A Mummy For His Baby
Molly Evans
The nurse to heal his family?When Aurora Hunt returns home after an accident, nursing more than physical wounds, she needs local GP and childhood crush Beau Gutterman to help her. Only she hadn’t counted on his offer of a job…or the attraction that reignites between them!Recently widowed Beau is bringing up his baby daughter alone, and Aurora’s arrival is a gift. He’s not ready to move on, but working with Aurora stirs long-buried desires. Could they really heal each other’s hearts—and make a family for baby Chloe?
The nurse to heal his family?
When Aurora Hunt returns home after an accident nursing more than physical wounds, she needs local GP and childhood crush Beau Gutterman to help her. Only she hasn’t counted on his offer of a job...or the attraction that reignites between them!
Recently widowed Beau is bringing up his baby daughter alone, and Aurora’s arrival is a gift. He’s not ready to move on, but working with Aurora stirs long-buried desires. Can they really heal each other’s hearts—and make a family for baby Chloe?
Dear Reader (#ulink_ae6b5204-d645-50f9-988c-ac1399f2b52a),
Thank you very much for reading my latest book! This is a very special one as it is set in my home town. Some changes have been made to suit the story, but the essence of the area is still true.
Readers and friends from here have been asking to have our little home town as a setting for one of my stories and so I finally did it. Some of the characters are named after childhood friends, and my mother even has a character named after her. The town I grew up in is in rural western Pennsylvania, where there are more cows than people, no sidewalks, and it’s miles from the nearest store. As a child, much of my time was spent in the woods, at the lake or catching fireflies on long summer evenings. During the winters I spent many an hour reading books, which fostered my love of a good story and the desire to write my own.
I have many fond memories of growing up in this community, and I wanted to share them with my readers. If you are so moved, drop me an email at mollyevansromance@gmail.com and let me know what you’re up to, what you might like to see in a future story or tell me a story of your own. After all, all good books start with a good story.
Regards,
Molly Evans
A Mommy for His Baby
Molly Evans
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Books by Molly Evans (#ulink_7e869ead-a87c-57c8-8bd2-e9ebd9014422)
Mills & Boon Medical Romance
The Greek Doctor’s Proposal
One Summer in Santa Fe
Children’s Doctor, Shy Nurse
Socialite...or Nurse in a Million?
Her Family for Keeps
Safe in the Surgeon’s Arms
Visit the Author Profile page at
millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk) for more titles.
Praise for Molly Evans (#ulink_7d2533ee-51db-5750-95eb-ea555fd2e5b7)
‘This was a well-written Medical Romance set in New Mexico and it moves in a fast and exciting pace.’
—Goodreads on Her Family for Keeps
Contents
Cover (#u2fda1f33-f60b-5a5e-a372-83af35b01fce)
Back Cover Text (#u2e08a59c-8784-5e61-9a9f-4f39023451dc)
Dear Reader (#ulink_518f7449-3815-5be5-b756-ef70f4952c7c)
Title Page (#u0199ebf9-27f9-5d2b-9fd6-18545912b79a)
Booklist (#ulink_1732a591-816c-53e6-a2cf-ead5982293e1)
Praise (#ulink_c890c15a-e758-52fe-b435-f65d29f4f6ff)
CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_a8093dff-1712-5fa1-8f98-1e5e5e972ef5)
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_a6320010-1322-5544-864c-6bf62453eaa7)
CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_1536c163-e1dd-5a1e-9319-fcea80c7d2dd)
CHAPTER FOUR (#ulink_a744390b-2bcf-5d13-903b-c62976c0ba5d)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
EPILOGUE (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_58091989-7be9-50e8-9e45-ab61f00e78b4)
WHAT HAD POSSESSED Aurora Hunt to return to this little town, she didn’t know. She should have figured out on her own how to survive, how to find a new job, how to create a new life. Somehow. But after being beaten down by life during several unforeseeable events she’d given up, given in, and gone home to her childhood home in western Pennsylvania to lick her wounds. Wounds that scarred her on the inside as well as the outside.
Nothing in this vast wildness settled in the heart of the Appalachian Mountains had changed much in two hundred years. The car models were newer, farmers plowed different fields, and there were more houses built on what had once been pasture. At the heart of it, its people, their culture, hadn’t changed—had refused to change—and that was why she’d left in the first place. In order to grow, things had to change, and she’d wanted to do all of that where there were more opportunities than in this remote village.
But due to a nearly catastrophic car wreck, she was back to square one. In one second, one dramatic turn of the wheel, her life had taken a path she’d never expected and she’d been forced to move in with her mother.
For now.
This situation was only temporary. Until she regained her strength and figured out what she was going to do with her life. A few weeks, tops. Living with her mother on a permanent basis was not an option.
Getting out of her car wasn’t as easy as getting into it. Nearly every movement she made was difficult, but she was grateful for the pain. At least it meant she was still alive, still moving forward. Nothing was what it had used to be. Nothing.
Today she was calling on an old friend to help put her life back together, one aching bone at a time.
The sign for the local medical clinic was a red arrow, pointing to a door. Until a few months ago there had been no medical clinic in Brush Valley. The closest one had been miles away. So it was understandable that this building didn’t quite look like it was a thriving business just yet.
It looked like the building had once belonged to an animal doctor instead of a people doctor. Faded paint indicated dogs to the left, cats to the right. She didn’t know which one to take, but since she was more of a dog person she entered through the left door. Fortunately both doors opened into the lobby of the clinic, which was nearly deserted.
“Good morning, can I help you?” A woman in an advanced stage of pregnancy smiled and offered her a clipboard to sign in.
“Yes. I have an appointment.”
“Okay, great.” She looked at Aurora’s name, then frowned. “Are you related to Sally Hunt?”
“Yes, she’s my mother.”
“Oh, then you must have grown up here!” She held out her hand. “I’m Cathy Carter. I think I went to school just after you.”
“Oh...great to meet you.”
Though Aurora didn’t recall everyone who had gone to school around the time she had, the woman did look vaguely familiar, with her big brown eyes and long brown hair.
“I’m sure you don’t remember me.” She patted her belly. “I looked much different back then.”
That made Aurora laugh. “Didn’t we all? Nice to see you again.”
“Have a seat and he’ll be with you in a few minutes. Just one patient ahead of you.” Cathy nodded to a young woman with a sniffling infant, pacing the small waiting room.
“No problem.”
“Angie, why don’t you bring Zachary back and we’ll have a look at him now?” Laboriously, Cathy rose from the chair and followed the mom and baby into the first exam room.
Aurora felt sorry for the woman, who looked like she was carrying a watermelon beneath her clothing. But although Cathy looked uncomfortable, she also looked happy, and there was something to be said about that.
While Aurora waited she paced the length of the waiting room as sitting caused her too much pain. As she moved back and forth, trying to keep her joints moving, she noticed a bulletin board, with notices for parents, and a table full of retirement magazines. There was a section of toys for little kids, but nothing for anyone else. It was a sparse attempt to keep those who were waiting entertained. These days, with all the electronic devices and people being plugged in, the corner looked lacking, without at least one charger available.
“Aurora?” Cathy called her to the desk. “I can take you back and get you in a patient room, take your vitals, while Beau—I mean Dr. Gutterman—looks at his other patient.”
“Oh, you can call him Beau. I know when we’re behind the desk we all go on a first-name basis.”
“That’s right. You’re a nurse, too, aren’t you?”
“Well, yes.” At least she had been. She didn’t want to say that she wasn’t a nurse any longer. Just because she was in between jobs at the moment. “I’m not working right now—but I guess once a nurse, always a nurse, right?”
“Yes, we’re kind of like the Marines that way.”
Cathy led the way and indicated a nice patient room. After a quick check, she left Aurora waiting for Beau.
“Leave the door open, please. I get a little claustrophobic.”
“Oh, sure. He’ll be right here.” Cathy pressed a hand to her back as a twinge of pain crossed her face.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes. It’s just pushing on my back more and more the last few days.”
“Oh, boy. When are you due?” That low back pain was an ominous sign. Labor could commence at any moment.
“A few more weeks—but I’m feeling like I want to pop right now.” Cathy paused in the doorway and looked like she was about to pass out. “I’ve been having Braxton Hicks for days.”
Feeling that nurse’s instinct kick in, Aurora quickly moved to Cathy’s side and began to assess the woman. Maternity wasn’t her specialty, but she could see the swelling in the woman’s hands and face, the flushed cheeks and the fine sheen of sweat on her face and neck.
“Cathy, I’m not so sure they were false contractions. I think you’d better sit down.”
“I do, too.”
Without releasing her grip on Cathy’s arm, Aurora dragged one of the wheeled chairs in the room close, right behind the pregnant woman’s legs. “Here’s a chair.”
“Oh, boy.” Cathy dropped into the chair, then clutched her abdomen and leaned forward with a groan. “I think I’m going into labor right now.”
She blew out a breath and her face reddened further.
“Oh. Oh, no! My water just broke.”
The amniotic fluid housing the baby and adding cushioning splattered onto the floor. This was going to go hard and fast.
“Let me call for Beau.”
Aurora left the room for a second to dash across the hall and rap on the patient room door.
“Dr. Gutterman—there’s an issue out here!”
Beau jerked the door open with a scowl, then a surprised look raised his brows and a grin lit up his face. “Aurora! What are you—?”
“Cathy’s going into labor. Now.” Trying not to panic, Aurora released the doorknob.
“Oh! I knew she was close, but not that close.” Beau turned back to his patient’s mother. “I’m sorry, Angie. I’ll call in a prescription for Zach as soon as I can. Give me a call if he’s not better in a few days.”
Dispensing with any more pleasantries or greetings, Aurora grabbed his arm and dragged him into the hallway. “I mean right now.”
“Oh! I see.”
Beau headed into the other patient room. He looked at his nurse, struggling against pain in the office chair.
“Oh, boy. I haven’t delivered a baby in a long time.” He offered a quick glance to Aurora, his eyes wide. “Are you sure she’s going to have it right now?”
“Yes,” Aurora said as Cathy screamed again.
“We’d better call 911.”
“Do it—but you may be delivering a baby before they get here. This looks precipitous.”
Though Aurora had done several rotations in Delivery, she hadn’t attended a birth in some time—and this one was looking like it was going to be a doozy.
“No! I don’t want to have it here. I can’t!” Cathy huffed her breath in and out, her doe eyes wide in fear as she looked at Aurora for help. “We have plans.”
“Honey, those plans are about to go up in smoke,” Aurora said. “Where’s your husband?”
“Home.”
“You’d better call him,” Aurora said, and watched as Beau called the emergency services to send an ambulance as soon as possible. Out in the country, nothing was “stat”, or “fast,” as they were miles from everywhere.
“Okay. Okay...” Cathy took a deep breath and leaned back in the chair as the pain obviously eased. She held the phone to her ear. As she looked at Aurora for reassurance another frown crossed her face and she took a deep breath. “Honey? The baby’s coming!”
Aurora took the phone before Cathy crushed it to pieces in her hand. “Your wife is at the clinic and she’s in labor. You’d better get here quickly if you want to see your baby being born.”
Then she hung up. He’d either get there or he wouldn’t. Aurora’s first priority was to see this woman and her baby safe.
“Cathy, we’ve got to get you ready to have this baby.”
“What about the ambulance?” She rose from the chair with Beau and Aurora’s help, leaning heavily on both of them.
“You know as well as I do that it’ll take them half an hour to get here, and you’re going to have this baby long before that.”
Beau ripped off his lab coat and rolled up his sleeves, then scrubbed his hands and arms vigorously at the sink, jumping into the mode necessary to save both his nurse and her baby.
He knew heroes weren’t born. They were made. In situations like this.
“Aurora—good to see you, my friend, but it looks like we’re going to be welcoming a baby in the next few minutes. Are you up to it?”
“Absolutely.” There was nothing, not even the pain in her back, that would interfere with her ability to save a life or two today.
“Great. Let’s get her on the exam table and see what’s going on.”
His jaw was tense, and he didn’t look at Aurora as he scrubbed. When his child had been born his wife had died. That was all she knew. The shock of this unforeseen delivery was obviously stirring that memory. Was he struggling to push it aside? Until now she hadn’t thought of that, and her heart ached for him. Those memories had to be incredibly painful for him, but he was mustering through and doing what was needed in the moment.
“Oh, no. Oh, no.” Cathy bent at the waist and clutched her abdomen, nearly crushing Aurora’s fingers. “Agh!”
“Beau, I don’t think the table is going to work. It’s not designed for this. How about we put some blankets and sterile sheets on the floor and let her squat, like she seems to want to?”
“Okay. Good idea.” Beau grabbed blankets and two sterile packages.
Together she and Beau turned the room into an impromptu delivery suite. This was so over the top of what she’d expected to be doing today, but knowing there were no other options, and that Beau had her back, she had his—she knew they could do it together.
“Do you have a surgical kit around in case we need it?” Chewing her lip for a second, Aurora didn’t want to think about the possibility of having to do an emergency C-section, but planning for the worst and hoping for the best had always worked for her.
“Yes—there.” Beau pointed to another cupboard over the sink. “It’s a general kit. Everything we need should be in it.”
“Breathe, Cathy. Just breathe.” Aurora tried to keep her voice calm and not let the woman know about the anxiety pulsing through her body. “I’m going to reach around you and remove your shoes and leggings.”
“Okay.” Cathy nodded. “It’s easing now.” She took in a few deep breaths, sweat pouring off of her. “Beau, you aren’t going to fire me because I had my baby in your office, are you?”
Beau barked out a laugh and gave her a comforting pat on the shoulder, the light in his eyes not as dark as it had been a few moments ago. “No. Although I do have to say it’s going to go down as one of the most interesting days I’ve ever had.”
“That’s g-o-o-o-o-d!” Another contraction hit, nearly dropping Cathy to her knees.
“Let’s get you down before you fall.” Aurora tucked a hand on Cathy’s waist and eased her to her knees, then sat her back so that Beau could check and see if the baby was crowning.
A door slammed in the front office.
“We have company.”
“Cathy? Cathy! Where are you?” Hurried footsteps got closer to the room.
“We’re in the back, Ron!” Beau yelled toward the door.
“Oh, my God. You are in labor. It wasn’t a joke.” Ron, clearly Cathy’s husband, stood in the doorway, panting from his exertion, his eyes wide as he took in the scene. “I can’t believe it.”
“No jokes today. Wash your hands over there,” Aurora pointed to the sink. “This is going to go fast.”
“She’s definitely crowning,” Beau said after he had a quick look.
“He. It’s a he. I know it.” Cathy began to pant again. “Oh, here he comes! I have to push again—get me up!”
Cathy struggled to a sitting position, then Beau and Ron helped her to her knees. With one hand she held onto her husband, with the other she clutched the edge of the patient table.
“Go with it, Cathy. Wait until you can’t wait any longer and then push.”
“I’m pushing now!” Her statement ended in a scream, a gasp, then another push.
“He’s almost here,” Beau said from his position on the floor nearby. He placed a sterile cloth beneath the baby’s head and supported it. “Pant. I need to check the cord.”
Cathy cast tear-filled eyes at her husband, who looked like he’d been hit by a truck. “Honey? We’re having a baby today!”
“I... I can see that.” He looked down at his wife and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Wasn’t quite what I was expecting, though.”
“Me, either. Oh! Pushing again.”
“Go ahead. One more ought to do it.”
With a great groan, Cathy pushed the vernix-covered baby into Beau’s waiting hands.
“Ron? Can you help me sit her back?” Pain was slicing through Aurora’s back and she couldn’t do it alone.
“Yes.”
Together they eased Cathy into a reclining position, supported by her husband’s chest. Exhausted, Cathy drew in cleansing breaths and closed her eyes.
“We have to do a few things, then you can hold your baby.”
Beau’s voice, choked with emotion, drew her attention. He focused, he did the job, but she could see the pain in his face. Tears pricked Aurora’s eyes at the miracle of birth that had happened so unexpectedly right in front of her, but she shoved them back. Now wasn’t the time to think of the family that she’d wanted and never been able to have. Might never have. Beau was struggling with his own issues and had set them aside. So could she.
“You were right, Cathy. It’s a boy. He’s perfect.”
Beau provided the news, the tension in the room eased, and Aurora was able to take a deep breath, too.
“All parts are there, and exactly where they belong.”
He finished wiping the baby’s face, then Aurora used a suction bulb to clean out his mouth and nose and placed him in his mother’s arms.
“I can’t believe this! We delivered a baby today.” Beau gave a laugh and shook his head, some of the emotion leaving his face and his shoulders relaxing.
“I can’t either,” Cathy said, with tears flowing down her face as she looked at her baby, then leaned into her husband’s neck.
“How did this happen?” Ron asked. “I thought you weren’t due for two more weeks.”
“Well, your son had other plans.”
“I can certainly see that.” He let out a shaky breath and with one trembling finger touched his son’s hand. “I just can’t believe this.” He held out his hand. “I’m shaking. Nothing ever gets to me, but I’m shaking like a leaf.”
“Well, this circumstance is very different than anything else you’ve ever experienced, isn’t it?”
It wasn’t every day that a new dad had to come screeching into the parking lot of his wife’s place of work to see his baby being born.
“You’re right about that.” He blew out a breath and shook his head, letting out a tremulous laugh. “You are definitely right about that.”
The front door opened again, to admit the ambulance crew with their stretcher and equipment.
“Did we miss the party?” A leggy brunette paramedic stuck her head into the room, offering a cheery grin, but her observant dark eyes were looking for anything that was out of place.
“You sure did. It was a doozy, too.” Aurora shook her head, still in shock at the day’s events.
“Aurora...?” the paramedic said, and frowned as if she were trying to figure something out. “Is that really you? I haven’t seen you in years! It’s Missy!”
The woman who had gone to high school with Aurora held her arms out and embraced her.
“Missy—hi! Yeah. It’s me.” She gave a nervous laugh. This was turning into quite a day of friends from her past showing up unexpectedly. “It was a trip I hadn’t really planned. But here I am. It’s great to see you.”
“You, too. Everyone okay?” Missy asked. Those eyes of a trained observer looked around the room again, focusing on the mom and baby.
“I think so—but they’re going to need a trip to the hospital for a full exam.” Beau stripped his gloves off and tossed them on the growing pile of trash.
“You got it. Sirens or no sirens?” Missy gave a smile and a wink.
“No sirens today.” Beau shook his head and gave an amazed laugh. “Wow!”
Cathy reached out to Beau and he stepped forward and clasped her hand. “Beau. I hate to ask this right now, but can I have my maternity leave starting today?”
Everyone laughed at the absurd request.
“Of course you can. It’s not a problem. But I’ll miss you, and I just hope I don’t destroy the place while you’re gone.”
“You won’t. You’ll be fine.”
“Six weeks, right?”
“Yes. I’ll let you know if it needs to be longer.” She cast a loving eye on her husband and her baby as tears filled her eyes. “This has been such an amazing event, I’m not sure I’m going to want to come back.”
“Don’t talk like that.” Beau squeezed her fingers again and shook Ron’s hand. “Just keep me updated and let me know when you’re ready to come back.” He snorted. “If you are.”
“I will. I promise.”
“Ready now?” Missy asked.
“Ready.” Cathy sighed and clutched the baby securely in both arms.
After mother and baby had been packed onto the stretcher and were headed to the hospital Aurora and Beau faced each other, alone for the first time since the event had begun. For a few seconds they stared at each other, unblinking, then Aurora laughed.
The tension-reliever caught her by surprise, and she clasped her hands to her face. “Beau! We delivered a baby!”
“I know—I was here.” A grin split his face and he held his arms wide. “Now that all the excitement is over, let’s have a proper greeting. Come here.”
“I don’t think I can walk after that. My legs are shaking.”
But she had enough strength to close the gap, and Beau met her halfway.
“You held it together during a crisis—the sign of a true professional, right? That’s the most important part.” He closed his long arms around her and squeezed.
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_7ed3d8c3-4bd0-5e37-bcfa-dbf1c142f655)
THE SURGE OF adrenaline and attraction that pulsed through her was completely unexpected in the embrace of an old friend she hadn’t seen in ten years.
Her heart did a little flip at the sight of his long, sun-bleached blond hair that had a tendency to fall into his eyes, and the strength in that jaw she hadn’t remembered being so masculine. Memories of the past, of her secret crush on him, surged forward, and she hesitated a second, trying to breathe through the onslaught of unanticipated emotions suddenly swirling within her.
Wow. She certainly hadn’t expected this reaction.
Though she’d sworn off men after her recent painful break-up, her hormones obviously hadn’t taken the same oath.
Clearing her throat, she reined in those wandering senses of hers that appreciated a fine-looking man. Now wasn’t the time to be ogling anyone—let alone a good friend—no matter how broad those shoulders were.
She returned the embrace, trying not to gasp in pain. The strength of his arms, the pressure of his hug closed in on her, lighting up the injuries in her back like an electrical grid. A groan of discomfort escaped her throat.
“Did I hurt you?” He pulled back, his green eyes assessing, concern evident, and ran his gaze over her face, trying to determine what had happened.
“I’m sorry. I’m in quite a lot of pain right now—which is why I’m here to see you in the first place.”
Back to her original goal: to be pain and medication-free, to get her life back in order. Starting now.
“Pain? You hid it well during this whole thing.” He released her and gave her one gentle pat on the shoulder.
“Probably an adrenaline surge got me through.”
He lifted one hand and indicated that she walk ahead of him into the nearby patient room. “You’re my last patient of the day, so we can take our time—have a look at you and do some catching up.” The dark brows over his green eyes lowered, pinning her with a direct look. “Tell me what’s going on.”
“I’ll give you the short version. Car wreck. Lots of back pain. I want to get off the pain medications.”
The last few months had been beyond brutal. A severe car crash had ripped her life and her relationship apart. Every time she told the story the pain surfaced—the emotional pain she’d gone through as well as the physical pain which was the reason for her visit today.
She handed him a folder with copies of her medical records. “The long version is in here. If you don’t mind, read it later. Right now I just want to see if you can help me with the pain.”
That was short, sweet and to the point. Rehashing her past wasn’t going to help her today. Telling him about the fight with her boyfriend—the reason for her car accident—was going to have to wait. The end of their relationship had come soon after the crash, due to her physical scars, and had destroyed her.
“That doesn’t sound very good.” He harrumphed and placed the manila folder aside and focused on her. “I’ll take a look at that later, for sure. Right now I want to look at you.”
“Thanks, Beau. I’m sorry, but I hate this pain. Every time I move something hurts, and then if I stay still too long I get stiff.”
The pain receded slightly as she walked along beside him, but the memory of it lingered.
“I can’t win.”
Tears pricked her eyes, but she pushed them back. Tears hadn’t been tolerated by her father, so she’d learned to suppress her emotions. Even now she had difficulty sharing them.
“You certainly can win—but winning may look a little different than you thought. You were in a serious crash. Getting through an experience like that takes time.” They entered the patient room. “Did you go through any physical therapy?”
“Yes. Two months of inpatient rehab. They said they did everything they could, but there’s got to be something else.”
Tears filled her eyes—tears she’d thought she’d finished shedding. Desperation circled her heart and squeezed hard. The pressure in her chest of the emotional pain focused there was like talons, digging in and not letting go.
“Though you did go through some rehabilitation, there’s still work to be done. Rehab facilities often focus on one modality, not on being open to other adjunctive aspects of care that can help people just as much as the traditional ways.”
“Really?” That statement perked her up. Somehow, deep in her gut, she knew there had to be alternative treatments, but she just didn’t know what.
“You came to the right place.”
The look in his eyes caused a surge of warmth through her. Hope pulsed in her chest. With the help of this man—her friend—she knew she was going to get through this tough time.
He peered at her with those intense green eyes that perfectly fit his streaked blond hair. He wouldn’t look out of place with a surfboard tucked under one arm and hanging out on the beach. Except there wasn’t a beach for three hundred miles.
“I’m so glad. You don’t know what a relief it is to hear that.”
Struggling with her emotions, she swallowed twice before she could speak again.
“It was awful. Having doctors telling me I’d never walk again, accept it. I think their sympathies ran out at the same time my insurance benefits did.”
She clutched her hands together to stop their trembling. The memory of the accident had faded somewhat, but she still felt the aftereffects.
“I’m trying not to think too much about that part of it. I’m moving forward, working on my physical abilities, but the pain is so intense at times I can hardly move.”
“You are one tough lady, Aurora—but you always have been.”
Beau pressed his hand against hers, this time offering comfort with a simple touch, and she appreciated the gesture.
“I can see you’re in pain. I’m a D.O.—Doctor of Osteopathy—and I perform manipulations of the body in addition to running the straight-up medical practice. That’s probably a little different than you’re used to.”
“Yes, it is, but I’ll consider anything that will get me where I want to be.”
“Where is that? What’s your goal?” The smile he gave lifted one side of his mouth, making him look like he had a secret.
“I want to be pain-free, off the medications, and back to my old self again. There has to be a way other than just taking more pills or different pills.”
What a relief, a joy, a gift it would be to have her old life back. Or at least to have her body back so she could take the rest of her life where she wanted it to go.
Right now she didn’t even know where that was. Working in a hospital again might not ever be possible due to her injury. Her job was on hold, her apartment had been packed up and put in storage... She looked at her friend, hoping he could really give her the help she needed when no one else had been able to.
“There’s always another way—no matter what the issue is.” Beau went on to describe several natural methods of pain control. “Massage would work. Yoga would be helpful, gentle, and it would provide the flexibility you need.”
“Yoga? I never thought of that.” She sighed as relief started to form in her mind. “I have to be back in action as soon as possible or my mother is going to drive me nuts.”
That was something Beau couldn’t do anything about. Her relationship and her problems with her mother were long term and would probably never change.
“How so?” He opened up a computer program, typing as they talked.
“I moved into her house with the intention of staying just a few days, until I can really figure out what I’m going to do. Unfortunately she’s determined to be my nurse, psychotherapist and nutritionist instead of my mother.”
Yeah, it was all or nothing with her. Always had been. Always would be. At her mother’s age, there would be no changing her.
Yet another reason she’d left home at such an early age. While growing up Aurora had felt like she’d been hatched or adopted. She hadn’t felt as if she belonged to her family. They’d had very distinct ideas on what she should be and what she should do with her life that hadn’t matched at all with what she’d wanted. Her needs, her wants, her dreams, had been squashed by her family.
The only solution she’d been able to come to had been to leave. To get away. Forge a life for herself elsewhere. So she’d broken out and left the state to fulfill her career goals at a large university hospital in Virginia.
At least she’d gotten that part right. A husband and family of her own had been more elusive.
Being in charge of her life was something that she would never change. But those ideas of building a life with someone, having a family, had begun to surface—then had crashed into oblivion after the breakup with her boyfriend and the car wreck. Eventually she’d figured out that he wasn’t a long-term kind of guy. Wasn’t in it for the long haul and didn’t have the fortitude to be the man she needed.
The first time he’d seen her scars he’d recoiled. That had been the end for both of them. All the plans she’d made for her future had come crashing down and she’d come home to Brush Valley to lick her wounds, heal, and recover from the accident and the breakup.
Here she was. Home again. Starting over. A new Aurora, reinventing her life.
Beau looked at her for a moment, contemplating. “I’m sure your mother was scared when you were hurt, right? She’s probably not over the shock of it, so you’ll have to cut her a break a while longer.”
That thought had occurred to Aurora, and she dropped her eyes away from the intensity of him, the truth in his words. “I know, and I appreciate her efforts, but if I hang around the house all the time she’ll feel compelled to wait on me. It won’t be good for either of us.”
Beau lifted his hands and looked around, as if suddenly struck by a bold new idea. “Well, as you know, I’m suddenly without a nurse and I need one immediately. I would love to have you help out as much as you can. If you’d be interested in working with me, that is?”
“What? Really?”
She hadn’t thought of working while she was in Brush Valley, let alone working with Beau. She hadn’t let her mind wander in that direction, but now it seemed like a great idea.
Her heart thrummed in anticipation, her throat constricted for a few seconds, and then her eyes widened. “I couldn’t work full-time yet, but I can answer phones, make patient appointments and work the triage line for you.”
The stress would be way less than working in the hospital, so she might be able to swing it. Could this be the answer she needed?
“What triage line?” Beau gave a sideways smile, lifting one corner of his mouth. “I bought the building a year ago...right before Chloe was born. A lot has happened since then, and I haven’t gotten everything in place.” He shook his head, but there was a smile there. “Maybe you can help me get caught up.”
“That would be fantastic! I could start any time. Like tomorrow.”
The idea of working with Beau, helping to get his business going and refilling her bank account were both very appealing.
“This would solve so many of my problems—just like that.” She snapped her fingers.
“For me, too. Agency nurses are hard to find this far out in the country, and I hadn’t even thought of looking for one yet because Cathy still had a couple weeks before she was due.” He snorted and shook his head, his eyes wide in self-deprecation. “Underestimated that one, big-time. But, if you’re serious, can you really start tomorrow?”
“Absolutely.” Joy lifted her mood immeasurably. “My temporary disability payments run out in a week, so working for you will be the perfect answer until I can figure out a more permanent solution.”
“Deal. You’re hired.” He looked away for a second, then back at her. “Do you want to return to Virginia and your job there? Or are you considering something else? You’ve been missed around here. By everyone.”
The look he gave her was pointed, and guilt filled the empty space in her gut. The people around here had once been her friends, her family, and she’d left them behind in order to have a life for herself elsewhere. Now...? Who knew what the future held, but returning here permanently hadn’t crossed her mind.
A sigh tumbled out of her throat. “I just don’t know. With hospital work there’s always a lot of lifting and pulling and tugging of patients or beds or equipment.” Her shoulders drooped as saying the words aloud made them more real. “I couldn’t physically do the job right now, which is really disappointing.”
“All the years you spent training and gaining experience feel like they’re going down the drain?”
Somehow, he’d hit it right on the head.
“Yes. Maybe it’s not true, but at this moment it sure feels like it.”
Sadness, grief for her loss, overwhelmed her for a second. She’d left this small town to create a life for herself, and now that life had been changed dramatically the first thing she’d done was head home—back to Brush Valley, where she knew she could recover. Could she leave again so quickly? It felt like a betrayal to think of leaving again and it made her very uncomfortable.
“So, be objective for a few minutes. What would you tell a patient if they were in your position?”
“I don’t want to play this game, Beau.” Being vulnerable was hard for her. Being vulnerable in front of Beau was even worse.
“That’s because you know I’m right. What I’m trying to do is get you to think outside of your pain. Come on—humor me. What would you tell a patient? If it helps, consider this a job interview question.”
Huffing out a sigh, Aurora closed her eyes for a moment, thinking, then opened them and looked at Beau. “I would tell a patient that this is a moment in time, and not to make any big decisions while still recovering, to relax about it.”
“Perfect!” He patted her on the knee. “Now you know exactly what I was going to advise you.”
He twitched his brows once at her and a smile found its way to her lips.
“Fine. You’re right. I’ll hold off on making any big decisions. At least for now. I’ll work with you and we’ll see how it goes, how my back does, and what other opportunities arise for my future—what I want to do, where I want to live.”
Saying it like that, all in a rush, sounded reasonable, but it was so hard to accept. Time marched on while she stood still. At least it seemed that way.
Maybe all she needed was a little more time, and Beau was right about that. Being driven, focusing on accomplishing her goals in life, had gotten her places. Having her goals and her life stalled due to injury was not the way she wanted to live. Doing nothing was incredibly frustrating.
“Good idea. Speaking of living situations, you mentioned your mom...? Think you’ll be okay there?”
Having lived alone for years, she valued her private space. “Although I love my mom, I can’t stay with her for long. Do you know of anyone with a room for rent? It doesn’t have to be much.”
“As a matter of fact there’s a small apartment upstairs you can use for free. It’s not fancy, but it would give you some privacy, and it’s a short commute down the stairs to work.”
He winked and some of the tension in her eased.
“I was going to rent it out eventually. For now, consider it one of the perks of working for me.”
“Oh, Beau. That would be fantastic.” Could this day get any better? “I would love that. And as my finances improve, I can pay some rent.”
This was the first time in ages she’d felt so excited about anything. Allowing hope to find a place in her heart had been an exercise in disappointment over the last months. Maybe now, maybe here, the time had come to take it out for a stroll.
“You’ll get turned around in no time. For now, I’m not going to worry about it. It doesn’t cost me anything for you to live there.” He waved away her protest. “What are friends for, anyway?”
“I can’t thank you enough. Just know that as soon as I can I’ll pay you back. I don’t want to owe you any more than I have to.”
“You’re a qualified pediatrics nurse, if I remember correctly—right?”
“Yes, but currently a semi-disabled one.”
That fact irritated her. Depending on others for jobs and apartments wasn’t the way she wanted to live her life. She’d made her own way in life since she’d graduated college.
“Semi-disabled temporarily.” He held up her file, then set it aside. “What’s contained in that file isn’t all of who you are. Remember, it’s a bump in the road and we’ll get you over it—or around it—one way or another. For now consider the apartment as part of your pay.” He picked up the file again and read a few lines. “According to your doctors you’ve made excellent progress.”
A snort of derision escaped her throat. “According to them, but it’s not enough for me. It won’t be until I get my life back.”
A grin split his face, lighting up his eyes and adding a sparkle to them she’d hadn’t yet seen today.
“Knowing you, you won’t be satisfied until you’re swinging from the rafters in your dad’s barn.”
That made her laugh—a genuine feeling that surfaced from deep within her, eliciting memories that hadn’t seen the light of day for years. The pleasure bubbled up from her chest and burst out of her. This expression of joy was unfamiliar. The last few months had been brutal. A good laugh was definitely called for today.
She wiped her eyes with the heels of her hands and took in a tremulous breath. “I guess you’re right. Those were good times, weren’t they?”
“They sure were.”
A haunted look flashed through his eyes. She’d seen fatigue in the lines of his face, how he rubbed his eyes when he thought no one was looking, and the look of pain when he’d handed the newborn baby to Cathy. Although she knew that his wife had died, she didn’t know all of the circumstances.
“You said the office is new, but I guess I didn’t realize how new your practice really is.”
Changing the topic away from things that were too personal for both of them seemed like a good idea. Now that she’d be working with him there would be plenty of time to get reacquainted. Right now she needed pain relief.
“After working for someone else in a large city clinic I figured out pretty quickly that it wasn’t for me. So I broke out on my own, bought the building and got it ready for business.” He winked and gave that charming grin of his. “I like to run the ship, not swab the decks. At this point in my life building my own business the way I want it seems like the way to go.”
The tension in the air that had been rising between them evaporated. They were back to an easy back and forth banter which eased her mind as well as some of the knots in her back.
“That doesn’t surprise me.” She looked around. “This seems more like you than working at a large clinic. I think you’re better suited to a rural setting, where you know your patients, than having huge numbers of patients run through your office every day.” She shrugged. “Not you. At least in my opinion.”
“Yes, you’re exactly right. I’m just getting going here, but I have high expectations. People have told me for years that Brush Valley needs a health clinic, so now we have one.”
Though he was saying the right words, there didn’t seem to be much passion in him—for them or for his new business venture.
“It’s a good thing. Maybe it will inspire more people to start businesses, too.”
“Then why do you look like hell?”
“That’s one thing I love about you, Aurora—you shoot straight and tell it like it is.” He gave a chuckle, but the laughter didn’t extend all the way to his eyes. “I appreciate it that you didn’t tell me I look worse than that.”
“You look like you haven’t slept in a year.” There was something going on with him—more than just running a new business.
“You’re almost right.”
He shoved a hand through his hair and his eyes darkened for a moment. The fun-loving Beau she’d known had had some hard times recently.
“Seriously?” She blinked, startled by the answer. “That’s a long time to go without a good night’s sleep.”
He nodded, his face grim. “It’s been a rough year.” He rubbed a hand over his face.
“Is it something you want to talk about?” She leaned forward, then cringed when her back tightened at the movement.
“You know that I have a child? A daughter... Chloe.”
“Oh, I see. If she doesn’t sleep, you don’t either?” She smiled. That explained a lot. In her pediatrics experience she’d heard that story many times from parents.
“Yes, well... Julie...my wife...died right after Chloe was born, so it’s always been just the two of us.” He dropped his gaze and cleared his throat, then picked up Aurora’s file from the desk again.
“Beau, I’m so sorry. Do you have someone to help you?”
Surely he wasn’t trying to cope with everything all by himself. Everyone needed help—especially in a situation like this. Grief for him cramped her heart. He had to be in such pain. No wonder he wasn’t sleeping.
Instead of answering her question, he looked away and cleared his throat. “How about for now we focus on you? We can talk about the disaster of my personal life another time.”
“Okay. Sure.” Now she reached out and placed her hand over his. As she did so the simple movement stirred a hot, burning sensation from her wrist to her hip. “Oh! Ow.” She cringed, unable to hide the grimace on her face.
“You really do need some body work done, don’t you?”
“Body work?” Her eyes went wide, then she frowned. “What does that mean?”
“Manipulation and massage.”
“Then let’s get to it.”
“Let’s get you into the treatment room and I’ll see what I can do.”
CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_49af380e-2556-5afd-8b72-82ffb225e86d)
WHEN AURORA LEFT the clinic an hour later she was walking straight for the first time in months and she could take a deep breath of the fresh Pennsylvania air without pain. Awesome. All because of Beau.
For the first time since the crash she had hope. Beau had given that back to her.
After making the drive to her mother’s house, Aurora stepped through the door to the fragrance of her mother’s cooking. Instantly she was transported back to when her mother had given her cooking lessons as a child, when she’d had to stand up on a stool to reach the counter and the stove. Those were lessons she’d hated at the time, but she used them almost every day now. Go figure.
“Mom? Where are you?”
“In the kitchen.”
Walking through the living room to the kitchen, Aurora began to feel the stiffness that Beau had warned her about. She wanted to lean back on an ice pack, the way he’d recommended, and read on the couch for a while. Reading had saved her life as a kid, during the long Pennsylvania winters, and she hadn’t done nearly enough of it in the last few years. Today seemed like a good time to catch up a little, but first there was the task of telling her mother she was moving out.
“What are you making? It smells great.” Steam wafted up from every pot on the stove and a blast of heat caught her in the face.
“Making beef stew for dinner. It’s better if it simmers all day.” Sally looked at her daughter. “You didn’t forget that, did you?”
“No, I remember.” Her stomach growled in response to the fragrance. “Guess I need to eat something now, though.”
Opening a drawer, Aurora pulled a zipper bag out of the box that her mother always kept there. She moved to the refrigerator and filled the bag with ice cubes.
“How was your appointment with the doctor? Does he think he can get you straightened out?”
“Yes. Beau thinks he can get me fixed up and off the pain medications.” Now she was going to try ice on the hip he’d adjusted and go with an anti-inflammatory instead of the narcotic-based medicine.
“Beau? Do you mean Dr. Gutterman?” Her mother tossed a small glare over her shoulder and stirred some mysterious spice concoction into the brew. “You shouldn’t call him by his first name. It’s disrespectful.”
“I went to school with Beau. I’ve known him a long time. I can’t call him Dr. Gutterman now. That would be weird.”
She tried it out inside her head and it sounded like the name of some old doctor, ready to retire. So not the Beau she knew, who was young and vibrant and sexy as hell.
“Well, I’m going to call him Dr. Gutterman. It’s good to have a hometown boy bringing some business to the area. We need more medical people around here.” Sally inspected Aurora through fogged-up glasses and gave her a pointed stare.
Perfect introduction.
“That’s good, because he offered me a job.” “Offered” was a loose interpretation of their mutual arrangement. Desperately needed was more like it.
“What?” The expression on her mother’s face looked as if she said she’d just gotten a job at an exotic dance club, not a respectable healthcare business. “You can’t be working yet! You’re still recovering.”
“Mom, it’s been over two months since the accident. When I got out of the rehab facility we agreed I would come here temporarily. I can’t sit around doing nothing or I’ll go mad.” She patted her mother on the shoulder. “It’ll be all right. It’s part-time, and I’m not going to do more than I can handle. That was my agreement with Beau.”
That assurance would comfort her mother and buy her some time. Her mother was a controller, and wanted things done her way, which was part of the reason Aurora had left town at such an early age.
“You won’t believe this, but his nurse went into labor just after I got there and we delivered the baby together.”
“You’re kidding!” That got her mother’s attention, and she gaped at Aurora. “Everyone’s okay?”
“Yes—but that’s why he needs a nurse right now, and I start tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? So soon?”
Concern showed in her mother’s eyes, and though she hated to disappoint her Aurora knew she had to live her life—not the one her mother had planned for her. Although her mother loved having her around, she had no objective boundaries. It was all or nothing. And Aurora wasn’t about to be turned into an invalid lying on the couch while her mother spoon-fed broth into her mouth.
“Yes. Tomorrow. Which brings me to another point. Beau has a small apartment over the office that I’m going to move into.”
There—she’d said it. Short. Sweet. Firm. No question about it.
“What? You just got here.” This time her mother faced her fully, major disappointment on her face. “I had so many plans for us.”
“I know you did. But right now what I need is to work, get my career back, and not let the accident take away any more of my life than it already has.” She looked into her mother’s concerned eyes. “We can still do some of those things you have planned, but I have to work. It’s what I’m good at, and I need that right now.”
Boundaries. It was all about boundaries with her mother.
At that her mother pressed her lips together for a moment as she surveyed her daughter. “You always were too independent.”
“For me, there is no such thing, Mom. I’m as independent as I need to be.” She shrugged, but remembered Beau’s words about taking it easy on her mother. “Everything will be fine. Don’t worry.”
“I suppose you’re going to move tonight, aren’t you?”
Pulling away from Aurora, Sally stirred her stew and pouted. Yep, nothing had changed.
“It’s best if I move in right away. Most of my things are still in the car or on the porch, so it will be easier this way.”
“Easier for whom?” her mother asked, but didn’t really require an answer.
“Mom, I’m only going down the road a few miles. We’ll still have plenty of time to do things together. I really need to work. You know that.”
“I guess.” She sniffed. “If you can find time to spend with your poor old mother.”
Guilt trip. There was always the guilt trip.
“I’ll make time—I promise. But first I have to get settled into the apartment and the job. It’s not like I’m going back to Virginia right away.”
She might never be able to go back to her old life. Perhaps there really wasn’t a life to go back to there, and she just hadn’t realized it.
The car crash seemed to have been a defining moment in her life.
There had been life before the crash. There would be life after the crash. Each of those times was vastly different and she didn’t know which way to go. Forward or backward. Or was any direction still forward?
“Well, get your stuff organized and I’ll put some of this stew into a container—and some of the bread I made. You can have some home cooking in your new place.”
Though her mother didn’t like the idea, she appeared to be accepting it. Maybe she was listening to Aurora after all.
“I’d like that. Thank you.” Having a bit of home in a new apartment would be a great way to settle in.
“Okay, but I’m going to hold you to it,” her mother said, and pointed at her with the wooden spoon, giving a mock glare. “I’m going to find out when the Amish festival is in Smicksburg and we’re going.”
“That sounds like a great time. I haven’t been there in years.”
Funny... She’d used to hate driving around to different festivals and displays, museums and other events that had interested her mother, but now she was actually looking forward to it. Late summer and early fall was the time of year for celebrations, harvest gatherings and other festivals in Pennsylvania. There was always something new and interesting to be seen.
But all of it would have to wait until she’d turned her life around.
* * *
Two hours later a sharp pain knifed its way through Aurora’s hips, but she mustered on and dragged the last of her belongings into the small apartment over the medical clinic.
Beau had arrived with the keys earlier, but had had to rush off to an out-of-hours emergency call. Now, as he returned, he tutted at her.
“Hey, you aren’t supposed to be lifting this kind of stuff.” Beau took the last box from her, carried it up the stairs and backed through the door. “You’ll undo all the adjustments I just did on you.”
“I know. I know. I’m sorry.” She had to admit that her back was screaming with pain, but she just had to get this done, then she could rest. And ice. Ice was a magical treatment she was just beginning to discover. Thanks to Beau.
“You say that, but you’re doing it anyway, right?”
Beau gave her that sideways smile of his. Somehow it chastised and encouraged at the same time.
“You are correct about that. Nurses are terrible patients.” She pointed to the plaid couch up against one wall and Beau sat the box on it. “While I had some momentum going I wanted to push through, then it’ll be over with, and I can relax.”
Without another word Beau placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. His hands were warm, his touch gentle. Resisting him was impossible and all those unrequited feelings of long ago surfaced as her eyes met his.
What she wouldn’t have given to have been in this position ten years ago. Before they’d both been too hurt by life and love. But that was then and this was now. There was no way for them to go back to the innocence they’d once had as kids. Now she was too broken even to try. At least at the moment she felt that way.
“Promise me one thing,” he said.
“Okay. What’s that?” A deep breath filled her lungs, helped her push away the longings he’d momentarily stirred in her.
“That you’ll call me for any heavy stuff you need either to be carried or moved.”
“I’ll try. I promise.” With a nod, she pulled back from him, curiously aroused by his touch and the gentle tones of his voice. Having someone offering to do something nice for her was almost foreign.
Looking back, she could see that her last relationship had been doomed from the get-go, and now she wasn’t certain what had really attracted her to the man in the first place. Chad had been a controller, and demanding—which was not the kind of man she wanted in her life. Too much like her father.
But maybe that was what had appealed to her before she’d realized it. Drawn to the familiar rather than someone new, someone different. Seeing Beau in such contrast made her wonder about her mental state, having put up with that relationship for so long.
“I’m going to hold you to that. Your injuries are overcomeable, but you do need to be babied for a while after every manipulation.”
“I see.”
She huffed out a breath and changed the subject to one more comfortable to her.
“Speaking of babies—how’s Cathy and her baby? Have you talked to her since she got to the hospital?”
“Yes. I just spoke to her a few minutes ago and they’re doing great.”
The grin that split Beau’s face was contagious.
“That’s awesome. I still can’t believe that happened right in front of us.”
“I know—but better here than at home alone or something.” Beau opened a box and started to unpack it, then stopped. “Oh, sorry. Do you want me to help you?”
“Oh, sure. That’s just bedding. You can toss it on the bed. I can make it later.”
“No, that’s another back-bending chore. I’ll help you with it.”
Beau shook out the sheets and together they made up the queen-sized bed that took up the majority of the space in the efficiency apartment.
“Did you tell your mom you were moving out?”
“Yes.” Aurora nodded. “It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, but still uncomfortable. I hate confrontation of any sort.”
“Yes, but it’s necessary sometimes.”
“Not according to my mother. If I just went along with all the things she’s planned for my life, everything would be just fine.” Aurora tossed up one hand for emphasis.
“Except you’d be unhappy.”
“Yeah. She kind of forgot about that part.”
There was real sympathy in his words, in his expression, and she knew he understood. Had always understood her, even when they were kids.
“She had visions of us being gal pals, or roommates or something.”
“Oh. That’s kinda weird.” Beau’s brows crinkled.
Aurora tucked the corner of a sheet in. “Since my dad died last year she’s been left without a mission in life, I think.”
“How so?”
“Well, she’s been a caretaker all her life, and without Dad needing her all the time she doesn’t have enough to keep her occupied.”
“Sounds like she needs a project.”
Aurora barked out a laugh and it felt good. For the first time in a long time, it felt good. “She does—as long as it isn’t me.”
The bed was finished in short order, and Aurora’s stomach rumbled.
“It’s getting to be that time, isn’t it?” Beau patted his stomach. “I could eat something myself.”
“That’s good, because my mom sent along a huge jar of beef stew she made today.” Aurora pointed to the jar on the counter. “And homemade bread. If you’d like some I’ll be happy to share.”
“Awesome. I never turn down free food. Especially homemade.” He pulled his phone from his pocket. “Let me check on Chloe first. She’s still at the sitter’s.” After a short conversation, he nodded. “Good to go.”
“I’d love to meet her some time.”
“Oh, I’m sure you will. I have her in the office sometimes.”
“Great. Babies are such fun.”
“Says someone who hasn’t had a child yet.”
“Are you telling me I have a skewed perspective?” With a grin, she parked her hands on her hips.
“Yes.”
The grin was returned, and she could see some of the pain of this morning had eased. This banter was fun.
“I dare you to make that statement again after you’ve been up three nights straight with a teething infant.”
“Oh, no, thanks. Not accepting that challenge.”
In minutes they had poured the still steaming stew into bowls, buttered bread, and sliced some cheese to go with it.
“Sorry, I don’t have any wine. It doesn’t go with my medications.”
“Oh, that’s okay. I’m not much of a drinker.”
He scooped some of the stew into his mouth and closed his eyes.
“Oh, my God, that’s good. She could open her own restaurant and just serve this. She’d make a fortune.” His brows shot up. “Hey, maybe you could talk her into opening her own diner or something? Then she’d be too busy to run your life.”
“I like the way you think.” Aurora laughed again and relaxed a little more.
Watching him enjoy the stew—a simple meal in her new place—stirred good feelings.
Forbidden feelings—especially after that comment about having her own baby. That had been her lifelong dream, to have a family, but it wasn’t meant to be apparently.
Recalling how Beau’s wife had tragically died after giving birth reminded her that having a family wasn’t without risk. And as she sat there in the small apartment, across from Beau, she wondered if the risks were worth it.
There was only one way to find out.
CHAPTER FOUR (#ulink_1f589c68-d528-5617-8aa3-ca686edffdcf)
MAYBE COMING HOME hadn’t been such a bad idea after all. Though returning to her childhood home had been a temporary plan, she liked how it felt right now. Cathy would be off for at least six weeks, so she had that long to think about things and maybe come up with another plan.
“What are you thinking about?” Beau set his spoon down and placed his hand over hers on the table. “You look so intense, so sad.”
“I was just thinking how far we’ve come since high school.”
She squeezed his hand and enjoyed the warmth of it in hers. Of course they’d touched. Many times. But now, in the closeness of the little apartment, things seemed different somehow. More grown up. More intimate than she’d imagined.
“You’re right.” He nodded and kept hold of her hand. “We’ve come a long way for sure. Sometimes I look back at who I was then and can’t believe I was such a self-centered, immature jerk.”
“Oh, Beau!” She leaned back in her chair with a laugh. “You were not.” No way. At least not the way she remembered it.
“Seriously?” Doubt shone in his eyes. “You don’t know half the things I did back then. I thought I was such hot stuff, that I could have any girl I wanted. Cheerleaders. Homecoming queens. Any girl I set my eyes on.” He shook his head and drew his mouth to the side. “I was an idiot. All ego. No brains. Not like you.”
“I certainly wasn’t all brains—and you weren’t all ego.” Amusement shot through her. “Maybe a little. If you were so bad I could never have been your friend, you know.” She lifted one shoulder.
“Really?” Beau’s brows shot upward. “How do you figure that, Miss Academic Student of the Year?”
“Oh, that was a silly thing. A fluke, really. I was so shy and introverted in high school I could barely talk to guys, let alone be friends with one.” A light pink colored her neck. “Or ever think of going out with a jock.”
She leaned closer, conspiratorially.
“I did have a secret crush on you, though. You were totally into the hot babes, and never looked at me like that, so I got over it.” Or so she’d thought. Until now. Until she’d looked into those green eyes again.
“You... What? Now that’s a surprise.” He crossed his arms over his chest and a curious expression showed on his face. His brows came together and an intensity showed in his eyes, as if she’d just told him some deep, dark secret. “You thought I was out of reach, yet you picked me to be friends with? That’s odd.”
“No, actually...” she said with a laugh, and pointed at him with her spoon. “You picked me. Don’t you remember?”
“No. Refresh my memory.”
“In Mrs. Dixon’s typing class.” A memory and a laugh bubbled up inside her as she recalled him trying to squeeze his bulk behind the small desk the computers had been set on.
“No way. I don’t remember that. All I remember is struggling to get my fingers on the keyboard and not totally screw things up.”
“Yes—you said if I helped you with typing you’d get me into all the football games the rest of the season for free.”
“I did?”
Surprise showed clearly on his face. He didn’t remember.
That tidbit disappointed her. He obviously hadn’t had the same sort of feelings for her that she’d had for him. This reinforced that she’d been right to keep her feelings to herself. Pining after him would only have brought her heartache.
“Yes, you did.”
“I don’t remember it that way at all.”
“No? Well, that’s exactly how it was.”
That particular memory was clearly etched in her mind. How embarrassed she’d been when he’d talked to her—then how thrilled she’d been that he’d talked to her! All for naught, as it turned out.
“Nothing is exactly anything—let alone memories so old. I think you’re yanking my chain.” He narrowed his eyes playfully at her, trying to discern the truth.
“You’re right, Beau. Nothing is ever exact or perfect, the way we thought it would be when we were kids.”
She had to admit that. Nothing in her life had been that way. Not ever. And it was one of the reasons she’d left town so soon after nursing school. She’d wanted—needed—something in her life to be perfect, and she’d known she’d never get it here. At the time, that was how her mind had worked. Now she wasn’t so sure there was a perfect anything out there.
At the time she’d thought her happiness had lain out there. Somewhere. Somewhere else. Somewhere new, different, exotic. Someplace where she knew she’d fit in. Where no one knew her past or had preconceived notions of what she should be. No one would try to make her fit into a mold they’d developed for her. Where she could live and be herself, with no one to please except herself.
Beau leaned back and patted his abdomen again. “Nothing’s perfect except for this stew. I’d be tempted to stay with your mother just for her cooking.”
With his words the tension in her eased and she relaxed.
“I know. She is a great cook, but it doesn’t come without strings.”
Yet another reason she’d had to leave her mother’s home as soon as she could. But despite all her faults Aurora loved her mother, and had to accept her as she was—not continue to wish she were different. Another part of her childhood that she had to let go of.
“That’s too bad, ’cause she’s a really great cook.”
One corner of Aurora’s mouth lifted. “And then there’s her bread.” Another thing Aurora had to admit was a huge bonus of hanging out with her mother. She loved to bake and was excellent at it. “She tried to teach me, but I only made lead bread so I gave up.”
“It’s amazing.”
“Incredible.”
“Which is unfortunate.”
“Why?” A confused frown crossed Aurora’s face.
“Well, if she was a good cook and a bad baker, then I could justify a strike against her. If she was bad at both, that would be two strikes.”
“I see. So since she’s good at both, then it’s two points in her favor?”
* * *
Fortunately, Beau hadn’t lost his sense of humor. It had kept him from going crazy with grief after his wife’s death. It made him see things a little differently, but he liked it that way. It had helped him turn himself around after the worst time in his life. It had helped him begin to view life in a different way.
“You got it. You catch on quick.”
He winked, and a little squiggle of pleasure shot through him as she held his gaze just a little bit longer. That was interesting. She’d had a crush on him and he’d never noticed? He was an idiot. At least he had been back then. Now he could appreciate what a great woman Aurora had become.
“You have a strange scoring system.” She laughed and shook her head.
The outer corners of her eyes crinkled up and the laugh came from her chest, not her throat, and was a genuine expression. That made him feel good. That he’d made her laugh when the past few months had been filled with anything but joy for either of them.
“Well, it works for me. I have to say that.”
After they’d finished, he took the dishes to the sink. Aurora rose with obvious stiffness in her back.
“Just put them in the sink. I’ll deal with them later.”
Beau could hear the fatigue in her voice, and her eyes were dark with pain. “Come here.”
She approached, and he turned her to face away from him, her back against his chest.
“What? What are you doing?”
“Just relax. I’m going to do another gentle treatment on you. A fine tuning.”
“Er...now?” Surprise lifted her voice into a question.
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