Back to You
Lauren Dane
What won't he do for a second chance?Former model Kelly Hurley has finally put the ashes of the past behind her. After a passionate but turbulent marriage to rock star Vaughan Hurley that ended in heartbreak and divorce, Kelly rebuilt her life in Portland, where she settled so their two young daughters could be close to their father. Just not so close Kelly couldn't truly make her own way without interference from the man who shattered her heart. Now Kelly's finally ready to move on, and she's planning to marry another man.But not if Vaughan has anything to say about it.Vaughan knows he was a fool all those years ago. A young, selfish–and prideful–fool. Even as he buried himself in the fast, decadent rock-star lifestyle, he could never drown out the memory of Kelly's beauty and love. Or the sweet, searing heat whenever they touched. For years, he's had to deal with the pain of seeing her only because of their daughters, but it was never enough. Now Vaughan must prove that he's the only man Kelly needs, before he loses her for good. And there's only one way to do it…
What won’t he do for a second chance?
Former model Kelly Hurley has finally put the ashes of the past behind her. After a passionate but turbulent marriage to rock star Vaughan Hurley that ended in heartbreak and divorce, Kelly rebuilt her life in Portland, where she settled so their two young daughters could be close to their father. Just not so close Kelly couldn’t truly make her own way without interference from the man who shattered her heart. Now Kelly’s finally ready to move on, and she’s planning to marry another man.
But not if Vaughan has anything to say about it.
Vaughan knows he was a fool all those years ago. A young, selfish—and prideful—fool. Even as he buried himself in the fast, decadent rock-star lifestyle, he could never drown out the memory of Kelly’s beauty and love. Or the sweet, searing heat whenever they touched. For years, he’s had to deal with the pain of seeing her only because of their daughters, but it was never enough. Now Vaughan must prove that he’s the only man Kelly needs, before he loses her for good. And there’s only one way to do it…
Praise for Lauren Dane (#ulink_3997b341-5245-5df4-bc0b-4ddc0e9581dc)
“Most remarkable is the fierce power of Dane’s uniquely confident heroine, whose strength gives this story power… Dane’s mastery of her characters and their emotional complexity shines, making it a book fans will savor.”
—RT Book Reviews on Broken Open, 4 stars
“A fabulous start to a sexy new series, the Hurley Brothers series introduces us to rock-star brothers who would tempt the most resistant of readers. Ms. Dane’s new book features a charming hero in hot pursuit, a strong, smart heroine and smokin’ hot love scenes. The Best Kind of Trouble is the best kind of reading.”
—Dear Author
“The perfect combination of sexy rock-star fantasy and emotionally tender romance.”
—Kirkus Reviews on The Best Kind of Trouble
“Dane strikes a beautiful balance in this dynamo of a series debut. Her characters are real and have sympathetic flaws. A colorful cast of supporting characters with absorbing tales of their own ensures that this is a series that readers would do well to seek out and savor.”
—RT Book Reviews on The Best Kind of Trouble, 4 stars
“The Best Kind of Trouble is the lead novel in what promises to be a very steamy and extremely well-written new series by Lauren Dane. She shows us what happens when you mix an ubersexy rock-star-slash-rancher with a kick-ass librarian. It’s nothing short of wonderful.”
—Mills & Boon Junkie, recommended read
“The Best Kind of Trouble is a great example of what Lauren Dane is known for—strong family ties and confident characters with an extra touch of sexiness for good measure!”
—Fresh Fiction
Back to You
Lauren Dane
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
As ever, I am humbled and grateful for the people in my life who have gone above and beyond to help me in some way. I would not be where I am in my life without all that kindness.
That I was able to actually get through 2014 is in a huge part due to all that generosity and love.
Thank you.
Contents
Cover (#u5e192e05-df54-5c75-ad7d-4e6952b9fa3b)
Back Cover Text (#u8dd7ee72-8bc5-5399-88de-767f32c28e4f)
Praise (#u421571cf-9629-538d-ba3c-018ecfeed791)
Title Page (#u74931a66-26e6-5955-a60d-52e226ce7c5a)
Dedication (#uf28ec9b2-ab71-5fb9-bbe4-efc1a47121ef)
CHAPTER ONE (#u8004afd2-cd39-5866-b471-1c9116564ced)
CHAPTER TWO (#u64482bf4-c702-561e-a7b8-920f07dadf64)
CHAPTER THREE (#u4201fd78-aa9c-5b87-86cb-1bc2fbf5a023)
CHAPTER FOUR (#uf8fac813-ad23-5996-ae0e-222f389cf88c)
CHAPTER FIVE (#u8b4dd233-d58f-5897-9418-e64b7ebace38)
CHAPTER SIX (#u5e50abdd-026f-5107-8c48-1106a0bca71a)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#u1aa2e7c7-4462-56c3-b6fb-f4b0cc9e916a)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#ub45e56ec-2dff-5e94-a181-b43d4f347de8)
CHAPTER NINE (#uc14b8d87-5cce-5218-9f8c-f29a573ed4fc)
CHAPTER TEN (#ub1841ad0-445a-5aef-9682-74f9ea74a68c)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#u595a6945-f4bc-50a0-beb4-591ce6df660e)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#ua39b3444-04b8-5741-acb9-594c3113710a)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN (#uea288db0-ae46-5841-a9cf-0805d0aebba4)
CHAPTER FOURTEEN (#u72471175-b66d-5fb5-b931-b6e82a960a62)
CHAPTER FIFTEEN (#uc5e2c9e5-1fe8-55a5-96a3-0e4e8ed98aa9)
CHAPTER SIXTEEN (#u9fcc6e86-d6ad-5248-a2d5-b0dd952fbaab)
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN (#u5c036a71-87e7-552c-982d-2af38a642f4d)
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN (#u3ebc14fb-5c4a-57ac-87d2-70c2fede377e)
CHAPTER NINETEEN (#u1d1e929a-2086-5b5b-a34c-ae244167bf5b)
CHAPTER TWENTY (#ue032e81c-ca7a-504d-b0f5-08ca374c70f6)
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE (#u567ccf4d-722b-5e7d-a831-92a7db544b39)
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO (#u02faac0c-a519-57d6-80c6-c2104a173321)
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE (#u91e0208f-2611-569a-87d9-a977a23cbd0a)
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR (#u2f428a6b-33a4-59a6-bf47-18441886d228)
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE (#u42518bf1-be96-57e3-889a-d382d9d9c3c8)
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX (#udb3883b4-317f-58e0-a8ae-762bca9382e1)
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN (#u0d3c9e1f-b2df-5512-9b2c-4a4e0fc6b2a9)
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS (#u04a71ccf-2dea-591f-a81b-89452ea19ead)
Extract (#ua3016e81-e493-5350-955e-7144aac60765)
Copyright (#uef013cb6-4d93-5615-8c9a-6df695feb6de)
CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_daa4de2f-0309-51dc-a3bc-4f04cc19e17a)
KELLY’S FIRST INSTINCT was to pretend she wasn’t sure she heard Ross right. But it would have been a lie and she hated lying. Regardless, she didn’t know how to answer.
She was thirty-three years old. She had two great kids, a successful professional life, and this man, whom she could see building a life with, had just asked her to marry him. Only less romantically, it was more of a we’ve been sleeping over at one another’s houses for a year now. We should just get married because it’s good for everyone and it would be more cost-efficient, don’t you think?
What else could she do but say yes? It didn’t matter that Ross wasn’t Vaughan. Or, actually, it did matter that he wasn’t the man who’d broken her heart into so many pieces she’d been uncertain she could ever get over it.
Kelly was pretty sure by that point that she wouldn’t. So it was more like trying to figure out how to have a happy life even though she still ached for someone who didn’t love her.
Eight years. She’d walked out on her ex-husband and the father of her children eight years before. And she’d waited. Waited for him to figure out she was amazing and that together they could have such a wonderful, loving family. If he just got his shit together.
Plenty of tears and lots of lonely nights later, all she’d gotten was the lesson that no matter how much she wished it wasn’t true, Vaughan Hurley wasn’t a stable, reliable bet.
Worse, Kelly wasn’t sure he ever would be. Whether he’d ever grow the hell up and be a man worth her love wasn’t something she could bet on anymore. What was she supposed to do? Be single forever? Wait for something that might never come to pass? Kelly didn’t want to be alone anymore. She wanted to be married. Wanted to come home to someone every day.
Ross was a good man. He’d be a good husband. She had no right to expect superhot chemistry every single moment. She loved him. They could have a good life. He was exactly what she needed.
She had to stop waiting around and start living her future. She focused on Ross’s warm, brown eyes. He was safe. “All right. Yes,” a stranger seemed to say, though Kelly didn’t take the words back or argue with them.
Ross smiled and hugged her tight.
* * *
VAUGHAN HURLEY WAS finally home after being away for the past three months touring with his band, Sweet Hollow Ranch. Even before that, he’d been hard at work on their new album. It’d been a good move on his part, as his career and the band’s sales and tour had done exceptionally well. But there’d been no denying he’d put pretty much his entire focus on work.
He was done with that for now. He had things to do. Things he’d avoided doing for years. Maybe too long.
And it had taken his ex-wife’s being proposed to, to finally get him to admit it.
“I thought I should let you know Ross asked me to marry him and I accepted.”
His heart lurched as he struggled to keep his composure. “When are you getting married?”
“We haven’t set a date yet, but not for another year or so.” She waited. He needed to beg her not to do it.
“Oh. Congratulations.”
She’d nodded. “Thanks. Have a good tour.” She’d turned and left him there on her porch, and he’d driven back home on autopilot.
Vaughan’d been thinking of little else over the past three months. Not just her engagement, but his ridiculous silence and the way she’d waited for him to say something, and when he didn’t she’d walked away.
And here he was, after a show, amped up and missing something he hadn’t realized he’d been blessed to have until he’d lost it.
They shared two beautiful daughters he adored like crazy, though. After three months on the road and not being able to kiss or hug them, he missed them. As they got older it was harder and harder to leave them each time. Because the next time he saw them, even if it was just a few weeks later, they’d have grown and lived and he’d missed all those moments.
Despite that, he was blessed that they loved him back. His little girls, smelling of that strawberry shampoo they loved, snuggling and kissing him good-night. When they looked at him with so much trust and love, it broke him apart and put him together anew every damned time.
He drove the short distance, waiting until he was parked at the curb in front of the house his ex-wife raised their children in. Their home. A place he had to ask to visit.
All his goddamned choice. His divorce had been the epitome of being sorry you got what you wished for.
The lights appeared to be on upstairs so he had hope that he could at least poke his head in on the girls if they were asleep and drop presents off.
And see her.
He pulled his phone out and texted her that he was outside. But she didn’t text him a reply. Instead Kelly appeared on the porch and waved him inside. He moved to obey and that’s when he noted her urgency.
Fear seized his heart as he rushed to her. “What is it?”
“It’s Maddie. She’s got a really high fever and abdominal pain that when it happens is so bad she can’t stand through it. I’m just about to take her to the emergency room. Can you come?”
Vaughan looked at her, truly looked at her for the first time in a while. She still made his heart skip a beat but right then, it was totally clear she needed him. He shook himself loose and focused on the problem. “Yes, yes, of course. Tell me what you need.”
Kelly paused. Just a slight one, and drew a quick breath. She licked her lips and then pointed him upstairs. “I just finished getting her dressed. I have her shoes in my purse. Can you bring her down? I’m going to get the car unlocked and ready. Take her out the front door.” Her delivery was clipped and very precise, and that moment of intimacy between them passed. He took some comfort in her apparent self-control and got his shit together, too.
Halfway up the stairs, he remembered their younger daughter. “Kensey?”
“She’s spending the night with a friend. Hurry, Vaughan.”
He did, jogging to the bedroom at the end of the hall. His baby smiled up at him briefly. “Daddy? You’re here. I’m glad. I have a fever.”
Vaughan bent, picking her up, the heat of her burning against his skin. Panic licked at the edges of his consciousness. He dug deep and got it under control. His child needed him. “I heard. Come on, baby. Your mom is getting the car ready.”
She nodded sleepily, her pale green eyes glossy with fever.
Kelly was at the door and she led him to the car where he loaded Maddie in, sliding next to her.
“Settle in, noodle. We’re going to the doctor now. Lean on Daddy.” Kelly met his gaze in the rearview mirror. He noted her fear. Thank God he’d been there, and she and Maddie hadn’t had to go through this alone.
No one spoke much as they hurried to the hospital not too very far from Kelly’s place. Once during the ride Maddie tightened up with a hiss as the pain shot through her abdomen, but it was fleeting.
When she pulled up under the awning outside the ER, Kelly came around to his door. “I’m going to take her inside. I have all her medical info and they know me here. So I need you to park the car and join me inside afterward. Can you do that?”
Her tone was exactly what he needed to hear. No nonsense. In charge and efficient. He got out, transferred Maddie to Kelly’s arms and she went inside.
Vaughan didn’t waste any more time looking longingly at her. He jumped back into her SUV and found a place to park as quickly as possible. His phone to his ear as he called his parents, he also managed to grab his hoodie and Maddie’s stuffed pig before hurrying back toward the double doors leading to the emergency room.
* * *
VAUGHAN STOOD ACROSS from Kelly, on the other side of the gurney their daughter lay on. They were preparing to roll her into the operating room, and Kelly paused to press a kiss to Maddie’s forehead after brushing the hair away from her eyes, already heavy with the first step of sedation.
She looked so small, so vulnerable. Fear sent Kelly’s heart pounding fast, but she worked to keep her tone upbeat. To hold it together because that was her job. “I love you. I’ll be waiting right here when you get out.”
That her daughter already knew that meant everything to Kelly. And when Maddie murmured, “Love you, Mommy,” that was enough to get through and be the person her children could always depend on.
Vaughan whispered that he loved Maddie and would see her soon before he stepped back, standing next to Kelly as the hospital staff wheeled the gurney down the hall and through another set of double doors.
She kept her gaze on the spot Maddie had been. A sob tried to escape the pit of her stomach and she wrestled it back. But not before Vaughan heard it. He took her hand then, squeezing it. “She’s going to be aces, Kel. You know it.”
That made it a lot harder to wrestle tears away, but finally, Kelly nodded, hearing the fear in his tone, adjusting her tone to soothe. He needed her, too. She’d dealt with stitches and middle-of-the-night croup-driven sessions in a foggy bathroom with the hot water running. That kind of parenting had taught Kelly just how amazing and resilient kids could be. Maddie would be just fine and she needed to keep her focus on that.
Vaughan hadn’t had to deal with an emergency in the middle of the night, she reminded herself. Empathy was something she could give him freely and it wouldn’t harm her. Kelly smiled at her ridiculously beautiful ex-husband. “Thanks.”
They headed out to the small waiting room and she slumped into one of the chairs with a sigh. It was nearly one in the morning and the adrenaline was beginning to wear off, leaving her exhausted and jittery at the same time.
Thank God Kensey was safely elsewhere so she wouldn’t need to be disturbed and Kelly could be there at the hospital without worry. She ticked off her mental checklist, making sure she hadn’t missed anything important.
Vaughan looked her over critically, looking a little more settled. “How long has it been since you’ve eaten?”
It flustered her when he was like this. It was easier when he was gone from her life for long periods of time. She could not love the man who’d chosen to let go of his family so he could keep from growing up. Kelly had two children; she didn’t need a third. Didn’t need to chase after the fleeting moments of true connection when she had something good with Ross.
Her fiancé, she reminded herself when she started to think about the way it sounded when Vaughan said her name. Eight years after her heart had been broken and she finally had the chance to make a family with someone else.
“I made Maddie dinner at five. She hadn’t been feeling well so I made her tomato soup with a grilled cheese sandwich. She didn’t eat much.”
“My mom used to make me that when I was sick.” He smiled and her stomach did a little flippy thing. Probably just because she was worried. “I noticed you told me when Maddie ate, but not if you did.”
“I had soup and a sandwich, too. Did you eat? You just got off stage. I remember what you were like.” She colored, though she tried not to. After a show he’d be starving. For food and for sex. No one had ever made her feel like Vaughan had. She’d wait for him in his dressing room and he’d head straight to her. It would be raw, hard. He left bite marks on places only he would see. It had been overwhelmingly hot. So sexy and intensely pleasurable she’d gotten lost in it. And in the end it hadn’t been a good thing. She shook her head to release her memories. Because it had never been more than that to him, while for her it had been part of the everything he’d been.
“You can go if you want to. I’ll keep you updated on her status. You’ve got to be exhausted.”
Vaughan looked at her for a really long time. Long enough she’d started to squirm. Finally, he said, “I’m done going.”
She knew he meant something other than just Maddie. She forced herself to ask, though she wasn’t entirely sure she was ready for whatever he might answer. “What?”
He shook his head. “I’m not going anywhere, Kelly. I’m just glad I stopped at your place. I’m here. This is our child. We can do this together.”
Maybe she was projecting and he hadn’t meant anything more than that. She was too tired to push. Her eyes burned. Her stomach hurt and she was jittery and emotional.
He was Maddie’s dad. And Kelly always encouraged the girls’ relationship with their dad and his family. Here was Vaughan trying and she decided to let him and be grateful. “Okay. I’m glad you’re here, too.”
“I have a proposal. There’s a twenty-four-hour joint not too far away. Nothing fancy, but I stop there with the girls sometimes before I bring them home. How about I go and pick some food up and bring it back?”
Her hands had started to shake a little so she balled them into fists a few times before shoving them into her pockets. Food would be good, especially since they’d be up hours more.
She also needed some time alone to get herself together and make some calls.
“Yeah, that’d be great. Thanks.”
“I’ll call it in so it’s ready when I get there. I should be back in half an hour or less.” Vaughan smiled for a second. “I said this already, but I’ll say it again. I’m glad I stopped by tonight.” He handed her his sweatshirt. “Here, you look a little chilly.”
He left quickly and she leaned her head back, closing her eyes.
She’d given up on Vaughan being there when she’d needed him at all a long time ago. Wished it didn’t matter that he’d been there that night.
It made a difference. And she was a fool to let it.
It seemed as if she’d been trying to get over Vaughan Hurley since before they divorced. Of all the people she’d sought attention and affection from in her life, only Vaughan still had a hold on her heart and it made her so stupid, but love did that.
With a groan, Kelly sat up and pulled out her phone to text her best friend. Stacey was across the country in Manhattan. She was attending some conference where she was presenting a paper. As much as Kelly wished Stacey could be there with her right then, this paper was a big deal.
So she kept her text pretty light. Gave the basic details and urged her to stay in New York. There really was nothing Stacey could do at that point, but Kelly would keep her updated.
That done, she texted Ross. He didn’t like Vaughan, though he never showed that in front of the girls. He was resentful of any time Kelly spent with him, even for family events, and jealous that Vaughan had a connection to Kelly through their children. She filled him in about the situation with Maddie and said she’d talk to him when he got up.
All that done, Kelly stood, stretching. She pulled on Vaughan’s sweatshirt, as it was indeed chilly in the waiting room. It had been years since her skin had been this close to his scent and it sent her reeling.
An ache that she’d grown accustomed to many years ago throbbed at the memories of what it had been for a brief, shining time. She slammed that shut by remembering the Hurleys would be showing up soon enough.
Of this she had zero doubt. They’d drop whatever they were doing and rush over because Vaughan needed them, and every damned one of them would show up to support him and Maddie.
Mostly she was grateful her children had that support and love in their lives. Mostly. Her former mother-in-law might hate Kelly, but she loved her grandchildren and her sons.
Kelly had no room to judge. Especially because she had absolutely no plans to call her mother. Rebecca Larsen was in the Hamptons for the summer—at the house Kelly’s money had bought—and Kelly liked it that way.
Kelly had grown up in an angry, turbulent household. At twelve, when she’d walked a show for the first time, she’d recognized it as her means to get away from Rebecca.
When she’d given birth to Maddie and they’d gotten home from the hospital, Kelly had been alone with her daughter and she’d made a promise right then and there to make a family with that tiny creature. To keep her safe and loved and to do her all to empower and raise a child who knew every moment of every day that she was worthy.
With a sigh, Kelly focused on the prerequisite black-and-white nature photo on a far wall as she sank into a chair. Letting herself go blank, a meditation technique she’d learned from an old roommate back in her modeling days, Kelly let go of everything that wasn’t Maddie.
Being a mother hadn’t made Kelly into a woman or anything like that. But it had dug roots into Kelly’s life in a way she’d never really experienced before. This was a toss-yourself-in-front-of-a-speeding-car-to-save-someone love, and it had revolutionized her entire existence.
She’d been strong in a way she could look herself in the mirror every morning and not flinch. Sometimes the only thing that gave her the ability to keep going was to always be a good example to her kids. Maddie would be fine because Kelly would rip the world apart to make it so.
* * *
THEY MOVED DOWN to the main waiting room once Vaughan had returned with the food. Only he and Kelly had been allowed in the one just outside the pediatric surgery, but they could see through to those doors from where they were seated now.
“Not the first time we’ve eaten diner food after one in the morning.” He grinned at her. She wore his sweatshirt and though it had been so long, he wasn’t surprised that it still made him greedy for her. Or that it made him remember the way she’d looked in nothing but one of his T-shirts after a show.
She balled up her napkin after wiping her mouth. “I’m not as young as I was then. I’m going to have to take an antacid. As far as a meal in a hospital this late at night goes? It’s top-notch. Thanks for going to pick it up.”
“It gave me something to do and like I said, I was hungry, too.”
“I hadn’t really had the chance to ask how the tour went.” There was a caution in her tone that he rarely heard from her on other subjects.
This topic was full of briars and hidden traps between them. Had been. And maybe, just maybe, it was his fault.
Before he could answer, though, Kelly stood, a smile on her face. “Why are you here? I told you to stay home.”
Vaughan withheld his growl of annoyance at the sight of Kelly’s boyfriend Ross strolling into the waiting room and enfolding Vaughan’s wife into a hug she clearly needed. One Vaughan hadn’t offered. Because he had no right to anymore.
Ross kissed her forehead and Vaughan wanted to punch the guy. The guy who said, “I decided you could be forgiven for such a ridiculous request since you were under duress. Of course I’m here. Where else would I be?”
All Ross’s attention had been on Kelly but Vaughan knew very well the other man hadn’t missed Vaughan in the room. Especially when Ross’s gaze focused on Vaughan for long moments before he released Kelly and held a hand Vaughan’s way.
“Hey, Vaughan. Good to see you. Sorry about the circumstances.”
Ross may not have liked Vaughan, but he had good manners. He also clearly loved Kelly. And why shouldn’t he? Kelly was gorgeous. She had her own businesses, she was a great mom and she was smart. And funny. Her skin was really soft and she smelled really good.
“Good to see you, too.” Which was a total lie. Vaughan would be happy if he never saw the other dude’s mug again.
Ross turned back to Kelly. “What’s happening with Maddie?” He brushed her hair away from her face. “Let’s sit.” He led her back to where they’d been sitting, settling next to Kelly.
Vaughan used that opportunity to check in with his brothers but even with his back turned, he could see their reflection in the window he stood before.
* * *
KELLY LEANED INTO ROSS. Relieved that he’d come. Soothed by the stability he always brought into her life. “Who’s with the girls?” Ross had two daughters roughly the same age as her own.
“My mom came over. I wouldn’t even have seen your text until the morning but I got up to go to the bathroom and I saw my phone as I passed back to bed.”
He kissed her temple and spoke into her ear. “Did you think I wouldn’t come? With all his family most likely moments from descending on this hospital?”
Of course he would have thought about how it would feel for Kelly to be the only non-Hurley in that room. She knitted her fingers with his. Ross was what she needed. Steady. He would carry his weight. He was what she’d been missing most of her life.
Though it had been something she found herself having to repeat over and over like a mantra, and she was pretty sure it wasn’t because it made her so happy to think about.
Halfway through her telling, Sharon and Michael Hurley came in, heading straight to Vaughan, hugging him and speaking quietly before they all returned to settle in to wait for news.
* * *
THE DOCTOR CAME in shortly after that to let them know Maddie was out of surgery and that things had gone well. Vaughan stood at her side and squeezed her hand at the news.
They went back to recovery where they were allowed to kiss Maddie and tell her they loved her. Kelly pulled Pete from the pocket of her hoodie and tucked him in against Maddie’s side. “Daddy brought Pete to keep you company.”
Maddie’s smile was goofy as her eyes slowly closed.
“So glad you brought him,” Kelly murmured as they left.
“Yeah?”
He looked so eager for her approval it made Kelly feel guilty.
“Yeah.”
“They’re buds.” He shrugged, blushing a little.
He may have never taken his kids to a dental appointment, but he knew that. He didn’t know their friends, either, but he knew how much his daughter loved that stuffed animal and that it would comfort her. He paid attention when it mattered. At least when it came to his children. Which in the big picture was important. She chided herself to always remember. Especially when she started to get bitter. Things could always be worse.
“Hang on a second. I need to stop by the nurses’ station.”
He stood at her side as she made sure they had her daughter’s allergies noted. She also got the times they could come back to see Maddie.
In the long hallway, before they hit the swinging doors leading back to the waiting room, Vaughan stopped her. “Hey, thank you for letting me be here. It means a lot to me.”
“It means a lot to her, too.”
His smile was lopsided. The one she’d dropped her panties for way back when. It still made her happy and sad all at once.
“What’s next? What can I do?” Vaughan asked, looking a little lost.
“I’ll hang out here awhile longer and then head home. You should go and get rest. You have a tour-ending show tonight.”
He stopped her with a hand at her shoulder. “This is a million times more important.”
It was, of course, but it was nice to hear him say it. Even if she didn’t believe him all the way. He’d chosen music over his family more than once. She understood that this tour meant they were employing the crew, filling seats with fans who loved Sweet Hollow Ranch and who’d be disappointed if they didn’t play. So many livelihoods to be responsible for.
“Look, I’m not going to be upset if you do. If she keeps improving over the day, there’s no reason you should cancel,” Kelly said. Which was true, of course.
Vaughan looked as if he was arguing with himself but finally shook his head. “Ezra and Paddy hooked me and my parents up with hotel rooms for today. We also talked about tonight and the show and we’re all agreed that we’re waiting to see how Maddie is today. I’m not going anywhere, Kel.”
Kelly nodded. Even though she knew he hadn’t been before. She’d needed him and he just hadn’t been there. She nodded, even though she knew he could easily rip her trust to shreds if she gave it to him, so she wasn’t going to risk her trust. Especially not when it came to her daughters. And yet what point would there be in saying all that? Why call him out and start something when they were both on edge and stressed?
Vaughan loved his daughters. They adored him right back. That was important. That was what she always had to remember.
This was about Maddie, who would undoubtedly benefit from having her dad around. And Kensey, too, because she’d be worried about her big sister, and her daddy would be around to make her feel better.
“All right.”
“Thank you.”
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_842c2a37-df4a-5d40-b536-1d0aaed61cbf)
THE FOLLOWING DAY, Kelly really wondered just what the hell she’d been thinking when she’d invited all these people over. Her house nearly groaned at the seams with Hurleys. All Vaughan’s brothers were there and each of them had a woman along. Mary, Damien’s wife, was hugely pregnant and yet she’d moved through Kelly’s kitchen with ease, continuing to produce food at a rate that made Kelly begin to wonder if the other woman didn’t have one of those magic bags that Hermione had in the Harry Potter books.
They all happily bustled through Kelly’s house, comfortable with one another. Even just a year before it would have made her feel lonely. So alone. But this place was hers. At one time she’d been far more comfortable on the other side of the camera, but in the years since she’d retired from the runway, she’d made herself at home taking photographs. The walls were covered in memories.
Every pillow, picture, plate and towel existed as a sort of talisman for Kelly. A bit of magic that made her feel safe. This was her home, her heart. Even Sharon Hurley being in her kitchen wasn’t enough to shake that.
Though it stung to see how warm Sharon Hurley was with everyone else’s women. Not once had the woman showed even a sliver of that toward her.
A knife shaped like jealousy and doubt sliced through her, and Kelly ruthlessly pushed it aside. It didn’t matter. She left and that was that.
Ross had recently left, taking his daughters along with him. His oldest had a piano lesson and after that, they had their weekly family dinner. At his ex-in-laws’ house. Yeah, that was sort of annoying. He still hung out with his ex-wife and her family weekly, but what could she say when her house was full of Hurleys?
So, Kelly had urged him to keep their schedules. Things needed to get back to normal. And to be honest, she really needed to think about how much hostility Ross had shown—in private, of course—over Vaughan and his family being around so much. He thought their lifestyle was bad for the girls to be around.
But that lifestyle was their world. Their dad was a musician. There was no getting around that. She didn’t want the girls to be ashamed or conflicted about it. It wasn’t Ross’s place and she pushed back but he didn’t like it much.
Blended families could work. They did work. But if he continued to attempt to get between the girls and their father, it made success impossible.
And damn if Vaughan wasn’t making it worse. He kept looking at her. Not in a where’s the food sense, like most people looked to one another in these situations. But an I like your boobs way.
Their sexual chemistry had never dimmed. Ever. Years ago Kelly had accepted she would always burn for Vaughan. But aside from his general flirty behavior—he had always been like that—he tried to keep it light. He certainly didn’t stare at her as if he wanted to rub on her the way she’d caught him at a few times that day.
When it was time to eat, he’d tried some monkey business, placing Kelly at the opposite end of the table from Ross but next to Vaughan. He’d put her in a corner and she didn’t like it one bit.
So Kelly had picked up her things and headed down to sit with Ross and his girls. Vaughan was up to something and she had no idea what the hell it was. But she was not pleased that he’d manipulate her like that.
But like so many things with Vaughan, she couldn’t call him out. Not in a crowded house. Not with his daughter around. There were always reasons and it normally just made her sad. But now? She was mad. And she’d take mad over sad. Yes, she would.
Anyway, it was easier to resist him when she was mad.
Kelly headed out a side door, into the backyard. She needed some alone time for just a few minutes so she sought the privacy, and chocolate, of the tree house.
She’d made a nice little nest up here after the girls had gotten bored with the custom play space they’d begged for. Predictable, she knew. Why not make lemonade out of those lemons?
Kelly settled in the low folding chair and pulled the pretty blue mason jar from the little built-in table.
Inside, a sensual rainbow of delight. Chocolate bars of every type, wrapped in a variety of colors and textures. Pale lavender with silver writing, midnight blue with gold stars, the saffron yellow with bold green. All her favorites.
Kelly looked to the tick marks on the inside of the lid and allowed herself to select the lavender. Salted caramel with almond. She made a quick note and closed the lid. Settling in with a sigh as she kicked off her sandals.
She slid a fingertip down the seam, baring the glossy dark chocolate inside. Six squares.
Snapping off two, she broke that in half again and that’s when Vaughan’s head popped in through the open hatch.
He started, clearly surprised to see her there. “Oh! Sorry.” He started to go. And she should have let him but instead, she called him back.
“Is everything all right?”
He popped in again. “Yes. I just...”
“Needed some quiet?” Kelly asked.
Relief flooded his face. “Yes.”
She held the candy bar his way. “Come on, then. I have chocolate.”
He gave her a look and settled in, criss-cross-applesauce style. He probably did yoga to move with such ease.
She handed over a square of chocolate and popped the other into her mouth, not letting his presence ruin the luxury of that first taste. Yum.
“Thanks for inviting my family over here. I know my mom can be...”
Kelly held a hand up to stop him. “Nope. Not going there with you. We’re not married anymore and your children are nowhere in sight. I don’t have to be nice so whatever. I don’t want to talk about her. You were all worried about Maddie. You all got hungry. My house is here. Kensey is delighted to have her uncles and grandparents here. That’s all I need to care about.”
“You’ve changed your tune.”
Seriously, her chocolate Zen was really getting messed up by this. “Not really, Vaughan. This thing with your mom isn’t about me at all. It’s about you and I’m not paying for your sins. Not anymore.” She broke off two more squares, handing him one.
“I guess that’s fair.”
“You guess.” She snorted.
He gave her a lopsided grin. “Did you take medication and sneak some wine?”
“I wish. I’m drunk on indignation, I think. It’s the only kind of libation I can have until the only Hurleys in this house are me and Kensey.”
“Why? No one is going to care.”
“I can’t get sloppy when your mother is around. I never know when she might attack.” She hadn’t meant to say it, but once the words came out, she was glad she had.
“I’m sorry. For...a lot.”
For a lot. Kelly sighed, exhausted and utterly fed up. The trickle of anger she’d been dealing with all day began to flow a lot more freely. Eight years and he still couldn’t just say it out loud.
“You’re not saying anything,” Vaughan said.
Kelly stared at him, blinking. She couldn’t have imagined anything worse for him to say at that moment. “You’re going to take that tone with me? Where the fuck have you been, Vaughan? Huh? Are you kidding me with this?”
He jerked back a little. In the past, this would have been the place she’d have apologized, even though she wasn’t at fault for anything. An ingrained response to keep her mother calm that she’d taken with her from childhood like a tic.
But she closed her mouth and refused to say she was sorry when she was most definitely not. Anger had sharpened parts of the pain of their breakup she thought she’d left in the past.
And instead of running from it, she let it slice through her. She needed to never forget what loving this man had cost her. Though she’d never trade the pleasure they’d shared to erase the pain, she couldn’t allow herself to pretend it was safe to trust him without cost.
She wasn’t willing to pay it. Not again. Not even with a lot more years and experience under her belt. She was completely beyond her ability and she couldn’t once again be in a relationship where she was far more deeply committed and invested than her partner was.
“So, okay, then. You don’t accept my apology. And I understand.”
For real? The man avoided all of this stuff for years and years and suddenly he decided to talk about it? And she was supposed to simply accept it and jump in where he was without protest?
Without even her input on whether or not she even wanted to do this right then? Ugh, his ego was insufferable. And hot, but right then insufferable. “Oh, you do?”
His eyes widened. “You’re mad.” He said it with surprise. As if he hadn’t even considered that as one of her reactions. Kelly really wished she’d have tucked a bottle of gin out here. Chocolate wasn’t enough for this.
“Yes, I’m mad!”
“That I finally apologized?”
Years later and this was how he decided to say he was sorry? No, worse, this was what he thought saying he was sorry looked like. Maybe it was that she had terrible taste in men. She needed to use one of those matchmakers. They’d do the choosing and she could avoid everyone who made her want to punch them in the junk.
But at the moment, the audacity fueled her and she gave it free rein. “I should have known that when you finally got around to it—eight years later—you’d be pissed off that someone told you to own your shit.”
She took a few moments to find the right way to say the next bit. “I’m sorry for a lot means everything and nothing at all. You should be sorry for both, I guess. But you’re here in my house and you’re acting weird and apologizing for nothing and everything and I want to know what is wrong with you?”
“I want to know what’s wrong with you,” he countered.
It would be easy to let her anger turn her into her mother. To give over to an existence that was a torrent of negativity. It was why she rarely let herself get mad. Anger was a drug. It messed up everything in your life and for everyone in it. It was a cancer. And even in small doses it was a luxury she hadn’t been able to afford.
Carefully now, though, she was ready to let some of it free. It wasn’t overwhelming, it was...real. Real enough to not get swayed by his looks, or the way she loved him still, so very much.
Pissed off was a good defense against his charm and it wasn’t junk punching, so it was a good compromise.
“You haven’t changed at all.” Which made her tired and sad. She moved to the hatch but he intercepted her, a hand at her wrist. The cramped space was usually comfortable, but right then it was confining.
“How can you say that?” He’d shifted so that he remained between her and the hatch to leave.
“Shouldn’t you be off to your show soon?” Kelly looked at a spot just over his right shoulder, telling herself it didn’t matter that he was either blind to what was happening or that he was willing to let her walk away because he couldn’t be frank.
“Not until we talk. How can you say I haven’t changed? That’s unfair, Kelly.”
She shifted her attention from that spot over his shoulder to his eyes. “This entire conversation is making me really cranky.”
Kelly spun the ring she wore on her middle finger. The familiarity of the movement enabled her to get her words together. She hoped he really listened.
“If I recall correctly, we had a version of this non-conversation conversation complete with a non-apology apology years ago. You didn’t have the balls to say what you did out loud then, either. Still getting pissy that someone other than your mother was calling you on it. Lucky for you, she’s still your number one girl and she’s just inside. Save your bullshit for her.”
Yeah, it was harsh, but no less truthful for it.
“That’s mean,” Vaughan said.
“Mean? Fuck you, Vaughan. That woman called me a whore. Because her precious son fucked his marriage up and then never had the decency to tell her the whole truth. She’s in my house, after eating at my table. For that matter, you’re in my house, too, and I haven’t set either one of you on fire yet. I’m not mean. But I’m not a doormat. Not anymore. You may not have changed, but I have.”
He paused. “I’m sorry I brought this up right now. Sorry because I have to leave shortly for the arena, like you said. Sorry because I want to talk to you honestly but now isn’t the time.”
“It never is.” She pushed against his restraining hand and he let go, moving aside so she could get out of there. Once her feet hit the grass, she hurried back inside, leaving him to do whatever it was he needed to do.
That little discussion up in the tree house had been some sort of epiphany. For years she’d told herself it didn’t matter. That it was over and done. That she had to focus on her children and building her business. And she did need to do those things. To do them still.
But this...mad bubbling up from her belly was cathartic. Invigorating. She had to call Stacey to give her the news. Her best friend had been telling Kelly for years to get mad. Now that she had, it made a difference.
Stacey would say I told you so, but it was cool. Kelly would have in her friend’s place, as well.
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