Merry Christmas, Cowboy!
Cindy Kirk
Lauren Van Meveren's life was all mapped out. It didn't include being a temporary nanny to Seth Anderssen's seven-year-old daughter. Even if the widowed rancher was the most heart-meltingly sexy man she'd ever met, filling her head with fantasies of forever at his Sweet River ranch. But when he asked, how could she say no?All Seth needed was someone to care for his injured little girl. Someone warm and giving. Like Lauren. But how could he ignore the attraction sizzling between them? The beautiful academic was starting to make him believe in second chances. Could he give Lauren the most wonderful Christmas gift of all–love?
It appeared Santa wasn’t immune to her charms.
The desire flickering in his suddenly dark depths told her Santa was having some naughty thoughts of his own. The realization gave her the courage she needed to wrap her arms around his neck. “I’ve always wanted to kiss a man with a beard.”
“That’s one Christmas wish that’s easy to fulfill.” Without warning Seth’s mouth closed over hers. His hands splayed against her back and he pulled her as tight as his overstuffed belly would permit.
Waves of desire washed over Lauren and she gave in to the moment, until an excited voice cut through the passionate fog.
“Daddy, Daddy, come quick,” Dani called from the doorway. “Santa is kissing Miss Lauren.”
Dear Reader,
Every author has books that are special to them. Some of my personal favorites are ones that involve children, especially little girls. This is probably because I have a daughter of my own. Children add their own special flavor to a book because, as we all know, you can never tell what’s going to come out of their mouths!
But in a romance, children serve another purpose, as well. How the hero (in this case, Seth) relates to his daughter, Dani, tells us a lot about him. To me, there is nothing more sexy and appealing than a man who is a good father.
In falling in love with Seth and choosing eventually to make her life with him, Lauren is also choosing to make her life with Dani. It was important to me to show she would be not only a good wife to Seth, but a good mother to Dani. When I ended this book, I had no doubts these three were perfectly matched and would have a wonderful future together.
That’s why I love writing for Special Edition. These are stories about real people finding their happily-ever-after. Seth and Lauren and Dani found theirs. I hope you find yours, too!
Warmest regards,
Cindy Kirk
Merry Christmas, Cowboy!
Cindy Kirk
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
CINDY KIRK
has loved to read for as long as she can remember. In first grade she received an award for reading one hundred books. Growing up, summers were her favorite time of the year. Nothing beat going to the library, then coming home and curling up in front of the window air conditioner with a good book. Often the novels she read would spur ideas and she’d make up her own story (always with a happy ending). When she’d go to bed at night, instead of counting sheep, she’d make up more stories in her head. Since selling her first story to Harlequin Books in 1999, Cindy has been forced to juggle her love of reading with her passion for creating stories of her own…but she doesn’t mind. Writing for Special Edition is a dream come true. She only hopes you have as much fun reading her books as she has writing them!
Cindy invites you to visit her Web site at www.cindykirk.com.
To Patience Smith.
I can’t believe it’s been ten years since you bought
my first book. Working with you this past decade has
been pure pleasure. I’ve learned so much from you.
You’re knowledgeable, professional but also great fun.
I can’t wait to see what the next ten years bring!
To Shana Smith,
editorial assistant, for all your work on this book. I very
much appreciated your insightful comments. You have
a great future ahead of you in the publishing business!
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Epilogue
Chapter One
“Are you asking me to move in with you?” Lauren Van Meveren placed the cup on her kitchen counter and stared at the handsome rancher.
Seth Anderssen, known in Sweet River, Montana, for his quick wit, didn’t miss a beat. “I guess I am. ’Cept we’ll have separate rooms and you’ll be there to tend to my daughter’s needs, not mine.”
Only when he chuckled did Lauren realize how her question actually sounded. She swallowed a groan. For an intelligent woman on the verge of earning her PhD in psychology, sometimes she could be amazingly inept.
“I knew that.” She met his gaze and shrugged, the cool response at odds with her rapidly beating heart. “We don’t have that kind of relationship. We’ve never even kissed.”
“That could easily be remedied.” His eyes took on an impish gleam and she caught a glimpse of the boy who’d once dropped a frog down the front of his sister’s dress.
“True.” Lauren kept her tone deliberately light. “Pressing lips together isn’t that difficult.”
“Is that all you think kissing is?”
Lauren thought of the few men she’d kissed. Ones with brilliant minds who appealed to her intellectual side. Ones with a sexual magnetism who appealed to her physical side. “It can be, more or less, depending on the man.”
Though she had the feeling with Seth it would be more. Since she’d moved to Sweet River five months ago, the way Lauren viewed him had changed dramatically. He was no longer simply the trustworthy older brother of her good friend Anna, the guy she’d met her freshman year in college when he’d driven to Denver to move his sister into the dorm.
At thirty-two, the widower and doting father of one was a well-respected rancher and head of the local cattlemen’s association. He was a man who—despite his own obligations—had gone out of his way to help her find subjects for her dissertation research. And with his dark blond hair, scintillating blue eyes and superbuff body, he was, hands down, the hottest guy in Yellowstone County.
However, unlike other single women in Sweet River, Lauren didn’t have happily-ever-after designs on him. Seth’s roots in this ranching community ran deep. And no matter how much she’d enjoyed her stay, it didn’t take an IQ of one hundred and sixty to know she’d never be able to realize her dreams here.
“Forget about kissing for a minute,” Seth said. “Will you do it, Lauren?”
Do it? Her eyes widened in surprise before she shook herself and jolted herself back to reality. “Hmm?”
“Will you move in and help me take care of Dani?” His tone was low, persuasive and sexy as hell.
The air between them thickened. Beams of light spilled through the lace curtains, turning Seth’s hair to spun gold. The dark blue depths of his eyes beckoned, tempting Lauren to step off the firm shore of complete control to a place where she could be over her head in seconds. His cologne teased her nostrils, the woodsy scent making her feel warm and tingly inside.
Lauren wanted nothing more than to say yes. But she’d never acted impulsively and she wasn’t about to start now.
“I understand the predicament you’re in, what with your housekeeper being too old to care for an injured child and all.” Lauren instinctively slipped into the calm rational tone she used when counseling patients. “However, taking care of a seven-year-old for three weeks is a huge responsibility.”
Disappointment skittered across Seth’s face and Lauren stifled a groan. Instead of reassuring him, her words had caused him to jump to the wrong conclusion. “I’m not saying that I won’t—”
“You don’t have to beat around the bush. If you don’t want to help us, just say so.” He rocked back on his heels and blew out a harsh breath. “I know she can be a handful, even when she’s well, but with a broken leg and arm—”
“This isn’t about Dani.” For a woman who prided herself on her communication skills, she was doing an abysmal job with this conversation.
“I don’t understand.” Seth’s intense blue eyes pinned her. “Is it me? Have I offended you in some way?”
“Not at all.”
The lines furrowing his brow eased and a look of relief crossed his face. “Then what’s the problem?”
“I want to be certain my work won’t interfere with my being able to care for Dani.” Not only did Lauren need to finalize her dissertation research, her counseling practice had grown consistently since she’d begun seeing clients several months earlier. She had to figure out how she’d be able to fit those sessions into her schedule and meet Dani’s needs, too. “Could I give you my answer in a few days, say right after Christmas?”
Anna had told her Seth had already made arrangements for one of the ranch hands to do his chores until January 1, so he could care for his daughter over the holidays. With Christmas being the day after tomorrow, if she said no, that would give him a week to find someone else. But Lauren hoped she’d be able to help him out. Dani was a precious little girl and Seth was a decent, hardworking man in a tough spot.
“After the holiday will work,” Seth said, surprisingly agreeable.
“I’m really not trying to put you off,” Lauren said.
“I know you’re not. You have valid concerns. My daughter isn’t going to be an easy one to watch.” Seth’s lips quirked upward. “She’s going to find those activity limitations hard to bear.”
“Keeping her occupied and stimulated will be a challenge.” Still, Lauren appreciated the child’s headstrong nature. In many ways Dani reminded Lauren of herself at that age. Perhaps that’s why she felt a special affinity for the little girl. She remembered the shock she’d felt when Anna had called and told her about the accident.
“Dani was incredibly lucky,” Lauren continued. “To end up with just a couple broken bones is nothing short of a miracle.”
“I don’t know what I’d have done if I’d lost her.” Seth’s voice thickened and his fingers tightened on the brim of the cowboy hat he clutched in one hand. “I should have made sure John Redmond knew I didn’t want her on an ATV.”
Seth didn’t need to elaborate. Everyone in town had heard the story. How Dani was playing at her friend Emily’s house. How Emily’s brother, Kyle, had decided to give the girls rides on his ATV. How none of the three had been wearing helmets.
Though hitting a rock in a pasture could happen to anyone, it was rumored Kyle had been going too fast. While the boy had been uninjured when the ATV had flipped, Dani had been thrown a full fifty feet. When the volunteer rescue squad had arrived, she’d been unconscious. The paramedics feared she’d injured her spine. Thankfully she’d only sustained a broken arm and leg and a mild concussion.
“Kids play. They get hurt.” Lauren’s childhood hadn’t been that way, but from the stories her friends told, it was amazing some of them had lived to adulthood. “The accident wasn’t your fault.”
“It was my fault.” Seth’s eyes flashed. “I’m her father. I promised Jan I’d keep our daughter safe.”
Lauren tried to hide her surprise. Seth rarely talked about the hometown girl he’d married in college who’d died from cancer three years ago.
“I understand you feel guilty,” Lauren said in a soothing tone. “But some things are out of your control.”
He lifted his chin in a stubborn tilt. “If I’d made it clear Dani wasn’t to ride the three-wheeler, she’d never have gotten hurt.”
It was becoming increasingly apparent to Lauren that nothing would be gained from pursuing this topic further. Seth was responding from emotion instead of logic. She heard the guilt in his voice and saw the pain in his eyes. Though she doubted he’d ever admit it, the rugged Montana cowboy looked like a man in desperate need of a hug.
Impulsively Lauren stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, just as she always did with her friends Anna and Stacie when they needed comforting. Surprisingly, he let her pull him close. “You’re a good dad, Seth,” she whispered against the smooth fabric of the coat he hadn’t bothered to take off. “Don’t let anyone tell you differently.”
For a brief moment in time, they stood wrapped in each other’s arms. Having this handsome cowboy in her arms was very different than hugging a girlfriend. They fit together perfectly, just like in her dreams. As she breathed in the clean, fresh scent of him, she experienced an overwhelming urge to nuzzle his neck. But Lauren kept her lips to herself. Something told her this wasn’t a man who’d be satisfied with a brief fling.
Stepping back, Lauren let her hands drop to her sides. “Can I get you a cup of coffee? I just brewed a pot. I’ve also got sour-cream cake doughnuts Stacie brought by last night. She’s trying some new recipes and wanted me to check them out. I also have a couple of blueberry ones and some—”
She stopped midsentence and clamped her mouth shut. She was babbling—an unattractive quality under any circumstances.
“I’m not hungry but coffee sounds good.” Seth’s smile was easy, but there was awareness in his eyes that hadn’t been there before the embrace.
“Cream and sugar?”
“Black works for me.”
Lauren grabbed a mug from the cupboard. She was pleased, but perplexed. When Seth first arrived, he’d mentioned that Connie Swenson, his foreman’s wife, was watching Dani this afternoon so he could run errands. Lauren had thought he’d be eager to get home. After all, he’d barely left Dani’s side since the accident. Yet now he shrugged out of his heavy coat and draped it over one of the kitchen chairs as if he had all day.
Lauren couldn’t pull her gaze from him. The colors in his flannel shirt made his eyes look like sapphires. For a second she thought about telling him so. She smiled, imagining his reaction.
“What?” Seth settled into the closest chair and placed his work-hardened hands on the table.
“I like that shirt,” Lauren said. “It’s a good color for you.”
“Thanks.” He glanced down as if he’d forgotten what he wore. “Anna gave it to me for my birthday.”
“Figures. Your sister has excellent taste.” Lauren poured coffee into a mug, placed it before him then took a seat across the table. “I can’t believe she and Stacie are both married.”
Stacie had wed rancher Josh Collins in October, and Anna had married Mitch Donavan, a boyfriend from her high school days, just last week, only two days before Dani’s accident.
“Leaving you to fend for yourself.” Seth glanced around the spacious kitchen, which still retained much of its turn-of-the-century charm. “Do you ever get lonely?”
The old Victorian where Lauren resided had originally belonged to Seth and Anna’s grandmother. His sister had inherited it when Grandma Borghild had passed on several years earlier. Now Anna lived with Mitch in the log home he’d built at the foothills of the Crazy Mountains, and Lauren had this big house all to herself. Once she moved out, Anna planned to put the home on the market.
“Not really. I’ve never minded being by myself.” Lauren added a lump of sugar to her coffee and slowly stirred. “I’m an only child. When I was growing up my parents were always busy. I’m good at keeping myself occupied.”
His blue eyes filled with understanding as his hands wrapped around the warm mug. “Dani is like that, too. She can play by herself for hours. Which is a good and a bad thing.”
Lauren raised a brow.
“I worry about her being alone so much,” he explained. “That’s why I make sure to spend quality time with her every evening. And to invite friends over to play so she can learn to share and have an opportunity to socialize. I’m sure your parents did the same for you.”
Lauren wondered what he’d say if she told him she seriously doubted they’d ever given her needs that much thought. She’d been an unplanned late-in-life baby. Both had been determined not to let her arrival impact their careers.
“They did their best.” Lauren kept her answer simple. When it came to discussing her parents, the less said the better. She decided to change the subject. “I can’t believe Christmas is this weekend.”
“I know.” Seth took a sip of coffee. “Are you going home for the holidays?”
“My parents like to spend Christmas in Paris.” Lauren found herself strangely embarrassed by the admission. “Going to France has become a holiday tradition for them. Since they live on separate coasts it’s a good way for them to reconnect.”
Seth’s brows pulled together. “They don’t live together?”
“They do,” Lauren said. “About ten percent of the time.”
Confusion blanketed Seth’s face. “Are they separated?”
“Only by distance. My father teaches at Stanford.” Lauren kept her tone light. “My mother is at Cornell.”
Seth’s eyes widened but he immediately brought his expression under control. “Yet they’re married.”
“Thirty-five years next month.” Lauren added another lump of sugar to her coffee. “They have a modern ‘commuter marriage.’”
It wasn’t the kind of union most would choose, but it worked for them. She took a sip of coffee and grimaced at the sweetness.
“Hmm.” Seth hesitated, obviously subscribing to the tenet if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. “It must be hard, having them both far away.”
“I’m used to it.” After all, even when she was with them, she felt in the way. “What’s difficult is being without Stacie and Anna.”
Unexpected tears stung the backs of Lauren’s lids. Though Christmas was only a few days away, she’d avoided thinking about the new reality as much as possible. It was too easy to get into “pity party” mode and that wasn’t fair to anyone. She was happy for both her friends. Happy they’d found someone they loved. Happy they’d found their bliss in Montana…but not happy to be the odd one out.
“I’m surprised neither of them invited you to spend Christmas with them.” A look of disappointment skittered across Seth’s face. “That sure doesn’t sound like Anna. Or Stacie, either.”
“They did invite me,” Lauren reassured him. “But they’re both newlyweds. I’m not going to crash their first holiday with their new husbands.”
“I suppose,” Seth reluctantly agreed.
“There’s no supposing about it,” Lauren said firmly. “They shouldn’t have to worry about entertaining me.”
“You’re being an awfully good sport,” Seth said.
Lauren couldn’t understand the admiration in his tone. “Anyone would feel the same.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure of that.” Seth paused for a moment. “I’ve got an idea. How ’bout you join Dani and me? The food won’t be anything special but it’ll be edible. It’d be great to have another adult around on Christmas Eve, and I know my daughter would enjoy having a different face to look at besides mine.”
Before she could politely refuse the offer, Seth reached across the table and took her hand. “I’d really like you to spend Christmas Eve at the ranch.”
Lauren was sure he’d meant it only as a kind gesture, an innocent show of friendship. But there was nothing innocent about the jolt of desire that shot through her. Her first reaction was to snatch her hand away, but that would make her look like a fool. Besides, she really liked the feel of his warm, strong touch.
She reminded herself that he was merely showing his support. And his offer was probably no more than any person in this small town would make.
“I make a great prime rib,” he added in a persuasive tone. “And I promise the brussels sprouts will stay in the freezer.”
Just say no. She could hear her father’s stern voice in her head. Concentrate on your dissertation. Your career must be your priority.
Still, Lauren’s entire being rebelled against the prospect of eating a frozen dinner in front of a computer screen on Christmas Eve. And really, what would be the harm in accepting Seth’s offer? It was just dinner. And she had to eat…
“C’mon, Lauren, say yes.” His fingers tightened around hers. “Aside from pleasing Dani, it’ll be a great way for us to get to know each other better.”
Lauren’s heart skipped a beat. When he put it that way, how could she refuse?
Chapter Two
“I told Seth that Dani could move in with Mitch and me until the casts come off.” Anna Donavan’s words were muffled by the scarf shielding her face from the harsh Montana wind.
Lauren hunched her shoulders and shoved her gloved hands into the pockets of her jacket. She resisted the urge to tell Anna to hurry up and open the door. Anna hated the cold as much as Lauren did and the fact that she’d stayed in town and reopened her shop on Christmas Eve was a testament to their friendship. “I bet your brother just wants to keep things as normal as possible for her. That means sleeping in her own bed.”
“That makes sense,” Anna said grudgingly, heaving an audible sigh when the store key slid into the lock. She turned the handle, pushed open the door and flipped on the lights before stepping aside to let Lauren slip past.
Lauren could feel her blood start to thaw as soon as the door shut behind her, blocking the wind. A blast from a heater duct provided a warm welcome. After a few seconds, Lauren pulled her hands from her pockets and glanced around. Two gifts shouldn’t be hard to find. Not in this store.
Sew-fisticated was the name of the eclectic shop Anna owned, along with one of her former high school classmates, Cassie Els. Cassie was a fantastic seamstress and Anna a talented designer. In addition to custom-designed clothing, they offered clothing repair, knitting classes and quilting supplies. And for Christmas the store had been stocked with a variety of popular gift items.
“I didn’t know you were starting quilting classes.” Lauren stared at the brightly colored notice on the community bulletin board.
“Cassie will be doing the teaching. I’ll be doing the learning.” Anna pulled the scarf from her head, sending flakes of wet snow flying.
“You?” Lauren didn’t bother hiding her surprise. Anna had always been the trendiest and most fashion oriented of the three friends. “Quilting doesn’t seem like your thing.”
“That’s what Mitch said.” Anna laughed, her voice filled with love for her husband of ten days. “Actually that’s not true. What he said was I’m constantly surprising him.”
The way her face glowed, Lauren surmised that Mitch was enjoying the surprises. “But quilting?”
“It’s very fashionable,” Anna said. “Just like knitting. Women are searching for something real, something they can hold in their hands.”
Lauren’s skepticism must have shown because Anna chuckled. “I know it’s a change for me, but the design part of the process fascinates me. Plus I like the idea of making something that can be passed down from one generation to another.”
While that was a rather old-fashioned concept, Lauren recognized the appeal. “Makes sense.”
“You could join me,” Anna urged. “It’d be more fun to learn with a friend.”
“Um, no thanks. Not my thing.” Lauren moved to a counter showcasing several varieties of men’s gloves. She took off her mittens and touched a pair made of soft pig suede. “Do you think Seth would like these?”
Anna moved to Lauren’s side and studied the gloves with a critical eye. “These are lined with soft acrylic pile for added warmth. And they’re nice enough to wear when he goes out, but sturdy enough for some of the lighter ranch work.”
Lauren smiled at her friend’s enthusiasm. Anna had worked retail for years before opening her own shop. It was easy to see why she’d been so successful. “I’ll take the gloves for Seth and that necklace with the pink heart for Dani.”
“I’ll wrap them for you.” Anna took the gloves from Lauren’s hands and removed the necklace from a display. Even as she put the items in stenciled gift bags, she glanced at Lauren. “My brother wouldn’t expect you to bring gifts.”
“I’m sure you’re right.” Lauren lifted one shoulder in an unconcerned shrug. “But he was nice enough to invite me to share his Christmas Eve and I want to bring something.”
“You could have come to my house.” Anna tied each bag shut with a red raffia bow. “Both Mitch and I wanted you with us.”
The sincerity in her friend’s tone brought a lump to Lauren’s throat. Stacie had assured her of that same fact just this morning. Having two such wonderful friends almost made up for not hearing from her parents.
“You and Stacie are the best,” Lauren said. “But you have husbands now—”
“I told you—”
“—and besides, this will give me a chance to get to know Seth and Dani better.” Since her conversation with Seth yesterday, Christmas Eve with him and his daughter had been constantly on Lauren’s mind. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t thought of bringing gifts until this afternoon.
“It looks like the snow is picking up.” Through the front window of the shop, the streetlight illuminated the swirling flakes. “You’re really going all the way out to the ranch for just a few hours?”
“Actually—” Lauren struggled to keep her voice casual and offhand “—I’m spending the night.”
Seth wheeled his 4x4 to the curb in front of his sister’s shop and parked behind his brother-in-law’s Jeep. In the half hour it had taken him to drive from his ranch into Sweet River, the snow had started to pick up, making it increasingly difficult to see.
Pulling his hood up over his stocking cap, Seth opened the door and stepped into the brisk north wind. He raised a hand in greeting to Mitch and waited for his friend to get out of the Jeep. If you factored in the wind chill, the temperature had to be below zero.
“Cold enough for you?” Mitch slammed the door of his Jeep and jammed his hands into his pockets.
“This?” Seth scoffed. “Practically balmy.”
“Yeah, real balmy,” Mitch muttered. “I went to fill up the Jeep and practically froze to death.”
Seth chuckled and followed him inside, calling out a greeting to his sister and Lauren. Lauren smiled and brushed a strand of silvery-blond hair back from her face. The elegant gesture only emphasized her cool beauty.
He pulled his attention from her and focused on the shop. For an older building, it was surprisingly warm. Seth unzipped his coat. It had been a week or so since he’d been inside. Even in that short time, he could see the improvements his sister had made.
He experienced a surge of pride. For years Anna had struggled to find her place in the world. But since she’d returned to Sweet River, she’d come into her own. She was happy now, content with her life. Everything she’d been searching for in Colorado she’d found on her return to the community where she’d grown up. She had a man she loved and now a thriving new business. It wouldn’t surprise Seth if he’d be welcoming a new niece or nephew in the next year.
Yes, his sister had it all. The realization was bittersweet. He’d been in her position once. Three years ago he’d had a wife he loved. And, fool that he was, he’d taken that blessing for granted.
“Looks like the snow is really starting to fly,” Anna said with a worried frown, her gaze settling on the melting flakes dripping from his boots onto the hardwood floor.
“The roads are okay for now.” Mitch moved from the entryway to his wife’s side, slipping an arm around her waist and brushing a kiss across her cheek. “But the sooner we get moving, the better.”
Anna leaned against her husband with an intimacy that made Seth’s chest tighten. She ignored her husband’s subtle hint to hurry and instead shifted her gaze to Seth. “I learned something very interesting this evening.”
Seth supposed he could ask what she’d learned. But from her expression she was going to tell him whether he asked or not.
“I invite you and Dani to spend Christmas Eve at my house. You turn me down. I tell you we’ll come to your house. You say no.” His sister’s voice trembled with pent-up emotion. “Then I find out that not only are you spending the evening with Lauren, she’s also spending the night at your house.”
Seth clenched his jaw. He’d known he wouldn’t be able to keep Lauren’s visit quiet. That would be asking too much in a town the size of Sweet River. But he really hadn’t wanted to deal with the issue tonight.
He shot a glance in Lauren’s direction. She lifted one shoulder in a slight shrug. “Anna and I don’t have any secrets.”
“You dog.” Mitch punched his arm. “You didn’t tell me you and Lauren had hooked up.”
Seth’s spine went rigid. “We’re—”
“We haven’t hooked up,” Lauren said with a dismissive wave. “Seth invited me to have dinner with him and Dani. I accepted. That’s all.”
“That’s all?” The devilish gleam in Mitch’s eyes was at odds with his innocent expression. “What about the sleepover?”
“You know how the roads are where I live.” Seth met Mitch’s gaze. “I have a perfectly good guest room. It seemed easier for Lauren to stay than to take her all the way home late at night.”
“And this way I get to see Dani open her gifts,” Lauren added.
“And I won’t,” Anna said.
Seth saw the disappointment in his sister’s eyes. Heard it in her words. He swallowed a curse. He’d never intended to hurt Anna. Yet he had. And he understood why she was confused. On the surface the choices he’d made didn’t make sense. Why would he invite Lauren and not his family?
The answer was impossible to share. How could he tell the bubbly bride that seeing her so happy and in love was like a knife to the heart, reminding him of what he’d once had and lost? He would not burden Anna with something that was his problem, his weakness.
Finding another woman and falling in love again would help fill the void in his life but that wasn’t an option. He’d promised his wife on her deathbed that he wouldn’t remarry until Dani was out of high school. And he was a man of his word.
Asking Lauren to join him and Dani had been a spur-of-the-moment action. He’d had second thoughts about the invitation almost as soon as the words left his mouth. Still, Dani had been thrilled when she’d learned Lauren would be joining them.
From the moment Lauren had set foot in Sweet River six months ago, his daughter had taken an instant liking to the beautiful professor.
“So what’s the explanation?” Anna demanded when the silence lengthened. “Why didn’t you want to spend Christmas with me?”
“You just got married.” Seth picked up a pair of gloves from the display even as his gaze remained fixed on his sister. “I wanted you and Mitch to be able to enjoy the holiday without any family pressures.”
It wasn’t the whole truth but it was close enough. Though Anna and Mitch had delayed their wedding trip until March, they were technically still honeymooners.
“You know Seth loves you,” Lauren said in a soft voice. “I’m sure he only wants what’s best for you.”
“Maybe. Let’s say I believe you had my best interests at heart.” Anna snatched the gloves from his hands and slapped them against the counter. “Next time you give me the choice.”
He’d hurt her. He saw that now. He’d been so focused on his own needs that he’d failed to consider hers. “I’m sorry, Anna. If you and Mitch want to come over tonight—”
“We’re celebrating with Mitch’s family this evening,” Anna said. “But we’re free tomorrow.”
Seeing the unsure look in her eyes only added to Seth’s guilt. He smiled encouragingly. “Why don’t you come over in the morning. You can watch Dani open her gifts, and we can all have lunch, maybe play some cards.”
“C’mon, Anna, say yes,” Lauren urged. “It’d be so much fun.”
“It would be fun.” Anna slanted a sideways glance at Mitch and he nodded. “What time?”
Seth thought for a minute. “Nine?”
“We’ll be there,” Anna said, the light back in her eyes.
Lauren squeezed Anna’s arm. “I’m so happy you’re coming.”
Anna smiled. “Me, too.”
Seth let his gaze linger on Lauren. She’d always been such a good, supportive friend to his sister. And she’d always gone out of her way to be nice to him. Any regret over his impromptu invitation disappeared. He was glad she’d be spending Christmas with him and Dani.
She caught him staring and smiled.
“Ready to go?” he asked. “I don’t want to keep Connie away from her own family any longer than necessary.”
Lauren grabbed her coat and bags from the counter. “We just need to stop by the house for my overnight bag.”
Overnight. The impact of what he’d done struck him. A woman would be spending the night in his home. Not any woman, he clarified, Dani’s potential babysitter. The tightness gripping his chest eased.
Lauren gave Mitch and then Anna a quick hug. “See you tomorrow.”
The physical contact surprised him. He’d never thought of Lauren as the touchy-feely type. She’d always seemed more…businesslike.
Of course, she had hugged him in her kitchen only a few days earlier. The feel of her soft body pressed against him had brought all sorts of memories and feelings flooding back. Even though he’d told himself it was just a simple hug by his sister’s friend, his body hadn’t gotten the message. He was just relieved Lauren hadn’t noticed.
“Are you feeling okay?”
Seth looked up to find Anna staring. “Why do you ask?”
“You look a little flushed.”
He ran a finger along the inside collar of his coat. “That’s because you keep it like an oven in here.”
“Hot?” Mitch laughed. “Are you crazy? I can see my breath.”
“Speaking of temperature…” Anna turned to Lauren. “If you get cold in his house, don’t ask, just turn up the thermostat. My darling brother is like an Eskimo.” Anna shook her head. “I practically have to wear my coat inside his home.”
Granted Seth was most comfortable with the house cool, but Anna was exaggerating. “You didn’t wear your jacket when you and Mitch stopped out a couple days ago.”
“That’s because Mitch was there to keep me warm.” Anna cupped her husband’s face with her hand and planted a lengthy kiss on his more-than-willing lips.
“Not warm. Hot.” Mitch’s hands slid sensuously up and down his wife’s back. “I keep you hot.”
“You most certainly do.” Anna breathed a happy sigh before shifting her gaze back to Seth and Lauren. “That’s another option for you.”
“Option for what?” Lauren asked, looking perplexed.
Anna put her hands on her hips. “Must I spell everything out?”
The twinkle lurking in Anna’s eyes sent red flags popping up. A shiver of unease skittered up Seth’s spine. “That’s okay—”
“Spell it out,” Lauren said innocently, obviously not sensing the danger.
“Personal contact,” Anna said. “Why worry about the thermostat when you have in your power the capability to generate your own heat?”
“Anna,” Seth growled in warning.
“Are you suggesting I sleep with your brother?” Lauren sounded more amused than shocked.
“I’ll leave the specifics to you.” Anna’s lips curved in a sly smile.
“You have gone too far,” Seth said between gritted teeth. “To suggest—”
His words were drowned out by the sound of Lauren’s laughter. “Thanks for the great advice, Anna. If I get cold I’ll definitely consider your suggestion.”
Chapter Three
Lauren gazed down at the Candyland game board spread out before her, the brightly colored spaces creating a cheery pattern on Seth’s family room floor. As she prepared to take her turn, she wiped the beads of sweat from her brow. She couldn’t believe Anna thought Seth kept his home too cool.
Pushing the sleeves of her sweater up to her elbows, Lauren removed the top card from the stack and flipped it over. Yellow. She moved her marker three steps forward to the next space of that color. Behind her a blazing fire crackled in the hearth. The buttery smell of the popcorn they’d eaten earlier in the evening still hung in the air.
After dinner, instead of playing the game at the table—as Lauren had expected—Seth had placed it on the floor in front of the fireplace. Then he’d used pillows to prop Dani up against the sofa right in front of the game. The proximity hadn’t helped. With her right arm in a bright pink cast and her left leg in a plastic walker cast, Dani still needed help playing the game.
“Your turn.” Seth picked up the stack of cards and held them out to his daughter. With her left hand, Dani flipped over the top card.
A huge smile spread across the child’s face.
Seth glanced at the board and groaned loudly before moving her piece to the last rainbow space. He shifted his gaze to Lauren and heaved a dramatic sigh. “Can you believe she beat us again?”
“Super job, Dani.” Lauren grinned. Competitive as she was, the look of pleasure on the little girl’s face made losing painless. “You’re definitely the Candyland Queen.”
“I know I am,” Dani said with childlike honesty. “Now I want to play Go Fish.”
Lauren widened her eyes in mock surprise. “Go fishing? In this weather?”
Dani’s giggles turned to peals of laughter. “It’s a card game, silly.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever played it.” Though she’d heard of it, there weren’t many children’s games Lauren had played. The day school she’d attended had been focused on academics, and her evenings had been filled with “enrichment” activities.
“I can teach you.” Dani’s voice quivered with excitement. “It’s not hard. And it’s really, really fun.”
“You’ll have to show her tomorrow.” Seth glanced at the clock on the wall as it began to chime. “It’s nine o’clock and your bedtime. Tomorrow will be a big day.”
The child’s pout morphed into a smile. “I’ve been super-duper good this year.” She leaned forward, resting her arm cast on the leg propped up on a pillow. “Santa is going to bring me lots and lots and lots of presents. Right, Daddy?”
Lauren sat back, curious how Seth would respond.
“I’m sure you’ll get some,” he said in a matter-of-fact tone. “But Santa will be stopping at the homes of many other children who’ve also been good. He has to have presents to give them, too.”
Lauren shifted her gaze from Seth to Dani then back to Seth. Surely Dani didn’t actually believe in Santa Claus. Lauren’s parents had set her straight at a young age about the jolly bearded man, a figure perpetuated by advertising firms and retailers.
“I want to go to bed now,” Dani announced. “’Cause if I’m not asleep, Santa won’t stop.”
Seth nodded his approval. “Did Mrs. Swenson help you wash up this evening?”
Dani nodded. “But I do have to go to the bathroom.”
“I can take her,” Lauren volunteered, not sure what helping would involve, but willing to try. After a delicious dinner of prime rib and mac ‘n’ cheese followed by three fast-paced games of Candyland, she was ready to stretch her legs.
“Thanks, but I’ve got it covered.” Seth pushed to his feet, leaned over and lifted Dani into his arms then whinnied. “Hold on, cowgirl. The horsey is leaving the starting gate.”
Lauren stared in awe as he galloped from the room. She couldn’t imagine her father playing such a game with her. In fact, she couldn’t remember her father ever even hugging her. He had shaken her hand when she’d graduated from college. And again when she’d earned her master’s degree…
She shoved aside the memories and rose to her feet. By the time Seth trotted back to the living room with Dani, Lauren had finished her eggnog, put away the board game and returned the pillows to the sofa.
Seth smiled at Lauren as he settled Dani on the sofa. “I’ll be right back.”
He returned a moment later with a glass of milk, a plate of graham crackers and a container filled with assorted Christmas cookies. After removing the Tupperware lid, Seth carefully placed the container on Dani’s lap then held out the plate.
Lauren stared with interest at the array of cookies. She couldn’t believe they were going to eat more after the big dinner and popcorn they’d already consumed. “They look delicious but I don’t think I can eat another bite.”
“These aren’t for us.” Dani’s fingers tightened around the lip of the container, as if fearful Lauren was going to snatch them away and gobble them down. “These are for Santa.”
Dani selected three of the most brightly colored sugar ones and carefully placed them on the Christmas plate.
“He gets milk, too.” Seth positioned the plate next to the glass on the table.
“And we put out extra for the reindeer,” Dani added.
“Yep.” Seth nodded, his lips quirking upward. “They have a lot of flying to do. They need to keep their energy up.”
Lauren’s smile froze on her face.
“Time for bed, kiddo.” Seth scooped Dani into his arms. Though the plastic cast had a rocker ball so she could walk without putting pressure on the fractured leg, Seth had told Lauren that the doctor preferred Dani keep her weight off it for at least the next couple of days. “Tell Miss Lauren good-night.”
Seth stepped closer and the exuberant seven-year-old surprised Lauren by flinging an arm around her neck and planting a big kiss on her cheek. “Thank you for coming and eating and playing Candyland with me.”
Lauren gently smoothed a strand of hair back from the child’s brow. With her blond curls tousled around her face, Dani looked like a little angel. “Merry Christmas, Danica.”
“Merry Christmas to you, too,” Dani called to Lauren as her father carried her from the room.
Since her injury, the child had been sleeping in the master bedroom on the main floor, while Seth had moved to the guest room. When he’d shown Lauren the bedrooms, he’d made it clear that if she did agree to move in, the guest room would be hers and he’d sleep in Dani’s canopy bed.
The thought of the rugged cowboy in the tiny twin bed with its frilly pink-and-white bedspread brought a smile to Lauren’s lips. As if her musings had conjured him up, Lauren heard the click of cowboy boots on hardwood. She turned to find Seth in the doorway, a satisfied smile on his face. “Surely she’s not already asleep?”
“She’s pretending to be,” Seth said with a grin that caused her breath to catch in her throat. “She wants Santa to show up and knows he won’t come until she’s asleep.”
The comment pulled her attention from his mouth. Though she told herself it didn’t matter if his daughter believed in mythological figures and he indulged such thinking, the strange tension gripping her said somehow it did matter.
“Isn’t Dani a little old to believe in Santa?” While it may have been a question, her tone made her feelings on the matter quite clear. And Lauren didn’t stop there. She gestured to the plate of treats and the glass of milk. “And practices such as these just fuel the illusion.”
The words hung in the air for a long moment. Lauren thought about calling them back. Though she’d meant what she’d said, she could have been more diplomatic.
To her surprise Seth didn’t seem to take offense. In fact, by the twitch of his lips, you’d have thought she’d said something amusing. He reached over and grabbed two cookies from the plate, handing one to her and keeping the other for himself. “These practices are about embracing the magic of the season.”
An illogical argument if she’d ever heard one, but charmingly delivered. Lauren took a bite of cookie and chewed for a moment. “Dani’s a smart little girl. She can’t really believe in elves and reindeer and Santa Claus.”
“She seems to,” Seth said, without a hint of embarrassment. “And as long as she does, I’m going to be supportive.”
“Supportive? Of a lie?” Lauren wasn’t sure what had gotten into her. Her training had taught her the importance of every word uttered. These outbursts weren’t like her. But something about the whole Santa lie felt…personal.
Seth’s brows pulled together and for a second he looked as if he might argue the point. But instead he shut his mouth and studied her for a long moment. “You never got to believe in Santa.”
Instead of comforting her as perhaps he’d intended, the observation stirred up a hornet’s nest of memories. Restless, she moved to the front window and, for several seconds, gazed out at the thick blanket of snow.
“My parents called him a bogus, fantasy figure,” she said, turning back to face him. “A myth that contributed to the commercialization of Christmas.”
“Did you ever go to a store and sit on his knee?” Seth asked, ignoring the outburst. “Whisper in his ear what you really wanted for Christmas?”
“Since he wasn’t real, what would have been the point? Besides, it wouldn’t have mattered,” Lauren said with a sigh. “My parents didn’t believe in giving gifts for Christmas. Still don’t.”
“Not at all?”
Lauren shook her head. “To them Christmas is just another federal holiday.”
Seth hooked his thumbs in his front pockets and appeared to ponder her words. It took a moment before he spoke. “If you could have sat on Santa’s knee and asked him for a gift when you were Dani’s age, what would it have been?”
Lauren shifted her gaze, remembering back. “There was only one thing I ever wanted for Christmas. That year I gathered my courage and approached my mother. I told her there was something I really, really wanted. I promised if she’d buy it for me I wouldn’t ask for another gift ever.”
“What did she say?”
“She asked what it was. When I told her…she laughed.” Lauren pressed her lips together, the long-ago hurt returning, squeezing her chest. She took a steadying breath. “Still, I went to bed that Christmas Eve hopeful. In the back of my little-girl mind, I thought this could be her chance, a way to show that she loved me. Crazy, huh?”
“Not crazy,” Seth said softly. “Did she buy it for you?”
Not trusting her voice, Lauren shook her head.
“What had you asked for?”
“It doesn’t matter.” Lauren shifted her gaze away from those eyes that seemed to see too much. “It was silly.”
Most men would have gratefully changed the subject. Actually most would never have pursued the topic. But she was beginning to realize Seth wasn’t most men. So Lauren wasn’t really surprised when he took her hand and tugged her to the sofa, dropping down to sit beside her. “Tell me.”
His tone invited confidences. His eyes promised no matter what she said, he wouldn’t laugh.
“A Cabbage Patch Kid.” Lauren felt her cheeks warm. She lifted her chin. “They were extremely popular when I was in grade school. My friend Wendy had seven of them. You probably don’t know what they are—”
“Spencer David.”
“What?”
“Spencer David was Anna’s Cabbage Patch doll. She got him when she was about Dani’s age.” A tiny smile lifted Seth’s lips. “She took him everywhere she went. I remember one time…”
A dimple she never knew he possessed flashed in his left cheek.
“What?” Lauren touched his arm, the flannel of his shirt soft against her fingers. She immediately released her hold and let her hand drop to her side, but her heart still fluttered.
“We were at the rodeo. Anna was about to be crowned Little Miss Yellowstone County. When my parents went down to the arena to take pictures, they left Spencer with me.” The dimple flashed again. “Just what every boy wants—to be at a public event with a doll by his side.”
Lauren resisted the urge to smile at his pained expression. “I’m sure no one even noticed.”
“No one except every friend I had, including Josh and Mitch.” Seth rolled his eyes. “You can imagine the comments. Then Wes Danker came up with the brilliant idea of throwing Spencer David over the top rail into a pile of manure. The guys were all for it.”
Lauren gasped. “Did you let him?”
“I couldn’t,” Seth said. “Anna would have been heartbroken. Not to mention mad as hell.”
Something told Lauren it wasn’t Anna’s anger that had made him protect Spencer David as much as it was the knowledge of what that doll meant to his little sister. She wondered what it’d be like to have someone care about her that much. A lump formed in her throat but she swallowed past it. “You’re a good person, Seth Anderssen.”
“Naw, just watchin’ out for my own hide.” Seth stretched and covered a yawn. “Sorry. Dani’s leg was bothering her and I hardly slept last night.”
“We can call it an evening anytime you want.” Lauren kept her tone light, not wanting him to see her disappointment. This had been the best Christmas Eve she could remember and she was reluctant to see it end. “I brought a book to read—”
“I’m not talking about going to bed right now,” Seth said, looking startled. “I was just thinking it’s time to start putting the presents under the tree.”
Lauren shifted her gaze to the eight-foot Douglas fir that sat in front of the window. New and old ornaments intermingled on the thick bushy branches. Bubble lights had replaced traditional lighting. A unique tin-punched silver star that Seth had admitted making in middle school topped the tree.
Lauren had been so awed by the massive tree and its decorations that she hadn’t noticed the lack of presents beneath its branches.
“I’ll be happy to help.” She glanced around. “Where are the gifts?”
“Hidden in one of the upstairs closets.” Seth gestured with his head toward the stairs. “But you don’t need to do a thing. I’ll change and bring them down.”
“Change?”
“Into the Santa suit.” Though they were the only two in the room, Seth’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I always wear it when putting the presents under the tree.”
Lauren paused. “But this year is diff—”
“No different.” A tiny muscle in Seth’s jaw jumped.
Lauren wasn’t about to argue. Only a few days ago Seth had faced the possibility of losing his daughter. Keeping to tradition was probably his way of reassuring himself that all was still well in his world.
“You might want to turn down the thermostat before you put on the suit.” Her lips quirked upward. “Wouldn’t want Santa to get a heatstroke.”
“It is a little warm in here,” Seth admitted.
An understatement if she’d ever heard one. Lauren chuckled. “Ya think?”
“I wanted to make sure you were comfortable.” A swath of color cut across Seth’s cheeks. “Guess I went a little overboard.”
“Only by about a gazillion degrees.” Lauren kept her tone light, ignoring the trickle of sweat slithering down her spine.
Seth rose and crossed the room to the thermostat. Almost immediately, the hot air that had been billowing out of the duct near the sofa stopped. “Better?”
“Much.”
He smiled and started for the stairs, then stopped and turned back. “Can I get you anything before I go upstairs? More eggnog? Ice water? Glass of tea?”
“I’m fine,” Lauren said, realizing she was more than fine. In fact, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so content. “I think I’ll put in another Christmas CD. Set the stage for a visit from St. Nick.”
“You’re being awfully accommodating to the bogus, fantasy figure who contributes to the commercialization of Christmas,” Seth teased.
Something about the way he said the words made Lauren grin. “Chalk it up to capturing some of that Anderssen Christmas spirit you’ve been dishing out in great abundance tonight.”
“Good to hear.” Seth smiled and her heart skipped a beat. “Back in five.”
Lauren found herself humming as she searched through the stack of Christmas CDs. She finally settled on one that featured original artists performing their classic Christmas hits. After popping the disc into the sound system, Lauren turned down the volume before returning to her seat on the sofa.
Though the furnace had stopped pumping hot air, the temperature in the room was still in the sweltering range. Lauren considered her options. She could continue to suffer in silence or she could make a small wardrobe adjustment.
In a matter of seconds, her bulky sweater was up and over her head, leaving her cool and comfortable in the skimpy black tank she’d worn underneath.
With her body temperature now under control, Lauren leaned her head back against the top of the sofa, closed her eyes and let the strains of “White Christmas” wash over her.
She’d intended to relax and enjoy the music. But when she opened her eyes to the faint jingle of bells and saw all the brightly wrapped gifts at the base of the tree, she realized she must have fallen asleep.
Lauren shifted in her seat and found Seth—er, Santa—drinking the glass of milk Dani had set out for him. “Appears circling the world in a sleigh is thirsty business.”
“It is indeed,” Seth said, the fake white beard moving up and down as he spoke in his deep fake-Santa voice. “Delivering presents is very hard work.”
Lauren studied him for a moment, then rose to her feet and strolled close. There was something about the suit that intrigued her. Perhaps it was the white fur trim on the coat. Or maybe the shiny black belt. Or the red hat with the pom-pom at the tip.
All she knew was she couldn’t take her eyes off him—er, the suit. She resisted the urge to stroke the red velour and see if it really was as soft as it appeared. Because touching the fabric would mean touching Seth…
“Are there any lumps of coal for me under that tree?” Lauren asked abruptly.
“Not a single lump,” he assured her, adding a very convincing “Ho-ho-ho.” “I have it on good authority that Lauren Van Meveren has been a very good girl this year.”
“I’m not sure your information is entirely accurate.” Lauren inhaled the intoxicating scent of his cologne and took a step closer. She’d never been attracted to overweight, white-haired, bearded men before, but for some reason she found this one incredibly sexy.
And it appeared Santa wasn’t immune to her charms. His gaze dropped to her shirt and she felt the tips of her breasts tighten.
As his gaze lingered, raw want coursed through her, igniting a need that shook her with its intensity. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d craved a man’s hands on her this badly.
The desire flickering in his suddenly dark eyes told her Santa was having some naughty thoughts of his own. The realization gave her the courage she needed to wrap her arms around his neck. “I’ve always wanted to kiss a man with a beard.”
Seth stiffened and for a second she worried she’d misread the signals. Then, without warning, his mouth closed over hers. His hands splayed against her back and he pulled her as close as his overstuffed belly would permit.
Waves of desire washed over Lauren and she gave in to the moment, until an excited voice cut through the passionate fog.
“Daddy, Daddy, come quick!” Dani called from the doorway. “Santa is kissing Miss Lauren!”
Chapter Four
Seth wrenched himself out of Lauren’s arms and raced for the stairs, his stuffed belly jiggling like a bowl full of jelly. Out of the corner of his eyes he caught a glimpse of Dani’s face. Mouth open. Eyes wide.
Four steps up was all it took for Seth to lasso in his rioting emotions. Running wasn’t the answer. There was a child—his child—to consider. He rested a white-gloved hand on the rail, turned and let loose his best “Ho-ho-ho!” before continuing heartily, “Danica Sue Anderssen, Santa hopes you like your gifts. You’ve been a very good girl this year.”
Warmth rushed through him at the look of pleasure that flushed his daughter’s face.
“I have been good, Santa.” Dani’s words tumbled out one after the other. “My daddy says I’m the best girl ever.”
Not sure how to respond, Seth gave another, “Ho-ho-ho!”
He realized he should have thought of something better when Dani’s eyes darted around the room. “Where is Daddy?”
“He went upstairs.” Lauren’s voice was calm and serene.
If the kiss had affected her, it certainly didn’t show. Seth wasn’t sure why the thought brought a surge of disappointment.
“Daddy! Daddy!” Dani bellowed, her tone reverberating with excitement. “Come see who’s here!”
Lauren’s gaze met his, her green eyes piercing.
Go. Go. Go.
Across the distance, the unspoken words slapped Seth in the face, rousing him to action.
“The reindeer are restless,” Seth said in his deepest Santa voice. “We’ve many stops still to make. I thank you for the cookies and milk. And the reindeer thank you, too.”
Without saying another word, Seth whirled and raced up the stairs. By the time he reached the guest room, the Santa suit was almost off. In record time the beard was discarded and the suit and accessories back in the closet.
Dressed now in the jeans and shirt he’d worn underneath, Seth took a deep steadying breath. He could do this. He had to do this. There was no way he was going to let an impulsive action steal his daughter’s innocent belief in Santa.
With that thought firmly in front of him, Seth sauntered down the stairs as if he hadn’t a care in the world. When he saw Dani seated on the sofa next to Lauren, his heart slammed against his ribs. So much hinged on how he handled these next few minutes. Calling upon the acting experience gleaned from several high school plays, Seth forced what he hoped could pass for an excited expression. “Did you see Santa?”
“I saw him.” Dani bounced up and down on the sofa. “I saw him kissing Miss Lauren.”
Seth had never blushed in his life but at that moment he came pretty darn close. Somehow he managed to meet Lauren’s gaze. “You were kissing Santa?”
Even to his own ears, his shock sounded genuine.
“Guilty as charged.” Lauren lifted a hand, the twinkle in her eyes taking him by surprise. “I gave him a friendly kiss to say thanks for stopping by.”
“It was like the kisses Aunt Anna gives Uncle Mitch when they’re in the kitchen alone,” Dani said in a loud voice. “She had her arms around him and everything.”
Seth closed his eyes. Dear God, could this get any worse? He opened his eyes a second later to the sound of Lauren’s laughter.
“What can I say? I was swept away. The old bearded guy knows how to kiss.” Lauren shot him a wink.
Though Seth told himself it shouldn’t matter what Lauren thought of his kissing ability, his chest puffed with pride. If he was being honest, he’d admit that for a second, he’d been swept away, too. He’d forgotten how good it felt to hold a woman. How good it felt to have soft, warm lips pressed against his. Most of all, how good it felt to simply be that close to another human being.
The three years since Jan passed had been lonely ones. Oh, he kept busy raising Dani and running the ranch. He played ball with his friends and went to church with his neighbors. But he hadn’t realized until now how much he missed physical intimacy.
“What happened to Santa, Daddy?” Dani’s sweet voice broke through his thoughts. “Where did he go?”
“Out the bedroom window,” Seth said. “The reindeer were pawing the roof. I’m surprised you didn’t hear them. I think they were eager to deliver more presents.”
Dani’s mouth formed a perfect O. “Did you see them? Did you see Rudolph?”
“Yes, Seth,” Lauren asked, her lips twitching. “Was Rudolph with them?”
“Everything happened so fast.” Though it seemed weird to be having a conversation about a reindeer, Seth somehow managed to keep a straight face. “I’m afraid I didn’t look for him.”
Dani exhaled a heavy sigh. “I wish I could have seen Rudolph and the other reindeer.”
“Me, too.” Lauren reached over and gave Dani a sympathetic hug. “At least we got to see Santa.”
Lauren’s generosity of spirit toward his daughter continued to amaze him.
“When I heard bells jingling, I knew it was Santa,” Dani said to Lauren, her expression oh-so-earnest. “That’s why I got out of bed.”
“I don’t blame you,” Lauren responded.
Seth stared in amazement.
Lauren’s expression was as serious as his daughter’s. Despite the psychologist’s feelings about fantasy figures, she seemed determined to help him preserve Dani’s innocence.
“Since Santa was here already, can I open my presents now?” Dani’s focus shifted to the stack of brightly wrapped gifts beneath the tree. “Pretty, pretty, pretty please?”
When his daughter turned her attention back to Seth, her blue eyes shining with hope, he wanted to give her the world. Only the thought of his sister stopped him. Anna and Mitch were coming over tomorrow specifically to share Christmas morning with their niece. He could imagine how they’d feel if they arrived and found gifts already opened. “’Fraid not, princess.”
“Please, Daddy, please,” Dani begged.
“Just think, once your aunt Anna gets here tomorrow, you get to open Santa’s gifts and the ones from her and your uncle Mitch,” Lauren said soothingly.
Seth pretended not to notice Dani’s trembling lower lip. Experience had taught him that commenting on her distress would only make things worse. Instead he moved to the sofa and lifted her high over his head, careful not to bang her casts. “Can you see Rudolph from way up there?”
Dani giggled. “He’s not here, silly.”
The childish laughter was music to his ears. As Seth lowered his arms and hugged her close, he was struck by how much of Jan lived in her. Dani had her mom’s button nose, curly hair and crooked smile. And from the moment she was born, she’d had her mother’s total and complete love.
Growing up, Jan had experienced firsthand the disaster that sometimes happens when a parent remarries. During those last weeks of life she’d worried that her daughter would experience that same pain. Assuring her that he wouldn’t remarry until Dani was out of high school had been a small price to pay to ease her fears.
The promise had been freely given and would be kept. The only problem was that Seth hadn’t foreseen the loneliness of a single-parent existence. Hadn’t fully taken into account his physical needs. His friend Wes Danker had once said that if he had an itch, he scratched it. But Wes wasn’t a father. Seth couldn’t just go out and have a brief fling. Not in Sweet River. Not without causing talk.
He remembered how hard such gossip had been on Mitch growing up. Seth would never put Dani in such a position.
“Good night, Dani…again.” Lauren stood and leaned close, brushing her lips across the child’s forehead. “Sweet dreams.”
“You smell good.” Dani studied Lauren. “And you’re very pretty. I bet that’s why Santa kissed you.”
A swath of red cut across Lauren’s cheeks.
Dani squirmed in Seth’s arms so she could look up at him. “You think she’s pretty and smells good, don’t you, Daddy?”
Seth gave a noncommittal smile. He’d noticed the sultry scent that wafted about Lauren, a scent that stirred his senses. And pretty? No living, breathing man could say otherwise. But this was his sister’s friend, his daughter’s potential babysitter. Although kissing her had probably been a mistake, he wasn’t going to compound the error by saying sweet words that might give her the wrong impression.
He’d been under the influence of the Santa suit when he’d lost control. Which meant that as long as he steered clear of red velour and hats with pom-poms, he should be safe.
A wave of irritation washed over Lauren. She’d felt sure that Santa—er, Seth—had noticed her new perfume, but for some reason he refused to admit it. Six months ago she’d have been devastated if Seth had disavowed any attraction to her. But that was when she’d had a silly crush on him, one more suitable to a schoolgirl than a mature, educated woman.
The “crush” period had begun shortly after she’d moved to Sweet River. She’d never been around a rugged cowboy before. And Seth had been so helpful in getting her settled. When he found out she needed single male subjects for her research project, he’d made it a personal goal to recruit the men.
For some reason, and perhaps it had been a reaction to the testosterone and kindness, she’d gone off the deep end, getting all nervous and excited whenever he was around. Then one day, she’d overheard him asking Anna to quit trying to hook him up with her friends. Though his tone had been joking, Lauren had realized how ridiculous she’d been acting. And, even if he had been interested in her, this was a man who could never be more than a friend. He was a rancher who loved his home and his life in Montana. She was an academician with her sights set on tenure at an Ivy League college.
Still, the attraction lingered. Though she wasn’t sure he felt it, there had been electricity in the air whenever they were in the same room. It wasn’t until the steamy dreams started that she finally realized it was a physical attraction drawing her to Seth.
Just like tonight. The Kiss—it had somehow achieved capitalized status in her mind—had been a purely physical response to the chemistry between them. It had nothing to do with the fact that they shared an interest in the writings of Thoreau, or both loved old horror movies. And the kindness he displayed toward his daughter—and to her—hadn’t factored into the equation at all.
“It was lust, pure and simple,” Lauren advised the fireplace, giving her head a decisive nod.
“What was lust?”
Apparently while she wasn’t looking, Seth had returned to the room after putting Dani back to bed. He dropped into the chair next to the sofa where Lauren sat.
“The Kiss,” she said matter-of-factly. “What we experienced was simply a momentary lapse into lust.”
She could tell she’d surprised him by speaking so frankly, but knew he’d understand. After all, he’d been gripped by the same fierce physical need. Lauren had felt it in the urgency of his lips, had seen it in the fire that had burned in his blue eyes.
“That kiss—” Seth raked a hand through his hair before continuing “—was a mistake.”
“I disagree.”
After shooting her an incredulous glance, Seth jerked to his feet and began to pace. “How can you think otherwise? My daughter saw you kissing me—I mean Santa Claus. She’ll probably be traumatized for life.”
Lauren rolled her eyes. She couldn’t help it. She’d never seen anyone make such a big deal out of something that was no big deal. “On the list of things with potential to wound a child’s psyche, seeing your aunt’s friend kissing Santa Claus wouldn’t even make the top ten thousand.”
His lips quirked upward. “Tell me if you think I’m overreacting.”
“You’re overreacting.”
Seth laughed then stopped himself. He glanced in the direction of Dani’s room. “Let’s take this into the kitchen. We can talk more comfortably in there. I’ll make some hot cocoa.”
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