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The Wolf Siren
Karen Whiddon
Resistance is futile…As Pack Protector, Kane McGraw never gets involved with the victims he saves. But Lilly Gideon has intrigued him ever since he helped free her from a religious compound. So when he learns that she’s still in danger, he can’t stay away.Years of psychological torture have left Lilly without the ability to control her shifter nature. Any man she touches is driven mad by an all-consuming desire. Though she wants Kane, she’s forced to deny him the release they most crave. That is, until he decides it’s time to take matters – and her – into his own hands…



“We need to talk,” Kane said, his deep voice serious.
“I’m coming to understand that there’s a lot more to you than I or anyone else realizes.”
“I warned you I was messed up.” Lilly tried to keep it light, failing miserably. “Fifteen years of captivity will do that to a person.”
He took her hand, stunning her into temporary silence. “It was more than just captivity, I know. You mentioned they experimented on you.”
Her nod was the only answer she could manage.
“Lilly, I need you to tell me what happened to me when you sang.”
Once she would have hung her head. But this was not her fault. So she lifted her chin and looked Kane directly in the eyes.
“I don’t know how or why, but apparently when I sing, my voice is like the mythical sirens, compelling men. As it did you.”
Narrow-eyed, he stared. “Then why can’t I remember? Even if you could make me do something, you shouldn’t be able to make me forget.”
“I don’t know. But you kissed me.” Her face heated, which meant she was most likely a fiery red.
KAREN WHIDDON started weaving fanciful tales for her younger brothers at the age of eleven. Amid the Catskill Mountains of New York, then the Rocky Mountains of Colorado, she fueled her imagination with the natural beauty that surrounded her. Karen now lives in north Texas, where she shares her life with her very own hero of a husband and three doting dogs. Also an entrepreneur, she divides her time between the business she started and writing. You can e-mail Karen at KWhiddon1@aol.com (mailto:KWhiddon1@aol.com) or write to her at PO Box 820807, Fort Worth, TX 76182, USA. Fans of her writing can also check out her website, www.karenwhiddon.com (http://www.karenwhiddon.com).
The Wolf Siren
Karen Whiddon


www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
To Patricia Ann Corcoran, 5-2-35 to 9-27-13.
You were many things in the 78 years you lived in this world, but to me you were first and foremost my mother. I will always miss you.
Contents
Chapter 1 (#u8c69d106-166b-53bd-b5a4-b0f5f54b81df)
Chapter 2 (#u91cafc02-f030-5c5a-bcdd-7049b1de6749)
Chapter 3 (#uf53aac4c-90f3-5176-8ae0-4b37fd263b02)
Chapter 4 (#udf6dd967-0f69-59e5-8254-97d3ed33cd34)
Chapter 5 (#u2eb01f7c-239d-5682-ae27-d12301d23c39)
Chapter 6 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 7 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 8 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 9 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 10 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 11 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 12 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 13 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 14 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 15 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 16 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 17 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 18 (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 1
“You look...” The tall, dark-haired man stared, his silver gaze intense. “A thousand times better than the last time I saw you.”
Clutching the door handle and peering out through the six-inch crack, Lilly Gideon tried hard not to tremble. Belatedly, she realized she never should have opened the door. But then, she hadn’t known this man had been coming up the sidewalk.
Or had she? Something, some inner restlessness, had given her the urge to step out onto the front porch. Surely, she hadn’t been going to meet this stranger who talked as if he knew her. He had a confident air of masculine authority and the sheer strength of his muscular body overwhelmed her.
She struggled to speak, to summon up some sort of relatively normal response. She was safe, she told herself over and over like a mantra, ignoring the shiver of dread working its way up her spine. Finally safe. Her brother, Lucas, his wife, Blythe, and her daughter, Hailey, were in the kitchen and would come running at the slightest sound. All she had to do was call. But staring at the handsome stranger, still she couldn’t seem to force words past her closed-up throat.
“Lilly?” he asked, the deep dustiness of his voice striking a chord inside her, as if her soul recognized him. “It’s me, Kane McGraw. Don’t you remember me?”
Pushing away the panic, she struggled to simply breathe. The chiseled planes of his rugged face did seem achingly familiar, but with her tangled confusion of memories, she didn’t know if this was a good thing or bad. He wore his dark hair short, spiky, a bit longer than military style, which added to his self-confident appearance. Once again, she found him intimidating.
Despite her best effort to appear brave, she let her hand creep up to her throat and dredged up words. “I...no. I don’t remember you.”
Her twin brother, Lucas, must have had a second sense, too. Something that told him she needed him right now. “Lilly?” he called, appearing in the arched opening that led to the foyer. “Are you all right?”
Relief flooding her, she turned her panicked gaze toward him, imploring silently for help.
“What’s wrong?” Lucas strode toward her, putting himself in front of her even as he yanked the door all the way open.
“Kane?” Despite hearing the joy in her brother’s voice, Lilly stepped back, taking refuge in the small space between the door and the wall. She hated the way terror still consumed her, but for now she didn’t yet have the strength to overcome it. Maybe someday, but not just yet. She only hoped that with time...
“Lucas!” The two men gave each other the quick shoulder hug used by men.
“That was fast,” Lucas said, the sun making his brown hair appear blond. He glanced at Lilly, and then back at their visitor, grinning. Lilly envied her brother’s carefree attitude. Newly married and in love, his clear blue eyes radiated happiness. She kept hoping some of it would rub off on her. So far, she hadn’t been so blessed.
Kane laughed, a throaty chuckle, drawing her attention. “As soon as you told me what you needed, I dropped everything. My vacation days were piling up unused anyway. I think the Society of Pack Protectors was shocked that I wanted to take them.”
Though the deep rumble of this stranger’s voice chased away the chill inside her, she kept herself utterly still, hoping she wouldn’t draw any attention to herself. Of course, her brother noticed immediately.
“Lilly?” Lucas held out his hand, waiting until she’d slipped her fingers into his before continuing. “Don’t you remember Kane? He helped us rescue you.”
The reassuring sincerity in Lucas’s expression calmed her enough to enable her to look at the other man. “I’m sorry,” she murmured. “My memories from that time are all blurry.”
Kane’s smoky gaze held hers. “That’s understandable. You’ve been through a lot.”
She nodded, although fifteen years of torture, clinging to the edge of life, had been more than a lot. She was damaged, broken in more ways than one. Though she was eager to purge that time from her memory and heal herself so she could stride with confidence into the world, first she had to shake the paralyzing terror that dogged her every move.
Before she could run, she needed to walk. Before she could walk, she’d have to manage a crawl.
“Come on in,” Lucas said, pulling Lilly toward him so he could fully open the door. She yanked her hand free, fighting the awful tide of panic rising in her throat. Though she wanted to flee, to tear down the hall toward her room, where she could close herself in and feel safe, she kept herself still, legs rooted in the carpet. She hated her fear and used this to find the strength to stand her ground. Her hands were clenched into fists, but despite that, she managed to lift her head and study Lucas’s friend.
“Welcome,” she said, trying to remember how to sound warm.
At her greeting, he smiled. Not just any smile, but a devastating curve of the mouth that heated her and inexplicably sent her pulse racing. Before, she’d thought him good-looking, in a muscular, dangerous sort of way. But now, feeling the pull of his grin, she realized he was more than that. He was beautiful, like a dark angel who’d recently tumbled from heaven.
She shivered. She’d had enough of angels and prophets, thank you very much.
“Blythe will be happy to see you.” Lucas strode toward the kitchen, calling his wife’s name as he went. Blythe met him halfway, her long blond hair pulled into a neat braid. As she moved toward them, she appeared to dance on her bare feet. Her bright green eyes lit up when she saw Kane.
Lilly watched, as detached as if she were separated from the others by a thick sheet of glass. Blythe, hugged Kane as if he was a long-lost brother, then her daughter, Hailey, squealed with delight as she threw herself at the tall man’s legs.
Once the greetings and hugs were finished and things quieted down, Lucas led the way into the kitchen. He waited until everyone else had disappeared inside before returning to retrieve Lilly, who still stood frozen, unable to make herself move.
“Are you coming?” he asked, the concern in his voice making her feel guilty.
Rather than answer, she shook her head, sending her long hair whipping around her. Wrapping her arms around herself, even though the movement gave her no comfort, she swallowed. “I’m not feeling well,” she told him. “I’m going to go lie down.”
His expression sharpened, letting her know he didn’t entirely buy the lie. But then, as she’d known he would, he nodded. “I’ll bring you something to eat later then, okay?”
Angry—both at herself for lacking the courage to join them and, unreasonably, at him for cutting her so much slack—she nodded. Then, without another word, she spun on her heel and marched away to her room.
Once there, she didn’t dissolve into tears and throw herself on her bed. She supposed that would have been progress, at least. Instead, she went to the small desk she’d placed in front of the window, and took a seat, gazing outside and marveling once again at how green everything was here. As she’d learned to do while trapped in a dank, basement cell, she let her mind separate from her body. She wondered if she’d ever stop wanting to curl up and die.
* * *
Following Lucas and Blythe into the kitchen, Kane fought the urge to turn back and go after Lilly. His wolf had once again reared his wild head the instant he’d inhaled Lilly’s fragile and feminine scent. On the long drive from Texas to Seattle, he’d thought about this reaction, which had stunned him the first time he’d seen her, half-dead in a concrete cell. Then, he’d wondered if it had been a fluke. Now he knew it hadn’t. The question was, what was he going to do about it?
Though she no longer looked like a broken rag-doll, Lilly was still clearly damaged. Kane would have to be careful, especially since he’d just agreed to act as her full-time bodyguard.
“Does she know why I’m here?” Kane asked, taking a seat at the oak-planked, country-style table and accepting the beer Blythe brought him.
“Just a minute.” Lucas cast a warning look at Hailey, which Blythe picked up on.
“Hailey, why don’t we watch one of your DVDs,” Blythe said, taking her daughter’s hand and leading her from the kitchen.
Kane sipped on his beer. Lucas waited until the sound of the television came on before speaking. “No. Despite therapy once a week, she spends most of her time in a state close to terrified anxiety. I thought it better if she didn’t know.” He got up, crossed to the fridge and snagged his own beer.
“About any of it?”
Lucas’s troubled expression gave Kane his answer. “I’ve been trying to shield her as best I can. She isn’t aware of the break-in attempt. I had Blythe and Hailey take her out for ice cream when the police came to make their report.”
“And you’re confident they weren’t after Hailey?”
“Yes.” Lucas clenched his jaw. “They broke in through Lilly’s window. This might have been a coincidence, except they never left her room. They tore it apart like they were looking for something.”
“You also said someone tried to abduct her?”
“Yes. Someone tried to grab her when she and Blythe were leaving therapy, but Blythe pretty much convinced her that the guy was trying to rob them.”
“How sure are you that he wasn’t?”
Dragging his hand across his chin, Lucas nodded. “First off, he didn’t try and get their purses. Second, he left Blythe alone. The SOB went right for Lilly.”
Kane nodded. Both he and Lucas had dealt with the crazy cult members who’d belonged to Sanctuary, Jacob Gideon’s pseudo-religious organization. They’d worked together, along with The Society of Pack Protectors, to take them down. In the process, they’d not only rescued Blythe and her daughter, Hailey, but they’d saved Lilly, Lucas’s sister, whom he’d believed had been murdered fifteen years earlier.
“Most of the cultists are locked up,” Kane mused. “Though we’ve been made aware of a few others who weren’t there the day the raid went down.”
“You know how determined those bastards are.” Lucas didn’t bother to hide his bitterness. “My sister suffered for years because of them.”
“I think I should take her out of here,” Kane said. “And quickly.”
Lucas stared at him in shock. Of course, Kane had known getting Lucas to accept his plan wasn’t going to be easy.
“Hear me out.”
After a moment, Lucas finally nodded. His guarded expression made it clear he wasn’t happy with the idea. “Go on.”
“You want me to keep her safe.” Kane leaned forward. “I can do that. I’m good at my job. But...”
The word hung in the air. Lucas took a long drink of his beer, waiting for his friend to finish the statement.
“She needs to go into hiding.”
“You really think you can protect her better away from here?” The low pitch of Lucas’s voice told Kane he recognized the truth, whether or not he liked it.
“Don’t you?”
Grimacing, Lucas gave a reluctant nod. “Where are you planning to take her?”
“I think it’s actually better if you don’t know.”
“Then she’s not going anywhere.” Lucas’s emphatic answer came without hesitation. “I lost her once before. I won’t do so again.”
This Kane could understand. He nodded. “Fine. I want to take her to my hometown. Leaning Tree, New York.”
From Lucas’s frown, it was clear he’d never heard of it. This was one of the reasons Kane had chosen the small town. “Is it Pack?”
“Mostly. It’s pretty remote, tucked away in the rolling Catskill Mountains. My entire family lives there—parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins.” He shrugged. “I haven’t been home in a few years. My parents own a resort—actually, it’s an old-fashioned motor court. With separate cabins. They’re pretty secluded and there’s only one road in and out. I’m thinking Lilly and I will stay there.”
Lucas narrowed his eyes. “You’ve got this all planned out, don’t you?”
“Yes.” Kane smiled and then rolled his shoulders, trying to release some of the knots he’d incurred on the long drive northwest. “I’m damn good at what I do. That’s why you called me, isn’t it?”
Instead of answering, Lucas pushed to his feet. He strode to the doorway and peered out into the den, his expression softening noticeably. “Blythe, could you come here for a minute? I need to get your opinion.”
Instantly, Blythe appeared, sweeping her silky, brownish-blond hair away from her face.
“Kane wants to take Lilly away,” Lucas said. “He feels he can keep her safer if he does.”
Blythe’s bright green gaze locked on her husband’s as they linked hands. She and Lucas appeared to communicate silently. Watching them, Kane pushed away a sharp stab of envy. Not everyone in the Pack was fortunate enough to find their mate like their wild cousins. Human Shape-shifters only mated once. Kane had been privileged to be present when Lucas and Blythe had realized they were meant for each other. Witnessing this had only increased Kane’s intense and private hunger to join with a mate of his own someday.
“How do you feel about that?” Blythe finally asked, a soft frown of worry creasing her smooth brow. Kane noted she didn’t ask whether Lucas felt Lilly would be safer somewhere else. She knew her husband well and understood how tightly Lucas wanted to hold on to the sister he’d believed to be dead fifteen years gone. Kane got this, too, but he knew what he wanted to do was ultimately the best way to keep Lilly safe.
Hands linked, Lucas and Blythe turned to face Kane. “Do you promise to keep us in the loop? We want frequent updates, texts and pictures, all of it, you know,” Blythe said.
“As much as I can,” Kane answered. “As long as it doesn’t compromise Lilly’s safety.”
Still Lucas hadn’t spoken. Kane waited, arms crossed. He needed to be sure he had Lucas’s 100-percent approval or his plan was a no-go.
Finally, Lucas gave a slow nod. “Fine. Let me get her and we’ll tell her now. When do you want to leave?”
“As soon as possible.”
Lucas jerked his chin and turned. Blythe’s hand on his arm stopped him. “Let me fetch her,” she said softly. “You and Kane need to present a united front in this.”
Though Lucas nodded, Kane saw Blythe’s comment perplexed him. Clearly he hadn’t considered the possibility that his sister wouldn’t go along with his plans.
A moment later, Blythe returned. Behind her came Lilly, a quiet wraith of a woman, strands of her long, honey-blond hair drifting around her shoulders as she moved. She slipped into the room, the graceful way she seemed to glide making Kane think of a dancer.
“You want me to what?” she said, as soon as Lucas finished explaining to her. Her bright blue eyes appeared to glow in her delicate oval face. “That makes no sense. Why would you think I’d want to take a trip with a man I barely remember?”
That stung, though Kane kept the same pleasant expression he always wore when around her. Since the first time he’d seen Lilly, emaciated and filthy, huddled in a heap of rags in a dark and dank cell, she’d haunted his every thought.
Lucas exchanged a glance with Blythe and Kane knew they were deciding whether or not to tell her the truth. While this wasn’t his call, at least not yet, he felt he had to make his position known. “I’m not going to lie,” he warned the other man, his arms still crossed. “I don’t see a reason to.”
“Lie?” Frowning, Lilly looked from Kane to Lucas and back again. “What are you talking about? Is there something you’re not telling me?”
Judging from Lucas’s clenched jaw, he wasn’t happy. Yet when he spoke, his tone was soft and soothing. “We think a few of the doctors from Sanctuary are still at large.”
Suddenly, Lilly’s entire demeanor changed. Kane watched as all the animation disappeared from her face and she...shut down. That was the only way he could describe it. All the light simply vanished from her eyes.
“And you think they’re going to try and take me back.” Not even a question, she delivered the statement in a flat, emotionally dead voice.
Kane found himself aching to reach out and comfort her, but of course he couldn’t.
Having no such compunction, Blythe wrapped Lilly in her arms. “It’s okay,” she murmured. “We’ve got your back.”
Lilly stood like a statue, neither returning nor rejecting the embrace. Finally, she stepped away from Blythe and faced her brother. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“We didn’t want to stress you. You’ve already been through so much.” Lucas’s voice broke as he tried to explain. Lilly continued to wait, her gaze unblinking, while Lucas struggled to find the right words to express his concern without completely terrifying her. A difficult task.
Finally, Kane took pity on him. “Your brother is worried about you. Rightly so. That’s why he asked me to come help. I promise, you’ll be safe with me,” he said, the certainty in his tone meant to let her know she needn’t be anxious.
“Will I?” Just like that, with one sweep of her eyes through impossibly long lashes, she let him know she’d rather stay. “No offense, but I think I’d rather take my chances here, with my brother and his family.”
Lucas shook his head, his gaze full of pain and regret. “That’s not an option, Lilly. Much as I’d like it to be.”
Lilly glanced from her brother to his new bride, and then toward the living room where a newly healed five-year-old watched television. Kane saw the moment the realization came to her. Both hurt and understanding flashed across her fragile features before she gave a wooden nod.
“I understand,” she said, her flat tone letting them know she’d retreated to that place inside herself that made her feel safe. “When do you need me to be ready?”
Steeling himself, Kane glanced at his watch. “How about in one hour?”
Ignoring the instant protests by both Lucas and Blythe—their voices merging together as they insisted Kane stay for dinner or better yet, the night—Lilly jerked her chin in a simple nod and glided out of the room.
Kane waited until she was gone before lifting his hand. “Enough.”
Just like that, they fell silent. “I’m leaving tonight. She’s getting ready. The sooner we get out of town, the better. I don’t want whoever is watching her to get a make on me or my vehicle.”
Blythe frowned. “You think they’re watching the house?”
Careful to appear casual, Kane gave a nonchalant shrug. “It’s possible. One thing I’ve learned over the years is to always expect the worst.”
Though Lucas nodded, agreeing with him, Blythe’s frown deepened. “If that’s the case, when they see you leaving with her, they’re going to follow.”
“I’ve already considered that.” Fishing in his backpack, he pulled out a plastic bag containing one of the wigs he’d purchased before leaving Texas. “Have her put this on. The color and style are similar to yours. Also, it’d help if you lend her one of your outfits. Something you wear often, that might be easily recognizable as yours.”
Accepting the wig, she finally graced him with a small smile. “You think you can make them believe Lilly is me.”
Again he shrugged. “People generally see what they want to see. They’ll have no reason to think otherwise. But to make certain, I’d like you to put on this.” Again he dug in his bag, bringing out a second wig. “This is as close as I could get to her hairstyle.”
Taking this wig, too, Blythe laughed, the musical sound making both Lucas and Kane smile. “You really have thought of everything.”
Still smiling at his wife, Lucas clapped him on the shoulder. “I told you he’s good.”
Before Blythe could respond, Lilly appeared in the doorway. “I’m ready,” she said quietly, holding a small overnight bag. Though she wore a determined look, she couldn’t manage to banish the trepidation in her eyes.
“Is that all you’re bringing?” Blythe crossed to her and took her arm. “Would you like me to help you pack a few more things?”
“No.” Lilly’s gaze found Kane’s. He felt a connection sizzling along his nerve endings. “I don’t need much,” she said.
He nodded. “And if she needs more, I can always buy something for her. Now,” he continued, his tone brisk. “The two of you go in the bathroom and change clothes and put on the wigs I got you.”
“What?” Lilly appeared thoroughly confused. “I don’t—”
Blythe took her arm, steering her in the right direction. “I’ll explain while we’re changing.”
After the two women had gone, Kane turned to find Lucas eyeing him. “Don’t worry. I’ll take good care of her,” Kane said.
“You’d better.” Lucas’s harsh tone spoke of deep emotion. “I don’t want to lose her again.”
“You won’t.” Kane uttered the two words fiercely. They both knew he’d given an oath. Nothing would happen to Lilly Gideon while on his watch.
When the two women reappeared, he eyed them critically. Up close, he could tell that the wigs were cheaply made, but even through binoculars they’d do the trick. Blythe’s clothing hung on Lilly’s too-thin frame, but again, the disguise should serve its purpose.
“Are you ready?” Kane asked Lilly, holding out his hand.
Though she nodded, she stepped back rather than touch him. Which was okay, for now. Eventually, he hoped she’d trust him enough to welcome his touch.
And more, his inner voice whispered. He banished the thought as soon as it occurred to him. Life was messy enough without unnecessary complications.
* * *
Lilly waited until they were on the highway before speaking. “More than anything,” she said, sounding softer than she would have liked, “I wish I could be like everyone else.”
“Really?” A smile curved Kane’s hard slash of a mouth. “How’s that?”
She shrugged, hurriedly glancing away from him. “Normal.” Hesitating the space of a heartbeat, she resolutely continued. “Sane. I’m not, you know.”
Though he had to realize she was, in all fairness, trying to warn him, Kane didn’t appear concerned. His chiseled features still radiated masculine confidence, as if there was no problem she could throw his way that he couldn’t handle. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve been through a lot. You’re stronger than you think. Not too many women could have survived an ordeal like that.”
Rote words, the kind of meaningless phrases her therapist was fond of throwing around. The anger surging through Lilly startled and surprised her. “You don’t even know me.” Her even tone gave no hint of the resentment simmering just below the surface. She’d learned the hard way how to impose an icy self-control, to pretend a confidence she didn’t feel.
Even now, having finally gained both her freedom and her brother, she felt as if she walked under the shadow of her father’s madness. He’d hurt and abused her, all in the name of love. After fifteen years of living as his captive, trying to hang on to the rapidly diminishing spark that made up her inner self, she no longer knew how to interact with others. Especially not men. Most particularly men like Kane, the kind that embodied all that was male.
“You’ll be fine,” he said, smiling, looking like some dark angel who ought to frighten her, but instead intrigued her way too much.
“Don’t,” she ordered, the catch in her voice contradicting its sharpness. “Don’t patronize me.”
“I wasn’t,” he said firmly. “Believe me, Lilly Gideon. That’s the last thing I want to do with you.”
She didn’t dare ask him what the first was. Though she knew he didn’t do it on purpose, the underlying sensuality in his husky voice made her shiver. If that was, in fact, what sensuality sounded like. She, who knew everything about how to endure torture and experiments and pain, knew absolutely nothing about a healthy relationship between a man and a woman. The closeness she’d experienced with her brother and his wife had been her first experience in fifteen years with anything remotely resembling love.
If that’s what it was. With the ground constantly shifting under her feet, she didn’t feel certain about anything. After all, she’d just begun to feel comfortable around her new-found family, and now she was being sent away with a man she barely knew.
“For your own safety,” Kane said, making her start and wonder if she’d said what was in her head. She hoped not.
“Did I...?” she asked, waving her hand to indicate what she meant.
“Speak your thoughts aloud? No.” He shook his head. “But you didn’t have to. Believe me, Lucas loves you. He only wants to keep you safe.”
“I understand.” Again, she thought she sounded cool and confident, the opposite of how she felt. Everything about this man made her feel unsettled. Even the throaty rasp of his voice danced along her nerve endings like a silk edged sword soaked in fire.
How did one respond to that?
“What’s in this for you?” she asked, more to distract herself than any real curiosity.
Instead of answering, he laughed. While she stared at him with a weird mixture of annoyance and trepidation. “Not everyone is completely self-serving. Some of us do things because it’s the right thing to do.”
She wanted to ask him to explain this cryptic message, but wasn’t sure how. Instead, she turned and pretended an interest in the passing scenery.
He didn’t speak again, which should have relieved her. Instead, her discomfort grew, making her fight the urge to squirm in her seat. Finally, she gave in and glanced at him. “Where are we going?”
“Someplace safe.” Though he barely looked at her, one corner of his mouth lifted to take the sting off his words.
“How far away?” Again she had to quell her own uneasy restlessness. She hated—no, despised—this weakness within her. She’d felt unsafe for so long she’d begun to wonder if she even knew how to be strong. Even with her brother, she’d found herself jumping at the slightest sound and battling the urge to crawl into her bed and take refuge under the covers.
“Across the country. It’ll take us four days to get there, if we travel easy.”
Again she nodded, keeping her face expressionless while she wondered what the hell was wrong with her, that she could don a mask of normalcy while inside she struggled with a maelstrom of conflicting emotions.
“And then what?”
He cocked one eyebrow, looking devilish and dangerous and a thousand other things that all made her want to wrench open her door and leap from the vehicle. Only the knowledge that she’d promised her brother—sworn to Lucas that she’d let Kane keep her safe—made her stay in the car.
“Once we arrive at our destination, we’ll work on beginning to teach you to protect yourself.”
Even trying to understand his cryptic pronouncements fatigued her. In fact, weariness slammed her with a force nearly as strong as one of her father’s blows. Too exhausted to fight any longer, she relaxed and gave in to it, closing her eyes and willing herself to fall asleep.
Chapter 2
Kane nearly grinned as Lilly closed her eyes and pretended sleep, as if by doing so she could shut him out. Whether she liked it or not, and she’d made it quite clear she did not, they were going to be spending a lot of time together.
The first few miles were awkward, as Kane had suspected they’d be. He drove in silence, giving her the space he knew she needed, trying not to let her scent make him dizzy. Her breathing slowed and evened, and he realized she truly had dropped off to slumber. Oddly enough, he felt honored. The fact that she could do so meant she trusted him, even on a subconscious level.
Either that or, in her years of captivity, she’d learned to take her rest when she could.
Though he couldn’t get a read on her inner wolf, his own beast had gone into an adrenaline-fueled high alert. Kane couldn’t figure out why, unless it was reacting to Lilly’s unusual aura. The visible aura was the way all Shape-shifters identified their own kind. Most were a subtle glow of color, pleasing to the eye.
Not Lilly’s. Hers pulsed a violent purple, so dark it appeared black. Such an unnatural color, the Pack doctors had said, could mean madness or even...death. None of them had seen anything like it.
Naturally, this worried Lucas and Blythe. Now that Kane had seen it, he understood their concern. He hoped with time he could help Lilly regain her confidence and perhaps bring her fractured inner wolf some kind of healing.
She dozed for a little over an hour, giving him time to work on relaxing, as well. It surprised him, this antsy restless feeling. In his work for the Protectors, he’d been in lots of dangerous situations. He and his wolf had always been in accord—none of the warring between the two halves of himself, as he’d heard happened with others.
But now, when there was no apparent danger, at least at this exact moment, his inner beast couldn’t be calmed.
Finally, Lilly stirred. Stretching, she smiled sleepily and opened her eyes. When she speared him with her bright blue gaze, the catch in his heart nearly made him recoil. What the hell?
An instant later, when Lilly realized where she was and who she was with, her smile vanished. Turning away, she resumed staring straight ahead, her entire body stiff and tense.
He put on a CD of old-school country music classics, believing that even the most die-hard introvert couldn’t sit quietly through Johnny Cash, Loretta Lynn, and Dolly Parton.
Eventually, even though she never looked directly at him, she began tapping her foot, proving him right.
Good. An outward sign she was finally relaxing.
Again she glanced sideways at him, and then looked away without speaking. He didn’t ask her if she had a question or needed something. Not yet. Since it would be a long drive cross-country from Seattle to upstate New York, he had the luxury of taking things slow.
Her stomach rumbled, causing her to flush red.
“Are you hungry?” he asked quietly.
“I could eat,” she admitted, careful to keep her eyes firmly fixed on the passing terrain. “What did you have in mind?”
An image flashed before him. He saw himself, as vividly as if it were happening, slanting his lips over hers, plundering her mouth with his tongue.
Swallowing hard, he blinked to dispel the picture. “How about a burger?” he managed. “I’m sure we can find a fast-food place.”
She made a noncommittal sound that he chose to take as agreement. He stifled the urge to smile. After speaking to Lucas and agreeing to help, Kane hadn’t been sure what to expect. While he knew Lilly was emotionally and physically fragile, he hadn’t realized he’d have to continually fight the urge to pull her into his arms and swear to her he’d give his life to keep her safe.
This was a given, even though she didn’t realize it yet. Maybe she never would. None of that mattered. She was his to protect, no matter the cost. As a Pack Protector, recruited at an early age, he always took his duties seriously. Even in his real job as a veterinarian, he considered himself dedicated. His clients and their pets—his patients—loved him for it. They’d even understood when he’d taken a leave of absence from the veterinary clinic to help Lucas protect Lilly.
“How often do you shape-shift?” Though she asked the question casually, the intent way she fixed her sky-blue eyes on him told Kane it was important.
Since he knew she wanted him to think it wasn’t, he lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “As often as I can. How about you?”
“I’m the opposite. I’d be happiest if I could figure out a way to never shift again.”
He’d expected this. Lucas had mentioned that Lilly had issues with shape-shifting. After what she’d been through, Kane could well imagine.
“There.” She pointed at a sign for a well-known fast-food restaurant. Obliging her, he took the next exit and parked close to the entrance.
Her question pleased him. It showed a bit of natural curiosity, a spark of life, a quality he’d feared he’d have to help Lilly completely rebuild.
After they’d both eaten and freshened up, they got back on the road. Kane had barely driven thirty miles before Lilly fell asleep again. Eyeing her, he couldn’t resist a smile.
She slept well for several hours. A good, clean rest, he thought. She didn’t appear to suffer from nightmares or even dreams. Apparently she had no bad associations from riding in a car.
He drove until dusk, then a bit farther. His neck hurt, his hands were stiff from gripping the wheel and he needed to stretch his legs. In the passenger seat, Lilly had begun to stir, blinking sleepily and looking around her with the barely awake curiosity of the truly innocent.
“Where are we?” she finally asked, her voice rusty.
“Nearly to Billings, Montana. We’re going to stop in a little bit.”
“Okay.”
Relief flooded him, though he was careful not to show it. Driving so long with only his own thoughts had made him wonder how she would do in a hotel room alone with him. He’d calculated they’d need to stop three times and they’d have to share a room each time. No way was he letting her out of his sight, not even to sleep. While he’d make sure they’d have separate beds, she’d be spending the darkest part of the night with a virtual stranger. Apparently, she wasn’t concerned, which was much better than he’d expected. He nearly smiled at her. Only the notion that it would probably scare her kept his face expressionless.
With classic country music wailing away in the background, they continued on. He pulled off I-90 in Billings, figuring ten hours on the road was enough for the first day. Truth be told, since Lilly had slept for several hours, he could have gone farther, but having recently made the trip from Texas to Seattle, all that driving had begun to catch up with him and he needed to rest.
After stopping in the office and paying for one night, he returned to the car holding the plastic key card. They drove around to the back side of the building, looking for Room 149. Parking in front, he glanced again at Lilly and then killed the car engine. The exterior of the hotel appeared a bit shabby, but hopefully the rooms would be clean. He slid his key into the sensor and opened the door. Lilly drifted along behind him like a ghost.
Kane turned on the lights, inhaling the slightly musty scent, and looked around. Two beds, check. Worn carpet that had seen better days. But a working window air conditioner. The bathroom was large and had obviously been redone. There were four white towels, a bit thin but clean and serviceable. Exactly what he expected to find for thirty-nine dollars a night.
“After you,” he told Lilly, gesturing toward the bathroom. “I don’t know about you, but a hot shower would feel really good right now.”
Though she dipped her chin to acknowledge him, she didn’t comment. Instead, carrying her overnight bag, she brushed past him and closed the bathroom door behind her. A moment later, he heard the shower start. When he did, something that had been clenched inside of him relaxed. Odd, but he hadn’t even realized he’d been so tense.
He took to roaming the room, stopping occasionally at the single window and peering out through the middle of the closed curtains. Not that he expected to see anything—he was 100 percent certain they hadn’t been followed—but old habits were hard to break. Plus, during his twice-yearly stints working for the Protectors, he’d come to appreciate the value of being overly vigilant.
The shower cut off, drawing his attention to the closed bathroom door. Though he knew it might be a bit of a cliché, he was a man and couldn’t help but picture her reaching for a towel, her pale and creamy skin glistening with water.
A few minutes later, she emerged, a towel piled high on her head. Her long legs were bare under a soft black T-shirt that skimmed her knees. She barely glanced at him, claiming the bed farthest from the door. He watched her pull the ugly, patterned bedspread down and fold it neatly, before she slid under the worn sheets.
“Here,” he said, tossing the television remote on the bed near her. “I’ll just be a few minutes.”
Still keeping her profile averted, she ignored him.
Since he could well understand her nerves, he moved past her, careful to act as if everything was perfectly ordinary. He hoped she’d be able to relax once he closed himself in the bathroom. Maybe find something banal on television to help lull herself back to sleep.
The hot, as close to scalding as he could stand, shower improved his mood 100 percent. He dried off, dressing in loose gym shorts and an old T-shirt even though he preferred to sleep naked. After brushing his teeth, he opened the door, listening for the sound of the TV. Instead, only silence greeted him. Not completely unsurprised, he saw she hadn’t turned it on. Instead, she lay curled into a ball, her long lashes fanning the curve of her cheek. She didn’t move as he quietly approached her, though he could tell from the uneven rise and fall of her chest that she only pretended sleep. Even so, she was still the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
Then, while he stood drinking in the sight of her, she began trembling. A horrible, violent shivering, reminding him where she’d been and what a man looming over her bed most likely meant to her.
Horrified, he stepped back. His inner wolf snarled, evidently unsettled by the sudden, sharp ache just below his heart. Moving carefully, he crossed over to his own bed and pulled back the covers. A quick glance over his shoulder at her revealed her shaking hadn’t abated in the slightest. Poor Lilly was clearly terrified.
His chest tight, he considered his options. Deciding, he snagged his car keys from the dresser. “Be right back,” he murmured, even though he knew she wouldn’t acknowledge his words.
Unlocking his car, he reached into the backseat and retrieved his battered guitar case. While he was out there, he did a quick scope of the parking lot, reassured by the emptiness of the well-lit area. Even the highway seemed quiet. Not a lot of activity on I-90 near Billings at night.
Back inside the room, he bolted the door behind him. Lilly continued to lie in the same position, her slender body still wracked by shudders. Cursing under his breath, he sat down on the edge of his bed and fumbled with the latches on his case, careful not to look too long at her.
Once he had the old acoustic guitar out, he considered. He needed something soothing, not the rollicking bluesy-country music he generally favored. His entire family played one instrument or another. One of the first things he’d learned on the guitar was the old Beatles song “Let It Be.” Perfect.
She gave a reflexive jerk of her shoulders when he strummed the first chord. Ignoring this, he continued softly playing, singing the words in his low voice. While he sang, his wolf tried to sense hers. So far, even though such a thing was common among Shape-shifters, he hadn’t been able to do this with her, not even the most minute fraction of contact. Kane couldn’t understand why her wolf seemed to be locked away most of the time, though he guessed this was the result of the torture and experiments she’d suffered while locked away in the basement of Sanctuary. He had hopes that eventually, with the passage of time, she’d be able to return to a semblance of normalcy.
So he continued to play music for her, and for her wolf. He’d learned music not only calmed the savage beast, but provided a soothing balm to troubled souls.
Gradually, her trembling appeared to lessen. Encouraged, he began another song. This time the old Bob Dylan tune “Blowing in the Wind.” Though several artists had done covers of this song, in Kane’s head he always heard Bob Dylan’s gravelly voice. Kane knew all the words to this one, too, and he sang with his heart, quietly paying homage to a beautiful woman who should never have had to endure what she had.
Midway through this second song, Lilly opened her eyes. She turned her head and, after a moment of silent scrutiny, she pushed up on one elbow to watch him.
Progress. He barely managed to suppress an encouraging smile. Instead, pretending not to notice, he launched into some old Judy Collins, refusing to reflect on how every soothing song he could think of was from four or five decades ago. What could he say? He’d always liked oldies.
Once the last notes of the music died away, he placed the guitar on the chair next to his bed. “Good night,” he told her, inclining his head in a sort of salute before reaching up and quickly extinguishing the light.
As he lay in the darkness, his heart inexplicably pounding in his chest, with his wolf wanting to howl mournfully, he listened. The faint sounds of the nearby interstate were muted, and the rest of the motel was quiet. But these things barely registered in his consciousness, because he attuned every fiber of his being to hearing her.
At first, there was nothing, as if she was frozen in place. But then Lilly must have accepted the need to sleep or resigned herself to the inevitable. He heard the slight rustle of her sheets as she tried to make herself comfortable, the soft sigh that escaped her lips. And finally, her breathing slowed, became even and deep.
The tightness eased in his chest. She’d fallen asleep. Why he should feel as if he’d accomplished a victory, he couldn’t say. This drive would take four long days, with three overnight stops. They’d made it through the first. He could only hope the next two would be easier for her.
Eventually, he drifted into a restless slumber of his own.
* * *
Lilly came awake sometime in the dark of the night. As was her habit, she held herself utterly still while she gathered her bearings. The even breathing of the man in the bed next to her told her he was out, safely locked in the throes of REM sleep.
Kane. He looked like a fallen angel, or at least how she’d always pictured them when her father had ranted. Maybe not Lucifer, but one of the others caught in the fallout. She thought this because she detected no malice in those amazing silver eyes of his.
Everything about him affected her. Her experience outside of Sanctuary was too small for her to know why. She couldn’t understand her reaction toward him. Lucas had told her she could trust him, and she took what her twin brother told her as gospel. But the effect Kane had on her wasn’t like fear. He exerted some kind of magnetic pull on her, the way a candle attracts a moth. She wasn’t sure what it was exactly. An odd combination of trepidation and fascination, maybe. The latter worried her.
Of course, it seemed as if everything made her anxious these days—ever since gaining her freedom, something she’d once hoped for but had given up on. Now she wished for normalcy, to understand how to interact with others without the crippling sense of trepidation. Lucas had said she needed to be patient, to give it time.
But she couldn’t lie, not to herself. She suspected that the fear would always be with her. Even in Lucas’s home, she couldn’t control her immediate reaction if someone inadvertently startled her. The first few times that she’d dropped into a feral crouch and bared her teeth had been humiliating, to say the least. She’d just begun to try to train herself to relax when Kane had shown up and she’d learned she’d have to travel.
Among the many things she was working on was trying to blur her memory of the years of her captivity. Sometimes, she held out hope that she could be successful, but then the dreams would come and she’d wake panicked, believing herself to be still shackled to a bed, a helpless prisoner while nameless people shoved needles into her or hooked her up to machines that brought nothing but pain.
At such times, she’d learned the trick of leaving her body, a sort of disassociation that allowed her to travel far, far away. It was this ability, she now knew, that had enabled her to hang on to the last shreds of her sanity.
Had this been a good thing? Often, she found herself wondering. She certainly hadn’t expected life after captivity to be so painful. Sometimes she thought life might have been easier if she was mindless and drooling.
Pushing aside her dark thoughts, she wondered what the followers of Jacob Gideon and his church of Sanctuary found so valuable about her that would make them continue to hunt her. As far as she knew, none of the multitude of experiments they’d performed on her had been even remotely successful.
The man in the bed next to her, Kane, made a sound, low in his throat. More like a growl than a snore, even though she knew he was still deeply asleep. She wondered if he knew she sensed his wolf and how much such a thing terrified her. The only other wolf she’d ever been able to be aware of was her twin brother’s. And even that had been before the man who’d called himself their father had discovered that they were abominations.
His music... She smiled to herself in the darkness. She’d never heard anything like it—or hadn’t in at least fifteen years. The thing inside her, the abomination, had actually gone quiet for once.
Should she tell Kane this? Or would doing so somehow give him a weapon to use against her?
Trust, no matter what her brother said, had to be earned. As of yet, she trusted no one. Least of all herself. Unable to sleep, she lay awake waiting for sunrise, listening for any sounds that might mean danger had found her.
Once the sky began to lighten and Kane began to stir, she sat up, pushed back the sheets and padded to the bathroom, where she brushed her teeth and got dressed. When she returned, Kane sat on the edge of his bed with the television on. Some sort of daybreak news show played.
“Mornin’,” he drawled, the kindness of his smile making her feel warm all over. Struck speechless, she could only dip her chin in a nod.
He didn’t seem to notice. “My turn.” Pushing off from the bed, he headed for the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
With nothing to do but wait, Lilly sat down to watch the television. A commercial about laundry detergent wrapped up, and then the perky woman anchor appeared, her hot-pink suit matching her bright voice.
“Breaking news,” she exclaimed. “Police in Maine have rescued two women who have been held captive for twelve years. This is eerily similar to the case in Ohio, where two girls were abducted as teens and held for ten years.”
Lilly froze. There were others like her? As the women’s photos appeared on the screen, first the older ones from Missing posters showing them as teens, and then shots of them as they emerged from the house that had been their prison, she wrapped her arms around her waist and her eyes filled with tears. She knew these women, not personally but in spirit. In their sad gazes, the tightness around their mouths, and the way they walked, shoulders rounded as if they expected a blow, she recognized herself.
She barely heard Kane emerge from the bathroom. Engrossed in the story, she didn’t look up. Nor did she make a move to wipe away the tears streaming down her face.
“What’s wrong?” He sounded alarmed. When she didn’t respond, he dropped down onto the bed next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. “Lilly?”
Gathering her shredded composure, and überconscious of his arm, she gestured at the TV, where they were wrapping up the segment. Then she whispered, “Those women were held captive for twelve years. And they mentioned there were others, held somewhere else for ten.”
“Yes.” He hugged her. She wasn’t sure whether to stiffen, push him away or simply accept the comfort he offered. In the end, she stayed where she was.
“You’re not alone,” he continued.
Enough of this wallowing in emotion. “They told me that in therapy.” Pushing to her feet, she swiped the back of her hand across her wet face. “Are you about ready to go?”
Watching her carefully, he nodded.
“Give me just a minute.” And she hurried to the bathroom, where she blew her nose, splashed some cold water on her face and shook her head at her image in the mirror.
They ran through a drive-through and grabbed breakfast sandwiches and coffee. In a few minutes they were back on I-90, heading east. Something about the motion of the car made her sleepy, and she accepted this as a gift. When she opened her eyes again, she saw several hours had passed. They stopped for lunch and this time when they got back on the road, she felt jittery and wide-awake.
Noticing this, Kane turned down the radio. Stomach sinking, Lilly glanced sideways at him. He was going to ask questions. She recognized the signs.
“You know, I’ll never forget when we found you,” Kane said. “All those years, with both you and Lucas believing the other one dead.”
She nodded. Lucas was the only one with whom she’d spoken honestly. As twins, their emotions usually were mirror images of each other’s. But Kane had been kind to her and he was her brother’s friend. Trying like hell to calm her jangled nerves, she took a deep breath and braced herself for his curiosity.
“Seeing my brother was the highlight of my life,” she told him honestly. “At first, I thought I was dreaming. I’d carried the knowledge of his death for so many years.”
“What was it like?” Kane asked, his casual tone not fooling her one bit. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I can’t imagine.... It must have been pretty awful.”
“Awful doesn’t begin to describe it.” She gave a rueful smile, settling back in her seat and folding her hands in her lap. This, discussing her captivity, was something she’d actually grown accustomed to. After all, she’d been dutifully attending therapy sessions twice a week ever since she’d gotten out of the hospital. And before that, she’d had to tell her story numerous times to the police, the FBI and the media.
She had gotten quite adept at giving details without revealing any of her inner turmoil.
Glancing at the large man behind the steering wheel, she launched into the standard, memorized description she’d given so many times before.
“You saw where he kept me,” she said, grimacing. “Dark, cold, isolated. Exactly where demons should be kept, according to him. Sometimes I was left alone for days at a time. They fed me just enough to keep me alive. I craved water more than food, maybe because that was doled out sporadically. I had a large bucket to use as my bathroom. It was rarely emptied and stank, but after a while I didn’t even notice the smell.”
Rote stuff. She’d said it a hundred times in exactly the same way. Usually, it was enough. She raised her eyes to find him watching her. The observant look in his narrowed gaze told her for him, it wasn’t. Somehow, he knew.
Such a look... The sharpness of it might have stripped another woman naked. But Lilly had been through much worse. Though the slightly guilty pang she felt inside surprised her. She didn’t care what he thought. Or she shouldn’t. It was all so puzzling.
Confusion exhausted her. Instead of continuing, she closed her eyes and tried to pretend he wasn’t making her remember, making her hurt. In fact, she tried to act as if he didn’t exist.
“Are you okay?” The gentle tone in his whiskey voice made her insides quiver.
“Yes.” Short answer, total untruth. Keeping her eyes closed, she averted her profile, hoping he’d take the hint.
“If you don’t want to discuss it, that’s fine,” he said. “But don’t feed me all that bullshit you rehearsed for the press. I saw the interviews. I read the news magazine reports. If I could find one right now, it’d probably show you parroting the same exact thing you said then. Why is that?”
Was that anger vibrating under his words? She took a moment, mulling over the fact that she felt no fear, instead a sort of baffled curiosity.
She understood what he was saying, even if it made absolutely no sense. Kane barely knew her. Why did he want so badly to know the inner her? She’d shared that with no one, including her own twin brother. Though she suspected Lucas had a good idea, not only since they were so much alike, but because he too had briefly suffered at the hands of their father.
At her lack of response, he gave a slow shake of his head. “If you don’t want to talk about it, all you have to do is say so.”
Clenching her teeth, she swallowed. “I. Don’t. Want. To. Talk. About. It.”
“Fine.” His jaw appeared as tight as hers. “Let me know if you need anything.” And before she could even consider replying, he turned up the radio and began singing along to the music, some country-western song about something called a redneck.
Mystified, she turned away and faced the window. She decided to practice her deep breathing, something her last therapist claimed would help calm her but which hadn’t worked so far. To her complete amazement, with Kane singing happily in the background, this time she felt tranquility washing over her. But it had nothing to do with her breaths and everything to do with Kane’s deep, melodic voice. The night before, she’d thought it was the guitar, but she realized now she’d been wrong. The instrument was only part of it. The rest was him. Something about the way he sang reached deep inside her, into her bones and her blood.
Chapter 3
Foolishness. Or so Lilly quickly told herself. That didn’t stop her from enjoying the respite from the constant buzz of trepidation that usually swirled inside her, mingling with the fear. Abstractly, she knew she wasn’t supposed to be so uneasy, but the queasy feeling that there was danger all around her persisted. She didn’t know how to stop it. Therapy was supposed to help, but it hadn’t.
In fact, she could count on the fingers of one hand the moments of calm since she’d been freed from captivity. Last night and right now—this was huge. Allowing herself a small smile while making sure Kane couldn’t see, she sighed. She closed her eyes and let herself slide into sleep.
She’d slept a little, and then they’d stopped for lunch and stretched their legs, and gotten right back on the road. They didn’t talk much, which to her surprise felt comfortable.
That night, they stopped in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. When he pulled into the small motel’s parking lot, asking her to wait in the car while he got them a room, anticipation filled her rather than dread. Because later, surely he’d sing. Stunned, she realized she craved this, the same way she’d once craved water.
After checking into their room, which oddly bore a close resemblance to the previous one, Kane suggested they walk across the parking lot to the small, brightly lit café.
“Okay.” She didn’t even have to consider her answer. The fast-food they’d consumed hours ago for lunch had long since been digested and she felt hollow. Which meant she was hungry. Not a new sensation by any means, but her body had once been accustomed to being starved. Allowing herself to want food, to actually anticipate the flavor on her taste buds, was yet another thing that should have brought her happiness, but instead stressed her out. She couldn’t shake the certainty of believing if she allowed herself to enjoy one thing—anything—it would be promptly taken away from her. Conditioning, her shrink had said. Whatever it was, it was a part of her that she now hated.
He stayed close to her side as they crossed the well-lit motel lot into the café. The place was bright and crowded, and the scent of hamburgers cooking made her mouth water.
“Heaven,” she breathed, before realizing what she’d done and immediately trying to shut the instant of pleasure down.
“Don’t,” he said quietly, as if he understood. And then, shocking her, he took her hand. When he closed his large fingers firmly around hers, she struggled against a sharp stab of panic.
“I...” Tugging, she stopped when she saw the kindness in his eyes. “Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.” Instead of releasing her, he continued to hold on to her hand while they waited for the hostess to gather menus. As they followed the woman to their booth, Lilly wondered when Kane planned to let her go.
He released her when they reached their seats, sliding into the booth on the side facing the door. Studying him, she thought he appeared relaxed. Which was good, as that would mean they weren’t in any immediate danger.
She wished she could relax, as well.
“Are you always so jumpy?”
As if to underscore his comment, she started at his words. “Yes,” she answered, refusing to sugarcoat it. “As I’m sure you noticed, I’m pretty messed up.”
“That’s understandable.” No censure, only compassion in that wonderful, rich voice of his. He opened his menu, to her relief. “What are you in the mood for?”
“A burger,” she blurted, her mouth starting to water, “and fries.”
He nodded. “Sounds good. I’ll have the same.”
With a start, she realized the waitress stood nearby, ready to take their orders. Lilly’d been too lost in her thoughts to notice.
“And two milkshakes,” Kane continued, handing the menus back.
“What flavor?” the waitress asked.
Kane’s silver eyes met Lilly’s, causing a spark to flare low in her belly. “Are you a chocolate or vanilla person?”
“Do you have banana?” she blurted, forcing herself to meet the waitress’s gaze.
“Yep.”
“I’d like that.”
“We’ll take two,” Kane seconded, grinning so broadly Lilly wondered if she’d made some sort of public mistake.
Once the waitress moved away, Kane reached across the table and lightly touched her cheek, pretending not to notice when she flinched. “You know what you want,” he said, his tone vibrating with praise. “I like that.”
To her befuddled amazement, she felt her face heat at the compliment. “Thanks.”
When their food arrived along with the milkshakes, huge burgers next to a mound of crispy fries that looked every bit as good as they smelled, she froze. After shooting Kane a quick glance, she snatched hers up and sank her teeth into it. The flavor exploded in her mouth, making her hum with pleasure.
Half the thing was gone before she realized it. Glancing at Kane, she saw he watched her while he ate his own, much more slowly. Sheepishly, she put her burger down and made herself take some of her fries.
“You look like you’re enjoying that,” he said, smiling.
“I am.” Careful not to talk with her mouth full, she took a long drink of her shake, almost purring out loud at the sweet banana deliciousness as it slid down her throat.
He laughed, a sound of genuine pleasure. “I take it you like your milkshake, too.”
She nodded, swallowing one last sip before answering. “This is great.” Looking up, she met his laughing gaze. With a sense of shock, she realized Kane was damn near beautiful when he smiled. The thought made her full stomach hurt. Careful to look away, she tried to think of something else.
As seemed to be his wont, Kane came to the rescue. “Didn’t Lucas feed you back there in Seattle?”
“He did.” She tried to think of a diplomatic way to explain. Since there was none, she went ahead and told the truth. “Food is another one of my...neuroses. I have a lot. Too many to count, actually.” Her lame attempt at a joke fell flat. Once again, she felt her face color.
When he didn’t respond, she glanced up at him. He appeared to be engrossed in devouring the remains of his meal. With a feeling of relief, she did the same.
After they’d finished, Lilly declined dessert, even though the apple pie the waitress mentioned made her mouth water again. Amusement flickering in his eyes, Kane asked for the check. As they got up to leave, she half expected him to reach for her hand again. When he didn’t, she marveled at her feeling of disappointment.
Still, full and sated, she noticed an unusual lightness in her steps as they walked side by side to the motel.
Back in the room, as soon as he closed the door, the familiar uneasiness swept over her. She knew she should try to fight it. After all, they’d spent two days driving in the car together. Intellectually, she knew he meant her no harm, but some kind of rationality based on past experience made terror grab her by the throat and refuse to let go. Paralyzed, she tried to regain control, to push back the dizziness, to slow her rapid heartbeat.
Deep breathing, deep breathing. She would be strong. She was strong. Purposefully avoiding looking at the bed, where she longed to crawl under the covers and curl into a protective ball, she headed for the bathroom and a hot shower.
When she emerged, instead of sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for her, Kane had stretched out, still fully dressed, and fallen asleep. Padding over on her bare feet, she studied his strong profile. Even asleep, she saw the inherent strength in his hawklike features. Emboldened, she let her gaze travel over the rest of him, his impossibly long, black lashes, high cheekbones, and firm yet sensual lips. An unfamiliar warmth began inside her. He really was dangerously beautiful. Tendrils of his thick dark hair curled on his tanned forehead, and his broad shoulders and muscular arms made him look virile in his T-shirt. Even his bare arm silky with hairs and his long fingered hands fascinated her. The same way one would marvel at a great work of art, she told herself. Nothing more.
Sleep had muted the air of isolation she’d sensed in him and identified with, making him appear unexpectedly vulnerable. If not for the power she sensed coiled within him, making his aura pulse with potent masculinity, that is.
Aching to touch the heat emanating from his flesh, she cleared her throat instead. Oddly enough, she felt more at risk now than she did when he was awake with his quiet confidence filling the room.
At the sound, he opened his eyes. His silver gaze locked on hers, making her catch her breath.
“All done?” he asked, sitting up. Momentarily struck dumb, she nodded.
“Great.” Pushing himself off the bed, he smiled at her. “I’ll only be a minute or two. Go ahead and sleep if you want.”
An instant of panic clawed at her. Unreasonable, but still... “Will you,” she began, trying to bring the words up a suddenly tight throat. “Will you play and sing again tonight?”
He went so still she wondered if she’d offended him. But his expression appeared neutral when he looked her way. “Do you want me to?”
Nodding, she glanced down, aware she’d begun twisting her hands together. “I would like that,” she managed.
“Then I will.” His easy tone made her think he hadn’t noticed her uneasiness. But then she was coming to realize he pretended not to notice a lot of her weirdness in order to put her at ease.
“But first, I want a shower.” Turning, he headed toward the bathroom.
“Thank you,” she said, right when he closed the door behind him. She wasn’t sure he’d heard her, but at least she’d tried.
Carefully she removed the bedspread, folding it neatly at the end of the bed. Then, peeling back the sheets, she slipped in between them, trying to lie on her back, propped up with a pillow, or on her side, stretched out like normal people. In the end, she gave up and curled up into her usual, comforting ball and lay inflexible and rigid.
She’d give anything to have the ability to drift off to sleep. Just close her eyes, and let herself get carried away to the land of dreams. Instead, she lay absolutely still, her heartbeat fast, her mind racing.
Though she’d tried to school herself against it, she stiffened the instant the door opened. Keeping her eyes closed, she felt his presence fill the room. Damn it. No reason for fear, no reason at all. But helpless against instinct, she couldn’t stop the dread from filling her. A few minutes later, the familiar shivers started. Clenching her jaw, she tried to keep her teeth from chattering.
“It’s okay,” he said, his deep voice calm and sure. “I’ll get my guitar. Just a minute.” She heard the sound of him unlocking the dead bolt, then the door opened and closed as he went outside.
Her jaw began to ache as she waited.
After what seemed like an eternity, but in reality was probably only a moment, he returned. Eyes still closed, she held herself rigid, hating that she felt so tense. She listened as he moved around the room, heard the click of the fasteners as he opened his guitar case, the rustle and creak of the bed next to her as he settled on it. She could barely contain her impatience.
And then finally, he strummed the guitar. As the soft notes filled the room, she loosened her iron grip on herself, letting them pull some of the tension from her. When he sang, his husky voice low and sensual, and just exactly right, she heaved a great sigh, willing herself to become unknotted.
One song ended—she wasn’t even sure of the words—and he began another. As the music filled her, releasing her from the iron grip of her damaged psyche, she smiled. Muttering a slurred thank-you, she let herself fall toward the blessed oblivion of sleep.
* * *
Kane kept playing, long after he’d watched Lilly fall into slumber. Though exhaustion made him unsteady, he knew he had to keep playing or he might do something he’d regret. Like touch her.
Hell, the aching need to lay a hand on her had only intensified the longer he was around her. Only the certain knowledge of how badly such a thing would freak her out kept him from giving in to the craving. He’d been surprised as hell when she’d let him hold her hand earlier. And pleased, more than he should have been.
Four songs in, as the last notes died away, he made himself stop. Moving slowly, his body uncomfortable and aching, he returned the guitar to its case. He then went to bed, hoping he could get to sleep. He had another full day of driving tomorrow.
When he opened his eyes again, the grayish light told him dawn had nearly arrived. He sat up, glancing over at Lilly, who still slept. Heading toward the shower, he braced himself for yet another long day of driving. South Bend, Indiana, here we come.
Though this was only their second morning together, Kane considered it odd the way he and Lilly seemed to have developed a routine. In less than forty-five minutes, they were on the road, both having showered and dressed. After running through a drive-through for breakfast, they hit the highway. Once again, Lilly was silent, so he again located a country-music radio station and turned up the volume.
Several hours later, fueled by two large coffees, he debated trying again to engage her in conversation. She was a quiet little thing, though her slender, wild beauty lit up the interior of his car. He knew she had no idea of her impact on him, though everything about her fascinated him, from the apricot cream of her soft skin to the long lashes framing her clear blue eyes. He struggled against the temptation to taste her lush mouth, to tangle his fingers in her careless tumble of thick, honey-gold hair.
Even the first time he’d seen her, emaciated and filthy, huddled on a cold stone floor with nothing but rags to keep her warm, he’d seen the light of her beauty shining through her damaged exterior. For the first time in his life, he’d wanted to kill another human being, to find the one who had done this to her and wrap his fingers around his throat.
Since he couldn’t, he’d managed to hold himself in check. The bastard, one Jacob Gideon, a prominent religious leader of a church called Sanctuary, had been arrested. The worst part of it was that Lilly’d believed Jacob to be her father. It’d turned out Jacob had killed her parents back when she and Lucas had been infants.
Shaking off his thoughts, he focused on the road. When she finally spoke, he nearly missed it.
“What’s your story?” Her soft-voiced question had him hurrying to turn down the radio. “How’d you get into the bodyguard business?”
He couldn’t help but smile at her description. “I’m actually a veterinarian. I work at a veterinary clinic in Fort Worth. I also work for The Society of Pack Protectors.”
To his amazement, she smiled back, making an ember smolder inside him. “Lucas told me about the Protectors. They...you helped free me and the others from Sanctuary. He said you’re sworn to keep safe others of our kind. Shape-shifters.”
Since he knew she’d believed her and her brother to be freaks of nature and hadn’t realized there were others, her calm acceptance now made him make a mental note to call Lucas and thank him for teaching his sister so much in such a short period of time. At least she knew some of her heritage.
“Exactly. The Protectors recruited me when I was still in high school. They paid a full scholarship to Texas A&M University and then to the veterinary program. In exchange, I have to work for them a few times a year. It’s similar to the military reserves here in the United States.”
“And you just finished up working undercover at Sanctuary.” She glanced sideways at him. “Since you’re an animal doctor, then how are you able to do this for Lucas?”
“And you,” he added softly. “I took a leave of absence, the same way I always do when I go work for the Protectors.”
She nodded and turned to look out the window.
By the time they made South Bend, he had to force himself to stay awake. Aware of the danger, he took the first exit with a motel sign and pulled in and parked in front of the dingy window with the red, neon vacancy sign.
Half turning in his seat, he dragged his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, but I’m beat.”
She nodded without looking at him.
“Wait here.” Getting out, he went inside the office and procured them a room.
Which turned out to be yet another carbon copy of the previous two.
Dropping his gear on the floor, he didn’t even have the energy to hit the shower. “You go ahead,” he told her, lying back on to the bed and closing his eyes. “I’ll take mine in the morning.”
That was his last conscious thought before sleep claimed him.
* * *
Overnight bag still in hand, Lilly stood and watched as Kane dropped off into a deep sleep. She felt a flare of panic that he hadn’t even brought his guitar case inside.
She shook her head at her own weakness and took her bag with her into the bathroom. She made the water piping hot, and took her time, trying to summon up the courage to let Kane sleep undisturbed. The poor man obviously needed his rest. He’d been driving for a solid three days, and since she didn’t know how to drive she couldn’t even spell him.
But though she knew her thoughts were selfish, she couldn’t help but wonder what kind of a night she’d have, alone with him in a small hotel room, without even his music to soothe her. Telling herself to stop thinking of herself, she toweled off and put on her soft sleep T-shirt.
When she emerged into the room, Kane’s deep, even breaths told her he was still deeply asleep. She moved quietly, went through her familiar routine of folding the bedspread and slipped into the still tucked sheets. Only once she had, she realized she’d forgotten to put out the light. On her way to do so, she once again found herself entranced by Kane. A sudden image of what it would feel like to slide into his bed next to him, wrapping herself around him, made her gasp in shock and confusion.
What the... Staggering back, she managed to click off the light and hightail it back to her own bed.
Once there, she curled up in her familiar ball, but couldn’t relax enough to get comfortable. Again she briefly considered waking Kane up and asking him to sing to her, but she hadn’t the heart. So far, he’d been nothing but accommodating to her. She couldn’t be such a selfish person to keep such a man from his well-deserved rest.
If she didn’t manage to get to sleep tonight, she always had the car during the drive tomorrow. He’d promised it would be their last day of driving. And then they’d be... Grimacing, she realized she didn’t even know their destination. She told herself she needed to be more proactive, to take charge of her own destiny, or at least try.
And with that thought, somehow she must have fallen asleep, because when she next opened her eyes, it was morning. Kane’s bed was empty. Sitting up, she heard the sound of a shower going and smiled.
She’d done it. Gone to sleep alone in a room with a strange man, who wasn’t really a stranger anymore. Still... Baby steps, as her therapist had been fond of saying.
He gave her a curious look when he emerged from his shower, his dark hair still damp. She smiled at him, which appeared to shock him, since he froze, though he didn’t speak as she continued past him. Her smile held, even as she disappeared into the still-steamy bathroom.
When she came out, dressed and ready, he’d taken a seat in the chair by the door. “I’ve already loaded the car and turned in the key.”
Though she wondered at the impersonal tone to his voice, she simply nodded.
As usual, they got breakfast on the road. She waited until they’d both finished eating their egg sandwiches, turning the questions she wanted to ask around and around in her mind. For the past two days, she’d been wanting to ask, but hadn’t summoned the energy or the nerve. Finally, with her usual lack of finesse, she just blurted out the first one. “Where are we going?”
Kane’s smile told her he approved of her curiosity. “Leaning Tree, New York. It’s upstate, in the Catskill mountains. My entire family lives there.”
“Your family?” She hadn’t anticipated having to meet anyone else. Somehow she’d thought Kane was taking her to some sort of remote safe house where she’d live alone with him until it was safe to return home.
“Yep. Both my parents, two brothers and a sister, along with their respective spouses and a bunch of nieces and nephews.” He said this so cheerfully she could tell he expected her to greet this news with enthusiasm.
Damned if she didn’t hate to let him down. But she had no choice—she could barely master her own emotions yet, never mind try to summon up fake ones.
“Are we...” Licking her lips nervously, she tried to sound upbeat. “Are we going to be living with them?” Which would be close to a nightmare as far as she was concerned.
“Sort of.” Then, apparently noticing her crestfallen expression, he reached over and lightly squeezed her shoulder. “Don’t worry, you’ll still have your privacy.”
Though she didn’t see how, she didn’t pursue the questions any further. In fact, she wished she’d never asked. Now that she knew, her anxiety had rocketed sky-high.
She couldn’t imagine what Kane’s family, his no-doubt nice, normal family, would make of her, so clearly damaged and one short step away from crazy.
“Are you sure you want to impose on them?” she hesitantly asked. “Maybe we should find alternative lodging.”
He laughed. “They’d never forgive me if I did that. I haven’t been home in three years or more. Work got crazy and somehow I never made it. I owe them a nice long visit.”
Crud. Settling back in her seat, she swallowed the huge lump in her throat and tried again to concentrate on her breathing.
“Hey.” His voice softened. “My father owns a motel. It’s actually more of an old-fashioned motor court. There are separate cabins. I’ve asked to use the most remote one. It’s on the other side of a meadow and small lake. I promise, you won’t be crowded in with anyone.”
She nodded, wishing she could quiet the roiling turmoil inside her. Squaring her shoulders, she tried to reach inside her, to that dark, violent and often empty space, hoping she might find strength. Once or twice, she actually had, but that was years ago. Lucas and Blythe had talked often about their inner wolves, but Lilly was pretty sure hers had gone mad a long time ago. One thing she knew for sure, she could no longer touch her inner beast. Her father had believed this meant she’d conquered the demon he claimed lived inside her.
She knew better. The demon waited, crazed and hungry, ready to devour her the instant she gave it a chance.
“I’ve never seen anything like your aura,” he said. “Just now it went from black to gray, then swirls of purple started exploding, like fireworks. It’s unreal.”
Yet one more thing different about her. Sometimes she couldn’t help but believe Jacob Gideon had been right. She wasn’t normal, nor would she ever be. A few times she had actually considered the possibility she might be better off dead.
“My aura?” Again she said the first thing that came to mind. “I can’t see it, though Lucas told me it was...special. Can everyone see their own?”
From his crestfallen expression, he seemed to realize he’d hurt her. “I meant no offense. I’m sorry.”
Lifting her shoulder in a casual shrug cost her more than he’d ever know. “None taken.” She swallowed, steeling herself to meet his gaze. “Please, I’d really like to know. Can you see your own aura?”
“No.” He held her gaze for a second, and then turned his attention back to the road. “We can only see each others’. Oh, every now and then, if I’m walking by a mirror, I might catch a glimpse of the light surrounding me, but when I look full-on, it’s gone.”
Frustrated, she nodded. “That’s what I thought.” Once again, she glanced his way. “Yours looks a lot like Lucas’s. I figured mine looked more like Blythe’s. I’m guessing it doesn’t.”
A shadow crossed his face. Though she hadn’t exactly asked a question, she’d been hoping for confirmation. Blythe’s aura was gorgeous, bright and golden, exactly like her. In the short time Lilly had gotten to know her, she’d come to see the woman her twin brother loved with all his heart was beautiful both inside and out.
From the way everyone reacted to Lilly’s aura, she guessed now her own must be dark and twisted, full of holes and ugly mashes of color, like the ones inside her head.
Just like that, her faintly hopeful mood evaporated, and a crushing sense of doom settled down on her. Since these feelings frequently descended on her for no rhyme or reason, she knew there was no way to dissipate the blackness of her mood. She had to ride it out.
Turning her head away from Kane, she closed her eyes and waited for him to turn up the radio. When he didn’t, she reached out and did it herself.
* * *
Kane saw the first billboard when they were still thirty miles out from Leaning Tree. “Wolf Hollow Motor Court Resort, only thirty miles to paradise!” the sign proclaimed, along with a picture of a wild wolf howling at a full moon. Years ago, Kane’s father had decided to adopt an advertising strategy of using six billboards, five miles apart. Since the slogans never changed, Kane could recite all six of them from memory, even though he hadn’t been home in three years.
Lilly stirred in her seat, opening her eyes and leaning forward. “Do you feel that?” she asked, her low voice thrumming with emotion.
Kane went absolutely still, using both his human senses and his wolf. “No,” he finally said, regretful. “What was it?”
She settled back in her seat, shaking her head. “A feeling...intuition...I don’t know. Never mind. It was probably just my imagination.”
But he could tell it hadn’t been, not to her. Absurdly, he felt as if he’d let her down. “You’ve been asleep awhile. We’re almost there.”
Now she looked at him full-on, her blue eyes clear and wide-awake. “We made it here without any trouble.”
“Yes.” Entranced, he wondered if it was possible to drown in her gaze.
“No one followed us or tried to intercept us. I think it’s possible my brother was worried for nothing.”
Glad of the distraction, he dragged his gaze away from hers and flashed a grim smile. “No. All this means is we got away without them realizing it. Once they know you’re gone, they’ll be searching all over for you.”
Her vivid gaze didn’t waver. “Do you think they’ll find me?”
“Not yet.” At the stark fear flashing across her features, he almost swore, though at the last minute he bit back the words. “Bad choice of words. I don’t think they’ll find us. Not here.”
“That’s not what you said.” Cocking her head, she made a face, evidently downplaying her own fear. “But you think eventually they’ll track us down?”
He bit back a curse at his own carelessness. “It’s possible. Look, anything can happen. You know that. But it won’t be for a while, I promise. It’ll give us time to prepare.”
“Prepare how?”
Another billboard flashed into view. This time the wolf faced north, the direction they were heading.
Kane ignored it. “Lilly, in the time you spend with me, I’m going to teach you how to be strong, how to defend yourself. By the time we’re done in Leaning Tree, you should be prepared to take on any comer.”
Chapter 4
He’d surprised her, Kane realized. Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth, though no sound came out. He’d wondered how she’d react. Now, he was about to find out. What she said next stunned him.
“Good.” Her lush lips twisted in a semblance of a smile. “I don’t ever want to be a victim again. I’d like that. Very much.”
They were approaching another sign. “Look,” he urged, pointing. “My father’s idea of a brilliant marketing plan.”
She read out loud as they drove past. “Wolf Hollow? Is he—” she waved her hand vaguely “—like us?”
Kane appreciated the way she now lumped herself in with him and other Shifters. Lucas had told him that at first she’d been so terrified of being associated with her own kind, she’d tried to deny their existence.
Apparently, in the month she’d lived with her brother, Lucas had managed to convince her that she wasn’t a monster. Good.
“Yes.” He smiled at her, hoping to take away some of the sting. “Both my parents are Shape-shifters. Most of the town is Pack.”
A tiny frown creased her forehead. “Seriously? There are that many of us?”
He wasn’t surprised Lucas hadn’t fully educated her. In her situation, it made no sense to deluge her with too much information. He decided to keep things light. He’d give her more info later, when she was ready for it.
“Yes, there are millions of us, scattered all over the world. We exist alongside humans, living the same sort of lives they do. We also organize ourselves into Packs, but on a much broader scale than our wild brethren. Similar to the government, we have a national Pack, state Packs and local city and county ones.”
She nodded, clearly unimpressed. “I suppose that’s a good thing.”
Unable to suppress a grin, he nodded. “It is.” He liked this about her, this faint edge of prickliness. Much better than the reclusive shell of a woman he’d half expected. After what she’d been through, he considered any signs of a fighting spirit a good thing.
When he’d seen her reaction to the news story about the other women who’d been held captive, he’d seen sorrow, but not righteous rage. Quite honestly, he would have preferred the second.
Still, she’d come a long way. And he planned to be around to help her go the distance.
They pulled into Leaning Tree as the sun was beginning to set. The time of the gloaming, he’d heard it described once. The place looked just the way it always did in his mind; not much had changed since he’d lived there as a child. Huge leafy oaks and maples spread their thick green branches over the buildings on Main Street, shops and restaurants and a small Dutch Reform church that had been built in the early 1700s and had been lovingly restored.
Unlike downtown areas of most small towns, in Leaning Tree, cars still filled the parking lots and pedestrians strolled on well-lit sidewalks. Outdoor cafés did a bustling business—they passed full tables under umbrellas with tiny white lights. The scene could have been a postcard or the cover of a travel brochure. In fact, he thought it probably was.
“It’s beautiful,” Lilly breathed. Her eyes glowed as she took in her first glimpse of the place where she’d be living for the next few months.
He couldn’t help himself; he grinned. After the flat, Texas landscape with its sparse trees, Leaning Tree looked like heaven.
“My family’s motel is on the other side of town,” he told her. “Part of it borders on New York State forest preserve land.”
And just like that, she shut down. He grimaced, aware that the mention of his family had made her nervous again.
In fact, once they’d driven through downtown and taken the turnoff, following more strategically placed signs to Wolf Hollow Motor Court, she withdrew even further.
Refusing to acknowledge her tension, he knew the only thing he could do was express his own anticipation at seeing his family again. But how? As a man unaccustomed to sharing his feelings, he wasn’t sure what to say.
In the end, he decided to go with the truth.
“Every time I come for a visit, my mother goes on a baking binge,” he confided. “She’s a great cook, and I can’t wait to see what she’s made. Her apple pie melts in your mouth and no one can make chocolate chip cookies the way she does.”
When Lilly turned to look at him, a reluctant gleam of interest flickered in her eyes. “Cookies?”
He nodded. “And pies, cakes and whatever else she feels like making. We usually have a huge family dinner. Since I haven’t been home in several years, I imagine she’s gone crazy with the cooking.”
At least Lilly’d stopped twisting her hands in her lap. “What’s your father like?”
“He’s like a big, gruff bear.” He smiled to take the sting off his words. “But a kindhearted bear.”
“I see.” Though she nodded, he could tell she had no idea what he meant.
“My sister and my brothers and their spouses will probably be there for a welcome-home dinner,” he told her, aware it would be better if she were prepared for a crowd. “They can be a bit...boisterous.”
She swallowed hard. “Do they have children?”
“Yes. I have three nephews and two nieces. They range in age from four to twelve.”
Her smile seemed less wobbly. “I like children.”
“Good.” The road changed from pavement to gravel. “Here we are. Right around this bend.”
They pulled up in front of the main house, a low-slung, stone-and-wood creation with lots of glass that his parents had designed and built over thirty years before. As he coasted to a stop and killed the ignition, the door opened and his family began to spill from inside.
As they surrounded the car, Lilly made a low sound. Seeing the terrified look in her eyes, he squeezed her shoulder before opening his door and climbing out. “I’ll fend them off and then we’ll introduce you, okay?”
He didn’t hear her answer in the chorus of glad cries that followed as he was engulfed by family. His mama wrapped her plump arms around him, squeezing happily while raining kisses on his cheeks. She still smelled the same, like gardenias. She wore her long, gray hair in the same neat braid.
His brothers chimed in, thumping him on the back in glad “guy hugs.” His dad, a bald giant of a man, stood back, watching with a happy grin as he waited for his turn. Kane had nearly made his way over to him when his sister, just emerging from inside, squealed and launched herself at him, hugging and laughing and babbling happy words of welcome.
Meanwhile, all the kids swarmed around, playing and yelling and doing the hundred loud and endearing and annoying things small children do. Finally, Kane’s father tired of waiting and moved toward him, enveloping him in a bear hug. The scent of pipe tobacco and spearmint tickled Kane’s nose. Home. Finally, he was home.
Turning, he took note of his guest. Through all this, Lilly sat quietly in the car, not moving, as if by being still, she hoped not to draw attention to herself. He could only imagine what she thought of the uncontrolled chaos outside the car.
Clearing his throat loudly, Kane gestured for silence. His family ignored him, too caught up in the joy of seeing him. Next he tried clapping his hands and asking them to calm down. Again, this had no result.
Finally, he put his fingers in his mouth and whistled as loudly and ear-piercingly as he could.
Everyone went silent.
“Thank you,” he said, pitching his voice so that everyone could hear him. “As I mentioned to Mom and Dad, I have a guest with me. She’s been through a lot.”
Jostling each other to get a look at the passenger side of the car, some of them starting talking. Kane glared at the offending teenagers, and they instantly stopped. “As I was saying, Lilly Gideon is here with me. She’s not used to the organized craziness of our family, so I need to ask you to give her a little bit of space. Can you do that?”
He thought his serious tone must have registered, because the younger family members looked at their feet. Of course his parents, siblings and their spouses all nodded solemnly.
“Thank you.” He felt all eyes on his back as she crossed to the passenger side of his car and opened the door.
Lilly’s wide blue eyes stared up at him.
“It’s okay,” he said, and held out his hand. “I won’t let anything happen to you. You’re safe with me.”
She barely hesitated before sliding her fingers into his.
Helping her out of the car as if she was royalty, he kept his body close to her side as they turned to face his assembled family.
“These heathens,” he said fondly. “Belong to me. Lilly, meet the McGraws.”
As she bravely attempted a smile, he watched in gratified amusement while his normally boisterous family mumbled subdued hellos.
Then, Lilly lifted her chin and murmured hello back.
The instant she spoke, his family’s tenuous grip on propriety shattered. Chattering all at once, the female members, young and old alike, surrounded Lilly, touching, patting, smoothing back her hair. Kane held on to her hand, and felt her suddenly go rigid. Still, he didn’t interfere—he wouldn’t unless she asked him. She’d have to get used to his family sooner or later. Might as well jump in the deep end and learn how to swim.
Of course, the gentle pressure of his fingers on hers let her knew he’d always be her life preserver. Always.
While the women made a fuss over Lilly, the masculine contingent regarded Kane with a mixture of awe and disbelief.
“She’s beautiful,” his brother Kyle said, cuffing him on the arm.
“Damn.” His other brother Kris breathed, barely taking his gray eyes off Lilly. “How’d you rate a woman like that?”
Kane’s father chuckled, rubbing his shiny bald head. “Boys, he already told you he brought her here to keep her safe. He’s her bodyguard, nothing more.”
As one, both of Kane’s younger brothers turned to look at their father, disbelief plain on their rugged faces. “You’re telling me you believe him?” they asked in unison.
The elder McGraw shrugged. “Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
Before Kane could respond, Lilly squeezed his hand, hard, letting him know she’d reached her limit of endurance.
Without hesitation, he turned away from his father and brothers and gently began moving his mother, sister, sisters-in-law and cousins aside. “Come on ladies, give her a little space. We’ve been driving for four long days and she’s exhausted. Let me take her to our cabin so she can rest up.”
Lilly shot him a grateful look before her long lashes swept down to hide her eyes.
“But you’ll still be coming tonight for dinner, won’t you?” his mother asked, self-consciously patting her long gray braid. Kane gave a reassuring nod. If he knew her, and he did, she’d spent the past ten hours cooking. His mouth watered at the thought.
“Here you go, son.” His dad tossed him a set of keys. “I had cabin nine made ready for you, just like you requested.”
Catching the keys, Kane grinned his thanks, then shepherded Lilly back into the car. Once he’d closed the door behind her, he crossed to the driver’s side. “See you later,” he said, lifting his hand in a wave.
Once he closed the door, cutting off the noise outside, he started the engine. “You all right?”
“Yes.” The wobbly answer told him she wasn’t, not exactly, but he knew she’d be fine.
“They mean well,” he told her.
“I know,” she said, her slight smile curving her lips surprising him. “And even though they’re Shifters, they don’t bite.”
A joke? Was she making a joke? Just in case she was, he grinned back at her.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“Our cabin. It’s the most isolated one, and also the most difficult to get to. There’s only one way in, at least by road.”
The gravel road crunched under their tires as they passed the first four rental cabins. Made of wood and surrounded by towering trees, these were clustered around a parklike garden, complete with wild rose bushes in vivid colors, a vine-covered arbor and a wood-and-metal bench. A stone wolf statue occupied a place of honor in the middle, as if it had been meant to be a shrine of sorts. At one time in his family’s long history of owning this land, Kane supposed it had been.
“That’s beautiful,” she breathed. He couldn’t tell if she meant the garden or the statue or both. Either way, though the land and the place glowed with earthen beauty, none of it could hold a candle to her.
“Yes,” he answered, his heart full. The road curved ahead of them, steadily climbing through the untamed forest. The next four wooden cabins sat in a semi-circle to the right, situated around a small, spring-fed lake. A doe and two fawns looked up at their approach and vanished into the woods.
At the sight, Kane’s inner wolf snarled, reminding him that soon they’d go hunting. Maybe even tonight after the big meal if they followed tradition. He’d have to make sure Lilly knew and offer her the choice to join them or retreat to their cabin.
“I’ve counted eight,” she said, leaning forward to peer into the forest. “How many are there?”
“Nine. Ours is my favorite. It sits up at the top of a rise in the land, with a pretty good view of the entire acreage.” Not to mention it was pretty damn near impossible to approach the cabin from any direction without being seen.
A slight frown creased her brow. “Exactly how isolated is it?”
“Not too far.” They climbed in earnest now. “We’re almost there.”
One more curve in the road, and the cabin came into view. Unlike the others, this was made of stone. Two giant oak trees sheltered it. “This one is older than the others,” he told her. “Originally, this was where my ancestors lived.”
Though she nodded, he didn’t tell her the significance of this. His entire family spoke of the power lingering in the ancient stones. In addition to being easily defensible, Kane had the vague hope that cabin nine might help Lilly heal.
They crested the hill, parking next to the covered porch. He killed the engine, pocketed the keys and climbed out. He’d made it halfway around the car, meaning to open her door, but she beat him to it. She unfolded her long and shapely legs and climbed out of his low-slung car. Stretching, she cocked her head and studied the house.
“I feel it again.”
He understood what she meant. “It’s a ley line. The strength of the earth, made manifest.”
A shadow crossed her pretty face. “Are you sure you don’t mean demons?”
Cursing the man who’d caused her to think something so natural was evil, he shook his head. “No. It’s good energy. Beneficial. Since our kind has such close ties to the earth and the sky and moon, we appreciate and honor such places of power.”
Holding utterly still, she considered his words. “Places? Are there more than one?”
“Yes.” Relaxing again, he took her arm and steered her up on the porch. “I’ve been lucky enough to feel several of them.”
Unlocking the door of the cabin, he flicked on the light switch. “After you. This will be our home for the next several weeks.”
Gliding past him, she inspected the interior, from the weathered wood of the old plank floors to the cast-iron stove. The windows were double-paned and new, and over the years, different parts of the cabin had been updated. The most recent renovation had been to the bathroom.
He watched as she walked all around, wondering if she could sense the history trapped inside the old stone walls. Sometimes, late at night, he almost felt the ghosts of times long gone drifting up from the rocks.
Finally, she looked up and met his gaze. A reluctant smile hovered at the edge of her lush mouth. “Very nice.” She swallowed, her cheeks turning pink. “But there’s only one bed.”
“I know.” He indicated the couch. “That makes into a bed. I’ll bunk there.”
Relief palpable, she nodded.
He glanced at his watch. “We have about an hour until they’ll expect us back at the main house for dinner. Do you want to freshen up or take a nap or...”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m not sure.” If he’d been alone, he’d already have turned and headed back to the house to be with his family. But since he knew this would be rough enough on her as it was, he wouldn’t ask that of her. Nor would he leave her alone. Until the missing Sanctuary members were arrested, he didn’t plan to let Lilly Gideon out of his sight.
“I think I’d like to take a walk,” she said, surprising him. “After so long in the car, my legs could use a bit of a hike.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Crossing to the door, he held it open. “After you.”
She didn’t move. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to be alone.”
Compassion warred with common sense. “I’m sorry, but right now that’s not a good idea.”
He expected her to argue. Or maybe just challenge his statement. Instead, she dipped her chin in a sort of resigned acceptance and moved past him. He fought the urge to take her arm, and only the knowledge that she wouldn’t have made it so long if she wasn’t a fighter, kept him from demanding she try harder for what she wanted.
“How about I stay a bit behind you?” he offered. “Give you some space without leaving you completely alone?”
All the light had faded from her eyes, leaving them as dark as a storm. “Suit yourself.”
So he did. Since she hadn’t indicated a preference, he remained right by her side. Unspeaking, yet close enough to touch.
They’d barely gone a quarter mile when she stopped and rounded on him. “I understand you take this guarding me thing seriously,” she began, “but I barely know you.”
“You will,” he said softly. “And, yes, I do take keeping you safe very seriously.”
Her expressive face revealed a combination of frustration and determination. “I’m used to being alone. Even when I was staying with Lucas and Blythe, they were kind enough to give me some space.”
“No worries. You’ll have your liberty again, once those last three Sanctuary people are caught. Until then, I’m afraid you’re going to have to put up with me. I’ll be keeping you very, very close.”
Jerking her head in a stiff nod, she turned and walked briskly away. He almost laughed, well aware of what she was trying to do. She didn’t realize his long stride would enable him to effortlessly catch up to her without him having to run. If he wanted to, that is. He’d offered to give her as much space as he could, and that’s what he intended to do. At least for right now.
So he dropped back, keeping his distance, and tried to ignore the enticing sway of her hips as he followed behind.
* * *
Lilly fumed, hating the way that once again, she had absolutely no control over her life. Even though she couldn’t help but admire Kane’s steadfast determination and his attempt to give her a small modicum of privacy, his refusal to let her walk alone angered and frustrated her.
Of course it didn’t help her mood that she’d be paralyzed with terror if he actually did set her loose.
So she strode off, her fast pace practically daring him to keep up. A few offhand glances over her shoulder revealed he didn’t seem to be having any trouble. She walked and walked, at first thinking she’d go until the path ended. Eventually she realized the trails apparently crisscrossed the woods for miles. Defeated yet again, she spun around and motored on past him, refusing to look at him even though she knew she was acting childish. After all, none of this was his fault.
Back at the cabin, she found herself still jumpy and out of sorts. She’d thought a good hike through the woods might soothe her—nature often did. But instead, she’d been ever conscious of the large man walking behind her, ready to rush to her side at the slightest threat and defend her. Her conflicted emotions about this didn’t do anything to help improve her state of mind.
Part of her liked the way having him near made her feel protected. But part of her hated the necessity. She liked that he’d said he’d teach her to protect herself. As soon as they were settled in, she’d demand he make good on that promise.
Meanwhile, there was the dinner with his family to get through.
She didn’t know why she felt so nervous about everything. The jangling rawness angered her, made her wish she could be a different person. After all, these were just regular people. They weren’t going to shackle her to a machine and send volts of electricity coursing through her system. Having dinner with Kane’s family shouldn’t matter—a simple meal would be minor compared to the numerous atrocities she’d suffered at the hands of her father’s minions in her fifteen years of captivity.
Thinking this helped. She squared her shoulders, dragged a brush through the tangle of her long hair and headed out into the living area where Kane waited.
He gave her a long look, and then offered his arm. “Are you ready?”
Forcing herself to move forward, she hesitated, just short of touching him. “Are we walking?”
“We can.” His cheerful smile struck a chord of warmth inside her. “Though we might need a flashlight to make it back. There are no streetlights here, just cabin lights.”
She frowned, trying to decide.
“Or we can drive,” he added. “Whichever is easiest on you.”
“Let’s walk.” More time to get herself psyched. “I don’t mind a flashlight later.” And she took his arm, the warmth of his skin sending a flush of warmth into her hand.
The woods were beautiful, a leafy canopy through which slashes of sky teased the eye. The gravel crunched under their feet as they made their way back toward the main house.
They’d just rounded the last turn, passing by the first four cabins, when a childish shout rang out. Kane shot her a rueful smile. “We’ve been spotted.”
She couldn’t help but tense. Her unease must have communicated itself to him through her hand.
“It’s okay,” he said. “They’re only children.”
The words had barely left his mouth when they were surrounded by kids of all ages and sizes.
“Uncle Kane!” They attached themselves to Kane, full of a joyous exuberance that made Lilly smile. One of the little girls, seeing the smile, shyly tugged on Lilly’s shirt.
“Hi, I’m Candace,” she said. “I’m five. Are you Uncle Kane’s girlfriend?”
“Um, no.” Despite herself, Lilly blushed. “We’re just friends.”
“You’re a girl. If you’re friends, then you must be his girlfriend.”
Grinning, Kane ruffled Candace’s mop of red hair. “It’s hard to argue with logic like that,” he said, winking at her. Seeing that, some of the tightness eased off Lilly’s chest. Just some, but at least now she could breathe.
With children dancing around them as if they were some sort of pied pipers, they reached the main house. A knot settled low in Lilly’s stomach. She had zero practice with any kind of social situations. After all, the only interactions she’d had in the past fifteen years had been with her captor and the doctors who’d tortured her in the name of Sanctuary.
She felt as if she was about to take a blind leap off a cliff. Which she knew was foolish—this was only dinner, after all—but she couldn’t help herself.
“It’s going to be okay,” Kane murmured, his breath tickling her ear. “I promise.”
And then he pulled open the door and they went inside.
Her first impression was the chaos and the noise. A blur of activity—people and food and music—so much the swirl of energy overwhelmed her. She took a step back, forgetting Kane still had her hand engulfed in his.
“Come on.” Smiling in reassurance, he tugged her into the middle of the maelstrom. As she tried to hold back the rising tide of fear, the creature inside her raised its bruised and battered head and curled its lip in the beginnings of a snarl.
The beast. Her beast. No. Not now. Fear changed to horror, to panic, to terror. She froze as the thing within her stretched, flexing its claws, making a garbled, sorrowful song low in its battered throat.
All around her, in the middle of the noise, people began looking around, sniffing the air, as if they somehow sensed the struggle being waged inside her. Maybe they did, perhaps this was a Shifter thing, but she knew whatever the creature inside her might be, it wasn’t the same as theirs.
If she had her way, her beast would never again see the light of day. She’d vowed this, no matter the cost. She had to save the rest of the world from its awful vengeance, even if she had to die trying.
Kane turned to look at her, at the same time tightening his grip on her fingers. Something must have shown in her face. Using his body to block her from their sight, he shepherded her away from the others.
Chapter 5
“Come with me.” The deep rumble of his voice sent a shudder through her. She felt as if he’d tossed her an invisible lifeline. Grateful, she went where he led, ashamed of the way she clung to him, yet unable to do more than that.
Inside her, the creature still stirred, wary now.
He took her down a long, narrow hallway and into a small room that had apparently once been a bedroom but had been converted to a craft room/storage space/office. Once inside, he kicked the door closed behind him.
“Are you all right?” Cupping her face with his other hand, he tilted her chin up, making her look at him.
Cautiously, she took a deep breath. She’d been lying to everyone, including her twin brother, and she knew she couldn’t be truthful now, to Kane. She had no choice. He’d never understand. Whatever had been done to her had made her different than the rest of them. No one could help her deal with this. She had only herself and hoped to tap into some inner strength that so far had been conspicuously absent.
“I think so,” she managed, the answer to his question coming a heartbeat too late.
Hand warm under her chin, he studied her, his silver eyes missing nothing. Her entire body flushed. Slowly, moving her head, she gave him no choice but to let her go. Though their fingers were still linked, she backed away, putting just enough space between them so she could once again breathe.
“Are you going to tell me what that was?” he asked.
For a second, she considered feigning ignorance, but since it appeared that everyone in the room had sensed her internal battle, or some aspect of it, she knew this would be futile. “I’d rather not. At least not right now.”
Eyes narrowing, he nodded. “Are you going to be all right to rejoin my family?”
For now, her beast had gone quiet again. She didn’t know what had set the monster off; whatever triggered it seemed to follow no pattern that Lilly could see.
“I think so.” She tried for a smile, partially succeeding.
“Good.” Opening the door, he led her back down the hallway toward the kitchen.
The organized chaos stilled the moment they reappeared. Kane broke the awkward silence by sniffing and grinning as he made a broad gesture toward the pots simmering on the stove. “Something sure smells good. What’s cooking?”
Just like that, everyone went back to what they’d been doing. Bemused, no longer terrified of them, though she wasn’t sure why, Lilly let Kane tug her along by the hand, while he joked and teased his family.
“Go ahead and get seated,” the elder Mrs. McGraw ordered, already bustling from the kitchen to the dining room, carrying steaming bowls of food. She wore a brightly colored apron and her plump hands were adorned with rings, one on every finger.
Judging from the scents wafting from the bowls, she’d made some kind of roast, along with vegetables, and homemade bread. Lilly’s mouth began to water.
Everyone seemed to rush at once to take their seats at a long table. Lilly stopped counting at twelve chairs, amazed as she realized there was another table set up for the kids.
“Here you go.” Kane pulled out a chair for her. Once she’d taken her seat, he dropped into the one next to her. Someone to his left good-naturedly jostled him, almost causing him to knock over his water glass. He saved it with another grin.
Once everyone had taken a seat, they began passing around the bowls. Lilly had never seen so much food in her life. Amazed, she accepted one bowl after another, spooning a little on to her plate, afraid she might offend Kane’s mother if she didn’t sample everything.
Watching, she noticed no one started eating. Apparently they were waiting until everyone had gotten everything. She waited, as well, even though she felt hollow from hunger.
Finally, Kane’s father stood and tapped on his glass with his knife. He flashed a friendly smile at her before glancing around the table. “Today, in honor of Kane’s guest, I’d like to say a little prayer.”
At his words, everyone bowed their heads. Confused, Lilly glanced at Kane, only to realize he too had closed his eyes and dropped his chin.
Unnerved, she also bowed her head, though she kept her eyes open so she could watch Kane through her lashes.
“Higher power, we thank thee for your blessings. This food, our company, the love we have for one another and, finally, our good health. In your name, we salute the earth, the sun, the stars and the moon.”
The moon? She frowned, thinking of the kind of prayers Jacob Gideon and his followers had prayed with such fervor. They’d invoked a lot of retribution and hellfire, and nothing about thankfulness or love. Then and there, she decided Sanctuary and Kane’s family didn’t share the same God.
Once the prayer was finished, everyone dug in. Bowls were continually passed as people took seconds, even thirds. Lilly tried, but she couldn’t even finish everything on her plate.
“Wonderful meal,” Mr. McGraw boomed, patting his ample stomach. “Leave the dishes, hon. Me and the boys will get them.”
Once again, Lilly could scarcely believe her ears. In the world where she’d been raised, Sanctuary, all the men had treated the women as little more than serfs. And that had been in the best-case scenario. Once more she was forcibly reminded that the rest of the world wasn’t like Sanctuary.
As the men pushed back from the table and began gathering the dishes, Kane touched her shoulder. “You’ll be all right? I shouldn’t be gone more than a minute or two.”
Slowly, she nodded. He grabbed her plate and his, and moved to the other side of the table, picking up silverware. Lilly noted some of the other women pretending not to watch her. She offered Kane’s mother a tentative smile, relieved when the older woman smiled back, genuine laugh lines creasing her light blue eyes.
With the background noise of silverware and plates clattering in the kitchen, chatter flowed easily among the women. Lilly didn’t participate, but she listened, marveling at the feminine camaraderie. A swift stab of yearning filled her. The closest she’d ever come to having a friend had been one of the female doctors at Sanctuary, who’d exploited Lilly’s loneliness. Dr. Silva had pretended friendship in order to make it easier for her to perform experiments on Lilly.
The first time Lilly had begged her to stop, her so-called friend had ignored her and tightened the screws instead.
Since that day, Lilly no longer believed in friendship.
But the camaraderie among these women, who were joined by blood or by marriage, felt different. None of them appeared to have anything to gain, no private agenda as they joked and laughed, teased and commiserated. Lilly made a note to watch them while she was here, and see who tried to exploit whom.
The men returned a few minutes later. They too seemed in high spirits, jostling one another, bumping shoulders and fists. Kane seemed slightly embarrassed, side-stepping when his two brothers tried to get him in a headlock. His gaze locked on hers, sitting so quietly, as if he knew she thought herself a weed among blooming flowers.

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