The Pregnancy Bond
Lucy Gordon
On the night of the party, Kelly's estranged husband, Jake Lindley, had been as gorgeous and charismatic as ever. It had been impossible for Kelly to resist him–and now she was pregnant!Kelly didn't want Jake back in her life; their divorce had just become final and she couldn't possibly tell him that he was the baby's father. But Jake was determined to look after Kelly–even if that meant moving in to her apartment. Could they mend their marriage in time for the birth of their baby?
“You can’t study and do a job if you’re pregnant. You mustn’t take risks.”
“Fine. I’ll be careful. Jake, understand this—I am having a baby. I am, not we are.”
“You’ve already made that clear. But I told you before that I owe you, and I’d like to help. You have to let me support you.”
“I don’t have to do anything,” Kelly said through gritted teeth.
“So what are you going to do for money?” Jake demanded.
“I don’t know,” she yelled back. “Put a lodger in my spare room. I’ll think of something. But I’ll tell you this, I won’t be asking you for permission.”
“You’re brilliant! Meet your first lodger. I need somewhere to crash, and with my rent you’ll be able to leave your job. It makes sense!”
Will they…?
Won’t they…?
Can they…?
The possibility of parenthood: for some couples it’s a seemingly impossible dream.
For others, it’s an unexpected surprise….
Or perhaps it’s a planned pregnancy that brings a husband and wife closer together…or turns their marriage upside down?
One thing is for sure, life will never be the same when they find themselves having a baby…maybe!
This emotionally compelling miniseries from Harlequin Romance
will warm your heart and bring a tear to your eye….
The Pregnancy Bond
Lucy Gordon
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER ONE
ON KELLY’S eighth wedding anniversary she gave a party to celebrate her divorce.
Strictly speaking it was ‘their’ divorce, but of course Jake was missing, as he had been for most of the big events in their marriage. He probably wasn’t even in the country, so it was natural that he didn’t show up.
That, plus the fact that she hadn’t invited him.
She had a lot to celebrate and she was going to do it in style. She’d just embarked on the college course she’d rejected eight years ago in favour of marriage, and this time she was going to stay. She was going to graduate with honours. And she was going to forget Jake Lindley had ever existed.
Not that that would be easy when his face seemed to crop up every time she turned the television on. ‘Jake Lindley, reporting in the thick of the riots…. Jake Lindley digs deep and finds the truth you weren’t supposed to know…’
Jake Lindley was a hero, a handsome, hard-bodied, daredevil, sexy icon of the media age, with keen eyes and a wicked smile that said ‘come hither’ to every red-blooded woman within radius. But he’d broken Kelly’s heart and she was well rid of him.
This was her world now, this cosy apartment filled with the friends she’d made since joining college a few weeks ago. At twenty-six she was older than most of the students, and there was also a sprinkling of the younger professors, especially the handsome Carl, her teacher on the archaeology course. He was in the middle of the floor, dancing madly, apparently with two partners at once. He waved for her to join them, and she waved back, but indicated that she had some drinks to serve first. He winked and mouthed a wolf-whistle.
‘He fancies you,’ said a voice at Kelly’s elbow. She turned and saw Marianne, Carl’s sister, sipping champagne.
‘He winks at everything in skirts,’ Kelly said, with perfect truth.
‘You’re not wearing a skirt,’ Marianne said, frankly envious. ‘You’re wearing a skin-tight black satin trouser suit that makes me want to kill you just for being able to get into it.’
Kelly chuckled, pleased. Four months ago, when she’d thrown Jake out, she couldn’t have squeezed into this revealing creation. But the misery of their breakup had destroyed her appetite, and by the time she’d pulled herself together she’d lost twenty pounds without even trying.
Her reward was a face that had developed seductive hollows beneath the cheekbones, a crystal-clear jaw-line, and a figure that slid into that tight black satin as though it had been crafted onto her. And she looked fantastic. She knew it. And if she hadn’t known it, the yearning stares of every man there would have told her.
Marianne, a beautician by trade, had completed the transformation, cutting off the mane of hair that Kelly had kept shoulder-length ever since that long-ago day when Jake had run his fingers through it and said he liked a woman with luxurious hair. Now it was barely an inch long, nestling against her head in wispy feathers that gave her a gamine look.
In addition Marianne had ruthlessly banished the sandy colour in favour of a glamorous red, and replaced Kelly’s sedate scent with a musky perfume that was ‘the new you’!
‘It can’t be me,’ Kelly had protested, slightly shocked.
‘It can be if you believe in yourself,’ Marianne had insisted. ‘Go for it!’
So she had, and knew almost at once that the perfume, the flaming hair and the outrageous satin suit were made for each other. Whether they were made for her she still wasn’t quite sure, but it was fun finding out.
Tonight was the start of her new life as a bright single young woman, sailing once more under her maiden name, making her own way in the world instead of trailing behind a man because she loved him more than he loved her, until at last he hadn’t loved her at all. As well as her looks she had rediscovered her brains, and it was like being a new person. The final pleasure was the revelation that she could be the pursued and not the pursuer.
Carl managed to pounce on her and sweep her into the dance.
‘Mmm,’ he murmured, inhaling her scent. ‘You smell too good to be true. You look too good to be true, and you feel—mmm!’
‘And who did you last say that to?’ she asked, amused.
He was shocked. ‘I lay my passion at your feet and you doubt me. Talking of your feet, I love those golden sandals.’
‘Marianne made me buy them, plus the perfume. I’m really her handiwork.’
‘It’s not Marianne who makes you go in and out in all the right places,’ he mused, allowing his hands to move around hopefully.
‘Down, Fido,’ she said, wagging one gilt-taloned finger at him in mock rebuke. She liked Carl, but she hadn’t quite made up her mind about him.
‘All right—for the moment. You know why Marianne has got involved, don’t you? She’s set her heart on seeing me get married.’
‘Well, she’s wasting her time with me,’ Kelly said with spirit. ‘No more husbands, ever.’
‘Was he really that bad?’
‘Couldn’t tell you. He no longer exists.’
‘Quite right. A lover is far more exciting,’ he murmured in her ear.
‘Maybe, but it can’t be you.’
‘Why?’ he demanded in comic outrage.
‘You’re my tutor. It wouldn’t be proper.’
‘I’ll throw you out of the class tomorrow.’
They laughed together. He drew her close and nibbled her ear, which made her laugh even more, giving him the chance to plant a kiss on her mouth. She kissed him back. Carl was nice.
He wasn’t allowed to enjoy his triumph for long. Frank, another mature student about Kelly’s age, whisked her away.
‘Great little place you’ve found here,’ he yelled above the din.
‘Lovely, isn’t it?’ she yelled back. ‘Thanks for your house-warming present.’ He’d given her a pair of black and white avant garde prints that added the finishing touch to her walls.
‘How are you enjoying your freedom?’ he asked.
‘If I’d known it felt this good I’d have gone for it long ago.’
‘Harmon is your maiden name, right?’
‘Right!’
‘Who was your husband?’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ Kelly said, repeating the mantra that had sustained her through the miserable weeks. ‘He’s in the past.’
‘Good for you. That’s the only way to do it.’
When the dance ended they were by the bar. Frank danced off with somebody else while Kelly downed an orange juice.
Marianne sidled up to her. ‘You really are a dark horse, aren’t you?’
‘How do you mean?’
‘I mean that fantastic man who’s just walked in; the one with come-to-bed eyes and that “I’ll have any woman I like” look.’
‘I don’t know any man like that,’ Kelly said regretfully. ‘Where?’
‘Over there. He looks a bit familiar. Now, where have I seen his face before?’
‘On television,’ Kelly said, stunned. ‘And he wasn’t invited.’
‘Well, I’ll be only too pleased to take him off your hands. Honestly, he shouldn’t be allowed out alone. It’s not safe—for any of us. I want everything you know. Starting with “Is he married”?’
Kelly pulled herself together. ‘Not since ten-thirty this morning.’
‘You mean he’s—? He isn’t—?’
‘My ex.’
‘All that was yours, and you let it go?’
Kelly surveyed Jake Lindley, trying to see him through Marianne’s eyes. She knew about the eyes, and the look of knowing that women were clamouring for him. It wasn’t his fault. Women were clamouring for him, and Jake had no false modesty. Or much of any kind, if the truth be told. He’d made a brilliant career as a television journalist by being accurate, hard hitting, colourful and drop-dead gorgeous.
He was thirty-two, in his prime, with a lurking devil in his eyes and a sensual quirk to his mouth that was worth any amount of good looks, except that he had them as well.
But as for him being hers? Had he ever really been hers? She’d been his in every possible way, but she’d never felt, in her heart, that she’d been vital to him. Nor had she ‘let him go’. She’d merely faced the fact that in all important ways he’d gone already.
Marianne murmured, ‘You really don’t mind if I try my luck?’
‘You’re welcome to him,’ Kelly said firmly. Oh, it felt good to be able to say that; not to have to watch jealously. ‘Come on, I’ll introduce you.’
As they weaved their way through the throng of guests Kelly tried to calm down. The sight of Jake had given her a shock because she wasn’t expecting him, but that was all. She was a little annoyed with him for gate-crashing, but apart from that she was cool. A few feet away from him she waved gaily.
‘Jake, how nice to see you,’ she carolled.
He gave her his practised smile. ‘I’m sorry, have we m—? Kelly?’
The sheer blank astonishment in his eyes gave her heart a lift. That had knocked him off his feet. Yes!
‘Let me introduce you to Marianne,’ she said. ‘Marianne—my ex.’
‘If he was mine he’d never be allowed to be an ex,’ Marianne laughed, taking the hand Jake offered her.
‘Kelly just discarded me,’ he sighed. ‘Tossed aside like an old shoe when I’d outlived my usefulness.’ He was looking warmly into Marianne’s eyes.
‘Oh, really, Jake!’ Kelly said in disgust. ‘You can think of a better line than that.’
‘No probs,’ Marianne said hurriedly. ‘That one will do just fine. Jake, why don’t you come and cry on my shoulder…?’
They drifted off together. Kelly grinned unwillingly. She might have known Jake’s poise couldn’t be shaken for more than a moment. Whatever the place, the time, the circumstances, he could simply walk in, be instantly at home, and everyone would act as though they’d been waiting just for him. Right now, for instance, he was the only one at this party not dressed up. He wore the battered denim jeans and jacket over a black vest that he kept for travelling. Far from making him look out of place, the effect was to make everyone else seem overdressed.
His hair was shaggy and unkempt, and his skin lightly tanned. In fact he looked as if he’d just got off a plane after a long flight. Exhausting too, probably, with plenty of turbulence, which tensed him up inside, although only Kelly had ever known that. But, hey, nothing a stiff drink wouldn’t put right! That was Jake for you.
Marianne had corralled him into a corner, fending off all-comers, and after only five minutes they seemed to be getting on very, very well. Kelly started to turn away, but then resolutely looked back. What he did could no longer hurt her. Besides, she had some serious flirting of her own to do, and a plentiful supply of men to help her do it.
She concentrated hard on enjoying herself, and it was an hour before she encountered Jake again, at the drinks table.
‘Just what do you think you’re doing here?’ she demanded.
‘You said it was nice to see me.’
‘I was lying.’
‘Oh, great!’ he complained. ‘I took an early plane back to join the party, and look at the welcome I get.’
‘It wasn’t a welcome. You weren’t invited. You ought to be shot for just marching in like this. I don’t want you here.’
‘Why not? It’s my divorce too.’ He sounded put out.
‘It’s a house-warming party. This is my new place.’
‘Oh, yeah? You’ve been here three months.’
‘It’s taken time to do it up,’ Kelly improvised. ‘And it’s a sort of Christmas party too—’
‘Christmas is next month. But our divorce became final today.’
‘Fancy you remembering.’
‘I didn’t,’ he said in swift chagrin. ‘I thought it wasn’t until next week, and I—never mind! Admit it. You’re celebrating getting rid of me, aren’t you?’
‘Yes!’
He gave her a crooked grin. ‘No need to do it this way. You could have said, “Jake—vanish!”’
‘I did.’
But it was useless. He’d gone into clowning mode, which he often did when something had affected him more than he wanted to show, although she couldn’t think why he was bothered about this. He’d gained the freedom from her that he’d always secretly wanted.
‘You should have dropped me a hint, sweetheart,’ he went on. ‘I could have jumped off a bridge, vanished into the jungle—instant disappearances are my speciality.’
‘You’re impossible!’ she said, exasperated.
‘Of course I am. That’s why you divorced me.’
‘That and other reasons.’
‘It’s also why you married me.’
‘Let’s draw a line under that.’
‘Some lines aren’t so easily drawn.’ For some reason there was real anger in his voice.
‘You stop that,’ she said swiftly. ‘You messed up my life once before, but I escaped and you’re not going to do it again.’
‘Is that all our marriage was to you? Messing up your life? And our divorce—an escape?’
‘As much for you as for me,’ she said, recovering herself. ‘Think how you’ll enjoy your freedom now when the luscious ladies crowd around.’
‘But I always came home to you,’ he observed quietly.
‘Eventually—yes. And I was supposed to be grateful.’
‘That’s not—’
He broke off, exasperated as some new arrivals interrupted them. A young woman threw her arms around Kelly and pressed a gift on her.
‘This is from Harry. He’s terribly sorry he couldn’t get back in time, but he sends you this, and says he’ll call in a few days. He misses you terribly.’
‘I miss him,’ Kelly said, unwrapping the gift which turned out to be a small alabaster figure, exquisite and costly. ‘This is so lovely.’
More arrivals. A man said, ‘Miss Harmon—’
‘Kelly, please.’
‘Kelly, I’m sorry to be so late—’
She said the right things and took charge of the newcomers. Jake drained his glass and the next Kelly saw he was dancing smoochily with Marianne. She gave him only the briefest glance. The days when she sat on the sideline watching Jake work the room were over.
In the early hours the party began to break up. Carl was collecting plates and glasses, taking them to the kitchen, where Frank was busily stacking the sink.
‘Push off!’ Carl told him. ‘I’ve appointed myself to washing-up duty.’
‘Nobody needs you,’ Frank objected. ‘Go home, there’s a good fellow, and leave everything to me.’
‘Leave Kelly alone with a predator like you?’ Carl demanded.
‘So who isn’t a predator?’ Kelly challenged, much entertained. ‘You?’
At once he slipped an arm around her waist. ‘I can be anything you want me to be,’ he said throatily.
‘Well, right now I need a kitchen maid.’
‘Great. You’ve got me. Tell him to go. We’ll do the most ecstatic washing-up the world has ever known, and afterwards—’
As he spoke he was gently pushing her backwards over his arm in a theatrical simulation of passion. He was about to drop his lips on her throat when Frank seized him by the back of the neck, howling, ‘Git outta here. She’s mine!’
‘Don’t stop him,’ Kelly begged. ‘I can’t wait to hear about afterwards.’
But Frank grasped her by the waist, pulling her free so firmly that she staggered and had to be saved from falling by both of them.
‘My afterwards is more interesting than his afterwards,’ he said.
‘Don’t listen to him,’ Carl demanded.
‘You pair of maniacs,’ she said, chuckling.
They stood holding her, one on each side, exchanging glares.
‘I wouldn’t trust either of them with your crockery,’ came a voice, and Kelly looked up to see Jake lounging in the doorway, grinning. ‘Clear off, both of you.’
‘I can give my own orders, thank you,’ Kelly said, ruffled.
‘Go on, then, tell them to go.’
‘When I’m ready.’
The movement of Jake’s head was barely perceptible, but Carl and Frank saw it and it was enough to make them shuffle their feet and cough.
‘Hey, hold on,’ Kelly cried as they edged to the door. ‘Ignore him. He’s had no rights since ten-thirty this morning.’
‘You don’t need them; you’ve got me,’ Jake said.
‘Thanks, but no thanks.’
‘’Bye, fellers,’ Jake said remorselessly.
Speechless with indignation, Kelly watched as her two admirers picked up their jackets and departed, for all the world as though Jake were the master of the house. At the door Carl turned to blow her a kiss and shrug helplessly, as if to say, What could you do?
Then she was alone with Jake.
‘You’ve got a nerve,’ she seethed. ‘Ordering people out of my home. Just who do you think you are?’
‘A few days ago I’d have known how to answer that, but when I arrive on our wedding anniversary and find my wife putting out the flags because the anniversary’s cancelled—’
‘Don’t talk as though the divorce came as a surprise to you.’
‘Let’s say it came as a surprise that you went through with it.’
‘Oh, I see. You didn’t think I had the guts.’
‘I didn’t think you had the stupidity,’ he yelled. ‘Or the pig-headedness, or the short-sightedness. Where would you like me to stop?’
‘Right there. You’re talking nonsense. Our divorce was inevitable from the moment you slept with Olympia Statton.’
Goaded, Jake roared to heaven. ‘How many times does it have to be said? I did not sleep with Olympia.’
‘Oh, sure, you just did a little detour via her hotel room in Paris, at three in the morning, and left an hour later.’
‘I’ve never denied I went to her hotel room—’
‘Or why!’
‘All right! I went in for reasons I shouldn’t have done, but I changed my mind almost at once. I didn’t want to turn and run like a kid who’d lost his nerve, so I hung around drinking and making excuses to talk. Then I told her I wasn’t feeling well, and left. How was I to know that it was a set-up and the entire damned crew was out there timing me?’
‘Luckily for me.’
‘Unluckily for both of us. I didn’t sleep with Olympia, but they think I did, and you listened to them, not me. Dammit, even Olympia denied it, and you as good as called her a liar to her face.’
Which was what she wanted, Kelly thought. Oh, yes, Olympia had denied it all right, but she’d done it in a way that was half an admission, shaking her head earnestly so that her blonde hair swung around her delicate features, as if to say, You don’t really think a man could resist this, do you?
And Kelly hadn’t thought anything of the kind, any more than she’d thought Jake could be alone in a bedroom with that seductive, half-clad body, and not take matters to an inevitable conclusion.
‘Olympia said what you wanted,’ she told Jake now. ‘And later you admitted it, have you forgotten?’
‘I never admitted sleeping with Olympia,’ Jake said swiftly. ‘In the divorce papers I admitted “adultery with an unknown woman”—’
‘So that Olympia’s fair name shouldn’t be sullied. You’re a real knight in shining armour, Jake, you know that?’
‘I didn’t do it for her, I did it for you—’
‘From the goodness of your heart,’ she said sarcastically.
‘You were determined to have that divorce, one way or another. It wasn’t Olympia. She was just your excuse to be rid of me. So I made it easy for you. If it hadn’t been her it would have been something else.’
‘Something or someone?’
‘Whatever you’ve decided in that stubborn head of yours.’
‘Skip it, Jake, that’s all in the past. We’ve left it behind.’
‘Oh, sure! You settled what you wanted to believe and moved on.’
‘Wanted to believe?’ She whirled on him, eyes flashing. ‘If you think I wanted to believe that a man I used to love went out tom-catting then you’ve got rocks in your head. I believed it when I had to. And that was after years of refusing to face facts.’
‘Facts? What damned facts?’ he roared. ‘Are you suggesting that I made a career of infidelity?’
‘I’ve always wondered. What I did know for sure was that I spent my time waiting for you while you took off around the world at the behest of Olympia, who always seemed to have some vital job for you when we had an anniversary or a birthday coming up.’
‘Olympia is my producer; she trusted me with the assignments that made my name. I almost owe her my career—no, dammit!’ He checked himself, muttering curses under his breath. ‘No! What am I saying? It’s you I owe things to, that time you supported me so that I had nothing to do but hunt for assignments—I haven’t forgotten.’
‘Yes, you have,’ she said, but without rancour. She’d calmed down now. ‘And why shouldn’t you? It’s a long time ago. Never live in the past.’
‘Kelly—’
‘I’m the past; she’s the present—’
‘Kelly, please—’
‘And all our divorce did was recognise that. Now, I’m going to put the rest of the things in the sink.’
CHAPTER TWO
FOR the next few minutes Jake helped her clear away, and Kelly gave up the attempt to make him go. She washed and he dried, until at last he said, ‘I don’t know where to put things away in this place.’
‘Leave them and sit down while I make some coffee.’
When she took the coffee in a few minutes later she found him sprawled on her sofa, dead to the world. It was a familiar sight. How often in the past had she yearned for him to return, only for him to collapse with jet-lag as soon as he walked in the door?
The clink of the cups roused him and he pulled himself upright, rubbing his eyes, then closing them again at once.
‘Long flight?’ she asked sympathetically.
‘Ten hours. I’m dead.’
He got to his feet, yawning and stretching, and began to wander around her apartment. ‘Nice,’ he observed. ‘Shops nearby, that little park outside, not too far from the college, just the right size.’ He was opening doors as he spoke.
‘Hey,’ she said indignantly. ‘This is my home.’
‘It’s all right, I’m only snooping,’ he said, so innocently that it was a moment before she realised he’d admitted the offence. He’d always done that. It was how he got away with murder.
‘Anyway, I already know what your bedroom looks like because people were leaving their coats here,’ he observed, standing in the doorway and regarding the double bed.
‘Come away from there,’ she said firmly.
‘What’s this one?’ he asked, swinging around to another door. ‘Let me discover your dark secrets.’
‘This’ was the tiny second bedroom that was filled with boxes.
‘I haven’t been here long and there are things I haven’t found a place for,’ Kelly explained. ‘So tonight I just tossed them all in there. I’ll get around to it soon.’
‘That’s not like you,’ he observed, letting her lead him away.
‘What isn’t?’
‘Leaving things. You were always so tidy.’
‘I guess my priorities have changed. I’m too busy to fuss about things these days.’
Jake sat down and immediately moved to reach for something that had been sticking into his back. It was a book.
‘Hey, what’s this?’ he demanded, studying it. ‘Moving On, In Bed and In Life!’
‘Marianne gave it to me,’ she chuckled. ‘It’s one of those New Age psychobabble things. Just a laugh.’
‘A laugh, eh? And all these bookmarks? Are those the places where you’re laughing hardest? Or did Marianne put them there?’
‘Some are hers, some mine.’
‘Which is which?’
‘Work it out. You met her tonight. The way you two danced you must know her very well by now. You should have followed up. She’s ready to move on and, goodness knows, you must be. Did she give you her number? Because if not I can—’
‘Will you let me organise my own sex-life?’ he demanded, harassed. ‘And what does this mean?’ He was stabbing the book which was open at a chapter headed ‘Time For a Toy Boy?’ ‘Did she mark this?’
‘No, Marianne’s done toy boys,’ Kelly said cheerfully. ‘If she wanted another one she wouldn’t be bothering with you. Let’s face it, Jake. You hardly qualify, do you? What are you? Thirty-eight?’
‘Thirty-two, as you well know.’
‘Are you sure? I’ve always thought—I mean you look—well, anyway, thirty-two is still past your best, and—’
‘All right, all right,’ he said, grimly appreciative of this wit at his expense. ‘So I take it the bookmark’s yours?’
She glanced over and shrugged. ‘Sure.’
‘Nice reading matter you go in for, Mrs Lindley,’ he said scathingly.
‘Miss Harmon, and it’s none of your business what I read.’
He recited aloud. “‘Don’t be half-hearted about the change you’re making. Feel the sense of liberation as you chuck out unwanted possessions”—would that include unwanted husbands, by any chance?’
‘Oh, don’t be a dog in the manger. You were bored to tears with me. You’re just mad because I made the first move to end our marriage—unless, of course, you consider Olympia the first move, which you could—’
‘Do not,’ he said dangerously, ‘mention her again.’
Kelly shrugged. ‘OK. Nuff said—about everything. Give me back my book.’
‘Wait, I haven’t finished. Where was I? “Unwanted possessions. Replace them with something as different as possible. A change of partners works wonders. If years of sex with the same man has left you feeling bored—” now we’re coming to it “—your new lover should be somebody young. He’ll bring freshness and novelty to your bed, as well as strength, vigour, and a sense of adventure.”’ He set the book down. ‘You must be older than I realised. I wouldn’t have thought you’d reached the age for a toy boy.’
‘Shows how wrong you can be,’ she teased, running her hands over the tight black satin. ‘Underneath this I’m all droop and sag.’
‘Let me check the facts.’
‘You’ve seen the facts plenty of times,’ she said, fending off his hopeful hand.
‘Not these facts, I haven’t.’
‘Well, look your fill of the outside, because that’s all you’ll ever see again.’
His eyes glinted. ‘Wanna bet?’
‘Jake! Do I look as though I was born yesterday?’
‘That’s what I’m trying to find out.’
‘I’m warning you. Keep your distance.’
‘All right. Let’s get back to the subject. Toy boy.’
‘I don’t have a toy boy—yet. I was just planning for the future.’
‘And this?’ He’d found a new source of outrage in the book. “‘If you’re tired of the old self, try a new one—or several new ones.” Oh, that’s great. How the devil are you supposed to know which “you” is on duty today?’
‘Easy. You give them each their own name.’
‘So I see. You’ve written a list of names in the margin. Yvonne—’
‘Sporty,’ Kelly said at once. ‘Likes the wind in her hair.’
‘Helena—’
‘Soulful and dreamy.’ Kelly was enjoying herself. ‘An intense inner life and a hectic imagination.’
‘Carlotta?’
‘A party animal. Always ready for a new experience.’
‘Don’t the fellers get confused?’
‘Not if you keep one personality for each man.’
He stirred his coffee, not looking at her. Suddenly he growled, ‘So which of them are you sleeping with?’
‘What?’
‘Carl, or Frank? Or the mysterious Harry who “misses you terribly”?’
‘Get lost!’
‘Or is it one of the other guys who were undressing you with his eyes tonight? Not that that would take much doing.’
‘Now you’re being offensive.’
‘No way. I like a woman who’s wise to herself. If you’ve got it, flaunt it. You’ve got it—and, boy, do you know how to flaunt it! That’s OK. You missed out a whole stage of life by marrying me, I know. I don’t begrudge you your fun.’
‘It wouldn’t make any difference if you did,’ she said pointedly.
‘Not since ten-thirty this morning.’
‘Further back than that. In fact, not since— Oh, don’t let’s go down that path again. We’d end up quarrelling and what’s the point?’
‘So you’re not going to answer my question?’
‘What question?’
‘Who are you sleeping with?’
She turned slightly, resting her arm on the back of the sofa, and smiled. ‘Mind your own business, Jake.’
He acknowledged this with a quirk of the mouth. ‘I’m still in the habit of thinking you are my business.’
‘You’ll get used to things being different,’ she told him, charming and implacable.
He allowed one finger to trail across the bare skin of her shoulder. ‘I’ll say things are different,’ he murmured, his eyes on her breasts, their shape emphasised by the shine of the black satin. ‘I could get jealous.’
The admiration in his eyes was frank, and for a moment the old Kelly, the one who jumped for joy at his slightest attention, lived again. But the new Kelly firmly sat on her. She knew every trick in Jake’s book, and once you could see the strings being pulled you were safe. Right?
With a face full of amusement she said, ‘Don’t waste your time, Jake.’
‘Sure I’m wasting my time?’
‘Quite sure.’
‘So it is one of them?’
‘You’re wasting your time again.’
He removed his hand. ‘I guess things really are different. You used to tell me everything.’
‘That was when I never had anything interesting to tell. I’d hunt around in my mind trying to find something about the house or my job that wouldn’t bore you rigid when you’d just come back from Egypt or Burundi, or wherever. Then you’d go on TV and talk about fascinating things in faraway places, and I’d think, Heavens, I told him about my argument with the dustman!’
‘Maybe I liked hearing about the dustman. It was real. It kept me down to earth.’
‘And maybe I got tired of just being your “down to earth”. You did all the flying for both of us. I was just earth-bound.’
‘I didn’t even know you tonight,’ he complained. ‘I left a librarian and I came back to the last of the red hot mommas.’
‘Not mommas,’ she said quickly. ‘Not red hot or any other kind.’
He frowned. Then her meaning hit him.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said with a sigh. ‘It slipped out without my thinking. I didn’t realise it still hurt you so much after all this time.’
‘Yes, it’s seven years ago. I should have forgotten all about it,’ she said tensely. ‘Like you.’
‘That’s not fair. I haven’t forgotten that we nearly had a child. A child I wanted very much, by the way.’
‘Yes, enough to marry me just because I was pregnant,’ she said quietly. She didn’t add what she was thinking, And that was the only reason.
Perhaps wisely, he decided not to answer this. ‘Anyway, I meant the “red hot” bit,’ he said. ‘You really set the room alight this evening. Maybe I should stand in line behind Carl and Frank, and half a dozen others.’
‘No, you were at the head of the queue, but your time has been and gone. It’s over.’
‘But how “over” can it be when people have meant that much to each other for eight years?’
‘Now you’re being sentimental,’ she said firmly. ‘You meant “that much” to me, but I meant very little to you.’
‘That’s not true.’
‘Yes, it is. Jake, this is probably the last time we’ll ever meet, so just for once let’s be totally honest. Let’s get the facts straight before we draw a line under them and move out of each other’s lives. You married me because I was pregnant and you believed in “doing the decent thing”.’
‘There was a bit more to it than that—’
‘Yes,’ she conceded, ‘you really wanted a baby. You couldn’t wait to be a father. It was one of the nicest things about you. And if I’d had the baby maybe we’d have been happy. But I didn’t. I miscarried in the fourth month, and I’ve never managed to get pregnant since.’
‘Not for lack of trying,’ he mused.
‘We tried and tried, but I guess that was my one shot and it’ll never happen again. And you still want to be a father, don’t you?’
‘It would be nice,’ he agreed after a silence. ‘But maybe it’s not meant to be.’
‘It isn’t meant to be—for us. But your next wife will probably give you a dozen.’
‘Don’t talk about my “next wife” like that. We haven’t been divorced twenty-four hours and already you’re marrying me off.’
‘I’m saying that we’ve both moved on, and that’s good.’
‘And what have you moved on to?’
‘Archaeology. I’m an academic now.’
‘And no doubt you’ll be spending your vacations on digs—with Carl. Good plan. It’ll keep the others wondering.’
Kelly merely raised her eyebrows. Jake frowned, trying to decipher that look. It threw him off balance not to be able to read her easily. Just who was this woman?
‘Enjoying yourself, are you?’ he demanded.
‘You’ve already agreed that I’m entitled to.’
‘Just be careful, that’s all. I’ve got my doubts about some of the men here tonight.’
‘I’ve got my doubts about just one,’ she riposted.
‘Hey, you really snap back at a guy these days,’ he said, nettled. ‘Except when you won’t answer him at all, that is. Faxes, e-mails, letters—you name it. I sent it, you ignored it.’
‘I didn’t ignore them all. I answered at first, but I stopped when it was clear you weren’t listening to what I said.’
‘That was because you made me mad by not letting me pay you anything. You gave up college to help out with my career. You’re entitled to a big chunk of what I make, and I’ll bet your lawyer told you the same.’
‘Oh, he’s as mad at me as you are,’ she confirmed.
‘I told him, “Anything she wants”. And you made him write back saying you didn’t want anything from me. Boy, that was a great moment! And I’ll tell you an even better one—when I found out that you’d taken a job. A real dead-end job after all the other dead-end jobs you took to help me! How can you get a good degree if you’re wearing yourself out working as well? You supported me in the lean years. You should at least let me support you through college.’
‘Why should I?’
‘Because I owe you that,’ he said angrily. ‘And I like to pay my debts.’
Kelly regarded him levelly. ‘If you think of our marriage as a debt to be paid off, then we’re further apart than I thought. You’ll never understand, will you?’
He wanted to slam something against the wall, preferably his own head. No, he didn’t understand, and he was furious with her and himself. He wasn’t trying to ‘pay her off’, only to express his gratitude and appreciation for all she’d done for him. And it had come out all wrong, as so often with him. Before a news camera he was at ease, the words pouring out in a golden flow. But with this one person he was tongue-tied and clumsy.
‘Then explain it to me,’ he said through gritted teeth.
‘What I did, I did because I loved you. We were a team. Remember how we told ourselves that?’
‘Of course I remember. But it didn’t work out much of a deal for you, did it?’
‘I wasn’t making deals,’ she said quietly. ‘I was doing something for the man I loved. What I forgot—or was too young to know—was that two people who think they’re doing the same thing never really are. Not quite.’
‘I don’t understand,’ he said flatly. ‘I never could follow when you talked like that. I’m a plain man and I see things plainly. I don’t think that was ever enough for you.’
‘I only meant that you saw our marriage differently from me.’
‘I did you an injustice,’ he said, clinging to the one thing that was clear to him. ‘And I’m trying to put it right.’
‘But you can’t put the past right. You can’t make it something it wasn’t. It’s dead and gone.’
His combative streak would have made him fight that view, but there was something melancholy about ‘dead and gone’ that silenced him. He’d never been able to cope with her subtler wits. Handling facts was easier for him, and somehow it had always been tempting to use them to evade an argument. After a while Kelly had given up trying to make him talk things through, and he’d been relieved.
Kelly gave a little sigh. ‘Oh, well,’ she said. ‘No point in arguing now.’
‘Perhaps I want to argue,’ he said illogically.
Her lips twitched. ‘Nonsense, Jake, you never wanted to argue. You just wanted me to keep quiet and agree with you. Failing agreement, keep quiet anyway.’
‘You make me sound like a monster,’ he said, appalled. ‘A bully.’
‘No,’ she said with a touch of wistfulness. ‘You weren’t either. Just a man who always thought he was right. Much like all the others, really. No worse, anyway.’
This faint praise did nothing to appease him.
‘Have you been thinking like this all the time?’ he demanded.
‘Not all of it, no. But it wasn’t much of a marriage at the end, was it?’ She began gathering cups and headed for the kitchen. ‘No, stay there.’ She stopped him rising. ‘There isn’t much.’
She wanted to get away from him. The conversation had taken a turn that she was finding hard to cope with. She should never have started talking about love with Jake. It aroused memories best forgotten.
But do I really want to forget? she asked herself wistfully. Would I wipe out the last eight years? I know they took a great deal away from me, but they gave me so much.
She remembered herself at seventeen, a schoolgirl, slightly overweight, shy, lonely, earnest, not laughing enough. She’d worked hard at school, driven by dreams of escape from the dreary little provincial town and the single mother who’d resented her. Mildred Harmon had still been in her thirties, ‘with my own life to live’, a phrase she’d used often and with meaning.
The last year at school had been punctuated by various lectures about career options. Kelly’s sights were set on a brilliant college career, but she’d attended the meeting about journalism, expecting to see Harry Buckworth, editor of the local rag, whom she knew slightly. But Harry had gone down with flu. Instead he’d sent Jake, who’d been on the paper a year.
And that was it. All over in a moment. The twenty-four-year-old Jake had been like a young god to the ultra-serious schoolgirl. Tall, lean, jeans-clad, spinning words like the devil. And such words: a fine yet powerful web of bright colours that turned the schoolroom into a magic cave. And he’d laughed. How he’d laughed! And how wonderfully rich and free it had sounded. She could have loved him for that alone.
Afterwards she’d strolled home in a dream, scheming how to meet him again, so oblivious to her surroundings that she’d collided with someone, and been halfway through her apology before she’d realised it was him.
He’d taken her for a milk shake and listened while she talked. She didn’t know what she’d said, but when they’d left the evening light had been fading and she’d returned home nervously, wondering how she would explain her absence. But the house had been empty and cold. On the kitchen table there had been a note from her mother, out with her latest boyfriend, telling her to microwave something for herself.
After that they’d seemed to bump into each other a lot, just by chance. The meetings had followed a pattern. Milk shake, talk, stroll home. Sometimes he’d helped with her school projects, looking up facts, guiding her to useful web sites, letting her bounce her ideas off him. Or he would discuss his assignments in a way that had made her feel very grown up.
Once they’d reached her home to find Mildred peering through the curtains and beckoning them in. She’d looked Jake up and down thoughtfully, and when he’d left, said to her daughter,
‘Watch out for him. You’re becoming a pretty girl.’
She didn’t know how to say that Jake had never so much as kissed her, but two weeks later, on her eighteenth birthday he finally did so, taking her into seventh heaven.
‘I was waiting for you to be old enough,’ he said.
Life was brilliant then. Mildred, evidently feeling she’d done her motherly duty, was out more than she was in, and Kelly was free to indulge her happiness.
Then Jake had lost his job.
‘I had to fire him,’ Harry explained when Kelly buttonholed him. ‘He’s a hard worker, I admit, but by golly he’s an opinionated young devil.’
‘A good journalist needs opinions,’ Kelly protested, parroting Jake. ‘And he shouldn’t be afraid to stand by them.’
‘Standing by them is one thing. Riding roughshod over everyone is another. There was this assignment, an important one—I told him how it should be handled, and he just went his own way, wouldn’t take advice. I had to be away for a day and when I came back the paper was nearly to bed. If it had gone in like that it would have offended our biggest advertiser—’
‘Advertisers!’ Kelly said scornfully.
‘That’s him talking,’ Harry said. ‘He’s brash, thoughtless, and he’s got more mouth than sense.’
And it was true, Kelly thought now, standing in her kitchen eight years later. Brash, opinionated, cocky, insufferable. When he got in front of a camera it all turned to gold, but we couldn’t have known that then. And I knew him when he wasn’t like that…
She forced herself back to reality. She’d promised herself not to hark back to the past, and it was time to be firm and drive Jake out. She returned to the living room, ready to deliver the speech that would send him away. But it died on her lips.
Jake was where she’d left him on the sofa. The jetlag had caught up with him again and he looked as if he’d passed out the moment she left him. That was how he’d always been, she reflected. He spun his web of words, he slept, he passed on. And she should have remembered that.
It was good that he’d slipped away from her yet again. It got things in perspective.
CHAPTER THREE
SHE fetched a blanket from the cupboard and gently draped it over him. Then she turned out the lights and made her way to her bedroom, but no sooner had she closed the door when a loud thump made her open it again. In the half-light from her bedroom she could see Jake on the floor.
‘Hell!’ he said, shaking his head. ‘What was that?’
‘You turned over too far and fell off the sofa,’ she said.
‘Uh-huh!’ He yawned and rubbed his eyes.
She rearranged the cushions and when he’d hoisted himself back up she began to take off his shoes. ‘Let’s get you comfortable,’ she said, swinging his legs back into position and drawing the blanket up.
‘Are you going to tuck me up?’ he asked with a grin.
In the near darkness she could discern little about his face except the mischievous gleam in his eyes. The likeness to a cheeky kid was so clear that she assumed a motherly, teasing tone. ‘Yes, I am, so you be good.’
‘I’m always good.’
‘Yeah. Sure. ’Night.’
She wasn’t sure how he did it, but one moment his arms were safely tucked under the blanket and the next they were around her waist.
‘Don’t I get a goodnight kiss?’
‘No,’ she said, although he was already pulling her near. ‘Jake, this isn’t just goodnight. It’s goodbye.’
‘A goodbye kiss, then.’
One last time couldn’t do any harm, she promised herself as he drew her closer. She was armoured against him now, and this was a good way to prove it.
The shape of his mouth was a shock. She knew it well, yet somehow it felt unfamiliar. It seemed such a long time since she’d last felt it against her own. There had been no kissing in the last weeks of their marriage. She’d seen his mouth tight with exasperation, and finally hard with anger. Now it was firmly purposeful, yet gentle, as she’d first loved it. She’d longed for that gentleness and had thought she would never know it again. Suddenly it was returned to her, like a present, and she couldn’t give it up just yet. She would enjoy it for a moment, and be strong later.
They kissed like strangers exploring new territory, intrigued, ready to be surprised, even more ready to follow the dancing light of desire. His mouth was eager against hers, even a little predatory in a way that thrilled her. Lips that were purposefully seductive, arms like steel bands, hands that were tender even as they imprisoned her: this was Jake at his most overwhelming.
Into her mind crept the unwanted memory of Craig—Craig somebody—who’d had the temerity to whisk a scoop from under Jake’s nose. He’d smiled pleasantly, stood Craig a drink, acted the good loser. But the following week he’d trumped him with a much bigger scoop that turned Craig’s story into small potatoes.
‘I’m not a good loser,’ he’d explained.
Kelly had divorced him, rejected him in the eyes of the world, made him look like a loser. No way was he going to leave without reclaiming her. Even if nobody else suspected, the two of them would know, and that would be enough for him.
So the moment to be strong was now. Not later, now. And she would manage it—in just a moment. Something in the movements of his lips was making her resolution slip away. His tongue teased her, flickering against her mouth, urging her not to be a spoilsport. It began to seem ridiculous not to do something she really wanted so much, and suddenly her mouth was open to him, inviting him to explore, for his own delight and hers.
The tip of his tongue, wickedly caressing her inner cheek, sent delicious tremors through her. Too late for caution now, she thought, challenging him back. Wherever this led, she had no choice but to follow. She moved in slowly, taking control of the kiss, surprising him. She could feel his astonishment in her flesh, in her bones.
After a few minutes of intense mutual enjoyment he drew away, regarding her. His eyebrows were raised, giving him a quizzical look.
‘Hmm,’ he said, considering. ‘Yvonne? Helena?’
She drew a swift breath. ‘Carlotta,’ she said, greatly daring.
‘Well, that’s what I thought—hoped—because she sounds such an interesting lady.’
‘You don’t know just how interesting,’ she murmured with a little chuckle. ‘Not that she lets everyone in on the secret.’
‘Always ready for a new experience,’ he repeated her words from earlier in the evening.
‘Ready for anything,’ she confirmed.
Jake took her at her word, letting his hands drift very slowly over her body, thinly covered in tight black satin. A few brief touches were enough to confirm his suspicions that she wore nothing underneath, but there was no way he was stopping at brief touches. A woman dressed like this for only one reason: to tempt a man to undress her. That was fine, as long as he was the man.
Kelly was holding her breath as he explored her shape. They had made love so often before but, by the way he was causing her to feel, this could have been the first time. She knew he was relishing her as almost a different woman, which made him different in his turn.
When he touched her top, seeking for a way to open it, she helped him by finding the little silver button that connected with the zip. Slowly he drew it down, revealing the soft swell of her breasts, then tossed the top away, releasing them completely to his entranced gaze.
For a moment he laid his face between her breasts, while she clasped her hands behind his head. The first flicker of his tongue against her skin was so subtle that she barely felt it. But it came again and again, growing more intent with each movement so that she arched her back, inviting him, offering herself to him with movements that he couldn’t possibly mistake.
When she felt the tip of his tongue curl about one peaked nipple she let out a long, long sigh of bliss and threw her arms high over her head.
‘What do you want?’ he murmured against her skin.
‘You know what I want.’
‘Tell me.’
‘I want—everything.’ She could hardly speak the words for the excitement streaming through her.
He rose upright, his hands on her waist, so that she was lifted high above him. He lowered her a little so that her breasts touched his face again, and carried her like that to her bed, kneeling on it and cradling her as she slipped down onto the sheet. Urgent fingers moved against her skin and she felt the trouser suit sliding down past her waist, her hips, down until he could toss it away and reveal her nakedness.
His own clothes followed fast, leaving her in no doubt of one thing. His control was vanishing fast. He wanted her beyond thought or reason, and it was no surprise when he slipped quickly between her thighs and claimed her vigorously. It had been so long since they’d lain together that it was only when Kelly felt him inside her that she knew how badly she wanted him. For a few blinding minutes she blissfully gave as good as she got, satisfying a body that had been starved of passion and letting out a long sigh of fulfilment when her moment came.
The sensation was so intense that she closed her eyes for several minutes while her head swam. Her heart was beating violently and she lay still for several minutes as her whole body calmed down. It was like sleeping and yet not sleeping. She was somewhere else, watching herself as if from a distance, wondering if this could be dull little Kelly who’d lost her husband because she bored him.
When she opened her eyes she found Jake had left her and was standing, naked, by the window. For a brief moment she felt abandoned, then something about the tension of his body made her realise that this was different. His head rested against the window frame, and she had just enough of a sideways view to see that his eyes were focused on a far distance deep inside himself.
That in itself was curious. Jake had never been a man for introspection. He’d always said that the outside world kept him fully occupied. Analysing, wondering about himself—these weren’t his style. It had been an article of faith with the young Kelly that her adored Jake wasn’t afraid of anything. Otherwise she might have thought he was afraid to know who he was.
But she couldn’t think of that. Now she was the one who pushed thoughts aside to enjoy the purely physical. She was still suffused with delight from the best sex she’d ever enjoyed, and its glow transformed the world. She leaned back against the pillows, revelling in the sight of Jake’s long, straight back, narrow hips and taut buttocks. There was so much power in those hips, she thought with a little remembering smile: power to drive into her again and again, sending the pleasure mounting to unimaginable heights.
She let her eyes drift over him, lingering on his thighs, lean but muscular, tense with whipcord strength. The brash, eager boy she’d loved had grown into somebody else, just as the Kelly of old had gone for ever. In her place was a woman capable of regarding a man from one simple, basic angle, and sizing him up critically.
And he passed the most critical test, she had to admit, smiling even more broadly.
So far.
For she had more tests in store for him. This was no longer lovemaking, if it had ever been. This was something she’d thought never to experience with Jake—sex for the sake of it. Simple erotic enjoyment with no purpose except sensual delight, and the enjoyment of new experience.
She slipped quietly out of bed and padded across the room until she was just behind him. When she rested her fingers lightly on his back he raised his head, but didn’t turn it. Kelly’s touch drifted softly down the length of his back until it reached the base of his spine, paused for a moment, then continued purposefully. She let her fingers wander where they would, advancing and retreating, feeling his mounting desire, playing with it.
He half turned but she prevented him. ‘No,’ she whispered against the warm skin of his back. ‘I’ll let you know when.’
Her fingers had reached the front and were engaged on skilful work. She could feel that he was ready for her again. Vigorous as his exertions had been, she could bring him back to life, and the knowledge thrilled her.
‘I thought you were still asleep,’ he murmured.
‘Do you still think so?’ she said, pressing herself against him so that he could feel the hard peaks of her nipples against his back.
‘I don’t know what to think. Perhaps you’re a phantom.’
‘Could a phantom do this?’ she asked, making frisky movements across his chest with her fingers. ‘And this?’ she added, enjoying his groan and the way he pressed back against her so that her hands slid down again, found their target, homed in. ‘Or this?’
‘What the devil are you doing?’ he demanded huskily.
‘Proving that I’m no phantom. On the contrary, I’m very, very physical.’
‘You sure as hell are,’ he gasped, relishing the devastating skill that had taken him by surprise. ‘No woman—that I know—could do that!’
‘That’s right—no woman that you know,’ she agreed. Here was the best part of this delightful game. The selves they were tonight had no past and no future. They had come out of nowhere and tomorrow would dissolve into nothing. But tonight they existed, and felt, and burned with desire. It was heady magic.
She wondered how long he would stand there, letting her work on him, and she soon had her answer. With a groan that showed her that she’d got the better of him, he twisted swiftly around and claimed the initiative.
‘Ready for anything?’ he muttered against her lips.
‘I think I could give you a surprise or two.’
But just now he was surprising her, and she was loving it. In their marriage Jake had always been a tender, considerate lover. But now there was nothing tender in his grasp, and not much that was considerate as he pulled her down onto the bed in a way that brooked no argument. He parted her legs and was inside her swiftly, sending fierce waves of piercing heat and light through her. After the first shock she wrapped her legs about him and drove back, as hot and wild as he, and as demanding. She had been made for this, and it was only now that she knew.
After the first fierce drive he made his movements slower, and so did she, so that they teased each other with delay. Kelly was astonished at her own control. It seemed to come from an unexplored region in her, perhaps the same place where grief had lived and endured until finally endurance was too much.
She’d thought she knew her own nature—sedate, modest, long-suffering, but not sparky or adventurous. Now she was astonished to discover a tiny imp of resentment, almost revenge, as though her searing sexuality was telling him, So there!
If so it was reprehensible, but there was no doubt it was giving him something to think about.
When they’d fought each other to a standstill, and he was breathing heavily, he reached swiftly over and switched on the bedside lamp.
‘I want to look at you,’ he said.
At once she rose and knelt on the bed, stretching her arms high so that her small, firm breasts were shown for his delectation. Those lost pounds were a godsend, she thought, as she swayed this way and that, displaying herself to him, as shameless as a wood nymph.
‘Is that what you wanted to see?’ she asked wickedly.
‘It’s more than my best hope. Woman, do you know that you’re not safe?’
She laughed. ‘It’s too late now to be worrying about that!’
‘That is sheer provocation,’ he declared, clasping his hands about her waist, where they almost met.
There was a glint in his eye that was intriguing her more every moment. Glancing down his length, she saw that she’d done him an injustice. Resisting his attempts to toss her onto her back, she moved over him.
‘There’s more than one new experience,’ she teased, easing herself into position and enjoying the shock on his face. ‘Relax, enjoy.’
‘I’d like to know where you learned to do this,’ he growled, gasping a little between words.
She leaned down and whispered softly in his ear. ‘That’s none of your business.’
It was incredible what you could learn from books these days, but she wasn’t going to tell him that. How good it was to feel him inside her in a different way, newly thrilling, an unexpected kind of excitement. And, most wonderful of all, to gaze down on his face, and see by its thunderstruck look that, for once, the ‘little woman’ hadn’t done just as he would have predicted.
At last it was over and she flung herself down beside him, feeling as though she could laugh with the gods.
One thought pervaded her. He might think he’d reclaimed her, but in truth she had reclaimed him, and with him, her freedom.
Now she could let him go.
The room was brilliant with the light of morning, and she sat up sharply, awake, cold, clear-headed and exasperated with herself. The sight of Jake’s sleeping form beside her made her groan.
What had she done? She might have guessed he’d try a trick like this. He was piqued that she’d divorced him, so he’d set out to prove he could carry her back to bed anyway. Now she was a scalp on his belt.
It didn’t matter that she’d just enjoyed the best sex with him that she’d ever known. It had been blinding, ecstatic, wonderful. Of course it had. Last night he’d seen her as a new woman, in demand among men, and the predator in him had jumped to the head of the queue.
She slipped out of bed, put on a robe and went into the kitchen, seemingly occupied, but actually straining her ears for the sound of him, and at last she heard him pad barefoot across her front room. She looked around, smiling brightly.
‘Breakfast coming up,’ she sang out. ‘Have this to be going on with.’ She pressed a mug of coffee into his hand.
‘How are you?’ he asked, watching her carefully.
‘Wonderful, considering that party. I thought I might have a hangover, but I’m fine.’
‘I don’t think you drank very much.’
‘Just a little bit tipsy,’ she said untruthfully.
‘Then you’ve changed. You never used to drink much.’
‘I never used to go in for one-night stands either, but for you I made an exception, for old times’ sake.’
‘That was nice of you,’ he said quietly.
‘Well, you owed me some fun after sending Carl and Frank away before I made up my mind about them.’
Jake took a swift breath. ‘Don’t talk like that.’
‘Hey, lighten up,’ she chided. ‘It was great. And it was the perfect way to end our marriage. No hard feelings and a good time was had by all.’ A horrid thought seemed to strike her. ‘Jake, you did have a good time, didn’t you?’
‘I had an incredible time,’ he said quietly. ‘I hadn’t realised you’d grown so—skilled.’
He seemed to be trying to read her face, but Kelly blocked his enquiring eyes with a bland smile that concealed how hard her heart was beating.
‘You’re right, Kelly,’ he said at last. ‘You’re a new woman. I hadn’t quite understood that. I suppose I still saw you in the old way, but not any more. Your life’s your own now. You took it back, and you’re going to make it whatever you want.’
‘Best for both of us,’ she said.
‘Yeah! Best for both of us. It’s just that I—’
She held herself tense for what he would say next. Almost as though it mattered. He seemed to be struggling with the words, but soon he would say them, and she would know…
Then his face changed as he saw something over her shoulder, and everything vanished from his expression but horror. ‘Oh, ye gods!’ he yelled, his eyes on the clock. ‘The time! Look at the time.’
‘It’s just past ten. Why?’
‘I need a cab ten minutes ago. Who can I call?’
‘I’ll do it.’
‘I have to catch the midday flight or my name will be mud.’
She would never know now what he might have said. The next few minutes were taken up with calling the cab, while he dressed frantically. He finished just as her doorbell rang.
‘’Bye,’ he said, kissing her cheek on the run. ‘There’s a present for you on the bed. Combined Christmas and house-warming.’
The gift was a watch, made of platinum and studded with tiny diamonds. It was the sort of thing a man might buy in the duty free shop at an airport when he was running out of time. Kelly was an expert in that sort of gift because Jake had always bought her one when he returned home from the other side of the world, and she’d never told him how lonely she was when he was away, because it would have been churlish to complain to a man who’d bought her a costly gift. Besides, she’d been almost as lonely when he was there.
But this was different. There was no need for him to have bought her anything, and the gesture touched her. Smiling, she looked around at the room where he’d so lately been.
Then her smile faded as she saw how empty it was, a bleak emptiness that seeped into her heart until it felt like a stone crushing her.
CHAPTER FOUR
KELLY had approached college prepared to discover that her brain was rusty, and she’d been fooling herself for years. Instead she found the course fascinating and easy to follow. The tutors praised her work and she was popular with them and her fellow students. In many ways this was the ideal college life of her dreams.
The only fly in the ointment was the need to work to make ends meet. She’d taken a bank loan to cover most of the fees, and worked three evenings a week in a small café. It was proving more tiring than she’d thought. At the end of the day she longed to return to her little home instead of spending the evening inhaling greasy odours and being rushed off her feet.
Perhaps she should have taken up Jake’s offer of financial help so that she could leave the job and never again have to smell cooking oil, which was making her nauseous these days. Working at the café hadn’t been so terrible before, but meeting Jake again seemed to have left her in a strange mood. Her normally equable temper had been replaced by an irritability that could flare into annoyance without warning.
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