The Secret Child
Jamie Ann Denton
He'd Been Cheated Out of Fatherhood!Cole Ballinger had loved Marni Rodgers with all the passion of first love. THen she'd abandoned him for the bright lights of California, and he'd spent far too much time wondering why. Until he met Jenna, his daughter. The daughter Marni had kept secret for twelve years.Stunned, Cole was determined to make up for all the years he'd missed in Jenna's life. If Marni wasn't prepared to let him be a full-time father now, he'd sue for custody. He couldn't let her cheat him out of something so precious twice!
The Secret Child
Jamie Ann Denton
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
For Tony
For two decades of love and encouragement, patience and understanding and not having me committed when I argue with my characters
And Janelle Denison
For having the wisdom to look inside and the generosity to highlight the positive
And for not paying attention in history class.
CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE (#udc9c6bdb-d31c-57f3-801e-02705816942d)
CHAPTER TWO (#ue5d23986-8448-5c97-a018-0f95cc378732)
CHAPTER THREE (#u858d7c8b-4d5a-5c75-858c-114de363f59a)
CHAPTER FOUR (#u6d278030-14fd-5a6e-88ba-34ce9194939a)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FOURTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
EPILOGUE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE
M ARNI RODGERS TURNED to face the reporters. They were out in full force today. Bright lights from television cameras reflected off the heavy wood interior of the courtroom. The august forum had been transformed into a media circus. Dozens of reporters thrust microphones into her face as cameras clicked all around her, and Marni knew her photo would be splashed across the pages of newspapers throughout the nation. Her conviction of the serial killer had seen to that.
Grabbing her dilapidated briefcase from the table, she moved forward, trying to ignore the shouted questions.
“Ms. Rodgers, will the state be seeking the death penalty?”
“Yes, we will.”
“Marni, will the D.A. be assigning you to ‘death row’ now?”
She recognized the voice of Mack Henley, a field reporter from the Times, and grinned, dropping her professional demeanor for a split second. Death row was a term the local press gave to A.D.A.s who routinely prosecuted special-circumstance cases. “You‘ll have to ask District Attorney Dorlan, Mack.”
“What about a political career, Marni?”
She almost laughed. These guys were amazing. One high-profile case and the media had her running for public office. She recognized the reporter from one of the local news shows. “No comment.”
April Burnell stepped to the front of the crowd and thrust a microphone in front of her. “How does it feel, Ms. Rodgers?”
Marni had dealt with April before and didn‘t particularly like her style. The woman had the tact of a bulldozer. “How does what feel, Ms. Burnell?” Marni asked, unable to keep the sarcasm out of her voice.
“To be responsible for sending James Kendell to his death?”
Marni took a deep breath before answering. “The penalty phase of the trial doesn‘t start for another two weeks.”
“But aren‘t you seeking the death penalty?”
“I‘m doing my job, Ms. Burnell. The job you, a taxpayer, are paying me to perform. Tell me, how do you feel when you do your job well?” Marni shouldered her way past April and reached for the door.
The family of one of the victims came into the hallway, and the surge of reporters changed course, heading toward their new target like vultures intent on the remains of a two-day-old carcass. Relieved, Marni veered away from the throng and headed toward the elevators. Her escape went unnoticed.
The elevator doors opened on the ground floor and Marni headed toward the exit. She pushed through the glass doors of the courthouse into the bright, unseasonably warm January sunshine, her steps hurried. As she neared the concrete steps, she glanced at her watch. Jenna, her twelve-year-old daughter, would be home from school in a few minutes. Marni couldn‘t wait to tell her the case was finally over. She smiled for the second time since hearing the jury had finally reached a verdict, a decision that had taken three weeks.
Marni stepped forward and bumped into what she immediately thought of as a brick wall in an Armani suit. Her attaché slipped from her fingers and the faulty latch clicked open. Papers tumbled out and skittered to the ground.
“I‘m sorry,” she said, bending to pick up the papers before they scattered away in the light breeze. “I wasn‘t paying attention.”
The brick wall didn‘t say anything, but bent over to help. After the mess had been picked up, he extended his hand to give her the forms.
Marni shoved them back into the briefcase. The scent of his cologne reached her nostrils. Polo. She inhaled deeply, then lifted her gaze to get a look at the guy who smelled so good. Her mouth fell open in shock.
Cole Ballinger.
Her Cole.
Jenna‘s father. Oh, God!
Recognition and then surprise flickered in his polished jade eyes. His lips curved into a disarming smile. “Marni. It‘s been a long time.” His voice was velvet-edged and strong.
Marni didn‘t know what to say. Yes, it had been a long time. Thirteen years, and if he wanted to get technical about the whole thing, she‘d give him weeks and days, too. Oh, yes, a long time indeed since she‘d accepted Cole‘s father‘s offer and left Elk Falls. Too long, since Cole had married someone else while Marni carried his child. A child he knew nothing about.
Time had been good to him. His neatly trimmed sable hair had no signs of gray. More devastatingly handsome than she remembered, he showed new strength and maturity. But, she reminded herself, he‘d only been twenty then, tall and gangly. He‘d filled out quite nicely if the way his broad shoulders fit the Armani suit was any indication.
His name echoed through her mind. “Cole,” she whispered as he took her elbow and helped her to her feet. In an instant, Marni was eighteen again. Memories of the summer they‘d shared in Kansas before she left for California assaulted her suddenly fragile composure.
“What brings you to Los Angeles?” She struggled to maintain an even, conciliatory tone. Dear God, he hadn‘t found out about Jenna, had he?
An odd expression crossed Cole‘s features, one Marni couldn‘t define. “Ballinger Electronics is being sued,” he told her.
A slight surge of relief shot through her. She nodded, unsure what to say to him. A thrum of tension filled the air. Her composure slipped again under his watchful eyes, and she shifted her feet. “Are you in town long?” she asked tensely.
An older gentleman stepped forward to stand next to Cole and glanced pointedly at his watch.
“Gordon Bentley, this is Marni Rodgers. We‘re old friends,” Cole said casually. Too casually.
We were more than old friends, she wanted to say, but kept silent. No sense dredging up the past. No good would come of it.
“Gordon‘s my attorney,” he told her.
Marni extended her hand to the lawyer. “Pleased to meet you.” She hoped neither of them noticed the shakiness of her voice.
She welcomed the man‘s intrusion and shook his hand, thankful for the reprieve. Cole had left a burning imprint on her soul and one look at him, one simple touch, was enough to scorch her still. How could he be so dangerous to her sanity and her heart after all these years? He‘s not, she told herself. It‘s only the shock of seeing him again.
Gordon interrupted her thoughts. “I‘ll meet you inside, Cole. Miss Rodgers, it was a pleasure.” Marni nodded and watched him disappear into the courthouse. She hadn‘t even noticed the man‘s initial approach. But Cole had always had that affect on her. His nearness could cause her to forget the world existed. But not any longer. Not after the way he‘d hurt her when he married Elizabeth Wakefield. Regardless of Marni‘s bargain with the devil, she knew she‘d been young and foolish and wrong. Horribly wrong. Thirteen years of loneliness had taught her just how mistaken she‘d been in accepting Carson Ballinger‘s offer.
“I should be going.” Her senses were under siege. She had to get away from him. He‘d given her a shock and she needed time to recover.
Cole glanced at his watch. She couldn‘t help noticing how large his hands were. Manicured, yet strong. “Look, I‘ve got to get inside. Would you meet me for a drink later?”
Marni forced herself to settle down. The blood pounding in her ears deafened her. “It‘s not a good idea.”
“One drink, Marni. Surely you can fit an old friend into your busy schedule?” He studied her with an intensity she found unnerving.
“Cole, really, I–” Her thoughts trailed off when he gave her that lopsided grin she‘d always loved so much. The light winter breeze ruffled his dark hair, and for a split instant they were kids again. Young, innocent and free of Carson‘s influence.
“One drink.” He was obviously determined. Cole could be relentless when he set his mind on something.
“I‘m sorry.” Marni moved to step around him, anxious to be away before she gave in to him.
“Marni.” He sounded almost desperate. When he laid a hand on her arm to prevent her escape, a twinge of excitement raced through her. What was wrong with her? She hadn‘t seen Cole in years. It was ridiculous to react this way.
Marni chewed her lower lip. If she had that drink, maybe she could find out what he knew about Jenna, if anything. Besides, what harm could one drink with Cole Ballinger do? She was a grown woman, not a kid with stars in her eyes and dreams of happily ever after. The Ballinger wealth couldn‘t hurt her anymore. Cole was no longer a part of her life. Seriously doubting her powers of reason, she agreed. “Okay. One drink. Muldoon‘s at five-thirty. It‘s on the corner of Sixth and Spring.”
Before she could change her mind, she pulled away from him and ran down the concrete steps of the courthouse. She didn‘t stop until she reached her car. Unlocking the door, she slipped in behind the wheel of the Honda Prelude and tossed her attaché on the passenger seat. The lock unhitched and Marni glared at the old briefcase. “I‘m buying a new one. Tomorrow.”
* * *
WITH COLE OCCUPYING her thoughts, Marni drove across town to her office. He hadn‘t told her how long he‘d be in town. Was he only here as a witness or would he be attending the trial on a daily basis? She‘d have to find out which judge was hearing his case. Marni had always made a point of having a good rapport with all the judges’ clerks, and now it was about to pay off. She could easily ask for the estimated length of the trial without raising suspicion. With as much time as she spent at the courts, she supposed running into Cole would be inevitable, but the thought of seeing him on a daily basis was almost more than she could bear.
She guided the car into her assigned parking slot and killed the engine. Leaning back in the seat, she closed her eyes and rubbed the throbbing ache in her temples. Why had she agreed to meet him for a drink? Stupid, Marni. Real stupid. She‘d have to call Jenna and let her know she‘d be late.
The thought of Jenna got her moving. She collected her things, making certain the latch to her briefcase was secured.
A group of attorneys and secretaries stood waiting in the lobby when she entered the dingy county offices. A resounding cheer went up when she closed the door behind her. Marni couldn‘t help but laugh. She‘d worked hard to win the Kendell case, and now, because of her, one less killer roamed the streets of Los Angeles. And no matter how corny that sounded, the thrill of prosecuting such an important case was heady. Still, she‘d better keep her feet on the ground. There were other dangers in her life now.
Her secretary, Peg, stood to the side of the group, holding a dozen latex helium balloons secured with colorful curly ribbons. Someone popped open a bottle of champagne and shoved a glass in her hand. Before Marni realized it, she was regaling her colleagues with the finer points of the murder trial.
Her boss, Walter Dorlan, approached. “You‘re the lead story on tonight‘s news.”
Marni smiled. “Mack Henley wants to know if I‘m being assigned to death row.”
Walter may have been an active prosecutor at one time, but now politics were his mainstay. His term as D.A. would be over in another year, and rumors were already circulating that he was seeking the governor‘s office. Walter grinned, his pale blue eyes twinkling. “Sure, if the butterflies you get waiting for the juries to come in don‘t kill you first.”
Marni‘s teasing tone evaporated. “Walter, are you serious?”
The D.A. took a sip of champagne, then nodded. “I‘ve been thinking about it. No one‘s taken over on a permanent basis since Jackson left. You could handle the responsibility for a while.”
“I don‘t know what to say.” And she didn‘t. Despite her euphoria over winning the case, did she really want to send people to their deaths, no matter what she‘d told April Burnell? She pushed the unwanted thought aside.
“Don‘t say anything, Marni. Just do your job.”
“Rodgers!” someone called. “Telephone.”
Marni excused herself from Walter and the group. They didn‘t need her to continue the celebration. Drinking and raising hell were two things attorneys did extremely well.
Marni took the call in her office. She plopped down in the squeaky leather chair and cradled the receiver between her ear and shoulder. “Marni Rodgers,” she said absently as she looked at the stack of mail on her desk. Her secretary sorted her mail into separate folders according to importance. Even junk mail had its own file.
“Mom?”
“Jenna. Hi, sweetie. What‘s up?” Marni opened the folder for junk mail and emptied the contents in the trash bin under her desk.
“I saw you on the news!” Jenna‘s exuberance vibrated through the telephone.
Marni could picture Jenna standing in their cozy kitchen, her jade green eyes sparkling with excitement. Her thick, waist-length sable hair, so like her father‘s, would be pulled back into a ponytail. Marni would kill for hair like Jenna‘s. Her own blond hair hung in unruly curls just past her shoulders. She usually kept it pulled away from her face in a tight French braid.
“Everyone‘s gonna be talking about you tomorrow. My mother the celebrity. I‘ll be famous.”
Marni laughed. “No, Jenna, I‘m not a celebrity and I doubt you‘ll be famous just because I was on the five o‘clock news.”
“Well, Denise Lambert already called and her mom said you‘re a famous lawyer now.”
Marni rolled her eyes and looked at her watch. She was supposed to meet Cole in fifteen minutes. “I‘m gonna be a little late. I have a...meeting. Still ready for pizza?”
Jenna‘s laughter made Marni smile. “Pizza? Mom, you deserve a night on the town for what you did today. Do you have a date?”
Marni opened the folder entitled For Your Signature and ignored the hopeful note in Jenna‘s voice. “No, I don‘t have a date.”
“You need a man, Mom.”
Marni couldn‘t believe her ears. “Jenna!”
“Denise‘s mom thinks you do. She says you work too hard and if you don‘t get out more, you‘ll–”
“Jenna, that‘s enough.”
Jenna sighed heavily, her exasperation registering clearly.
“You wanna order in or go out for pizza?” asked Marni, anxious to steer the topic away from her lack of male companionship. She‘d had offers, plenty of them, but the truth was, she just wasn‘t interested. She‘d convinced herself her career and Jenna were all that mattered. Especially since she had paid such a high price for both.
Marni could practically feel her daughter‘s shrug. “Doesn‘t matter.”
“Why don‘t we decide when I get home? Around seven, okay?” She signed her name to a letter without proofreading it. She didn‘t need to; Peg‘s efficiency spoke for itself.
“Sure, Mom. Oh, the phone‘s beeping, I‘ve got another call coming in. It‘s probably Denise again.”
“Sweetie?” Marni said before her daughter could hang up on her. “I love you.”
“Yeah, me, too, Mom. I‘ll see ya tonight.”
An indefinable fear settled over Marni. If she told Jenna her father was in town, she would insist on seeing him. When Jenna had asked the identity of her father, Marni had told her daughter as much as her young mind could understand at the time. She had been careful not to color her daughter‘s feelings in any way.
What had happened between Cole and Marni had been special, at least on her part. How she‘d loved Cole, and she‘d thought he‘d returned that love. But Marni hadn‘t been gone two months when Cole married Elizabeth Wakefield, a woman of his own social class. Even though Marni had ended their relationship without explanation, she still experienced an unreasonable stab of jealousy every time she thought of Cole with Elizabeth.
Marni replaced the receiver, finished signing the rest of the correspondence, then put the remaining folders in her briefcase. “I‘m really gonna get a new one tomorrow,” she promised herself.
She flicked off the light and closed the door to her office, then dropped the folder with the signed correspondence on Peg‘s desk. She picked up her messages, stuffed them into her jacket pocket and headed toward the door. The crowd had thinned somewhat, and Marni escaped without too much trouble.
Entering the parking garage with her keys in hand, Marni headed for her car. She opened the door and slipped inside.
Muldoon‘s.
Cole.
The drive would take her about twenty minutes in downtown traffic. Glancing at her watch, Marni realized she was already late. Maybe if she was lucky, he‘d have already left and she‘d never have to see him again. She tossed the briefcase onto the passenger seat, and the latch flipped open again. The old leather case had been a gift from her mother, and if she hadn‘t been so attached to it, she never would have run into Cole.
Marni sighed, glaring at the briefcase. She had an uneasy feeling that fate had just intervened.
* * *
FATE HAD DEFINITELY smiled on Cole Ballinger today. He arrived at Muldoon‘s thirty minutes before he was supposed to meet Marni and secured a table in the back of the downtown pub. Happy hour would be in full swing before long, and he wanted to ensure they had a relatively quiet place to talk.
The day he arrived in Los Angeles, he‘d seen Marni on the nightly news. He couldn‘t believe his eyes. Marni–his Marni–was prosecuting an extremely high-profile serial killer. He‘d immediately gotten the number to the D.A.‘s office from the information operator. But every time he picked up the phone to call he replaced the receiver before he could punch in her number. Too much time had passed. After all these years, she certainly had to have a life of her own–a point she‘d made perfectly clear when she‘d told him she never wanted to see him again. No explanation, no justification. Simply goodbye. The next day she‘d been gone, almost as if she‘d never existed in the first place.
She was even more beautiful than he remembered. She‘d matured, naturally, and although the image she projected in her navy blue suit spoke of a fashionable professional, her conservative attire could not completely hide her sensuality. Yet cool was the word that came to Cole‘s mind when he thought about her. She had a don‘t-touch-me look, and he wondered why. Had someone hurt her? What had happened to change the soft, warm young woman he‘d loved? Hell, he still wanted to know why she‘d left him. He‘d played their parting scene over and over in his mind and still couldn‘t come up with a plausible reason for her actions.
Cole ordered a light beer and nursed it while he waited. He couldn‘t help wondering if she would show up or not. She‘d been anxious to get away from him. He thought he‘d seen fear in her eyes, and again he questioned her reasons. Why would she fear him? Cole decided there was only one way to find out.
Nearly an hour later, he spotted her at the front entrance. He stood, impatient for her to see him. He waved, caught her attention and watched her cross the crowded pub with the natural grace of a dancer. There was an easy confidence about her Cole didn‘t remember from their youth. In the dim light of the bar, she appeared ethereal. He caught himself wishing she‘d worn her hair down, bouncing around her face. Did it still shimmer like a wheat field swaying in a gentle breeze? Her delicate features hinted at a patrician background. No one would suspect she was a fatherless girl from a rundown trailer park on the wrong side of town.
“You‘re late,” he told her tersely, hiding his relief that she‘d really come.
She cast him a quick, nervous glance, nodded, then scooted into the booth. The skirt of her navy blue suit hitched up, showing him a goodly portion of her legs. Cole admired the long shapely limbs for a moment before signaling for the waitress. Sliding into the booth opposite her, he asked, “What‘ll you have?”
She kept her gaze averted from his, and he wondered if she was truly afraid, after all. The notion was ridiculous.
“Whatever you‘re having is fine.”
“Beer?” When she nodded, he chuckled. “A woman after my own heart.” The waitress glanced his way and Cole motioned for two beers.
“I heard your name on the radio while driving here. Congratulations.” Pride had surged through him when the newscaster reported the conviction of James Kendell and the part Marni played in bringing him to justice.
She shrugged her slim shoulders as if the event was a common occurrence. “I‘m sure I‘m on the six o‘clock news right now, too.” Her voice held a detachment he found unnerving. She used to look at him with such adoration and he silently berated himself for wanting to see that look in her eyes again. Marni had always been bubbly, a happy-go-lucky type. Time had changed her, hardened her. He wondered if it was because of her job.
Cole dropped a bill on the table when the waitress delivered two bottles of beer and a bowl of warmed peanuts, along with a glass for Marni. “Did you get a conviction on all the charges against this guy?” He hoped to bring her out of wherever she was hiding. Maybe talking about her victory today would do the trick.
She glanced his way. Her eyes darted back and forth, refusing to hold his gaze for longer than a second or two. “I was able to get him for the kidnapping and murder for five of the six victims.”
Cole leaned back into the dark green Naugahyde. “Why only five?”
She looked at him and he saw the intelligence in her eyes. The coffee-colored orbs were sharp and assessing, as if she sized up everything and everyone within seconds. A habit, he assumed, she‘d developed since becoming an attorney.
“The fourth victim may have been a copycat and we had no hard evidence.” She absently fingered the bowl of peanuts. “I should still be able to convince the jury to go for the death penalty.”
“Good. Kendell is a real scumbag.” Taking a sip of beer, he watched her transformation. Within minutes, she was talking animatedly, gesturing to make her points. Still, a detachment in her demeanor irritated him. He‘d seen that look before, the day she told him to get lost.
She laughed lightly at one of his remarks. Cole liked the soft, melodious tones drifting over him.
“Doesn‘t it get to you, though?” he asked, becoming serious again. “You see the very worst side of humanity every day.” He didn‘t care if they were discussing the exchange rate in China–at least she was talking to him.
She sighed. “You get used to it.” Marni took a sip of beer, then glanced away. She stared at the cheap, framed print behind him as if it were the most fascinating work of art she‘d ever seen. “So, are you in town long?”
“I moved here about six months ago,” he answered lazily, and waited for her reaction.
She looked back at him abruptly. “Why?”
Cole frowned at the alarm in her gaze. The yellow flecks in her eyes turned to gold, signaling the intensity of her reaction. “I‘ve taken over the software division of Ballinger Electronics.”
She took a deep breath as if to calm herself. “Oh. I read about the lawsuit. You‘re being sued for copyright infringement, aren‘t you?”
Cole nodded, disappointed she preferred to keep their conversation on an impersonal level. “An overzealous employee duplicated a program and sold it as ours.”
Marni‘s brow creased. “Why don‘t you just settle?”
Cole lifted the beer bottle in his hand and took a quick drink before answering. “We‘ve tried, but the guy who developed the program wants blood.”
A hint of a smile touched her lips. “You‘re fighting a losing battle, Cole. Juries don‘t take too kindly to the big guys stealing from the little guys.”
“We haven‘t gone to trial. We only arbitrated today,” he told her. “I didn‘t ask you here to talk law, Marni. How have you been?”
The smile disappeared, and Cole could almost see the protective barrier she drew around herself again. “Fine. I‘ve got a good job, a nice little house by the beach. I couldn‘t be happier.”
That wasn‘t what he wanted to know. “Married?”
“No.” She answered too quickly, as if the subject was off limits. Cole let it drop, for the time being.
He brought the conversation back to business. When she talked about her work, she didn‘t seem so damned nervous. “You been with the D.A.‘s office long?”
“Six years.” She lifted the glass of beer to her mouth.
Cole watched with interest as her lips settled on the rim. The first stirring of desire pulsed through him, settling in his belly. He attempted to douse the provocative thoughts with another shot of beer and failed.
Marni regarded Cole carefully. He‘d acquired a polished veneer over the years. Even from across the table he looked powerful. And the man had a definite monopoly on virility, whether he realized it or not. Cole was pure male, and he affected her more than she cared to admit.
An uncomfortable silence stretched between them, and Marni didn‘t know how to break it. She was a successful lawyer, fast on her feet and able to shift tactics without missing a beat. Speaking to juries and judges nearly every day, she‘d rarely been at a loss for words, but she stared mutely as Cole lifted his beer bottle to his lips. She averted her eyes and concentrated on the beer label, willing the memories of Cole to go away. Absently she fingered the label and began to peel it off the amber bottle.
“How‘s your mother?” he asked her.
She sighed. “We–I lost my mother a few years ago.”
Cole caught her slip and could only wonder about it. Who was us? She‘d said she wasn‘t married. Could it be an ex-husband?
“What about your family?” she returned politely.
Cole shrugged. “My sister married Don Turner and claims to be miserable because he works all the time. Daily shopping consoles her. She has two great kids, though.”
A small smile touched her lips. “Janelle has kids?”
“I know. Janelle hated kids until she had her own. Two adorable little girls.”
“And your parents?”
Cole noticed the barely laced sarcasm in her voice. “Mom and Dad will never change. Dad‘s talking about retirement now, and Mom complains about the lack of male grandchildren to carry on the Ballinger name.” He saw an odd light flicker briefly in Marni‘s eyes before she glanced at her watch, and he wondered if she had a date. A surge of jealousy he didn‘t understand vibrated through him. He spoke without thinking. “I‘ve missed you, Marni.”
“How‘s your wife, Cole?” Her voice was hard, cold.
He creased his brow in surprise. “How did you know about Elizabeth?”
The hardness in her voice was reflected in her eyes. “Your father told me. I wasn‘t gone more than two months before you were on your honeymoon.”
His irritation returned at her accusatory tone. “Hey, you dumped me, remember? Besides, Elizabeth was a mistake.”
Her short bark of laughter held no humor. “Was it?”
“Marni, it‘s a long story–”
“And I‘m sorry, but I don‘t have time to listen to it now. I have to be somewhere.” The coldness of her voice clawed at his heart with icy fingers.
Marni attempted to slide from the booth, but Cole reached out to stop her. His hand settled over hers. Her soft, smooth skin evoked memories of the night they‘d made love by the lake. Candlelight from the glass globe on the table flickered, and for a moment Cole thought of Marni‘s skin shimmering in the moonlit night. His eyes held hers. “Don‘t go, Marni.”
“I have to.” She spoke calmly, without emotion, but the heat burning in her eyes told him she was just as affected as he was by the simple touch.
“Elizabeth tricked me into marriage,” he said, unsure why he felt compelled to explain. He owed her nothing. “She said she was pregnant and then conveniently ‘lost’ the baby a few weeks after the wedding.”
“Elizabeth was pregnant?” Her voice was a choked whisper. “You slept with her while we were together?”
Cole watched as the blood drained from her face. Pain, fierce and tangible, flared in her gaze. A heaviness settled in his chest when she looked away.
“No,” he said. “Not then.” Guilt he didn‘t understand washed over him. He‘d gotten drunk in an attempt to drown his anger when Marni had broken up with him with no explanation. “Why did you give me the brush-off?” he asked, turning the tables.
“How is Elizabeth?” she countered.
Cole didn‘t miss the censure in her voice, or the fact that once again she‘d evaded his question. “Elizabeth and I divorced more than ten years ago. Last I heard, she was living in Europe.”
She lifted her gaze to his, anguish evident in her deep brown eyes. He wished he was privy to her thoughts. God only knew what went on in Marni Rodgers‘s mind.
“I have to go,” she said hastily. “I have an early day in court tomorrow.”
“How about dinner? You need to eat.” Cole was reluctant to let her get away from him. He told himself it was because he wanted the past resolved, not because he wanted to delay her departure.
“I‘m not hungry,” she said. She truly doubted she‘d be able to eat a thing after the blow Cole had just dealt her. He‘d married Elizabeth because she said she was pregnant. Marni ached with the same inner pain she‘d experienced when she‘d first learned he‘d married Elizabeth. When had Cole made love to Elizabeth? How long had she been in California before he turned to someone else? A week? Ten days? Not much longer if he‘d married Elizabeth within two months of her departure from Kansas.
“Come on, Marni. I haven‘t seen you in nearly thirteen years and you can‘t even spare a few hours to have dinner with me?” His voice was soft and coaxing. Reaching across the table, he covered her small hand with his large one.
Marni pulled her hand free. “It won‘t work, Cole.”
“I‘m not asking you for a lifetime, Marni. Only dinner.”
“I can‘t,” she said firmly. Why couldn‘t he just leave her alone?
He threw up his hands. “Okay, okay, don‘t get upset.”
Marni‘s sigh of relief was short-lived.
“I‘d like to see you again.” He spoke with a huskiness that unnerved her.
“Dammit, Cole,” she snapped in irritation. “I can‘t see you. It‘s out of the question.”
“Why?”
Marni looked at his face. His gentle eyes belied the demand of his tone. “Can‘t you just accept it? I don‘t want to see you.” Her voice shook with emotion. “I thought we had this conversation thirteen years ago.”
“We did, but you‘re still lying,” he stated matter-of-factly.
With a confidence she didn‘t feel, she rejected his words as nonsense. She was over Cole. He meant nothing to her any longer.
Liar! her inner voice shouted.
“I have to go,” she said again, scooting out from behind the table.
Cole frowned at her and slid out of his seat. “I‘ll walk you to your car,” he said, dropping a couple of bills on the table. When they reached the entrance of the restaurant, he moved in front of her and held the door. She cast a quick glance at him, but his face was somber and she couldn‘t tell what he was thinking.
“Where are you parked?”
“In the back. The white Prelude.” They walked together in silence in the crisp evening air.
“There.” She pointed when the sleek car came into view.
Marni retrieved her keys from her purse and disengaged the car alarm. A high-toned bleep pierced the silence between them.
“How about dinner tomorrow?” he asked.
Marni sighed heavily. “No.” She could just see Cole pulling up in front of her beach house and Jenna bounding down the steps to greet him. Pain twisted Marni‘s heart as she fantasized about father and daughter together as they should have been. Images of Jenna in a high chair at eighteen months, her green eyes and sable hair so like Cole‘s, while a battle of wills ensued over a jar of strained carrots. Cole teaching Jenna how to ride a bicycle or helping Jenna understand the theory behind multiplication tables. Dreams, only dreams, of a life not meant to be. Memories Marni and Jenna had been cheated of because of her self-doubt and her concern about her mother‘s failing health. Carson Ballinger had played on her insecurities and financial problems expertly, finally convincing Marni he was right. She wasn‘t good enough for Cole.
“You‘re not married, right?” Cole asked her again, his voice pulling her back to the present. Back to the harsh reality of the truth.
“No, Cole. I‘m not married.”
“Involved with someone?”
For an instant, Marni thought about lying to him. “No.”
“Then have dinner with me.” The look he gave her told her he wasn‘t going to give up until he got his way.
“I can‘t,” she repeated emphatically.
He opened the car door for her. “I‘ll pick you up at your office at five tomorrow.”
“Please don‘t do this to me, Cole,” Marni whispered.
“Not unless you give me a good reason why not.”
Marni could give him not one, but two, great reasons–his father and Jenna–she thought bitterly.
“I‘m waiting.” Cole‘s voice was husky, the expression in his eyes unreadable.
He radiated a vitality that still drew her, and if she wasn‘t careful, she could easily get caught up in his potent sexual magnetism again. She was already fighting the tingling in the pit of her stomach. “Then you‘ll have a long wait,” she said, determined not to give in to her physical reaction to Cole. She looked at him then, wishing she could call the words back. Faint lines of pain were etched around his eyes. She recalled that look from the balmy summer night when she‘d ended their relationship.
Tell me why, Marni. You aren‘t making any sense. I‘m waiting.
Then you‘ll have a long wait.
“I have to go,” she said, choked with emotion. She slipped behind the wheel before she made a complete fool of herself. Cole‘s hand on the car door prevented her from closing it.
“I‘ll call you tomorrow,” he said, a hard glint of determination in his eyes.
Marni shook her head in exasperation. “Why, Cole? Why is this so damned important to you? I wasn‘t so important thirteen years ago when you married Elizabeth Wakefield, was I?” She didn‘t care if she sounded jealous, or even that she had no right to be angry with him.
“You were the one who walked out, remember?” The harsh tone of his voice made her wince all the same.
Marni yanked the door out of his grasp and slammed it shut. Slipping the key into the ignition, she gunned the car to life. She promptly found Reverse and pulled out of the parking slot.
The car easily slipped into first gear, and Marni stepped on the gas. When she reached the driveway, she glanced in the rearview mirror and searched for Cole. The darkness prevented her from seeing his expression, but she had a pretty good idea he wasn‘t too happy at the moment. The Cole Ballinger she knew wasn‘t accustomed to being turned down and she seriously doubted he‘d changed over the years.
CHAPTER TWO
“J ENNA!” MARNI CALLED from the kitchen. “We‘re going to be late.”
After rinsing her coffee cup, she pulled back the white lace curtains over the sink. She cracked open the window, allowing the early morning sea breeze to waft into the cozy blue-and-white kitchen, and thought about Cole.
The shock of seeing him, talking to him, touching him, brought back every precious memory she‘d kept close to her heart over the years. Unfortunately, pain followed close behind. Marni wondered if Cole had really loved her as he‘d claimed. How could he have when he turned to Elizabeth so quickly? Carson predicted Cole would tire of her sooner or later. Seemed that Carson had been right.
A part of her, a very selfish part, wanted to see Cole again. Regardless of how foolish the idea, she knew to allow him into her life again would only be a mistake. A disastrous one. How long would it be before he learned the truth?
“Mom!”
Marni turned to see Jenna standing in the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest, impatience evident in her sea green eyes. “What were you thinking about?”
Marni mentally shook herself. “Nothing in particular.”
“I called you a dozen times and you just kept staring out the window.”
Marni gave a nervous laugh. “A dozen, indeed. Are you ready?”
“I have to get my books.” Jenna turned to leave, then stopped. “Oh. You left these in the dining room.” She held the message slips Marni had stuffed into her pocket on her way out of the office last night, and laid them on the white tiled countertop before scampering off.
Marni read the messages. One was from the public defender on the Kendell case, two others were from defense attorneys on minor offenses she was handling, and there was one from Cole. Her hand shook. The message was only a reminder to meet him at Muldoon‘s. He must have called her office right after they ran into each other on the courthouse steps. Marni crumpled the pink slip and tossed it into the trash bin under the sink. What if Jenna had seen the message? She was not a dull-witted child; she knew her father‘s name. What were the chances of another Cole Ballinger calling? She resolved to be more attentive in the future.
After dropping Jenna off at the junior high school, Marni drove straight to the courthouse. Fridays were devoted to felony arraignments. When she entered the courtroom, the prisoners had already been led into the jury box. Marni perused the prisoners as she took her seat at the prosecutor‘s table. Three men and one woman in chains. The remainder were more than likely arrested on drug offenses.
Marni glanced at the defense table to see who she‘d be opposing. She saw a couple of young public defenders and sized them up quickly. They‘d provide no problem. She recognized a few criminal attorneys and her friend and former classmate, Rebecca Parks, a family law attorney. Probably representing a deadbeat dad, she surmised.
The bailiff directed the court to order. After the judge was seated, he called the first case. The chained woman glared hard at Marni and stood.
Marni quickly located and scanned the file. She stood to address Judge Bickerman. “The state requests the defendant be held over for a bail hearing, Your Honor.”
Rebecca stepped forward, her rich, straight black hair pulled away from her face in a tight knot at her nape. Sharp blue eyes assessed Marni, their friendship forgotten for the moment. “The defendant has no record of any prior convictions.”
“None in this state,” Marni said before turning her attention back to the bench. “Your Honor, we‘ve just received word from Tulsa, Oklahoma, of an outstanding bench warrant. The defendant has a history of failing to appear.”
The judge, a hulk of a man with a thick patch of gray hair, shuffled through the paperwork in front of him. “I see no record of this in the court‘s file, Ms. Rodgers.”
Marni held up a piece of paper.
“Hand it to the bailiff,” the judge instructed, an inflection of boredom in his tone.
Rebecca sent Marni a baleful glare. “I request a copy, Your Honor.”
The judge reviewed the arrest warrant, ignoring the request. “A hearing to establish bail will be heard Monday at two o‘clock.” He stared hard at Rebecca. “Do you have any further objections, Ms. Parks?”
Rebecca lowered her eyes. “None, Your Honor.”
Marni cringed inwardly at the judge‘s harsh tone. Poor Rebecca. She didn‘t deserve such treatment, but Judge Bickerman obviously hadn‘t forgotten Rebecca had represented Mrs. Bickerman in their divorce three years ago.
When the last prisoner was led from the courtroom, Marni gathered the armload of files together, then turned toward the low swinging door separating the attorneys from the audience. Rebecca Parks held the door for her.
“I‘ll see you get a copy of the bench warrant.” Marni smiled at her friend. “What are you doing here today?”
“The firm‘s criminal attorney is on vacation.” Rebecca grimaced. “Free for lunch?” Their earlier courtroom demeanor dissolved as they slipped into a familiar and easy friendship.
They walked side by side out of the courtroom. Marni looked up and down the corridor. She half expected to see Cole, but she was relieved to find he wasn‘t there. He continued to occupy her thoughts; she knew he wouldn‘t let up until he got his way. “I‘d love to, but I haven‘t even been to the office yet,” she explained. “How‘s next week?”
Rebecca shifted the bulk of files in her arms and pressed the button for the elevator. “Hectic. I‘m stuck with criminal arraignments on top of my regular caseload. How about dinner next week? You and Jenna can come over and I‘ll cook.”
“Actually, I do need to see you,” she said turning serious.
“Sure. Problem?”
Marni shook her head. “Not yet. I just need some legal advice.” She glanced above at the bank of elevators and watched the flashing lights behind the floor numbers, ignoring Rebecca‘s questioning blue eyes.
A low-toned ping signaled the arrival of the elevator car. The center door slid open and Marni gasped. Cole stepped out dressed in khaki slacks and a navy blazer. The whiteness of his shirt emphasized his golden tan and the color of his eyes. A blue paisley tie completed the picture of a well-dressed man.
Recovering quickly from her shock, she stiffened both her spine and her resolve not to let him into her life again, no matter how much he affected her. “What are you doing here?” she asked. Her tone was harsher than she‘d intended, if the perplexed expression on Rebecca‘s classically beautiful face was any indication.
Cole graced her with one of his disarming smiles, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I came to take you to lunch.”
Marni sighed. “Cole, I can‘t.”
“Are we going to have that old argument again?” He turned his attention to Rebecca. “She needs to eat, right?”
Rebecca eyed Cole appreciatively. “Absolutely. Now I understand why you turned me down.”
The silky purr of Rebecca‘s voice made Marni bristle. No one could claim her friend wasn‘t a smart woman, but at this moment, she was simply a woman who appreciated a handsome man. And that man was Cole Ballinger.
“I didn‘t know he was–” Marni began as Rebecca stepped through the open doors of the elevator.
“Don‘t worry about it.” Rebecca gave a deep, throaty chuckle. “I‘ll talk to you later,” she called as the door slid closed.
Marni was left alone with Cole.
He reached for the files in her arm. “Can I take those?”
“No.” Marni pushed the button to signal for another car. “I have to get to the office.” She kept her eyes on the lights above the elevators. “I have a busy day.”
The smile on his face disappeared, only to be replaced by a tensing of his jaw. “There are a few questions I want answered.”
Now, what was that supposed to mean? Fear gripped her, but she shook the sensation away. “Cole, please. Leave me alone.” She concentrated on the indicators. Two more floors and she‘d be free of Cole.
“Why?” he demanded.
“I have a lot to do this afternoon.” If I don‘t look at him, he‘ll go away.
“You can‘t be all that busy.”
Marni‘s shoulders sagged. So much for mind over matter. “I am. Now, please, just go away. It‘s been great seeing you, but really, I just don‘t have the time.”
When the elevator finally arrived, Marni stepped inside, trying desperately to ignore him. She punched the button for the garage and prayed the door would close before Cole could step through the portal.
Her guardian angel must have been on a coffee break, because Cole sauntered into the lift and stood close beside her. Her shoulder rested against his upper arm in the crowded car. Marni could feel the muscles bunch beneath the fabric of his blazer. His cologne mingled with his masculine scent, tickling her senses. God, he smelled good. Marni‘s pulse quickened as she cast him a sideways glance. He smiled down at her, but the look in his eyes said something she wasn‘t ready to analyze.
The doors opened on the third floor, and a few people pushed their way forward. Cole rested his hands on her shoulders in a possessive gesture and stepped behind her. His fingers lightly brushed the side of her neck, and Marni closed her eyes against her increased awareness of him.
The doors closed and Cole released her, moving again to her side. She could sense his eyes on her but willed herself not to look in his direction. She had to find a way to escape him. She couldn‘t have Cole following her to her office. She rarely dated, and if Cole came waltzing into the D.A.‘s office, surely people would talk. Lawyers were the worst when it came to gossip. Maybe if she had lunch with him he‘d be satisfied and not bother her again. Besides, he‘d tracked her down to the courthouse, he could just as easily discover where she worked–or lived. Then he‘d be sure to find out about Jenna, and Marni refused to even think about the possible ramifications.
They reached the garage and Marni stepped out of the elevator, Cole on her heels. “All right. I‘ll have lunch with you, but I have to be back in the office this afternoon.”
Cole said nothing but followed her to her car. She opened the trunk to place the files and briefcase inside. Alarm sparked through her. A box full of clothes Jenna had outgrown sat in the center of the trunk. Marni had planned to drop them off at the Salvation Army but hadn‘t gotten around to it. She struggled to fight back rising hysteria. Practically throwing the files in the trunk, she bent to pick up the briefcase, but Cole held it in his hands. Before she could stop him, he set the case in the trunk. He‘d barely moved out of harm‘s way when she slammed the lid closed, praying he hadn‘t seen the contents of the open box.
“Where do you want to eat?” She spoke quickly, hoping Cole wouldn‘t detect her nervousness.
“I‘ll drive,” he told her. He placed his hand on the small of her back and steered her away from her car before she could argue.
Seated within the confines of Cole‘s sleek black Jaguar, Marni was surrounded by the scent of new leather. She concentrated on the country song flowing through the elaborate sound system. At least they still had the same taste in music, she mused, wondering when Cole had stopped listening to the heavier rock music of their younger days.
“Where are we going?” she asked, noting they were leaving the downtown area.
“A little place I found. I think you‘ll like it,” he told her while he guided the Jag onto the freeway on ramp.
About twenty minutes later, Cole pulled into a hamburger stand. Waitresses dressed in short spandex skirts and T-shirts a size too small roller-skated around the cars. Cole pulled into one of the parking slots, killed the engine and rolled down the window.
“This is it?” Marni asked incredulously, unfastening her seat belt. She wasn‘t certain what she‘d expected. A dark restaurant, maybe. Candlelight, perhaps. Certainly not a drive-in with carhops.
Cole shrugged, his expression noncommittal. “I thought you‘d like it.” He unfastened his own safety belt, then turned the key in the ignition so they could listen to the stereo as they ate.
A perky brunette skated up to the driver‘s side. “What‘ll ya have?”
“Two cheeseburgers, two fries and two root beer floats,” he said, and looked at Marni for approval.
She nodded slowly as realization struck her. The first time Cole had taken her out they‘d gone to the local drive-in restaurant in Elk Falls. Now, in his attempt to re-create their first date, Cole had even duplicated the menu. She couldn‘t believe he remembered. Marni couldn‘t even remember when she‘d last indulged in a root beer float, but she remembered other things, like the time she believed Cole loved her.
The waitress skated away and Marni reached out to him, placing her hand on his arm. When he looked at her, she said, “You were right. I do like it.” The soft expression in his eyes told her he was pleased.
“I wasn‘t sure you‘d remember.” His voice was low and seductive.
Marni removed her hand, uncomfortable with the sudden intimacy. Cole was close, too close, and she had to be careful. She had Jenna to think of, and she couldn‘t afford to lose her heart to Cole again. The price of loving him was simply too high to pay and had cost her dearly already.
Cole watched her retreat inside herself, and frowned. For an instant she‘d let her defenses down, but now the veil covering her emotions fell back into place. He wanted to shout in frustration. The questions that had plagued him for years needed answers, yet he found he was strangely reluctant to learn the truth. What if she had never experienced the same strong emotional pull he had all those years ago? Cole took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. He turned to face her, his arm resting on the seat inches from her hair. The jacket of her peach suit cast a soft hue against her skin. “You still like football?” Cole wanted to shake himself for being such a coward, for not asking what he really wanted to know.
A slow smile lit her face. “Football and classic movies. That‘s me.”
Cole couldn‘t help laughing. “You‘re the only woman I know who understands the offensive patterns of the Chiefs, then cries no matter how many times she sees Old Yeller.”
He enjoyed the sparkle in her eyes. The yellow flecks appeared to shimmer with a blend of humor and indignation. She lifted a delicate brow. “One has nothing to do with the other. Besides, I thought it terribly unjust when they had to shoot the poor dog.”
“If I remember correctly, you even cried during the chariot races in that Heston movie.”
“I did not.” Her voice lacked conviction.
“Still a sucker for animals.” He shook his head. “You‘ll never change, Marni.”
“Oh, I‘ve changed.”
The laughter left her voice, and he wondered what had changed her. Had she met someone after leaving Elk Falls? No matter how painful, Cole had to know the truth. Things should have been so different for them. “Why did you leave Kansas so abruptly?”
“Let‘s not get into this. It was a long time ago. We were a long time ago.” She kept her eyes on the waitresses gliding back and forth, toting trays above their heads.
Cole drew his brows together. “Just answer my question.”
“What does it matter? I left town and you married Elizabeth.”
Cole froze at the coldness in her tone. He didn‘t know what to say, but he had to know the truth. “I only want to know why. I thought we had something special.”
Marni sighed and turned to face him. She noted the stubborn lift of his chin but couldn‘t understand why he didn‘t just drop the subject. The past was behind them. “It‘s not important.”
His tenacious expression was replaced by a brief flash of anger. “I think it‘s damned important.” His voice was hard. “One day we were planning our future together, and the next, you were gone.”
The harshness of his tone surprised her. Marni rested her head against the seat and closed her eyes. “Oh, God.” Maybe, just maybe, she had meant something to Cole. She wanted to weep for the years she‘d been cheated out of sharing his life, of the years Jenna had been cheated. At the time, she‘d thought she was doing the right thing by ending their relationship. Now she wasn‘t so sure. Perhaps they had both suffered needlessly. “I thought you would lose interest in me because I didn‘t fit into your world.” Tears blinded her eyes and choked her voice.
Cole reached across the front seat and gathered her into his arms. “Ah, Marni.”
She slid easily into his embrace and enjoyed the strength of his strong hands massaging her back in a slow, sensual caress. Laying her head against his chest, she drew comfort from the even, steady rhythm of his heart.
He tilted her head back until she was looking into his eyes, and her heartbeat skyrocketed. Slowly he lowered his lips, brushing them gently against hers in a feather-light touch. A dam had broken, destroying every ounce of sanity she possessed. He teased her mouth open and Marni welcomed the sensual invasion. Her senses came alive, spiraling in a wave of heat, and she returned his kiss, not at all shocked at her own eager response to his slow, drugging seduction.
When he pulled away to look at her, the emerald fire of his eyes matched the inferno inside her. Then his mouth slanted over hers and she fully understood the hunger they shared. A need denied to them for too many years.
Cole demanded and Marni responded. He took and she gave. Gave herself up to the passion enveloping them. She clung to Cole as if to a lifeline. Blood pounded in her ears as jolt after jolt of wild sensation rocketed through her.
An eternity later, he pulled his mouth from hers and slid his lips along her cheek, kissing her jaw, nibbling on the lobe of her ear, then moving on to her temple. Sanity slowly returned, and with it the realization of what she was doing–succumbing to a man who would break her heart when he learned the truth. That Carson had paid her off. She pushed against Cole in an attempt to right herself, but he held her tight.
She pulled back and looked into his eyes. Emotion choked her at the tenderness in his gaze.
He brought his hand up and cupped her cheek. “I‘ve missed you, Marni.”
“Don‘t.” She couldn‘t bear the gentleness of his voice, the way he held her in his arms. Pulling out of his embrace, she returned to her side of the car.
“Marni?” Cole‘s soft voice drifted over her. He reached out and caressed her cheek.
Marni closed her eyes to ward off the pain in her chest. “What good will it do? Too much time has passed, Cole.” Her voice was barely above a whisper. She opened her eyes and moved further away from him. She couldn‘t think when he was so near.
Their waitress rolled toward them, a tray laden with their order balanced against her shoulder. Cole paid her after she placed the tray on the driver‘s-side window. The carhop skated away, and Cole stared straight ahead.
Marni took the opportunity to examine him closely. His finely chiseled profile spoke of power and strength; firm and sensual lips set below a straight, aristocratic nose. She thought again of how much he affected her. Deep in thought, his left arm slung over the steering wheel, he chewed absently on the inside of his lower lip–a habit he hadn‘t lost over the years.
“I never heard from you after you broke things off between us. I‘d hoped you‘d change your mind, but then you left town without even so much as a goodbye.” His low voice startled her and Marni had trouble hearing him. She leaned over and snapped off the radio, silence settling over them like a thick fog rolling in off the sea.
“I went a little crazy after you left. No one knew where to find you. It was as if you‘d disappeared off the face of the earth. Almost as if you‘d never existed to begin with.”
Marni chose her words carefully. “I never knew.”
Cole emitted a short bark of laughter. He scrubbed his hand over his face and sighed heavily. “At first I worried, then I got mad. I thought you‘d met someone else and didn‘t have the decency to tell me about it.”
“There was no one.” Marni couldn‘t help the pleading note in her voice. She‘d never have hurt him that way. Never. When she‘d told him she loved him, she‘d meant it.
“Not long afterward I went to a party with some friends and proceeded to get smashed. I was going to track you down and find out what was going on. I don‘t remember a whole lot except the next morning Elizabeth was in bed with me.” Cole shook his head as if to clear away a few remaining cobwebs. “I was sick over what I‘d done at first. To my mind, I‘d cheated on you, but then I figured you dumped me, so what the hell.
“Three weeks later, Elizabeth told me she was pregnant and it was mine. I slept with her, so I took responsibility for my actions. She said she didn‘t want to get an abortion. Claimed she didn‘t believe in them.”
Marni didn‘t understand the derision in his voice but kept silent, not wanting to interrupt him.
“When I told my father I‘d gotten her pregnant, he insisted I do the right thing and marry her. Two months after we married, Elizabeth ‘lost’ the baby.”
Something in Cole‘s eyes told Marni a different story. “You don‘t think she was pregnant?” she asked.
“Sweetheart, I know she wasn‘t pregnant.”
Pain twisted Marni‘s heart. Elizabeth had tricked him into marriage by claiming she was pregnant with his child. The irony of the situation hit her full force. Elizabeth‘s lies were Marni‘s truth. She even had a beautiful twelve-year-old daughter to prove her claim. “How did you know?”
“She told me when we divorced.” Cole took a deep breath. “Elizabeth did get pregnant two years later, but she had an abortion. She did it to get back at me.”
“I don‘t understand.” Marni‘s throat ached with unshed tears. She didn‘t understand how anyone could do such a thing.
“Our marriage was not an easy one. We fought constantly. After she supposedly lost the baby, I slept in the guest room and we rarely talked. I was angry. I blamed Elizabeth because I was so miserable. I admit, I was a real jerk, and I did sleep with her occasionally. The last time I shared her bed, she accused me of not loving her and I couldn‘t deny it. She never forgave me. When she discovered she was pregnant, she got rid of it, then bragged to me about what she‘d done. God, she took so much pleasure in robbing me of my child.”
Marni didn‘t want to feel sorry for him but she couldn‘t help herself. Tears of pain rolled down her cheeks, not only for Cole, but for herself and Jenna and for the child he‘d lost because of his ex-wife‘s vengeance. Cole‘s father and Elizabeth Wakefield had made sure that they‘d all suffered.
Cole smacked the steering wheel. “Dammit, I might not have loved Elizabeth, but I wanted my child. Elizabeth denied me the chance to be a father.”
Marni eyed him cautiously. She‘d seen Cole angry the night she ended their relationship, but his reaction to his ex-wife‘s betrayal frightened her. “What if Elizabeth had had the baby? Would you still have divorced her?”
“I‘m sure we would have divorced eventually. We didn‘t love each other, Marni. We were completely unsuitable. We both wanted different things out of life. Elizabeth‘s idea of family night was an evening of dining and dancing at the country club. For me it would be spending a quiet evening at home with my wife and kids.”
Marni‘s heart twisted painfully and dread climbed up her spine. “But what would you have done about the child?”
“Taken responsibility for it. What else?”
He spoke with such conviction Marni nearly shivered. What was he trying to say? She had to know. “Do you mean financially?” Marni held her breath waiting for Cole to answer.
“No, I would have insisted on having an active role in my son or daughter‘s life. I would have sued for joint custody. Full custody if she hadn‘t really wanted a child.” Cole gripped the steering wheel as he spoke. His dark brows slanted in harsh lines over his eyes. “The point is moot, though. She didn‘t give me a choice.”
Marni found it difficult to swallow and impossible to breathe. Full custody. She knew she could never let Cole know about Jenna. Elizabeth had aborted his baby, but Marni had his child–an adorable, precocious twelve-year-old, and he didn‘t even know about her.
Cole reached across the expanse of the car and caressed her cheek tenderly. “Marni, what‘s wrong? You look scared to death.”
She moved away from him and whispered, “Don‘t,” her voice strained with tension.
“Why? I think–I know–you still care about me.” His brows drew together fiercely, yet there was no anger in his voice. Only a gentleness that pierced her heart.
“It won‘t work.” She didn‘t know how to make him understand. As much as she loved him, even after all this time, she could not allow him back into her life. If she told him about Jenna, he would hold her little secret against her. Even worse, with the power his father wielded, Cole could try to take Jenna away from her. No, telling Cole the truth was out of the question.
“Why?” he asked again, more forcefully.
“Cole, what we had was a long time ago. People change.” But she was lying. She loved him as fiercely now as she had thirteen years ago, and every day of her life she saw a reminder of her love for him. Their daughter.
Cole didn‘t say anything, he just continued to stare at her, then a slow smile touched his lips. “Yes, it has been a long time. Too long.”
Marni had no idea what he was thinking, but she knew Cole wasn‘t about to give up. He‘d never been one to accept defeat, and while the thought of Cole‘s pursuit frightened her, it also gave her a slight surge of female satisfaction. A ridiculous reaction under the circumstances.
* * *
AFTER COLE DROPPED her off at her car, Marni drove straight to the Salvation Army to deliver the clothes in the trunk, then stopped at a luggage shop on Wilshire to pick up a new briefcase. She should have bought a new one months ago. If she had, she wouldn‘t be a jumble of nerves right now.
Her resolve not to tell Cole about Jenna increased. Besides, she reasoned, how would she tell him? She supposed she could give him the letter she‘d sent him when Jenna was born. The letter had been returned–unopened–by Carson, no doubt. But at least he hadn‘t read the contents, so he didn‘t know about Jenna. Nevertheless, she‘d made an attempt to do the right thing, regardless of her deal with his father.
She deposited the new briefcase in the trunk of the car, then drove the few blocks to her office, trying not to think of Cole. Yes, she decided, her life would be much less complicated if she stayed away from Cole Ballinger. Her response to his kisses was far too troubling.
Marni arrived at her office by midafternoon to find a frantic Peg fielding telephone calls. “Where have you been?” her secretary asked in an exasperated tone.
“I had an unexpected lunch date.” A stab of guilt pierced Marni. She should have called to check in.
“Someone tall, dark and handsome?” Peg sounded hopeful, and Marni winced.
“What‘s up?” she asked, determined not to discuss her “lunch date” with her secretary.
“This arrived just before noon.” Peg picked up a bound manuscript, then tossed it back on the desk to emphasize her displeasure.
Marni reached for the document, and her heart sank to her feet. An appellate brief from Kendell‘s attorney. “Have you read it?”
“With a ham sandwich and a Coke.”
What Marni liked most about Peg was her ability to get involved with the cases. Peg knew almost as much as Marni did when it came to the files assigned to them.
She nodded toward her office and Peg followed, grabbing her dictation pad. Marni slipped out of her jacket and hung it on the coatrack in the corner, then adjusted the cuffs of her blouse. Light streamed into the small office through the venetian blinds, and she closed them to help cool the office. The air conditioning in the old county building worked with as much efficiency as an unrestored vintage automobile and was probably just as ancient.
“On what grounds is the defense appealing?” Marni crossed the gray industrial carpeting to her desk. Peg closed the door.
“Judicial error.” Peg‘s outrage was apparent in her pale blue eyes. She adjusted her wire-rimmed glasses over her small, upturned nose, and pushed a lock of nondescript brown hair out of her face.
“Judicial error? Gladstone runs his courtroom by the book.” Marni sat behind the desk in the squeaky leather chair.
“I highlighted the important sections for you,” explained Peg, lowering herself into the chair across from Marni‘s desk. She held her pen over the stenographic pad, ready to take down her employer‘s every word.
Marni took a minute to review the brief, particularly the sections Peg had highlighted. The more she read, the angrier she became. The defense was claiming that Gladstone should never have admitted the testimony of Kendell‘s cell mate, who, they alleged, had been coerced. The brief went on to claim that the witness had been promised a reduction in his sentence if he agreed to testify.
“I can‘t believe this. Who took the witness‘s statement?”
Peg flipped through her notepad and produced the names of two policemen.
“I‘ll need to talk to Dorlan. Does he know about this?”
“Not yet. He‘s out of town until Monday.”
“Damn. Let his secretary know I have to talk to him if he calls in. And try to get hold of the officers,” Marni said. “I want to see them first thing Monday morning.”
Peg jotted notes on her pad. “Sure thing.”
“Better yet, give them my home phone number and have them call me over the weekend if necessary. We‘ve got to prepare a response, and I want to have it filed by Tuesday afternoon.”
“Do you need me to stay late tonight?”
Marni shook her head. “No. I‘ll get as much done this weekend as possible and have it to you by noon Monday. Will that give you enough time?”
Peg nodded. “Don‘t worry, Marni. We‘ll win this round, too.”
The phone rang and Marni jumped on it. “Marni Rodgers. Hold on,” she said tersely, still upset over the appellate brief. Cradling the receiver against her shoulder, she said to Peg, “Order the transcript. I need any argument between counsel regarding the witness and his subsequent testimony.”
Peg stood and adjusted her glasses again. “It‘s taken care of. The court reporter promised we‘d have it before five. Do you want me to take it home and index it?”
Marni appreciated Peg‘s offer but couldn‘t ask her secretary to work on a weekend. Peg had a family of her own to take care of. “I‘ll handle it. Oh, Peg. Call Jenna for me and tell her I‘ll be late, would you?”
Peg nodded, and slipped out of the office after dropping a stack of messages onto Marni‘s desk.
Marni turned her attention back to the telephone. “I‘m sorry. Hello?”
“Do you have plans for dinner?” Cole‘s deep, resonant voice responded.
The room tilted and Marni clasped a hand to her throat. Had he been listening? Oh, God. No!
“I have to work.” Her voice quaked with emotion, but at least the room righted itself again.
“You sound angry.”
“You‘re damn right I‘m angry.” Angry and scared, she thought. Call Jenna for me and tell her I‘ll be late. Please God, she silently prayed.
“Something I said?” His voice was soothing, and Marni‘s pulse slowed a fraction. She wasn‘t angry at him, only at her own carelessness.
“The defense filed a brief on the Kendell case,” she said, trying to concentrate on the conversation.
“Sounds bad.”
“It is.”
“Care to talk about it?”
Marni found herself responding to his gentle coaxing, and before she realized it, she was telling him all about the defendant‘s contentions of coercion of a material witness, explaining that if the appellate court overturned the trial court‘s ruling, Kendell would have to be retried without the testimony of the witness. And if that happened, the prosecution‘s case could be weakened. “What‘s even worse is that the defense knows our strategy. It‘ll be like starting from scratch, and this case was tough enough the first time round.”
Cole leaned back in the soft executive chair of his office overlooking Century City. He smiled as he listened to Marni relate the legal issues involved in the murder trial. When she talked about her work, there were no barriers. “Is it true?” he asked.
“I don‘t know. I have to talk to the officers who took his statement. If they promised him anything, we could be in big trouble.”
A light tapping sound drifted over the phone lines. He pictured her drumming the tip of her pen on the desk, deep in concentration as she planned her counterattack. “Could Kendell be freed?”
“Not unless a new trial proves him innocent.”
“But if the press paints a picture of impropriety on the D.A.‘s part–”
“Exactly,” she said. “I‘ll be fighting an uphill battle. April Burnell will tear the state to shreds, and who knows how many other members of the press will join ranks with her.”
He didn‘t miss the despair in her voice and wished he could do something to help her. “How important is this witness?”
“Very,” she stated emphatically. “He testified that Kendell told him in intimate detail how he murdered those girls.”
Cole stood and looked out the twentieth-story window at the heavy traffic below the elegant offices of Ballinger Electronics as Marni finished her account of the importance of the witness testimony. “I wish I could help,” he told her.
“Me, too.” Her voice softened.
Cole smiled into the phone. He was reluctant to let her get away from him again. Grasping for something to say to keep her talking, he asked, “Who‘s Jenna?”
CHAPTER THREE
M ARNI COULD FEEL the blood drain from her face at his question. Her stomach churned from shock. “Who?” she managed to choke out, surprised she could utter the simple word.
“Jenna.”
She swallowed with difficulty. “Who?” Cole probably thought he was talking to an owl. An unintelligent owl.
“You asked Peg to tell her you‘d be late. Is she a friend of yours?”
Marni tried to ignore the humming in her ears and stirred uneasily in her chair. “Oh, yes, yes. We did have plans for dinner, but well, you know.” She closed her eyes and prayed. Prayed he‘d accept her feeble explanation and drop this line of questioning.
“Marni, are you all right?” The concern in his tone only increased her wariness.
“Fine,” she said with forced brightness. Her hands shook uncontrollably. “I‘m just thinking about all the work I have to do.”
“Hmmm. So I guess you‘ll be working through the weekend now.” He spoke tentatively, as if he hoped she might be free, after all.
“Yes, I will. I really have to go.” Marni tried to lower her tone an octave. She took a deep breath and willed her hands to stop shaking. The limbs refused to cooperate.
“I‘ll call you next week, then.”
“Sure. Bye, Cole.” He‘d sounded disappointed, but she practically flung the receiver back onto the cradle before he could ask her anything else about Jenna.
Marni leaned back in the worn burgundy chair and stared at the phone, concentrating on resuming a normal breathing pattern. What was she going to do? He couldn‘t keep calling her or following her to the courthouse! Marni glanced at the framed school photo of Jenna on her desk. If he came to her office and saw the photo...Marni refused to think about it. She couldn‘t or she‘d go crazy.
The door to her office opened and Rebecca Parks stepped in. “I was in the neighborhood and thought I‘d stop by.”
“Really? Come to get a copy of the warrant?” Marni didn‘t believe her friend for a minute. She‘d come here for one reason, and it had nothing to do with law. Rebecca wanted to know about Cole.
She smiled sheepishly. “Obvious, huh?”
“Uh-huh.” Marni nodded, still shaken by her near disaster with Cole.
Rebecca lowered herself into the chair across from Marni‘s desk. “Can you blame me for being curious? Who is he?” Her blue eyes sparkled with anticipation.
“Who?” Marni seriously doubted her ability to converse logically. If all she uttered were inane animal sounds, her career would be over.
Rebecca sighed heavily. “The hunk, Marni.”
“An old friend.” Full custody. The dreadful words reverberated through Marni‘s mind.
“Ha! You don‘t expect me to believe that, do you?” Rebecca drummed her fingers impatiently on the coarse fabric of the chair. “Give up, Rodgers.”
Marni stood abruptly, crossing the room to the bookshelves. She stared at the titles, unable to concentrate. An uncomfortable silence filled the room, and Marni could feel Rebecca‘s eyes on her.
“Who is he? Really.” Her friend spoke quietly, her demeanor serious.
Marni slipped a law book from the shelf and continued to peruse the other titles. “I told you, an old friend. We grew up together.”
“High school sweethearts?” Rebecca teased.
“Something like that,” Marni mumbled, fingering one of the books filled with precedent-setting case law.
Rebecca issued a deep, throaty chuckle. “Where‘s he been all your life?”
Rebecca‘s pumps hit the floor with a thud, a sure indication her friend wasn‘t leaving until she got the information she wanted.
Marni pulled another book from the shelf and rested it against her hip. “Married.”
Rebecca sighed dramatically. “Why are all the gorgeous ones taken?”
“He‘s not. He married someone else two months after I moved to California, but they divorced.” Marni pulled two more books from the shelves and returned to her desk, still not looking at Rebecca.
“Someone else?” Rebecca asked in a silky voice. “Marni. Who is this guy?”
Marni let out a long, audible sigh. Now Rebecca would have to know everything. She would need her friend‘s legal expertise if Cole found out about Jenna. “I really hate to burden you with my problems.”
“Sweetie, if you can‘t talk to me, who can you talk to? Jenna? I know the kid‘s bright, but she doesn‘t have much experience in the male gender department.”
“Heavens, no.” What an interesting conversation that would be, Marni mused.
Rebecca remained quiet. Marni glanced at her friend and nearly shuddered at the thoughtful look on her face. Pulling one of the law books from the pile on her desk, Marni flipped through the pages trying to locate the case law she needed to prepare her opposing brief.
“It‘s him, isn‘t it.”
Marni‘s shoulders sagged. Her friend hadn‘t become a successful attorney because she was dumb.
Rebecca leaned forward in the chair, her blue eyes piercing. “He‘s the guy who got you pregnant and then skipped out, isn‘t he.”
“He didn‘t skip out,” Marni corrected her. “I just never told him about Jenna.”
“Well, he didn‘t give you a chance if he got married two months after you split.”
The sarcasm in Rebecca‘s voice made Marni wince. She sent Rebecca what she hoped was a glare. “Would you please stop!” Marni snapped the book closed in irritation. “Cole Ballinger is not one to run from his responsibilities.”
A startled gasp escaped Rebecca. “Cole Ballinger? Ballinger Electronics’ Cole Ballinger? Marni, you dog. Do you know who he is?”
Marni rolled her eyes. “Jenna‘s father?”
Rebecca ignored Marni‘s bad humor. “No, I mean financially. There was a big article on Ballinger Electronics in Time or Newsweek a month or so ago. He‘s a rich guy.”
“Gee, I must have missed a little detail.” Marni couldn‘t help the mockery of her tone. When it came to Cole, she knew just about everything there was to know.
“They were thinking of closing shop on their software division, and then Daddy gave it to Sonny Boy to play with. Boom. Six months later they‘re showing a huge profit margin. From what I understand, this isn‘t the first division Golden Boy‘s turned around.”
“Good. Maybe he‘ll go away and save another division of Daddy‘s company and leave me alone.” If only she could be so lucky.
Rebecca became serious again. “You‘re not going to tell him about Jenna, are you?”
Marni stood and walked to the window. She opened the venetian blinds and gazed out at the setting sun casting a deep orange hue over the skyline. “No, and he‘s not going to find out, either.” Turning back to face Rebecca, she leaned against the windowsill.
“He‘s bound to if he keeps coming around. And I get the impression this guy won‘t give up until he gets what he wants. Looks to me to be the determined type.” Rebecca looked pointedly at the framed photograph of Jenna on Marni‘s desk. “Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?”
Marni nodded.
Rebecca leaned back in the chair again. “Well, the initial consultation is free, kiddo. I think it‘s time you told me everything.”
Marni stepped away from the window and reached into her desk to retrieve a legal pad. She tossed it to Rebecca. “I don‘t know where to start.”
Rebecca suddenly became every inch the lawyer. “The beginning is always a good place.”
Marni punched the Do Not Disturb button on her telephone, then came around to stand in front of the desk. “Do you need to know the first time I ever saw him?” She couldn‘t help the smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. Propping her hip against the desk, a vivid recollection struck her of the first time she‘d ever laid eyes on Cole Ballinger. A heavy sigh escaped her.
“If that‘s where it begins, then go for it.” Rebecca‘s voice was soft and coaxing. She leaned back in the chair again and waited for Marni to speak.
“He was a football hero. Captain of the wrestling team. You name it, Cole did it. A rich kid with everything going for him. Good looks, charm, a hot car and Elizabeth Wakefield on his arm. After he graduated from high school, he attended the university in Lawrence. Life was pretty lonely after he left town.”
“But he had a girlfriend? I don‘t understand.”
“I had a such a crush on Cole, it wouldn‘t have mattered if he‘d had ten girls shackled to his leg! He never noticed me until he returned to Elk Falls two years later. He came back to see his sister, Janelle, graduate. I finally got up the nerve to talk to him and the next day he called and asked me out.” Marni sat on the edge of her desk. “God, I was in heaven. Cole Ballinger asked me out on a date.”
She glanced at Rebecca. “I worked that summer in a law office as a receptionist, trying to save up enough money for college so I could get my paralegal certificate. My mother‘s health was getting worse and we couldn‘t afford much. It was up to me to pay my own way. I worked all day, but my evenings were spent with Cole. We did everything together. I was young and foolish, and I believed it when he told me he loved me.”
Rebecca chuckled. “A man will tell you anything when he‘s got a hard...”
“I know, I know.” Marni grimaced.
“What happened to this Wakefield woman?”
Marni shrugged. “Cole said they‘d split up.”
Rebecca shook her head. “So you made love to the guy, came here, then found out you were pregnant.”
“I called, but I spoke to his father. Carson told me his son was on his honeymoon.”
Rebecca lifted a brow at Marni‘s barely controlled sarcasm. “With Wakefield?”
Marni nodded, a stab of pain wrenching her heart. Pain at what she‘d lost, at what she could never have. “Cole told me today Elizabeth claimed to be pregnant, but she really wasn‘t.”
“So he slept with Elizabeth right after you left. What a jerk!”
Marni detected the heat in Rebecca‘s words, and despite the gravity of the situation, she found herself defending Cole. “It wasn‘t like that. If it were, this wouldn‘t be so difficult.”
“I don‘t understand.”
“Cole‘s father never liked me. My mother was a waitress, my father skipped out when I was two. I wasn‘t socially connected. All the usual stereotype clichés about a poor kid from the wrong side of town fit, and Carson Ballinger didn‘t think I was good enough for his son. Carson offered to pay for my education and take care of my mom‘s medical expenses if I stopped seeing Cole. He played on my insecurities and used my mom‘s diabetes as ammunition. I‘d never fit into Cole‘s crowd. I had no education, no breeding, as he put it. He convinced me Cole would eventually tire of making excuses for my lack of social connections and my ignorance of his way of life. He made me believe I‘d only become an embarrassment to Cole.”
A hard glint came into Rebecca‘s eyes. “And you accepted that?”
“Oh, yeah. I even took him up on his offer and told Cole the next day it was over between us. Mom and I came to L.A., and I applied to USC.”
Rebecca sniffed in derision. “Did Sonny Boy lie to you when he said Wakefield was out of the picture?”
“No, he didn‘t. When he didn‘t hear from me again, he was angry. He passed out drunk at a party one night, and when he woke up, Elizabeth was in bed with him. She told Cole when they divorced she hadn‘t really been pregnant at all.”
“What a witch!”
Marni ignored her friend‘s outburst. “Today, when he explained what happened, he told me Elizabeth got pregnant two years later. She aborted it and he divorced her. I asked him what he would have done if Elizabeth had had the baby. He was so angry, Rebecca. Really angry.”
“Can‘t say I blame him.”
Marni closed her eyes, remembering his harsh expression when he told her what Elizabeth had done. She opened her eyes and clasped her hands in front of her. “He said he would have sued her for custody–maybe even full custody.”
“Ah, I‘m beginning to understand. Still, you‘re not married to him. Why the worry? You‘re the one with all the rights here, kiddo. You can sue him for support. Thirteen years’ worth of it. A nice little nest egg if you ask me.”
“You don‘t understand. Cole‘s whole point is that Elizabeth didn‘t give him a choice. She robbed him of the opportunity to be a father.”
“Marni, I think you‘re worrying for nothing. Besides, Roe v. Wade is about a woman‘s choice, not a man‘s, and has absolutely nothing to do with your situation.”
“You didn‘t see his face.”
“Still, what his ex-wife did has nothing to do with you and Jenna.”
Marni couldn‘t accept Rebecca‘s logic. “I think it does. Don‘t you see? I didn‘t give him a choice, either. I even took money from his father.”
“Well, Cole didn‘t give you much of a choice from what I‘ve heard. He married someone else while you carried his child!”
“But I didn‘t tell him.”
“That‘s beside the point. The money part–that‘s between Cole and Daddy. It‘s not a legal problem for you. I don‘t think Sonny Boy‘ll have a leg to stand on if he does attempt to sue you for custody. You‘re a great mother, Marni. He‘ll have to petition for paternity first, then you can get him for child support. We can tie that little process up in the system for a long time.” Rebecca smiled, a slow, catlike grin. “But without proving paternity first, he doesn‘t stand a chance of gaining so much as visitation rights, so that little scenario will never have to be played out.”
“Rebecca, Cole is named as Jenna‘s father on her birth certificate.” Marni spoke softly, dreading the lawyer‘s response.
“Tell me you‘re kidding.” The incredulity in Rebecca‘s voice only increased Marni‘s trepidation.
Marni shook her head silently.
“Oh, Marni.” Rebecca looked as if she‘d just lost her best friend.
“I never thought I‘d see him again,” she reasoned, “but I still wanted Jenna to know who her father was. She is a Ballinger whether or not she lives with her father.”
Rebecca gave Marni a hard stare. “Does Jenna have his name?”
Marni couldn‘t answer.
“Is Jenna‘s name Ballinger?” she repeated.
Marni looked at her hands, clenched in her lap. She‘d fully understood the implications of her actions when she put Cole‘s name on Jenna‘s birth certificate. Now she wished she hadn‘t been so hopeful and foolhardy. “Yes.” The word came out in a choked whisper.
Marni couldn‘t bear to face Rebecca. The thought of seeing the look on her friend‘s face was simply too much for her to take right now. Marni knew she‘d been a fool; she didn‘t need to see it mirrored in Rebecca‘s eyes.
The phone on Peg‘s desk rang, but Marni knew her secretary wouldn‘t be interrupting them; the red light on Peg‘s phone indicated Marni was not to be disturbed. The air-conditioning system hummed, then sputtered, then resumed its low purr. The clock on the wall ticked, reminding her of a bomb in an old B-movie.
After an eternity, Rebecca finally spoke. “Marni, I hate to tell you this, but I think you should tell him about Jenna.”
Marni sprang from the desk, as if shot from a cannon. “No.”
“Listen to me,” Rebecca pleaded.
“No.” Marni paced the confines of the office like a caged tiger. The sensation of being trapped frightened her almost as much as Cole‘s learning the truth. “It‘s out of the question. I won‘t let him take Jenna away from me.”
Rebecca tossed the legal pad down on Marni‘s desk with a resounding slap. “Dammit, Marni. Would you listen? Sit down.”
Marni plopped into the chair next to Rebecca and crossed her arms over her chest in a defensive gesture. “Okay, I‘m listening.”
“You wanted my legal advice, and I say tell him. If he finds out on his own, he‘s going to be angry. If he‘s angry, he‘ll probably retaliate. How would you feel if the situation were reversed? Tell him, Marni. Explain to him what you just told me. He‘s bound to understand.”
“No.” Marni tapped her foot irritably.
“You‘re not using your head.” Rebecca‘s exasperation was obvious.
Marni stared hard at her friend and, now, lawyer. “I can‘t tell him.”
“Oh, for heaven‘s sake. Would you tell me why?”
“Because I‘m not going to give him a chance to take Jenna away from me.” Marni cringed at the desperation in her voice. God, how she hated this. She hated feeling vulnerable.
Rebecca spoke in a soft voice. “I don‘t think he can or will.”
“I won‘t give him a chance. I can‘t, Rebecca. Carson has made a career out of buying people. Who‘s to say he couldn‘t purchase himself a judge? And how would Jenna feel if she was ripped from her home to live God knows where with a man she doesn‘t even know? Am I supposed to stand by and allow her to be subjected to Carson Ballinger‘s narrow-minded attitudes? He‘d hate Jenna as much as he hated me. I won‘t do that to her.”
“Marni, he isn‘t some forties mobster with judges and politicians in his pocket.”
“You don‘t know him.”
“You‘re not being fair.”
“I don‘t have to be fair,” Marni answered childishly. “I‘m protecting Jenna.”
Rebecca looked at her intently. “Are you? Or are you protecting yourself?”
Marni had no response.
* * *
COLE SET ASIDE THE REPORT he‘d been unable to concentrate on and pushed himself away from the oversized chrome-and-glass desk. Stepping over to the window, he stared out at the evening traffic below and thought about Marni. He wanted to see her again. Now. Tonight. He tried to forget the heat of the kiss they‘d shared at the drive-in restaurant, but he couldn‘t. The memory only served to cause a slow burn in the pit of his stomach. He still needed to know why she‘d left Elk Falls–and him.
She‘d said he would have lost interest in her because she didn‘t fit into his world, but that didn‘t make sense. The Marni he‘d known would have confronted her problems head on. He‘d seen fear in her eyes today, and he couldn‘t begin to understand why. The only thing he did know was he didn‘t want to wait until Monday to be with her again. She must have some free time before then.
Cole reached for the telephone and dialed her office. On the second ring, Marni‘s secretary picked up the phone.
“Ms. Rodgers‘s office. This is Peg.”
Cole could hear the smile in Peg‘s voice. “Peg, this is Cole Ballinger. Is Marni available?”
“She‘s gone for the day. Can I take a message?” Cole detected a hopeful note in Peg‘s voice. If Peg was on his side, then maybe he‘d pull this little stunt off without a hitch. He could only hope.
“No, that‘s okay. I‘ll see her tonight.” A stab of guilt assailed him for lying, but he ignored it. He was determined to see Marni again before the weekend was over.
“I‘m leaving in a minute, but if she phones in, I‘ll tell her you called.”
“Thanks, Peg.” Cole hung up and counted to one hundred. He picked up the phone and redialed the number.
After the third ring, Cole began to think Peg had already left. The woman must have bolted from her desk.
She picked up on the fourth ring.
“Ms. Rodgers‘s office.”
Cole smiled. “Peg, this is Cole Ballinger again. I‘m sorry to bother you, but I can‘t seem to find Marni‘s number. She gave it to me today, but I seem to have lost it.”
“I should really ask Marni first.” Cole noted the hesitation in Peg‘s voice.
What the hell, he thought. No sense stopping now. “I was supposed to pick her up about eight-thirty and I need to let her know I‘ll be late,” he improvised.
Peg was quiet and Cole waited. He could almost imagine her weighing the consequences of releasing Marni‘s home number.
“Have you got a pen?” Peg finally asked.
Cole jotted the number on a scratch pad, thanked Peg and hung up the phone before his luck changed. That had been too easy. He wrote the number on his Rolodex, then placed the slip of paper in his wallet. Dear, sweet Peg. She deserved a raise for her cooperation, or at least a bouquet.
The drive across town took him twenty minutes in Friday evening traffic. He let himself into his quiet, ultramodern apartment, checked his answering machine for messages, then took a cool shower.
Dressed in a worn pair of Levi‘s and a University of Kansas sweatshirt, he glanced at the clock on the bedside table. Six-twenty. Marni had said she lived by the beach. But which beach? Southern California was one long coastline. She could live anywhere from Malibu to Newport. Cole decided she‘d be home in an hour, either way. He snapped on the television on his way to the kitchen, made himself a sandwich, grabbed a Coke from the fridge and went back into the living room to wait.
The phone rang and Cole reached for it. “Hello?”
“How‘s the software end of things, son?” Carson Ballinger‘s baritone voice sounded affable.
“Fine,” Cole answered, surprised to be hearing from him.
“Your mother‘s been complaining you haven‘t called her.”
“I‘ve been busy.” Cole wondered what his father really wanted.
“I‘m flying out next week. I‘ll be arriving on Wednesday.”
“Coming to check up on me?” Cole wanted nothing more than to tell his father to stop breathing down his neck, but wisdom prevailed. For now, Carson Ballinger still called the shots, but Cole was becoming increasingly weary of living in his father‘s shadow.
“Just routine. Wouldn‘t be doing my job if I didn‘t make the rounds occasionally.” Carson chuckled.
“Well, it‘s nice to hear from you, Dad, but I‘ve got an appointment. I have to run.”
“Can I tell your mother you‘ve got a date?”
“You could say that,” Cole answered, not yet willing to divulge the fact Marni might become part of his life again. She didn‘t seem too willing, but Cole hoped like hell he could change her mind.
“Anyone we know? That vice president of marketing is a nice young lady. Her father owns the Masters Hardware chain.”
“Really.” Cole didn‘t care if her father was president of the United States. Hanna Masters was an attractive and intelligent woman, but she reminded him too much of Elizabeth. Definitely not the kind of woman he wanted to become involved with.
“I ran into an old friend yesterday,” he offered, hoping to steer his father away from the subject of Hanna Masters‘s financial attributes.
“Who is she?”
Cole ran a hand through his hair in an agitated gesture. No sense putting it off. “Marni Rodgers. She went to school with Janelle.”
“Oh, yes. Her mother was ill. No father, either, if I remember correctly.”
“That‘s her,” Cole answered.
Silence.
“How is she?” Carson finally asked.
Cole wondered about the caution in his father‘s voice. “She‘s an assistant D.A. here in Los Angeles.” A surge of pride filled him. She‘d accomplished her dream to become an attorney. He‘d never imagined her as a prosecutor, though. To him, Marni was more of an environmental type. Save the whales, or the kangaroo rat, or some other endangered species.
“I see. You‘re not planning to see her again, are you?”
“I‘ve thought about it.” Who was he kidding? She was all he‘d thought about for the past twenty-four hours.
“That‘s not a good idea.”
“Oh?” Cole ignored the warning note in Carson‘s voice.
“She has no background, son. Her mother was a waitress, for goodness’ sake. She‘s all wrong for you.”
“And Elizabeth was right for me?” Cole thought again about his father‘s reaction when Cole had told him Elizabeth was pregnant. He‘d expected a tirade, a stern lecture on how he‘d disappointed the family, but his father had been strangely elated. Not for the first time, Cole wondered why.
“At least Elizabeth had breeding,” Carson shot at him.
“Breeding? What about a heart? Compassion? Sincerity? Those are the qualities I look for in a person.”
“I only want what‘s best for you, son. I don‘t want you to get hurt. Marni turned her back on you once before. Thank goodness you had Elizabeth.”
“I have to go,” Cole said, not wanting to argue with his father–at least not over the telephone. He‘d known for a while now it was time for him to step away from Ballinger Electronics. After successfully turning two faltering divisions into profit-making entities, Cole knew he was ready. More than ready. If anything, the move might improve his relationship with his father.
“All right, son. I‘ll see you next week.”
Cole replaced the receiver and glanced at the clock again, putting the conversation with his father behind him. He‘d deal with Carson next week.
* * *
MARNI PULLED INTO the driveway of the white beach house twenty minutes after seven. Fortunately the transcript of the Kendell trial had arrived early, and Marni managed to escape the office sooner than she‘d expected, leaving Peg to field any last-minute telephone calls. With the Kendell appeal and Cole‘s appearance in her life, she needed time to catch her breath. Somehow she had to handle both calamities, but she didn‘t have the faintest idea how.
Jenna came bounding out of the house, the screen door banging behind her. The light from the porch cast a hazy yellow glow over the small veranda and spilled onto a fraction of the manicured lawn. A large German shepherd rounded the house, trampling through the dormant rose garden, and barked, wagging his tail at Jenna.
“Arlo, shush. It‘s only Mom,” Jenna scolded the dog. The point was lost on the large animal, who barked again in reply.
“Sorry I‘m late,” Marni said, stepping from the car. “It was one of those days.”
“Denise called. She wants to know if I can go skiing with her tomorrow.”
Marni stepped through the gate and put her arm around her daughter. A flood of protectiveness and love rushed through her. She was reluctant to let Jenna out of her sight but quickly quashed her foolishness. “I don‘t see why not. I‘ve got a lot of work to do this weekend, anyway. Have you eaten?”
“Yeah. I was hungry so I warmed up the leftover pizza. I saved you some.” Jenna opened the front door and Arlo trotted into the house.
Marni didn‘t think she could eat a bite. Not after her conversation with Rebecca. She couldn‘t get over the fact that her friend had insisted she tell Cole about Jenna. The notion bordered on insanity.
“Oh, there‘s an old movie on cable tonight,” Jenna said, dropping onto the sofa.
Arlo wandered into the kitchen. Probably to search the floor for crumbs. Marni couldn‘t seem to keep the junk food out of her daughter or her dog.
“Which one?”
“Oklahoma.” Jenna shared Marni‘s love for old movies, particularly old musicals. Marni had taken her to a Rodgers and Hammerstein film festival in Venice, and Jenna had become as hooked as Marni.
Marni smiled at her daughter. “Let me get out of this monkey suit.” She crossed the beige carpeting and headed toward the master bedroom. The phone rang, and Marni said, “Will you get that, sweetie. I don‘t want to talk to anyone tonight, unless it‘s urgent.”
Jenna darted past Marni into the bedroom and picked up the cordless phone. “Hello?
“Uh, she‘s not here right now. Can I take a message?” Jenna mouthed the words “It‘s a man” to Marni and grinned broadly.
Marni rolled her eyes at her daughter and kicked off her pumps. Probably one of the policemen who‘d taken the witness‘s statement. Well, Marni could call him back tomorrow after she had reviewed the transcript. Tonight more than anything, she wanted to spend time with her daughter.
“What‘s the number?” Jenna jotted down the number while Marni stepped into the walk-in closet to change her clothes, pulling off her jacket along the way.
“Okay, and what‘s your name?” Jenna asked.
She smiled at her daughter‘s attempt at professionalism and hung the suit on a hanger and unbuttoned her silk blouse, tossing it in the basket of clothes destined for the dry cleaners.
“Say that again?” Jenna asked cautiously.
Marni discarded her slip, camisole and stockings, then slipped into the navy blue sweats she pulled from a drawer and tugged a matching hooded sweatshirt over her head. She quickly loosened the tight French braid and shook her hair before scrubbing her fingers over her scalp.
“Cole Ballinger?”
Marni‘s heart stopped beating as she gripped the built-in dresser for support. She began to shake. She gasped, trying to suck air into her lungs as the small room swam before her eyes. A cold knot formed in the pit of her stomach.
Jenna‘s voice sounded miles away. “Cole Ballinger? My father?”
CHAPTER FOUR
“T HIS IS SO COOL,” Jenna said.
Move, dammit! Marni couldn‘t get her body to cooperate with the commands issued by her brain. Too late to sever the connection between father and daughter. Her secret could no longer be hidden from Cole. He knew the truth.
“Me? I‘m Jenna. Marni‘s daughter.”
Marni got moving, but not fast enough.
“I‘ll be thirteen in May.”
Jenna responded to her father‘s questions openly. Through the years Marni had tried to teach her daughter honesty was all-important, telling her that the omission of facts was the same as deceit. She‘d never imagined herself a hypocrite until now.
She bolted out of the walk-in closet and practically tore the phone out of Jenna‘s hands, ignoring the startled look on her daughter‘s face. Pushing the button to disconnect the phone nearly proved impossible, her hands were shaking so badly.
“Mom!” Jenna wailed, a fierce frown creasing her brow. “What are you doing? You hung up on him!”
Marni ignored Jenna‘s indignation and began to pace. “I know.” She had to think of a plan. There had to be a way out of this rapidly growing nightmare.
“Why did you do that?” Jenna repeated.
Marni knew she was behaving like a first-class idiot, but she couldn‘t help herself. Panic did that to a person.
The phone rang again, she turned to look at her daughter. She pressed the button with her thumb and lifted the phone to her ear. “Hello?”
“Marni? What the hell is going on?” Cole sounded angry. More than angry.
Marni pushed the Disconnect button again. My world is falling apart!
“Mom!” Jenna cried.
Marni sat down on the bed and stared at the phone. The darn thing rang again. She pushed the button to answer, then promptly disconnected the caller, unable to face the dreadful fact that Cole had finally learned the truth. She wondered if she should feel guilty, yet the only emotion she felt was cold, stark fear. Fear of what Cole would do next.
“Mom? What are you doing?” Jenna asked again. She stood in front of Marni, hands placed on her slightly rounded hips. “Mom?” Her voice was soft, questioning, and Marni didn‘t know how to begin to explain her fears to Jenna. How could she tell her daughter she could lose her? That the father of a man she didn‘t even know had the power to take her away? That the cozy life they shared might never be the same again?
“Mom, why did he call here?”
She should unplug the phone. No, she thought, better to keep it off the hook. She couldn‘t turn off the ringers on the other two extensions in case of an emergency.
“Mom? Are you all right?” Jenna said, her tone even and controlled and much too grown-up. Her eyes held unanswerable questions, and Marni wished she could be anywhere in the world right now except this bedroom, facing her daughter‘s inquisitive gaze.
A high-pitched tone emanated from the phone, and Marni reached across the bed and covered it with a pillow.
“Why did he call, Mom?” Jenna asked again.
Marni took a deep breath and grabbed Jenna‘s hand, guiding the girl to the bed to sit beside her. She struggled for the right words to explain to her daughter what they could be facing in the not-too-distant future. “Jenna, until a few minutes ago, your father didn‘t know about you.”
“I know.” Bright green eyes looked at Marni. A slight smile, almost as crooked as Cole‘s, was on Jenna‘s lips. “I guess I gave him a shock, huh?”
Despite the possible frailty of their future together, Marni chuckled. “I‘m sure you did.” She pictured Cole, frustrated because he couldn‘t get through, questions pounding through his mind. How could she avoid him until Monday? She needed time. Time to bolster her waning courage before she faced Cole‘s wrath.
She began to wonder if perhaps Rebecca had been right. Maybe she should have told Cole before he learned the truth. But when? How? None of that mattered now. He knew and he was angry. Marni supposed she really couldn‘t blame him; if she was in his shoes right now, she‘d be downright furious.
“Why did he call?” Jenna asked for the third time.
Arlo sauntered into the bedroom and nudged Marni‘s hand, begging for attention. She absently scratched the dog behind the ear. “I ran into him yesterday.”
“You saw him?” Jenna shot off the bed. “You saw him and you didn‘t tell me?” Confusion threaded through her young voice.
“Jenna, I...”
“Why didn‘t you tell me?” the girl demanded, her arms bouncing off her sides in agitation.
“Jenna, calm down.”
“When can I see him? I want to meet him. He knows about me now, so there‘s no reason why I can‘t.”
“Jenna, you don‘t understand. It‘s complicated.”
“Then explain it to me.” Jenna plopped on the bed and stretched out across the bedspread. Resting on her elbow, she placed her head in her palm and looked pointedly at Marni, waiting for her to begin. Arlo hopped up on the bed beside her and laid his large head on her hip, as if he, too, were waiting for an explanation. The dog moaned and closed his eyes while Jenna rubbed his dark muzzle.
Marni‘s voice choked with emotion. “I didn‘t mean for any of this to happen,” she managed to say.
Regaining her composure, she tried to be as honest as possible, describing to Jenna as best she could what Cole had related to her about his disastrous marriage to Elizabeth Wakefield and his feelings about their child. “Now do you understand? If I told him about you, I was afraid he‘d try to sue me for partial custody, sweetheart.”
Jenna remained quiet and thoughtful while she digested the information Marni imparted about her father. “But do you know for sure? Would he really do that to us?”
The worry in her daughter‘s voice tugged at Marni‘s heart. “I didn‘t want to take the chance.” Now that he knew about Jenna, anything was possible. Imagining the worst, Marni closed her eyes, but her fears for her daughter refused to be quelled. As did her fear of Carson. He‘d paid her to stay out of his son‘s life, and she was certain he‘d see he got his money‘s worth.
Jenna sat up and scooted close to Marni, wrapping her arms around her mother‘s neck. “I love you, Mom. I wouldn‘t ever leave you.”
Marni hugged her daughter close, tears burning the backs of her eyes at the heartfelt confession. “I love you, too, Jenna.”
Jenna released her hold on Marni and sat back on her heels. “What are we gonna do?”
Falling back on the bed, Marni laid her arm over her eyes. Her head ached, and the light from the bedside table stung her eyes. “I‘m not sure yet. I‘ve got to think about this for a while.”
“I guess I shouldn‘t go with Denise now, huh?”
Marni lifted her arm to stare at her daughter. If Jenna really wanted to go skiing with the Lamberts, then she should go. Maybe getting away for the day would be good for her. Jenna was too young to be saddled with this sort of a dilemma. “You go ahead. I still have to work this weekend, and I need time to think this thing with your father through before Monday. I have a feeling he‘ll be waiting in my office when I get there.”
“I wish you‘d let me meet him,” Jenna said in a wistful tone.
Marni sighed and stood up. She tried to smile, but the result was more of a grimace. “I‘m sure he‘ll want to meet you, too.” In fact, if she knew Cole as well as she thought she did, he would demand to see his daughter.
Jenna reached over Arlo to the pillow covering the phone. “I‘ve gotta call Denise and tell her I can go.”
“Just make sure you take the phone off the hook again when you‘re done,” Marni told her.
Jenna nodded, then called Arlo before heading toward the door. “You still wanna watch the movie?” she asked, sounding hopeful.
Marni had no intention of denying her daughter anything tonight. Anything except seeing her father. “Sure. Just give me a few minutes, okay?”
“Okay, Mom.” Jenna smiled brightly. As if the entire situation threatening their lives no longer held importance, she bounded out of the room, Arlo at her heels. In a matter of seconds the pair would be ensconced on the old sofa in the den, the phone glued to Jenna‘s ear as she chatted with Denise, no doubt informing her friend of the exciting turn of events.
Marni entered the bathroom and filled the sink with cold water. The wonder of youth, she thought while splashing the icy water on her face. If only she could share the same resilience as her daughter. But Marni was a realist and knew she had no choice but to face her problem with Cole. For a fleeting moment she thought of packing Jenna up in the car and driving away, destination unknown. When they found a place they liked, they could stop. Marni could wait tables if she had to, just to keep Jenna with her. But life wasn‘t quite so simple.
She drained the water out of the sink and flipped off the light. Walking over to the night table, she opened the drawer and sat down on the floral bedspread. Marni reached beneath an array of silk scarves until she found what she was looking for.
The cheap gold frame was cracked and peeled and nearly as old as the photographs behind the protective glass. Marni looked at the four small snapshots of herself and Cole. The pictures had been taken in a photo booth a few days before she‘d left for California. She ran her hand over the glass, outlining Cole‘s firm jaw, tracing her finger over his full lower lip. Precious memories of a short time in her life when she‘d been truly happy.
Regardless of her reasons for ending her relationship with Cole, no matter what her motivation for coming to California, Marni knew in her heart her adorable, precocious daughter was a product of the love she had once shared with Cole. A love that would now turn to hatred, since she, like Elizabeth, had denied him the choice of being a father.
* * *
COLE GLANCED AT THE CLOCK on the VCR and downed the remains of the whiskey, the soda he‘d opened earlier neglected in favor of something stronger. He tried Marni‘s number again only to receive the irritating buzz indicating the line was busy. She‘d taken the phone off the hook.
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