Her Torrid Temporary Marriage
Sara Orwig
ONE RED-HOT HUSBANDMattie Ryan had no illusions about her temporary husband. Long, lean, darkly compelling - Josh Brand was every woman's fantasy. And everyone in Texas cattle country was gonna wonder why in blue blazes he'd marry his gawky cowpoke neighbor!Well, Josh needed a mom for his baby, and Mattie needed - well, Mattie needed a man! The arrangement had seemed simple: a one-year, no-love-involved commitment. But Mattie, in all her experience, did the unthinkable: She'd fallen for her husband.Worse, she welcomed Josh's steamy stares, sizzling caresses and words of seduction. And now the last thing Mattie wanted was for her torrid temporary marriage to end… .
Excerpt (#u125ffff5-7712-5c3e-aba1-8b189176604a)Letter to Reader (#u1ec2b234-b257-50ca-8e35-c587483db4d0)About the Author (#uabaaf6e1-02ca-5d50-8737-85516d640691)Title Page (#uc54ccb69-bcae-5671-8b8c-bbff011e5b6c)Dedication (#u9622b6ab-534d-50bc-aa4b-65113d501b5c)Chapter One (#uad67072c-edb2-51d7-b163-e62b4ac851f2)Chapter Two (#u3cbbaec9-cc76-506d-a1b5-b17e47f55cae)Chapter Three (#u034c56d1-9b8a-547d-8b32-e8604c1e0fa8)Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
“Woman, You Were Meant For Loving,” Josh Said In A Husky Voice.
Mattie’s heart thudded. His hand was on her throat and his dark eyes held a smoldering intensity that she hadn’t seen before. His voice was raw with desire. The few times they had been together before their wedding, she’d sometimes wondered whether he’d seen her at all—but not now. At this moment she had his undivided attention.
“You are absolutely the first and only man to think so,” she said.
He tilted her chin higher, running his index finger along her jaw in a slow, tantalizing trail that made her tingle. Her body was responding to him in ways she had never experienced. She felt as if she was wound tightly inside, an urgency gathering in her.
“It’s been a hell of a long time since I really kissed a woman....”
Dear Reader,
February, month of valentines, celebrates lovers—which is what Silhouette Desire does every month of the year. So this month, we have an extraspecial lineup of sensual and emotional page-turners. But how do you choose which exciting book to read first when all six stones are asking Be Mine?
Bestselling author Barbara Boswell delivers February’s MAN OF THE MONTH, a gorgeous doctor who insists on being a full-time father to his newly discovered child, in The Brennan Baby. Brute of the Bad Boy is the wonderful first book in Elizabeth Bevarly’s brand-new BLAME IT ON BOB trilogy. Don’t miss this fun story about a marriage of inconvenience!
Cupid slings an arrow at neighboring ranchers in Her Torrid Temporary Marriage by Sara Orwig. Next, a woman’s thirtieth-birthday wish brings her a supersexy cowboy—and an unexpected pregnancy—in The Texan, by Catherine Lanigan. Carole Buck brings red-hot chemistry to the pages of Three-Alarm Love. And Barbara McCauley’s Courtship in Granite Ridge reunites a single mother with the man she’d always loved.
Have a romantic holiday this month—and every month—with Silhouette Desire. Enjoy!
Melissa Senate
Senior Editor
Please address questions and book requests to:
Silhouette Reader Service
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Canadian: P.O. Box 609. Fort Erie, Ont. L2A 5X3
About the Author
SARA ORWIG lives with her husband and children in Oklahoma. She has a patient husband who will take her on research trips anywhere from big cities to old forts. She is an avid collector of Western history books. With a master’s degree in English, Sara writes historical romance, mainstream fiction and contemporary romance. Books are beloved treasures that take Sara to magical worlds, and she loves both reading and writing them.
Her Torrid Temporary Marriage
Sara Orwig
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
To Debra Robertson with thanks
One
“I wouldn’t want to lose a wife—that’s really rough. But otherwise, I wouldn’t mind having your problem,” Bear Holcomb said as he leaned against the bar and looked at Josh Brand.
“No, in my circumstances you wouldn’t want it,” Josh said to the hulking man who fit his nickname. “I’m not ready for a woman in my life. I just want a nanny for my baby, not an affair. I’ve had three nannies in less than two months. I wanted a nanny, and they wanted a husband.”
“Stop advertising locally where they know who you are,” Tom Shellene drawled, leaning back in a chair with his booted feet propped on a table and a beer in his hand, his shaggy blond hair hanging over his eyes. “These women know you’re an eligible bachelor.”
“I tried that,” Josh replied, glancing around the barroom at the empty, scarred tables. Afternoon sunlight streamed through the one narrow window that gave a limited view of the main street of Latimer, Texas. “I got ten replies— only two were worth interviewing. One woman talked two hours straight. The other one had child-rearing ideas that weren’t compatible with what I want for my daughter.” He took a long drink of cold beer and placed the bottle on the bar. “What happened to the little rosy-cheeked, gray-haired grannies like the one I had?”
“They’ve got careers or their own families,” Bear drawled.
“So it seems.” Josh smoothed errant wisps of blond hair on the six-month-old baby sleeping in a carrier at his elbow on the bar. He picked up the carrier. “I better clear out before Brad sees us and raises a fuss about a baby in a bar in his jurisdiction. See you guys. C‘mon, Li’l Bit.”
They mumbled goodbyes, and Josh stepped into warm Texas sunshine. The sun blazed high above the quiet main street. Light reflected off the chrome trim on pickups parked around the town square. The two-story sandstone county courthouse was bathed in a rosy hue, and tall mulberry trees shed circles of dappled shade over the courthouse lawn. Usually Josh loved the town, his ranch and springtime, but this year had turned into one nightmare after another, and now he barely noticed his surroundings.
He fastened Elizabeth Mary Brand’s carrier onto the back seat of his black pickup and went around to climb behind the wheel.
“We’re going home, Li’l Bit. Maybe this week’s ad will find just the right nanny for you.” He drove along the wide main street of the small town in Clayton County, on the edge of the hill country. In minutes they were heading northwest along the highway on the way to his Triple B ranch.
His thoughts churned, and he glanced at the sleeping baby, feeling love wash through him. She was so tiny, so fragile, yet he loved her fiercely and didn’t want to give her up. His mother in Chicago would take Elizabeth, but he couldn’t bear to part with her. Frustrated, he struck the steering wheel with his fist.
An hour later as he neared home, he swung around a curve and saw a blue pickup up ahead, pulled off on the wide shoulder beneath the shade of a cottonwood. The pickup was jacked up, a tire lying on the grass beside it He put his foot on the brake to slow down. Turning to the baby, he said, “Li’l Bit, I may have to help my fellow man.”
Then Josh noticed the driver, who was bending over, the faded jeans pulling tautly across her backside as she pulled the tire up onto its tread and rolled it to the wheel. Instantly he recognized the yellow pigtail and the longest pair of female legs in Clayton County.
“Well, Li’l Bit, I guess I don’t have to offer my help. If I do offer, that self-sufficient cowgirl will take my head off.” About fifty feet away he pressed down on the accelerator and watched his neighbor, Mattie Ryan, squat down and put the spare tire in place. Tossing her long blond braid over her shoulder, she started to replace the lug bolts.
“Oh, hell. Old habits die hard,” he grumbled, and stomped on the brake to slow beside her and lower his window. “Hey, Mattie. Need help?”
She slanted him a look over her shoulder, her thickly lashed green eyes gazing at him solemnly. “Hi, Josh. No, thanks.”
“Okay,” he said, closing the window and accelerating once again. Down the road a ways he glanced in his rear-view mirror to see her pick up the flat tire and toss it into the bed of the pickup. “Now there’s a lady, Li’l Bit, who wouldn’t want an affair.”
His eyes narrowed as he pictured Mattie Ryan in his mind. Almost six feet tall, she was full-bodied, long-legged and as independent as a barn cat. And sour on men. He remembered vague rumors about her getting dumped by a boyfriend in college, but he wasn’t certain about details.
He and Mattie had grown up on neighboring ranches, established by their geat-gandfathers. Josh’s dad and Old Man Ryan were always battling each other, but they were civil to each other when out in public. Mattie’s mother died when she was ten years old, and Frank Ryan had raised Mattie like the son he never had. Mattie had to be around twenty-eight or twenty-nine. She had two younger sisters who had long ago left the area and never returned.
Now Frank Ryan was dead, and Mattie had her grandmother to care for and the Rocking R ranch to run. And he heard she had been having financial troubles lately because of her father’s illness and death.
Josh drove home mechanically, plans and possibilities involving his neighbor revolving in his mind.
Later that night he decided to give at least three weeks of thought to his ideas while he scrambled around trying to work and help his cook, Rosalie Benson, take care of Elizabeth at the same time. At the end of a week and a half, feeling desperate, he called and made an appointment with Mattie, telling her he wanted to discuss business.
As she was replacing a harness in the tack room of the barn, Mattie heard a car motor. She strode out of the barn in time to see a shiny black pickup approaching the house, a plume of dust dancing in the pickup’s trail. Her heart missed a beat while she clamped her jaw grimly. It was Josh Brand’s pickup. And Gran was in town and wouldn’t be in the house to let him in.
Feeling her long braid flop against her back, Mattie jogged toward the house as Josh’s pickup swept around the curve in front and disappeared from view.
With each step anger pulsed in her, because she could guess why he had come. His would be the fourth offer to buy her out since Dad died. She clenched her fists. She could run this ranch! Her daddy had raised her to take over when he was no longer able to run it As long as Gran was alive, she wasn’t going to sell, and she wasn’t going to lose her home because of bad weather or diseased cattle or a big loan. And not because of any man trying to coax her into selling. The day would come when she would sell, but it wasn’t now.
When she rounded the corner, Josh Brand stood on her porch with his hands on his hips while he waited for her to answer the door. Her pulse skittered, and she mentally swore. At twenty-eight she was six years younger than Josh Brand, and in all the years she’d known him he had never once seemed aware of her as a female. Nor were most other males in the county aware of her as a female. Which was quite all right. She had grown accustomed to the hurt when she had been thirteen and towered over all the boys her own age. But she hadn’t towered over Josh, and he had set her pulse racing in a manner she couldn’t control and didn’t like. Still did. He might not be aware of her, but she was too aware of him.
His black hair was caught behind his head with a strip of rawhide, and his wide-brimmed black hat was pushed back on his head His Kiowa heritage showed in his dark hair, eyes and skin, his prominent cheekbones, his imperious straight nose. Her gaze ran across his broad shoulders and down the length of his lean body. “Josh!” she called as she jogged toward the house.
Josh turned to watch Mattie,. She was graceful in a coltish way, her long legs stretching over the ground, her breasts swinging beneath the blue cotton shirt. He felt queasy, his stomach churning. The woman was an unknown quantity and formidable. Half the men in town were scared of her. She could be as forceful as her ornery dad, and for the hundredth time Josh wondered whether or not he was doing the right thing. His gaze ran over her in a practiced assessment. She was a lot of female and looked as healthy as his best horse.
Mattie took the steps two at a time, glanced up to see Josh’s eyes raking over her. Her anger rose another notch while a flush burned her cheeks. Self-conscious about her dusty work clothes, she clenched her fists. “Did you want to see me?”
At the top step she paused and looked up—a unique experience. She knew Josh was taller than she was, but she hadn’t been this close to him before and hadn’t realized exactly how much taller he was. His dark eyes studied her with an intensity that took her breath. The Brands were a tough bunch, and she suspected he was going to try to pressure her into selling the place by making her an offer that would be damned tempting.
She lifted her chin and stared back at him without blinking, wondering which one of them would blink or look away first. “Shall we go inside?” she asked.
“Any tune.”
They stood in silence, and she realized he was as aware of the contest of wills as she. She inhaled deeply. When his gaze dropped to her bosom, her anger soared, even though he had been the first to look away. She met his dark gaze again and thought she could detect a flash of amusement, but it was gone in seconds.
She reached for the door, and he bent down. For the first time she saw the baby carrier, a diaper bag and a sleeping baby. She knew he had a child and that he had lost his wife in a car wreck this past year, but she supposed he had someone to care for the baby. It startled her to see him carrying the baby with him.
“That’s yours?” she asked, and then realized how ridiculous the question was. “Well, of course, I guess it is.” She felt rattled and more annoyed than ever with him for causing her discomfort. “You wouldn’t have someone else’s baby.” She couldn’t remember whether it was a boy or girl. Judging from the pink dress, she assumed it was a girl.
“Come inside,” she said, leading the way into the cool hallway. The floor shone with polish, and their boots clicked against the bare wood as she led Josh and his baby past the living room with its bulky, dark furniture. They passed the large family room, and she led the way into the small room that was her office at the southwest corner of the house.
She motioned to a straight-backed chair and walked around her oak desk, hoping to keep things as businesslike as possible and get him out of her house as quickly as she could. Her gaze ran over the familiar glass-fronted bookcases, the hat tree, the green leather chairs. “Have a seat. Would you like something to drink?”
“No, thanks.” He set the carrier on the chair next to him and sat down, dropping his hat and the baby bag on the floor. As she sat behind the desk, she was disconcerted. Josh’s piercing dark eyes made her feel nervous, female and vulnerable. And she hated feeling that way. She glanced around the room again, her gaze pausing a moment on the large map of the ranch hanging on the east wall. She reminded herself that she was owner of one of the largest ranches in the area and that the man across from her shouldn’t intimidate her. She tried to ignore the fact that she found him handsome as sin, and she wished her pulse would quiet to a normal rate.
“Now, what did you want to see me about?”
“You get nght to the point, don’t you?” he asked. This time there was no mistaking the amusement in his voice.
“Why on earth would we do otherwise?” she snapped, annoyed that he made her uneasy. He was too masculine, too appealing. “We don’t have much to chitchat about.”
“We’re neighbors, Mattie. We should get to be friends.”
“I think it’s three generations too late for that,” she said, still flustered by him and annoyed with herself. What was it about Josh Brand that made her come unglued? With other men she could stay cool and collected. Embarrassed, she realized how unfriendly her statement sounded and added, “Well, I guess we could try to be friends.” Knowing men had no interest in striking up a friendship with her, she tilted her head to look at him. “But I don’t think that’s why you called me.”
“No, it’s not,” he admitted, still studying her as if she was a prime bit of horseflesh that he was considering purchasing. He placed one booted foot on his knee. He looked relaxed as if this were his office and she was the visitor. “My wife was killed four months ago in a car wreck,” he announced gruffly.
“I remember hearing that, and I’m sorry,” she said, shocked to see the pain in his eyes. She knew how much the loss of a loved one hurt, but Josh Brand had always seemed invincible. She was startled that he was still so obviously suffering from his loss. “At least you have your baby.”
He nodded and glanced at the sleeping child. “I want to keep Elizabeth,” he said, and his voice became more gravelly. His dark gaze returned to Mattie. “That’s why I’m here.” As he stared at her, she had a premonition of disaster. She couldn’t imagine why or what his loss had to do with her. Maybe he wanted to sell his place to her. The thought startled her, and her mind raced. With a sinking feeling, she knew she could never buy it. She was strapped for money as it was, and worried about how she was going to keep the Rocking R going. Josh Brand had a marvelous ranch In her mind she pictured the rolling fields and the cattle she knew he owned.
“Mattie, I’ve tried to hire nannies and I can’t find one who is remotely satisfactory.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” she said, puzzled. The man had lost his mind if he had come to hire her as a nanny.
Josh stared at the woman across the desk. Reluctance held his tongue. He knew once the words were out of his mouth, he couldn’t take them back. He clenched and unclenched his fists and looked again at Elizabeth who was blissfully sleeping, unaware of the turmoil and anguish of her father.
His gaze swung back to Mattie. Big green eyes stared at him, and the fleeting thought crossed his mind that the woman’s face was pretty. He inhaled, realizing the train of thought and knowing that it didn’t matter whether she looked like Attila or Cleopatra. Her looks were beside the point.
“How do you feel about children?” he blurted, wondering when he had lost all finesse.
She blinked, looking startled, then glanced at Elizabeth. “They’re nice,” she replied cautiously, sounding curious and staring at him intently.
“Yeah. Mattie, I can’t find a nanny, and I’ve come to make a proposition to you.”
“Oh, if you think I would hire out as a nanny—oh, no! I couldn’t ever—”
He held up a hand and shook his head. “Of course not.”
Startled, she bit her lip and stared at him. “If you’re not suggesting I be a nanny, what are you suggesting?” she asked, her curiosity running rampant because he looked as if he was going to faint. Sweat beaded on his forehead, and he was ashen in spite of his dark skin. She had seen Josh Brand in fights when he was young and she had seen him bronc riding in rodeos. He was as tough as her father, yet he looked as if he was coming apart right before her eyes. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.” When his compelling dark eyes met hers, she felt threatened, as if whatever this man wanted from her, she was going to have the fight of her life to keep from giving in to him.
“How are your sisters?”
“They’re fine,” Mattie answered, becoming more puzzled.
“I understand Carlina is married and lives in Denver and won’t come back home.”
“That’s right. Neither she nor Andrea will ever come back here to live,” she said. “Pardon me for asking but aren’t we drifting from why you’re here?”
“Not exactly.” He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees, his feet squarely on the floor. “Our ranches adjoin. As I understand it, your sisters won’t be returning to live here and don’t want the ranch. You don’t have any heirs, no husband.”
“I’m not selling,” she announced frostily, drawing herself up, feeling icy inside. “My sisters have said I can deal with the ranch as I see fit. I can manage their shares. I run this ranch, and it’s not on the market. Not now, not tomorrow, not because I’ve lost my dad.”
“I’m not buying.”
She opened her mouth to continue, realized what he’d said and snapped her mouth closed. More confused than ever, she stared at him. He gripped the arms of the chair and his knuckles were white. “Then what do you want?” she asked.
“I want you to marry me.”
Two
Stunned, Mattie stared at him, unable to speak. When she realized her mouth had dropped open, she closed it. “That’s absolutely absurd!”
“Hear me out,” he commanded in a tone of voice that made her close her mouth again.
Josh stared at her while his heart drummed. He was in deep now. He glanced at Elizabeth for reassurance and then returned his attention to Mattie, who was staring at him with wide-eyed alarm. If he had drawn a gun on her, he suspected she would have coolly tried to wrestle him to the ground for it, but his proposal must have frightened her as much as it did him. Somehow it reassured him to know that.
“I need a woman in the house. I don’t want a wife in the fullest sense. I need a mother for Elizabeth, someone who is intelligent and strong and kind” Mattie’s face flushed, and she blinked, and he wondered if she was startled that he thought she possessed those qualities.
“You don’t know anything about me,” she whispered.
“I’ve known about you all my life, the same as you know me. And I’ve asked around.”
Pinpoints of fire flared in the depths of her eyes, and he spoke quickly before she could complain about his inquiring into her background.
“We could operate our ranches together. You’d be in charge of hiring a nanny for Elizabeth and seeing to Li’l Bit’s upbringing. In return, you’d have my help, and you’d become part owner of my ranch. I’m willing to give you a share of my land in exchange.”
Shocked speechless, she stared at him in silence, too stunned to think of a reply. Disconcerted, she ran her hand across her forehead. “That is absolutely preposterous! Just go hire a nanny and a cook.”
“I have, and it didn’t work out.”
“Well, try again,” she snapped impatiently. “You hire men to work for you. A nanny is the same sort of thing. Why didn’t the nannies work out?”
His face flushed, and his gaze slid away. “So far, I can’t find anyone grandmotherly, and the others—well, hellfire.” His dark eyes met hers. “I’m not so damned appealing, but so far, the only ones I’ve hired want a permanent relationship.”
“For heaven’s sake, marry one of them!”
“They want the real thing,” he said stonily. “They want more than I can give. I’m not going to love another woman.” His voice became gravelly, and she could see the pain in his eyes as he battled his emotions. “I don’t want to marry for love. I don’t ever want that heartache again.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, seeing his pain and feeling sad over his loss.
He shrugged, then smoothed the baby’s hair as if to reassure himself that he still had her. Mattie’s sympathy mingled with her shock. It was obvious he thought she would be quite happy to settle for a celibate relationship that didn’t involve heart or body, but merely an overseer of his household. She felt annoyed and flattered at the same time. And still shocked. And beneath all her shock, his words echoed in her mind, Intelligent and strong and kind... The praise was astounding. She glanced at the sleeping baby.
“I don’t know one thing about a baby.”
“You don’t have to. You know calves and foals and how to run a ranch. You can hire a nanny. With you there, I won’t have problems with one. You and I can work out a damned good business arrangement if you stop to think about it. You’ll be gaining a lot of land—”
“So will you, actually.”
“Yes, I will,” he replied solemnly. “You don’t have any heirs. The danger, as I see it, is that you might fall in love someday and want to marry. We could annul the marriage and break the ranches back up. I would want a prenuptial agreement to protect Elizabeth’s inheritance. Also, I wouldn’t want you to bring any scandal to her, but I don’t think you would.”
“This is absolutely ridiculous! I’ll run an ad and hire you a nanny and you can forget marriage.”
He leaned forward another few inches, running his hand over his head. His fingers were long and blunt, the nails closely trimmed. She glanced at his face, and his dark eyes snagged and held her attention. “I know I’ve shocked you. I’m desperate and I’ve had time to think this over. You should give my proposal some thought. There are advantages to you. You have your grandmother to take care of. You’ve had a tough year, and your father’s illness ran up big bills. You’re still sending your sister Andrea to college—to medical school, from what I understand.”
Annoyed, Mattie frowned. “You’ve been snooping into my life,” she complained, only half thinking about what she was saying while his proposal spun in her mind. Josh Brand wanted her—Mattie Ryan, the Clayton County spinster—to marry him Impossible! Shock held her in a vacuum, and she had to force her attention to what he was saying.
“Everyone in these parts knows about each other’s business. This community is close. Everyone knows everyone. You know a lot about my life.”
“Maybe, but I don’t know you. We can’t marry. We’re strangers.”
“I’m not talking about a real marriage. If you want the physical side, I can do that, I suppose, but my heart is as numb as that desk.”
Agitated, she stood and went to the window to look at the rolling land that belonged to her. What Josh proposed was impossible. She couldn’t even imagine herself in any kind of marriage to him, even the most platomc relationship.
“Josh, I’m sorry, but I have my life.” She turned to face him. “I don’t know babies or how to be a wife. I’m flattered that you asked—”
“Mattie, I’ve been asking questions. Your dad mortgaged a large section of the Rocking R. You have some big debts.”
“Dammit! No one in this county can keep his mouth shut from the banker on down to—”
“Come over for dinner tonight,” Josh said abruptly, interrupting her. “Let’s get to know each other better.”
At a loss for words, she stared at him in silence.
“Just dinner, Mattie. Not scared of me, are you?”
“No! All right,” she answered, her heart fluttering. She felt lost. She had never dated seriously, never flirted or had casual relationships with boyfriends. She had worked with men all her life, but she had never had personal relationships with any man. Josh Brand was just the opposite. She could remember from school functions, football games and rodeos that Josh had had females fluttering around him since he was a little kid. And she remembered his beautiful, sophisticated wife.
“Good. I’ll come pick you up about seven.”
Elizabeth stirred and let out a wail. He turned and unbuckled her, then picked her up out of the carrier, talking softly to her. Mattie stared at him, watching the transformation of this man who was so masculine and tough. He cradled the baby, cooing to her as he jiggled her and tried to calm her. His voice gentled, his features softened; he looked incredibly appealing, no longer formidable. He fumbled in the diaper bag and produced a bottle, which the baby grasped and yanked into her mouth, her large brown eyes watching him constantly.
“There’s my girl,” he said, smoothing her hair. “Elizabeth, this is Mattie. Mattie, this is Elizabeth.”
“She’s sweet,” Mattie said perfunctorily. “I’ve never been around babies.”
“I hadn’t, either. They’ll put up with a lot,” he said without taking his gaze from his daughter.
“I really don’t think—”
He raised his head, his eyes focusing on Mattie with a look that made her pause. Without taking his gaze from her, he crossed the room, closing the distance between them. Her pulse jumped as she watched him stop only inches from her. He stood too close. She could detect the scent of aftershave, of talcum, of milk. The baby made soft sucking sounds while he held her bottle, and Mattie glanced at her. Elizabeth’s fingers were incredibly tiny and dainty, her dark lashes long and thick, and she had beautiful rosy skin. Mattie’s gaze lifted to meet Josh’s again, causing another leap in her pulse.
As he leaned closer, she noticed the faint stubble on his jaw, his thick black lashes. He shook his head. “Don’t act in haste,” he said in a low voice. “Come have dinner and we’ll talk some more. Think about what you have to gain...and what you have to lose.”
“I think you have the most to lose. You may fall in love again.”
His eyes were direct and unblinking as he shook his head. “Never again. I adored Lisa. With those marriage-hungry nannies, I felt as if a noose were closing around my neck. But I need someone for Elizabeth and if you agree to do this for me and for her, I’ll do right by you.”
“That’s easy to say now.”
“Think about what you want in a prenuptial agreement. You ask for high stakes, and you’ll see how sincere I am and how much I intend to stand by what I promise.” He stared at her a moment in silence while her heart pounded like galloping hoofbeats. “I’ll see you at seven.”
He turned, put on his hat and was halfway to the door before she realized it. As she looked at his broad shoulders, she felt dazed. He held the carrier and baby bag in one hand, the baby in the other.
“I’ll help carry something,” she said, catching up with him and taking the carrier and bag.
They walked outside to his pickup where he turned to take the carrier from her. His fingers brushed hers, and she felt an electric tingle from the contact. Why was she so aware of him? She watched him set the carrier on the back seat of the truck.
“Can you hold her a minute?” he asked, thrusting the baby into her arms without waiting for her answer. The moment the bottle left Elizabeth’s mouth, she screwed up her face and began to protest with a loud wail. He gave the baby her bottle, and her tiny hands closed on iL Mattie looked at the small, warm bundle in her arms. Two little dark eyes seemed to stare right through her with the same directness as her father’s.
When she looked at the baby, Mattie was frightened and uncertain. She couldn’t be responsible for this tiny person. Panic gripped her, and her gaze lifted from the infant to her father. Josh leaned into the car, his jeans pulling over his muscled legs while he buckled the carrier into the pickup.
Turning, he said, “Come here, Li’l Bit,” his usual nononsense bass voice changing again to a gentleness that made Mattie melt. He took the baby from Mattie. “I’ll pick you up tonight.”
After he strapped Elizabeth in securely, he strode around the pickup, climbed behind the wheel and was gone, roaring down the road, sending dust spiraling up behind the pickup while she stared in shock.
Marriage. Josh Brand wanted her to marry him. It was unbelievable, impossible, amazing. And at one time in her life, she would have been ecstatic. Now she was older and more realistic. What the man needed to do was continue advertising for nannies, hire a nice, reliable one and then wait. Later, he would marry a woman he truly loved.
She shook her head, catching her braid and pulling it across her shoulder to brush the ends of it with her fingers. Turning around, her gaze swept the ranch: the long, low barn, the corral, the bunkhouse, the other outbuildings, but her thoughts were on the man driving away.
She had a date with Josh Brand for dinner. She felt as if life had turned topsy-turvy. Why would he ask her to many him? I need a mother for Elizabeth, someone who is intelligent and strong and kind.... The words dazzled her until she faced reality. Josh Brand had never paid the least bit of attention to her before. He wanted a glorified nanny to be in charge of the real nanny. Mattie clamped her jaw closed and strode back into the house. She couldn’t do that, but she had agreed to the dinner, so there was no escaping the evening with him. Now she had to worry about what to wear.
And when she told Gran what she was doing, all hell would break loose. Gran thought she should be married and was constantly trying to get her to socialize more in town. As if it would do her any good. She had grown up in this county, and none of the men had ever wanted to date her. Until now. She shook her head and entered the house, going directly to the closet in her bedroom.
At six forty-five Mattie paced the forty-foot living room. Usually the house was a haven of comfort with its familiar cowhide and maple furniture, but tonight her stomach churned.
“Mattie, for corn’s sake, sit down!” Irma Ryan stared at her granddaughter. “And I think you should take your hair out of that infernal braid and wear a dress.”
“I feel more comfortable in jeans,” Mattie remarked, locking her fingers together nervously, looking at her diminutive, white-haired grandmother and idly wondering why all the other females in the Ryan family were under five and a half feet tall. Irma was dwarfed by the old maple rocking chair. Her feet, clad in sneakers, were propped on a lower rung, the white toes peeping out beneath the hem of jeans.
“I don’t think you should be ready and waiting. Let Josh come sit and talk with me awhile.”
“All he wants to do is talk business. He’s interested in acquiring part of the ranch.”
“Nonsense! He wouldn’t ask you to dinner at his house if all he wanted was to try to buy some land. Mattie, you should listen to me.”
Mattie’s conscience hurt. She couldn’t recall ever lying to Gran in her life, but she also couldn’t bring herself to tell Gran that Josh Brand had asked her to marry him. Gran would be planning the wedding down to the last detail.
“I hear a car,” Mattie said, going to the front window to shift a lace curtain and look at the black pickup coming up the road toward the house. Why did she feel destiny was driving full tilt to her door?
“Go back to your room, and Lottie will let him in. That’s her job.”
In spite of her nervousness, Mattie laughed. “You and Lottie both want to look him over.”
“Of course we do,” Gran admitted. “Lottie’s worked for us since you were a baby. She’s like a mother to you, and she’d like to see the man who wants to take you out.”
“It’s not that big a deal.”
“Mattie, don’t you dare leave without bringing him in here to see me. Now humor your granny and go to your room and let me talk to him. I haven’t really had ten words with a good-looking young man in years.”
“And you don’t need to start tonight.”
“Please,” Irma said, gazing through her bifocals with wide blue eyes. “I don’t get to do many things I enjoy.”
Mattie threw up her hands and left the room. Her grandmother got to do plenty that she enjoyed, from chewing tobacco to playing poker in town on Saturday afternoons with a bunch of old codgers.
When the bell chimed, Lottie Needham hurried from the kitchen. Her gray hair was a cap of curls around a rosy face, and she smiled at Mattie. “I know Miz Ryan wants to meet your beau.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Lottie, he’s not my beau!” Mattie paused and bit her lip, waving her hand at the short, stout woman who was like part of the family. “Go ahead and get the door. I’ll be in my room.”
Mattie hurried upstairs and down the hall, going to the window to look down at the black pickup. She turned, glancing again in the mirror. She had scrubbed and washed her hair and tried on half a dozen different outfits, deciding in exasperation to dress like she would any other night. She wore jeans, a blue shirt and had braided her hair. And she had only the tiniest bit more makeup than she always wore. How could she spend the evening with Josh? She didn’t know how to make small talk, and all he wanted was a business deal that she could not agree to. Wiping her damp palms against her jeans, she went downstairs.
Halfway down the stairs she heard Josh’s voice and his laughter. Now what had Gran said to make him laugh? Then Gran burst out laughing.
“You two sound as if you are enjoying yourselves,” Mattie said, entering the room. “Evening, Josh.”
He unfolded his long frame from the sofa and stood, his dark gaze sweeping over her in a manner that made her skin tingle. He had changed clothes since earlier m the day. As she expected, he was in jeans. He wore a navy shirt with the sleeves turned back. His long black hair was tied behind his head with a bit of rawhide. He was darkly handsome; a devil in blue jeans trying to buy her soul. In spite of that, her pulse jumped at the sight of him. Whether she liked it or not, he stirred a primitive reaction in her. At the same time, her awareness of him made her doubly nervous in his presence.
“Hi, Mattie,” he said quietly. “If you’re ready, we’ll be going. Irma, I enjoyed talking to you.”
“You come again,” Gran said happily.
“I intend to,” he answered with equal cheer. He took Mattie’s arm lightly as they left the room. Their boots scraped the polished hardwood floor, and as they passed the floor-to-ceiling gilt-framed mirror she glanced at their image, shocked again at how tall he was. She usually towered over men or was at least their height. But not Josh. His size and strength were impressive.
“You look pretty,” he said quietly, and she glanced up.
“Thank you,” she answered, without believing he really meant what he’d said.
They left the house and crossed the porch, descending the steps to his pickup where he opened the door for her. She reached for the handle at the same moment, and her hand closed over his.
“Sorry,” she said, flushing, wondering if he had any idea how seldom she had been out with a man. She climbed inside the pickup, then watched him go around and slide behind the wheel.
“Your grandmother is interesting. I can’t remember ever talking to her much before.”
“She’s a character. She’s had two heart attacks, and it’s still a shock to realize that she outlived my dad. I always thought I would have him forever.”
“Yeah, I know,” Josh answered gruffly, and she realized she had struck a nerve and he was probably thinking about his wife.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to remind you of your loss.”
“That’s all right. I have to live with it.”
“Where’s Elizabeth?”
“Rosalie, my cook, is watching her tonight.”
“Why don’t you get Rosalie to be a nanny as well as a cook?”
“How I wish! Rosalie is getting up in years, and her kids bought her a condo in Arizona. She’s leaving next month.”
Mattie felt awkward and uncomfortable and too aware of the man beside her. Her gaze ran over the rugged planes of his face, his strong cheekbones, his mouth that was faintly chapped, yet as appealing as the rest of him. He exuded an aura of self-confidence that increased her nervousness. Afraid he would catch her staring, she turned to look at the land flashing past them, the stands of oaks on the hillsides, the fresh arrival of spring wildflowers. “We got a lot of rain last week,” she remarked.
“Glad to have it. You’ve got good water on your land with Cotton Creek.”
“Yes, thank heaven,” she replied, knowing she had better water resources than he did and wondering if that was a large part of what prompted his proposal.
“Josh, this really is impossible,” she blurted nervously. The man tied her in knots. He was appealing, sexy, popular with everyone in the county—she didn’t belong with him.
“What’s impossible?” he asked easily. “My proposal?”
“Yes. I don’t think you’ve given enough thought to it.” She fished in her pocket and withdrew a slip of paper. “I sat down and thought of the women I know who live here and can marry you.”
He laughed, a throaty chuckle that sent tingles spiraling through her. “Did you now! How do you know what kind of woman I would like to marry?”
“You proposed to me—and I’m all but a stranger—so you’re obviously not particular.”
“I’m damned particular. I gave this a lot of thought already,” he said, shooting her a glance that made her toes curl. Momentarily she forgot her list as she thought about Josh Brand spending hours thinking about her and considering her as marriage material. Even if it was a loveless marriage, it still involved getting emotionally entangled. The idea of emotional entanglement with the man beside her took her breath away.
“Well, go ahead. Who’s on your list?” he asked with amusement.
She straightened the paper. “How about Reba Talmadge?”
He shook his head. “Too unreliable.”
“Reba?” Reba lived in Latimer and was the town librarian in Spencer, a neighboring town. As far as Mattie knew, Reba was practical and reliable and rather attractive. And she had just broken an engagement.
“All right, how about Candice Webster?”
“She was the first nanny. And no. Definitely not.”
Biting her lip, Mattie glanced at him. He gave her one quick glance in return, and she looked into his eyes filled with determmation. When he returned his gaze to the road, she noticed a muscle flexing in his jaw.
“Alyssa Hagen?”
“Never. Woman never stops talking and has a laugh that would drive a man to flight.”
Worried, Mattie ran her gaze over her list. The man was damned particular! “Barb Crandall?”
He reached over and withdrew the list from Mattie’s fingers, balled it up and tossed it into a litter bag on the dash. “Thanks, anyway. I think I’ve made the best possible choice. And I’ve considered every female I’ve ever known.”
Mattie bit her lip again and turned to look at the land. She was flattered, astonished, wondering if she would ever get over her amazement. And she was uneasy. She couldn’t possibly marry Josh Brand. The notion was totally unthinkable. The man could have almost any woman he wanted. Why would he want her?
They rode in silence while her thoughts seethed. She should just outright ask him, but it was difficult. She couldn’t even deal with him on this introductory level. It was beyond imagination to think about marrying him and dealing with him daily about everything in her life. And he disturbed her. She was intensely aware of him. He was too attractive, too incredibly masculine. She rubbed her damp palms together nervously.
“Relax, Mattie,” he said quietly.
“It’s difficult under the circumstances.”
“We’re just going to a simple dinner and discuss our futures.”
She didn’t reply and watched the sun slanting in the sky, shadows growing slightly longer, until he turned onto his ranch road. Too soon to suit her, his sprawling ranch house came into view. She couldn’t recall having seen his home before. The house was long. The overhang of the sloping roof covered a porch that circled the house. Pots of flowers hung from the roof and more pots with bright red hibiscus stood on the porch. A hummingbird darted among the flowers. Beyond the house were various structures: a barn twice the size of hers, a corral, a bunkhouse, a shop, another building that might be an office, two small buildings. She saw a tractor in a shed and another pickup parked in front of the three-stall garage. The buildings were in good shape, and the place appeared thriving and welcoming. Josh parked the truck and came around to open the door.
“C’mon. I’ll show you the house. Rosalie took Elizabeth to her house. It’s just down that road a ways,” he said, pointing to a road that angled off from the house and disappeared between stands of oaks.
Nervous, Mattie climbed out of the pickup and followed him across the porch. He opened the back door and waited while she entered the kitchen.
“How about a beer? Wine? Iced tea?”
“Tea sounds good,” she said as she looked around at the oak cabinets and terrazzo floor. The room was spacious and inviting, the aroma of hot bread still hovering in the air. On the tile counter she saw two pans with golden loaves swelling over the sides.
He handed her a glass of iced tea. “Sugar or lemon?”
“No, thanks.”
He set his cold beer on the kitchen table and moved closer, resting his hands lightly on her shoulders. The warmth of his hands kindled a responding warmth in her. She was intensely aware of him, suspecting he thought nothing of the casual touch of his hands on her or his standing so close to her.
“Mattie, relax. You look as if I’m the devil and I’ve asked you to sell your soul.”
“That’s sort of how I see you. Your proposal shocked me, and I think you should find a nanny and forget a loveless marriage,” she said, noticing his thick lashes, his sculpted lips. When he moved close to her, his presence made her more nervous than ever.
“Come look at my house,” he urged in a coaxing voice that she couldn’t resist.
She nodded, and he moved away. Even though the kitchen was spacious, he dominated it with his height and broad shoulders and his raw masculinity. Her gaze slid down his back to his slim hips, and her mouth went dry.
He turned to slant her a curious glance. “Are you with me?”
“Yes!” Burning with embarrassment because he had caught her studying his hips, she caught up and walked beside him into a large, comfortable family room, in forest green and brown decor, with a stone fireplace. A game table stood in one corner and an antique rifle was mounted above the fireplace. The furniture was large, as if it had been selected for a tall man. She crossed the room to a wall paneled in knotty pine and covered with pictures.
“That’s the rogues’ gallery,” Josh remarked, coming to stand beside her, his shoulder lightly brushing hers. “Here’s great-grandpa Daniel Brand.”
“Who tried to kill my great-grandfather,” she said with amusement as she moved closer to look at the faded picture of a bearded man with a beak of a nose above a thick mustache.
“I think it was the other way around,” Josh replied lightly, and she laughed.
“At least by the time our fathers took over the ranches, they weren’t shooting at each other. They just didn’t speak unless they had to.”
“That’s Daniel’s rifle mounted over the fireplace. He made that table,” Josh said, pointing to a sturdy, simple table that had nicks in the legs from hard use. He pointed to a picture of horses on the opposite wall. “My grandfather hung that picture. It was his favorite, so we’ve always kept it. The little rocker was my grandmother’s chair.”
“Your roots go back like my family’s.” Mattie moved along the row of pictures, examining another faded photograph of a dark-skinned, black-haired woman and Daniel Brand.
“That was Daniel’s wife, Little Star. She was full-blood Kiowa.”
“She’s a beautiful woman.”
“We have more Kiowa blood. Here’s the next generation. Grandpa Isaac was a half-breed. He married Summer Setaingia, another full-blood—here’s her picture,” Josh said, pointing to another husband-wife portrait that bore a family resemblance to Josh in their dark eyes and hair and prominent cheekbones. Mattie gazed at the pictures, but she was more aware of the tall man standing so close beside her, his body lightly touching hers. She walked along, gazing at pictures until she came to one that featured a small boy with brown eyes, flowing black hair and a cocky grin. She knew it had to be Josh. “This is you.”
“Yeah. Mom put these up. I’ve never bothered changing them, nor did Lisa.”
“This is the house you grew up in?”
“Yes. This room and the first two bedrooms are the original house that my great-grandpa Daniel built. Dad redid the kitchen and added the other rooms. After Dad died, Mom remarried and moved to Chicago. When Lisa and I married, we moved in here. Lisa had the house remodeled, but she didn’t change much in this room or the dining room. The dining room table was my grandfather’s. And there are a few old tables here that belonged to great-grandpa Daniel.”
“Sounds like our house.”
They moved to an adjoining formal living room that had an off-white carpet and the same forest green color in the upholstered furniture. “Lisa did this room over. I’m hardly ever in it,” he said in a flat voice, and Mattie realized that every time he mentioned his wife, he sounded pained.
She followed him into a dining room that held a long mahogany table with twelve chairs. A silver tea service gleamed on the polished sideboard. “You have a nice home.”
“Thanks. The bedrooms are down the hall,” he said casually. “Want to sit outside with me while I grill steaks?”
“Sure,” she answered, thinking both of them had roots that went far back in tune. Their backgrounds were the same, but there the similarities ended.
He returned to the kitchen to get a platter of steaks, and they stepped outside to a deck where he motioned toward lawn chairs. “Sit down while I cook these. Rosalie already prepared potatoes and carrots, so dinner’ll be ready soon.”
As soon as the steaks were on, he pulled a chair close and sat down facing her.
“You really have a beautiful place,” she remarked.
“The ranch has done well. I hear you just acquired two new quarter horses from Ed Williams’s stables.”
“I’m trying to improve our stock.”
“That should do it.” He studied her, and every time he gave her one of his long intense looks, she felt ensnared and at a disadvantage, as if he were trying to see into her soul and succeeding. “You don’t object to my Indian blood, do you?”
“Of course not,” she replied, startled.
He shrugged broad shoulders. “I didn’t think you would, but some might. I run into occasional prejudice.”
“It isn’t you who’s causing my objections to your proposal—it’s me. I don’t know anything about babies.”
“It doesn’t take long to learn,” he replied in an offhanded tone as if the whole matter were settled in his mind. She wondered how many things in his life didn’t go the way he wanted. He had lost his wife and father, but other than that, she suspected he usually did what he wanted and got what he wanted.
He went to the grill, and she watched him turn the steaks, her gaze running down his back to his narrow waist, over his trim backside. Her husband? Impossible! Her pulse skittered at the thought.
In minutes they sat down in the kitchen to thick steaks, baked potatoes, crisp steamed carrots with slices of homemade bread.
“You’re a good cook.”
“Thanks, but Rosalie gets most of the credit. I don’t do bread. Are you riding in the July rodeo?”
She shook her head. “I don’t participate as much as I used to. How about you?”
“I’ll be in calf roping.”
They discussed ranch life, and she felt as if her nerves were stretching to a breaking point She wanted to get to the subject, decline his offer and go home to her peaceful life. Even if it was lonely. Yet the man across the table from her was handsome and charming. A tiny bubbling excitement tugged at her, and she tried to ignore it.
When they finished eating, he refused to let her help him clean up. “It should be cooler out now. Let’s walk, and I’ll show you the barn.”
She nodded, although she was tempted to give a firm no to his proposal and go home. She suspected he wanted to show off his ranch, but she didn’t dare give a thought to becoming part of it.
The sun was slanting toward the western horizon when they went outside, and a slight breeze had sprung up. His house was a fenced oasis with a green lawn and beds of blooming flowers. Sprinklers slowly revolved, sending sparkling silver streams over the grass. Two tall live oaks spread branches above the lawn, creating cool shade in the late hours. A picket fence surrounded the backyard, and they followed a winding walk toward the gate.
“Why can’t your mother come stay for a time until you hire a nanny?”
“Mom is busy. My stepfather is Thornton Bridges. He’s a state representative, and he has his sights set on running for the Senate next election. They have a busy social life, and Mom is into a lot of charities. She’d be glad to take Elizabeth to Chicago, but I don’t want to give up my daughter.”
Breezes tugged at Mattie’s hair as she lifted her face and gazed across his rolling land. In the distance she could see a herd of white-faced Herefords grazing. They left a flagstone path, went through a gate and followed the wide, graveled driveway toward the large barn. A collie came bounding up, frisking around Josh.
“Down, Grady,” he said gently, and the dog fell into step behind them.
She glanced at Josh surreptitiously, unable to imagine why he had selected her in spite of what he had told her. He had so many choices. Suddenly the butterflies in her stomach were back, fluttering wildly. Dinner was over, and she had to tell him no, for once and for all time.
They walked through the spacious barn, where Josh showed her the tack room, and then they strolled to a fenced pasture where mares were grazing. They stood beside the fence to look at the horses that were as fine as any she owned. Josh leaned against the fence and turned to face her. He caught her braid in his hand and toyed with it, the tugs against her scalp too faint to be the cause of the tingles she experienced. She wanted to back up because he was standing so close.
“I gave thought to what I wanted before I asked you, Mattie,” he said quietly. His brown eyes were compelling as he searched her gaze.
She looked up at him and realized again that he was one of the few men she had known in her life who made her feel petite. “It’s just impossible. I don’t know anything about babies. I really don’t know anything about men, either.”
“You work with men daily. You have all your life.”
“I’ve never dated, and that’s different,” she said, feeling her nervousness increase. Her skin felt prickly, and she was too conscious of him.
“It doesn’t matter one iota to me that you’ve never dated. And I doubt if never is the correct description. You’ve dated some,” he said. “You dated in college.”
“Very little, and it meant nothing. I feel like I’m an anachronism, a real throwback to another age and time when there were women like me. I’ve never seriously dated anyone.”
Josh wondered about the stories he had heard. She was skittish as a colt around him, but he suspected it was because of his proposal, not the fact that she was out with a man. Her gaze remained on the mares. Only the pink that suffused her cheeks gave a hint to her feelings.
“I thought you dated someone seriously in college. That’s what I heard.”
The corner of her mouth lifted slightly in a wry smile. “Then you heard wrong. Gran might have started a rumor because she has always wanted me to find a man—but no, I didn’t. I’m taller than most men I know. Growing up I was a tomboy. Sometimes I think I scare some men.”
“You don’t scare me,” Josh said quietly, wondering about her, realizing maybe she had been hurt by the boys she had grown up with. And he wondered how much her father had kept men away.
Josh’s gaze roamed over her profile, her wide brow, the thick blond hair, her big eyes and full rosy lips. His gaze dropped to her slender throat and full breasts that thrust tautly against her blue shirt. The woman was more than attractive. Surprised at himself, he studied her more closely. She was a good-looking woman, but he had never really noticed her before. And he was amazed how he noticed her now. It was the first time he had really looked at a woman since Lisa’s death.
“You work with men. You ride in rodeos. If you haven’t dated, it’s been your choice some of the time.” Another blush deepened the color of her cheeks, and he saw that he was right.
“Maybe so.”
He caught her thick braid and tugged on it slightly to get her to look at him. As she turned her head, he looked into guileless green eyes that held tiny gold flecks in the center. “You don’t have to know men or have dated. Our marriage wouldn’t be much different from your life now except we’ll be under one roof and you’ll be in charge of Elizabeth’s nanny. I don’t care about a physical relationship. I wouldn’t ever force myself on you. I’ll give you all the room you want.”
Another blush, this time fiery, turned her throat and cheeks red. “I can’t imagine the arrangement you’re suggesting, and I think within six months from now, you would regret it terribly.”
“You’re wrong. I’ve given this a lot of thought.”
“Besides a sham marriage being something you shouldn’t rush into, there’s another reason for me to say no. I’ll tell you something I’ve never told anyone else. I wouldn’t ever tell Gran, as a matter of fact.”
Mattie paused, and he wondered what deep secret she was about to reveal to him. He was still thinking about her as an appealing woman. Why hadn’t anyone dated her? He decided it definitely had to have been her choice most of the time.
“What haven’t you told anyone?” he prompted, wondering what secret she harbored.
Her green eyes went beyond him as if she were gazing into the horizon. “Someday I hope to sell the ranch and get far away from here.”
Stunned by her admission, feeling a sudden painful stab of guilt for trying to involve her in a plan that was to his advantage, he dropped her braid. As he looked down at her, he felt all his plans crumbling to pieces.
Three
“You don’t want this?” he asked, waving his hand and feeling astounded. “I figured you would live and breathe and sleep ranching. That’s all you’ve ever done. What else do you want?”
“My father always relied on me, and he brought me up to carry on when he was gone. But I want something else.”
“Lord, generations of your family lived on that ranch! You’d just let it all go?”
She raised her chin, her eyes flashing fire, and he guessed that when Mattie made up her mind, she could be mule stubborn. “My sisters left without a qualm. If my family is all gone except me, why do I have to preserve a heritage that I no longer want?”
“It’s hard to imagine you don’t want it,” he said, thinking about some of his arguments with Lisa over his staying on a ranch.
“I would never have done anything to hurt Dad, but ranch life isn’t all I want. He never asked me. He just assumed. He let my sisters go. By the time they were high school age, they were in boarding schools, and they’ve never returned. Nor will they ever.”
“Your father’s gone now, so what’s keeping you here?”
“I have Gran. I won’t hurt her by selling out while she’s alive. I’ll stay until Gran is gone.” Mattie shifted and raised her chin higher, and he saw the determined glint in her eyes. “You have to swear you won’t tell anyone, Josh. I’ve never told a soul. It would kill Gran, and I won’t have her hurt.”
“I won’t tell,” he answered perfunctorily, still perplexed and mulling over her revelation. “What do you want to do?”
She looked down and ran a slender finger along the rail. Her nails were neatly trimmed, and her hands looked delicate, even though he knew she probably had as many calluses on her palms as he did.
“It may sound foolish, but for years I’ve dreamed of going to law school. I’ve read some law books.” When she looked up, he saw the defiance in her bright gaze, as if she expected him to laugh at her.
Instead, he felt defeated, because she had seemed the perfect answer to his dilemma. And he felt the old guilt tug at him as he remembered how much Lisa had hated ranch life and begged him to move to the city.
“Well, there goes that idea.”
“I appreciate your offer,” she said, dropping her hand from the fence. “I’m flattered.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “You were the perfect solution. I thought we’d fit together like salt and pepper.”
“I can’t imagine moving here,” she said. “But I’m flattered.”
He gave her a faint smile and tugged on her braid. “You underestimate yourself.”
Pleased, she smiled up at hun. “Can you take me home now?”
He nodded and started walking back toward the pickup with her. “Are there any other relatives to take over the ranch?”
“No. Dad’s only brother settled in Arizona on a ranch that belongs to his wife’s family. Uncle Dan won’t leave Arizona.”
“Maybe you should have discussed this with your dad.”
“It never occurred to him that I could possibly want anything else, and it hasn’t occurred to Gran. And neither one would have accepted it. My sisters had a long history of rebellion from the time they were old enough to know there was some other place in the world to live.”
Josh could understand why it had never occurred to her father or grandmother that she would want to leave. Ranches all over the state had been passed down through generations of the same families. It was tradition, accepted from the time of childhood. He had never given a thought to doing anything else, and it hadn’t occurred to him that Mattie could possibly want to leave. There was no boy in the Ryan family to pass the ranch to, and Mattie was the oldest girl. And the only one who had taken to ranching.
Disappointment washed through Josh again along with another prickle of conscience for keeping Lisa on the ranch when she didn’t want to stay. Keeping her until it killed her.
He glanced at the woman at his side, cunous about her and her dreams. “Why law school?”
“I think it started when I was ten and Mom was killed by a drunk driver who had a long record of arrests. He got away without even a fine, and I was so incensed that I dreamed of growing up and becoming a lawyer and prosecuting people like that.” She smiled up at him. “That was idealistic, and I was filled with childish dreams, but the idea of becoming a lawyer appeals to me. I don’t want this rural existence all my life. I feel like there’s more out there, and I want to have a chance to see for myself.”
“What did you major in?”
“Animal science. I had a minor in English—it was what I liked the most. But I loved my Dad and would never have hurt him. He wanted me to study animal science.”
“I dropped out my junior year to come home and run this place when my dad died,” Josh said.
“It appears you’ve done a good job.”
“I try. Your father could have lived to a ripe old age. If he had, what would you have done?”
“I probably would have stayed forever. Maybe at some point I would have told him what I wanted, but I doubt it. It’s lonely without him, and the battles are constant—weather, sick animals—you know all the problems involved. Ranching isn’t the same without him, and I don’t want to fight for the ranch all my life.”
They walked in silence until they reached the pickup, and then she turned to face him. “Josh, keep looking and find a nanny. You’ll be glad later. You shouldn’t go into some loveless, arranged marriage.”
“I want to keep Elizabeth,” he said, feeling his heart constrict because he couldn’t work and care for a baby at the same time.
“Let me run an ad and interview nannies. Maybe if they have to reply to me, I can help find the right one for you.”
“That’s a thought. I might do that. I’ll write out my ad and bring it by.”
She smiled, her full lips parting, a sparkle coming to her green eyes that was inviting. Why hadn’t she dated? he wondered again. Just wrong men and wrong times? He contemplated what her life would be like if she left the ranch. “I think if you go to law school and become a lawyer, you’ll find what you’re looking for...and someone you do want to date.”
She shrugged. “I’m twenty-eight and getting set in my ways.”
“Come on, old lady. I’ll take you home.”
Relaxed, glancing at his house briefly, she climbed into the pickup and rode in comfortable silence while Josh drove her home. As he walked to the door with her, he paused and placed his hands on her shoulders. Instant awareness of his touch, of his nearness, flashed through her, and for one moment she saw clearly what she had tossed away tonight.
“If you change your mind about lawyering, let me know.”
“Bnng your ad over, and I’ll run it and do some interviews.”
“Sure, Mattie.” He brushed her cheek with a kiss. His lips were warm; there was a faint smell of beer on his breath. For a moment she wanted to lean closer, wanted to discover what it was like to kiss him. She suspected it would be best that she never know.
“Thanks for dinner, Josh. I’ll never forget your proposal.”
“I’m damn disappointed, Mattie. I’ll be back tomorrow or the next day with my ad.” He grinned and shrugged.
His lopsided grin exuded charm. Creases appeared in his cheeks; his even white teeth were a contrast to his dark skin. She could remember times in the past when she had watched him in public places and seen him laughing, looking enormously appealing. If he ever turned on the charm, she thought, it would be impossible to resist him.
She watched him stride through the darkness to his pickup and climb inside, roaring away down the road. As he drove away, loss swamped her. She looked at the land that she felt part of; the same land that sometimes made her feel suffocated. The ranch was a tough taskmaster; decisions were difficult, and the burden of running the place was squarely on her shoulders.
Darkness enveloped the ranch, and quiet settled, reminding her of how alone she was. Had she made the mistake of her life tonight? If she sold the ranch and left, would she later regret what she had done and look back on Josh’s offer with longing? A loveless marriage couldn’t be a good bargain. She thought again of Josh’s fleeting kiss on her cheek. He was handsome, exciting, but she suspected that in the kind of arrangement he wanted he would barely be aware of her.
With a shrug she went inside, thankful Gran had already gone to her own small house that was several hundred yards down the road. Right now Mattie didn’t feel like answering a lot of questions about why she was home so early and why she wouldn’t be going out with Josh again.
Two days later, as she stepped out of a stall in the barn, a dark silhouette filled the sunny doorway.
“Mattie?”
Her pulse jumped when she recognized Josh’s bass voice. “What are you doing here?” She felt a guilty blush heat her cheeks, because his proposal had occupied most of her waking hours. Even though she had said no, she couldn’t forget or get Josh out of her mind. As she watched him approach, she remembered her offer. “Did you get your ad written?”
“Irma said you were in the barn with a sick mare.”
Mattie turned to rub the sorrel’s neck. “She’s better. Doc was here yesterday, and she’s come around nicely.”
Josh moved closer to look at the mare. In jeans and a white T-shirt, Josh made her aware of her own appearance, and she pushed wayward tendrils of hair from her face.
“Do you have the ad?” she repeated.
Josh turned to her, and her pulse jumped another notch as she faced him. He pushed his broad-bnmmed black hat to the back of his head and thrust out his hand beside her to lean slightly against the stall while he moved closer to her. His T-shirt clung to his muscled chest and powerful biceps. Her heart began hammering as she gazed up at him. He shook his head, and she could see a look of determination in his gaze that made her mouth go dry.
“Mattie, you said you’ll never sell this place as long as your grandmother is alive. Did you really mean that?”
“Yes. I won’t do that to any of my family. After Irma is gone, then I’ll sell,” she replied, and hoped her voice didn’t sound breathless. Josh was standing too close, watching her too intently. And she could tell by his stance that he was going to try to talk her into something.
“I remember your grandfather. He died some years ago.”
“We lost him two years ago and Dad this year,” she said stonily, momentarily feeling the sense of loss that came less often now.
“How old was your grandfather?”
“He was older than my grandmother. He was eightyfour when he died.” She wanted to move away, but Josh was hemming her in. She could detect the enticing woodsy, barberry scent of his aftershave, see the faint dark stubble on his jaw. She was barely aware of their conversation, and her nerves felt as if they were jumping with little charges of electricity from his proximity.
“I remember them talking about your great-grandfather, who lived to be one hundred. How old is Irma?”
“She’ll be eighty-one her next birthday.”
“And how’s her health?”
“She has a heart condition, but it hasn’t given her trouble for several years,” Mattie said. “Josh—” She paused, at a loss, disturbed by him. She tried to back up and bumped the stall. He moved closer, and she could feel the warmth of his body.
“Mattie,” Josh said, his voice lowering. “I’ve been considering all you told me. If you’re staying on the ranch as long as Irma lives, you could be here several more years,” Josh said, watching her. Her eyes were wide, and the pulse near her throat was throbbing. He wondered if he disturbed her, and he found the notion refreshing. Feeling certain to his soul that she would be perfect for Elizabeth, he was willing to take some risks to get what he wanted.
Mattie’s heart seemed to stop and then pound violently, because she could guess what he was getting at. “Yes, I could.”
“Marry me. We’ll draw up a prenuptial agreement that lets you out of the marriage when Irma dies.”
“No! I can’t!” Panic rose in her. She didn’t know how to deal with this forceful man. She had hired and fired ranch hands, dealt with men angry with her or her father, but that had never been like this. What was it about Josh Brand that seemed to make her knees weak and her mind stop functioning?
“Listen to me,” Josh ordered quietly, and she closed her mouth and then caught her lower lip with her even white teeth. “You marry me and stay for one year. Elizabeth will be a year and a half old, and by then we’ll have a good nanny all settled in. You stay one year, and I’ll pay for law school for you. I’ll pay all your costs. I’ll pay off the mortgage your dad took on the ranch.”
Stunned, she stared at him while the amount of the mortgage danced in her mind.
Josh smoothed the collar of her white cotton shirt, and Mattie drew a quick breath. How could she marry this man and live under the same roof with him? He disturbed her just standing here talking.
“If you stay five years—which would see Elizabeth into school age—I’ll give you a quarter of my ranch when we part, or buy you the comparable amount or give you the money. Plus all the other.”
Shocked, she blinked and bit her lip and gazed up at him in speechless amazement. “You can’t! That’s too much—”
“Not where my daughter is concerned,” he answered quietly, but she heard the note of steel. One look into his dark eyes and she knew he meant every word he said.
“We’re back to where we were. I can’t take care of her,” she said, butterflies fluttering wildly in her stomach. The man was hell-bent on getting his way.
“I know better. You run this whole damn ranch, nurse sick horses, help mares when they foal, bring calves into the world. You can hire a nanny.”
“You know there’s more to it than overseeing a nanny,” she said, mildly annoyed and feeling a bubbling panic at his implacable tone and lavish offers. “I lost my mother when I was ten. I know what it’s like to be without a mother. Your little girl needs a mother.”
He flinched, and Mattie felt as if she had been too harsh.
“A nanny may be the best I can do,” he replied stonily.
“But I’ll give her all the love I can. And if you’re there—even for just a year—you can get us off to a good start.”
“Josh, I can’t—”
“Listen,” he commanded in a tone that made her forget her arguments. His voice was quiet, yet there was an air of authority and determination about him that ended her talk.
“We’ll draw up a prenuptial agreement. If we decide to part before Irma dies, you get your ranch back intact—and all the things I just promised you.”
She closed her eyes to shut out his disturbing image. “I can’t do it.”
“Yes, you can. You’re perfect. We can work together. You can run your ranch and I’ll run mine. The difference is, you’ll live at my house and be in charge of the nanny and Elizabeth. That’s all.”
Josh held his breath. This was the perfect woman. She would be as capable as anyone could possibly be. She was softhearted, he knew, or she never would have been as loyal to her family as she had, staying on the ranch when she dreamed of leaving. And the little he had been around her, he liked her. She hadn’t talked incessantly. She could ride as well as any man he knew. She could run the ranch better than many he knew. And she was honest and forthright—refreshing qualities after the coy flirtations of the last three nannies. She was a fine-looking woman, too. Although he wouldn’t have let it matter if she had been as plain as a mud hen. He wanted Mattie Ryan. He needed her. And he had to make her need him. He knew she was in tight times and shouldering the responsibility solely by herself. And he knew how lonely and frightening that could be.
She opened her eyes and looked at him. “Move away.”
Instantly he stepped back, and she strode away from him. His gaze ran over her back. Her jeans were tight, and she had an enticing little sway to her walk that made him notice her fanny and her long legs. With surprise, he realized how he was looking at her and how his body was responding—something that hadn’t happened since Lisa. In spite of the flagrant enticements of the nannies, he had been as numb as the ground, but he wasn’t numb now. This was a lot of woman, and a damned good-looking one at that.
Mattie spun around and faced him as if she were armed and ready to duel. She had her hands on her hips, and he could see the flash of fire in her eyes.
“I think you’ll regret this terribly. Suppose you fall in love again?”
“I’m not going to. I adored Lisa and I won’t fall in love. I feel numb,” he said, knowing that until five minutes ago it had been the complete truth. “And I can get along out here on the ranch.”
“I think you’re wrong. It’s too soon. In six months I think you’ll feel differently and you’ll want to fall in love.”
“Then we can get the marriage annulled, and you can have all I promised you. Ask what you want in the prenuptial agreement. Make the stakes higher if I leave you, Mattie. Then you’ll see how earnest I am about this.”
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