Expecting The Fellani Heir
Lucy Gordon
And baby makes three…It was a night she should never have surrendered to, but Ellie can’t regret the blissful hours she spent in Leonizio Fellani’s arms. The steely businessman showed her his softer side and it melted her heart…but working together means he should be off-limits!Then Ellie discovers she’s expecting, and she knows passionate, possessive Leonizio will want to make his heir legitimate! Leonizio demands marriage to claim his child, but first he needs to prove to Ellie that above all he wants her as his wife…
“The world seemed to change that night, as though we’d become different people.”
“Yes, that’s true. I no longer really know what to think about anything.”
“Is that why you refuse to marry me?”
“I haven’t actually refused. I just can’t take it for granted the way you did. I don’t like being given orders.”
“That’s not what I did.”
“But it is. You just assumed I’d jump at the chance to marry you. How arrogant is that?” She gave a brief laugh. “I once looked up your name and found that Leonizio means ‘lionlike.’ That says it all about you. The lion rules the plains, and Leonizio thinks he can rule wherever he likes.”
Briefly she wondered if she was wise to risk offending him, but his smile contained only wry amusement.
“Except for the lioness,” he said. “She could stand up to him better than anyone else.”
She nodded. “As long as he understands that.”
Expecting the Fellani Heir
Lucy Gordon
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
LUCY GORDON cut her writing teeth on magazine journalism, interviewing many of the world’s most interesting men. She’s had many unusual experiences, which have often provided the background for her books. Once, while staying in Venice, she met a Venetian who proposed in two days and they’ve been married ever since. Naturally this has affected her writing, in which romantic Italian men tend to feature strongly. Two of her books have won a Romance Writers of America RITA
Award. You can visit her website at www.lucy-gordon.com (http://www.lucy-gordon.com).
Contents
Cover (#uea986502-42c1-51b1-a325-48ef0c7372d7)
Introduction (#u3a1f9eeb-d595-576c-baee-f3f3e158648d)
Title Page (#uada93a70-1f34-5604-9890-0a69940dda8b)
About the Author (#u7d874717-c53b-580d-844a-95bf435f036c)
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#u7a94027a-0976-5a90-bbd7-77936083e33b)
AFTERWARDS ELLIE ALWAYS remembered the day when things really started to happen, when the sky glowed, the universe trembled to its foundations and nothing was ever the same again.
It began gloomily, a cold February morning with the traffic in a jam, delaying her as she drove to work. Drumming her fingers against the steering wheel, she drew in sharp breaths of exasperation.
The world would call her a successful woman, a highly qualified lawyer employed by one of London’s most notable legal practices. To be late for work should have been beneath her. But it was happening.
When she finally arrived, Rita, her young secretary, greeted her with agitation.
‘The boss has been asking about you every minute.’
The boss was Alex Dallon, founder and head of Dallon Ltd. He was an efficient, demanding man, and it was no small achievement that Ellie had earned his favour.
‘Is he annoyed because I’m late?’ Ellie asked.
‘A bit. Signor Fellani called to say he was coming in this morning and Mr Dallon doesn’t have time to see him.’
‘I wasn’t aware that Signor Fellani had an appointment.’
‘No, but you know him. He just announces he’s coming.’
‘And we all have to jump to it,’ Ellie groaned.
‘I wouldn’t mind jumping for him,’ Rita declared longingly. ‘He’s gorgeous!’
‘That’s not the point,’ Ellie told her, severely but kindly. ‘Looks aren’t everything.’
‘His are,’ Rita sighed.
‘No man’s are,’ Ellie said firmly.
Rita’s response was a cynical look that Ellie understood. She knew exactly how she appeared to her secretary. Rita was a pretty, vivacious young woman with an eager interest in finding ‘the one’. Ellie was a successful, efficient woman in her late thirties, with no husband or lover. Rita would clearly see that as a fate to avoid. To her, a man as attractive as Leonizio Fellani was not merely a client, but a dream to sigh over.
Ellie could understand how naïve Rita could fall for him. He was a man nobody could overlook, in his early thirties, with black hair and dark eyes that drew instant attention. He had a tall, athletic build and moved with a masculine grace that drew many eyes towards him. His face, she conceded, was handsome, although too often marred by tension.
Just once she had seen him smile, and there had been a glimpse of the kinder man he might have been. But it was over in a moment as the unyielding side of his nature took over again.
She herself ignored male attractions. There had been moments in her past when she had weakened, which was how she thought of it. But things hadn’t worked out and she’d gathered her defences again.
Her appearance disappointed her. Her face was pleasant but not strikingly pretty. She possessed only one outstanding feature. Her hair. If she wore it long it could appear lush and wildly wavy. But she chose to scrape it back, tying the length into a bun at the back.
Businesslike, she often thought, regarding herself sadly in the mirror. Nobody is going to sigh over those looks.
She tended to judge herself severely. Many women would have envied her slender figure, but she considered herself too thin and overly angular. It was her nature to be realistic about her own lack of conventional attractions. Unlike Rita, she would never sigh over a handsome man like Signor Fellani.
He was an important client, wealthy, Italian, strong-minded. Curiosity had inspired Ellie to look up his name and she’d discovered that Leonizio meant ‘lion-like’. It suited his commanding ways, she reckoned.
He had made a fortune manufacturing shoes. His luxurious, elegant products sold all over the world, especially in the UK. Just across the road from Ellie’s office was a large store that sold them in great numbers.
His base was in Rome, but he employed this London firm to handle the divorce from his English wife. Alex Dallon liked Ellie to deal with this client often because her grandmother had been Italian and she had a basic knowledge of the language. Not that she ever needed to use it. Signor Fellani’s command of English was like everything else about him: precise and efficient.
‘Has there been any more mail from his wife’s lawyers?’ Ellie asked. ‘The last I heard was that she was refusing to budge about custody of their baby.’
‘But since she’s left him and the child hasn’t been born yet, she’s bound to get custody,’ Rita pointed out.
‘I’m not looking forward to telling him that. Anything significant in the mail?’
‘Not that I’ve seen so far, but I haven’t opened them all yet. I’ll check.’
She vanished and Ellie went to her desk. Taking out the Fellani file, she glanced quickly through the papers, reminding herself of the details.
Three years earlier, Signor Fellani had made a whirlwind marriage with Harriet Barker, an Englishwoman he’d met while she was on holiday in his native city, Rome. But after the initial excitement died the marriage had suffered. When Harriet finally discovered that she was pregnant she had left him, coming back to England.
He’d followed her, insisting that she return to him, and, when she refused, he’d demanded joint custody of the unborn child. This she also refused.
Harriet must be a woman of great courage, Ellie thought. Leonizio was an autocrat, a man who demanded obedience and knew how to get it. In their few meetings he had treated her with cool courtesy, but she had always sensed an underlying steeliness. To the wife who was defying him he might be terrifying, but perhaps that was why she was so determined to escape him.
Rita appeared in the doorway, holding out a letter.
‘He’s going to create merry hell when he reads this,’ she said.
Ellie read it with mounting dismay. It was from Harriet’s lawyers.
Your client must understand that he has no rights over this child, because it is not his. His wife left him because she had found another partner and become pregnant. Now a DNA test has proved that the child she is carrying is not her husband’s.
She is anxious to conclude the divorce as soon as possible so that she can marry the child’s father before the birth.
Please persuade Signor Fellani to see sense.
A copy of the paperwork for the DNA test was enclosed. There was no doubt that the baby had been fathered by the other man.
‘Oh, heavens!’ she sighed. ‘What a dreadful thing to have to tell him.’
‘Especially today,’ Rita said.
‘Why, what’s different about today?’
‘It’s Valentine’s Day. The day for lovers, when they celebrate the joy of their love.’
‘Oh, no!’ Ellie groaned. ‘I’d forgotten the date. You’re right. But he’s Italian. Perhaps they don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day in Italy. I hope not because that would really rub it in.’
A noise from outside made her glance through the window. She saw a taxi draw up, and Signor Fellani get out. She went to wait for him in her office, longing for this soon to be over.
A few moments later he appeared at her door, his face stern and purposeful.
‘I’m sorry to spring this meeting on you without warning,’ he said, ‘but something has happened that changes everything.’
Did that mean he already knew?
‘I went to see Harriet yesterday evening,’ he continued. ‘I believed we could talk things over properly; find a way to make a future together for the sake of our child. But she wasn’t there. She’s gone, and not left an address. Why? Why pick this moment to run away from me?’
So he didn’t know, Ellie realised, her heart sinking. The next few minutes were going to be terrible.
‘She obviously doesn’t feel able to talk,’ she said. ‘Perhaps you should just accept that it’s over.’
‘Over between her and me, but not between me and my child,’ he retorted swiftly.
She hesitated, dismayed at the disaster that was heading their way. Sensing her unease, he spoke more quietly.
‘You probably think I’m being unreasonable about this; pursuing a woman who doesn’t want me. Why don’t I just let her go? But it’s not that simple. I can let her go, but not the baby. There’s a connection there that nothing can break, and if she thinks she’s going to make me a stranger to my own child, she’s wrong. I’ll never let that happen.’
Ellie wanted to cry out, to make him stop at all costs. Never before had this hard man revealed his feelings so frankly, and her heart ached at the thought of how she was about to hurt him.
‘I need you to find her,’ he said. ‘Her lawyers won’t tell me where she is but you can get it out of them.’
‘I’m afraid it wouldn’t help,’ she said heavily.
‘Of course it would help. They tell you, you tell me, and I go to see her and make her stop this nonsense.’
‘No!’ Ellie clenched her fists. ‘It isn’t nonsense. I’m sorry, I hate to tell you this, but I have to.’
‘Tell me what?’
She took a deep breath and forced herself to say, ‘The baby isn’t yours.’
Silence. She wondered if he’d actually heard her.
‘What did you say?’ he asked at last.
‘She’s carrying another man’s child. I only found out myself just now. It’s all in this letter.’
She handed him the letter from his wife’s lawyer, and tried to read his expression as he read it. But his face was blank. At last he gave a snort.
‘So this is her latest trick. Does she think to fool me?’
‘It’s not a trick. She had a DNA test done and that proves it.’
‘A DNA test? But surely they can’t be done before the child is born? It’s too dangerous.’
‘That was true once. But recently new techniques have been developed, and it can be done safely while a baby is still in the womb.’
‘But they’d have needed to compare the child’s DNA with mine. I haven’t given a sample so they can’t have.’
‘They got a sample from the other man in her life and compared it with that,’ Ellie said. ‘The result was positive. I’m afraid there’s no doubt he’s the father. You’ll find it here.’
He took the paper she held out. Ellie tensed, waiting for the storm to break. This man couldn’t tolerate being defied, and the discovery of his soon-to-be ex-wife’s treachery would provoke an explosion of temper.
But nothing happened. A terrible stillness had descended on him as he stared at the message that meant devastation to all his hopes. The colour drained from his face, leaving it with a greyish pallor that might have belonged to a dead man.
At last he spoke in a toneless voice. ‘Can I believe the test?’
‘I know the lab that did it,’ she said. ‘They are completely reliable. I’m afraid it’s true.’
Suddenly he turned away and slammed his fist down on the desk.
‘Fool!’ he raged. ‘Fool!’
Her temper rose. ‘So you think I’m a fool for telling you what you don’t want to know?’
‘Not you,’ he snapped. ‘Me! To be taken in by that woman and her cheap tricks—I must be the biggest fool in creation.’
Her anger faded. His self-blame took her by surprise.
His back was still turned to her, but the angle of the window caught his face. It was only a faint reflection, but she managed to see that he had closed his eyes.
He was more easily hurt than she’d suspected. And his way of coping was to retreat deep inside himself.
But perhaps a little sympathy could still reach him. Gently she touched his arm.
‘I know this is hard for you,’ she began.
‘Nothing I can’t cope with,’ he said firmly, drawing away from her. ‘It’s time I was going. You know where I’m staying?’
‘Yes.’ She named the hotel.
‘Send my bill there and I’ll go as soon as it’s paid. Sorry to have troubled you.’
He gave her a brief nod and departed, leaving her feeling snubbed. One brief expression of sympathy had been enough to make him flee her. But then, she reflected, he hadn’t become a successful businessman by allowing people to get close. For his wife he’d made an exception, and it had been a shattering mistake.
Ellie got back to work, setting out his bill then working out a response to the lawyer’s letter. It took her a few minutes to write a conventional reply, but when she read it through she couldn’t be satisfied. Something told her that Signor Fellani would dislike the restrained wording.
Yet is there any way to phrase this that wouldn’t annoy him? she wondered. He seems to spend his whole life on the verge of a furious temper. Still, I suppose I can hardly blame him now.
She rephrased the letter and considered it critically.
I should have done this while he was here, she mused. Then I could have got his agreement to it. Perhaps I’d better go and see him now, and get this settled.
She went to find Rita.
‘I have to leave. I need to talk to Signor Fellani again. My goodness! Look at the weather.’
‘Snowing fit to bust,’ Rita agreed, glancing out of the window. ‘I don’t envy you driving in that.’
‘Nor do I. But it has to be done.’
She hurried outside to where her car was parked, and turned onto the route that led to the hotel. It was about a mile away, and the last hundred yards took her along the River Thames. Driving slowly because of the snow, she glanced at the pavement, and tensed at what she saw.
He was there by the wall, staring out over the river. A pause in the traffic gave her time to study him as he stood, wrapped in some private world, oblivious to his surroundings, unaware of the snow engulfing him.
She found a space to park, then hurried across the road to Leonizio.
‘Signore!’ she called. ‘I was on my way to your hotel. It’s lucky I happened to notice you here.’
He regarded her, and she had a strange sensation that he didn’t recognise her through the snow.
‘It’s me,’ she said. ‘Your lawyer. We have business to discuss. My car’s waiting over there.’
‘Then we’d better go before you catch your death of cold.’
‘Or you catch yours,’ she retorted. ‘You’re soaking.’
‘Don’t bother about me. Let’s go.’
She led him across the road to where two cars were parked, one shabby, one new and clearly expensive. He headed for the shabby one.
‘Not that one,’ Ellie called, opening the door of the luxury vehicle. ‘Over here.’
‘This?’ he demanded in disbelief. ‘This is yours?’
Obviously he felt that the decrepit little wreck was more her style, she thought, trying not to be offended.
‘I like to own a nice car,’ she said coolly. ‘Get in.’
He did so, and sat in silence while she took the wheel and drove to the hotel. As she pulled into the car park he said, ‘You’re shivering. You got wet.’
‘I’ll be all right when I get home. But first I must come in and show you the letter I wrote to your wife’s lawyer.’
The Handrin Hotel was famed for its luxury, and as she entered it she could understand why. The man who could afford to stay here was hugely successful.
They took the elevator up to his opulent suite on the top floor. Now she could see him more clearly and was even more dismayed by his condition.
‘I’m not the only one who’s wet,’ she said. ‘You were standing too long in that snow. Your hair’s soaking. Better dry it at once, and change your clothes.’
‘Giving me orders?’ he asked wryly.
‘Protecting your interests, which is what I’m employed to do. Now get going.’
He vanished, reappearing ten minutes later in dry clothes. He handed her a towel and with relief she undid her hair, letting it fall about her shoulders so that she could dry it. When he joined her on the sofa she handed him the bill, and the letter she planned to write to his wife’s lawyer.
‘I suppose I’ll have to agree to it,’ he said at last. ‘It doesn’t say what I really think, but it might be better not to say that too frankly.’
‘You’d really like to commit murder, wouldn’t you?’ she said.
He regarded her with wry appreciation.
‘A woman who understands me. You’re perfectly right, but don’t worry. I’m not going to do anything stupid. You won’t have to defend me in court.’
His grin contained a rare glimpse of real humour which she gladly returned, enjoying the sensation of suddenly connecting with him in both thoughts and feelings.
‘I’m glad,’ she said. ‘I’m not sure I’d be up to that task.’
‘Oh, I think you’d be up to anything you set your mind to. Can I offer you a drink?’
Ellie knew she should refuse; she should get this meeting over and done with as quickly as possible. But she still had to get his agreement to send the letter. And she was freezing. A hot drink would be very welcome.
‘I’d love a cup of tea, please.’
He called Room Service and placed an order. While they waited she watched while he read through the papers again.
‘How do you feel about the answer I planned to send to your wife’s lawyer?’ she said.
‘It’s a damned sight too polite. But you haven’t sent it yet?’
‘No. I thought we should talk first.’
‘And what are you going to advise me to do?’
‘Go ahead with the divorce as quickly as possible.’
‘So that she can marry the father and make the child legitimate? Her lawyer said that in his letter, didn’t he? And he told you to persuade me to ‘see sense’.
‘I wish he hadn’t said that—’
‘But that’s how lawyers think,’ he said bitterly. ‘Let my treacherous wife have her way, no matter what it does to me. That’s seeing sense, isn’t it?’
‘Don’t be unfair. I don’t see everything like that.’
‘I think you do. After all, you’re a lawyer.’
‘Yours, not hers. If things were different we could try to make her see sense, but she’s pregnant by another man and there’s nothing to be done about it. The best advice I can offer you is to put her into the past and move on with your life.’
Before he could answer, the doorbell rang and he went to collect the delivery of tea and cakes. He laid the tray on a table near the sofa, sat down beside her and poured tea for her.
‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘I needed this.’
She sipped the hot tea, feeling better at once.
‘How come you were standing by the river?’ she asked. ‘Did the taxi drop you there?’
‘I didn’t take a taxi. I walked all the way. And don’t say it.’
‘Say what?’
‘In this weather? Are you mad? That’s what you’re thinking. It’s written all over your face.’
‘Then I don’t need to say it. But you’ve had a terrible shock. You were bound to go a bit crazy.’
‘Like I said before, I was a fool.’
‘Don’t blame yourself,’ she said gently. ‘You loved her—’
‘Which makes me an even bigger fool,’ he growled.
‘Perhaps. But it’s easy to believe someone if your heart longs to trust them.’
He looked at her with sudden curiosity. ‘You talk as though you really know.’
She shrugged. ‘I’ve had my share of relationship traumas.’
‘Tell me,’ he said quietly.
Her disastrous emotional life wasn’t something she usually talked about, but with this man everything was different. The blow that had struck him down meant that he would understand her as nobody else understood. It was strange to realise that, but everything in the world was becoming different.
‘Romance hasn’t been a large part of my life,’ she said.
‘I guess your career comes first. Your car tells me that.’
It was true. The purchase of the glamorous vehicle had been one of her most delightful experiences.
‘But there has been something, hasn’t there?’ he said. ‘The path I’m treading is one you’ve travelled yourself.’
‘Yes. There was a time when I thought things were going to be different. I allowed myself to have feelings for him and I thought he—well, it just didn’t work out.’
‘Didn’t he love you?’
‘I thought so. We seemed good together, but then he met this other woman—she was a great beauty. Long blonde hair, voluptuous figure—I didn’t stand a chance.’
‘And that was all he cared about? Looks?’
‘So it seemed. Isn’t that what all men care about?’
‘Some. Not all.’ He gave a brief cynical laugh. ‘Some of us can see beyond looks to the person beneath: cold and self-centred or warm and kindly. Didn’t this man see your warmer side? I can see it.’
‘He didn’t think it mattered, unless he could make use of it.’
She made a wry face. ‘You said I’d travelled this road before you, and you were right. I don’t normally talk about it, but at least now you know that this isn’t just a lawyer “seeing sense”. I really do have some idea of what you’re going through. I know what it’s like to be lied to, and to wonder afterwards how I could have been so naïve as not to see through it. But if you don’t want to see through it—’ She sighed.
‘Yes,’ he said heavily. ‘If you don’t want to face the truth, there’s a great temptation to ignore it. You have to beware of that in business, and I suppose it’s true of life as well.’
It was the last thing she had expected him to admit, but something about him had changed. He was speaking with a self-awareness that made him seem more pleasant. It was almost like talking to a different man, a kindly one who felt for her own pain as well as his own.
‘I know this is all very hard for you,’ she said.
He shrugged. ‘I’ll get through it.’ But suddenly his voice changed, became weary. ‘Oh, hell, who am I kidding? Can I call this managing? What she’s done has destroyed the world. I wanted to be a father, to have someone who was really mine. My parents died when I was a child. I was adopted by an uncle and aunt who treated me properly but—well, we were never really close. I believed my wife and I were close, but that proved to be an illusion.
‘Now I realise she was already sleeping with another man, but I never thought of it. Then, suddenly she was gone, demanding a divorce on the grounds that we were incompatible. I found out afterwards that she’d set spies on me to see if I had other women. But I hadn’t. I’d been boringly faithful, which must really have disappointed her.’
‘It certainly weakened her case,’ Ellie agreed.
He gave a grunt of mirthless laughter.
‘And she dumps this news on me on Valentine’s Day. She could hardly have timed it more cynically.’
‘Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day in Italy?’
‘A little. Not as much as you do in England, but enough to make me see the irony. The great day for lovers, except that it’s smothered in snow, both physically and—well, there’s more than one kind of snow.’
‘Yes, it couldn’t have worked out worse, could it?’ she said sadly. ‘I don’t suppose she thought of that—’
‘Of course not. She never thinks of anything except what suits her. But her pregnancy made it all different. The world changed. For the first time ever there was somebody who would be mine, connected to me in a way that nothing and nobody could deny. I told her that I couldn’t let her go. She made a dash for it and came to England because she must have thought divorce would be easier, since we married over here.
‘I followed her, determined to keep her, and if not her then at least my child. But now I learn that the baby’s not even mine—’
‘And I’m afraid it isn’t,’ Ellie murmured.
A tremor went through him. ‘Then I have nothing.’
The way he said ‘nothing’ made her want to reach out to him.
‘You think that now,’ she said gently, ‘but you’ll come through it. There’s always something else in life.’
‘Only if you want something else. What I want is my child. Mine and only mine.’
He spoke like a man used to bending the world to his will. But there was a blank despair in his face, as though even he knew that he couldn’t control this situation.
She guessed that such helplessness was alien to him, and he was finding it frustrating. He was used to giving orders, demanding total subservience, which was why this left him at a loss. Ironically, the strength he was used to wielding had undermined him now. She felt a surge of pity for him.
‘There are other things to care about,’ she urged. ‘You’ll find them.’
But he shook his head. ‘Nothing,’ he said softly. ‘Nothing.’
She gingerly placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. ‘What will you do now?’ she asked.
He sighed.
‘Accept reality in a way I’ve never had to before.’ He frowned. ‘I’m good at arranging things the way I want, or at least persuading myself that I’ve done so.’ He made a wry face. ‘Meet the biggest self-deceiver in the world.’
‘No, you’re strong. And you’ll be strong now.’
‘Why are you so sure? You don’t know me.’
‘Do you know yourself?’
‘I guess not,’ he sighed. ‘Oh, heavens!’
He dropped his head into his hands. Touched, Ellie drew him closer, enfolding him in both arms, her instinct to offer comfort to him overwhelming. He raised his head so that their eyes met, hers gentle and tender, his full of confusion and despair.
‘That must be how it seems now,’ she said gently. ‘But your life isn’t over. You’ll meet someone who’ll love you and give you a child. And the two of you will be united in that child for ever.’
‘You make it sound so easy,’ he whispered.
‘When the time comes it will be easy,’ she promised.
‘For other men perhaps. Not for me. I said I didn’t know myself, but I do know a few things. I know I can come across as overbearing, so that even if I like a woman she recoils from me.’
His words caused a pain in her heart. Driven by an impulse she barely understood, she took his face in her hands.
‘I’m not afraid of you,’ she said softly. ‘Life is treating you cruelly, not the other way around.’
‘How do I stand up to life and fight it back? And if I win, how will I know?’
‘You might never know. Sometimes the fight goes on for ever. But you don’t give in. There’s always something to fight for.’
A new look came into his eyes and he leaned forward until his mouth almost met hers.
‘Yes, there’s always something to fight for,’ he whispered.
The soft touch of his lips sent a tremor through her, then another, with such power and intensity that she had no choice but to return the caress. And then again, responding helplessly to the sweet excitement of the feeling.
‘Ellie,’ he murmured.
‘Yes—yes—’
She could not have explained what she was saying ‘yes’ to. She only knew that the desire to continue doing this had taken possession of her.
She felt his arms going around her tentatively, as though leaving the next move up to her. She returned the embrace, moving her mouth softly against his.
‘Yes,’ she repeated. ‘Yes.’
Then his arms became stronger, his embrace more desperate, and she felt herself drawn into a new world.
CHAPTER TWO (#u7a94027a-0976-5a90-bbd7-77936083e33b)
THE FLIGHT FROM London to Rome took two and a half hours. Ellie spent the time gazing out of the window, trying to escape the thoughts that haunted her. But in her heart she knew there was no escape.
She had thought of herself as sensible, controlled and disciplined. These were the characteristics that had enabled her to keep command of her life. Years of watching the aching unhappiness that had destroyed her parents’ marriage had made her overcautious. Feelings were dangerous things to be kept to herself.
Yet Leonizio had destroyed her caution without even knowing he was doing it. He was a hard man, protected from the world. That was how she saw him, how he preferred to be seen. But suddenly there had been a crack in his armour, giving her a glimpse of the pain concealed within.
Even more surprising had been the sympathy he’d shown for her own troubles. It was the last thing she’d expected from him, and it had softened her heart, making her reach out to him even more intensely.
The result had been devastating. She had meant only to offer him comfort. Yet the touch of his lips had sent desire and emotion blazing through her, destroying common sense, destroying caution, destroying everything but the need to travel this road to the end.
Night after night the memories returned as she lay alone. The sudden cool air on her skin as he’d stripped away her clothes and laid his lips against her breasts; the fierce yearning for him to touch her more—then more—and more. Finally the great moment when he had taken her completely, and everything in her had rejoiced.
It was something she would never forget: the fierce pleasure, unlike anything she had ever known before, the blazing satisfaction as they both climaxed. The feeling of empty desolation as they’d parted, each avoiding the other’s eyes.
When her mind cleared she was shocked at herself for having given in to her feelings without caution. But how could she have thought about it in advance when it had sprung on her out of nowhere, like a storm from a calamitous sky?
And if I’d seen it coming I wouldn’t have let it happen, she mused. Would that have been better?
She found that a hard question to answer. Would it really have been better not to discover the fierce pleasure of his lovemaking?
And could she have turned away from Leonizio when everything in her had flamed with need of him?
When it was over there had been the dizzying sensation of seeing her own reflection, her locks cascading about her shoulders. It was like meeting another person and trying to believe that it was herself.
Silently she’d addressed the woman in the mirror.
I guess you’re my other self. A different me, and yet the same me. I’ve never met you before, and I’m not sure I want you to hang around. You’ve already got me into trouble.
To make certain of it, she pulled her hair back again, fixing it tightly as before.
Now stay away, she told her other self, now fading into the mists.
If Leonizio noticed that she had changed selves he didn’t mention it. He’d paid his bill and they bade each other a polite farewell.
He’d soon returned to Italy and after that they had communicated only formally. He had abandoned his claim on his wife’s child and the divorce was moving to a speedy conclusion. That was the end, she told herself. Leonizio no longer needed her professional services and each could forget that the other existed,
Eight weeks had passed since she’d last seen him. She’d spent the intervening time telling herself that it had been a fantasy. Nothing had really happened.
But, with shattering impact, she had discovered that she was wrong. She’d been reckless to sleep with him, but they had used protection. Only it must have failed. It had to have failed. She was carrying his child.
To make her troubles worse, she desperately needed someone with whom she could share the news. But she was alone. Both her parents had died several years before, and there were no other family members that she was close enough to confide in.
Suddenly her life had become a desert. She was thirty-eight, and pregnant by a man four years younger than herself. Who else could she tell but her baby’s father? However hard it would be to manage, they must have one more meeting so that she could reveal the news that changed the world.
By good luck some papers arrived that required his signature.
‘Best not entrust these to the post,’ she’d said to Dallon. ‘I’ll hand deliver them.’
‘There’s no need for you to go all the way to Italy to be a messenger,’ he’d protested. ‘There’s a firm I can use to deliver this stuff.’
‘I think it would help if I was with him when he signs, in case he raises any problems.’
‘Fair enough.’ He’d given her a friendly grin. ‘You weren’t planning on doing some sightseeing in Rome as well?’
‘Well, it’s my grandmother’s city and I’ve always longed to see it.’
‘Ah, I see. Get a sneaky holiday under the guise of duty. Very clever.’
He’d winked kindly. ‘All right, I’ll fall for it. You’re due for a break.’
She’d smiled and let the matter go. Anything was better than having him suspect her real reason for going to Rome.
She’d emailed Leonizio that she would bring the papers and set off at once, without waiting for his reply. There was a flight due to leave that same day.
She landed in Rome in the evening, too late to go to his office, so she made for the Piazza Navona.
It was among the most prosperous places in the great city. Here, Leonizio’s business centre was located, with his apartment two streets away. Checking into a nearby hotel, Ellie asked herself for the hundredth time whether she was doing the right thing in coming here. But these days most of her own actions confused her.
I was mad to come, she mused. I should have sent someone else. I was also mad to go into his arms, but it all happened so fast I couldn’t think. I have to see him. I have to tell him everything myself.
Briefly, she considered letting her hair hang loose, but all her defensive instincts rose against it for fear that he would get the wrong idea.
‘I don’t want him thinking that other me is still around. He must have no doubt who he’s dealing with now.’
From their correspondence she knew his private address. As the light faded she slipped out of the hotel and made her way to the nearby street where he lived. There was an elegant block of apartments, with lights in almost every window. She looked up, wondering if she might see him.
Several minutes passed while she tried to pluck up the courage to ring the bell. But she couldn’t manage it, and had almost decided to retreat when the sight of him at a window made her draw in a sharp breath. He pushed it open, leaning out, while she stood, tense and undecided. She was just beginning to back into the shadows when he looked down.
His face was in shadow but there was no mistaking the shock that pervaded his whole body.
‘Ellie? Ellie?’
‘Yes, it’s me,’ she called back.
‘Wait there.’
He was with her in a moment, ushering her inside and towards the elevator, which took them up to the second floor. Once they were inside his apartment she walked ahead a few steps, then turned and saw him standing by the door, regarding her curiously.
‘I couldn’t believe it was really you down there,’ he said.
He approached and put his hands on her shoulders.
‘Let me look at you,’ he said. ‘It is you, isn’t it?’
‘Can you doubt it?’
‘Maybe. You look like a woman I once knew—just for a short time.’
A very short time, she thought. And we didn’t know each other, except in one particular sense.
Aloud, she said, ‘Nobody stays the same for ever.’
‘That’s true. So tell me, has the divorce hit a new problem at the last minute?’
‘No, you have nothing to worry about. Harriet has signed all the papers so far, and we’ve fixed a date for her to sign the rest. There are some more forms for you to sign, and then it will be pretty much over. I’ve brought a few of them with me.’
‘Instead of just putting them in the mail? Thank you so much.’
‘Things can get lost in the mail,’ she said. She was prevaricating as the crucial moment neared, but she knew she must soon summon up her courage.
‘Here they are,’ she said, drawing out the papers.
He seized them eagerly. Watching his face, she saw it flooded with relief tinged by a hint of sadness.
‘It’s nearly over,’ he murmured. ‘I’ll soon be free of her. But I’ll also be free of the child who should have been mine, and that’s a freedom I never wanted.’
‘But soon you’ll have the final documents, and then you can make a new life.’
‘That’s what I tell myself, but I keep thinking of that little boy. Even though he isn’t born yet, I loved him so much. But the love must stop.’
‘And now you think you have nobody to love,’ she said gently.
‘That’s one way of putting it.’
‘But it isn’t true. I came to see you because—’ She paused. Now that the moment had arrived she was suddenly nervous.
‘I needed to see you,’ she said slowly. ‘There’s something I have to tell you.’ She took a deep breath. ‘I’m pregnant.’
She wasn’t sure what reaction she’d expected, but not the total silence that greeted her. At last he managed to speak in a voice so low that it was almost inaudible.
‘What—did you say?’
‘I’m pregnant. That night we were together—there was a consequence.’
He drew in a sharp breath. ‘Are you telling me that—?’
‘That I’m carrying your baby.’
‘But we used protection. How can that be? You’re sure? Quite certain?’
‘I promise I’m not trying to trick you. You’re the father. It has to be you because there’s nobody else it could be. I don’t know how but the condom must have become damaged. I swear I didn’t plan this...’
‘I wasn’t accusing you of— I only meant—are you sure you’re pregnant?’
‘There’s no doubt of it. I did a test. It was positive.’
Suddenly the tension drained from his face. Now there was only a blazing smile.
‘Yes!’ he cried. ‘Yes!’
He tightened his grip and drew her forward against him in a hug so fierce that she gasped.
‘Sorry,’ he said, loosening his clasp. ‘I must be careful of you now.’
‘It’s all right,’ she said. ‘I’m not delicate.’
‘Yes, you are. You’re frail and vulnerable and I must do everything to look after you and our child.’
He led her to the sofa and nudged her gently until she sat down.
‘How long have you been sure?’ he asked.
‘A couple of weeks.’
‘And you waited this long to tell me?’
‘I’ve been trying to get my head around it.’
‘Is that all?’ he asked quietly.
She felt she understood his true meaning and said, ‘Look, I told you, you’re the father. There are simply no other candidates. There’s nobody else. You have to believe me.’
‘I do believe you. You told me before that your relationships tended to be unsuccessful. It sounds like a lonely life.’
‘Yes,’ she said thoughtfully. ‘It has been.’
‘But not any more. When we’re married you’ll have me to care for you.’
‘Wait!’ She stopped him. ‘Did you say “married”?’
‘Of course. Why do you look so surprised? Did you think I wouldn’t want to marry you?’
‘To be honest, I never even considered it.’
‘But you must have been thinking of the future when you came here to tell me. What did you expect would happen?’
‘I thought you’d be pleased. You want a child. I can give you one.’
‘And I can give you a lot—a good life with everything you want.’
‘But I’d lose my career, which I enjoy. I’d lose my country. We barely know each other but you expect me to move into a new world with you—’
‘And our child.’
‘Our child will live with me in England. But I’ll put your name on the birth certificate and you can see him or her whenever you like.’
It was sad to see how the eagerness drained from his face, replaced by something that might have been despair. He dropped his head into his hands, staying there for a long moment while she thought she saw a tremor go through him.
‘It’s too soon to make a decision,’ he said at last.
Tact prevented her from pointing out that she’d already made her decision. Clearly he didn’t regard it as final until it suited him.
‘I’m going back to the hotel,’ she said.
‘I’ll drive you.’
‘No need. It’s only a couple of streets away. Just a short walk.’
‘But you must be careful about getting tired now. My car’s just below.’
‘Signor Fellani—’
‘Don’t you think you could call me Leonizio—under the circumstances?’
‘Yes, I suppose so.’
‘Let’s go.’
He put his arm protectively around her. She gave in, letting him take her downstairs, into the car and back to the hotel, where he escorted her up to her room.
‘I’ll collect you tomorrow morning,’ he said. ‘We have a lot to talk about.’ He grew tense suddenly. ‘You will be here, won’t you?’
‘I’ve arranged to have several days off, so I don’t have to dash back.’
‘Fine. I’ll collect you tomorrow morning.’
For a moment she thought he might kiss her, but something made him back off, bid her farewell with a nod and retreat down the corridor until he was out of sight. With any other man she would have felt that he’d fled for safety, but with Leonizio that was impossible.
Wasn’t it?
After the traumatic events of the day it was good to be alone. She needed to think. Or perhaps just to feel. She went to bed early, hoping to sleep at once, but sleep wouldn’t come.
She had a strange feeling of being transported back to the past, when she had been a child, watching the misery of her parents’ life together. They had married only because Janet, her mother, was pregnant. Ellie recalled an atmosphere of hostility between two people who didn’t belong together, even with a shared child.
‘I should have known it could never work,’ Janet had once told her bitterly. ‘But our families were thrilled at the thought of a grandchild, and determined to make sure of it. So they pressured us into marriage.’
‘Didn’t you love Dad?’ Ellie had once asked. ‘I thought that sometimes there seemed to be love—’
‘Oh, yes, sometimes. He was a handsome man and all the girls were wild for him. They envied me being his wife, but he only married me because he was backed into a corner. After a while I started to have feelings for him, and I thought I could make him return them. But it didn’t work. Why should he bother to court me when he already had me there to do his bidding? You have to keep a man wanting, and if you can’t do that he’ll take advantage of it.’
Thinking back now, Ellie remembered that the only happiness had come from her grandmother, Lelia, who was Italian. She had married an Englishman, given up her country to live with him in England, and been left stranded by his death. When her son, Ellie’s father, married she’d moved in with him and his wife.
Ellie had been close to her grandmother. Lelia had enjoyed nothing better than regaling her with tales of Italy, and teaching her some of the language. It had been a severe loss when she died.
Without her kindly presence Ellie’s parents had grown more hostile to each other, until their inevitable divorce.
‘Will you be all right on your own?’ Ellie had ventured to ask her mother.
‘I won’t be on my own. I’ve got you.’
‘But—you know what I mean.’
‘You mean without a husband? I’ll actually be better off without him. Better no man at all than the wrong man. Better no relationship than a bad one.’
Life was hard. Her father paid them as little as he could get away with, and Janet took a job with low wages. Determined to have a successful career, Ellie had buried herself in schoolwork, coming top of the class. In this she was encouraged by her mother, who told her time and again that independence was the surest road to freedom.
‘Have your own career, your own life,’ she’d urged. ‘Never be completely dependent on a man.’
Ellie had heeded the lesson, took a law degree at university and qualified as a solicitor with flying colours. Alex Dallon was eager to employ her. She was a success.
The firm specialised in divorce cases. In the years she had worked there she’d witnessed every kind of break-up for every kind of reason. She’d soon realised that wretchedly unhappy marriages were more common than she’d thought. Men and women swore eternal love and fidelity, then turned on each other in a miasma of hate and mistrust. She wondered if love was ever successful.
Her own experiences gave her no cause for comfort. There were men attracted by her wit and her lively personality. But the attraction soon died when they were faced with an intelligence often sharper than their own, and an efficiency that tolerated no nonsense.
Finally there had been the man she’d described to Leonizio, briefly interested in her but then leaving her for a woman of more conventional charms.
Besides, how could Leonizio want marriage after the disaster that was his last one? His divorce wasn’t even through. He’d be mad to even entertain the idea of getting involved again so soon.
No, whatever the solution was for her situation with Leonizio, it certainly wasn’t marriage. They were both adults. She felt sure that they could come up with a solution for sharing their child that would suit them both.
Reassured that her sensible side had returned, she turned over and drifted off to sleep.
* * *
Next morning she went downstairs to eat breakfast in the restaurant. Her table was by the window, looking out on the street. After a while she saw a familiar figure appear, heading for the hotel entrance. She hurried out into the lobby, waving to Leonizio, and he followed her back into the restaurant.
‘Did you sleep well?’ he asked as they sipped coffee.
‘Not really. Too much to mull over. You?’
‘Same with me. Have you done any more thinking about what we discussed yesterday?’
‘We agreed to be good parents, friendly for our child’s sake.’
‘That isn’t what I meant. I proposed marriage. You were going to consider it.’
‘I gave you my answer last night.’
He didn’t reply at once, seeming sunk in thought. At last he said, ‘We’re still virtually strangers. It can’t work like that. At least let’s spend some time getting to know each other. You might find I’m not the monster you think me.’
‘Or I might find you’re worse,’ she said in a teasing voice.
‘I’ll just have to take that risk. I want you to stay with me. You’ll find the spare room very comfortable. My housekeeper will take care of you.’
‘But—I’m not sure. It might be better if I stayed in the hotel.’
‘The more time we spend together the better it will be.’
‘But I don’t think—’
She stopped as she saw a young man approaching their table. He handed Leonizio a piece of paper, saying, ‘Ecco la ricevuta, signore.’
Ellie frowned, recognising just one word. Ricevuta meant receipt.
‘Receipt?’ she asked when the man had gone.
‘I’ve paid your bill here. I called them last night and paid over the phone. There’s no reason why the cost should fall on you.’
It sounded fine and generous, but something about it made her uneasy.
‘Last night?’ she queried. ‘Why? My bill won’t need to be paid until I check out.’
‘Actually—you already have.’
‘What? You mean you—?’
‘I told them you would be leaving this morning.’
‘Oh, really? And the little matter of consulting me slipped your mind. So this is your way of showing me that you’re not a monster?’
‘I just want you to stay with me. Ellie, you’re important to me—both of you. I couldn’t let you go.’
‘You mean you couldn’t let me do what I want if it conflicts with what you want.’
‘It’ll help us get to know each other really well so that we can plan out a future that’s good for all of us. Isn’t that what we both want?’
Ellie regarded him with her head on one side. ‘So that’s how you do it.’
‘Do what?’
‘Conduct your business. Nobody else stands a chance, do they? You get the better of the other guy by doing something outrageous that he can’t fight. Then you put on an innocent look and say, “Isn’t that what we both want?” And he gives in. Or so you hope. And that way you get everyone so scared of you that they can’t fight back.’
‘Are you scared of me, Ellie? Strange that I never noticed. You’re not afraid of anyone.’
‘True. And in my own way I too can be fearsome. I keep my worst side hidden until it leaps out and catches you unprepared. So be very careful.’
‘I’ll bear your warning in mind. As for persuading you to stay with me—I guess I used the wrong method. Perhaps I should try another way.’
‘Such as what?’
‘I could beg you.’ He assumed a slightly theatrical air. ‘Please, Ellie, do this for me. Please. Stay with me for the next couple of days, at least until we can agree on the best way to move forward with this situation.’
Ellie had to concede that he had a point. They did need to sort things out. And maybe a venue more private than a busy hotel was a better place to plan their future. ‘I will stay with you, but only for a few days. And I won’t be sharing your bed.’
He nodded, giving her an unexpectedly warm smile.
‘Whatever you want, Ellie. I only want to make this work. When you’re ready we’ll go up and collect your things.’
‘Let’s go,’ she said.
Be realistic, she told herself. He changed tactics and got his own way again. And he thinks he always will. But he’s got another think coming.
Upstairs, she packed quickly, then let him carry her bags down to the car. A few minutes and they had reached his home. As they approached the front door, a window opened high above them and a young woman looked out, smiling and waving down to them. Leonizio waved back.
The front door was already open as they approached. The young woman stood there, smiling.
‘Mamma indisposta,’ she said. ‘Non puo venire oggi.’
Ellie just managed to understand this as, ‘Mamma is unwell. She can’t come today.’
‘Better speak English,’ Leonizio said. ‘Ellie, this is Corina. Her mother is my housekeeper.’
‘But today she has a bad headache,’ Corina said. ‘So I came instead. I must go now, or my husband will be cross.’ She smiled at Ellie. ‘But first I show you your room.’
The room was large and luxurious, dominated by a double bed.
‘The signore left before I arrived,’ Corina said, ‘but he left a note saying everything in this room was to be perfect for you.’
‘How kind of him,’ Ellie said politely.
So he’d left those instructions before she had agreed to come here, she thought. Just as he’d checked her out of the hotel without asking her. Those were his methods, and she would have to be always on her guard.
Corina helped her unpack, then went out to Leonizio, who paid her and showed her out.
‘Let’s have some coffee,’ he said to Ellie.
He made good coffee, and they sat together in the kitchen.
‘We can make our arrangements,’ he said. ‘You can tell me how you want things to be.’
‘Is that meant to be a joke? How I want things? After the way you’ve controlled me today. You ordered the room to be fixed before I’d even agreed to come.’ She gave a brief laugh. ‘Suppose you hadn’t been able to get me here? You’d have looked foolish in front of Corina.’
‘It wouldn’t have done my dignity any good,’ he agreed. ‘And you’d have enjoyed that. I’m going to have to beware of you.’
‘As long as you realise that.’
Before he could reply the telephone rang. He answered it, spoke tersely in rapid-fire Italian and hung up.
‘I’ve got to go to my office for a couple of hours. Why not come with me and let me show you around?’
‘Thank you but there’s no need. I won’t escape. I promise.’
He made a wry face. ‘I wasn’t exactly thinking that—oh, hell, yes, I was.’
‘I wonder what your employees would think if they saw how easily you get into a panic.’
‘Only with you. You’re the scariest person I know.’
‘Then I’ll just have to stick around for the pleasure of scaring you.’
He smiled suddenly, but his smile was quickly replaced by a frown. ‘I have to be going. I’ll be back as soon as I can.’
He departed quickly, leaving her to lean from the window, watching him until he vanished. She had a good view of the neighbourhood, with its expensive shops and elegant roads.
So many roads, she thought. And no way of seeing where they all led.
CHAPTER THREE (#u7a94027a-0976-5a90-bbd7-77936083e33b)
LEFT ALONE, ELLIE explored the luxurious apartment. Her own room was large with a double bed, extensive wardrobes and bulky drawers. Putting her things away, she couldn’t help noticing how plain and dull they looked in these glamorous surroundings.
If I was in search of a rich husband I’d jump at his offer, she thought wryly. But I’m looking for something else in a husband. Something Leonizio can’t give me. Not that he’ll ever understand that. He’s got money and why should a wife ask for anything else? That’s how he sees it.
She switched on the television and sat watching a news channel, discovering that her understanding of Italian was better than she’d thought.
I could do with something to read, she mused after a couple of hours. That looks like a newsagent just over the road. Let’s see if they’ve got any English papers.
Hurrying downstairs, she crossed the road to the shop, which turned out to be a delightful place, full of foreign publications. By the time she left she had an armful of papers.
But a shock awaited her when she arrived back at Leonizio’s apartment. As she reached the front door she could hear him inside, shouting, ‘Where are you? Where are you?’
There was something in his voice that hadn’t been there before. It was no longer the cry of a bully demanding obedience, but the misery of a man in despair. She thought she could guess the reason. Once before he had gone home to find his wife vanished, taking with her the unborn child on which he pinned his hopes. Now he was reliving that moment, fearing that he was deserted again, seeing his world collapse and everything he valued snatched from him.
‘Where are you?’ came the frantic cry again.
Unable to bear it any longer, she opened the door. At the same moment he strode out so quickly that he collided with her, forcing her to cling to him to avoid falling. He tightened his grip and they stood for a moment, locked in each other’s arms.
‘So there you are,’ he snapped.
‘Yes, I’m here.’
‘Come in,’ he said, still holding onto her as he led her inside. His arms about her were tight, as though he feared to release her.
He saw her onto the sofa, then stood back and regarded her uneasily.
‘Did I hurt you?’ he growled.
‘Not at all. But there was no need for you to get worked up. I just slipped out for a moment to buy a few things over the road. I’m here now.’
He sat down beside her.
‘You should have left a note saying where you’d gone.’ He spoke calmly but his face was tense.
‘Yes, perhaps I should have done that,’ she said, ‘but I knew I’d only be away for a couple of minutes, and I thought I’d be back here before you returned. I’m sorry. I really am.’
She spoke gently, regretting the distress she’d caused him. When he didn’t answer she reached out to put a hand on his shoulder.
‘Finding the place empty made you think I’d deserted you, taking your baby, as Harriet did.’
His shoulders sagged. ‘You’re right,’ he said heavily.
‘But I promised to stay, and I’ll keep that promise. So stop worrying, Leonizio. It’s not going to happen again. If you need to go out, just go. I’ll always be here when you get back. Word of honour.’
He turned, looking her in the eyes as though he couldn’t quite believe what he heard.
‘Really? You mean that?’
‘When I give a promise I keep it. You have to trust me, Leonizio.’
‘I do trust you. Completely.’
‘But you’re still afraid I might betray you as she did.’
‘No. You’re not like her.’
‘Then relax.’
He smiled and squeezed her hand.
‘Actually, I need to go out again for a little while,’ he said. ‘Why don’t you rest, and when I return I’ll take you out for dinner? We can start to get to know each other.’
‘That would be lovely, Leonizio,’ she said.
He seemed to relax but she knew the pain and fear she had heard in his voice had been real. It was there in his heart, and she would always remember it.
‘Go out,’ she said. ‘And stop worrying.’
‘I’ll try.’
He departed, giving her a brief glance before he left.
She was glad to be alone again that afternoon. Since her arrival in Rome, everything that had happened had disconcerted her. Leonizio’s reaction had only underlined how little she knew him.
But something else disturbed her even more. It was the memory of their collision in the corridor, the way his arms had enfolded her. She knew he’d been protecting her from a fall, but the sensation of being held against his body had been shattering, recalling another time.
That night still lived in her heart, her mind and her senses. She, who had never before even considered a one-night stand, had gone willingly into this one, letting it tempt her as though it was the most natural and the most desirable thing in the world.
She had come to Rome because Leonizio had the right to know about his child, yet she was still determined to stay in control of herself and the situation. Perhaps it was going to be harder than she had thought, but she was strong. Whatever disagreements they might have, she would be the winner. On that she was determined.
She prepared for the evening ahead with a shower, followed by an inspection of her clothes. She had nothing glamorous, but a simple green dress gave her an air of quiet elegance.
She hesitated briefly over her hair, finally deciding to wear it pulled back, sending a silent message that tonight her controlled self was the one in command.
When she heard Leonizio’s key in the lock she positioned herself so that he could see her as soon as he entered, and was rewarded by the look of relief that dawned in his eyes as soon as he saw her.
‘Let’s go,’ he said.
His car was waiting below, with a smartly dressed chauffeur in attendance. He opened a rear door, bowing to Ellie.
‘Take us to the Venere,’ Leonizio told him.
Ellie gave him a quick startled glance.
‘Is that the Venere Hotel, near the Colosseum?’ she asked.
‘Yes. It’s got a fine restaurant. You know it?’
‘I’ve heard of it,’ she said.
Lelia, her Italian grandmother, had worked in the Venere and had described it as one of the most luxurious places in Rome. It would be fascinating to see it now, Ellie thought.
She understood its reputation as soon as they arrived. The building looked as though it had once been a palace. Inside, a waiter greeted them and led them to a table by the window, from which she could see the Colosseum, the huge amphitheatre built nearly two thousand years ago.
‘It’s eerie,’ she mused. ‘Once people crowded there for the pleasure of seeing victims fed to the lions. Now the tourists go because it’s beautiful and fascinating. And maybe we’ve all got somebody we’d like to see fed to the lions.’
‘You wouldn’t be aiming that at me, would you?’ he queried.
‘I’m not sure,’ she said. ‘I’ll let you know when I’ve decided.’
‘Well, I can’t say I haven’t been warned.’
‘Right. I can be a real pain in the neck. You’ll probably be glad to be rid of me.’
‘Forget it. There’s no way you’ll escape.’
She gave him a teasing smile. ‘Surely you don’t want a woman who’s a pestiferous nuisance?’
He returned the smile. ‘I might. They can often be the most fun.’
He held out his hand and she shook it. ‘As long as we understand each other,’ she said.
‘Perhaps we always did.’
‘No, I don’t think we ever did.’
While he was considering this a waiter approached with a menu, which he gave to Ellie.
‘Need any help?’ Leonizio asked.
‘I can manage the Italian but I’ll need you to explain the food to me. What’s Coda all Vaccinara?’
‘Stewed oxtail in tomato sauce,’ Leonizio told her.
‘It sounds nice. I’d like to have some.’
‘May I suggest the Frascati wine to go with it, signorina?’ the waiter said.
‘No,’ Leonizio said at once. ‘Sparkling water for the lady. No alcohol.’
‘And for you, signore?’
‘I’ll have the Frascati.’
When the waiter had retired, Leonizio said, ‘I know you can’t drink wine while you’re pregnant.’
She didn’t reply and after a moment he demanded, ‘Why are you glaring at me?’
‘I’m not.’
‘Yes, you are. You’d like to thump me.’
‘That’s very perceptive of you. All right, the way you made that decision without consulting me makes me think a good thump might be satisfying.’
‘You do me an injustice. I paid you the compliment of assuming that you would already have made the sensible decision. You’re such an efficient, businesslike person that—’
‘All right, all right. You can stop there. You always know what to say, don’t you?’
He gave her a cheerful grin. ‘Luckily for me, yes. With some combatants it’s a useful skill.’
‘Is that what we are? Combatants?’
‘Not all the time. But it’s something that’s going to crop up now and then.’
‘Now and then. I suppose that’s true.’
‘And while we can have an evening out like this, we can relax together and find a way to solve the problem.’
His tone was friendly, but a man working at a business arrangement might have spoken in just this way, she thought.
‘How are you feeling now?’ he asked.
‘Fine. That rest did me good. Now I’m in the mood to enjoy myself.’
‘You’re all right after what I put you through?’
‘You mean when you got so upset because I wasn’t there? I’m sorry for the whole thing. It must have been terrible for you, feeling like you were reliving the past.’
He nodded. ‘It was exactly the same. I came home one day and she’d gone. She didn’t leave a note. I was left to wonder until an email arrived the next day.
‘Yes. Coming back to an empty house is something I don’t cope with very well.’ He gave a brief self-mocking laugh. ‘I remember telling you that we should discover things about each other. Well, that’s something you’ve discovered. Perhaps you should take warning.’
‘I’ve already had plenty to warn me, and there’s nothing I can’t cope with. Beware. This lioness has claws.’
‘Well, I know that. They left a few scratches on me when we were together.’
She drew a sharp breath. His words brought back the memory of the time she had spent in his arms, overcome by a physical excitement she’d never known before. Bereft of all self-control, she had clutched him in a fever of desire that it shocked her to remember now.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said hastily. ‘I didn’t mean to hurt you.’
‘Don’t apologise. It was an accident. The world seemed to change that night, as though we’d become different people.’
‘Yes, that’s true. I no longer really know what to think about anything.’
‘Is that why you refuse to marry me?’
‘I haven’t actually refused. I just can’t take it for granted, the way you did. I don’t like being given orders.’
‘That’s not what I did.’
‘But it is. You just assumed I’d jump at the chance to marry you. How arrogant is that?’
She gave a brief laugh. ‘I once looked up your name and found that Leonizio means ‘lion-like’. That says it all about you. The lion rules the plains, and Leonizio thinks he can rule wherever he likes.’
Briefly she wondered if she was wise to risk offending him, but his smile contained only wry amusement.
‘Except for the lioness,’ he said. ‘She could stand up to him better than anyone else.’
She nodded. ‘As long as he understands that.’
‘He understands completely. And he knows he’ll have to be cleverer than usual to achieve victory.’
‘But he doesn’t really doubt that he’ll be the winner, does he?’
‘Tact prevents me answering that.’ He raised his glass. ‘Here’s to victory—for both of us.’
She raised her own glass and they clinked.
‘As long as we each understand what victory means,’ he said. ‘You know what it means to me but—’ He paused.
‘You just can’t understand why I don’t jump at the chance to marry you, can you?’ she said.
‘I’m not the conceited oaf that makes me sound. As a person I may not be likeable. I understand that.’
‘Is that what your wife said?’
‘She said plenty about me. None of it good, in the end.’
‘In my experience, marriage ends badly. My parents divorced. You’re about to be divorced. It’s par for the course, it seems. Can you blame me for refusing you?’
‘Yes, but don’t forget that not all marriages need end that way. Ours would be different. We would be entering it with our eyes wide open. What do I have to offer to persuade you?’
‘You don’t understand. It’s what I’d lose. My country, my career, my freedom, my independence. I’m not ready to rush into it.’
‘Not even to benefit our child?’
‘But does marriage always benefit the child?’ she asked. ‘My parents were married and the unhappiness filled the air. I need to know—this is going to sound crazy to you—but I need to know that we can be friends.’
‘I don’t think it’s crazy at all. It makes sense.’ He gave a contented nod. ‘We’ve got a while to get to know each other, and hopefully like each other.’
‘Yes,’ she said eagerly. ‘That’s the luckiest thing that can happen to a child, that its parents can be best friends.’
‘You think that’s luckier than if the parents love each other?’
‘It can be. Friendship doesn’t have so many ups and downs, so many dramas and crises. I can remember coming home from school wondering if my parents were speaking to each other today. When I got the lead in the school play they each came to a different performance. It would have been lovely if they’d come together and we’d had an evening as a happy family, but—’ she shrugged ‘—that’s how it was.’
Suddenly they were surrounded by applause. A man had appeared, bearing a guitar. He bowed to the guests at the tables who were applauding his entrance, and began to sing. Ellie listened with pleasure as he made his way between the tables, coming close until she could see him clearly. Noticing that she was delighted, Leonizio signalled to the man. He approached them, carolling cheerfully, until Leonizio held out a generous tip. He bowed and departed. When he finished his performance she clapped eagerly.
‘That was lovely,’ she said. ‘It’s such a nice, cheeky song.’
‘You understood it?’ Leonizio asked, astonished. ‘But he was singing in Roman dialect. I know you understand some Italian, but dialect?’
‘My grandmother used to sing it to me when I was a little girl. She came from Rome; she was born and spent her early years in Trastevere and she told me so much about it that I longed to see it. I loved my grandmother so much. I used to call her Nonna when I knew that was what Italians called their grandmothers. Now I’m here I feel wonderfully close to her.’
‘Tell me about her.’
‘She’s the reason I’d heard of the Venere. Years ago she worked here as a chambermaid.’
‘Here? In this very building?’
‘Yes. Then she met an Englishman who was a guest, and they fell in love. He took her back to England with him. They married and had a son, my father. Sadly, my grandfather didn’t live very long. Nonna mostly brought up my father on her own. When he married my mother she lived with them, looking after me.
‘So you’re nearly as much Italian as English?’
‘In some ways. My mother didn’t really like my grandmother very much. She said Nonna was a bad influence on me. She was very cross one day when she found her playing me some music. It was opera and my mother said it was way above my head.’
‘And was it?’
‘No, I like opera because of its terrific tunes. That’s all.’
‘So if I want to take you to an opera that would be a mark in my favour?’
‘It would be lovely.’
‘You’re so knowledgeable that I’m sure you know about the Caracalla Baths.’
‘They were a kind of spa built by the Emperor Caracalla nearly two thousand years ago. There’s very little left standing, but what’s left is used as a theatre for open-air performances.’
‘Right. They open every summer, but this year they’re doing a special run in April. We’ll get the programme and you can take your pick.’
‘That’s lovely. Oh, how I wish I had Nonna here now so that she could see me becoming her real granddaughter after all this time. She died many years ago, and I miss her so much.’
‘You’re going to enjoy Rome, I promise you.’
Of course he wanted her to enjoy Rome, because it would make it easier for him to persuade her to stay and marry him. A slightly cynical voice whispered this in her mind, but she refused to let it worry her. Leonizio was handsome and attentive and part of her simply wanted to relax and be with him.
A sudden loud noise announced the arrival of a crowd. The waiter dashed around, trying to find room for them all. Ellie closed her eyes, trying to shut out the commotion. These days she tired easily.
‘Perhaps we should go,’ Leonizio said wryly, looking at her. ‘It’s time you were getting some rest.’
‘Giving me orders again?’
‘Yes.’ He said it with a smile that made the word humorous.
‘In that case I’d better obey,’ she chuckled.
A few minutes’ drive brought them home. He saw her to her bedroom door.
‘Is there anything I can do for you?’
‘No, thank you. I have all I need.’
‘Go to bed, then.’
For a moment he seemed on the verge of kissing her, but he only opened the door and indicated for her to go in.
‘Goodnight,’ he said softly. ‘Sleep well.’
‘And you.’
She slipped inside and closed the door.
Now she could go to bed and try to come to terms with everything that was happening to her. It was hard because so many things in her mind seemed to direct her two ways. Some were troublesome, others suggested the hope of happiness if only she could understand many ideas. Still trying to get clear, she faded into sleep.
Suddenly she found herself in a new place, one where there were no boundaries, no definite positions. Here there was only mist and sensation, leading her forward into an unknown world.
But she realised that it wasn’t completely unknown. She had been here once before in another life, another universe, one that was still offering intriguing possibilities. She could feel again the sweetness that had tempted her, the touch so different from anything she had known.
But there was also the apprehension at the way she was losing control. Deep inside her a nervous voice was crying out.
‘What am I doing? Do I dare do this? Am I just a little mad? Or am I turning into somebody else—somebody I don’t know? I mustn’t do this...not now—not this time—’
Even as she spoke, she gasped with the tremor of remembered sensation that possessed her.
Be strong, whispered the warning voice. Stay in control. You lost control that time and you’re paying for it. You know that.
‘Yes, I do. And I mustn’t—no—no!’
Then everything changed. There was a pounding on her door. The next moment Leonizio was there, leaning over her, taking her in his arms.
‘Ellie,’ he said hoarsely. ‘Ellie! Wake up!’
The sound of his voice startled her awake. Gradually her breathing slowed and the world came back into focus. She found that she was clinging to him.
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