Her Real Family Christmas
Kate Hardy
Dr Stephanie Scott’s smile can light up a room and she certainly catches the eye of single dad and obstetric surgeon Daniel Conner! But getting close to him and his little girl isn’t an option for recently divorced and heartbroken Stephanie. She's long since felt she'll never fit into a family.But spending time with Daniel and his cute daughter Mia, opens Stephanie’s eyes to the possibility that her longed for wish – a family of her very own – might just come true this Christmas…
Praise for Kate Hardy (#u88177437-9d2c-54fc-8e54-2eb2f1d197ef):
‘A spellbinding tale about moving forward,
new beginnings and the redeeming power of love by an extraordinary writer whose books
I just cannot get enough of!’
—Cataromance.com on THE SPANISH DOCTOR’S LOVE-CHILD
‘A spellbinding novel which you will want to devour in a single sitting.’
—Cataromance.com on A CHRISTMAS NIGHT
Mia was thrilled to help choose not only the tree but the decorations, too. They spent half the afternoon putting the decorations on the tree, and Stephanie lifted her up so she could put the angel on the very top.
‘You’ve done a fantastic job. Thank you so much,’ Stephanie said, and kissed the tip of Mia’s nose.
Mia stared at her, then put her arms round Stephanie’s neck. ‘You kissed me.’
‘Is that OK?’ Had she gone too far?
Mia nodded. ‘But you only kiss people you love.’
‘Ye-es.’
‘I love you,’ Mia said, and kissed the end of Stephanie’s nose.
Stephanie had a huge lump in her throat as she whispered, ‘I love you, too.’
The little girl fell asleep on the sofa not long afterwards, clearly tired out. Stephanie gently put a blanket over her.
‘I ought to get her home,’ Daniel said.
Stephanie shook her head. ‘Don’t wake her just yet, Dan.’ She paused. ‘Well, now I have a tree, I really ought to have a Christmas party.’
‘The three of us?’ he asked.
‘I was thinking… is it too late to ask your family over for Christmas Eve?’
‘That’s a great idea,’ Dan said. ‘Call them.’
‘What, now?’
He smiled. ‘Yes, now.’
Dear Reader
I rather like stories where the hero and heroine teach each other to trust again and/or love again.
My heroine doesn’t think she’ll ever fit into a family because she’s never had one—except in-laws who didn’t ever accept her for who she was. This is where my hero and his daughter come in. They need to learn to love again and open their hearts—which is what she does for them.
This idea actually started last year, when I got my twice-yearly cold. It always turns into a horrible croupy cough, nobody in the house gets any sleep for about a week, and I can’t nag about homework because I lose my voice (that bit is popular and almost makes up for the lack of sleep). I was having a bit of a pity party on Facebook about it when one of my readers e-mailed me and suggested I got checked out for reactive airways. I looked up the condition (which I don’t have, by the way—I’m just prone to croup), and thought it would be a great way for my hero and heroine to meet… (A special thank you to Pat Amsden for the lightbulb moment.)
I also love writing about Christmas. The season’s one of my favourites, with its chance to spend some real quality time with my family. (And I admit I love all the sparkling lights and the special ornaments on the tree. And now my littlest is old enough she helps me find the perfect presents for her dad’s and brother’s stockings.) When my children were really small, one of our favourite Christmas traditions was taking them to see Santa. So I couldn’t resist getting my hero and heroine to take his daughter to see Santa—and that, of course, led to finding out what she really, really wanted for Christmas…
Oh, and then there are the scallops. My daughter and I discovered them while I was writing the book, played around with different ways of cooking them, and thought it should be this book’s recipe :) Enjoy!
I’m always delighted to hear from readers, so do come and visit me at www.katehardy.com
With love
Kate Hardy
Her Real
Family
Christmas
Kate Hardy
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
KATE HARDY lives in Norwich, in the east of England, with her husband, two young children, one bouncy spaniel, and too many books to count! When she’s not busy writing romance or researching local history she helps out at her children’s schools. She also loves cooking—spot the recipes sneaked into her books! (They’re also on her website, along with extracts and stories behind the books.) Writing for Mills & Boon
has been a dream come true for Kate—something she wanted to do ever since she was twelve. She’s been writing Medical Romances
for over ten years now and also writes for Mills & Boon
Romance. She says it’s the best of both worlds, because she gets to learn lots of new things when she’s researching the background to a book: add a touch of passion, drama and danger, a new gorgeous hero every time, and it’s the perfect job!
Kate’s always delighted to hear from readers, so do drop in to her website at www.katehardy.com
To Pat Amsden, with thanks for the lightbulb moment.
Table of Contents
Cover (#u7fdee20d-603b-52a2-9515-475ef56abe7d)
Praise for Kate Hardy
Excerpt (#ub8927743-e0ee-5377-b4dc-99b573d08050)
Dear Reader (#ua32868a5-fcb9-5bd6-97a8-770671f582fb)
Title Page (#udf353456-f2f1-58c2-a1ed-63bc6dc1f030)
About the Author (#ue2fd41b0-dd87-502c-a528-87464f0c0e9d)
Dedication (#uf37282c0-c947-56a5-9b94-cdbc5c8206d7)
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#u88177437-9d2c-54fc-8e54-2eb2f1d197ef)
‘IT’S ALL RIGHT, darling.’ Daniel stroked his daughter’s hair, and hoped that the panic seeping through his veins didn’t show in his voice. ‘Don’t try to talk. Just breathe. In for two, out for two. Good girl. And again. In for two, out for two.’
How could Mia have got so much worse in one short hour?
The old trick of a steamy bathroom helping to calm a child’s airways wasn’t working. She couldn’t stop coughing; and it was a horrible, barking, croupy cough. He’d just bet that if she were wired up to a pulse oximeter, her oxygen stats would be way too low.
He had to act. Now. He needed to take her to hospital.
Should he call an ambulance? No, it’d scare her too much. And in any case he could drive her there quicker than an ambulance could get to his house and back to the hospital.
Except that meant Mia would be on her own in the back of the car, in her seat, with nobody to hold her hand and calm her down. Sure, he could call his mum or his sister and they’d come straight over to help—but that would mean waiting for them to get to his house. And right now he didn’t think waiting was an option.
Not for the first time, Daniel wished he wasn’t a single dad. If that stupid, selfish elderly driver who’d mown down his wife on the footpath hadn’t been so stubborn and had taken a taxi that day, instead of driving a car she really hadn’t been capable of handling any more.
But wishing wasn’t going to bring Meg back. It was pointless and self-indulgent, and he was only letting himself wish it now because he was panicking that he’d let his daughter down. Panicking that he’d lose his precious girl because he hadn’t kept a close enough eye on her and realised how bad her symptoms were getting.
What kind of useless father was he?
What kind of useless doctor was he?
He scooped Mia up into his arms. ‘I think,’ he said softly, ‘we need to get you some special medicine for that cough. And we don’t have any indoors. So I need to take you to where I work, OK?’
Mia nodded, her brown eyes huge. So like Meg’s. Guilt spiked through him; right now he was letting Meg down as well as Mia.
‘Good girl. Let’s go.’ Daniel grabbed a blanket from her room on the way, along with her favourite teddy, and closed the front door behind him. ‘Daddy’s going to be driving so I can’t hold your hand, but Fred Bear’s going to give you a special cuddle for me so you don’t feel lonely, OK?’ He strapped her into her car seat, put Fred Bear into her arms, and arranged the blanket quickly so she wouldn’t get cold.
He talked to her all the way to the hospital. All the way from scooping her out of her car seat until they got to the reception of the emergency department. And, all the way, the only thing that he could hear from her was that dreadful deep cough.
To his relief, the triage nurse saw them immediately, and sent her straight through to the paediatric assessment unit.
The doctor on duty wasn’t one he knew, but that didn’t matter—just as long as she treated his daughter right now.
‘Hello, Mia. I’m Dr Stephanie Scott,’ the doctor said, crouching down so she was at the child’s height.
Mia managed the first syllable of a reply before she started coughing.
‘It’s OK, sweetheart, you don’t have to talk,’ Stephanie said. ‘I can hear exactly what’s wrong with you. What I’m going to do now is put a special mask on your face, which will help you breathe a bit better and not cough quite so much, and I’d also like to put a special sleeve on your finger. It won’t hurt. It just shines a light through your finger and tells me some numbers that will help me to make you feel better. Is that OK?’
The little girl nodded.
Daniel knew what Stephanie Scott was checking for when she put the oximeter on Mia’s finger: pulse and oxygen saturation. Good. Just what he would do.
Stephanie looked at the readings and smiled at the little girl. ‘That’s what I thought it would say. Mia, I’m going to give you some special medicine through another mask that will really help with that cough, and then I need to talk to Daddy for a little bit because I think he’s going to find it easier to talk to me than you are, right now. Is that OK with you?’
At the little girl’s nod, she glanced over at Daniel. ‘I’m going to give her a medicine called adrenalin—it will help a lot with her breathing. And I’m going to do it through a nebuliser so all she has to do is breathe it in. It looks a lot scarier than it is, but she’s going to be absolutely fine, OK?’
‘OK.’ Daniel was holding it together. Just. But he found himself relaxing as he watched her work. Stephanie Scott clearly knew what she was doing and she was really good with Mia, talking her through what she was doing as she hooked the little girl up to the nebuliser, and reassuring her all the while. And that smile—she had the kind of smile that lit up a room.
Daniel caught his thoughts and grimaced. What on earth was he doing, thinking about that sort of thing when his daughter was desperately ill? Especially when he hadn’t been involved with anyone since Meg’s death, four years ago, and had concentrated on his daughter and his job rather than his social life? Hot shame flooded through his cheeks, mingled with guilt. Right at that moment, he was at the end of his tether and his head felt as if it was going to implode under all the pressure.
‘Mr Connor?’ Stephanie asked.
He shook himself. ‘I’m so sorry. I didn’t catch what you said.’
‘I was asking if Mia has any family history of asthma or any kind of allergies.’
‘No, none.’
‘Does Mia wheeze at all or say her chest feels tight or hurts?’
‘No.’
‘OK. Do you ever notice that Mia’s a bit short of breath or her nostrils flare?’
Daniel realised swiftly that Stephanie was running through a list of asthma symptoms. ‘No. Is that what you think it is? Asthma?’
‘It’s quite a strong possibility,’ she said.
He shook his head. ‘Mia just has a cold. They always go to her chest and she ends up with a bad cough—she had bronchiolitis when she was tiny and she was in here for a week on oxygen.’
Stephanie nodded. ‘Colds are often worse for little ones after they’ve had RSV. And I guess seeing her here on oxygen is reminding you of that? It’s tough.’
‘Yes,’ he admitted. It brought back all the nights when he and Meg had taken turns to sit at their tiny baby’s bedside, feeding her through a nasogastric tube because the virus had left Mia too exhausted to drink normally. ‘I guess I panicked a bit.’
‘No, you did exactly the right thing, bringing her in,’ Stephanie reassured him. ‘She wasn’t getting as much oxygen as I’d like, so the medication’s going to help a lot. Though I’d also like to admit her overnight and keep an eye on her. So she’s had a cold recently?’
‘For three or four days. And yesterday it went to that croupy cough.’ He sighed. ‘Usually a steamy bathroom helps. I get her to drink warm blackcurrant or something like that, and keep her sitting upright on my lap.’
‘Which are all exactly the right things to do to treat a cough,’ Stephanie said. ‘Colds are viral infections, Mr Connor, so antibiotics won’t do anything to help and I won’t prescribe them, but liquid paracetamol will help to keep Mia’s temperature down.’
Daniel thought about telling Stephanie that he was a doctor and he was well aware of the problems with antibiotic resistance, but that wouldn’t help Mia—and his daughter was a lot more important than his professional pride. ‘I last gave her some of that about four hours ago, so she’s due some more now anyway,’ he said. ‘The steamy bathroom didn’t work this time.’
‘Does she get many coughs like this?’
‘Too many,’ he admitted. ‘She hates having time off school when this happens, but she gets so tired and the cough just won’t stop.’
Stephanie looked thoughtful. ‘Has your family doctor prescribed corticosteroids for her?’
‘No.’
‘It’s usually a treatment for asthma, but it’s also very good for reducing inflammation in airways when children have this sort of virus. And I should explain that corticosteroids are the same kind of steroids that the body produces naturally, not the sort you associate with bodybuilders.’
Yes, it was way, way too late now to tell Stephanie Scott that he was a doctor; it would just embarrass them both. But Daniel liked the clear way she explained things. It was a pity she was on the emergency department team, as he had a feeling that she’d be good with neonates. Unless she was a locum, maybe? He’d check that when he was back on duty and, if she was a locum, he’d get Theo to add Stephanie to their list. She’d be a real asset to their team.
Mia’s breathing started to ease as the medication did its job. Stephanie glanced at the readout on the oximeter. ‘I’m happier now. She’s responding nicely. Mia, I’d like you to stay here tonight just so we can make sure that cough’s getting better or give you more of the special medicine if it doesn’t. Daddy can stay with you if he wants to—’ she looked at him ‘—or maybe Mia’s mum might like to stay with her?’
Daniel was pretty sure that Mia’s mum would be there in spirit; but, oh, how he wished she could be there in body, too. He’d had four years now of being a single parent, and it didn’t get any easier. Missing Meg hadn’t got much easier, either. Though, between them, Mia and his work kept him too busy to focus on how lonely he felt. He had to swallow the sudden lump in his throat. ‘I’ll stay with her,’ he said gruffly.
Stephanie took him up to the children’s ward, settled Mia in and made sure that Daniel was comfortable, then sorted out the paperwork. ‘I’ll see you both tomorrow before the end of my shift,’ she said. ‘If you need anything, just go and have a word with the nurse. If it’s an emergency, then you press that button there and someone will be straight with you.’
He already knew all that. But he appreciated the way she was looking after them and it would be churlish to say anything. ‘Thank you.’
‘No worries.’ She squeezed Mia’s hand. ‘You try to get some rest, sweetheart, OK?’
The little girl nodded tiredly.
‘I’ll see you later.’
Stephanie was almost tempted to call in and see the Connors on her break. Mia’s father had looked so tired and worried. And it was unusual for a dad to be at the hospital with a child on his own; in her experience, mothers usually took over when a child was ill. Unless maybe Mia’s mum wasn’t well herself, or had been working a night shift. Or, given the way Mr Connor had flinched when she’d mentioned Mia’s mum, maybe he was a single dad and he was worried about the fact his daughter had become ill so quickly when he was looking after her.
No. She needed to keep some professional distance. Besides, she knew better than to get involved—especially given the way her world had imploded the last time she’d got involved with someone else’s medical problems. It had put her marriage on its final crash-and-burn trajectory; although it had been four years now since the divorce, it still hurt to think about the way things had gone so badly wrong. The way all her dreams had blown up in her face. The way she’d managed to lose a second family. And all because she’d put her job first.
Now her job was all she had. And that had to be enough.
She shook herself. Enough of the self-pity. She needed to concentrate on what she was supposed to be doing: working the night shift on the paediatric assessment unit. Though her shift was reasonably quiet, and that gave her time to research her hunch on Mia Connor’s condition.
When she’d done the handover at the end of her shift, she called up to the children’s ward to see how Mia was getting on.
Mia’s dad looked as if he’d barely slept and, although Mia was sleeping, the little girl was still coughing in her sleep.
‘Hi,’ he said, giving Stephanie a tired smile.
‘Rough night?’ she asked sympathetically.
He nodded. ‘But I’m glad I could be here for her.’
‘I’ve been thinking about Mia. Given that you don’t have a family history of asthma, I think she has reactive airways. Whenever anyone gets a cold, their airways tend to get a bit swollen, but if someone has reactive airways their systems really overreact.’ She drew a swift diagram on a piece of paper.
‘Basically, these are Mia’s lungs. They work a bit like a tree, with her windpipe as the trunk and the smaller airways like branches. The airways are covered in muscle—a bit like the bark of a tree—and inside they have mucous membranes, which produce mucus to keep the lungs clean. When she gets a cold, her muscles tighten and the mucous membranes swell and produce more mucus than usual. That makes her airways narrow, which in turn makes it harder for her to breathe.’
She glanced at him to check that he was following what she’d said; it was the clearest way she could explain things, but he obviously hadn’t slept much overnight in the chair next to his daughter’s bed and she wasn’t sure how much of this he was taking in.
‘Reactive airways.’ He looked thoughtful. ‘So can you give her something for it?’
‘Yes. Corticosteroids, an inhaler and a nebuliser. I’ll write the prescription, but as Mia’s asleep at the moment I don’t want to wake her. One of my colleagues will show you how to use them when she does wake. The corticosteroids will stop the swelling in her throat, so if you get her to use the inhaler and nebuliser as soon as you spot the symptoms, hopefully she won’t end up with that really croupy cough next time.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Though there are sometimes side effects,’ Stephanie warned. ‘She might have a headache or an upset tummy, or be sick. If that’s the case, your family doctor can review the treatment and prescribe a slightly different medication, but this one should do the trick.’
‘I appreciate that.’ He raked a hand through his hair. ‘And thank you for being so reassuring last night. You were really good with Mia.’
His praise warmed her—and that was dangerous. She never let herself react like this to anyone. She was good at her job and she did what needed to be done; but she didn’t allow anyone too close, patient or colleague. She’d learned after Joe that she was better off on her own. Nobody to get her hopes up, and nobody to let her down.
She shrugged off his praise and gave him a small smile. ‘No worries. It’s what I’m supposed to do.’ She wrote on Mia’s chart. ‘Do you have any questions, or is there anything you’re not clear about with her condition and the treatment?’
‘No, it’s all fine. Thanks.’
‘OK. Well, good luck.’ She shook his hand, and left the department.
Four days later, Stephanie was called in to the maternity department to check over a baby after an emergency Caesarean section.
The obstetric surgeon was still in the middle of the operation, so Stephanie introduced herself to the midwife and the registrar and waited for the baby to be delivered.
‘So what’s the history?’ she asked.
‘The mum had pre-eclampsia—it came on really suddenly,’ the midwife explained. ‘She was fine at her last check-up; her blood pressure was a bit high, but she’d been rushing around all day. And then today she started feeling really rough, had a headache she couldn’t shift and swollen ankles. Her community midwife sent her in to us, and her blood pressure had spiked and there was protein in her urine. Daniel wasn’t happy with the baby’s heartbeat and so he brought her straight up here.’
Daniel, Stephanie presumed, was the surgeon. She knew that the only cure for pre-eclampsia was to deliver the baby. ‘How many weeks is she?’ she asked.
‘Thirty-six.’
So there was a good chance that the baby’s lungs had matured enough, though the baby might still need little bit of help breathing and some oxygen treatment after the birth.
‘Is there anything else I need to know?’ she asked.
‘That’s the only complication,’ the midwife said.
Though, as complications went, that one was more than enough; Stephanie was aware of all the potential problems for the baby, from low blood sugar through to patent ductus arteriosis, a problem where the blood vessel that allowed the blood to go through a baby’s lungs before birth didn’t close properly and caused abnormal blood flow in the heart. She’d just have to hope that the baby didn’t have a really rough ride.
Once the baby was delivered and the cord was cut, Stephanie quickly checked him over. His heart rate and breathing were both a little on the low side, and his hands and feet were slightly bluish, but to her relief his muscle tone was good and he grimaced and cried. And he was a good weight, too; that would help him cope better.
She wrapped him in a clean cloth and brought him over to his mother.
‘I think you deserve a cuddle after all that hard work,’ she said. ‘He’s a beautiful boy. Now, I do want to take him up to the special care unit for a little while, because he needs a little bit of help breathing—but that’s because he’s a bit early and it’s really common, so please don’t start worrying that anything’s desperately wrong. You’ll be able to see him in the unit any time you like, and I’ll be around if you have any questions.’
‘Thank you,’ the mum whispered.
By the time Stephanie had sorted out the baby’s admission to the special care unit, the surgeon had finished sewing up the mum and she’d been wheeled off to the recovery room.
The surgeon came over to her, removing his mask. ‘Sorry I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself earlier. I’m Daniel—’
‘Mr Connor,’ she said as she looked up And recognised him.
He was the last person she’d expected to be here. And to think she’d been so careful to explain his daughter’s condition. What an idiot she’d made of herself. As a doctor, of course he would’ve known the biology—especially as he was clearly senior to her, being a surgeon.
She shook herself and switched into professional mode. ‘How’s your little girl?’
‘She’s fine, thanks.’ He blew out a breath. ‘I feel a bit ashamed of myself now for panicking as much as I did. And I’m sorry. I really should’ve told you I was a doctor.’
So he felt as awkward as she did? Maybe this was salvageable, then. Which was good, because the chances were that they’d have to work together in the future. She wanted to keep all her work relationships as smooth as possible. ‘It’s not a problem. I think any parent panics when their child can’t breathe properly, and it’s probably worse when you’re a doctor because you know all the potential complications—it’s scary stuff.’ She gave him a rueful smile. ‘But I am sorry for drawing you that diagram. It was pretty much teaching you to suck eggs.’
He laughed. ‘Don’t apologise. It was a great analogy, and I needed to hear it right then. Actually, I’m glad you’re on the paediatrics team. I wondered at the time if you were a locum.’
‘No, I was rostered on the paediatric assessment unit. Rhys Morgan had it moved to the emergency department at about the same time that I joined the team.’ She looked at him, surprised. ‘Why are you pleased I’m in paediatrics?’
‘Because, if you were a locum, I was going to ask Theo Petrakis—my boss—to put you on the list for Neonatal. You’re good with panicky parents,’ he said simply, ‘and I can say that from first-hand experience.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Perhaps I can buy you a coffee later today?’ he said.
Coffee? Was he asking her as colleague, or as a grateful parent, or as a potential date? Stephanie couldn’t quite read the signals and it filled her with panic. Especially as she didn’t know what his situation was. No way did she want to get in the slightest bit involved with a colleague who wasn’t free.
Actually, she didn’t want to get involved, full stop. Once bitten, definitely twice shy. It was safest to keep people pigeonholed as patients or colleagues, the way she’d done ever since her divorce. ‘There’s no need, really. I was just doing my job.’ Flustered, she added, ‘I’d better get back to my department.’
‘Sure. Nice to see you again, Stephanie,’ he said.
‘You, too,’ she said, and fled before she made even more of an idiot of herself.
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_5a891ee3-e4fb-5716-8eb4-5d684bc8c5c4)
‘STEPHANIE? YOU’VE GOT visitors,’ Lynne, one of the senior paediatric nurses, said. ‘They’re waiting at the nurses’ station for you.’
Visitors? Stephanie wasn’t expecting anyone. Everyone she knew in London either worked with her or lived in the same block of flats. And Joe definitely wouldn’t have come down to London to see her, to check she’d settled in OK to her new job and her new life. After the wreck of their marriage, they couldn’t even be friends.
She’d walked out on him because she’d seen the blame in his eyes and his contempt for her every time he’d looked at her, and she just hadn’t been able to live with it. That, and the knowledge that he was right about her. That she was a selfish woman who wouldn’t know how to put a family first because she was useless at being part of a family.
Well, hey. Now wasn’t the time for a pity party.
She saved the file, then headed out to the nurses’ station. As she drew nearer, she recognised Daniel Connor and his daughter waiting there.
‘Hello, Dr Scott,’ Mia said shyly, and handed her a hand-drawn card and a paper plate covered with cling film. ‘I made these for you and the nurses to say thank you for looking after me.’
Cupcakes, painstakingly decorated with buttercream and sprinkles.
Gifts from patients weren’t encouraged, but a home-made card and cupcakes from a little girl were definitely acceptable. Especially as Stephanie could see that these were meant to be shared with the other staff who’d helped to look after her.
Stephanie crouched down so she was nearer Mia’s level. ‘Thank you very much, Mia. The card’s beautiful and the cakes look lovely. Did your mummy help you make them?’
‘No, Nanna Parker helped me.’ There was just the tiniest wobble of her bottom lip. ‘My mummy’s in heaven.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Stephanie said softly. She’d hurt the little girl with her assumption, and she’d misjudged Daniel. He’d clearly been through the mill. She wasn’t going to ask whether he’d lost his wife to illness or accident; either way would still have left a gaping hole in his and Mia’s lives.
And now she understood exactly why he’d flinched when she’d asked if Mia’s mum wanted to stay overnight with the little girl. It explained why he’d been so frantic about his daughter’s deteriorating health, too; clearly Mia was all Daniel had left of her mother. Her heart bled for them. It would be bad enough losing someone you loved; how much worse would it be, losing someone who loved you back?
‘I’ve still got Daddy,’ Mia said, almost as if reading her mind and reminding her that life had light as well as shade.
Stephanie nodded, and looked up at Daniel. ‘Sorry,’ she mouthed.
He made a brief hand gesture to tell her it was OK, but she knew it wasn’t. Yet again she’d messed up when it came to dealing with other people. Dealing with patients and colleagues, she could do; other kinds of personal interactions were much, much trickier. Which was why she usually managed to avoid them. Especially since the way she’d messed up with Joe and his family.
‘I’d better get this young lady home,’ Daniel said, as if he knew how awkward she felt and had taken pity on her.
She nodded. ‘Well, thank you very much for coming in to see me, Mia. It’s lovely to see that you’re so much better. I’ll put your card up on our special board, so everyone can see it, and we’ll all really enjoy these cakes.’
‘Good. I put extra sprinkles on yours,’ the little girl said, pointing out one that was extra pink and sparkly.
‘It looks gorgeous. Thank you.’
Stephanie waved her goodbye and shared out the cakes with the rest of the team on duty. But that evening, as she ate her cupcake, it struck her how a stranger could be so much kinder than family. And it made her feel really alone. She didn’t have a family at all now, not even the in-laws who’d barely accepted her in the first place but had been the nearest she’d had to a real family. And the previous month she’d moved from Manchester to London, so she didn’t have any really close friends nearby either.
She shook herself. Enough whining. Things were just fine. There was no problem at work; she’d fitted in easily to her new role and already felt part of the team. Though she knew that was probably thanks to growing up in an institution; it meant that she knew exactly how to fit in to an institution, whether it was school or university or the hospital. Whereas, when it came to family…
OK, so Joe’s family had refused to accept where she’d come from and had always treated her as an outsider; but at the same time Stephanie knew she had to accept the lion’s share of the blame for the wreckage of her marriage. She hadn’t exactly made it easy for Joe’s parents and sister, either. Not being familiar with a family dynamic, Stephanie simply didn’t know how to react in a family. She’d never been quite sure what had been teasing and what hadn’t; so she’d never really joined in, not wanting to get it wrong and hurt someone.
Was it any wonder they’d tended to leave her on the sidelines? And of course Joe would take their part over hers. They were his family and, despite the promises she and Joe had made in a packed church, she wasn’t.
And now she was being really maudlin and pathetic. ‘Stop feeling so sorry for yourself, Stephanie Scott,’ she told herself fiercely. Her new life was just fine. She liked her colleagues, she liked her flat and she liked the hospital. She had a great career in the making. And she was not going to let a cupcake throw her. Even if it had been made with extra sparkles.
Everything was fine until the inter-departmental quiz evening on Friday night. Almost as soon as Stephanie walked into the pub and was hailed by her team, she noticed who was sitting on the maternity department’s table.
Daniel Connor.
And the prickle of awareness shocked her. She wasn’t used to noticing men on anything other than a patient-or-colleague basis. She hadn’t been attracted to anyone since her break-up with Joe. And Daniel Connor definitely wasn’t the kind of man she could let herself get attracted to. He came with complications. With baggage. A family. The thing she’d wanted all her life, but had learned the hard way that it just wasn’t for her.
So she damped down that prickle of awareness, ramped up her smile, and threw herself into full colleague mode as she headed for the paediatric department’s table.
Katrina Morgan patted the chair next to hers. ‘I saved you a seat, Stephanie.’
‘Thank you.’ Stephanie smiled at her and slid into the seat.
‘Did you do this sort of thing where you were before?’ Katrina asked.
‘In Manchester? Not as often as I’d have liked to,’ Stephanie admitted. ‘Our team nights out tended to involved Chinese food, ten-pin bowling, or going to a gig.’
‘It’s pretty much like that here too,’ Katrina said, ‘though there’s the annual charity ball. My cousin helps organise that and it’s the highlight of the hospital social calendar. It’s a shame you’ll have to wait until next year’s now.’
‘It’s something to look forward to,’ Stephanie said. Being positive. The way she’d always taught herself to be, even in those dark days before she’d walked out on her marriage. Smile with the world, and they’ll all smile with you. Most of the time, anyway.
She accepted the glass of wine that Rhys Morgan offered her and thoroughly enjoyed taking part in the quiz; she’d always enjoyed trivia games. Each round, the team with the lowest score was knocked out; and the last round saw the paediatrics team going head to head with the maternity ward’s team.
And the subject was history. The one subject that had almost tempted Stephanie away from doing a medical degree.
‘How do you know all this stuff?’ Katrina asked when Stephanie scribbled down their answers, naming Henry VIII’s fourth wife and what happened to her.
‘We learned a rhyme at school,’ Stephanie said with a smile. ‘I liked history. But I’m glad there are others in our team who know about sport. I’m hopeless when it comes to sport, and I would’ve lost the quiz for us.’
‘You were good on literature, too,’ Katrina said. ‘And general knowledge.’
‘Well, I read a lot.’ Stephanie shrugged off the praise, but inwardly she was pleased. Here, at the London Victoria, she fitted in. And life was going to be just fine.
The question papers were finally marked by the emergency department’s team. ‘And the winner—by a clear ten points—is the paediatric team,’ Max Fenton announced. ‘Well done. You get the tin of biscuits this month. But don’t think you’re going to make it two in a row, Morgan,’ he informed the paediatrics consultant. ‘We’re still in the lead overall.’
‘By all of two quizzes. Don’t count your chickens.’ Rhys laughed. ‘We have a secret weapon now.’
‘Who could just as well be on our team,’ Max said, ‘given that the PAU has such a crossover with the emergency department.’
‘Hands off. She’s ours,’ Rhys said.
Stephanie was pretty sure that it was just friendly bickering, but even so she judged it politic to disappear to the toilet until any ruffled feathers had been smoothed over.
On the way back, she discovered that all the teams had merged and groups of people were sitting at different tables. Not quite sure which one to join, she paused and scanned the room.
‘Hey, Stephanie.’
Relieved at not being totally deserted, she turned towards the voice.
Daniel Connor.
He smiled at her. ‘Seeing as you wiped the floor with us, will you let me buy you a celebratory drink?’
Did he mean as a colleague?
If she could pigeonhole him just as a friend and colleague, and ignore the way her heart seemed to do a backflip every time he smiled, it would be fine. OK, so she knew he was single, which meant there was no reason why he shouldn’t ask her to have a drink with him as more than just a friendly gesture from a colleague; but she was pretty sure that he had as much emotional baggage as she did. She had no idea how long ago he’d lost his wife, and she wouldn’t dream of asking, but for all she knew he could still be healing. Just as she was. Neither of them needed any complications.
‘Stephanie?’ he prompted.
She had to answer now. ‘A drink from a colleague would be lovely.’ Just to make the terms clear. ‘Thank you.’
‘What would you like?’
‘Sparkling water, please.’
‘I’ll just go and get our drinks. Have a seat.’
She noticed that he, too, was drinking mineral water when he returned with their glasses. Because he was on call, so he needed to keep a clear head in case of an emergency? Or because he was a single parent, and couldn’t afford the luxury of a couple of glasses of wine, in case his daughter woke and needed him in the night?
Not that it was any of her business.
‘So how come your general knowledge is so amazing?’ Daniel asked.
She smiled. ‘Misspent youth.’ Which he could interpret how he liked. She wasn’t going to tell him that it was from growing up with her nose in a book to keep the outside world at a safe distance. She’d read and read and read, and absorbed everything.
‘I’m impressed. And I’m trying to work out how I can annex you for our team, next time round.’
This time, she laughed. ‘Sorry. Max Fenton’s already suggested that to Rhys and got short shrift.’
‘I’m not Max.’ He tapped his nose and grinned.
‘I still don’t rate your chances.’ She turned her glass round in her hands. ‘I meant to say, I’m sorry about your wife. It must be hard for you.’
‘Yeah, it was very hard when she was killed.’ He grimaced. ‘I might as well tell You now and get the pity party out of the way.’
Oh, no. She hadn’t been fishing. ‘You really don’t have to say anything,’ she backtracked hastily. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be nosey.’
‘It’s natural to wonder. And I’d rather you heard it from me than from anyone else.’ He looked sad. ‘It was a freak accident, four years ago. Mia was only two at the time. An elderly driver panicked when she was parking her car and she hit the accelerator instead of the brake. She ended up driving over the pavement and mowing Meg down. We were lucky that Mia wasn’t killed, too—Meg had the presence of mind to shove the pushchair out of the way when she realised the car wasn’t going to stop.’
Stephanie stared at him, shocked. ‘I’m so sorry. What an awful thing to happen.’
‘Not just for me. Meg’s family lost their daughter, Mia lost her mum, my family lost Meg… and the old lady who killed her probably still has nightmares about it. She was in bits at the inquest—but it was an accident. It’s not as if she meant to run Meg over like that.’ He shrugged.
‘Sometimes I wonder what would’ve happened if she’d given up driving when her family asked her to, instead of being stubborn and insisting that she could still do it and they were trying to take away her independence. Meg would probably still be alive. Mia might have a brother or sister. We’d probably have a dog.’ He blew out a breath. ‘But it’s pointless torturing myself over it because nothing I can do will ever make a difference. And I have a lot of good things in life. I have Mia and my family and Meg’s family.’
Yeah. He was definitely lucky there. Not that Stephanie intended to say that. It would be too crass.
‘And they all chip in to help with Mia.’ He smiled. ‘Mum does the school run for me in the mornings if I’m on an early shift. My sister, Lucy, happens to be a teacher at Mia’s school, so she’ll take Mia home if I’m on a late, provided she doesn’t have a meeting. If she’s got a meeting, then Meg’s mum picks Mia up and gives her dinner. I’m really lucky.’
‘And so is Mia, having So many people who really care about her.’
‘Absolutely.’ he smiled at her. ‘So what’s your story?’
The question threw her. ‘I… er… ’
‘Married, children?’ he asked.
Once, and almost, she thought. ‘No story.’ At least, not one she wanted to tell: a failed marriage; a failed surrogate pregnancy; and a failure at being part of a family.
‘In other words, back off and stop being nosey,’ he said.
She winced. ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to be that sharp. You weren’t being nosey. I’ve noticed that everyone’s very close here, at the London Victoria, and they look out for each other.’
‘And at your last hospital it was a bit more private?’
It was a let-out, and she took it gratefully. ‘Something like that. And there isn’t a story. I’m just a boring divorcée.’
Oh, there was a story, all right. Daniel recognised the barriers Stephanie was busy putting up; he’d spent enough of the last four years doing something similar. Keeping people at a little more of a distance, except for his family, and evading all the attempts by well-meaning friends and his mother to fix him up with a date to help him move on from the past. And if he pushed Stephanie too hard right now, he had a feeling she’d do exactly what he’d done in the past and make an excuse to leave early. It took courage to join in with inter-departmental events when you had a past to live down.
‘Message received and understood,’ he said easily.
Stephanie looked relieved that she didn’t have to explain any further, especially when Daniel steered the conversation back to more normal things—how long she’d been in the department, how she’d settled in and what the differences were between the London Victoria and her old hospital in Manchester.
‘I do hope you’re not trying to poach our new quiz star for the maternity team, Dan,’ Rhys Morgan said, coming to stand by their table.
‘If you are,’ Katrina said, ‘then I’ll be having a word with my cousin.’
‘Cousin?’ Stephanie looked at her. ‘You have family working in the maternity ward?’
‘Maddie Petrakis,’ Katrina confirmed. ‘She’s part time at the moment. You might have met Theo, her husband.’
‘My boss,’ Daniel said. ‘Who’s not here tonight, or you lot might’ve been buying us the celebratory drinks.’
‘In your dreams, Dan—you know the last round’s always between us and Max’s lot,’ Rhys said with a grin. ‘Actually, I’m seeing Theo on Monday about a cross departmental project. Stephanie, I want to talk to you about that, too.’
‘And you can talk to her on Monday, Rhys,’ Katrina cut in. ‘You’re both off duty right now.’
‘I know. And we have a babysitter to relieve,’ Rhys added. He kissed Katrina lingeringly. ‘I get the message. I’ll shut up. Let’s go home. See you later, Stephanie.’
‘See you on Monday,’ Stephanie said with a smile, then turned to Daniel. ‘You must have a babysitter to relieve, too.’
Well, of course she’d know that. She’d treated Mia. But Daniel was intrigued by the difference between the bright, confident doctor in the PAU and this slightly diffident woman who’d drawn such huge barriers round herself. At the same time, it worried him that she intrigued him. OK, so it had been four years since Meg had died, but he wasn’t ready to think about another relationship—not when he had Mia to put first—and he was pretty sure that Stephanie had emotional baggage, too. So it would be much more sensible to keep things to strictly colleagues.
Though he could still be kind to a new colleague.
‘My parents are babysitting,’ he confirmed. ‘But I can give you a lift home, if you like.’
‘No, you’re fine, but thanks for the offer. See you later,’ she said, and beat a hasty retreat. Just as he did, he thought wryly, when anyone tried to get too close to him.
Daniel filled Stephanie’s thoughts as she walked home. If she was honest with herself then, yes, she did find him attractive. She’d already warmed to his personality, and his smile and cornflower-blue eyes could make her heart skip a beat. Now she knew for sure that he was single, there were no barriers to her acting on that attraction.
Apart from the fact that he came with complications. Daniel was a widower who’d lost his wife in incredibly tragic circumstances. OK, so it had been four years ago now, but that didn’t mean he was in any way over what had happened, even though he was able to talk about it.
And he had a daughter. Mia seemed a very sweet child, but no doubt she missed having a mum; she was the odd one out at school. Stephanie could relate to that. Mia had lost her mum at the age of two, and Stephanie hadn’t been much older than that herself when her own mum had died. Though Mia still had her dad. Stephanie had had only herself to rely on.
And, more to the point, Daniel had a close family. In cluding in-laws.
Her own in-laws had never really been able to accept her; Daniel’s in-laws would no doubt find it hard to see him dating anyone else, feeling that she was trying to take their late daughter’s place, so they’d have extra reasons not to accept her on top of the ones that Joe’s family had had.
So it would be better to stick to being just colleagues. And she’d be sensible and keep a little bit of distance between herself and Daniel Connor in future.
CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_125339a2-c0e8-5a17-90d1-d30d88bd2462)
‘DR SCOTT. JUST the person I wanted to see.’ Rhys smiled at Stephanie. ‘I wanted a quick chat. Can you come into my office for a minute?’
‘Sure.’ This had to be the project Rhys had mentioned on Friday night after the quiz, she thought.
‘So how are you settling in?’ he asked, gesturing to her to take a seat.
‘Fine. Everyone’s been very welcoming. And I’m enjoying the work—it’s really good that we can work with the emergency department staff in the paediatric assessment unit.’
‘I’m glad. Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I’m working on another cross-departmental project to see how we can improve liaison between teams and give better patient care.’
‘Which sounds perfectly sensible to me,’ she said. ‘Having the PAU in the emergency department works well.’
‘And obviously we work closely with the maternity department.’
Where Daniel worked. Stephanie’s pulse leapt. Stupid. She forced herself to concentrate. This was work, and Daniel was purely a colleague. ‘Of course. We need to check the baby immediately after a complicated birth, and do the standard early postnatal checks, as well as following up any issues. Once the mum’s been signed off, then the baby would come to us if there’s a health problem.’
‘Exactly. I’d like you to be part of the team working with the maternity department. Apart from anything else, it means you’ll get to know a few more people a bit more quickly, too. Is that OK with you?’ Rhys asked.
‘That’s fine,’ she said with a smile. ‘Thanks for the opportunity.’
‘Good. I’ll give Theo a call, and whoever’s on his team can liaise with you.’
Stephanie was writing up her notes after a ward round when there was a knock on the open door of her office. She looked up to see Daniel.
Oh, help. Her stomach really wasn’t supposed to be filled with butterflies like this. Even if he did have the most amazing blue eyes and a smile that made the room feel as if it had just been lit up. He was her colleague—just her colleague—and she’d already told herself that enough times to know better. She knew that relationships didn’t work for her. How ridiculous was it to let herself react to him like this?
She took a deep breath and willed herself to calm down. ‘Hello, Dr Connor.’
‘Dan,’ he corrected her. ‘I can see you’re busy, but can I have a quick word? Maybe later, if you’re up to your eyes?’
‘Now’s fine. You know how it is with paperwork; it’s always going to be there. What can I do for you?’
‘I believe Rhys has talked to you about the team liaison project?’
‘Yes.’ Suddenly it all fell into place. ‘Does that mean you’re on the maternity team for the project?’
He nodded. ‘So it looks as if this one is down to you and me. Are you busy at lunchtime?’
Which was her let-out. She opened her mouth to say yes, but the wrong words came out. ‘If you call having a sandwich and going for a walk busy.’
‘How about we have a sandwich and a walk together?’ he suggested.
Oh, help. This was beginning to sound like a date. And she could feel the colour rising in her cheeks to betray her.
‘We can talk about the project and work out what we need to do.’ He wrinkled his nose. ‘I know it’s a bit of a cheek, asking you to give up your lunch break for work.’
Work. Of course it was just work. She seized the excuse gratefully. ‘No, it’s fine. Otherwise we’re going to have to fit in a meeting between patients—and one of us is bound to be needed in the middle of it.’
‘Or just before a shift starts or after it ends, and we might not be rostered on at the same time. I thought we’d both be more likely to be around at lunchtime,’ Daniel said.
‘Good idea. OK. I’ll see you at lunchtime, then.’
‘Great. I’ll call for you.’ He smiled and was gone, leaving her to her paperwork.
Odd how that smile made her feel warm inside.
Stupid, too. This was about work, and nothing but work. They were having lunch together simply because it was the easiest way to fit in a meeting. And her common sense had better come back, pronto.
For once, the ward was quiet, so Daniel was able to call for Stephanie as they’d agreed. They picked up a meal from the hospital canteen; he noticed that she chose a healthy chicken salad wrap, fruit and water. Clearly she was someone who looked after herself, rather than a lot of the medics he knew, who grabbed a chocolate bar for quick energy because they didn’t have time for a proper break and a proper meal. Then they walked out to the park opposite the hospital and found a seat.
‘So how was your morning?’ she asked.
She really did have an amazing smile, he thought. Crazily, although they were outside and it was already sunny, the whole park felt brighter when she smiled. ‘Fine. Yours?’
‘Fine. Well, full of paperwork,’ she said ruefully. ‘And I guess this is going to be more of the same.’
Daniel found it hard to concentrate on talking to her about the roles of their departments and where they could work together to give their patients better care. He wanted to reach over and touch her dark hair, see if it was as soft as it looked. Which was insane; he never normally acted this way towards anyone.
But Stephanie looked so cute, all serious and thoughtful as she made notes on her mobile phone while they discussed the ins and outs of their respective departments.
For a mad moment, he itched to lean over and touch his mouth to hers. Just once. Just to see what it felt like.
‘Dan?’ she asked.
‘Uh.’ He felt the betraying heat crawling into his face. ‘Sorry, I was multi-tasking. I should know better. I don’t have enough X chromosomes to do that sort of thing.’
She laughed and the seriousness in her face vanished. She really was pretty, Daniel thought. He liked the way her green eyes crinkled at the corners, even at the same time as it scared him. He didn’t notice things like this about women. He didn’t think of women in terms of anything other than family, colleagues or patients. This woman could be seriously dangerous to his peace of mind.
‘Don’t do yourself down,’ she said. ‘Or do you normally hang around with totally sexist women?’
He laughed back. ‘Would a bossy little sister count?’
Her smile faded then, and he wondered what he’d said to change her mood.
Not that he could ask. There were suddenly barriers a mile high round her, and she kept the rest of their conversation on a totally businesslike footing. By the time they’d finished their lunch, she had enough notes for the basis of a report. ‘I’ll type it up and email it over to you, so you can see if I’ve missed anything.’
‘Thanks, that’d be good.’
And he couldn’t get the easiness back between them when they walked back to the hospital. He had no idea what he’d said to upset her, but he’d definitely rattled her cage.
‘Daddy, Ellie in my class is going to be a bridesmaid,’ Mia said, when Daniel had finished reading her bedtime story that evening.
‘That’s nice, darling,’ he said.
‘She’s going to have a really pretty dress. A purple one.’
Where was his daughter going with this? he wondered.
‘I’d like to be a bridesmaid.’ Her brown eyes were earnest.
Daniel relaxed and ruffled her hair. ‘I’m sure you’d make a lovely bridesmaid. Maybe one day.’
‘Maybe Aunty Lucy will get married,’ Mia said.
Given that his sister was still recovering from the break-up of her first marriage, he wasn’t sure that’d happen any time soon. Not that it was a topic he wanted to discuss with a six-year-old. ‘Maybe.’
‘Ellie’s going to have a new mummy,’ Mia added thoughtfully. ‘Because her daddy’s getting married. That’s why she’s going to be a bridesmaid.’
Oh, help. Now he could see where she was really going with this.
‘And she’s not like Snow White’s nasty stepmother. She’s really nice. She taught Ellie how to draw cats.’ Mia bit her lip. ‘Ellie’s so lucky. She’s going to have two mummies.’
And Mia didn’t even have one.
Had he been selfish, avoiding everyone’s attempts to fix him up on a date? Should he have put his own feelings aside and tried to find someone who’d fit into their lives and be a mother to Mia? Guilt seeped through him.
‘Yes, she’s lucky,’ he said softly. ‘But you’re lucky, too. You have two nannas. And Aunty Lucy.’
‘Ye-es.’
But he knew that having two grandmothers and an aunt weren’t the same as having a mum. And now he felt really bad because he’d effectively stopped his daughter talking about her feelings. He could see that she was hurting.
‘Your mummy loved you very much,’ he said, stroking her hair. ‘And so do I.’
‘Love you, too, Daddy,’ Mia said.
‘Sleep tight, angel.’ OK, so he was being selfish again, backing away from the conversation—but he didn’t know what to say to her. How to make it right. Because this was something he couldn’t fix. ‘See you in the morning.’
‘Night-night, Daddy.’ Mia snuggled under her duvet after he’d kissed her goodnight.
Daniel thought about it for the rest of the evening.
He was still thinking about it, the next day. A mum for Mia.
Could he do this? Find her a mother? Replace Meg in his life as well as in hers?
After all, he had met someone. The first woman he’d been attracted to since Meg’s death. Though that in itself made him feel horribly guilty, as if he were betraying Meg’s memory. Mia had made it clear that she wanted a mother figure in her life; or was it just a phase? How would she feel if he started seeing someone? Would she feel as if she was missing out on time with him?
And then there was Stephanie herself. She’d been cagey about her past, and Daniel was pretty sure that someone had hurt her. Badly. Like him, she might have filled her life so she didn’t have space for a relationship. And, even if she did have space, would she want to get involved with someone who already had a child?
He brooded about it all the way home.
His sister was curled up on the sofa, reading, when he walked in; she looked up and frowned. ‘Tough day?’ she asked.
‘I’m fine,’ he lied.
‘Dan, I’ve known you long enough to see the signs. Come and sit down in the kitchen. I saved you some pasta. While it’s heating through, you can talk.’
‘Lucy, you’re being bossy.’ But he followed her into the kitchen and sat down at the table anyway.
‘I’m worried about you, Dan.’ She put the pasta in the microwave and sat down opposite him. ‘Tell me.’
‘I don’t know where to start.’ He sighed. ‘Mia was saying yesterday that one of her friends is getting a second mum.’
‘That would be Ellie.’ Lucy nodded. ‘Her new stepmum’s very nice.’
‘Mia, um, kind of hinted that she wants a mum.’
‘And that’s upset you?’
‘Thrown me.’ He grimaced. ‘Lucy, do you think it would be wrong of me to see someone?’
‘That depends. If you’re doing it just to give Mia a mum, then yes. That wouldn’t be fair to any of you.’ She paused. ‘But if you’ve met someone you want to see, that’s different. Mum and I have been saying for ages that you could do with some fun in your life. We all love Mia dearly, but it’s hard being a single parent, and the only things you ever do are if you go out somewhere with us or if it’s a team night at work.’
‘Which makes it sound as if I don’t have a social life.’
‘You don’t have a social life,’ she said gently.
He rubbed his jaw. ‘I feel guilty. It’s—well, it feels as if I’m betraying Meg.’
‘Rubbish,’ Lucy said roundly. ‘Think of it the other way round—if you’d been the one killed in the accident, would you have wanted Meg to be on her own for the rest of her life?’
‘I’m not on my own,’ he said. ‘I have Mia, I have you, I have Mum and Dad, and I have the Parkers.’
‘Having a daughter and a supportive family who love you,’ Lucy pointed out, ‘isn’t the same as dating someone. You’re still young, Dan. You’re only thirty-five, but you’re acting as if you’re an old man.’
He had no answer to that.
‘Would you have wanted Meg to stay on her own?’
He sighed. ‘No. I would’ve wanted her to find someone who’d love her as much as I did. Someone who’d treat Mia as his own and love her, too.’
‘Exactly. And Meg was my friend as well as my sister-in-law. I knew her well enough to know how she would’ve felt—and she would’ve felt the same as you do.’ She paused. ‘So have you met someone?’
He didn’t answer. Not that it made any difference.
‘Why don’t you ask her out?’ Lucy asked.
He gave her a speaking look. Wasn’t it obvious?
Lucy spread her hands. ‘What’s the worst that could happen?’ When he didn’t answer, she said it for him. ‘That she says no. And then it’s no different from the situation you’re in now, not going out with her. Ask her.’
He wrinkled his nose. ‘It might be a bit awkward at work.’
‘She works with you?’
‘Sort of,’ he hedged.
‘In the same department?’
He had to be honest. ‘No.’
‘Well, then. It won’t be awkward. You always put patients first and you’re professional. OK, it might be a little bit awkward at the first team night out afterwards, but it’ll soon smooth over.’ She leaned over and squeezed his hand. ‘You’re scared, aren’t you?’
Trust his sister to work that out. ‘It’s been a long time since I’ve dated. I have no idea what I’m doing.’ He dragged in a breath. ‘And it’s not fair to Mia. Or to this woman.’
‘Whoa, you’re really building bridges to trouble here. Look, there’s a world of difference between going out with someone and enjoying an evening in each other’s company, and asking the woman to marry you and become Mia’s stepmother.’
‘I guess.’
‘Mia doesn’t have to know anything about this, so she’s not going to get hurt. If it doesn’t work out between you and the mystery woman, then it doesn’t work out, but you’ve still had a couple of nice evenings out and had some fun, for a change. And if it does work out—well, you’ve already said Mia wants a mum.’
How easy she made it sound. ‘You make it sound so easy,’ he said lightly.
She laughed. ‘It sounds easy, but we both know it isn’t always. Don’t forget I made a pretty good mess of my own love life. Dan, you don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be yourself.’
‘Harvey was an idiot, you know.’ He’d never liked her ex.
‘And so was I, for choosing him, but I’ve forgiven myself for that.’
Daniel felt his eyes widen as he absorbed her words. ‘Lucy, are you seeing someone?’
‘I might be.’
He folded his arms and waited.
She gave in and groaned. ‘If you tell Mum, you’re toast. I don’t want her getting her hopes up, not until I know where this is going.’
He laughed. ‘OK, this is just between you and me. What’s he like and where did you meet him? Did Karen finally talk you into doing that online dating thing?’
‘No, he’s a parent at the school—not the parent of anyone I teach,’ she added swiftly. ‘I met him at a school governor meeting.’
So the man had a social conscience and was happy to do his bit for the community—unlike Harvey, who was the most selfish man Daniel had ever met. That was a good start. ‘You deserve someone nice—and you can tell him that your big brother—’
‘I’m telling him nothing of the kind,’ she cut in, ‘and, much as I love you, Dan, I don’t need you to fight my corner every second of the day. Just as you don’t need me there every second, fighting your corner.’ She softened her words with a smile. ‘But I’m glad we talked about this. Mum worries about you, and so do I. You need to do something for you, Dan. You’re more than just Mia’s dad and a busy doctor.’
He didn’t quite see how he could fit anything else into his life. But he smiled at his sister, knowing that she meant well. ‘The same goes for you. You’re more than just a brilliant teacher and aunt.’
She laughed. ‘I know. And I’m doing something about it. So maybe it’s time for you to do something about it, too. Ask her out, Dan. You’ll never know what she’d say unless you do.’
He thought about it for the next couple of days, and decided that maybe his sister was right. The next time he saw Stephanie, he’d ask her out.
But their shifts were clearly out of sync, because she didn’t attend any of the births where there were enough complications for the midwives to involve him and need a paediatrician on standby.
He made the decision when she emailed him the report. He emailed back.
Can we have a quick discussion? When’s good for you?
The reply came.
Lunch today or tomorrow, patients permitting?
Sure. I’ll ring down and see if you’re free.
He spent the rest of the morning doing the ward rounds, reassuring the nervous first-time mums and double-checking the obs for one of his mums with suspected pre-eclampsia before asking the midwives to step up the frequency and call him the minute anything changed. And then he called Stephanie’s extension.
‘Paediatrics, Stephanie Scott speaking,’ she said.
‘It’s Dan. Are OK for a lunch meeting about the project today?’ he asked.
‘Yes. I’ll meet you at the canteen. I think we’ll have to give the park a miss today.’
He glanced out of the window and realised that it was absolutely bucketing down outside. It looked more like November than September outside. Definitely not the right weather for lunch outdoors. ‘OK. See you there.’
Funny how his heart skipped a beat when he walked down the corridor and saw Stephanie waiting for him at the door to the canteen.
He kept himself in check and steered the conversation over lunch to her report and his suggested amendments, agreeing them with her point by point. And then, at the end, he looked at her. ‘Stephanie, before you rush back to the department, are you free any evening this week?’
She looked started. ‘Free?’
Oh, help. How was he going to ask her without it sounding sleazy or needy? It had been ten years since he’d last asked someone out. He was way out of practice in the dating game. Then he remembered what Lucy had said. Just be himself. The worst that could happen was that she’d say no.
‘I, um, thought might be nice to have dinner together. If you’re not busy,’ he added swiftly.
And he didn’t dare look at her. In case he saw disgust—or, worse, pity.
Would she say yes?
Or would she make a polite excuse and then be cool with him from here on after?
CHAPTER FOUR (#ulink_c43b6908-3a79-5e33-bd3c-928aca55d10d)
STEPHANIE COULDN’T QUITE believe this. She hadn’t dated since she’d been a student—since she’d met Joe—and it really wasn’t something she was good at. She’d married the last man—ha, the first man—she’d dated; and that had turned out to be a complete disaster.
She shook herself. Daniel was asking her out to dinner, not shoving an engagement ring at her and asking her to spend the rest of her life with him. But, even so, panic flooded through her. ‘If this is about me looking after Mia when she was ill, there’s really no need—I was just doing my job, the same as you do with your mums and babies.’
‘It’s not about Mia. It’s about you and me, and—’ He stopped. ‘Sorry, I’m hopeless at this. I haven’t asked anyone out for a long time.’
Was she the first person he’d asked out since his wife had died? Oh, help. That was extra pressure she didn’t need. How could she be mean enough to knock him back, under those circumstances? Then again, how could she be mean enough to say yes, knowing that she was an emotional mess and totally hopeless when it came to relationships?
‘I really should’ve gone on one of those online dating site things and brushed up on how you ask someone out,’ Daniel said wryly.
His candour made her feel a lot better and she smiled at him. He was obviously feeling as out of his depth as she was, right now; and he obviously wasn’t taking anything for granted. ‘That makes two of us. I mean, not that I ask people out. I just haven’t dated for a while and—oh, dear.’ She grimaced. ‘I think I’m digging a hole for both of us.’
He smiled back at her. ‘I think we need to start this one again. My sister said I should just be myself and be honest.’
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