Oklahoma Reunion
Tina Radcliffe
Facing Her Past Single mother Kait Field is back home in the small Oklahoma town she left eight years ago. It’s time to empty the family home, close the door on the past and introduce her daughter, Jenna, to her daddy. Ryan Jones hasn’t quite forgiven his teenage sweetheart, who left him with unanswered questions and a broken heart.But Kait was never accepted by his controlling family, and they don’t seem any more welcoming this time around. Yet now Ryan and Kait are resolved that nothing will come between renewed promises of faith, forever—and the second chance that neither expected.
“I’m guessing you don’t still have that promise ring I gave you.”
Kait found herself speechless. Why was she surprised? That was Ryan. Bold as you please.
The silence stretched until Ryan cocked his head and narrowed his eyes. “Could I just ask you a question?”
“Only one?”
“Oh, I’ve got a dozen or so more, but I’m guessing maybe it’s best for both of us to take it one at a time.”
“Ryan, I …”
He held up a palm. “No. A long time ago I convinced myself that you must have had a really good reason for leaving. Whatever I did, well, there’s not much I can do about it now. So I’m just praying that in your own good time you’ll tell me.”
Their eyes met, and she glimpsed the pain in his eyes. She raised a brow, ready to hear his one question.
“Did you ever think of me?”
Kait swallowed, focused on the faded gray boards of the porch floor. “Yes.”
In truth, she’d never stopped thinking about him.
Dear Reader,
Thank you for reading Ryan and Kait’s story. Ryan Jones was a secondary character from my first Love Inspired release, The Rancher’s Reunion. Ryan is such a bigger-than-life character that it seemed only fitting that I write his story. While this was a fun story to write, it was also a difficult one. I had to really dig deep to understand these characters and why they made some of the life choices they did.
Life would be so much easier if we would travel from point A to point B in a straight line. But that isn’t the way it always works, is it? However, God never leaves us no matter how many detours we make. His promise is that He will be with us always and He will complete what He promised.
Like Ryan and Kait, in Oklahoma Reunion, I, too, stand on those promises.
I hope you enjoyed this story. Please let me know by dropping me a line at tina@tinaradcliffe.com or my website, www.tinaradcliffe.com.
Tina Radcliffe
About the Author
TINA RADCLIFFE has been dreaming and scribbling for years. Originally from Western N.Y., she left home for a tour of duty with the Army Security Agency stationed in Augsburg, Germany, and ended up in Tulsa, Oklahoma. While living in Tulsa she spent ten years as a certified oncology R.N. A former library cataloger, she now works for a large mail-order pharmacy. Tina currently resides in the foothills of Colorado where she writes heartwarming romance. You can reach her at www.tinaradcliffe.com.
Oklahoma Reunion
Tina Radcliffe
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Many thanks to my sister Anne, who is my patient, long-suffering first reader and is willing to tell me what I don’t want but always need to hear. Thank you to Julie Lessman and Mary Connealy for listening with two ears and one mouth. I am ever grateful for my wonderful husband, Tom, who gets me and can cook.
Thank you, K.C. Frantzen, for proofing my vet stuff and a shout-out to Michael Joseph Russo for your inspiring vet clinic stories and pictures. The iguana tail, however, I could have done without.
Thank you to Melissa Endlich and Rachel Burkot for patiently helping me dig inside myself to find the writer I can be. And a final thank-you to my wonderful agent, Meredith Bernstein, for always being positive and encouraging and for taking time from her vacation to contract this book.
Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have spoken to you.
—Genesis 28:15
Chapter One
“Unca Ryan, that mama pig has six babies.” Five-year-old Faith’s pudgy fingers clutched the fence surrounding the Tulsa State Fair’s animal birthing pen.
Ryan Jones pushed his straw Stetson to the back of his head. “Yes, she does, darlin’,” he answered.
“That’s lots of brothers and sisters,” Faith continued, her gaze intent upon the plump sow and her suckling brood.
Those who overheard chuckled. Ryan merely smiled, proud of his precocious niece.
When Faith finally looked up, she wriggled her button nose. “It stinks in here.”
Ryan laughed. “Yeah. I guess it does.” As a vet, he was accustomed to the pungent hay and animal smells, but the air in the huge livestock building had become unusually thick and dank as the number of spectators increased.
From the corner of his eye, he caught the movement of a dark-haired woman at the other end of the barnyard.
He froze, then shook his head.
Knock it off. It’s been eight years, Jones. Time to stopthinking every brunette with a certain gesture or walk is Kait Field.
While he’d routinely convinced himself he was long over his first love, his stubborn heart refused to release her memory.
It didn’t help that his imagination worked overtime in crowds. And this was quite a crowd.
He knelt down next to his towheaded niece. “Are you about ready for some cotton candy?”
Faith’s wispy ponytail bobbed as she nodded.
“Pink or blue?” he asked.
Dimples appeared. “Pink, please.”
It didn’t take long to guide her through the jammed arena and back outside to the main strip of the fairgrounds.
Faith ignored the noise of the carnies vying for their attention and the loud barker at the entrance to one of the sideshows. Her short, chubby legs propelled forward on the midway, past the Ferris wheel, carousel and the sweet and greasy trailing aroma of a funnel-cake stand.
When Faith picked up her pace, Ryan reached for her hand before she got too far ahead. Not even a flamboyant clown on stilts could stop the little girl now that she had a mission.
“There.” Sugar radar intact, Faith pointed to a concession stand shaded by a bright blue-and-white-striped umbrella.
“Taste good?” Ryan asked as they settled on a bench, out of the wilting heat and humidity. Early autumn in Tulsa, it was still seventy-five degrees in the shade.
Faith nodded, not wasting time on words, simply stuffing pink fluff into her mouth. When the last of the treat disappeared, she licked each finger one by one and looked up.
“I have to go to the little girls’ room.” She hopped off the bench and straightened her shorts and matching top. “Now,” she added.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Ryan stood and glanced around, spotting the nearest facility. They quickly headed over.
He narrowed his gaze, assessing those who came in and out the gray metal door. All he had to do was find a nice elderly lady or a mother with a baby to watch her inside.
“Now, please, Unca Ryan,” Faith cried, reaching up to tug on his rolled-up shirtsleeve.
“I heard you, darlin’.”
“Do you need some help?”
His head jerked at the sound.
That voice.
The air whooshed from his lungs as he connected with familiar dark eyes. He froze, realizing he’d just been poleaxed by the ghost of Kait Field.
“I … we …” His thoughts were as muddled as his speech.
One thing was certain. This time it wasn’t his imagination. Kait had been in the livestock barn this morning.
Faith released a loud wail and crossed her little legs like miniature pretzels. Though Ryan heard her plea, he couldn’t seem to move.
Kait, however, wasted no time. “Jenna, take the little girl into the restroom, sweetie.”
“Sure.” The young girl at Kait’s side smiled at him before she pulled open the door and followed Faith inside. Merely a few years older than his niece, her long hair was the same rich black shade as Kait’s. In fact, except for the fringe of bangs, she looked exactly like Kait.
“That’s your—”
“Jenna,” Kait quickly added.
He frowned, trying to piece the picture together. Kait was married and had a daughter? Regret slammed into him with the force of an Oklahoma twister.
“Your daughter is adorable, Ryan.”
“Faith is my niece—Maddie’s daughter.”
Kait shook her head and shifted uncomfortably. When she pushed the long hair off her shoulders in a nervous gesture, he glanced at her hand, noting the light band of skin on her ring finger, evidence she’d recently removed a ring.
Hope flared and his breath tightened in his chest. The last ring he’d seen on Kait’s hand was his promise ring—eight years ago.
Ryan tensed, clenching his jaw. Was she married or not?
He sure intended to find out.
“Um, well, it certainly is nice to see you,” Kait finally said.
Numb and speechless, he could only stare. His world had been knocked off-kilter, and she’d just responded like they were old friends who ran into each other once a week at church.
“Come again?” Ryan bit back the slow, simmering anger deep in his gut.
“I said, it’s nice to—”
“Yeah. I heard you.” He jammed his hands into the pockets of his Wrangler jeans and glanced down at the ground. There was no way he could play a game of nonchalance and repartee.
No, this was too cruel, carrying on a polite conversation while sneaking glances to see how she’d changed.
Had she changed? Not really. The woman in front of him was still tall and slim, with high cheekbones hinting at her part-Cherokee heritage. Her hair hung like a satin sheet around her shoulders—not unlike the picture he carried in his heart.
“You look good, Kait. Real good.” The words slipped from his lips before he realized he’d said them.
Her face turned pink. “Thank you,” she said, while fidgeting with the silver chain tucked inside her blouse. As he recalled, she used to keep her mother’s wedding ring on the end of that necklace.
Kait glanced around the fairgrounds, looking anywhere to avoid the intense green eyes of Ryan Jones. What were the odds of finding this particular cowboy among all the cowboys at the Tulsa State Fair?
Yes, she’d come home to deal with the past. But she hadn’t expected it would be today, her first day back in Oklahoma.
When she’d spotted Ryan, she and Jenna were walking and chatting. Suddenly there he was, giving life to the memories she’d put on a shelf eight years ago.
The same unruly golden hair peeked out from beneath his hat, and he wore a familiar uniform of a denim shirt rolled up to the elbows, faded but creased Wrangler jeans and dusty boots. Tall and lanky, there was still a sparkle in his eyes and an irreverent grin on his face.
Flustered, and with her blood beating loudly against her temples, Kait scrambled for a course of action. Her initial instinct had been to hide, but Ryan looked in need, as did the child with him. Her heart kicked in well before her brain.
Now as they stood awkwardly, waiting for the girls to come out of the restroom, she tried not to stare, but again and again her gaze returned to the tall cowboy.
“Hey, Doc, how’s it going? Good to see you out having fun for a change.”
Ryan’s head swiveled around as he nodded a greeting to a man passing by.
“Doc?” Kait repeated the word.
“Doctor Jones. Princess says to tell you hello.”
“Afternoon, Ms. Anderson.” He tipped his hat to an elderly woman
“Princess?” Kait asked.
“Red tabby Persian.”
“Excuse me?” Confused, she cocked her head.
“I’m a vet, Kait. I told you I was going to go to vet school.”
“Your mother said you were going to law school.”
He frowned, and his lips became a thin line. “And you believed everything my mother told you?”
She looked away, shaken by the harsh reply.
“Kait.”
Slowly she glanced back to Ryan.
“I …” He inhaled then released a breath of air through pursed lips. “I’m sorry.”
Kait gave a short nod of acknowledgment. He was angry, and she supposed he had every right to be—more than he realized, in fact.
“Is this the first time you’ve been back since—”
“Yes,” she quickly interjected. “I have to empty out the old house before it goes on the market.”
“You’re selling the house? Your father …”
“My father left the house to me.”
Ryan flinched. “Seems I’m always shoving my boots in my mouth. I heard he was in and out of the V.A. hospital for treatment. But I didn’t realize.” He cleared his throat. “When?”
Kait swallowed and stared straight ahead as she struggled to say the words without emotion. “Six weeks ago.”
“I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you.”
“Gotta be tough,” Ryan murmured.
She lifted her chin. “Time passes. Things change.”
“There’s an understatement.” He took off his Stetson and put it back on his head. “How long will you be in town?”
“Long enough to tie up a few loose ends.”
“Loose ends, huh?” A flash of pain appeared in his eyes before he quickly lowered his gaze. “So you weren’t going to even stop by and see me?”
She took a deep breath at the accusation.
What could she possibly say? Yes, Ryan. You’re the reason I’m here. The reason we’re here. I’d like to introduce you to your daughter.
Instead, she barely mumbled out an inadequate response. “I did plan to see you.”
Silence separated them. The same silence that had once been a comforting bond between two friends was now an insurmountable wall.
Ryan shuffled his boots on the cement. “Heard you moved East. Buffalo, right?”
“Philly.” She pulled open the restroom door. “Jenna, are you coming?”
“We’re washing our hands.”
“Maybe we could get together later, for coffee?” He suggested.
“Discuss old times?” The last thing she wanted was to discuss old times. There was nothing to be gained from reminiscing. Moving forward was her only hope.
“Yeah. Why not?”
“We were kids, Ryan.”
“Is that all we were?” he returned, with unexpected bitterness.
“A lot has happened in eight years,” Kait whispered.
“Yeah, it has, and it seems I missed it all, didn’t I?”
Her heart lurched. When she looked up, their eyes connected and held for a long moment.
“Kait, you left me a note. A note.” The words fairly exploded from his lips. He stood grim and angry, clenching and unclenching his hands.
As she opened her mouth to speak, a giggling Jenna and Faith burst out of the restroom.
Faith’s little fingers curled into the palm of his big hand. When she smiled up at her uncle, the tension in Ryan’s body slipped away.
Kait melted at the tender smile he gave the child beside him. Finally his gaze returned to her, and his control was back in place. “Thanks for helping me out here.”
“No problem.” She placed an arm around her daughter’s shoulder. “We … we should be going.”
“Sure.” He gave a quick nod. “But I meant it about getting together sometime. Seems to me we have unfinished business.”
She bit her lip and shook her head. “Yes. Yes, you’re right. We do need to talk.”
Ryan stood still for a moment, as though surprised at her sudden acquiescence.
“Ryan, I really did plan to see you.”
“I want to believe that.” He slowly nodded. “Where are you staying?”
“Out in Granby, at the old house.”
“Have you got a phone?”
“I have a cell.” Digging in her purse, she pulled out a piece of paper and a pen and wrote the number for him.
When he took the paper, their fingers brushed. Kait stilled for a brief second before pulling away quickly.
“I’ll give you a call.”
“Okay.” She looked to the child by her side.
Jenna stared curiously at Kait and then at the tall cowboy.
“Hey, there. I’m Ryan Jones. This young lady is my niece, Faith.”
Faith released a squeal of childish delight at being included in the conversation, while Jenna hesitantly accepted the hand Ryan offered.
Jenna’s soft-spoken words as she leaned toward Kait were loud enough that Ryan could hear. “Momma, is he—”
“We’ll talk about it later, sweetie.” Kait cut off the question and turned to leave.
“Kait.”
She glanced over her shoulder at Ryan, her emotions whirling.
“I’m glad you’re back.”
“He’s my daddy?”
Kait backed up the compact car and pulled away from the curb. She sensed the bubbling anticipation in her daughter. After all, Jenna had been waiting her entire life to meet her father.
“Yes.”
“Does he know he’s my daddy?”
“No.” Kait released the word with caution.
“How come?”
“Seat belt on?”
Jenna complied but remained undeterred. “How come, Momma?”
“I wish I could explain. For now, you just have to trust me. Everything is going to work out.”
Kait spoke the words and prayed she was right.
Jenna mulled the answer for a bit. Beaming, she turned to her mother. “Faith is my cousin.”
“That’s right.”
Without skipping a beat, Jenna continued. “Do you think he already has a family?”
“What?”
“Do you think Ryan is married? Maybe he already has a little girl. He might not want another one.”
Kait glanced at Jenna’s stricken expression and inhaled sharply. She reached across the seat to touch her daughter’s hand. “Oh, sweetheart, any daddy would love to have a beautiful and smart girl like you for his daughter.”
In truth, Kait had the same questions as Jenna, along with a million others she’d considered on the long drive from Philly to Tulsa.
Jenna sighed, a pleased smile on her seven-year-old face. “Soon I’ll have lots and lots of family, won’t I?”
“Yes, but remember what we talked about? We have to do this in the Lord’s timing. Some people have a hard time with change. It’s scary, and the last thing we want is to scare them. So until it’s time, this will be our secret.”
Kait chewed the inside of her cheek.
If only she hadn’t run into Ryan just yet. Again and again she had replayed the possible scenarios in her mind, knowing coming home meant coming face-to-face with the past.
When she looked into Ryan’s eyes and he began to speak in that deep, smooth voice laced with a dash of Oklahoma twang, she was lost.
The years melted away.
Yes, it was still there, that feeling between them. It was far more powerful than chemistry—it was a connection.
And he was right. They did have unfinished business.
Kait turned onto 31st Street and shook her head.
Ryan was a vet.
She was no less than astounded to learn he had found the courage to stand up to his family. He’d actually bucked his mother?
Despite his claims to the opposite, she knew firsthand that opposing Elizabeth Delaney Jones simply wasn’t done. Time and again Kait wished she’d had the courage to stand up to the woman eight years ago. If she had, things would be so different.
For a brief moment, the what-ifs taunted her. Anger, regret and sadness vied for control.
Kait pushed it all aside.
She was here to close the door on yesterday, to say goodbye to her father and to tell Ryan the truth.
Her hands trembled on the steering wheel. No matter what the consequences were, she had to face them. Besides, what could Ryan’s mother possibly do now?
Jenna turned from the window and smiled. “This is where you grew up?”
Kait turned left and guided the car down picturesque Lewis Avenue. They were definitely taking the scenic route to Granby.
The stately residences on Lewis were a throwback to the oil-boom days, when T-town was considered the oil capital of the world. Huge trees whose leaves had begun to turn autumn shades of gold and burnt umber flagged the curbsides, shading the large old homes and expansive lawns.
“Yes. I grew up here in Tulsa, and then we moved into my grandmother’s house in Granby after she died.”
“How old were you when you left Oklahoma, Momma?”
“Nineteen.”
“And you went on an adventure.”
“I did.”
“Why didn’t you come back?’
“Oh, Jen. That’s … complicated.”
Over the years, Kait had become proficient at sidestepping the issue of Jenna’s paternal heritage, offering vague generalities, quickly changing the subject or gently redirecting the conversation. But the older Jenna got, the more difficult it had become to change the subject once her daughter began tenaciously delving for answers.
With the death of Kait’s father six weeks ago, everything had converged, and she realized it was time for that overdue heart-to-heart with her daughter.
Ready or not, the time had come to return to the town that had shown her the door eight years ago.
“Can we stay?”
“Stay?” Kait blinked, tuning back in to her daughter’s words. “Jen, Philly is our home.”
“Does it have to be? Tulsa’s so pretty. Why can’t we live here?”
Kait inspected the passing scenery, as if seeing it for the first time through a child’s eyes. “I’d forgotten how beautiful Tulsa is.” She sighed. “Can we talk about this more after we get to the house?”
Jenna nodded, a half frown on her face as she glanced back out the window. She knew she was being deterred.
“Momma? Are you sad that you aren’t going to marry Steven anymore.”
Kait rubbed her naked ring finger. Steven would have solved all her problems. But she couldn’t, wouldn’t take the easy way out. It wasn’t fair to Steven. She didn’t love him.
“No, honey. That’s all over.”
“Well then, I was wondering.”
“Now what, Jen?” Kait asked, distracted as she checked over her shoulder for oncoming traffic.
“When can we tell Ryan Jones he’s my daddy?”
Startled by the question, Kait turned to her daughter. “Soon,” she said. But was Kait ready for soon? She hoped so.
Chapter Two
“May I go outside?” Jenna asked.
Kait looked up from where she sat cross-legged on a braided rag rug in the middle of the parlor. She’d spent most of the last hour going through the paperwork from the Realtor.
“Isn’t it raining?”
“I won’t get wet. I’ll sit on the porch and read until lunchtime.” Jenna held up a well-worn paperback.
“Okay, but wait a minute.” Kait closed the folder in her hands and got to her feet. She pulled Grandmother Redbird’s colorful, fuzzy afghan off the huge oak-trimmed sofa that took up much of the room and wrapped it around her daughter’s shoulders.
Jenna gave an excited smile as Kait opened the screen door. The clean, earthy scent of rain greeted them.
“I lo-o-ove this porch,” Jenna exclaimed with a dramatic flourish.
“When I was younger, I used to sit out here and read just like you.” Kait stood in the doorway and watched the moisture hit the pavement in fat, crowned droplets.
“I wish we could live here forever.”
Forever was much too far down the road to think about. One step at a time was pretty much all Kait could handle right now. She had a good job with health benefits in Philly—a job that they needed.
It was not the answer Jenna wanted to hear.
Though it had been pouring since midnight, Kait wasn’t about to complain. The rain tapping against the bedroom window soothed her to sleep. It was the best sleep she’d had in a very long time.
As Jenna settled into the porch swing, rocking back and forth with a rhythmic squeak, Kait closed the screen. She wandered through the parlor to pick up her pile of papers before she made her way to the kitchen.
On a rainy day in the middle of the confusion her life had become, the century-old foursquare house was a haven, the kitchen her favorite room.
Kait inhaled. With the extra moisture in the air, it was possible to smell traces of the past—a hint of yeast and cornmeal mixed with the scent of cooking oil from the old deep fryer.
Elisi was still in this house. Kait had learned the Cherokee word for maternal grandmother when she was a child. In those days, this same house had been a magical place her parents took her to visit once a month. She never imagined she’d end up actually living here after her mother and her grandmother passed away.
Now the house was hers.
If she closed her eyes, she could easily imagine her grandmother standing at the stove stirring pepper pot soup for dinner and preparing traditional Cherokee fry bread.
Kait turned on the kitchen faucet. Water spit for several minutes before releasing a steady stream into the old porcelain sink. She filled a cast-iron pot halfway then heaved it onto the enormous white porcelain gas stove to boil.
Behind her in the pantry, a steady drip, drip, drip echoed into the air. Kait flipped on the light switch and discovered a puddle on the faded linoleum. A glance at the ceiling revealed a yellow circle where moisture dripped through and splashed to the cracked floor below.
“Great. Just great.” She lifted a dented tin kettle from a peg on the wall and placed it beneath the leak. Add this to her plumbing problems in the main bathroom and her list was growing.
Fortunately the dripping hadn’t come close to the shelves packed with jars of pepper jelly, fruit jams and vegetables.
She was grateful for a full pantry and a freezer stocked with home-baked casseroles. They would go a long way toward helping stretch her meager funds until the property sold. How she was going to pay the rent on the apartment back in Philly and manage the repairs on this house would be her next challenge.
Kait laughed. Life was never boring.
As she began to peel carrots for her and Jenna’s own pepper pot soup, her cell phone began to ring. The number was all too familiar, and Kait couldn’t hold back a smile.
Molly Springer.
“Kaitey-girl, you’re back.”
“Oh, Molly, it’s so good to hear your voice.”
“How are you doing? How was the drive?”
“Not bad. Jenna talked for twelve hours straight. That’ll keep anyone alert.”
Molly laughed. “Good. Are you settled in?”
“Getting there. There’s a lot to do around here. My father apparently hadn’t done any repairs since my mother was alive.”
“I’ll help. I have plenty of grandchildren who can give you a hand. No worries.”
“You’ve already done so much. Thank you for filling the pantry and the refrigerator and for getting the electricity turned on for us.”
“My pleasure.”
Kait could almost see Molly’s contagious smile.
“So how are you doing, Kait?”
“Overwhelmed but okay.”
“It can’t be easy coming home to all these memories.”
Kait looked through the kitchen to the front door. Her very last memory of home was her father demanding she get out.
She released a shaky breath. “I’m a coward, Molly. I haven’t even been able to open his bedroom door yet.”
“All in good time.”
“But I wasn’t there for him.”
Molly made a scoffing noise. “The man shut you and your baby out. Remember? Because if you don’t, I surely do.”
“Why do I always think I should have found a way in?”
“Please. Jack Field was bitter to the end. He refused a memorial service just to be stubborn.”
“I know you’re right, Molly. At least my head knows that, but …”
“But nothing. No condemnation. That is not what the good Lord wants.”
Kait took a deep breath.
“Now then, when do I get to see your little girl?” Excitement laced Molly’s words.
“She’s not so little, Molly. She’s grown since you visited us.”
“Have you told Ryan yet?”
Silent, Kait stared at the bubbles rising and sinking in the cast-iron pot.
“You have to tell him. His mother’s threats can’t touch you anymore.”
“I know. And I will.” Kait exhaled. “I will. That’s why I’m here. Finding a segue in a conversation to tell a man he has a child—well, that’s not going to be easy.”
“None of this is easy. But you did the right thing. You kept your baby. Now give your daughter a family. It’s time.”
Kait nodded, though Molly couldn’t see the gesture.
“Oh, and I have the youngest grandkids here for fall break. Does Jenna want to run around with us, maybe later this week? Go to the zoo?”
“I’m sure she’d love to,” Kait said.
“How long will you be here?”
“I only have over three weeks of vacation time accumulated.”
“Oh, that will never do,” Molly admonished. “We’re going to talk about that.”
Kait was still laughing when she said goodbye and put down the phone.
“Look what I found, Momma.”
Kait turned. Jenna stood in the doorway holding a drenched gray tabby against her sweatshirt. “Where did you find a kitten?”
“Under the porch.”
Kait moved to her daughter and gently pushed back Jenna’s wet bangs. “Jen, you’re almost as soaked as this poor little kitty.”
“I was sitting out there reading and I heard her cry. It took me forever to get her to come close enough to pull her out.”
“She’s bleeding.” Kait wiped her hands on her jeans and inspected the animal’s torn ear. “Poor little thing must have been hiding from her attacker.”
“Can we keep her?”
Moistening a kitchen towel, Kait gently applied a corner of fabric to the animal’s ear. She grabbed another towel to wrap around the kitten. “Jen, why don’t you change into dry clothes?”
“But can we keep her?”
Easing the shivering ball of fur into her arms, Kait looked at her daughter. “She might belong to someone.”
“I can put up signs. If no one claims her, then we can keep her, right, Momma?”
Kait hesitated.
“Please?”
“Maybe.” Maybe? Had she really said maybe? That was as good as a yes to her daughter.
Jenna’s face glowed.
How could she deny this one request? They’d lived in a tiny apartment without so much as a goldfish all Jenna’s life. Kait didn’t have the heart to refuse a simple thing like a stray kitten. For once, she wouldn’t be practical and hoped it wouldn’t become a habit. She’d worry about how they were going to pay for the pet deposit at their apartment back home later.
“Do you think she’s hungry?”
“Honey, go change. We’re going to have to get this baby to a vet. Right away. Then we can stop and get cat food.”
“Ryan is a vet. I heard him say so.”
Yes. He was a vet. Kait slowly inhaled and exhaled. Why was it that she had only been back in Granby a few days and circumstances kept conspiring to put her and Jenna in the path of Ryan Jones?
“Momma?”
“Go change, and I’ll get directions.”
Oklahoma State University College of Veterinary Medicine. Kait inspected the framed certificates on the wall. She smiled, so very proud that Ryan had gone after his dreams.
An unexpected lump of sadness welled in her chest. She’d hadn’t been there to share that journey.
Next to his certificate was that of a Lucas Hammond. So there were two vets at the clinic? That was a good thing since it was so busy. She’d watched no less than half a dozen small animals and their owners come in and out of the front door since she arrived.
Kait checked her watch. That had been quite a while ago.
She approached the counter. “Excuse me?”
The receptionist arched her penciled brows while twisting a strand of fuchsia hair around a finger but didn’t put down the cell phone attached to her ear.
“How much longer do you think it will be?”
“That’s hard to say. Dr. Jones is booked solid, and you didn’t have an appointment.”
Kait bit her lip at the accusation but decided against pointing out that the sign outside said walk-ins were welcome. “What about Doctor Hammond?”
“Who?”
“Doctor … never mind. Perhaps you can give me directions to another clinic?”
The door behind the receptionist opened, and Ryan appeared. Head down, broad shoulders slumped, he shoved a stethoscope into his lab-coat pocket and ran a hand through his hair as he checked a ledger on the counter. His guard was down, and Kait was taken aback by the fatigue and something else—discouragement perhaps—that she saw in his stance.
Ryan rarely showed any emotion, instead putting on his happy-go-lucky face for the world. She knew he must have a lot on his mind. Her heart ached, and for a moment she simply stared. How simple it would be to reach out and smooth the worry lines from his brow and give him a hug of encouragement.
With a small sigh, she turned her face away. Nothing was simple anymore.
“Kait? What are you doing here?”
She swung back at his voice.
When he offered a tentative smile, she froze for a moment. He so reminded her of Jenna.
Any trace of fatigue or stress had disappeared, and his smile, however wary, wrapped itself around her. Suddenly she was glad Jenna had convinced her to come to his clinic.
Kait pointed across the room to where Jenna held the kitten; both were mesmerized by the huge tropical fish tank in the corner.
“You have a kitten.”
“Jenna found her. It looks like she was in a tussle.”
“Who? Jenna or the cat?”
Kait swallowed a laugh at his dry humor. “The cat.”
“Ah.” He crossed the room. “Hey, Jenna. Good to see you again.”
She turned at his voice, her face brightening. “My kitty was in a fight.”
He leaned closer to inspect the kitten and then looked up at Kait. “How long have you been here?”
“About an hour,” she replied.
“An hour?” Ryan glanced at the receptionist who kept chatting on her cell, oblivious to the note of disapproval in his voice. “I’m sorry. I can tell you that won’t happen again.” He shook his head. “Let’s go back to an exam room.”
Jenna looked around the small room, her interest focused on the black-and-white framed photographs on the wall. “Oh, wow. This is so cool.”
“They’re all my patients.”
“Even that one?” Jenna pointed to a photo of a lizard sunning on a rock.
“Especially that one. That’s my lizard, Roscoe.”
“You really have a lizard?”
“Absolutely.”
“I love animals,” Jenna said.
“So do I,” he responded.
“Do you like kids, too?”
Ryan chuckled, not the least bothered by the random question from Jenna. He relaxed, open and unguarded as he conversed with the seven-year-old. “Yes. I like kids, too.”
“Do you have any?”
“Unfortunately, I don’t.”
Kait cleared her throat loudly. “Who took all these pictures?”
“I did.”
“I didn’t know you were a photographer.”
Ryan raised a brow in challenge, the caution back in his eyes. “I bet there are a lot of things you don’t know about me.”
Regret washed over Kait, and she turned to the wall, feigning interest in the photos. “So this is your clinic? Yours and Dr. Hammond’s?”
“How’d you know about Doc Hammond?”
“I saw his certificate on the wall.”
“Old Doc Hammond went fishing six months ago and decided not to come back. He says he needs to keep his options open, so there is a slight possibility that either retirement or Mrs. Hammond will drive him nuts and he’ll be back.”
Kait smiled.
“Why don’t you set the kitten on the table, Jenna?” Ryan donned gloves and began to stroke the animal. “Pretty little thing, isn’t she?” He skillfully examined the kitten from head to toe, finally assessing her teeth. Then he pulled out the stethoscope.
“Is she okay?” Jenna asked.
“She’s going to be just fine. This little baby is about eight months old. A little underweight. But your stray is definitely a girl.”
Jenna turned to Kait with a delighted grin on her face. “I was right. She’s a girl.”
Ryan reached for a small machine on the counter. Holding it in his hand, he slowly wanded the device over the cat’s entire body. “I don’t see any microchip, so I’m guessing she isn’t spayed either.”
“What’s spayed?” Jenna’s voice became concerned.
“We do surgery on animals so they don’t have babies. Cats can have a lot of kittens in their lifetime. That’s dozens of homeless, hungry cats.”
“Will it hurt?”
“A little, but I’ll let her stay here overnight. Chris, my technician, will check on her. We’ll take very good care of your little one.”
Ryan grabbed a pump bottle, saturated a few cotton balls and began to clean the kitten’s ear.
“She’s wiggling!” Jenna exclaimed with concern.
Kait reached over to help hold the animal tighter just as Ryan did. His hand covered hers.
Their eyes held.
“Sorry,” Kait murmured. Embarrassed, she slipped her hand away.
Ryan lowered his gaze. “Well, Jenna, looks like the wound isn’t too bad. Probably another cat. I’ll give her antibiotics and put ointment on the ear.”
Reaching to the counter, he grabbed several long cotton-tipped swabs and checked her ears.
“Does she get shots?”
“Yes, a few. Then you’ll bring her back in a few weeks for another shot, and we’ll test her to make sure she didn’t pick up a virus from the bite.”
Jenna nodded as Kait began to nervously tally the cost of today’s visit.
Ryan handed the kitten back to Jenna. “Here you go. Are you ready to be a parent?”
Jenna’s smile widened, and she nodded.
“Well then, congratulations.”
He pulled off his gloves and washed his hands. “Tell you what. You show your kitty the fish tank while your mother and I take care of the paperwork.”
Kait followed Ryan to the front desk where he opened a chart. She noted the strong, mature line of his jaw and the five o’clock shadow on face. In the crisp white lab coat worn over navy scrubs he looked vastly different from the rough-and-tumble carefree cowboy she had known. Ryan had become a man in the years since she’d seen him. Another unexpected pang of regret struck Kait.
“Do you still rodeo?” The question popped out before she realized she’d spoken aloud.
“What?” He looked up, brows knit.
“Rodeo.”
The corners of his lips twitched, and his green eyes flashed as he leaned against the counter. “Ah, rodeo. Don’t I wish? Lately my horse has become a pasture ornament, and my saddle doesn’t even know my name.”
His gaze wandered to Jenna, and he gave a puzzled frown before turning back to the chart, his professional mask back in place. “We’ll do the surgery late tomorrow afternoon. Is that okay with you?”
She nodded.
“If it’s more convenient, you can just leave the kitten here, and I’ll drop her off when she’s ready to come home.”
“Oh, I don’t want to bother you with—”
“It would be my pleasure. Let me do this for your daughter.”
Your daughter.
Kait inhaled sharply at the words.
“All right. Thank you.” She glanced down at Ryan’s scribbles and cleared her throat. “How much do you think this is going to cost?”
“There’s no charge.”
She blinked. “Of course there’s a charge. You examined her, treated her ear, gave her shots and she’s going to have surgery.”
“There’s no charge.” His lips became a firm line, and his taut stance brooked no discussion. “Kait, I’ve never stopped being your friend, even if you don’t believe that. You’re like family. And I don’t charge family.”
Speechless, she searched the depths of his gaze.
“But,” he continued, “we have to talk.”
She took a ragged breath. “Maybe you could stop by the house? I mean, well, I don’t know your schedule or anything.” Kait looked pointedly at his left hand.
“Not married, if that’s what you’re asking.” His expression softened a fraction. “Who’d have a guy who lives at the clinic 24/7, and when he does make it home, he sleeps with two cats and a hundred-pound mutt?”
Kait resisted the very strong urge to respond. Instead, she fiddled with the chain at her neck, struggling for nonchalance.
Ryan raised his brows in question. “And you, Kait?”
“Me?”
“No ring?”
“I’m not married.” She quickly glanced over at Jenna and moved the conversation along. “We have an appointment later today. But Jenna goes to bed at nine. Maybe …”
“After nine, then. I’ll be by,” Ryan said.
Kait swallowed, silently praying she had the courage for what was about to unfold.
Chapter Three
Ryan pushed open the door to the clinic’s back room and headed to the sink.
“Hey there, Doc. What’s got you looking like an agitated barnyard rooster?”
He leveled Chris LaFarge, his vet tech, a glance. “Excuse me?”
“Come on. No use denying it. You’ve been cranky all day. Will Sullivan pull another one on you?”
Scrubbing his hands, Ryan narrowed his gaze. He couldn’t help comparing people to animals. Short and stocky with thick brown hair and a flat nose, Chris, the full-time vet tech, had always been a tenacious bulldog in Ryan’s mind.
“I was hoping your attitude might improve so we could discuss all this overtime.”
“You have a problem making money?”
“Naw, I like taking your money, Doc, but I’ve been thinking.” Chris tore off a fresh plastic bag for the trash bin.
“I’m in trouble now.” Ryan reached for a paper towel and dried his hands and forearms. He stepped back from the stainless-steel sink to stop the water from flowing.
“It’s time you hired more help around here. Since Doc Hammond retired, it’s only getting busier and busier.”
“I’m not complaining, am I?” Ryan asked.
“No, but you don’t have a life, either.” He sprayed the counters with disinfectant and wiped them down, then glanced up. “Why, I think you’d even work Sundays if Pastor Jameson hadn’t finally lassoed you into ushering at first service.”
If Ryan thought his friend was done railing on him, he was wrong. Chris just kept talking, all the while efficiently restoring the counters and supply cupboards to order.
“You’re going to have to let go of the past, Doc.”
“What?” Ryan’s head jerked up at the comment.
“I’ve heard the stories.”
“Are you kidding me? What stories?”
“Something about a broken engagement and your true love running off.”
Ryan groaned loudly. “Sounds like the lyrics to a bad country song. Where do you get this stuff?”
“Will Sullivan, I expect.”
“Sullivan again? He’s feeding you a load of cow pies.”
“You telling me none of it’s true?” Chris scratched his head.
“There might be a grain of truth buried somewhere in that malarkey but not enough to be recognizable.”
“You weren’t jilted at the altar?”
“No.”
“She didn’t run off in her graduation cap and gown?”
“No.”
“Hmm.”
Ryan leaned back, enjoying the fact that for once Chris was at a loss for words. It didn’t last long.
“All the same, how many times have Joanie and I tried to get you over for dinner?”
There was no point responding. They both knew that if it was merely a home-cooked meal he’d been invited to, Ryan would have probably shown up more often than not. Generally, however, what appeared to be an innocent invite to supper was actually a clever matchmaking scheme.
“And here’s the other thing, Doc.”
“The other thing?”
Chris nodded and motioned to the front room. “You’re going to have to do something about that sorry excuse out there answering phones.” He shook his head. “Trouble with you is you only see the good in folks. That’s why you haven’t noticed she spends most of her day talking to her boyfriend and polishing her nails. You need someone who can handle billing and vendors. Not just a warm body who occasionally picks up the phone.”
This time Ryan paused at Chris’s words. He frowned and remembered Kait and Jenna’s visit. Ryan liked to think he was focused. Generally, however, it was simply tunnel vision. While he loved to work with animals, and he liked people, he wasn’t real good at the business end of things at the clinic. And Doc Hammond’s sudden retirement also meant he’d taken Mrs. Hammond, their one-woman office staff, with him.
“Okay. Let me think on this a bit.”
As much as he hated to purposely hand Chris a free ride to another “I told you so,” the vet tech was right.
“While you’re at it, maybe you could start thinking about dating and settling down.”
“Whoa. Why does a conversation with you have more ups and downs than a bull straight out of the shoot? Mind telling me what dating has to do with the conversation?”
“Simple. Make some changes at the clinic and you’ll have time to court a woman. Why, I bet you don’t even have a date for Will Sullivan’s wedding.”
“I’m the best man. I thought all I had to do is show up and make a speech.”
“Are you hearing anything I’m saying?”
“I don’t remember you telling me that particular piece of information.”
A date for a wedding? Who knew? Ryan ran a hand through his hair. While Chris’s logic was skewed, Ryan had to admit it had occurred to him on odd occasions that he just might indeed be running out of time. After all, he sure didn’t want to find himself alone in his dotage, with only a mismatched menagerie of pets for company. He loved kids and wouldn’t mind a few of his own. A daughter like his niece Faith, or …
An image of a dark-haired little girl flashed through his mind.
Chances were he had already run out of time.
Kait dried her hands on a towel and leaned against the screen door looking out at the front yard. The huge sugar maple near the street was barren of leaves, the naked branches dead and the bark peeling. It would have to be cut down which meant one more problem to solve, one more thing to do and much too much to think about.
“Oh, Lord.” She closed her eyes for a moment and prayed. “Right now I ask for wisdom and guidance as I prepare to talk to Ryan and make decisions for the future. Amen.”
When she opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was an ancient, mud-colored pickup coming round the corner. The Ford’s aged muffler vibrated loudly in the silence of the evening.
Illuminated by the glow of the street lamp, she could see every last rusted dent in the old truck. The rear bumper was gone, and the front bumper looked like it would be tempted to fall off with very little encouragement.
When the pickup stopped across the street, she realized the driver was Ryan.
Obviously he could afford a new vehicle yet he chose one with more dents than not. What did that say about him? Perhaps this was Ryan’s way of rebelling against his parents’ affluence.
He hung his head for a minute then looked up at the house before turning off the engine.
Slipping out the screen door, Kait ran a quick finger under her eyes and smoothed back her ponytail. She walked to the rail.
Ryan’s gaze swept the yard before he made his way to the front steps. His hands were shoved in the front pockets of his worn jeans as he stood, one boot on the rough cement of the sidewalk and one on the porch steps. The blue cotton shirt he wore was unbuttoned; with the sleeves rolled up, it hung loose over a navy T-shirt that stretched across a broad, muscular chest.
Kait swallowed, and averted her eyes. Ryan was always bigger than life—clearly the stuff women’s dreams were made of.
She frowned. This had to stop. There was no time for dreams in her life.
“When you first moved to Granby, I used to drive by your house on a regular basis.”
The simple statement surprised her. His face revealed nothing.
“I never saw you,” she said.
“Apparently I was better at being undetected back then.”
Kait bit her lip then murmured, “Perhaps you just need a new muffler.”
“Could be.” Undeterred, Ryan continued. “I used to park over there under the branches of that huge maple and just stare at your house for hours, trying to figure out which window was yours and hoping you’d come out.” He shook his head.
Apparently a response was not required. Ryan simply stared ahead as though thinking.
That was a good thing, as Kait didn’t know what to say. Bringing up memories was way too dangerous. She couldn’t go back. All her energy was focused on today.
She wrapped her arms around herself and looked at the front yard. “The maple’s dead now.”
Ryan moved up a step, and leaned against a porch column. He glanced over at the tree. “You sure? I saw a few healthy branches.”
“Not enough to save the tree.”
“All that tree needs is a good pruning and a little TLC.”
“That’s probably more trouble than it’s worth.”
He shrugged. “Your call, I guess.”
Silence stretched. Their gazes met. His glance moved oh so leisurely from her eyes to her lips. Kait couldn’t look away.
She licked her lips and willed herself to breathe.
Ryan moved to stand mere inches from her. He’d showered since this afternoon, and she inhaled the scent of sandalwood soap and the man himself—a potent combination that left her heady. She grasped the railing for support.
“You still look like you’re sixteen. Hard to believe you’re someone’s mother.”
Kait stilled, unsure what to say.
His assessing glance moved to where her fingers remained splayed on the railing. “Divorced?”
“I was engaged.” She covered her naked ring finger. “It was a mistake.”
“Ah.” He nodded and paused for a moment. “I’m guessing you don’t still have that little promise ring I gave you.”
Kait found herself speechless. Why was she surprised at his words? That was Ryan. Bold as you please. He always said what he thought.
The silence stretched until Ryan cocked his head and narrowed his eyes. “Could I just ask you a question?”
“Only one?”
“Oh, I’ve got a dozen or so more, but I’m guessing maybe it’s best for both of us to take it one at a time.”
“Ryan, I …”
He held up a palm. “No. A long time ago I convinced myself that you must have had a really good reason for leaving. Whatever I did, well, there’s not much I can do about it now. So I’m just praying that in your own good time you’ll tell me.”
Their eyes met, and she glimpsed the pain in his eyes once more. She raised a brow, ready to hear his one question.
“Did you ever think of me?”
Kait swallowed, wishing for a sip of sweet tea about now. She focused on the faded gray boards of the porch floor. “Yes.”
In truth, she’d never stopped thinking about him. A shiver ran across her shoulders. And every time she looked at their daughter, she thought of him yet again.
“Ryan, I do want to tell you why I left. I came back to Oklahoma with that in mind, settling the past once and for all.”
“Once and for all? Doesn’t sound good.”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“Momma, your phone is ringing.”
Kait turned at the sound of her daughter’s voice. Jenna stood at the screen.
She looked at Ryan. “Would you excuse me for a minute? I’m expecting a call from the Realtor.”
“Sure.” Ryan exhaled and gazed out at the yard, then glanced back at the house. Jenna stood quietly behind the screen studying him.
“Hey, Jenna.”
“Hi.” She watched him for a few minutes longer then quietly asked, “Is my kitten okay?”
“She is. When I left the clinic, she was curled in a little ball, sleeping.”
Jenna smiled. She released a yawn and rubbed her left eye with a knuckle.
“Tired?”
She nodded. “I was going to go to bed, but my closet doors are stuck.”
“Stuck?”
“They slide open, and Momma says they get off their track sometimes.”
“Do you want me to take a look at them for you?”
“Yes, please.”
He opened the screen and paused in the foyer. Kait was in the kitchen to his left, her back to him as she spoke to someone while eyeing a calendar on the refrigerator.
He followed Jenna upstairs, his hand on the smooth oak banister as he moved up the wide staircase of threadbare-carpeted steps to the second floor of the old house.
“That’s my grandpa’s room,” Jenna said as they passed a five-paneled door with a crystal knob. Her voice became a hush. “We aren’t allowed to go in there.”
They passed another room, the door slightly ajar. “Momma’s. But don’t look because it’s kind of messy. She’s going through lots of boxes.” Jenna released a frustrated sigh. “She says we can’t stay.”
“I see.”
“This is my room. It used to be my mother’s when she lived here a long, long time ago.”
Not so very long ago, he mused while eyeing the simple twin bed and matching bureau. A beautiful, worn pastel quilt covered the bed. Funny, he’d known Kait since they were sixteen, and he’d never set foot inside this big old house before.
Jenna went to the closet and pushed on the door with a grunt. “It won’t open.”
She was right. The panels were off their track. He raised the outer panel and shoved it back into place, then the door slid open with ease. Inside, the clothes were arranged neatly on hangers.
“All fixed.”
“Oh, thank you,” Jenna gushed as though he’d slain dragons. She pulled a neatly folded pair of pajamas from the closet.
Ryan glanced around the room, his gaze stopping on the artwork tacked to the wall.
One large crayon drawing was of a man and a woman with a little girl in the middle. All were holding hands. For moments, he simply stared at the picture, mesmerized.
“Did you like school when you were a kid like me?” Jenna asked.
“Hmm? School?” He tore his attention from the picture. “Yeah. I liked recess best.”
Jenna laughed.
Ryan looked around the room, and his glance caught a pile of books on a desk next to the bed. “Are all those schoolbooks yours?”
“Yes. I have lots of homework while we’re here.”
“What grade are you in?”
“Second.”
Second? Why did he think Jenna was younger? Ryan frowned. Then again, Kait always did look younger than her years.
“I’m going to be eight next month.”
“November?” He murmured the word.
“Uh-huh. November 25th. Momma says I’m her ‘Thank You, Lord, Thanksgiving baby.’”
November.
A tremor raced through him as his mind began a panicked gallop backward.
Kait left in March eight years ago. Ryan could barely breathe as he slowly did the math. He gripped the bureau for support as his knees threatened to buckle.
“Thanksgiving baby.” Ryan whispered the words aloud as he looked into Jenna’s sweet face. His gaze skimmed over the dark eyes, the freckles on the bridge of her nose—a nose just like his own.
The penny fell into the slot.
Jenna was his daughter.
Chapter Four
Ryan paced back and forth on Kait’s porch. He shivered as the cool evening breeze whipped past.
November. Thanksgiving baby.
What a fool he was—eight years the fool.
Conflicting emotions pummeled him. He was as thrilled as he was heartsick. Mostly he was plain ashamed.
Closing his eyes tightly, he recalled the details of the crayon drawing on Jenna’s wall. It was of a family holding hands and looking out at the future.
All that that little girl wants is a family.
As if it was yesterday, he remembered one of his and Kait’s last conversations so long ago. They’d discussed their plans after college—graduate program, then marriage and a family.
Ryan and Kait. Forever.
He’d kissed her tenderly beneath the soft light of this very porch before leaving her at her front door at the start of spring break.
What happened? How had it all become so convoluted?
He was a father. Jenna’s father.
The words raced round and round in his head like a wild mustang desperate for a way out. Panic gripped him, choking his throat and clutching at his gut.
What did he know about being a father? It couldn’t be nearly the same as owning a cat or a dog. If he made his beast dog Jabez neurotic, well, it scared him to think about his effect on a little girl.
He ran a hand over his pounding head and slammed his fist on the porch rail as his emotions swung wildly between despair and hysterics.
There were way too many questions and not nearly enough answers. His head ached as much as his heart.
And why had Kait kept it from him? Yeah, that was the big question. Unfamiliar rage welled up inside, threatening to erupt.
As if on cue, Kait opened the screen door and stepped onto the dimly lit porch.
“I’m sorry that took so long.” She rubbed her arms with her hands. “It’s gotten chilly. Do you want to come inside? I can make some tea or coffee. I have a fresh pumpkin loaf.”
Kait’s voice disarmed him for a moment. For all his self-righteous anger, he didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t even look at her. He turned away.
“Ryan? What’s wrong?”
He tried to answer, but the words wouldn’t obey him.
“Ryan?” she asked again. This time her voice sounded almost afraid.
Silence stretched until he couldn’t hold back the question any longer. He turned from the rail as the words burst from his lips, the pain ripping him apart.
“Jenna’s my daughter, isn’t she?”
Kait’s eyes rounded and her face paled. There was another long, painful silence. She swallowed.
“Yes.”
Ryan turned back to the rail. Eyes burning, he hung his head.
“Are you going to give me a chance to explain?”
“You’ve had eight years to explain, Kait. Eight years.” He gripped the wood tightly, blinking away emotion as he stared ahead into the settling twilight.
“Oh, Ryan,” Kait whispered. Dear Lord, this wasn’t how I planned for him to find out.
She sucked in her breath and automatically moved closer, reaching out to touch his hand. The contact started a frisson of electricity that surprised her.
Ryan jerked away. Once again, his back was to her. Several times he closed and opened his fists, finally shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans.
“Does Jenna know I’m her father?”
“Yes.”
“How can she know I’m her father when I didn’t even know?”
“It was only fair to talk to Jenna before we left Philly.”
“Fair,” he muttered the word.
Her stomach in knots, Kait watched him pace.
He came to a sudden halt and faced her. “Why did you come back to Granby now?”
“My father died, and I hoped that maybe this was the right time to talk to you.”
“Just like that.”
“Yes, just like that.”
Ryan was spoiling for a fight that she didn’t intend to give him. She could afford the luxury of being calm. After all, she’d had a long time to think about this. She understood his anger—yes, he had every right to be mad.
Finally, he raised his head and met her gaze. Kait flinched at the raw pain in his eyes. Ryan shook his head. “Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?” The accusation lingered in the air.
“It’s not like I didn’t want to tell you. The timing wasn’t in our favor.”
“Timing?” His eyes rounded in astonishment, and his tone became almost mocking. “You’re going to try to tell me this is all about timing?”
“You were out of town for spring break sophomore year, as I recall. Some legal internship your parents had arranged in D.C.”
Ryan’s jaw tightened, and the muscle in his right cheek twitched. “It was a week and a half. You couldn’t have waited for me? The father of your child?”
“My father kicked me out.” She took a deep breath. Suddenly she had no energy to defend herself. Once again, she was convicted before she began. “I was homeless. Nineteen and pregnant with nowhere to go. I was scared, and I didn’t have any options. I had to make decisions very fast.”
There was more to the story. Oh, yes, much more. But Ryan certainly wasn’t ready to hear everything tonight. She held back to protect him, and because deep down inside she doubted he’d believe her anyhow. What chance did her word have against Elizabeth Delaney Jones’s?
For several long moments, neither of them spoke.
“Did you think I wouldn’t be a good father?”
Surprised, Kait jerked back at his words. “Where did that come from? No. I hadn’t even thought that far down the road, Ryan. I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. I called Molly Springer, and she helped me. Molly has family in Philly. She found a place for me to stay and was there when Jenna was born.”
Again Ryan’s face became a twisted mask of anguish. His words were raw with pain. “I missed the birth of my daughter. Dear Lord, I’ve missed so much.”
Aching for him, Kait considered his words, not sure how to comfort him. Suddenly he was very quiet, his face stony. His eyes moved from her ringless hand to her face. “You were going to let someone else be Jenna’s father before giving me a chance.”
“It wasn’t … I didn’t …” Her eyes pricked with emotion. “That wasn’t how it was at all, Ryan.”
“How was it, Kait?” He blinked and looked away. “You had years to call me. Years. That’s what hurts most of all.”
How could she ever explain? Time and again she had tried to pick up the phone. With each passing day, the bridge to her past crumbled further. It was easier not to look back and to convince herself Ryan wouldn’t be waiting anyhow.
“I’m sorry, Ryan. I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry isn’t going to cut it, Kait.”
“Ryan, I—”
“No. I’m pretty sure this conversation is over.” Swallowing, he straightened and glanced at his watch. “For now. It’s late, and I’m functioning on an empty tank. I don’t want to say something we’ll both regret.”
Kait nodded.
Arms crossed, Ryan met her gaze head-on. His eyes flashed cold and dark.
She shivered. She’d never seen this side of Ryan before.
“I want to get to know Jenna. I want to get to know my daughter.”
He turned from her and walked slowly to his pickup, head bowed with the weight of his burden.
“That’s what I want, too,” Kait whispered as he drove away.
Pointing the pickup toward Tishomingo, Ryan drove. The three-and-a-half-hour trip took considerably less. It was after ten when he pulled up the long dirt-and-gravel drive and parked outside the rambling farmhouse. Twilight had long since disappeared, and a dark blanket of a country night covered everything.
The tension that held his shoulders tight and his jaw clenched finally eased. He released a deep breath and got out of the truck. Stones crunched beneath his boots as he approached the porch. The creaking of a rocking chair accompanied a chorus of cicadas.
“You know what time it is?” His grandfather’s voice reached him.
Ryan glanced at his watch. “Way past your bedtime.”
“Guess I must have been waiting up for you.” Gramps glanced over at the truck. “You still driving that old piece of tin?”
“Gets fair mileage and keeps the women away.”
Gramps laughed loud and hard.
The small porch light was enough to detail his grandfather’s rhythmic motions in the chair. As usual, Gramps wore a clean white T-shirt and pair of well-worn overalls. His remaining tufts of white hair stood straight up on a shiny scalp. Nearing eighty-four, Harlan Lukas Jones never changed. Ryan thanked God for that. The man was his rock, his sanity in a crazy world.
“Everyone okay?” Gramps asked.
“Yeah.”
The older man lifted a glass of lemonade to his lips. “There’s more in the house. Help yourself.”
“I’m good.”
Gramps looped his foot around another rocker, the twin to the one he sat in, and pulled it close. “Then have a seat.”
Weariness settled on Ryan as he eased into the chair and leaned against the smooth slats. “Nice weather for the first week of October.”
“Bit of a breeze but nice. Frost coming soon. That’ll quiet those cicadas.”
Ryan nodded.
“Good chili-cooking weather, too, but I’m guessing you didn’t come out here to discuss the weather or cooking. What’s on your mind, son? You look like you’ve gone a few rounds with the devil tonight.”
Ryan inhaled, steadying his emotions. “She’s back.”
They were silent for a while, chairs slowly moving in unison.
His grandfather gave a thoughtful shake of his head. “Time changed her?” he finally asked.
“Not really.” If anything, Kait was more of everything that tugged at his heart and soul. As a woman, the emotions she stirred in him were more powerful than ever.
“What are you feeling?”
“No different.” He paused, relieved at the admission. “The trouble is, I’m not sure if I’m still in love with her because that’s all I know or because that’s all I want to know.”
“Little of both, I imagine.” Gramps set his glass on the ground. “She married?”
“No.” Ryan glanced down.
“Your folks never cared for Kait. You know that.”
“I didn’t let that stand in the way, Gramps.”
“You’ve never gone nose to nose with your folks, either.”
“I’m not a lawyer, am I?”
“This isn’t like choosing veterinary medicine over law school, son. If it’s change you’re looking for, you’re going to have to quit straddling the fence.”
Ryan shook his head. He knew his grandfather was right. He rarely stood up to his parents. It was too much trouble. He’d rather find the road around an issue and quietly do things his own way.
“There’s more, Gramps.”
His grandfather stopped rocking.
“She brought her daughter with her.”
“How old is she?”
“Seven. Almost eight.”
“Are you trying to get up the nerve to tell me you’re that little girl’s daddy?”
Ryan blinked. “You know?”
“Not a far leap, even for an old steer like me. I always wondered when she left so suddenlike.”
“I want to do the right thing, but I have to tell you, I’m reelin’.” Ryan gripped the chair, his knuckles white. He released a breath, once again fighting the desire to hit something or break down in tears. Neither was an option.
Gramps reached out a gnarled hand and touched Ryan’s arm. His deep blue eyes searched his grandson’s. “It’ll all sort itself out, son. Anger’s not going to do anyone any good, so you may as well put it away and save it for something more deserving.”
Ryan slowly nodded and leaned back in the chair. They rocked silently for a long time, until his grandfather spoke again. “Ha.” Gramps stopped the chair and slapped his knee. “Bet this put your folks in a tizzy.”
“They don’t know yet.”
“Ooh, boy. Wish I was a fly on that wall. Why, last time something like this happened was when your daddy and momma moved up the wedding date. They ended up eloping, you know.”
Ryan’s jaw slacked with surprise.
“You know what they say about people who live in glass houses,” Gramps said. He chuckled under his breath.
Ryan shook his head. “But they act so …”
“Judgmental? Well, your daddy wasn’t always like that, and I have to believe that deep down inside he’s the same man he was when he left this farm. Your grandmother and I raised him up right with a foundation based on the good Lord.”
“And Mother?”
“Aw, don’t go believing those highfalutin ways of your mother’s. I knew her when she was just a regular girl from Granby. She comes from a long line of simple folks.” His grandfather gestured with his hands. “Why, her granny and mine were friends when their husbands were roughnecks on oil rigs.”
Ryan grinned before his thoughts sobered again. “What should I do, Gramps?”
“Darned if I know. I’m old, but that doesn’t mean I know everything.”
“I always thought you did.”
“Not me. I cheat. I turn to the good Lord when I don’t know what to do. That’s your answer, as well.”
Ryan frowned.
“Pray, son. Pray like your life depends on it. Kait coming back into your life is nothing short of a marvel. A daughter, you say? Well, that’s doubly marvelous. Don’t let your folks stand in the way this time.” Gramps pointed skyward with his thumb. “He has a plan. Up to you to figure out what it is.”
Ryan took a deep breath. Gramps was right. It was time for some serious prayer. Time to ask for forgiveness for his mistakes and trust that the Good Lord would give him the wisdom and strength he needed for tomorrow.
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