The Marriage Solution
Brenda Harlen
It happened one night… Tess Lucas had carefully planned every detail of her life, determined to create the happiness she’d craved since childhood. But a broken engagement led to a one-night stand with her best friend – and a baby! Wealthy playboy Craig Richmond never planned to be a husband or a father – until Tess told him she was pregnant. He knew marriage was the best way to guarantee their baby had a real family – and to finally realise his long-hidden feelings for his oldest friend.But Tess refused to settle for a marriage of convenience – she wanted the fairy tale. And to win her heart, Craig would have to prove he was the one man who could give her everything she’d ever wanted…
He’d got exactly what he wanted.
For weeks he’d been trying to deny the attraction between him and Tess, focusing his efforts on courting her and trying not to think about the night they’d made love. His proposal might have been motivated by a desire to give his baby a family, but now that they were married, he found himself wanting more.
And right now he wanted Tess in his bed.
She’d finally agreed to marry him so that their baby could have a full-time father. Their marriage was a means to an end. So why wasn’t he happy?
Because he wanted more. He wanted it all.
He almost laughed out loud. He had a challenging and rewarding career, a beautiful home in the suburbs, a child on the way. What else was there?
Love.
For Neill, the man I love
and who also happens to be my best friend.
And for Jamie, with thanks.
BRENDA HARLEN
grew up in a small town surrounded by books and imaginary friends. Although she always dreamed of being a writer, she chose to follow a more traditional career path first. After two years of practising as a lawyer (including an appearance in front of the Supreme Court of Canada), she gave up her “real” job to be a mum and to try her hand at writing books. Three years, five manuscripts and another baby later, she sold her first book – an RWA Golden Heart Winner.
Brenda lives in Southern Ontario with her real- life husband/hero, two heroes-in-training and two neurotic dogs. She is still surrounded by books (“too many books,” according to her children) and imaginary friends, but she also enjoys communicating with “real” people. Readers can contact Brenda by e-mail at brendaharlen@ yahoo.com
Dear Reader,
I’m always amazed by the unexpected consequences that result from seemingly ordinary events. An example from my own life is when I met Jamie in university. We played baseball together, shared a couple of classes and then he invited me to a party. An ordinary event…
Five years later, I married a man I met at that party. Unexpected (and very happy) consequences…
Tess Lucas and Craig Richmond are two longtime friends trying to get their relationship back on track after spending the night together. But the events of that ordinary night (OK, it was better than ordinary – after all, Craig is the hero) have unexpected consequences.
Now Tess is pregnant and there are some serious decisions to be made. He wants to get married; she doesn’t. At least they both agree on one thing: falling in love is NOT an option.
They are about to find out that sometimes the most unexpected and extraordinary things do happen.
I hope you enjoy their story.
Best,
Brenda Harlen
The Marriage Solution
BRENDA HARLEN
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Chapter One
Craig Richmond tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for the door to open. He knew Tess was home— he’d called first to make sure, determined that her campaign of avoidance was about to come to an end. He wasn’t going to let their fifteen-year friendship fall apart just because they’d made the mistake of sleeping together.
Not that he thought it was a mistake. More like a long-denied fantasy finally realized. But Tess obviously regretted making love with him. And while he was disappointed that there wouldn’t be a repeat performance of their one night together, he wasn’t going to abandon everything they meant to one another because of it. Tonight they were going to talk about what happened and find a way to move past it.
At last the door opened and she was there.
He drank in the sight of her, from the dark, slightly tousled hair, wide eyes the color of a clear summer sky and temptingly full lips, moving lower, lingering a moment in appreciation of her feminine curves before following the endless length of shapely legs.
He’d been angry that she was ignoring his calls, hurt that she was shutting him out, but mostly he’d been lonely without his best friend. He’d missed her smile and her laughter, her warmth and compassion. He’d missed talking to her and just being with her. And because he’d missed her friendship so much, he was determined to ignore the desire that stirred whenever he was with her— as he’d ignored it for so many years already.
He met her gaze, saw the confusion and awkwardness he felt reflected in her eyes and forced a smile. “Hi.”
“Hi,” she replied to his greeting.
He waited for her to step back and invite him inside, but she remained on the threshold, barring his entry.
He shifted the takeout bag he carried from one hand to the other. “Can I come in?”
She hesitated a moment before she responded, “I told you on the phone that this isn’t really a good time.”
“There hasn’t been a good time for the past several weeks,” he pointed out. “And I’m not leaving until we’ve had a chance to talk. So we can talk here, in the hallway, or you can invite me in to share my Pad Thai.”
“I’m not very hungry.” But she finally stepped away from the door and let him in.
Craig went directly to the kitchen, as comfortable in her apartment as he was in his own, and took two plates from the cupboard. Tess hovered uncertainly behind him as he divided up the noodles. He glanced back at her, noted the pallor of her cheeks and the dark smudges under her eyes that had escaped his initial scrutiny. He wondered if memories of their lovemaking had been keeping her awake at night, too, and derived a certain amount of satisfaction from that thought.
“Let’s eat,” he said, carrying the plates to the table.
She sat across from him, eyed the meal warily.
He frowned at her obvious lack of interest, but determinedly dug into his food. Several minutes passed in silence while he ate and Tess poked at her noodles. Then he heard her fork clatter against the plate. He looked over and saw that her cheeks weren’t just pale now, they were tinged with green.
“Tess—”
Before he could say anything else, she shoved back her chair and raced down the hall. He heard the slam of the bathroom door and the muted, yet unmistakable sound, of retching.
He pushed his own plate away, his own stomach feeling a little unsettled now, too. Maybe Tess had a touch of the flu that was going around.
Or maybe there was another explanation for both her physical symptoms and her determination to avoid him since the night they’d had sex and the condom broke. Maybe she was pregnant.
Tess Lucas stared at the pink cardboard box in Craig’s hand and felt her cheeks flush the same color. Last night, he’d shown up at her apartment with dinner. Today, it was a pregnancy test.
She closed her eyes, as if that would make the box— and the possibility—go away.
She’d been feeling tired and nauseous for a couple of weeks now, but had assumed she had probably caught some virus. And the tenderness in her breasts was likely an indication that she was about to get her period. Because she was going to get her period—any day now, she was sure. Then she could stop worrying about the possible repercussions of faulty latex.
Unfortunately, when she opened her eyes again the box—and Craig—were still there.
She took the package from his outstretched hand and moved into the living room, dropping it on the coffee table before sinking into her favorite overstuffed chair. Craig followed her into the room but remained standing.
“That isn’t quite what I expected you to do with it,” he said dryly.
“What did you expect?”
“That you’d be as anxious as I am to know the truth.”
“The truth is that it’s been a long week and I don’t have the energy to jump to conclusions like you’re doing.” She’d been trying for casual, but the strain in her voice was obvious to her own ears.
“I’m not jumping to any conclusions yet,” he responded in a tone that was infinitely patient and reasonable.
Of course, Craig was always patient and reasonable, calm and unflappable. It was one of reasons he was such an effective vice president at Richmond Pharmaceuticals, the family-owned company he would run someday.
Tess couldn’t even fake that kind of control. She couldn’t pretend that the possibility of pregnancy didn’t terrify her. She wanted children—someday. But not now and not like this. She felt her stomach rising again and drew in a deep breath, trying to will the nausea away.
“Please, Tess. Take the test.”
“Why are you doing this?” she asked wearily.
“Because I think it would be better to know for sure than to sit around worrying about it,” he told her.
“Well, I don’t.” She didn’t care if she sounded unreasonable to him. She didn’t want to know the truth; she didn’t want to think about how completely and irrevocably a baby would change her life.
“You need to find out,” he said gently. “So that you can consider your options.”
“I’m twenty-nine years old—I know what my options are. And if I’m pregnant, I’ll have the baby.” Although she strongly believed that a woman had the right to make her own decisions about her body, she had no doubt what hers would be.
Craig nodded toward the table, to the pregnancy test she’d tossed aside. “Why don’t you take the test, then we’ll know?”
As much as she hated to admit it, she knew he was right. He usually was. She grabbed the box and took it to the bathroom.
Her heart was pounding, her head was spinning and she felt as though she was going to throw up. Again.
She closed the door behind her and pried open the end of the box with trembling fingers. The contents spilled out onto the counter: one page of instructions and a foil-wrapped plastic stick. It certainly looked harmless enough, not like something that had the power to change her whole life.
And, of course, it didn’t. Her life—or at least her relationship with Craig—had been changed by her own actions.
The attraction had been there from the beginning—at least on Tess’s part. A shy teenager, she’d developed an almost painful crush on him. But she’d kept her adolescent dreams locked deep inside and they’d become friends. Now almost fifteen years of friendship were in jeopardy because of one night of insanity.
Not that everything had changed in that one night. There had been subtle shifts in their relationship over the years—casual flirtations and occasional tensions. But they’d mostly managed to ignore those undercurrents for the sake of their friendship. Until the night they’d made love.
She’d hoped they might somehow manage to get past what had happened, but she wasn’t optimistic. Not when the mere sight of his mouth brought back memories of his lips moving over her body and the most casual touch reminded her of his hands caressing her bare skin. How could they possibly resume any kind of platonic relationship when she couldn’t forget that she’d been naked with him—and couldn’t stop wanting to get naked with him again?
But right now the awkwardness between them was the least of her worries. More important, was deciding what she was going to do about her future. Because she didn’t need the test to tell her the truth she’d been trying so hard to deny, that she’d known deep inside for almost two weeks now. And the truth was that the tiny being she carried in her womb—Craig’s baby—had already taken firm hold of her heart.
But he would want the proof, so she peed on the stick and waited. And while she waited, her mind wandered and worried.
She didn’t know what his thoughts and plans were with respect to having a family—except that he’d recently broken up with the latest in a seemingly unending string of girlfriends because she’d been hinting about the future and he wasn’t ready to commit to anything further than a week away. And while Tess had always dreamed of having children one day, she’d also hoped to have a husband—someone with whom to share the joys and responsibilities of raising children. After finding her fiancé in their bed with his ex-wife, she accepted that that was another dream that wouldn’t be a reality. She would have this baby on her own and make whatever adjustments were necessary to her life to be the best single mother she could be.
She stared at her watch as the final seconds ticked away.
Then she took a deep breath, wiped her hands down the front of her skirt and picked up the plastic stick. According to the instructions, if there was only one line in the window, she wasn’t pregnant; if there were two lines, she was.
She turned the stick over.
One.
Two.
Her knees suddenly buckled and she sank down onto the edge of the bathtub.
She was going to have a baby.
She was overwhelmed.
Terrified.
And just a little bit excited.
A baby.
Tess didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, but she knew that nothing in her life would ever be the same.
* * *
How long did the damn test take?
It was the question that dogged his heels as Craig paced across the tile floor of Tess’s kitchen.
There had been a whole shelf of pregnancy tests in the pharmacy and he’d read the directions on every single one, wanting to make an informed choice, to make this difficult process a little easier for both of them. As if anything could. But he was certain he’d at least picked the box that promised the quickest response.
Who knew that two minutes could seem like an eternity?
Or maybe Tess was still balking at taking the test. Maybe she wasn’t ready to face the results.
He couldn’t blame her for being scared. Since he’d first acknowledged the possibility that she might be pregnant with his child twenty-four hours earlier, he’d felt as though there was a vice gripping his chest— an increasing pressure that stole his breath at unexpected moments.
After the end of his brief and regrettable engagement more than a year and a half earlier, he’d been careful not to make any promises or commitments to the women he dated. He’d certainly never contemplated fathering a child with any of them. A baby was the ultimate responsibility—a lifelong commitment—and one that he had no intention of taking on. Ever.
He refused to bring an unwanted child into the world—refused to give any woman that kind of weapon to wield against him in battles about custody and access and child support. No way. He knew only too well what it was like to be that weapon and he’d decided the only way to ensure the same thing would never happen to any child of his own was to never have children.
So he’d always been careful about birth control, determined to protect any woman he was with as much as himself. And while he was aware that no method of contraception was one hundred percent effective, he’d never before had a condom break.
The fact that it had happened with Tess both relieved and frustrated him. He knew she didn’t sleep around, so the only potential repercussion to worry about was pregnancy. But that was a huge worry, not just because he wasn’t ready—and might never be ready—to be a father, but because he hated to think how an unplanned pregnancy would affect Tess’s life. She was his friend, his confidante—the one woman who meant more to him than any other—and he’d failed to take care of her.
He winced at the selfishness of his own actions. He’d known immediately that something had happened, but he didn’t pull out. It felt too good to be inside her, deep in the warm heat of her body. And then her legs had wrapped around him, her fingernails had dug into his shoulders and he’d been helpless to do anything but follow the urging of his body and drive them both to the finish.
He shoved his hands into his pockets as he continued to pace. The last thing he needed to be thinking about right now was making love with Tess, but as hard as he tried, he couldn’t seem to banish the memories. And if he couldn’t think about that night without guilt and remorse, he also couldn’t forget how perfect everything had been up to that moment when he’d realized the condom had broke. He couldn’t sleep without dreaming of her and then he’d wake and ache with desires.
He’d known having sex with her would change their friendship and he’d expected a certain amount of awkwardness. But he hadn’t expected that he wouldn’t be able to look at her without wanting to get her into his bed again.
He forced the tempting picture from his mind and glanced at his watch.
She must have finished the test by now.
The sound of her shoes clicking softly on the tile seconds before she stepped into view confirmed that she had.
Her eyes were wide, her cheeks white, her lips pressed tightly together.
Despite her obvious distress, he felt some of the pressure inside his chest ease. Maybe it was strange, but he’d found the not knowing worse than the truth. Now, at least they could face their future.
“We’re going to have a baby,” he said.
She nodded slowly.
He wanted to take her in his arms, to reassure her that they were in this together. But he suspected that she wouldn’t appreciate the overture, especially since it was his desire to comfort her that had led to another kind of desire and landed them in this current predicament.
She moved past him into the kitchen and he caught a whiff of her scent, something subtly fruity and distinctly Tess. He felt the stir of desire again, immediately followed by a stab of guilt at the realization he was lusting after his best friend—the woman who was pregnant with his child.
She opened the fridge and pulled out a can of ginger ale. “Do you want one?”
“Sure,” he agreed.
She passed him the can and took another out for herself, popped the top. Her hands, he noted, weren’t quite steady and her complexion had taken on the slightly green tinge he recognized from last night’s incident with the Pad Thai.
“Are you going to be sick?” he asked.
“I hope not.” She took a long swallow of her soda. “But someone needs to fix this baby’s internal clock because my supposed ‘morning’ sickness usually seems to strike in the evening.”
“Has it been very bad?” he asked, both curious and concerned.
She shook her head. “I can’t complain. I remember my sister was sick all day during the first few months of her pregnancy with Becca.”
“I’m sorry, Tess.”
“About what—the nausea or my pregnancy?”
“Both,” he admitted.
“Don’t be,” she said. “Even though this wasn’t planned, I want this baby.”
“What can I do?”
Her smile was wry. “You’ve already done your part.”
“As I recall, we did that part together.”
“You’re right.” She dropped her gaze as her cheeks colored. While Tess had always been frustrated by her blushing, he’d always been fascinated by it. She was a smart, savvy professional woman, and yet the pinking of her cheeks hinted at an innocence that was surprisingly arousing and incredibly tempting.
“And we’ll do the rest together,” he said. “I’m not going to leave you to deal with this on your own.”
“I am on my own and I can manage this pregnancy on my own.”
He should have guessed that was how she’d approach this. Strong, capable, independent Tess—she didn’t need anyone or anything. As she was constantly reminding him whenever he made the mistake of offering to help. Her independence was one of the things he admired about her even when it frustrated the hell out of him.
But this time, he wouldn’t let her cut him out of the equation. It was, after all, his baby she was carrying and he was determined to find a solution that would work for all of them. “We could get married.”
Tess stared at him, clearly stunned by his suggestion.
Okay, he was a little surprised, too. He didn’t know where those words had come from, had no clue that such an idea would pop out of his mouth. But now that it had, he realized it was, in some ways, a logical response to the situation. A baby deserved to be loved and cared for by both parents, and marrying Tess would ensure that they’d both be involved in their child’s life.
Since his close call with Lana, the mere thought of committing himself to any one woman for the rest of his life was enough to make him break out in hives. Yet here he was not just thinking it but saying it. Out loud.
He tugged at his tie, swallowed.
Tess seemed to recover from her shock first, because she laughed.
He frowned.
“I’m almost tempted to say ‘yes’,” she told him. “Just to see if your face could possibly get any whiter.”
“Instinctive reaction to the M-word,” he admitted.
She smiled gently. “I know.”
“That’s no reason to laugh off the suggestion.” And now that he’d spoken the word out loud—without choking on it—he found the idea taking root in his mind.
“You’re kidding, right?”
“We’re going to have a baby. Why shouldn’t we get married?”
“Is that a question or a proposal?” she asked. “Because if it’s a question, I can give you a thousand reasons why we shouldn’t get married. And if it’s a proposal, the answer’s no.”
“A thousand reasons?” he challenged, both relieved and annoyed by her automatic refusal.
“Starting with the fact that you don’t want to get married,” she reminded him.
She was right. He could hardly deny it now when he’d told her exactly that when he’d broken up with Lana and repeated it numerous times since then.
The truth was, he loved women—blondes, brunettes, redheads. He loved the way they looked and the way they moved, their scents and their softness. He loved everything about them, but he’d never fallen in love with any of them.
Tess believed the scars from his mother’s abandonment prevented him from opening his heart, and maybe there was something to that. When Charlene Richmond walked out of her husband’s home she’d abandoned not just her marriage but her children. One day she was there and the next she was gone, and he’d been devastated.
She came back a few months later, claiming to want the sons she’d left behind, but Craig had already learned not to trust too easily or love too deeply.
“Maybe I’ve changed my mind about marriage,” he said to Tess now.
She shook her head. “I need you to be my friend more than I need a husband, Craig.”
“I am your friend.” He took her hands in his, linked their fingers together. “That doesn’t mean I can’t be more.”
“Anything more will only complicate the situation.”
“It seems to me the situation is already complicated.”
She unlaced their hands and stepped away from him.
“You could at least give it some consideration,” he said.
“No,” she said again.
“You’re being unreasonable, Tess.”
She didn’t think so. Unreasonable had been going home with Craig, kissing him, touching him, falling into bed with him. Now she was facing the consequences of those impulsive actions and she was determined to do so rationally and reasonably. She’d expected that he, of all people, would appreciate a logical approach to the situation. “I don’t expect anything from you, Craig.”
“Why the hell not?” he demanded.
She blinked at the anger in his tone. “Because…I’m not going to hold you responsible for something that was my fault.”
“Do I have to remind you again that we made this baby together?”
“You know what I mean,” she said, ignoring the heat that infused her cheeks. She certainly didn’t need him to remind her of the night they’d made love—the night their baby had been conceived.
“No, I don’t.”
She sighed. “We both know that what happened that night only happened because you were feeling sorry for me.”
He placed a finger under her chin, forced her to look at him. “Do you actually believe that?”
Uh-oh. This was dangerous. The simple touch set every nerve ending in her body on full alert and the way he was looking at her now had her hormones rocketing.
She’d often thought a woman would have to be blind not to notice his obvious good looks, and Tess’s almost perfect vision allowed her to fully appreciate the sun- kissed golden highlights in his dark blond hair, the deep brown eyes fringed with gloriously long lashes, the wide, full mouth that quirked easily into a grin, and the strong, square chin that held just the hint of a dimple. Then there was the body: six feet four inches of lean, solid and dangerously sexy male.
She’d known Craig since she was in junior high— he’d been in high school, an assistant coach of her baseball team and a basketball player himself. His wiry body had filled out since then. His shoulders were broader now, his muscles firmer.
But Craig Richmond was a lot more than a terrific face and gorgeous body. There was an aura about him, a confidence bordering on arrogance and the sheer force of his personality drew her even as her common sense warned her to stay far away. And now, just the touch of his hand on her chin was enough to send her pulse racing.
She knew he was waiting for an answer, but she couldn’t even remember the question. God help her, he’d simply touched her and her mind had gone blank.
“Do you really think I made love to you out of pity?” he asked.
She swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. “Didn’t you?”
He smiled, a slow, sexy curving of his lips that caused her heart to trip over itself. “No.”
The single word skimmed over her like a caress— teasing, tempting. She forced herself to pull away from him. She couldn’t afford to let her hormones overrule her common sense, not again.
“We made love that night because it was what we both wanted,” he reminded her.
She closed her eyes, trying to shut out the all too vivid memories. She didn’t want to remember how incredible it had been, the way she’d responded to Craig’s kisses, his touch. The way their bodies had come together, naturally, instinctively, as if they’d been made for each other. Even as she’d moved beneath him, she’d been painfully aware that no one had ever made her feel the way he did, and she knew that no one else ever would. Because no one else knew her like Craig did, no one understood her as he did. And the realization terrified her.
“I threw myself at you,” Tess said miserably. “I was feeling rejected and alone. I needed someone that night and you were there.”
His eyes narrowed. “Don’t pretend it wasn’t personal, because I don’t believe that for a minute. The attraction has been building for a long time—since the kiss we shared under the mistletoe last Christmas, if not longer.”
“That kiss didn’t mean anything,” she lied.
He propped a hip against the counter and quirked a brow. “Wanna try it now—so I can prove you wrong?”
“No,” she responded quickly.
His lips curved.
She crossed the room, needing to put some distance between them. This trek down memory lane wasn’t doing any good and it certainly wasn’t helping to solve her current dilemma.
“Friendship and chemistry are both solid foundations for a relationship,” he said. “And if we got married, our baby would have a real family.”
He almost sounded like he meant it—as if he wanted to marry her and be a father to their child. And though she wished, more than anything, that she could give her baby a family, she couldn’t do it like this. Marrying Craig for all the wrong reasons wouldn’t be right for any of them.
“It’s the twenty-first century,” she reminded him. “Our child won’t be ostracized by society because his parents never married.”
She couldn’t believe they were even having this conversation. All this talk about marriage and family from a man who wouldn’t date any woman for more than a month in case she got ideas about commitment, was making her head spin. Obviously her pregnancy had shaken both of them.
“Can we both just take a step back?” she suggested. “Let the reality sink in before we make any definite plans for the future?”
For a moment she thought he was going to refuse, but then he asked, “How far back?”
“I don’t know. I know there are a lot of decisions to be made, but I need time.” She looked up at him, silently pleading with him to understand. “I don’t want to screw this up. I don’t want to ruin our baby’s life by making bad choices.”
“You won’t.”
“How do you know?” she asked, her words less of a challenge than a plea for reassurance. “How am I supposed to know what’s the right thing to do?”
“We’ll figure it out together.”
“I wasn’t sure—after that night…”
“What?” he prompted gently.
She just shook her head.
“Why are you so determined to forget how spectacular we were together that night?”
She looked away from the heat in his eyes and tried to ignore the answering warmth that spread through her body. Spectacular didn’t begin to describe the night she’d spent in his arms. “Because remembering won’t do us any good.”
“Don’t you think physical compatibility is important in a marriage?”
“I think you should have your head examined.”
“Why won’t you at least consider it?” he challenged.
“Because I still have a dress hanging in my closet as a memento of the last man who promised to love me forever.”
She saw the shadows pass over his face, like clouds blocking out the sun. “I won’t make you any promises I can’t keep,” he said. “But I will take care of you and our baby and I will be faithful.”
She felt as if her heart was breaking—not just because she wanted more than he was offering, but because he believed he wasn’t capable of giving more. She had faith in the healing power of love, but Craig’s statement proved that the scars left by his mother’s abandonment still hadn’t healed and she had to wonder if they ever would. And she refused to set herself up for heartbreak by marrying someone who couldn’t love her.
“We made this baby together,” he continued when she didn’t respond. “And we should share that responsibility. Not just for the next eight months, but forever.”
Then he kissed her lightly on the cheek and walked out.
Chapter Two
Two weeks later, after the shock had worn off and he’d had time to think, Craig kept circling back to the same place. Maybe marriage and a baby weren’t a lifelong dream of his, but he owed it to Tess—and their baby—to do the right thing. And as much as he racked his brain for another solution, he’d started to believe that marriage was the best one.
He wanted his baby to have a father and he wanted to help Tess, and marrying her would accomplish both of those objectives.
Which is exactly what he told her when he stopped by her office Friday afternoon.
“We should get married.”
Tess turned around so quickly when he spoke that she knocked her coffee mug, spilling its contents all over the papers spread out on her desk. She swore under her breath as she moved her equipment out of the way of the spreading puddle.
As Craig hurried to the small kitchen to find a roll of paper towels, he realized he probably shouldn’t have blurted it out the way he had.
His mother often teased that he had a way with words and a natural charm that could persuade anyone to do what he wanted. He’d thought Tess would appreciate a straightforward approach. The silence that stretched between them as they worked to clean up her desk caused him to question that assumption.
She didn’t say anything at all until her wastebasket was filled with wet towels and illegible pages and the remaining papers had been spread out to dry.
“In the future, you might want to open a conversation with ‘hello’,” she suggested.
“Sorry,” he said. Then he smiled. “Hello, Tess.”
“Hello, Craig,” she responded politely.
He dropped into the chair beside her desk. “Now that we’ve dealt with the social niceties, can we get to the reason I’m here?”
“Please,” she agreed. “I’d like to know what’s behind the sudden change in your attitude about marriage.”
“The baby,” he admitted. “Our baby needs a father.”
She was quiet for a moment, considering his statement, then she nodded. “I don’t disagree,” she said. “But do you really want to be the baby’s father—or do you just want to do what you’ve convinced yourself is the right thing?”
“I want to be a father.” Parenthood wasn’t something he’d ever looked forward to in the abstract sense, but now, knowing his best friend was pregnant with his child, he found it was true.
“I’m a little surprised,” she admitted. “But I’m also relieved. I think our child will benefit from having both of his parents involved in his life.”
“His?” he wondered aloud.
She shrugged. “I don’t know yet, of course. But it doesn’t seem right to refer to the baby as ‘it’.”
He could see her point and while he hadn’t given much thought to the gender of their child, he found he liked the idea of having a son. A little boy who might grow up to take his place in the business Craig’s grandfather had founded. Of course, a girl could do the same thing. And when he thought about it, he found himself intrigued by the idea of a daughter—a little angel who looked just like her mother.
“Whether the baby’s a boy or a girl,” he said. “I don’t just want to be involved, I want to be there for him, or her, every day. I’ve been thinking about this since you took that test—I’ve hardly been able to think about anything else— and I really believe marriage is the perfect solution.”
“I didn’t ask you for a solution,” she said.
He took a deep breath, tried to figure out what he’d said or done to put her back up. Because it was obvious to him now that her back was up about something.
“I’m only trying to help,” he said.
“Just like you were helping when you took me home that night?”
She winced, and he knew she regretted the words as soon as she’d spoken, but that couldn’t erase them. Nor could it alter the truth in them. She blamed him, as he blamed himself.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “That was out of line.”
“No,” he denied. “You have every right to be mad at me. If I’d been thinking about what you needed instead of what I wanted, I would have just been your friend that night.”
She managed a weak smile. “I think I was pretty clear on what I needed.”
Yeah, she had been. But he should have looked beyond the invitation in her eyes, beyond the softness of her lips and the yield of her warm curves. Except that having Tess in his arms had been a dream come true and he hadn’t wanted to let her go.
Her smile faded as she folded her hands on her desk and faced him solemnly. “I’m not angry with you,” she said. “But maybe you should be angry with me.”
“Why?”
“Because—” she hesitated, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip. “Because I’m not sure I didn’t get pregnant on purpose.”
He frowned. “What are you talking about?”
She looked down at the fingers laced together in front of her and took a deep breath. “You know how much I’ve always wanted a family of my own,” she began. “Especially since my mom died. When I broke off my engagement to Roger, that dream seemed to slip away from me and that hurt more than anything else.”
She swallowed. “I didn’t set out to get pregnant. At least, I don’t think I did. But I wonder if, subconsciously—”
“Tess,” he interrupted gently. “The condom broke. It had nothing to do with your conscious or subconscious desire for a family.”
She dropped her gaze again. “The condom broke because it was more than a year past its expiration date.”
He stared at her, stunned, as the events of that night replayed in his mind.
He mentally fast-forwarded through all the hot, sweaty stuff to the relevant moment when he’d realized they were in the guest room and his condoms were across the hall in his bedroom. He’d intended to go to his room to get them, but Tess had surprised him by admitting there were some in her purse. Since her purse was on the dresser beside the bed—a helluva lot closer than the night table in his bedroom, which was at least thirty feet away—they’d used the ones in her purse.
The out-of-date condoms.
“I didn’t know it at the time,” she said quickly. “I didn’t know until I checked the box when I got home.”
“Why didn’t you check the box before you bought them?”
Her cheeks colored. “I did. But I bought them a couple of years ago—when Roger and I first started dating. But he always took care of protection and I never really thought about it afterward.”
“You’ve been carrying those condoms in your purse for two years?” he asked incredulously.
She shook her head. “I only opened the box a couple of months ago when I decided that I was going to prove to myself that I was over Roger. But I didn’t have any need for them…until that night.”
“Not until that night, huh?” He couldn’t fight the smile that tugged at his lips.
Tess eyed him warily. “You’re not mad?”
Maybe he should be angry, at least annoyed. But he knew Tess, and he knew, despite her own concerns to the contrary, that she would never have gotten pregnant on purpose.
“Do you believe in fate?” he asked.
Her expression grew more wary. “I’m not sure.”
“I’m not sure, either,” he admitted. “But I can’t help thinking that fate has been sticking her nose into things since you broke mine.”
“That wasn’t fate,” she scoffed. “That was you staring at Barb MacIntyre instead of paying attention to the baseball game.”
His smile widened. “I was fifteen and Barb MacIntyre had breasts.”
Tess shook her head, but she was smiling now, too. “You should have been paying attention to the skinny kid with the bat.”
“I’d never known a girl who could smack a line drive like that,” he told her, wincing a little at the memory. But he’d sure as hell paid attention after that. Not just because he’d been impressed by Tess’s athletic abilities, but because something in her wide blue eyes had tugged at him when she stood over him—as he’d lain bleeding all over the dirt at third base—and asked if he was going to die, too.
Several weeks later, he’d learned that was the same day she’d buried her mother—and been taken directly from the funeral to her new foster home. She was a fourteen-year-old orphan with more guts and attitude than he’d ever seen, but he recognized that the stubborn tilt of her chin and the angry glint in her eyes only masked the pain she carried inside. And he knew— even then—that she would wreak havoc on his life. What he didn’t know and couldn’t have guessed, was that she’d also become the best friend he’d ever had.
He rubbed a finger over the bump on the bridge of his nose.
Tess’s eyes followed the motion and the corners of her mouth twitched as she tried, not entirely successfully, to hold back a smile.
“You’re not still mad about that, are you?” she teased.
He shook his head. “That broken nose was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I didn’t think so at the time, of course,” he confessed. “But in retrospect, I can appreciate that it’s the reason we became friends.”
“What does any of that have to do with now?”
“I think in another fifteen years we’ll look back on this and realize your pregnancy was the best thing that could have happened.”
“I already know it is,” she confessed softly.
“Then why is it so hard for you to imagine that us getting married could be another one of those things?”
He didn’t quite manage to disguise the impatience in his voice, and Tess sighed.
“It’s not that I can’t imagine it,” she admitted.
In fact, it was almost too easy to picture herself married to Craig, sharing the joys and responsibilities of parenthood with him, building the family she’d always wanted with him.
But although her heart yearned for the whole fairy¬ tale package, she knew it could never exist outside of her dreams. Because he wasn’t her Prince Charming and her pregnancy wasn’t something they’d planned for or dreamed about together. As far as she knew, Craig didn’t even want kids—it was just his deeply-ingrained sense of responsibility that refused to let him walk away from their baby.
“Then what is it?” he demanded.
She didn’t know what to say, how to explain the battle that had been waging inside her since she’d seen those two lines on the stick. She could do what was easy—or she could do what was right. And she really wanted to do what was right.
The buzz of the intercom saved her from answering, at least for now.
“Carl’s on line three,” Elaine, the receptionist, announced.
Carl Bloom was one of the owners of SB Graphics and, therefore, one of Tess’s bosses. Which meant she needed to get Craig out of her office and her mind back on the job.
“Thanks,” Tess replied. Then to Craig, she said, “I have to take this call.”
“I can wait,” he said.
“I’d rather you didn’t. This is probably going to take a while and I have a meeting with Owen Sanderson—” Carl’s business partner and her other boss “—later this afternoon that I still need to prepare for.”
“We need to finish this conversation,” he said.
“I know,” she agreed. “But not now.”
“Then come to my place tonight for dinner.”
She stared at the blinking light on her phone as she considered his invitation, the light flashing like a neon “danger” sign inside her head. But what was the danger in sharing a meal with a friend?
“Okay,” she agreed. “I’ll see you later for dinner.”
“Seven o’clock,” Craig said as he rose from his chair. “I’ve got steaks we can barbecue—red meat has lots of iron, it’ll be good for both you and the baby.”
She shook her head as he walked out the door.
When she’d first suspected she might be pregnant, she’d worried about telling Craig. She’d tried to anticipate his reaction and had guessed that he would either balk at the idea of being a father and slowly but inexorably distance himself from her and the child she carried, or he would resign himself to the consequences of their actions and fulfill his responsibilities with respect to child support and weekly visitation. She hadn’t expected him to embrace the idea of parenthood.
Then again, the idea might be easier for him to embrace than the reality. Once their child was born, he might change his mind about what he wanted.
Or he might not, she admitted on a sigh. And that was an even greater concern for Tess, because she’d never known Craig to give up on something he really wanted.
She pushed these disquieting thoughts aside and reached for the phone to talk to her boss.
The software program Tess was revising was being especially stubborn, and the last couple hours of fighting with it had caused her hands to cramp from too much keyboarding. She raised her arms over her head to stretch out the tight muscles and glanced at the clock above her desk, surprised to note that it was already quarter to seven. She was supposed to be at Craig’s for dinner in fifteen minutes.
She saved the program, then shut down her computer and called to let him know she’d be there soon.
Making a quick trip to the ladies room, she wasn’t surprised to find that all her coworkers had gone and the outer office was empty and dark. When she’d first graduated from DeVry University, she’d accepted a position at a huge software company in Arizona. She’d enjoyed her work there, but the hours had been long, her bosses demanding. She’d come back to Pinehurst even knowing that her chances of landing a job as a programmer were less than slim because she’d wanted to have a life outside of her work and because she’d wanted to be closer to her stepsister’s family and Craig. She’d been thrilled—and very lucky—to find SB Graphics.
SBG was a digital animation software company which had been started almost twenty years earlier by Owen Sanderson and Carl Bloom, both MIT graduates. Although the partners had talked about moving the business to Los Angeles, they’d come to realize they could compete with the big corporations on the west coast from their location in Pinehurst.
They were both family men who not only appreciated that their employees had lives outside of the job but insisted upon it. In fact, when Deanna, one of the team leaders, had given birth to her first child last year, the bosses had encouraged her to take whatever time she needed at home with her baby. Then, when she’d made the decision to come back, they’d let her work from home or bring the baby into the office as required when day care was a problem.
Tess hadn’t thought about it much at the time, but now that she was expecting a child of her own, it was a huge relief to know that her employers understood and were sympathetic to the demands of parenthood. She could only hope that the father-to-be would be as considerate and accommodating of her needs.
We should get married.
As if the words hadn’t been surprising enough, the conviction with which he’d spoken them had completely unsettled her. She knew, probably better than anyone, how unyielding Craig could be once he’d made up his mind about something. For some reason, he’d decided marriage was what he wanted. Now she was going to have to convince him there were other alternatives.
She ran a brush through her hair then slipped into her blazer. Maybe if she looked like a together, professional woman she would feel like a together, professional woman when she and Craig discussed their baby’s future. Maybe he would actually listen to her when she offered a more suitable—more reasonable—solution.
She sighed as she zipped her purse. Yeah, and maybe she’d go to bed tonight and wake up to find it was the day after her canceled wedding and she was alone in Craig’s guest room because nothing had happened between them the night before. Except that she wouldn’t really wish that night away even if she could. She might not be looking forward to doing battle with Craig about what was best for their baby, but she wanted this baby. More than anything, she wanted this baby because it meant she would never be alone again.
Her stomach growled, loudly protesting that it had been ignored since it rejected the chicken salad sandwich she’d had for lunch several hours earlier. As she made her way down the hall, her mouth watering in anticipation of the juicy steak Craig had promised her, she noticed the light on in Owen’s office.
She knocked before peeking around the partially open door. “I was just on my—Oh,” she halted her explanation when she realized Owen wasn’t behind his desk and another man was in his office. “I’m sorry. I thought you were Mr. Sanderson.”
“Jared McCabe,” he said, rising to his feet and offering his hand.
“Tess Lucas,” she told him, moving forward to take it and wondering, as she did so, why his name sounded familiar to her.
His gaze narrowed speculatively. “You were the team leader on version four of DirectorPlus.”
DP4 was an easy-to-use software interface utilized by animation directors to control background characters in movies and video games. She nodded in response to his statement even as she wondered how he knew she’d worked on the project—and why she couldn’t make such an easy connection with his name.
“It’s a terrific program,” he said.
“Are you a customer of SB Graphics?”
He smiled. “Potentially.”
“Then you’ll be interested to know that version five is going to be even better,” she promised him.
“I’m counting on it.”
His comment struck her as strange but before she could ask what he meant, Owen stepped into the room.
“Jared, I found—” He stopped in mid-sentence, obviously surprised to see her. “Tess, I didn’t realize you were still here.”
“I was just on my way out and saw your light on,” she said, suddenly feeling uneasy.
“Tess is always the first one in and the last to leave,” Owen told Jared. “And not just a dedicated worker but an incredibly talented one.”
While Tess appreciated the words of praise, she couldn’t help but wonder why her boss thought Jared McCabe would care about her work habits. But now wasn’t the time for her to ask that question, so she only said, “I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Then, to Jared, “It was nice meeting you, Mr. McCabe.”
He smiled again. “It was my pleasure, Ms. Lucas.”
“Enjoy your weekend,” Owen said.
Tess nodded, her mind swirling with questions about the mysterious Mr. McCabe. Then she thought about her upcoming dinner with Craig and remembered she had bigger issues to worry about.
Chapter Three
It was after seven-thirty by the time Tess pulled into the visitor parking lot of Craig’s building but she stayed in her car a few more minutes, psyching herself for the next round with him. She hated the awkwardness between them—hated feeling edgy, irritable, confused. But she knew that wasn’t likely to change until they’d come to an agreement about her pregnancy and his role in their baby’s life.
She also knew that if she was to have any chance of talking Craig out of this crazy marriage idea, she would have to stay calm and focused. She could admit that marriage was an option, but she needed to convince him that there were compelling reasons to disregard that option.
Friendship and chemistry are both solid foundations for a relationship.
She shook her head trying to block out the echo of his words in her mind.
And if we got married, our baby would have a family.
A family was the one thing she’d always wanted and the greatest gift she knew she could give to her child. And Craig knew her well enough to know it was the most tempting thing he could offer.
But if she gave in to temptation, what would it cost? What would a marriage of convenience do to their friendship? How could she risk the solid relationship they had for the illusion of something more?
Tess pushed aside the questions along with her trepidation as she climbed out of the car. She’d asked him to be her friend—she needed to remember that he was the best friend she had and not do anything to screw that up.
She greeted the doorman by name as she made her through the lobby. Nigel responded with a smile and a wave, reaching for the phone to call Craig’s apartment and let him know she was on her way up.
Craig opened the door just as she stepped off the elevator.
“Sorry, I’m later than I expected to be,” she said. “I got caught up with Owen as I was on my way out.” She considered mentioning the odd encounter with the stranger but decided that could wait until later.
“Not a problem,” he said. “I’m a little behind schedule myself because of an impromptu visit from my mother.”
“I’m sorry I missed her,” Tess said, kicking off her shoes inside the entrance before following him into the kitchen.
“No, you’re not.”
She frowned.
“Long story,” he said. “And right now I’m going to put the grill on so we can eat soon.”
“Can I help you with anything?” she asked.
“You can throw the salad together if you want.” He gestured to the ingredients on the counter.
“Okay.” She washed the lettuce and began tearing it into pieces. She’d really hoped that having dinner with Craig tonight would be a step toward getting their relationship back on track, toward the resumption of their friendship. But she couldn’t deny that being alone with him here—for the first time since the night their baby had been conceived—filled her with foreboding.
Truthfully, she was more afraid of her own reactions to him than anything he might say or do. Ever since the night they’d spent together, every little touch sent tingles of awareness through her veins. Even the briefest contact taunted her with the recollection of how it felt to really be touched by him.
She forced the memories aside and began slicing the cucumber with a vengeance. Craig came into the kitchen, picked up the plate of steaks. As he moved past her, she caught the scent of his aftershave. Once familiar and comforting, it was suddenly new and arousing. She brought the knife down hard, as if the action could sever her wayward thoughts—and cut her finger instead.
“Damn!” She stuck her finger in her mouth to staunch the flow of blood.
He set the plate back on the counter with a clatter. “Are you all right?”
He grabbed her wrist, his fingers strong and firm as he tugged her hand away from her mouth. With his other hand, he turned on the faucet and shoved her finger under the stream of cool water.
“I’m fine,” she said, her voice strangely breathy. He was standing close, so close she could feel the heat emanating from his body. Too close.
He moved her hand out of the water to inspect the cut. It was still bleeding, but it wasn’t very deep.
“Keep it under the water,” he said. “I’ll get a Band-Aid.”
She did as he requested, too shaken to do anything else.
Craig was her best friend—she shouldn’t be indulging in sexual daydreams with him cast in the starring role. But maybe the erotic images that haunted her were a result of the hormonal changes of pregnancy. Yes, that made sense. Once she had this baby, her relationship with Craig would settle back to normal. The next eight months might be a challenge, but she was confident she could get through them knowing that this fierce attraction was a temporary phenomenon.
Craig returned with a tube of antibacterial ointment and a Band-Aid, and she breathed in his scent again. He tore a paper towel off the roll and carefully dried her hand. Her finger, almost numb from the cold water, was infused with heat by the simple touch. Damn, it was going to be a long eight months.
“Okay?” he asked.
She nodded, then glanced up. And saw the awareness she felt reflected in the depths of his brown eyes. If this attraction was a temporary phenomenon, apparently it was affecting him, too.
But then he tore his gaze away from her to pick up the tube of cream and she managed to breathe again. His motions were brisk, efficient and so completely impersonal Tess wondered if she’d imagined the sizzle in the air between them.
He wrapped the Band-Aid around her finger. “There you go.”
She swallowed. “Th-thank you.”
“I’m going to put the steaks on.” His smile seemed strained. “Try not to cut off any appendages while I’m gone.”
Craig flipped the meat on the grill, listened to the sizzle and pop as the marinade dripped onto the hot coals. It reminded him of the heat that had flared between him and Tess when he’d touched her. He’d tried to keep the contact casual, impersonal, but the skin of her hand was soft in his and the scent of her hair tantalized his senses. And as he’d leaned over her by the sink administering first aid to her bleeding finger, he couldn’t help but notice how the soft fabric of her blouse molded to the curve of her breasts. And he couldn’t help but remember how those breasts had filled his palms, how she’d moaned in pleasure as he’d caressed them, with his hands, with his lips.
He breathed deeply of the cool night air as he willed the haunting images away. Tess would hardly be impressed if she knew about his prurient fantasies.
He was supposed to be her friend—and he had been, for fifteen years. There had been times in recent years that he’d wondered whether there could be anything more between them, but he’d always discarded the thought. He valued her friendship and he didn’t want to do anything to risk it. No matter how many times he’d wondered what it would be like to touch her, to kiss her, and not like a friend.
Now he knew—and he knew that being friends wasn’t enough anymore.
It was a huge leap from one night together to marriage, and he knew it wasn’t a commitment he’d be considering now except for the fact of Tess’s pregnancy. But instead of feeling trapped by the circumstances, he felt as if he’d been given an incredible opportunity. If only he could find a way to convince Tess of that fact.
He kept the conversation light and casual during dinner, and she finally seemed to relax a little. At least until he inadvertently brushed his knee against her thigh under the table. Then she jerked away as if he’d stabbed her with his steak knife, and he accepted that easing the tension between them wasn’t going to be that simple.
“I’ve got Chunky Monkey for dessert,” he said.
She loaded the dishwasher while he scooped her favorite ice cream into bowls. When he was finished, he decided that it was time to get to the purpose of her visit.
“You know that I wanted you to come over tonight so we could finish talking about my proposal.”
Tess took the bowl he handed to her, passed him a spoon she’d taken out of the cutlery drawer. “I don’t recall hearing an actual proposal.”
Craig followed her to the table, enjoying the gentle sway of her hips as she moved. Then her response registered and he frowned. “What do you mean?”
She dipped her spoon into the ice cream. “You didn’t ask me to marry you. You said we should get married.”
He watched her lips close around the spoon, heard her soft hum of pleasure as she tasted the ice cream. He shoved a spoonful into his own mouth, hoping that the cold substance would help alleviate the heat raging through his system. It didn’t work.
“I asked,” he said.
“No, you didn’t. You never ask,” she continued. “You just assume you’ll get what you want.”
“I do not,” he protested indignantly.
“Yes, you do. Because nobody ever says no to Craig Richmond.”
As he scooped up some more ice cream, he realized she might be right. As Vice President in charge of Research and Development at Richmond Pharmaceuticals, he held a position of power and he knew how to wield that power effectively, but he’d never realized that his professional demeanor carried over to his private life.
Was that why she’d turned him down, because he hadn’t asked?
He swallowed another mouthful of ice cream. “All right. Tess, will you marry me?”
She smiled but shook her head. “No.”
“No?” So much for her theory that no one ever said no to him.
“I didn’t refuse your so-called proposal because it wasn’t in the form of a question,” she told him. “I refused because my pregnancy isn’t a good enough reason for us to get married.”
Tess swirled her spoon in her ice cream, then licked the back of it. And he nearly groaned aloud at the erotic images the action evoked.
“I would never deny you access to our child,” she said, drawing his attention back to the topic of conversation. “And I’m not going to marry a man I don’t love and who doesn’t love me just so my child will have a family when we can accomplish the same thing by sharing custody.”
“I don’t want to be a weekend dad.” He couldn’t stand the thought of his child being shuffled between households, never feeling as if he truly had a home, somewhere that he belonged. He didn’t want his child to grow up thinking his father didn’t want to be part of his life. He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Why can’t you accept that this is important to me?”
“Why can’t you accept that I don’t want to get married?”
“Because you were addressing wedding invitations not six months ago,” he pointed out.
“That was different,” she told him.
“Because you thought you were in love with Roger?”
“Maybe I was wrong about him, but that doesn’t mean I’m willing to give up my dreams and settle for a loveless marriage.”
He pushed his empty bowl aside. “Did you ever tell your fiancé that you spent four years of your life in foster care?”
She frowned. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“It doesn’t change the fact that he was cheating scum and he didn’t deserve you,” he told her. “But I have to wonder if the relationship wasn’t doomed anyway because you didn’t let him see who you really are.”
“Four years in foster care didn’t make me who I am.”
“A friend once told me that everything we experience in life—the good and the bad—helps to make us the people we are.”
She shrugged, unable to argue against her own words. “Do you have a point?”
“Did he know about the foster homes?” he asked again. “Did he know how your mother died? How completely alone you felt when you realized her death made you an orphan? Did he know how much you looked forward to the monthly visits you were allowed with your stepsister, because she was the only family you had left?” He shook his head, then answered his own questions. “Of course he didn’t know because you never told him.”
“I didn’t think it was relevant,” she said.
“Or maybe you’re more wary of commitment than I am. You say you’re holding out for love, but maybe that’s just an excuse to be alone because you’re too afraid of being hurt again to let anyone get that close.”
“I didn’t know you got a psych degree along with your MBA.”
The dripping sarcasm in her voice proved that he’d made his point. He only regretted that he’d hurt her in the process.
“I don’t need a pysch degree because I know you,” he reminded her gently.
She sighed. “Okay. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m as much a coward as you are a commitment-phobe. Which suggests to me that a marriage between us would be doomed from the start.”
“Except that we’re also both stubborn and determined,” he reminded her. “If we wanted to, we could make it work.”
She set the spoon down, looked up at him and he saw the conviction in her deep blue eyes. “I remember what kind of marriage my parents had, how much they loved each other. I was only eight when my dad died but I remember how happy they were together.
“When my mother married Ken, I knew right away it was different. She was on her own with me, he was on his own with Laurie. They married to give us—me and Laurie—a family, but neither of them was ever really happy.”
“That doesn’t mean we couldn’t be,” he persisted.
“If I get married, I want it to be because someone wants to be with me, not because I’m carrying his child.”
“I do want to be with you, Tess. I want us both to be there for our baby. I don’t know how this love thing works. I’m not even sure I believe it exists—not love of the happily-ever-after variety, anyway. But I want this baby to know he has two parents who will always be there for him, and the best way to ensure that is by getting married.”
She placed a hand over her chest. “I think that’s the most romantic proposal I’ve heard yet.”
He felt the frustration building inside him. “Is that what you want—romance?” he demanded. “Would it make a difference if I filled the room with flowers and soft music and candlelight?”
“No,” she said again and shook her head. “Nothing is going to make a difference because we both know it would be worse for our child to live in a loveless home than to have two parents who never married.”
“We could make a marriage work, Tess.”
“Do you really want to take that chance? Do you want our child to find himself in the middle of a custody battle if it doesn’t?”
“No, I don’t,” he admitted, understanding that she was only thinking about what he and his brother had gone through. “But that wouldn’t happen because we would always do what was best for our child.”
“That’s why I want to work out the details of custody and access now.”
“I don’t want access,” he said stubbornly. “I want my child to know he’s an important part of my life every day, not just on alternate weekends.”
“Is this about Charlene walking out on you?”
She never referred to the woman who’d given birth to him as his mother, because she felt—as he did—that Grace, his father’s second wife, was more of a mother to him than Charlene had ever been.
“This is about you and me and our baby,” he insisted.
But Tess—being Tess—didn’t accept his denial. She reached across the table and laid her hand on top of his.
“Charlene couldn’t handle the responsibility of having children,” she said. “But you’ve made it clear that you want to be a part of our baby’s life, and I would never stand in the way of that.”
He turned his hand over, laced his fingers with hers. Her hand was so small inside his and yet he drew comfort and strength from her presence, gained a measure of peace from her understanding. She knew him better than anyone, she understood his hopes and fears and she was always there for him. It was the kind of unconditional acceptance he’d never been sure of with any other woman, and yet another reason he believed they would make a marriage work.
But she was holding out for love, and as much as he cared about her, that wasn’t something he could give her. If he could love anyone, he wanted to believe it would be Tess. But he didn’t have it in him. And he wouldn’t lie to her—he wouldn’t use the words she wanted to hear to get what he wanted. Or maybe he just knew better than to even try because Tess would see right through him.
She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. “You’re going to be a wonderful daddy, Craig.”
“Don’t you mean part-time daddy?” He hated to think about missing a single day of his child’s life. He’d been five years old when his parents split up, but he remembered the feeling of loss, the sense of rejection when his mother walked out on them.
It had been months later before Charlene Richmond had decided she wanted to share custody of her children—or maybe she finally realized that by having them live with her part-time, she could get significant financial support from her husband. And the next few years had been a constant shuffle from one house to the other for Craig and his brother, Gage, the only consistent presence in their life being the nanny their father had hired and who accompanied them from place to place. Because as much as Charlene claimed she wanted to spend time with her sons, she was content to let the nanny deal with their day-to-day needs and, in fact, rarely interacted with them during their visits.
Then, one day when they showed up, she just wasn’t there. All she’d left was a note saying that she was getting married and moving out of the country and was, therefore, relinquishing full custody to the boys’ father.
At first, Craig had been relieved—the fighting would finally stop and he and Gage would finally be able to settle in one place. But the relief had soon been replaced by a niggling fear that his father might decide to go away, too. That no one loved him enough to stand by him.
He wouldn’t let his child feel the same way.
As much as Tess understood Craig’s reasons for wanting to get married, she wasn’t willing to sacrifice what was left of their friendship and give up her own dreams for a marriage of convenience she believed was destined to fail.
But when he looked at her as he was looking at her now, with such intensity and determination, she could feel her resolve weakening. Then he stroked his thumb over her skin and she felt a frisson of awareness skate up her arm and warmth spread through her body.
She tried to pull her hand away, knowing that if she had any hopes of maintaining a clear perspective on things, she couldn’t allow him to touch her. But Craig held firm.
“I’ve tried not to pressure you—”
She almost laughed at the absurdity of the statement as she felt the pressure closing in on her from all sides.
“—but you can’t keep your pregnancy a secret forever. Let’s go away somewhere and get married before the speculation begins.”
And despite all her reasoning and common sense she actually found herself tempted by the idea. Because the thought of having this baby on her own, of being—if not solely, at least primarily—responsible for its happiness and well-being, terrified her. But she’d never been the type to balk at a challenge or take the easy way out and she wasn’t going to do so now just because she was scared.
She carefully withdrew her hand from his grasp. “I can’t marry you, Craig.”
“Think about this logically,” he said. “We’ve known each other for years. What we have between us—friendship, trust, respect—they’re more important than love. And more enduring. There’s no reason for a marriage between us not to work.”
She didn’t buy his argument. Yes, friendship, trust and respect were important, but she wouldn’t enter into a marriage without love. “Look at your parents. Your dad and Grace,” she amended. “It’s obvious to anyone who sees them together that they love one another. Do you really want to settle for less than that?”
“I would never think of marrying you as settling,” he said.
He sounded so sincere and was looking at her with such earnestness in his dark eyes that Tess almost believed him. In her heart, she wanted to believe him. But her disastrous experience with Roger had made her wary. And while she’d known Craig a lot longer than she’d known Roger, so much had changed between them in the last few weeks that she wasn’t sure she really knew him at all anymore.
At work she was a confident, competent professional but that was because she’d spent years studying manuals and mastering computer code. There was no such training to succeed at relationships and she felt at a distinct disadvantage when it came to the games that men and women played.
Craig, on the other hand, had dated more women than she could count—beautiful, sophisticated women. He would never be happy with someone like her and she’d be deluding herself if she believed otherwise for a single moment.
Tess sighed and pushed away from the table. She crossed over to the window, looked out at the brilliant array of stars scattered across the sky. No, there was no way she could marry Craig.
“You might not think of it that way now,” she said. “But you’d eventually start to resent me, and the baby, for putting you in this position.”
And for Tess, the thought of losing Craig’s friendship and support was far worse than the prospect of raising a child on her own.
He didn’t say anything for a minute and she let herself hope he was actually considering what she’d said. She didn’t hear him leave the table, wasn’t aware that he was behind her until he put his hands on her shoulders and gently turned her around to face him.
She met his gaze evenly, almost defiantly. She knew him well enough to know that he wasn’t easily dissuaded from something he wanted, but she could be equally stubborn. And there was no way she was going to further jeopardize their friendship by marrying him. Her mom and Ken had been friends before they married and they’d had nothing left when their marriage had fallen apart. Tess refused to let that happen. Craig could use whatever arguments he wanted, she wasn’t going to change her mind.
But his response wasn’t at all what she expected. He didn’t argue or plead or use any of the other tactics she was confident she could handle. Instead, he lowered his head and he kissed her.
At first, she was too stunned to react. And then, as his lips continued to move over hers, soft but firm, strong yet coaxing, she simply melted.
He slid his fingers into her hair and tipped her head back to deepen the kiss. She opened for him willingly, all thoughts of resistance gone. Whether it was the pregnancy hormones running rampant through her system or her new awareness of Craig as a man, she had no desire to be anywhere but in his arms.
She shivered as his fingers massaged her scalp, moaned as his tongue tangled with hers. Somewhere, in the back recesses of her mind, she knew she should end this kiss. She shouldn’t allow this to happen but she was powerless to stop the desire that flowed hot and thick through her system. She wanted this—she wanted Craig—more than she’d ever thought possible.
He stroked his hands down her back, tugged the blouse from the waistband of her slacks, and she trembled with anticipation. Then his hands were on her skin and she could no longer think. She could only feel and she loved the way it felt to be touched by him, to touch him. She ran her hands up his chest, found the buttons at the front of his shirt and quickly worked them free.
He slid an arm behind her knees and scooped her up, cradling her against his chest as his lips continued their sensual assault. She’d never been swept off her feet before—literally or figuratively—and if she let herself think about it she might worry that Craig was her first on both counts and that it felt so completely right.
He carried her into the living room, laid her down gently on the soft leather sofa and levered himself down beside her. Their bodies were aligned, their legs entwined, on the narrow couch. She could feel the evidence of his arousal against her belly and wriggled her hips to position him between her thighs.
Her blouse was undone now, too, and he slid the garment over her shoulders, letting it drop to the ground. Then he shifted their bodies so that she was lying beneath him and dipped his head to nuzzle her throat, the scrape of his jaw against her tender skin sending deliciously erotic tingles through her body.
His lips moved lower, caressing the swell of her breasts above the lacy cups of her bra. She felt her nipples tighten, the heat spread through her body. As if in response to an unspoken request, he flicked his tongue over the aching peak, then closed his teeth over the thin fabric. Tess gasped and thrust her hips upward. Impatiently Craig pushed the strap off her shoulder and took her nipple in his mouth. He manipulated the peak, tasting, teasing, then he suckled hard on the breast, thrusting it against the roof of his mouth with his tongue. She bit down on her lip to keep from crying out as she rocked her hips against him, aching for the fulfillment of his lovemaking.
“Let me make love with you, Tess.”
His words paralleled her thoughts, proving they were—if at odds over everything else—at least in synch in their desire for one another.
She gripped his shoulders with trembling hands. “Yes.”
He undid the button of her slacks, slid the zipper down. His fingers found the wet heat inside her and she almost flew apart right then.
“Let me remind you how good we are together,” he whispered the words against her lips as his hands continued to tease and torment her. “Let me show you how wonderful it would be to make love every night if we got married.”
It took a minute for his words to penetrate through the fog that surrounded Tess’s brain. When they did, the heat flowing through her veins suddenly chilled.
“What…” She had to pause for breath, forced herself to ignore the traitorous demands of her body that insisted his words didn’t matter. “What did you say?”
He leaned forward again and brushed his lips against hers, softly coaxing. “I said I want to make love with you.”
She wanted to melt against him, to lean into the kiss, to go back to where she’d been before she’d heard the words that had doused her own desire more effectively than an icy rain. “Why?”
He smiled, that slow, sexy smile that made her insides all trembly and weak. “I thought that was obvious.”
“Is it?” She felt her cheeks flush but wouldn’t allow herself to be distracted by his easy charm. Not again.
Instead, she pushed herself up and scrambled off of the couch. She found her discarded top and shoved her arms through the sleeves, turning her back on him to fasten the buttons and zip up her slacks. It wasn’t about modesty so much as hiding the hurt she was afraid he’d see in her eyes when she spoke her next words. “Or was this part of your plan to convince me to marry you?”
She heard him sigh. “I didn’t plan this at all, Tess, things just got out of control. But to be perfectly honest, I think the attraction between us is further proof that our marriage would succeed.”
She turned back to him, confident that any residual hurt would be shrouded by the anger that was beginning to boil inside her. “We should get married because we’re good in bed together?”
He stood up and took a step toward her. “We’re a lot better than good, but that’s only one factor.”
“That’s what this was to you?” She impatiently brushed away the tears that spilled onto her cheeks. “A factor?”
“Of course not,” he denied.
But she knew him well enough to recognize the guilt that flickered in his eyes. Tess straightened her shirt.
“Go to hell, and take your proposal with you.”
Chapter Four
Tess wasn’t really surprised that she didn’t hear from Craig through the following week, but she was sorry. He’d been the one person she’d always felt she could count on and she’d screwed it up by, well, screwing him. It was crude but true. Have sex with a guy once and it changed everything. And now, when she needed his support more than ever, he was conspicuously absent from her life.
More than a month had passed since she’d taken the home pregnancy test and though she’d scheduled her first prenatal appointment, she still didn’t know what was the best thing to do for her baby. What she did know was that she’d drive herself insane if she continued to stare at the same four walls inside her apartment. So Saturday morning, with no destination in mind, she climbed in her Saturn coupe and drove. When she found herself in the west end of town, she decided to drop in on her sister.
Technically, Laurie was Tess’s stepsister but neither of them had any biological siblings and the relationship they’d developed over the years was as strong as any made by blood. Although the marriage between their respective parents hadn’t worked out, the girls had stayed in touch after the divorce. Laurie was the only other person Tess could imagine confiding in about her current situation, and right now she desperately needed to confide in someone.
“It’s not even 10:00 a.m.,” Laurie complained as she pulled open the front door.
Tess held up the tray of coffee and the box of doughnuts. “I brought breakfast.”
Laurie stepped away from the door and Tess followed her into the kitchen. She set the doughnuts and coffee on the table, then scooped ten-week-old Devin out of his infant carrier. She always loved spending time with her sister’s kids, had always dreamed of having a baby of her own someday. Now that day was on the horizon.
“I can’t believe how much he’s grown.” Her voice was filled with awe as she stared at the chubby infant cradled in her arms.
Laurie smiled. “He’s gained five pounds already.”
“Is that normal?” she asked, struck once again by how little she knew about babies, how much she needed to learn.
“The doctor likes to see newborns gain at least a pound a month, so he’s a little ahead of schedule.”
She brushed a kiss on the soft, downy head, breathed in his soft, baby scent. “Already an overachiever, aren’t you?”
The baby, of course, didn’t respond.
But then his big sister wandered into the kitchen.
“Juice, mommy.” Two-year-old Becca waved a plastic cup at her mother.
“Please,” Laurie told her, taking the cup.
Becca shook her head no. “Ap-ple.”
Tess smiled as the child’s mother shook her head.
“She doesn’t quite understand ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ yet,” Laurie explained as she took the juice from the refrigerator and refilled the cup. Becca took the cup back to the living room where she’d been playing with the building blocks scattered across the carpet.
“What does Becca think of her little brother?” Tess asked.
“It varies from day to day, although usually she just ignores him. Once he’s big enough to actually play with, I suspect that will change.” Laurie sat down on the other side of the table and took one of the paper cups from the tray. She removed the lid and smiled as she inhaled deeply. “Cappuccino. I guess I’ll have to forgive you for arriving before noon.”
“I am sorry for dropping by without calling first,” she apologized. “But I really need to talk to you about something.”
Her sister waved off the apology. “You know you’re always welcome—and I’m always starved for adult conversation.”
Tess managed a smile as she stroked a hand lightly over Devin’s soft, downy head. He’d already settled against her breast and was sleeping soundly. In less than eight months, she’d be able to cradle her own baby this way. The realization filled her with a strange sort of longing and almost none of the panic she’d learned to expect since her pregnancy was confirmed. “Where’s Dave?”
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