The Family They've Longed For
Robin Gianna
What she’s always wanted:Love. A family. Him.Paediatric surgeon Rory Anderson is dreading returning to her small Alaskan home town and seeing her ex, local doctor Jacob Hunter! After everything they've lost, discovering he’s a single dad brings back so many painful memories. But when it becomes clear their chemistry is as powerful as ever Rory dares to hope that Jacob and his son could be the family she’s always longed for…
What she’s always wanted:
Love. A family. Him.
Pediatric surgeon Rory Anderson is dreading returning to her small Alaskan hometown and seeing her ex, local doctor Jacob Hunter! After everything they lost, discovering he’s a single dad brings back so many painful memories. Only when it becomes clear their chemistry’s as powerful as ever, Rory dares to hope Jacob and his son could be the family she’s always longed for...
After completing a degree in journalism, then working in advertising and mothering her kids, ROBIN GIANNA had what she calls her ‘awakening’. She decided she wanted to write the romance novels she’d loved since her teens, and now enjoys pushing her characters towards their own happily-ever-afters. When she’s not writing Robin fills her life with a happily messy kitchen, a needy garden, a wonderful husband, three great kids, a drooling bulldog and one grouchy Siamese cat.
Also by Robin Gianna
The Last Temptation of Dr Dalton
Flirting with Dr Off-Limits
It Happened in Paris…
Her Greek Doctor’s Proposal
Her Christmas Baby Bump
The Prince and the Midwife
Reunited with His Runaway Bride
Baby Surprise for the Doctor Prince
The Spanish Duke’s Holiday Proposal
Tempted by the Brooding Surgeon
Discover more at millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk).
The Family They’ve Longed For
Robin Gianna
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
ISBN: 978-1-474-07532-9
THE FAMILY THEY’VE LONGED FOR
© 2018 Robin Gianakopoulos
Published in Great Britain 2018
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF
All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.
By payment of the required fees, you are granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right and licence to download and install this e-book on your personal computer, tablet computer, smart phone or other electronic reading device only (each a “Licensed Device”) and to access, display and read the text of this e-book on-screen on your Licensed Device. Except to the extent any of these acts shall be permitted pursuant to any mandatory provision of applicable law but no further, no part of this e-book or its text or images may be reproduced, transmitted, distributed, translated, converted or adapted for use on another file format, communicated to the public, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of publisher.
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www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
This book is dedicated to awesome cousins
George, Christie, Soula and Django.
Thanks so much for answering all my questions
and giving me great insight into your Alaskan world.
Prepare to have me come visit soon! xoxo
Contents
Cover (#u155ae726-0e26-5482-93e1-026311c3109b)
Back Cover Text (#ub146f067-66b0-54bc-bc52-7582774c0582)
About the Author (#ubf55dea2-07c3-5cd2-bf64-ef865ff65fcf)
Booklist (#uea546f7d-6c43-5b25-b4a7-bba09e13130e)
Title Page (#u856dff9c-9665-532d-99c7-da832cde71cd)
Copyright (#u4b781574-283b-523d-a5ff-2ced40992376)
Dedication (#u7321c0b3-f4e2-5620-b412-d18c3dbd30e9)
CHAPTER ONE (#u99d892bb-a4c0-578b-8a19-59e0b3f55400)
CHAPTER TWO (#u90d3182f-0784-5447-a47e-20706bc1b7e5)
CHAPTER THREE (#ucaaccbe3-7b95-5a68-b47d-16264f721dce)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FOURTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
EPILOGUE (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#u01ec5022-876f-5ad9-b05c-0bad7cbfb861)
“JUST FOLLOW THE standard orders for her release from the hospital as I wrote them,” Dr. Aurora Anderson said into her phone. “I know Dr. Jones has her chart, but he doesn’t know all the nuances of her problem. Any questions, call me and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”
Overhead, the last call for her flight to Alaska was urgently announced and she huffed out an impatient breath as the intern asked a few more questions.
“Listen, I have to board my plane. I’ll call when I get to Fairbanks. You need to follow my instructions. Yeah, I get that Dr. Jones is filling in for me while I’m gone, but I already talked to the parents about the plan. I don’t want anyone deviating from that and confusing them. They know I’ll be seeing their daughter as soon as I get back, and that they only need to contact Dr. Jones if something seems wrong.”
Rory shoved her phone into her backpack, grabbed her carry-on bag and ran to hand her boarding pass to the airline attendant, ignoring the disapproving frown the woman gave her. Being late to board wasn’t catastrophic, but messing around and changing her orders for a patient post-op absolutely might be, so she couldn’t worry about being the last on the plane.
After four years of med school, five years of residency and finally getting the board exam under her belt, she’d damned well earned her title: Doctor of Pediatric Orthopedic Medicine. She knew all this second-guessing from the intern was because she wasn’t yet an attending physician. But having her orders followed was supremely important—not only for the patient, but for her future on the doctors’ roster. If all went well, she’d have a permanent position there in a matter of weeks, and she’d never have to think about uprooting her life again.
She wrestled her bag into the overhead compartment and apologized as she squeezed her way past the two people in her row before finally plopping into the window seat. She drew a calming breath and pulled out her phone again, calling a nurse to give her instructions about a couple of other patients before they were told to turn off all electronics for takeoff.
Why they insisted on that, she had no clue, since people used computers and phones around all kinds of electronic medical equipment and not once had it interfered with testing and diagnostics. Then again, she thought to herself, she wasn’t an engineer, so she should stick with what she knew instead of offering opinions—something a few people in her past had frequently pointed out...one of whom she’d be seeing again this week whether she wanted to or not.
That painful realization had her stomach twisting like a terrifying tornado. Seeing him again, being in her hometown at all, was going to be torture; it would bring back all the horrible memories, all the guilt, all the sorrow she’d tried so hard to leave behind.
The plane lifted, propelling her toward the one place she absolutely didn’t want to go. She swallowed hard, trying to control the sickly feeling in her stomach, and tipped her forehead against the window to stare down at what had been her home for the past nine years.
The dizzying concrete mass of freeways connecting the hulking city of Los Angeles and all its suburbs couldn’t be more different from where she’d grown up. Where she was heading now.
With serious effort she managed to move her thoughts to the patients she’d just performed surgery on, and the others she was scheduled to see in her office the rest of the week. It wasn’t going to happen now. Because a different kind of patient needed her help. The woman who’d always needed some kind of care or guidance throughout Rory’s whole life.
Her sweet, wacky, childlike mother.
The plane rose higher above the clouds, leaving LA far behind. Rory dropped her head against her seatback and closed her eyes.
It would be okay. It would. Being with her mother for the next week would be really nice, since she’d spent so little time with her these past nine years.
Her mom loved her life in Eudemonia, Alaska, and hadn’t been too interested in visiting Rory in LA. The few times her mom had come to Southern California had been a joy, and a huge source of entertainment to everyone she’d been in med school with, and later her friends in the hospital. There weren’t too many people like Wendy Anderson, and her unique way of dressing was startling even in a big city like Los Angeles.
A smile touched her lips at the memories—until reality hit her like a hard fist all over again. Taking care of her mom would be the easy part. The hard part would be being back home. The worst part would be seeing Jacob Hunter again.
Yesterday, the sound of his voice on the other end of the phone had made her heart jolt hard in her chest, then hammer wildly—even after she had found out the reason he’d been calling. He’d been letting Rory know about her mother’s emergency surgery for a ruptured appendix, telling her that she was fine, and now just needed some nursing and recovery time.
Unbidden, the face that had fascinated her since the fourth grade appeared in her mind and memories of him spread to her heart, bringing a melancholy pleasure and unrelenting pain. Though their friendship—and more—was long over, she would always cherish the memories of their childhood together, and their years as lovers in college.
But theirs had been a love that had resulted in the worst thing ever to happen to either of them.
She squeezed her eyes more tightly shut, as though she could squish the memories right out of her brain. It hadn’t happened in nine years, so clearly there was no point in trying now. Still, she worked to think, instead, about her mother’s idiosyncrasies, which made her laugh and sometimes drove her crazy, even though she loved her to bits.
From the time Rory had been barely more than a toddler, she vividly remembered her mother insisting that she call her Twinkle-Toes or Twinkie instead of Mom. Possibly because she adored wearing dance and fairy costumes, but mostly because actually acting like a mom had never been on her radar.
There were memories of the two of them doing all sorts of unorthodox things—like painting every lampshade in the house neon so they’d glow in “pretty colors”; like deciding that creating rock sculpture Voodoo talismans all around the house would keep them safe after Rory’s father died. Rory had helped with all that to make her mom feel more comfortable even as she had inwardly rolled her eyes—as she had when her mother danced spontaneously whenever the mood struck, not caring if there were other people around or not.
So many of the things her mother did were adorable and funny. But sometimes embarrassing—especially once Rory had become a teen. She found herself managing to smile in anticipation of what might greet her today at the house she’d grown up in, knowing that spending time with her unique mother was the only thing that would make this trip bearable.
The moment the plane touched down at the Fairbanks Airport, Rory felt like a ten-pound weight had dropped onto her shoulders. Looking out at the snowcapped peaks of the Alaska Range, she felt the memories she’d tried to stuff down flood back. They forced her to think about what had happened the last two times she’d been home.
One thing had turned out to be the biggest mistake of her life, which had left her with a shredded heart she knew would never be repaired. The other had been her father’s funeral, two years later. He had bravely suffered through diabetes, then kidney failure, for more years than she could remember. Neither one of those memories were things she wanted to revisit and remember, but being here again thickened her throat even as she promised herself she wouldn’t fall apart.
The forty-five miles from Fairbanks passed way too fast, and soon she was driving into the city limits of Eudemonia. The moment she saw the familiar stores and homes, and the trees which were now mostly naked except for a few straggling golden yellow leaves still clinging to the branches, her chest squeezed even tighter.
Finally the tiny house she’d grown up in came into view, surrounded by birch, aspen and spruce trees that were bigger than she remembered. Cozy and charming, in a worn sort of way, the house stood atop the small hill she’d rolled and sledded down as a kid, her mother rolling and laughing along with her while her dad watched and applauded—the hill she’d run down nine years ago, stumbling and falling, somehow getting in her car, tears making it hard to see, grief making it hard to breathe, to leave for LA.
God, she had to get these feelings under control before she went in to see her mother.
She hit the brakes and sat there, waiting for the sickly feeling to pass. She gulped in a few breaths, admitted she was as ready as she’d ever be, then turned her rental car off the road to bump across the uneven grass.
She could do this. She had to. She had to find a way to get through the next week without becoming a weeping mess all over again.
A single bulb dangled over the crooked wooden front porch, and a giant stuffed rabbit wearing a green army helmet sat on an overturned bucket to greet visitors. Why a rabbit, Rory had no clue—since it was early October, not Easter—but, boy, she couldn’t wait to find out. Though it was likely her mom didn’t have any reason other than she liked the way it looked.
The whole place appeared even more dilapidated than it had when she’d last been here for her dad’s funeral. She’d called regularly, but she knew it had been cowardly of her to avoid this place, and consequently her mother. She felt bad about it—she did—except that being here made her feel even worse. Maybe someday she would be able to face what she’d done and deal with the pain.
Nine years hadn’t accomplished that—which meant that “someday” was still a long way off. If it ever came.
She knew she was beyond blessed that her mom had lots of friends to spend time with. Close friends who always looked after one another. People who were a big part of the reason why her mother sounded like her happy self whenever they spoke.
But what her mom had gone through with her surgery wasn’t normal, everyday stuff. Rory knew her mother was supposed to be doing all right, but she might still be in a lot of pain. How on earth would her mom have coped if Rory hadn’t come home?
She had no idea. Which made her realize all over again that, despite everything, she felt glad to finally be here for her mom.
She planned to nurse her mom with lots of TLC. Then, with any luck, she’d be close to her normal self by the time her mom’s sister, Rory’s Aunt Patty, came to take over. Much as she dreaded spending time at home again, getting her mother healthy enough for Rory to feel okay to leave her had to be the goal.
She stepped up to the front door and paused to pick at the paint flaking from the side, making a mental note to call a painter to get it done next summer. She knew it was too cold to paint now, but getting it on the schedule would be better than nothing.
Her job as a resident pediatric orthopedic surgeon provided her with enough money to live on and pay for this kind of repair stuff. And now that she’d passed her boards she’d be making a lot more. Assuming she got the permanent job—which was another reason to get back to LA as quickly as possible for her interview, before someone else snagged it away from her.
Even though it was barely six thirty, the vibrant golden sun was already setting in Eudemonia, Alaska—long before it would be in LA. She gazed at the fading orb, loving the way fingers of light slipped through the branches and lit the yellow leaves and hills. Up on the mountains the brilliant reds of the moss and lichen in the tundra glowed beneath the setting sun, and Rory was surprised at the warm nostalgia that filled her chest. It was so completely different from the warm temperatures, the concrete roads, the masses of cars and buildings and people that made up LA.
Thinking of the warm temperatures made Rory shiver as the chilly air sneaked down inside her jacket, and she shook her head at herself. Her friends here would laugh at what a wimp she’d become, thinking it was cold now, in early October. They’d probably all still be wearing shorts and T-shirts and thinking it felt downright balmy—but, hey, when she’d left Southern California earlier that day it had been almost eighty degrees. Anyone would feel the contrast, right?
She turned the knob and the door squeaked open. No surprise that her mom hadn’t locked it, since Rory didn’t think it had ever been secured in her whole life. In fact, thinking about it, she wasn’t sure it even did lock. And wouldn’t her California friends be flabbergasted at that?
“Hello? Mom? Twinkle-Toes?”
The light in the small living room was so dim it was hard to see, and she peered at the worn chairs, not seeing any sign of her mother’s small frame. Sounds of marching band music, of all things, came faintly from the back of the house, and Rory had started to move toward her mother’s bedroom when she appeared in the hallway outside the living room, with a small, curly-haired brown dog trotting beside her. Rory hadn’t met him yet.
“Aurora! I’m so happy you’re here! Come give your mama a big hug.”
She hurried toward her mom, partly because she looked a little unsteady, walking with the pink cane she held in her hand. “Mom. Twinkie.”
She gently enfolded her in her arms, being careful not to squeeze, and her throat clogged with emotion at how good it felt to hold her. Until this moment she hadn’t even realized how much she’d missed seeing her and being with her. The pain of being in Eudemonia was so intense, the pleasure of seeing her mom often just wasn’t enough to counteract it.
No doubt about it, she was a coward. A weakling.
“You shouldn’t be wandering around with no one here. You just got out of the hospital this afternoon. What if you fell?”
“I knew you were coming. I knew you’d be here to take care of me, marshmallow girl.”
Marshmallow girl. It had become her nickname after they’d filled her hot chocolate cup to overflowing with them one Christmas. It had become a tradition, with the various pups they’d had over the years gobbling up the marshmallows that had scattered on the floor. Why that had stuck in her mother’s mind she had no clue, but she’d always kind of liked it when she called her that, remembering all the silliness of her home life.
“Yeah. I’m here to take care of you.”
She pressed her cheek to her mother’s soft, warm one, thinking of all her years growing up, when she’d played parent to her mom instead of the other way around.
“How are you feeling?”
“Like I had a knife stabbed in my tummy—that’s how!” She looked up at Rory with a mix of a grimace and a grin on her face. “Can you believe I had a bad appendix? After all the special herbs I eat and drink to stay healthy!”
“Yeah. Who’d have thought it? Maybe your appendix has had too much fun all these years, just like you, and got plain worn out.”
“I’m not even close to worn out.” She grinned and playfully swatted Rory’s arm. “So I’m just as happy to not have a boring appendix. Good riddance to it, if it couldn’t keep up with the fun and appreciate all the special teas and foods I gave it, right?”
“Right. Good riddance, appendix!”
Rory had to chuckle as she led her mom to what she knew was her favorite chair. No point in getting into a discussion on the subject of herbal supplements, and which ones her mother might avoid, since she’d never been interested in her daughter’s opinions in the past.
She reached down to scratch the dog’s ears as he wagged his tail. “Is this Toby? You described him to me, but he’s even cuter than I expected.”
“He’s the best little doggie. He keeps me company and protects me just like the talismans.”
Noting that the dog hadn’t even barked when she’d walked in, let alone come out to see who was there, Rory smiled inwardly. Her mother believing the dog protected her was more important than whether or not it actually did.
The fact that she’d only started worrying about that after Rory’s father had died had been a surprise, since her sweet dad had been an invalid for so long he’d hardly have been able to deal with an intruder. But in her mother’s eyes he’d been a superhero. And she’d been right. The way he’d tried to be there for them even while bravely dealing with his illness had made him one tough, heroic man.
“I’m glad you found such a wonderful dog to be here with you.” She tucked her mom into the chair and kissed her forehead. “Are you hungry? I’m going to find you a little something to eat. And later I want to take a look at your incision. But before that I need to see all your hospital dismissal papers and read the instructions. Where are they?”
“In the kitchen somewhere. Linda brought me home and put them on the table, I think.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here in time to get you from the hospital. They told me you were being released tomorrow, and then when I called from the airport they told me you’d already left. That really makes me mad, by the way. I wanted to be there for you.”
“I know. I was hoping you’d see the hospital gown they had me in—it was a powdery blue, with these funny little cats on it that were too cute. One reminded me of our old Brutus...” Since nothing much ever irritated her mother for long, she gave with a smile and a shrug. “But you’re here now and I’m here now. We’ll have lots of big fun once I’m feeling better.”
Fun. The name of her mother’s game. It was going to be nearly impossible to feel like having fun while she was here, but she’d give it a try for her mom’s sake.
“You’re going to have to take it easy on the fun while you heal. They told me the rupture was an emergency and they had to use a full traditional incision instead of doing it laparoscopically, so it’s going to be a while before the pain is gone.”
The thought of how serious that might have been had Rory reaching for another, longer hug.
“I’m going to see if there’s food in the kitchen. If not, I brought some stuff in my bag to tide us over until I can get groceries from the store tomorrow. Sit tight for a minute.”
The kitchen light was an overly bright fluorescent strip in contrast to the low living room lights, and Rory made another mental note to get more lamps in the other room, so her mother didn’t trip over something.
Two gritty, slippery steps into the kitchen brought her to a halt.
From the look of the coffee cans full of colored sand all over the table, her mother’s newest creative project was sand art. Glass containers were filled or partially filled in landscape scenes, and Rory recognized one of them as being the Alaska Range they could see from the back of their house—those beautiful mountains she’d always stared at as a child, dreaming about climbing them someday and crossing over them to somewhere different and big and amazing.
She picked up the jar with the mountain scene and ran her finger across the glass, looking at the brown and green sand topped with fine grains of white. She’d done that, hadn’t she? Crossed that mountain. Become the kind of doctor few women were.
She’d thought she’d be looking at those mountain ranges forever, together with Jake. She’d thought they’d make a home and a family in Eudemonia, that they would work as doctors here and in Fairbanks and live happily ever after.
Except their “happy” had died, leaving an “ever after” impossible. She’d run hard and fast away from here—because she hadn’t been sure she would survive if she’d stayed. She’d made a new life for herself—going to medical school in LA instead of Anchorage, like she and Jake had planned.
But her life still felt hollow. Full to the brim with work to keep her mind busy and her heart detached from the rest of the world. That detachment had taken a lot of time and effort to achieve. It was exhausting.
She drew in a deep breath and glanced around the kitchen to see that there was as much sand on the floor and the table as there was in the cans. Crunching toward the refrigerator, she peered inside, deciding she’d better get the floor cleaned up as soon as she’d taken some food to the living room and read the discharge papers, so her mom wouldn’t slip on all the tiny grains. The last thing her mother needed was to fall and rip open her stitches.
The refrigerator was bare of anything but milk. There was also a little cheese, so Rory sliced it to serve with some crackers she found in the cupboard. She shook sand off the bottom of the hospital papers Linda had put in the middle of the table and went back to the living room.
“Here’s a snack for you. I’m going to read through this stuff, then get some more food from my bag.”
“This will be plenty. I’m not very hungry.”
“Just eat what you can and we’ll go from there. I understand if you’re not feeling like it, but you do need at least a little so you get your strength back.”
Rory straightened from putting the plate on her mother’s lap, and was about to sit in the only other chair that had a decent light when she heard the front door open and looked up.
Her heart stuttered, then slammed hard into her ribs.
Jacob Hunter.
She didn’t want to look at him for more than a moment, yet she found herself staring, riveted. He looked like he always had—and yet he didn’t. A little older but, impossibly, even better. He was still tall and lean, with angled features that were still startlingly beautiful: dark eyes that could see right through a person, and lips that were almost too full and yet perfect for his face. The black silky hair she’d loved to run her hands through long ago, when it had spilled to his shoulders, had been cut short enough to be respectable for the town doctor, but still it brushed his collar, not fully tamed.
He held a bag in one hand and, yeah, just as she would have expected, despite the chill in the air he was wearing a slightly shabby T-shirt that showed his shoulders and biceps were even more muscular than seven years ago, at her father’s funeral. No shorts, but the jeans he wore fit his physique perfectly, making him look more like an Alaskan cowboy than a medical professional.
Her heart beat its way up into her throat, making it hard to breathe. She’d thought she was prepared to see him—but not this soon. Not tonight. Not when she was barely ready to deal with being back in town at all.
“Hello, Aurora.”
He and her mother were the only two people who called her that. Her mom did because she’d always thought it such a romantic name for a baby born under the Northern Lights. The aurora borealis. And Jacob had often called her that because he’d known it annoyed her, and teasing had always been his way of telling someone he cared about them.
Not that he cared about her anymore. Not after all that had happened between them. Not with all the time that had passed since they’d spoken.
“Hello, Jacob.”
“I didn’t know when you were getting in, so I thought I’d check on Twinkie.”
Twinkie. It also struck Rory that he was the only person who called her mother that other than her. Until that moment she hadn’t thought about the familiarity that came with names and nicknames. None of her other friends had ever called her mom Twinkie—why had he picked that up?
Probably because he’d been around the house and participating in an awful lot of the crazy over the years. Funny how he had the kind of steady, predictable, wonderful family almost anyone would appreciate, and yet he’d enjoyed being at her zany, very unpredictable and unorthodox house just as much as his own.
“That’s nice of you, but you don’t need to worry about her now that I’m...here.” She’d almost said home, but had stopped herself, because this wasn’t her home anymore. Never could be.
“Might as well take a look while I’m here.” Jake scratched the dog’s head and it looked up at him with the same delighted expression as her mother did. “How are you feeling? Have you taken the pain medicine they gave you?”
“Oh, yes. I’m following all the directions they gave me. But I’m still in a lot of pain, so it’s not working too well.”
“Sorry you’re in pain. It’s not always easy to control the first couple days out of surgery. Let me take a listen to your heart and lungs.”
He reached back to the stethoscope he had looped into the back pocket of his jeans, then pressed his long fingers to her wrist while looking at his watch. Afterward he even pulled a portable blood pressure monitor out of his bag to check that, too.
Meanwhile Rory just stood there, feeling strangely uncomfortable, having no idea what to say or do now that he was here. The awkwardness hanging between them wasn’t surprising, even though she’d foolishly hoped that seeing him might leave them both feeling indifferent. That had clearly been a pipedream, considering their parting years ago hadn’t exactly been full of rainbows and smiling understanding between the two of them.
Her legs felt a little wobbly, and she briefly considered sitting down, but that would have left her on an uneven footing with him—looking up even more than her five feet four inches required her to.
Jacob’s gaze suddenly turned back to Rory, and she swallowed at the mix of emotions in his eyes—the same anger and hurt and confusion that she felt tangling around her own heart...that had seared her to the depths of her soul when she’d left nine years ago.
“Your mom said your Aunt Patty’s coming to take care of her after you’re gone. She still working at the army base in Anchorage?”
“Yeah. She lives with her son Owen, who’s stationed there. She scheduled next week off, so I’ll only be here for a short time.”
Those dark eyes seemed to bore right into her, and the long pause after she’d answered left her fidgeting—until he finally broke the silence with the question she didn’t want asked.
“So, how’s your life?”
“Good. Everything is great.”
God, when had she become such a liar? If there was one person who had to know that wasn’t true, it was Jacob. But there were good things about her life, right? Although her job was about the only thing that came to mind.
“I just passed my board exams, so I’m officially a doctor of pediatric orthopedic medicine. I was supposed to be interviewing today, for a permanent position at the hospital, but I had to reschedule it for next week.”
Again, he didn’t speak, and even as she squirmed under his serious gaze memories of the time they’d been apart got mixed up with all the years they’d been together. It was as if nothing had changed between them.
For a brief moment she had the shocking urge to go up on her tiptoes and give him a kiss hello on that luscious mouth. Which proved that her brain’s muscle memory was stronger than her common sense when it came to him. But of course that wasn’t surprising, was it? They’d known one another since they were kids in elementary school.
Except kissing those lips hadn’t happened until college, so that might not be the best explanation she could have come up with. Besides, all that felt like a lifetime ago.
He didn’t respond, instead handing her a business card, his expression unreadable. “I’ll be going, since you’re here to look after Twinkie. Here’s my number if you need to reach me. She’s supposed to have a follow-up appointment with her surgeon in a few days. I can take over after that.”
That uncomfortable flutter in her chest just wouldn’t go away, and she swallowed at the realization that she’d be seeing him way too much during this visit if she had to do as he suggested.
“Maybe you forgot I’m a doctor too,” she said, trying to somehow infuse some light humor into the words, even as the air felt like a heavy shroud hanging over her. “And a surgeon. Very used to dealing with post-op issues. After she sees her own surgeon I can take care of any problems she might have.”
“Just the same as always.” Annoyance and disapproval were clear in the dark eyes that flicked across her. “You can do everything better than anyone else. You never listen to anyone else.”
“That’s not what I said. I just meant—”
“I know what you meant. But here’s the thing: I have all the equipment to take her vitals and deal with any problems at my office, not to mention pain meds and antibiotic ointment for her incision and replacement bandages. So get over your ultra-independent self and bring her to my office after her appointment so I can take a look.”
“Jake, it’s just not necessary to—”
“Don’t worry,” he interrupted with a mocking smile on his face. “Since you have to be in control of everything, I won’t shut you out of the process.”
“I don’t... I don’t have to be in control of everything!”
She folded her arms across her chest, which was starting to burn a little. She’d made one horribly bad decision—admittedly a life-changing decision, but still... That didn’t make her controlling. It made her foolish. Regretful. Broken.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
He didn’t bother to answer that, just picked up the bag he’d brought and moved toward the kitchen.
“I have some food. I figured you wouldn’t have had a chance to go to the store. I got it when I was in Fairbanks earlier, since the selection at Green’s Market can be slim pickings sometimes. In case you don’t remember.”
Rory stared after him, trying to figure out how to handle all this as he moved out of sight.
Then her mother spoke. “It’s so sweet of that Jacob to bring us food, isn’t it?” her mother said, with the adoring smile on her face she always had when Jake was around, clearly oblivious to the tension between the two of them. “He always was something special. I remember—”
“I’ll see if he needs help.” Rory didn’t want to be close to Jake in the small kitchen, but she definitely didn’t want to listen to her mother’s glowing diatribe about how perfect and wonderful he was.
But the truth...? He really was nearly perfect.
Yes, he had that impatience thing that sometimes boiled over into irritation. And he’d always left his socks in the middle of the floor, apparently not considering them to be “real” clothes that had to be put in the laundry bag. And somehow, he’d never seen pot lids as counting toward actual dishes that should be washed. But otherwise...
Perfection in human form. He just was.
She was the one who was totally and horribly flawed.
Just before she got to the doorway, a loud curse and then a series of crashing sounds came from the kitchen, and suddenly she remembered.
The sand. Crap!
She sprinted the last few steps, and once she hit the kitchen the toes of her boots slid across the linoleum and nearly jammed into the top of Jake’s head, where he lay flat on his back on the floor. Cans and boxes were strewn everywhere, and a split plastic jug glugged a small river of milk onto the ancient blue linoleum.
“Oh, my God, are you all right?”
She knelt down next to him, her hands on his shoulders, his chest, traveling down his arms to see if they felt intact.
His deep brown eyes, surrounded by thick lashes, looked up and met hers, and for a long, arrested moment time felt suspended. Her heart thumped hard in her chest and it took all her willpower not to lean over and kiss him, just as she’d wanted to do earlier. Just as she’d done for so many years.
Her heart squeezed with familiar pain and longing as she forced herself to lean back instead of forward. “What hurts?”
“You’re the orthopedic surgeon. Take a guess.”
Something about the expression in his eyes told her that maybe he wasn’t talking about physical injuries. That maybe his mind was going back in time too, the same way hers was. To the pain they’d shared and yet experienced in totally different ways.
She choked back all those wonderful and awful feelings that insisted on flooding back. “I’m guessing your tailbone is bruised, and maybe an elbow or two, but otherwise you feel okay.”
For a split second his hand lifted toward her, before his fingers curled into his palm and he dropped his arm. He sat up, then shoved to his feet.
“Yeah, a few bruises.”
He glanced down at his clothes and brushed off some of the clinging sand, clearly avoiding looking at her, before he began picking up the groceries that had been flung all over the kitchen.
“Don’t worry about the milk,” she said, hurrying to grab a kitchen towel to mop it up, even though it looked like Toby’s happy licking was going to take care of it for her. “Or anything else. I’ll put it all away. Thanks for bringing it.”
His eyes met hers again, grim now. Probably he could tell she was beyond anxious for him to leave—but wouldn’t he want to get away from her just as much?
“No problem. Also, even though neither of us wants to hang around each other, we need to do what’s best for your mother.” He shoved a few things in the fridge, then set the rest on the counter. “Which means you bringing her in to see me in a few days. Just let me know when.”
Unexpected tears clogged her throat as she watched his long legs take him from the kitchen in fast strides, despite the risk of slipping, and she angrily swallowed them down. It shouldn’t make her want to cry that he didn’t want to spend time with her. Why would he? If she were him she’d keep as far away as possible from the woman who’d wrecked their dreams. And hadn’t figuring out ways to avoid him been at the top of her mind the minute she’d bought her plane ticket?
But the quiet tears slid down her cheeks anyway.
CHAPTER TWO (#u01ec5022-876f-5ad9-b05c-0bad7cbfb861)
“I’M GOING TO up your dose another twenty-five milligrams, Wilma,” Jake said as he wrote a prescription for his elderly patient. “Your blood pressure is better, but still a little high.”
“Okay, Dr. Hunter. I’ll take it every day if you think I should.”
He paused and glanced up at her. “You told me you had been taking it every day.”
She took the paper he handed her and made a sheepish face. “Maybe not every day.”
“If it’s hard for you to remember I can have Ellie get you a pill box that helps you keep track. Are you going to Fairbanks soon, so you can fill this? Or do you need one of us to get it for you?”
“I want to get supplies before the snow comes, so my son’s taking me tomorrow.”
“Good.”
He helped the woman down from the examination table and gave her a few more instructions. After she’d left the small room he wrote a note to himself to talk with her son to make sure she both got and took her medicine, then started typing his exam notes into the computer.
Ellie, who’d been office manager of this place for as long as he could remember, poked her graying head in the door. “Your mom’s here with Mika.”
“Already?” He glanced at his watch, wondering how it had gotten so late. “Have her come in here while I finish this up.”
The gleeful shriek that had been part of his world for the past eight months had him smiling before he even looked up from the computer. “I see he’s in a happy mood. Thanks for watching him again, Ma.”
“He’s such a good boy.” His mother beamed down at the baby in her arms. “He was cranky before his nap, but he’s been all smiles since.”
“I just need to finish up these notes, and then I have one more patient to see. Can you take Mika to my office to play until I’m done? Shouldn’t be long.”
“You still have things for him in there? Your dad bought him a new toy in Fairbanks today, but it’s at our house for when we’re babysitting. I told him he was going to spoil the child to death, since he’ll be getting all kinds of toys for his birthday. One-year-olds deserve a special party, don’t you think?”
“I don’t think he cares if he gets a party, but I do know he’ll love the attention.” He glanced up and smiled. “As for the spoiling—you were both good at that with all three of us, growing up, but I think we turned out okay.”
“Yes, you sure did. Two doctors and a lawyer? Not bad at all.”
“Yeah, except Timothy always said I’d be the doctor, Grace would be the lawyer and he wanted to be the Native American chief. I think he still kind of wishes that had happened, instead of planning to come work here next year when he’s finished with his residency.”
He finished the notes and stood. The serious look his mother sent him was a surprise, considering their light conversation.
“What?”
“Have you invited Rory over for dinner yet?”
“No, and I’m not planning to—which I already told you.”
Seeing her in the office when she brought in her mother was going to be difficult enough. The last thing he wanted was hours of small-talk with the woman he’d thought would be with him forever—the woman who’d crushed his heart into tiny pieces, then stomped on them for good measure.
“She’s busy with her mother, and I’m busy with work and Mika.”
“Then I’ll invite her. I want to catch up with all she’s been doing since she moved to LA.”
“Go ahead and invite her, then. Just don’t expect me to come, too.”
“Jacob,” she said in a disapproving voice. “It’s been a long time. I know things were...bad for both of you. But can’t you two just be friends now, since you went through the same heartache together? You were such good pals for such a long time.”
Good pals. That had been true for what seemed like nearly his entire life—until they’d become lovers. And then had come the happy surprise...before the horrible shock and the heartbreak. The fact that his mother wanted him to be friends with Rory now told him she had no clue how bad it had really been.
He wished he didn’t still feel the bitter resentment and hurt. But seeing her for even a few minutes last night had proved he still wasn’t ready to move on from that.
Maybe he never would be.
The moment he’d walked in through her mother’s front door a storm of emotion had swarmed up and strangled him. Far more than he’d expected, considering it had been seven years since he’d last seen her at her dad’s funeral, and they’d barely spoken then.
But he hadn’t forgotten the amazing deep green of her eyes—like moss on a hillside in the summer. The honey highlights in her silky brown hair. And when he’d slipped and fallen on that damned floor, and she’d leaned over him, he’d been stunned that she smelled exactly the same as she always had. She obviously still dabbed grapefruit oil on her skin—something her mother had encouraged her to use as a child, claiming it boosted the immune system and made people feel more cheerful.
Rory had always rolled her eyes at her mother’s conviction about all the things herbal oils would do for a person, and he’d sometimes wondered why she used it when it she claimed she didn’t believe in it. Obviously she liked the stuff, no matter what she said about it.
If he closed his eyes he swore he could still smell her. But he wasn’t going to tell his mother about all those memories and the discomfort—damn it, the anguish he’d felt when Rory left. Or that it was careening around inside of him all over again.
Before he could come up with some kind of answer that would satisfy her, Ellie poked her head in the door again.
“Rory Anderson is on the line. She says she thinks her mom has a urinary tract infection. She’s having trouble passing urine, and it’s cloudy. She’s wondering if she can get an antibiotic from you.”
He hesitated, then opened his mouth to say he’d write it and Ellie could call it into the pharmacy in Fairbanks. He forced himself to close it again. His policy was never to prescribe medicine—especially antibiotics—over the phone. He had to see the patient first, make sure it was really what they needed.
But maybe this time he could make an exception, since Rory was a doctor. He could leave a prescription at the front desk for Rory to pick up, and he wouldn’t have to see her—except for the day after her mother went to her surgeon for a follow-up.
No. Much as he didn’t want to see Rory, he couldn’t let his feelings urge him to violate good medical practice. Rory dealt with bones in her job. Who knew when she’d last had a patient with a UTI? Not to mention that a lot of surgeons called in antibiotic specialists for post-op infections. Truth was, there was no way around it.
He grimaced. “Tell her to bring Wendy in right now. We’ll fit her in before the day’s over.”
* * *
“I feel fine, Aurora. I mean, yes, it really hurts to go to the bathroom, but my stitches hurt, too. I don’t see any reason we have to go see Jacob. Can’t I just take more pain medicine?”
“A urinary tract infection isn’t something to mess around with, Twinkie. Not when you were on a catheter post-op and are having fever and chills now. You don’t want it to get worse and result in a kidney infection. Plus, you’ll be more comfortable when an antibiotic gets rid of it.”
“I just hate going to doctors.”
“Who doesn’t? Except this doctor is one of your favorite people, so quit complaining. He already said he’ll squeeze you in this evening.”
Which had her feeling relieved that her mom would get the meds she needed, but totally dreading having to see Jake again, even though her mother would love it.
“Okay. I guess it’s true that seeing Jacob is always fun. But why can’t you just get me an antibiotic, if that’s what you think I need? Isn’t that why you went to doctor school?”
“I went to doctor school for a little more than that.” Trust her mom to make her laugh, even as Rory was a ball of nerves. “But I can’t prescribe medicine here. I don’t have a medical license or privileges in Alaska.”
“Well, that makes no sense. You were born here, for heaven’s sake! Can’t you just show them your birth certificate?”
“It doesn’t work that way. I’d have to apply and take a test.” Which she wasn’t going to do, even though there had been a time when she’d thought she’d work here forever. Now the goal was to get that position at the hospital in LA and make her move away from here permanent.
She stroked her mother’s wavy blond hair that barely showed any silvery threads. It still hung nearly to her waist, as it always had, and Rory wondered if she could convince her to let her cut it, at least a little, so it would be easier to take care of.
Then again, it was such a part of who her mother was that it was probably worth the extra work, so she gently twisted it and secured it into a semi-tamed ponytail.
“Then just take the test.”
“Maybe someday.” Meaning never. “But until then the only way for you to get an antibiotic is to go to a doctor here, and Jacob is close by.”
“Well, if that’s what we have to do,” her mother said, shaking her head in clear disbelief of the protocols involved in medical care. “When do we leave?”
“Right now.” Her stomach squeezed, but she stiffened her shoulders and helped her mom get her coat on. The sooner they got there, the sooner it would be over with. “They’re closing his office soon.”
It was just a ten-minute drive from her mother’s house to downtown Eudemonia—if you could call it downtown.
At the age of eight Rory had been amazed when she’d gone to Fairbanks for the first time, to do some clothes shopping. Before then her mother had sewn or knitted all of it—until her dad had decided they should stop homeschooling her, and send her to the public school instead.
She’d stood out like a sore thumb at that school for a while, until she’d learned how to fit in, and one of those ways had been wearing off-the-rack clothes. She’d met Jacob Hunter at that school, too—the boy who’d become her hero.
She’d had no idea that a real downtown had more than a post office, a few stores, a medical clinic and multiple bars. Bars being the most important things in a town, as far as many residents were concerned. But, hey, something had to help everyone get through the nearly twenty-four-hour darkness of winter and the bitter cold and isolation of those months, right?
No doubt the bars were still the places where Eudemonians and others from nearby towns got together to listen to local musicians, play cards, checkers or poker and socialize.
Memories of those days had her smiling for a split second—until she remembered she wasn’t a part of this place anymore, and sure wouldn’t be doing any of that while she was here.
A couple of cars were parked behind the clinic, and as soon as she spotted a gleaming black pickup truck, with big, knobbly wheels ready to tackle the snow when it came, she knew it was Jake’s. He’d always loved black cars and manly trucks, saying how he’d have one someday, when he was a doctor like his dad.
A vision of his first beaten-up car, which he’d bought in high school with the money his dad had paid him to keep the clinic clean and take care of the medical waste, popped into her head. He’d still been driving it when all hell had rained down on their heads, and she was glad it wasn’t still around so she didn’t have to see it and remember.
Not that she didn’t remember it as if it were yesterday anyway.
“No need to hurry in, Twinkie,” she said as she helped her mom from the car. “Take your time.”
“I know I’m a pain, marshmallow girl. I’m walking slower than Grandma Lettie did when she was ninety-five. But my belly still hurts a lot, darn it.”
She grinned up at Rory, and the tightness of her chest eased at her mother’s upbeat attitude toward life. Wendy Anderson had always been an odd little thing, but she was special in so many ways. Rory knew she was blessed to have her as a mother, even though she had often been more like the parent and her mother more like the child.
“You could never be a pain. I love you.” She kissed her mother’s cheek, then opened the clinic door for her.
Ellie Sanders stood there, ready to take them back to the examination room, and Rory smiled at the woman who’d worked in the clinic for as long as she could remember. “Hi, Ellie. Thanks so much for fitting Mom in.”
“No thanks necessary, Rory. Besides, it’s thanks to Dr. Hunter, too, not just me. I’m never in a hurry to leave all the excitement of this place and be all alone at home.”
The twinkle in her eyes showed she didn’t really feel lonely, and Rory nearly asked about her kids and grandkids but decided not to go there. She didn’t want to reconnect too much to this town she’d be leaving again soon.
“He’s waiting for you in Room two.”
Rory’s heart seemed to skip a beat with every step down the hallway until they finally reached the room. The door was partly open, and inside she could see Jake’s mother standing there, talking to someone out of her line of vision.
Her heart gave another unpleasant kick. She didn’t really want to make stiff and uncomfortable small talk. But then she started to get annoyed with herself. Was she going to hide away like a child the whole time she was in town?
She pushed the door fully open and there was Jacob. She blinked, and for a second her brain couldn’t quite grasp what she was seeing. Then her heart shook hard, before diving straight into her stomach at the realization that he was holding a baby close in his arms...smiling and kissing its cheek.
Had he married and had a child? He might have. Why wouldn’t he? Growing up, all he’d wanted was to take his dad’s place as Eudemonia’s doctor. To marry, have a family and put down even deeper roots than his partly Alaska Native family had generations ago.
She gulped, trying to get air. Maybe the baby was a patient. Except there was no one in the room except him, his mom and the infant. It wasn’t likely he’d be taking care of a child without any parent around, cuddling it and kissing it and looking at it adoringly.
“Hello, Rory. I haven’t seen you in forever,” Beth Hunter said with a tentative smile. “I was worried I wouldn’t get to see you while you were in town.”
“Hi. I’m... I’m only here for a short time. Until Mom’s sister comes to take over.”
Jake glanced up from the baby and his smile faltered. The effort he put into shoring it up again was obvious as he moved his gaze to her mother.
“Twinkie, I’m glad you’ve come in. If you do have a UTI we definitely need to get it taken care of so it doesn’t make you sick while your body is already working so hard to recover.”
“I hate to bother you, but Aurora insisted.”
Her mother walked closer and gave the baby a couple of gentle pokes in its tummy. It grinned.
“He’s getting so big! My goodness, I can’t believe it. Then again, I haven’t seen him since the party your mom gave to celebrate his adoption. How old is he now?”
“He’s almost a year, Wendy. Can you believe it?” Beth said. “We’re having a birthday party for him next week—I’ll be sure to send you an invitation, if you’re feeling up to coming.”
“Oh, I think I will be—with my Aurora here to help me get well and my sister Patty’s coming soon. How are you doing, Beth?”
“Doing very well, thanks. My grandson keeps me hopping, that’s for sure.”
Rory watched everyone beaming at the child and it took her a herculean effort not to pass out, she felt so woozy.
Adopted? The baby was really his? Did the baby belong to a lover, too? Someone he was committed to? Had he wanted to adopt for that reason? Had he married the baby’s mother and her mom just hadn’t thought to tell her?
The baby reached up his little hand to grab a wad of Jake’s hair and he turned, chuckling, to extricate it from the chubby fist. “Ouch! I don’t tug on your hair, now, do I?”
The baby gurgled and laughed in response, and the sound, along with the sweet, loving smile on Jake’s face as he looked down at the baby, made Rory feel physically sick.
This was what they should have had together. She should have had this baby and the life they’d always planned. Instead it had been stolen after one catastrophic decision, changing both their lives forever.
“Twinkie, why don’t you take a seat on the exam table?” she somehow managed to croak. “I’ll meet you out in the waiting room.”
Blindly, she stumbled down the hall and out of the building, gasping in gulps of cold air. Her knees wobbled and she sat on the step, tucking her head between her knees to try to gather herself.
How embarrassing to fall apart this way. What had happened was long ago and far away, and the last thing she would ever want to be was an object of pity. To have Jake’s mother, Jake himself, shaking their heads sadly because she hadn’t been able to move on the way he obviously had. Because she hadn’t even wanted to.
Selfish. She was being horribly selfish—just like the night she’d made that terrible decision. Going out on that rescue, being all self-righteous, telling herself and everyone else that she was doing it to save someone, when in truth it had been for the adrenaline rush of it. The feeling of self-satisfaction she’d craved. There had been a half-dozen other people who could have taken her place to rescue that man...
She had to put aside her feelings. The right thing to do was to try to feel happy for Jake that he had the kind of life he’d always wanted. That he was living in this town, working alongside his dad as a family physician, with the child he’d adopted. Maybe a woman he loved. He deserved that kind of happiness even if she didn’t.
She heard the door open behind her and lifted her head. She stared across the parking lot at the ruby and gold sunset and tried to compose herself. A gentle hand landed on her shoulder. It was too small and light to be Jake’s.
“Rory, I’m sorry if it was a shock to see Jacob’s son. Obviously your mom didn’t tell you.”
Rory just shook her head, not trusting her voice.
Beth Hunter sat on the cold step beside her and propped the baby on her lap. He had on a little red jacket and knit hat, though Beth wasn’t wearing any kind of coat. But then, she was a Native Alaskan through and through, and her children were just like her and their dad. This baby would grow up like all of them, special and wonderful, and Rory swallowed down the tears that suddenly threatened to choke her.
“Do you want to hear the story about Mika? That’s what his mother named him—Mika. Do you want to know how it came about that Jake adopted him?”
Did she?
Turning her head so she couldn’t see the baby’s sweet face as she shook from the inside out, she nearly told Beth that she’d rather not hear it. But not knowing the story wouldn’t change a thing, would it? She’d still feel this deep ache that he had this beautiful little child. That they didn’t have one together. And if he was in love with someone else—that wouldn’t matter, either.
“Sure.”
“A single woman came to Eudemonia to take a job with the oil company nearby. She was pregnant, and either didn’t know who the father was or didn’t want to say. She came to Jake for prenatal care, and he delivered little Mika here at the clinic. When the baby was only about two months old, his mama came in feeling very feverish with a stiff neck. She was confused, and presented with photophobia.”
A fear of light, along with the other symptoms Beth mentioned, likely would have meant one thing for the woman, and that one thing would have been very bad. Rory kept quiet, but forced herself to turn and look at Beth and the baby cuddled against her.
“Jake suspected it was bacterial meningitis, and immediately gave her a combination of IV antibiotics while he did a spinal tap to confirm the diagnosis. But she’d waited too long to come in, and while Jake and his dad did everything they could she died within hours. There was this sweet, tiny baby boy in the office, with Ellie watching him and his mother was gone... Jake—well, it was hard on him. He wondered if there was something more he should have done. And little Mika was all alone.”
“Jake shouldn’t have felt that way. He knows that kind of virulent bacterial infection has to be caught early or it’s over. It’s not his fault that she died,” Rory said dully, knowing that everyone had said nearly the same thing to her, nine years ago.
Not her fault. But it had felt like her fault anyway, and how could she ever know for sure?
Beth nodded. “He knows that—but still... It was hard. He’d brought little Mika into the world and he felt a connection to him, you know? He was allowed to foster the baby until the adoption went through a couple months later. And now he’s a member of the family and my first grandbaby.”
“He’s a lucky boy.”
And Rory meant it. He was. The Hunter family were some of the best people she knew, and he’d be raised in the same awesome way Jake and his brother and sister had been raised. With love and guidance, a strong work ethic and a love for Alaska—especially Eudemonia.
Somehow the news that Jake wasn’t married and wasn’t in love with the baby’s mother had her breathing slightly easier, even as she tried to figure out how to deal with him being a father. Then again, not being in love with Mika’s mother didn’t mean he wasn’t in a serious relationship.
And why was she even wondering about that? It wasn’t as though either one of them wanted to get involved with each other again.
“So,” Beth said quietly. “How are you? Happy in Los Angeles?”
“I’m good. Fine. I love my job.”
What else could she say? That she loved her job and spent all her time doing it so she wouldn’t have to think about anything else?
“Tell me again what kind of doctor you are? Jake never said.”
Of course he hadn’t. Because he didn’t want to think about her and what had happened to make her change her plans and go to LA any more than she did.
“I’m a pediatric orthopedic surgeon. I take care of children’s broken bones and congenital bone disorders. You might remember I broke my leg falling out of a tree when I was ten? That whole experience amazed me—when I saw the X-rays and how they put it back together. I knew then I wanted to be a bone surgeon.”
She wouldn’t share the fact that the only reason she’d even thought about becoming a doctor was because of the Hunter family, how Jake and his brother had always known that was what they wanted to be, just like their dad.
“Sounds like you’re making a big difference in people’s lives. You must be proud.”
“Yes, it’s a good job.”
“And LA is light-years from here. I bet that was a big adjustment.”
“Warm and sunny year-round? Yes, very different from here.” She forced a smile. “Then again, there’s nothing like the clear air, open skies and bright stars of Alaska. I admit there are times when I miss it.”
“Well...” Beth hesitated, then seemed to change her mind on whatever she’d been about to say. “We’d love to have you over for dinner some night while you’re here. Before you go back. Your mother is more than welcome, too.”
“I doubt she’ll be feeling up to it.”
Beth probably knew it was Rory who wouldn’t feel up to it, but she let it pass.
“I’ll ask her, though. Thanks. And, Beth...?”
“Yes?”
Rory let herself reach out to stroke the baby’s round cheek, and its sweet softness made tears sting the backs of her eyes. “Congratulations on your grandbaby. He’s just beautiful.”
“Rory—”
The door opened and there was Ellie again, interrupting whatever Beth had been about to say. It was beyond a relief.
“Your mother is all set, Rory.”
“Thanks.”
She stood and reached down to help Beth to her feet as the woman propped the baby on her hip.
“Thanks for telling me about Mika and his mother. That...helps.”
Beth squeezed her hand. “I’m always here if you ever want to talk.”
No, she didn’t want to talk. She wanted to hide in her mother’s house, take care of her, then get out of Eudemonia and bury herself in work again. She wanted to commit to that job in LA, far away from here.
“Thanks, but I’m fine.”
That lie stuck in her throat as she met her mother and Jacob walking down the hallway to the front entrance. He was so handsome, so familiar, so...distant. He’d schooled his expression into one of cool professionalism, obviously as intent on keeping an emotional distance from her as she was.
“Definitely a UTI, so it’s good you brought her in. I have a couple of sample packets of antibiotic here,” he said, handing them to her. “I’ll have Ellie send a prescription to a drugstore in Fairbanks, too, because she’ll need to be on them for at least five days.”
“Thanks. We appreciate you seeing us tonight. Sorry we kept you from... Mika.”
Their eyes met, and the pain she felt deep inside was reflected in his eyes as he reached to take the baby from his mother’s arms.
“Not a problem. He’ll have to get used to having his daddy get home late when there are patients to see. Right, buddy?”
Daddy. Buddy. Her throat tightened all over again, and she knew she needed to get out of there.
Just as she was about to turn to her mother the baby leaned forward, slapped his little hands against Jake’s cheeks, and pressed his nose to his. God, it was like something out of a beautiful family movie, and the sweetly intimate picture nearly made the dam burst.
Somehow she gulped back the tears and grabbed her mother’s arm to hustle her toward the front door. No way was she going to humiliate herself by crying right there in front of all of them. But if she didn’t leave right that second, that was exactly what was going to happen.
She felt like every hour would be a matter of survival.
CHAPTER THREE (#u01ec5022-876f-5ad9-b05c-0bad7cbfb861)
WITH THE CLINIC CLOSED, Sunday was the best day for Jake to catch up on life, and he strapped Mika into his car seat so they could head to Fairbanks. His parents had offered to have him and the baby drive with them to get supplies, but he’d rather not be stuck going to some of the stores to do the things his mother considered vital. Like picking out balloons and other stuff for the party she was planning for the boy.
“Your grandma is pretty excited about your birthday, Mika,” he said. “Does it hurt your feelings that I don’t want to do any of the decorating she thinks is so important? All I want is to show up with you and eat cake—does that make me a bad dad?”
Mika grinned, babbled and kicked his feet, which Jake took as confirmation that the child didn’t think he was a bad father at all. He leaned in to kiss the baby’s cheek, and as he did so he suddenly remembered Rory’s expression when she’d walked into the office and seen him doing exactly that.
It could only be described as devastated. Every drop of color had drained from her face, and he’d been about to hand the baby to his mother and reach for Rory because he’d been so worried she might faint. Then she’d turned and practically run from the room, and he’d let her go. He knew the woman inside out, and the last thing she ever wanted from anyone was sympathy.
Even when life had thrown such a cruel blow at them she’d refused to lean on anyone, had cut herself off from her parents and her friends.
And from him. Especially him.
He hadn’t known what to do. He’d tried over and over to reach out to her. To hold her. To have them grieve together. To heal together, somehow move on with their lives together after this huge loss.
But what had she done?
She’d upped and left, crushing his dreams. She’d abandoned their plans, their future, the deep love they’d shared. She’d abandoned him, leaving him to bleed alone.
His jaw tightened with the memories. Yeah, she’d left without so much as a goodbye, and as far as he was concerned the shorter her stay here in Eudemonia, the better. He wanted to be the bigger person, to forgive and forget and move on. He thought he had. But from the first second he’d seen her in her mother’s living room, he’d known he was wrong.
What he’d felt at that moment had forced him to face the fact that he’d never forgotten even one little thing about her: her spunky, take-no-prisoners attitude toward life, softened by her loving and giving nature, her independent-to-a-fault spitfire nature that got her into trouble sometimes, her heart-shaped pixie-like face that always changed expression with the wind. Sweet, amused, angry, contrite... You never knew for sure what you’d see there.
He still remembered the exact moment he’d met her, in the fourth grade at the school outside Fairbanks he’d gone to since kindergarten. Remembered the way her beautiful green eyes had fixed on his when he’d told the kid bullying the new girl with the weird clothes to buzz off.
She had looked at him with admiration and awe, as if he was Superman, and from that moment on he’d loved spending time with her. Fishing, bicycling, playing ball, riding snow machines. She’d always acted like he was the best person in the whole world to spend time with, and he’d felt exactly the same about her.
Then college had come—and living in the same dorm building had changed things. One night, with a few illegal beers under their belts, talking had turned into kissing, and the electricity had shocked them both. From that moment their relationship had changed, and what he’d seen when he looked into her eyes had been exactly what he’d felt for her. A love so deep and clear it had made him weak, just as it had also made him strong.
He closed his eyes. She’d been a part of him for so long. And then she’d been gone for nearly as long. All through medical school without her, then moving back here with no Rory around anymore, he’d been able to fool himself that she no longer was.
He’d been wrong.
He shoved down the memories and opened his eyes to kiss Mika’s soft hair before closing the door, wishing he could kiss Rory, too, and hating himself for that. What they’d had had been special, but she’d destroyed it—and a part of him along with it. He’d better keep remembering that. She couldn’t be trusted to be honest, to share what she was feeling, to stick around. No way could he let her sneak back inside his heart for even the few days she would be home.
Not home. Not for her—not anymore.
He dragged his thoughts back to the list of things he needed in Fairbanks and got in the driver’s seat. The truck started with a roar. He stared up at the heavy gray sky, thinking he should get in more supplies than usual, with the possibility of snow on the way. October didn’t usually have precipitation, but you never knew. And any Alaskan had to be well prepared for anything.
He’d barely gone five miles past the fourth and last traffic light in Eudemonia when his phone rang and he saw it was Ellie.
“What’s up?”
“I got a frantic phone call from Pooky Green, saying his son got hurt riding his dirt bike. He’s sure his arm’s broken and wants to bring him to the clinic. I called your dad, but he said they’re already in Fairbanks.”
“Did you tell him we don’t do broken bones? He needs to take him to the ER in Fairbanks.”
“Well, actually, I...um...”
Something about her sheepish and apologetic tone had him wondering what was coming next. “What? Spit it out.”
“I know Rory is a bone specialist, who works with kids, even. So I told Pooky to bring him into the clinic and see if she can look at him. His car isn’t running too well, and he’s worried about driving it all the way to Fairbanks before he works on it. So I figured why not see if she can do something first?”
“Damn it, Ellie.” He didn’t want to see Rory, and he sure as hell didn’t want to work with her. “I wish you’d stop trying to take care of everyone in town. I’m going to Fairbanks, so I’ll take the kid to the ER.”
“Um... I already called Rory. She said she’d come to the clinic to look at him, and see what she thinks. She’s already on her way. But you don’t need to come—I’ll let her in and show her where everything is.”
Jake swore under his breath, counted to ten, then unlocked his jaw. “No one’s going to work at the clinic without either me or Dad around. I’ll meet her there. But please don’t do this again.”
“Oh, I won’t! Thanks, Jake! I know Pooky and Eli really appreciate it. You’re the best.”
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