The Doctor's Undoing
GINA WILKINS
When the going gets tough, third-year medical student Ron Gibson walks away. Yet when it comes to sexy colleague Haley Wright, Ron knows they are meant to be much more than friends. For the first time, he wants to be the man she deserves. But with their friendship at risk, the stakes couldn’t be higher!
His gaze lingered on her mouth. “I’ve been thinking a lot lately about your advice.”
“What advice?”
“You know what you always say about going after what you want? Like when a guy wants something very badly, but the risks are damned high?”
“I guess that would depend on how much you’re willing to lose,” she answered very softly.
He searched her face. And then he sighed lightly, dropped his hand and moved an inch backward. “Some things are just too valuable to gamble on.”
She reached out and caught his shirt. Giving a little tug, she brought him back to within touching proximity. “Some risks are worth taking.”
About the Author
GINA WILKINS is a bestselling and award-winning author who has written more than seventy novels for Mills & boon. She credits her successful career in romance to her long, happy marriage and her three “extraordinary” children.
A lifelong resident of central Arkansas, Ms Wilkins sold her first book in 1987 and has been writing full-time since. She has appeared on the Waldenbooks, B. Dalton and USA TODAY bestseller lists. She is a three-time recipient of the Maggie Award for excellence, sponsored by Georgia romance Writers, and has won several awards from the reviewers of RT Book Reviews.
The Doctor’s
Undoing
Gina Wilkins
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
For the Insomniac Divas, my light in the darkness.
And with thanks, as always, to Kerry
for her invaluable assistance!
Chapter One
“Will you marry me?”
Haley Wright smiled fondly at the man who had just popped the question—for the third time that week. “It’s sweet of you to ask, but I’m afraid I can’t.”
He sighed heavily. “Already married, huh?”
He responded that same way every time she turned him down. “No, still single.” It was the same reply she always gave him. “Just too busy to get married right now.”
“I could make things easier for you,” he suggested hopefully. “I’m a great cook. I can even do the laundry.”
“As much as I appreciate the offer,” she said, making a note on the pad in her hand, “I still have to decline.”
Edgar Eddington, a sixty-two-year-old Caucasian male presenting with congestive heart failure and cirrhosis of the liver, nodded in resignation against the pillow of the hospital bed in which he lay. “Can’t blame a guy for asking a pretty young doctor.”
Smiling, Haley looked over her notes to make sure she had everything she needed when she presented her patient to the other students, the residents and the attending physician when they made rounds a short time later. Assuring herself that she had checked everything she was supposed to know about Mr. Eddington for that morning—she hoped—she held her notebook at her side and smiled at the patient. “I’ll see you in a little while, Mr. Eddington.”
He winked, a flirtatious smile lighting his illness-ravaged face. “I’ll look forward to it, doctor.”
She had told him several times that as a third-year medical student, she wasn’t yet entitled to be called doctor, but his answer to that was always, “Close enough.” Many patients on her internal medicine rotation tended to call anyone in a white coat “doctor,” making no distinction between the students’ shorter, hip-length white coats and the physicians’ longer coats, which fell almost to the knees. While she had been instructed to politely correct the misidentification, she was not expected to argue with the more stubborn patients.
Hurrying toward the students’ room in hopes of snagging a free computer on which to write her notes, she was still smiling a little in response to Mr. Eddington’s outrageous flirting. She never failed to be impressed by his bravely cheerful attitude even in the face of the pain he suffered in what both he and the medical staff realized was the final stage of his life. He had weeks to live, at the most, but during the days she had worked with him, she had never once heard him complain.
She was assigned to monitor three patients during the month she would spend on wards in the Veterans Administration hospital near her medical school campus. When one patient was discharged, she picked up another, so she always had three.
Every morning at six, she visited each patient to record any problems noted during the night, to make note of the vital signs that had been taken every two to four hours and to ask if they had any questions or concerns. She always did a physical exam—checking head, eyes, ears, nose, throat, heart, lungs, abdomen, blood flow, pulses in the hands and feet—writing down what she observed. Because she’d been doing those exams for only a week during this, her first rotation, she tried to look more confident than she actually felt.
After she had seen her assigned patients, she had to write notes on each before rounds started at 8:00 a.m. It wasn’t easy getting it all done in time, but she knew better than to be late or unprepared when her resident or attending physician asked her a question during rounds.
Aware of rapidly passing minutes, she rushed into the students’ room, hoping a computer there would be free. If not, she would have to find an available one somewhere on the floor, and she had very little time remaining before rounds. To her relief, only one of the two computers was being used. Sandy-haired Ron Gibson looked up from the keyboard with a grin when she stumbled into the room. “Running late again?”
She glared at him. “That’s easy for you to say. You only had two patients to see today. I had three.”
“Maybe if you didn’t spend so much time flirting with Mr. Eddington…”
Plopping into the uncomfortable chair in front of the spare computer, she snorted. “Says the guy who can usually be found flirting with the nurses.”
“What can I say? They love me.”
Sadly enough, it was true. Ron was most definitely the nurses’ pet student. His infectious grin and twinkling blue eyes helped him get away with things no other student would even attempt. He was also a favorite with his patients, treating them with respect and sincere concern.
Haley had always known Ron would be a good doctor, even though his sometimes lackadaisical attitude toward class work and studying had frustrated her. They’d both been active in a five-member study group which had drifted together their first semester of medical school and had met frequently afterward, becoming close friends during the first two years of classes. Still, spending so much time together had inevitably led to occasional tension. Haley was aware that she and Ron had contributed perhaps more than their share toward that friction.
It was just that he was so skilled at pushing her buttons, she thought as her fingers flew over the computer keyboard. He liked to tease her about being the perky “cheerleader” of the group, a moniker he used whenever she tried to convince him to take their studies more seriously. It frustrated her that his stated motto had always been, “If it doesn’t work out, walk away.” Her own had always been, “If at first you don’t succeed, keep at it until you do.”
Those opposing viewpoints had led more than once to nervous sniping. Fortunately, they had cleared the air between them a couple months ago, and they’d been getting along much better since. She could say honestly that she considered him one of her closest friends.
Pulling her notebook out of one of the stuffed pockets of her pristine white coat, she concentrated on typing her notes. SOAP notes, they were called. S for subjective, or what the patient said about his condition overnight. O for objective, which included readings of vital signs, lab work and physical exams. A for assessment, a brief statement of the patients’ descriptions and conditions. And P for plan, the recommended course of treatment as prescribed by the resident physician.
A wadded sheet of paper hit her in the back of the head and tumbled to the floor. She didn’t even look around. “Stop it, Ron. I’m running out of time.”
He laughed softly. Despite her irritation with him, her lips twitched in a wannabe smile. It was a common response to his—okay, she would admit it—his sexy, low laugh. Acknowledging his appeal didn’t mean she was particularly susceptible to it, she assured herself, as she had on more than one occasion during the past two years. Ron Gibson was a walking heartbreak if she’d ever met one, and she was too smart and too busy to let herself fall into that trap.
“You know you’ll be ready for rounds,” he said as he gathered his own notes to stuff into the pocket of his slightly crumpled white coat. “You’re a resident’s dream of a med student.”
It was the student’s job to make the resident look good in front of the attending, and Haley acknowledged that she always tried her best to do so. That was her nature—Ron could call it “cheerleader” if he liked, but it was important to her to see others succeed, just as it was for her to do well, herself.
“I try.”
“Yes, you certainly do.”
Was that a dig? She shot a suspicious look over her shoulder, but couldn’t tell anything from his bland demeanor. “It would be better for you if you didn’t always have to be the class clown. Your resident spends the whole time during rounds worrying about what you’re going to say in front of the attending.”
His expression turned instantly innocent. “I’ve been perfectly well behaved during my presentations.”
“Mmm. Doesn’t prevent everyone from worrying about when you’re going to stop being perfectly well behaved and let your real self show,” she muttered, returning to her notes.
He laughed again as he ambled out of the room. “See you on rounds.”
Even as she concentrated on finishing her work, she dwelled on thoughts of Ron during the next few minutes. She found it ironic that out of their entire study group, she and Ron were the only two who’d ended up on the same rotation, so they saw each other every day during rounds and lectures.
She’d hoped to share the experience with her best friend, Anne Easton. But Anne was on surgical rotation—a demanding, time-consuming block—in addition to starting a new life with her husband, who now made his home with his wife here in Little Rock when he wasn’t traveling for his job. Haley and Anne hardly had a chance to see each other lately. Nor had Haley seen much of Connor or James, their other two study partners. Connor and James were on a separate semester schedule, meaning she wouldn’t do any of her rotations with them this year.
She couldn’t say she missed the mind-numbing overload of lectures and exams that had taken up the first two years of medical school, but she did miss her friends. Which, perhaps, explained why she was always happy to see Ron every morning, despite her frequent annoyance with him.
Funny how conflicted her feelings were about Ron, she mused, folding her notes into the patient history and physicals—commonly referred to as H & Ps—and slipping them into her pocket. Anne had once commented that Haley and Ron were like squabbling siblings—and yet that description had never felt quite right to Haley. She refused to concede that the sparks she and Ron set off were at all sexual—but “sisterly” wasn’t the word she’d have chosen, either. She’d settled for thinking of him as an attractive, interesting, complicated and often annoying friend.
She supposed that was close enough to the truth.
Rounds began promptly at 8:00 a.m. The residents and students were always relieved when the attending physician showed up either on time or a few minutes late. Having the attending show up early caused panicky, last-minute completions of notes and charts. No one wanted to be caught unprepared.
Though this was Ron’s first rotation, and first real experience with hospital rounds, he felt more comfortable with the process than he might have expected. He liked the attending quite a bit. Dr. Cudahy was a seasoned hospitalist who was cordial and considerate to her patients and associates. Her first lecture to the three students on this team—Ron, Haley and Hardik Bhatnagar—had included a reminder that all the patients they would see in this facility had spent time serving their country and in return deserved to be treated with gratitude and respect, no matter what unhealthy lifestyle choices they might have made.
Along with his two classmates, three residents, Dr. Cudahy and her nurse, Ron entered the room of the first patient they would be seeing—Haley’s flirtatious Mr. Eddington. The thin, wan man winked at Haley, who stood beside his bed to begin her presentation. A warm, answering smile reflected in her amber eyes when she spoke to the assembled group.
Haley was good at presenting, Ron thought with a touch of pride for her. She looked comfortable and confident as she gave a brief summary of Mr. Eddington’s condition, his experiences during the night and the resident’s plan for continued treatment. She was able to answer the attending’s questions with only a glance at her notes, which made both her and her resident look good. Ron gave her a surreptitious thumbs-up when they left the room to move to the next.
Hardik sailed through his presentation of his first patient, but stumbled during his second stop. He’d forgotten to note the new antibiotic that had been started during the night, and as a result, his resident had to step in to answer the attending’s questions, leaving Hardik embarrassed. It happened to all of them, of course; Dr. Cudahy even deliberately tried to stump them at times, just to keep them humble and on their toes. Ron still felt bad for his classmate—and hoped he didn’t make the same mistakes with his own patients.
Ron kept his presentations brief and to the point, despite his urge to crack a few jokes to make everyone laugh. Which, of course, made him think of Haley’s comment that everyone was just waiting for him to display his “real” self during rounds. Had she only been teasing? Or did she really believe the serious and proficient side of him was only an act?
Haley looked good today, he mused, watching her present her final patient. Georgia McMillan, an sixty-eight-year-old retired Air Force nurse, was being treated for pneumonia in addition to emphysema and congestive heart failure, all common to this facility’s population. Many of the veterans had been or were still heavy smokers, leading to a high incidence of lung and heart diseases among other smoking-related ailments.
Letting Haley’s presentation drift past him, Ron concentrated instead on how fresh and professional she looked in her spotless, short white coat over a melon-colored top with tan pants. Her collar-length, honey-colored hair was neatly restrained with a brown headband, and her makeup was flawless and understated—not that her pretty, girl-next-door face needed much enhancement.
He realized abruptly that the group was moving toward the door, leaving him gazing rather stupidly at Haley. He recovered quickly, sending a smile of gratitude toward the patient who allowed the students to gawk at her and learn from her suffering. Ms. McMillan batted her eyes at him in return, making him chuckle as he stepped out of the room.
When all the patients had been seen, Dr. Cudahy led them to a conference room for a teaching session. The residents and students followed like ducklings trailing a mother duck—which was the way Ron had come to think of them during the past week. Dr. Cudahy had informed them yesterday that she would be discussing hospital-acquired infection today. The students had been expected to research the subject on their own last night so they could participate in an intelligent discussion of the subject. Ron had spent several hours in front of his computer and textbooks, and hoped he would be ready if the attending tried to trip him up with a difficult question.
He took this training more seriously than some people gave him credit for, he thought with another glance at Haley.
Haley was tired when she arrived home, but that was nothing new. She would take the weariness after a long day on the wards any time over the grueling schedule of classes and exams that had made up the first two years of medical school.
Pulling the band from her hair, she shook her head to loosen her tidy bob and headed straight for the kitchen in search of something cold to drink. Her apartment was an older one, and the appliances were almost as old, but at least the aging fridge worked well enough to keep her sodas cold, she thought, taking a big swallow of a diet lemon-lime beverage. The citrusy liquid flooded her throat with a satisfying bite, somewhat reviving her after being out in the heat of an Arkansas late-July afternoon. She’d grown up in this state, so she was accustomed to the oppressive, humid summer temperatures, but she still preferred the crisp, cool days of autumn.
Her phone rang just as she dropped onto her couch to prop up her aching feet for a few minutes before she made dinner. Seeing her mother’s number on the ID screen, she smiled when she answered. “Hi, Mom. What’s up?”
Haley’s parents still lived in Russellville where Haley had grown up, a one-hour or so drive from Haley’s Little Rock apartment complex. An only child, she was especially close with her mother, and they talked and saw each other as often as they could considering their hectic schedules. Her parents ran a busy restaurant, Pasta Wright, in Russellville, which kept them both running pretty much 24/7. Haley had worked in that establishment, herself, during her senior year of high school and for two years afterward before starting college, so she knew exactly how hard those days could be, though her parents still loved the work.
Her mom adored hearing about Haley’s medical school experiences. Janice Wright had always encouraged her daughter to pursue any career she desired. She wanted Haley always to be able to take care of herself, to be a modern, independent woman with many roads open to her. Haley’s dad had been just as encouraging for her to go after her dreams, pushing her out of the restaurant and into college as soon as they were all sure the restaurant venture would survive.
Her parents had offered to support her financially during her medical education by getting another mortgage on the house that was already collateral for their business, but she had refused to allow them to make that sacrifice. She would get by on loans, she assured them. If she was going to be an independent woman, she might as well start now.
“Have you heard any more from that young man you were dating last month?” her mother asked as the conversation wound down. “Kris?”
“No, Mom. I won’t be hearing from Kris anymore. I heard he’s seeing someone else now.”
“And you’re really okay with that? You seemed so fond of him.”
“I was fond of him. He’s a great guy. But it was never serious. We were just friends, hanging out and having a little fun. And it was my decision to go our separate ways. I’m staying busy with this rotation. After this one, I have pediatrics and then surgery, which involves really long hours. I just didn’t have the time or energy to devote to Kris—or anyone else—right now.”
Haley had known from the start that Kris wouldn’t be in her life for long. After dating him only a few months, she had tactfully informed him it wasn’t fair to him to continue the way they had been, with her too busy to see him regularly and too distracted by thoughts of school when they were together. When he hadn’t even bothered to argue, she’d realized that he was rather relieved she had made that decision for them. It wasn’t giving up, she assured herself, when that outcome had been predetermined from the beginning.
“Well—just remember you can’t work all the time. Have some fun when you can.”
Her mom had warned her several times that, as important as her career might be, it shouldn’t be the only thing in Haley’s life. One must stay balanced, she counseled, with family and other interests to fill the hours away from work.
“I’ll try to take a little time off when I can, Mom.”
Not that there was much time to take. Even with the first two years behind her, the next two would be busy in their own way. Long hours in rotations, preparing for Step 2 of the licensure exams, applying and interviewing for residency programs. Becoming the physician she wanted to be.
When the time was right, she would find someone to share her life with, Haley assured herself. In her experience, everything had a way of working out as it was meant to.
Which sentiment would only give Ron more reason to tease her about her “optimistic cheerleader” attitude, she thought with a grimace as she and her mom concluded their call.
She wondered impatiently why thoughts of Ron had popped into her head at just that moment.
As they had vowed to try to do regularly during the remainder of medical school, the study group members met for dinner after work the following week, a rare evening when all five were free for a couple of hours. It still felt odd to Ron not to see his friends in classes every day. Though they stayed in touch, this was the first time they’d all been able to get together to compare notes on their rotations that had started two weeks earlier.
Anne’s husband, Liam, and Connor’s wife, Mia, had been invited to join them this evening, but Liam was out of town on business, as he so often was, and Mia had opted to see a movie with her stepdaughter, instead. Ron suspected she’d done so to give the group a chance to share tales about their rotation experiences without worrying if they were boring her with their shoptalk.
They sat in a big, round booth with plates of seafood and glasses of wine on the table in front of them. “How are your rotations going?” Ron asked, including everyone in the question.
Connor Hayes spoke first. The father of eight-year-old Alexis, Connor had just celebrated his first wedding anniversary with Mia. Ron had attended that wedding, as had the other members of their group.
“I’m enjoying geriatrics,” Connor said. “Had my second hospice visit this afternoon. I can see how much good the hospice teams do for the families in the end stages of their loved ones’ lives. I really admire the ones who do it every day, especially the volunteers.”
“Are you considering geriatrics now?” Anne asked him.
Smiling, Connor shook his head. “Still planning family practice. It’s what I’ve always wanted to do, and I doubt I’ll change my mind during rotations.”
“My psych rotation is pretty interesting, but it’s not on my list of possible specialties,” James Stillman commented. “I don’t mind it for this six weeks, but I think I’ll be ready to move on to something else by the time the rotation ends.”
Twenty-nine-year-old James had already earned a doctorate in microbiology before he’d entered medical school. He had said once that he kept going to school to put off committing to any particular career, a sentiment Ron had laughingly agreed with.
After dropping out of college his first semester after high school, Ron had drifted for a couple of years, trying several unsuccessful jobs before deciding to give college another try. Applying himself to his studies that time, he had done well enough in his classes—particularly his science classes—that his faculty advisor had encouraged him to consider medical school. Ron had taken the MCAT, the medical school admissions exam, half expecting he wouldn’t do well enough to even be considered. No one had been more startled than him when he’d received a very high score.
Well—maybe his family had been more surprised. His dad had predicted Ron would drop out of medical school when it got too tough. His mother had worried aloud that Ron wasn’t doctor material, and that he’d only been setting himself up for disappointment. None of his siblings thought he’d ever make anything of himself; they’d expected him to settle for the same aimless and unfulfilling existence they led themselves.
He’d made it through the interviews and had been placed on the alternates list for admission. Even then, he’d waited to be told that he hadn’t made it in. Apparently, enough first-choice applicants had declined to open up a slot for him. Rather dazed to have gotten that far, he’d secured his loans and shown up for classes—only to be slammed by the reality of the commitment he had made when he found out just how hard medical school really was. He’d been unprepared for the long hours, the constant stress, the sleep deprivation, the massive amounts of information he had been expected to learn and access on demand. Several times, he’d almost chucked it all and taken to his heels.
Only a few things had kept him on course. His pride, which had made him reluctant to admit to his family that they’d been right about him not being cut out to be a doctor. His deep desire to enter a career in which he felt he could make a difference in other people’s lives. And the people of his close-knit and incredibly encouraging study group—including Haley, whose refusal to let anyone around her concede defeat had been as inspiring as it was irritating at times.
Maybe at the back of his mind he’d kept the comforting thought that he could always move on to something else if this didn’t work out. His life wouldn’t end if he didn’t become a doctor. He’d survive if he didn’t pass the next test, or score high enough on Step 1 of the national medical licensing exam. But somehow, he’d continued to pass—maybe not with the highest grades in the class, but respectably enough to remain in good standing. And he’d passed Step 1, news he had learned only days earlier. So, it seemed that he might just become a doctor, after all.
Amazing.
“If not psychiatry, have you given any more thought to what type of medicine you want to practice, James?” Haley asked curiously. “Have you narrowed the choices down since the last time we all got together?”
Connor was the only one in the group who seemed certain about his area of specialty. He’d intended from the start to practice family medicine. Anne had entered school saying she wanted to be a surgeon like her father, grandfather and brother; now she said she might be interested in obstetrics and gynecology, which would include some surgery.
James, Haley and Ron had all kept their options open, for various reasons. Ron because he simply didn’t know, yet, what he wanted to do. He hoped he’d figure it out sometime during rotations. He had less than a year and a half before he would start interviewing for residency programs.
James smiled wryly in response to Haley’s question. “Who knows? Maybe I’ll enter law school after I’ve earned this degree.”
Everyone laughed, as James obviously expected, but Ron wondered if there was any truth in the threat. Though Ron considered James one of his two closest male friends, he had to admit he didn’t always know what was going on in James’s head. James was friendly, generous, easy to talk to, always supportive—but private to the extent that even his friends weren’t always sure they knew him very well. Ron wouldn’t be surprised by anything James decided to do after medical school—even law school.
“What about you, Ron?” Connor asked, distracting him from his musings about James. “Reached any decisions yet?”
Ron shrugged. “Still thinking pediatrics. Or maybe geriatrics.”
Connor laughed. “Quite the range there.”
Smiling sheepishly, Ron nodded. “Yeah. I like kids and seniors. You can count on both of them to tell you what they’re really thinking.”
“Not to mention that both groups always laugh at your silly jokes,” Haley pointed out.
He grinned at her. “There’s that, too.”
“How’s it going on the VA wards?” James included both Haley and Ron in the question as he reached for his wineglass.
Ron spoke before Haley had the chance. “Haley’s excelling, of course. The most prepared, most eager and most helpful medical student on the rotation. Her resident loves her.”
Haley sighed gustily in response to Ron’s teasing.
James chuckled. “I have to admit, I miss Haley’s motivational minispeeches when I try to study by myself in the evenings to prepare for the next day’s sessions.”
Haley smiled at him. “Just give me a call whenever you need a motivating speech. I always have one or two prepared.”
“I’ll do that.” James smiled back at her, and Ron found himself having to smooth a frown, for some reason.
“Darn it.” Anne scowled down at her lap, into which she had just dropped a bite of her entrée. “Now I’ve got a splatter of sauce on my skirt. Of course it missed the napkin entirely.”
“I’ve got one of those stain removal pens in my purse,” Haley offered immediately. “Let’s go to the ladies’ room and I’ll help you.”
Anne slid toward the edge of the booth. “Thanks, Haley.”
Standing to let Anne out, Ron nodded wryly. “That’s our Haley. Always prepared for anything.”
Haley punched him in the arm when she passed him on the way to the restroom with Anne. Rubbing the stinging spot ruefully, he chuckled as he returned to his seat.
“How are the two of you getting along on the wards?” Connor asked, having watched the interplay.
“Fine,” Ron assured him. “Now that some of the pressure of exams are behind us, she’s a lot more relaxed. Not as touchy.”
Both Connor and James looked at him with raised eyebrows.
“What?”
“You’re blaming those last few months of conflict on Haley?” James asked skeptically.
“Well, maybe not all of it.” Ron took a sip of his beer to avoid meeting his friends’ eyes. “Maybe I teased her a couple of times when she wasn’t in the mood for joking.”
“And maybe you made a few cutting remarks about her boyfriend,” Connor murmured into his own glass.
“Ex-boyfriend,” Ron corrected with a scowl. “The guy was a doormat. Followed Haley around like a puppy. No personality of his own at all. I don’t know what she ever saw in him in the first place.”
The other two men exchanged an amused glance, and Ron figured they were thinking of Kris’s dimples or muscles or some of the other superficial attributes that had probably attracted Haley to the guy. Feeling his good mood begin to disintegrate, he quickly changed the subject, sharing a funny story from the wards. He was both pleased and relieved when his friends laughed and contributed a couple of amusing stories from their own experiences during the past couple of weeks, all being careful to follow privacy rules and not mention names or specifics about their patients.
Medical anecdotes he could handle. Talking about Haley and her good-looking ex-boyfriend—not so much.
“I’m glad you’re feeling better today, Ms. McMillan.” Haley smiled at the former Air Force nurse who sat in a recliner in a private room, snugly wrapped in a hospital blanket. She was still on supplemental oxygen as well as the antibiotics dripping into the IV tubing connected to her left arm, but her condition had improved considerably during the night. “It’s good that you feel well enough to sit up for a while.”
“Feels good to get out of that bed,” Georgia McMillan agreed with a firm nod of her gray head, followed by a rattling cough. Catching her breath, she eyed Haley narrowly. “Don’t smoke, do you?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Good. Don’t start.” She coughed more forcefully while Haley studied her chart.
“I won’t. Are you okay?”
Catching her breath, the patient waved off Haley’s question with one thin hand. “I’m as okay as I ever am these days. Feel a whole lot better than I did when I was admitted, anyway.”
“That’s good to hear.” Haley jotted a couple of notes on the back of Ms. McMillan’s H & P, then folded the paper and stuck it into her coat pocket.
“You look like you got some rest last night.”
A little surprised by the comment, Haley glanced up from the patient chart. “Yes, I slept very well, thank you.”
“I remember my medical training. Ain’t easy, is it?”
Chuckling, she pulled her stethoscope from another pocket. “No, ma’am, it isn’t.”
“Just hope you never have to practice in a tent with shells exploding around you.”
“I can’t imagine working under those conditions.”
Georgia enjoyed talking about her experiences in a war zone and Haley usually liked listening to the stories. Unfortunately, she was running a little behind this morning because of complications with one of her other two patients, and she was beginning to worry she wouldn’t have her notes completed in time for rounds. She mentally crossed her fingers that Dr. Cudahy wouldn’t choose today to show up early.
She was just preparing to leave the room when Georgia startled her yet again. “Has that boy asked you out yet?”
Haley paused in midstep toward the door. “Which boy is that, Ms. McMillan?”
“That cute blondish student with the sexy smile. The one who’s always grinning at you.”
Haley laughed self-consciously. “You mean Ron? He’s a friend. A classmate. We aren’t—”
“You might not be, but he is,” Georgia cut in with a wicked smile that showed a hint of the saucy young woman she’d once been.
Smiling wryly, Haley shook her head. “You don’t see the way he acts when we’re not on rounds. He goes to great lengths to tease and torment me.”
Her patient nodded as if Haley had just confirmed her theory. “Men are still just big boys at heart. That’s his way of letting you know he’s got a crush on you.”
“Oh, I don’t think so.”
“I watch him while you’re giving your presentations on rounds. He can’t take his eyes from you.”
Haley was growing accustomed to odd and sometimes inappropriate comments from her patients, but for some reason, this conversation flustered her. “He’s just paying attention, Ms. McMillan. That’s the whole point of our rounds, so we’ll learn about the various conditions of the patients we’re seeing.”
“Hmm. The other student pays attention, too, but not the same way that boy does. You mark my words, he’s got it bad for you. Don’t you be surprised when he makes his move. And if I were you, I’d take him up on it. Nice-looking young doctor with a sense of humor and kind eyes—a girl could do a whole lot worse, let me tell you. As someone who’s been married three times, I know a bit about winners and losers,” she added with a phlegmy cackle.
“Well, I, um—” Haley gave her patient a strained smile. “I’ve got to run, Ms. McMillan. I’ll see you again in a little while during rounds.”
The woman nodded, looking tired when her impish smile faded. “Send my nurse in here, will you? Think I’m ready to get back in that bed, after all.”
“I will.”
Haley made her escape, letting out a whoosh of breath when the door closed behind her. She had to find a nurse, locate an available computer, type her notes and be ready for rounds in just under twenty minutes.
She had a feeling she would have to make a massive effort not to be distracted by Georgia McMillan’s outrageous comments while she tried to concentrate on her work. The woman had to be mistaken that she’d seen anything meaningful in the way Ron looked at her. Probably just entertaining herself with some romantic imagining. Because it couldn’t possibly be true that Ron had feelings for her—could it?
Swallowing hard, Haley pushed that unsettling question to the back of her mind and hurried to find Ms. McMillan’s nurse.
Chapter Two
Late Thursday afternoon, after a long day of morning rounds and an afternoon spent being a resident’s minion, Haley gathered her things in preparation for heading home. She didn’t have to report in that weekend, and she planned to spend the next two days doing laundry, catching up on housework and preparing for next week’s lectures. That would be her last week on wards; after that, she would move to internal medicine outpatient clinic for four weeks before beginning her pediatrics rotation.
But before starting pediatrics, she had to pass the internal medicine board exam, or the “shelf exam,” she reminded herself. Which meant more cramming. She was aware that she would spend the rest of her professional life continuing her education and being tested on her knowledge, but that was okay. It was part of the career she’d chosen, and she knew how important it was for a physician to stay current on the newest procedures and treatments. At least she’d be earning a living, rather than going further into debt, once she completed her fourth year of medical school.
Ron fell into step beside her when she headed for the elevator. Her medical student white coat was still spotless and crisp, even after a hard day’s work. The roomy pockets were full, but neatly organized. Ron’s coat was rather wrinkled, his pockets crammed with instruments, notes and medical reference materials. The coat had looked exactly the same way when he’d arrived that morning. Beneath it, his blue dress shirt was correspondingly crumpled, his red-print tie slightly askew and his khaki slacks creased at the knees. Though he was clean shaven, his disheveled sandy hair fell boyishly over his forehead, making him look a bit younger than his twenty-seven years.
The rumpled look certainly worked for him. For some reason, rather than unprofessional or scruffy, he looked appealing and earnest, like a man who had more on his mind than vanity. She was well aware of the way other women smiled at him when he passed them in the hallways. Ron might not be as movie-star handsome as their friend James, but Ron had a sexy charm of his own that he didn’t hesitate to fall back on when necessary.
Not that she was at all susceptible to that charm, she assured herself. She knew him too well to step into that snare.
“Long day, huh?” he asked as he reached around her to press the elevator call button. His arm brushed hers with the movement, and she stepped a bit too quickly away, earning a quizzical look from him.
“Yes,” she said, shifting her purse strap higher on her shoulder, vaguely hoping he’d think her retreat had been due to a slipping bag. Glancing around to make sure no one could overhear, she added, “Paulsen was in a mood this morning, wasn’t he?”
“No kidding. Thought he was going to chew a piece off poor Hardik’s hide.”
“I’m glad I got Dr. Carr for my resident. I work very well with him.”
“Yeah. I get along fine with Dr. Prickett. Just Hardik’s bad luck that he got Paulsen.”
Everyone knew there were some residents and attendings who enjoyed their power a little too much, especially when it came to abusing med students, nurses and lowly interns. Paulsen was one of the difficult ones. The power hierarchy in a teaching hospital was rigidly layered, often repressing and politically complicated, and it wasn’t hard to get on a superior’s bad side. Haley was relieved that she’d drawn a more patient, if perpetually harried, resident for her first rotation.
The elevator doors opened to an empty car, and they stepped in. Haley leaned against the far wall from Ron, appreciating the support. She really was tired. Her empty stomach reminded her that she’d been able to take only a few minutes for a quick lunch earlier, and she hoped she had something in her kitchen to eat that wouldn’t require much preparation.
“Want to go have some coffee?” Ron asked during their descent to the lobby. “I could use some caffeine before I start prepping for tomorrow’s didactic.”
“Um…coffee?”
“Yeah. James is meeting me at the usual place in a few minutes. I thought you might like to join us.”
“Oh. You and James.”
Ron frowned at her. “Is something wrong, Haley? You’re acting kind of odd today.”
Drawing herself straighter, she shook her head. “No, I’m fine. Just kind of brain-dead after a draining day.”
And then, to further convince him that nothing at all had changed between them…and why should it have?…she said brightly, “I’d love to have coffee with you and James. I’ll meet you there.”
He still looked at her as though something puzzled him, but she kept her smile in place as she headed for her car. Only when she was buckled into the driver’s seat did she allow it to fade. What was she doing, letting a random comment from a fanciful patient interfere with her friendship with her study pal? She and Ron had had their share of conflict, but romantic yearnings had never been an issue. Their problems were due entirely to conflicting personality traits, all the more reason to put Georgia’s mistaken observations and unsolicited advice out of her mind.
She must be more tired than she had realized. She could use a cup of coffee and a few laughs with her friends.
Because Haley was delayed by a red light, Ron was the first to reach the coffee shop. He was already placing his order when she got in line, and had secured a small table when she joined him with her skinny vanilla latte. “Looks like we beat James here,” she commented, slipping into a plastic chair.
“Looks like.”
Ron took a cautious sip of his own hot drink. “I was tempted by those muffins, but I figured I’d better eat some real food first,” he said after swallowing. “Had a sandwich and some chips for lunch, but they’re long since worn off.”
“I got half a salad down before I had to run help my resident with something,” she admitted. “I’m starving.”
“Want to go next door for Chinese after we finish these? We’ll see if James wants to join us.”
The fast-food Chinese place next door was good, quick and relatively inexpensive, all points in its favor. Haley nodded. “Sure. I’ve got time for some noodles before I hit the books.”
“Great. I’m not in the mood to cook for myself tonight.”
“Neither am I.” She sipped her coffee, trying to decide whether she should repeat her conversation with Georgia to him. Ron would probably get a kick out of the older woman’s misguided matchmaking efforts. He loved to share amusing stories. But for some reason, she kept the patient’s observations to herself. Maybe they hadn’t been all that funny, after all. Just…mistaken.
They chatted about their workday for a few minutes more before being interrupted by the chirp of Ron’s phone. He slipped it from its belt holder and glanced at the screen. “Text from James. He’s not going to be joining us, after all.”
“Oh? Nothing’s wrong, I hope.”
“No. Just having trouble with his car again.”
James’s classic sports car was notorious for mechanical problems, about which the study group had teased him often.
Ron shook his head as he returned the phone to its holder after sending an acknowledgment of the message. “Don’t know why he doesn’t give up on that car and buy a new one.”
“He loves that old car.” The car seemed to be the only inanimate object James did truly value. He’d even given it a name. Terri. If there was any personal significance to the name, he’d never said.
“Way more trouble than it’s worth. I’d have dumped it a long time ago.”
But then, that was Ron’s stated philosophy, Haley mused, gazing into her coffee cup. If something didn’t work out, or was more trouble than he deemed worthwhile, he walked away without looking back. He’d even proclaimed that he was prepared to do the same with medical school. If his grades had slipped or he’d failed one of the critical tests, he’d have taken it as a sign to move on, he’d insisted.
Haley had made no effort to hide her disapproval of that attitude. She was of the “Try, try again” credo herself. Ron had teased her during their first year of studying together that “Never give up. Never surrender!” should be her motto. The allusion had sailed over her head until he’d hosted the study group one blessedly study-free Saturday afternoon for pizza and a showing of a sci-fi spoof movie that was one of his favorite films. He’d performed a bowing, fist-against-the-heart salute every time he’d seen her for several months afterward, until she’d finally threatened to dropkick his computer if he kept it up. Although he hadn’t believed her—entirely—he’d finally grown tired of the joke and moved on to another one.
He drained his coffee. “Ready for noodles?”
She’d already agreed to eat with him. It would be a little too obvious to cancel just because James wasn’t coming along, after all. Besides, why shouldn’t she share a quick meal with Ron? she could only blame Georgia McMillan and her silly imaginings for making her suddenly self-conscious around her friend.
Telling herself this foolishness would all be forgotten by tomorrow, she pushed her empty coffee cup aside and reached for her purse.
Ron couldn’t quite figure out what it was, but something was off with Haley. She seemed to be lost somewhere in her own thoughts, though she made an effort to participate in their conversation. He couldn’t read the expression in her eyes, and her smiles looked a little distant. She didn’t seem annoyed with him—a common enough occurrence that he knew how to recognize those signs—but neither was she fully connecting with him this evening.
Setting down his chopsticks, he studied her from across the little table in the crowded Chinese restaurant. “What’s going on, Haley?”
She frowned. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“You’re acting weird. Have been ever since we left work today. Have I done something to tick you off again?”
She twisted noodles on her own disposable chopsticks, and he wondered if she was deliberately avoiding his gaze. “Have I ever not let you know when you’ve ticked me off?” she asked wryly.
“Well, no. But I think I know you well enough to tell when something is bothering you. Did something happen at work today?”
“Not…exactly.”
“What does that mean?”
She sighed a little and looked up from her bowl. “One of my patients said something that caught me a little off guard, but it’s no big deal, okay? It was just an observation she made that I think was inaccurate.”
Conscious of the patient privacy laws that had been drilled into them, he glanced around to make sure no one could hear them before leaning a little closer to respond. “The only ‘she’ you have is the one who always winks at me when we come into her room on rounds. What did she say?”
Haley shook her head. “You know we’re not supposed to discuss our patients outside the hospital.”
“Not if it’s a privacy issue,” he agreed. “Is that what it was? Is there something your resident should know, and you’re wondering how to tell him?”
She shook her head again. “It’s nothing like that. She was just teasing me. Let it go, Ron, okay?”
“Fine.” He wondered if she would have been so reticent with Anne. Or even James or Connor. But then he told himself to stop taking it so personally that she was holding something back from him. It wasn’t as if they told each other everything.
He’d become increasingly aware lately that there were a lot of things he didn’t understand about Haley. One would think after knowing her for two years, he’d have learned all there was to discover. And yet, it felt sometimes as if he’d barely scratched the surface of Haley Wright.
She gave another little shake of her head, as if clearing her mind of whatever had been bothering her, and quickly changed the subject. “I met with the rest of the class officers this morning for another planning session for the big tailgate party in September. I think it’s going to be a lot of fun.”
Haley was the class vice president, and an active member of several committees. The whole class had been together every day during the first two years of classes and lectures; now that rotations had started, they would rarely all be in one place again. Haley was committed to making sure the class stayed connected as much as possible during these final two years of medical school. If it were up to her, they’d probably have monthly pep rallies designed to keep up morale and increase classmate bonding, he thought with a smothered grin.
“You are planning to go, aren’t you?” she asked when he didn’t immediately respond.
He shrugged. “Probably. I figure you’ll come after me if I don’t show up.”
She smiled. “You could be right.”
She had a pretty smile. It was one of the first things he’d noticed about her when they’d met. She’d sat beside him in their first class and their hands had collided when they’d both reached to plug in their computers to the same outlet. She’d smiled, and his heart had given a funny thump. He still remembered their first conversation.
“Aren’t you excited?” she had asked.
“I guess.”
“And a little nervous?”
He’d had no intention of letting her see that he was scared spitless. He had shrugged and drawled, “Nah. I figure if I bomb at doctoring, I can always become a mortician.”
Haley had blinked a couple of times, then smiled again. “We aren’t going to bomb. Not if we give it all we’ve got. Maybe we can work together sometime. We’ll find a few others who want to form a study group.”
He had realized immediately that he was sitting next to a cheerleader. It had been no surprise to learn in coming months that she had, indeed, been a cheerleader throughout school—not to mention senior class president, “Most Likely to Succeed” and a homecoming princess. Far from being one of the “mean girls,” Haley had probably been popular with everyone in her school. Teachers, other students, cafeteria workers, custodians—she’d have been equally pleasant to all of them, and she would have had their vote for any position she ran for. She just had that way about her.
There’d been times when her we-can-do-anything attitude had irked him. Especially when his own confidence and morale had been lowest. When he’d been convinced he would have to drop out of medical school and return to east Arkansas with his tail between his legs, proving his family right in their predictions that he would never make it all the way through.
It hadn’t taken him long to find the right tone to chip through Haley’s cheery optimism. He seemed to have a knack for setting off her temper, which most people probably never even saw. Yet as much as they irritated each other at times, he wasn’t at all sure he’d have made it through those first two years without her. And the rest of the study group members, too, he amended quickly.
They talked about the tailgate party plans for a few minutes, and then Haley set down her chopsticks. “I can’t eat any more. I’d better go home and study.”
“Yeah, me, too. You know, you could come over to my place. We could have some dessert, study a couple hours.”
She had studied at his apartment many times during the past two years. He wasn’t sure she’d ever been there without any other members of their study group, but it wouldn’t be so different with just the two of them, right? Just because he and Haley were the only ones of their group on this rotation didn’t mean they couldn’t still be study partners.
So why did she look so surprised by his suggestion? “Um—your place?”
He cocked an eyebrow at her. “Yeah. You remember—the loft apartment with the bare gray walls? The couch you said looks like it came through World War II—and lost?”
She sighed. “I remember your apartment. I was just…I really need to go home. I have to do laundry tonight or I’ll be doing rounds in cutoffs and a T-shirt tomorrow. Maybe we can study together another night?”
Something was definitely on Haley’s mind, but he suspected it would do him no good to ask her again what was bothering her. He simply nodded and stood to escort her to the door. They were both parked in front of the coffee shop; he accompanied her down the sidewalk to her car.
He placed a hand on her shoulder to detain her when she opened her car door and prepared to climb in. “Haley—”
She glanced at his hand, then his face. “Yes?”
“You know if there’s anything bothering you, I’m here for you, right? I mean, if you want to talk or if there’s anything you need…”
She went very still for a moment, then made a face, looking more like herself than she had all evening. “Thanks, Ron. I don’t know what’s wrong with me tonight. Just tired, I guess. Really, everything’s fine. But thanks for the concern.”
He searched her face, relieved to see that the smile was back in her eyes now. “You’re sure?”
“I’m sure. Really. Just tired.”
He chuckled. “Show me a medical student who isn’t tired.”
The smile in her eyes traveled to her lips, which tilted infectiously. “So true.”
His fingers tightened spasmodically on her shoulder. He loosened them quickly, turning the gesture into a friendly little pat. “Still, if there’s anything you need, you’ve got my number.”
“Thanks, Ron.” After a momentary hesitation, she smiled again and slid into her car. “See you tomorrow.”
“Yeah.” He stepped back quickly, narrowly missing having her car door slammed on his fingers. “See ya,” he murmured, watching her drive away.
Ron was passing an open hospital room door the next afternoon when a voice stopped him. “Hey. Dr. Gibson.”
Frowning in confusion, he paused and looked around, wondering if he’d misheard.
“Psst. Dr. Gibson.”
Following the sound of the woman’s voice, he stepped curiously into the open doorway. Wrapped in a thin white blanket, Georgia McMillan sat in a recliner near the windows, facing the hallway so she could watch people go by outside her room. An IV stand sat at one side of her chair, two bags dripping into the tubes inserted in her thin arm. On the other side of the chair, an oxygen tank pumped air into the tubes in her nose.
Her breathing rasped in the quiet room, but her smile was impish when she saw that she had his attention. “How’s it going, cutie?”
He grinned. “Fine, thank you, Ms. McMillan. And you?”
“Still hanging in.”
“Is there something I can do for you?”
She crooked a bony finger at him, inviting him into the room. Thinking of the list of tasks his resident had given him to complete within the next hour, he entered. She was probably just a little lonely. As far as he had observed, Ms. McMillan had no family. She wasn’t one of the three patients he’d been assigned—she was Haley’s responsibility—but since he saw her every morning on team rounds, she wasn’t a complete stranger to him.
“How are you feeling?” he asked her.
She waved off the question impatiently. “Same as always. Must be better, though, they’re letting me out of here tomorrow.”
“That’s good to hear.” She would be back, he knew, and probably soon. It was obvious even to a third-year student that her health was deteriorating.
“How’s your life outside of work?” she asked, her gaze locked on his face. “You got a girlfriend?”
He chuckled. “No, ma’am, not at the moment. I don’t have time for one.”
“Nonsense. There’s always time for a personal life. Don’t let your job consume you.”
“I’ll try not to.”
“What about that other pretty medical student? Haley? She’s not seeing anyone, either. I asked her.”
“What about her, Ms. McMillan?”
“Why don’t you ask her out? I really like her.”
“Well, yes, so do I, but Haley and I are just friends.”
She waved her unsteady hand again. “My third husband was my best friend. Only one of my marriages that lasted. We’d still be married today if he hadn’t flipped over his tractor while he was mowing a steep hill. I lost him four years ago. Still miss the silly puns he was always coming up with.”
“I’m sorry about your loss, ma’am.”
She nodded, then shrugged. “Just shows, you have to make the most of every moment. Me and Joe did that. We had a good twelve years together.”
“I’m glad you have those nice memories of him. But Haley and I aren’t—”
She gave a wheezy laugh. “You’re thinking I’m a nosy old biddy, and you’re right. Ain’t like I’ve got anything else to do in here but watch the staff and speculate about their private lives. I like Haley. She’s a sweetheart. And since I’m leaving here tomorrow and neither of you are working this weekend, I probably won’t get another chance to meddle with the two of you.”
“Ms. McMillan—”
“Take my advice, young man. Give that one a chance. She’s a keeper.”
He smiled, both amused and unnerved by the woman’s persistence. He really did like kids and seniors, even when their artless observations startled him at times. “I’ll keep your suggestion in mind, ma’am.”
She nodded in satisfaction. “You do that.”
“I really have to get back to work. Is there anything you need before I go?”
“No. That silly girl will be in here in a few minutes. The nurse’s aide. Talks a mile a minute, and giggles between every other word. Good at her job, though,” she added grudgingly.
“Okay. Have a good night, Ms. McMillan. It’s been a pleasure to meet you. I hope you continue to do well after you return home tomorrow.”
She shrugged, an acknowledgment of what they both knew about her prognosis. “You’re a nice young man. You’re going to be a damned good doctor. Good husband material, too.”
Chuckling, he moved toward the door. He’d have to tell Haley about this conversation. She’d get a kick out of—
He stopped abruptly in the doorway. With a slight frown, he turned to the patient again. “Ms. McMillan, you haven’t said anything to Haley about this, have you? About her and me, I mean?”
He could tell the answer from her expression.
“I might have mentioned that you seem like a good catch to me. And that you might be interested in her, judging from the way you look at her.”
“Huh. Well, maybe you shouldn’t mention anything like that again. Okay?”
She shrugged. “I’m leaving tomorrow, anyway. Probably won’t see her again. Just thought I’d plant a seed in a couple of young minds before I go.”
Giving her a little wave of farewell, Ron left the room. He didn’t realize he was scowling as he stalked down the hallway until a young volunteer jumped out of his way, looking warily at him when he passed.
Smoothing his expression, he pushed Ms. McMillan’s words to the back of his mind. He had work to do now. But he would be having a talk with Haley before the night was over.
Chapter Three
Haley sat at her table Friday evening reading an online medical article when someone rapped sharply on her door. She wasn’t expecting company and almost never had drop-by visitors, so the sound startled her. Though she’d shed her comfortable black flats, she still wore the pearl-colored summer sweater and pale gray slacks she’d donned for work, so at least she was decently dressed for company. Leaving the article on the computer screen, she walked across the living room and looked curiously through the peephole in the door.
“Ron?” Surprised, she opened the door. “What’s up?”
A frown creased his sandy brows and darkened his blue eyes. “Mind if I come in?”
He’d never dropped by without calling before; as far as she could remember, he’d never been there without the rest of the study group. Speculation about the reason for this visit made her hesitate a moment before answering.
His frown deepened. “Is this a bad time?”
He glanced beyond her, as though checking to see if she had other visitors.
“No, it’s fine.” She moved out of his way. “Come in.”
He walked to the center of the living room. Studying him somewhat warily, she closed the door. It wasn’t the first time she’d seen Ron in a bad mood, but it had been a while.
“Have a seat,” she said, waving toward the cushioned, cream-colored couch she’d bought for comfort as much for style. Her whole apartment was furnished with relaxation in mind; in addition to the couch, the living room featured a cushy green recliner, a brown leather club chair she’d found at an estate sale and trendily mismatched tables arranged for her guests’ convenience. She enjoyed entertaining, though she’d had little time for it since starting medical school, only hosting her study group on occasion. “Can I get you anything?”
He shook his head. “I was going to talk to you at the hospital, but you avoided me all afternoon.”
“I didn’t avoid you.” Of course, she hadn’t exactly gone looking for him, either, she admitted silently.
He pushed his hands into the pockets of his rumpled khaki slacks. “So it was just an accident that you were everywhere I wasn’t today?”
Feeling defensive now, she planted her hands on her hips. “I saw you on rounds this morning. I was very busy this afternoon. I’m sorry if that was inconvenient for you. What was it you wanted to talk to me about?”
“I visited one of your patients this afternoon. Georgia McMillan.”
“Oh.” She swallowed hard. “What made you do that?”
“She summoned me into her room when I was passing in the hallway.”
She knew Georgia enjoyed watching people pass in the hall, occasionally calling out greetings, so it was no surprise that she’d taken advantage of spotting Ron. Unfortunately. “Um—what did she say to you?”
“She wanted to give me some advice about my personal life.”
Haley sighed. She didn’t really have to ask what advice the romantically minded older woman had offered. “Yes, well, she seems to enjoy doing that.”
“Damn it, Haley.”
Defensiveness returned, crowding out embarrassment. It wasn’t as if she had any control over what her patient said when she wasn’t around. “What?”
“We’ve been friends for two years. Good friends, despite the rough patches.”
She nodded. “Yes, we have.”
“And you’re going to let one old woman’s ramblings drive a wedge between us now? After all the other obstacles our friendship has survived?”
He sounded genuinely angry, which—as always—triggered her own rare temper. It seemed to be a unique talent of his. “I’m doing no such thing.”
He was pacing now, though her small living space gave him room to take only three or four steps in each direction. “I knew something was bugging you yesterday. Couldn’t figure out why you weren’t meeting my eyes, why you jumped every time we made accidental contact. Why you started stuttering when I suggested we go to my place. To study, damn it.”
Two “damn its” in as many minutes. He really was irked.
“I told you I had to do laundry.”
“Yeah. And I’d never seen anyone look so eager to spend an evening with detergent and fabric softeners.”
“Look, Ron—”
He stopped in front of her, his gaze holding hers. “What I want to know is, why did you let what she said get to you that way? How come you didn’t come to me and laugh about it, the way we always do when something funny happens at work?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted with a sigh. “I just—okay, you’re right. I let her get to me. It embarrassed me, and I wasn’t sure how to—what to—well, you know.”
“What did she say that was so embarrassing?” He looked genuinely perplexed. “All she said to me was that you’re a sweetheart and I should ask you out. She giggled a little, and I grinned back at her. I thought you and I would get a laugh out of it, but then I realized that she must have said something similar to you yesterday. And that the unsettling patient comment you mentioned last night must have been hers. So what did she say to you that was so disconcerting?”
She had no intention of telling him Georgia had implied that Ron was in love with her. Sure, they should be able to laugh about that—but for some reason, Haley didn’t find it all that funny. “She just went on about what a good catch you are and how I should make an effort to land you. As if you were a prized fish or something. I tried to tell her you and I are good friends, but she just wouldn’t let it go. I guess that conversation was still on my mind when you suggested we have coffee and dinner.”
“And when I invited you to my place to study.”
“I really did need to do laundry,” she muttered, glancing down at her hands, which were now clenched in front of her.
He shook his head. “I still don’t understand why it shook you up so much for her to suggest I’ve got a thing for you. I thought it was funny.”
It was only natural, she assured herself, that her feminine ego would be a little piqued by that. “I guess I was just more tired than I realized.”
The prevarication didn’t seem to satisfy him completely, but he nodded. “So we’re good, then?”
She gave him a smile she hoped looked completely natural. “Of course we are.”
To her relief, he smiled in return, his usual good humor returning to his warm blue eyes. “You don’t think I’m going to lure you to my lair so I can jump your bones?”
She sighed gustily, her usual response to his teasing. “No, Ron, I don’t think you’re going to jump my bones,” she said drily, making him laugh.
“Good. Now that that’s settled, can I have a sandwich?”
She blinked a couple of times, then glanced toward the table, where a barely touched ham sandwich still sat on a plate next to her computer. “Of course. Sit down, I’ll make you one.”
Sensing that she needed a change of subject, he talked about work while she moved around the small kitchen, assembling another sandwich and adding a handful of chips and pickles to the plate. She set the plate and a glass of lemonade in front of him, then took her own seat as she responded to his conversational lead. It was much easier to concentrate on their training than…well, other things.
Because he was there and they were already talking about school, it seemed only logical to spend some time studying together after they’d eaten. Their lecture on the following Monday would be about antibiotic-resistant, hospital-acquired infections, so they discussed the topic together, quizzing each other on their knowledge so they would be prepared if their attending physician aimed questions at either of them.
Settling into their practiced study routine, Haley was able to relax and put the former awkwardness aside, to her relief. Ron fell back into teasing, to which she responded with her usual retorts.
As so often was the case, she picked up the information a bit more quickly than Ron—memorization just came easier to her than to him, though once he internalized the material, he retained it well. When she sensed he was becoming frustrated, she tactfully boosted his morale by reminded him how well he’d been doing in the rotation. Clinical skills were his strong point; the fact that he struggled a bit more with the memorization just meant everyone had different learning styles and strengths, which she had lectured more than once during the past two years.
When both were satisfied they were prepared for Monday’s lecture, Ron glanced at his watch and stood to leave. “Thanks for the sandwich. And the study help,” he added, moving toward the door.
She walked with him so she could lock up behind him. “You helped me, too,” she assured him. “It’s always easier to study with someone.”
Rounding the end of the couch to join him at the door, she stumbled over a strap of the computer bag she’d left lying on the floor. She threw out a hand to steady herself, bumping against the lamp on the end table. She had no trouble preventing a fall, but the hematite bracelet she’d donned that morning caught on the lamp. Shiny, gray-black stones scattered at her feet when the elastic cording snapped.
“Darn it.” She bent to scoop up stones, sweeping one hand beneath the couch to retrieve a couple that had tumbled under there.
Ron helped her, plucking a stone from beneath the end table, another from the top of the table. “I don’t see any more.”
“Thanks.” She shook her head. “Clumsy of me.”
“Can you have the bracelet restrung?”
“I’ll restring it myself when I have time. Kris gave it to me. The stones are hematite—supposed to be calming and grounding.”
“Oh.” He dropped the stones he held into her open hand as if they’d suddenly turned hot. She knew he’d never cared for Kris. She’d always assumed it was simply a personality clash.
“Okay, I’m off. See you Monday. Have a good weekend.”
“You, too.” She caught the door when he opened it, preparing to lock it behind him.
Ron turned on the step outside her ground-floor apartment, the familiar look in his eyes warning her that he was going to say something outrageous. “Hey, Haley?”
Her lips twitched. “Yes, Ron?”
“To make it clear—I find your bones totally jumpable. Just don’t want to do anything to mess up a good friendship, you know?”
“Um—” She had no idea how she was supposed to respond to that.
Laughing, he turned and walked away.
After a moment, she shook her head, then shut the door with a bit more force than necessary.
Trust Ron to make such an odd joke out of a situation that had already been awkward enough, she thought with a sigh of exasperation.
She spent the rest of the evening wondering at random times if Ron really found her “jumpable.”
Rounds on Monday morning went very well. Haley and Hardik had no difficulty with their patient presentations, and Ron sailed through his. To Haley’s relief, Ron was his usual self, cutting up with everyone equally, treating her as he always did. There was no more talk of bone-jumping or self-consciousness. Georgia McMillan had been released on Saturday, so they weren’t subjected to her blatant matchmaking. Telling herself it had been only a temporary glitch in their friendship, Haley was assured they could put it behind them and go on as they had been.
She was very busy that afternoon, practically running from one assigned task to another, taking only a half hour for a lunch break. She didn’t see Ron until late in the afternoon. She had just stepped into the students’ room to type up some notes when he walked in.
“Hi, Ron, how’s your afternoon…oh, my gosh, what happened?”
Though she remembered that he’d worn a white shirt, red tie and gray slacks beneath his white coat that morning, he wore blue hospital-issue scrubs now. His expression was so grim she knew something must have gone very wrong for him.
The spots of dark color on his cheeks indicated either anger or embarrassment, maybe a mixture of both. He spoke from between clenched teeth. “I screwed up. Big-time. Damn it.”
Pushing herself out of the computer chair, she took a step toward him. “What did you do?”
“Dr. Cudahy let me remove a patient’s central line. I’ve done that a couple of times before with my preceptor, so I felt pretty confident. Thought I’d impress the attending and the resident. Like an idiot, I pulled out the line—and forgot to put pressure on the site.”
Haley winced, imagining the arterial blood spurt that would have resulted. “I hope you and the patient were the only ones in the vicinity?”
“Oh, no. That would have been bad enough, of course, but Drs. Cudahy and Prickett were standing close enough at the time that we all got splattered. Prickett and I were wearing paper gowns, so only our collars and pants were hit, but Dr. Cudahy thought she was standing far enough away to be safe. She wasn’t. She got sprayed. She had to go change into scrubs.”
Haley could imagine how humiliated Ron must be feeling right now. It was bad enough to make a mistake in front of a resident, but even more galling to have the attending be both a witness to and a victim of the error.
She was tempted to remind Ron that she’d warned him to be more serious and resist his natural inclination to perform. But this wasn’t the time for I-told-you-so. Right now, he just needed a friend.
She rested a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry, Ron. I know that must have been embarrassing. But everyone makes mistakes. Dr. Cudahy and Dr. Prickett know that. I’m sure they’ve made more than a few, themselves.”
Her words didn’t seem to help much. She could still see bitter self-recrimination in his expression. “It was such a stupid thing to do. Any moron should have known to apply pressure. They probably all think I’m an idiot.”
“They don’t think you’re an idiot.”
“I am an idiot. Damn it.”
He was taking this relatively minor setback much harder than he should. Haley knew Ron had a streak of insecurity hiding behind his wisecracks and devil-may-care attitude. It had made an appearance during an outburst in the study group when he’d accused himself of holding the others back, implying that they’d all been carrying him through the first two years of classes and exams. He’d even offered to leave the group if they’d thought he wasn’t up to their level, to everyone’s shock.
They’d firmly assured him that he was as valuable a member of the group as any of them, and that not one of them had ever considered him a liability. Not even Haley, even though she’d occasionally complained that he didn’t take his studies seriously enough and that he was too willing to accept the possibility that he could wash out before the end of medical school. She’d challenged him to be more positive, to stop playing the clown and be more serious and more determined to succeed against all odds, but she’d never even suggested he didn’t belong among them.
She’d wondered ever since what lay behind that deeply buried self-doubt. From the very few remarks he’d made about his family, she strongly suspected the lack of confidence had been instilled years earlier. Setbacks like this, though more galling than significant, just seemed to reinforce his own self-doubt. What he needed more than the sympathy she’d already offered, she decided, was a metaphorical slap to rouse him from the self-pity party.
“You screwed up, Ron,” she said, keeping her tone matter-of-fact. “It wasn’t the first time, and it certainly won’t be the last. Suck it up and get over it. You won’t make that particular mistake again.”
He blinked a couple of times, then frowned. “Yeah, you wouldn’t be so casual about it if you’d given Dr. Cudahy and your resident a blood shower.”
“I’d want to find a deep hole and climb into it,” she admitted frankly. “But then I’d tell myself to keep going and do better next time. It’s what I always do when I make a mistake—and I’ve made my share.”
He nodded, his expression hard to read. She wondered if her words had really made an impression or if he was just placating her when he said, “Yeah, okay, thanks. You’re right, of course.”
“Ron—”
His mouth tilted into his usual cocky grin and he shrugged, cutting in with a dry laugh. “Hey, I got a good story out of it, right? Connor and James are going to love this. Hell, by the time I embellish it a little, it’ll be hysterical. Wait until I tell them about the looks on Prickett’s and Cudahy’s faces.”
She knew he would give no further insight into his feelings about the incident. She’d just happened to see him before he’d had a chance to erect his usual barriers, to hide his true emotions behind what she thought of as his jester’s grin. Had she run into him a couple of hours later, she’d have heard the funny story and completely missed the distress beneath it.
It bothered her that he still felt the need to hide those feelings from her. From all his friends, she corrected herself quickly. There was no reason to think he’d be any more forthcoming with her, in particular, than with the others.
“You’re sure you’re okay?” she felt compelled to ask.
There was no reading the expression behind his eyes when he replied, “Oh, sure. I just need some clean clothes and a big ol’ chunk of chocolate cake. Wouldn’t have any on you, would you?”
She forced a little smile in return. “Not at the moment. But I’ll make you one later, if you like.”
“A pity cake?” He gave a short laugh and patted her cheek in a gesture that made her go from wanting to comfort him to wanting to punch him. “That’s our Haley. Always there to boost the morale.”
Before she could answer, he dropped his hand and moved toward the doorway. “I’d better go finish my assignments. See you tomorrow, Haley.”
He was gone before she could respond.
Ron parked in the lot of Haley’s apartment building Wednesday evening, then sat looking at her window for a few minutes. He was there to study for the shelf exams they would take at the end of their medicine rotation. They’d invited Hardik to join them. He’d agreed, but he’d said he might be running a little late and urged them to start without him.
It annoyed Ron that he was oddly hesitant to be alone with Haley until Hardik arrived.
A few days earlier, he’d been irritated with Haley for letting her matchmaking patient’s teasing put awkwardness between them. Now he was the one feeling awkward because he’d let her see his chagrin at the careless mistake he’d made in front of his resident and attending.
They hadn’t discussed the incident since, though there had been some ribbing from his resident during rounds Tuesday morning. Haley had not joined in the teasing, and she’d been quick to change the subject as soon as she was able. She’d considered herself rescuing him, he supposed.
He shouldn’t be so perturbed that Haley knew about his gaffe. As she’d reminded him, they all did something wrong at some point in their training. Not that he’d heard of her doing anything as stupid as he had that afternoon. What galled him the most was that she’d seen him before he’d had a chance to hide his embarrassment and resulting self-doubt.
Telling himself he would just laugh it off if she brought it up this evening, turning the whole incident into a self-directed joke as he always did, he exited his vehicle. She probably wouldn’t even mention it, unless she felt compelled to give him another bracing pep talk.
As he walked toward her door, he found himself hoping she’d made that chocolate pity cake. He wouldn’t turn down chocolate, no matter what the motive behind the offering.
Already wearing his usual practiced grin, he rang her doorbell. The grin faded when he saw her face. She was smiling, and her makeup looked freshly applied—neither of which deceived him. He knew her too well. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Come on in, I made that cake I promised you.”
Even cake couldn’t distract him from this. “You’ve been crying. What happened?”
She sighed. “I didn’t think you would be able to tell.”
He closed the door behind him without ever taking his gaze from her face. “I can tell. What’s wrong?”
If she told him this was a personal problem and none of his business, he supposed he would have to let it go. But he wanted her to know he was here for her if she needed a shoulder.
He saw her throat work with a swallow and sensed her internal debate. And then she sighed and shrugged. “Kylie Anderson called me a few minutes ago. Mr. Eddington went into cardiac arrest and died suddenly this afternoon. Half an hour after I left the hospital.”
Ron grimaced. “I’m sorry, Haley. I know he was one of your favorites.”
She blinked rapidly. “Yes. He was a sweet guy. Always smiling and teasing. Though he knew he didn’t have long, he was hoping to go home in the next few days to spend a little more time with his family.”
He rested a hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry. But don’t forget the burn-out lectures we’ve heard. You have to leave it at the hospital. You can’t bring it home with you.”
She shook her head. “I know. And I’m not going to let it affect my work. It’s just sad, that’s all.”
Ron had always believed Haley would be an excellent physician. His only concern had been that she would take it all too personally. Get too involved with her patients, fret about the ones who wouldn’t take care of themselves, and grieve over the ones who lost their ultimate fights. That was just Haley’s personality—all heart. And hearts, he had learned long ago, were too easily broken.
“So you’re okay?”
She smiled. “I am. Thanks for asking.”
Not entirely convinced, he shook his head. “You are going to have to guard against burnout, you know. You care too much.”
Her left eyebrow rose slightly. “I happen to think a doctor should care about her patients.”
“There’s caring. And then there’s caring too much.”
“Okay, I get your message. Now how about some cake?”
At least she didn’t look so sad anymore, he decided before letting her sidetrack him. “Chocolate?”
The look she gave him was wry. “Would I make you any other kind?”
Laughing, he tapped her chin with his knuckles. “What a pal.”
She moved quickly toward the kitchen. Had he caught just a glimpse of a flush on her cheeks before she’d turned away— and if so, how had he embarrassed her this time? By catching her at a weak moment? Seemed like that was only fair, since she’d seen him in a few.
After only a momentary hesitation, he followed her into the small kitchen, reaching into his pocket as he walked. Haley was already slicing into a thickly frosted, dark chocolate cake that made his mouth water just to look at it. The scent of freshly brewed coffee filled the air, mingling with the chocolate aroma. Though he’d eaten dinner earlier, he was suddenly hungry again.
“That looks really good.”
She smiled and set a plate holding a good-sized slice of cake on the table. “Coffee or milk?”
“Milk now. Coffee later.”
She nodded and started to turn toward the fridge. He stopped her by catching her arm with his left hand. “Haley. I brought you something.”
Her eyebrows rose when she looked up at him. “What did you bring?”
Feeling a little foolish, he held his right hand out to her. A bracelet of polished pink stones strung on elastic cording and tied with a jaunty little bow lay on his palm. “I know it’s not like the one you broke, but I saw it in the hospital gift shop and I thought of you.”
She blinked a couple of times, her long lashes sweeping down to hide the expression in her eyes. “You bought me a bracelet?”
Resisting the urge to scuff his toe on her floor like an embarrassed schoolboy, he shrugged. “I was buying a candy bar—needed my afternoon sugar fix, you know—and I saw it displayed on the counter. It wasn’t all that expensive, but I thought it was kind of nice. The hospital auxiliary always needs money and you broke your bracelet and you’ve been helping me study, so…Anyway, it won’t hurt my feelings if you don’t like it.”
She plucked the bauble from his hand with a smile that wavered a bit. “I like it very much. Thank you, Ron.”
“I don’t know what the stones are, or what they mean or anything like that. Don’t know if they’ll ground you or bring you wisdom or whatever. I just thought they were kind of pretty.”
“I think so, too.” She slipped the bracelet on her wrist and twisted her hand to admire it there. “Very pretty. Thanks again. I’ll get your milk.”
The doorbell rang. Ron started a little, then laughed at himself as he shook his head. “That’ll be Hardik. Guess he got away earlier than he expected. I’ll let him in. You’d better cut another big piece of cake.”
“I’ll do that.”
The stones were pink opal. A stone of peace and tranquility. A healing stone.
A stone of love.
Ron wouldn’t have known any of that, of course, Haley mused as she pulled the bracelet lightly between her fingers later that evening. He’d bought the bracelet because he’d thought it was pretty. Because he’d thought she might like it.
Because she had broken the one Kris gave her.
She set the bauble on her dresser and pulled a pair of silky pajamas from the top drawer. She and Hardik and Ron had put in a solid three hours of studying. Worthwhile, but draining.
Closing the drawer, she touched the bracelet again before turning away to get ready for bed.
Haley was glad to move on to the outpatient diagnostic clinic at the end of the month. She had a new resident, a new attending and new duties. Every morning she was assigned one patient for whom she conducted a full history and physical. Her resident then did a more focused physical based on the patient’s complaints, and then created a treatment plan.
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