The Secret Son's Homecoming
Helen Lacey
To learn to love. He must let go. . .After spending years avoiding his father, Jonah Rickard is forced to return home for a wedding where he’s bought face-to-face with Connie Bedford. The only woman to ever threaten his hardened heart, Connie knows she must use all her love to save Jonah and, maybe, his family…
TO LEARN TO LOVE...HE WILL HAVE TO LET GO...
The illegitimate son of the wealthiest man in Cedar River, Jonah Rickard spent his life avoiding his father. Forced back home for a wedding, he’s brought face-to-face with the only woman to ever threaten his hardened heart. Connie Bedford knows what it is to be haunted by the past, betrayed by trust...scared by desire. Years ago, Jonah’s father saved her. Now only Connie and her love can save Jonah—and, maybe, his family...
HELEN LACEY grew up reading Black Beauty and Little House on the Prairie. These childhood classics inspired her to write her first book when she was seven, a story about a girl and her horse. She loves writing for Mills & Boon True Love, where she can create strong heroes with soft hearts and heroines with gumption who get their happily-ever-afters. For more about Helen, visit her website, www.helenlacey.com (http://helenlacey.com).
Also by Helen Lacey (#u83894676-f765-5f75-b9f4-1454c086eac6)
A Kiss, a Dance & a Diamond
The Rancher’s Unexpected Family
Married to the Mom-to-Be
The Cowgirl’s Forever Family
Lucy & the Lieutenant
Three Reasons to Wed
A Fortunes of Texas Christmas
The CEO’s Baby Surprise
Claiming His Brother’s Baby
Once Upon a Bride
Discover more at millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
The Secret Son’s Homecoming
Helen Lacey
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
ISBN: 978-1-474-07790-3
THE SECRET SON’S HOMECOMING
© 2018 Helen Lacey
Published in Great Britain 2018
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF
All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.
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www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
For Robert
Who walks beside me
and catches my hand whenever I fall.
Contents
Cover (#uaa679274-6166-5891-a363-bf35b6b25469)
Back Cover Text (#u52af0eb4-9cd8-53d6-8cb9-33ca8deb0bc3)
About the Author (#ubea351d2-f154-5312-8441-aa9e852c887d)
Booklist (#u61f15355-5ab1-5f73-b88a-422f9adfbd25)
Title Page (#uf8893abf-9b3b-5b26-87c2-d6afefd3627a)
Copyright (#u90d25681-9514-52ce-a868-5a9ec92e7deb)
Dedication (#u4047e6ba-c308-5e56-8983-7d63680e75bf)
Chapter One (#u65eb25c8-7c96-55f5-9549-b5cd581b1111)
Chapter Two (#uc61e1dc9-9ced-5249-8877-4235aa8c9c21)
Chapter Three (#u4adbd806-ec87-5e6e-a011-5c5c85c86067)
Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#u83894676-f765-5f75-b9f4-1454c086eac6)
Connie Bedford knew from experience that regrets were pointless. She also knew that foolish behavior could not be undone—only not repeated. And she certainly had no intention of repeating the foolishness she’d carried out with the man standing across the dance floor from her.
Jonah Rickard.
Six feet plus of dark-haired, broad-shouldered, blue-eyed handsomeness that made her knees weak and turned her good sense to mush every time he was within a few feet of her.
Everyone had a weakness, she told herself. For some, it was chocolate or champagne. For others, it was extreme sports and adrenaline rushes. For Connie, it seemed as though it was Jonah. Even though she knew he was bad news and that he didn’t appear to feel anything for her other than disdain.
And she didn’t like him, either. Not really. It was simple chemistry. Alchemy. A straight-up physical reaction. The fact that it was still wreaking havoc with her good sense even though that crazy night had been over ten months ago frustrated her beyond belief. Particularly considering that every time she’d seen him since, each encounter had been even more awkward than the last. And it wasn’t as though anything had really happened. Just a few minutes of insane impulsiveness. It should have been easy to forget.
I’m the master of forgetting things. I can forget this, too.
“Earth to Connie?”
She instantly turned on her heels. Nicola Radici stood behind her. Nicola O’Sullivan now, she corrected herself. And the very reason that Connie was at the O’Sullivan ranch. She’d had three weeks to help prepare her friend for the Cedar River wedding of the year, and she was delighted that the whole day had gone off without any drama. The tent, the tasteful decorations, the lighting, the electric fire pits keeping the cold early November air at bay—it was a dreamy and beautiful event. And Nicola looked amazing in her antique lace gown. Connie was thankful and happy that all the preparations had come together and the bride and groom had had a lovely ceremony. What didn’t make her happy was the fact that Jonah was the groom’s half brother, and since she was a bridesmaid, she knew she was about ten minutes away from being partnered with him on the dance floor.
Because the last thing in the world that she wanted was to be in his arms.
Again.
She shook off the memory of his touch suddenly seeping through her blood and tried to think about anything other than Jonah’s arms, or any other part of him, for that matter. She half turned and faced the bride, plastering a smile on her face that was so sweet it made her teeth hurt.
“Sorry,” she said to the smiling bride. “I’m in personal-assistant mode, just making sure everything’s going off without a hitch.”
Nicola, her beautiful face beaming, grasped Connie’s arm. “You did an amazing job organizing everything so quickly. I can’t thank you enough for making this happen.”
“It wasn’t all my doing,” she said and grinned. “I’m a little OCD and like to be really organized. And you’re my friend, so I wanted to do this.”
“Today wouldn’t have happened without you,” Nicola assured her. “Now, have you seen my handsome husband?”
Connie curled her thumb toward the buffet table. “Over there.”
Sure enough, Kieran O’Sullivan stood by the buffet, alongside his elder brother, Liam, his younger brother, Sean...and Jonah. Half brother to the three O’Sullivan siblings. Born out of a secret relationship their father, J. D. O’Sullivan, had with then-eighteen-year-old Kathleen Rickard. The whole situation was revealed when Liam, the eldest son, eloped with Kayla Rickard, Kathleen’s niece. The Rickards and the O’Sullivans had been sworn enemies for thirty years—and Jonah was the secret spanning those decades. J.D. had, essentially, two separate families. One in Cedar River, South Dakota—the other in Portland, Oregon.
As Liam’s personal assistant at the big O’Sullivan hotel in town, and a family friend, Connie had been privy to the entire situation for the past year. It was complicated and messy and had resulted in the end of J.D. and Gwen O’Sullivan’s thirty-five-year marriage. But for the sake of their children and grandchildren, with some time and effort, the O’Sullivans and the Rickards had somehow managed to put aside their grievances and bitterness and tried to cobble together an uneasy truce from the fallout.
Well, except for Jonah.
He still clearly hated J.D. and resented the fact that his beloved mother had moved back to Cedar River so she could heal her estranged relationship with her own aging mother and brother. Yeah, complicated didn’t cover the half of it. And it wasn’t as though the O’Sullivan brothers hadn’t tried to include Jonah in the reconciliation of the family—including J.D. It was just that Jonah was stubborn and his sole focus appeared to be protecting his mother—and resenting his father.
If she was a sensible woman—and she’d always considered herself to be—Connie knew she would put all thoughts of Jonah out of her mind and forget he existed. Like he had with her. Since he’d pretty much ignored her every time they’d met during the past ten months.
“They really are a good-looking bunch,” Nicola said and grinned, gesturing toward the brothers, who were all dressed in dark gray suits with a flower at the lapel. “Don’t you think?”
Connie managed an idle shrug. “Sure,” she replied, thinking that they were all so handsome it was quite ridiculous. “An unfairly good gene pool.”
As if on cue, Connie noticed, Kieran looked across the tent and made visual contact with his bride. The love between the newlyweds was palpable, and Connie experienced an acute sense of loneliness that made her heart ache. Which was silly, because she never considered herself to be lonely. She had a small circle of friends, and the O’Sullivans, of course, whom she cared for deeply and knew the feeling was reciprocated. But this was different. Nicola and Kieran were in love. Something Connie had never known, and considering her past, she wondered if she ever would. That kind of love imbued complete and utter trust in the other person—and Connie wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to offer that to anyone. Or be vulnerable enough to accept it in return.
“I think I’m wanted,” Nicola said on a sort of dreamy sigh before she gave Connie’s arm a gentle squeeze and then floated across the dance floor.
Connie watched as the bride and groom met, just in time for the music to start. It was an old song, with lyrics about finding someone who made life worthwhile, and before long more members of the wedding party headed out to join them. Dread etched along every nerve she possessed, because Connie knew she was next. She brushed her hands down the long, deep purple–colored dress, made the pointless gesture of smoothing her hair in its perfect chignon and then took a step. And then another. And another.
It took exactly nine steps to reach him, and she experienced the same crazy rush of blood through her veins, the same heightened sense of awareness that being around him evoked. Never in her life had she reacted to anyone the way she reacted to him. And she didn’t understand it. Why Jonah? He was aloof. He was indirectly disrespectful to the O’Sullivans. And he was a horse’s ass. Sure, he was attractive and had incredible blue eyes...but she’d never been particularly drawn to good looks. And since he’d been unconscionably rude to her ten months earlier, she should have gotten over her infatuation, pronto.
She sucked in a breath, took another step and found herself meeting his gaze. Something flickered in his eyes, a kind of intense awareness that weakened her knees and amplified the knowledge that she really was the biggest fool of all time.
“Miss Bedford,” he said and held out his hand.
Connie pressed her mouth together. He never used her first name. He kept the divide between them as wide as he could, and she assumed that focusing on her professional relationship with his family made it easier for him. He obviously didn’t like her. Well, it was a mutual feeling.
Except...she didn’t really want to be that way with Jonah. No, what she felt toward him was something else. Something she didn’t quite have the courage to acknowledge.
She experienced a quiver across her skin as their fingertips connected, and then his hand closed over hers and he drew her closer. The cologne he wore was subtle and masculine and assailed her senses instantly, latching onto her memory like a narcotic. And suddenly she was back inside his hotel room, back feeling his hands roam across her skin, experiencing the possession of his mouth on hers. She’d been all too ready to get lost in the moment of passion... Until another memory had kicked in, one that had a familiar and polarizing effect right to her core.
His grip tightened fractionally, as though he’d recognized she was on the verge of flight mode.
“Relax,” he said quietly, moving one arm around her waist. “It’s just a dance.”
Connie swallowed hard, ignored her pounding heart and told herself he was right. It was just a dance. And it would soon be over. He’d release her. She’d be free to scurry back to the sidelines where she could forget all about her crazy overreaction to Jonah Rickard.
She stepped on his foot and wobbled. “Sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he said blandly, his hold around her waist firm but unthreatening.
Her eyes barely reached his chin, even in her heels, and she curled one hand over his shoulder, balancing herself. “I’m not much of a dancer.”
“I noticed.”
One thing about Jonah Rickard—he could make any remark sound like an insult without so much as batting an eyelid. “I wasn’t sure you’d be here,” she said, aiming for a dig.
His shoulders tensed fractionally. “It’s my half brother’s wedding.”
He always said half brother. He would never acknowledge the O’Sullivans as anything other than an unwanted part of his DNA.
“You didn’t RSVP,” she said, one brow up, trying to keep her feet moving to the ridiculously romantic song playing in the background. “For yourself or a guest.”
He made a soft scoffing sound. “Is that a roundabout way of asking if I’m seeing anyone at the moment?”
Color seeped up her neck, and she gritted her back teeth. “Certainly not. It’s just polite to let people know these things...that is, if you actually care about other people.”
His jaw tightened. “I told Kieran I’d be a groomsman. I didn’t realize that came with a contractual obligation.” He glanced at his watch and his mouth twitched. “Two whole minutes and we’re already on the verge of an argument... That might be a record, Miss Bedford.”
“Would you stop calling me that?”
“No.”
Irritation coursed across her skin.
“You’re such a jerk. I can’t believe I almost...”
Her words trailed off as shame and humiliation found its way into her blood and then took root through to her bones. The song changed and Connie thought it was her chance to escape, to pull free of his embrace and leave him standing in the middle of the dance floor. The more she considered it, the more she realized that his hold on her had loosened and he was almost inviting her to bail.
“I don’t think either of us needs a trip down memory lane,” he said, low into her ear, almost in a whisper. “Do we?”
“Coming to my senses before it was too late was the smartest thing I’ve ever done,” she snapped tightly.
“Is that what you did?” he inquired, his voice so soft she felt herself lean closer so she could hear him.
“Yes. But I...”
“You...what?” he queried when her words trailed off.
Connie quickly recalled everything that had transpired that night. She’d willingly gone to his room. She’d willingly responded to his kisses. And then she’d changed her mind. In his defense, he’d done nothing dishonorable. He’d hadn’t tried to sway her or convince her to betray her principles with words or actions or made her feel threatened in any way. She’d said no, and he’d accepted it. Even so, he clearly still resented her for rejecting him.
In hindsight, she couldn’t believe she’d behaved in such an out-of-character fashion. She didn’t do hotel rooms or spend the night with guys she hardly knew. At the time she’d only met him on a couple of occasions. It had been his first visit to Cedar River, the first time he’d met his extended family. She worked for his brother and should have steered clear of him for obvious reasons. Muddying waters wasn’t her thing. Complicated wasn’t her thing. Neither was drama. She’d had enough of that in the past to last her a lifetime.
“I didn’t mean to lead you on,” she said softly.
He shrugged loosely. “It doesn’t matter now. Let’s just keep ignoring one another. For the sake of harmony, it’s probably better that way.”
Then he released her, turned on his heel and walked off, leaving her standing in the center of the dance floor and realizing that he’d done exactly what she’d wanted to do to him.
* * *
Jonah wasn’t sure what it was about Connie Bedford that pushed his buttons so much.
But she did.
Big time.
And it wasn’t only about that night ten months earlier. Sure, she’d dented his ego. There was something about her that got under his skin. And no one, ever, did that. He’d spent his life keeping pretty much everyone—except his mother—at a figurative arm’s length. It made it easier to hold on to resentment, to hate his father and remain cautious about getting too close to his newfound half siblings. Now he had family everywhere he looked—a grandmother, an uncle, a cousin, nieces and nephews...the list appeared to keep on growing. And now that Kieran was married to Nicola, no doubt there would be more babies on the way in the future.
Having to fake a familial connection with so many people was exhausting. So he didn’t waste energy doing it. Which meant everyone thought he was arrogant and unlikable. And maybe he was. But he didn’t have anything to prove, and all he cared about was ensuring his mom was safe and happy. She was his family. Not these strangers who looked so much like him.
Because that’s what they were. Strangers. His life was filled with them. Each one trying to take a piece of him, trying to make him fit in. The truth was, fitting in with them didn’t interest him. He wasn’t and never would be an O’Sullivan. He didn’t need J.D.’s last name, his money or the legacy that came with both of those things. He only wanted his mother to be happy, and since she’d decided to move back to Cedar River, a small town in the shadow of the Black Hills, he found himself commuting from Portland more often than he liked. Something he’d do until he was sure his mother was settled and happy. He stayed at Kieran’s old apartment and minded his own business, unless he was forced to hang out with his half brothers.
He’d become used to them interfering over the past few months—particularly Liam and Kieran, since Sean lived in California and rarely made it back to Cedar River. The older O’Sullivan siblings seemed to have made inclusion part of their DNA. And it irritated the hell out of him. Jonah didn’t want to be a part of their family. He had enough going on working out a way to fit in with the Rickards.
And to top it off, there was Connie. Blond hair, gray eyes, curves in all the right places. Liam’s personal assistant, a family friend and so far under his skin he couldn’t bear to be in the same room as her. She had him under some kind of crazy, lustful spell, and he acted like a jerk every time they were together.
Of course, it was just sex.
He wanted to get her into bed.
End of story.
Their aborted make-out session had stupidly only amplified his desire for her. Of course, she had every right to change her mind, but he couldn’t help thinking that she’d become spooked in some way and that’s why she’d put the brakes on and then fled. He had no idea what he’d done to make her react that way because she’d left his room without an explanation. Now they couldn’t share a few words of conversation without it becoming a resentment-fueled disagreement. Not that he wanted to get cozy and friendly with Connie Bedford. He didn’t do that with anyone. But he had enough going on without the added aggravation of a certain blonde bombarding his thoughts every time he came to visit his mom. And it didn’t help that everyone named O’Sullivan seemed to think of her as some kind of angel incarnate. Connie did things. Connie fixed things. Connie had pretty much organized Kieran’s wedding single-handedly. Connie was the go-to girl. The person everyone leaned on to get things done. And she did it without complaint, so perhaps she was an angel. Because in his experience, no human being was that altruistic.
Maybe she had an endgame? Some kind of motive for being on call for the O’Sullivans 24/7. Not that it was any of his business. Connie Bedford could do what she liked, with whomever she liked, whenever she liked.
“Having a good time?”
Liam.
Jonah recognized his half brother’s voice immediately. Other than J.D., the man was his least favorite O’Sullivan. But Liam was the one who never let up—who acted like a big brother whenever he had the opportunity. And he monopolized most of Connie’s time and attention, since she’d been his personal assistant at the hotel for the past five years. Jonah wasn’t sure why it bugged him...but it did.
“Yeah, sure,” he replied and grabbed a wineglass from one of the passing waiters. “You know how much I love a good family gathering.”
Liam laughed. “God, you’re obnoxious.”
“One of my finer qualities.”
His brother shook his head. “Have you spoken to Dad this weekend?”
Jonah took a drink, ignored the awful sweetness of the wine and shrugged. “I’ve been busy.”
“You said you’d make an effort if we backed off and let you do this at your own pace,” Liam reminded him.
“I know what I said,” Jonah replied, spying Connie across the tent and hating that he was still thinking about her. “And I will.”
“It’s Thanksgiving in a couple of weeks,” Liam said. “It would be nice if you were there for him. Kayla’s folks and grandmother are coming to our place for dinner. So are my mother and Kieran and Nicola and the boys. And Liz’s girls will be there for some of the day.”
Liz, his half sister, had died a few years earlier. Jonah had heard the story many times. She’d left behind three young daughters and a rancher husband who had since remarried. The family was clearly still grieving, but given his own issues with the family, Jonah didn’t know how to feel about it.
“What do you expect me to say?” he asked his half brother.
Liam frowned. “All I’m saying is that I think Dad will be at loose ends.”
“I generally spend the holidays with my mom,” he said flatly. “I can’t see this year being any different.”
“We invited your mother,” Liam told him, so matter-of-fact it sounded like the most obvious thing in the world. “She declined, considering my mother would be there. So, I thought maybe Dad could—”
“I don’t want J.D. hanging around my mom,” Jonah said quickly, feeling rage rise through his blood. “Ever.”
Liam’s mouth twitched. “You might not have a say in the matter.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It means,” his brother said and tapped him on the shoulder, “that as much as you want to, you don’t get to tell anyone how to live their life. Including and especially your parents. Now, be a big boy and go and talk to Dad.”
Dad...
Jonah hadn’t called J. D. O’Sullivan that since he was five years old.
And he never would again. He didn’t consider J.D. to be his father. He was the man who’d impregnated his mother when she was eighteen years old. End of story. There was no nice way around it. The fact that J.D. hadn’t technically abandoned his mom or him didn’t make one iota of difference. As far as Jonah was concerned, he didn’t have a father and was quite happy to keep it that way.
As if on cue, he spotted J.D. in the crowd, deep in discussion with people he knew were friends of the bride and groom. He also spotted Liam’s mother, Gwen O’Sullivan, a few feet away, clearly keeping a respectable distance between herself and her ex-husband. He admired her poise and elegance and the way she’d dropped J.D. like a hot coal once she’d discovered his lies and infidelity. Jonah had met her several times, and despite expecting her to treat him with disdain and resentment, Gwen was always polite and appeared to harbor no bad feelings toward him. He’d even attended her recent birthday celebration, albeit very briefly, as a gesture of respect.
Tired of the conversation with his half brother, Jonah waved a dismissive hand and headed inside the house. The O’Sullivan ranch was the largest around, and the house looked as though it could have been on the cover of a style magazine. The O’Sullivans were third-generation money and the wealthiest family in Cedar River. But money had never impressed Jonah, even though J.D. had showered him with extravagant gifts when he was younger. Bikes, electronic equipment, even a brand-new Jeep when he got his learner’s permit. None of it had made a lick of difference. What he’d wanted back then had nothing to do with the expensive gifts that felt like a payoff.
Family.
A mom and dad and maybe a couple of siblings. Instead, there was J.D.—turning up every few months, full of excuses and handouts and time frames. A couple of days here and there, the occasional birthday, graduation...whenever he could fit them in between his real family. With postscripts about his other children. Jonah had been raised on a steady diet of tales about his half siblings and Cedar River and life on the big O’Sullivan ranch. And through all those years, they knew nothing about him. He was a guilty secret. A side note to his father’s perfect life. Until Liam had eloped with Kayla Rickard and everything had been blown out of the water in spectacular fashion.
Now, he was a part of them, drawn into their lives without his consent and feeling resistance with every fiber he possessed. Tied by blood but always the outsider, destined to be the illegitimate and unwanted son of J. D. O’Sullivan.
He shook off his thoughts and headed down the hallway and into the front living room. He’d been inside the house a couple of times, and since Gwen had decided she wanted to get a place in town and Kieran and his new bride planned on moving in, he figured his invitations would soon become more frequent. Nicola had custody of her two orphaned nephews, and Jonah had to admit the ranch would be a great place for the kids to grow up.
Jonah came to a halt in the doorway, spotting Connie by the window. She was staring out, clearly looking for some time alone. He was about to turn and leave when she said his name and turned slightly.
“I didn’t mean to disturb you,” he said quickly. “I was looking for some—”
“Downtime?” she suggested, cutting him off. “Me, too. Don’t get me wrong, I love weddings, but once everything is done and the bride and groom are relaxed and happy, I always seem to need a little time-out.”
He took a couple of steps into the room. “How many of these things have you helped organize?”
Her mouth twisted in a smile. “A few.”
Jonah let out a breath and took another step. “Don’t you ever get tired of it?”
“Tired of what?”
“Doing things for everyone else.”
She turned fully to face him, and he was struck by how effortlessly beautiful she was. Even with her tightly coiffed hair, purple dress and perfect makeup...there was a naturalness about her that affected him on a kind of primal level. He tried to ignore it, tried to deny it—but there was no denying the truth. He was hot for Connie Bedford. Raging hot. And he didn’t know what the hell to do about it. He’d never been at the mercy of his libido before.
“I’ve always considered it a privilege to do things for others.”
He laughed humorlessly. “God, you’re naive.”
“Because I like to help people?”
“Because you let people walk all over you.”
She moved, taking a couple of long strides. “Like who?”
“Liam,” he said pointedly.
“He’s my employer,” she shot back.
“Didn’t you look after his kid last night?” Jonah reminded her. “Is babysitting in your job description, too?”
“They had trouble finding a replacement sitter on short notice and the whole family was at the rehearsal dinner.”
“I know,” he said and moved to stand behind the couch, watching her, fascinated as her cheeks scorched with color. “I was there.”
“So, you know the whole story.”
“I know my brother takes advantage of you. I know you pick up J.D.’s dry cleaning. I know you do errands for Gwen O’Sullivan.”
She moved closer, until there was only the sofa between them, her chest heaving. Jonah tried his best not to stare, but she was damned impossible to ignore. He’d had his fair share of relationships and lovers, but he couldn’t ever remember wanting a woman the way he wanted Connie.
“Obviously you’ve never done an unselfish thing in your life.”
“It’s not unselfish to refuse to become someone’s doormat,” he offered.
Her hands jerked to her hips in dramatic fashion. “I think that’s the most insulting thing anyone has ever said to me.”
“Then you’ve lived a sheltered life.”
“I’d rather that than be mean-spirited and unpleasant. I can’t believe you’re actually related to the O’Sullivans.”
Jonah rocked back a little on his heels. “You’re not the only one.”
“You’re not fit to wipe their boots.”
Irritation kerneled in his chest and Jonah was suddenly all out of patience. Her blind faith in the O’Sullivans was astounding. “No need to...not when you’re at their beck and call day and night.”
She glared at him. “I don’t know how I ever...ever...”
Her words trailed off. “How you what?” he shot back. “Ended up in my hotel room with your tongue in my mouth and—”
“You’re such a jerk,” she said, cutting him off. “How do you sleep at night?”
He raised a brow. “If you’d stayed in my bed that night, you would have found out.”
Chapter Two (#u83894676-f765-5f75-b9f4-1454c086eac6)
Connie shook her head. “You’re such a conceited ass. Bailing was the smartest thing I’ve ever done.”
He scowled, clearly not liking the fact that she was laughing at him. “Speaking the truth doesn’t make me conceited, Con—” He stopped and she knew he fought hard to check himself. “I mean, Miss Bedford. Your dedication to the O’Sullivans might seem honorable, but it also makes me wonder why. Money doesn’t appear to be your motive. Or power, since you’ve worked for Liam for five years and the old man before that. I don’t know...maybe you’re infatuated with one of them.”
Connie took a moment to absorb his words. And then she laughed. “Really? That’s your theory on my loyalty?”
He shrugged, then tugged at his collar. “It makes sense. You and Liam spend a lot of time together,” he said quietly. “It explains your devotion and utter compliance to everything he says and does.”
If she didn’t know better, she could have sworn that he was actually jealous. But that made no sense. They were nothing to one another. “Beside the fact that he’s married and that Kayla and your brother are very happy together, Liam is my boss. And my friend. But since you probably don’t have any friends, I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”
Now he laughed, a soft, deeply resonant chuckle that affected her deep down. She hated that he could do that. In fact, she despised everything about him, deciding that sexual attraction definitely had nothing to do with actually liking someone.
“Have I pushed a button?”
“I wouldn’t let you close enough to push my buttons.”
“Now, we both know that’s not entirely true,” he said quietly, his dark hair shining beneath the light, his blue eyes glittering brilliantly.
“You’re insufferable,” she said in a huff. “If you must know, that night was completely out of character for me. I’d had a bad day and decided to have a drink after work. I didn’t expect to see you at the bar. And then one thing led to another and...well...you know the rest.”
“You mean the part where you sprinted to my room?”
Heat infused her cheeks. “I would hardly call it a sprint. Anyway, you weren’t exactly difficult to convince.”
“I thought a beautiful woman wanted me to make love to her,” he said quietly, his voice as seductive as a caress. “I’m not made of stone, despite what you may think.”
All Connie could think was the fact that he’d just said she was beautiful. The words rattled around in her head with the deafening power of a freight train. She’d never considered herself beautiful. Well groomed, maybe, with nice hair and an average build...but knowing Jonah thought she was beautiful made her belly roll over and over.
“I don’t think you’re made of stone,” she said and shrugged. “It’s only that sometimes you can be so...so infuriating.”
“Part of my charm.”
“You’re not charming,” she assured him.
“Not like Liam, eh?”
She made an impatient sound. “Would you stop inferring that I have feelings for your brother? Because I don’t.”
“Prove it,” he challenged. “Criticize him.”
She scowled. “I’m not going to play stupid games to help inflate your ego.”
“My ego is rock solid,” he said. “It needs to be around you, Miss Bedford.”
Connie didn’t miss the insinuation—or his return to formality. “If it’s any consolation, it wouldn’t have mattered whose room I was in that night...the outcome would have been the same. I’m only thankful that it was someone as rational and considerate as you. I guess it could have ended very differently if I’d been with someone else.”
His gaze narrowed. “Is that a compliment?”
She shrugged. “An observation.”
“No means no,” he said quietly. “Always. There are no half measures when it comes to a person’s choice about who they sleep with.”
Connie’s suspicions were confirmed. Despite the rude way he’d dismissed her that night, he had integrity. No means no. Such a simple statement had more meaning to her than he could ever understand.
“I don’t sleep around. I don’t have one-night stands. I’m a boring, stay-at-home girl who likes to read romantic novels and curl up on the couch with my dogs.”
“I figured you’d be a cat person.”
She relaxed a fraction. “Nope. Four dogs. And a goldfish.”
“No boyfriend?”
“No,” she replied, stunned that he’d asked her something so personal. “You?”
His mouth twisted. “I like girls.”
Connie chuckled. “I meant, no girlfriend?”
“Haven’t we already established that I came to this wedding stag? Remember how I forgot to RSVP?”
“I thought you did that simply to stick it to the O’Sullivans,” she suggested. “You know, to prove that they don’t own you.”
His mouth curled at the edges. “I really do have a bad reputation.”
“Yes,” she said. “You do.”
“You know, Connie, I’m not all bad.”
The way he unexpectedly said her name again made her toes curl. He had seduction imprinted in his DNA, she was certain. “Time will tell, I suppose. And I really need to get back to the party.”
“Hoping to catch the bouquet?”
Her breath hiked up. “No. Have to give the band their final payment.”
“So, doing O’Sullivan bidding right until the end?”
Her temper quickly returned. “Doing my job. See you later. Or not at all. Either would suit me just fine.”
By the time she made it back down the hallway, Connie had slowed down her breathing and calmed her nerves. Other than that crazy night, it was the longest and most in-depth conversation she’d had with him in ten months. He tried so hard not to fit in with his family, when the truth was that he was actually more like them than he’d ever admit. Particularly Liam and J.D., who were both confident and self-assured and strong. Jonah possessed those qualities in spades. And something else...an aura of don’t mess with me arrogance that, rather than having her running for hills, was sexy and thrilling and somehow a powerful turn-on. She secretly liked that about him, that he didn’t roll over and do what was expected. While her allegiance would always be with the O’Sullivans, she admired his determination not to take the easy route and try to fit in without complaint. Of course, her feelings were illogical. He openly resisted getting close to his family and her loyalty to them made it impossible for her to excuse his behavior.
But her dreams were a different story. In them, she could want him without explanation. She could watch as he slew dragons with his indifference and determination to remain aloof and apart from the people with whom he shared blood and birthright.
I’ve read way too many romantic novels.
But didn’t every woman have the right to fall for a Heathcliff every now and then?
It wasn’t as though he was marriage material. It was a fantasy. A secret longing for a man who possessed brooding sexiness in abundance, and probably had ice water in his veins. And Connie tended to doubt she’d ever get married, anyhow. Maybe marriage wasn’t in her makeup. She’d become a career woman through necessity and felt safe in her cocoon of work, home, friends...and the O’Sullivans. Working at the hotel since she was sixteen had shaped her path; being Liam’s assistant for the past five years and working for J.D. before that had given her purpose and strength and empowerment—everything she’d so desperately needed. Jonah was wrong—she wasn’t a doormat. She did everything with a measure of control and commitment, obliging others because that was her choice.
My choice to say yes.
My choice to say no.
Survivor’s code, ingrained into the very fiber of her soul. Without it, she would have frayed at the seams until there was nothing left of who she’d been before that terrible day when her life had irrevocably changed.
“What are you doing, hiding out in here?”
Connie swiveled on her heels, realizing she’d ended up in the kitchen and that J. D. O’Sullivan was hanging out behind the countertop, drinking what appeared to be antacid. A lot of people considered him to be loud and blustery and arrogant—and perhaps he was—but Connie also knew he was compassionate and generous and kind, even if he didn’t always allow the world to see it. He had a reputation for speaking his mind and had no tolerance for fools. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Yes, Jonah Rickard was more like his father than he would ever willingly admit.
“I could ask you the same thing,” she said and winked.
“Damn ulcer is acting up,” he admitted and held up the glass. “I thought this might help.”
It occurred to her that it probably wasn’t something he’d openly acknowledge, but Connie had arranged for more than one specialist appointment for J.D. over the years.
“Spicy food, stress and alcohol,” she reminded him. “You know the drill...they’re all off the menu.”
He shrugged his giant shoulders. “Well, the food and booze I can easily give up. The stress is the hard one.”
“I don’t imagine being back in this house is helping,” she offered gently, recalling how he’d been kicked out of the ranch by his very angry wife over ten months earlier. Now he lived permanently at the hotel, despite both Liam and Kieran offering to have him come live with them. But Connie knew J.D. was too proud and stubborn to hang on to the fringes of his son’s lives. “I know Kieran is happy you are here today.”
“I wouldn’t let my son down,” he said and then smiled ruefully. “I’ve done enough of that lately.”
“Kieran has a big capacity for forgiveness. So does Liam,” she added gently.
“But not Sean and Jonah,” he said. “Right?”
Connie half shrugged. “I don’t know either of them as well,” she replied and figured it was the truth. Sean had lived in Los Angeles for over a decade, and Jonah was, well...Jonah. “But I’m sure they’ll all come around.”
“Maybe Sean,” he said hopefully. “Jonah, however, is another story altogether.”
“I’m sure he’s not as difficult as he makes out.”
J.D. laughed and it crinkled the corners of his eyes. “Ha, you’ve met my youngest son, right?”
Met him. Touched him. Kissed him. Dreamed of him.
Connie swallowed hard. “Sometimes people say and do things they don’t mean to cover up how they really feel, and so they don’t appear vulnerable. Perhaps that’s it. Maybe he’s afraid to show you how he really feels.”
“I know how he really feels,” J.D. said and winced. “He hates me.”
“I’m sure he doesn’t.”
“He does,” J.D. said. “And there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“You’re right about that.”
Jonah.
Connie turned her head and saw him standing in the doorway. She noticed that J.D.’s broad shoulders sagged slightly and saw sadness in the older man’s expression. There was nothing but resentment and bitterness emanating from Jonah, and it was aimed directly at his father.
And at her.
* * *
Jonah was so furious he couldn’t stand being in his own skin. J.D. and Connie, talking about him in hushed voices behind his back as though it was everyday conversation. And maybe it was. Maybe he was the usual topic of conversation for the whole damned family, or the whole damned town!
But that didn’t mean he had to like it, or allow it. J.D. had done enough damage over the years.
“Have you both finished dissecting me?” he demanded.
“We were just—”
“I know what you were doing,” he shot back, glaring at the other man, not daring to look toward Connie. “And I want it to stop.”
The silence was suddenly deafening. Every time he was near J.D., his resentment fired up; every time he thought about the man who’d so recklessly become involved with his mother, Jonah experienced an acute sense of loathing and rage. It never abated, not in all the years since he was old enough to understand the situation. Kathleen had left Cedar River—left her family—so she could have her baby in secret and not blow the O’Sullivan empire apart. He understood his mother’s motives, and he respected them, but he hated J.D. and everything he stood for—his dishonesty, his betrayal, his lack of integrity and honor—and vowed he would never demonstrate those qualities. Vowed to become a better man than J. D. O’Sullivan.
“Jonah, I think your dad just meant that—”
“Don’t call him that,” he growled, meeting her gaze for the first time since he’d entered the room. She blanched, and he registered a sharp feeling of guilt somewhere through the haze that was his rage. “This situation has nothing to do with you... It’s about him and me and my mother. Please stay out of it.”
“I can’t do that,” she said and he watched as her throat rolled over convulsively. “I care too much about your family and I won’t see them hurt...not by anyone.”
“Connie,” J.D. said quickly. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”
“That’s good advice,” Jonah shot back and glared at Connie, suddenly mesmerized by the way she glared back, not giving an inch. “You should take it.”
She took a long breath. “You know something,” she said quietly, her chin held at a tight angle. “You really don’t deserve them.”
It was a deliberate and cutting remark. Then she said goodbye to J.D. and left the room, ignoring Jonah completely. But he felt damned by the trace of her perfume that floated past him as she disappeared through the doorway. Jonah cursed his own stupidity before turning to glare at the other man in the room.
“She’s quite a girl,” J.D. said and half smiled. “Don’t you think?”
“I’d rather not speculate.”
“That’s reassuring,” he replied. “She’s a nice young woman and shouldn’t be messed with.”
Jonah almost laughed out loud. “I have no intention of messing with Miss Bedford,” he said, ignoring the twitch in his stomach. “She’s way too invested in your family. Actually, I’m not sure if it’s you or Liam that she’s infatuated with.”
J.D. laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous. Liam’s happily married and I’m old enough to be her father.”
“We all know your weakness for younger women.”
The older man’s smile disappeared. “I was thirty-one when I fell in love with your mother. She was eighteen. That’s not exactly a lifetime between us.”
Jonah wanted to cover his ears. He’d heard the story countless times. J.D. had fallen for Kathleen. They had an affair. She got pregnant. J.D. wanted to come clean and admit to his adultery, but Kathleen had persuaded him to remain in Cedar River and stay with his family while she gave up everything...for him.
Yeah, he knew the story...knew his mother, too, had made her choices over the years. But he still blamed J.D. entirely for taking advantage of a much younger woman.
“I don’t want to have this conversation again,” Jonah said quietly, harnessing his emotions as best he could.
“At this stage, I’ll take any conversation I can get.”
Jonah scowled. “Why the hell would you want to?”
“Because you’re my son.”
He winced. “You know I’m not interested in being anything to you.”
J.D. nodded. “I know.”
“But you still keep coming back for more of the same?” He shook his head. “I don’t understand it.”
J.D. placed his big hands on the counter. “Well, I’m hoping that one day, you just might.”
Jonah ignored the odd sensation suddenly seeping through his blood. He didn’t want to spend time with J.D. He didn’t want to waste time listening to platitudes about fathers and sons.
“I’ve gotta go,” he said and fished his car keys from his pocket, thinking he’d had just about enough wedding nonsense and happy family time for one day. He needed the solitude of his apartment. Well, technically it was Kieran’s apartment, but he’d been bunking there off and on since his mother had moved back to Cedar River. Sometimes he stayed at the hotel, but with J.D. now in residence there, the less time he spent at O’Sullivans, the better.
Jonah left the room and headed outside. He offered a quick goodbye to the bride and groom, knowing it was bad form to leave the ceremony before they did, and tried to shake off the guilt he felt as he drove home. The huge Victorian house, which had been split into several apartments, greeted him with the kind of quiet, uncomplicated seclusion he favored. Okay...so maybe that was a stretch. It wasn’t as though he longed for his own company. He’d always had a circle of friends and coworkers and socialized as much as the next person. In Portland he still had a few close friends from college and enjoyed their company. But regularly visiting South Dakota had been a no-brainer. He wasn’t about to let his mother wade through her past without him close at hand. She needed him. He had a spacious and modern apartment in Portland, a vast contrast with the old-fashioned Victorian, with its shuttered windows and mix of old and new furnishings. Before Kieran had leased the place, it had been Kayla’s home. Sometimes he felt stifled by the familial connection to the apartment, but it was convenient and the rent was reasonable.
Once he got home, Jonah ditched the suit, took a shower, changed into jeans, a sweater and lined jacket, pulled on his boots, made coffee and headed outside onto the small terrace. Tomorrow was Sunday and he planned on visiting his mother, but before that he had to drop by the hotel to catch up with Liam about the proposed extension plans for the local museum and art gallery. Kayla was the curator and Liam had provided most of the funding for the council-approved extension. Jonah knew he’d been offered the contract to solidify the family connection...but it was good business and he was no fool.
Once he finished the coffee, Jonah went back inside, grabbed a beer from the fridge and slumped onto the sofa. He grabbed the remote, flicked through a few channels and settled on a NASCAR event. The mindless drone of engines relaxed him and he settled back, perched his feet on the coffee table and dropped his head back and closed his eyes. He had the vague thought that he was done with weddings for a while. He’d never had any interest in getting married himself—at least, not yet. He’d never had a long-term relationship—no doubt a hang-up from his father’s lack of commitment to his wife and the double life he’d led for the past thirty years.
When he woke up it was two in the morning. He had a crick in his neck, the beer was untouched on the table and the neighbor’s cat was curled up on the sofa beside him. The damned feline often sneaked in and made himself comfortable on Jonah’s sofa, bed or lap. He belonged to the elderly woman in the downstairs apartment and was notorious for getting into trouble. Jonah had already rescued the cat twice when he’d gotten caught on top of the gazebo in the backyard.
Jonah got up, stretched out his limbs and then headed to bed. When he finally awoke it was past eight and he drank two cups of strong coffee to clear the fuzziness in his head, a feeling he blamed on the half a glass of celebratory wine he’d sipped at the reception and the resentment still churning in his gut. He dressed, made toast he didn’t eat and then headed into town.
Sunday mornings in Cedar River were quiet, except for the tourists milling at the few open coffeehouses and the bakery on Main Street. Of course, the hotel was open, and he pulled into a reserved space next to his brother’s recognizable Silverado. He drove a sedan when he was in town, mostly to annoy J.D., who insisted he needed an SUV and kept offering to buy him one to replace the Jeep Jonah had sold the minute he’d started college. Jonah headed for the main doors and the concierge greeted him by name. His connection to the O’Sullivan family was known around town and he couldn’t deny it at the hotel. Still, as he walked through the place, he experienced a familiar and acute sense of dishonor about who and what he was. It was J.D.’s shame, but in Cedar River, he always felt as though he wore it like a cattle brand.
The hotel was impressive and luxurious and as good as any found in a large city. It employed dozens of locals and the service was exemplary, no doubt due to Liam being at the helm. Apparently he’d turned the place around in the last five years, developing it into a true boutique destination, and it was hard not to admire his half brother’s business acumen.
Jonah strode across the lobby and caught the elevator to the third floor and the private suite of offices. He used his swipe card to reach the top floor. Liam’s office took up a significant section, plus there were several suites kept available for family and a few corporate offices and a conference room.
He walked through the front office and spotted Connie sitting at her desk, her head bent, her fingers flicking quickly over the computer keyboard.
“It’s Sunday,” he said and stopped. “Since when do you work on Sunday?”
She looked up, her face expressionless, and clearly expecting to see him. “Liam had to step out for a bit. He’ll be back in about twenty minutes.” She got up and came around the desk, a folder in her hands. “He asked if you could look over this while you wait. You can go into his office.”
Jonah stayed where he was. She wore jeans and a bright red shirt, tucked in at the waist, with a sparkly belt and bright blue cowboy boots. Her hair was down, moving over her shoulders as she walked, and it struck him that this was the first time he’d seen her with her hair that way. It was always up in a professional braid or like the fancy style she’d had at the wedding. And the clothes... He’d only ever seen her in her corporate suit and jacket or an evening dress. But today she looked casual and young and more beautiful than he’d ever seen her before. Her face was free of makeup and he spotted a row of freckles across the bridge of her nose.
Damn. Freckles. Something kerneled in his chest, a heavy feeling he didn’t like, and he realized what it was. Attraction. But since she was regarding him with contempt and undisguised impatience, Jonah also felt like a first-rate fool.
She’d made her thoughts abundantly clear that night ten months ago. He’d been at the bar downstairs, looking for solace and a way to purge the rage pounding through his blood. She’d been alone at a booth, staring into a club soda. He knew who she was. He’d met her that first time he’d accompanied his mother to Cedar River when she’d returned to see her family after thirty years away from the small town. Liam’s secret marriage to Kayla had been the catalyst for Kathleen’s return, and Jonah wasn’t about to allow her to face everyone without him. What he hadn’t bargained on was Connie Bedford. He had recognized an instant attraction.
Jonah knew enough about women to home in on sexual chemistry. So, that night, they’d talked for a while. And when the talking stopped and they both clearly knew where things were heading, he invited her to his room and she agreed. Outside, before he could pull the key card from his wallet, she’d leaned in toward him and he’d kissed her. Softly at first, because her lips had been so damned inviting he’d wanted to savor every moment. And then desire took over and he kissed her with so much passion it had almost dropped him to his knees. Within minutes they were in his room and on his bed. It had been hot and heavy, and he couldn’t remember a time when he’d wanted a woman so much—until she put the brakes on, which had acted like a bucket of ice water on his libido.
Of course, he’d stopped, immediately. But he’d also been wound up and frustrated by his inability to get her to confide in him when something was so obviously bothering her. He wasn’t usually that guy. Sure, his relationships had always been casual, but he always treated women with respect and restraint and courtesy.
Until Connie Bedford.
He’d been rude and unpleasant, stung less by her sudden rejection than the lack of explanation, and his manners hadn’t improved since. She was under his skin. Being around her pushed all his buttons...physical and emotional. He couldn’t explain or understand it, since they barely knew one another. But he knew she disapproved of his behavior and his feelings toward the O’Sullivans, and the fact that she kindled that spark of shame within him when even his mother couldn’t irritated him down to the very blood in his bones.
Jonah took the folder and noticed that Connie seemed...uncomfortable. Her gaze kept slipping toward the door, almost as though... “Am I making you nervous?”
Her gaze jerked upward. “Of course not.”
“You seem nervous being alone with me. You keep looking to see if your boss is coming.”
“Caffeine withdrawal,” she said and crossed her arms. “I’m trying to give up coffee, but I can smell it from the kitchen.” She was so clearly lying to him—and he was instantly compelled to try to put her at ease.
“Why would you want to do that?” he inquired. “Coffee is one of life’s guilty pleasures.”
“My goal is to give up all the things that are bad for me. Coffee is on the list.”
“What else is on your list?” he asked, picking up the scent of her flowery perfume and feeling it spike through his blood like wildfire.
“You.”
He laughed, both aroused and amused by her candor. “I don’t think I’ve ever been on a list before.”
“Ten bucks says you have.”
He laughed again and realized he did that a lot around Connie. She was so effortlessly attractive, and he pushed back the urge to reach out and touch her hair, her cheek. It wouldn’t be appropriate, considering their history. They might have chemistry, but it was so much more than that because something about her affected him on a primal level. He couldn’t work it out. Sure, she was pretty, but there was an earnestness about Connie that was refreshing and intoxicating and made him—foolishly—want to get to know her better. Somehow, she made him think that she’d be a good friend. Which was crazy, because he had several female friends back in Portland and he didn’t want to take any of them to bed.
“Why are you really working today?” he asked.
She shrugged and moved back around the desk. “Just catching up on a few things.”
“And you still don’t think they take advantage of you?”
Her mouth thinned. “Maybe I’m one of those people who like being needed. You should try it sometime...doing something for someone without a motive.”
Her dig had pinpoint accuracy. “I’m not completely selfish.”
“If you weren’t you’d know that every time you call your father J.D. it hurts his feelings terribly.”
Jonah stiffened. “I have my reasons.”
“Yes,” she agreed. “Selfish ones.”
“You don’t know anything about it.”
“Actually,” she corrected, “I know quite a bit. We doormats tend to hear everyone’s tale of woe.”
Jonah’s stomach rolled. “I shouldn’t have called you that. I’m sorry.”
“Wow, an apology. I bet that makes your teeth hurt.”
“A bit,” he admitted. “But I generally don’t have to apologize for my behavior, since my behavior is usually very civilized.”
“Are you saying I bring out the worst in you?”
“You bring out something,” he admitted rawly. “But I’m not quite sure what it is. I think I find your complete and utter faith in the O’Sullivans a mystery. And damned irritating.”
“Haven’t you ever looked up to and admired someone?”
“Of course,” he replied. “My mom. My best friend from high school. My favorite professor in college. Your point?”
“That it’s not blind faith,” she replied. “It’s respect and admiration. It’s knowing someone has your back and you have theirs. It’s about friendship and loyalty.”
“And your loyalty lies with Liam and J.D.?” he probed. “Why?”
“Because they saved my life.”
Chapter Three (#u83894676-f765-5f75-b9f4-1454c086eac6)
Connie wanted to snatch the words back the moment they left her mouth. Having a heart-to-heart with Jonah wasn’t in her Sunday plans. Or any plans. But somehow, he got her talking. She wasn’t sure why. Connie rarely talked about herself, to anyone. She’d endured enough talk a decade ago. Now she wanted obscurity. She wanted to stay in the shadows and avoid notoriety and gossip. And she certainly didn’t want Jonah knowing anything about her past.
“What does that mean?” he asked quickly, frowning.
She shrugged, pushed off the memory that threatened to climb over her skin and moved a few things around on her desk. They had saved her, but it wasn’t a story she wanted to tell. It was so long ago—rehashing the hurt and pain from those days was pointless. She’d made the commitment to move on with her life and not to look backward. “Nothing. I was just speaking metaphorically.”
One dark brow came up. “Really?”
“I had some family stuff going on when I was younger. My parents had left town again and—”
“Again?” he queried, interrupting her.
“It’s a long story,” she replied. “Anyway, my grandfather had passed away, but I wanted to stay with my grandmother and I needed a job, so your dad gave me a chance here at the hotel. I’m grateful for that because it meant I could stay here and look after her.”
“I thought you lived alone with your four dogs and your goldfish.”
“I do,” she replied, her uneasiness increasing, because she’d flown under the radar for so long it had been forever since she’d shared something personal about herself with anyone. And she’d never expected it to be with Jonah Rickard! And she was surprised that he remembered her comment about the dogs and goldfish. People didn’t generally remember things about her—it was Connie who did the remembering. “Nan passed away three years ago.”
His gaze darkened. “I’m sorry.”
Connie shrugged one shoulder. “She was ill for a while, so her passing was a blessing.”
“And your parents?”
“They don’t live in Cedar River,” she said as casually as she could, the usual ache she experienced when she thought of her parents quickly settling behind her rib cage. She’d stopped being angry with them a long time ago—now she felt only sadness and a heavy lingering regret that caught up with her on birthdays and around the holidays.
“I mean, why did they leave town?”
Connie shrugged. “For their work,” she said and didn’t elaborate.
“And you really like this town?” he asked. “I mean, that’s why you stayed when your parents left?”
“I love Cedar River. It’s my home.”
“So you’ll probably marry some local cowboy and settle down and have a bunch of kids?”
Connie looked at him. Damn, he was gorgeous. In dark jeans, a black shirt that stretched across his shoulders and a jacket she suspected had cost more than she made in a month, he was utterly and irrevocably the sexiest man she had ever met. And she wanted him. She wanted him so much that she’d almost had him...until the fear set in. Until her past rushed back to haunt her in ice-cold fashion. She wasn’t sure why it had happened with Jonah—since he had somehow pushed her libido into overdrive from the first moment she’d clapped eyes on him. She’d hoped that her desire and the crazy chemistry between them would be enough to push past the barriers she’d erected around herself. Hoped...and failed. Not even her aching need for him had been enough. Instead, she’d panicked and run, denying her body the experience and release it craved.
“I’m not sure if I’ll ever get married. But I believe in it,” she said and shrugged. “You?”
“From what I’ve seen, marriage generally ends in divorce. So why bother?”
“Not all marriages end up that way,” she offered. “Look at—”
“J.D. and Gwen?” he said, cutting her off. “Kieran and his ex-wife? Shall I go on?”
“They’re bad examples,” she said and rested her hips on the edge of her desk. “And J.D. and Gwen’s marriage wasn’t a complete disaster. They had thirty-five years together.”
“Based on a lie,” he said bitterly. “No, thanks.”
Connie’s heart rate increased. Talking about marriage got her thinking—because in her heart, she did want all that marriage offered: commitment, trust, the complete connection to another human being. But she often wondered if she’d ever have the courage for it. Or if she’d ever meet someone who would understand her fragile hold on trust and how achingly vulnerable she sometimes felt.
“Well, Kieran is happy now,” she insisted. “And Liam and Kayla are desperately in love with one another. So obviously marriage does work...you just have to pick the right person.”
“She’s right,” a deep voice said from across the room. “You do.”
Liam.
He’d been her rock for a decade. Her friend and confidant as well as her boss, and she trusted him completely. Seeing him happy with Kayla and their baby son, Jack, made her feel all fuzzy inside. Liam deserved to be happy, and she was honored to call him her friend. He was the big brother she’d never had—the family she’d needed at the most desperate time in her life. If it weren’t for Liam and J.D., Connie wasn’t sure she would be as emotionally healthy as she was.
“If marriage is so great, why are you working on a Sunday?” Jonah asked cynically.
Liam sauntered across the room and grinned. “Because my pain-in-the-ass little brother is heading back to Portland tomorrow and we have some plans to go over.”
Connie smiled and glanced toward Jonah. Even with his tightly clenched jaw and irritated expression, he was still the most handsome man she’d ever known. She looked for some level of affection between him and his brother but saw only disdain and impatience. And she felt sad for him, because the O’Sullivans had so much to offer and Jonah was too stubborn to see it.
She watched as the two men headed into Liam’s office and heard them talking about the plans for the museum extension, and then she relaxed a little. Jonah was highly regarded in his field. An award-winning architect who’d designed buildings right along the West Coast, he was the youngest person to have ever made partner at Walters, Orsini & Rickard, a prestigious firm in Portland. J.D. had bragged about his many achievements countless times in the previous ten months, like any proud father would.
Twenty minutes later they were back in the main office. Liam passed her the folder and his electronic tablet and gave her a few instructions.
“I’ll get Connie to email the details to you this week and you can start working up some plans,” Liam said and nodded. “Okay?”
“Sure,” Jonah replied. “No problem.”
“Ah, Connie,” Liam said and checked his watch. “If you can wait about half an hour, I’ll go and speak with the sous chef and then drop you at home.”
Before she had a chance to reply, Jonah spoke. “Don’t you have a car?”
“It’s in the shop,” she supplied. “I can’t pick it up until tomorrow. And Sean is using the hotel corporate car.”
She noticed Jonah frown and shake his head slightly.
“I’ll take her home,” he said quietly to his brother and then met her gaze. “That way you won’t have to hang around here.”
Doormat.
The unsaid word hung in the air between them. Irritation snaked up her spine and she smiled sweetly. “I wouldn’t want to impose.”
“You won’t be,” he said and pulled keys from his pocket. “Let’s go.”
Connie ignored Liam’s curious expression and quickly gathered her tote and laptop, aware that he was watching her movements and was probably wondering what was going on between them. To his credit, Liam didn’t say anything, but she suspected she’d be on the receiving end of a few questions the following day.
Five minutes later she was being driven from the parking area in Jonah’s stylish Lexus.
“Nice car,” she remarked, stroking the soft leather seat. “Very...understated.”
“What did you expect?” he asked, his mouth curved into a half smile.
“Oh, I don’t know...maybe a red Corvette.”
“Flashy isn’t my thing,” he remarked and pulled out onto Main Street. “I like things that are low-maintenance.”
Connie looked straight ahead. “Girls, too?”
“Girls, too,” he replied. “I guess that counts you out.”
“I’m not high-maintenance,” Connie stated, ignoring the heat suffusing her cheeks.
He chuckled. “Oh, you’re about as high as it gets.”
“Because I wouldn’t have sex with you?” she demanded. “That’s just your macho conditioning talking.”
He laughed and turned the car off Main Street, heading toward the bridge and over the river. “I have been turned down before, you know. Maybe not in such dramatic fashion. Or at such a...” His words trailed off for a moment. “Let’s call it a pivotal moment.”
Because your hand was up my skirt.
Like a camera speeding in reverse, Connie was suddenly back in his hotel room, feeling every touch, every kiss, every breath. And remembering how much she’d wanted him, how perfect his broad shoulders felt beneath her hands, how insanely erotic his kisses were. And then she remembered the rest—the fear clawing up her back, the feeling of suffocation, the sense that she was out of control...and that her body was someone else’s and not her own to command.
“I shouldn’t have gone to your room,” she said quietly. “You were right to be annoyed.”
“No, Connie,” he said, his voice just as quiet. “I wasn’t. It was your right to say no.”
“Thank you.”
“I am curious, though,” he said softly. “Did I do something to offend you? Was I too—”
“No,” she said quickly, eager to end the conversation. “It wasn’t you. It was me. I think I just panicked and—”
“You have nothing to fear from me, Connie,” he said, cutting her off. “Then or now.”
Heat burned her eyes. Because she knew that whatever else he was, Jonah Rickard was trustworthy and honorable. “I know that.” She looked around and blinked, forcing the heat away and realized they were nowhere near her street. “Um...where are we going?”
“If you don’t mind, I thought we could make a short detour,” he said casually and turned into a wide, leafy street.
“A detour?” she echoed, panic skirting along the edges of her spine for a moment. She dismissed the idea quickly. Jonah was not a threat. “To where?”
He pulled up outside a low-set, brick home with shuttered windows and a wide porch. “My mother’s.”
Connie had met Kathleen Rickard several times. Not quite fifty, she was a petite, attractive woman with pale hair and green eyes and was quite lovely. She hooked a thumb sideways. “This is your mom’s house?”
He nodded. “We can leave if you prefer.”
She saw the curtains move. “I think she knows we’re here.”
“So, we’ll go inside?”
Connie nodded warily. “I guess so.”
A minute later they were on the porch and the front door opened. Kathleen greeted her son with a warm embrace that was filled with love and devotion, and Connie experienced a sharp pang of envy. It wasn’t that her parents hadn’t loved her—she was sure they had, and still did, in their own way. But they were never very good at being parents. Kathleen, however, looked as though she would move heaven and earth to protect her only son. And in a way, she had. She’d left Cedar River when she’d gotten pregnant and made a new life for herself and her baby.
“Sweetie,” Kathleen said and touched Jonah’s face. “It’s so good to see you.”
“Mom,” he said with a groan and shook his head. “Don’t call me sweetie, okay?”
Kathleen laughed. “I’ll try not to. And Connie, it’s lovely to see you again. Jonah didn’t tell me he was bringing a...friend with him today.”
Heat crawled up her neck. “I’m just tagging along,” she explained. “I was working for a few hours today and my car is in the shop, so I needed a lift home from the hotel. I hope it’s okay that I’m here?”
“Of course,” Kathleen said, ushering them inside and down the hallway. “I’m delighted.”
The house was modest but tastefully decorated, and when they reached the living area, Connie noticed that one corner was filled with canvases and artist’s tools, including an assortment of easels and several small tables crammed with paints and charcoals.
“You’re an artist?” she asked.
Kathleen shrugged lightly. “I dabble. Though I’m not really very good. It’s more of a hobby than anything else.”
Connie noticed one of the largest easels was covered in a paint-splattered sheet. “Is that a secret project?”
Kathleen grinned. “More of a practice piece. I’m branching out into portraits. You know, you have lovely bone structure,” she commented and nodded and looked at her son. “She’d make a great model. Don’t you think, sweetie?”
“Mom,” Jonah chastised. “Enough with the sweetie thing.”
Connie wasn’t sure if he was genuinely embarrassed, but Kathleen took it in stride. They were clearly very close and a tight unit.
“Okay, I promise,” his mother said and shrugged. “Now, go and be useful and bring me some firewood,” she said and pointed to the empty crate near the hearth. “It’s going to get cold this week, and I’d like to be ready for the turn in the weather. It’s out by the back door.”
He lingered for a moment before leaving the room, his loose-limbed stride becoming so familiar to Connie that she suspected she could pick him out in a crowd at a hundred yards.
“So,” Kathleen said once he was out of sight. “Tell me, Connie...how long have you been dating my son?”
* * *
By the time he had the second hunk of firewood in his arms, Jonah figured that bringing Connie to his mother’s home was up there with some of the stupidest things he’d ever done. Because he knew from the look in his mom’s eyes that she was imagining all kinds of things—most of them focused on Connie being the first girl he’d brought home in nearly five years. Of course, like any mother, she had the matchmaking bug. And she wanted grandchildren...she’d made that clear on countless occasions. And yeah, maybe one day he’d find someone and raise a family. Maybe. One thing was for sure—he’d do a damned better job being a father than J.D. ever had.
By the time he returned to the living room, Connie was alone.
“Did you get the third degree?” he asked and dumped the firewood.
“Yes,” she replied. “It took several minutes of fast talking to convince her that I am not your girlfriend.”
He grinned. “That’s better than I expected. But in her defense, I don’t make a habit of bringing girls home to meet my mother.”
Something flashed in her eyes—something that had everything to do with the attraction that pulsed undeniably between them.
“So, why did you bring me?” she asked, brows up.
Jonah managed a shrug. “I don’t really know.”
She smiled. “I figured you’d be the kind of man who knows exactly what he’s doing at every moment. Or at least, that’s what you want people to think.”
Jonah’s mouth curled at the edges. “That sounds like more criticism.”
“It’s an observation,” she said, still smiling. “I see you, Jonah. I see what’s underneath your arrogance and resentment. You’re actually a lot nicer than you make out.”
Jonah grimaced. “Nah... I’m not.”
She chuckled. “It’s not a flaw, you know. Or a weakness.”
“It just feels like one, right?” he offered and shrugged a little. “Anyway, I’m sorry if my mom gave you the third degree.”
“She thinks you’re afraid of commitment.”
“Wary,” he corrected. “There’s a difference. I guess she’s in the kitchen making tea?”
She nodded. “She loves you a lot.”
“I know,” he said. “It’s mutual.”
“You’re lucky. No everyone gets that.”
There was pain in her voice, and it gave him an odd ache inside. “Didn’t you?”
“Not in the way you did,” she replied. “My parents were...are...hard to get close to. They’re career focused. Archaeologists,” she explained when he frowned. “The truth is, I spent most of my early childhood living on one excavation site after another, but when I was eight they sent me back here to live permanently with my grandparents. They parented me the best they could when they came back in between trips, but since they’d never planned on having kids, most of the time they were a train wreck. At the moment they’re in South America somewhere, but I don’t hear from them very often. I’m very grateful that I had my grandparents.” She sighed, then took a breath, and when she met his gaze, her eyes were brighter than usual. “I don’t know why I told you that.”
“I’m not judging. Just listening.”
“I know,” she said and dropped onto the sofa. “You’re good at it. It’s very annoying.”
Jonah laughed softly. “Some people think it’s charming.”
“Some women, you mean?” she suggested. “You’ve probably had women standing in line for you since you hit puberty.”
“Not quite,” he admitted. “I was something of a geek in high school. And puny. And I had braces.”
“That paints quite a picture. I imagined you were the quarterback with cheerleaders hanging off your every word.”
“No. A computer geek. I didn’t really discover girls until college.”
“Did you make up for lost time?”
Jonah’s blood quickened. “I did my best. What about you? Were you the most popular girl in high school?”
She shook her head. “Not by a long mile. Book nerd.”
“No high school boyfriend to take you to prom?”
“I didn’t go to prom. I left high school at end of my sophomore year.”
Surprised, he asked the obvious question. “You didn’t graduate?”
“I was homeschooled by my grandmother. She used to be a teacher. I started working at the hotel before graduation and J.D. offered me a full-time job when I got my diploma, but he insisted I get a college degree no matter what. So I achieved my BA through online courses.”
“Why didn’t you go to school and college the usual way?” he asked quietly.
She shrugged casually. Too casually, he thought. But she replied. “I just didn’t fit in at school. But I was determined to get an education.”
Admiration settled behind his ribs. It was a harder road than he’d had, that was for sure. Jonah had spent his elementary years at private school and high school years at the best educational facility Portland had to offer. J.D. hadn’t neglected his financial support on his secret family. It was everywhere else that he’d failed in the parenting department.
His mother returned a few moments later, carrying a tray and looking delighted, and he knew he was in for a load of questions the next time he visited alone. As he looked around the room, he realized how much change had occurred in the house since she’d moved in a few months earlier. There were pictures on the walls now, and a large framed landscape above the fireplace. And a few plants were scattered around the room in heavy ceramic pots.
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