Only Fat People Skip Breakfast: The Refreshingly Different Diet Book
Lee Janogly
Do all your dieting attempts end in failure? Do you ever intend to eat one biscuit but actually polish off the packet? Does your weight vary enormously depending on how 'good' you've been? If this sounds like you, it won't for much longer! Take control of your eating habits with Lee Janogly and break free from the binge-diet-crave-binge cycle.The reason why diets don't work for so many people is that they are actually binge eaters. This means that they can diet reasonably successfully until they get a taste of one of their trigger foods, whereupon they lose all self-control and eat as much food as they can physically cram in. The result is that a binger will be on a permanent see-saw of weight loss and weight gain, accompanied by varying degrees of guilt, anger, depression and frustration.
Only Fat People Skip Breakfast
Get Real – The Diet Book with a Difference
Lee Janogly
In memory of my brave, beautiful friends
SHIRLEY SEGAL,
JOY STOCK
and
JILL LEVY,
who would have enjoyed this book.
I miss your laughter.
Table of Contents
Cover Page (#u4df06c90-bc10-5e04-8030-ad57788359e3)
Title Page (#uf2aba57c-0502-5ef7-af74-cf86396cdf78)
Dedication (#uade9bd52-8282-5dc6-91a8-c1f8cc138512)
The Binger’s Psalm (#u78baf2b3-d155-5b13-8b9a-797322f82e8e)
Chapter One There Ain’t No Fairy Godmother (#u8482dacc-bc79-5373-a230-f56714af392f)
Chapter Two Who’s Conning Who? (#ubff5ceea-c1e9-565e-a722-af9036398ca8)
Chapter Three The Sugar You Eat is the Fat You Wear (#ue7f853fc-9968-5e7e-9b08-d30a9aafb7c8)
Chapter Four Your ‘Living Slim’ Eating Plan (#u2b4fa8ba-748b-5166-8046-8df1ffef6372)
Chapter Five You Either Get it – or You Don’t (#u441fc781-7d4c-5a9e-836b-c98e61595349)
Chapter Six Exercise – No Sweat, No Point (#u2890e0c2-b8ae-51b0-bdec-407ba8ccd838)
Chapter Seven You Don’t Take Orders from a Biscuit (#u7d777b87-89d4-5407-8307-1a2515bcb18f)
Chapter Eight You’ve Lost it—Now Keep it Off Forever (#u4b818434-2b21-5d77-9b31-24e04c07859c)
From Me to You (#u2db62c7d-a236-5fb7-90e2-c2c5da5af2be)
The Binger’s Prayer (#ub7fbf911-9d62-50f1-8256-eb3ca8a8febe)
Copyright (#u0a83ebb4-0759-59fe-9d42-59567bdd6a3a)
About the Publisher (#u0eeb6918-8aa6-5c15-ab2e-820076510116)
The Binger’s Psalm (#ulink_9325ed95-036a-5b69-a45a-012241d31e95)
On the eighth day God created cellulite.
And it came to pass that the Lord looked down upon His creation of the female form and lo, she was partaking overly of the Snickers bars and the cheese ’n’ onion crisps and much of the produce of the Häagen Dazs.
And she gathered unto herself an abundance of flesh and became wide of hip and thigh and the Lord was mightily pissed off at what He saw.
So the Lord summoned his trusty prophet Bulgythias and spake unto him: ‘Yo brother, dig these fat chicks! Go forth and tell ’em how it is, man.’
So the prophet Bulgythias took upon himself the task of studying the word of the diet counsellor, as it is written in the mighty tome Only Fat People Skip Breakfast by Lee Janogly, and spake thus unto all womankind:
‘Heed my words, for if thou dost enter the portals of yonder Starbucks and order a full-fat caramel mocha latte with double cream topping, yea, verily thou shalt be great of girth and thick of thigh!
‘Yield not unto temptation. Seek ye not the fruits of the sugar cane but take unto thyself the flowering broccoli instead. As thou walkest through the valley of the Marks & Spencer car park and enter the holy portals of the food hall, choose thou wisely. Gather unto thee the fish and the fowl, the fruit and the veg, and forsake all products bearing the word "frosted". Leave behind thine vehicle and powerwalk around thine neighbourhood and, in time, thou shalt be rewarded with thighs that are a joy to behold—yea, a tight bum in Versace jeans shall be thine! And thine mate will be sent wild with desire, for your price is far above rubies (which doesn’t say much for Ruby, but still…)
‘So take heed of this wise counsel and thou shalt dwell in the House of the Slim forever. Amen.’
Telephone Conversation with a New Client (NC)
NC:Hello? Is that the diet counsellor? I hope you can help—I’m desperate! I’ve got three stone to lose and it just won’t shift. I’ve tried every diet going, hut nothing works. I tried not mixing protein and carbohydrate hut who can stick to that? You can’t have fish and chips, there’s no spag bol or burgers, so what can you eat? Then I tried that French guy’s diet where you can have lots of butter and cream but that didn’t work for some reason. Cabbage soup made me nauseous. As for the high-protein diet, people backed away because my breath smelt so foul and I couldn’t go to the loo. But at least trying all these diets has taught me lots about nutrition. For example, I know that you must only eat fruit in the mornings because the enzyme that digests fruit doesn’t work after midday…
Me:Oh really?
NC:Oh yes, didn’t you know that? Anyway, so I went to Weight Watchers but I ran out of points by lunchtime. Then I did Slimming World but I accidentally had a hamburger on a green day and I’m colour-blind anyway. I couldn’t work out that Zone diet, I haven’t got a Little Black Dress, I read through all the blood group diets and you can eat more or less the same on all of them so what’s the point? I really don’t know what to do.
Me:Have you tried eating less?
NC:What do you mean?
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