The Man She Can't Forget
Maggie Cox
Once forbidden…Lara Bradley’s breath catches in her chest the moment millionaire Gabriel Devenish swoops back into her life, bringing with him a whirlwind of emotion. Because the man who stands before her is no longer the carefree object of her teenage desires but a man – hard, distant and ruthless…Now desired!Gabriel knows he should walk away from Lara, and that he must show her that wanting a happy-ever-after with him is futile. But proving just how wrong he is for her only makes him realise just how right she makes him feel…threatening the very foundations of the wall he’s built around his heart.Discover more atwww.millsandboon.co.uk/maggiecox
‘You’re too generous for your own good, Lara.
‘Let me put you straight about the kind of man I am, in case you’re harbouring the belief that I’m somehow better. I’m not. I don’t consider others. I’m a taker—not a giver, like you. In the kind of world I inhabit the weak fall by the wayside and are quickly forgotten. I’ve had to learn to be tough. On the road to achieving what I want I’ve learned not to let anything or anyone stand in my way. If I come back into your life again I’m guaranteed to hurt you and make you rue the day you met me.’
‘You’re talking as if I’m nurturing some kind of hope that we might get together. Don’t worry about that, Gabriel. I’m not.’ She sniffed and wrenched her arm free.
‘Is that right?’
In a flash Gabriel was on his feet and bringing her up towards him, moving his hands down to her slim waist to hold her fast and pulling her against the iron wall of his chest.
Then the world as she knew it disappeared as though it was nothing but a hazy dream and her eyelids shut tight as he crushed her lips beneath his. The frightening demand she sensed left Lara reeling. But it also stirred long-dormant feelings in her body, making them want to rise up and meet that furious hunger.
The day MAGGIE COX saw the film version of Wuthering Heights, with a beautiful Merle Oberon and a very handsome Laurence Olivier, was the day she became hooked on romance. From that day onwards she spent a lot of time dreaming up her own romances, secretly hoping that one day she might become published and get paid for doing what she loved most! Now that her dream is being realised she wakes up every morning and counts her blessings. She is married to a gorgeous man and is the mother of two wonderful sons. Her two other great passions in life—besides her family and reading/writing—are music and films.
Recent titles by the same author:
THE TYCOON’S DELICIOUS DISTRACTION
WHAT HIS MONEY CAN’T HIDE
DISTRACTED BY HER VIRTUE
A DEVILISHLY DARK DEAL
Did you know these are also available as eBooks?Visit www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
The Man
She Can’t Forget
Maggie Cox
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Contents
CHAPTER ONE (#u245d3e9f-d7a0-514c-8f6b-265f169ac98b)
CHAPTER TWO (#u8d23e7e1-8039-59ef-89bf-76debd2101a9)
CHAPTER THREE (#ue1035724-6fcb-5662-bd38-8e5ed44987ad)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
EXTRACT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE
IT HAD SEEMED like a good idea at the time. If only Lara had remembered her brother Sean’s sage advice to ‘expect the unexpected’, then she might have thought twice about agreeing to stay at their parents’ home while they took a much needed restorative break in the south of France.
But then Sean wasn’t there any more to remind her of that particular little pearl....
And, in truth, she would never have dreamt of refusing her mum and dad’s request to house-sit for them when they were still reeling from the tragedy that had hit them all six months ago. Their son, Sean, Lara’s brother, was dead. He had contracted malaria whilst undertaking the charity work that he loved in Africa and had not recovered from it. It hardly seemed real that such a thing was possible in the twenty-first century, but sadly it was.
Having already been back in the family home for a week now, Lara still expected him to walk through the door with a cheery, ‘Put the kettle on, sis, I could murder a cup of tea!’ just like he had done when they were teenagers.
Time seemed intent on playing tricks on her these days. One minute it passed like a slow and choking mudslide, threatening to cut off her ability to breathe, and the next... The next it seemed to vanish completely, leaving her feeling that she was stuck in a desolate and unhappy dream that she couldn’t wake up from.
Whilst she loved her work, she was glad that the college term had come to an end. Her duties and responsibilities in the library had been particularly arduous this past month, what with so many students wanting help with research to take home with them. But now that that frenetic time was over she had no choice but to fully embrace her grief and process the soul-deep pain that she felt at losing Sean.
But, truthfully, she didn’t relish the prospect of the endless summer days stretching ahead of her as she normally would have done. With nothing to lighten her mood but the daily walks she would go on with Barney, her parents’ devoted Border Terrier, Lara had been dreading the time to be spent alone at her parents’ house.
She could have arranged to go on holiday herself when they returned from France, but she hadn’t had the heart for it. A couple of friends had asked her to join them on a trip to Italy but she’d declined. How could she possibly be good company when she was still grieving so badly for Sean?
Now, in the middle of her second week’s stay at the family home, Lara was sitting at the sturdy oak kitchen table, making a half-hearted attempt at eating a bowl of unappetising breakfast cereal, when the doorbell rang. Such a lyrical bell-like sound shouldn’t pierce her to the very core, but it did. In fact it made her flinch. She seemed to be afraid of everything these days. But Sean being taken from them so suddenly like that had made her fear that nothing good would ever happen to her or her family again.
Rousing himself from the relaxed position he’d assumed, lying across her feet, Barney shot up and started barking and wagging his tail—just as though he was anticipating a welcome friend or visitor. Lara’s nerves were jangled even more. It was eight-thirty in the morning.... Who on earth would be calling at this time?
‘For goodness’ sake,’ she muttered beneath her breath, ‘it’s probably just the postman.’
Forcing herself to relax, she moved down the hardwood hallway in her bare feet, Barney eagerly following her. The day was already promising to be particularly warm, and the sun that shone through the door’s decorated Victorian glass panes lit up the interior with the glare of a powerful spotlight.
Lifting her hand to shield her gaze, she squinted at the tall shadow behind the glass. Even though she didn’t have a clue who it was she knew it wasn’t the postman. Whoever it was, his straight, ominous stance suggested someone official. Lara’s stomach executed a nervous cartwheel. Please, God, not more bad news.
She opened the door warily. ‘Good morning.’
On the other side of the door stood a man with eyes so heartbreakingly blue that the sight of them made her catch her breath. Waves of disconcerting shock flooded her. Staring at the carved, high-cheekboned visage, with its cut-glass jaw and arresting dimple, Lara thought she was dreaming. To be confronted by the man that she’d thought never to see again, and so early in the morning, she found she was both lost for words and stunned right down to her marrow.
He was dressed in an exquisitely tailored dark suit with a dulled gold pinstripe, and the clearly custom-made clothing showed off her visitor’s athletic, broad-shouldered physique to perfection. He had always looked classy, even when he was a student. Some people were just born with that exclusive air about them and this man was one of them.
As the sexy, expensive cologne he wore wafted tantalisingly beneath her nose she wanted to pinch herself, just to make sure she wasn’t dreaming.
Her visitor proffered a tentative smile and she immediately sensed his uneasiness, as though for a disconcerting moment he wasn’t sure what the appropriate greeting was.
‘I was wondering if I might have a word with Mr or Mrs Bradley?’ he asked. ‘I’m a— I was a friend of theirs. I’m sorry I’m calling so early in the morning, but I’ve just got back from New York and I wanted to pay my respects to the family for their loss.’
Lara stared hard, her legs threatening to buckle beneath her. She was suddenly aware that Gabriel Devenish, her brother’s best friend at university, hadn’t recognised her.
Her initial reaction was to feel blessedly relieved, but that was quickly followed by a churning in her guts that made her fear she might faint.
The memory of Gabriel had haunted her for years.
He and Sean had studied for the same degree together. But while the big-hearted Sean had elected to go into charity work after graduating, Gabriel had followed in his rich uncle’s footsteps and gone into the more lucrative and some might say cut-throat world of high finance.
Her brother had once told her that he’d heard on the grapevine that his friend had made an absolute fortune since moving to New York, but he’d said it in a way that had implied he almost felt sorry for him.
In any case, from the very first moment that Lara had set eyes on Gabriel, on a blistering-hot summer’s day thirteen years ago, when she’d been just sixteen, she had developed the most massive crush on him. She might have been four years younger, and still at school, but that hadn’t tempered her feelings. And a foolish impulse that she had lived to regret had once driven her to confess them to him.
Her memory was transported back to that night when Sean had thrown an impromptu party for some friends at the house when their parents were away.
Seeking to bolster her courage, because Gabriel had been there, Lara had drunk a little too much wine and had consequently embarrassed herself. Dancing with him a few hours later when the party was in full swing, delighted by his flirtatious comments and what she’d imagined was an invitational smile, she’d reciprocated by shyly telling him how much she liked him...that she liked him a lot, in fact. Then, shutting her eyes, she had moved her face up to his for a kiss.
She still remembered the look of shock on his face and the sensation of hurt that had flooded her when he’d firmly but carefully moved her away, telling her that she was his friend’s little sister and that she’d read him wrong...he’d only been teasing her.
Lara practically remembered what he’d said to her word for word. He’d added, ‘I’m sure there are plenty of boys your own age who would love to go out with you, Lara, but I’m a little too old for you, I fear. Anyway, I have my sights set on that tall, slim blonde standing over there. She’s one of my tutors and has made no secret of the fact that she likes me.’
Even the false sense of courage that the alcohol had given her hadn’t been able to protect Lara from being devastated by Gabriel’s rejection.... Yes, devastated, and humiliated, too. Over and over again she’d speculated on the reasons why he’d spurned her. Had it really been just because she was younger than him and because she was Sean’s ‘little sister’? If you cared for a person—really cared—then what did it signify that there was a bit of an age difference?
Lara had been left with the conclusion that, apart from the bond of friendship that was between them because she was his best friend’s sister, Gabriel didn’t care for her at all. Even back then he’d set his sights on much more potentially lucrative opportunities—a prime example being the slim blonde tutor from his university.
Ever since that painful incident at the party Lara’s relationships with men had never seemed to progress much beyond friendship, even when she’d wished that they would. The trouble was she no longer trusted herself to read the correct signals as far as the opposite sex were concerned. Also, in spite of Gabriel’s rejection, she realised that she still harboured impossibly romantic feelings towards her brother’s friend. Had she turned him into a bit of a fantasy figure over the years? A fantasy that no other man could possibly hope to live up to?
He had definitely been a hard man to forget....
Lara’s throat was uncomfortably dry, but looking back at him now, she somehow managed to speak.
‘It’s Gabriel, isn’t it? Gabriel Devenish? You were my brother’s best friend when he was at university. I’m sorry but my parents aren’t here at the moment. They’ve gone away to the south of France for a break.’
Behind Lara, hating to be ignored, Barney started barking again. Glad of the momentary distraction in order to gather herself mentally, she instantly dropped down to her haunches to stroke his rough wheaten-coloured coat affectionately.
‘Hush, Barney, you don’t have to make such a fuss.’
‘You’re Lara? Sean’s little sister?’
Lifting her gaze, she fell into Gabriel’s mesmerising crystal-blue stare like a diver plunging straight into the sunlit Mediterranean.
With her heart slamming against her ribs, she nodded slowly. ‘That’s right. Though not so little any more, I’m afraid.’
Rising to her full height again—five feet seven of slim limbs and womanly curves in light blue denims and a fitted white shirt—she was nothing like the plump, awkward teenager she’d been when she was sixteen. It was no surprise that Gabriel hadn’t recognised her.
‘Well, I’ll be...’
He seemed to be genuinely shocked. Lara even detected a faint flush of heat in his chiselled countenance.
‘You have grown up. Look...’
Tunnelling his long fingers through his thick chestnut hair, he inadvertently drew her attention to his strong, indomitable brow—a brow that was etched with two deeply hewn furrows. It didn’t suggest he utilised that devastating smile of his very often these days. Whatever road life had taken him down it hadn’t all been plain sailing, she thought. He might be rich, but no matter how much money a person had it didn’t protect them from the slings and arrows that life aimed at everyone along the way... No one got off scot-free.
‘I only learned of Sean’s death yesterday,’ Gabriel confessed. ‘I saw an article in the newspaper about charity workers that had died of malaria and his name was mentioned. The piece said that he’d recently won a prestigious award for his work. I was stunned to hear that he’d died. I feel bad that I never kept in touch with him after we left university.’
‘You took different paths.’ Lara shrugged, her smile unsure.
She’d hate Gabriel to think she was criticising him, even though she’d never understood why he’d chosen to go into a profession that, in her view, was about taking rather than giving—a profession that was the polar opposite of Sean’s.
‘But it’s good of you to call round to pay your respects. Mum and Dad will be touched when I tell them. I’m sure you must know they were very fond of you. Anyway, you’re probably busy, so I won’t keep you.’
Lara fervently willed him to take the cue she’d offered and leave. There was no way she wanted him to think that she was especially pleased to see him again. She was no longer the foolish sixteen-year-old whose crush on him had probably painfully embarrassed him.
But Gabriel sighed and stayed where he was. ‘Look...I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but is there any chance of a cup of tea? I promise not to take up too much of your time.’
As much as she wished she could come up with a convincing excuse that she was indeed busy, Lara had glimpsed an unexpected look of vulnerability in his eyes and she didn’t have the heart to refuse him.
‘Why don’t you come in?’ she invited. ‘I was just about to have one myself.’
Feeling relieved, Gabriel followed Lara down the hallway towards what he remembered was a spacious and homely kitchen. As he walked slowly behind the brunette his astonishment that the sometimes shy and bookish teenager had blossomed into such a beauty made him stare at her shapely hourglass figure in wonder.
What her curvaceous body did for a simple pair of jeans and plain white shirt should be committed to art or poetry, he mused. Even though he wasn’t remotely artistic or poetic himself, it certainly didn’t mean he didn’t appreciate the more aesthetically pleasing things in life—which was why he’d selected a New York apartment that had a stunning view of the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
Every now and then, when he found the time, he’d visit to remind himself that money wasn’t the only thing in life worth appreciating. Yes, it gave a person a lot more options if he had it, but it didn’t buy happiness. God knew he’d learned that to his cost over the years.... The contemplation of beauty and art ‘soothed the troubled soul’, as one wise guide at the museum had put it to him once, and although he would never dream of sharing such a view with any of his colleagues, Gabriel had agreed. That was why he admired the artists who created it.
But his admiration of Lara’s beauty was set aside as he entered the kitchen. It was indeed as homely as he remembered. And the old-fashioned stand-alone fixtures and fittings, including the 1930s pillarbox-red AGA, straight away transported him right back to when he and Sean had been young.
He recalled with fondness the countless delicious meals Peggy Bradley had made for them—in particular during that seemingly ‘endless’ summer when he and Sean, in between revising for their exams, had laughed and joked together, listened to the music of their favourite bands, mercilessly teased Lara and generally enjoyed being young and free of care, not burdened with responsibility as so many of the adults that they’d known had seemed to be. It had been easy to fantasise then that that those halcyon days would last for ever....
Gabriel’s senses were suddenly awash in a sea of poignant and heartfelt memory. As if to compound his feelings, he saw that the cream dresser was full of engaging family pictures, and taking pride of place was an eye-catching photograph of Sean as he must have looked before he died. His mischievous brown eyes were full of laughter and his wide smile highlighted the chipped front tooth that Gabriel had accidentally broken when he’d too zealously bowled a cricket ball in the garden for him to bat. He had been the closest friend that Gabriel had ever had, and even though he hadn’t kept in touch with him it cut him to the quick to think that he was no longer here....
‘Everything looks just the same,’ he remarked huskily, reaching his hand up to loosen the shirt collar that suddenly felt constricting.
‘Mum and Dad aren’t great lovers of change. They’re old-fashioned like that.’ Lara smiled fondly. ‘Not to mention sentimental. They’ve become even more so since losing Sean.’ Her smile vanished and, clearly needing a moment, she turned towards the sink to fill the kettle.
‘It must have been a terrible shock to you all to receive the news that he’d died,’ Gabriel murmured sympathetically.
‘It was. One minute we were talking to him on Skype, hearing all about the events of his day, and the next...’ Sadly shaking her head, Lara turned off the tap that had been gushing water into the kettle then moved across to the generous granite worktop to plug it into a socket to boil. ‘How do you like your tea?’ she asked, tucking some of her glossy dark hair behind her ear as she turned back.
‘Don’t you remember?’ Gabriel teased, recalling with pleasure the numerous cups of tea an eager-to-please young Lara had made him whenever he’d stayed over or visited Sean. ‘I used to tell you that, next to your mum, you made the best cup of tea in the world.’
‘You did, didn’t you?’ Her generous mouth curved with pleasure. ‘Okay, then, I’ll see if I can remember how you like it. Don’t tell me—just let me have a go. Pull up a chair and make yourself comfortable.’
He didn’t need to be asked twice. This house was the only place he’d ever known that really felt like home, with everything that that word represented.
Jaded and tired from the demands and rigours of inhabiting the soulless world of high finance for what had probably been too many years to stay wholly sane, Gabriel had a secret yearning for some simplicity and comfort in his life. He was frankly weary of the kind of comfort epitomised by the opulent living of a lot of bankers in New York, although he himself had embraced it, thinking it was his ‘due’ for working so hard and making others as rich as he was.
He hadn’t fully explored the realisation, but he was longing for the kind of comfort that might be attained by being amongst people who were authentic, with no hidden agendas and the ability simply to be themselves. In short, people who were naturally good rather than unscrupulously self-seeking.
And even as he had the thought his mind went straight away to Lara’s parents. They had welcomed him into their home without any judgement or expectation when their son had befriended him, and had even expressed their sadness that he’d been raised by a wealthy but often absent uncle who more often than not had left him in the care of a hired nanny. They were appalled that Gabriel had never known the joys of growing up in a ‘real’ family as Sean had.
‘Would you like some toast and marmalade with your cuppa?’
‘Sorry...what did you say?’ Blinking up into the melting chocolate-brown eyes of the lovely brunette who was suddenly standing in front of him, for a surreal moment Gabriel honestly forgot who or where he was because she was so enchanting.
Her brow puckering, Lara seemed taken aback that he hadn’t heard her the first time. Perhaps she didn’t know how mesmerising she was? He shrugged. He doubted it. He hadn’t met a beautiful woman yet who wasn’t intimately aware of her own appeal. Beauty was a very desirable cachet in the avaricious world that he inhabited—not to mention an asset. In his opinion every attractive woman who aimed for the top in his profession had no compunction in using such an advantage to the max.
‘I just asked if you’d like some toast and marmalade with your tea....’
‘Just tea will do thanks. Then, if you’ve got the time, I’d like you to sit down and talk to me. We’ve got quite a bit of catching up to do. It’s been years since we’ve seen each other, Lara, and as well as talking about Sean I’d like to hear what you’ve been doing with yourself.’
‘Okay.’ She chewed down on her lip, as if taken aback by the invitation. ‘But didn’t you say you’d just flown back from New York? Don’t you need to at least relax and unwind for a little while after your flight?’
Gabriel couldn’t help but smile. It seemed that the once self-conscious and unsure teenager had inherited some of her mother’s endearing natural ability to think of others’ needs first. It wasn’t something he often came across in his world—if ever—and he had to admit it was appealing. But he could just imagine the response of his more cynical male colleagues should they meet Lara and be exposed to her kind disposition for very long. They’d wonder if she was ‘for real’.
‘I assure you that right now I don’t need to do anything else other than be here with you, Lara.’
If ever a man’s statement had sounded more seductive and appealing then Lara hadn’t heard one. And the huskily low-pitched velvet cadence of Gabriel’s deeply arresting voice couldn’t help but render the words even more provocative. Her insides felt as though they’d suddenly been heated by a fiercely burning erotic flame. Could it be that her teenage fascination for this man hadn’t died with his rejection of her at that party, but instead had been quietly simmering inside all these years?
The realisation was akin to standing on a crumbling cliff edge and frantically trying to maintain her balance. It had been thirteen long years since she’d seen this man. She knew nothing about his life now, or what had transpired in the years since they’d last met, and she was pretty certain that if he had any interest in her at all at this moment it was only because of his past association with her family.
For all Lara knew, the man could be happily married to a stunningly perfect model wife in New York—the kind epitomised by the glossy magazines—with a brood of pretty blue-eyed offspring to boot. Her stomach helplessly churned at the thought.
‘All right, then. I’ll make us some tea and then we’ll catch up. Just don’t expect any tales of adventure or excitement. I live a very quiet and ordinary life that’s probably miles away from how you live yours.’
Giving him a faintly wry smile, she moved back across the kitchen to the granite worktop and hurriedly arranged the teapot and matching china cups and saucers on a tray. But her hands were visibly trembling as she poured hot water onto the tea leaves, and her heart was pounding as though it would never be at ease or calm again....
They moved into the living room to drink their tea, and Lara opened the generous-sized patio doors that led out onto the garden so that they might enjoy the sunshine. She also didn’t want to miss the opportunity of hearing the birds sing. That was one of the reasons why early morning had always been her favourite time of the day.
‘You’ve made it just how I like it,’ her handsome visitor announced, taking a sip of his tea as he lowered his long-limbed frame down into one of the comfortable Chesterfield armchairs. ‘You’ve got a good memory.’
‘Thanks.’
Suddenly self-conscious, Lara sat down in the chair opposite him and stirred her own tea. She’d never been able to drink the beverage without at least one sugar. She’d bet that Gabriel never touched the stuff. Even though he’d acquired a couple of lines on his forehead over the years, his lean, toned physique radiated the vim and vigour of a seasoned athlete rather than someone who spent his days immersed in making eye-popping deals on Wall Street.
The thought prompted a question. ‘You said you’d just come back from New York? Is this a flying visit or are you going to stay for a while?’
A definitely guarded expression stole into his mesmerising blue eyes and his lean jaw clenched a little. Leaning forward, he placed his cup and saucer down onto the walnut coffee table arranged between them.
‘I’m not sure. Right now I’ve no idea how long I’ll stay. I’ve come back to deal with some legalities regarding my uncle’s estate, to tell you the truth. He died a few weeks ago and I’m his sole beneficiary.’
‘Oh, Gabriel, I’m so sorry...about your uncle dying, I mean. Did you come back for the funeral?’
‘I did. Anyway, I have a meeting with his solicitor tomorrow.’
He shook his head, as though the matter pained rather than gratified him. But then why should he be pleased by the fact that his only family member had died? Lara reasoned. Even if he had bequeathed him everything he owned? If the scant details that she knew about Gabriel’s upbringing by his uncle were right, then surely he would have preferred to have the man’s love and affection, not to mention caring support, when he was a boy, rather than be left all his worldly goods when he died? Did he even need them when he was purported to be so wealthy in his own right?
‘Did you see your uncle much over the years after you left to go to New York?’
‘No, I didn’t. We weren’t close. He adopted me when my mother—his sister—decided she wasn’t cut out to be a mother after all...that she wanted her freedom above all else. At least he was decent enough to do that, I suppose.’
‘What about your father?’ Lara frowned. ‘What happened to him?’
In answer Gabriel’s brow creased in a formidable scowl. ‘Your guess is as good as mine. My mother put him down as “unknown” on my birth certificate.’
‘How sad.’ The comment was out before she could check it.
‘Why? I grew up in an impressive home in a very desirable area and I wanted for nothing. What’s sad about that?’
‘It’s sad that you never knew your real father, or had a relationship with him, and it’s sad that you weren’t close to the uncle who adopted you—that’s all I meant.’
‘Well, don’t give it another thought. In the circles I move in I’m considered to be a great success, and everything I’ve achieved I’ve accomplished on my own. I wasn’t held back by the fact that I wasn’t close to my family or they to me. End of story.’
But Lara guessed that was far from the end. She was pretty certain that anyone who’d been abandoned by their mother as a child must have a river of pain and anger flowing through them that couldn’t help but affect their sense of self-esteem and self-worth. But she sensed, too, that now wasn’t the time to try and press Gabriel into telling her more. He’d come to pay his respects to the family for Sean, not to be grilled by his friend’s sister about his less than idyllic upbringing.
‘Anyway, I’d like to hear about what you’ve been up to since we last met.’ Deftly, he changed the subject. ‘What do you do for a living? If I remember rightly, you were either going to be a vet or a politician. We had some passionate discussions, you, me and Sean, about setting the world to rights, didn’t we?’
His comment made Lara burn with embarrassment as she remembered their often heated and animated discussions. Especially when she recalled that her views had always been the most passionate and vehement. But when you were sixteen you thought you knew everything. You could even fool yourself into believing that a more experienced older man could seriously fall for you, when, in truth, he was only flirting with you because he could....
‘Well, I didn’t become a vet or a politician,’ she said. ‘Being responsible for setting the world to rights was too tall an order, so I became a librarian instead.’
‘Well, well, well...a librarian?’ Gabriel’s expression was wry. ‘I know you loved books, but I always thought you were far too passionate to squirrel yourself away in some dusty hall, lending them out to the great unwashed public!’
‘In case you hadn’t noticed, we’re not living in the Dickensian era.’
Lara couldn’t help but bristle at his mocking tone, but at the same time she couldn’t help registering the disturbing fact that he’d called her ‘passionate’. Had he always thought that about her? The thought made her heart race even as she reminded herself that he’d once painfully rejected her.
‘Amongst other things, I issue books in a state-of-the-art college library with every bit of modern technology you can imagine at my disposal. If you think I chose a “safe” option in becoming a librarian, instead of a vet or a politician, then I can assure you that dealing every day with the demands of diverse and sometimes tricky students is no walk in the park.’
‘But you love it?’ Lifting a dark eyebrow, Gabriel smiled. ‘I’m glad that you found a career you enjoy, Lara. And, just for the record, I still think you’re passionate. I’m sure you would be whatever you decided to do in life. You can’t help your nature.’
CHAPTER TWO
‘AND WHAT ABOUT YOU, GABRIEL?’ Lara asked, feeling suddenly hot again, because she seemed to be the focus of attention and she would much prefer to learn more about him. ‘What line of work are you in these days? Are you still involved in finance?’
The smile Gabriel returned was faintly rueful. ‘Yes, I am.’
‘What exactly do you do? I mean, do you have a job title?’
In answer he rose to his feet, and it was clear to Lara that her questions were unsettling him.
‘I’m a CRO on Wall Street—and, before you ask, that stands for Chief Risk Officer. I deal with analysing risk-and-reward formulas in financial businesses and banks.’
‘Oh.’ She raised her shoulders in a shrug, feeling none the wiser with the explanation. ‘It sounds complicated.’
‘Does it?’ A visible muscle flinched at the side of his carved cheekbone. ‘At any rate, I’d advise you not to lose any sleep trying to figure it out.’
‘Meaning you don’t think I’m intelligent enough to understand?’
‘You always did take umbrage when you thought I was being mocking, didn’t you? Perhaps you should try not to take things so personally.’
As Lara mulled over the comment, to try and ascertain exactly what he meant, Gabriel moved across to where she sat, leaned down and gathered her hands in his. Then he silently pulled her to her feet.
There wasn’t an adequate description for the huge wave of both panic and pleasure that suddenly engulfed her...except maybe abject disbelief that it was happening. Over the years, she had fantasised many times about what it might be like if Gabriel ever touched her or held her close as if he meant it, and while her heart sang to have him near she couldn’t help but remember the time when he’d so purposefully moved her away from him and told her he could never be for her. But even that agonising memory couldn’t stop her from thinking that being close to him like this felt so—so right.
Then she realised that his brilliant blue gaze was examining her with a searching intensity that couldn’t help but make her apprehensive.
‘Tell me about Sean,’ he commanded quietly, his tone almost reverent, as though even uttering his friend’s name out loud distressed him.
Relieved that it wasn’t anything she’d inadvertently done or said that had made him study her so intently, Lara took a nervous swallow. It still upset her terribly to talk about Sean and remember afresh that he had died. The thought was akin to sharpened cold steel being plunged into her heart.
‘What do you want to know?’
Gabriel didn’t release her and she found she was in no hurry to be free. His hands were large and warm and they made her feel strangely secure, made her ache for the kind of loving, sensual protection that only a man like him could provide. She was suddenly aware of a small vein throbbing in his forehead.
‘Why—how did he contract malaria?’ he enquired huskily. ‘Don’t volunteers have to have some kind of protection before going out into these godforsaken places?’
‘Of course they do.’ Lara was taken aback by the underlying rage she heard in his voice...touched that he still felt so strongly about Sean after all these years.
She was angry, too, that the brother she’d loved so dearly had been ripped from her so suddenly and without warning, and the wounds of that loss were so great she feared they might never heal. Yet she wouldn’t run away from grief, no matter how hard it hurt. She’d made a vow to face it head-on and not wound her heart further by denying how she felt. Something told her that it would be disrespectful to Sean if she did. But still, she utterly sympathised with Gabriel’s confusion and pain.
‘He had all the necessary jabs and medical examinations before he went over there,’ she said softly, ‘but malaria is caused by a mosquito bite from an infected mosquito, as I’m sure you probably know. Shortly after his death, a tear in the netting over his bed was discovered. Unfortunately the charity was always short of the money to be able to replace the old ones when they were no longer any good.’
‘So he was given a faulty mosquito net?’ His tone disparaging, Gabriel abruptly dropped Lara’s hands and stepped away.
Feeling both bereft of his touch and chilled by the memory of how Sean had died, she crossed her arms over her cotton shirt and nodded sadly. ‘It seems so.’
As if he didn’t know what to do with his rage to contain it, he strode over to the other side of the room to stare blindly out at the sunlit garden. Suddenly he spun round again to face her. ‘How could Sean have been such an idiot?’ he asked angrily.
‘What?’ The brutal question had the same effect on Lara as if Gabriel had slapped her hard across the face.
‘I mean, why didn’t he think of the consequences of being so careless about his own welfare? Probably because he’d never dream of putting himself first—and that was the problem. Why else would he accept a faulty net and risk being bitten? Even if he hadn’t realised it wasn’t intact. He should have checked. But he was always too busy thinking about others, wasn’t he? No wonder he went into charity work. What a waste that turned out to be.’
His blue eyes glittered with fury and then, seconds later, looked utterly desolate.
‘He was a genius at maths and science. He could have gone into any investment bank or financial concern and gone straight to the top. If it was so important to him to support worthy causes he could have done so from the safety of his office, using as much of his money as he wanted, without putting himself in the eye of the damn storm! It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there—a world where it’s every man for himself—and if you don’t make yourself number one then you’re dead in the water.’
As Gabriel angrily scraped his fingers through his hair it was clear that it was near impossible for him to contain his growing frustration.
‘God knows I told him that enough times. You’d think he would have had the common sense to take it on board.’
Taking a deep breath in, Lara slowly breathed out again. Her anxious heartbeat started to ease and return to a calmer rhythm. Gabriel hadn’t been being cruel when he’d asked how Sean could have been such an idiot—he was merely angry and frustrated at the senseless waste of his friend’s life. As they all were.
‘My brother was a good man—as I’m sure you know, Gabriel. And he was happy doing the work he’d chosen, helping others less fortunate than he was. It simply wasn’t in his nature to put himself first. I don’t know about you, but that’s the way I want to remember him. Happy and fulfilled and enjoying his life. I know that if he were still here he’d want you to be happy and fulfilled and enjoying your life, too. Are you?’
Her question hung suspended in the air like the sword of Damocles. Gabriel was staring at her as though transfixed, but then he rubbed his hand round his jaw in a bid to stir himself from the seeming trance he’d fallen into and shrugged.
‘In my view, being happy is given too much credence in this world. A far better goal is to aim to be successful. If you’re successful then that’s fulfilling. That at least gives you choices in life. Anyway...’
Moving back to his chair, he lifted his cup of tea to his lips and took a long draught. Then he put the cup and saucer back down and gave Lara a haunting smile that was part regret, part anguish.
‘I’m sorry if I upset you with my rant about Sean. But he was a good friend to me—probably the best friend I’ve ever had. I only wish I’d realised it sooner. I should have stayed in touch with him—but it’s too late now, isn’t it? It’s an absolute crime and a travesty that he was taken from us so soon. Please convey my heartfelt condolences to your parents, won’t you? I’m sorry they aren’t here for me to speak to personally. At any rate, I think it’s probably about time I went.’
The thought that he was leaving and that she might never see him again hit Lara like a thunderbolt.
Before she was sufficiently recovered from the shock to think it through properly, she blurted out, ‘Must you go? If you stay for a while we can have lunch together. You can even come for a walk with me and Barney first, if you like? A walk is the perfect remedy to blow the cobwebs away and clear your head. We’ve got woods at the back of the house, remember? I wish you’d seen them when the primroses were out in the spring—they were a picture.’
It was at that very moment that Gabriel knew he couldn’t walk away from this woman as easily as he wanted to—as easily as he should walk away. Because he knew if he stayed he would only hurt her. The savage hunger and need that he had buried inside for so long—and from time to time had sought to assuage with pretty bodies who only saw him as a ‘golden ticket’ to the lavish and expensive lifestyle they craved—would only end up consuming the innocent Lara and filling her with the most bitter regret for issuing that invitation to stay a while.
But Gabriel knew already that he couldn’t resist accepting it. And who could blame him for seeking sanctuary in her fresh and innocent company for a little while longer?
‘All right, then. I’ll stay...at least for lunch and a walk with Barney.’
‘That’s great. But you do realise I have an ulterior motive for asking?’
She smiled, and for the first time Gabriel noticed the two engaging and rather sexy dimples in her cheeks. But her words suddenly made him stiffen. He wasn’t ready for his illusions about her—if illusions were what they were—to be shattered so soon.
‘What motive would that be?’ he asked warily.
She lifted her slender shoulders, then dropped them again. ‘It’s just that I’ve been a bit lonely here on my own, surrounded by memories of my brother. It would be nice to have some company for a change to help take my mind off things.... That’s all I meant.’
Feeling ridiculously pleased at the admission, Gabriel relaxed. ‘Then far be it from me to deny you the one thing I can give you today. Shall we go for that walk now? The sun is shining and it’s a beautiful day. It would be a shame to waste it staying indoors.’
‘I agree.’ Lifting her long dark hair off her shoulders and dropping it down again behind her back, Lara moved gracefully across to the door. ‘I’ll just go and get my walking boots on—the terrain in the woods is quite rough and uneven in places. Will you be okay walking in those?’ Her glance was doubtful as she surveyed the ebony Italian loafers that he wore. ‘They look pretty chic and expensive.’
‘I would have brought something more suitable to change into if I’d known you were going to entice me into the woods with you,’ he remarked drolly, and his lips split into a grin when she blushed vividly.
‘Don’t kid yourself I’d even dream of such a thing. For one thing, I wouldn’t know how.’
Beneath his immaculate white shirt Gabriel’s heart started to pound disturbingly. More than that, a profoundly arousing heat invaded his blood.
‘Now, there’s a challenge if ever I heard one...’ he commented huskily.
‘I didn’t mean it as a challenge. I was only— Oh, never mind. I’ll go and get my boots on.’
Clearly flustered, Lara hurriedly left the room, and straight away Gabriel missed her presence and longed for her to return.
* * *
He was being introduced to a completely different world from the one he was used to inhabiting—a world that he realised he’d been missing for far too long.
Walking through the woods with the beauty he had once known as ‘Sean’s little sister’ by his side was delightful. She laughed often and unselfconsciously—a huskily engaging sound that made all the hairs stand up on the back of his neck. And every now and then a waft of the delightful perfume she wore, which smelled like a bouquet of wild flowers, deluged Gabriel’s senses and hit him in the gut. Coupled with the earthy, resinous scents that abounded in the woods, it made for a sensual experience bar none—a million miles away from the tense, charged atmosphere of Wall Street that was his usual daily experience.
‘I’m going to take Barney’s lead off now. This is his favourite neck of the woods. We know it well and I like to let him have a run.’
Gifting Gabriel with another sunny smile, Lara stooped to free the excited terrier from his leash and he bounded away through the thicket of dense undergrowth and trees like a whippet, joyously barking.
‘He’s not the brightest chicken in the coop,’ she commented affectionately. ‘He’s a natural hunter, but the trouble is he announces his arrival so that his prey can get away before he reaches it!’
Shaking her head in amusement, she laughed again, and Gabriel couldn’t help but smile with pleasure. Driven by sheer instinct—for once letting his heart rule his head—he found himself drawing closer and reaching for her hand. The hotly fierce tingle that shot through his body when he touched her was like being glanced by lightning and almost made him stumble. The startled look Lara gave him in return indicated that she’d felt the electrifying sensation, too.
‘I’d forgotten how funny you are,’ he confessed. ‘And that you have the most beautiful eyes. They glisten like jewels when you laugh.’ It didn’t come naturally to him to compliment a woman and mean it, but he meant this particular one with every fibre of his being.
‘Thank you.’
Carefully she disengaged her hand from his, and the becoming flush on Lara’s cheeks told Gabriel that he’d been right about her being disturbed by the shock of electricity that had arced between them.
‘You’re blushing,’ he teased.
‘If I am it’s because I’m not used to receiving such effusive compliments.’
‘Not even from the man in your life?’
He experienced no remorse whatsoever for shamelessly fishing. But Lara’s expression looked troubled now, and the light in her eyes dimmed a little.
‘There isn’t a man in my life—at least not at the moment.’
Gabriel couldn’t deny he was relieved to hear it, although he wasn’t ready to explore why right then.
‘You mean to say that there potentially might be someone? Someone you perhaps have your eye on?’
‘No. I don’t mean that at all.’ She didn’t bother to try and disguise her annoyance that he should quiz her on the subject.
‘What about you?’ she asked, turning the tables. ‘Is there anyone significant in your life? For all I know you might even be married by now.’
‘I’m not—married, I mean. And neither am I in a serious relationship. I’m married to my work, Lara. I know that sounds extremely dull and boring but it’s true. However, that’s not to say I lack the company of a pretty woman when I want it.’
‘You mean you like to play the field? I suppose that’s why there’s no one serious in your life, then.’
She sighed. But whether that sigh signified disapproval or disappointment Gabriel couldn’t guess.
Staring at the dense shroud of trees and bushes that her lively pet terrier had disappeared into, she suddenly called out, ‘Barney! Here, boy! Come on back, now.’
When the dog didn’t immediately appear, Lara turned her gaze back to Gabriel.
‘I worry when he suddenly goes quiet,’ she admitted, ‘I’d better go and see where he’s got to. He might have got stuck down a rabbit hole or something. It’s happened before. Why don’t you wait here for me? You’ve already got your posh shoes all muddy, and the ground on the other side of those trees and bushes is invariably quite boggy. Hopefully I won’t be too long.’
‘I don’t give a damn about my shoes, and I haven’t left my jacket back at the house and rolled up my shirtsleeves for nothing. I’m not concerned about getting dirty. I’ll come and help you find the dog.’
‘His name’s Barney!’
Again Lara looked affronted, and again Gabriel couldn’t resist goading her.
‘Who’s he named after? One of your ex-boyfriends?’
‘He’s my parents’ dog, not mine, you ninny.’
‘You always used to call me that. You might be surprised to know I found it quite endearing.’
‘Now, that I don’t believe. My perception was that it irritated you. I was the pesky sixteen-year-old sister of your friend, remember? You didn’t take me at all seriously. You put up with me out of politeness to Sean and my parents, I’m sure.’
‘That’s not true.’ Gabriel frowned, perturbed that Lara had believed that.
‘Come on, then.’ As if intuiting his disturbance, she gave him a cheery smile. ‘Let’s go and find Barney.’
As he squelched through the dense and muddied undergrowth in his thousand-dollar Italian loafers, with the damp leaves of bushes and thickets brushing against his immaculate white shirt, occasionally stumbling when he lost his balance, Gabriel had to smile at the ludicrous image he must present. His colleagues on Wall Street would have a field day if they could see him.
Strangely enough, that made him smile even more. In truth, he wasn’t predisposed to be glum or morose. He honestly thought that he had the best of it. How could he not when he was following behind the long-legged beauty in tight jeans in front of him?
Lara was negotiating the uneven muddy trail through the woods like a latter-day female Indiana Jones, hardly pausing for breath and calling out ‘Barney!’ every now and then with renewed gusto. Gabriel knew himself to be a fit man who welcomed a challenge—be it mental or physical—but his companion’s agility and stamina had to be seen to be believed.
Suddenly coming to a halt, and with frustration and apprehension in her voice, Lara shouted, ‘Barney! This isn’t funny. What do you think you’re playing at, you naughty boy?’
‘Sounds like you’re expecting him to reply.’
‘Ha-ha, very funny...not.’
This time Gabriel was treated to an irritated glare which, thankfully, he didn’t take seriously—not when he guessed that Lara would be utterly distraught if they couldn’t find the dog. It made him want to make more of a concerted effort to help her.
‘Barney!’ he yelled, striding towards an even denser section of the woods that they hadn’t yet explored, at that point not giving a fig that his shoes were now more or less ruined by the rough, muddy terrain.
Was that a glimpse of a dark sandy-coloured coat he’d just spied through the trees? He squinted searchingly. Gabriel would bet his bottom dollar that it was.
‘Barney! Here, boy!’ he called again, moving more deeply into the shrouded area in front of him.
He hadn’t gone very far when he saw the terrier’s wriggling rear-end pointed upwards towards the sheltering canopy of leaves. The dog was furiously digging in the earth as though intent on finding treasure.
‘I’ve found him!’ he called out to Lara, spinning round only to find her hurrying towards him. Her white shirt was splattered with mud, as his was, her long dark hair was engagingly dishevelled, and her pretty face was visibly flushed pink with the heat of her exertions.
‘Thank God!’ she exclaimed as she flew past Gabriel to reach her adored family pet, dropping down onto her knees on the rough woodland floor.
She didn’t seem to care that she might potentially hurt herself or ruin her clothes.
‘Barney, you’re a very naughty boy,’ she scolded fondly, lifting the animal away from his enthusiastic digging and hugging him to her chest, uncaring that the terrier had made her white shirt even muddier.
Crazy as it was, Gabriel couldn’t help but envy the small hound. He wouldn’t mind his once spotless tailored shirt getting even dirtier if Lara held him to her fulsome breasts like that.
‘He was probably digging for rabbits.’ She grinned up at him, her dark eyes shining. ‘He can’t help himself.’ Turning back to the dog, she crooned, ‘You’re a natural-born hunter, aren’t you, baby?’
Then, before Gabriel could take command of his besieged senses and help her, she gracefully rose to her feet and slipped the leash back on the terrier’s collar.
‘I don’t know about you, but I’m suddenly starving. Let’s get back and I’ll fix us some lunch.’
Starving didn’t come close to describing Gabriel’s appetite right then—and it wasn’t food that he hungered for. His best friend’s little sister was seriously challenging his libido and winning. Of all the things he might have envisaged happening on this trip to the UK, it wasn’t that.
Just what the hell he was going to do about it he didn’t rightly know. But to seriously consider bedding the shapely brunette and risk sullying his once good relationship with her and her family almost didn’t bear thinking about.
‘I want you to take off that shirt when we get home,’ Lara instructed as she airily swept past him with Barney.
‘What?’
Coming to a sudden halt, she turned to flourish at him a cheeky grin that would’ve shamed a mischievous schoolgirl.
‘Don’t worry—it’s not because I have designs on your body or anything. You’re quite safe. I was just going to put it in the washing machine. You can borrow one of my dad’s shirts in the meantime. He’s about the same build and height as you, although of course not quite as—not quite as...’
As her big brown eyes swept over him, and she clearly struggled to finish the sentence, Gabriel once again couldn’t resist being provocative.
‘Fit?’ he suggested, smiling.
‘You know that saying? It should be “Vanity, thy name is Man—not Woman”.’
Crossing his arms over his shirtfront, Gabriel mockingly raised an eyebrow. ‘That quote is from Hamlet, and it’s, “Frailty, thy name is woman”—not vanity. Just thought you’d like to know that for future reference.’
His pretty companion tossed her head and spun away, striding through the undergrowth again with Barney yapping happily beside her—but not before Gabriel saw her look daggers at him, as if she’d like to abandon him in the middle of those dank, dark woods and leave him there.
* * *
Lara honestly didn’t know where she was finding the courage to deal with the disturbingly charismatic presence that was Gabriel. And neither had she fully dealt with the shock of him turning up out of the blue like that at her parents’ door.
As time had gone on, her day had grown more challenging. When they’d been chatting in the living room earlier and Gabriel had drawn her up from her chair to ask about Sean she’d really believed she might faint from the sheer dizzying pleasure of the contact—not to mention the mesmerisingly intense glance he’d given her. His brilliant blue eyes had stared back into hers as though wanting to see into her very soul...as though even that wouldn’t be enough for him to find what he was searching for.
She’d seen so many things in that seemingly endless glance to take her breath away, but rage and hunger—for what, she didn’t know—had been predominant.
The second time he’d touched her, catching hold of her hand in the woods and smiling down at her, as though her company genuinely gave him pleasure, the sizzling jolt of electricity Lara had experienced when he put his hand round hers had left her feeling dizzy and confused. Such an extreme reaction to a simple friendly touch didn’t bode well for her peace of mind when the time came for her to say goodbye to Gabriel again. And this time she didn’t doubt his departure would be for good.
He would go back to his high-octane life on Wall Street and she would return to her much more simple and ordinary routine as a college librarian. Except that would be no consolation for watching her brother’s one-time charismatic best friend walk out of her life for a second time....
On their return from the woods they stood in the porch at the back of the house as Lara schooled Barney to wait while she and Gabriel removed their muddy footwear. Seeing that her companion’s black loafers were liberally weighed down and caked in once-oozing but now dried sludge, she let out a groan.
‘Oh, why, oh, why did they have to be suede?’ she asked, sincerely regretful that because of her Gabriel had ruined what was an undoubtedly expensive pair of shoes.
She could just imagine Sean shaking his head and saying, Not one of your best ideas, sis—taking Gabe on a woodland walk when he was wearing classy Italian loafers. What on earth were you thinking?
It took her aback to remember that he’d always referred to his friend as Gabe, not Gabriel. Lara had never been bold enough to do the same. Aside from that, Sean would have been right to wonder what she was thinking about. The trouble was her wonderful brother hadn’t realised that Lara never had been able to think clearly round Gabriel.
‘I should have lent you my dad’s walking boots,’ she reflected ruefully.
‘What size is he?’
‘He’s a nine.’
Grimacing as he stood up in the generous-sized utility room that his impressive physique had made appear suddenly small, Gabriel emitted a playful sigh. ‘Wouldn’t have been any good, I’m afraid. I’m a size twelve.’
Having removed her own boots, Lara rose to join him. ‘In any case, I think your lovely shoes are completely ruined. Were they very expensive?’ She flushed as she privately wondered how she could possibly find the money to replace them if they’d been even half as expensive as she guessed they had. God knew a college librarian didn’t earn a fortune....
‘If I told you, you’d probably read me the riot act for being so vain and wasteful. Forget about it. The damn shoes don’t matter. Anyway, I’ve got a spare pair in the car.’
‘You’ve got a spare pair in the car? Why didn’t you tell me?’
His arresting gaze made him look to be carefully considering the question. ‘I didn’t think about it. Besides, it’s no big deal. Now, if you’ll go and get me that shirt you promised, I’ll get out of this one and give it to you to put in the washing machine.’
He was already starting to unbutton the stained shirt as he spoke, and Lara suddenly panicked at the thought of seeing him standing there bare-chested.
‘Okay...won’t be a tick,’ she murmured, hurriedly turning towards the door that led out into the hall.
Her senses were already bombarded by Gabriel’s presence alone—how was she supposed to handle being presented with the arresting beauty of his naked male chest and act as though she were unaffected?
CHAPTER THREE
FOR A MAN WHO LIKED to be in command of situations, Gabriel found himself to be uncharacteristically all at sea in his old friend’s home with Lara. Being in that house again, and recalling some of the happiest memories he had ever known, made him yearn to replicate the feelings they evoked—the predominant one being a sense of belonging.
He hadn’t experienced that reassuring sense of being welcomed, being regarded without judgement or conditions being attached, since he’d left the UK all those years ago. God knew, the pressurised career he’d chosen wasn’t likely to engender anything close to that feeling amongst the single-minded and driven individuals he worked with. The phrase about them probably selling their own grandmothers if it made a profit often sprang to Gabriel’s mind.
From time to time it alarmed him to realise he was becoming equally mercenary, and he wasn’t proud of the fact. But in truth, like all addictions, it was hellishly hard to give up—and making money was definitely his drug of choice. Yet it was strange that he wasn’t exactly overjoyed at being bequeathed his uncle’s substantial residence, plus all his possessions and a generous monetary legacy.
All attending the man’s funeral had done for Gabriel was to remind him of the sense of abandonment and excoriating pain he’d lived with since he was a child and his mother had left, leaving him with a man who—although related to him by blood—had been as distant as the Milky Way and even less accessible.
And now, as well as the unwanted complication of having to deal with his uncle’s legacy, there was the totally unexpected dilemma of Lara. Just knowing that she was in the homely kitchen right now, preparing their lunch, shouldn’t give him the inordinate amount of pleasure that it did, but along with an undeniable sense of contentment that was how it made him feel. That in itself was unusual, because he hadn’t met a woman yet he trusted enough to relax with—except perhaps Peggy Bradley, Lara’s mother.
Occupying Lara’s father’s comfortable wing-backed chair in the living room, Gabriel knew his eyelids were drifting closed, but made no attempt to check their descent. Outside, the beneficent sun was shining and its soporific rays beamed in on him through the opened patio doors and inevitably made him feel sleepy.
On the scented summer air a distant melody floated by, teasing at the memory of a small gathering Sean had once spontaneously thrown at the house.... Lara in a long magenta-and-green dress, dancing for all she was worth, throwing her arms wide as if to embrace all that the world had to offer and drawing his eye more than once because she looked so pretty and so free....
‘Gabriel? Sorry to wake you, but lunch is ready. I thought we’d sit out in the garden and eat?’
Hearing the velvet-toned voice of the woman he’d been thinking about, and unsure whether he was still in the throes of his dream or not, Gabriel opened his eyes. His startled gaze was straight away captured by the heart-shaped face that had once been so familiar to him.
Now the innocent young girl that he remembered from his youth had turned into a woman who made him catch his breath and made his blood turn molten simply by looking at her. Devoid of any artifice or make-up, her skin was as fresh and clear as the petals of the creamiest rose, and her lips... Her lush lips were the shape and kind that would draw any man’s attention and make him long to know what they would feel like beneath his own if he were lucky enough to kiss them.
Straightening in the chair, he murmured, ‘I was dreaming about you....’ Playing for time in order to marshal his thoughts, he let a helpless smile tug at the edges of his mouth. ‘Yes, I was dreaming about you at a party Sean had once. You were just sixteen and you were dancing like some ethereal wild child to a Jimi Hendrix track. You looked so free and pretty. I remember thinking you would have fitted right into the era of peace and love in the sixties.’
Lara’s dark brows furrowed as though the reference displeased her. Clearly that particular recollection from the past didn’t fill her with the same wistful pleasure as it did Gabriel.
‘Sixteen was a horrible age for me. I was always so self-conscious and shy, and I sometimes said stupid things I didn’t mean and came to regret. I said something very stupid that night at the party.’
‘Did you? Well, you should put it behind you and forget about it. For goodness’ sake that was years ago, sweetheart, and if my recollections are right I seem to remember that there was plenty of alcohol doing the rounds that night—no doubt that was partly to blame. Besides, we can all say stupid things sometimes. If you can’t be stupid when you’re sixteen, then when can you? Anyway, I was actually quite envious of you that night.’
‘Were you? Why?’
‘Because you looked so carefree. To me you represented a freedom that I longed for—the kind of freedom that no amount of money could buy me.’
Now it was his turn to feel self-conscious and awkward. Gabriel had never revealed anything quite so personal about how he felt to anyone before. Like many young men, the programming that he’d absorbed from an early age had taught him that expressing emotion was akin to revealing a weakness, and right then he kicked it strongly into touch.
Pushing out of his chair, he moved across the room to glance out at the sunlit garden again. Immediately he noticed that the wrought iron picnic table with its matching green umbrella was laid for lunch. It was just the diversion he needed. Too much introspection was liable to make him irritable. He was already regretting being quite so frank with Lara.
‘Were you saying something about us eating outside?’
‘Yes. Lunch is ready. Why don’t you go and make yourself comfortable and I’ll bring it out?’
* * *
Lara couldn’t get Gabriel’s remarks about how she had looked at Sean’s party out of her mind. At no point had he given any indication that he remembered spurning her—first when she had lifted her face up to his for a kiss and then by tactlessly suggesting there must be boys her own age who were interested in her and telling her he had his sights set on the slim blonde who was his tutor.
He hadn’t even taken the bait when Lara had mentioned that she’d said something stupid that night that she regretted. Had her flirtation with him been so insignificant to him that he didn’t even remember it? The fact that he’d said he’d been dreaming about her with what sounded like genuine admiration seemed too unreal for words. But, however seductive it sounded, Lara would remain on her guard. She wouldn’t let the immature behaviour of her past rule her present by repeating it.
But she also couldn’t forget Gabriel’s stark and heartfelt admission that her dancing that day had represented a freedom that he longed for—a freedom that ‘no amount of money’ had been able to buy for him. Had he been feeling trapped in some way?
She couldn’t suppress the longing that infused her that one day he might reveal more of his innermost feelings to her—at least as a friend. It was easy to glean the fact that he was troubled. In the short time they’d spent together since his turning up at the door she’d begun to intuit that Sean’s death wasn’t the only grief that haunted him.
He didn’t talk much during lunch, except to remark on how good the chicken salad she’d prepared was. Lara didn’t mind. It was a glorious day and the warmth from the sun had helped ease any tension she might have felt because she was sitting opposite the man who had mesmerised her when she was just sixteen. The truth was he still mesmerised her. She’d fantasised about Gabriel so many times over the years—had even entertained the foolish hope that one day he might come back into her life, see the woman she’d become, and be enthralled by her.
But, seeing him again now, she knew that was just a pipedream. He was even more out of Lara’s league than he had been all those years ago.
However, as they sat in the garden together she realised that the past association Gabriel had enjoyed with her and her family had definitely engendered an unspoken agreement between them that they could at least let their guards down enough around each other for a while and relax. They didn’t need to present some awkward or uneasy façade that would prevent honest communication.
Reaching for the bottle of wine that she’d opened and stood in an ice bucket on the table, she poured some crisp white Chardonnay into their glasses and, raising hers in a toast, smiled. ‘To old friends.’
A fleeting shadow passed across Gabriel’s brilliant blue irises. His broad shoulders visibly tensed. Then he, too, raised his glass.
‘To Sean, who once told me that the best bottle of wine was the one you shared with a trusted friend, whether it was vintage or a common or garden bottle of plonk.’
The expression on his sculpted, handsome face was indisputably wry, but it was tinged with a sadness and regret he couldn’t hide.
‘Your brother was far too generous. I wish I’d exhibited more of that quality towards him when I had the chance. But I was too set on carving my own path to properly consider him. I certainly wasn’t around during the times he might have needed an ally or someone to confide in. Some “trusted friend” I turned out to be.’
‘You’re too hard on yourself, Gabriel.’
Not for a second could Lara deny the impulse that suddenly arose in her to touch him. God knew it was a big risk for her to give in to it, but she ached to give him some comfort. It was hard seeing him so down on himself like this.... Sean would have hated it, too.
Gently, she laid her hand over his. He stared down at it as though hypnotised. Then he shook his head.
‘The fact is I’m not hard enough. I’m constantly creating strategies and contingency plans so that I don’t have to face myself and confront the truth about who I’ve become...a man I’m hardly proud of.’
‘But you’ve already told me what a success people think you are, Gabriel. You should be proud of what you’ve achieved.’
‘So you think I’ve made a success of my life, do you?’
The pain Lara saw reflected in his gaze made her draw in a helplessly tight breath.
‘What I think isn’t as important as how you feel, Gabriel. You must have worked hard to get where you are, and you did it without help from either family or friends. That shows the kind of strength and determination that most people would love to have.’
‘Does it?’
Shockingly, Gabriel seized her hand, as though he meant to make her his prisoner, and the intense, hungry glare he swept over her face made her heart thump hard.
‘You’re too damn generous for your own good, Lara. Let me put you straight about the kind of man I am, in case you’re harbouring the belief that I’m somehow better. I’m not. I don’t consider others. I’m a taker—not a giver, like you and your family. In the kind of world I inhabit the weak fall by the wayside and are quickly forgotten. I’ve had to learn to be tough. On the road to achieving what I want I’ve learned not to let anything or anyone stand in my way. If I come back into your life again I’m guaranteed to hurt you and make you rue the day you met me.’
Her mouth drying, Lara couldn’t hold back the hot press of tears that surged into her eyes. His words had been like knives and her need to self-protect immediately kicked in.
‘You’re talking as if I’m nurturing some kind of hope that we might get together. Don’t worry about that, Gabriel. I’m not.’
She sniffed and wrenched her arm free.
‘New York has changed you, Gabriel—and not for the better. You used to be quite friendly and amusing. But it sounds like the path that you’ve chosen has corrupted you instead of made you happy. That worries me. And, just so that you know, I’m not looking for a man to be in my life. And I assure you that if I was I’m afraid it wouldn’t be you.’
‘Is that right?’
In a flash Gabriel was on his feet and yanking her up towards him, moving his hands down to her slim waist to hold her fast and pulling her against the iron wall of his chest. There was no time for Lara to think or even to feel alarmed. But her heartbeat went wild when his hand cupped the back of her head and forcefully directed her face up towards his.
Then the world as she knew it disappeared as though it was nothing but a hazy dream. Her eyelids shut tight as he crushed her lips beneath his, his hot silken tongue mercilessly invading and plundering the satin interior of her mouth in a kiss that seemed to be driven by passionate hunger and fury combined.
The frightening demand she sensed left Lara reeling. But it also stirred long-dormant feelings in her body, making them want to rise up and meet that furious hunger. Along with that shocking realisation there were other disturbing feelings and sensations that hit her. The foremost was how seductively delicious Gabriel tasted and how he exuded the most provocative scent—almost a primeval scent—that wasn’t just down to the expensive cologne he wore. And the sheer strength of the man’s hard, honed body against hers made her blood pound in her veins just as if he were some hungry lone wolf, intent on carrying her off to his lair to savour at his leisure.
But hers wasn’t the only heart that was hammering. And when Gabriel suddenly and without warning let her go, cursing vehemently beneath his breath, Lara stumbled. Her legs felt as weak as strands of damp linguine.
Retrieving her balance as quickly as she could, she stood on her father’s immaculately mown lawn and tentatively touched her fingertips to her lips. They were already slightly swollen and still throbbed from Gabriel’s savagely hungry kiss. The man himself had already distanced himself and stood shaking his dark head in what looked to be disgust. When his gaze lifted to meet hers she had never seen an expression more nakedly stark.
‘I’m sorry if I hurt you. Despite what I said, it was never my intention to do that,’ he intoned huskily. ‘But it’s better you know now what I’m really like than find out later. At least now you have the chance to shut the door on me and vow never to see me again.’
Wiping the back of her hand over her tear-moistened eyes, Lara unflinchingly met his tortured gaze. It was then that she made a silent vow not to abandon him as his mother and uncle had done. Her friends might not have understood her decision if they’d been privy to his little speech about being ‘a taker not a giver’, but then none of them had known the Gabriel of old, and nor did they know how it felt to set your eyes on a man and believe that he might—just might—be your destiny.
Despite her private feelings about that, Lara was still determined not to let Gabriel have the upper hand. Even if she couldn’t deny the powerful chemistry between them, she certainly wasn’t about to let him use her and then discard her as if he wouldn’t give her so much as a second thought. She didn’t want to be one of the ‘weak’ that fell by the wayside.
‘You probably didn’t mean to hurt me, Gabriel, but the truth is you did. Perhaps you need to leave and reflect on that for a while?’
His glance was more than a little bemused. ‘Do I take it that you’d be willing to see me again despite what just happened?’
‘I would. But you won’t behave like you have every right to kiss me like that again, Gabriel. Because I won’t let you.’
Folding her arms across the fresh pink linen shirt that she’d donned after their walk as if she meant business, Lara sighed.
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