The Cowboy's Christmas Family
DONNA ALWARD
HIS CHRISTMAS PRESENTWidow Madison Wallace is determined to make this Christmas extra special for her twin boys, even if money is tight. The part-time job at Cole Hudson’s ranch seems like the perfect solution, and kind, sexy Cole only makes it better. But Maddy isn’t ready to trust a man with her heart again…Cole only intended to help Maddy out with the holidays. But the moment she and her boys arrive at his ranch, they capture his heart completely. Convincing Maddy to give him a chance won’t be nearly as easy…but Cole knows he’s found his family for life.
“Cole, why me?” Maddy sighed. “I’ve got baggage. A lot of it. I’m prickly.”
Cole chuckled and she felt the vibration of the sound through his chest and into her back. “You’re not the only one with baggage,” he admitted. Before she could ask what he meant, he continued on. “Listen, what happened to you just made you cautious. You’re not prickly. You’re scared. I would be, too.”
They let the thought sit for a few minutes, and then Cole spoke again. “I don’t know, Maddy. I got thinking about how you’re young and pretty and so damned strong and then … and then I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
She looked up into his face. “The last thing I was looking for was a date. Maybe it just snuck up on both of us.”
She licked her lips, which suddenly felt dry, and saw his gaze drop to where her tongue had wet the surface. Desire surged through her, terrifying by its very presence and exhilarating at the same time.
“It snuck up on me for sure,” he admitted quietly, smiling. “You snuck up on me.”
The Cowboy’s
Christmas Family
Donna Alward
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
DONNA ALWARD is a busy wife and mother of three (two daughters and the family dog) and she believes hers is the best job in the world: a combination of stay-at-home mum and romance novelist. An avid reader since childhood, Donna has always made up her own stories. She completed her arts degree in English literature in 1994, but it wasn’t until 2001 that she penned her first full-length novel and found herself hooked on writing romance. In 2006, she sold her first manuscript, and now writes warm, emotional stories for Mills & Boon.
In her new home office in Nova Scotia, Donna loves being back on the east coast of Canada after nearly twelve years in Alberta, where her career began, writing about cowboys and the West. Donna’s debut romance, Hired by the Cowboy, was awarded a Booksellers’ Best Award in 2008 for Best Traditional Romance.
With the Atlantic Ocean only minutes from her doorstep, Donna has found a fresh take on life and promises even more great romances in the near future!
Donna loves to hear from readers. You can contact her through her website, www.donnaalward.com (http://www.donnaalward.com), or follow @DonnaAlward (http://www.twitter.com/DonnaAlward) on Twitter.
To my family—the reason for everything.
Contents
Cover (#ue51938cb-cf86-5bae-91f3-76bac431460e)
Introduction (#ued08adfd-2631-5b42-8b08-448bdc8399c2)
Title Page (#u142d1570-5b48-5111-b362-e28b9db27cb6)
About the Author (#ub19fdacd-137e-53fc-876c-c111c38ef9ad)
Dedication (#u4f61eba0-19e1-5c3e-a744-ce7607a5115c)
Chapter One (#u15ba4730-1dbf-5f93-9988-c9888825bbe8)
Chapter Two (#ub0b2e6a3-066d-5938-924a-85d6dfe705a8)
Chapter Three (#u6797eb89-c551-543e-b6c8-7cd13f14f611)
Chapter Four (#u08314374-b19b-5b1a-a3e8-45fbdc8b80cf)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#ulink_9f602ba2-2ab1-531c-9bde-3022ddf1cf4c)
There were days when Madison Wallace felt like a single-mom Cinderella.
She blew at a few strands of hair that had escaped her messy ponytail, then tucked them behind her ears for at least the tenth time in the past half hour and checked her watch yet again.
Six twenty. The library closed at eight. The meeting was due to start in ten minutes and she didn’t even have the coffeepot going yet. The boys were in a playpen in one of the smaller meeting rooms, and her brain was on the verge of shutdown, with her body not far behind.
Whoever came up with the idea of Snowflake Days needed their head examined.
Oh, right. That would be her.
Of course, she’d put forth that proposal last winter, and the mayor and council had loved the idea. She’d thought she’d have tons of time to help with the planning committee. The babies would be a little older, she’d be back at work, Gavin would be home at night to lend a hand, and life would be back to normal.
And then everything had changed.
She couldn’t think about that now. She didn’t have time. And playing the what-if game was a waste of energy, anyway.
The meeting room where the twins were was quiet except for the odd babble, so she rushed around as committee members started arriving and gathered in the foyer, chatting. There were twelve altogether, a blend of male and female, young and old, business owners and retirees and anything in between. She put tablets of paper at each spot at the conference table as well as pens that said Gibson Public Library on them. A separate table held coffee, now dripping merrily into the pot, ice water, and an array of muffins and breads, which she’d baked just this morning while the boys were napping rather than taking from the library’s petty cash, which was always pretty tight.
“Maddy, this is just lovely, dear.” Pauline Rowe stopped and patted her arm. “Thank you for setting it up. Now that Thanksgiving is over, we’re really going to get into the nitty-gritty of the planning. Lots of coffee required.”
Maddy smiled at Pauline, who owned the town’s only dry cleaning and alterations shop. “Thanks, Pauline. Let me know if you need anything else, okay?”
An ear-splitting scream punctuated the relative quiet and Maddy winced. “Sorry. I’ll be right back.”
She rushed to the meeting room and found Liam and Lucas in the playpen. Liam was hanging on to the edge for dear life and crying, while Lucas whimpered softly in the corner, big crocodile tears on his cheeks.
Her boys. Best friends one moment, fighting like cats the next, and at a year old, with no verbal skills to tell her what was wrong. She hadn’t been prepared for motherhood, let alone times two. And going it alone? Since Gavin died, she’d really had to fight against despair at times. Like tonight, when she was bone weary.
“Hey, sweetie. Mama’s here.” She picked up Liam and settled him on her arm. He burrowed into her neck and stuck his thumb in his mouth, his wet face sticking to her skin. Her heart melted just a little bit. He was such a snuggle bug.
“You had to bring the twins?” Pauline asked gently. Without missing a beat, she went to the playpen and lifted out Lucas, who stared at her with owlish blue eyes and sucked in his lower lip as he fought against crying.
“Mom’s down with the stomach flu as of this morning. It was...short notice to find a replacement.”
Short notice was her excuse. The truth was, she didn’t have the money to pay someone for child care today. It had come down to food and lights as far as priorities went. Filled tummies and running water were pretty important, and the holidays were coming.
She gave Liam a bounce and smiled, and he placed a chubby, if damp, hand on her cheek. Despite the troubles and challenges, she wouldn’t trade her babies for anything. Things would work out the way they were supposed to. When times got rough, she found it difficult to remember that, but it was what she truly believed. Something good was around the corner for her. It was going to be okay. How could it not be?
“Hello, is the meeting in here?”
Maddy looked up and went dumb for a few seconds.
Cole Hudson, all six feet of him, stood in the doorway. He’d taken off his hat and held it in his hand...of course he had, because he had impeccable manners. His dark hair was cut short, just long enough for his fingers to leave trails as he ran his hand through it, in what Maddy assumed was a gesture of tidying it but really gave it a mussed look. And blue eyes. Blue with little crinkles at the corners. Like the Texas bluebells she’d seen once on a trip she’d taken with her parents.
A girl had to be blind not to get a little tongue-tied around Cole Hudson.
“Sorry,” she said as she found her wits again. “The meeting’s across the hall.”
In her rush to get to the boys, the door to the meeting room had closed and locked, so she dug in her jeans pocket for the keys on one of those stretchy wrist things all the librarians used. She fumbled and Cole reached around, took the key from her hand and put it in the lock. He was standing awfully close to her, and she suddenly found it difficult to take a full breath.
“Allow me. You have your hands full,” he said kindly, swinging open the door.
She adjusted Liam on her shoulder. “Let me get a door stopper so you don’t get locked out again,” she said, looking around, feeling unusually flustered. Pauline still held Lucas in her arms and he was starting to squirm, wanting to get down. Both boys were walking now, but unsteadily, which meant they were an accident waiting to happen when let loose.
She put the stopper in the door, committee members started filing in—still chatting—and she took Lucas from Pauline, so she held a child in each arm.
“Is there anything more you need?” she asked the group at large, holding tight as Lucas twisted and fussed.
“We’re fine, Maddy. Truly.” Lacey Duggan came forward, a smile on her face. “This is wonderful. And you have your hands very full. We’ll come find you if we need something, but really, don’t worry about a thing.”
“Thanks, Lacey.” Lacey was new to Gibson, Montana, and new wife to Quinn Solomon up at Crooked Valley Ranch. Maddy let out a small sigh. “I was kind of hoping to be involved, but...” She let the sentence trail off and gave a small shrug with her aching shoulders.
“Your boys are adorable,” Lacey added, ruffling Liam’s hair.
“Thanks. I’m not usually this discombobulated.” She boosted Lucas on her hip, getting him in a better position. “Work and babies don’t go together very well.”
“Everyone understands,” Lacey offered sympathetically.
Yes, they did. And it burned Maddy’s biscuits that she was reminded of it so very often. As if she could forget what had gotten her in this position in the first place.
Gavin had been a cheater. And a liar.
“Well, I’d better get back to the desk. Holler, okay?”
She pasted on a smile and went back to the room where she’d set up the boys. She dug in her bag and pulled out a sleeve of arrowroot cookies and two sippy cups of milk that had been sitting against an ice pack. “Okay, boys, please be good for Mommy. Please. I have to check the front desk and then I’ll be back.”
For the moment, the promise of a cookie and milk pacified the children and Maddy zipped out to the front desk. The library was quiet; other than the meeting there were no other special activities tonight, thank goodness. Two or three people browsed the stacks, and Maddy quietly went to them and told them to ring the bell at the circulation desk when they were ready to check their books out.
A quick breath and back to check on the boys.
And so went the next hour and a half. A quick check, back to the front. Change a diaper, back to the cart to put books back on the shelves. Slipping the twins into their pajamas, and then back to the drop box to scan the returned books into the system. She could hear the committee laughing behind the door and her shoulders slumped. She should be in there. She wanted to help. Last Christmas the boys had only been a month old. This year they were old enough to be excited at the bright lights and the sound of ripping paper, eating a real Christmas dinner even if half of it had to be mashed.
Maybe she could make next week’s meeting. As long as her mom could babysit...
At five minutes to eight, the conference room door opened and the noise got louder, just as Liam had nodded off and Lucas was finally starting to settle, curled up with a blanket and rubbing his eyes. The sudden change in volume startled them both, and Maddy closed her eyes for a second, let out a breath. It was nearly done. She could close up the library and take the boys home and maybe, finally, get some sleep.
And for right now she was going to let the boys fuss and whimper for two minutes while she saw everyone out and locked the damn doors.
The place was nearly empty when she turned from the circulation desk and saw Cole come around the corner, a very grouchy Lucas on his arm. She felt a definite pang in her chest, seeing her fussy boy being held by a strong man, like a father would. Only Lucas didn’t have a father. He was going to miss out on all of that.
Then there was the impact of seeing Cole Hudson holding a baby. Men and babies... Maddy didn’t know if there was an evolutionary, biological reason for finding it so attractive or not, but there was no denying her heart softened just a little bit and her pulse started beating just a little faster.
“Cole, I’m sorry. I was going to get back to the boys as soon as I locked up.” She gave a small smile. “It doesn’t hurt them to fuss for a few minutes, you know.”
“The other one’s back to sleep. I thought I’d get this little guy out before he woke him up again.” Cole smiled, and her heart went all mushy again.
Stop it, she reminded herself. Pretty is as pretty does. And Gavin had been darned pretty. He’d given her pretty babies. And in all likelihood he’d fathered another one that was due any day—Laura Jessup’s baby.
She had a long way to go before she trusted anyone ever again. Even Cole, who had such a stellar reputation in the community that it seemed he could do no wrong.
“Thanks. I’ll take him. You probably want to get going.”
But Cole didn’t move. “You’re not leaving right away, are you?”
Her cheeks heated. “Well, I have to spend a few minutes tidying up. It won’t take long.”
Cole shifted Lucas’s weight, and to Maddy’s consternation, Lucas’s eyes were drifting shut, cocooned in the warm curve of Cole’s arm. “It’ll take you longer if you have him in your arms,” Cole reasoned. “I can stay for a few minutes. Give you a hand.”
“That’s generous of you, Cole, but...”
“But nothing.” He chuckled. “I heard you were stubborn. Accept the help, Maddy. It’s no big deal.”
It felt like a big deal to her. “I’m perfectly capable of handling it. Thank you.” She moved forward and took Lucas out of Cole’s arms, close enough to Cole that she could smell his aftershave and feel the soft cotton of his shirt as her fingers brushed against it. The last thing she wanted was more pity. More sympathetic looks. All it did was remind her of how stupid she’d been. How duped. She’d been an inconsolable wreck when she’d gotten the news about the car accident. Three days later she’d gone to Gavin’s funeral as the grieving widow, devastated that they’d never have the chance to fix their marriage, that her boys would grow up without their father.
And two days later she’d heard the rumors. And remembered that Laura had been at the funeral and offered her condolences...
Maddy brushed past Cole and left him to exit the library on his own, and she went to the conference room and began putting muffins back in the tin with one hand.
No one would make a fool of her that way again.
* * *
COLE SAT AT the kitchen table, sipping a glass of water and reading one of his latest cattle magazines. He knew he should go to bed. Tomorrow was an early start, and there were things he wanted to get done before snow hit, as it was forecast to do tomorrow night. He turned another page and realized he hadn’t really been reading. He’d been thinking about Maddy Wallace, how tired she’d looked, how she tried to cover it with her work face and how defensive she’d gotten when he’d tried to help.
And then he’d called her stubborn and that had been the end of any assistance he might have offered. That really stuck in her craw. He’d make a point of not saying that again. He was certain to see her, as the meetings for the committee were always at the library. Besides, Gibson was pretty small. Their paths crossed now and again.
And as such, Maddy’s story was pretty common knowledge. Her husband had been killed in a car accident several months before, leaving her widowed with the twins. Which would have been bad enough, but rumors had spread that Gavin Wallace had been having an affair. He didn’t blame Maddy for being defensive. It wasn’t nice having your dirty laundry hung up for everyone to see.
The exhausted, hopeless look on her face tonight had reminded him of someone else, too. Someone he tried not to think of much anymore...
He hardly noticed when his mother came into the kitchen. It wasn’t until the fridge door opened that he jumped and spun in his chair, looking over his shoulder at her.
Ellen Hudson was still a beautiful woman at fifty-seven. Her gray hair was cut in a wispy sort of bob and while she had crow’s-feet at the corners of her eyes, they still twinkled as blue as ever. She gave a light laugh at Cole’s surprise and took a carton of milk from the fridge.
“You’re up late. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Just reading. Winding down.” Thinking too much.
She went to the cupboard and got a mug. “Me, too. I couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d try some warm milk.” She poured the milk into the mug and put it in the microwave. Cole watched as she took it out again, added a splash of vanilla and a spoon of brown sugar, and took a sip.
“I don’t know how you drink that disgusting stuff,” he commented, closing his magazine.
She grinned and sat down opposite him. “I drank it when I was pregnant with Tanner and was off the caffeine.” She cradled the mug and looked up at him. “Something on your mind, son?”
“Not really. Probably just too much coffee at the meeting tonight.”
“How’d that go?”
“Good,” he answered, leaning back in his chair. “Things are coming together.”
“I’m sorry we’re going to miss it,” his mother said. “We’ll be in St. Thomas by then.”
Cole grinned. “You’re not that sorry. You and Dad have been waiting for this trip for years.” They were flying to Florida to spend a week, and then taking a two-week cruise through the Caribbean. “Besides, you’ll be back for Christmas.”
“Of course we will. With a suntan.” She laughed a little. “I’m not sure if my sleeping problems are from excitement or anxiety.”
It was Cole’s turn to laugh. “Mom, I promise Tanner and I aren’t going to throw any ragers while you guys are out of town.”
“Smart-ass.” But she laughed, too. “You both are grown men. And good men. Still, I hate leaving you to manage both the ranch and the house.”
“We’re big boys. We know how to clean and cook. You go and don’t worry a bit about us. We’ll eat steak every night. It’s Tanner’s specialty.”
If Tanner was ever home, that was. He always seemed to find somewhere to go, something to do. And when he wasn’t being a social butterfly, he was putting in hours as a volunteer EMT. Maybe it was because Tanner was younger, but he had an energy that far surpassed Cole’s. Or maybe Cole was just more of a homebody.
“You know, if you’d hurry up and get married...”
“I know, I know. You and Dad would downsize and you wouldn’t worry about me so much. And while I’m at it, get to work on some grandkids for you to spoil.”
It was a well-worn refrain. And one he understood, but he didn’t need to have it mentioned quite so often. It wasn’t that he had anything against settling down. He just hadn’t met the right one yet. Every girl he dated seemed great for a while, but then the novelty fizzled out.
Lately he’d started to wonder if the problem was that he was afraid of getting too close to someone. When Roni left him, he’d felt like such a failure. He’d tried over and over to help her, but nothing had worked. He had no idea where she was now, or if she was even okay. Truth be told, he hadn’t been in love with a woman since she’d trampled on his heart. And that had been eight long years ago.
His mind went back a few hours to Maddy and the way she’d shut him out so quickly. She was living proof of what happened when a marriage went wrong. The last thing he’d want to do was rush into a marriage and end up making a mess. “I’m not in a big hurry,” he replied, frowning into his water glass. “I take marriage seriously, Mom. Isn’t that what you want?”
“Of course.” She reached over and touched his hand. “You know we just want to see you happy. You’d be such a good dad, Cole. A good husband. You’re a good man.”
Ugh, she made it sound as though he was such a paragon, when he knew he wasn’t. He supposed she was looking at him through mom goggles.
“Hmm,” he answered, thinking again of Maddy and how stressed she’d seemed. It had to be hard at the best of times, handling twins. Doing it on her own must be an extra challenge. He remembered what she was like before. A hard worker, always with a smile, with an extra glow once she met Gavin and they got engaged. In Gibson everyone pretty well knew everyone else, even though she’d been a few years behind him in school. It sucked that her vibrancy, that glow, had disappeared.
“Thinking about anything in particular?” his mom asked.
“Just Maddy Wallace. She was working at the library tonight and her babysitting fell through and she had the twins. She was run ragged.”
“Maddy’s had a rough time, that’s for sure.” She nodded. “Losing her husband, finding out he was cheating. She’s one strong girl, picking herself up the way she has. But the whole situation has to be hard.”
“I got the impression that she doesn’t appreciate a lot of pity,” he said, raising an eyebrow.
“Would you?” his mom asked simply. “If your dad had stepped out on me, and the whole town knew about it? I’d be humiliated. And really angry. Honey, Maddy hasn’t got anyone to be angry with anymore, except herself, really. I’m sure she’d rather forget all about the whole thing.”
He hadn’t thought of it in quite that way before. The one person she’d probably like to ask most about the affair couldn’t answer. And as far as he could gather, Laura wasn’t talking. Which was to her credit, really. But it didn’t help stop the gossip.
“Son,” she said, taking the last drink of her milk, “this is one time I’m not going to do any urging or matchmaking. Maddy has a truckload of baggage to sort through. But if you ended up in a position to give her a helping hand, that wouldn’t be amiss, either. The holidays are coming up and she has those two babies to think about. Maybe your committee can think about that, too, amid all the festival stuff.”
It wasn’t a half-bad idea, though the idea of Maddy accepting any form of charity was ludicrous. She wouldn’t even accept his help in cleaning up the room tonight, which was just dumping some garbage cans and emptying the coffeemaker.
It would have to be something secret, something she wouldn’t expect, something that seemed random.
What in heck would that be?
“I’m a guy. I don’t do well with this sort of thing.”
His mom laughed, got up and put her mug in the sink. Then she came over to him and dropped a kiss on top of his head. “You’re probably better at it than you think. And now I have to get to bed. I have a lot of packing to do tomorrow. I’m not letting your father anywhere near those suitcases.”
After she left the room, Cole fussed with the corner of the magazine pages, thinking. It wasn’t a bad idea, actually, helping one of their own. Besides, up until the last few months, Maddy had always been active in Gibson, helping out with fund-raisers and activities with a smile.
Life had handed her some huge lemons. Maybe it was up to them to give her the lemonade. It was the season of giving, after all.
What could go wrong?
Chapter Two (#ulink_d06584dc-c14b-5a52-870c-db8b7babea86)
Maddy was trying to space out her shopping and minimize her babysitting bills, so she hit the town’s rather small department store on a Tuesday after work to pick up a few things before she was due to get the boys.
She had forty dollars today. That was it. And there was another payday before Christmas where she might be able to squeeze a bit more out of her check. It wasn’t as though the boys were old enough to know they were getting less than most other kids. It was that she knew. She knew she couldn’t provide the type of Christmas she wanted to and it bugged her to no end.
As she pushed the metal cart toward the baby section, she took a deep breath. Thinking about finances just made her angry at Gavin again, and that didn’t serve any purpose. In the new year, she was going to make a new plan, that was all. Maybe downsize to a smaller house, for one. The three of them didn’t need two thousand square feet, really. A smaller bungalow would suit them fine and the upkeep would certainly be easier.
She stopped by the baby clothes, searching for discounts. Pajamas were on sale, cute little blue and green ones with the feet in them and a brown-and-white puppy on the front. She put one of each color in the cart. She picked up fuzzy socks, new slippers with the traction dots on the bottom and two soft white onesies.
Calculating in her head, she had about fifteen dollars left. Barely.
At the toy section she was utterly daunted. How could she buy two toys with what she had left?
She’d decided on the rock-a-stack rings she knew the boys loved from the church nursery, and was deliberating the wisdom of wooden alphabet blocks when a voice startled her.
“I just need help getting it down from the top shelf.”
Maddy looked across the aisle and felt her face go red-hot. Laura Jessup was smiling at an employee, pointing at a crib set on a high shelf. She was everything Maddy wasn’t, it seemed—petite, red haired, creamy complexioned, young.
And carrying Maddy’s husband’s baby. There was no mistaking the roundness at her middle. At Maddy’s best guess, Laura had to be close to seven, eight months along. Not that she was about to ask the exact due date. Gavin had died five months ago, which meant that he’d been seeing Laura pretty much since she’d showed up in town last spring.
With the plastic case containing the comforter in hand, Laura turned around and caught Maddy staring at her. For a brief second she looked embarrassed and awkward, but then she put on an uncertain smile. “Madison,” she began, and started walking toward Maddy.
Hell, no, Maddy thought, her throat tightening and heart pounding. This is not going to happen.
She wasn’t going to have a panic attack, but it was damned close, and she hustled the cart across to housewares, down the center and straight to the cash registers.
A quick glance behind her as she put her items on the belt reassured her that Laura hadn’t followed her. Thank God. Maddy wasn’t interested in anything Laura had to say.
“Is that all today, Mrs. Wallace?”
She nodded at the girl behind the counter. Young and fresh faced and wearing a Santa hat, she looked innocent and happy. “Yes, that’s it, Stephanie. Thanks.”
“It’s forty-one dollars and ten cents,” Stephanie said, and Maddy dug out the extra dollar and change. She’d stayed pretty close to budget after all.
“Is the library still having the tree lighting?” the cashier asked, chatting as if unaware that Maddy wanted to be just about anywhere else right now.
“Yes, on the thirteenth,” she answered. “To kick off Snowflake Days.”
“It’s so much fun every year. Last year when I went, I—”
Maddy grabbed the shopping bags and flashed a hurried smile. “Sorry, Stephanie. I was supposed to pick up the boys ten minutes ago. I’ve gotta run.”
“Oh, sure, Mrs. Wallace. Have a nice day.”
The air outside the store was bitter, a distinct change from the crisp bite of earlier. It felt as if snow was in the air. She’d like to get home before it started, since she didn’t have her winter tires on yet. She should probably do that soon...
“Afternoon, Maddy.”
She had her head stuck in the trunk, stowing the bags, and the sound of her name being spoken prompted her to stand up too quickly and smack her head on the hood.
She now understood why people called it seeing stars. Little dots swam in front of her eyes as she held on to the lip of the trunk for support.
“Whoa, there!” A strong hand gripped her arm, steadying her. “I didn’t mean to scare you. Sorry about that.”
She blinked a few times and her vision cleared, though the pain was still sharp in her head. Cole Hudson stood before her, a frown of concern on his handsome face.
“I’m fine. You just scared me, is all.” She pushed away from the car, and then reached for the hood, giving it a good slam.
“Maddy, hold still.” He reached into his pocket and took out a handkerchief. “I think you cut your head.”
Now that he mentioned it, there was a funny feeling on the right side of her head, as if a raindrop had fallen on her hair and was trickling toward her ear.
He reached forward and pressed the cotton to her head with a firm but gentle touch. “Wow, you really smacked it.”
He took the handkerchief away and she saw a decent-sized blot of blood. “I’ve been preoccupied all day,” she admitted, letting out a breath. “And I’m late to pick up the boys.” It was a white lie, but he didn’t know that. It sounded better than I’m running away from my husband’s mistress.
“I want to make sure you’re all right first,” Cole insisted. “Or I could drive you over there myself. They at your folks’ place?”
“No, at the day care. I can’t expect Mom to keep them all the time, and it was a workday for me. Besides, the day care is closer.” Maddy’s mom and dad lived on a pretty lot on the other side of the river. They’d been absolutely wonderful over the past few months, but Maddy was determined to stand on her own two feet.
He dabbed at her head with the kerchief again. “It seems to be stopping. Not too deep, then. Still, it looks like you had your bell rung pretty good.”
He’d raised one eyebrow and looked slightly roguish, a small smile flirting with his lips. She couldn’t help it—she laughed a little. “So, my secret is out. Now you know I’m the world’s biggest klutz.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t say that big.” He was genuinely smiling at her now. “Listen, I’ve been meaning to call you. I wanted to talk to you about the festival. Why don’t we grab a coffee or something?”
It surprised her to realize that she wanted to accept. Generally she took her own tea bags or hot chocolate to the library rather than spend money on the extravagance, and she really did need to pick up the boys...though it had been a complete fabrication to say she was running late, since she was paid up until five, which was another hour and a bit away.
“I probably shouldn’t,” she said, pushing her purse straps more securely on her shoulder.
“Hey,” Cole said quietly. “When was the last time you let someone buy you a cup of coffee, huh? It’s got to be hard being a single mom. Heck, my ma raised two boys and she had my dad and she said we were exhausting. You’ve got twins...phew.”
“Great, now I’m a pity date?”
“Good Lord, woman, you’re exasperating.” Cole stepped back and tucked his hands into his jacket pockets. “I actually do want to talk to you about the festival. Over coffee sounded kind of nice, that’s all. Look, I admire all your independence and stuff, but not everything comes from pity around here. Sometimes people genuinely want to help people they care about, that’s all.”
Was he saying he cared about her? They didn’t even know each other that well. Of course, he must be speaking in far more general terms, right?
His words made her feel sheepish, too. It was no secret she had a chip on her shoulder. She’d always liked Cole. He was well-known in town, and had been only a couple of years ahead of her in school. He and Gavin had been in the same class from kindergarten right through graduation. Not that she truly trusted Gav’s judgment anymore, either.
She sighed, met Cole’s gaze. “I get defensive. I’m sorry, Cole. I was kind of stressed out when you came up behind me and then I whacked my head and you’re right about the pity thing.” She shrugged. “I tell myself every day that I should get over being bitter. It’s just hard.”
“Of course it is. And you’re bringing up two rambunctious boys on your own. You’ll find people in this town have a lot of respect for you, Maddy. Now what do you say? Do you want to stop at the diner, or maybe the Daily Grind?”
Why shouldn’t she go have a cup of something? Didn’t she deserve something for herself? Maddy nodded and felt a weight lift. “The Grind would be really nice, actually. I haven’t been in there for ages.”
She locked the car and walked beside him as they made their way down Main Street to the coffee shop. It had opened fairly recently, a somewhat trendy spot in a town steeped in old-time traditions. He held the door for her and she stepped in, loving the scents that hit her nose the moment she entered—coffee, chocolate, cinnamon—lovely, cozy, warm scents that wrapped around her and eased some of the stresses of her day.
“What will you have?” Cole asked. “My treat.”
“I can get my own,” she insisted, but Cole cut her off.
“What did I just say outside?”
“Sorry.” She hoped she wasn’t blushing again. “Um, what kinds of tea do you have?” She looked at the girl behind the counter.
“The list is here.” The girl gestured, pointing to a sign on a glass display front. “But this month we have a special flavor called Country Christmas, if you would like to try it. It’s kind of like mulled cider, only with black tea.”
“That sounds lovely. I’ll have that,” Maddy said. She looked longingly at the apple cinnamon pastries, but it would only be a few more hours and she’d have dinner. Besides, she was letting Cole buy her tea. She wouldn’t presume to order anything to eat.
He ordered coffee and Maddy added honey to her tea while he waited for his order. To her surprise, he came over to her and put down a plate with two pastries on it before reaching for the cream to add to his coffee.
“Don’t say it,” he said before she could even open her mouth. “My mom and dad left a few days ago for their trip and there’s no baking in the house.”
“Let me guess. Chronic sweet tooth?”
He stirred his coffee, dropped the stir stick in the trash and picked up both mug and plate. “Yeah. I think I’m spoiled probably, because my mom always keeps the kitchen well stocked for us.”
“Hungry boys working the ranch need good home cooking.”
“Yep.” He grinned. “And my mom’s is the best.”
They found seats not too far from the window. Maddy looked around. The Christmas decorations were up, with boughs and pretty white lights draped around the dark wood rails and beams. Someone had sprayed fake snow on the corners of the windows, and a huge poinsettia was on a small table in the corner. Some sort of new-agey Christmas music played on the speakers, with a bluesy-sounding saxophone and a reassuring bass line. Maddy took a sip of her tea—delicious—and let her stress levels drop another notch.
“See?” he said, pushing the plate toward her and handing her one of the forks. “Time out for Maddy.”
She laughed a bit. “I’ve been so cranky lately that you’re probably doing a public service,” she joked. Sort of joked, anyway. All work and no play and all that...
“Aw, darn, you saw right through me,” he quipped, cutting a huge corner of the pastry with the edge of his fork. “Of course not. I just realized last week at the library that you really had your hands full. It got me thinking, that’s all.”
Again she got the weird swirly sensation at the idea of Cole thinking about her.
“Well, whatever the reason, thank you. This is delicious.”
“That’s better. And you’re welcome.”
She took a bite of turnover and closed her eyes. The pastry was light and flaky and beautifully buttery. “This is going to ruin my supper, and I don’t even care,” she said, licking the caramelly residue on the fork.
“I’d say mine, too, but it’s Tanner’s night to cook. If he’s home. I’ll probably end up making myself a sandwich or something later tonight.”
“Your mom really does spoil you.” She met his gaze again and grinned.
“And I let her, so I’m as bad as she is.” He smiled, too. “Honestly, there are some pros to still living at home. And it doesn’t make sense to pay for two households when there’s more than enough room. But yeah, I’m a thirty-three-year-old man living with his parents. Whoo-ee, look at me.”
Maddy wondered why he’d never married, but she sure as shootin’ wasn’t going to ask. It was none of her business, and she didn’t like it when people pried into her personal life. Besides, Cole was hardly the stereotypical live-at-home type. The Hudson ranch was solid, respected in the town and state, with a reputation for quality stock and fair dealing. Definitely a family operation.
Before she could reply, he continued, “Of course, there are some disadvantages, too. Like no privacy. And it can be a little tough on the ego.”
“You’ve got big shoulders,” she said, cutting off another bite of pastry. “You can handle it. If I remember right from our school days, you always seemed to handle just about anything.”
He’d had a reputation then of being solid, stable, smart. Reliable. The girls all swooned over him, he was well liked in general and he’d never gotten into any trouble, to her recollection. His brother, on the other hand...
“Wow. Maybe I should check my back to see if I’ve sprouted wings.”
“Naw, you could just take out another hanky and polish your halo.”
He laughed again. “How is your head, anyway?”
She touched the spot gingerly. “Tender, but not bad. Just a teensy goose egg.”
“Good.”
They each drank again and then Maddy put down her cup and pushed the plate aside. “So, you said you wanted to ask me something about the festival. What can I do to help? I know I haven’t been much help on the committee.”
Cole nodded. “Well, we’re looking for volunteers. I don’t know what your plans are with regard to the boys, but I thought I’d mention a few things. If it’s too hard on your schedule, maybe you could suggest someone.”
“Okay.”
“First up is the night of the tree lighting. We’re planning a food drive and need someone to just keep things organized at the collection site. When it’s over, I’ve offered my truck to load up the food, and I’ll deliver it the following day.”
Maddy thought for a minute. “I’m going to take the twins, but I know my parents always go to it, too. I’ll double-check with them to make sure they can watch the boys.”
“That’s great. The volunteers are all parking in the side lot at the fire station to free up room for attendees.”
Maddy really wished she’d been able to sit in on the meetings. “That’s a good idea. It’s so close but will help with congestion.”
“It was Mike Palmer’s idea.” Mike was part of the fire department and sat on just about every committee in Gibson. Maddy wasn’t surprised.
“Your name came up when we were discussing another event, too.” He finished his coffee and put the empty mug down on the table. “The Duggans have offered a wagon and horse team to do a sleigh ride on the walking pathway.”
“A sleigh ride with wheels?” She smiled a little, and despite her earlier Scrooginess, she was intrigued.
“If we get a big dump of snow, Duke says they can drive the team down Main Street instead. So far there’s only about an inch on the path. The idea is to leave from the library, go past the bridge down to the park, turn around and come back, and then have hot cocoa and cookies and story time inside. You’re good with kids. Are you up for a sleigh ride and storytelling?”
It sounded magical. Maybe too magical. Still, the idea of bundling up the boys and taking them on a wagon ride with jingling bells and carols...maybe she couldn’t have piles of presents under the tree, but they could still enjoy the season.
“Someone would have to stay at the library to make the cocoa and set out the cookies.”
“Pauline’s offered to do that. She has it all planned out. Sleigh ride at two, cocoa at two forty-five, story at three.”
Maddy smiled again. “She is always so organized. She’s a good chair for this event.”
“I hear you’re the one who did up the proposal last year,” Cole said, his voice a bit softer. “You planned to be on the committee, didn’t you?”
“Yeah.” She looked up at him. “Hey, if I’ve learned anything this year, it’s that sometimes things don’t work out exactly as you planned.”
“I’m really sorry about that, Maddy.”
“Me, too. It is what it is.”
Cole hesitated, but she could tell he wanted to say something. “What is it?” she asked. “You might as well say it. You won’t hurt my feelings. I’m past that.”
His gorgeous blue eyes held hers. “I was just wondering how you’re managing, that’s all. It’s none of my business, I know that.” He raised his hand as if to say, tell me to back off if I’m overstepping. “It’s just... I don’t know what I’m trying to say. Well, I do, but I know how you feel about pity and charity.”
Embarrassment slithered through her stomach, crept up her chest and neck in the form of a blush. “We’re getting by, so don’t worry about that. In the new year I’m going to sit down and make some decisions, I think. But we’re not cold and we’re not starving, Cole. There are others out there a lot worse off than we are.” Who was she to complain? Her children had clothes and food and love and a roof over their heads. More than anything, Maddy had learned that the rest was just gravy. Window dressing. She knew she needed to spend a lot more time being thankful and less time being bitter.
“Maybe you could use some extra cash for Christmas?”
“What do you mean?” She frowned. “I considered looking for some extra retail shifts in town for a few weeks, just during the busy time. But by the time I factored in child care...it didn’t seem worth it.”
“What if you could take the boys with you and didn’t have to pay for day care?”
She laughed. “What employer would go along with that?”
He leveled his gaze at her. “I would.”
“You?”
The idea of working for Cole Hudson was so strange and, frankly, made her stomach flip over nervously. “Cole, if this is some make-work project to, I don’t know, make you feel good or something...”
Something flitted through his eyes, but then she wondered if she’d imagined it, it was gone so fast. “It’s not,” he assured her. “Tanner and I are on our own until the twenty-third. I’m a terrible cook and Tanner’s unreliable, frankly. I can’t eat fried steak every night for three weeks. I was thinking that I’d like to hire someone just until then, to come in and do some cooking and light cleaning every other day or so. Without Dad, Tanner and I are putting in some extra hours. Not having to do the wash or make dinner at night would be awesome.”
“You want a housekeeper.”
“I just thought, since you’re part-time at the library, and with Christmas coming up, it might work out well for you. I’ll pay ten bucks an hour, for four hours every other day.”
The annoying thing was that he was right and the temptation of the money was great. Still, it was a pity job, wasn’t it? And that grated.
She wasn’t sure she had room for pride right now. Forty dollars a day times, what, eight days? That was three hundred and twenty dollars. She could buy the boys’ presents for sure, and have leftover to catch up on bills. How could she say no to that?
He tapped her hand, bringing her attention back. “Hey,” he said. “I can probably hire a student who’s home for Christmas to do it. But I thought of you. And you can bring the boys with you. I don’t mind.”
“You’d want me to tidy up, do laundry, do some cooking?”
“That’s it. It would be helping us out a lot, and maybe giving you some fun money at the same time. Win-win.”
“I never saw myself as a housekeeper,” she muttered. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m not too proud for it. I just...well, damn, Cole. My life has just done a one eighty in the last few months. It’s like I hardly recognize it anymore.”
Cole put his hand over hers. “It’s okay. When something so unexpected happens, so life altering, it takes a good while to adjust to a new normal.”
The knot of tension eased inside her. His hand felt warm and strong over hers, and his words were exactly what she needed to hear. Rather than looking at her life as a chaotic mess, it was a search for a new normal. She’d get there. She just had to be patient.
“When would you want me to start?”
He laughed. “Tomorrow? Three days and I’m already sick of Tanner’s cooking and the laundry’s piling up.”
She checked her watch, realizing that time had flown and she truly did have to pick up the boys soon. “Would mornings be okay? I usually work afternoons at the library, and on my days off I’d still be able to get the boys home for a good afternoon nap. You have no idea how much that helps their temperament.”
“Mornings are fine. I’ll leave the front door open, but I’ll try to be in around...nine? I’ll show you around, get you set up. Then you’re done by one.”
“Sounds good.” She pushed out her chair and reached for her coat. “I really should get going, though. The day care gets miffed if parents are late. But thank you for the tea. You were right. It was nice to just get out and sit for an hour or so.”
“It was my pleasure. And thanks for helping me out.” He stood and took his jacket off the back of his chair. In moments they were bundled up against the cold and headed for the door.
To her surprise, he walked her back to her car, too. The snow had started, just light flakes drifting lazily, and Maddy hoped they didn’t get much. She had to drive out to Cole’s in the morning, and without winter tires. Maybe the first thing she should do with Cole’s money was have them installed.
He shut her door for her and waited until she’d started the car before stepping back. Maybe she should feel crowded or patronized by his behavior this afternoon. But she didn’t.
She felt cared for and protected. Which was silly. It was a few hours of work, and a request for volunteering, and a cup of tea. And she was fully capable of looking after herself.
But it was the fact that he’d looked at her—really at her—that had made the difference. And she didn’t think he’d simply seen Maddy Wallace, charity case.
If nothing else, she was extremely grateful for that.
Chapter Three (#ulink_c971a5a8-0f90-5e7c-963d-db444edecc88)
Cole knew he shouldn’t be nervous.
So why was his gut a tangle of knots? He’d come to the house at eight thirty, after the first of the morning chores were done, and he’d washed up, combed his hair—twice—and considered changing his shirt.
It was just Maddy. He’d known her his whole life. And this was just his way of helping her out over the holidays. It was funny, he realized, that the whole committee for Snowflake Days talked about helping the less fortunate at Christmas but Maddy’s name hadn’t come up once. It didn’t take a genius to do the math. Unless Gavin had left her a hefty life-insurance policy—which Cole doubted he had—part-time hours at a small municipal library wouldn’t house and feed a family of three. Plus day care. Maddy had to be struggling, and far more than she let on.
She wouldn’t accept help, so offering her work was really the only solution. He didn’t even really need it. He knew how to run a washing machine and a vacuum perfectly well. And he wasn’t the greatest cook, but he could bake a potato, make a chicken breast, heat some vegetables in the microwave. Hell, last night he’d gone into the market and picked up one of those rotisserie chicken meals for fifteen dollars and it had done him and Tanner for supper and there were still leftovers in the fridge.
He wasn’t as inept as he’d led her to believe, but she didn’t need to know that.
Movement out the front window caught his attention and he looked closer, saw her car crawling carefully up the drive. Fool woman still had her summer tires on, and it was December. With the three inches of snow that had fallen last night, the road probably had tricky spots.
Cole ran his hand over his hair once more before reaching for the doorknob. He swung it open just as she climbed the steps, carrying a diaper bag and playpen in her arms.
“Thanks!” she huffed out, putting them down just inside the kitchen. “Just a sec. I’ll get the boys.”
Her head disappeared inside the car again, and when she withdrew she had a boy on each arm. At least it looked like the boys—the snowsuits in blue and red were so puffy that Cole could hardly see the babies inside.
It occurred to him that she must have really great biceps, and he grinned at the thought.
“Here, let me take one of them,” he offered as she climbed the steps. She leaned to one side, handing him one of the boys—he couldn’t tell which one. Once inside she sat her cargo on the floor and began the process of pulling off boots and unzipping snowsuits. Cole hadn’t done such a thing ever in his life, but he followed her lead, and before too long two identical boys stood before them dressed in little jogging suits with crooked socks and staticky hair, a pile of winter gear at their feet.
“How do you tell them apart?” Cole asked. “I mean, as their mom, you must just know or something. But...well, how do I tell the difference?”
She laughed. “Luke is a little bigger than Liam, and his eyes are just a little different. He’s more independent, too. Liam’s the one who likes to cuddle and be held all the time.” She looked over at him and her eyes twinkled. “Which means one is in my arms, making it hard for me to get anything done, and the other one is off getting into trouble—”
“Making it hard for you to get anything done.” Cole chuckled. “I get it.” He looked directly at the boys and nodded. “Hi, Luke. Hi, Liam.”
They both stared at him with owl eyes, but one raised a hand and opened and shut his fingers in a sort of wave. The other popped his thumb in his mouth.
“So this one is Luke,” he said, pointing at the waver, “and the other is Liam.”
“Bingo. Let me set up the playpen and get them into a confined space, and then you can show me where things are.”
It seemed to take no time at all and she had the playpen set up. A few solid jerks and snaps and it popped into a square. Without any fuss she deposited the boys inside, added a handful of soft toys from the bag she’d brought, gathered up their outerwear and stowed it neatly on a bench by the door, and was ready to go.
“Are you sure they’ll be okay there?” Cole was skeptical. It seemed like such a small space, after all.
But Maddy nodded. “I’m sure. Until they’re not, and I’ll deal with that when we get there.” She smiled at him. “Okay. Give me the nickel tour.”
He led her through the house, showing her the upstairs first, where the bedrooms and bathrooms were. “The washer and dryer are in the mudroom off the garage,” he said. “Tanner and I put our dirty laundry there this morning, but normally we keep it in a clothes hamper in our rooms.”
On the way downstairs he added, “Mom keeps her cleaning supplies in the laundry room, too, in a carry basket. You should be able to find everything you need there.”
“Sounds fine,” she said, following behind him.
They went to the mudroom next and he opened a closet to reveal a vacuum cleaner and broom and dustpan. “For the floors. The big freezer is out here, too, if you start supper or anything and are looking for stuff.”
They ventured back into the kitchen. To Cole’s surprise, the boys were stacking up soft blocks on the floor of the playpen and then knocking them over, giggling. It took no time at all to give her the rundown of the cupboards. “I’d better go and get out of your way, then,” he added, feeling suddenly awkward. He couldn’t help but notice she’d worn a soft hoodie in dark green, a color that set off her fair skin and blue eyes. And Maddy Wallace looked damned fine in a pair of dark-wash jeans, too. He had the sudden thought that she’d be very nice to cuddle up to...
“Hey, are you okay?” Her voice interrupted him. “You just kind of drifted off there for a sec.”
Could he feel more foolish? He remembered his mom’s words a few days before they left, when he’d mentioned Maddy’s name. She’d actually discouraged him from any romantic notions where Maddy was concerned. And after speaking to Maddy yesterday, he knew for sure that she was still hurting from the events of the last year. He had no business thinking about being near her in any way other than being a good neighbor.
“I’m fine. Sorry.”
“It’s no problem. Will you and Tanner be in for lunch?”
She was all business, and he should be glad, but he was a little annoyed. Clearly she wasn’t as distracted by him as he was by her.
“Yes, around noon or a little after. But we can get ourselves something to eat.”
“Let’s just see how it goes.” She smiled at him. “I’ll be fine, Cole. I’m going to start some laundry before the boys start demanding attention, and I think I’ll run the vacuum over the floors and get some cooking started.”
“Right.” It was what he’d hired her to do, but he had to admit it felt strange, having her and her babies in the middle of the normally quiet house. And not strange in a bad way, necessarily. Just very, very different.
While she traded toys for the boys in the playpen, Cole went to the mudroom and put on his jacket and boots. He had his hand on the doorknob when she appeared, heading straight for the two laundry hampers standing in front of the dryer.
She laughed. “Seriously, Cole. I can run a washing machine.”
He shook his head. “Sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. Of course you can. I’ll see you in a few hours. I’ll be at the barn if you need anything.”
“If you keep talking, you’ll be here until lunch. And I won’t get any work done.”
He swallowed against the lump in his throat, annoyed with the route his thoughts had taken. That wasn’t what this was about. It was helping someone who needed a hand. Nothing more.
He stomped outside and shut the door behind him, then hurried through the snow to the barn. Maybe the fresh air would get his head right. In any case, he’d better get himself together for when he went back to the house at noon.
* * *
MADDY BREATHED A sigh of relief as Cole left the house. She could see him walking to the barn, his hands shoved in his jacket pockets and his shoulders hunched against the cold. He’d lingered this morning, and she wasn’t sure what for, but there’d been a moment in the kitchen when his eyes had gone all soft and dazed and little alarm bells had gone off in her head.
Cole was a nice guy. He was giving her a helping hand and she appreciated it. But oh, my, she was so not in a place for romance. She hoped that wasn’t what he had on his mind. She had her hands full enough just trying to keep her life together.
It didn’t help that he was so flipping handsome, either. Stupid dark hair that set off his stupid blue eyes so that a girl couldn’t think straight. Well, she was smarter than that now, and her only reason for being here was to make a little extra Christmas cash to give her sons a special holiday.
Speaking of, she needed to get that load of laundry in the washer if she was going to get two loads done in the time she had left.
By the time she’d sorted the clothes and gotten the washer started, the boys were getting bored. She took them out of the playpen, and then moved the bulky structure to the stairs, blocking them from doing any climbing—and falling. Then she turned on the television and found the station and programs that they liked. Even at barely over a year old, the sounds and colors were intriguing and Maddy laughed to herself as Liam bobbed on his knees a bit, out of time to the music but dancing, anyway. Luke took one look at his brother and joined in with a big toothy smile.
“Please, stay this good,” she breathed as she spread out a blanket and added toys, making it a play mat in the middle of the living room.
In deference to Cole’s professed sweet tooth, she wanted to bake something for them to have on hand, and she figured a cake was as fast as anything. It didn’t take long to find a recipe book and the ingredients in Ellen’s tidy cupboards, and while the boys played and sang away to the program on TV, she whipped up a chocolate cake and had it in the oven. A quick trip to the mudroom showed the laundry on the spin cycle, so she searched the freezer and took out a ham and put it in a slow cooker to bake for the afternoon. By the time she’d changed laundry over, the boys needed diaper changes and then a snack. The cake came out of the oven and she put it to cool, then sat with the boys for a few minutes and read them three stories, including their favorite, Mole in a Hole, twice.
After settling them again with a Thomas the Tank Engine DVD, she built a casserole of scalloped potatoes, which she put in the oven to bake, and prepared a pot of carrots that Cole and Tanner could simply turn on and cook. She put the second load of laundry in the dryer, made frosting for the cake and checked her watch. It was nearly noon. Where had the morning gone?
She fixed a plate of sandwiches and put it on the table, along with sliced pickles and a pitcher of water. Coffee was brewing and she was doing the dishes when she heard the mudroom door open and boots stomping on the mat.
The boys paused in their playing and looked at her as if to say, “What’s that noise?”
Tanner came in first. Maddy hadn’t seen Tanner in some time, but he looked the same as ever. A bit slighter than Cole, and a bit younger, with crinkles at the corners of his eyes that spoke of a devilish nature. He’d been a bit of a hellion in his younger years, though Maddy hadn’t heard anything remarkable about him lately. Cole followed behind, tall, steady, a grown-up, serious version of his brother. Where Tanner’s eyes had an impish gleam, Cole’s held a certain warmth and steadfastness. Luke wobbled to his feet, tottered over to Tanner and lifted his arms. “Bup! Bup!”
Maddy laughed, and Cole spoke up. “Tanner, meet Luke.”
“You got it right!” she praised. “You’re a quick study.”
Tanner reached down and picked up Luke, unfazed by the sight of kids in his home. “Hey, there.” He settled the boy on his arm and looked at Maddy. “Nice to see you. Let me guess, this is your extrovert?”
She nodded. “Liam’s my serious one.” A quick glance showed Liam holding back, his eyes troubled. “He’s more...reserved.”
“Sounds like Cole and me,” Tanner observed. “Here, partner. I’m gonna put you down now. Looks like your mama made lunch, and I need to wash up.”
“Me, too,” Cole said, a strange look on his face.
“Mum mum mum mum,” Liam hummed after the men had gone to wash up. “Unh.”
Maddy was looking forward to actual words. As it was she had to translate, and she knew what Liam wanted—his share of the attention, and something to eat. With a sigh, she put him on her hip, then dug in the diaper bag for a few small covered dishes. When Cole and Tanner returned, she was sitting at one end of the table, a boy on each knee, with a dazzling array of Cheerios, tiny cheese cubes and banana scattered on the surface.
She raised an eyebrow at Cole. “Now you see why I leave vacuuming for last.”
He smiled warmly. “They’ll learn table manners in time.”
“I know. But I’m about to wear a fair bit of that banana. Those cute little hands will have it smeared all over my shirt in seconds.”
Tanner took a chair. “This is great, Maddy. Thanks for making lunch.”
“I hope it’s okay. I wasn’t sure how big a meal you ate at noon.”
“This is fine,” Cole said, reaching for a sandwich. “It’s usually something like this, or some leftovers or something.” He looked over at the counter. “Is that cake?”
“Yes, chocolate, with peanut butter frosting. For your sweet tooth.” She smiled a little, teasing him.
“I should never have told you that.”
“Well, you did. So now I know how to get around you. Just keep you flush with baked goods.”
He pointed his sandwich at her. “You think it’s that easy?”
They were openly teasing now, and she realized Tanner was looking from his brother to her and back again. Luke patted his hand against a beautifully soft circle of banana and Liam shoved three Cheerios awkwardly into his mouth.
Her smile faded a bit. “I’m not going to incriminate myself by answering that question. You are my boss, after all.”
Tanner chuckled and reached for a few pickle slices. “Nice one.”
The meal continued, but Maddy got the feeling Cole was put out about something. He didn’t say much and there was a stubborn set to his mouth she hadn’t seen before.
“I take it you boys can handle cooking some carrots tonight? I have a ham in the slow cooker, and scalloped potatoes in the oven. All you need to do is heat up the potatoes and boil the carrots and you’re done.”
“Ham and potatoes? Damn, that sounds good.” Tanner leaned back in his chair and stretched. “I’m going out, but I might just have to eat before I go if that’s on the menu.”
Same old Tanner. She looked over at Cole. He’d finished his meal and was wiping his fingers on a paper napkin. “Thank you, Maddy. That sounds terrific.”
“You’re welcome. I wasn’t sure what clothes belonged to whom, so everything is folded and in the laundry basket. You and Tanner can sort it out.”
“Sounds good.”
Luke started to squirm on her knee while Liam still methodically ate Cheerios. Maddy realized she’d left hand wipes in the bag, and when she reached for a paper napkin to clean Luke’s hands, all she did was smear the stickiness around.
Without a word, Cole got up, opened a drawer, took out a cloth and wet it at the sink.
“Here,” he said quietly, handing it over.
She took it gratefully, surprised that she hadn’t even had to ask. In a few quick movements she’d wiped both of Luke’s hands and his face and put him down on the floor. He went into the living room, his tottering gait so typical of a child new to walking, and grabbed a stuffed cow that mooed when he shook it up and down. Which he did. Several times.
“Ooo. Ooo.” Liam’s attention was shot now, so she wiped him off and let him go, too.
Tanner got up from the table and took his plate to the dishwasher. “Hey, Cole, I’m going to run that errand we talked about earlier.”
“Sounds good. I’ll see you back here later.”
“Thanks for lunch, Maddy.” Tanner smiled and headed for the mudroom. “’Bye, boys,” he called cheerfully.
“Tanner hasn’t changed a bit, has he?”
Cole shook his head, a sheepish smile on his face. “Not much. Though he tends to be a little more discreet than he used to be. Thank the Lord for that.”
Maddy had heard stories of how Tanner had gotten married in Vegas when he was younger, and that the marriage had only lasted a few days. But she wouldn’t ask about that and she wouldn’t judge. She knew how it felt to be on the receiving end of that sort of talk.
“He’s just a bit reckless, that’s all. But he’s still young. Hell, he’s only twenty-five.”
She smiled. “And your thirty-three is so old.”
“Older than your thirty-one.”
A squeal and cry erupted from the living room and Maddy got up to sort it out. By the time she’d returned, Cole had cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher—including wiping the mess her sons had made on the kitchen table.
“That’s supposed to be my job,” she said.
“Whatever. It’s nearly time for you to be off the clock, anyway.”
“The boys have been really good,” she said, turning back to the remaining bowls in the dishwater she’d left. It had cooled, but there was still hot water in the kettle and she added it to the sink. “They’re going to get tired soon. One o’clock is a good quitting time.”
He picked up a towel and started to dry the last of the dishes.
“Cole, I know you want to get back to work. Really, I’ve got this. You’re set for today and I’ll be back day after tomorrow. There should be ham left that you can have for tomorrow’s dinner.”
“Do you have to be so, I don’t know, businesslike?”
There was an edge of irritation to his voice that surprised her. “Isn’t that what I’m here for?”
He huffed out a breath. “It just feels weird.” His gaze caught hers and the intensity of it made her catch her breath.
“If you didn’t want me to work for you, you shouldn’t have offered me the job.”
He opened his mouth to say something, but then shut it again, as if he thought better of it. She narrowed her eyes. “What were you going to say just now?”
“Nothing. It’s not important.”
“Okay, then.” The kids were tuning up again, starting to fuss as nap time neared. “I really want to run the vacuum over the floors, Cole. I’ll see you Friday. Okay?”
But his eyes didn’t let her go. They held her, tethered there, for long seconds while the boys played with toys, a whiny undertone to their chatter. For the briefest of moments he dropped his gaze to her lips and back up again. But it was long enough for heat to rise to her cheeks. The last thing she wanted to do was be bashful, to acknowledge such a small thing could affect her in any way. So she lifted her chin just a little and kept her shoulders straight.
Unless she was imagining things, there was a new light of respect in his eyes.
“I’ll see you Friday,” he said, stepping back and giving her a nod.
“Yes, and at the tree lighting, too,” she added. “That’s Friday night.”
“Right.”
And still he didn’t leave...until the silence grew awkward.
“Well, ’bye.” He smiled, a little uncertainly, and then went to the boys and knelt down. “’Bye, boys,” he said. He held up a hand and Luke rushed forward and gave him a sloppy high five. Liam hung back and stared.
Cole looked over his shoulder at her. “He’s going to be a tough one to win over.”
And then finally, blessedly, he was gone to the mudroom. Maddy let out a breath and counted to ten, then busied herself around the kitchen and living room, picking up as much as she could so that they’d be ready to go once the floors were done. Once she heard the door slam behind Cole, she ventured into the mudroom and got the vacuum from the closet. She sat the boys on the sofa, and they were just tired enough they stayed put for the ten minutes it took her to finish tidying and put the vacuum away.
Then there were snowsuits and boots to put on and mittens and the trip to the car to fasten them inside and by the time Maddy was on the road back home she was exhausted. She really should do some baking for Sunday’s coffee break after church, but she thought she just might have a nap instead when the boys were asleep. The idea sounded decadent and very, very lovely.
Instead the boys fussed and resisted being put down until, worn-out, they finally collapsed, sprawled on her bed so there was no room for her. She covered them with a blanket, then tiptoed down to the sofa to try to settle her frayed nerves. She was just drifting off, in a hazy half-conscious state and thinking about Cole’s finely shaped lips, when the phone rang. And rang, and rang because she couldn’t find the handset to the cordless. It went to her voice mail, but not before Liam woke up and started crying.
At that point Maddy felt a bit like crying herself.
She was just so completely overwhelmed. With everything. With handling it all on her own. Yes, she was still so incredibly angry and hurt by Gavin’s deception. But most of all she missed him. After all he’d done, she still missed him, and his smile, and the way he’d take one of the boys and share the load with the kids and step in and cook dinner if she’d had a crazy day. Maybe his betrayal hurt all the more because in so many ways she’d thought they’d had a strong marriage. A partnership.
She missed his help, missed having someone to talk to at the end of the day, missed having someone to tuck her against his side in bed at night and make her feel secure and safe and not so damned alone. Even though things had been strained during the final months of their marriage, she’d thought they’d work through it. She’d thought it was just the adjustment to having twins and being parents and not having as much time for each other.
Tears were streaming down her face as she went to get Liam, who was snuffling and wiping his eyes with a fist. She took him downstairs so Luke could still sleep, and put him down before she sank into the couch cushions.
He was a year old, couldn’t speak, didn’t understand a bit of why she was upset. But at that moment, he patted her on her knee, lifted his arms for up, and when she picked him up and held him in her arms, he didn’t fuss. He just snuggled in against her chest, tucked his face against the warm curve of her neck and put his pudgy little hand on her cheek.
“I love you, little man,” she said softly, sinking back into the corner of the sofa and folding her legs yoga-style. She turned her head a little and kissed his soft hair, and he patted her cheek with his fingers, a move she knew he found consoling. Like a constant reassurance that she was there. Not going anywhere.
Five minutes later she stretched out her legs, slid down in the cushions and looked down at Liam’s sleeping face.
Safe. Secure. Not alone.
She could provide that for her son. And she was living proof that she could make it on her own. But sometimes she wished someone was there to take away her loneliness, too.
Chapter Four (#ulink_a26f4a13-a7c2-5c26-8cdc-36452f89c134)
The Gibson Christmas tree lighting was a big event. In past years, it had been a simple one-hour community occasion that was decently attended. But this year, with the advent of Snowflake Days, it was bigger and better. As Maddy parked her car in the fire department lot, she was amazed at the crowd already gathered. The lighting wasn’t for another forty minutes.
Her mom was in the passenger seat and her dad was squished in with the boys and their car seats in the back. “Are you guys okay with the stroller and stuff? I didn’t think I’d be needed this early.”
Her mom, Shirley, laughed. “Honey, the boys will be fine. We’ll just sneak a little rum and nutmeg into their milk and...”
“Mom!”
Her dad’s chuckle came from the back. “Maddy, you go. Leave us the keys, though, will you? So we can make sure we have everything and can lock it?”
She nodded and handed over the keys. “No candy canes for the boys, okay? I don’t want them to choke.”
She hopped out of the car and left the diaper bag behind for her parents. No candy canes? Ha. She’d learned one thing about grandparents very quickly. They nodded and agreed and then spoiled kids as soon as Mom’s back was turned. Maddy reminded herself that her mom had raised three kids and they’d all survived. Besides, she was too grateful for the help to say much at all. Since her brothers both lived out of state, she figured that one day she’d be able to repay the favor when her parents got older and needed help.
Cole was at the food donation station already, and he looked up and smiled as she approached. “Hey, there,” he greeted, and she couldn’t help but smile. He was bundled up in a heavy jacket and boots and mittens, but wore a ridiculously plush Santa hat on his head. “Sorry I missed you at the house today. I had errands for the festival and didn’t get back in time.”
“It was no problem. I hope the chili was okay.”
“It was perfect.” He took a bag of food items from one family and thanked them. “Okay. So here’s what I’ve done. Canned goods in one box, paper and cleaning items in another, pasta and rice and all the other stuff in this box. There are extra boxes under the table here if you need them.” He grinned, showing his perfectly white teeth. “And by the looks of this crowd, you’re gonna need them.”
She’d been half happy, half disappointed Cole hadn’t been at the house when she’d dropped by, and when Tanner had come in for lunch she’d kept busy making the chili while he ate rather than sitting and talking. And now she had this overjoyed feeling at seeing Cole again. She was a little embarrassed, bashful when their eyes met, a delicious twirly sensation tumbling in her stomach when she heard his deep voice. She surely wasn’t ready to move on, so why did she constantly feel like a schoolgirl around Cole Hudson? She reminded herself that he tended to have this effect on girls. He always had, even when they were in school. And yet he’d never had the reputation of being a ladies’ man. Not like his brother.
She stepped forward and accepted a grocery bag of donations from a family, finding an assortment of toothpaste, soap and shampoo inside. She put it in the proper box and jumped in surprise when she turned around and Cole put his Santa hat on her head.
“What are you doing?”
“Whoever works the station has to wear the hat,” he decreed.
“I’ve got a knitted one,” she protested, but then realized she’d left it in the diaper bag. With her parents.
“Is it invisible?” he asked.
She smiled at a teenage couple who came over, holding hands, and offered a jar of peanut butter and another of jelly. Cute.
“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” she asked, annoyed. And amused, damn him. She let the hat sit atop her head where he’d awkwardly placed it.
“Sure do. I get to plug in the lights. Let’s hope I don’t have one of those Clark Griswold moments where I plug them in and nothing happens.”
She did laugh at that. Christmas Vacation was one of her favorite holiday movies.
“I don’t want to keep you. Maybe you’d better check each one individually. And definitely make sure they’re twinkling.”
He leaned forward, a devilish look in his eye that made her realize that he and Tanner really did resemble each other. He touched the tip of her nose with his finger. “You are cheeky tonight,” he said, and he winked at her. Winked! “I like it.”
Her lips fell open and she scrambled for a crushing response, but before her brain kicked back into gear, he was gone.
The hat was warm from his head and she tucked it closer around her ears as the crowd grew and the food donation boxes filled. She greeted neighbors and friends, people she knew by sight but not by name by virtue of working in the library, and nearly everyone wished her a merry Christmas. The high school band teacher conducted a few instrument ensembles for background music, the trills of flutes and jazzy notes of saxophones brightening the air. Several feet away the business association, small though it was, had a table set up with cookies from the market and huge urns filled with hot chocolate and mulled cider. The rich, spicy scent was delicious.
At 7:00 p.m. sharp, Cole stood on a podium and got everyone’s attention with a sharp whistle. “Merry Christmas, everyone!” he called out.
Holiday wishes were returned enthusiastically by the crowd, along with clapping.
“I don’t have a microphone, so I’ll keep this short and sweet. Welcome to Gibson’s first ever Snowflake Days! Tonight we’re going to light our tree and sing a few carols and have an all-around good time. Tomorrow there’s a craft sale at the church, and you won’t want to miss it. I heard Gilda Turner’s made her famous fudge.”
There were laughs through the crowd. Gilda was getting close to ninety and every boy and girl who’d grown up in Gibson had, at some point, tasted Gilda’s fudge. There was none like it anywhere.
“And at the library tomorrow afternoon, we’ve got wagon rides for the kids, plus treats and story time. Finally, tomorrow night at the Silver Dollar, we have a dance for the grown-ups. Admission is ten dollars at the door and all the proceeds are going to the playground fund for a new structure to be built in the spring.”
A round of clapping filled the air.
“Now,” he said, his voice echoing over the crowd, “I’m going to turn things over to Ron here—” he nodded to his right “—and we can start the caroling. But first...can we have a drumroll, please?”
Maddy snorted, the scene from Christmas Vacation still in her head. Someone from the band did a roll on the snare and at the moment Cole went to plug the tree into the extension cord, he looked over in her direction, a goofy expression on his face. She half expected him to break out in “Joy to the World.”
Then the tree was lit, all thirty feet of it, top to bottom in beautiful colored lights that reflected off the snowy evergreen tips. A collective ooh sounded, and then clapping, and then the choir director, Ron, took the podium and started the crowd singing “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town.”
Cole jumped off the podium and disappeared into the crowd. Maddy let out a sigh and hummed along with the song. Donations had slowed to a now-and-again occasion, so she tidied the area and packed the boxes more efficiently for delivery. She half expected Cole to show up again, and when he didn’t she pushed down the disappointment. She had no business looking for him. Sure, they’d seen a lot more of each other in the past few weeks, but she shouldn’t make that into anything.
She had to worry about Liam and Luke, and that was all.
At eight o’clock she finally caught sight of him again, coming around the perimeter of the crowd. Things were wrapping up now; the crowd was down to about half, and the hot chocolate and cider were being packed up and the garbage put into bags. She hadn’t even seen her parents or the boys, but she hadn’t heard them fussing, either, so everything must have gone just fine.
“Wow, you’ve got everything ready to go,” Cole remarked as he stepped up to the table. “Once the crowd disperses, I’ll bring the truck down and we can put everything in the back.”
“It was a good turnout, I think.”
“I think so, too.” He grinned at her. “I saw your mom and dad with the boys. They were sound asleep. The boys, I mean,” he added, making her laugh.
“Fresh air and moving in the stroller will do that,” she replied. “Unfortunately for me, that means they’ll probably fight going to bed tonight.”
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