His Marriage to Remember
Kathie DeNosky
“Is something wrong, Sam?” she asked.
“You tell me, Bria,” he answered. His eyes held hers, and until that moment she hadn’t really understood what it meant to feel as if someone’s piercing gaze went all the way to her soul.
She caught her breath. Had he remembered something? Maybe a fragment about their marriage being in trouble?
“There used to be a time when you loved for me to let you feel how much I want you,” he said. He shook his head. “Now you get jumpy as hell if I get within ten feet of you and try to put as much distance between us as you possibly can.”
She should have known that he would start questioning why she kept sidestepping his advances. “Sam, I …”
He gave her a kiss so tender it brought tears to her eyes. “When we go upstairs to bed, I’m going to hold you until all your worries melt away.”
“I don’t think … that would be a good idea,” she said haltingly.
“I do.”
Dear Reader,
This month I’m thrilled to tell you about my new miniseries, THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE TEXAN. When the foster care system gave up on them as lost causes, six troubled teenage boys were sent to the Last Chance Ranch and the mentoring of rodeo champion Hank Calvert. Using ranch work and rodeo to help them work through their problems, Hank assisted them in overcoming their troubles with the law to grow up to be good, honest, successful men.
In His Marriage to Remember, you’ll meet rodeo stock contractor Sam Rafferty and his wife, Brianna. They are one signature away from being divorced when the dissolution of their marriage has to be put on hold when Sam is injured in a rodeo accident. While Sam recuperates, he and Brianna have the opportunity to examine the problems behind their breakup and decide if a second chance at making their marriage work is worth the risk to their hearts.
So please, hang on and enjoy getting to know the men raised at the Last Chance Ranch. Running with these billionaires will be one wild ride.
All the best,
Kathie DeNosky
About the Author
KATHIE DENOSKY lives in her native southern Illinois on the land her family settled in 1839. She writes highly sensual stories with a generous amount of humor; her books have appeared on the USA TODAY bestseller list and received numerous awards, including two National Reader’s Choice Awards. Kathie enjoys going to rodeos, traveling to research settings for her books and listening to country music. Readers may contact her by e-mailing kathie@kathiedenosky.com. They can also visit her website, www.kathiedenosky.com, or find her on Facebook, www.facebook.com/pages/Kathie-deNosky-Author/278166445536145.
His Marriage
to Remember
Kathie DeNosky
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
A special thank-you to Kathie Brush
for letting me bounce ideas off her and
for making some very interesting cups of coffee.
And to my editor, Stacy Boyd. Thanks for everything.
I look forward to working on many more books
with you.
Prologue
“Hey, Sam! You want to stop gatherin’ daisies over there like some little girl and open that gate?” someone called from the platform behind the chutes.
Cursing himself for letting his mind wander, rodeo-stock contractor Sam Rafferty pulled the gate open to guide the next bull down the channel of steel fence panels into the bucking chutes. He needed to keep his mind on what he was doing and forget about the things in his life he couldn’t control. Otherwise, somebody would end up getting hurt.
His younger brother, Nate, came to stand beside him as they both watched a bull rider climb over the side of one of the chutes and onto the broad back of Bumblebee, the biggest, meanest Brahma in Sam’s string of bucking bulls. Nate’s eyes never left the bull, but Sam could tell his younger brother was gauging his mood and how much he should say.
“Bria going to be here today?” Nate finally asked.
“Yup.”
Neither man’s gaze wavered from the bull and rider.
“You want to talk about it?”
“Nope.” Sam clenched his jaw so hard it wouldn’t have surprised him if he ended up with a couple of cracked teeth as he waited for Nate to question him further.
Apparently sensing that he was treading on thin ice, Nate wisely nodded as he sauntered away. “Good talk, Sam.”
Beyond telling his brothers that he and his wife were getting a divorce, Sam hadn’t talked to anyone about the breakup of his marriage and he wasn’t about to start now. Bria had her reasons for wanting out. He sure as hell didn’t agree with them, but they were important enough to her to walk away from five years of their being together—three of those years being his wife.
When he got the signal from the chute boss, Sam automatically opened the gate again to guide the next bull into the bucking channel. He realized Bria wanted to get the divorce over with so that she could move on with her life, and even if he didn’t agree that ending their marriage was the only answer to their problems, he could respect that. But why did she have to choose this particular weekend to bring the papers by for his signature? She knew this was the one time of year that he and his brothers got together to put on the annual Hank Calvert Memorial Rodeo, honoring the foster father who had taken them in and straightened them out when the system had given up on all of them as lost causes.
Allowing another bull to enter the channel, Sam thought about the man who had taken in six troubled teenage boys and saved them from a life behind bars, or worse yet, an early death. A Champion All-Around Rodeo Cowboy, Hank had ridden in all the rough-stock events and amassed a sizable fortune by the time he retired at the ripe old age of thirty-eight. But instead of spending his winnings on pleasurable pursuits, Hank had started the Last Chance Ranch for troubled boys, because as he had told them time and again, there was no such thing as a lost cause when it came to people. They had the free will to change—to rise above their circumstances and make something better of themselves.
Sam took a deep breath as he thought about the man whose life was cut short way too soon by a massive heart attack. Hank had wisely used ranch work and rodeo to help him and his brothers work through the anger and aggression they felt over the injustices they had suffered in their young lives. He had counseled them, been their mentor and taught them how to be honorable upstanding members of society. He’d encouraged them to stay in school, tutored them when he could, hired someone to do it when it was a subject he knew little about and set up trust funds to help them get a college education. Hank Calvert was directly responsible for making them the men they were today, and they owed the man and his memory more than any of them could ever repay.
That’s why it irritated the hell out of him that Bria had insisted that the divorce papers couldn’t wait one more day. She knew how important this particular rodeo was to him—to all of them. Why did she have to be so damn eager to be rid of him?
Scanning the crowd in the grandstand, his gaze went to the end of the bleachers, then came back to zero in on the auburn-haired woman climbing the steps to the section of seats reserved for the wives and girlfriends of the riders and rodeo personnel. Even with everything that had happened between them—all the angry accusations and painful disappointments—Bria Stanton-Rafferty still took his breath away, still made his heart beat a little faster whenever he saw her. He had a feeling she probably always would.
When their gazes met, his chest tightened and a knot twisted in his gut. They had reached an impasse and he wasn’t going to stand in her way, if ending their marriage was what she really wanted. He cared too much about her to try forcing her to stay in a situation that caused her so much unhappiness.
“Sam!”
“Watch out!”
“Get out of the way, Rafferty!”
The urgent shouts of his brothers and the personnel behind the bucking chutes suddenly broke through his disturbing introspection.
Turning to see why they were so intent on trying to gain his attention, Sam heard the angry bellow at the same time he caught sight of two thousand pounds of pissed-off beef coming at him like a runaway freight train. A big brindle bull had somehow escaped the channel of fence panels and was loose behind the bucking chutes.
With no time to scramble to the top of the fence and nowhere else to go, Sam knew his best hope of avoiding disaster would be to use his hands to try to push off the animal’s head and launch himself to the side. Doing just that, he might have been successful had there been more room. But the close quarters in the section of fence panels prevented him from completely avoiding the bull’s pass and he felt his head collide with the steel gate at the same time he heard a woman’s terrified scream.
Pain shot through his skull with the intensity of a lightning bolt a moment before a dark curtain descended around him. He tried to fight it, tried to keep his eyes open. He needed to reassure Bria, needed to tell her that no matter what happened to him, he wanted nothing but the best for her and for her to be happy. But the throbbing ache in his head was excruciating and closing his eyes, Sam had no choice but to give in and allow himself to sink into the peaceful black abyss of unconsciousness.
One
Standing in the hospital waiting room, Bria wrapped her arms around herself as she tried to chase away the chills. It did no good. In spite of the fact that it was early June in Texas and already extremely warm, she couldn’t seem to stop shivering.
Terror like nothing she had ever known had clawed at her insides as she’d helplessly watched the angry bull slam Sam into the fence, then pummel his limp body repeatedly with its large head. Thankfully, the bull didn’t have horns and therefore Sam hadn’t sustained any puncture wounds, nor had he been stepped on by the massive animal. Nate and Sam’s foster brothers had immediately jumped into action and diverted the bull’s attention as quickly as they could. But it seemed as if they’d all moved in slow motion and took forever to get the beast away from him so the emergency medical crew could move in and take over.
She drew in a shuddering breath. There was no getting around it, she was responsible for Sam’s accident. If she had only waited for another day, another time to bring the divorce papers for him to sign or if he hadn’t seen her and been distracted, she wouldn’t be standing in the waiting room while he underwent tests to see just how badly he was injured.
But the rodeo was only a two-hour drive from her new home in Dallas and she had wanted to get the papers signed and everything finalized before she started her new job as a marketing consultant for one of the major department stores. If she hadn’t run into a traffic jam on the interstate, she would have arrived with plenty of time to get things taken care of and left before the dangerous bull-riding event even started.
Her breath caught on a sob. It didn’t matter why she had been running late or that she had wanted to get on with her life. Sam was the one having to pay the price for her impatience.
“Have you heard anything, Bria?” Nate called from somewhere behind her.
Turning around, she watched Nate and his brothers hurrying down the hall toward the waiting-room entrance. Tall and ruggedly handsome, all five men were cowboys from the top of their wide-brimmed Resistol hats to their scuffed Justin boots. All six of the boys Hank Calvert had fostered had grown up to be extremely wealthy men, but to the outward eye, they were down to earth, hardworking cowboys who passed up designer clothing in favor of chambray shirts and jeans. Nate was Sam’s only biological sibling, but the other four men they called brothers couldn’t have meant more to them if they’d had the same blood flowing through their veins.
“Th-They just took him … to the imaging department … for X-rays and a scan of his head,” she said, unable to keep her voice from cracking.
Nate stepped forward and, putting his arms around her, pulled her to his broad chest. “He’s going to be all right, Bria.”
“Sam’s as tough as nails,” Lane Donaldson added. The same age as Sam, Lane had a master’s degree in psychology that he used quite successfully as a professional poker player. Bria didn’t think she had ever seen the man look less confident.
Ryder McClain, the most easygoing of the group, nodded. “Sam’s probably already being a pain in the butt about getting out of here.”
“I hope all of you are right,” she said, feeling helpless.
“Can I get you something, Bria? A cup of coffee or some water?” T. J. Malloy asked solicitously. He was the most thoughtful of the brothers, so she wasn’t the least bit surprised that T.J.’s concern extended to her.
“Get some coffee for all of us, T.J.,” Nate commanded, without waiting for her to respond.
“I’ll go with you to help carry everything,” Jaron Lambert offered, turning to follow T.J. Stopping, he turned back to ask, “Do you want anything else, Bria. Maybe something to eat?”
“Thanks, Jaron, but I’m not hungry. I doubt that I could eat anything even if I was,” she said, thankful to have Sam’s brothers with her. They treated her like a sister and she was going to miss them terribly once the divorce was final and she was no longer part of their family.
“Come on and sit down,” Nate said, guiding her over to a bank of chairs along the far wall. When she sat, he asked, “Did Sam regain consciousness in the ambulance on the way over here?”
She shook her head. “I think he was starting to come around when they took him back to the examination room, but they told me I couldn’t stay with him and that the doctor would come out and talk to me when he knew something.”
Unable to leave the rodeo they had coordinated to honor their late foster father, the men had sent her to the hospital with Sam, while they attended to dispatching the livestock Sam’s company had provided for the various events to the next rodeo on the schedule. She knew it had to be extremely hard for them not to have dropped everything to go with their brother to the hospital, but they had done their duty and seen to Sam’s interests when he couldn’t.
“Is everything over with for this year’s memorial rodeo?” she asked, knowing the bull riding was usually the last scheduled event.
“Yup, we got everything taken care of,” Lane said, lowering his lanky frame into one of the chairs. “There’s nothing for you to worry about right now, except being here for Sam.”
“I wish they would come out and tell us something,” Bria said, unable to sit still any longer. She walked over to look down the hall toward the room where they had taken Sam.
What could be taking so long? she wondered as she spotted T.J. and Jaron returning with several cups of coffee. The longer it took to hear something, the more worried she became.
“Still no word?” T.J. asked as he stopped to hand her a cup. He had no sooner gotten the words out, when a man in blue scrubs and a white lab coat entered the waiting area.
“Mrs. Rafferty?” he asked, walking over to her.
As she braced herself for whatever news he came to deliver, Sam’s brothers rose to stand with her. “I’m Brianna Rafferty,” she said, surprised that her voice sounded strong when her nerves were anything but steady. “Is my hus … is Sam going to be all right?”
“I’m Dr. Bailey, the neurologist on call this evening.” His expression gave no indication of what kind of news he had to tell them. “Let’s sit down and I’ll explain what’s going on with your husband.” Once they were all seated, he pulled up a chair to sit across from them. “Sam regained consciousness just before we took him to Imaging for the CT scan and X-rays, which is a good sign. And there was no evidence of broken bones.”
Apparently sensing she needed support, Nate took her hand in his and asked the question that she couldn’t. “Why do I hear a ‘but’ in your voice, Doc?”
“The scan showed that Sam suffered a severe concussion, but there were no signs of bleeding in his brain, which is good,” Dr. Bailey explained. “There is, however, some swelling.”
“What does that mean?” Jaron demanded. With his raven hair and dark demeanor, Jaron was the type of man other men rarely had the nerve to cross.
“There may or may not be complications.” Dr. Bailey met their worried gazes as he continued, “The next twenty-four hours should tell us if the cerebral edema will get worse. If that happens, we may have to take him into surgery to remove a section of his scull to relieve the pressure.”
Bria covered her horrified gasp with her hand.
“I really don’t think that’s something we’ll have to do, Mrs. Rafferty,” Dr. Bailey hastily added. “I’ve been monitoring his condition since he was brought into the E.R. and the swelling doesn’t show signs of worsening. But even if that isn’t an issue, we’ll have to watch for other neurological problems that wouldn’t show up on a scan.”
“What kinds of problems are we talking about here?” Ryder asked, looking as if he would like to punch something. A rodeo bull rider, normally the man was absolutely fearless. But Bria knew his frustration was a mask for the fear they all felt for Sam.
“With brain injuries there’s always the possibility of memory loss, problems with reasoning abilities or a personality change,” the doctor answered. “I’m not saying any of those things are inevitable or that they would be permanent if they do present, just that there are those possibilities.”
“Dear God, this can’t be happening,” she said as tears spilled down her cheeks. Sam was so strong, so self-assured, it was impossible to think that he might end up having problems. That she had played a part in his being injured in any way was almost more than she could bear. But she couldn’t live with herself if he had long-lasting problems because she’d chosen today to end their marriage.
Nate protectively put his arm around her shoulders. “When will we be able to see him, Doc?”
“We’ve put him in the Intensive Care Unit for closer observation and he’s resting comfortably. But two of you can go in to see him for a few minutes now, then again every two hours or so.” The doctor stood up and shook their hands. “I’ll let you know more after I assess his condition in the morning. For now, I’ll have one of the nurses direct you to the ICU waiting room upstairs.”
As the man walked away, Jaron patted her arm. “It’s going to be okay, Bria. Sam will get through this without any of those problems.”
“Sam’s tougher than anyone I’ve ever seen,” T.J. added. “I have no doubt he’ll be up and around in no time.”
Lane took a deep breath. “Why don’t you and Nate go on up to see him, while the rest of us stake a claim on some space in the ICU waiting area.”
On the elevator ride to the third floor, Bria couldn’t help wondering how much Sam had told his brothers about their divorce. Knowing him the way she did, he probably hadn’t told them any more than he had to.
Bria sighed. She might have decided that she couldn’t be his wife anymore, but she wanted to be with him tonight, wanted to help see him through whatever he was facing. But she wasn’t entirely certain she should stay either. After all, they were so close to being divorced, she wasn’t sure she had the right.
“Nate, maybe I shouldn’t be here,” she said uncertainly.
Her brother-in-law looked at her as if she might be losing her mind. “Why the hell would you say something like that, Bria?”
“Sam and I are one signature away from being divorced,” she said, hating the word. “I’m not sure he will even want me to be here.”
Nate shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. You don’t have that signature yet and until you do, as far as I’m concerned, and I’m pretty sure the state of Texas is in agreement on this, the two of you are still married.”
“But—”
“But nothing,” he cut her off. “You’re still his wife, and until this is over with and Sam is back on his feet, this is where you belong. After that, it will be up to the two of you to sort it out.”
She supposed Nate was right. Until the dissolution of their marriage was final and the documents filed at the courthouse, they were still legally married. If medical decisions had to be made on Sam’s behalf, she would be the one they turned to for answers. Besides, she wanted to be with him until she knew for certain he was going to be all right.
As they stepped off the elevator and turned to go through the Intensive Care Unit doors, Bria bit her lower lip to keep it from trembling. Even though they were ending their relationship, she still cared deeply for him. She just couldn’t live with him anymore. Not after what he had done almost five months ago. She had needed him with her when she lost their baby, not his excuses for being unable to leave his stock-contracting company during a rodeo.
When they checked in at the nurse’s desk and were directed to Sam’s room, a tear slid down Bria’s cheek at the sight of him. There was a swollen lump at his right temple and an ugly bruise ran along his jaw, but to her relief his eyes were open, clear, and she knew immediately that he recognized her and Nate.
“Will you tell these people to give me my clothes back so I can get dressed and get out of here?” he asked impatiently.
“Well, some things never change,” Nate said, his smile reflecting the relief Bria felt. “I see that bull didn’t knock any of the orneriness out of your sorry hide.”
Bria approached the side of the bed and, unable to stop herself from touching him, gently brushed Sam’s dark blond hair from his brow. “Does your head hurt, Sam?”
He reached for her hand. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m going to be just fine. Just find me some clothes, I’ll get dressed and we can go home.”
“You really need to stay here for a day or two so they can take care of you and make sure you’re going to be all right,” she said, taking his hand. The moment her palm touched his, a deep sadness for what could have been tightened her chest.
“I’ll rest better in our bed at home,” he insisted. “Hell, I’ll even let you play nurse if that’s what it takes to get me out of here.”
Bria silently met Nate’s questioning gaze. Why did Sam keep insisting that they go home together? She had moved out of the ranch house three months ago. And if that hadn’t been enough to convince her that something was wrong, his concession to let her nurse him back to health was. Another reason she had felt there was no hope for their marriage was the fact that he had so much pride and self-confidence, he never made her feel as if he truly needed her for anything but making love. If he were himself, he wouldn’t even consider allowing her to “play nurse.”
“Sam, do you know what month this is?” she asked cautiously.
He frowned as if he thought she might be the one with problems. “It’s January. Don’t you remember, we celebrated New Year’s together just before I left to take a string of bulls to the event in Oklahoma. That was last week. Now, will you stop asking me questions and get me something to wear?”
Her heart felt as if it came up in her throat. The bull-riding event he mentioned had taken place six months ago.
“It’s getting late and besides, it’s a two-hour drive from here to the ranch. Why don’t you stay here tonight, then we’ll see if they’ll let you go home tomorrow morning.” Nate glanced at her again, then finished, “In the meantime, Bria and I will see what we can do about finding your clothes.”
“That sounds like a good idea, Sam,” she agreed. His obvious lack of memory bothered her and they needed to speak to the doctor about it right away. “Try to get some rest now. I’m sure we’ll be able to deal with everything in the morning.”
Sam didn’t look happy, but apparently deciding he wasn’t going to get his way, he finally nodded. “Nate, could you give me a minute with my wife?”
“Sure thing, bro.” Nate nodded toward the hall. “I’ll be down in the waiting room with the rest of the guys, Bria.”
When Nate left the room, Sam pinned her with his piercing blue gaze. “Are you doing all right? You didn’t get too upset, did you?”
Confused, she had no idea why he was asking about her welfare. He was the one who had the accident. “I’m doing okay. But why do you ask?”
“We’ve been trying to have a baby and when I called you from the bull riding up in Oklahoma the other night you told me you were going to get one of those early home-pregnancy tests at the drugstore,” Sam said, looking hopeful as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “Were we successful, sweetheart? Are you pregnant?”
A cold sinking feeling settled in the pit of her stomach at his mention of their trying to start a family. He didn’t remember that she had not only become pregnant, she had miscarried in her seventh week. That had been almost six months ago and had ended up being the last straw in making her decision to file for divorce. Something was definitely wrong if he had no recollection of the past several months’ tumultuous events.
“No, I’m not pregnant,” she said, determined to talk to the neurologist as soon as possible. “Now, get some rest and I’ll be in a little later to check on you.”
“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Sam said, smiling. “We haven’t been trying that long. I’m sure you’ll be pregnant within another month or so.”
Unsure if she could respond without bursting into tears or reminding him that he would have had to be home more for her to become pregnant again, she simply nodded and turned to leave.
“Aren’t you going to give me a good-night kiss, sweetheart?” he asked, still holding her hand.
“I … uh … They won’t let me take down the bed rail,” she said, thinking fast. Kissing the tip of her index finger, she pressed it to his lips. “You need to get some rest so they’ll let you out of here soon. Try to get some sleep, Sam.”
He gave her a grin that never failed to cause her heart to skip a beat. “It’s going to be damn hard to do without you here beside me.”
She once again had to bite her tongue to keep from pointing out that sleeping without her hadn’t seemed to be a problem for him when he was traveling from one rodeo to another with his livestock-contracting company. But as she stared down at his handsome face, she decided that now wasn’t the time to get into how lonely she had been without him, how many times she had asked him to cut back on the travel or to remind him that some time ago, he had reached his goal of being independently wealthy and didn’t need to work if he didn’t want to. His smile was playing havoc with her resolve and she needed to put distance between them in order to regain her perspective.
“Good night, Sam.”
Some things never changed, she thought as she walked down the hall to the waiting area. The sun rose in the east each morning. The ocean rushed to shore. And Sam Rafferty could make her knees wobble with nothing more than his sexy-as-sin smile.
“I really don’t see any other way around it, Bria,” Nate insisted, shaking his head. “You’re going to have to move back into the ranch house with Sam until he regains his memory.”
After finally getting a chance to talk to the doctor the day after the accident, Sam’s brothers and Bria had decided to get a good night’s sleep, then meet in the hospital cafeteria this morning for coffee as they discussed how best to handle Sam’s recovery.
Dr. Bailey had informed them that after staying in the hospital for observation the past forty-eight hours, Sam had been cleared to go home, but that he was suffering from post-concussion syndrome. That was the reason he had forgotten everything that had happened during the past six months. The doctor had assured them that the condition was most likely temporary and would clear up on its own in a few weeks with Sam recovering most, if not all, of his memory. But until then he might suffer with headaches and spells of dizziness and shouldn’t become overly stressed or worried. And that was what brought them together to discuss the current dilemma. It was imperative that someone be with him at all times until he was fully recovered.
“Can’t one of you stay with him?” she asked, looking at each man in turn. “Or maybe hire someone to oversee his care?”
“Hiring a nurse would be out of the question,” T.J. said, adamantly shaking his head. “That would just piss him off and traumatize some poor nurse after she figured out he’s like a grizzly with a sore paw when he can’t do things for himself.”
“Any one of us could arrange to stay with him, but that wouldn’t solve the problem of Sam not getting overly stressed,” Lane said as if weighing his words carefully. “He doesn’t remember that the two of you were in the process of getting a divorce, let alone that you moved out. And right now that’s information he doesn’t need to hear.” Being a professional poker player, the man was a master at strategy and logic. At the moment, he was doing a fine job of using both to wear her down.
“You know we would do it for Sam in a heartbeat, but we aren’t who he’s going to expect—or want—to be with him,” Ryder pointed out.
“But all my things are in Dallas,” she said, feeling trapped. “Don’t you think he’ll notice there are none of my personal effects in the ranch house? No clothes. No pictures of my family.”
She knew it was a weak argument, but how was she supposed to get on with rebuilding her life if she had to go back to Sugar Creek Ranch and all the problems that had caused her to leave in the first place? And especially when the man she would be living with didn’t remember that those problems had become insurmountable.
“We all have trucks and strong backs,” T.J. said, shrugging.
Jaron nodded. “We can have you moved back into the house in nothing flat.”
Sighing, Bria knew what they said made perfect sense, but it still didn’t make it any easier to accept defeat. She had just started to get used to the idea that she wouldn’t be living the life she had planned when she married Sam. For three years, she had envisioned herself as a stay-at-home wife and mother to the big family they had planned to have. Then after making the painful decision to leave him, she had to start thinking about re-entering the workforce and building a career.
“If I do this, it’s only temporary.” She felt as if she was taking a huge step back from the course she had set for herself three months ago.
“Got it,” Nate said.
“I’m starting a new job as a marketing consultant for one of the department stores in Dallas in a few weeks when they start to expand their women’s clothing line, and I can’t afford to miss out on this opportunity,” she stressed. “I’m lucky they allowed me the time to get the divorce finalized and my feet back under me before I start the job. I’m not going to ask for more.”
“I’m certain Sam will have his memory back by then,” Lane assured her.
“And I wouldn’t want everything moved back to the ranch,” she warned them.
“Just tell us what you want out of your apartment and we’ll make sure that it’s in the house by the time you and Sam get home,” Ryder said, smiling.
Nate checked his watch. “We’d better get moving. They’re going to discharge Sam in a couple hours. That doesn’t give us a lot time to get to Dallas and then out to the ranch before you two get there.”
“Just get my clothes and shoes out of the closet,” she said, resigned. “I’ll go into town and buy whatever else I need.”
“Are you sure that’s it?” Ryder asked, frowning. “Won’t you need your under—”
“Positive,” she interrupted. She wasn’t about to have them bring anything else from her apartment. The thought of five men going through her underwear drawer to pack a box of panties, bras and nightgowns to bring to the ranch just wasn’t the least bit appealing.
Giving Nate the address of her apartment in Dallas, she handed him her key. “After you get my clothes, go to the manager’s office and tell her to hold my mail until I can get back up that way in a week or so to pick it up.”
“How are you going to manage getting away from Sam for the hour-and-a-half drive to get up there?” Jaron asked, frowning.
“I’m sure Sam will have a follow-up appointment with the neurologist sometime within the next couple of weeks.” She gave them all a warning look as she started to get up. “If I’m going to stay with him until he’s recovered, one of you will be taking him to the doctor here in Waco while I drive to Dallas to see about my apartment and get my mail.” Before they could come up with an excuse to get out of it, she added, “You owe me that much.”
She wasn’t at all surprised when all five of them rose to their feet as she stood up. She had known them almost as long as she had known Sam, and from the moment they met her, they had all treated her as if she was the sister they never had. Hank Calvert had not only helped them straighten out their youthful problems and set them on a course to become highly successful, extremely wealthy men, he had taught them manners and respect, as well as instilled in them a strong sense of family.
“Thanks for doing this for Sam,” Nate said, giving her a brotherly kiss on the cheek. “We really appreciate it, Bria.”
When they walked her to the elevator, each man hugged her and assured her they would see her at the ranch. As Bria watched them walk toward the hospital’s main exit, she couldn’t help dreading the upcoming weeks. How on earth was she going to act as if everything was all right?
Sam was the same man who worked constantly, couldn’t take the time for them as a couple and was never there for her when she needed him most. She had tried to tell him time after time what was wrong with their marriage—the reasons she was so unhappy and why she wanted them to return to the way things had been between them before they married. But all he would say was that everything he did was for her and their future. She finally came to the conclusion that no matter how successful and wealthy he became, it was never going to be enough. When he waited an entire day before he came home to check on her after she lost their baby, she knew she couldn’t go on with the way things were. Even when she needed him, he put his business first. Now, she was going back to the same situation.
Stepping onto the elevator, she pushed the button for the third floor. No, nothing had changed. Sam was still an incurable workaholic and without a doubt her biggest weakness. He always had been and unfortunately for her, she suspected that would never change.
Two
As Bria steered her SUV onto the road leading up to the ranch house she had called home for the past three years, she glanced over at Sam. He hadn’t had much to say on the drive from the hospital and she wondered if he was trying to remember events from the past six months.
“Is something wrong?” she asked.
“I don’t remember us buying this SUV,” he finally said. “How long have we had it?”
“About three months,” she answered, deciding to be honest, but omitting the fact that she had bought the Explorer after she moved away from the ranch.
As of yet, Sam hadn’t asked a lot of questions after being told that he had a form of amnesia, and she was extremely grateful. She wasn’t in the habit of lying to anyone, especially to Sam. For one thing, their relationship had always been based on honesty and trust and although their marriage was at an end, it didn’t mean that had to change. And for another, not telling Sam the truth wouldn’t do a thing to help him regain his memory. The doctor had advised that it would be better to let Sam remember the events of the past six months on his own and not inundate him with facts that might prove stressful and possibly impede his recovery.
“It seems pretty nice,” he said, looking around the interior of the vehicle.
She nodded. “I like it.”
“Did we get it in anticipation of a baby?” he asked, turning to look in the back. “Looks like there should be plenty of room for a car seat.”
“No.”
That was the second time he had mentioned them trying to become pregnant, and it wasn’t any easier to hear this time than it had been the other night at the hospital. Every time she thought about the baby she had miscarried almost five months ago, her chest tightened from the crushing loss, as well as the hurt and anger she still felt at him for not being there for her when she had needed his strength and support. He had chosen work over her and the loss of their baby, and that was something she didn’t think she would ever be able to get past.
She jumped when Sam reached over and placed his index finger to her mouth to stop her from nibbling on her lower lip. “Sweetheart, if you don’t stop that, there won’t be anything left for me to kiss.”
Hoping to change the subject, she took a deep breath and nodded toward the house. “It looks like your brothers are here to visit with you while I go into town to pick up a few things.”
“I don’t need a damn babysitter,” he said, clearly irritated by the thought.
“This isn’t up for debate, Sam.” She shook her head. At times, his pride was one of the most infuriating things about him. “You’re not calling the shots here—I am. The doctor said someone needed to be with you at all times and that’s exactly what’s going to happen. You might as well accept that.”
“We’ll see,” he said, indicating that he wasn’t going to make things easy.
When she parked the SUV, Sam got out of the truck before she could tell him to wait until she made sure he was steady enough to make it to the house. Pointing to the five men on the back porch having a beer, he called, “Hey, grab me one of those.”
“Don’t you dare,” Bria warned them as she closed the driver’s door. “The doctor said no alcoholic beverages.” Coming around the front of the Explorer, she asked, “Do you feel all right? You aren’t dizzy, are you?”
“I’m not a hothouse flower, Bria,” he said impatiently. “Other than not being able to remember the past six months, I’m fine. I could have driven us home and I don’t see why I can’t have a beer. It doesn’t have that much alcohol in it.”
“Let me tell you something, Sam Rafferty,” she said sternly. “You’re going to do exactly what the doctor outlined in the release instructions or I swear I’ll—”
“Do you have any idea how sexy you are when you start pitching a hissy fit?” he interrupted, tenderly touching her cheek. The gesture and his wicked grin sent a tiny thrill straight up her spine, distracting her. She had missed his touch and playfulness. It wasn’t something she had seen a lot of since he started the Sugar Creek Rodeo Company right after they married. “As soon as my brothers leave I’ll show you what it does to me.”
Bria forced herself to ignore the tremendous yearning that coursed through her. Lovemaking had been the one area of their marriage that was everything it should have been—at least it had been when he wasn’t traveling from one rodeo to another. But just because Sam didn’t remember they were calling it quits was no excuse for her to forget and give in to the temptation of being held by him once again. Leaving had been hard enough the first time, making love with him now would only make it doubly so when he regained his memory and she had to leave again.
“There won’t be any of that, either,” she said as much for her own benefit as it was for his. “You’re not supposed to get overly excited or stressed.”
“Sweetheart, making love isn’t stressful,” he said, putting his arm around her shoulders as they walked toward the back-porch steps. “It’s actually a great stress reliever, not to mention just plain fun.”
Her cheeks heated. “Shh. Your brothers will hear.”
“I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t be all that shocked,” he teased. “I think they know married folks carry on like that.”
Sam suddenly stopped walking and she could tell that he was having a problem by the way he leaned on her for support. “Nate! I need help! Sam’s dizzy!”
Nate and the other four men were down the steps and at Sam’s side in a flash. “Let’s get you into the house, bro,” Nate said, lifting Sam’s arm to his shoulders to relieve the weight from Bria.
“I can make it on my own steam,” Sam insisted. A muscle along his jaw worked furiously, indicating that he was fighting with everything he had to will the vertigo away.
Shaking her head at his foolish pride, Bria let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m going to let you all watch him while I go to town to buy groceries and some other necessities.”
“You are coming back, aren’t you?” Nate asked a little too quickly.
“Why wouldn’t she come back?” Sam frowned. “She lives here. Where else would she go?”
“Yes, I’ll be back,” she promised, ducking from beneath his arm. “I assume you took care of everything while I was at the hospital picking up Sam?”
“All done,” T.J. answered.
“What’s going on?” Sam demanded, looking from her to his brothers. “If somebody doesn’t tell me what the hell’s going on, I’m going to—”
“You can be pretty darned ornery when you don’t feel good,” Nate said, shrugging.
“Bria might decide to take off for parts unknown if you don’t follow doctor’s orders,” Lane added. “If I were you, I’d do what she tells you to do.”
When Sam seemed to accept their explanation, Bria breathed a sigh of relief. Very many mistakes like the one Nate had just made and they would have to tell Sam the truth before he could remember it on his own.
“And don’t worry about our getting everything done,” Ryder said, checking his watch. “We took care of getting the livestock loaded and sent on to the Del Rio rodeo. I’m going to hit the road and head on down there now. I’m supposed to work this one anyway, and it won’t be a big deal for me to oversee the wranglers.”
“Thanks, Ryder,” Sam said. “I appreciate it.”
“No need to thank me,” Ryder said, shaking his head. “You’d do the same for me if I needed help.”
“We’ll be down in a couple of days to help out,” T.J. said as Ryder turned to walk to his truck.
“Are we getting together for my birthday on Sunday, Bria?” Jaron looked hopeful. “You know how much I love your apple pie.”
“Of course,” she said, smiling.
She was glad Jaron mentioned his upcoming birthday. Planning his birthday dinner would give her something to concentrate on besides how much she wished things could be different for her and Sam. Besides, she loved holding family celebrations, and with all the men coming back for the weekend, it would give her a break from the pressure she anticipated being under while taking care of Sam.
Apparently satisfied that everything was as it should be, Sam nodded toward her SUV. “Drive careful, sweetheart.”
Walking to her Explorer, Bria wondered how she was going to make it through the next few weeks without losing her mind. Sam was far too perceptive not to pick up on every little slip, and it was just a matter of time before he realized that things between them were vastly different from what he remembered. Unfortunately, explaining that their marriage was over and why would do nothing but add to the stress he was already under from just trying to recall the past several months.
As she drove from the ranch yard, she sighed heavily. How had she managed to get herself into such a complicated situation? But more important than that, how on earth was she going to get herself out of it and remain on the course she had set for herself three months ago?
With their housekeeper and part-time cook, Rosa, off visiting her sister in San Antonio for a couple of weeks, Bria was in the kitchen cooking supper, while Sam sat in the family room pretending to watch the local evening news. She had insisted that he take it easy and he was trying, but it was damn hard to do. He wasn’t used to being idle and having to sit around with nothing to do made him feel like a worthless slug. He was accustomed to doing what a man was supposed to do—work hard and make a good living for his wife and the family they were planning to have.
Thinking about his stock-contracting business, he smiled. He was proud of the fact that he had started from scratch and built the Sugar Creek Rodeo Company to the level that he could retire right now without any worries for the rest of his days. But he wasn’t of a mind to do that. As Hank always said, everyone needed a purpose. Sam’s mission in life was to work hard so that Bria would never want for anything, never have to worry where money for their next meal would come from. Unlike what his biological father had done for his mother, Sam intended to see that his wife got whatever her heart desired.
As he looked around the room, he tried to remember the last time he had been home for more than a couple of days at a time. It was frustrating as hell not to recall even the simplest of memories, not to mention it was taking a big toll on his pride. Showing any kind of weakness never had been his style. But the fact that Bria was witness to his most recent limitations made the whole situation doubly humiliating.
He was supposed to be strong and capable—the man who took care of her, not the other way around. Unless he missed his guess, she was having just as hard of a time seeing him this way as he was of being the husband with some major limitations and no recent memories.
From the time she had come into the ICU to see him the night of the accident, Bria had been aloof, and their conversations, what few they’d had, were awkward at best. Had the fact that he had been hurt caused her to think of him as being inept? Or had she been there to see the bull run him down and was still traumatized by witnessing the accident?
He tried to think, but like everything else that had happened recently, he couldn’t remember. “Bria, could you come here a minute?”
When she walked in from the kitchen, she looked absolutely beautiful. A few strands of auburn hair had escaped the confines of her ponytail and her cheeks were delightfully pink from the heat of cooking supper.
“Is everything all right?” she asked, a look of concern in her pretty green eyes.
“I’m fine.” He gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “I was just wondering if you were at the rodeo. Did you see what happened?”
She nodded. “You were … distracted when the bull got loose. But I thought your brothers told you all about that while I was in town this afternoon.”
“They did.” Frowning, he shook his head. “I just can’t believe I was that careless. I’m normally real cautious around the bulls and especially that brindle. He’s as mean as a rattlesnake. Do you know what had my attention just before the accident happened?”
“They didn’t tell you?”
“No.”
He watched her take a deep breath before she looked down at her tightly clasped hands.
“I had just arrived and you were watching me.”
“That doesn’t sound like me. I never let myself get distracted while I’m working with livestock.” He ran his hand over the tension building at the back of his neck. “And normally when you come to one of the rodeos, you get there well before the events start, not when they’re almost over. Why were you running so late?”
“You know how bad traffic can be on I-35.” She glanced over her shoulder into the kitchen. “I really need to check on the spaghetti.”
“We’ll talk about it over supper,” he said, nodding.
When Bria disappeared into the kitchen, he was more confused than ever. Why had he been watching her instead of what he had been doing? And why did she seem so nervous about it? Did she somehow feel responsible for the accident? Was she feeling guilty?
That didn’t make any sense. It was his fault he hadn’t been paying attention, not hers.
When a dull pain suddenly reverberated through his head, Sam groaned and shut his eyes. A vision of Bria standing on the front porch with tears streaming down her face immediately flashed behind his closed eyes, then in a matter of seconds it disappeared along with the headache.
His eyes snapped open. Could that have actually happened during the past several months? A knot formed in the pit of his stomach. In all their years together, he could never remember seeing Bria look so unhappy, so filled with sadness. What could have possibly caused her to look as if her heart was breaking?
Over the past year or two, she had let it be known on more than one occasion that she would like him to be home with her more. But of all their arguments about the time he spent out on the road with the rodeo company, he could never remember her being that miserable. Had things between them escalated to that point? Or had something else happened to cause her such heartache and he just couldn’t remember?
Lost in his disturbing thoughts, it took a moment for Sam to realize Bria was standing beside his chair with her hand on his arm. “Sam, are you all right?”
“I … uh, yeah,” he said, not sure if the image had been a fragment of recovered memory or his imagination working overtime. Taking her by the hand, he pulled her down to sit on his lap. “I’m fine.”
“This isn’t a good idea, Sam.” She placed her hand on his chest as if she intended to get up, then stopped abruptly. “Something is wrong. Your heart is racing.”
Wrapping his arms around her waist, he kissed the tip of her nose. “You know that always happens when I’m close to you, sweetheart.”
He didn’t want to ask her about the vision just yet. Just the thought of Bria actually experiencing that kind of emotional pain was gut-wrenching.
“Do you feel like coming into the kitchen for dinner or would you rather I bring a tray in here for you?” she asked, her gaze not quite meeting his.
“What’s wrong, Bria?” he asked. “And don’t tell me ‘nothing.’ I know you well enough to tell when something is bothering you.”
“I … guess I’m just worried,” she said slowly, as if choosing her words carefully.
Bringing his hand up, he gently brushed a strand of auburn hair from her soft cheek. “I’m here. My muscles are still a little sore, but I’m okay—we’re okay. And once I convince the doctor to release me to go back to work, everything will be back to normal.”
Lowering his head, he started to cover her mouth with his, but to his surprise she pulled away from him and stood up. “Of course, everything will go back to the way it was. Why wouldn’t it?” Her eyes sparkled with anger. “You’ll go back to traveling from one rodeo to another with the livestock and I’ll—” She stopped abruptly, took a deep breath, then to his utter bewilderment, she smiled. “I’ll be just fine. Now, do you feel like coming into the kitchen to eat or do you want me to bring your supper to you in here?”
Sam frowned. “Bria, what’s going on?”
He had never known her to switch gears quite that fast. If he didn’t know her better, he would swear she was trying to hide something from him. But that didn’t make any sense. Their relationship had always been based on honesty and sharing whatever was on their minds. With the exception of his life before he and Nate entered the foster care system—a life filled with mistakes he never intended to share with her or anyone else—they knew everything about each other. There wasn’t a single thing he could think of that she might feel the need to keep from him.
“Don’t mind me. It’s been a long day and I’m tired, that’s all.” She motioned toward the kitchen. “But I do need to know where you want to eat. If you’d like to finish watching the news—”
“Kitchen,” he interrupted, slowly rising to his feet. “I wasn’t paying much attention to the news, anyway. Since I can’t remember what’s been going on in the world for the past six months, there isn’t a lot of it that makes sense right now.”
As he followed Bria, Sam couldn’t help smiling. Even after three years of marriage, he loved watching the sexy sway of her shapely backside. It never failed to cause his heart to pound and his temperature to rise. This evening she looked exceptionally appealing in her summery pink sundress with skinny little straps that kept falling off her shoulders.
His smile suddenly turned to an all-out grin. Although he wasn’t used to being idle and viewed taking off work as a complete waste, he had a feeling that his forced downtime might not be that bad after all. Bria had been after him for the past year or so to slow down and spend more time with her and he saw no reason why they couldn’t enjoy his unexpected vacation for as long as it lasted. In fact, it might be just what they needed to make the baby they had both been anticipating.
The moment Sam stepped up behind her where she stood at the sink, Bria felt a warm tingling sensation course from the top of her head all the way to her toes even before he wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her back against his solid frame. The chemistry between them had always been that way. Sam just had to walk into a room and all her senses went on high alert.
“Why aren’t you putting those in the dishwasher?” he asked, nodding toward the dishes she was washing. His warm breath feathering over the side of her neck sent a wave of longing straight through her.
She would have liked nothing better than to turn in his arms and have him kiss her until her knees gave way. But falling back into old habits now was not going to help her rebuild her life once Sam regained his memory and she left Sugar Creek Ranch for good. She needed to keep that uppermost in her mind.
Concentrating on the plate she was washing to keep from doing something she knew she would later regret, Bria shrugged. “Since Rosa is visiting her sister and no one’s been here for the past few days, there really weren’t enough dishes to warrant using the dishwasher. Besides, after we hired her to do the cooking and cleaning, the only time I get to be domestic is when one of the guys has a birthday and I make a celebratory dinner. I’ve missed doing things like cooking and washing a few dishes. It makes me feel useful and needed.”
“I can think of something a lot more fun for an after-dinner activity that will make you feel just as needed,” he said, his tone low and intimate. He brushed her long hair aside to slowly nibble kisses from just below her ear, down her neck to her bare shoulder. “Why don’t you put the rest of the dishes in the dishwasher and go upstairs with me. I can’t remember the last time I made love to you, but it feels like it’s been a while.”
She wasn’t certain if it was the temptation of once again being loved by Sam, of experiencing his tenderness and the mastery of his touch, or the fear that she wouldn’t be able to resist him, but Bria’s heart skipped erratically, then took off beating as if she had run a marathon. “I don’t think that would be in either of our best interests,” she said truthfully, pulling the thin strap of her sundress back on top of her shoulder.
He stopped his sensual assault and turned her to face him. “You want to explain that?”
The frown on his handsome face was a good indication that whatever explanation she came up with needed to be reasonable and something that he would have no trouble accepting. Thinking quickly, she smiled. “The doctor told both of us that you need to take it easy for a few more days. I’m going to see to it that’s exactly what you do.”
“Okay,” he said, his grin wicked. “I’ll just lie there and let you make love to me.”
Staring up at him, she was reminded of how things had been during the early days of their marriage—the playfulness, the inability to keep their hands off each other. That had been before the Sugar Creek Rodeo Company had become a resounding success and Sam had become obsessed with making it bigger and better than any of his competitors.
“I’ve got a better idea,” she said, turning back to the sink when he started to lower his head for a kiss. “Why don’t I finish the dishes and then we can go out onto the porch and watch the sunset together.”
“Seriously?” She could hear the frustration in his voice and knew that he wasn’t going to give up easily. “You’d rather watch the sun go down than to go upstairs and try to make a baby with me?”
Her chest tightened with the mention of the baby they had both wanted. He couldn’t remember and she couldn’t tell him that there had been a baby—a baby they had both wanted and that she had lost. Nor could she tell him how much his absence had affected her when she’d had the miscarriage.
“Sam, it’s not a good time—”
“Ah, so that’s what the deal is,” he said, his tone suddenly filled with understanding. “Why didn’t you just come out and tell me you’re having your period? You’ve never been shy about that with me before.”
She had intended to explain that it wasn’t a good time to discuss starting a family while he was recovering from the concussion, but his misconception would keep her from having to make excuses for at least a few more days. Besides, by not correcting his assumption, she wasn’t exactly lying to him. She knew he probably wouldn’t see it that way, but it really was best for both of them.
“I had other things on my mind,” she said evasively. Deciding it was time for a change of subject, she added, “I’ll be finished with the dishes in a few more minutes. Why don’t you go on out to the porch and get comfortable in the swing.”
“Since it looks like that’s the most excitement I’m going to have for the evening, I guess I might as well.” He kissed the side of her neck, then releasing her, started toward the back door. “Don’t be long.”
Bria waited until Sam had closed the kitchen door before resting her forearms on the edge of the sink to sag against it. By the time Sam regained his memory, she was going to be thoroughly exhausted from dancing around the truth, as well as fighting the temptation he posed. No matter how disillusioned and angry she had been with him over the past several months, no matter how many times she told herself that she couldn’t live with a man who was never there for her, she still wanted him.
Deciding that she was going to need reinforcement, she quickly finished washing the last of the dishes and walked into the study to pick up the phone. When her sister answered on the second ring, Bria said, “Mariah, I need your help. Get down to the ranch as soon as you can. And plan on staying a couple of days.”
“I thought you told me you’d only be a few minutes,” Sam said when Bria walked out onto the porch. “I was just about to come looking for you, sweetheart.”
Instead of sitting beside him on the swing as he thought she would, she walked over to stand by the porch rail. “I was on the phone with my sister.”
“How is Mariah?” Sam asked, unable to remember the last time he had seen his sister-in-law. Five years younger than Bria, the two sisters were as close as he and his brothers.
“She’s coming down from Amarillo for the weekend.” Bria turned to give him a smile. “She offered to help me make dinner for Jaron’s birthday.”
Sam wasn’t the least bit surprised that Mariah planned to attend the birthday dinner for his brother. Aside from the fact that the vivacious brunette attended all the birthday celebrations Bria arranged for him and his brothers, it was no secret that Mariah had a huge crush on Jaron. That his brother thought of her as off-limits because she was Bria’s sister and ten years younger than himself was no secret either.
“It’ll be good to see her again,” Sam said, meaning it. He liked his sister-in-law and thought she would be good for Jaron—help settle him down. But it wasn’t his place to interfere. That was Jaron’s business, and Hank had taught them all not to stick their noses in where they didn’t belong.
“Why don’t you come over here and sit down?” he asked when Bria continued to stand by the rail.
She hesitated a moment, then slowly walked over to lower herself onto the porch swing next to him. “You looked comfortable and I didn’t want to disturb you.”
Sam released a frustrated breath. “Dammit, Bria, that run-in with the brindle bull didn’t turn me into an invalid. I may still have a couple of aching muscles, but give me some credit. I’m made of stronger stuff than that.”
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