His Little Christmas Miracle
Emily Forbes
The greatest gift of all… Seven years ago pretty nurse Jess Johnson gave away her heart… to gorgeous Australian Lucas White. It was only after she was torn from Lucas’s arms that Jess discovered she was pregnant – and she hasn’t seen him since!Returning to beautiful Moose River, Jess is stunned to learn that Lucas is in town too!Seeing one another again ignites a flame in their hearts that is impossible to ignore. But Jess has one more Christmas miracle in store for Lucas... their adorable little daughter Lily!
Jess felt as if the ground was tipping beneath her feet.
If she could just reach out a hand she could feel him. See if he really was real. But she couldn’t move. Life seemed to be going on around her as she watched, too overcome to react.
Lucas turned towards her at the sound of his name.
‘JJ?’
She hadn’t been called JJ in years. She couldn’t believe he was standing in front of her. Lucas—undeniably Lucas. He still had the same brilliant forget-me-not-blue eyes and the same infectious dimpled smile as he stepped forward and wrapped her in a hug. She fitted perfectly into his embrace and it felt as if it was only yesterday that she’d last been in his arms. Memories flooded back to her and her stomach did a peculiar little flip as her body responded in a way it hadn’t for years. She tensed, her reaction taking her by surprise.
He must have felt her stiffen because he let her go and stepped away.
Her heart raced as she looked him over. He looked just as good as she remembered. Maybe even better …
Dear Reader (#ua90c1c5d-3d09-5818-ba5b-53a430e5bad0),
I can’t believe that after twenty-one books this is my first story with a Christmas theme—and not just any Christmas but a white one!
White Christmases are a foreign concept to most Australians—for us it is the subject matter of fairytales and dreams. Although I’m sure most of us would say it is something we’d love to experience. Many years ago I was lucky enough to spend a winter in Canada. While minus seventeen degrees Celsius wasn’t quite what I had imagined, it was a novelty to listen to Christmas carols about reindeers, snow and sleigh bells while I was surrounded by ice and snow instead of at a hot, sandy beach.
I love Christmas, and I love summer, but there’s no denying that a wintry Christmas, complete with sleigh rides, open fires and fir trees decorated with lights and a dusting of snow, is very romantic—and I did enjoy setting the scene for Jess and Lucas’s own fairytale Christmas.
I hope you enjoy their story and, wherever you may be in the world, I wish you a very Merry Christmas!
Emily
EMILY FORBES is an award-winning author of Harlequin Mills & Boon® Medical Romance™. She has written over 20 books and has twice been a finalist in the Australian Romantic Book of the Year Award, which she won in 2013 for her novel Sydney Harbour Hospital: Bella’s Wishlist. You can get in touch with Emily at emilyforbes@internode.on.net (mailto:emilyforbes@internode.on.net), or visit her website at emily-forbesauthor.com (http://emily-forbesauthor.com).
His Little Christmas Miracle
Emily Forbes
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Emily Forbes won the 2013 Australian Romantic Book of the Year Award for her title Sydney Harbour Hospital: Bella’s Wishlist
Table of Contents
Cover (#u295a6012-9124-5f20-8368-8723e138c4c9)
Excerpt (#ub259f4a0-5ad2-52d2-bfd4-3c72075e9583)
Dear Reader
About the Author (#udc3d3907-078b-547f-b332-9d87fb1774e2)
Title Page (#u4c07c363-56b3-58b7-8e12-12dc425ba5c4)
Dedication
PROLOGUE (#ulink_54be437a-f5dc-506a-b536-444dc4d55c7c)
CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_718cbfc9-a5d2-57fa-939a-6f613c00f375)
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_0dfc7291-6e37-5c02-957a-3ddb32c8981e)
CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_abe83612-ecce-58dd-8038-b0127a280664)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
EPILOGUE (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
PROLOGUE (#ulink_1c8b7b10-436f-50bd-8101-b00f3ae1c2b0)
‘AND SO IT BEGINS,’ Kristie said as she stuck her head into her cousin’s bedroom.
‘So what begins?’ Jess asked as she tied off her plaits and pulled a red knitted hat over her white-blonde hair. She picked up her sunglasses and ski gloves and followed her cousin out of their family’s five-star apartment.
‘Operation Find Jess a Boyfriend,’ Kristie replied.
‘What! Why?’
‘Because you’re almost eighteen and you have no idea what you’ve been missing. It’s time to find you a gorgeous boy. One you won’t be able to resist, someone who can kiss their way into that ivory tower of yours and sweep you off your feet. We’ve talked about this.’
They had but Kristie was always talking about boys in one way or another and Jess mostly ignored her. Kristie was boy crazy—she fell in love every couple of weeks—but Jess was different. Most boys Jess met seemed immature and silly. She didn’t see what all the fuss was about. Seventeen- and eighteen-year-old boys were just that. Boys. And Jess wanted Prince Charming. And Prince Charming would arrive in his own time. She didn’t think Kristie was going to be able to conjure him up.
‘I think you’re forgetting something,’ Jess said as they dropped their skis onto the snow and clicked their boots into the bindings, ready to tackle their first day on the slopes of the Moose River Alpine Resort.
‘What’s that?’
‘I’d never be allowed to find my own boyfriend. Everyone I’ve ever dated has been a friend of the family.’
‘You’re not going to find him, I’m going to find him for you,’ Kristie explained. ‘And let’s be honest, you’ll never get laid if you only date guys your dad picks out. For one they’d be too terrified of what he’d do to them if he found out and, two, I’m sure your dad deliberately picks guys who are potentially gay.’
‘That’s not true,’ Jess retorted even as she wondered whether maybe it was.
But surely not? Some of those boys had kissed her and while the experiences certainly hadn’t been anything to rave about she’d always thought that was her fault. The boys had been cute enough, polite and polished in a typical trust-fund, private-school, country-club way, but not one of them had ever set her heart racing or made her feel breathless or excited or any of the things she’d expected to feel or wanted to feel, and she’d decided she was prepared to wait for the right one.
‘Maybe I don’t want a boyfriend,’ she added.
‘Maybe not, but you definitely need to get laid.’
‘Kristie!’ Jess was horrified.
‘You don’t know what you’re missing. That’s going to be my eighteenth birthday present to you. I’m going to find you a gorgeous boy and you’re going to get laid.’
Kristie laughed but Jess suspected she wasn’t joking. Kristie didn’t see anything wrong with advertising the fact that she wanted to hook up with a boy but Jess could think of nothing more embarrassing. Despite the fact that they spent so much time together their personalities were poles apart. Less than three months separated them in age but Kristie was far savvier than Jess, not to mention more forthright and confident.
‘This is your chance,’ Kristie continued. ‘We have one week before your parents arrive. One week with just my parents, who are nowhere near as strict. That’s seven days to check out all the hot guys who’ll just be hanging around the resort. You’ll never get a better opportunity to hook up with someone.’
‘Maybe I don’t want to hook up with anyone. Promise me you won’t set me up,’ Jess begged. Kristie’s seven-day deadline coincided with Jess’s eighteenth birthday. Her parents were coming up to the resort to celebrate it with her and once they arrived Jess knew she wouldn’t have a chance to be alone with a boy. Surely not even Kristie could make this happen in such a short time even if Jess was a willing participant. And while she wasn’t averse to the idea of the experience, she wanted it her way. She wanted the romance. She wanted to fall in love. She wanted to be seduced and made love to. Getting laid did not have the same ring. Getting laid was not the experience she was after.
But then she relaxed. She might get a chance to kiss a boy but even though Kristie’s parents were far more lenient than her own she still doubted that she would get an opportunity to lose her virginity.
‘We won’t be allowed out at night,’ she said when Kristie didn’t answer.
Kristie laughed again. ‘Do you think you’re only allowed to have sex after midnight?’ she called back over her shoulder as she skied over to join the lift line for the village quad chair. ‘No one is keeping tabs on us during the day. We could sneak off whenever we wanted.’
Sex during the day! Jess hadn’t considered that possibility. But it still wasn’t going to happen. As much as Kristie wanted her project to get off the ground, Jess couldn’t imagine getting naked in the middle of the day. In her fantasy she imagined soft lighting, perfumed candles, the right music and a comfortable bed. Preferably her own bed. With clean sheets and a man who adored her. A quick fumble in the middle of the day with some random guy from the resort, no matter how cute, just wasn’t the same thing.
‘Today is the beginning of the rest of your life. It’s time you had some fun,’ Kristie told her as she joined the line. ‘This place will be crawling with good-looking boys. We’ll be able to take our pick.’
Getting a boy’s attention was never a problem. Jess knew she was pretty enough. She was petite, only one hundred and sixty centimetres tall, and cheerleader pretty with a heart-shaped face, a chin she thought was maybe a bit too pointy, platinum-blonde hair, green eyes and porcelain skin. Finding a boy who ticked all her boxes was the tricky part. And if one did measure up then getting a chance to be alone was another challenge entirely.
Kristie’s joke about Jess’s ivory tower wasn’t completely inaccurate. Jess did have dreams of being swept off her feet, falling madly in love and being rescued from her privileged but restricted life. It seemed to be her best chance of escaping the rules and boundaries her parents imposed on her. She couldn’t imagine gaining her freedom any other way. She wasn’t rebellious enough to go against their wishes without very good reason.
But she couldn’t imagine falling in love at the age of seventeen and she wasn’t about to leap into bed with the first cute guy who presented her with the opportunity. That didn’t fit with her romantic notions at all. But although Jess could protest vigorously, it didn’t mean Kristie would give up. And she proved it with her next comment.
‘What about him?’ she asked as they waited for the quad chair.
Jess looked at the other skiers around them. It was just after nine in the morning. The girls had risen early, keen to enjoy their first morning on the slopes, but everyone else in the line was ten years younger or twenty years older than them. They were surrounded by families with young children. All the other teenagers were still in bed, and Jess couldn’t work out who Kristie was talking about.
Her cousin nudged her in the side. ‘There.’ She used her ski pole to point to the front of the line and Jess realised she meant the towies.
Two young men, who she guessed to be a year or two older than she was, worked the lift together. They both wore the uniform of the mountain resort, bright blue ski jackets with a band of fluorescent yellow around the upper arm and matching blue pants with another yellow band around the bottom of the legs. A row of white, snow-covered mountain peaks was stitched across the left chest of the jacket with ‘Moose River Alpine Resort’ emblazoned beneath. Their heads were uncovered and Jess could see one tall, fair-headed boy and another slightly shorter one with dark hair.
They had music pumping out of the stereo system at the base of the lift. It blasted the mountain, drowning out all other noise, including the engine of the chairlift. Jess watched as the boys danced to the beat as they lifted the little kids onto the chair and chatted and flirted with the mothers.
The fair one drew her attention. He moved easily, in time with the music, relaxed, unselfconscious and comfortable in his skin. Jess couldn’t ever imagine dancing in front of strangers in broad daylight. She wasn’t comfortable in a crowd. But there was something erotic about watching someone dance from a distance. She wouldn’t normally stare but she was emboldened by her anonymity. He didn’t know her and from behind the security of her dark sunglasses she could watch unobserved. Like a voyeur.
Kristie shuffled forward in the line and Jess followed but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the dancing towie. Watching the way his hips moved, she felt a stirring in her belly that she recognised as attraction, lust, desire. Watching him move, she could imagine how it would feel to dance with him, how it would feel to be held against him as his hips moved in time with hers. She found her hips swaying to the beat of the music, swaying in response to this stranger.
The song changed, snapping her out of her reverie, and she watched as he mimicked some rap moves that had the kids in front of her in stitches. The dark-haired one was chatting to a mother while the fair one lifted the woman’s child onto the seat before giving him a high five. He lifted his head as he laughed at something the child had said and suddenly he was looking straight at Jess.
Jess’s pulse throbbed and her stomach ached with a primal, lustful reaction as his eyes connected with hers. They were the most brilliant blue. A current tore through her body, sending a shock deep inside her all the way to her bones. She was aware of Kristie moving into position for the lift but she was riveted to the spot, her skis frozen to the snow. She was transfixed by eyes the colour of forget-me-nots.
‘Careful. Keep moving unless you want to get collected by the chair.’ It took Jess a second or two to realise he was talking to her. He had an Australian accent and in her bewildered and confused state it took her a moment to decipher it and make sense of his words. While she was translating his speech in her head he reached out and put one hand on her backside and pushed her forward until she was standing on the mat, ready to be swept up by the chairlift. Jess could swear she could feel the heat of his hand through the padding of her ski suit. She was still standing in place, staring at him, as the chair swung behind her and scooped her up, knocking into the back of her knees and forcing her to sit down with a thump.
‘Have a good one.’ He winked at her as she plopped into the seat and Jess felt herself blush but she kept eye contact. She couldn’t seem to look away. Let me off, she wanted to shout but when she opened her mouth nothing came out. Her eyesight worked but she appeared to have lost control of all her other senses. Including movement. She was enchanted, spellbound by a boy with eyes of blue.
‘They were cute,’ Kristie said as the lift carried them up the mountain and Jess forced herself to turn her head and look away. Maybe that would break the spell.
‘I guess,’ she said. She felt like she had a mouthful of marbles as she tried to feign indifference. Kristie would have a field day if she knew what Jess had really been thinking.
‘What do you think?’ Kristie asked. ‘Worth a second look?’
The girls had the quad chair to themselves but that didn’t mean Jess wanted to have this discussion. She knew if she agreed it would only serve to encourage Kristie’s foolish plan.
‘You’re not serious!’ she cried. ‘I don’t think they’re my type.’ She suspected she’d have nothing in common with them. She knew she wouldn’t be cool enough.
‘Why not?’
‘You know the reputation those guys have.’ The towies—usually an assortment of college students taking a gap year, locals and backpackers—had a reputation as ski-hard-and-party-harder people.
But Kristie was not about to be deterred. ‘So …’ she shrugged ‘… that all adds to the excitement and the challenge.’
‘I’m not going to hook up with a total stranger,’ Jess said. Obviously the lessons of her upbringing were more deeply ingrained in her than she’d realised. Her movements were carefully orchestrated, her whereabouts were always mapped out, and she’d never really had the opportunity to mingle with strangers. Prince Charming was going to have his work cut out for him.
‘I know your parents want to know where you are every minute of the day but they’re not here,’ Kristie replied, ‘and despite what they tell you, not every spontaneous situation is dangerous and not every stranger is a psychopath. I’m not saying you have to marry the guy, just have some fun.’
‘He looked too old for me,’ Jess protested.
‘You’re always complaining about how immature boys our age are. Maybe someone a bit older would suit you better. Shall we head back down? Take another look?’
The quad chair took them to the basin where all the other lifts operated from. No one skied straight back down to the bottom of this lift unless they’d forgotten something and needed to return to the village. Jess didn’t want to be that overtly interested. She needed time to think. ‘No. I want to ski,’ she said as they were deposited in the basin.
The slopes were quiet at this hour of the day and it wasn’t long before Kristie decided she was overheating from all the exercise and needed to discard some layers. Jess suspected it was all an act designed to invent a reason to return to their apartment and hence to the quad chair, but she was prepared to give in. She knew she didn’t have much choice. She could have elected to stay up on the mountain but they had a rule that no one skied alone and she had to admit she was just a tiny bit curious to have another look at the boy with the forget-me-not-blue eyes. After all, there was no harm in looking.
But by the time they had changed their outfits and returned to the quad chair there were two different towies on duty. Disappointment surged through Jess. It was silly to feel that way about a random stranger but there had been something hypnotic about him. Something captivating.
They rode the lift back to the basin where they waited in line for another quad chair to take them to the top of the ski run. As they neared the front the two original towies appeared, each with a snowboard strapped to one foot as they slipped into the singles row and skated to the front of the line.
‘G’day. Mind if we join you?’
Jess and Kristie had no time to reply before the boys had slotted in beside them and Jess found herself sandwiched between her cousin and the boy with the tousled, blond hair and amazing blue eyes. He shifted slightly on the seat, turning a little to face her, and the movement pushed his thigh firmly against hers.
‘Have you had a good morning?’ he asked her. ‘You were up at sparrow’s.’
‘Pardon?’ Jess frowned. His voice was deep and his accent was super-sexy but the combination of his stunning eyes and his Aussie drawl made it difficult to decipher his words. Or maybe it was just the fact that she was sitting thigh to thigh with a cute boy who was messing with her head. Either way, she couldn’t think straight and she could make no sense of what he was saying.
‘Sparrow’s fart,’ he said with a grin before he elaborated. ‘It means you were up really early.’
His blue eyes sparkled as he smiled at her but this time it was the twin dimples in his cheeks that set Jess’s heart racing. His smile was infectious and she couldn’t help but return it as she said, ‘You remember us?’ She was surprised and flattered. The boys would have seen hundreds of people already today.
‘Of course. Don’t tell me you don’t remember me?’ He put both hands over his heart and looked so dramatically wounded that Jess laughed. She’d have to watch out—he was cute and charming with more than a hint of mischief about him.
And, of course, she remembered him. She doubted she’d ever forget him, but she knew his type and she wasn’t about to stroke his ego by telling him that his eyes were the perfect colour—unforgettable, just like him. She knew all the towies were cut from the same cloth, young men who would spend the winter working in the resort and then spend their time off skiing and drinking and chasing girls. They would flirt with dozens of girls in one day, trying their luck, until eventually their persistence would pay off and they’d have a date for the night and, no matter how cute he was, she didn’t want to be just another girl in the long line that would fall at his feet.
‘Well, just so you don’t forget us again, I’m Lucas and that’s Sam,’ he said, nodding towards his mate, who was sitting on the other side of Kristie.
‘I didn’t say I’d forgotten you,’ Jess admitted. ‘I remember your accent.’ But she wasn’t prepared to admit she remembered his dancing or had been unable to forget his cornflower-blue eyes. ‘You’re Australian?’
‘Yes, and, before you ask, I don’t have a pet kangaroo.’
‘I wasn’t going to ask that.’
‘Really?’
‘I might not have been to Australia but I know a bit about it. I’m not completely ignorant.’
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply that,’ Lucas backtracked.
‘It’s okay.’ She’d stopped getting offended every time people treated her like a cheerleader but while she was one she was also a science major. ‘I know most of you don’t have pet kangaroos and I know you eat that horrible black spread on your toast and live alongside loads of poisonous snakes, spiders and man-eating sharks. Actually …’ she smiled ‘… I’m not surprised you left.’
Lucas laughed. ‘I’m not here permanently. I’m only here for the winter. It’s summer back home. I’ll stay until the end of February when uni starts again.’
‘So where is the best place to party in the village?’ Kristie interrupted. ‘What’s popular this season?’
Kristie knew the village as well as anyone—she didn’t need advice—but Jess knew it was just her cousin’s way of flirting. To Kristie that came as naturally as breathing.
‘How old are you?’ Sam replied.
‘Nineteen,’ she fibbed. She was only three months older than Jess and had only recently turned eighteen but nineteen was the legal drinking age.
‘The T-Bar is always good,’ Sam told them, mentioning one of the après-ski bars that had been around for ever but was always popular.
‘But tonight we’re having a few mates around,’ Lucas added. ‘We’re sharing digs with a couple of Kiwis and Friday nights are party nights. You’re welcome to join us.’
‘Thanks, that sounds like fun,’ Kristie replied, making it sound as though they’d be there when Jess knew they wouldn’t. Which was a pity. It did sound like it might be fun but there was no way they’d be allowed out with strangers, with boys who hadn’t been vetted and approved. Although Kristie’s parents weren’t as strict as hers, Jess’s aunt and uncle knew the rules Jess had to live by and she didn’t think they’d bend them that far.
‘We’re in the Moose River staff apartments. You know the ones? On Slalom Street. Apartment fifteen.’
‘We know where they are.’
They were almost at the top of the ski run now and Jess felt a surge of disappointment that the ride was coming to an end. The boys were going snowboarding and Jess assumed they’d be heading to the half-pipe or the more rugged terrain on the other side of the resort. They wouldn’t be skiing the same part of the mountain as she and Kristie.
She pretended to look out at the ski runs when she was actually looking at Lucas from behind the safety of her sunglasses. She wanted to commit his face to memory. He was cute and friendly but she doubted she’d ever see him again. He wasn’t her Prince Charming.
CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_3eca9a2a-edfd-5ce6-bd26-f4c4984e95c7)
JESS ZIPPED UP her ski jacket as she stood in the twilight. She was back.
Back in the place where her life had changed for ever.
Back in Moose River.
She remembered standing not far from this exact spot while Kristie had told her that day marked the beginning of the rest of her life, but she hadn’t expected her cousin’s words to be quite so prophetic. That had been the day she’d met Lucas and her life had very definitely changed. All because of a boy.
Jess shoved her hands into her pockets and stood still as she took in her surroundings. The mountain village was still very familiar but it was like an echo of a memory from a lifetime ago. A very different lifetime from the one she was living now. She took a deep breath as she tried to quell her nerves.
When she had seen the advertisement for the position of clinic nurse at the Moose River Medical Centre it had seemed like a sign and she’d wondered why she hadn’t thought of it sooner. It had seemed like the perfect opportunity to start living the life she wanted but that didn’t stop the butterflies in her stomach.
It’ll be fine, she told herself as she tried to get the butterflies to settle, once we adjust.
In the dark of the evening the mountain resort looked exactly like it always had. Like a fairy-tale village. The streets had been cleared of the early season snow and it lay piled in small drifts by the footpaths. Light dotted the hillside, glowing yellow as it spilled from the windows of the hotels and lodges. She could smell wood smoke and pine needles. The fragrance of winter. Of Christmas. Of Lucas.
She’d have to get over that. She couldn’t afford to remember him every few minutes now that she was back here. That wasn’t what this move was about.
In a childhood marked by tragedy and, at times, fear and loneliness, Moose River had been one of the two places where she’d been truly happy, the only place in the end, and the only place where she’d been free. She had returned now, hoping to rediscover that feeling again. And while she couldn’t deny that Moose River was also full of bittersweet memories, she hoped it could still weave its magic for her.
She could hear the bus wheezing and shuddering behind her, complaining as the warmth from its air-conditioning escaped into the cold mountain air. It was chilly but at least it wasn’t raining. She was so sick of rain. While Vancouver winters were generally milder than in other Canadian cities there was a trade-off and that was rain. While she was glad she didn’t have to shovel snow out of her driveway every morning, she was tired of the wet.
Jess could hear laughter and music. The sound floated across to the car park from the buildings around her, filling the still night air. She could hear the drone of the snow-making machines on the mountain and she could see the lights of the graders as they went about their night-time business, grooming the trails. She glanced around her, looking to see what had changed and what had stayed the same in the seven years since she had last been here. The iconic five-star Moose River Hotel still had pride of place on the hill overlooking the village but there were several new buildings as well, including a stunning new hotel that stood at the opposite end of Main Street from the bus depot.
The new hotel was perched on the eastern edge of the plaza where Main Street came to an end at the ice-skating rink. There had been a building there before, smaller and older. Jess couldn’t recall exactly what it had been but this modern replacement looked perfect. The hotel was too far away for her to be able to read the sign, although she could see the tiny figures of skaters gliding around the rink, twirling under the lights as snow began to fall.
She lifted her face to the sky. Snowflakes fell on her cheeks and eyelashes, melting as soon as they touched the warmth of her skin. She stuck out her tongue, just like she’d done as a child, and caught the flakes, feeling them immediately turn to water.
But she wasn’t a child any more. She was twenty-four years old, almost twenty-five. Old enough to have learned that life was not a fairy tale. She didn’t want a fairy-tale ending; she didn’t believe in those any more but surely it wasn’t too late to find happiness? She refused to believe that wasn’t possible.
Seven years ago she’d had the world at her feet. She’d been young and full of expectation, anticipation and excitement. Anything had seemed possible in that winter. In the winter that she’d met Lucas. In the winter that she’d fallen in love.
Sometimes it seemed like yesterday. At other times a lifetime ago. On occasions it even seemed like it was someone else’s story but she knew it was hers. She was reminded of that every day. But as hard as it had been she wasn’t sure that she would do anything differently if she had her time again.
She could still remember the first moment she had laid eyes on him. It was less than two hundred metres from where she now stood. She’d been seventeen years old, young and pretty, shy but with the self-assurance that a privileged lifestyle gave to teenagers. In her mind her future had already been mapped out—surely it would be one of happiness, wealth, prosperity and pleasure. That was what she and her friends, all of whom came from wealthy families, had been used to and they’d had no reason to think things would change. She’d been so naive.
At seventeen she’d had no clue about real life. She’d been happy with her dreams. Her biggest problem had been having parents who’d loved her and wanted to protect her from the world, and her biggest dream had been to experience the world she hadn’t been allowed to taste.
To her, Lucas had represented freedom. He’d been her chance to experience the world but the freedom she’d tasted had been short-lived. And the real world was a lot tougher than she’d anticipated. Reality had slapped her in the face big time and once she’d been out in that world she’d found there had been no turning back.
Reality was a bitch and it had certainly killed her naivety. She’d grown up awfully quickly and her clueless teenage years were a long way behind her now.
She was still standing in the car park, mentally reminiscing about that winter, when an SUV pulled up in front of her at a right angle to the bus. The driver put down his window. ‘Jess? Jess Johnson?’ he said.
Jess shook her head, clearing the cobwebs from her mind. ‘Sorry,’ the driver said, misinterpreting the shake of her head. ‘I’m looking for a Jess Johnson.’
‘That’s me.’
The driver climbed out of the car. ‘I’m Cameron Baker,’ he introduced himself as he shook Jess’s hand. Cameron and his wife, Ellen, owned the Moose River Medical Centre. He was Jess’s new boss. ‘Let’s get your gear loaded up. Is this everything?’
Jess looked down at her feet. The bus driver had unloaded her belongings. Three suitcases and half a dozen boxes were piled beside her. All the necessities for two lives.
‘That’s it,’ she replied. ‘I’ll just get Lily.’
She climbed back into the bus to rouse her sleeping daughter.
She scooped Lily up and carried her from the bus. She was keen to introduce her to Moose River but that would have to wait until tomorrow.
This was Lily’s first visit to the mountain resort. Jess had avoided bringing Lily here before now. She’d made countless excuses, telling herself Lily was too young to appreciate it, but she knew that was a lie. Jess had been skiing since she was four and Lily was now six and there were plenty of other activities here to keep young children entertained for days. Lack of money had been another excuse and even though Jess hadn’t been able to afford to bring her that was still only part of the truth. The reality was that Jess hadn’t wanted to return. She hadn’t wanted to face the past. She’d thought the memories might be too painful. But it was time to give Lily a sense of where she had come from. It was time to come back.
Cameron loaded their bags and Jess climbed into the back of the vehicle, cradling a sleepy Lily in her arms as he drove them the short distance to their accommodation. The job came with a furnished apartment, which had been one of a number of things that had attracted Jess to the position, but she hadn’t thought to enquire about any specifics, she’d just been relieved to know it had been organised for her and she was stunned when Cameron pulled to a stop in front of the Moose River staff apartments.
She picked Lily up again—fortunately Lily was small for her age and Jess could still manage to carry her—and followed Cameron inside the building, counting off the apartment numbers as they walked down the corridor. Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen. Cameron’s steps started to slow and Jess held her breath. It couldn’t be. Not the same apartment.
‘This is you. Number sixteen.’
She let out her breath as Cameron parked the luggage trolley, loaded with boxes and bags, and unlocked the door. There’d been a brief moment when she’d thought she might be staying in apartment fifteen but she might just be able to handle being one apartment away from her past.
She carried Lily inside and put her on the bed.
‘I’m sorry, they were supposed to split the bed and make up two singles,’ Cameron apologised when he saw the bedding configuration.
‘It doesn’t matter,’ Jess replied. ‘I’ll fix it tomorrow.’ She couldn’t be bothered now. She had enough to think about without fussing about the bed. She and Lily could manage for the night.
‘Ellen has left some basic supplies for you in the fridge. She promised me it would be enough to get you through breakfast in the morning,’ Cameron said, as he brought in the rest of Jess’s luggage.
‘That’s great, thank you.’
‘I’ll let you get settled, then, and we’ll see you at the clinic at eleven tomorrow to introduce you to everyone and give you an orientation.’
Jess nodded but she was having trouble focusing. She was restless. There were so many memories. Too many. More than she’d expected. Thank goodness Lily was dozing as that gave her a chance to shuffle through the thoughts that were crowding her brain. She paced around the apartment once Cameron had gone but it was tiny and in no more than a few steps she’d covered the kitchen and the dining area and the lounge. All that was left was the bedroom and a combined bathroom-laundry. There wasn’t much to see and even less to do as she didn’t want to disturb Lily by beginning to unpack.
She crossed the living room, opened the balcony doors and stepped outside. Night had fallen but a full moon hung low in the sky and moonlight reflected off the snow and lit up the village as if it was broad daylight. To her left was the balcony of unit fifteen, the two-bedroom apartment that Lucas had stayed in seven years ago. The apartment where she and Kristie had gone on the night of the party was only metres away. She could see the exact spot where she’d been standing when Lucas had first kissed her.
He had been her first love. He had been her Prince Charming. She’d fallen hard and fast but when he’d kissed her that first time and she’d given him her heart she hadn’t known there would be no turning back.
Now, at twenty-four, she didn’t believe in Prince Charming any more.
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_54c4f7a1-2da5-57f9-939f-9b112277db35)
‘MUMMY?’
The sound of Lily’s voice startled her. Jess was still on the balcony, standing with her fingers pressed against her lips as she recalled the first kiss she and Lucas had shared. She shivered as she realised she was freezing. She had no idea how long she’d been standing out there in the cold.
She didn’t have time for reminiscing. She had responsibilities.
Lily had wandered out of the bedroom and Jess could see her standing in the living room, looking around at the unfamiliar surroundings. She was sucking on her thumb and had her favourite toy, a soft, grey koala, tucked under one arm. With white-blonde hair and a heart-shaped face she was the spitting image of Jess, just as Jess was the image of her own mother.
‘I’m hungry,’ Lily said, as Jess came in from the balcony and closed the doors and curtains behind her.
‘You are?’ She was surprised. Lily wasn’t often hungry. She was a fussy eater and didn’t have a good appetite and Jess often struggled to find food that appealed to her daughter, although fortunately she would eat her vegetables.
‘Let’s see what we’ve got.’ Jess opened the fridge, hoping Cameron had been right when he’d said that his wife had left some basics for them. She could see bread, milk, eggs, cheese and jam.
‘How about toasted cheese sandwiches for dinner?’ she said. ‘Or eggs and soldier toast?’
‘Eggs and soldier toast.’
Jess put the eggs on to boil and then found Lily’s pyjamas. By the time she was changed the eggs were done. Lily managed to finish the eggs and one soldier. Jess slathered the remaining soldier toasts with jam and polished them off herself.
Lily was fast asleep within minutes of climbing back into bed, but even though Jess was exhausted she found she couldn’t get comfortable. Lily, who was a restless sleeper at the best of times, was tossing and turning in the bed beside her and disturbing her even further. She would have to split the bed apart tomorrow; she couldn’t stand another night like this.
She got up and put the kettle on, hoping for the hundredth time that she’d made the right decision in moving to Moose River.
It seemed surreal to think that returning to the place where things had started to go wrong had been the best solution, but she’d felt she hadn’t had much choice. She’d needed a job with regular hours and this one had the added bonus of accommodation, which meant she could be home with Lily before and after school and she wouldn’t need to leave Lily with a childminder or take extra shifts to cover the rent or babysitting expenses. She also hoped that living in Moose River would give Lily the opportunity to have the childhood she herself had missed out on. A childhood free from worry, a childhood of fun and experiences.
She carried her decaf coffee over to the balcony doors. She drew back the curtains and rested her head on the glass as she gazed out at the moonlit night and let the memories flood back. Of course they were all about Lucas. She couldn’t seem to keep thoughts of him out of her head. She hadn’t expected Moose River to stir her memory quite so much.
What would he be looking at right now? Where would he be?
Probably living at Bondi Beach, running a chain of organic cafés with his gorgeous bikini-model wife, she thought. They would have three blue-eyed children and together his family would look like an advertisement for the wonders of fresh air and exercise and healthy living.
But maybe life hadn’t been so kind to him. Why should it have been? Why should he be glowing with health and happiness?
Perhaps he was working in a hotel restaurant in the Swiss Alps and had grown fat from over-indulging in cheese and chocolate. He could be overweight with a receding hairline. Would that make her feel better?
What was it she wanted to feel better about? she wondered. It didn’t matter where Lucas was or what he was doing. That was history. She’d woken up to herself in the intervening years. Woken up to real life. And he wasn’t part of that life. He was fantasy, not reality. Not her reality anyway.
Jess shook herself. She needed to get a grip. Her situation was entirely of her own choosing and she wouldn’t change it for anything, not if it meant losing Lily.
She sighed as she finished her coffee. Her father had been right. Lucas hadn’t been her Prince Charming and he wasn’t ever coming to rescue her. Wherever he had ended up, she imagined it was far from here.
Their first fortnight in Moose River went smoothly. Lily settled in well at her new school. She was thriving and Jess was thrilled. She loved the after-school ski lessons and Jess was looking forward to getting out on the slopes with her this weekend and seeing how much she’d improved in just ten days. It was amazing how quickly children picked up the basics.
She wondered about Lily’s fearless attitude. If Lily wanted something she went after it, so different from Jess’s reticence. Was that nature or nurture?
Jess had vowed to give Lily freedom—freedom to make her own friends and experience a childhood where she was free to test the boundaries without constant supervision or rules. A childhood without the constant underlying sense that things could, would and did go wrong and where everything had to be micromanaged.
Moose River was, so far, proving to be the perfect place for Lily to have a relaxed childhood and Jess was beginning to feel like she’d made a good decision. Lily had made friends quickly and her new best friend was Annabel, whose parents owned the patisserie next to their apartment building. By the second week the girls had a routine where Lily would go home with Annabel after ski school and have a hot chocolate at the bakery while they waited for Jess to finish work. Jess had been nervous about this at first but she’d reminded herself that this was a benefit of moving to a small community. She’d wanted that sense of belonging. That sense that people would look out for each other. She wanted somewhere where she and Lily would fit in.
Initially she’d felt like they were taking advantage of Annabel’s mother but Fleur was adamant that it was no bother. Annabel had two older siblings and Fleur insisted that having Lily around was making life easier for everyone as Annabel was too busy to annoy the others. Jess hated asking for favours, she preferred to feel she could manage by herself even if she knew that wasn’t always the case, but she was grateful for Fleur’s assistance.
Her new job as a clinic nurse was going just as smoothly as Lily’s transition. Her role was easy. She helped with splints, dressings, immunisations and did general health checks—cholesterol, blood pressure and the like. It was routine nursing, nothing challenging, but that suited her. It was low stress and by the end of the two weeks she was feeling confident that coming here had been the right decision for her and Lily.
Not having to work weekends or take extra shifts to cover rent or child-care costs was paying dividends. She could be home with Lily in time for dinner and spend full, uninterrupted days with her over the weekends. It was heaven. Jess adored her daughter and she’d dreamt of being able to spend quality time with her. Just the two of them. It was something she hadn’t experienced much in her own childhood and she was determined that Lily would have that quality time with her. After all, they only had each other.
She checked her watch as she tidied her clinic room and got ready to go home. Kristie was coming up for the weekend—in fact, she should already be here. She was changing the sheet on the examination bed when Donna, the practice manager, burst into the room.
‘Jess, do you think you could possibly work a little later today? We’ve had a call from the new hotel, one of their guests is almost thirty-six weeks pregnant and she’s having contractions. It might just be Braxton-Hicks but they’d like someone to take a look and all the doctors are busy. Do you think you could go?’
‘Let me make some arrangements for Lily and then I’ll get over there,’ Jess said when Donna finally paused for breath. Jess was happy to go, provided she could sort Lily out. She rang Kristie as she swapped her shoes for boots and explained the situation as she grabbed her coat and the medical bag that Donna had given to her.
Thank God Kristie was in town, she thought as she rang Fleur to tell her of the change in plans. Of course, Fleur then offered to help too but Jess didn’t want to push the friendship at this early stage. She explained that Kristie would collect Lily and take her home. She could concentrate on the emergency now. It was always a balancing act, juggling parenting responsibilities with her work, but it seemed she might have the support network here that she’d lacked anywhere else.
Jess hurried the few blocks to Main Street. The five-star, boutique Moose River Crystal Lodge, where her patient was a guest, was the new hotel on the Plaza, the one she’d noticed on the night they’d arrived. She and Lily had walked past it several times since. It was hard to miss. It wasn’t huge or ostentatious but it was in a fabulous position, and she’d heard it was beautifully appointed inside.
In the late-afternoon light, the setting sun cast a glow onto the facade of the lodge, making its marble facade shine a pale silver. On the southern side of the main entrance was an elevated outdoor seating area, which would be the perfect spot for an afternoon drink on a sunny day; you could watch the activities in the plaza from the perfect vantage point.
A wide footpath connected the lodge to the plaza and in front of the hotel stood a very placid horse who was hitched to a smart red wooden sleigh. Lily had begged to go for a ride when they had walked past earlier in the week but Jess had fibbed and told her it was for hotel guests only because she doubted she could afford the treat. She had meant to find out how much it cost, thinking maybe it could be a Christmas surprise for Lily, but she had forgotten all about it until now.
She walked past the horse and sleigh and tried to ignore the feeling of guilt that was so familiar to her as a single, working mother, struggling to make ends meet, but walking into the lobby just reinforced how much her life had changed from one of privilege to one much harder but she reminded herself it was of her own choosing.
The lobby was beautifully decorated in dark wood. Soft, caramel-hued leather couches were grouped around rich Persian rugs and enormous crystal chandeliers hung from the timber ceiling. It looked expensive and luxurious but welcoming. Although it was still four weeks until Christmas, festive red, green and silver decorations adorned the room and a wood fire warmed the restaurant where wide glass doors could open out onto the outside terrace. Jess tried not to gawk as she crossed the parquet floor. She’d seen plenty of fancy hotels but this one had a warmth and a charm about it that was rare. Maybe because it was small, but it felt more like an exclusive private ski lodge than a hotel.
She shrugged out of her coat as she approached the reception desk.
‘I’m Jess Johnson, from the Moose River Medical Centre. Someone called about a woman in labour?’
The young girl behind the desk nodded. ‘Yes, Mrs Bertillon. She’s in room three zero five on the third floor. I’ll just call the hotel manager to take you up.’
‘It’s okay, I’ll find it.’ Jess could see the elevators tucked into a short hallway alongside the desk. The hotel was small so she’d have no trouble finding the room. She didn’t want to waste time waiting.
She stabbed at the button for the elevator. The doors slid open and she stepped inside.
Jess found room 305 and knocked on the door. It swung open under her hand. There was a bathroom to her left with a wardrobe on the right, forming a short passage. Jess could see a small sofa positioned in front of a large picture window but that was it.
She called out a greeting. ‘Mrs Bertillon?’
‘Come in.’ The faceless voice sounded strong and Jess relaxed. That didn’t sound like a woman in labour.
A woman appeared at the end of the passage. She was a hotel employee judging by her uniform. ‘She’s through here.’ The same voice. This wasn’t Mrs. Bertillon. ‘I’m Margaret. I was keeping an eye on Aimee until you got here,’ she explained, and Jess could see the relief on her face. She’d obviously been waiting nervously for reinforcements. ‘I’ll wait outside now but you can call for me if there’s anything you need,’ she said, hurriedly abdicating responsibility.
Jess introduced herself to Aimee and got her medical history as she washed her hands and then wrapped the blood-pressure cuff around her patient’s left arm. This was her first pregnancy, Aimee told her, and she’d had no complications. Her blood pressure had been fine, no gestational diabetes, no heart problems. ‘I’ve had some back pain today and now these contractions but otherwise I’ve been fine.’
‘Sharp pain?’ asked Jess.
‘No. Dull,’ Aimee explained, ‘more like backache, I suppose. Ow …’
‘Is that a contraction now?’
Aimee nodded and Jess looked at her watch, timing the contraction. She could see the contraction ripple across the woman’s abdomen as the muscles tightened. This wasn’t Braxton-Hicks.
‘Your waters haven’t broken?’ she asked, and Aimee shook her head in reply.
Once the contraction had passed she checked the baby’s size and position, pleased to note the baby wasn’t breech. But she wasn’t so pleased when she discovered that Aimee’s cervix was already seven centimetres dilated. Aimee was in labour and there was nothing she could do to stop it.
‘Where is your husband?’ Jess asked. She’d noticed a wedding ring on Aimee’s finger but wondered where Mr Bertillon was.
‘He’s out skiing,’ Aimee replied. ‘Why?’
Jess smiled. ‘I thought he might like to be here to meet your baby.’
‘It’s coming now?’
‘Mmm-hmm.’ Jess nodded. ‘You’re about to become parents.’
‘Oh, my God.’
‘Does your husband have a mobile phone with him? Would you like me to call him for you?’ Jess asked.
‘No. I can do it. I think.’ Aimee put a hand on her distended belly as another contraction subsided. ‘If I hurry. Jean-Paul will be surprised. This was supposed to be our last holiday before the baby arrived and it wasn’t supposed to end like this.’ She gave a wry smile. ‘Maybe we’ve been having too much sex. Is it true that can bring on labour?’
Jess couldn’t remember the last time she’d had too much sex. She could barely remember the last time she’d had any sex. She nodded. ‘But not usually at this stage. I think your baby has just decided to join the party.’ She concentrated on Aimee. Thinking about sex always made her think about Lucas, especially since she was in Moose River, but now wasn’t the time for daydreaming. Aimee needed all her attention.
Aimee’s cell phone was beside the bed. Jess passed it to her and then picked up the hotel phone and asked for an ambulance to be sent. Aimee needed to go to the nearest hospital that had premature birthing facilities, which meant leaving Moose River.
Another contraction gripped Aimee and Jess waited as she panted and puffed her way through it. Jess checked her watch. The contractions were two minutes apart. How long would the ambulance take? She had no idea.
Once that contraction had passed and Jess saw Aimee press the buttons on her phone to call her husband she went to gather towels from the bathroom. She stuck her head out into the corridor and asked Margaret to fetch more towels from Housekeeping.
‘How did it go? Did you reach Jean-Paul?’ Jess asked when she returned to Aimee’s side.
‘No. It goes straight to his message service.’ Aimee gasped and grabbed her belly as another contraction ripped through her. ‘He’s gone skiing with a snowcat group so I can only assume he’s out in the wilderness and out of range.’
Margaret came into the room with an armful of towels and Jess asked if there was any way of getting a message to Jean-Paul.
‘Yes, of course,’ Margaret replied. ‘Will you be all right on your own with Aimee while I organise that?’
Jess nodded. Margaret wasn’t going to be of any further use. It was the ambos Jess wanted to see. Jess tucked several of the towels underneath Aimee. She knew it was probably a futile exercise but if Aimee’s waters broke she was hoping to limit the damage to the hotel bedding. Another contraction gripped Aimee and this one was accompanied by a gush of fluid. Fortunately it wasn’t a big flood and Jess suspected that meant the baby’s head was well down into Aimee’s pelvis.
Jess used the time between contractions to check Aimee’s cervix. Eight centimetres dilated. This was really happening. If the ambos didn’t hurry she would have to deliver the baby. What would she need?
She’d need to keep the baby warm. She put a couple of the clean towels back on the heated towel rail in the bathroom.
Aimee’s cries were getting louder and she had a sheen of perspiration across her forehead. ‘I want to push,’ she called out.
‘Hang on,’ Jess cautioned, and she checked progress again.
Oh no. The baby’s head was crowning already.
Jess felt for the cord. It felt loose and she just hoped it wasn’t around the baby’s neck.
‘Okay, Aimee. This is it. You can push with the next contraction.’
Jess saw the contraction ripple across Aimee’s skin. ‘Okay, bend your knees and push!’
The baby’s head appeared and Jess was able to turn the baby to deliver one shoulder with the next contraction and the baby slid into her hands. ‘It’s a girl,’ she told Aimee. Jess rubbed the baby’s back, checking to make sure her little chest rose and fell with a breath and listening for her first cry before she placed her on Aimee’s chest and fetched a warm towel. She took one-minute Apgar readings and clamped the cord just as the ambos arrived. Relief flooded through her. She’d done the easy bit, now they could finish off.
‘Congratulations, Aimee.’
‘Thank you.’ Aimee’s smile was gentle but she barely lifted her eyes from her baby. She was oblivious to the work the ambos were doing. Nothing could distract her from the miracle of new life.
Jess could remember that feeling, that vague, blissful state of euphoria. She tidied her things, packing them into her bag as she thought about Lily’s birth. Like Aimee, she’d done it without the baby’s father there.
She hadn’t wanted to do it alone but she hadn’t had a lot of choice. She hadn’t expected their relationship to end so suddenly. She hadn’t expected a lot of things.
By the time she’d discovered she was pregnant the ski fields had closed for the season and Lily’s father had been long gone, and despite her best efforts she hadn’t been able to find him. So she’d done it alone and she’d done her best.
She snapped her medical bag closed with shaky hands. Now that the drama was over her body shook with the adrenalin that coursed through her system. She stripped the bed as the ambos transferred Aimee and her baby onto a stretcher and wheeled them out the door.
She could hear voices in the hallway and assumed that Jean-Paul had been located. That was quick. She could hear an Australian accent too. That was odd. Jean-Paul didn’t sound like an Australian name. She listened more carefully.
A male voice, an Australian accent. It sounded a lot like Lucas.
Her stomach flipped and her heart began to race. She was being ridiculous. It had been seven years since she’d heard his voice, as if she’d remember exactly how he sounded. She only imagined it was him because he’d been in her thoughts.
It wouldn’t be him. It couldn’t be him.
But she couldn’t resist taking a look.
She picked up the medical bag and stepped out into the hallway. The ambos had halted the stretcher and a man stood with his back to her, talking to Aimee.
‘We’ve got a message to your husband,’ he was saying. ‘We’ll get him back as quickly as possible and I’ll make sure he gets brought to the hospital.’
The man was tall with broad shoulders and tousled blond hair. Jess could see narrow hips and long, lean legs. His voice was deep with a sexy Aussie drawl. Her heart beat quickened, pumping the blood around her body, leaving her feeling light-headed and faint.
It was him. It was most definitely him.
She steadied herself with one hand against the wall as she prayed that her knees wouldn’t buckle.
It was Lucas.
She didn’t need to see his face. She knew it and her body knew it. Every one of her cells was straining towards him. Seven years may have passed but her body hadn’t forgotten him and neither had she. She recognised the length of his legs, the shape of his backside, the sound of his voice.
The ambos were pushing the stretcher towards the elevator by the time she found her voice.
‘Lucas?’
CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_bfd9a929-6393-5a25-b88c-a03c8371fd34)
JESS FELT AS if the ground was tipping beneath her feet. She felt as if at any moment she might slide to the floor. She could see the scene playing out in front of her, almost as though she was a spectator watching from the sidelines. She could see herself wobbling in the foreground and she could see Lucas standing close enough to touch. If she could just reach out a hand she could feel him. See if he really was real. But she couldn’t move. Life seemed to be going on around her as she watched, too overcome to react.
He turned towards her at the sound of his name.
‘JJ?’
She hadn’t been called JJ in years. It had been his nickname for her and no one else had ever used it.
She couldn’t believe he was standing in front of her. Lucas, undeniably Lucas. He still had the same brilliant, forget-me-not-blue eyes and the same infectious, dimpled smile and he was smiling now as he stepped forward and wrapped her in a hug. She fitted perfectly into his embrace and it felt like it was only yesterday that she’d last been in his arms. Memories flooded back to her and her stomach did a peculiar little flip as her body responded in a way it hadn’t for years. She tensed, taken by surprise by both his spontaneous gesture and her reaction.
He must have felt her stiffen because he let her go and stepped away.
Her eyes took in the sight of him. He looked fabulous. The years had been kind to him. Better than they’d been to her, she feared. His hair was cut shorter but was still sandy blond and thick, and his oval face was tanned, making his blue eyes even more striking. He had the shadow of a beard on his jaw, more brown than blond. That was new. He wouldn’t have had that seven years ago, but he hadn’t got fat. Or bald.
Her heart raced as she looked him over. He was wearing dark trousers and a pale blue business shirt. It was unbuttoned at the collar, no tie, and he had his sleeves rolled up to expose his forearms. He looked just as good, maybe even better, than she remembered.
Her initial surprise was immediately followed by pleasure but that was then, just as quickly, cancelled out by panic. What was he doing here? He wasn’t supposed to be here. He was supposed to be in Europe or Australia. Eating cheese in Switzerland or surfing at Bondi Beach. He wasn’t supposed to be in Canada and especially not in Moose River. She was the one who belonged here. She was the Canadian.
‘What are you doing here?’ she asked him.
‘I’m the hotel manager.’
‘In Moose River?’
‘It would seem so.’ He grinned at her and her stomach did another flip as heat seared through her, scorching her insides. He didn’t seem nearly as unsettled as she was about their unexpected encounter. But, then, he’d always adapted quickly to new situations. He seemed to thrive on change, whereas she would rather avoid it.
The ambos and Aimee and her baby had disappeared and a second elevator pinged as it reached their floor.
‘Are you finished up here?’ he asked.
Jess nodded. It seemed she’d lost the power of speech. It seemed as though Lucas had the same effect on her now as he’d had seven years ago.
‘I’ll ride down with you,’ he said.
He waited for her to enter the elevator. She tucked herself into the corner by the door, feeling confused. Conflicted. She wasn’t sure what to think. She wasn’t sure how she felt. One part of her wanted to throw herself into his arms and never let him go. Another wanted to run and hide. Another wanted desperately to know what he was thinking.
Lucas stepped in and reached across in front of her to press the button to take them down to the lobby. She hadn’t remembered to push the button, so distracted by him she wasn’t thinking clearly.
He was standing close. She’d expected him to lean against the opposite wall but he didn’t move away as the elevator descended. If she reached out a hand she could touch him without even straightening her elbow.
He was watching her with his forget-me-not-blue eyes and she couldn’t take her eyes off him. His familiar scent washed over her—he smelt like winter in the mountains, cool and crisp with the clean, fresh tang of pine needles.
The air was humming, drowning out the silence that fell between them. She clenched her fists at her sides to stop herself from reaching out. She could feel herself being pulled towards him. Even after all this time her body longed for his touch. She craved him.
They stood, for what seemed like ages, just looking at each other.
‘It’s good to see you, JJ.’ His voice was a whisper, barely breaking the silence that surrounded them.
He stretched out one hand and Jess held her breath. His fingers caught the ends of her hair and his thumb brushed across her cheek. The contact set her nerves on fire, every inch of her responding to his touch. It felt like every one of her cells had a memory and every memory was Lucas.
‘You’ve cut your hair,’ he said.
‘Many times,’ she replied.
Lucas laughed and the sound was loud enough to burst the bubble of awareness and desire and longing that had enveloped her.
She didn’t know how she’d managed to make a joke. Nothing about this was funny. She was so ill prepared to run into him.
Last time he’d seen her she’d had long hair that had fallen past her shoulders. She’d cut it short when Lily had been born and now it was softly feathered and the ends brushed her shoulders. She’d changed many things about herself since he’d last seen her, not just her hair. It was almost a surprise that he’d recognised her. She felt seventy years older. Not seven. Like a completely different person.
She was a different person.
She was a mother. A mother with a secret.
The lift doors slid open but Jess didn’t move. Lucas was in her way but even so she didn’t think she was capable of movement. She needed the wall to support her. Her legs were shaking. Her hands were shaking. She knew her reaction was a result of the adrenalin that was coursing through her system. Adrenalin that was produced from a combination of attraction and fear. Why had he come back? And what would his presence mean to her? And to Lily?
‘Mr White.’ A hotel staff member approached them. Lucas had his back to the doors but he turned at the sound of his name and stepped out of the elevator. ‘Mr Bertillon is nearly back at the lodge. He’s only a minute or two away. What would you like me to do?’
‘I’ll meet him here. Can you organise a car to be waiting out the front? We need to get him down the mountain to the hospital asap.’
Jess pushed off the wall and forced her legs to move. One step at a time, she could do this. Lucas turned back to face her as she stepped into the lobby. ‘Have you got time for a coffee? Can you wait while I sort this out?’ Jess shook her head. ‘I have to get back to the medical centre,’ she lied. She had no idea how to deal with the situation. With Lucas. She had to get away. She needed time to process what had just happened. To process the fact that Lucas was here.
‘Of course. Another time, then.’ He put a hand on her arm and it felt as though her skin might burst into flames at his touch. Her pulse throbbed. Her throat was dry. ‘We’ll catch up later,’ he said.
Jess dropped the medical bag off at the clinic before trudging through the snow back to her apartment. Seeing Lucas had left her shaky and confused and she used the few minutes she had to herself to try to sort out her feelings.
He said they’d catch up later. What would he want? She definitely wasn’t the naive teenager from seven years ago. She wasn’t the person he would remember.
What would she do? She needed to work out what to tell him. How to tell him.
She shook her head. This was all too much.
She’d have to try to avoid him. Just for a while, just until she worked out what having all three of them in the same place would mean for her and Lily. Just until she solved this dilemma.
Seven years ago she’d fallen in love. Or she’d thought she had. Seven years on she had convinced herself that maybe it had just been a bad case of teenage hormones. Lust. A holiday romance. But seeing him today had reinforced that she’d never got over him. How could she when she was reminded of him every day?
She knew she wouldn’t be able to avoid him for ever. Moose River wasn’t big enough for that. They were bound to bump into each other. But even if avoidance was a possibility she suspected she wouldn’t be able to resist him completely. Curiosity would get the better of her. She’d been thinking about him for seven years. She would have to fill in the gaps. But as to exactly what she would tell him, that decision could wait.
She opened her apartment door and was almost knocked over by an excited Lily.
‘Mum, where have you been? Kristie is here. We’ve been waiting for you for ages.’
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