A Walk Down the Aisle
Holly Jacobs
Colton McCray’s an “I do” away from the perfect life.He’s got a prosperous farm and he’s lucky enough to have fallen in love with a good woman like Sophie Johnston. What more could a man, who loves the simple life, want? Certainly not a teenage wedding-crasher who’s Sophie’s biological daughter and only one of Sophie’s secrets!Marry a woman he doesn’t really know—or take a chance and trust her? No way! Though the harder Colton tries to cut Sophie out of his life, the more he wants her …complications and all. When he finds out she's pregnant with their baby, it makes it impossible for him to stay away. But first, he must forgive her past in order to rebuild the future they were meant for…
Speak now…or forever keep your secrets?
Colton McCray’s an “I do” away from the perfect life. He’s got a prosperous farm and he’s lucky enough to have fallen in love with a good woman like Sophie Johnston. What more could a man who loves the simple life want?
Certainly not a wedding-crasher who’s only one of Sophie’s secrets!
Marry a woman he doesn’t really know—or take a chance and trust her? No way! Though the harder Colton tries to cut Sophie out of his life, the more he wants her…complications and all. When he finds out she’s pregnant with their baby, it’s impossible for him to stay away. But first, he must forgive her past in order to rebuild the future they were meant for….
I object.
Those two little words had changed everything.
Colton thought he knew everything there was to know about Sophie, but, as it turned out, she wasn’t an orphan with a past that was too painful to talk about. She had family. In fact, she had a daughter.
A daughter she’d given away.
Colton knew he’d lived an even-keel sort of life. But right now his life was anything but.
He stood in front of the Valley Ridge community and announced, “I’m so sorry for the inconvenience, but the wedding’s canceled. I talked to the caterer and all the food’s being moved to the diner. Please feel free to stop by and help yourself. And please, those who’ve brought gifts, be sure to take them on your way out.”
With that, he marched down the aisle and took off toward the farm. He was a simple man—too simple perhaps to know how to handle something this decidedly unsimple.
Dear Reader,
I know when you think wine, you think the shores of Lake Erie, right? Well, if you don’t, then maybe you should. The hero of this book, Colton, runs a small winery and loves to extol the wonders of our grape-growing region…and he’s right. And while I loved introducing Lake Erie’s very real wineries in this final book of my trilogy, A Valley Ridge Wedding, this is a love story. It’s a different love story.
When we left Colton and Sophie at the end of April Showers, their wedding had been called off because a mysterious young girl objected. Tori’s trying to figure out who she is, where she came from and where she belongs. That’s a journey we all take in one way or another. My particular journey echoed Tori’s. I grew up not knowing part of my family—part of my history. I went looking for answers and found not only closure, but a new part of my family who I love and treasure.
My heroine, Sophie, has her past arrive at her wedding, and it ripples through her present. It threatens her relationship with Colton. But maybe with some time, some tears and some of that Valley Ridge magic, they can come out stronger because of it.
I hope you enjoy this last addition to A Valley Ridge Wedding miniseries! I’ve enjoyed my time in Valley Ridge so much that I’m heading back this holiday season with A Valley Ridge Christmas. I hope you’ll come visit with me!
Happy reading!
Holly Jacobs
A Walk Down the Aisle
Holly Jacobs
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
In 2000, Holly Jacobs sold her first book to Harlequin Books. She’s since sold more than twenty-five novels to the publisher. Her romances have won numerous awards and made the Waldenbooks bestseller list. In 2005, Holly won a prestigious Career Achievement Award from RT Book Reviews. In her nonwriting life, Holly is married to a police captain, and together they have four children. Visit Holly at www.hollyjacobs.com (http://www.hollyjacobs.com), or you can snail-mail her at P.O. Box 11102, Erie, PA 16514-1102.
To George and Marilyn. I might not have found you until later in my life, but don’t ever doubt that you are loved.
And to Ben, our own “Cletus.” You arrived as I started writing this trilogy, and you’ve already enriched my life more than I ever imagined possible. Always remember, you are loved…and as far as I’m concerned, you are perfect!
A special thank-you to Julie Pfadt of the Lake Erie Wine Country and to all our local wineries. And to Jeff Ore and everyone at Penn Shore Winery for showing me the ropes…or vines, as the case may be!
Contents
Prologue (#ubf71682d-5cd0-5771-bebb-a3bd068471ea)
Chapter One (#ub394a1f6-e1d6-5f92-9d1f-3918535c492a)
Chapter Two (#ufb7621b0-846c-5f26-aafd-a92d4d2e6499)
Chapter Three (#u95adeef5-7de3-5fea-8c41-54a47d82164b)
Chapter Four (#ud6d9c750-4fc6-5806-8775-a98f5c2f72f7)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Excerpt (#litres_trial_promo)
PROLOGUE
VICTORIA ALLEN PARKED her father’s black SUV next to the library. She purposefully backed it into the parking space so the plates weren’t visible. She felt a guilty sense of dread knowing what was going to happen when her parents got hold of her, but she pushed the feeling aside. She checked the GPS on her phone and headed across the bridge and into town.
Her parents would eventually have to admit that she’d taken their car for a good reason, and it wasn’t as if she didn’t know how to drive. Besides, she’d followed the speed limits much better than most of the drivers on I-90.
Thinking about her parents made her feel a sense of homesickness, though she’d only been gone a couple of hours. She couldn’t help but admit how much her mother would love this small town. As Tori walked down the quiet street, she thought that Valley Ridge, New York, looked like Mayberry. When Tori was younger, her mom had watched episodes of Andy Griffith every day at five o’clock. It struck her as ironic that her college president mother, Gloria Allen, who wore power suits and used her BlackBerry as if it was another appendage, loved such a sentimental show.
Of course, her academic, power-suited mom was a woman of unexpected contrasts. She had married Freedom Jay Allen. Though her mom called her dad Dom, it didn’t change the fact he had been born on a commune. And though he’d now joined the rest of the world, her dad was still a vegetarian, and wouldn’t know a high-flying job if it bit him. He worked from home as a painter. An honest-to-goodness, brush-on-canvas artist.
When Tori was little, her mom went to work and her dad had been a househusband.
Her mother might be conventional in many ways, but she had an unconventional streak in her nonetheless.
Actually, both her parents would love this town. Now she felt even more guilty for taking their car and driving it without a license. They were going to be so pissed.
Well, her mom would be pissed, but her dad would be disappointed in her.
Disappointed was worse.
Tori glanced in a coffee-shop window and caught the reflection of a girl with blue hair. It took a split second for her to register the girl was her. Every time she noticed it, it shocked her. But she guessed that had been the point of her minirebellion. Her mother had been mad at that, too. But rather than being disappointed, her father had smiled and said, “Way to express yourself, Tori.”
She wondered what her father was saying now.
They were going to be so worried once they realized she was gone.
Tori decided that maybe a coffee would calm her nerves, but the lights were off in the small shop. There was a sign on the door that read At the Wedding.
She went to the diner, which also had a Closed for Family Wedding sign on its door.
She looked up and down the street and saw that every business on it was dark.
The whole town shut down for a wedding?
It was a Saturday at the end of June. You’d think that a small town like this would get a lot of touristy people during a weekend in the summer.
Weird. Forget Mayberry. This place was Twilight Zone-ish. Her mom loved that show, too. And her mother liked really bad disaster films. The kind they showed on cable late at night. Her mom used the DVR for them all. Tori couldn’t count how many times she’d seen the world almost hit by asteroids or the moon, or overrun by a zombie apocalypse or some killer virus. But thankfully, some B actor or actress always saved the day at the last minute.
Guilt ate at her. She knew she could head back right now and there was a chance her parents would never know what she’d done. Her mom had some all-day college thing that she’d dragged her dad to.
But Tori also knew she couldn’t do that. She had to get answers. She’d tried to explain her need to her mom, but her mom hadn’t understood. Tori had always gotten along with her mom and dad, even though most of her friends didn’t understand it. She still loved them, but she was so freakin’ angry. She couldn’t seem to get a handle on her emotions. Not that it was the first time she’d felt confused. Her dad said it was normal to be moody in your teens. If that was the case, Tori couldn’t wait to be in her twenties.
She checked her phone’s GPS again and left the ghost town’s main street, heading into a residential neighborhood. Five blocks later, she arrived in front of a house that would have made Hansel and Gretel go all gingerbread.
It was a tan one-story house. Its shutters and window boxes were bright yellow, as were the zillion flowers planted all around the tiny yard, with its picket fence and wooden arch, which had flowery vines hanging off it.
Maybe Hansel and Gretel was the wrong fairy tale. This was more about contrary Mary and her growing garden.
Looking at the cheery little house that seemed to scream happy made Tori feel pissed. Really pissed.
The anger was a deep burning in the pit of her stomach. It had been there ever since she’d seen the letter on her mother’s desk. It had been addressed to Sophie Johnston in care of the New Day Adoption Agency. Her mom had been lecturing her on her blue hair, about how people’s perceptions are shaped by first impressions, and what was it she hoped to say with blue hair? Tori had rolled her eyes and spotted the envelope. She’d picked it up, seen the name and then held it out to her mom, who stopped midlecture and turned pale.
That’s when Tori had known the truth. Her parents weren’t hers. Somewhere out there, two other people were her real mom and dad.
Fighting about hair dye had seemed like a very minor thing as she had gotten into it with her mom over the fact she’d kept such a big secret. “I planned on telling you when you were eighteen,” her mom had said. Her mom had wanted her to be mature enough to handle the news.
Tori had almost doubled over from the pain of knowing that she wasn’t Victoria Peace Allen, the only daughter of Gloria and Dom Allen. She wasn’t sure who she was, but she needed to know.
Her mother wouldn’t tell her anything. She kept saying, “When you’re eighteen...” As if eighteen were some magic number. Like all of a sudden, Tori would decide no, she didn’t need to know who she was and where she came from. Like in four years she wouldn’t wonder what kind of woman could give away her baby.
Tori opened the stupid gate of the stupid fairy-tale house, and her anger grew. This was where her biological mother lived? In a pretty little house in a freakin’ nice little town. Not a care in the world, and certainly no worries about some baby she gave away fourteen years ago.
No. This woman had just handed over her child and gone on with her life. Her very happy, gingerbread house life.
Tori stormed up to the door and pounded on it.
When there was no answer, she pounded on the door again, and gave it a quick kick. A black mark from her boot marred its cheery yellowness. For some reason, that made her feel better. Here was the tangible evidence that she existed. Something her biological mother couldn’t deny.
Tori was about to kick the door a second time when she heard someone say, “Pardon me.”
Tori turned and saw a cop car, with a young blond guy who didn’t look very coplike despite his uniform. “Sophie’s already gone to the wedding.”
“Oh.” Oh, so Sophie had joined the Twilight Zone masses at this wedding of the century?
“Did you miss the bus to the wedding?” the cop asked.
“Yeah,” she lied. And walked over to the cop car. It had VRPD stenciled on the doors, and a bar of lights on the roof.
“Well, come on and get in.” He leaned over and opened the passenger door. “I’ll give you a lift. I’m heading out there myself.”
Tori had listened to her parents lecture her on stranger-danger since she was old enough to speak. Getting in a car with a person you didn’t know was never a good idea. That’s why she’d stolen her father’s car. It seemed like a better idea than hitchhiking. But this was a cop. There was a box in the backseat that was wrapped in wedding paper, so his story seemed plausible. Tori opted to get in the car. A wedding would give her a perfect opportunity to observe her biological mother without being noticed.
She climbed into the passenger seat and asked, “Don’t you have to protect the town from...whatever criminals do in towns like this?”
The cop didn’t take offense; instead, he smiled. “I think the entire town is at the wedding. I’m predicting things will be fine if I take a wedding break.” He paused, and said, “Buckle up.”
Tori complied, and tried not to think about how much that sounded like her dad, and how scared her dad was going to be when he found out she was gone.
“I’m Dylan, by the way,” the cop said as he pulled away from the gingerbread house.
“Tori,” she said.
“Bride’s side or groom’s?”
“I’m here to see Sophie.”
“Bride’s side it is then,” he said with a grin. “It’s a beautiful day for her wedding, isn’t it? Her and Colton...”
The cop kept on talking, but Tori wasn’t really listening as she tried to digest the fact that Sophie hadn’t simply gone to this wedding that shut down Mayberry—she was the bride, the reason the entire place was closed.
Tori had just found her mother, and here she was getting married.
The anger that had burned in her belly since she’d seen that envelope blazed with new heat.
Fourteen years ago, this Sophie had handed her baby over to strangers then had carried on with her life without a second thought. She’d thrown Tori out like some unread, unwanted newspaper.
And now she was getting married to someone. Getting ready to start a new life and probably have scads of kids with him.
Kids she’d keep.
Tori didn’t know what to do. She wished her mom and dad were here.
She’d found her birth mother and was going to crash her wedding.
CHAPTER ONE
Dear Baby Girl,
I know I usually write your letter on your birthday, but I wanted to share today with you. Today I marry the man of my dreams. My friends keep saying we’re perfect together, and while you and I both know I’m anything but perfect, he is. And I feel as if he makes me a better person. And I’m hoping if we ever meet that’s what you find...a better person.
SOPHIE JOHNSTON ROUNDED the corner of the barn, getting her first glimpse of her fiancé’s surprise for her. It was a large white arbor, practically dripping with white flowers. Colton had wanted to do something special for their wedding, and she was willing to let him do whatever made him happy because there was only one thing she needed at this wedding—him.
Her two bridesmaids and best friends, Lily and Mattie, walked up the aisle, their slow step-pause gait making her crazy because, frankly, all she wanted to do was bolt down the aisle to Colton’s side.
As Lily and Mattie continued their slow walk, Colton stepped into view and the sight of him in his tux took her breath away. He was not a tall man, but his five feet eight inches seemed more than ample considering she was five-two on a good-heel day. His dark hair was always cropped short, but he’d let it grow out a bit for the wedding, and had tamed it with gel or something, because it seemed to be staying in place.
As she waited for her friends to finish their laborious walk, moments with Colton flashed before her eyes.
Colton in his cowboy hat, walking by the plate-glass window at the diner. She’d been blatantly staring, and when he had turned and looked inside, their eyes had locked. He’d come in, strode over to her table and asked her out.
Colton taking her to the ridge on his farm. He’d made a picnic and they had sat in the Adirondack chairs he’d bought and placed up there for them. One blue, one yellow. They’d watched the sunset on Lake Erie. He’d told her that he loved her that night. She’d said, “Thank you.”
He’d told her he loved her every day for weeks, and finally one night she’d admitted, “I love you, too.” He’d said, “I know.”
He’d known. He seemed to understand her in so many ways. Sometimes he understood her better than she understood herself. And there he was, waiting for her.
Mattie and Lily finally stood to the left of the altar. The guitarist nodded at Sophie, started to play the bridal march, and she finally began her own walk down the aisle.
Sophie tried to force herself to maintain the same sedate gait as her bridesmaids had, but she wasn’t sure she was managing it. She was able to stop herself from running, but barely.
She was almost at Colton’s side when he reached down and picked up...a cowboy hat. He slipped it on his head. A white hat.
He’d told her he wore the hat to protect himself from the sun while he was in the fields or the vineyard. She’d teased him, saying he was a closet cowboy. All heart, honor and passion for the land.
He’d told her that his greatest passion was her.
Sophie stopped her headlong race down the aisle for a moment because she was laughing so hard. Colton adjusted the obviously new hat on his head and grinned at her.
This was the man she was about to vow to spend the rest of her life with.
The perfect man for her.
He laughed with ease, but more than that, he made her laugh, as well. He accepted her as she was, and had never tried to make her be something she wasn’t.
He loved her.
He wasn’t a talkative man, but his every action told her he loved her.
She took the last two steps and was at his side...where she belonged.
Where she planned to spend the rest of her life.
She grasped the hand of the man she loved.
It was a perfect day. The sky was a brilliant June blue. The field next to the arbor was dotted with new green stalks that would be tasseled corn by the end of the summer. Behind her there were rows of borrowed chairs, all festooned with white ribbons and lace and occupied by most of the occupants of Valley Ridge, New York—her friends and surrogate family. The air was awash with the scent of flowers.
But none of that mattered to Sophie. It could be stormy and cold. The entire town could have ignored their invitations. The chairs could be old and ratty, and the arbor could blow down in the gale.
As long as Colton was next to her, it would still have been a perfect day.
All she needed was him.
He gave her hand a quick but solid squeeze, and Sophie knew a sense of rightness. Of wholeness.
Of love.
“Dearly beloved,” the minister said as tiny wind chimes, which hung from the corner of the arbor, tinkled in the light breeze.
The minister inhaled, and Sophie could scarcely contain her joy. She wanted to scream yes right now. Yes, she’d take this man for better or worse. Yes, she’d take this man for richer or poorer. Yes, she’d take this man for the rest of her life.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
She looked at Colton and whispered “yes” to herself at the same moment that someone from behind her shouted, “I object.”
Sophie turned, as did Colton. As did everyone gathered in her beribboned chairs in Colton’s field. A young girl with vivid blue hair stood in the back row of the chairs. “You can’t get married yet. Not when I’ve worked so hard to find you. No. It’s not fair.”
“Do you know her?” Colton whispered.
Sophie shook her head. She had no idea what to do. When she was thinking about her wedding day, she had tried to make plans for every contingency. If it rained, they’d move the ceremony into the barn, where they had held their engagement party and where their casual reception would take place.
If the minister got ill, she knew a man at one of the wineries who’d become ordained online in order to perform weddings for his winery’s new reception hall. She’d call him.
If the caterer’s trucks broke down, she’d call in her friends and ask them to supply a quick potluck.
If her parents showed up and caused a scene, she had Valley Ridge’s local police officer as one of her guests, and he could cart them off to jail, or out of town. She knew Dylan would take them somewhere. Anywhere that wasn’t here.
Yes, Sophie was sure she’d thought of everything, considered every possibility. But she hadn’t ever imagined someone objecting to her marrying Colton.
He took her hand again, and together they walked down the aisle to the girl—at a pace much faster than the one she’d used walking toward Colton. Of all the catastrophes Sophie had imagined, having a blue-haired girl object to her wedding hadn’t been one of them.
Colton motioned the girl away from the rows of chairs. “Who are you?”
“Tori.” The name came out like a curse, filled with anger that vibrated on those two syllables. “Her daughter.” She nodded at Sophie.
Daughter? Sophie started to shake. She felt as if there wasn’t enough air to draw a breath. She felt light-headed and clung to Colton’s arm for support.
“That’s right, Mom,” the girl continued. “The baby you threw away has found you. Sorry to interrupt your day. Hell, sorry to interrupt your life.”
Sophie studied the features of the tiny, blue-haired girl, and realized that the girl was older than she looked. Just about Sophie’s five foot two inches. The girl—Tori—her features were her own. Tori’s very blue eyes sparked with pent-up anger.
Then she searched her upper lip. There. The tiniest, faintest of scars. Something no one would notice unless they were looking for it. There was the scar.
Tori. Her daughter’s name was Tori. The annual letters Tori’s parents sent via the adoption agency never mentioned her name. They simply included a few pictures, and a page or two of their daughter’s accomplishments and highlights of her year.
“Tori,” Sophie whispered. It was the first time she’d ever said her daughter’s name. Until now, she’d simply been Baby Girl, even though Sophie knew she was no longer a baby.
She gulped in air, trying to fill her lungs.
Colton said, “Sophie?” and she looked at him. She saw the moment that he realized this girl had spoken the truth. Tori was her daughter, and Sophie knew exactly three things about her. She was fourteen. She’d dyed her probably blond hair blue. And she was angry.
She was very, very angry.
“She’s mine,” she whispered, sure for more reasons than the girl’s looks, scar or height. Something in her yearned to take this girl into her arms and hold her in a way she hadn’t ever been permitted to. Something in her recognized the angry woman-child as her daughter.
“I don’t know what to say,” she admitted to both Colton and Tori.
Colton took charge. He led the two of them into the barn and away from the prying eyes of the wedding guests. The barn was strung with white lights, and there were makeshift tables covered in elegant white tablecloths set up with white china and linen napkins. Sophie loved the juxtaposition of the rustic setting and the formal place settings. The same contrast could be seen in the humble daisy and more formal white rose centerpieces.
The girl looked around the barn, and her anger seemed to grow. It radiated from her every pore like some hot, red aura.
Sophie wanted to say something to comfort her, but didn’t know where to begin. “Tori, I—”
The girl turned away. Sophie wasn’t sure if she was crying or simply too angry to speak. But Colton obviously had a lot to say. He started with, “You had a daughter and you never thought to mention it?”
Sophie wasn’t sure how to explain things to Colton or Tori. She didn’t know anything about the girl’s parents, but she knew that Colton’s family was a loving, supportive one. They filled the first two rows of seats in the field. How could she make him understand what it had been like for her at that time?
And how could she explain to this girl why she’d given her up? What words could a mother use to make Tori understand something like that?
Sophie swallowed. “Fourteen years ago, I was little more than a child myself when I gave birth to a baby girl. I never held her, and caught only the barest glimpse of her as they whisked her away.”
Tori whirled around and, rather than speaking to Sophie, she looked at Colton. “Yeah, she got rid of me. I was a burden. A mistake.” She faced Sophie, and practically screamed at her, “Did you ever even meet my parents or did you just hand me over to the agency and let them pick? Did you worry that they might beat me? Maybe they’d be crazy. Maybe they would go on and have a bunch of their own biological children and remind me every day that I’m not really theirs.”
Sophie knew that the girl had thrown those things out to hurt her, and even if none of them were true, Tori had succeeded. “I didn’t meet your parents, but I picked them.” She remembered that battle. She’d lost so many other fights then, but that had been one she’d been adamant about winning. If only the girl knew how hard Sophie had fought for at least that much—the ability to pick the couple who would raise her daughter.
“And I know that your mother had a hysterectomy, so she couldn’t have had any other children. Maybe they adopted more, but they didn’t have any biological kids. That’s one of the reasons I chose them. I wanted to be sure you were with people who would treasure you.”
Her answer didn’t mollify the girl. “Yeah, well, maybe they beat me.”
“Did they? Do they?” Sophie asked. She couldn’t begin to count the number of times she’d had a dream like that—a nightmare. Her daughter was hungry. Her daughter was lost. Her daughter was hurt. And knowing that there was nothing she could do to help this child made it worse.
Tori was silent and finally shook her head. “No one beats me. My dad’s a pacifist. He won’t even kill flies.”
“Oh.” Sophie had so many questions. Fourteen years’ worth of questions, but she sensed that the girl wasn’t here to answer them. Tori wanted answers of her own.
And behind Tori, Sophie could see Colton. She could read him well enough to know that he was asking himself, if she could keep something that big from him, what else was she hiding?
She needed to explain why she hadn’t told him. She hadn’t lied, but she’d never told him. “Colton, I—”
“I asked you,” he said softly. “I asked if you had any family. It was our second month of dating and we’d gone to my parents’, and I asked if you had a family. And you said, ‘not anymore.’” He paused. “It was a lie.”
“Not in the way you think.” She didn’t know how to make him understand. “My family is complicated. And when you asked, we’d only been dating a couple months, and I’d just met your very wonderful family. I didn’t owe you answers about my less-than-wonderful one. Not then. And later...?” After that, he’d never asked again. And Sophie had been happy that she didn’t have to explain.
He removed the new cowboy hat from his head and ran his fingers through his hair. She’d been right—he’d used some sort of gel in it. Sophie wasn’t sure why that fact registered, but it did.
“Do you have family other than a daughter?” he barked.
“In a strictly biological way? Yes.”
She waited, anxious to hear what he would say. He simply nodded. “I’m going to go talk to the caterer and we’ll have them set up the meal at the diner. Then I’ll tell everyone the wedding’s off. You take Tori and go talk. It’s obvious you two have a lot to say to each other.”
He’d said the wedding was off. For today, or forever? “What about us?”
Normally she could read Colton like an open book. But now, the book had slammed shut, and all he said was, “We’ll talk later. In the morning. Right now, you need to deal with Tori. I’ll send everyone home. Why don’t you take your...daughter, and slip out before someone corners you.”
She’d hoped he’d say, Talk to Tori, then meet me in front of the minister, we’ll work it all out. But he was calling off the wedding. They’d “talk” about it tomorrow.
Sophie had planned for any number of emergencies with the wedding, but not this. Not a returning long-lost daughter.
And not the man who was supposed to love her leaving.
There was nothing to do but nod at Colton and watch him stride back to their guests, her heart breaking into a million little pieces. She waited, silently pleading for him to stop and come back to her, but he didn’t.
“Let’s go to my house where we can talk,” she said to Tori. Her daughter.
* * *
COLTON LIKED TO THINK of himself as a simple man.
He knew he was a man of few words, but he tried to make the words he did utter count.
He tried to tell Sophie daily that he loved her. He tried to show her in his every action.
He tried to be there for his friends. For Finn, who’d suffered so much when he lost his sister Bridget last winter, and for Sebastian, who’d come home physically damaged and emotionally battered.
Yes, Colton had been content with his straightforward bachelor farmer’s life, and then Sophie Johnston had breezed into Valley Ridge. Meeting her had changed everything. His dreams expanded to include her at his side, and raising a family here together on his grandfather’s farm.
When she’d come down the aisle toward him, she’d been walking toward that simple future, as well.
I object.
Those two little words had changed everything.
He’d thought he knew everything there was to know about Sophie, but it turned out she wasn’t an orphan with a past that was too painful to talk about. She had family. And she had a daughter.
A daughter she’d given away.
Colton had always lived life on an even keel. Now his life was anything but. He motioned to Sebastian. “The wedding’s off. Do you mind if I have the caterers take the food to the diner? I know that means you’ll have to open, but—”
His friend smacked his shoulder—a guy’s form of comfort. “There’s no buts. Consider it done.”
“Thanks. If people ask what happened, tell them that I’ll explain later. First I have to figure it out for myself.”
He turned to the wedding guests. Most of them were friends he’d had since childhood. His family filled the first two rows, and he wondered how he’d explain today to them, especially when he could hardly wrap his brain around it himself.
He stood in front of what seemed like the entire community and said, “I’m so sorry for the inconvenience, but the wedding’s canceled. I talked to the caterer and they’re moving all the food to the diner. Please feel free to stop in and help yourself. And please, those who’ve brought gifts, retrieve them on your way out.”
With that, he turned, strode up the aisle and raced off down the hill toward the farm. He was a simple man—too simple perhaps to know how to handle something this decidedly unsimple.
* * *
SOPHIE HAD DRIVEN to Colton’s that morning. She hadn’t intended on driving back to her house today. They were supposed to leave for their honeymoon tonight. No cruise or European vacation. They’d borrowed their friends’ cabin in the Poconos for the week. Only the two of them in the mountain retreat. Long walks. Quiet days. A perfect way to start a life together.
And now? Sophie wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. She wanted to find Colton and throw herself in his arms. She wanted to be back at the arbor he’d built for her, saying I do in front of all their friends, then walking down to the barn for their reception. She wanted to dance with Colton and cut the cake, and...
Instead, she drove the now-silent teen back to her house. “Let’s go talk.”
Sophie noticed the big scuff mark on her front door as they walked up the stairs but didn’t comment as she let Tori inside. Sophie led her into the small but functional living room, and nodded at the red plaid couch. Tori slouched onto it and then glared as Sophie sat next to her.
“Why don’t you start,” she said softly. “You came to find me because...?”
“Why did I find you?” Tori’s voice was quiet, but that only made it easier to hear the anger reverberating in every syllable. “Oh, I don’t know. I’m going about my very normal life when I discover I’m not who I thought I was. I thought I was Gloria and Dom’s daughter. I thought my mother was a college president and my dad was a stay-at-home painter. I thought my grandparents were ex-hippie farmers. Instead, I find out I’m adopted and I don’t know anything about my real family. I found out that the reason I didn’t inherit any of my dad’s artistic genes is ’cause I don’t have his genes. And I didn’t get mom’s academic brain ’cause I don’t have her genes, either.”
“So you want to know about my genes?” Sophie asked quietly. She’d dreamed of this. Meeting her daughter. But in those dreams, there had been a happy, albeit tearful, reunion.
Not being battered by wave after wave of anger.
“Hell, no,” Tori barked. “I don’t care about your genes. I want to know how someone just gives their baby away. I wanted to see you. I want a freakin’ explanation. I deserve that much.”
“You do deserve that much and so much more. It’s a long story,” Sophie said. “I don’t know where to start.”
“How about with that guy you were about to marry. I take it he’s not my father?” Tori asked.
“No. Your father was my high school boyfriend. His name was Shawn and I thought I was in love. For that one blink of an eye, I thought Shawn and I would be together through everything. Anything.”
As she remembered those long-ago feelings, she recognized how shallow they were. She so wished Colton had been Tori’s father. He’d have stood by her. He’d have done the right thing, no matter how hard it was. By right thing, she didn’t mean marry her. She might have been young, but even when she was pregnant with Tori, she’d known she never wanted anyone to feel obligated to stand by her. By right thing, she meant he’d have stayed and helped raise the child they’d created. Colton would have supported her against her parents, and she had no doubt that with Colton by her side, she’d have won.
“And the guy, this Shawn, who was my real father. He didn’t want me, either?”
She longed to say something to help Tori. To ease her anger. But she knew what it was like to feel betrayed by a parent, and she didn’t think there were any words that would erase that kind of pain. She’d try, though. “Shawn. Shawn Mayburn was his full name, in case you want it. He—we—were both kids. Not much older than you are now. We were high school sweethearts, making plans for our future. He’d go to college two years before me, but that was okay, because he’d be able to show me the ropes when I got there. We’d get our degrees, backpack through Europe and then...well, things got fuzzy then. Still, we knew we’d have a phenomenal life. We had all kinds of ideas. But we didn’t plan on having a baby—at least not when we were still in our teens. Please, Tori, no matter what you think of me, you have to know you were always, always wanted. And loved.”
Tori reached out and snagged a corner of the throw over the back of the couch. She rubbed a section between her forefinger and thumb, and finally asked, “So, what happened? If you wanted me and loved me, and you loved my father, how come you let me be adopted?”
“I—” This had been a whirlwind, but suddenly Sophie realized that she hadn’t asked. “Where are your parents?”
“I—” This time it was Tori who hesitated.
Sophie might be brand-new at parenting, but even she could see the guilt written all over Tori’s face. “Do they know you’re here?”
Tori shook her head. “No.”
“You ran away?”
“Not exactly.” Guilt clearly replaced Tori’s anger. “I ran to, not away. I ran to you. To find you and find some answers.”
“You need to call your parents right now,” Sophie said. She could only imagine how scared they must be.
“No.”
“Tori, this isn’t negotiable. I’ll answer any questions you have as honestly as I can, but I won’t tell you another thing until you call your parents and tell them where you are.”
“I’m not what they want,” Tori blurted out, the pain of that knowledge—right or wrong—evident in her voice. “When I found out, I realized how disappointed they must be that they adopted a clunker kid. Mom makes her living educating kids, yet has one who doesn’t get straight As. I get Bs and sometimes Cs except with anything technology. Those classes I always ace, but it’s not really academic, is it? I have a bizarre sense of how things work. I’ll never read Proust for fun. I’m Mom’s big disaster. And Dad, he’d love an artsy sort of vegan kid, and instead he has a hamburger-eating one who can paint the walls in her room, but not much else. They’re both extraordinary, and I’m...I’m not. I’m an average kid.”
“So you looked up your biological mom because you wanted someone to blame for your mediocrity?” Sophie asked. She realized it came out snarky, but listening to Tori, she thought that maybe her daughter needed a bit of snark if those were her biggest complaints about her parents.
Tori shrugged. “Maybe partly. Maybe I wanted to find you and find there was something special about me. And maybe I hoped that I’d find someone who understood. Maybe there was some genetic...”
Sophie filled in the blank. “A mediocrity gene?”
“It sounds stupid when you say it.” She rubbed the afghan harder.
“Maybe it is. Here’s how I see it. You are who you are. Part of that is the genes I gave you. Part of that comes from Shawn’s genes. Part of that is the way your parents raised you. And part of that, the biggest part, is you...the essence of you. No amount of genes or environment can change that essence.”
“So I’m screwed.” Tori slouched even further.
Sophie might not have ever parented a child, but she’d seen Bridget, and now Mattie, holler at a kid without saying a word. She tried quirking her eyes and frowning at Tori’s totally awful word choice.
It got the desired result.
Tori raked her hand through her short blue hair. “Sorry. I am sorry for everything. I didn’t come here to ruin your life, too.”
“You haven’t ruined my life.” Sophie wanted more than anything to reach out and hug this child she’d fought so hard for. This child she’d thought of every day for fourteen years. This child she loved.
But she didn’t have the right.
“Maybe I didn’t ruin your life, but I definitely ruined your wedding.”
Sophie thought about Colton’s expression when she told him that, yes, she’d had a child. The pain and the accusations there. “Colton loves me, and I love him. We’ll figure it out,” she said with more confidence than she felt. She needed to get back to finding out where Tori’s parents were, and having her call them.
“It’s just that, I got to town and everything was closed for a wedding, then I got to your house and you weren’t here. This cop stopped and thought I was a guest and that I missed the bus to the wedding. Your wedding. I thought it was a great opportunity to see you without introducing myself, without explaining who I was. So I sat in the back, and then there you were, so beautiful and so happy as you walked down the aisle. And these ladies in front of me whispered that you were perfect, and you and Colton were perfect together. I...”
“You?” Sophie prompted.
“I was so angry. How could you be that happy when you gave me away? I was an inconvenience, and you took care of it by getting rid of it. You went on to build this perfect life...without me. I was so mad when the minister started talking and I knew that you were leaving me again. You were going on with your happy life without a thought of me. Then I was standing, objecting...”
There was so much pain. Not anger like Sophie had thought, but straight-up raw and deep pain. And Sophie knew everything Tori was feeling was her fault. She’d done this. She’d made the best—maybe the only—decision she could. She’d tried to give her daughter everything she’d never had. A nurturing, loving family. And all she’d managed to do was hurt her. “Tori, I’m so sorry—”
“No, I’m sorry.” Tori had tears in her eyes. “I screwed up your life. Getting rid of me was probably the smartest thing you ever did.”
“Losing you... I didn’t get rid of you, I didn’t throw you away. I lost you.” Sophie recalled when the doctor said she’d had a baby girl, and how she shouted about wanting to hold her, but her mother had been there, shaking her head. They’d taken Sophie’s baby away, and all she remembered after that was screaming until a nurse gave her a shot of something that knocked her out. Then it was the next day and her baby was gone.
She’d never held her baby. But she’d had some comfort imagining her baby’s adopted mother holding her. She’d thought about how joyful her baby’s parents must have been after trying for so long to have a baby.
“How did you lose me?” Tori asked.
Sophie offered a weak smile, emotions rolling and mixing together into a tsunami of feelings that she couldn’t sort out. “I wanted what was best for you, and best for you wasn’t being raised by a mother who didn’t even have a high school diploma and who had no way of earning enough money to support you. I lost you because I loved you that much. I swear we’ll talk about all of it, but not now. Right now we need to call your parents.”
“Why don’t you call them my adopted parents? You’re my mother.”
“No, I am the woman who gave birth to you when I was little more than a girl myself.” That was the moment she stopped being a girl. She’d lived her entire adult life with the pain of not being able to hold her baby, or to keep her, embedded in her soul.
“They are your parents. They’re the ones who made you feel better when you were little. They’re the ones who know you best. They know your favorite color. They were there your first day of school. They came and comforted you when you had a bad dream.” At least she hoped they’d done all that. Things like that were what she longed for growing up. She had wanted to give the gift of those moments to her daughter.
Quietly Sophie asked the questions she needed answers to. “Did they ever hurt you?”
“You mean like hit me or lock me in closets?” Tori shook her head. “No. They love me...or love the me they want me to be. But I’m never going to be a straight-A student. And I’m never going to be an artist or even a vegan. I can’t be. They gave me everything, and I’m still a screwup.”
“You’re perfect,” Sophie told her.
Tori snorted.
“You can’t be what they envision, or even what I envision. And if no one else has ever mentioned it, let me assure you that you shouldn’t try to be what any of us want. You need to be you. And you’re perfect at that...at least you’re perfectly equipped to do that. To be the person you’re meant to be.”
“So, your day job is writing lyrics for bad country songs?” Tori sniped.
“I wish someone had said those words to me when I was growing up. Even more, I wish I’d figured that all out when I was still in my teens.”
Tori didn’t say anything this time. Sophie pushed. “I need your parents’ number.”
“I won’t go back.”
There was a stubbornness in Tori’s expression, and Sophie could hear her mother telling her, “I hate it when you look like that. Like you’re almost daring me to try and get you to...”
The getting-you-to changed. Her mother had tried to get her to do ballet. Sophie had refused after the first few lessons. She’d hated it. If there was a rhythm gene, then she had received the antirhythm variety. There had been other attempts at getting-her-to. Piano. Drawing lessons.
Which made her think of Tori’s artist father. “You need to call them.”
“I came here to know you, and I’m not going back yet. I have so many questions, and if you try to get rid of me again, I’ll run away and—”
“No threats,” Sophie warned. “Don’t say things you might feel obligated to make good on. Legally, I’m nothing to you. They’re your parents, and I guarantee they’re worried.”
“I—”
Sophie interrupted again. “No excuses, no threats. The number. We’ll call them and then we’ll work something out. Even if they take you home right away, you’ll go knowing that I love you. That I never gave you away. And that that was the single most painful thing that’s ever happened to me. If your parents do insist that you leave now, then when you’re old enough, you’ll come back and we’ll talk. No matter what, you’ll know you’re loved. Maybe you don’t believe it but, Tori, of all the things you need me to tell you, that’s the most important thing. You were loved. You are loved. You were wanted. You are wanted. And as far as I’m concerned, not knowing anything more about you than the fact you’re tenacious, you have blue hair and you’re very angry, I still know that you are absolutely perfect.” And for the first time ever, Sophie leaned over and touched her daughter. She gently ran a finger over Tori’s cheek, brushing against a strand of her blue hair.
It was such an easy gesture, but Sophie knew that she’d remember that one small touch for the rest of her life.
“But...” Tori started, then looked at Sophie and nodded. She rattled off a number.
Sophie dialed, and felt sick as she said, “Hello, uh, you don’t know me...I’m Sophie, I gave birth to your daughter fourteen years ago. Tori’s here with me now....”
CHAPTER TWO
IT TOOK A LITTLE MORE than two hours for the Allens to drive from their home outside Cleveland, Ohio, to Valley Ridge, New York. The little slip of Pennsylvania that stood between the two states didn’t usually take a long time to navigate.
After she’d made the call, Sophie had slipped off her wedding dress and hung it carefully in her closet. She’d stroked the material for a minute and tried to imagine what she would be doing now at the reception. She shut the door on that fantasy. She knew that life wasn’t a fantasy. She’d met Colton and, temporarily, she’d forgotten that fact.
She slipped on a pair of jeans and a blouse. She thought about taking her hair down, but there were so many bobby pins, and so much hairspray in it, she didn’t think she could until she showered.
She didn’t want to lose a minute of her time with Tori to showering, so she’d gone back into the living room. She’d stood in the doorway, drinking in the sight of her daughter on her couch. Anger. Pain. Blue hair. Still gripping the throw on the couch between her finger and thumb. Every inch of Tori was...perfect.
She wished she could make her daughter see that.
During those one hundred and twenty minutes they waited for Tori’s parents to arrive, Tori peppered Sophie with questions ranging from her family’s medical history to Sophie’s educational background. She asked about Sophie’s job here in Valley Ridge.
She didn’t ask again why Sophie had given her up.
She didn’t ask about her father.
The questions she didn’t ask bothered Sophie more than the ones she did.
Tori startled when the doorbell rang. “It’s them, isn’t it?”
Sophie nodded. “I imagine so. Do you want to get the door, or shall I?”
“You. They’re going to kill me.”
Sophie got up and, before going to the door, walked by her daughter and patted her shoulder to comfort her and to allow herself one more touch. She went to the small foyer and opened the door. The woman, Tori’s mother, wore a pair of black pants, low heels and a no-nonsense fitted white blouse. She was wearing a very classic set of pearls and had pearl studs in her earlobes. Her light blond hair was pulled back into a chignon.
Tori’s father had on jeans with a hole in one knee, wear marks on the other and a couple of paint splotches. He wore brown loafers and a T-shirt with pictures of doors on it that read The Doors. His dark brown hair was shaggy, as if he’d forgotten to get it cut for several months.
“Sophie?” the woman asked.
Suddenly, it occurred to Sophie that she didn’t know Tori’s last name. She’d only mentioned her parents’ first names. “Gloria and Dom?”
They both nodded.
“Thank you for calling us,” Gloria said stiffly.
“Tori’s in the living room.” Sophie knew that Tori’s parents needed to see her—to touch her, to know for themselves she was all right.
Sophie had been right. As her parents entered the room, Tori got up from the couch and was enveloped in her parents’ hugs. For as completely composed and business-looking as Gloria appeared, she was unabashedly crying as she embraced her daughter. “Don’t you ever do anything like that to us again.”
Dom sounded heartbroken as he added, “You could have talked to us. We’d have brought you—”
Tori pulled back, the happy reunion forgotten. “No, Dad, don’t say you would have supported me and brought me to meet Sophie. You didn’t even tell me I was adopted. I still wouldn’t know if I hadn’t seen that envelope. You both lied to me my whole life.”
“Victoria, it’s time to go,” her mother said, tears forgotten. “We’ll discuss this later. Right now, you’ve barged in on Sophie and—”
Tori pulled back from her parents’ embrace. “No, Mom. I’m not going. I got a few answers, but I need more. I need to know Sophie. If I can know her, maybe I can figure me out.”
Sophie felt awkward in the midst of the volatile family confrontation. “Tori, I—”
Tori whirled on her. “Oh, I know, I’ll interrupt your perfect life. I already ruined your wedding. I’m an inconvenience, but I’m not going home to Cleveland yet.”
“Victoria—” her mother started, but her father interrupted.
“Tori, give us a minute.”
“Where should I go? Sophie’s house is small. I’ll hear you wherever I am. And honestly, I think I’ve proved I’m an adult.”
Dom had struck Sophie as a free spirit. Seeing him with Tori’s mom, a decidedly unfree spirit if ever she’d met one, seemed incongruous, but in this instant, he transformed into a father—a firm but loving father who expected to be obeyed. “Tori, if anything, you’ve proven how immature you still are. I’m not denying that we should have told you sooner that you were adopted, but that doesn’t excuse your conduct. You are fourteen, and you stole our car. Not only that, you drove it out of state.”
“I read the driver’s manual. I know all the rules. I think I was the only one who drove the speed limit the whole way here. And I’ve driven all kinds of vehicles at Nana and Papa’s farm. I was confident I could manage. And I did.”
“It’s illegal. If you’d been stopped...if you’d hit another car...if...” All the things that could have gone wrong had obviously been playing in his mind.
“You drove here?” Sophie asked. It occurred to her that a good parent would have asked how a fourteen-year-old arrived in Valley Ridge. The town was too small for a public transportation system. That left either driving or hitchhiking.
She felt sick at the realization Tori had driven across three states. She couldn’t stop the images of what could have happened. Scenes from nightly newscasts played in horrible detail, all of them with Tori as the focus.
“Go outside, Tori,” her father said firmly “Find a seat on Sophie’s porch and don’t move from there. We’ll come get you in a little bit.”
“Fine.” Tori whirled and headed toward the front door.
“And if you go anywhere other than that front porch, I’ll track you down and I’ll—”
“What? Spank me?” Tori laughed.
“I might be a pacifist, but believe me when I say, if that’s what it took to get you to understand how incredibly stupid you’ve been, well, I’d do it. Don’t tempt me.”
Tori looked taken aback by his response. She hid it by turning on her heels and slamming the door behind her for good measure.
Sophie didn’t know what to do, what to say. “I’m sorry.”
Dom quirked one eyebrow and Sophie thought of Star Trek’s Spock, which struck her as an absurd thought to have in the midst of the day’s events.
“For what?” he asked.
She shrugged. “I don’t know, but I can’t help feeling this is all my fault, and I’m sorry.”
“Let’s sit down.” He assumed the role of host and got them situated in the living room, he and his wife on the couch, Sophie opposite them on the chair.
“If anyone should be sorry, it’s me,” Gloria said. “Dom wanted me to tell Tori she was adopted from the day she arrived home, but I...” She shook her head. “I couldn’t bear it. I sent you those letters every year through the adoption ageny, and part of me relished sharing her development with someone I knew cared. I was so grateful to you for choosing us. I spent days writing them. Picking out pictures. But I never told you her name or ours because I was afraid. She’s mine. Every time I mailed out a letter, I’d be sick with worry that you’d realized how much you gave up and come to get her, but that didn’t stop me from writing down all the details I thought you wanted to hear. I needed to prove to you that you were right to choose us. But it scared me to death.”
“So that’s why no names?” Sophie asked. All she’d ever known her daughter as was Baby Girl. Every year, after she read Gloria’s letter, she’d write her Baby Girl a letter in response. She could have sent them to Tori through the agency, but frankly, pouring her heart out to her child didn’t seem fair. At some point, she’d give her daughter the box of letters. Maybe it would help answer her questions.
“I know. Not even her first name. That was cruel.” Gloria leaned into Dom with a real need to touch him evident in her expression.
“No. You were so generous sharing her moments. When I received that first letter chronicling all those milestones in her first year...” Sophie fought to hold back the tears. “For weeks, I read it every day. I can recite the letter to you word for word. But at some point, I knew I couldn’t go on that like that. So, I put it away. And each year, when you sent the new letter, along with the pictures, I’d read it through, then I’d reread all the old ones. I’d write my response and put it away, as well. I gave myself one full day to appreciate them, to look at Tori and marvel at her. Then I’d put the box away and would go back to living my life. You provided that one letter to me and then went back to being her mother. I get that. You wanted to keep her safe.”
“But I failed. I hurt her by not listening to Dom.”
Maybe Sophie could see Gloria’s guilt because it mirrored her own. She saw it and recognized that they didn’t simply share a love for Tori, but also the guilt that came from wondering if they’d done the right thing.
Dom squeezed his wife tighter into the protection of his arm. “You can’t know if things would have been better or worse if we’d told her. The fact is we didn’t. The two of us. And now we have to deal with the repercussions. The three of us. We have to forget about blame and guilt. We need to figure out what to do for Tori. She’s in pain, and we need to decide how best to help her.”
Sophie looked at these two people who’d been parents to her daughter, and a sense of peace swept through her pain and guilt. No matter what she’d done, she’d found her daughter wonderful parents. “I’ll do whatever you both think is best. She’s your daughter. I don’t want you to think I’ve forgotten that.”
“Thank you.” Gloria studied her a moment, then repeated, “Thank you. So what do we do now?”
“No,” Tori shouted from the doorway into the living room. “I’ve decided that I’m not going to sit outside and let the three of you decide my fate. Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m staying with Sophie for a while. Think of it as summer camp.”
“Victoria Peace Allen—” Gloria stuttered to an abrupt halt, as if she couldn’t think of what to say next.
Sophie realized that she now knew her daughter’s full name. And on the heels of that thought came a single word...Peace?
Dom must have seen the look because he nodded and said, “Peace.” He started to laugh. Gloria, then Tori, started laughing, as well.
“Dad’s a hippie. A commune-living, vegan-eating hippie,” Tori supplied. “So are Nana and Papa.”
Dom shook his head and clarified, “My parents were the hippies. I’m merely the son of hippies.” He turned to Sophie and explained, “Gloria picked Tori’s first name. I got to the pick the second. My name’s actually Freedom Jay Allen.”
“Which is why I call him Dom,” Gloria said with a sniff.
Despite everything that had happened that day, the shock layered onto pain, layered onto utter confusion, Sophie found herself smiling.
“And you grew up in a commune?” she asked.
“Well, like any child, I lived where my parents decreed.”
“Nana and Papa never decreed a thing in their whole lives.” Tori turned to Sophie. “They don’t live on a commune anymore. They run a CSA in Pennsylvania.”
“CSA?” Sophie asked.
“Community-supported agriculture. Basically, people buy shares of their farm’s crops. They’re still hippies,” she added in a conspiratorial whisper.
For a moment, all four of them were quiet. And slowly, the leftover smiles faded, and Tori stared at the three adults. “I get it, you know. I get what you meant, Sophie. They’re my parents. They’ve raised me. Nana and Papa are my grandparents. They all know me. They were there when I took my first step and started school.” She turned to her parents. “I get that. And I love you both. Nothing will ever change that. You are my parents. But you need to understand, I can’t leave until I know...”
“Know what?” Sophie asked. “I swear, I’ll tell you whatever you need to know.”
“I don’t know, but I need to figure it out. I need to work it out in my head. If you try to make me leave before I do, I’ll run away again.”
“No threats,” Sophie repeated. “Remember?”
“I can’t go home without knowing.”
There was desperation in Tori’s voice. Sophie couldn’t decide if Tori was desperate for answers or desperate to be understood.
Maybe both.
She wanted to go hug her daughter. But she knew she’d been right when she’d told Tori that Gloria and Dom were her parents. She watched them both pull Tori onto the couch between them and wrap their arms around her.
And that moment solidified the knowledge that she’d done the right thing. All those years ago, as she had read letters from people asking for a baby, she’d seen Gloria and Dom, and a feeling of rightness had settled over her. She’d known these were her daughter’s parents. And they were.
“Here’s what I suggest,” Dom finally said. “The three of us are going to go—”
“I meant it, Dad,” Tori interrupted, her anger back in place.
Dom shot her a look that shut her up and he continued, “We’ll go find a hotel for the night. The three of us can discuss things, then tomorrow morning, the four of us will meet for breakfast someplace neutral and decide how we’re going to handle this.”
“By this, he means me,” Tori informed Sophie.
Sophie found herself agreeing to Dom’s plan with gratitude. She called JoAnn, who had two rooms available at her B and B. “It’s only a few blocks away,” she assured the worried-looking Tori. “And why don’t we meet at the diner for breakfast? You name the time.”
They agreed on ten.
As the family walked to the door, Tori turned and said, “I’m sorry about the wedding.”
Remembering an old saying, Sophie told her daughter, “It will all come out in the wash.”
“Wedding?” Gloria asked.
“Today was her wedding, Mom,” Tori admitted, shamefaced. “I objected.”
Tori’s parents started talking, but Sophie interrupted. “Tori, of all the things you need to worry about right now, that’s not it. If anything, you should sympathize with Colton. He didn’t know about you, kind of like you didn’t know about me. Sometimes people keep secrets out of malice, but sometimes, they keep them because that secret’s simply too hard to talk about. Losing you...well, if I had to talk about it every day, I don’t know that I’d have made it. And I’m sure your mom didn’t think of you as anything but her daughter. Trying to explain there was another facet to that...” She turned to Gloria. “I get it.”
“But—” Tori objected.
Sophie stopped her. “Listen, we’ll meet tomorrow and try to figure out what’s best for you. That’s always been my number-one concern, and even though I’ve just met them, I know it’s your parents’, too. So, you three go talk tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow at ten at the diner for breakfast.”
Tori nodded, and Gloria wrapped her arm around her daughter’s shoulders and led her toward the car.
Dom hung back for a second. “You didn’t want to give her up, did you?”
“I loved her then, and now. Everything I did I did for her. I chose you and your wife because you seemed to be such a balanced couple. Your letter about longing for a child... I gave Tori the best life I could. And despite everything, I’d do it again.”
He studied her, then nodded and followed his family.
The three of them were a unit. A family.
And Sophie knew that even though she’d given birth to Tori, she’d never be more than that—the woman who gave birth to her.
Tori might not realize that fact yet, but she would.
Sophie would see to it.
CHAPTER THREE
COLTON SPENT a sleepless night.
He’d picked up his phone a dozen times, ready to call Sophie. Wanting to tell her they could work it out. Needing to tell her how much he loved her.
And yet, he couldn’t manage it.
Every time his phone rang, he checked the caller ID. Not one of the calls was from Sophie, but there was a distinct possibility that half of Valley Ridge had left him messages. Finn and Sebastian had tried to contact him multiple times, but he hadn’t picked up. He couldn’t talk to anyone until he spoke to Sophie.
And he had no idea what to say to Sophie. So he didn’t call her or pick up for anyone else. Instead, he paced. He cursed. He watched the clock tick forward, and thought about what they should have been doing at each hour.
Now, we’d cut the cake.
Now, we’d have our first dance.
Now the reception would be over, and he’d bring his wife home.
Now...
None of that had happened.
At eight in the morning, he knew a phone call wouldn’t work. So, he drove to Sophie’s house. The house they’d planned to put on the market because she was going to move into his house after they got back from the Poconos.
As a matter of fact, now they should be in the car and headed to their friends’ mountain retreat.
He knocked at Sophie’s door. He hadn’t knocked on her door for months. Not since the day she’d given him a key. As he waited for her to answer, he noticed a dark scuff mark on the door itself and wondered what had happened.
He wondered if she’d been so upset that she kicked the door when she got home, but he knew her wedding shoes couldn’t have left a mark like that.
The door swung open and there she was. He drank in the sight of her. It felt as if he hadn’t seen her in years rather than just hours.
“I thought you’d come,” she said by way of a greeting as she opened the door and let him in.
“Kitchen?” he asked, trying not to notice the boxes that were pushed against the hall walls. She’d told him that she’d started packing her mementos and books. The only furniture she was bringing was her grandmother’s writing desk and rocker. He’d told her to feel free and move in whatever she wanted. She’d hemmed and hawed about the plaid couch she loved. He’d assured her that she could redecorate the whole house if she wanted. She could buy them a pink polka-dotted couch and he’d sit on it, as long as she’d sit next to him. She’d kissed him after that declaration—only a small peck on the cheek—and told him there wasn’t anything she wanted to change about the house. It was perfect.
She’d laughed then and told him that maybe, if they were lucky, in a few months, they’d change one of the guest rooms into a nursery.
The thought of Sophie pregnant with his child had thrilled him.
But that memory only served to remind him that while that child would have been his first, it wouldn’t have been Sophie’s first. She’d had a baby and given her away.
And she’d never told him anything about that baby.
And she’d certainly never mentioned who the baby’s father was.
He felt an uncharacteristic spurt of jealousy at the thought of some unknown man with Sophie.
“The kitchen is as good a place as any,” she replied, pulling him back to the present.
The last time he’d seen her, she’d been wearing her wedding dress. Her hair had been all fancy and styled. Now, she didn’t have on a speck of makeup, and her hair was pulled back into a messy bun. She wore a pair of cutoff sweats and his old Gannon University T-shirt.
She looked like his Sophie again.
But he wasn’t sure she was...he wasn’t sure she had ever truly been the woman he’d thought she was.
She nodded at the table in the sunny breakfast nook and took a seat. He sat across from her.
Colton had planned to start slowly. To ask her to tell him what happened, but instead he found himself jumping right into the thick of it. “How could you be willing to marry me and never tell me about whatever happened in your past? You said your parents were dead.”
“They were—are—dead to me. They stole the life I planned. They stole my hopes and dreams. They stole my daughter,” she added softly. “I couldn’t stop it. I work at forgiving them every day—not that they’d ever think to ask for my forgiveness. I work at it anyway, and most of the time I think I’ve succeeded in forgiving them, but I can’t forget any of it. I finished school and then I left. I changed my name and I’ve never, never looked back.”
She wasn’t even really Sophie Johnston? “Who are you really?”
“Sophia Moreau-Ellis.”
He tried to imagine her as Sophia Moreau-Ellis, but he couldn’t. She still looked like Sophie.
His Sophie. But she wasn’t his—not really. Not ever.
“And you haven’t seen your parents since?” He couldn’t imagine that. He was close to his family. His parents had been calling, wanting to be there for him. Normally, he’d want that, too, but this time, he simply wanted to be left alone to process what had happened.
“My parents aren’t anything like yours. Image. Position. Money. Those are the things that matter. I think the fact that I’m gone is a relief to them. They can moan to their friends about how ungrateful their daughter was. But, to be honest, I can’t imagine my name comes up often.”
Her parents were rich. He knew that suddenly. “You have money?”
“A trust my grandmother set up.”
Which explained how she could afford her house. She worked hard at her job, but since he was a member of the newly formed wine association, he knew what they paid her for her PR services. Even with the other occasional freelance jobs she did, now that he thought about it, he knew she had to have another source of income.
Sophie having a trust fund made the idea of her marrying him even more of a mystery. He’d always wondered why she’d chosen him. Sophie could have had any man in Valley Ridge.
Any man, period.
And yet, she’d picked him.
“My grandmother’s father started with one small gas station. West’s. It grew into a large chain in Ohio and Kentucky. The name has meaning there. That makes my mom first-generation rich. My dad’s family, the Ellis family, made their money in fertilizer two generations ago. He’s worked hard to get the stench of that poop off him all his life.” She said the words as if by rote, as if she’d said them or thought them many times.
It all made sense now. “So, your family’s rich. You’re rich. A poor little rich girl? You came here and worked as a PR person. You found a simple farmer and thought, Gee, that’ll show my parents?”
“I came here and worked at a job I’d been preparing for since birth. Public perception is everything in my family. My parents could be fighting, screaming at each other, then hold hands and be all smiles for a party. I learned how to present a public face at birth. I simply took all those tools they gave me and turned it into a job. I take the wineries and give them a public face.”
For a moment, he thought she was going to cry, and that would be his undoing, but she didn’t. She simply said, “And when I came here, I planned on finding a place I could build a home. I came looking for a community. I didn’t plan on finding love. Frankly, I didn’t plan to ever marry. Especially...”
“Especially what?” he asked. “You didn’t plan on marrying, especially not a farmer? Not a man who comes home covered in dirt? A man who rhapsodizes over a new tractor, not the newest opera? A man who wears a cowboy hat and lives in a house his family has owned for generations?”
“I never planned on marrying...especially not a man as perfect as you.”
* * *
SOPHIE WAITED, PREPARING herself for more of Colton’s questions or accusations. “I want to tell you—” she started.
But he shook his head. “Sophie, it’s obvious that you aren’t the woman I thought you were. I’m not saying this to be cruel, or to hurt you. And I don’t want you to think it’s because you had a child. It’s simply—well, not simply. Nothing about this is simple. It’s that you obviously have a lot of things you didn’t tell me about. Things you couldn’t trust me with. I don’t think I ever really knew you.”
“You did,” she said. She wanted him to understand. She needed him to understand. “You knew the real me. Know the real me. The me that my parents wouldn’t recognize. The me I always wanted to be. That’s what I found here in Valley Ridge, not only a home, but a place where I could be the real me.”
When he didn’t respond, she added, “That’s what I found when I was with you—the real me.”
For a moment, she thought she’d made him understand, but she saw in his face that he didn’t. She steeled herself for him to say something hurtful, but in the end, he shook his head and stood. She followed suit and, for a moment, they stood face-to-face, not touching. Then he wrapped his arms around her. He leaned down and gently kissed her cheek.
Colton didn’t say the words, but she knew that kiss was his goodbye.
“I’m sorry.” He stepped back from the embrace.
Sophie realized that was it. The last time they’d ever touch. Part of her ached to step back into his arms, but the bigger part of her understood there was no going back. She took another step, putting more distance between them.
“I wish it could be different,” he said, “but I can’t...”
She knew what he was saying. He couldn’t be with a woman he didn’t trust. “I understand.”
“Can we be friends?” he asked. “Not now, but eventually?”
“I’d like to say yes, but no.” This was her fault, too. She’d left them nowhere to go. She should have trusted her instincts and not gotten involved with anyone. Ever. She should have learned fourteen years ago when she’d lost her daughter that there was no such thing as a happy ending.
Well, lesson learned now. What hurt the most was knowing that she’d hurt Colton in the process. She couldn’t go back and undo that, but she could make a clean break of it for his sake. “No, we can’t be friends. I’m sorry, Colton. We can be friendly. Given Finn and Mattie’s relationship, and the fact I think there’s something between Lily and Sebastian...” She paused a moment. “We’ll see each other. Valley Ridge is small enough that there’s no help for it. We’ll be friendly. We’ll smile and make small talk, but we can’t be friends. Not when I know what we should be, what we could have been, if I’d been...”
She let the sentence hang, not sure how to end it. What we could have been if I’d been honest was her first thought, but in reality, the real end to the sentence was what we could have been, if I’d been someone other than Sophia Moreau-Ellis.
Colton didn’t respond. He simply nodded and turned and walked down the hall. She followed as far as the kitchen doorway. She watched as he opened the front door and walked through it. He shut it behind him softly but firmly. The sound of the door latch clicking into place wasn’t loud, but to Sophie, it was defining, and something she’d remember for the rest of her life.
It would haunt her, along with the sound of her own screams as she’d begged them to allow her to at least hold her baby one time. Please, she’d begged over and over, crying hysterically.
She hadn’t begged Colton. And she wasn’t crying. She felt as if she wanted to. That maybe if she did, some of the almost unbearable pressure, which seemed to press on her from all sides, would ease. But she didn’t.
Couldn’t.
Colton was a simple man. An honest man. He was a man who believed in hard work, laughter and, most of all, love.
Sophie knew the truth of the situation. Colton would have accepted her past. He could have forgiven her anything...as long as she’d offered him the chance.
She’d never be able to make him understand that even now, talking about her childhood, about her pregnancy, was almost impossible.
God, she wanted to cry.
She wanted to blame her parents for ruining yet another relationship for her. She wanted to add one more black mark against them as parents.
But she knew she couldn’t blame this on them.
She’d done this on her own.
She’d had the perfect man and she’d let him go.
She put her palm to her cheek, on the spot where he’d kissed her.
That was it. The last time they’d ever touch, and the only thing that had ever come close to hurting as much as that moment they’d taken her daughter from her.
Yesterday, she’d touched her daughter for the first time ever when she’d run her finger across Tori’s cheek. Today she’d touched the love of her life for the last time.
The enormity of both moments would stay with her forever.
She wanted to crawl into bed and spend the day crying about Colton, but she couldn’t. She had Tori to think about.
Her baby girl.
All these years of worrying and wondering.
And Victoria Peace Allen was here in Valley Ridge.
Even though her parents would take her home this afternoon, Sophie had seen her. Touched her. She knew that Tori was loved and she’d been cared for.
Sophie knew her decision to let the Allens raise her daughter had been the right one.
In one hour she’d see Tori again.
The knowledge wasn’t enough to assuage her pain at losing Colton, but for now, Sophie pushed the hurt back. Compartmentalizing was something she was an expert at. Someday she’d pull out that last scene with Colton. She’d replay it and allow herself to feel it. But not today. Today Tori had to come first.
Sophie sat at the table in the kitchen, a cup of coffee in front of her, and watched the clock.
A half hour before she was supposed to meet the Allens, she got up and walked to the diner.
The Valley Ridge Diner looked as if it came out of a scene from Happy Days. Vintage Formica tables, a jukebox in the corner and Hank Bennington behind the counter, a coffeepot in hand. “How are you, sweetheart?” he asked as she walked past him.
Sophie knew that he wasn’t asking because of the canceled wedding. There was no sympathy or hidden question in his greeting. Hank had Alzheimer’s. It was in the early stages, and some days were better than others, but she suspected he’d forgotten about the ceremony, just as he’d forgotten her name again.
“I’m fine, Hank,” she said. “I’m going to take the back booth. I’m waiting for some visitors.”
“You help yourself to whatever seat you want, darling. I’ll bring you coffee.”
The diner was virtually empty. It was too late for most of its breakfast crowd, and too early for the lunch crowd. The only other customer was Marilee from the MarVee’s Quarters. It was odd to see her without her partner, Vivienne. They had a Penn & Teller sort of relationship; they were almost always together, and Marilee did most of the talking. Today she was talking to Connie Nies, who worked for Colton at the winery.
Both women looked up as she walked by. “Sophie, we’re so sorry,” Marilee said. “I’m not asking what happened, but if there’s anything you want us to pass on, we’d be happy to.”
Knowing that any news of note tended to filter through Marilee and Quarters, Sophie considered a moment, then nodded. “Two things would be helpful. You could let everyone know that Colton and I have decided to call off the wedding permanently. And you can let everyone know that it was my fault. I don’t want to go into details, but Colton deserves everyone’s sympathy.”
Marilee patted Sophie’s hand. “Sweetheart, I will definitely circulate that, but as much as I love Colton, everyone knows it takes two to make a relationship work...and two to make it fall apart.”
“Maybe in most cases, but not this time. This time, it’s all on me.” She turned to Connie. “You keep an eye on him when you’re working, okay? He’s so busy in the summer, he sometimes forgets to take care of himself.” She’d planned on being the one there to see to it that he did. She’d planned on making sure he ate a balanced diet, not simply coffee and sandwiches on the go.
Her plans had popped like a bubble yesterday. “Thanks,” she said, and fled to the back of the diner. She sat down at the back booth, and thought about all the things she’d planned that would never happen.
And no matter what Marilee said, she knew it was completely her fault.
Hank brought her back a cup of coffee as Gloria and Dom came in. “Let me get a couple more cups,” Hank said.
“I hope you don’t mind, but we asked Tori to give us a half hour before she arrived.”
“I don’t mind at all,” Sophie said. “It will give me a chance to assure you that I will do whatever you both want. If you prefer I not communicate with Tori, I understand. I—”
Hank came back with two more coffee cups. After he poured Dom’s and Gloria’s, he asked, “Are you all ready to order?”
“We’re waiting for one more person, Hank,” Sophie said. “So, in a half hour or so, after she’s arrived.”
“Great. I’ll check back with the coffee.”
“Thank you,” Gloria said to Hank, then turned to Sophie. “Tori let us know in no uncertain terms what she wants. We spent a great deal of the night discussing what to do.”
“You might not have noticed, but Tori is slightly strong willed,” Dom said with the right hint of sarcasm.
“That’s an understatement,” Gloria muttered, taking a sip of her coffee as if to fortify herself, then jumped in. “I called the police department this morning. And spoke to some officer named Dylan?”
Sophie nodded. “Yes. He’s a good guy.”
“And he assured me that you’re not a felon. In addition to that, he gave me a glowing report on you as a person. He swears you’re one of the good ones. He talked about how you stepped in and helped when some woman named Bridget passed away this last winter?”
“Bridget was my first friend here in Valley Ridge. I met her at the grocery store. Her daughter Abbey wanted cookies, and when Bridget said no, Abbey had a bit of a toddler temper tantrum. Bridget came over and said, ‘Talk to me, please? I need to ignore my daughter’s outburst, and if you would make a bit of a fuss about the other two kids and how well they’re behaving, she’ll come around.’
“So, I knelt down and talked to Zoe and Mickey, asked them about school and praised their good grades and, eventually, Abbey came over and told me that she’d colored a cow and could she give it to me? Later that night, they all walked over to present me with my cow picture—which by the way looked like two ovals with four sticks for feet—and I went for a walk with them. After that, well, Bridget was one of my best friends in town. When she got sick, her friend Mattie came home, and Lily, who’s a nurse, came to care for her, and the three of us became friends, too. It helped having someone to rely on when Bridget passed.”
“I’m sorry for your loss,” Dom said.
Sophie blinked back tears, knowing that if she started crying over Bridget, she’d start crying over Colton, over the fact that the life she’d planned and longed for was gone.
“Thank you,” she managed.
“Dylan said the three of you practically lived at Bridget’s while she was sick,” Dom said.
Sophie wasn’t sure if it was a question or a statement, so she simply replied, “She was my friend. And the kids needed all the support they could get.”
Gloria nodded, as if that explained everything. “If you cared that much about a friend and her children, I can’t imagine that you wouldn’t be as careful with my—our daughter.”
“Your daughter,” Sophie corrected. “I meant what I said last night. I get that Tori is your daughter. I gave birth to her, but she’s yours.”
“Listen,” Dom said, “my wife and daughter laugh that I’m a hippie. I tell them all the time that my parents were the hippies, and I was only a kid who went along for the ride. I grew up on a commune, and there was this woman I called Mama Rose. She ran the kitchen, and when the adults were out, she watched over all the little ones. I loved her. All the kids did. We all loved her, and I still send her a Mother’s Day card every year. But that never changed the fact I loved my own mother and father. I knew who my parents were, even though I loved Mama Rose. My aunt, who is not, nor ever was, a hippie, asked my mother how she could stand that I loved Mama Rose, and my mother laughed and said, ‘You can’t run out of love. There’s always enough to go around.’”
“I like that saying.” Sophie nodded, understanding what he was saying. She repeated, “You can’t run out of love.”
Dom nodded. “I like it, too. I want you to understand that we’re not worried Tori will forget we love her, or that she loves us.”
Sophie glanced at Gloria and her expression wasn’t quite as assured as Dom’s, but Sophie understood that. Sophie was Tori’s birth mom. She suspected having her in the picture was harder on Gloria than Dom. “I’m glad, because I might have given birth to her, but I never held her when she was sick, comforted her after a bad dream. I never hugged her after a hard day of school, or celebrated after a good one. I’d be happy to have a part in her life, but it can never be as her mom.”
Something in Gloria’s expression relaxed. “I’m glad you want to a part of her life because she’s demanding that she be allowed to spend time with you this summer and swears if we don’t, she’ll run away.” Gloria’s voice dropped. “Tori might have a way with anything mechanical, but I will have nightmares for the rest of my life about what could have happened when she stole the car and drove here. I can’t live through that again.”
“So, we’ve decided that if you’ll agree, we’ll let her spend some time with you this summer.” Dom reached over and took Gloria’s hand.
Gloria had on a pair of dress slacks, a turquoise blouse and well-matched jewelry. She looked sleek and put together. Dom wore an old Rolling Stones T-shirt, splattered with bits of blue paint, and Sophie wasn’t sure the last time a brush had touched his rumpled-looking hair. And yet, despite those differences, Gloria and Dom fit together. They were a united couple. And they were the kind of parents she wished she’d had—parents who put their children’s needs first.
And though she’d always believed she’d made the right decision for her daughter, she felt reassured yet again. These two people loved Tori enough to share her because Tori wanted, or maybe needed, it. “I can take her whenever you want, for however long you want.”
She felt a spurt of elation at the thought of spending time getting to know Tori. It mixed right in with her other chaotic and jumbled emotions.
“Don’t you have to work?” Gloria asked.
Sophie thought of Colton’s comment about her being rich, and for once her trust fund didn’t seem like a thing to feel guilty about, but rather a blessing that allowed her flexibility and freedom to do whatever Tori needed. “I can work around whatever you have in mind. It’s an advantage of being self-employed.”
“Then, what we’re proposing is we take Tori home for the week and she can pack, then we’ll come back next weekend. JoAnn at the bed-and-breakfast said she’d put rooms aside for us each weekend this summer. During the week, Tori will stay with you, and we’ll come down each weekend to spend time with her and get to know you better. If my daughter has her way—”
“And she always does,” Dom informed Sophie.
“—we’ll be seeing a lot of each other.”
“You’re going to let Tori stay with me?” In her wildest imagination, she’d never dreamed this particular scenario. “Really, you don’t know—”
“We talked to Dylan, and you can be sure, we’ll be talking to other people in town....” Gloria shook her head. “It’s not ideal. I’ll want Tori to call every night. But I don’t know what else to do. She’s very determined.”
“That was an understatement,” Dom agreed. “But the three of us will need to come to some agreement on a proper punishment. Stealing a car is serious. There has to be some sort of repercussion.”
Listening to a man who grew up on a commune talk about repercussions sounded strange.
Dom must have sensed her thought because he laughed. “Like I said, Mom and Dad are the hippies. I’m a father who loves his daughter enough to see to it she understands the gravity of what she’s done. And I understand her enough to realize that she won’t let go of the notion of getting to know you. It’s not that she wants to know about you and spend time with you—she needs to. Just like she needed to see how the television worked when she was five and took it apart. She tried for a week to figure out how it worked, then—”
“She put it back together,” Gloria finished, her pride evident. “She understands how things work. And not just electronics and cars, but computers. She can take them apart physically, and she can do pretty much anything with them in a programming basis. She simply gets it. And when she needs to understand things, she’s like a dog with a bone. She won’t let go until she does. Right now, she needs to know you, to understand you. And nothing Dom and I say will dissuade her.”
“I realize having her here will disrupt your summer,” Dom started.
“I would let anything and everything fall to the wayside in order to spend time with Tori,” Sophie told them. She was in awe of these two people, her daughter’s parents. Their putting Tori’s needs first contrasted her parents’ need to put image first.
“Then, we’re decided,” Dom said. “We’ll head home today and bring her back next Friday night, and stay the weekend. Then, that Monday, she’ll stay with you?”
Sophie suddenly remembered a saying about doors closing and windows opening. The sound of Colton closing that door this morning would haunt her dreams for the rest of her life, but having Tori come stay with her, getting to know the daughter she had lost—that was more than a window opening. It was as if a cyclone had blown the whole darned house to Oz. Everything was suddenly in Technicolor and anything was possible.
Sophie remembered she hadn’t answered. “Yes. I swear I’ll take good care of your daughter. And as for her punishment for stealing a car, I think I have an idea.”
* * *
THE REST OF THE DAY was a blur. Sophie made arrangements for Tori’s punishment, although in her mind, it was a wonderful way to spend a summer.
She decided that she could balance having Tori with her work. Tori would do her punishment time, but when she was off, she could come to the wineries when needed. Not that she would be needed for a few weeks. Sophie had taken two weeks off for her honeymoon, so she had unanticipated free time.
She went home and started to unpack her boxes, ignoring what she’d imagined she’d be doing with the contents when she’d packed them. She ignored the fact that she’d planned on putting her grandmother’s desk in the corner of Colton’s office. She ignored that she’d imagined the two of them sitting in the office in the evening, Colton working on the farm’s books and herself working on winery promotions.
That future was over now.
But there was a new future. One that included her daughter.
Doors closing...windows opening.
That was her new mantra.
Getting to know Tori was her window. Tori would be here on Friday. Sophie concentrated on that fact as she studied her guest room. She wanted to do it over for Tori.
A double bed, a small dresser and nothing else. She’d removed the minutia and packed it away.
She decided she wouldn’t put anything back in the guest room. She’d let Tori decorate the room. She could paint it, too, if she wanted.
Maybe blue to match her hair?
She smiled at the thought. Tori was unique. And she had parents who seemed to encourage that uniqueness.
Sophie wondered what it would have been like to have that kind of love and support.
Her doorbell rang as she started to slip into the past, wondering about what-ifs. She was thankful for the interruption, but she didn’t want to answer the door. She’d stay up here until whoever was there left.
“Sophie, we know you’re in there, and we’re not leaving until you let us in,” came Mattie Keith’s voice.
Sophie didn’t need to wonder who the other part of Mattie’s we was. She went down, opened the door and found Mattie with Lily.
“Listen, I’m not really up for company...” she started, but let the sentence fade on its own because as she looked at her friends, she knew they weren’t leaving until she let them in. “Fine, come on in.”
“I brought some wine,” Mattie said. “And Lily’s got the fixings for bruschetta. That was our girls’ night option. But in case we need something stronger than that, I brought...” She reached into her grocery bag and pulled out a pint of ice cream. “I bought one of every flavor they had.”
“I think we might need some of both,” Lily said.
Both women walked through the door without an invitation. They looked at the half-unpacked boxes. “Packing?” Mattie asked.
“Unpacking,” Sophie told her. She saw understanding register in both Lily’s and Mattie’s expressions. “The wedding’s off.”
“Temporarily?” Lily asked.
“I don’t think so,” Sophie admitted. She’d like to think she and Colton could find a way to fix things, but she remembered his expression before he turned and walked out of her house. There was a sense of finality in it. “No, I don’t think so.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Lily asked gently.
“No, of course she doesn’t want to talk about it,” Mattie said with an air of surety. “But she needs to talk about it, even if she doesn’t know it. First some wine, then some talk. Speaking of wine, there’s a chance I won’t be drinking much more of the stuff. Finn and I are talking about adding to the family.”
“You and Finn are that serious?” Lily asked as she put her grocery bag on Sophie’s counter.
“We’re talking about a quick marriage in August.” Mattie glanced at Sophie. “I wasn’t going to say anything, but Finn said you’d want to know. That you’d find out eventually anyway.”
“Are you kidding?” Doors and windows, Sophie thought as she hugged her friend. “Of course I want to know. And this calls for a celebration.”
She took the wine out of the bag and dug through her kitchen drawer. “I’ve got a bottle opener somewhere in here.”
Mattie’s hand covered Sophie’s. “I brought one. And while I open the bottle, tell us what happened. Who was that girl?”
Sophie sat at the table and let Mattie and Lily bring over the wine and bruschetta before she answered, “My daughter.”
“You have a daughter and never mentioned it?” Mattie asked, shocked.
Sophie tried to decide how to explain what it was like. How thinking about Tori, much less talking about her, hurt.
She’d known she’d have to tell her friends, but she hadn’t talked to them because she didn’t know what to say. Stalling, Sophie reached for a piece of the bruschetta, and as she brought it to her mouth, she caught the overwhelming scent of garlic. It wafted up her nose, and she felt a sudden wave of nausea. “Pardon me,” she managed as she bolted for the bathroom.
After she was done throwing up, she sank to the floor, covered in a cold sweat.
She never threw up.
The last time she’d been sick was when she was pregnant with Tori.
“Sophie, are you okay?” Mattie called through the bathroom door.
“Fine. I’m fine,” she said, thinking. Trying desperately to remember the last time she’d had a period. “I’ll be out in a minute.”
She sat on the tile floor and leaned against the cool tile wall. The last time she remembered having her period was when Abbey had been sick in the hospital. She’d been buying feminine products when she’d heard the news. It had been a weird period. Light. Really nothing more than splotching. She remembered thinking how odd it was, but hadn’t worried since her cycles had been irregular since she’d gone off her birth control at the beginning of the year.
When had Abbey been sick?
Sophie got up and splashed some cold water on her face, then brushed her teeth and walked out to the kitchen.
“Sophie, are you okay?” Mattie and Lily asked in unison.
She nodded. “Mattie, when was Abbey sick?”
“Why?”
“What was the date?” she repeated without answering why she wanted to know.
“April twenty-eighth. It was a Thursday and it was the scariest moment of my entire life.”
Sophie watched her friends exchange worried looks as she sank into the chair. Two months. She did the math in her head, and if it was true, then sometime at the end of January, beginning of February, she’d have a baby.
She’d have a baby with a man who’d left her.
Again.
She hugged her stomach.
This time, no one, nothing, would tear the baby from her. Colton might not want to marry her, but this baby had been conceived in love. She’d stopped taking birth control pills in January because they knew they wanted a family right after the wedding, and her doctor had suggested it might take some time for her system to regulate. They’d used other precautions but, obviously, they’d failed.
Then she thought about Tori.
If it was true, if she was pregnant, what would the news do to the daughter she’d just found? Or rather the daughter who had found her? A child who already thought Sophie had simply given her away without a second thought or regret.
One week ago, Sophie had been on the cusp of marrying the man of her dreams, starting a family with him and living happily ever after.
This week, the daughter she thought she’d lost forever had stolen a car, come to Valley Ridge and objected to her wedding. Her perfect man had decided she was too much trouble to marry. And for a second time, she might be going through a pregnancy on her own.
Sophie wasn’t sure if the situation was ironic, moronic or simply absurd, but a giggle escaped.
Then another.
Soon she was laughing, and tears were streaming down her face as she hugged her stomach and wondered if it was possible she was pregnant.
“Sophie, you’re scaring us,” Lily said. “Come on, hon. Talk to us. How is it you have a daughter, and why aren’t you and Colton getting married? What’s going on?”
“And, most important, what can we do to help?” Mattie said.
Sophie fought hard to get herself under control. “Do you know the saying about God closing a door, but opening a window? Let’s open that ice cream and I’ll tell you.”
And for the first time in her life, she allowed the story to spill out. She told her friends about her parents, who cared more about image and status than her. She told how her parents had chased off her boyfriend, and their ultimatum to cut her off without a dime, leaving her no way to support her baby. She told them that she’d acquiesced to her parents’ demands and gone to a home. She’d given birth in secret, like someone from a ’50s movie, and how she’d fought to give the baby to people who’d love her rather than the überrich couple her parents had chosen.
And even though she told her story to her friends, she didn’t tell them about her screams when the hospital staff took her baby away without allowing Sophie to see or hold her. But she saw in their faces that they knew that part.
She told about Tori finding her, about how wonderful Tori’s parents were. “And she’s coming to spend some time with me.”
“How long?” Lily asked.
“As long as she wants, at least until school starts. Her parents will come to spend the weekends.”
“And Colton?” Mattie asked.
Sophie shook her head. “I never told him about Tori. He sees that as a lie. I don’t know how to make him see that it wasn’t that I didn’t want to tell him, or that I didn’t trust him. I couldn’t tell him. For fourteen years, I’ve allowed myself one day a year to wallow in that old pain. Tori’s parents send a letter annually on her birthday through the agency. Pictures, too. That one day, I read their new letter, and I reread the old ones. I look at pictures of a daughter I never held, and I see pieces of myself in her. I write a letter to her, a letter I never send, but just add to the box. For that one day, I allow myself to mourn. If I had allowed myself any more than that, I don’t think I’d have survived. And if I’d told anyone, and had to have seen the pity in their eyes daily, I would have buckled under the pain.”
But suddenly that all changed. Tori was in her life again. She’d actually touched her daughter. She would get to know her.
She didn’t think she could stand merely sharing the story. She wanted to shout it from the rooftops. She had a daughter, and Tori was back in her life.
Sophie’s hand rested on her stomach as she laid it all out for her friends. Well, not all. She didn’t tell Mattie and Lily about her pregnancy suspicions, and they didn’t ask. She had to be sure before she said anything. And then she’d have to tell Colton.
For a moment, she envisioned Colton telling her that they had to marry for the baby’s sake. And part of her would long to say yes, because having Colton in her life was what she wanted. But she didn’t want him that way. She didn’t intend to be an obligation. He was a man who valued honor, and she didn’t want to be something his honor demanded he attend to.
No, if she was pregnant, even if he offered to marry her—which she was sure he would do—she’d have to say no. She’d have to be certain he understood that she’d never keep him from his child. She was positive they could work out something amicable.
Telling him should be the hardest thing she’d have to do if she was indeed pregnant, but telling Tori, explaining it to her, would be worse. Sophie would have to find a way to tell Tori and make her understand that she’d never wanted to give up custody of Tori, that she’d done what she’d thought was best.
She’d have to be sure Tori understood that she was loved.
Then Sophie would tell her friends. These might not be the perfect circumstances, but this time, she was going to celebrate her pregnancy. Starting with telling her friends. But not tonight. Not until she was sure, and had told Colton and Tori.
“What about Colton?” Mattie asked.
For a moment, Sophie was confused, thinking that Mattie knew about her newfound suspicions, but then she backtracked on the conversation and realized she didn’t. “Colton and I...we’re not getting married, but we’ll build a new relationship. A friendship.”
That’s what he’d said he wanted, and she’d said she couldn’t manage anything more than friendly. Well, that was no longer an option. If she was right, being friends with Colton was a necessity.
She’d do anything for this possible unborn child, even break her own heart by pretending to be only friends with Colton when she was still so in love with him she could hardly bear the weight of it.
CHAPTER FOUR
TUESDAY AFTERNOON, Colton was on his John Deere mowing the lawn, knowing he should be in the fields but wanting to stay near the house. Yesterday, he’d worked in the barn.
He told himself that even in the summer he needed to get things done around the house. And that was true, but things getting done around the house couldn’t take priority over things getting done on the farm and vineyard. He should be out today suckering the vines, or...
He spotted a car coming up the long driveway and for a moment, he thought it was Sophie. For that split second, he thought she’d come to make him listen. To convince him that he was wrong and breaking up was wrong.
It wouldn’t be the first time she’d read him the riot act and made him change his mind.
For that split second, he was relieved. Sophie was going to fix things. To make him understand why she’d held so much back.
Then he saw that it was Finn’s car. He could see there was someone in the passenger seat and they were sitting far too tall to be Sophie. He didn’t need to be able to make out the features to know it was Sebastian.
Most days he’d welcome his two friends’ company, but not today. He’d been avoiding them and dodging their calls. Hell, he’d been hiding out from everyone. He’d realized that he had no groceries in the house because he’d planned on being on his honeymoon. Rather than shopping in Valley Ridge, he’d driven across the state line into Pennsylvania to North East to restock the kitchen.
He didn’t want to see anyone.
Except for Sophie, a small part of him whispered.
But since his friends had obviously seen him on the lawn mower, he didn’t have a choice. He turned off the riding mower and walked down to the house, resigned. There was no way out of their attempts to help him.
“You two couldn’t take a hint?” he said by way of greeting. He removed his hat and wiped the sweat from his brow before reseating it.
“No, obviously we couldn’t,” Finn said.
Finn pointed to a case of beer, and Sebastian held up a bag as he said, “We brought our own refreshments, so you don’t have to worry about playing host.”
“As if I’d worry,” Colton scoffed.
His friends headed over to the picnic table at the side of the porch.
Colton sighed, and followed them. “I’m not ready to talk about it.”
Finn snorted. “Yeah, that’s a huge surprise. Colton not ready to talk. I’m shocked. How ’bout you, Seb?”
“Sebastian.” Their friend corrected his name automatically. “And yes, I’m shocked, too.”
Colton gave in to the inevitable and sat down. “So, if you didn’t come for the sordid details, why’re you here?”
“We came to hang out with a friend who, though he might not be ready talk, needs us,” Finn informed him. “Even if he doesn’t realize he needs us.”
“That’s what my family says when they leave messages on my machine. They tell me that I need them. They’re wrong and so are you.”
“They’re worried,” Finn said. “We might have talked to your mom and she might have encouraged us to come out.”
Sebastian looked serious as he said, “And we thought you should know that the entire town knows that blue-haired girl from the wedding is Sophie’s daughter.”
“How do they know?” Colton certainly hadn’t said anything to anyone.
“Sophie told Lily and Mattie and asked them to spread the word. Just telling MarVee and that was taken care of.”
“But why?” Sophie had never told him. She’d kept the fact that she’d had a child and given her up for adoption a secret from him, and now she wanted the entire town to know? He tried to tell himself that he felt hurt, but he knew it was a lie. He didn’t feel hurt—he felt angry. He felt like a fool. How could she not tell him about such a huge event in her life? And if she hadn’t told him about her daughter, what else hadn’t she told him? That was the question that haunted him. What else was Sophie hiding?
Finn opened up a bottle of beer and handed it to Colton, then another and handed it to Sebastian. “Tori’s coming to spend the summer with Sophie. The girl’s parents are going to be here on weekends, but she’ll spend the weekdays with Sophie.”
Colton drew a long sip of beer when what he really wanted to do was slam it back and reach for another. Unfortunately, he wasn’t a drinker, and definitely not a drink-in-anger-and-pain sort of drinker, so he sipped.
“Thanks for letting me know,” he managed.
“So, are you two rescheduling the wedding?” Finn asked.
Colton took off his hat again and wiped at his brow as a means of stalling. He put his hat back on and shook his head. “No. I don’t think so.”
“Oh,” both of his friends said in unison.
“Speaking of weddings,” Sebastian said as he elbowed Finn.
Finn looked guilty and Sebastian looked awkward. Something was up. “What?” Colton pressed when they both remained silent.
“We held off saying anything because we didn’t want to take the spotlight off you and Sophie, and now...” Finn’s sentence died and he looked extremely uncomfortable.
“What?” Colton repeated.
While Finn took a sip of his beer, Sebastian said, “Finn’s getting married in August and he feels uncomfortable telling you, given the circumstances.”
Colton knew his friend needed his support, so he smacked Finn on the back and forced a smile. “Congratulations. You and Mattie? It’s hard to believe you’re going to marry the kid who used to make us all crazy. Do you remember that time we were sleeping over at your house, and Mattie spent the night with Bridget?”
All three men groaned in unison.
Finn shook his head. “Mattie still has the pictures she and Bridget took of us, and swears that if I ever try and leave her, she’ll let them go public.”
“I still don’t know how the hell they got into the room and put makeup on the three of us without us waking up.” Sebastian shook his head, and then glared at Finn. “There’s nothing for it, you’re going to have to stick with her through thick and thin, if only to save our fragile male egos.”
As if realizing what he said, he turned to Colton. “Sorry.”
“No, don’t be.” Colton looked at Finn. “I’m happy for you both, and I’m sure Sophie is, as well.” He was happy for his friend, but he felt... Ah, hell. What he felt was a jumble of emotions. He was too simple a man to figure them out. “So, why August?”
“We want to go on a Disney World honeymoon with the kids before school starts. Frankly, I think Abbey’s more excited about Disney than about the wedding,” Finn told them. “You both will stand up for me? We’re thinking something simple at the house....”
Colton listened as Finn laid out his plans, but his thoughts were on Sophie and her daughter. Tori. That was her name. And she was coming to Valley Ridge for the summer?
What kind of parents let their kid spend a summer with a stranger, even if that stranger did give birth to their child?
Probably the same kind of parents that let their kid dye their hair blue.
And even as he had the thought, he felt guilty. His younger sister might not have dyed her hair blue, but she had gotten her belly button pierced. His parents had a farm in Fredonia, about forty-five minutes away, and he didn’t see them as much as he’d like, especially in the spring and summer. But they’d come up for a day a few weeks back. The whole family had gone down to the lake for an afternoon. Misty had on a bikini, so the piercing was right there for the world to see. He’d been shocked, and when he said something, his mom and sister both laughed. “A woman’s only got a few good stomach years,” his mother had said. “Your pregnancy ruined mine and any hopes I ever had of a belly button ring. I said yes, because I thought Misty should capitalize on the fact that she can still wear one.”
“Plus,” his little sister had said, “I didn’t get a tattoo or pierce something highly visible. When I’m tired of it, I’ll take it out.” She’d leaned forward and kissed him. “You really are a stick-in-the-mud, you know that?”
Maybe he was a stick-in-the-mud. Maybe it was too much to ask that someone you’re vowing to spend the rest of your life with tell you the truth. He knew it was impossible for anyone to know absolutely everything about someone, but seriously, how hard could it be to say, My parents aren’t dead, and oh, by the way, I had a baby I gave away?
He forced himself to keep his mind on his friends’ conversation. Thankfully they didn’t expect much from him in terms of participating. That was a good thing about having a reputation as being quiet—no one expected too much conversational help from him.
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