The Son that Changed his Life
Jennifer Taylor
So unexpected…and so precious… When GP Benedict Legrange’s struggle with cancer reaffirmed that nothing was permanent, he felt he had no choice but to leave pregnant Emily Jackson: how could Ben offer security as a partner and father when his own fragile life was hanging in the balance?But returning to Bride’s Bay, and meeting Emily again and his adorable little son for the very first time, makes Ben realise how much he has to live for…Bride’s Bay Surgery Juggling medicine with motherhood leaves little time for romance. But for three single mums Bride’s Bay has a magic that lives up to its name.
‘Theo, this is Ben. Come and say hello, darling.’
Emily urged the little boy to his feet, holding his hand as she led him across the room. Ben crouched down, guessing it would be less intimidating for Theo if they were on eye level.
‘Hello, Theo. It’s nice to meet you,’ he said softly. He held out the package he’d brought. ‘This is for you.’
Theo stared at the parcel for a moment, then slowly reached out and took it from him. Kneeling down, he stripped off the paper, exclaiming in delight when he saw the bright red car that Ben had bought for him. Within moments he had the box open and was busily running it across the floor.
Emily laughed. ‘You couldn’t have bought him anything better. He adores cars.’
‘Good. I’ll make a note of that,’ Ben said lightly, trying not to let her see how moved he was by his first proper encounter with his son.
‘I’ll carry on getting the supper,’ Emily told him gently, and he could tell that she understood how he felt. He sighed. Nobody had ever been able to read him as well as Emily could.
It was something Ben knew he needed to bear in mind. He couldn’t afford to do anything that might upset her. He had to concentrate on being a good father to Theo because that was all Emily wanted him to be: her son’s father, not her lover. Would he be able to handle the change in their relationship? he wondered. In the past three years he had convinced himself that he was over her, that any feelings he’d had for her were dead. It had been easier that way, less painful. However, as he watched her leave the room, he felt his heart lurch.
Dear Reader,
I realised when I was planning this series that I was going to give Ben and Emily a really hard time, but I was confident that they were strong enough to overcome even the biggest obstacle a couple can face.
Discovering that Ben had cancer when he was younger comes as a huge shock to Emily. For the past three years she has tried to come to terms with the way he treated her, and now she has to revise her opinion of him. She realises that she still loves him and is thrilled when Ben admits that he loves her too, but having cancer has made Ben afraid to make a commitment. Although he longs to be with Emily and their son, he refuses to take the risk of hurting them.
Helping Ben and Emily overcome their fears and find a happy ending was a joy. Although their lives have been affected by cancer, it isn’t a dark or depressing story—far from it. Their love for one another shines through and you just know that no matter what the future holds, they will face it together. I just hope you enjoy reading their story as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Best wishes,
Jennifer
About the Author
JENNIFER TAYLOR lives in the north-west of England, in a small village surrounded by some really beautiful countryside. She has written for several different Mills & Boon
series in the past, but it wasn’t until she read her first Medical Romance™ that she truly found her niche. She was so captivated by these heartwarming stories that she set out to write them herself! When she’s not writing, or doing research for her latest book, Jennifer’s hobbies include reading, gardening, travel, and chatting to friends both on and off-line. She is always delighted to hear from readers, so do visit her website at www.jennifer-taylor.com
Recent titles by the same author:
THE FAMILY WHO MADE HIM WHOLE† (#ulink_4d0c8054-8e38-5589-8fce-af8254e77fcf) GINA’S LITTLE SECRET SMALL TOWN MARRIAGE MIRACLE THE MIDWIFE’S CHRISTMAS MIRACLE THE DOCTOR’S BABY BOMBSHELL* (#ulink_4d0c8054-8e38-5589-8fce-af8254e77fcf) THE GP’S MEANT-TO-BE BRIDE* (#ulink_4d0c8054-8e38-5589-8fce-af8254e77fcf) MARRYING THE RUNAWAY BRIDE* (#ulink_4d0c8054-8e38-5589-8fce-af8254e77fcf) THE SURGEON’S FATHERHOOD SURPRISE** (#ulink_4d0c8054-8e38-5589-8fce-af8254e77fcf)
† (#ulink_4471e557-f644-5d8c-87e9-8fce36a313a0)Bride’s Bay Surgery* (#ulink_4471e557-f644-5d8c-87e9-8fce36a313a0)Dalverston Weddings** (#ulink_4471e557-f644-5d8c-87e9-8fce36a313a0)Brides of Penhally Bay
These books are also available in eBook format from www.millsandboon.co.uk
The Son
that Changed
his Life
Jennifer Taylor
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
CHAPTER ONE
HE HAD driven all night, wanting to avoid the worst of the bank holiday traffic. Now as he pulled up at the side of the road to watch the sun rise over the headland, Benedict Legrange could feel his doubts surfacing again. What did he hope to achieve by coming here? He knew the truth better than anyone did, so why waste his time? He wasn’t the child’s father. He couldn’t be. The drugs he’d been given may have saved his life but they had left him infertile. He could never father a child and he hadn’t fathered Emily’s child, despite her claims to the contrary. So why put himself through all the heartache of seeing her again?
Ben sighed as he rested his head against the seat and closed his eyes. It was one thing to know he was behaving foolishly but something entirely different to stop himself doing so. Ever since his good friend Tom Bradbury had mentioned Emily, he had felt all churned up inside. It was almost three years since they’d had that brief affair, yet the memory of what had happened was as sharp as ever. Emily had touched him in ways no woman had ever done, affected him more deeply than he had believed possible. That was why he’d been so angry when she had told him she was expecting his child. He had known it was a lie and it had hurt—a lot!—to realise that she would try to deceive him.
A ray of golden light touched his lids and Ben opened his eyes. He breathed in deeply as he watched the sun climb above the headland. Bride’s Bay in the summer was a beautiful place to be and he was determined to enjoy his visit. He was looking forward to seeing Tom again and to meeting Hannah and her son, Charlie. He smiled. Hannah had to be really special if she’d managed to make commitment-phobic Tom turn into a family man! Obviously the love of the right woman could have far-reaching consequences.
His smile faded abruptly. That wasn’t something he had ever experienced. Emily hadn’t loved him as her subsequent actions had proved. He had been merely a convenience, the man she’d hoped to con into accepting responsibility for the child she was carrying. It might have worked too if the circumstances had been different. He wouldn’t have questioned her claims that he was the father if he hadn’t known it was impossible. What had the consultant told him after he’d had that fertility test following his treatment, that the odds on him fathering a child were several billion to one? It had been a bitter blow. He loved children and he would have loved a child of his own so very much…
He shut off the thought because it was pointless going down that route. Whoever the child’s father was, it wasn’t him!
‘Theo, no! Put that down right now… Oh!’
Emily Jackson made a grab for the carton of orange juice but she was a shade too slow. It landed on the kitchen floor, sending a wave of juice flowing across the tiles. Theo looked up at her with solemn dark brown eyes.
‘Fall, Mummy.’
‘So I can see, you little rip.’ Emily grabbed a wad of kitchen roll and wiped up the juice. ‘I know you were trying to help, darling, but you must wait for Mummy to pour your juice next time. Okay?’
‘Okay.’
Theo smiled beatifically at her as he started to eat his cereal, and Emily didn’t have the heart to berate him any further. After all what was a drop of spilled juice in the great scheme of things, she thought as she tossed the sodden paper into the bin. So long as Theo was happy and healthy she wasn’t going to make an issue of it.
She helped him finish his breakfast then took him upstairs to clean his teeth, ever conscious of the minutes ticking away. Mornings were always hectic and today she needed to be at the surgery early as she had two patients booked in for fasting cholesterol tests. As soon as Theo had finished, she hurried him out to the car, quickly strapping him into his seat before fetching his lunch bag from the kitchen. Fortunately the good weather had held and there was no need to worry about coats, which saved another precious few seconds. It was just gone seven-thirty when she backed off the path of the tiny cottage she rented on the outskirts of the town and she breathed a sigh of relief. She’d be well in time for her first appointment after she’d dropped Theo off at the nursery.
She headed into Bride’s Bay, taking the road that skirted the headland as it was the quickest route. There were already a number of cars about, no doubt tourists intent on making the most of the bank holiday weekend. She slowed down to let a top-of-the-range four-by-four turn into a narrow track leading to the cove. From the look of its paintwork the vehicle had never been off-road before and she smiled to herself as she pictured the state of the track’s rutted surface. It wouldn’t look quite so pristine after it had driven down there!
Emily rounded the bend then had to slow once again when she encountered a car parked on the grass verge. There were a couple of vehicles coming the other way so she waited for them to pass. She pulled out to overtake, automatically glancing at the car as she drew alongside. The driver had the window down and she had a clear view of him, so clear that for a moment she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Just for a second her brain seized up, the thoughts all jammed up like logs in a river: Ben. Here. Sitting in that car.
Her foot pressed down way too hard on the accelerator and she roared past, and the sound of the engine broke the spell. Emily bit her lip to stem the cry that threatened to emerge. She didn’t want to frighten Theo but she could feel it building inside her until it felt her head was ringing with it. What did Ben want? Why had he come here? Did it have anything to do with Theo and if it did, how did she feel about that?
She took a deep breath, forcing the panic to subside to a level she could deal with. She had no idea what the answers were to any of those questions but she intended to find out.
‘Have you got a minute, Tom?’
Emily summoned a smile as she popped her head round the consulting room door, but the tension that had been building inside her all morning was making her feel sick. It had been too busy to find out what Ben was doing in Bride’s Bay before now and the uncertainty had been very hard to deal with. She knew that she wouldn’t rest until she’d found out some answers.
‘Of course. I just need to type up these notes and I’ll be right with you.’
Tom Bradbury gave her a quick smile before he returned his attention to the computer screen and Emily did her best to curb her impatience. She went over to the window, concentrating on the view across the bay in the hope that it would calm her, but it didn’t work. What did Ben want? Why had he come to Bride’s Bay when it was the last place she would have expected to see him? He had made his position perfectly clear when she’d been to Paris to see him, so clear that she’d been left under no illusion that he didn’t want anything more to do with her. So why had he come here when he must have known their paths would cross?
‘Right, all done.’ Tom spun his chair round and grinned at her. ‘It’s been mad this morning, hasn’t it? I had hoped that folk would have better things to do than worry about their ailments with the bank holiday coming up, but no such luck.’
‘It doesn’t work that way,’ Emily told him, knowing that she couldn’t just leap in and start demanding answers. She had to lead up to the subject, make it appear that it was of little consequence otherwise Tom would suspect something was wrong. That was the last thing she wanted. She’d told no one who Theo’s father was, neither her family nor her friends knew he was Ben’s son. She wasn’t sure why she had kept it a secret but she’d felt it was better if nobody knew the truth. And there was no reason why she should change her mind at this point… was there?
She took a quick breath as yet another question tagged itself onto all the others and hurried on. ‘With us being closed this afternoon as well as Bank Holiday Monday, a lot of people will have decided to make an appointment just in case.’
‘You mean in case their cold turns to flu or their tickly cough to pneumonia?’ Tom laughed. ‘I never thought of that. Obviously, I’ve got a lot to learn about being a GP.’
‘You seem to be coping well enough,’ Emily assured him and he grinned.
‘Thank you. I shall take that as a compliment. Anyway, what was it you wanted to see me about?’ He looked enquiringly at her and Emily’s mouth went dry. All of a sudden she couldn’t remember a word of her carefully rehearsed speech.
‘I… erm… um.’
‘Tom, darling, have you finished yet?’
She looked round when her friend Hannah Morris, another GP at the practice, came into the room, feeling a pang of something very much like envy strike her when she saw Tom’s face light up. There was no doubt at all how he felt about Hannah or she about him and Emily couldn’t help envying their closeness. It must be wonderful to have someone you could share your innermost feelings with… the way she’d once thought she could share hers with Ben.
‘Yep. I just need to take these notes through to the office and that’s it.’ Tom stood up. ‘I’m glad that Simon decided to cancel evening surgery. It’s such a glorious day that I have to confess I don’t feel like working.’
‘It’s a good job we aren’t working,’ Hannah stated, smiling up at him. ‘Ben just phoned. Apparently, he’s already here.’
‘But I thought he wasn’t arriving until this evening!’ Tom exclaimed, mercifully missing Emily’s gasp. Any hopes she may have harboured about being mistaken had just been shot right out of the sky. It definitely had been Ben in that car and now she needed to find out what he wanted.
‘Me too, but it seems he decided to get an early start and drove through the night.’ Hannah shrugged. ‘He sounded a bit uptight, to be honest. I think he needs this break more than he’s letting on.’
Emily frowned as she listened to the conversation. So Ben had come to Bride’s Bay for a holiday? Was it true or was it an excuse? She had no way of knowing and it was another uncertainty to add to the ever expanding list.
‘I thought that when I spoke to him the other day. He seemed rather… well, on edge, is the best way to describe it.’ Tom suddenly turned and Emily hurriedly smoothed her face into what she hoped was a suitably noncommittal expression.
‘You remember Ben Legrange, don’t you, Emily? He stayed with Simon and Ros a couple of years ago while he was recuperating from some bug he’d picked up while working for Médecins Sans Frontières. I’m sure you were here at the time.’
‘Yes, I was.’ Emily summoned a smile, praying that her friends couldn’t hear the strain in her voice. ‘It was a few months after I’d returned to Bride’s Bay to take up this job, in fact.’
‘Of course.’ Tom smiled at her. ‘Hannah and I have invited him to stay for the weekend. He’s been in London sorting out some problems with the funding for the clinic he’s set up and we thought it would be nice if he had a couple of days on the coast before he returns to Paris.’
‘There’s nothing like a bit of sea air to recharge the batteries,’ Emily agreed as calmly as she could. So that was the explanation. Ben was here for a break; it had nothing to do with her and Theo. The thought should have reassured her but it didn’t. It was painful to know that she and Theo didn’t figure in his life.
‘Very true. And I have a feeling that Ben needs his batteries recharging more than most.’ Tom sighed. ‘He’s been working flat out since his father died, setting up the clinic. I think he sees it as his duty to carry out his father’s wishes no matter what the cost to him personally.’
‘Which is why this break is all the more important,’ Hannah said soothingly. She placed her hand on his arm. ‘We’ll make sure Ben enjoys himself, darling. A few days R & R and he’ll be right as rain.’
‘Of course he will.’ Tom dropped a kiss on her nose then turned to Emily. ‘How do you fancy helping us make Ben’s visit that bit more special? We’re planning a barbecue tomorrow night if the weather holds, so how about you and Theo coming along? I’m sure Ben would love to see you again and meet Theo, of course.’
Emily shook her head, feeling sick at the thought of her turning up with Theo in tow. If Ben hadn’t wanted to acknowledge his son in private then he certainly wouldn’t wish to do so in front of his friends. ‘I’m afraid I have something planned tomorrow. Sorry.’
‘Shame. If I’m not mistaken you two got on really well, didn’t you?’ Tom glanced at Hannah. ‘Now that I think about it, I remember Ros saying that Emily and Ben seemed to have a real connection.’ He laughed. ‘I rather think Ros hoped it would turn into something more!’
Emily dredged up a smile when Hannah laughed but it was all she could do not to let her friends see how much it hurt to hear that. She, too, had thought she and Ben had connected on a deeper level but she’d been wrong. All of a sudden she couldn’t take any more and swung round, wanting to get away before she said something stupid. Nobody must know about her affair with Ben. Nobody must know that he was Theo’s father either. It would only complicate matters and, worse still, start people talking. The last thing she needed was Theo overhearing some chance remark and getting upset.
‘Emily, hold on.’
She stopped reluctantly when Tom called her back. ‘Yes?’
‘What did you want me for? You never said.’
‘Oh. Do you know I’ve completely forgotten.’ She gave a short laugh, doing her best to pretend that everything was fine even though it was far from being that. ‘It can’t have been anything important, can it?’
‘Well, if you do remember then give me a call.’ Tom put his arm round Hannah’s shoulders and ushered her towards the door. ‘Now we had better go and make Ben welcome. I think an afternoon lazing in the garden is called for, don’t you?’
‘Sounds like heaven,’ Hannah assured him. She paused to glance back and Emily could see the gleam in her eyes. ‘If you do change your mind about tomorrow night then you’ll be very welcome, Emily. I’m sure Ben would love to see you.’
‘Er… thank you, but as I said I’ve made other plans.’
Emily managed to hold her smile until they disappeared. She sighed. Tom and Hannah meant well but they had no idea of the problems they were creating by trying to push her and Ben together. Ben wasn’t interested in her; he never had been. She’d been merely a convenience, someone to sleep with and discard once she’d outlived her usefulness. Although neither of them had allowed for the fact that she might get pregnant, it hadn’t made any difference to Ben’s plans.
She took a deep breath and made herself face the truth as she had faced it many times in the past few years. Ben had never wanted her. And he didn’t want their son either.
CHAPTER TWO
‘I HOPE it’s all right. I’m afraid the room is rather small but the bed should be comfortable enough.’
‘It’s lovely. Thank you.’
Ben dredged up a smile, doing his best to behave like the perfect guest as he looked around the tiny attic room, but it was an effort. Had Emily recognised him this morning? He thought she had but in that case why hadn’t she stopped? Why had she driven past without making any attempt to acknowledge him? Did she hate him so much that she couldn’t even bear to speak to him?
The thought was more upsetting than it should have been, bearing in mind the way she had tried to trick him. Ben thrust it to the back of his mind as he turned to his hosts. Tom and Hannah had welcomed him with open arms and he should be content with that instead of wasting his time thinking about Emily. ‘I’m sure I shall be very comfortable. I just can’t help feeling guilty about putting you to so much trouble, though.’
‘It’s no trouble,’ Hannah assured him and laughed. ‘To be honest you’ve done me a favour. I’ve been nagging Tom to clear out the attic for ages but he only got round to doing it when he knew you were coming to stay!’
Ben laughed. ‘It’s good to know that I’m useful for something.’
‘Oh, you are!’ Tom clapped him on the shoulder. ‘If it weren’t for your visit then I doubt if Simon would have agreed to cancel evening surgery. The surveyors are coming this afternoon to start on the plans for the new health centre and he insisted that we’d be able to work round them. It was only when we mentioned that you were coming to stay that he had second thoughts.’ Tom grinned as he swung little Charlie into his arms. ‘It’s thanks to you that we have the rest of the day off, my friend, and we’re truly grateful. Now we shall leave you to settle in. We’ll be in the garden so come and find us when you’re ready.’
Ben tossed his bag onto the bed after his friends left. Walking over to the window, he stared across the rooftops towards the bay. There were a number of boats tied up in the harbour, mostly fishing vessels although there were several pleasure craft too. The scene was so familiar that for a moment he was transported back to when he had first visited Bride’s Bay. He had been too ill at first to appreciate the beauty of the small Devonshire coastal town; however, as his health had improved, he’d found himself increasingly drawn to the area. There was a raw beauty about the ever-changing vista of sea and sky that had touched something inside him… just as Emily had touched him.
Ben’s mouth compressed. Whatever he’d thought he and Emily had had was an illusion. She’d had her own reasons for being with him and they’d had nothing to do with love. His blood ran cold even now at the thought of how he might have been duped. If he hadn’t known he was infertile, he would have accepted the child as his own, brought him up, loved and cared for him, and unwittingly perpetuated her lie. Maybe she’d been desperate; he didn’t know. But he could never forgive her for what she had tried to do. After all, it wasn’t only him who would have lived her lie but her son, too. The boy would have grown up believing that Ben was his real father and that seemed like the worst kind of deception, to deny the child his true heritage.
Anger roared through him and he turned away from the view with a muffled curse. Leaving his bag on the bed he made his way downstairs. He would unpack later but right now he needed a distraction, pleasant company to take his mind off less pleasant matters. He went out into the garden, pushing thoughts of Emily and her deceitfulness from his mind. He wasn’t going to waste the weekend by going over old ground. Maybe he had been a fool to come here but he wouldn’t allow what had happened to rule his life. Tom was his closest friend and he didn’t intend to let their friendship lapse. Maybe Emily did hate him, but so what? He couldn’t have accepted the child as his own when he knew the truth.
Emily tiptoed out of the bedroom. It was just gone seven p.m. and for once Theo had fallen asleep without the usual tussle. Normally it took a while to settle him but he’d been worn out after an afternoon playing on the beach. Now the evening stretched before her and she sighed. It was this time when she felt most alone. It was fine during the day; she was too busy working or looking after Theo to think about anything else. But once Theo was in bed, she was very aware of being on her own. How wonderful it would be if there was someone to share these hours.
Unbidden, a face sprang to mind and her mouth thinned. There had never been any question of Ben sharing her life, as he had made clear. Although she may have viewed their affair as the start of something, Ben hadn’t seen it that way. One mention of a baby and he had run for the hills and she, for one, wasn’t going to try and change his mind. Benedict Legrange had had his chance to be a father and he wasn’t going to get a second one!
The sound of the phone ringing cut through her thoughts. Emily ran downstairs and snatched up the receiver before it could wake Theo. ‘Emily Jackson.’
‘Emily, it’s Tom. I’m sorry to bother you but search and rescue have just phoned. Mitch Johnson at The Ship has reported a couple of his guests are missing. Apparently, they told Mitch they were going for a walk along the coastal path this morning and would be back around three but they haven’t appeared. Search and rescue are sending a team out to look for them.’
‘What do you want me to do?’ Emily asked immediately.
‘We were wondering if we could use your house as our base. There’s no reception for mobile phones once you’re on the path and we may need access to a phone,’ Tom explained.
‘Of course. I’m happy to help any way I can.’
They sorted out the arrangements before she hung up. Emily hurried into the kitchen and filled the kettle. Although it was a warm night, she knew the men would welcome a cup of tea before they set off. The vehicles arrived ten minutes later, two four-by-fours carrying both the team and their equipment. Emily went outside to meet them, standing aside while Tom climbed out of the back of the lead vehicle.
‘I see you got drafted in to help,’ she said, smiling at him.
‘We both did.’ Tom stepped aside and she felt her stomach lurch when she saw the man who had got out of the car behind him. ‘You remember Ben, don’t you? He offered to come along and help.’
‘I… erm… yes, of course,’ she replied numbly.
‘Emily.’
Ben nodded politely although she was aware that he didn’t claim that it was good to see her. Why should he, she thought bitterly as she went back inside to make the tea. She must be the last person Ben wanted to see… Correction: she and Theo must be the last people he wanted to see, so why should he pretend anything different? Ben had made it abundantly clear that he wasn’t interested in sparing her feelings the last time they’d met!
The thought was just what she needed to get back on track. Emily made the tea and loaded the mugs onto a tray. The men were working out a route when she took the drinks outside and they let out a resounding cheer when they saw what she had brought for them. Alan Parker, the leader of the team, put his arm round her shoulders and gave her a squeeze.
‘Atta girl! If I wasn’t happily married then I’d propose to you. There’s nothing like a woman who knows how to treat a man right!’
Emily laughed as she put the tray on the bonnet of the Land Rover. ‘Good job I didn’t fetch out the cake as well or who knows what could have happened.’
Everyone laughed, everyone apart from Ben, that was. Emily felt a shiver run through her when she saw the contemptuous look he gave her. His dark brown eyes were filled with scorn, his beautiful mouth curling at the corners with disdain. She didn’t need to ask him what was wrong when it was perfectly clear. Ben thought that she was deliberately currying favour with the men, trying to charm them for some reasons of her own. The thought was like a red rag to the proverbial bull. She didn’t pause to think as she rounded on him.
‘Obviously, you’re not susceptible to my offer of tea and cake, Dr Legrange?’
‘No.’ He gave a very Gallic shrug. ‘I am not easily influenced, Miss Jackson.’
‘Really?’ Emily could hear the challenge in her voice although she knew that she should let the matter drop. However, she’d spent best part of the day worrying about Ben and she was in no mood to compromise. ‘That does surprise me.’
‘Oui? Why is that?’ His tone had deepened, sounding richer, darker and ever so slightly threatening, and Emily felt a little thrill run through her because she had managed to get under his skin.
‘Oh, just that I find most men are susceptible to a woman’s wiles—if she knows what she’s doing, of course.’
She smiled sweetly when everyone laughed. It was obvious that the others thought she was teasing but she and Ben knew the truth. Ben might not have wanted her in his life, long term, but for a short time at least he’d wanted her. He’d wanted her in his bed, in his arms, and wanted her with a raw, unbridled passion too. He could deny it all he liked but they both knew the truth: when they’d made love, Ben had never thought about anyone else but her.
Ben made his way from the group. Tom was talking to Alan Parker, working out the best route to take, and didn’t notice him leaving. Although he knew that he should offer whatever help he could, it was beyond him at that moment. All he could think about was Emily lying in his arms, her face flushed with passion, her body naked to his gaze. Her eyes were half closed, her lips parted, her light brown hair tumbling around her face….
‘Merde!’ The oath tore from his lips before he could stop it and his hands clenched. He wasn’t used to losing control but that was how he felt—raw and aching and out of control. It would take very little to give in to the anger that was simmering inside him and that was the last thing he could afford to do.
He wouldn’t allow her to get under his skin, wouldn’t let her hurt him any more than she had done already. She was a liar and a cheat. She had tried to dupe him into accepting her child as his own. She’d probably slept with him, in fact, for that very purpose. The thought should have been enough to stop him feeling anything but contempt for her yet it didn’t. Even now, even knowing what she was capable of, he still wanted her!
‘Right, we’re all sorted. You and I are going to check out one of the side paths.’
Tom came over to him and Ben hurriedly smoothed his features into something resembling a normal expression. ‘Bon. Do we need to take anything with us—ropes, medical equipment, things like that?’
‘Everything we need’s in here.’ Tom showed him one of the backpacks the team carried. ‘It’s just basics—torch, whistle, saline, dressings, etcetera. If we do come across the missing couple then we’ll contact the rest of the party and go from there.’
He held up a shortwave radio receiver and Ben nodded. ‘You said that our phones won’t work in this area.’
‘No. Reception is patchy throughout this part of Devon. There are plans to build a new transmitter but who knows when it will happen? We’ll have to rely on the radio or come back here to Emily’s if that’s a viable alternative,’ Tom explained. ‘It’s lucky she lives here, isn’t it?’
‘Hmm.’ Ben smiled but he could feel his insides churning again as he glanced towards the cottage. Emily was collecting up the dirty mugs. She bent down to pick up one that had been left on the ground and he felt his breath catch when he was treated to a glimpse of her shapely derrière clad in well-washed denim. He turned away, not wanting to test out his new-found determination to ignore her.
‘There isn’t a problem with you and Emily, is there?’ Tom swung the backpack over his shoulder as he led the way to the footpath.
‘A problem?’ Ben reiterated to give himself time to think. Although Tom was his closest friend, he had never confided in him about what had gone on and had no intention of doing so. Quite frankly, he wouldn’t want anyone to know what a fool he’d been.
‘Hmm. I couldn’t help noticing a certain vibe between you two just now.’ Tom glanced at him as he cleared the stile. ‘Tell me to mind my own business, but did something happen between you and Emily when you stayed here the last time?’
‘Nothing of any importance,’ Ben said lightly. He glanced along the path. ‘Is it straight ahead or do we need to turn off?’
‘Straight ahead.’
Tom took the hint and didn’t say anything else. However, it was worrying to know that his friend had picked up on the atmosphere between him and Emily. As they made their way along the path, Ben promised himself that it would be the first and the last time he made that mistake. From now on he would treat Emily as she deserved to be treated, as someone who didn’t feature in his life.
It was just gone ten when the sound of footsteps outside woke Emily. She sat up, groaning when she felt the crick in her neck. Falling asleep on the sofa definitely wasn’t a good idea but she’d been loath to go to bed in case she was needed. Now she hurried to the door and flung it open, gasping when she saw Ben helping a middle-aged woman up the path.
‘This is Louise. Can she wait here until the rest of the group catches up with us?’ he asked briefly.
‘Of course!’ Emily hurried forward and put her arm around the woman’s waist. She flinched when her hand encountered Ben’s but there was no way she could remove it when the poor woman needed her support. They helped her inside and got her settled on the sofa. Ben stepped back as soon as Louise was comfortable, his face impassive, but Emily could tell from the tightening of his jaw that he’d enjoyed the contact no more than she had done.
The thought was strangely upsetting. Emily turned away, reluctant to let him see how she felt. ‘I’ll fetch a blanket. She feels cold despite the fact it’s warm outside.’
‘Shock,’ Ben replied succinctly, crouching down in front of the woman. He gently chafed her hands. ‘Her husband fell down the bank of a stream and injured his leg. She was unable to get him out.’
‘How is he?’ Emily asked, sotto voce, and he shook his head.
‘Not too good.’
Emily didn’t ask anything else, not wanting to add to the poor woman’s distress. Ben asked if he could use the phone to call search and rescue headquarters so she showed him where it was then ran upstairs to fetch a blanket. He was still on the phone when she went back down so she took the blanket through to the sitting room and draped it over Louise then smiled at her. ‘I’m going to make you a cup of tea. It will help to warm you up.’
Louise didn’t respond. Her face was completely blank as she stared straight ahead. Emily frowned as she headed to the kitchen. Ben had finished his call and she beckoned him over, waiting until they were out of earshot before speaking. ‘Has she said anything to you?’
‘No. She’s not said a word since we found her.’ He sighed as he rested his lean frame against the worktop. ‘It was sheer luck that we came across them. Tom just happened to glance down the banking and spotted Louise’s red jumper. She was just sitting there, not shouting or anything, just cradling her husband’s head in her lap.’
‘The poor soul!’ Emily exclaimed. ‘She must have been terrified.’
‘Oui. To see the one you love in trouble and not be able to help them…!’
Once again he gave that very Gallic shrug and Emily looked away. It was one of the things she remembered most, the way he punctuated his conversation with various gestures. Although Ben’s English was faultless thanks to his having an English mother, his French heritage from his father was still very apparent and had always been a huge part of his charm. That along with so many other things, of course.
She closed her mind to that stupid thought as she made the tea. She filled a mug, adding both milk and sugar. Ben smiled faintly as he watched her.
‘Ah, the British answer to all life’s ills—hot sweet tea.’
‘It’s very reviving,’ she countered.
‘Oh, it is. I learned that for myself when I first came here. Ros would make me a cup of tea and all of a sudden everything seemed that bit brighter.’
‘Sadly it can’t cure everything. There are some problems that can’t be solved by a cup of tea.’ She hadn’t meant to say that, certainly hadn’t intended to allude to their problem, his refusal to acknowledge their child, and bit her lip. Ben’s expression darkened as he stared at her with undisguised contempt.
‘Some problems are too huge to be resolved. It needs trust and honesty to sort out important issues. When they are absent, there is never a way forward.’
He went back to the sitting room, leaving her to stew that over. Emily ground her teeth, hating the fact that he had the gall to make out that she was lacking in honesty. Picking up the mug, she hurried after him, hating him with every fibre of her being. Ben had been so afraid of facing up to his responsibilities that he had chosen to deny his own child. There couldn’t be anything more dishonest than that!
CHAPTER THREE
TOM arrived about twenty minutes later. Emily hurried to the door when she heard his footsteps coming up the path. The rest of the team were assembling by the cars while Alan supervised the loading of the stretcher into one of the vehicles.
‘How is he?’ Emily asked, ushering Tom inside.
‘Not too good.’ He glanced into the sitting room and sighed. ‘Severe hypothermia from being half-submerged in the stream for several hours, plus a badly fractured femur. Good job Ben spoke to HQ. They’ve arranged for the helicopter to meet us in town and do the transfer.’
Emily nodded, not needing to labour the point. Speed was of the essence and the poor man was already at a disadvantage after being missing for so long. She led the way into the sitting room, avoiding Ben’s eyes as she went over to Louise. She’d let Tom fill him in. The less she had to say to him the better.
‘Louise, your husband is going to be flown to hospital in the emergency helicopter,’ she explained gently, sitting down beside her. ‘There isn’t room for you, I’m afraid, but someone will take you there so you can be with him.’
‘Alan’s going to take her,’ Tom put in, dropping wearily into an armchair.
‘Oh, that’s good.’ Emily smiled at the woman but still failed to get a response. Louise continued to sit there. She hadn’t attempted to drink her tea despite Emily’s urgings and Emily was beginning to feel really concerned.
‘Louise seems to be very shocked,’ she said, glancing at Tom. ‘She hasn’t said a word since she got here.’
Tom frowned. ‘She didn’t say anything when we found her, either.’ He turned to Ben. ‘Do you think this is a normal reaction?’
‘It’s difficult to say. Everyone reacts differently to stress,’ Ben replied. He got up and came over to the sofa and Emily hurriedly moved aside as he crouched down in front of the woman. ‘Do you understand what we are saying, Louise? Your husband is alive and he’s being taken to hospital.’
Louise looked at him with hollow eyes. ‘Are you sure? Sure that Dennis is alive? Only the last time it happened, they were wrong, you see.’
Emily frowned. ‘The last time? You mean this has happened before?’
‘Not to Dennis, no. But to my first husband…’ Louise broke off. She gave a little sob then managed to collect herself. ‘Frank and I were out shopping one day when he had a heart attack. The paramedics told me that he was all right but he wasn’t. I don’t think they meant to lie, really, they just didn’t realise…’
Louise couldn’t go on as tears overwhelmed her. Emily patted her hand, trying to hide her dismay. No wonder the poor woman was so distressed. To have it happen once would have been bad enough but to have something similar occur a second time must be horrendous.
‘It isn’t the same this time,’ Ben said gently and Emily shivered when she heard the compassion in his voice. Nobody hearing it could doubt that he wanted to help and she suddenly wished with all her heart that she’d received this kind of consideration when she had told him about Theo. It was hard not to let her emotions get the better of her as he continued in the same caring tone.
‘Your husband is alive and he will be treated at the hospital. Yes, he is very sick, but he’s alive, Louise, and everything possible will be done to keep him that way.’
Louise took a shuddering breath then stumbled to her feet. ‘I want to see him.’
‘I’ll take you,’ Tom offered immediately, standing up. He led her to the door, leaving Emily alone with Ben. He stood up as well, making it clear that he had no intention of lingering. Why should he, Emily thought bitterly as she followed him out. There was nothing here to interest him, after all.
‘Mummy!’
A pitiful wail from the top of the stairs brought her spinning round and her heart sank when she saw Theo standing there. He had Raffie, his favourite toy giraffe clutched in one hand, and his comfort blanket in the other. Obviously all the comings and goings had woken him up.
‘It’s all right, darling,’ she said, running up the stairs and picking him up. She cuddled him close, feeling the tremor that passed through his sturdy little body. The cottage was quite secluded and he wasn’t used to hearing a lot of strange noises during the night.
She carried him downstairs, knowing it was pointless taking him back to bed. Theo needed a little reassurance and there was no one better for that than his mummy. She reached the last tread and stopped, only then realising that Ben was still standing where she’d left him. She’d expected him to beat a hasty retreat as soon as he’d heard Theo but, oddly enough, he was still there.
She glanced at him and felt her blood freeze when she saw the expression on his face. Shock, disbelief, amazement were all etched there clear to see. For a moment Emily couldn’t understand what was going on and then it struck her in a blinding flash what had happened. Ben had finally been forced to acknowledge the truth. Now that he’d seen Theo, he could no longer claim he wasn’t the child’s father. The resemblance which had been so apparent to her from the moment her son had been born couldn’t be denied, although no doubt once Ben recovered his composure, he would do so. Tipping back her head, she looked him straight in the eyes.
‘This is my son, Theo.’
Ben felt as though his body had turned to jelly. His legs were shaking and his insides were trembling as he stared at the little boy clinging hold of Emily’s neck. The resemblance was unmistakable. He had two nephews and this child—Theo?—looked so like them that it was staggering. Had he been wrong? Was it possible that he had fathered this child after all?
‘Right, that’s settled. Alan’s taking Louise with him…’ Tom came back into the cottage. He stopped when he realised that he was interrupting something. He glanced uncertainly from Emily and Theo to Ben then did a double take, and Ben knew—he just knew!—that Tom had seen it too, seen the resemblance between him and Emily’s son.
It was all too much to take in and far too much to deal with. Swinging round, Ben strode out of the door, hearing Emily’s murmured response when Tom said something to her before he quickly followed him. He got into the back of the second Land Rover, cramming himself into the corner as Tom got in beside him. The rest of the team had divided themselves between the vehicles as best they could with the stretcher taking up so much room. It was a squeeze to fit everyone in but he didn’t care. At least Tom couldn’t ask him any awkward questions, awkward because he had no idea what the answers were. Had he been mistaken, had he seen something in the child that wasn’t there? Maybe he could have convinced himself if his friend hadn’t seen it too!
The drive back to town was completed in silence, at least on their behalf. The rest of the group was buoyed up by the fact that they’d found the missing couple. They tried to persuade him and Tom to join them for a celebratory pint at The Ship but Ben refused. He needed to be on his own, needed to sort out how he felt and after that, more importantly, he needed to work out what he was going to do. If the child was his then his whole life was about to change.
‘How about a nightcap?’ Tom let them in, closing the door quietly so as not to disturb Hannah and Charlie who were asleep upstairs. ‘You look as though you could do with one, if you don’t mind me saying so.’
‘Feel free.’ Ben sighed as he followed Tom into the sitting room. Maybe he would prefer to be alone but he could hardly refuse to talk to Tom. Slumping down in a chair, he looked at his friend with sardonic amusement. ‘It’s been an eventful night, one way and another.’
‘It has indeed.’ Tom handed him a glass of single malt then sat down. ‘Am I right in thinking that tonight turned out to be rather a shock for you?’
‘Yes.’ Ben took a sip of the fiery liquid and let it trickle down his throat.
‘So you had no idea about Theo?’
‘Yes and no.’ Another sip of whisky followed the first and the fire reached his belly. He had a son, a child of his own, something he had never dared hope he would have. Shock slowly started to turn to something more, the first glimmer of a far more positive emotion, but he battened it down. He didn’t want to get ahead of himself, didn’t want to believe the evidence of his eyes with nothing to back it up.
‘Yes and no? I don’t understand. Either you knew that Theo was yours or you didn’t. Which is it?’
‘Emily told me she was expecting my child but I didn’t believe her.’ The words sounded so bald that the burgeoning feeling of euphoria disappeared. They obviously had a detrimental effect on Tom too because his tone sharpened.
‘Why the hell not? Emily’s not the sort of woman who’d string a guy along. Anyone who knows her will tell you that.’
Ben grimaced, aware that he had sunk more than a little in his friend’s estimation. ‘I didn’t believe her because I thought I was incapable of fathering a child.’
‘Really? How come?’
Tom’s tone was less abrasive and Ben sighed. Although he rarely talked about what had happened this was one time when he needed to open up.
‘I had Hodgkin’s lymphoma when I was in my twenties.’ He shrugged. ‘I had chemotherapy and I was told that it was unlikely I would be able to father a child because of the combination of drugs I’d received. A subsequent fertility test seemingly proved that.’
‘I had no idea!’ Tom exclaimed.
Ben smiled wryly. ‘It’s not something I talk about normally.’
‘No. I can understand that.’ Tom frowned. ‘So, what you’re saying is that you’ve always believed you were infertile?’
Ben nodded. ‘Yes. When Emily came to see me in Paris, I simply assumed she was lying and that the child wasn’t mine.’
‘But surely you knew her well enough to know that she wouldn’t do something like that?’ Tom protested.
‘Maybe I should have done. However, when you have always believed what you’ve been told, it’s difficult to accept that someone is telling you something very different.’ Ben summoned a smile, trying not to let his friend see how awful he felt. He had been so cruel to Emily that day, turned her away with harsh words instead of offering her the support she’d deserved. He couldn’t bear to think how she must have suffered.
‘I suppose so.’
Tom sounded dubious and Ben realised that his friend still considered him to be at fault in some way. The fact that he felt he was too didn’t make him feel any better. They both drank a little more whisky before Tom spoke again and there was a definite challenge in his voice.
‘So what are you going to do? Are you going to try and sort out this mess or are you planning on leaving the situation as it is?’
‘Obviously, it needs sorting out. If I’m Theo’s father then there is no way that I intend to turn my back on him. I want to be involved in his life.’
‘If Emily will let you.’
‘Oui. If Emily will let me,’ Ben agreed flatly. ‘I would not blame her if she refused. When I recall what I said to her that day…’ He broke off and shrugged.
Tom shook his head. ‘It seems to me that you’ve a lot of ground to make up. If I can help in any way then just ask. However, I have a feeling that only you can work this out, you and Emily, that is.’ Tom downed the rest of his drink and stood up. He patted Ben on the shoulder as he passed. ‘Why don’t you sleep on it? Most problems appear better after a night’s rest, I find.’
Ben stayed where he was as Tom headed upstairs. He swirled the whisky around the glass. Would there be a solution in the morning though? Would he know how to approach Emily and make his apologies? Would she accept them? He had accused her of lying about something so important and he wouldn’t blame her if she refused to have anything to do with him. Tom was right because he should have realised that Emily would never try to deceive him that way. Even though they had known each other for such a short time, he should have recognized that it was alien to her nature.
He sighed. In his own defence, he had firmly believed that he was infertile. Although, as a doctor, he understood that nothing was ever one hundred per cent certain, the tests he’d had seemingly had ruled out the possibility of him fathering a child. That was why it had never occurred to him that Emily might have been telling him the truth. He had seen the test results, seen the evidence with his own eyes, ergo she’d been lying.
The fact that he’d felt so hurt and betrayed by her apparent treachery had been another reason why he had reacted so strongly, he realised. Having cancer had changed his whole outlook on life. He had stopped planning for the future for the simple reason that the future might never happen. That was why he had taken only short-term working contracts after he’d recovered. A month here, two months there—it may not have been the career he’d planned, but at least he wouldn’t end up letting people down.
As for his private life, well, that had been simpler; any relationships he’d had had been strictly casual. There were no certainties in his life any more. Things could and did change in the blink of an eye as he knew from experience. He wasn’t in a position whereby he could commit himself to a relationship. However, when he’d met Emily, he had found himself doing the unthinkable, imagining what it would be like to share his life with her. That was why it had hit him so hard when she’d told him she was pregnant. He had always wanted a child and he’d known that he would have loved their child so very much…
Ben made himself stop right there. That was all in the past. Now he had to focus on the present, on finding a way to persuade Emily to give him a second chance. He only had to recall his relationship with his own father to understand how important it was that he and Theo got to know one another. It wasn’t going to be easy to convince Emily after the way he had behaved. Maybe there had been mitigating factors, and maybe she would take them into account if he was lucky, but all the maybes in the world didn’t add up to a guarantee. Whilst he was sure that Theo would benefit from having him around, he doubted if Emily would feel that she’d gain from it.
He grimaced. From what he had seen, Emily neither needed nor wanted him in her life.
Emily was glad that it was Saturday and that there was no surgery that day. Although she loved her job, a sleepless night had left her feeling drained. She got Theo dressed then gave him his breakfast in the garden because it was another gloriously sunny day. Leaving him eating his cereal, she went back inside and made herself a cup of coffee.
All night long thoughts had whizzed around her head, thoughts of Theo and Ben and what would happen. Would Ben change his mind about wanting to be involved in Theo’s life now that he’d seen him, or would it make no difference whatsoever? It would be easier if she knew how she felt about it all but she didn’t. On the one hand she didn’t want anything to do with Ben after the way he had treated her; however, on the other, she couldn’t bear to think that Theo might suffer if she denied him access to his father. Having been brought up by parents who had loved and supported her unconditionally, she didn’t want to deny Theo that same opportunity.
A knock on the front door roused her from her reverie and she hurried to answer it, expecting it to be her elderly neighbour, Mrs Rose. She often called on Saturday morning with her shopping list so that Emily could pick up what she needed at the supermarket. Opening the door, she summoned a smile that rapidly faded when she found Ben standing on the step.
‘What do you want?’ she demanded.
‘I think that’s obvious, don’t you?’ he replied calmly.
Emily’s lips compressed firstly because the trite answer annoyed her intensely and secondly because how dared he sound so calm when she felt so churned up? ‘No, I don’t think it’s obvious. Not when it concerns a man who has no desire whatsoever to acknowledge his responsibilities.’
‘That was then and this is now.’ He gave another of those shrugs but it had the opposite effect this time. Emily felt her temper soar. His arrogance was breathtaking. He seemed to think that he could pick and choose what he wanted to do with no recourse to anyone else, and especially not to her!
‘Really? Well, I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that, Ben. You made your feelings perfectly clear when I came to see you. You didn’t believe me when I told you I was expecting your child, or at least, that was the line you fed me.’
‘It wasn’t a line. I didn’t believe you.’
The conviction in his voice cut through her anger and she stared at him in shock. ‘You really mean that, don’t you?’
‘Oui. I had no reason to believe what you were saying but every reason to doubt it.’ He paused and she sensed that he found it difficult to continue but she refused to help him. Why should she make this easier for him when he had been so cruel to her?
‘I had cancer when I was in my twenties. After I’d finished my treatment, I was told that I could never father a child.’ He looked her in the eyes and she could see the pain in his. ‘That was why I didn’t believe you, Emily. I couldn’t accept that the child you were carrying was mine when I’d been told it could never happen.’
CHAPTER FOUR
‘CANCER!’
Ben could hear the shock in Emily’s voice and his heart contracted in sudden dread. The main reason why he avoided mentioning that he’d had cancer was because of the reaction it aroused. People feared cancer more than anything else and their response simply heightened his feeling of vulnerability. Although he’d been effectively cleared of the cancer, the thought that it might return was always at the back of his mind. He knew that his response wasn’t unusual; he’d met other cancer survivors and they had felt the same. Not even being told that they were cured could completely remove the last vestiges of fear.
‘Oui. I had Hodgkin’s lymphoma,’ he said flatly, not wanting to go down that route. He needed to tell Emily the facts as emotionlessly as possible and see where they went from there. ‘It was treated successfully. However, the drugs I was given left me infertile… or so I believed.’
‘I don’t know what to say.’ Emily took a deep breath and he saw a little colour come back to her face. ‘Obviously, that does help to explain why you reacted the way you did when I came to see you…’
‘Yes, it does!’ he said urgently, wondering if this was the opening he needed.
‘However, it doesn’t excuse it. You never gave me a chance, Ben, never even considered the possibility that I was telling you the truth. You’d been told you couldn’t father a child so that meant I was lying.’ She stared at him and the absence of warmth in her eyes sent a chill through him. ‘It proves how little you knew me, how little you cared to know.’
‘That’s not fair!’
‘Isn’t it? I disagree. I was just a convenience to you, someone you slept with, someone you never intended to see again once you left here.’
‘You make it sound so… so cold blooded,’ he protested and she shrugged.
‘I’m merely being truthful. We had an affair and that was it. There was never any talk of us staying together, was there?’
‘Perhaps we did not discuss it but neither did we rule it out,’ he countered and she laughed.
‘Oh, well done. I believe that’s called thinking on your feet. You don’t want to antagonise me so you’ve decided to put a spin on things.’
‘No, I don’t want to antagonise you, Emily. It’s the last thing I want to do.’ The comment had touched a nerve. Maybe there was some truth in what she’d said, but the situation wasn’t as clear cut as she believed. Although he may not have been able to offer her more than the few glorious weeks they’d had, it didn’t mean he hadn’t wanted to.
It was another thought he didn’t want to dwell on and he hurried on. ‘I want us to talk, Emily. I want us to try and reach some sort of agreement to help us deal with this situation.’
‘And what if I don’t want to talk? What if I feel that it would be better for everyone if you went back to Paris and carried on with your life—then what will you do?’
‘Try to change your mind, and if that doesn’t work, take whatever steps are necessary.’ His tone was flat which was surprising when he seemed to be a seething mass of emotions inside. Emily’s antipathy couldn’t be plainer. That was painful enough, but the fact that it was bound to have an effect on his hopes of building a relationship with Theo made it so much worse.
‘I intend to be involved in my son’s life whether you like the idea or not. I may be at fault for not believing you were carrying my child but there is nothing I can do about that now except explain my reasons and apologise. However, if you deny me access then I warn you that I shall fight you, Emily.’
Emily felt a rush of panic assail her. She hadn’t meant to stir up such a reaction but it seemed she had. She bit her lip, hating the feeling that she’d been backed into a corner. She needed time to think, time to work out how she felt. Learning that Ben had had cancer was a huge shock and she knew that it had made a difference. She needed to get that straight in her head before she did anything else.
‘Look, this is all getting out of hand,’ she began then stopped when Theo appeared, carrying his empty cereal bowl.
‘Finished, Mummy,’ he said, handing it to her before looking curiously at the man standing on the step.
Emily felt her heart catch when once again she was made aware of the resemblance between them. With his black curls, olive skin and huge dark eyes, Theo was the image of his father. Ben obviously realised it too because an expression of amazement crossed his face once more.
‘Bonjour, Theo. How are you today?’ he asked softly, bending down. He ran his finger down the little boy’s cheek and Emily felt a rush of tears fill her eyes when she saw him shudder. It was the first time Ben had actually touched his son and it was obvious that the contact had affected him deeply. It was only when Theo backed away, sheltering shyly behind her legs, that she collected herself. It was Theo who mattered most. How Ben did or didn’t feel wasn’t important.
She scooped the little boy into her arms and cuddled him close. Although Theo was a friendly, outgoing child with people he knew, he tended to be wary around strangers and she didn’t want him getting upset. She looked Ben firmly in the eyes, determined to start the way she intended to go on. ‘I’m sorry but I’m going to have to ask you to leave. I have things to do and I can’t spare the time to stand here talking to you.’
‘Really?’ Ben’s expression darkened as he straightened. ‘And when will you have the time, Emily?’
‘I’m not sure.’ She went to close the door, stopping when he put out his hand.
‘That’s not good enough, I’m afraid. We need to talk and I have no intention of allowing you to fob me off.’
‘The way you fobbed me off in Paris,’ she shot back and he flinched.
‘I have already apologised for that. If you want me to apologise again then I shall. I am very sorry for the way I behaved that day. I was unnecessarily harsh, even though at the time I truly believed I had every right to be.’
The words were faultless; however the tone of his voice told a very different story and her mouth compressed. Ben may be paying lip service to an apology but he didn’t really mean it. He still believed that he’d been right to call her a liar and a cheat without taking the time to consider that he might have been wrong. It simply drove it home to her once more how little he had cared about her. She’d been good enough to share his bed but she hadn’t warranted his respect. How on earth could they find any common ground with regard to Theo when their relationship was based on such shaky footings?
‘This isn’t getting us anywhere,’ she said quickly, afraid that it would take very little for her to break down. Although she’d been under no illusions about how Ben felt, it hurt to know that he’d cared so little about her when she had cared so much about him. ‘I don’t want you upsetting Theo so I want you to leave. If you insist on talking to me then I suggest we do it away from here.’
‘That’s fine by me, although I must point out that I have every intention of seeing Theo again.’ His expression softened as he looked at the little boy. ‘I want to get to know him, find out what he likes and dislikes.’
‘If—and it’s a big if at this stage—we reach that point then I won’t stand in your way if I think it’s best for Theo. However, I won’t allow you to bulldoze me into doing what you want, Ben. It’s Theo I’m concerned about, not you or what you want.’
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