtfully.
“You? Make mistakes? I don’t believe it.”
“Now you’re being too kind.” She couldn’t look at him, but glanced at the table of twelve-year-old girls chattering together or talking on their phones. “I’ve made so many mistakes, mostly because I couldn’t see with my own eyes what was wrong. Even when I was warned.”
Chad wondered about what Ephraim said this morning, about Rebecca’s former boyfriend. Sympathy tugged at his heart. “That was my problem, too. I had friends telling me that what I was doing was going to catch up with me. That I was hanging with some other kids I didn’t think were so bad. I didn’t listen.”
“I understand. I’ve been there. I just couldn’t see.” She shrugged, jostling her long locks of hair, looking sad.
So sad. He couldn’t help but be affected. He wished he knew her well enough to know what to do to comfort her. It wasn’t right that she’d been hurt by a bad relationship, although he knew, too, what that was like. “Been there. I was seeing this girl, I thought she was fun and different from the kind of sheltered life I led.”
“It was a bad relationship for you?” Her hand stilled, her piece of cheese pizza an inch above the plate. “Did you know it at the time?”
“Maybe there was that little voice inside me—you know the one—it was telling me to listen. It’s tough to admit, but I just didn’t want to.”
“Did she break your heart?”
“No, she bruised it pretty bad, though. It was my life she broke.” Again, there was the truth right there, but it wouldn’t roll off his tongue. Maybe talking about the past just hurt too much. “Nothing was the same after that, and not in a good way.”
“I’m sorry you had to go through that.” Empathy made her more beautiful. It was easy to see that Rebecca McKaslin had a good heart. She set her half-finished piece of pizza back on her plate. “After you two had broken up, did you take time off from dating for a while?”
“You might say that. It was a long time until I had my life in order before I even tried dating again. That didn’t go well.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. See, it was different for me. I didn’t know the Chris everyone else did.” If only she was able to forget the year she’d met him. They’d been high school sweethearts. She’d gotten numb about a lot of things concerning the breakup, but it hurt to remember. It hurt to look back.
She’d made too many mistakes. Mistakes she regretted. “I was seventeen when the coolest guy in high school asked me to accompany him to one of his church functions. He went to a church across town, and when I learned he was a Christian, too, I was so thrilled. He was the captain of both the football and the baseball teams. He went to state three times.”
“Sounds like a guy who had everything going for him.”
She nodded. Chris had been just everything wonderful in her eyes. “He was fun and funny and he just seemed to take over my quiet life. It was like the sun came out one day when it had never shone before.”
Chad watched her, nodding slowly, as if he were starting to see.
Why she went on, she couldn’t say. She was a private person. She didn’t even talk about this stuff with her sisters. Maybe it was Chad’s dependable goodness. Maybe it was because she’d kept this bottled up for so long. “Sure, Chris had problems, but who doesn’t? Nobody’s perfect. He swept me off my feet and fell in love with me, and that was an answered prayer. It was all I ever dreamed of.”
“Sounds like you still care about this guy.”
“No. Yes. Not in the way that you think. Things didn’t go…well in the end. And that pretty much ended it for me. But that doesn’t mean that it’s easy. The hurt is all tangled up with the good stuff and the bad stuff.” She squeezed her eyes shut, as if looking in instead of out. “Love is complicated. When it ends, it’s even more so.”
She was a soft touch with a marshmallow center. He could just see how she must have felt. It would be easy to judge, easy to measure out what had happened in black-and-white. But he’d learned the hard way that life wasn’t like that, that she was right. Everyone had problems, most people did their best, and when relationships didn’t work out, the ending of them hurt like nothing else.
He could see how affable she was. Hers was a goodness that he would guess didn’t come and go, but remained even when the going got tough. She was no holiday Christian, and she was no fair-weather friend, either. It was his guess that she had a big, forgiving heart.
When she opened her eyes, she gave another shoulder shrug. “My sisters tell me that’s part of healing and moving on. But this love thing is painful when it ends.”
“It can be. I think that depends on the two people involved.”
She nodded, as if thinking that over. “I guess.”
“So this guy, he’s the one you were hoping to marry.” When she nodded once, he could see more of what she wasn’t saying. She had been deeply in love with him. She had wanted a future with him. That had to really have hurt her, especially remembering what Ephraim had said. “There went your dreams and life plan with him.”
“Not exactly. That makes me sound as if everything hinged on him. I was just hoping, is all.” It wasn’t sadness on her face so much as regret. She squared her shoulders, and that regret vanished. “And now I’m on a path I didn’t expect to have to turn onto.”
“Maybe it’s a better one.”
“Maybe.” She smiled at him, truly smiled.
Just at that second his heart clicked, and he was in like with her. How about that?
Chapter Four
Rebecca hadn’t taken two steps out the back door toward the parking lot when her cell phone rang. She was relieved it was one of her sisters calling. “Hello?”
“Hey there.” It was Lauren. Together, they were the closest in age and the youngest of the family. “Are you off work?”
“Yep.” What she was doing first, though, was scanning the parking lot for signs of Chad. She saw several other coworkers, whom she waved to as she headed toward her Honda parked in the shade of a giant maple tree, but she didn’t see him. Bummer. “How about you? Did Spence spring you from the joint yet?”
“Our big brother is one formidable boss.” Lauren said the words kindly, with warmth.
“Say no more, Lauren. I completely understand. It sounds like it was a tough day at the ranch.” The ranch, meaning the bookstore where Lauren was working until she found a job in her field.
“You know it.” Lauren had recently finished her degree in business in California and had come home to stay. “Plus, with the reconstruction going on next door, all I did was listen to hammers banging and drills whizzing all day long. Want to meet for a quick bite? Or a slow bite. I really don’t care which.”
“Sure, but no pizza.” She angled through the lot. “I’m pizza-ed out.”
“I need comfort food. Wait, I need Mexi-Fries.”
“Then there’s only one place to go. Mr. Paco’s Tacos.”
“Sounds perfect. I’ll meet you there in ten minutes?”
“It’s a plan.” Rebecca clicked off the call. She had five messages waiting. She hit the recent call list—Chris’s name and home number were at the top. Those messages were probably from him.
Great. She couldn’t ignore him forever, could she? Unless ignoring him was the best solution. Maybe that would make him go away for good. Who knew? She punched her remote and opened her car door. Heat wafted out like poison gas. Not even parking in the shade helped that any.
She eased onto the burning hot seats and turned the engine over. Scorching air breezed out of the vents and she unrolled the windows, waiting for the air-conditioning to cool. Since she was waiting, she might as well look around, right? It wasn’t as if she were really watching for Chad—only to find out how he had survived his first day. It was friendly, that was all.
Her phone gave a little chime. It was a text message from Danielle. She shaded the screen with her hand to read it.
Help!! Can U run errand? Call Kath.
Their oldest sister, the one on bed rest, must need something. She would call and find out. Yes, she typed on the tiny keys. No worries.
Thnx. Dani’s answer was almost instantaneous. I owe U.
It was no trouble at all. She was always happy to help. She took one last look around the lot—she wasn’t watching for Chad, really—and clicked on her seat belt. Since the air was almost cool now, she zapped up the windows and backed out of her space. She caught sight of a tall, broad-shouldered, blond man standing next to Marin’s SUV, talking earnestly with her.
She gave a little honk as she drove by—but it was a cheerful honk. She thought of those voice messages waiting on her phone and her heart felt heavy. It was nice not to have to worry about liking a guy, or dating or being in a relationship. She zipped out of the lot, looking forward to giving Katherine a call, spending some quality time with Lauren and eating nachos until she burst. Thinking of those five messages on her phone, probably all from Chris, she decided that tonight was going to be a man-free zone.
“Yo.” Ephraim nodded a greeting from the drink dispensers where he was filling a large plastic cup with soda. “Dude, we’re in luck. It’s two-fer taco night.”
“Two-fer?”
“Two for the price of one.”
“Oh, got it.” Growing up the way he did, he didn’t have a lot of experience with two-fers. He grinned and got into one of three lines at the order counter. It was a few minutes after five and already the place was packed.
“Order the Mexi-Fries and a side of nachos or you’ll be sorry. I spot a booth. Let me grab it while I can.”
“Okay.” Chad stepped forward in line. He checked out what other people had ordered as they walked away from the counter with their bright blue trays. The food looked fresh and plentiful, and his stomach rumbled. The afternoon had been tough on him. He needed to refuel.
After he’d ordered, paid and filled his cup with root beer, he carried his tray to the booth where Ephraim was reading the paper, waiting for him. He realized he didn’t have any salsa. He must have missed the salsa bar entirely. He wove through the tables toward the front and spotted the stand where ten different sauces and various garnishes separated the ordering area from the eating area. Then he spotted someone else—Rebecca McKaslin.
Wow. Talk about coincidence—or divine intervention. She was standing in line getting ready to order, talking to a woman about her same age. They were quietly laughing together, and this was a different side of Rebecca than he had seen before. She was a little brighter, more relaxed, and as sweetly merry as a dream. She flicked her ponytail over her slender shoulder and moved forward in line. The woman she was with came, too, and they ordered together. Probably a sister, he figured, remembering she had mentioned having several.
Yeah, it must be nice to have a close bond like that. He grabbed a couple of small plastic cups and started ladling salsa. Maybe if he’d had a brother he was close to, he would have had someone he really trusted to have kept him on the right path. Someone to do more constructive things with. It must be really great to have a large family, he thought as he spooned green salsa into another cup.
He tried not to watch Rebecca. He wasn’t a stalker or anything, but his gaze followed her as she carried the tray away from the counter. She looked around, scanning the crowd for an empty table while her sister took the cups to the drink dispensers. Any moment she was going to see him gawking at her. He couldn’t help it apparently, so gathered up the cups and looked up just as she spied him.
“Is this divine intervention or what?” She tossed him a sparkling smile that seemed to light up the room. “Then again, it is two-fer night. Wait until the burrito buffet night. That’s worth the crowd to come and partake.”
“I’ll have to remember that.” He didn’t know what a burrito buffet was, but he intended to find out. “Do you want to sit with us? We have a booth in the back. There’s plenty of room.”
“Since there are no available tables, I’ll take you up on your offer.”
That sounded like an excuse to him. There was an itty-bitty table near the door, but she seemed to be ignoring it. That made him happy enough to joke. “Great. You can even bring your sister along.”
“That’s mighty generous of you.” When she smiled like that, little dimples appeared in her cheeks.
Cute. It was hard not to notice that. He pivoted and balancing the four cups he’d filled, headed down the aisle with her. “As you can see, I survived the first day intact, even if I am stumbling from exhaustion.”
“That’s an exaggeration. I haven’t seen you stumble once.”
“Sure, but it feels that way.”
“Been there.” Rebecca glanced over her shoulder and nodded to her sister. “The first day every summer I come home and crash on the couch. I’m not even sure that I blink as I’m staring into space. So you are way ahead of me.”
“Yeah, I might be still up and walking around and blinking, but only just barely.”
They reached the table. Ephraim looked up from his paper and instantly started to fold it away. “Hey, Rebecca. Good to see you and Lauren. Hi, Lauren.”
“Hi. Oh, I forgot the straws.”
“Nope, I grabbed them with the napkins.” Rebecca slid the tray on the edge of the table but Lauren beat her into the booth, taking the spot across from Ephraim. They immediately started talking about the Bible study they were both in.
“I brought plenty of salsa,” Chad was saying as he sat down, “so we can all share. Or I’ll go up and get more if you want.”
“This will be good, thanks.” She unwrapped the paper on her straw, suddenly feeling a little nervous. Just then her phone began to jingle. She fished it out of the outside pocket on her purse and checked the screen. “Ugh.”
“Chris?” Lauren whipped around to look at the screen, too. “How many times has he called today?”
“This will make number six.”
“He knows you’ve been at work. He’s just doing this to harass you.” Lauren pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes, looking concerned. “I can have Caleb talk to him. It might be a good step to take before you go through with getting a no-contact order.”
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