The Forbidden Marriage
Rebecca Winters
When Michelle Howard finds herself agreeing to nurse Zak Sadler for the next month, she's not sure what she's let herself in for!Michelle is reluctant to get so close to this sexy new Zak, whom she hasn't seen for two years. Any relationship with Zak is strictly off-limits! But when Zak proposes, Michelle is left wondering if she can risk all to say yes…?
Rebecca Winters has written over forty-five books for Harlequin Romance® and is an internationally bestselling author. Her wonderfully unique, sparkling stories continue to be immensely popular with readers around the world.
Praise for REBECCA WINTERS:
About The Prince’s Choice
“Rebecca Winters…is pure magic.”
—Romantic Times
About Claiming His Baby
“Rebecca Winters creates an extraordinary tale with a majestic setting…and a strong emotional conflict.”
—Romantic Times
Every woman has dreams—deep desires, all-consuming passions, or maybe just little everyday wishes! In this brand-new miniseries from Harlequin Romance® we’re delighted to present a series of fresh, lively and compelling stories by some of our most popular authors—all exploring the truth about what women really want.
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Is she a high-flying executive…but all she wants is a baby?
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Whatever she wants, each heroine finds happiness on her own terms—and unexpected romance along the way. And she’s about to discover whether Mr. Right is the answer to her dreams—or if he has a few questions of his own!
This month enjoy The Forbidden Marriage by Rebecca Winters.
And look out for more stories in the WHAT WOMEN WANT! miniseries, coming soon!
The Forbidden Marriage
Rebecca Winters
CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
EPILOGUE
CHAPTER ONE
MICHELLE HOWARD had just reached the second floor of her brother’s Spanish-styled home in Riverside, California, when she saw her niece Lynette come out of the guest bedroom at the other end of the hall.
As soon as their eyes met, the eighteen year old brunette jumped. “Aunt Michelle—what are you doing here?”
Michelle had probably frightened her niece who’d thought no one else was in the house besides Zak. Maybe that was the reason she’d sounded faintly accusatory just now.
“I was about to ask you the same question. Your mom said you had classes at college this morning.”
“Only one on Thursdays. It starts at eleven.”
Michelle glanced at her watch. “Considering the heavy traffic, you’d better hurry if you want to get there on time.”
Lynette’s pretty features hardened. “I think I can manage my own life, thank you.”
Both Graham and Sherilyn had been complaining about their only daughter’s change of attitude. It had come on over the summer. According to them she’d turned into someone defensive and difficult.
After this experience Michelle was beginning to understand what they meant. Lynette was behaving like a different girl. Michelle had never known her to be outright rude before.
“Forgive me, honey. I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m sorry.” With two ice bags and her blood pressure case tucked in one arm, she gave her niece a hug with the other, but Lynette barely reciprocated.
Puzzled, Michelle stepped back. Looping a strand of neck length ash blond hair behind her ear she said, “Your mother asked me to come over and check up on your uncle Zak while she did some grocery shopping.”
Her niece’s expression remained mutinous. “I am capable of waiting on him.”
“I know. It’s just that she’s an anxious sister who wanted my medical assessment of her brother’s condition this morning.”
“He wouldn’t be out of the hospital if he weren’t getting better,” Lynette said on a sarcastic note. “I’m almost nineteen, but everyone around here still thinks of me as an adolescent. You can be damn sure my parents never treated Zak like this!” Her brown eyes flashed in anger.
Michelle winced because she’d never heard Lynette so upset she’d swear in front of her. “I think it has more to do with the fact that your uncle Zak was already nine years old when my brother married your mom.”
Even at nine, Zak had been a law unto himself. Michelle remembered back to those early days when her brother Graham had worked so hard to win Sherilyn’s aloof younger brother around without coming across like a heavy handed stepfather type.
It had paid off. They had a great relationship as brothers-in-law now.
“Why do you insist on calling him my uncle? There’s no blood tie between us.”
Lynette, Lynette.
Her niece’s bizarre behavior was finally beginning to make sense. The stretch from teen to adult could be a very confusing, painful time.
“Come on, Aunt Michelle. You know it’s true. First his birth parents abandoned him and he lived in foster homes. Then Mom’s parents adopted him and then they got killed. By the time I started kindergarten, Zak was already in high school. I hardly ever saw him.”
“Nevertheless he’s your uncle, and that makes him a member of your family,” Michelle reminded her. “After Graham married your mom, they raised him and me with all the love two people possibly could. Zak and I were so lucky to have an older brother and sister who provided a stable home for us with both of our parents dead.”
Naturally Sherilyn had wanted to bring her brother home to convalesce after his accident at the construction site. Michelle supposed that like anyone just out of the hospital, Zak was probably craving a little TLC about now.
Knowing how fiercely independent he was, this was a good way to avoid the ministrations of a number of women who, according to Sherilyn, hoped to be the one. However Zak hadn’t shown signs of wanting to settle down yet.
No doubt he didn’t want any of them to see him in his weakened condition. Michelle had nursed enough men young and old in her career to understand that part of the male psyche. They wore their pride like a shield. There could be no show of vulnerability.
When Michelle’s husband Rob had fallen fatally ill, he’d been so adept at hiding his fears and emotions, he’d created a wall between them she could never breach.
“How come you aren’t working?”
Lynette’s truculent tone made the situation transparent to Michelle. Now that Zak was home for a while, her niece wanted to spend as much time with him as possible.
Since college he’d made several trips a month from Carlsbad to Riverside to visit the family, but he hadn’t come nearly as often as Sherilyn and Graham would have liked.
Michelle hadn’t seen him in two years because she’d been out of town on one nursing job or another during those times.
Caring for various patients in their own households had been her panacea to get on with her life after losing her husband to Lou Gehrig’s disease. The last contact she’d had with Zak had been at Rob’s funeral.
“I just finished a job in Murrieta.”
She didn’t add that her patient, Mike Francis, the prominent Californian pro golfer on the PGA circuit, now recovered from his severely broken leg because of a car accident, had asked her to fly to Australia with him for an invitational tournament next month.
Beneath the conventionally handsome golfer’s arrogance lived a man with a great deal of charm who could make her laugh. On top of that, she’d never been to Australia. The thought of exploring a little of Queensland and the Great Barrier Reef sounded intriguing.
Although she’d applied for a passport in anticipation, Michelle was still trying to make up her mind whether she should go. She suspected he would always love his ex-wife, yet she knew he was trying to make a new beginning with Michelle.
In the course of being his nurse, she’d learned enough about him to know he wasn’t a man who made a commitment lightly. If she didn’t want a new beginning with him just as badly, then she had no business going away with him.
Neither of them needed more pain in their lives.
“As long as we’re on the subject, how grouchy is our patient this morning?” she teased in the hope of putting Lynette in a better mood.
“He’s still asleep and won’t want to be disturbed.”
Her niece was definitely warning her off. At some point this summer Lynette had left her girlhood behind.
“I’m up now,” came a deep masculine voice sounding an octave lower than she’d ever heard it before. Surprised, Michelle wheeled around.
Her breath caught.
“Zak—”
His six-foot-two frame was braced in the doorway at the end of the hall. Alarmed to realize what an effort he was making to remain upright, she started toward him.
“I thought I heard you talking to Lynette,” he said as she drew closer. “It’s been a long time, Michelle.”
She swallowed hard.
Suddenly she had the answer to her niece’s drastic transformation.
The last two years had brought changes. Adult changes. Still and always seven years younger than Michelle, Zak Sadler was a grown man now in every sense of the word. His black hair and strong masculine features made him utterly fascinating.
The aloofness that had characterized him years ago had turned into a compelling sensuality that threw out a male challenge Michelle couldn’t possibly ignore.
He wore the bottom half of a pair of gray sweats and nothing else, unless you counted the bandage wrapped around the ribs of his chest.
Zak was all hard-muscled male with a bronzed tan that came from working in the California sun. At twenty-eight, he was a man in his prime, the head of Sadler Construction Company in Carlsbad, a beach city close to two hours away from Riverside depending on the traffic.
He’d always worked construction and knew how to save his money. Refusing Graham’s financial help, he’d put himself through college to earn his construction engineering degree. According to her brother and Sherilyn, he’d built up an enviable business by bringing many of his former co-workers together. Apparently it was thriving.
Michelle couldn’t help but admire him for knowing what he wanted and going after it with single-minded determination.
But right now all she could think about was Zak’s impact on her. She’d known him for years as Sherilyn’s adopted brother, but she’d never thought of him in a physical way until now.
Struggling to keep her voice steady she said, “It’s good to see you again, Zak, but you shouldn’t be out of bed yet. I was bringing you some fresh ice bags.”
“Just what the doctor ordered.”
Something in his tone produced a quivery sensation in Michelle’s stomach that made no sense at all.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lynette had walked up next to Michelle, her avid gaze fastened on Zak. “I could have gotten some for you.”
He gave a negligent shrug of his broad shoulders, bringing more muscles into play. “I appreciate that, but I didn’t know I was hurting again until I came awake a minute ago.”
The whole time they’d been talking, his unsettling gaze had been narrowed on Michelle. Now it flicked to Lynette.
“Aren’t you going to be late for school? With the high cost of tuition these days, you can’t afford to miss class. That’s no way to start your freshman year.”
Michelle shivered because she already knew how Lynette would react to those remarks.
Her niece’s complexion lost color before she shot Michelle a hostile glance. In the next instant she flung around and headed for the stairs without saying a word.
Zak started for the bed with difficulty.
“Weren’t you a little hard on her?” Michelle asked, hating to have been caught in the cross fire.
“Not hard enough,” came the cryptic reply. “If you’ll play nurse for a while, I’ll tell you a story.”
Heat swamped her cheeks to realize she’d almost forgotten about his broken ribs. That was one of the reasons she was here, to provide medical assistance.
By the time she reached him, he’d managed to lie down on top of the queen-size bed. His eyes were closed, his breathing shallow. The long thick lashes lay against his burnished skin. As she drew closer she noticed beads of perspiration along his hair line and black winged brows.
The shadow on his hard jawline and above his compelling mouth reminded her he was a man who could use two shaves a day, though she didn’t imagine he had the time or inclination for more than one. Either way, he was so incredibly good looking her mouth went dry.
Michelle averted her eyes, horrified to discover that she felt an attraction to Zak.
How was that possible?
She moaned deep down as Lynette’s words came back to haunt her. He’s not really my uncle. There’s no blood tie between us.
To her consternation, her body broke out in perspiration.
She placed the ice bags against his left side where she knew several two-by-fours being hoisted at a construction site had broken free to deck him and fracture two vertebrae.
“Ah…that feels good,” Zak murmured.
While she was bent over to listen to his heart and lungs with her stethoscope, an errant strand of silvery gold hair trailed against his hard-boned cheek. His eyes opened.
Through shuttered lids she felt their hazel depths absorb every feature of her face. He seemed to take his time studying her softly rounded chin, the lines of her pliant mouth. His gaze lingered on her finely arched brows and lashes which were darker than her hair.
“Still the same pansy-blue eyes though they’re not drenched with pain anymore. I’m glad to see the worst of your sorrow has passed.”
Shaken by his words, the intensity of gaze, she purposely flashed him her professional smile in an effort to conceal her awareness of him. “I’m much better these days, thank you.”
After she’d finished taking his blood pressure, she stood up and put her equipment away. “You’re the one your sister’s worried about. A collapsed lung is no joke. You shouldn’t have gotten up without someone to assist you.”
“I had my reasons.” That was the second veiled reference to something bothering him.
She felt for his pulse. “And I have mine.”
“Yes, Nurse,” he teased.
In this mood Zak was…irresistible. She was fast losing all objectivity.
“You were struggling in the doorway just now. Your vital signs don’t lie.”
He let out a frustrated sigh. “You’re right. I feel like hell. When do you think I’ll be well enough to get back on the job?”
If only once Rob could have admitted to his misery in front of her like Zak had done just now, they could have shared so much. But he wasn’t the kind of man to let go. His determination to suffer in silence had pushed her away, hurting her and he’d known it.
She let go of Zak’s strong, suntanned arm, noting the cleanliness of his hands and nails. Despite working in construction, he’d always been well groomed. He always smelled good.
Don’t do this, Michelle. What are you thinking?
“I’m not your doctor, but I’d say three to four weeks, barring no complications.”
“I can’t stay away from the condo any longer.”
She leaned back against the dresser with her arms folded. “You don’t have much choice. You need help.”
“I agree.”
His penetrating gaze followed the lines and rounded curves of her slender body dressed in cream linen pants and a sage colored, short-sleeved blouse.
Her pulse raced in reaction. She was helpless to stop it, and that made her more nervous than ever.
“You’ve put on some weight since the last time I saw you, Michelle. It looks good.” His husky tone sent a coil of warmth through her body. “Why don’t you pull up a chair and sit down. I want to discuss something with you.”
Zak hadn’t said or done anything wrong, yet she felt like she was suffocating in the enforced intimacy of the bedroom with him lying there so close and so…
She’d thought the brief feeling of guilt she’d experienced at the funeral when she’d found herself comparing Zak’s openness to Rob’s inability to let her comfort him would be gone by now.
In the interim she’d begun dating again and had met some very attractive men. Mike Francis was a case in point. So why wasn’t she thinking about Mike right now?
“Before I do that, can I bring you something else to eat? Some strawberry dessert maybe? It doesn’t look as if you’ve touched your breakfast.” The tray of food Sherilyn had brought up earlier still sat on the far side of the bed.
“The pills I’m taking have killed my appetite.”
“Then you need some medication to get rid of the nausea.”
“That’s the least of my problems,” his voice grated. “It’s important I talk to you about something else before Sherilyn gets back.”
Suddenly Michelle was transported to the past when a much younger Zak had sought her out to confide something in private.
Anxious to appear at ease around him the way she once was, she complied with his wishes and drew the bamboo chair from the corner of the room.
“What’s wrong?” she asked after subsiding into it.
His eyes were closed again, as if the mere act of talking was an effort for him. It probably was if he felt so sick to his stomach he couldn’t eat. “It’s about Lynette.”
Hearing her niece’s name reminded Michelle of the unpleasantness in the hall earlier. Without being aware of it, she rubbed her palms over her knees. “She wanted to stay home and help you.”
He made a strange noise in his throat. “Three weeks ago she lied to her parents about sleeping over at Jennifer’s and drove to Carlsbad to see me instead,” he explained without acknowledging her remark.
“When I came home for lunch, I found her waiting in my condo dressed, or should I say undressed, in the kind of bikini Sherilyn would never approve of.
“She’d let herself in the back entrance with the key I gave them in case of an emergency. To say I was shocked is putting it mildly.”
“I can imagine,” Michelle whispered. “I’m afraid you’ve been the object of hero worship for a long time.”
His lips twisted unpleasantly. “Throughout the summer she’s been acting out in an attempt to flirt with me. But I never imagined she would go so far as to actually come on to me.”
At that revelation, Michelle’s breath caught.
“When I told her to get dressed and go home before she was missed, she said Jennifer would provide an alibi for her. Then she walked over and threw her arms around my neck. After reminding me that we weren’t really related, she asked me if I was glad to see her.”
Michelle closed her eyes, unable to prevent the quiet gasp that escaped her throat.
“I as quickly removed her arms and told her I was due back to work any minute. After packing up the things she’d left strewn in my bedroom and bathroom, I forced her to give me the key.
“Then I walked her out to her car and told her to drive straight home. If I found out she wasn’t there inside of two hours, I would phone her parents and tell them what she’d done.”
After assimilating everything, Michelle said, “Did she do as you asked?”
“Yes.”
“Under the circumstances, why did you let Sherilyn and Graham bring you here after you were released from Carlsbad Hospital? I understand there are several wom—”
“I need a qualified nurse like you,” he cut in moodily, making no explanation about his personal life. “You’d know the kind of care I require.”
She did. Since his chest tube had been removed, he needed to do regular deep breathing and coughing exercises.
“Sherilyn told me you’re between jobs. That’s why I came home with them, so I could ask for your professional help in person. I’d like to hire you to take care of me at the condo until I’m ready to go back to work.”
What?
“I’ll pay for anything the insurance doesn’t cover. There will be one perk at least. When you’re not busy, you can enjoy the ocean. You’ve never been to my new condo.”
Her heart lurched.
“All you have to do is walk out of your own bedroom and step onto the beach. If you recall, it’s perfect for swimming. How long has it been since you had fun playing in the surf or got a suntan?”
Shock almost forced Michelle out of the chair. It was with the greatest restraint she remained seated so he wouldn’t guess at the true reason for the chaotic state of her emotions.
“The hospital stay has kept me away from my business too long as it is,” he continued. “It’s vital I get back home where my assistant can come over and conference with me in my bedroom if he has to.
“With you there to supervise, Lynette won’t be pulling any more stunts like the last one. Even if I could find another nurse, Lynette would find a way around her. I can’t chance that.
“Let’s pray to God some guy on campus will catch her eye and she’ll be able to chalk this up to growing pains. The last thing I want to do is embarrass her, but I will if I have to.”
A shudder ran through Michelle’s body. He never made idle threats. You always knew where you stood with Zak.
Lynette should have gotten his message loud and clear three weeks ago. The fact that she’d undoubtedly skipped class this morning in the hope of picking up where she’d left off with him, showed how in denial she was, how desperate she was for his attention.
“There’s never been friction with the family,” he confided. “I want things to stay that way.”
“Of course.” She rubbed her arms for want of something to do with all the explosive energy building inside of her.
“I told them in the car I was going to ask you to look after me at the condo. They seemed happy with the idea and urged me to talk to you.”
“We’re thrilled!” Sherilyn backed his statement as she breezed into the room. “No one will take better care of you than Michelle. An injury like yours is something she knows all about.”
Michelle’s head jerked in her sister-in-law’s direction. She hadn’t heard her in the doorway. If she’d come in the room a minute earlier…
Sherilyn, who’d bequeathed the same brown hair and eyes to her daughter, went around the other side of the bed to feel Zak’s forehead. Her concerned gaze strayed to the tray. “Still not hungry?”
“H-he will be after I ask his doctor to prescribe some antinausea medicine for him,” Michelle’s voice faltered.
The second she’d spoken, she realized she’d committed herself to Zak. In the family’s eyes there was no reason for her to turn down his request.
As for Zak, he needed her cooperation to quash Lynette’s fantasies, among other things.
If by some chance Graham and Sherilyn were to find out what had happened at his condo three weeks ago and asked her about it, Michelle feared that in her niece’s present frame of mind, she’d rebel in some way that could only hurt her in the end.
On the same note, it could turn ugly for everyone if she continued to harass Zak.
“I’m surprised the doctor didn’t write something for nausea in the release orders,” Michelle muttered absently. She couldn’t force fluids if he was too nauseated.
When she looked over and saw the satisfied expression that had entered Zak’s intelligent eyes, she started to feel afraid.
He could never find out she was attracted to him.
“Please tell me you two won’t be leaving before tomorrow,” Sherilyn pled. “Graham and I would like one more day to spoil the brother I hardly ever see.”
“Don’t worry,” Michelle spoke before Zak could. “He’s too weak to travel today. Also, Mike is taking me to dinner tonight.”
Hoping the introduction of the other man’s name into the conversation would somehow neutralize Zak’s power over her, she leaped from the chair and pushed it aside.
“I’m going to bring you some ice chips and Coke. While I’m downstairs I’ll phone Carlsbad Hospital and see if the doctor will do something about your nausea today. Hand me the tray will you, Sherilyn?”
Her sister-in-law gave it to her. “Ask Graham to drop by the pharmacy for the medicine. He’s coming home early.”
Michelle was glad her brother, a successful patent attorney, would be joining them soon. She needed space to sort out her emotions and get a grip on the situation.
The revelation about Lynette had been bad enough. By confiding in Michelle, Zak had made her party to certain private information which at this stage she agreed was better kept from Graham and Sherilyn. But Lynette’s infatuation wasn’t going to go away overnight.
As for Michelle’s awareness of Zak, that had to end right now! On her way out the door she heard him say, “Coke sounds good.”
She continued downstairs to the kitchen where she phoned information for the hospital’s number and made the call. After being put on hold several times, she was able to talk with the doctor who’d released Zak.
She explained she was the nurse hired to take of him. They discussed Zak’s therapy and his nausea. The doctor told her to have the pharmacist in Riverside phone him on his cell, and he’d prescribe something.
Relieved for Zak’s sake, she thanked him, then called her brother who said he’d get in touch with their pharmacist and handle things from there. Once she’d given him the doctor’s phone number, she told him she’d see him later.
With that taken care of, she went back upstairs carrying a tumbler of shaved ice and a cold can of Coke. She found Sherilyn seated on the side of the bed talking with Zak about his latest construction projects. His gaze swerved to Michelle’s and he stopped talking.
She approached the bed. “Graham’s on his way to the pharmacy right now to pick up your medicine.”
“Thank heaven,” Sherilyn exclaimed.
“Until he gets here, try alternating ice chips with sips of Coke. Let me prop you first.” Michelle put the things on the side table before showing him how to grip her arm and sit up using his feet and hips rather than his torso for traction.
Since the age of twenty-two when she’d become a registered nurse, and later after she’d gone on to specialize in orthopedics, she’d worked with dozens of male patients both in the hospital and later, after Rob’s death, at her patients’ homes.
She’d dealt with the broken bodies of old people, teens and athletes in the peak of physical condition. With one exception she’d never felt anything but professional concern for her patients’ welfare.
In Mike’s case, his determination to put their relationship on a personal level had won out.
Nursing Zak was something else again. She didn’t know how long she could keep up a pretense of indifference when everything about him set off her latent hormones.
It wasn’t just that he was a beautiful man according to the male order of beauty. After all, he’d been a very attractive teen. It was more than that. There was something in the way he moved, talked—his unique outlook on life—that aura of confidence and self assurance he’d always possessed—
All of it had combined to make him incredibly appealing to her and undoubtedly to any woman who knew him.
As if they had a will of their own, her eyes met his while he was drinking his Coke.
“You always did know what I needed,” he said between swallows.
Michelle could scarcely breathe. The only thing to do was put distance between them.
“As long as Graham is on his way, and you’ve got your sister to help you, I’m going to leave for my house and come back for you in the morning. There’s a lot I have to do.”
She felt Zak’s penetrating glance. “Don’t forget your swimsuit.”
While the blood was still pounding in her ears she heard a voice ask, “Where are you going?”
To her shock, her niece had come in the bedroom and Michelle hadn’t even been aware of it.
Sherilyn stared in dismay at her daughter. “No hello first?”
Zak rested the can against his powerful thigh. His eyes still held Michelle’s. “I’m taking Florence Nightingale home with me tomorrow. Technically speaking she’ll be driving me, but it amounts to the same thing.”
Michelle was aware that if Lynette could wish her to the other side of the ocean, she’d be there now.
Poor Lynette. No male students her age or any other could possibly compete with her uncle Zak.
“Michelle? When should I take his temperature again?”
Heat swamped her cheeks to realize Sherilyn had been asking her a question.
“This afternoon,” she said. “Hopefully by then the fluids and medicine will have settled his stomach. If it’s still elevated, give him some Ibuprofen. Get him up every hour to use the bathroom or walk around the room for a minute. I’ll be by at nine a.m.”
“In that case you’d better have an early night.” Zak’s unmistakable reference to her date with Mike reached her ears even though she’d disappeared from the bedroom.
CHAPTER TWO
“THANK you for dinner, Mike. I’d invite you in, but I still have some packing to do.”
His arm was stretched out across the back of the seat. He toyed with the natural curl of her blond hair that curved beneath her jawline. To her chagrin she felt no accompanying shiver of excitement.
“That’s all right. Carlsbad’s close to my grandparents’ beach house at San Clemente. Before we leave for Australia we’ll have a lot of nights together after your brother-in-law has gone to sleep.”
His words conjured an image of Zak lying on top of the bed this morning. Just remembering how he’d looked, how he’d made her feel, sent a flood of heat through her system.
Desperate for Mike to create that same kind of yearning inside her, she leaned toward him and pressed her mouth to his. It was the first time she’d taken the initiative in their relationship.
On a moan, he pulled her close and kissed her hungrily.
She should have expected this explosion of need on his part. They’d spent the last two months together while she’d helped him with his therapy. He was a normal male with normal desires.
She tried to get into it, but it seemed like the more she tried, the more it became the clinical experiment that it was. Before he started enjoying this too much, she pulled away guiltily.
“Good night, Mike. No—stay where you are.”
He reached for her hand and kissed the palm. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” He looked too happy.
With a quick nod, she opened the door of his sports car and got out. It only took a second to reach the lighted front porch of the house. She waved to him before letting herself inside.
Long after the purr of the motor had faded, Michelle was still standing in the middle of the living room, immobilized.
She should never have kissed Mike like that.
He’d been very patient with her so far. She knew he was hoping they’d become intimate in Australia. After reaching out to him just now, he was counting on it. But the whole situation had backfired on her because she couldn’t imagine kissing him again.
In truth, she couldn’t bear the thought of him touching her. The chemistry wasn’t there. It never would be. She knew that now.
Mike was a wonderful man. If he didn’t reconcile with his ex-wife, then he deserved to find a woman he could set on fire by her just thinking about him. Michelle wasn’t that person.
After her disturbing response to Zak who’d done absolutely nothing to make her come alive, she realized she couldn’t go on giving Mike hope. It wouldn’t be fair to him.
When he called her tomorrow, she would tell him Zak’s injury was more serious than she’d realized. Her brother-in-law was going to need her help for an indefinite period, so she wouldn’t be able to fly to Sydney with him after all.
The sooner Mike learned the truth, the sooner he could deal with his disappointment and move on. With a golf tournament coming up in a month, he needed to focus on his game.
Her gaze wandered around the room of the modest ranch style home where she and Rob had lived. It was here she’d nursed her husband until the last month when he’d had to be in the hospital.
After his death she’d liked getting away from it for weeks, even months at a time, then returning for a few days’ rest before another job came along.
Now a new job had come along. One she couldn’t have turned down without raising questions she couldn’t answer.
But this was a job different from any she’d had before.
She buried her face in her hands. How was she going to handle living with Zak day and night for the next month and not give herself away?
Until this morning she’d thought maybe she’d never feel the desire for physical intimacy with anyone again.
But one minute in Zak’s presence and she’d turned into a trembling mass of needs he’d ignited without even touching her or being aware of his effect on her.
She drew in a ragged breath.
Was it because Zak was so much younger than her husband or the men she’d been dating who were closer to forty, like Mike?
Rob had been thirty-seven to her thirty when she’d married him. They’d enjoyed a satisfying love life when he wasn’t too exhausted from being up in the night with sick children. She’d tried to get pregnant but it hadn’t happened.
After he fell ill, they mostly held each other. Some days and nights he felt good enough to make love, but those times grew less frequent as the disease took over.
Could it be she was one of those needy, over-the-hill widows whose senses only responded to the virility of youth anymore? She’d be thirty-six next March with a marriage already behind her.
Zak was a young and vigorous man still enjoying his single status until the right woman came along. A whole new world would open up to him when that happened.
Her feelings for Zak had always run deep because both of them had lost their parents in accidents. They’d had that loss in common and it had drawn them together. But it was shameful to be entertaining the thoughts she had about him now.
Though Lynette’s infatuation was no doubt alarming as well as irritating to Zak considering they belonged to the same family, he could forgive it because a young woman’s adoration was understandable. But if he could have known Michelle’s reaction to him this morning, he’d be repulsed.
If Mike knew how Zak made her feel, he’d be so hurt!
That’s why Michelle had to end it with him tomorrow.
After cleaning up the house, she got ready for bed. By the time her head hit the pillow, she’d worked out what she was going to say to him in the hope it would cause the least amount of pain.
But to her chagrin she wasn’t any closer to a solution that would make her immune to Zak’s powerful masculine appeal. All she could do was stay busy and mentally isolated from him when he didn’t require her help. That meant she needed to find an engrossing project.
She knew Zak had a computer at his work and the condo. Sherilyn and Graham had confided that e-mail was the best way to stay in touch with her brother between visits.
If it wasn’t too late, Michelle could use his to sign up for an on-line class through UCLA. Something challenging with a lot of homework, yet unrelated to her profession.
Relieved for that little bit of inspiration, she finally fell asleep. But it was fitful. She came awake before her alarm went off at seven.
After she’d showered and washed her hair, she dressed in blue denims and sandals. The rest of her outfit included a navy tank top layered with a white short sleeved, button-down blouse.
Yesterday afternoon she’d made arrangements about the house with the next door neighbor she paid to keep an eye on her place. Myrna Jensen had become a loyal friend who’d been so supportive of Michelle since Rob’s passing and could use the money. Michelle could trust the other woman to forward on her mail to Zak’s condo.
With that already accomplished, all she had to do this morning was pack.
And try to ignore this strange new sense of excitement she couldn’t ever remember experiencing before.
Surely it was a transitory aberration brought on because Zak had always been one of her favorite people. She hadn’t seen him for such a long time and he’d grown up a lot during the last two years.
That had to be the reason.
When she saw him again this morning, it wouldn’t be like yesterday. Her heart wouldn’t thud. She wouldn’t feel that weakness in her limbs. She wouldn’t concentrate on his mouth, imagining what it would feel like if it were covering hers.
Don’t, Michelle. Just…don’t.
She jerked a medium sized piece of luggage from the storage closet.
September at the beach could be warm to hot, or punctuated with days of fog and cooler weather, even rain. She’d better go prepared for any eventuality.
Michelle had become an expert at arranging things in one suitcase. As soon as she’d placed the cosmetic kit and medical case on top of her clothes, she closed the lid ready to go.
Remembering a time when Zak was recovering from an appendectomy and had enjoyed her reading to him, she pulled a couple of novels from the bookcase and put them in her purse along with her cell phone.
On the way out the door she grabbed the airline bag filled with crossword puzzles, board games, several decks of cards, a little battery operated radio, plenty of scratch paper and pens. Anything to help her patients escape the frustration of their physical inactivity. She never left for a job without it.
En route to Graham’s house she made three stops. One to a drive-in for breakfast. She ate while she drove to the service station to gas up the three-year-old Audi and get her tires checked. Last but not least, she bought several sacks of groceries at the supermarket. A half hour later she reached her destination and pulled in the driveway.
Because of Zak’s long legs, he’d be better off in a semi-reclining position in the front seat while they drove to Carlsbad. She got out of the car and went around to the other side to push the seat back as far as it would go. After making a few adjustments, she hurried past the tubs of flowering azaleas to the front door and rang the bell.
Her brother, who was dark blond with a lean six foot build, greeted her with a hug. His soulful blue eyes stared into hers. “I have to tell you I’m relieved you’re going to be the one looking after Zak. He puts on an act, but that’s all it is.”
“That chest tube was no fun, and he sustained a lot of bruising along with those fractured ribs. Give him a week and you’ll see a big difference. Is he running a temperature this morning?”
“A slight one.”
“That’s probably because he’s so anxious to get back to Carlsbad. How’s the nausea?”
“Sherilyn managed to get him to eat some scrambled egg and toast. So far he’s kept it down.”
“Good. The medicine’s helping then.”
“Thanks to you.”
She cocked her head. “Graham? Something else is wrong. What is it?” She was pretty sure she knew it had to do with Lynette, but she felt compelled to ask in order to be prepared for any eventuality.
He frowned. “Our daughter. Early this morning she came in our bedroom and announced she was withdrawing from her classes.”
Oh no.
“It seems she’s decided to find a full-time job. As soon as she’s earned enough money, she plans to move to her own apartment. Before we could get a word in, she left the house and drove off.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Zak’s always been a strong influence. If he weren’t incapacitated right now, I’d ask him to talk to her.”
Michelle’s eyes closed tightly. His lecture to Lynette yesterday on top of his rejection of her three weeks ago had burned her deeply. Was he even aware of this latest crisis? If not, she would tell him about it on the way to Carlsbad.
“I’m afraid her mother and I aren’t her favorite people right now,” her brother murmured.
This was one time she couldn’t comfort him. Not when she knew what was at the bottom of her niece’s unprecedented behavior. It was the kind of situation only time could solve.
“It’s obvious Lynette is trying to find herself. Maybe she should work for a while and find out what it’s like in the cold cruel world. By spring semester she’ll probably be eager to live at home again and get back in school with her friends.”
He raked a frustrated hand through his hair. “I hope you’re right.”
She put her arm around him. “I know those words are cold comfort at the moment. Just give it some time. She knows she’s got the greatest parents on earth.”
He gave her a brief smile. “Thanks. That’s nice to hear. By the way, how was your evening with Mike?”
“Good,” she answered without blinking an eye.
“Don’t let Zak give you a hard time about him.”
Her pulse quickened. “What do you mean?”
“I believe he’s as protective of you as I am.”
“Zak?” she cried softly.
Graham nodded. “He’s of the opinion Mike Francis is a womanizer. That’s the polite version of what he told me last night.”
“Zak should know the media sensationalizes everything. I’ve gotten to know the real Mike. He’s a terrific person.”
“I’m sure he is or you wouldn’t be dating him. That’s what I told Zak.” He winked. “Just thought you’d like to know I’m on your side.”
“I appreciate that.”
How ironic that she’d already decided to stop seeing Mike, and all because of Zak.
His mere existence was causing turmoil in this house. Judging by the shadows beneath Sherilyn’s eyes as she came down the stairs to find Graham, it wasn’t over yet.
“Darling? Zak heard the bell and wondered why you haven’t come up for him yet.”
“I’m on my way.” He kissed his wife’s cheek before taking the stairs two at a time.
Michelle hurried over to her sister-in-law and gave her a hug. “He was telling me about Lynette.”
“I can’t believe what’s happened.” Tears entered her eyes. “If that’s not bad enough, Zak’s going away again. We see so little of him as it is.”
“Why don’t you come to the beach on Sunday, with or without Lynette. I’ll fix dinner. We haven’t all sat down together for a long time. It’ll be good for everybody.”
It’ll be good for me to have family around.
“That makes me feel better already. I’ll bring the dessert.”
“Just bring yourselves. Let me wait on you for a change. In fact while I’m taking care of him, why don’t you plan on coming every Saturday for the next month and staying overnight.”
“You’d have to check with Zak first. He keeps his private life to himself, but I know he has a girlfriend because she called his room every day while he was in the hospital.”
For some strange reason Michelle didn’t want to hear about that. She didn’t want to think about him being intimate with another woman.
Furious with herself because she shouldn’t care about Zak’s private life one way or the other she said, “I guess we can talk about future plans on Sunday. Now tell me where his medications are.”
“In the kitchen. I’ll get them.”
“Okay. I’ll meet you at the car.”
Relieved she wouldn’t have to have physical contact with Zak until they reached Carlsbad, Michelle hurried outside and opened the front passenger door.
The month wouldn’t be nearly as difficult to get through if the family showed up on a regular basis. Maybe a miracle would happen and Lynette would come to her senses before this weekend was over.
Michelle slid behind the wheel and shut the door, ready to begin her nursing job. That’s what it was. She had a patient to take care of. Period.
Out of the periphery she saw Zak walk slowly toward the car with her brother and sister-in-law bracing him on either side. This morning he was dressed in sandals and the same pair of gray sweats.
Her thoughts raced ahead. In a few minutes they were going to be alone. She sat there and waited, not daring to look at him.
No one could actually help Zak get in the car. The breath he expelled when he lay back against the seat told her what the effort had cost him.
Graham set an overnight bag in the back seat, then shut both doors. “Drive safely.”
Sherilyn nodded. “Two of our favorite people are inside.”
“Michelle was always an excellent driver,” Zak murmured. “For a number of reasons I couldn’t be in better hands.”
Zak’s voice seemed to have taken on a velvety quality just then. She’d felt it resonate to the very core of her being.
Her hands tightened on the wheel. “I promise to call you when we get there so you’ll stop worrying. See you on Sunday,” she called to them before backing out of the driveway.
Once they drove off he drawled, “What’s happening on Sunday?”
“They’re coming for dinner.”
“That sounds nice.”
“I think so, too.” She was pleased the thought of it made him happy.
“It’ll be good for Lynette to see everyone together,” he murmured.
His comment convinced her he didn’t know the latest development. She waited until they reached the freeway to tell him what had happened earlier that morning.
“Your remarks to Graham were right on,” Zak said when she’d finished relating the gist of the conversation with her brother. “Lynette’s perspective will change once she’s part of the working world. She’s a smart girl. Given time she’ll figure out her life.”
“That’s easy enough for both of us to say, but then she’s not our daughter.”
She bit her lip when she realized what she’d just said.
“If Lynette were ours, at least we know we’d be in agreement over our course of action. Speaking of children, I know you always wanted a family one day. Did Rob’s illness affect your ability to conceive?”
Considering the fact that she and Zak used to be able to talk about anything, she shouldn’t have been surprised by his personal question. But that was before this…awareness of him had sprung into existence with a life all its own.
She had no choice but to tough out moments like this if she was going to last as long as it took to take care of him.
“He became ill before I could make an appointment with my obstetrician to undergo tests for infertility. When Rob was diagnosed, he felt it best we didn’t pursue trying to bring a child into the world.”
She could still hear her husband saying those words in his quiet yet implacable tone that brooked no argument.
“I realize his opinion was colored by all the single mothers whose children he took care of in the emergency room. No father around, no husband providing for them. No hope for a happier future. He wanted me to be free to get on with my career, my life.”
She heard Zak take a deep breath. “His reasoning makes perfect sense. In his place I would have said the same thing. To know you were going to die would bring out every protective instinct to leave your spouse in the best circumstances possible.
“But I’m not in his place yet, thank God, and I can see how much comfort you would have derived from having his child to love and nurture.”
Don’t say anymore, Zak. You understand too much. You have a wisdom beyond your years. You always did.
It was time to change the subject.
“Sherilyn told me there was a woman who called you at the hospital every day. I don’t remember hearing her name.”
“It was probably Breda Neilson.”
That sounded Scandinavian. Most likely she was statuesque and beautiful.
“Why don’t you ask her for dinner on Sunday?”
“Does this mean you’ve already invited Mike Francis?” He’d fired the question at her so fast she was stunned. Graham had warned her.
“Of course not. When I’m on duty I don’t mix business with pleasure.”
“Just after hours,” came the baiting rejoinder.
“I’d rather not talk about Mike if you don’t mind.”
“He’s not the right man for you, Michelle.”
She’d already found that out on her own, but not for the same reasons Zak judged him. Maybe it was better he didn’t know she was about to end it with Mike. For her own self-preservation the pretense of a love interest could help act as a buffer against Zak’s devastating charisma.
She fought for a steadying breath. “What I was trying to say is, you must know Graham and Sherilyn would love to meet anyone important to you.”
“When that day comes, they’ll know all about it. How long was Mike Francis laid up with his broken leg?”
They were back to Mike again.
“After he was released from the hospital, two months.”
“I understand his townhouse borders the golf course.”
“Yes.”
“To look out the window every day and know he couldn’t work on his putting, which needs a lot of help by the way, must have been tough on him.”
“It was.”
“But not too tough with you there to see to his every need.”
His innuendo sent warmth to her cheeks.
“Between therapy sessions he watched videos of his game to see where he could improve.”
“Is that what he told you,” came the mocking reply. “No doubt it fed his ego for you to sit for hours admiring him.”
Michelle blinked. Zak really didn’t like him. How could he possibly swallow all the lies fed by the media? Why did he care?
“Nursing Mike taught me about the game of golf. I never understood it or had an interest in it before.”
“And now you do.”
“Yes. Not to play, but to watch. It takes incredible skill and tenacity.”
After a pause, “Did you know his wife left him because he’d had a string of affairs?”
Michelle might not be in love with Mike, but she cared enough about him to disabuse Zak of that myth.
“It’s the other way around. He divorced his wife when he found out she’d had an affair. She wants him back. I know because she came to the townhouse several times to try to talk to him. When he refused to see her, she broke down and talked to me, hoping I would intervene.”
A strange sound escaped Zak’s throat. “The truth probably lies somewhere in-between both their explanations.”
She’d thought the same thing. “I’m sure you’re right.”
“Are you prepared to be the new focus of the press?” he demanded. “If you can’t see the way they’ll exploit the nurse turns lover scenario, I can.”
Michelle had thought about it. Zak’s blunt way of putting things only underlined her own misgivings in that department. However if she’d been in love with Mike, she wouldn’t have let fear of the intrusion of the press stop her from being with him.
“How’s the nausea?” she interjected on purpose. “Would you like me to stop somewhere and get you a drink?”
“I can see I’ve touched a nerve,” he murmured. “The answer to both questions is, my stomach seems to have settled down and I don’t require anything more than to be back in my own home with my favorite nurse.”
She smiled. “Sounds like the name of an old radio show. And now folks, stay tuned to My Favorite Nurse. I’m old enough to qualify.”
He let out a chuckle that was quickly followed by a groan. “Somebody lied,” he said. “It takes more muscles to laugh.”
“Except that laughter has other medicinal qualities to cure what ails you.”
“I happen to agree. Now tell me where in the hell you ever got the idea that you were old.”
“When you reach the venerable age of thirty-five, you won’t have to ask that question. Fortunately for you, that time is many years away yet.”
“If anyone were listening to us, they’d assume you were talking to a child. Don’t you know once a person reaches adulthood, age becomes a relative thing? You’re feeling old inside because you’ve been nursing patients nonstop since college.”
This line of conversation was starting to make her uncomfortable.
“You didn’t even take time off from your work after you got married,” he persisted. “When your husband became ill, you nursed him with everything you had in you, then lost yourself in the care of other patients. It’s time for a change, Michelle.”
“You mean I should find another way to earn my living after you no longer require my services?” she teased to hide her increasing turmoil.
“I’m talking a complete break from any kind of work.” He sounded so serious, she was astounded.
“I’d go mad from boredom.”
“Good, if that’s what it would take to shake you out of your octogenarian mind set.”
She pressed on the accelerator. “Anything else you want to get off your chest before we reach the Coast Highway?”
“I’ve only scratched the surface, but the rest can keep for later. We’ve got weeks ahead of us.”
The reminder that they’d be alone together for the next month sent tremors through her body. Michelle couldn’t explain her own overpowering awareness of him unless it was the fact that he’d been in the background of her life since Graham had met Sherilyn.
Once he’d decided to marry her, he sold the family home he and Michelle had grown up in. Being a protective brother, he found another house with a separate apartment for Michelle so they could still remain close.
Having lost their parents in a tour bus crash while on vacation in Mexico, both of them had known the agony of loss and felt compassion for Zak whose early childhood had been traumatic for him, especially when he’d only had three years with his adoptive parents before they’d also been killed in a car accident.
Though Michelle had been a sophomore in high school at the time of Graham’s marriage, she’d found time to spend with Zak and be his friend. To Sherilyn and Graham’s delight, even when she’d started nursing school and had a day off, she’d drive him to the beach at Oceanside or Carlsbad where they’d surf.
He was a natural and picked it up in no time.
Sometimes she’d take other boys in the neighborhood his age with them, but he inevitably sought her company. It was no hardship. They got along as if they’d been friends in another life.
When she thought about it, they must have explored every beach city between Laguna and Del Mar. He’d always loved the ocean at Carlsbad the most.
It hadn’t surprised her to learn he’d decided to settle there upon his graduation from college. However it took Graham and Sherilyn some getting used to because they were crazy about him and would have preferred he live in the same city.
Sherilyn Sadler had been a first-grade teacher in Riverside when she’d married Graham Robbins. After her parents’ death, she’d sold their modest home and moved to an apartment with Zak who was six at the time. For the next three years she tried to be mother and father to her little brother.
The money didn’t last long and she finally got a teaching job. Then she happened to meet Graham Robbins at a party of a mutual friend. They fell deeply in love and married. With the loss of both sets of parents, the two of them determined to give Zak and Michelle the best home they could.
But it was another difficult transition period for Zak who’d lost his ability to trust.
All this came out when as a teenager, Zak confided his innermost thoughts to Michelle on their many outings.
He was bewildered by confused memories of being shifted to different foster parents, and couldn’t understand how his birthparents could have abandoned their own flesh and blood.
Neither could Michelle. All she could do was listen.
In the listening, a bond was formed.
It went deep.
Maybe deeper than she’d realized to have survived the last decade when she’d rarely seen him or talked to him. Zak had been busy establishing his career, and she’d immersed herself in nursing both before and after losing her pediatrician husband, Rob.
Whatever the explanation for the impact Zak had made on her yesterday morning, he was no longer that angry, hurt, yet remarkable teen trying to understand his life.
Over time, with the help of Sherilyn and Graham’s love, he’d managed to heal to a great degree and was already making an impressive mark in the world.
Zak would never know how much Michelle respected him. She knew several guys in their late twenties who’d never outgrown high school and still didn’t have a thought for the future.
Right now she’d give anything for Zak’s birthparents to see what kind of man he’d become in spite of his upbringing. But that kind of thinking didn’t get you anywhere.
As Rob had said many times, and he’d seen it all in his ten years of practice before he became ill, “Thank God for the resilience of a child’s spirit.”
Zak had been endowed with that resilience.
“We’re near the ocean now,” the subject of her thoughts broke the silence. He’d come awake from his catnap.
“The beach has always been my favorite place, too. If I lived here, I’d feel like I was on a permanent vacation. That balmy air. There’s nothing like it.”
She could taste it, smell it. The fog hadn’t burned off yet. Maybe it wouldn’t, but it didn’t matter.
Unbelievably, she hadn’t seen the Pacific in almost four years. Not since she and Rob, who had just begun to show signs of his illness, had come with the family for a barbecue Zak had arranged. He’d been renting an apartment then, building a business from scratch.
Her world had changed so drastically since that time…
“Tell me where to go.” She’d stopped at a light.
“Drive south for two blocks, then turn right and follow the road down to the end. You’ll see a private alley on the left. My garage is number 2.”
In a few minutes she’d found the alley in question. In reality it was a cul-de-sac.
Sherilyn had shown her photos of the condos Zak’s company had been hired to renovate several years ago before they were listed on the market. Twenty stacked beachfront apartments had been converted into ten privately owned luxury condos, finished in a white cubicle style reminiscent of the Mediterranean.
Zak’s earnings on the project served as a down payment on one of the two ground floor condos, making his dream of living on the ocean come true. Already she could tell the pictures hadn’t done justice to the reality.
She came to a stop in front of his garage.
“If you’ll reach behind me and open my suitcase, you’ll see the remote on top of my robe with my wallet,” Zak murmured.
Like a fool, instead of getting out and walking around to the back door, she undid her seatbelt and turned to feel for his case with her right hand. Not quite able to undo the lock, she stretched a little more and finally accomplished her objective.
Once her hand closed over the remote, she brought it forward. But in the process her body brushed against his shoulder. The contact sent liquid fire through every particle of her being.
In that instant their eyes met.
Between black lashes, his resembled hot green coals.
Without permission her heart began to hammer. Her palms started to ache.
Before she lost complete control, she sat back in her seat and pressed the button on the remote. When the door lifted, she drove in next to his white truck with Sadler Construction printed on the side.
Her hands were still shaking when he took the remote and pushed the button again. The garage door enclosed them.
“I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time, Michelle. Welcome to my home.”
CHAPTER THREE
“THERE,” Michelle said from behind Zak as she fit the eighteen-inch-deep plastic wrap around his chest. It ran underneath his arms to fasten in back with Velcro.
“Your bandages will stay perfectly dry. Now into the stall. Don’t worry about your sweats. After I’ve washed your hair, step out of them and finish your shower. When you’re through, slip on the new pair of pajamas Sherilyn packed for you. I’ve put the bottoms next to the towel on the rack right behind me.”
The water was already running. It needed to be the right temperature so he wouldn’t react and jar that area of his chest which was healing.
She opened the stall door and helped him to sit on the little stepladder she’d set in place. Though she was five feet six, there was no way she could wash his hair with him standing up.
When his head was thoroughly wet she shut off the water and poured shampoo on his crown. Then she began a vigorous massage of his scalp. His vibrant black hair swirled around her fingertips.
He made a deep sound of pleasure. “That feels so good I don’t ever want you to stop.”
Michelle grinned. She knew how good it felt. “You’re going to be a new man when you get out. Now, before I turn on the water and leave you, I’m going to wash your underarms with shampoo. Don’t lift your arms! Just let me slide my fingers beneath them like this.”
Another moan of pleasure escaped. “That feels even better than getting my hair washed. Did you do these services for Mike?”
On cue her face went warm. “I do whatever I can for all my patients.” But I’ve never had one like you, Zak Sadler.
“No wonder you’re in demand,” he muttered. “My kingdom for a nurse.”
Already she could tell his spirits were improving.
“I’m turning the water back on. Let me rinse your head and underarms, then I’ll leave. However I won’t go any farther than your bedroom in case you need help. Call to me when you’re ready and I’ll remove the plastic wrapper.”
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