Almost Heaven
Jillian Hart
Nursing a broken heart and wounded spirit, Kendra McKaslin vowed to make a fresh start–alone. But then everything changed when handsome sheriff Cameron Durango showed up at her run-down riding stable to give her some much-needed business.Seeing this honorable lawman again brought all those locked-away memories flooding back. For he alone knew the secret of her past relationship–and she'd always cherish his exquisite kindness during that night when things had gone terribly wrong. Now, as Cameron gathered her in his strong, sheltering arms to offer her love and comfort, the irresistibly charmed small-town girl wondered if having him here was a sign from heaven. Could all of her dreams finally be coming true?
Grief weighed down his soul.
Cameron’s late wife had been gone four years, and the pain of heading home to an empty house still ate at him.
Is that going to change anytime soon, Lord?
The elevator inched to a halt, and the doors whispered open. The outside world beyond the long wall of lobby windows was dark, and he hated the thought of going out in it.
Then he saw Kendra through a glass partition in the far wall. The overhead light haloed her golden hair and caressed her creamy complexion. She looked so lovely.
Cameron supposed it was loneliness that made him look. He missed a woman’s soft and gentle presence in his life. He’d glimpsed plenty of women over the years, but not one of them made him feel as if the world had simply melted away until there was only her.
Kendra didn’t know he was watching as she leaned against the counter, turning to talk to her sister. She sparkled, laughing, tilting back her head to study the array of cheerful balloons floating just out of reach.
Looking heavenward, he couldn’t help thinking the good Lord had just given him his answer….
JILLIAN HART
makes her home in Washington State, where she has lived most of her life. When Jillian is not hard at work on her next story, she loves to read, go to lunch with her friends and spend quiet evenings with her family.
Almost Heaven
Jillian Hart
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
—Corinthians 13:7
Dear Reader,
Thank you for choosing Almost Heaven. It has been my pleasure to return to the McKaslin family and tell another sister’s story. Kendra aches for a family of her own but believes an earlier tragedy will keep her from trusting a man again. Thankfully, Cameron enters her life, a man as stalwart as the Montana mountains. He teaches her an important lesson: that true love is strong enough to heal any wound and bring us into the light.
Wishing you peace and a life filled with love,
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Epilogue
Chapter One
It had been a long, hot day. Exhaustion dulled the edges of Kendra’s vision, but the familiar sight of her hometown fortified her, as it always did. The green of a well-kept park. The neat line of railroad tracks on one side of the main street and the tidy row of old-fashioned buildings on the other. The cheerful awnings of businesses. The friendly neon sign of her family’s coffee shop still burned a bright blue and green in the front window.
She glanced at the clock on the dashboard—thirty-four minutes past four. Maybe she’d stop and beg for food and drink so she wouldn’t have to find something in her practically empty cupboards at home. There was probably a box of her beloved macaroni and cheese, but she lacked the energy and the will to make it.
The brief blast of a siren startled her and she glanced in her side-view mirror. Sure enough, there was a patrol car behind her. Was she speeding? No, the speedometer’s needle was a hair past twenty. If anything she was going too slow.
Maybe the sheriff needed to go around her. Well, she was towing a full four-horse trailer. There was no oncoming traffic. Couldn’t he just pass her?
No, he stayed stubbornly behind her, not looking as if he intended to pass. That must mean he wanted her.
What did she do? Too many cars were parked along the street, so she signaled and crossed the yellow lines to the other side of the road. She hoped that wasn’t illegal or anything, but it wasn’t as if she had a choice.
The patrol car followed her over, lights flashing. Brace yourself, Kendra, here he comes.
The town sheriff stalked toward her. Gun on one hip, his powerful arms held to his sides, he walked with an athlete’s strength and confidence.
Cameron Durango. One of the last men she wanted to be alone with in the universe. Had he always looked this good in his uniform? Why hadn’t she noticed that before?
She was staring at him! And he was likely to notice that. What was wrong with her? She’d given up putting her faith in men a long time ago. It was a done deal, signed, sealed and delivered. A life decision she’d made, and that was that.
The last thing she should be noticing was how striking Cameron looked in his uniform. Get a grip, Kendra. He’s the sheriff. Nothing more. Nothing less. He arrests people. He pulls over perfectly innocent drivers for no reason at all.
His boots crunched in the gravel beside her pickup.
Don’t look at him. “I wasn’t speeding.”
“Hey, Kendra.” He whipped off his hat and the breeze ruffled the dark ends of his military short hair. “How are you doing this fine summer’s day?”
“Hot.”
“Yeah? A fine rig like this ought to have air-conditioning standard, right?”
“Sure, but I’m pulling a full load. I don’t want to overheat the engine.”
“I understand. I’d baby a new truck if I had one. You got this, what, a month ago?”
She stared straight ahead, not wanting to answer. Okay, she wasn’t rude by nature and she felt lame acting that way. But Cameron Durango knew something about her that nobody else did, not even her sisters.
It didn’t matter how fine he looked or how friendly he seemed, he reminded her of things best left forgotten.
Couldn’t he just go?
“Yeah,” she finally said. “That’s why I haven’t been driving around the truck I used to have, the one that kept breaking down on me.”
“Right.” Maybe he got the hint, because he paused, as if debating what to do next. Did he leave? No. He rested his forearms on the door of her truck. “Bet you’re wondering what you did wrong to get me on your tail?”
“No. I wasn’t speeding.” Maybe if she was difficult, he’d leave her alone. Ticket her or whatever he was going to do and be on his way. So she wouldn’t have to remember.
“I was sitting in the shade in my air-conditioning, tucked behind the Town Welcomes You sign, hoping to catch a hoard of speeding tourists and boost the town’s income, when you meander along, driving responsibly and under the limit.”
“You admit it.”
“I noticed you were about to lose a tire on your trailer and decided to leave my shady spot behind to come warn you.”
Was he trying to be friendly? And it bugged her because she didn’t want to like him. It would be way easier if he was going to unjustly ticket her, instead of help her.
She didn’t need his or any man’s assistance. “I’ve got doubles.”
“Still, you’re carrying a heavy load.”
“I checked all the tires before I left the auction.” He was right, and she realized the same thing herself, but was she going to tell him that? No. “Which tire?”
“Back right. Wouldn’t want you to have a blowout or anything. You could get hurt.”
He had kind eyes, dark and deep, and a rugged face. Not classically handsome but chiseled as if made from granite. He had a straight blade of a nose, an uncompromising mouth and a square jaw that gave him an air of integrity.
If he were mean, it would have been much easier not to like him. But he wasn’t. The worst thing about Cameron Durango was that he was a decent guy. He may carry a gun on his hip and look powerful enough to take down a two-hundred-pound criminal with a body blow, but he had a good heart.
Not that you could tell it from the outside.
Don’t think about that night. Cold snaked through her veins, where her heart used to be. If there had been anything redeeming about that horrible night when everything changed for her, it was Cameron’s kindness. He’d been truly kind, when she’d neither wanted it nor needed it.
Remembering, she couldn’t meet his gaze. Staring hard at the steering wheel, she ran her fingertip around the bottom of the rim. Since that night she hadn’t wanted to be alone with any man. Especially Cameron.
“I’ll get that changed. Thanks for letting me know. It was decent of you.”
“I try to be decent when I can. Especially to a pretty lady like you.”
The way he said it wasn’t flirtatious or anything, but he was sounding friendly. It made her start to shake.
She really wanted him to go. “Thanks again.”
But he didn’t leave. “Let me guess. You were at the sale today. The Bureau of Land Management’s auction.”
Was he trying to make small talk? It was probably a slow day for him. Hardly anyone was out and about in this heat, but still. She didn’t know Cameron well and that’s the way she wanted it. Could she be outright rude and tell him so? No.
“I saw the flier—it came to the office. You got wild mustangs back there?”
“Yes.”
She kept staring at her steering wheel. Icy sweat broke out on her palms. This was the way it was whenever she was alone with any man near her age.
Would it always be this way? Prayer had helped her; at least she didn’t shake so hard that he might notice.
“Wow. Mind if I take a peek at them?”
Oh, so he was interested in the horses. Kendra relaxed a little but the quaking didn’t stop. “Sure. Just be careful. They’re not used to people yet.”
“I’ll just look.” His grin was in his voice.
Kendra’s gaze flashed to the side mirror where he was ambling away, his boots striking the dirt at the side of the road with a muffled rhythm.
With his spine straight and shoulders squared, he looked invincible. Undefeatable. Like everything honest and good and all-American. Just as he’d been for her, a calm strength when the world was smashing apart around her.
Get a grip, Kendra. That night was a long time ago. It isn’t worth thinking about. Jerrod was gone and a part of the past. Look forward, not back.
Cameron crunched through the gravel as he returned. “Those are some fine-looking animals you got.”
“Thanks.” She appreciated Cameron’s help, but now she knew about the tire. She would fix it and be on her way—once he was on his. “I don’t want to hold you up. I know you have speeders to catch and tickets to write.”
“Are you trying to get rid of me?”
Yes. “Here comes a car right now. You might need to check your radar. Could be income for the town.”
He peered in the direction of the luxury sedan creeping down the main street. “Mrs. Greenley? Nah, she’s driving under the limit, like she always does. I’ve clocked her for the better part of the six years I’ve worked in this town and never caught her speeding once. The town is safe from rampaging, careless drivers for a few more seconds, it looks like.”
“You can never be too sure. You go back to your speed trap and I’ll take care of the tire.”
“Afraid I can’t let you do that, Kendra.” Cameron planted his hands on his hips, emphasizing the power in his arms and the gun on his hip. “This is my jurisdiction, ma’am, and I believe there’s an ordinance that states I must aid stranded motorists in my town or suffer serious consequences.”
Her left eyebrow shot up. “You’re kidding.”
“Would I do that?” Absolutely. There wasn’t any such ordinance, but he wasn’t about to tell her that? “If I don’t make sure your vehicle’s safe to drive in this town, I’d be breaking my own laws.”
“What laws?”
“The ones that say I’d have to write myself a ticket.”
“Go ahead. I don’t mind.”
“I would.” He had her, he knew it by the twinkle in her pretty eyes. “Might even have to throw myself in jail and that’s not how I want to spend my day.”
“So, why would I care? I’m perfectly capable of changing the tire.”
“Yeah, but I have a flawless record. Not a single infraction to date. You wouldn’t want my reputation besmirched, would you?”
“Sure I would.”
Humor tugged at the corners of her soft, lush mouth. Cam felt some pride about that. Kendra McKaslin might look cool and unapproachable, but she seemed like a real nice lady.
He’d been trying to approach her for the last few months, but he had a lot of questions about horses. He didn’t know where to start. He didn’t want to look like a dummy. After all, a man had his pride.
But Kendra didn’t strike him as someone who’d made anyone feel dumb. She seemed as sweet as spring, with her long blond hair shimmering down her back like liquid gold in the sunlight. She’d grown up in one of the wealthier families in their humble valley, but was she snooty?
No. Down to earth, filled with common sense, Kendra was country-girl goodness soul-deep. He could feel it. He’d watched her kindness to her horses every time she’d ridden one of them into town on an errand to the store or to visit her family’s coffee shop.
She appeared to be real good with the animals. Everyone said she was the best in the area when it came to horsemanship. But he hadn’t gotten up his courage to talk to her.
Now was his chance. “I know you’re an independent kind of woman. You’re more than capable of changing that tire on your own.”
“So why are you still standing here?” The hint of her smile grew into a real one.
“I’ve got an election coming up. What would folks think if they see you stranded here in obvious need of help—”
“Stranded? I don’t think so!”
“Still, they’ll watch me drive off and leave you behind and draw their own conclusions. All folks will see is that their elected official abandoned a woman stuck along the side of the road, slacking off on his duties.”
“Like anyone would think you were a slacker.”
“I can’t risk it. Folks might vote for my opponent come September. I’d lose my job. Won’t be able to pay my bills. You don’t want to be responsible for that, do you?”
“Sure.” There were more sparkles in her pretty blue eyes.
She had a quiet kind of beauty, one that wasn’t only skin-deep.
His chest gave a strange hitch in the vicinity of his heart as he opened the truck’s door for her. That was odd, considering how he hadn’t felt much beside grief since Deb’s death. “Your sister’s sign is still on in the window. Why don’t you go in, say hello and get something cool to drink? Give me twenty minutes and I’ll have this taken care of.”
“That’s not right. It’s my trailer.”
“Yeah, well, it’s a slow day. I don’t see a lot of wild speeders or crime sprees on Thursday afternoons. It’s okay to let me do this, Kendra.”
He could see the argument coming. He’d learned to read people during his fifteen years wearing a badge. He saw a woman used to doing things herself. “If it bothers your conscience, then you can bring a batch of cookies or something by the station. My deputy has a sweet tooth you wouldn’t believe.”
She swept down from the seat with an easy grace that she didn’t seem aware of.
He was. It sure threw him for a loop.
Today she looked summery and girl-next-door fresh in a white tank top, a pair of jean shorts and slip-on tennis shoes. Her blond hair, streaked by time in the sun, was tied back in a long ponytail. She slipped her sunglasses from the top of her head onto her nose and circled around the rig to look at the damage.
“I think my spare went flat.” She said it wearily, more to herself than to him. Probably expecting some kind of reprimand.
Why would he do that? Didn’t a woman who worked hard to make her own living deserve a break? He sure thought so. “Zach’s at his garage. I’ll take the tire over for him to patch.”
“He’s my brother-in-law, and I can do it.”
“Toll House, no walnuts. I have a soft spot for butterscotch chips.
He left her standing there, watching him with a slack jaw as he yanked the jack from his cruiser’s trunk. “I’m helping you, no matter what. Just accept it.”
“I should help you.”
“Why? It would make me look bad. I’ve got my public image to think about. Voters care about that kind of thing.”
He didn’t care about his image, he worked hard to do the right thing and he was proud of his record. He had time, and in helping her maybe he’d find a way to approach her. Ask her professional opinion. “I’m not taking no for an answer. Your only option is to let me do my job.”
She studied him and the jack he was carrying and the nearly flat tire. “Fine. Thank you. The horses—”
“Will be fine. I’ve done this before.”
“Okay.”
She didn’t sound happy, but Cameron bet that she’d let him do it. He wasn’t about to budge, he’d been waiting for this chance forever, that’s what it felt like. If he had a choice, then he’d want her to stay and watch so they could talk while he worked.
He knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t hang around. She kept her distance from men, not just him, and with good reason.
He felt her sadness every time he was around her. Now maybe he was imagining it, because he’d been there to arrest Jerrod Melcher, and he saw how bad she’d been hurt. That was likely to make any woman wary about men for a long time.
It was understandable.
As he watched her cross the road, jaywalking, heading straight to her family’s coffee shop, a streak of pain jabbed through his heart. A widower was used to feeling a certain amount of pain down deep, but this was something different. Something that felt a lot like longing.
One thing was for sure. When Kendra looked at him, she didn’t feel any positive emotion. Not a chance. When she looked at him she remembered that night. He could feel that, too.
Perhaps he should just leave her alone. Ask Sally at the Long Horn Stables for help instead.
Frustrated, he got to work.
It was her trailer, she ought to be dealing with it. But that stubborn sheriff had refused to leave, so what was she going to do? Stand there and make small talk? She didn’t need his help and she was getting it anyway. It ate at her as the bell over the coffee shop’s door jangled.
The welcome breeze from the air-conditioning skimmed over her, but it didn’t cool her anger. Men were bossy, every one of them. Who did the sheriff think he was that he could just do what he wanted to her trailer?
Face it, you appreciate that he’s helping.
Sure, but it still bugged her. She was hot, exhausted, and dealing with a flat tire in over hundred-degree weather would have put her over the edge. Well, at least close to it.
Because of Cameron, she was able to rest for a few minutes instead of dealing with one more disaster in a doom-filled day. She didn’t want to be grateful to him. But she was.
See why it was a good idea to stay far away from men? Even the nice ones?
“Kendra? You look too hot, are you all right?” Gramma sat at the far end of the otherwise empty room, behind one of the cloth-covered tables. Ignoring her spread of papers and her open laptop, she examined Kendra over the lines in her bifocals. “Something is wrong. Why are you back so soon?”
“I’m fine and it’s past closing time.” Kendra flicked off the neon sign and turned the Open sign in the window to Closed. “How long have you been in here slaving over the bookkeeping?”
“Goodness, let me see.” She checked her gold wristwatch. “For much longer than I thought!”
“You lose track of time when you’re doing the books. I do the same thing.”
“I suppose so!” Gramma took off her glasses and wiped them on the corner hem of her stylish summer blouse. “I’ve lost two dollars and seventy cents I can’t find anywhere. I’d just finish the deposit and say, forget it. But it’ll be all I think about when I get home. Come, dear, sit down. You look as though you’ve got too much sun.”
“No need to fuss, I’m fine. I’m going to raid the kitchen and pray there are some leftovers in the fridge. I’m too beat to cook when I get home.”
“I knew it. You work too hard, sweetie. You can’t work every minute of every day.”
“I take a few minutes off now and then.”
“Don’t sass me, young lady. You’ve been skipping meals.”
“Not intentionally.”
Kendra ducked into the kitchen to avoid the lecture. She knew what was coming when Gramma got started. She loved her grandmother within an inch of her life, but how Gramma fussed! Kendra yanked open the industrial refrigerator and studied the contents. Jackpot!
Gramma’s sandals tapped on the floor, announcing her approach to the kitchen.
“I can do it myself.” Kendra pulled a bowl of chicken salad from the top shelf. “Do you want me to make you a sandwich, too?”
“Me? You’re the one needing to eat. Give me that. Where’s the mayonnaise?”
“I said I’d do it and I meant it.” Kendra wrapped her grandmother into a hug and breathed in the honeysuckle sweetness of her perfume. “You’ve had a long day, and you don’t need to make it longer by doing one single thing for me. You work too much.”
“I’ve got good help. The girls I’ve hired this summer have been a real blessing. There’s the macaroni salad you like in the bottom shelf. No, let me get it.”
Kendra snatched the big stainless-steel bowl from the shelf. “Out. Go back to your table. Shoo!”
“Nice try, but I wrote the book on bossy.” Gramma dug through the pantry and came up with a wrapped loaf of homemade bread. “We’ll both fix us something to eat while you tell me about your new horses.”
“You’re a tricky woman, Gramma.”
“Thanks, dear, I try. Hand me the serrated knife.”
Kendra did as she was asked and found two plates while she was digging through the dishwasher. “I won the bid for the prettiest mustangs I’ve gotten yet. One is as wild and mean as a bull, but the others have potential.”
“You bought a mean horse?” Gramma’s disapproval wreathed her soft, lovely face, as she cut thick slices of wheat-nut bread. “Is that safe?”
“He’s a stallion.”
“I don’t like the sound of that! Not at all. Boarding and training horses is one thing. But a stallion? How will you handle him? And he’s wild, to boot!”
“I have a little tiny eensy-beensy bit of experience with horses, remember?” Kendra twisted open the jar of mayo. “I’ve been riding since before I could walk.”
“I didn’t approve of that, either, the way your father would put you and your sisters on the backs of horses when you were nothing but toddlers!” Gramma’s eyes twinkled, though. “He must be a good-looking horse, if you bought him.”
“He’s a beauty. Bright chestnut coat. Perfect white socks. A long black mane and tail. And his lines…he’s got some Arabian in him.” Kendra sighed. “Of course, he gives new meaning to the word wild. I’m sure I can tame him, so don’t start worrying. I haven’t been killed by a horse yet.”
“Heavens, I should hope not! You do have a way with them. I don’t doubt that.” Gramma bit her lip as she layered meat mixture and cheese on a slice of bread. As if she were thinking better of saying anything more.
Kendra whipped the knife from her grandmother’s hand. “You go sit down. I’ll finish this up and bring you a cup of iced tea to the table. Go. Away with you.”
“You’re getting just as bossy as me. I like that.” Planting a kiss on Kendra’s cheek, she left the kitchen without further complaint.
That wasn’t like Gramma at all, but Kendra was too exhausted to dwell on it. She put away the sandwich makings, grabbed two bottles of iced tea from the case, shouldered through the swinging doors and into the silent shop.
With the wide bank of windows along the end wall, she had a perfect view of Cameron. He was rolling the tire across the street, apparently whistling as he went, looking like a hero in his navy-blue uniform.
“That Durango boy’s helpin’ you out, I see,” Gramma commented as she tapped keys on her computer. “Funny that you’d let a man do something like that for you.”
“Don’t go reading something into it that’s not there.”
“Is something there?”
How many times had they discussed this? “I’m not going to get married, you know. Ever. So don’t start getting your hopes up. The truth is, I’m so tired I can barely pick up my feet and Cameron offered to help me. He helps with this kind of thing all the time.”
“Which kind of thing would that be? A tire low on air? Or helping a very pretty eligible woman?” Gramma’s eyes twinkled as if she knew something Kendra didn’t.
“If you’re going to torture me about this, I’m taking my food and I’m leaving.” Kendra said it lightly, but she meant it.
The impenetrable titanium walls around her heart were sealed shut. They were going to stay locked tight. “I’m not interested in Cameron.”
“Then why, sweetie, is he fixing that tire for you?”
“Because he’s a sheriff and I had a long day in the hot sun and no lunch.”
She took a big bite of her sandwich to prove it.
“Fine. All right. I believe you.” She held up her hands helplessly. “You can’t blame a poor grandmother for hoping.”
“Oh, yes I can!”
“Only three of my granddaughters are married and have given me perfect grandchildren. There’s no crime in wanting more. Marge’s youngest girl married just last year and had a new baby boy last week. That makes for four grandchildren for her. I’ve got to keep up.”
Kendra rolled her eyes, her mouth too full to speak. What was the point? As if Gramma listened anyway. She had her definite opinions and nothing short of laser fire was going to change her mind.
“Cameron is certainly a good man, isn’t he? He’s so nice and courteous. Everyone raves on about what a fine sheriff he’s been.”
“Yes, I’m sure he’ll be reelected. Now, can we change the subject?”
“Look how handsome he is in his uniform. I have a weakness for men in uniforms myself. The first time I saw your grandfather in his dress blues…it does make a girl feel safe, doesn’t it?”
“Stop.” Laughter escaped anyway. How could she be mad at her grandmother who so obviously loved the idea of marriage and happily-ever-afters?
But it wasn’t for everyone. It even said so in the Bible. God chose different paths for everyone and some women were meant to be married and mothers.
She wasn’t. It hurt, but there wasn’t anything she could do to change the direction her life had taken.
It wasn’t as if she were alone.
Look at the blessings the good Lord had placed in her life. Her grandmother, her parents, her sisters, her friends and her horses. How many people actually got to do what they loved for a living? She’d always wanted her own riding stable, and that’s what she had. She wasn’t going to complain about her life. Not now. Not ever.
“Oh, where are the books off? This is the most aggravating thing on earth. Who invented bookkeeping, anyway? Whoever he is, he’s a very bad man.” Gramma’s frustration was good-natured as she held up her hand and gave the computer a death-ray glare. “I should just quit, but it’ll keep bothering me if I do.”
“You’re just tired. Let me take a peek.” Kendra pulled the ledger so it faced her. “It’s probably just a transposition.”
“You are simply a wonder, my dear. Thank you.”
As she ate, Kendra squinted at the numbers and tried to make her eyes focus. Minutes ticked by as she studied the long row of numbers and paired them against the deposit slip. It had to be a coincidence that she’d chosen a seat that faced the windows, right? She wouldn’t pick this spot on purpose because she had a perfect view of Cameron Durango kneeling in the hot sun, working alongside Zach, her brother-in-law, who must have come over to help.
He may be handsome and kind and dependable, sure, but the steel doors around her heart stayed locked.
“Where are the checks?” Kendra tore her gaze from the window and noticed her grandmother’s eyes were sparkling, as if she’d noticed where Kendra’s gaze kept straying. “Oh, I get it. You think I’m interested in the sheriff.”
“Oh, no. Of course not.” She was the perfect face of innocent grandmotherly denial. “I was just thinking what a blessing it is that God sends us what we need when we need it most.”
“And that cryptic comment means…”
“Oh, nothing about Cameron coming to help you when you needed it, of course. Heavens, no! I was referring to you walking through the door when I was ready to give up in frustration. The checks are here, in the bank bag.”
Kendra waited while her grandmother slid the small dark bag across the table. Liar. Whether Gramma admitted it or not, she wasn’t fooled one bit.
Why argue about it? There was no point. Her grandmother would come to understand in time and to accept Kendra’s choices in life.
Cameron Durango, no matter how striking and protective and capable he looked in his uniform, would never be one of her choices.
Why did that make her sad? She decided her barricades were weakening, probably because she was still so tired and hungry.
See? A girl needed to keep up her strength so she wasn’t susceptible to random, pointless emotions. It was pointless to feel sad about what could never be made right.
She bit into the second half of her sandwich and went to work comparing the thick pile of checks against the deposit slip.
Chapter Two
“Here’s your problem, Gramma. It’s right here. You’ve transposed a check amount on the deposit slip.” Kendra grabbed the nearby pen and made the corrections. “There. That should do it.”
“Wonderful! My dear, what would I have done without you?”
“You’d have found it without my help. I—”
The bell above the door jingled.
Cameron. She didn’t need to turn around to know it was him. She felt his presence as surely as the current of August heat radiating through the opened door.
Why was she so aware of this man she hardly knew, as if he’d reached out and laid his hand on her arm? It was odd. She’d never felt this before with him or with anyone.
The door clicked shut, and he stood in the direct blast of the air-conditioning vent. Hat off, eyes closed, his head tilted back in appreciation. He seemed to be enjoying the icy draft as it ruffled his short, dark hair.
“That sure cooled me down.” He clutched his hat in his big, capable hands. There was a streak of grease across the backs of his broad knuckles. “Good afternoon, Helen.”
“Sheriff.” Gramma’s pleasure warmed her voice. “It’s good to see you. Come in and cool down. Kendra will get you something to drink.”
“Oh, I will?”
Leave it to her grandmother to try to matchmake. As if it would do any good. And poor Cameron. He was struggling to be elected, and he had to be desperate if he wanted to change her tire in this heat. He shouldn’t have to keel over from heat stroke because of it.
The chair groaned in the joints as she stood, although it could have been her knees, but she didn’t want to think about the creaks in her joints since she’d turned thirty. Her tennies squeaked on the clean floor as she put as much distance between her and Cameron as she could.
“Iced tea or soda?”
“One of those flavored teas would do just fine.” Cameron followed her, as if he wasn’t about to let her escape until he had her vote. Surely that’s what this was all about.
She wasn’t so sure when she turned around, with the cool metal handle in hand, and didn’t notice the icy draft from the refrigeration unit. He was behind her, and this time she didn’t tremble. She fizzed, like those carbonated bubbles in a glass of cola. She felt bubbly down deep in her soul.
“Lemon-flavored, if you’ve got it.” His voice came warm, deep and as inviting as ever.
The bubbles inside her fizzed upward and she felt lighter than air. As if her soul turned upside down and wasn’t sad anymore. How wrong was that? Get a grip, girl.
She handed him the squat bottle. “Anything else?”
“This is all I need.” He didn’t move away as he covered the mouth of the bottle with his wide palm and twisted the cap. “Zach lent a hand, too, so we did double-time getting it done. You’re all set.”
“Thanks, Sheriff.”
“Cameron. I’ve loosened your lug nuts, I think we ought to be on a first-name basis.”
“Aren’t you funny?”
“I try to be. I get that way when I’m sugar-deprived.”
“I can take a hint. You want more of a reward for a job well done? My vote isn’t enough.”
“I could use a snack.”
Was it her imagination, or was he trying to be charming? “Does the town council know what you’re up to?”
“Why? I’m doing nothing wrong. Every cop has the civil right to doughnuts. Or those amazing chocolate cookies your grandmother makes if you happen to have any lying around taking up too much space on your shelves.”
He was definitely trying to be nice. It was hard to shoot down a man complimenting Gramma’s baking. Maybe that was one way to win elections. What did she know about politics?
“It’s your lucky day.” Kendra spied two chocolate cookies left over from the day’s sales, looking lonely on the pastry shelf below the hand-off counter. “Could you do us a favor and take them off our hands?”
“I reckon I could try. Helping the lovely ladies of this town is my beholden duty.”
He sure must want to be reelected, since he was trying so hard. As if he had any real competition anyway. From what everyone said, he’d been one of the best sheriffs the town had ever had. She grabbed the two cookies with a slice of waxed paper and handed them over.
He had a nice smile. Not flashy or too wide, but honest and easy. Sincere. “My stomach thanks you. Helen, every time I see you zipping around in that little red convertible of yours, I think I’ve got to get me one of those.”
“Nah, you’re too stodgy, young man.” Gramma teased as she zipped up the bank’s deposit bag. “You’re better off in that sensible SUV you drive.”
“You’re making me sound middle-aged, Helen. I don’t appreciate that.”
“It’s not my fault you’re stuffy.” Laughing, Gramma slipped the laptop into her shoulder bag and, clutching the deposit, she headed for the door. Much faster than usual.
“Gramma, where are you off to in such a hurry?”
“The bank.”
“It’s already closed.”
As if she’d temporarily gone deaf, Gramma didn’t answer, just smiled sweetly as she backed through the doorway. “You keep up the good work, young man. It’s reassuring to see a man who knows responsibility.”
Her grandmother tossed Kendra a knowing wink before snapping the door shut with a final jangle of the bell. That matchmaker!
“What was that about?” Cameron looked puzzled, which proved he couldn’t be the best detective.
“It wasn’t obvious? My other sisters are married off and providing her with grandchildren, so she’s trying to find me a husband, I guess. Sorry about that.” Kendra rolled her eyes as she grabbed her half-full bottle from the table.
“Hey, I understand. My grandmother is the same way. She asked me for years every time I saw her, which was every Sunday for church, why I couldn’t find a nice girl and settle down.” He ambled toward the door, talking conversationally.
The good-natured banter lifted a weight from her shoulders. Cameron was no threat. He was simply making conversation. He’d treated Gramma the same exact way.
More at ease, she followed him and dug in her shorts pocket for her keys. “So, how did you handle your grandmother?”
“I informed her that if I could find a nice girl, then I would marry her. The problem is finding a woman who’s interested in me.”
“Sure, I can see why that’s a problem.” Dependable man, handsome and fit and went out of his way to help others. She locked up and tested the lock—sometimes it was tricky.
“Once she saw it from a prospective bride’s viewpoint, she stopped bothering me. She wouldn’t want to inflict any nice girl with a husband like me.”
“There’s more to life than having a ring on your hand, that’s for sure.”
Was it a lie if you wanted to mean what you said, even if it wasn’t the truth? Kendra wondered as she loped down the steps and crossed the street.
“Sure,” he agreed, keeping stride with her.
Was it marriage she was against, or the fear of trusting a man that much?
They’d reached his cruiser. “You should be safe to drive home.”
“Thanks again, Cameron. You have a good evening.” She strode around the back of the trailer, jingling her keys in the palm of her hand as she went, blond hair blowing in a long silken ponytail behind her.
Cameron bit into a cookie as he waited by his cruiser to make sure she got on her way all right. Chocolate broke apart in his mouth, as rich as cake and made richer with sweet chunks of milk chocolate.
It almost soothed away his disappointment as Kendra’s truck engine rolled over with an easy hum. Taillights winked on and the right blinkers flashed. She eased out into the empty street leaving only tire marks and a hint of dust in the air.
That didn’t bode too well, man. She was sure quick to get rid of him. Not that he’d come across as an intelligent future customer. No, he’d yakked on about his re-election when what he should have done was ask her about the boarding fees at her stable.
Seeking refuge inside the car, he started the engine and flicked the air-conditioning on high. Not even the second chocolate cookie made him feel better.
Maybe some things weren’t meant to be. And if they were, then wouldn’t the Lord present him with another chance?
He was upset, and it wasn’t only about the questions he didn’t ask Kendra. He’d fibbed when she’d asked how he’d handled his grandmother’s desire for him to marry. His nana was a fine woman, a real lady, and she worried about him being alone.
The truth was, he’d lost his heart when he buried his wife. He’d lived in darkness ever since her passing. His grieving was done, but the loneliness remained.
He’d loved being married. If he could find a woman that filled him up like sunlight, that made him alive again, well, wouldn’t that be something? Did true love happen twice in a lifetime?
He’d leave that answer up to the Lord. In the meantime, his workday was done. There was nothing else to do but go home. He would face the lonely house and the silent kitchen as he did every night and make a tuna-fish sandwich for supper while he listened to the world news.
Alone.
Alone. Finally. Kendra collapsed on her secondhand couch and let the window unit pummel her with blessed, cold air. Her fat tabby cat meowed a weak protest from the top of the cushion, but his demand for more treats was the last one in a long list.
She’d done everything. The new horses were in the paddock, the stalls in the stables were cleaned, the horses fed and watered, the trailer hosed out. She’d returned messages, paid a few bills and checked on a pregnant mare.
The cat’s meow was louder.
“Pounce, can you wait two minutes? Just two? I don’t think I can move.”
Meow.
“The treats are on the other end table. I can’t reach them from here.”
Apparently tired of her excuses, the twenty-pound orange tabby leaped off the top of the cushion and onto Kendra’s stomach.
“Okay, I’ll get the treats.” Laughing, she rubbed the cat’s head, as he purred. The shrill ring of the phone had her reaching for the cordless handset tossed in the mess on the coffee table. “This had better be good.”
“Ooh, it is!” It was her littlest sister Michelle, trembling with excitement. Not that Michelle was all that little now that she was grown-up and married. “We’re all on our way to the hospital. Karen was admitted about thirty minutes ago.”
“She’s having the baby?” Excitement must have reenergized her, because Kendra found the will to stand up, carrying Pounce as she crossed the room. “Did you need a ride or is your hubby there?”
“Brody’s locking up right now… Oops, I gotta go. He’s dragging me to the front door.” Michelle was laughing. “See you at the hospital!”
Another niece or nephew to welcome into their family! Kendra tossed the phone onto the cushions to worry about later. She was going to be an aunt—again. She had to hurry. She had to drive. She needed caffeine. Good thing she’d made a pitcher of sun tea yesterday.
A swift brush along her ankles reminded her of her primary mission. The cat led the way to the treat bag and his demanding meow left no doubt. He was annoyed with her.
“I know, that phone was more important than you. I’m sorry, buddy.” She gave him an extra treat, rubbed his head while he purred gratefully and made the long journey of about seven steps into the small galley kitchen.
Okay, so she hadn’t done all her chores today. Bypassing the counter of dirty dishes, she rummaged through the back of the cupboard until she found a clean cup, dumped some sugar in for good measure and went in search of her keys.
Where were they? The cat was no help, as he was settling on his cushion in front of the air conditioner and couldn’t be bothered with lowly human dilemmas.
“Found ’em!” On the floor beneath her tennies. “Bye, Pounce!”
The cat managed a disdainful frown, which Kendra took to mean he’d miss her.
Twilight was creeping into the long shadows as she started her truck, but that didn’t provide any relief from the heat. No. At least she wasn’t towing a trailer, so she punched up the air-conditioning. The sinking sun blazed bright orange and magenta in her rear and side-view mirrors, tailing her as she headed to Bozeman.
The sun had set in a lavender hush by the time she pulled into the hospital parking lot, found an available space as close to the front doors as she could manage and climbed out into the coming darkness.
“Kendra, is that you?” A man’s voice rumbled behind her.
Her keys tumbled through her fingers and crashed to the pavement at her feet. She recognized his deep, warm baritone instantly. Smooth move, Kendra. “Cameron. What are you doing here?”
“Startling you. Here, let me.” He knelt and retrieved her keys.
It was gentlemanly of him. If he hadn’t spoken first, she might not have realized it was him right off. She was used to seeing him in his navy-blue uniform. Tonight he wore a simple T-shirt and jeans, belted at his lean hips, and scuffed boots.
He straightened to his full six feet and held her key ring on the wide palm of his hand. “I’ve come to your rescue again.”
“I guess. If you hadn’t come along when you did, I’d have been in a real dilemma, being unable to pick up my own keys.”
“See? Glad I could be of service.”
“And just what are you doing here anyway? Following me?”
“You’d have noticed in your rearview if I had. Nope, my pager went off halfway through my supper. Big wreck on the highway.”
She’d taken the back road to Bozeman, not the highway. “Was anyone hurt?”
“A tire blew out, and the driver was injured. It was the father of a family on their summer vacation.”
“Will he be all right?”
“Broke his leg. He’ll be spending the night in the hospital, so I told him I’d make sure his wife and kids get settled into a hotel room. During tourist season, you don’t know the strings I had to pull for that one.”
“That was decent of you.”
“Yeah? Well, I try not to be such a bad guy, considering I wear a badge and give people tickets.”
“I’ve heard you cops have unfair quotas to fill.”
“Pressure of being a cop.” His smile broke wide, showing a row of straight even white teeth and a hint of a dimple. “Why do I have the pleasure of running into you on this fine evening?”
“I’m about to become an aunt again.”
“Congratulations.” He fell in step beside her. “That’s hard work, becoming an aunt.”
“Yeah, I have it much harder than Karen. I have to shop in the gift store. I have to sit and wait in those uncomfortable chairs.”
“There must be an unspoken but ironclad law in hospital administration that states they can only allocate funds for the most uncomfortable chairs on the planet. They would have to buy them on purpose. There’s no way they could find those chairs by chance.”
“There’s an administrator somewhere in this building who has better job security because of it.”
The lobby was quiet this time of evening. To Kendra’s surprise Cameron stayed by her side as they wound their way to the elevators. He punched the Up button.
An uncomfortable silence stretched between them while they both watched the lit numbers move up and not down in their direction.
What did she say now? She was horrible at making small talk.
A janitor rolled his cart into sight and ambled to the far corner of the lobby. He began washing windows.
Cameron broke the silence. “Did you get your horses all tucked in for the night?”
“Yep.”
“That had to be tough. They can’t be used to being cooped up in a trailer.”
“No, but I’ve worked with a lot of horses over the years. I sweet-talked them.”
Cam could see it in his mind as the doors parted and he followed Kendra inside the elevator. Her gentle words and gentle hands, her quiet ways that told those frightened animals only good things were going to happen to them while they were in her care.
See? He’d asked the Lord for another chance and this was it. He had Kendra alone. Trapped, as it were, in the elevator with him. Folks probably asked her advice all the time.
So just do it. He punched the floor button and leaned against the wall. The car zipped upward, reminding him he had only so much time. “Say, how much does it cost if someone wanted to board a horse at your place?”
Her pretty eyes widened. Had he surprised her that much? She unzipped her good-size purse and started digging through the contents. “It depends. I think I have a price list in here. There are different rates depending on the level of care you want and size stall, feeding plans, training and exercising, that kind of thing.”
Her hair was unbound, and it was full of light, falling to cover her face as she rummaged past a worn leather wallet and a glasses case. He took his time looking his fill, while she was busy and wouldn’t notice him gawking at her.
She was prettiest this close, he decided. He could see the scatter of light freckles across her nose and cheeks, probably brought out by the summer sun, on skin golden brown and as smooth as satin.
“Here it is.”
He jerked his gaze to the floor at her scuffed white sneakers, as if he hadn’t been looking anywhere else.
The rattle of paper drew his attention. He straightened up, all business. It was hard holding back his emotions, but he was a disciplined man with a plan. He admired the cut of her hands, slender and suntanned, callused from her work, with neat short nails painted a shimmering pink.
It dawned on him that she was waiting for him to take the neat brochure. “Uh, thanks.”
“I didn’t know you had a horse.”
He opened the trifolded lavender paper and stared at numbers that made no sense. His brain couldn’t seem to work right. He couldn’t believe what he was about to do. Don’t back out now, man.
He cleared the nerves from his throat before he spoke. “I don’t. Yet.”
Now there was a dazzling show of his mastery of the language.
She didn’t seem to notice. If she did, then she managed to keep her pity for his sorry conversational skills to a minimum. Her voice was as warm as her smile. “You can ask me if you have any questions.”
“Or I could just pull you over the next time you drive through town.”
“Aren’t you funny? Abusing your power as an authority figure.” She teased him in return—she couldn’t help it—as the doors opened to the maternity wing. “Have a good night, Cameron.”
“You, too. Congratulations on becoming an aunt again.”
He was gone; the doors slid shut before she could answer, leaving her alone. The chug and chink of the elevators echoed in the quiet. She turned around, eyes down because she knew what was ahead of her.
The viewing window of the nursery where newborns slept tucked tight in their blankets and beds, their dear button faces either relaxed in slumber or screwed up in misery as they cried. A nurse was lifting one tiny unhappy baby into her arms as Kendra passed by.
Don’t look. Keep moving.
Her feet refused to work, leaving her trapped in front of the window. It hurt to look. It hurt not to look. She admired the tiny babies, their perfectly formed miniature hands, their sweet faces, and envied their lucky parents.
How was it possible to feel happy and sad at the same moment? Happy for the precious new babies and sad because she would never have one of her own.
How could she? She wasn’t ever going to date. Never going to marry. Never trust a man that much.
There would be no babies for her.
The grief struck her as it always did like a boxer’s blow to her sternum. It was her choice, her decision. She couldn’t complain. She wouldn’t feel sorry for herself, but when would this consuming longing end?
She turned away before the ache within her could crescendo. Before regret and loss could swallow her whole.
Her sisters were waiting beyond those imposing double doors. Why were her feet dragging? What was holding her back?
It was hard to face how different her life was, from what she’d always thought it would be. That’s what. She’d wanted to be a wife and a mother. A horse-woman, yes, but, oh, to be truly and deeply loved by a good man. To have her own children to love and nurture. What could be more important than that?
Don’t think about what might have been. She closed her eyes, hoped the Lord would help her find the strength to face her family behind those doors without feeling sorrow over the what-ifs in her life. As hard as it was to see what she might have had, she was truly happy for her sisters and their families. To the depth of her soul.
It wasn’t as if she was alone. She was an aunt; she would always have children in her life. She would count the wonderful blessings the Lord had given her.
Not dwell on the ones missing.
She squared her shoulders, forced every piece of grief from her heart. She was ready. Behind that door were her sisters and their husbands and their children. Her warm extended family she loved with all her being.
She refused to feel sad, not tonight. Not when there was so much to celebrate. So much to be grateful for.
Cameron couldn’t stop thinking about the brochure he’d folded and tucked into his shirt pocket. His mind was half on it all during the time he made sure Mr. Anderson had what he needed for the night. Those prices were reasonable. Better than what he’d expected.
I can do this. Excitement zoomed through him as he gave Anderson the number of the hotel his family was staying at. Optimism gave him extra zing as he punched the elevator call button and waited for an empty car in the quiet hush of the corridor.
Money had been tight for a long time, what with Debra’s medical costs and funeral expenses, and selling their house, he’d had to come up with the cash to pay for the closing. He’d worried that buying a horse might be a much more expensive proposition than he could afford, now that his finances were evening out.
The elevator doors opened, the empty car waiting to take him downstairs. He hit the Lobby button and pulled out the brochure as the elevator descended, clicking off the floors.
It had been a long, hard road taking care of Deb, not as hard as the road she walked with her illness. It nearly killed him having to say goodbye to her. Faith saw him through that tough time and after. He’d only been existing, not living. How did a man live with only half of a heart?
Memories tugged him back in time, when he and Deb were newlyweds. Their budget was tight. It had to be. She was finishing up her legal-assistant course at the technical college while he was hoofing it through the academy. Part-time jobs kept them in a small one-bedroom apartment not far from the campus in Bozeman. They had to work to make ends meet, but Deb had made it fun. She was so easy to laugh with. They laughed all the time.
He missed that. He missed the dreams they would talk about over doing the dishes by hand in the cramped kitchen. Deb wanted a sprawling house just out of town, so she could see trees instead of neighbors.
He’d wanted enough land to graze a horse or two on. She’d liked that idea, and wove more dreams of how it would be when times were better, riding their horses in their fields. What a great life they were going to have. Together.
Grief weighed down his soul.
The elevator inched to a halt and the doors whispered open. The outside world beyond the long wall of lobby windows was dark, and he hated the thought of going out in it.
She’d been gone four years, and the pain of heading home to an empty house still ate at him.
Is that going to change anytime soon, Lord?
Then he saw Kendra through a glass partition in the far wall. The overhead light haloed her golden hair and caressed her creamy complexion. She wore a simple T-shirt and her denim shorts, nothing pretty or fancy or extraordinary, and she looked so lovely.
He supposed it was loneliness that made him look. He missed a woman’s presence in his life. The softness and gentleness, the little bottles all over the bathroom counter… He missed all of it.
It was a puzzle, because he’d seen plenty of women over the years. Not one of them made him feel as if the world had simply melted away until there was only her.
She didn’t know he was watching as she leaned against the counter, turning to talk to her sister. She sparkled, laughing, tilting back her head to study the array of cheerful balloons floating just out of reach.
He couldn’t say why that was, but as he strolled through the automatic doors and out into the parking lot, the night didn’t seem as bleak or as lonely as it had been before.
Chapter Three
Squinting against the bold afternoon sun blinding her through the windshield, Kendra set the emergency brake. Okay, how was she going to do this? The cookies were in the back seat, all ready to go, but her sister was in the passenger seat beside her. Michelle was bound to notice what was going on.
If only she’d had more time! The day following Anna’s birth had been jam-packed with errands and work and visits to the hospital. Mom and baby were coming home this evening, and there was a lot of work still to be done.
She’d been lucky to get the cookies baked. By the time she might get the chance to deliver them again all by herself, they would be beyond stale and as hard as bricks.
Please don’t make a big deal over this, she silently begged Michelle, who was rummaging through her purse looking for her lipstick. Good, she was distracted. “You wait right here where it’s cool. Don’t move a muscle. I’ll be just a second.”
“Wait! Where are you going? I thought those cookies were for us.” Michelle’s hand, holding the found lipstick, rested on the small round bowl of her pregnant belly. “They’re not for us?”
“Nope.”
“I need cookies.”
“Don’t worry. I saved a small plate for you.”
“But—”
Oh, no, here came the questions! Kendra slammed the door shut before Michelle could get out one more word. Not that she’d succeeded in keeping her mission secret. No, if anything, she was simply delaying an explanation.
Michelle was bound to notice what was going on, since she had a perfect view of the office’s front door. She would be pelted with questions on her return as to why she was leaving cookies for the town’s handsome and available sheriff.
Would Michelle believe the truth? Of course not! The truth was too boring. Her lovely sister would see romantic intent in a simple offering of thanks. Kendra would never hear the end of it.
This is what she got for doing the right thing. She heard the buzz of the window being lowered the instant she set foot on the sidewalk.
“Ooh, you’ve got a crush on that new deputy, don’t you?” Michelle sparkled with complete delight. “Sis, you’ve got great taste. What’s his name? Frank? I knew it. I knew the right man for you would come along if we prayed hard enough.”
See? This was exactly the type of thing she was trying to avoid. “I don’t have a crush on anyone.”
“Sure. I understand. You’re doing your civic duty. Thanking the eligible bachelor who protects our town.”
“It’s not like that.”
“Yep, sure, like I understand totally.” Michelle feigned absolute empathy, but there was no mistaking that look on her face. “I’m glad for you, Kendra. You deserve a fine man.”
Kendra opened her mouth to argue, but what would she say? Denial would only make it look like the truth. She loved Michelle for her kind words, but Michelle didn’t know what had happened that night when everything changed.
There’d be no man for her. It was that simple. Kendra had been in love once and it had hurt worse than anything she’d ever known. She’d spent the last half-dozen years picking up the pieces of her life.
She would never give another man that much power over her. She would never trust a man that much. No matter what.
So Michelle could hope all she liked. She could think whatever she wanted. It would not change the facts.
The window buzzed upward, and Kendra could feel Michelle’s elation. Now her entire family was going to hear about this. Yep, she definitely should have delivered the cookies later in the week, stale or not.
There was Cameron’s cruiser, parked neatly against the curb, polished and spotless.
And why was she noticing it? Didn’t she have enough on her mind with the thousand things she had to do next? She needed to clean Karen’s house, catch her up on her laundry and do a thorough grocery shop so her pantry would be well stocked. Then she needed to figure out what was she going to cook tonight for dinner for her entire family. That’s what she ought to be thinking about.
Not noticing that she had a perfect view of Cameron’s desk through the generous front window. And her stomach should certainly not be doing little quakes, as if butterflies were trapped there.
Why was she feeling this way? There was nothing to be anxious about. She intended to say hello, leave the plate on his desk and walk back out. Nothing personal about it. There was nothing personal between them.
Thank the good Lord that’s the way Cameron felt about her, too. It wasn’t as if he thought, as Michelle did, that romance could be blossoming.
Before she could reach for the tarnished brass knob, the door swung open. Cameron, looking fine in his navy-blue uniform, took a step back.
His smile was dazzling. “Come in. I never turn away a woman bringing baked goods.”
“It’s bad form to turn away free food,” a second man’s voice commented from inside the office.
Kendra pushed her sunglasses off her nose and up over her forehead, and the shadows became a burly uniformed man sitting behind a desk in the corner, but she hardly noticed him. Cameron drew her attention as the surprise on his face turned to appreciation.
Appreciation for the cookies, no doubt. She handed him the covered paper plate. “I made a batch with butterscotch chip and my gramma’s famous chocolate-chocolate chips.”
“I don’t think there are enough words to thank you.” Cameron took the plate eagerly and ripped off the foil. “Frank, you’ve got to try these chocolate cookies. They sell them over at the coffee shop.”
“Try them? Already have. I’m addicted to them.”
“Your grandmother could charge ten bucks for a single cookie and folks would still buy two.” Cameron snatched a cookie and took a bite.
“Ma’am, we sure do appreciate this.” The deputy chose a chocolate cookie from the plate. “I’ll just leave you two alone. I’ve got a report to file, uh, in the back room.”
There was no back room. Cameron appreciated Frank’s efforts, though, as the deputy disappeared into the storage closet, where they kept their coats and their spare office supplies.
That Frank was quick on the uptake. He saw right off that Kendra was the kind of woman a man wanted to be alone with instead of making small talk while other people watched.
“I hear your sister had her baby. A girl.” Cameron held the plate out, offering her a cookie.
Kendra shook her head, declining the offer. “I have another beautiful niece. I’m pretty lucky, being an aunt. It’s much better than being a parent, because I get all the snuggles and fun and I get to buy presents, but I don’t have the sleepless nights and all the work that goes with it.”
“Sounds like a good deal.” Cameron wondered at the false brightness he saw on Kendra’s face. A face that had small crinkles in the corners of her eyes, marks of character that he found attractive. Hers was not a face of sleek, artificial beauty, and a light within him flickered to life. “I’m glad to know Karen and her new baby are fine. Your other sister is expecting soon, isn’t she?”
“Yes, in a few months. We have a lot of blessings to be thankful for in my family. And speaking of blessings, thank you again for help with the tire.” Her sincerity shone soul-deep. “If these cookies aren’t enough, I can bring by another batch sometime.”
“This is more than enough.” He’d never tasted a more delicious cookie. He’d never seen a more beautiful woman. There was so much to respect about Kendra, he didn’t know where to begin, but if he made a list of all her attributes, it would be a long one.
She was certainly showing good manners in thanking him for helping her. After all, he’d told her he wouldn’t be averse to receiving baked goods if she wanted to repay him, but she’d actually come. That said a lot about her.
He’d definitely go with her stables, if he decided he could afford a horse. That was a big question he needed an answer to if he was going to go any further with this notion of his.
“You have a good day, now.” She was backing toward the door.
There was no time like the present while he had her here, even if she was halfway out the door. “Say, Kendra.”
She hesitated, one hand on her black-rimmed sunglasses perched on the top of her head. She crooked one eyebrow in question.
He didn’t wait for her to speak—or to escape. “I want to board my horse out at your place. Except there’s one small catch.”
“What’s that?”
“I don’t have a horse.”
“Right. I remember you told me.” A hint of a smile played along her soft mouth. “How are you going to board a horse you don’t have at my place?”
“That’s where you come in. I thought with your extensive horse knowledge combined with the fact that you don’t want to lose my business to your competition—”
“Isn’t that like extortion or something?”
“Sure, but I’m the law and I don’t mind a little extortion if it gets me what I need.”
Kendra couldn’t help it. He made her laugh. Who knew the serious and capable town sheriff had a sense of humor? “I guess when the criminals are in charge, what’s a poor business owner to do? How can I help?”
“I’ve looked in the classifieds and there seem to be plenty of horses for sale, but I don’t know where to start. I don’t know a thing about them. What’s the difference between a quarter horse and a paint? Which is better? The prices seem to range from a hundred bucks to tens of thousands of dollars. I’m lost. I need help.”
“I guess I’d better lend a hand, if I want to get your business.”
“I knew you’d see things my way. I’d hate to have to tail you through town and ticket you under false pretenses until you cooperate.”
“That would be a real bother.”
So that’s why he’d been acting friendlier than usual. He’d been too embarrassed to ask outright for help. Men were so funny. All ego and pride.
She wouldn’t mind helping him at all, even if he didn’t want to board at her stable. In this world, horse people had to help each other out.
“Why don’t you come out to the stables this weekend sometime? Give me a call first, and I’ll show you around the place and introduce you to different types of horses. We’ll see what you like, and then you’ll be able to figure out what you need. Then you can get an idea of cost.”
“Sounds great. I’ll do that.”
“Good. You do know how to ride, don’t you?”
“Uh, well, no. I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I’ve always wanted to ride.”
“You’re going to love it, don’t worry. You’re about to take the first step on a great adventure.” She lit up, the way she’d been in the hospital’s gift shop, all gentle radiance and happiness. “There is nothing like owning a horse. You’ll see.”
The first step on a great adventure, huh?
He closed the door and watched while she strolled toward her pickup parked neatly and legally along the curb. She was like sunshine and he felt that way whenever he looked at her. As if she brought light to the dark corners of his life. Warmth to the cold and lonely places.
Stunned, he didn’t move a muscle. Just stood watching Kendra’s green pickup pull out into the street, blinker flashing. What was that he just experienced? He didn’t know, but he thought he liked it.
The hinges squealed as the closet door opened. “Is the coast clear?”
Cameron winced. He’d forgotten about Frank hiding out in the closet. “Sure, man. Come on out. She’s gone.”
“With your heart, by the looks of it.” Frank stole another cookie. “She sure can bake. That’s a decent trait in a woman. If you can trust one of them enough to marry.”
“Marry her? Whoa. I helped her with a trailer tire.”
“Whatever. I’m not gonna argue with you. But a woman like that, she’s what? She’s got to be over thirty. She’s got that riding stable east of town, doesn’t she?”
“I heard something like that.”
“Careful, man. She’s the kind that’ll break your heart. Believe me. She’s not looking for a husband. She’s not the soft, gentle kind of female that needs a man.”
“Oh, yes she is.” Cameron knew something about Kendra that Frank didn’t. What no one else in this town knew.
He well remembered the night when lightning had split the old willow tree in the town park. The fire department had been fighting to contain the blaze that was threatening the entire downtown. Power had been out all the way to Bozeman.
It was also the night he’d responded to a 911 call to a house near the railroad tracks in town.
He’d never forgotten that night. He suspected Kendra hadn’t, either.
“It’s about time you started dating again.”
“Hi to you, too, Gramma.” Kendra carefully laid her fragile, newborn niece down in her pretty well-appointed crib. “I’m not dating again.”
“Then you’re thinking about dating.” Gramma eased to a stop at the railing.
“Not even thinking about it.”
“Well, you should be. It’s time, my dear. It’s taken you a long while getting over Jerrod. You really must have loved him.”
Kendra’s throat ached at the sympathy in her grandmother’s words. At the caring concern that had been there forever, it seemed. Her gramma had always been there to help her whenever she needed it. Except for that one time. That one horrifying time.
She shivered, forcing the truth away. “Can we please talk about something else?”
Unfortunately, her gramma refused to back down. I’ve gotten to know him when he comes in for early-morning coffee. He likes three straight shots to start his day.”
“I’m not interested in the new deputy. Michelle’s exaggerating.” How many times would she have to say that in the next hour?
“Then it’s as I thought. The sheriff. Cameron Durango is as good as gold, if you ask my opinion. Sad it is, that he’s a widower at his age. Not many know how hard he had it, taking care of his wife when she was ill. Cancer is a hard enemy.”
“I didn’t know you knew Cameron so well.” Kendra didn’t know that about his wife.
She hadn’t even known he’d been married. She could hardly keep up with her busy life. But it struck her hard, realizing that he was alone. He’d already lost everything that could matter, and he wasn’t much older than she was.
“How long ago was that? I would have remembered the funeral.”
“His wife wasn’t a member of our church.”
That explained it. No wonder Cameron was looking for new activities to fill his leisure hours. A horse, what an excellent idea. Horses were more than pets, they were amazing, compassionate creatures. Most of her best friends had been horses.
Maybe Cameron could find the same kind of comfort she’d found.
“Michelle misunderstood. Cameron is interested in boarding a horse with me. That’s all.”
“Is he? I’m glad he’s starting to live his life again. It takes time, getting over that kind of grief. I know you’ll be good to him.”
“As I am to all my clients.” She hoped Gramma would get the hint.
“I know, dear, but a grandmother has to hope. Cameron would make a fine husband.”
Kendra rolled her eyes. “You would have said the same about the deputy. Or anyone else, for that matter. You just want me to be married, like a good woman should be.”
“That’s right. While I believe a woman ought to wait for true love to come along, I know you would be happier with a husband of your own. With babies of your own.”
Her own baby. Kendra ached in her soul, for that’s how deep the yearning went—and how deep the wound.
Not that she could let anyone know. Not even Gramma. She swallowed hard, burying her pain. “You’re one to talk. You are a businesswoman. You said buying half of Karen’s business was one of the best things you ever did.”
“Yes, but I’ve been married. I’ve raised my family. There is a season for everything.” Gramma brushed her hand over baby Anna’s tuft of downy golden hair. “Hello, sweetheart. You are amazing, yes you are.”
They stood together, side by side, gazing into the crib where the baby blinked up at them, drifting off to sleep.
“So soft.” Love vibrated in her grandmother’s voice. “There’s nothing like a newborn life.”
“Nothing so precious,” Kendra agreed.
“There is one thing as precious. Love between a wife and her husband.”
“You had to go and ruin the moment, didn’t you?”
“I’m just getting my shots in while I can, dear. If you are lucky enough that true love finds you, my beautiful granddaughter, I hope you stop working at your business long enough to grab hold of what matters.”
The wisdom in her grandmother’s words left her shaky. Kendra didn’t doubt the wisdom. True love could exist.
But to her? Never. It was a fact. “Are we done talking about this now?”
“I suppose.” Gramma fell silent.
It was reassuring, watching over little Anna while she slept. She scrunched up her tiny rosebud mouth, looking even more adorable in her relaxed, peaceful slumber.
Faint noises from downstairs drifted along the hallway, Dad’s low voice and Mom’s gentle alto answering him. The clank of the oven door closing. The clink of silverware as someone was setting the table. The delicious aroma of the casserole Kendra had put in the oven. Mom must have taken it out to cool.
The sounds of family.
She did not take lightly this blessing the good Lord had given her. She had a big, loving extended family. She was thankful for them down to the depths of her soul.
There is one thing as precious. Love between a wife and her husband. Not for me, she told herself. Not ever.
Her life was enough. It was. She would not let her grandmother’s kindly-meant words hurt.
“Isn’t little Anna something?” Gramma sighed. “She looks like you did, you know. That little button nose. That round darling face. That’s what your little girl will look like one day.”
“Don’t, Gramma.” Gasping on pain, Kendra spun away, heading for the door.
“Honey, are you all right?”
“Sure.”
It was only a half fib. She intended to be fine. Tucking away the raw hurt, she kept on going. Gramma needed time alone with her new great-granddaughter, and there was the supper to see to. Kendra was the self-appointed cook for the night, and she wasn’t about to let someone else take over.
That’s the reason she told herself for hurrying from the room. It wasn’t because of the tears in her eyes. Of the sadness that haunted her through the days and into the nights of her solitary life.
Her cell buzzed in her back pocket. She wasn’t in the mood for personal calls, but she withdrew the small handset and glanced at the screen. With her business, she was always on call, emergencies happened.
She saw with relief that it wasn’t Colleen calling her from the riding stable. No, the name on the screen was Cameron Durango’s.
She almost sent the call onto her voice mail, but she remembered what Gramma had told her. His wife had died. How difficult that had to be, to lose so much.
That’s why he was calling. Why he’d helped her with the tire and took the time to talk to her in the hospital. He was looking to make a new life. To fill his empty time with new activities.
How could she not help him? She might never know the depth of what he’d lost when he buried his wife, but she understood heartache. She understood what a future with no love and no marriage looked like.
She answered the call. “Hi, Cameron. You must be pretty anxious to buy a horse.”
“I guess I am.” He had a good-hearted voice, kind and resonant. “You said to give you a jingle. That maybe you could find time for me to come over. Take a look around.”
“I’d be happy to help you out. I’ll be working all morning tomorrow, but I should have a little free time after noon.”
“How about one? Will that work?”
“One o’clock sounds fine. You know how to find me?”
“Wouldn’t be much of a sheriff if I didn’t.”
“Good.” The cool, polite tones had vanished from her alto voice, and she sounded friendly enough.
Cameron took that as an excellent sign. “I’ll be there. I sure appreciate this, Kendra.”
“No problem. Take care.”
“You, too.”
He hung up the phone, the silence of his small kitchen echoing around him. It had been a long time since he’d let hope into his heart.
How good it felt.
Chapter Four
Kendra sliced open the fifty-pound grain sack with her grandfather’s Swiss Army knife, folded the blade away and tucked it safely into her jeans pocket. Sweat gathered along her forehead and trickled into her eyes.
She blinked against the sting, swiped her forehead with the back of her forearm and hefted the awkward sack onto her shoulder.
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