Winter Wedding Bells: The Kiss / The Wish / The Promise
Jennifer Snow
Karen Rock
Kristine Rolofson
But guests are expecting a Christmas Eve wedding…!What could be more romantic than a Christmas wedding at a ski lodge in Lake Placid? Well, if there actually was a wedding, for one thing! Three stories about getting love right over the holidays by USA TODAY bestselling author Kristine Rolofson and award-winners Karen Rock and Jennifer Snow.The Kiss: A bride runs into her ex…and takes the ultimate gamble!The Wish: An event planner sprains her ankle…and the chef asserts control.The Promise: A maid of honor dodges an ex-boyfriend out to right a past wrong…
But guests are expecting a Christmas Eve wedding...!
What could be more romantic than a Christmas wedding at a ski lodge in Lake Placid? Well, if there actually was a wedding, for one thing! Three stories about getting love right over the holidays by USA TODAY bestselling author Kristine Rolofson and award-winners Karen Rock and Jennifer Snow.
The Kiss: A bride runs into her ex...and takes the ultimate gamble!
The Wish: An event planner sprains her ankle...and the chef asserts control.
The Promise: A maid of honor dodges an ex-boyfriend out to right a past wrong...
USA TODAY bestselling author KRISTINE ROLOFSON has written more than forty books for Harlequin. She and her husband call Rhode Island, Texas and Idaho home, depending on the time of year. When not writing, Kristine quilts, bakes peach pies, and plays lap steel guitar and fiddle in a country blues band. She collects vintage cowboy boots and is learning to yodel in order to sing “I Want to Be a Cowboy’s Sweetheart.”
KAREN ROCK is an award-winning young adult and adult contemporary romance author. She holds a master’s degree in English and worked as an ELA instructor before becoming a full-time writer. Currently she writes for Harlequin Heartwarming and has published five novels with them. Her first novel for the line, Wish Me Tomorrow, won the 2014 Gayle Wilson Award of Excellence and the 2014 Golden Quill Contest. Her novel A League of Her Own is currently a finalist in the 2015 Booksellers’ Best and National Excellence in Romance Fiction Award contests.
JENNIFER SNOW lives in Edmonton, Alberta, with her husband and five-year-old son. She is a member of the Writers Guild of Alberta, the Romance Writers of America, the Canadian Author Association and shewrites.org. A regular columnist on Working Writers and Writer’s Fun Zone, she is also a contributing author to Mslexia magazine, WestWord magazine and RWR. Her Brookhollow series books have been finalists in the 2014 Golden Quill Contest, the 2014 Heart of Denver Aspen Gold Contest, the 2015 Booksellers’ Best Award, the 2015 Still Moments Magazine Review Awards and the 2015 Gayle Wilson Award of Excellence. Check out jennifersnowauthor.com (http://www.jennifersnowauthor.com).
HEARTWARMING
Winter Wedding Bells
USA TODAY Bestselling Author
The Kiss
Kristine Rolofson
The Wish
Karen Rock
The Promise
Jennifer Snow
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Table of Contents
Cover (#u27785211-fcf9-5dd0-b9d9-282068008470)
Back Cover Text (#u0c4ceb84-a04a-53ec-9937-a72af2021d45)
About the Authors (#u8ed4faf6-94f3-53c2-b110-f41c1017ef4f)
Title Page (#u06a86b81-d607-57c6-9de6-d550954e64b7)
Dedication (#u7860183c-afd4-5bc6-9d52-3a328e59962e)
The Kiss
Dear Reader
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
The Wish
Dedication
Dear Reader (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
The Promise
Dedication (#litres_trial_promo)
Acknowledgments
Dear Reader
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
To Greg, the one who didn’t get away. You’ve had my heart for twenty years and always will.
The Kiss (#u1ff3db30-969a-5950-83e6-c4fdcfdd7463)
Dear Reader (#u1ff3db30-969a-5950-83e6-c4fdcfdd7463),
At the end of fifth grade, my father got a promotion that meant relocating from our Long Island home to Rouses Point, a town in upstate New York. My teacher pulled down a map and grabbed her pointer. She said, “Let’s start where Karen lives now.” Our eyes followed along with the pointer as it trailed up, up, up along the Hudson River, didn’t stop at Albany and continued alongside Lake George and then Lake Champlain, stopping at the very top right corner of New York state.
The class gasped. I held my breath. “Whoa,” “Wow,” “Far out” (it was the late ’70s) exploded in the classroom as my friends crowded the map while I sat frozen at my desk. We weren’t just moving. We were falling off the face of the earth. Little did I know that my suburban sprawl of a life would be transformed into a lush, verdant wilderness filled with otherworldly outdoor beauty. I fell in love with the Adirondacks and have lived here ever since. When we contemplated where to set this anthology, a gorgeous hotel and spa, The Mirror Lake Inn, came to mind, as it’s a veritable winter wonderland on Mirror Lake complete with sleigh rides, skating on the lake, dog-sled rides, snow-covered spruce-tree-lined paths, a roaring fire and cocoa at the ready. I hope you enjoy “living” in my hometown while reading our stories as I do!
Karen Rock
CHAPTER ONE (#u1ff3db30-969a-5950-83e6-c4fdcfdd7463)
JULIE BARRETT STRUGGLED in a net of white tulle, snared like a winter rabbit.
“I can’t breathe.” She threw back her veil, avoiding her reflection in the hotel suite’s mirror as a local seamstress executed Julie’s final wedding-dress fitting. Everything about the gown seemed wrong. Too many seed pearls. Not enough lace. The satin section looked bare. It’d taken her forever to settle on this lace-sleeved, V-neck, princess dress. Was she having second thoughts again or was she cranky from food deprivation?
Her stomach rumbled as she stared at her kettle corn–munching bridesmaids. They lounged on the birch-post bed and wing-back chairs, French doors onto Mirror Lake Lodge’s wraparound porch behind them, icicles hanging from the gabled roof’s eaves. Their perfumes mingled in the rustic yet elegant room, and the floral mix reminded her of a botanical garden. In fact, in their ruby satin gowns, they resembled roses strewn about the floral-wallpapered room, brilliant splashes of color in what would be her wedding suite on Christmas Eve.
Only four days from now...
Her stomach cramped.
Definitely hunger, she reassured herself. She tamped down the jitters that’d become her constant companion lately. With so much going on, who wouldn’t feel nervous? And why, on top of every other bridal task ahead, had she agreed to participate in a winter charity run? Crazy. Or, as her MIA maid of honor, Alexis, would have said, overachieving.
Julie rubbed her throbbing temples. If only Alexis hadn’t missed her flight—she really needed her old college roommate right now. How lucky that Connecticut University had put them in the same dorm their freshman year. Once Alexis sprang into their room clutching an armload of prelaw books, a bag of dipped Oreos dangling from her clenched teeth, Julie’s doubts about leaving her nearby home for a small bit of independence had vanished. Would Alexis work her magic again when she arrived and erase Julie’s butterflies?
Meghan, Julie’s flower girl, bounced to a stop and held up a candy cane. “Want one?” When the little girl grinned, her lone front tooth made her resemble an impish elf. Too cute.
“Yes, but no,” Julie groaned. Her mouth flooded as she breathed in the peppermint sweetness. How long since she’d had sugar? Carbs? A Christmas cookie? She tried not to think about all the holiday treats she’d passed up this month while on her self-imposed wedding diet. If she never saw another salad again, she’d die a happy woman. Then again, with a vegan for a groom, odds were not in her favor. She predicted lots of quinoa in her future...and midnight raids for fast-food burgers, extra guilt on the side.
Julie’s friend and bridesmaid, Claire, joined her daughter, Meghan, and tucked pinecone barrettes in her hair. “You know how we don’t feed animals at the zoo?” Claire murmured. She shot Julie a cheeky grin. “It’s kind of like that.”
Meghan’s eyes widened and she clutched the bag to her chest.
Julie glared at her friend, then gave the little girl a reassuring smile. “Mommy’s kidding, sweetie. She just gets confused sometimes. Like when she doesn’t remember to put cars in Park and they roll into rivers...stuff like that.”
Meghan’s curls bounced around her shoulders as she looked from one woman to the other. Claire made a pfft sound and straightened Julie’s slipping veil.
“The car was twelve years old and insured. Get over it, girl.”
“All my music was in there,” protested Julie. She raised her arms when the seamstress tapped her elbows.
“Right. Like your boy-band collection was irreplaceable.” Claire pulled a tissue from her purse, revealing Meghan’s dimples as she wiped sticky streaks off her child’s face. “Next time I go to a garage sale, I’ll pick up a stack of CDs for a buck. Merry Christmas.”
“Too late. I already downloaded them.” Julie pointed at Laura, her oldest cousin and bridesmaid. “Can you get my iPod?”
“Nooooooo,” Claire moaned. She peered down at Meghan. “I apologize in advance for this, sweetheart.”
In a moment, Julie had the old tunes blasting. The girls giggled and stumbled as they imitated cheesy dance moves—even Claire joined in when Meghan dragged her into the fray. Julie wished she could be down there with them. Cut loose after these stressful months of wedding planning... If not for her hardworking seamstress, Julie would have leaped off the dais and busted a move.
“That has got to be illegal in some states.” Laura laughed. She pulled off her dress to reveal a tank top and shorts, then collapsed on the imitation bear rug in front of a natural-stone fireplace. Flames licked the large logs and shot sparks behind the ornate black grate.
“All the fun stuff is,” drawled Claire.
Julie faked a shocked look and crouched down to Meghan’s height. “I apologize for your mother. Should have done that while you were in her belly.”
“But I wouldn’t have heard you.” Meghan frowned then hugged her mother’s knees. “And I love Mommy.”
Claire shot Julie a triumphant look. “Winning.”
“You always do.”
Julie straightened. When the seamstress grasped the back of the gown and pulled, her lungs inflated, fighting against the unrelenting bodice.
“Tell me again why I picked this torture device in the first place,” she gasped.
“Because for you, making up your mind is, hmm...how shall I put it?” Claire tapped her chin and assumed a thoughtful look.
Meghan tugged at her mother’s bow, unraveling it at the waist. “You said that hockey-puck place would freeze over.”
“What are you teaching your children, Claire?” Julie smirked and tried to ignore the faintness stealing over her as her blood depleted of oxygen.
Claire covered her daughter’s ears. “Shut it, Julie.” She let go of her child. “I wasn’t about to let you walk out of your tenth bridal shop without something—not with the wedding only two months away. I was starting to think you were having second thoughts.”
“Ha! Right.” Julie’s overloud protest sounded as the iPod shuffled to another tune. A beat of silence followed and the members of her bridal party exchanged glances. Julie studied her bow-tipped shoes, her face warm. “This is exactly what I always wanted.”
Why didn’t she sound more convincing? She adored Mason. He was everything she’d ever imagined her future husband would be.
Claire held up a drop pearl and rhinestone earring to Julie’s ear and their eyes met in the mirror. “Whatever makes you happy. You know I always support you. Except when it comes to your appalling taste in music, of course.”
“Of course.” Julie bent over and kissed Claire’s cheek. “Thanks, sweetie.” What would she do without her girlfriends? If not for Claire, she wouldn’t even have a dress. Good thing Alexis had given her the thumbs-up via FaceTime, too, or she and the bridal party might be walking down the aisle in comfy jeans.
Decisions. The bane of her life.
She pulled in another thimbleful of air.
“No deep breaths,” mumbled the woman who jabbed a pin near Julie’s rib cage. “Unless you’re going to faint.”
Julie’s mother, Dianne, peered up from her cell phone, her spindle-thin legs propped on the tan settee. She sent Julie a quelling look. “Stay still, darling.”
“Trying.” Julie locked her shaking knees.
Stay and still. Two words she understood all too well. Hadn’t she remained with her ailing mother after college, eight years ago, rather than follow her first love? She’d planned to join her adventurous ex overseas once she guaranteed that her mother’s newly diagnosed MS was being properly managed. With her father’s time tied up in his demanding medical practice and after-hours free clinic, her mother needed extra support.
Janelle, the nurse’s aide they’d hired, was a stranger at the time and leaving her mother right away felt all kinds of wrong. Plus, she’d thought Austin would wait for her...but he hadn’t. He’d moved on. Her lips firmed. And so had she.
Soon she’d be Mrs. Mason Stanton, a doctor’s wife, just like her mother. It was a sensible future. Practical. Made everyone happy, especially her. She could clearly envision their future. No surprises or unexpected twists like the life Austin had offered. Just simple, uncomplicated love. Beautiful.
So why the unease?
Julie tried not to flinch when another pin stuck her. Her gaze darted out the doors and drifted over frozen Mirror Lake and snow-covered Whiteface Mountain in the distance. Heavy-bellied clouds sprinkled the wintry landscape with white confetti, turning her Lake Placid, New York, destination wedding into a fairy-tale scene.
When would this feel like her happily-ever-after? Probably when she could eat more than twelve hundred calories a day. Only rabbits and Victoria Beckham ate that little. She met her mother’s narrowed eyes and straightened her posture. The lace ending at her elbows itched and her armpits felt damp and hot. Cinderella, she was not.
“Are you getting excited about the wedding?” The seamstress crouched at Julie’s feet now, frowning at the dress’s scalloped hem. “This is a great place to get married.” Julie met her mother’s sudden, intent stare and raised a questioning eyebrow.
“It’s like a winter wonderland,” gushed Ashley, a junior bridesmaid. The young teen twirled and her tulip-shaped dress floated around her knee socks before she collapsed on a velvet footstool. With a shrug, Julie looked away, confused by her mother’s curious behavior. Did mothers of the bride get jitters, too?
“You know,” continued Ashley, “like that old movie you made me watch. What was it? White Holiday?”
“White Christmas,” Julie corrected with a smile. “Sheesh. A little respect for the best holiday romance ever.”
“Danny Kaye looks like Conan O’Brian.” Ashley held up her cell phone screen, then passed it around. Surprised exclamations filled the room.
“This place looks like the lodge from the movie, too,” piped up Laura, handing over the smartphone.
Julie’s nerves settled a bit. Yes. She’d always dreamed of a holiday wedding that reminded her of her favorite Christmas romance. After an exhaustive internet search, she’d been shocked when her mother, who avoided the web as though she believed it held real spiders, found it.
Once Julie had spied this quaint, white clapboard inn nestled amid towering pines and taller mountains, it’d been love at first sight. With its Adirondack-style gazebo, an arched wooden bridge over a small stream and Victorian-farmhouse architecture, it had everything she’d imagined. Yet she couldn’t shake the feeling that she didn’t belong here.
“They look a lot alike,” Julie agreed, though her voice sounded strained, even to her. Everything was perfect...it had to be.
“Better, I’d say.” The seamstress took out a tiny pair of scissors and snipped at loose threads. “Have you seen it lit up at night?”
“It looks like a fairyland Christmas tree.” Laura rolled onto her back and propped her toes on the hearth. “How do they get those twinkle lights everywhere? Even on the chimney tops?”
“Oh, they go all out here for the holidays. You’re a lucky girl, Julie.” The seamstress removed a pin from her mouth and smiled up at her.
“Yes. Very lucky,” her mother said with a measured look that made Julie squirm.
She knew she should respond, but what more was there to say? She was fortunate. Incredibly so. Mason was an amazing man. A catch. They’d been friends growing up in their small Connecticut town and, when he’d joined her father’s family practice, it’d made sense to take their relationship to the next level. Her diamond ring dug into her palm and she unclenched her hands.
She loved knowing exactly what life with steadfast, sincere Mason would be like. Julie had grown up watching her mother and father, and wanted the same future. She hated surprises. Always read book endings before starting them. Searched out spoiler alerts. Religiously followed the outcomes of her pros-and-cons lists—even the one, eight years ago, that tipped the scales and kept her from leaping into the unknown with someone else... from being someone else...the risk taker she’d tried and failed to become while at college.
She bit the inside of her cheek as her vision curled in on itself, dark at the edges. What was wrong with her? She needed some air. Glancing out the window, she noticed a sandy-haired man stretching at the start of a trail run.
He looked just like...
She leaned forward.
Austin?
Curiosity seized her.
“If we’re done, I’d love to go for a run,” Julie blurted out. She helped the seamstress to her feet. The woman nodded and rubbed her knuckles against her lower back.
Julie peered outside again, tracking the broad-shouldered man as he disappeared around a bend. Could it be him? Was she seeing things?
Dianne braced herself on the arm of the settee and rose, slow and slightly unsteady, her eyes trained on her daughter. In a flash, Julie had her arm around her mother’s waist. She left it there until Dianne grasped her walker’s handles. “We still need to finalize the seating charts. And you haven’t okayed the centerpieces.”
“We can do that later. I really need to get out.”
And clear my head, she added silently. See if the man outside is my ex.
She stepped out of her gown and yanked on the running gear she’d brought. Good thing she’d already planned on the jog. As she walked beside her mother through the door, she heard the seamstress barking orders to the rest of the groaning and griping bridal party.
Poor woman. Julie would personally invite her to the reception as a thank-you for taking this job with such little notice. How many guests would that make? Eighty-five? Eighty-six? Even though it wasn’t a huge wedding, with most of their guests staying at the lodge to take advantage of this ski and spa holiday, it felt almost unmanageable. Thank goodness for the lodge’s upbeat, efficient events planner, Grace.
After knocking to ensure her father wasn’t inside and changing, she inserted the old-fashioned key to her parents’ room and led her mother to the bed.
“I don’t need this much help, Julie.” Dianne clamped a hand around the carved headboard and let go of the walker. “When you and Mason get married, there won’t be any need for you to come over after work.”
“Of course I will.” Confusion twisted through Julie. Didn’t her mother want her to check in? Didn’t she appreciate her company on the many nights her father worked late? “What do you mean?”
Dianne kicked off her heels before lying down. “I’m going to ask Janelle to move in with us. She can have your apartment in the guest house and I’ll have full-time care. She needs a place to stay now that her husband’s gone, and you need to focus on Mason. He’s your priority now, isn’t he?” Her mother raised an eyebrow.
Julie thought of the many evenings Mason, too, worked late, and of his weekend squash matches. Mason filled up his own time card. One of the things he said he loved about her was her undemanding nature; he liked his space. As for her, she liked his dependability. His life ran like a solar-powered watch.
“But you need me, Mom.”
“Of course I do, sweetie. Let’s talk it over later.” Dianne yawned, then squeezed Julie’s hand.
“Are you tired?” Concern spiked. Caring for her mother—and the accounting job Mason had encouraged her to quit so she could finally pursue her passion for photography—had been Julie’s life these past eight years. What would it be like when her free time became her own? Her mind ran over the possibilities and came up pathetically empty. The thought of snapping photos of their suburban town’s car wash and minimart didn’t match the dream that had come to her in college of traveling the globe, capturing the essence of foreign cultures through her lens. She’d wanted to be more adventurous then. Another person. Someone she no longer knew...
“I’m a little tired.” A faint smile lifted her mom’s lips. “Would you shut the curtains? I’ll take a nap until you get back.”
“I’ll bring you tea.” Julie checked her watch. “Your medicines will be due then, too.” Julie headed to the window and stared at the forest trail below, hopeful that the Austin look-alike wouldn’t be too far away before she got out there.
“Have a good run, sweetheart.”
Julie kissed her mother, grabbed the chocolate mints off the nightstand and headed outside.
Darn it, she deserved a cheat. All three candies disappeared before she’d descended the large, curved staircase into the vaulted foyer. Ah. Sweet chocolate. If only it cured what ailed her. Hopefully, the exercise would give her the boost she needed.
“Going for a run, Miss Barrett?” asked the attractive, thirtysomething desk clerk. Noelle, Julie recalled.
“Yes. I hope it’s not too cold for it. It snowed earlier.” Julie pulled on her fleece and glanced down at her black spandex leggings.
A boom of laughter erupted from a group of men she recognized as Mason’s out-of-town uncles. They stood before a towering tree made of potted white poinsettias with red berry strings and lighted pinecones woven among them. In the center of the wall rose a two-story stone fireplace. Oversize gold ornaments hung from above, sparkling under the entwined-birch chandelier’s lights.
Beautiful.
A few men glanced over, their eyes lingering on the pretty auburn-haired woman behind the counter. Her pixie features looked as otherworldly as this place.
Without seeming to notice the attention—or was she just used to it?—Noelle consulted a temperature gauge mounted on a tongue-and-groove wall. “Thirty degrees. You’ll be warm in minutes and the snow shower tapered off a few moments ago.”
“Thanks. You haven’t seen Dr. Stanton, have you?”
Mason often lectured her on the damage running inflicted on her knees. She still couldn’t believe he’d agreed to participate in a charity run the day before their wedding even though he disapproved of the sport. But when he’d heard it benefited MS, he’d jumped in, the supportive man who never let her down. After this event, she’d stop, she’d promised him, and she would, once they said their vows. Until then, she’d take every chance she could to push her body through space. There was something primal and liberating about conquering distances with nothing but her feet and her will.
Noelle’s green eyes twinkled. “He’s gone into town with a few of the groomsmen. They mentioned the Tail-of-the-Pup.”
Ah. The pub they’d passed on the drive in. Good for him. As for her, she needed air and hard exertion...and Alexis. If she did run into Austin, it’d be good to have her best friend by her side.
With a wave, she shoved open the leaded-glass doors. Her breath formed white clouds as she stepped onto the pine deck and pulled on her gloves. After a few stretches and jumps to get her blood flowing, she trotted down the hewn-log stairs and passed a sleigh bedecked in Christmas garland and silver bells. Ribbons adorned a white horse’s bridle and a bundled family passed around open thermoses of what smelled like cocoa while jabbering about a trip to Santa’s Village.
She neared the entrance to the trail and soon the dense forest enveloped her. Icy patches crunched under her speeding feet. She moved into the shadows and down narrow paths enclosed by dark spiky weaves of branches, past leaning trunks wrapped with years of ivy, through smells of cold earth and wet layers of leaves. She rounded a bend and jerked to a stop to avoid a man barreling her way.
Something about his sure, athletic stride, the sharp angle of his square jaw and the sculpted chest revealed by his damp T-shirt froze the air in her lungs.
When the tall man pulled up, she angled her head and met warm brown eyes beneath tousled, sandy-blond hair. His eyes widened in recognition and a whole percussion section burst to life in her chest. It was Austin.
She backed against a bare maple, trying to hush the pounding.
For years, she’d told herself she was glad he’d never come for her. But as she studied that familiar, handsome face, her stomach on an elevator ride, she realized that she’d always hoped he would. Most of all, she’d hoped she’d stop hoping for him.
She suddenly recalled something else her mother had offhandedly mentioned when she’d described the merits of Lake Placid. It was where the US Bobsled and Luge team trained before touring the world. The athletes Austin practiced his sports chiropractic on. Somehow she’d forgotten it—repressed it? And now she wondered. Could knowing he might be here have factored into her decision to choose Mirror Lake Lodge? Had she secretly hoped for this encounter? A wave of guilt and confusion crashed over her. Sent her tumbling. Made her gasp for air.
Silence stretched between them. Potent. Seething with unspoken words until she said the one name she thought she’d banished long ago.
“Austin?”
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_ed5dee50-89d9-5367-bf67-57a990f7e4d1)
AUSTIN REYNOLDS HELD his sides and bent at the waist, his pulse racing. What were the odds of running into an ex-girlfriend in this remote spot?
“Julie. What are you doing here?” He forced his gaze away as he straightened, uncomfortable. He knew he was staring. But she was even more beautiful than he remembered. She’d matured, but still resembled an earnest college student, her long, dark hair slipping free of whatever held it, her brown eyes large and tilted upward, lashes so thick they looked wet.
And her chin. How many times had he traced it? Kissed it? Marveled at the soft skin that belied its strong jut? He shook off those memories like gathered dust and studied the peeling white bark on a birch clump. Anything to refocus him. To stop this instant prickling awareness...the rush of old feelings made new again just at the sight of her.
She ran a finger under her wristband, her teeth appearing on her bottom lip. “I’m...uh...getting married.”
Her eyes swerved to his for a brief moment, and her brows rose, challenging. In the distance, a raven’s caw echoed.
“Congratulations.” His overloud voice startled a cardinal from its perch, the bird’s flight a scarlet slash against the snowy landscape. After tracking its path, their gazes met again, then slid away. A chill ran through his heart. Julie? Married? But that meant taking a leap of faith...something she’d never been willing to do for him. “You must be happy.”
“Of course!” Her short, straight nose curled the way it always had when she fibbed. Funny how he remembered little things like that. He stepped close enough to see the faint, crosshatch scars beneath her right eye. The result of a tree house fall when she was ten, he recalled.
“Of course,” he repeated, reeling. Why was this news affecting him? He’d moved on long ago.
There was a long, electrifying pause before a brittle silence descended.
“Well. This isn’t even a little bit uncomfortable,” she observed at last, her full lips in a wry twist. For the first time, she met his gaze straight on and the impact made his lungs close up. Wariness curled like smoke in Julie’s eyes, but her expression hadn’t changed.
“Nah. Not at all,” he replied when his breath returned. He was intrigued, despite himself. With the lodge close, his escape route was steps away, yet he was seized by the desire to linger. He’d missed her sarcastic, quirky personality, he realized. What harm could come from a few exchanged words? They were nothing to each other now.
“Are you training here?” She laced her fingers into a hammock that swung in front of her hips.
“We’re here for a few months before touring. How did you know?” he asked, taken aback.
“I think my mother might have mentioned it.” Oddly, guilt flashed in her eyes before she dropped them.
“I didn’t know she followed winter sports.” Now that he had stopped moving, the cold air settled over his arms, raising bumps.
She put on a smile that wasn’t really a smile. “Who knows what my mother’s into lately,” she mused, her voice far away.
“Who knows what anyone’s into,” he muttered. Julie. Getting married. The concept gnawed at his gut. Why was this bugging him?
Her smile faded as he peered at her and he cursed himself for that revealing slip. “So when’s the wedding? I would have thought you’d have it at home.” He only partially succeeded in keeping the bitterness out of his voice. She’d never been willing to leave Connecticut for him...
Water under the bridge.
She slowly raised her downcast gaze. “I’m getting married at the Mirror Lake Lodge on Christmas Eve.”
His eyes flew to her left hand, a lump on her ring finger visible beneath her glove. “Congratulations. Who’s the lucky guy?” A very lucky guy, he had to admit, staring at her lovely face.
“Mason Stanton. He’s a doctor in my father’s practice.” Something lay across her voice, a long shadow. In the gray light, her skin looked pale. Not exactly a glowing bride. Then again, he supposed standing outside in below-freezing temperatures wouldn’t put him in the mood to gush, either. Especially with an ex.
“Sounds like you got what you wanted, then.” After four years together, and almost another year of long distance waiting, he’d finally realized they didn’t want the same things.
“Yes.” She rubbed her arms and jumped a little, her breath a foggy mist. The whine of Ski-Doos grew louder as a pair of the machines flashed by, deep in the woods. “How about you. Married?”
“No. Haven’t met the right lady.” He felt a pang of regret when he saw her slight wince. “Plus, I’m never in one place long enough. The team’s tour schedule is demanding, though it’s nice when we settle here for training.”
“It’s hard to imagine you ever staying in one place,” she quipped, her eyes searching his.
“It’s hard to imagine you leaving one.”
An electric charge singed the air and neither looked away. After a moment she coughed lightly into her glove, her eyes skittering sideways. “People change.”
“Not as much as we think,” he observed grimly. Something made him want to call her out. Her stubborn denial of the facts, the way she balked at risk, never took chances—on him or anything—it jabbed under his breastbone. Hard.
Her politeness melted. Suddenly there was fire in her eyes.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
When he spoke, white puffs accentuated every word. “Come on, Julie... Marrying a doctor like your father? One who also lives in Connecticut and works in your family’s practice? What kind of change is that?”
Obviously she wanted a rerun of her childhood. Not the life he’d offered her when he’d taken a sports chiropractic and strength-training position with a Swiss team all those years ago.
Julie’s face froze, and slowly, imperceptibly, her body shrank back. “You don’t know anything about me anymore.”
He grimaced and wished he could take back that pointless rant. “You’re right. This is stupid. I’m—I’m happy for you. Glad we met up.” He dropped to one knee and tightened an unraveled shoelace, hiding his face.
Julie let out a long, shuddering breath. “Me, too. So do you live in Lake Placid?”
“I just sold my apartment, so I’m staying at the Mirror Lake Lodge until my condo is finished. It’s a new construction near Mount Van Hoevenberg. An easy commute to work.” He forced a neutral tone. Made himself take it down a notch. They weren’t new exes quibbling over who took custody of the dog.
The winter sun emerged through its cloud coverage and pierced the thick boughs around them, throwing patterns of light across her delicate profile, her skin tight around her mouth. “So you’re staying here?”
“It’s not like I’ll be in your way.” In fact, now that he knew she’d be getting married there, he’d spend more time than ever at the Olympics office or on the mountain. Anywhere but near the woman who’d found the happiness she’d denied him.
Her gold-toned skin grew pink. “I wasn’t worried about that.” The nose curl. Again. “It’s good seeing you.”
She turned back toward the trail curve, ready to disappear from his life again. And he’d let her now as he had before. It’d been the right choice when he’d made it years ago.
“Same. Good luck with everything.”
Her brows lowered and she nodded slowly. As if she needed that luck. Or was that just his imagination again? Darn it. She was happy. Leave her be.
Leave them both be.
With a wave, she jogged off. He watched the long-legged strides that carried her away, an emptiness rising in him as she vanished around the corner. Odd as it’d been to see her here after so long, it felt as though they’d picked up right where they’d left off...and that wasn’t a good place.
He didn’t miss her. So why was it so hard to watch her go?
* * *
LATER THAT EVENING, Julie pressed a hand to her rumbling stomach and looked up from her red rice cake entrée at a loud clanging sound beside her. Mason stood, trim and dapper in a pin-striped suit, pinging his cake fork against his wineglass. He looked as though he belonged in the elegant Teddy Roosevelt era in which Mirror Lake Lodge’s The View restaurant had been built. She tried imagining him in the outdoors, sweating despite the cold, exertion brightening his eyes the way it had Austin’s. She failed.
Austin... Mason... How similar their names were. Was that a coincidence or another connection to Austin she’d repressed? It still rankled that she’d somehow picked the one wedding venue where she might cross paths with her moving target of an ex. It couldn’t mean anything, surely.
She pressed her lips together and shook off her traitorous thoughts. She’d left her ex on the trail. He had no place here.
Hickory panels reached from floor to ceiling and surrounded massive inlaid fireplaces that popped and crackled at either end of the long, elegant room. A moose head mounted above one mantel was reflected in the large Victorian mirror atop the opposite hearth. Christmas trees in each corner fragranced the air with fresh evergreen, the merry glow of their miniature lights competing with the carved pineapple and scrolled chandeliers. This long-anticipated event should feel as special as it looked, but her run-in with Austin had shaken her confidence.
Mason wasn’t an extension of her old life as Austin had suggested. She’d expected her ex to be impressed with her big news, maybe feel regretful that he’d given up on her so quickly. Instead, he’d pointed out how little she’d changed. Told her she still played it safe.
Completely wrong.
She glanced between her father and Mason and mutinously buttered a bread roll.
Way off base.
Mason cleared his throat and raised his glass higher, clanging.
Oblivious, the relatives invited to this private dinner continued to chatter. They sat on upholstered chairs around cloth-covered tables that broke up the red-and-white-diamond pattern on the carpet. Julie met her mother’s eyes across the table, her expression as surprised as Julie felt. Her father, on the other hand, rubbed his bald patch in that way he did whenever he got excited.
Julie glanced up at Mason. “What’s going on?” She pitched her voice low, the way he preferred. Funny how, until they’d begun dating, she hadn’t noticed how loud she spoke in public places, especially at movie theaters...
“Patience. Patience.” Mason’s blue eyes viewed her with the familiar chiding and indulgent expression he seemed to reserve for her. He brushed a hand over the meticulously cropped blond hair that framed his round face. “It’s a surprise. And I wouldn’t do this to you if it wasn’t such a big one. I want it to be special.”
Julie’s wine burned down her esophagus, the alcohol and lack of real food making her light-headed. She detested being caught off guard. Mason knew that. What could this be?
The relentless clanging had finally quieted the boisterous group—only the soft jazz versions of Christmas tunes weaved through the room. Mason flashed his boy-next-door smile.
“First, I’d like to thank all of you for being here to celebrate the happiest moment of my life.”
Cheers broke out and Julie’s gut twisted. A glass of wine had not settled her jitters and her chance meeting with Austin hadn’t helped matters, either. After attending to her mother, she’d put off the seating chart once again and collapsed in her room, hoping to banish memories of boyfriends past. Boyfriend, she corrected herself.
“To kick off our wedding countdown, I want to present Julie with a very special gift in front of all of you.”
Julie grew warm as thirty or so pairs of eyes studied her. Did she look excited? Happy? Not as if someone had just scrambled the meager contents of her stomach? At a gentle, under-the-table kick from her mother, Julie forced her mouth into a smile, the rest of her face numb.
Please, oh please, let it be something she liked. She was the absolute worst at faking.
“Darling, would you stand?”
Julie drained the last of her wine, rose and gripped the table’s edge.
Mason draped an arm across an easel behind them, an empty canvas covering something framed. She’d noticed it earlier but assumed it belonged to the restaurant. A painting they had yet to hang.
Could the present be something as innocuous as a picture? Her chest loosened. Possibly. Mason referred to his condo as a bachelor pad. Maybe this was his way of bringing her eclectic style into the austere space. Still, without her opinion, how would he know she’d like it? The instant the question occurred to her, she answered it.
He usually jumped in and chose for her when he saw her waver, unlike Austin, who’d always insisted she make up her own mind.
A loud crash sounded behind her and everyone jumped as a blushing waitress bent down to pick up the overturned easel.
Mason quickly moved between them, blocking Julie’s view. “Just a second, folks,” he remarked, his face still wreathed in an excited smile.
“I’m so sorry!” cried the young woman.
“It’s fine,” Mason assured, his tone confident, He always made it easy to follow his lead since he seemed so certain of what was best...especially when she never could be sure what she wanted. Lately, though, it’d begun to grate as the choices grew more important, his will more vocal. Of course, they wanted the same things...but should he always assume as much? He seemed to think her approval was guaranteed.
No. Taking a while to make up her mind didn’t mean others could race ahead and decide for her. But she’d let that happen with Mason. And it had to stop.
Finally, with a flourish, Mason ripped off the covering to reveal a real-estate picture of a near replica of her parents’ house. Colonial blue, though, instead of white. The word Sold was scrawled across the top.
What?
She glanced between her beaming father and an expectant Mason.
“This is our new house, Julie. Where we’ll raise our family. Soon, I hope.” He winked and squeezed her cold hands.
“But how?” she managed to say, her mind hurtling through thought after thought, too fast to make sense of it all. The room exploded into cheers and applause. Mason’s disabled veteran brother, Michael, punched the air with his remaining arm and circled it, whooping.
A bit of light faded from Mason’s eyes, but his smile stayed strong. “I found it around the corner from your parents’ house after Thanksgiving. The owner’s Mrs. Beele. You know her, right? She was struggling to wrap garland around her banister, and when I stopped to help, she mentioned this would be her last year decorating since she planned to sell. I got ahold of her real-estate agent, made an offer and the rest is history.”
“I didn’t know Margaret was selling,” Dianne said in a low voice to her husband, her eyes narrow. “Did you put him up to this?” she hissed under her breath, her voice barely audible.
“Mason came to me and asked that I keep it quiet until now.” Julie’s dad slipped his arm around his wife’s rigid shoulders. “Julie, I know how much you’ve always loved our house, and since this one is so similar and you’ll be in the same neighborhood, well, I knew you’d be happy with this surprise. No risk at all,” crowed her clueless dad.
Julie looked down at her hands, hiding behind her eyelids. Wasn’t that exactly the problem, though? No risk. Nothing unexpected. Of course this would be her home. The predictability should comfort her. No unknown variables in this equation.
Yet she took a step back from the picture and dropped Mason’s hands. The sounds in the room grew muffled, the tapering applause snuffed out by her drumming heart.
She didn’t want this.
The thought squirmed in her spine, poked her up from the carpet. No equivocation. No what-ifs. She did. Not. Want. That. House. Her certainty startled her—the shock felt like a splinter jamming under a nail.
“Julie. Are you okay? Would you like some water?” Mason sounded concerned as he leaned close, his musk overwhelming.
“No. Not okay,” she mumbled, her voice tamped down to a whisper. Austin would have insisted she have a say in their future home. And as much as she would have struggled with making such a difficult choice, she would have preferred it to this. Another traitorous thought.
“I don’t understand. It’s what we always talked about. Exactly what you said you wanted.” Mason rubbed her bare arms exposed by her sleeveless black dress.
Had she? Mason must be right, but at this moment, she couldn’t agree. Her gaze ran over the Cape Cod–style home, a red maple tree in the front yard, a curved walkway up to the stone entrance steps. A colorful grapevine wreath hung on the welcoming door and a brass mailbox rested beside the doorbell.
She could have drawn this home in her sleep. She fast-forwarded through her life with Mason in her mind. A couple of years when she decorated the house and they took exotic vacations, the eventual decision to start a family, her struggle to raise the infants then toddlers alone while Mason worked, and the loneliness when the children went to school and Mason grew increasingly preoccupied with his demanding schedule. Day after predictable day. The weight of her future crushed her as she saw how it, and she, would turn out.
She studied the photograph. It wasn’t a pretty picture. Not to her. There was a danger to knowing how it all ended.
Her gaze swept to the French doors and windows along one wall of the restaurant. The dark night outside was just the escape she needed.
“I’m so sorry. Excuse me. I need air.” She turned, but Mason’s hand halted her flight.
He ducked in front of her and led her outside, his hand on the small of her back. The arrival of tiramisu diverted the open-mouthed guests, covering their flight. Nevertheless, Julie sensed her mother’s eyes following her. What must her parents be thinking? She couldn’t disappoint them...but she wouldn’t be untrue to herself, either.
This rejection of the house was the first absolute decision she’d made in a long time and it felt right. But it went deeper than that. She didn’t want the life that went with it, either. Did that include Mason? It seemed impossible to separate the two.
Outside, the cold wrapped its frosty fingers around her and made her shiver, the night sky clear and frozen and smelling of pine.
“Julie. What happened in there? I thought you’d love it. Do you want another house?”
She jerked away when Mason pulled her close.
“No.”
His fair brows crashed together. “So you want the house?”
“No.”
“No,” Mason repeated. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, his eyes searching the stars. “No, as in you don’t want me to buy another house? No, as in you don’t want me? Don’t want to get married?” His voice broke.
“I don’t know,” she whispered, each word sawing through her. What was she doing? She had to take this back before she threw away another chance at happiness.
“This is nerves,” vowed Mason. “You’ve always trusted me before. Believe me now.” He pinned her with a pleading look. “This is the life you want. I’m the one you chose. I’ll devote every day to making you happy and you’ll never worry about a thing. Ever. I guarantee it.”
“That’s the problem. What if I don’t want guarantees? What if I’d rather not know every day will be perfect?” she blurted out, cringing at her ridiculous line of thinking. Who wouldn’t want to know they’d be happy? Yet a tectonic shift had rocked her foundation when she’d glimpsed the picture. It shook her notion that familiar was better.
Mason closed his eyes. His chest rose and fell as he breathed. “I’ve worked hard to give you the life—and the love—you deserve. Don’t you love me, Julie?”
When his lids lifted, she met his tortured gaze. She was looking at a stranger. One she’d known all her life. How odd, but there it was. She’d grown up with the bright, optimistic boy who’d followed her to school on his bike every day to make sure she arrived safely. Had met him, anew, when he’d returned from medical school as a confident, assured young man. Stable. Ready to put down roots. Everything she’d desired at the time, only...now that she had seen the picture—physical, tangible proof of the life they’d planned—she wasn’t sure she wanted it, after all.
“Julie? Do you love me?” he repeated, his voice husky and heavy, as though he spoke underwater.
She backed away, her hand on the railing, ruffling the lighted garland wrapped around it. “I’m sorry, Mason. I don’t know about anything right now. I’m a mess.” A sucking feeling filled her chest, like water draining.
He reached for her, then dropped his arms, hands swinging at the wrists like deadweight. “You’re confused. Under pressure. Just tell me what you want. Anything.”
“Space. Time. I—” She glanced behind her at the stairs leading down to the parking lot. “I need to get away. Okay?”
Mason’s shoulders sagged. She’d never seen him look so frightened. The hot spot of pain in her chest expanded. She’d hurt him and she hated that, but it was important to figure out what she wanted before she hurt a good man even more.
“Okay.” He shrugged off his jacket and handed it to her along with his cell phone and car keys. “Take care of yourself. Precious cargo.” His strained voice distorted their old joke.
“I will.” On impulse, she kissed his cheek, her gut aching, before racing down the stairs and into the dark. Time to start taking care of herself. Make her own decisions. Had this first one been a colossal mistake?
She jogged to his Saab, then stopped. Sitting in his car wasn’t the distance she really needed. She paused, thinking hard.
“Julie?”
At the familiar voice, she turned and nearly dropped the cell phone. Austin. Twice in one day. Under the replica gaslights, shadows pooled beneath his high cheekbones. His slanted brows knitted as he gazed steadily down at her.
“Are you okay? I saw you up on the deck.” His eyes dropped and a muscle jumped in his jaw. “You looked upset, so I thought I’d wait and make sure.”
“Yes. Fine. Peachy. Couldn’t be—”
He pressed a finger to her mouth, stopping her hysterical torrent.
“No you’re not. Who can I get for you?”
Julie imagined her mother and father, confused and worried when Mason returned without her. They adored him. Would only talk over her until she gave up again and let others call the shots in her life.
Claire?
Julie could knock on her friend’s door but knew Claire had put her overexcited daughter to bed early.
If only Alexis hadn’t missed her plane. She knew Julie better than anyone...the person who’d battled her doubts and overcame some of them while at college. Where had that version of herself gone? It’d been too easy to give up the fight once she’d returned home and retreated into the comfort of her old, predictable life.
Austin cupped her chin and lifted it, the feel of his strong hand calming the aftershocks trembling through her.
“What can I do for you?”
“Nothing. Please go.” She raced into the ground-floor lobby and stopped at the front desk with no real plan in mind.
Noelle slipped on her coat as another clerk took her place behind the counter.
“Would you ring room 22B and tell my, I mean, tell Mason Stanton that his coat and phone are down here?”
The young male clerk stared at Julie until Noelle brushed by him and efficiently bundled the items and set them on the counter behind her. “Is there anything else we can do for you?”
At the woman’s kind expression, Julie’s eyes grew damp. “Please tell my mother I’ll be back soon.”
“You’re not going out without a jacket,” exclaimed Noelle. She pulled open a door behind her, then returned with a long wool coat. “This has been in the lost and found for over a year. Take it.”
“Thank you.” Grateful, Julie slid her arms in the sleeves, buttoned up and stepped outside, unsure how far she’d get in her heels. Still, the crisp air revived her. Slowed her racing heart. Maybe she’d just circle the facility until she was sure her parents and Mason had given up and gone to bed.
Two steps out the door and Austin was beside her.
“You’re still here,” she exclaimed.
Austin let out a long breath. “Can’t think why.”
“I don’t need your help.”
“Doesn’t look that way to me.”
Her stomach grumbled and suddenly she knew what he could do for her. They’d been apart eight years. Surely, like her, he didn’t harbor old feelings...
“Do you know where the nearest fast-food place is?”
His lopsided smile appeared as he took in her fancy attire. “You’re a little underdressed, but I’ll take you. I’m headed in that direction anyway—I need to reset the alarm at the luge facility. Come along if you like.”
There it was. A choice. She could go back to her red rice cake, jazz music and lovely Mason, or join the man who’d once broken her heart and gorge on an artery-clogging meal.
She hesitated.
Before she finished considering, the answer leapfrogged over her doubts. A jump into the unknown. At last.
“Yes.”
CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_543d5b38-e4e6-549f-8c99-53970f1bb01b)
AUSTIN ENDED HIS call with Security, resisting the urge to look back at the warming shed, where he’d left Julie. He peered up at the steep luge run, a chilly gust stinging his cheeks. In the sky, the enormous moon hung white and luminous. The visibility assured him nothing haunted the track but the wind. It whistled along the white pipe that wound from the top of snow-covered Mount Van Hoevenberg and ended at the spot where he sometimes crouched, radar gun in hand.
With the world championships coming up in a couple of months, the team had been pushing hard. Their world was measured in minuscule increments that amounted to monumental variations. A hundredth of a second meant the difference between international acclaim and obscurity. And he wanted each of the lugers to earn that chance.
But life guaranteed nothing.
Most of all, love. His nightstand drawer had once guarded an engagement ring and a nearly memorized proposal speech. Each time Julie promised to join him in Switzerland, he’d removed both. When she gave another excuse, he returned them to the darkness of their hiding place, his hopes banished with them—until finally they left him altogether.
Yet he’d never stop taking risks when it came to the rest of his life. Would always throw himself headlong into whatever came next. Not knowing what loomed around the bend made living in the moment exciting. If only Julie shared that philosophy. He’d begged her to join him for over a year, before he finally heard her postponements for what they were: rejection. She didn’t want his gypsy life.
Snow rose above his ankles as he approached her. She sat on a bench outside the warming hut, white and dazed looking. He couldn’t look away. Why had she fled the lodge? From what, or from whom, did she want to escape? Not that it was his business. Yet the time between them fell away when he was near the woman he’d once loved. Broken promises or not, he wanted to help. Figure out what changed since he’d encountered the bride-to-be on the trail. Sure, she’d looked preoccupied. But he’d assumed she was uncomfortable seeing him. Now he suspected the problem went deeper.
“All set?” Julie swallowed the last bite of a cheeseburger—her second—and stood. She always ate more when stressed, he recalled.
“Looks fine. Just the wind triggering the motion detectors. How about you? Ready to go back?”
Her bag of empty fast-food containers swung at her side and the moon turned in her eyes. In the crackle-cold air, she resembled an ice carving of herself. Brittle. Frozen. Chipped away one shaving at a time.
A bright white silence floated down the mountain, too big for him to burst. He tamped down the questions rising inside and waited for her to speak.
“No. Not ready,” she whispered at last, her voice snuffly. Long, dark strands whipped across her oval face, obscuring her expression. The aroma of pine, balsam and holly berry floated on the arctic current swooping from the north.
Against his better judgment, he reached her in two steps and guided them back to the bench. “What’s going on, Julie?”
Her back curved and she dropped her head, her hair falling across her face, shielding it like a curtain. “I don’t know,” she groaned into her fingers.
“Are you having second thoughts? Is your groom?” The last word tasted bitter on his tongue. Despite the years that had passed, he couldn’t picture her with anyone else. Couldn’t imagine another man holding her. Loving her the way he once had.
“I don’t know what I want. Sound familiar?” She peered up at him through strands of hair, her arms clutching her gut.
“Yes,” he blurted out, regretting his harsh reply the moment it left his mouth.
She shot to her feet. “I shouldn’t be doing this. Complaining to you, of all people. I need to go back. Face the music, or quinoa...or...or...”
He stood and twined his hands in hers, the soft pressure of her palms warming him despite the dropping temperature. Around them, ice crystals falling from trees tinkled like Christmas bells. “We’ll go back when you’re ready. No rush to face quin-whatever. I’m here for you, Julie. We were friends, once.”
“More,” she whispered, her eyes anguished and wide as they searched his.
“But you didn’t want more,” he forced himself to say. His voice firm. Steady. “You wanted Connecticut. Your home. It took me a while, but I finally understood. I’m not holding any grudges. Talk to me and maybe I can help. Give you perspective as an old boyfriend.”
“Why would you do that?” She lobbed her bag in a nearby trash can.
“Because I care.” There. The truth. Something he hadn’t admitted, even to himself, until now.
“Oh.”
A shiver swayed them.
“Did you and your fiancé argue?” He tucked a silken lock behind her ear, resisting the urge to cup her cold face.
She collapsed on the bench again. A cut-string marionette. “He gave me a picture.”
He sat and stared. Puzzled. “As in a Paint-by-Number? A velvet painting of Elvis? Classic.”
She laughed. She had a good laugh—rich, open. It rang through the hollow spaces inside him.
“I might have liked that,” she said, a wry flip to the corner of her mouth. “But the picture was of a house. One he bought for us.”
“That’s a nice surprise—” He stumbled on the last word, finally understanding. “And you hate surprises.”
She fiddled with the top button of her navy coat, drawing the lapel tight around her neck. “But it was more than that,” she said to the distant mishmash of trees that had taken centuries to grow—birch, oak, spruce. “It looked exactly like my parents’ house.”
“You love living there.”
“I know. That’s what’s crazy. When I saw it, I pictured everything. Every day of the rest of my life. And I didn’t like what I saw.” Julie turned her head toward him, and the slice he could see revealed a tense jaw and the faraway sheen of one eye.
“What about your fiancé?”
The breeze moved through laden boughs, showering the earth with snow and ice. Over the tumult, his pulse thrummed, filling his ears. Did he want her to break things off? Reopen a door for him to step through again?
As he studied her delicate profile, the answer slammed his gut, as if it’d waited, all these years, to be asked.
Yes.
He still loved Julie. Despite it all. But because of her indecisive nature, he knew he could never trust her again.
“I don’t know.”
He handed her a tissue and she swiped at her running nose. “I’m such a mess. I ruined everything. Everyone. I hurt you.” She peered upward. An under-the-lashes look at him. “Now I’m breaking Mason’s heart. My parents’. I’m a—a—succubus.”
He chuckled. Couldn’t help it. She’d learned that term in a mythology class and they’d found every excuse to work it into conversations the entire semester.
But his mirth dried up when she dashed a tear away.
He cradled her face with both hands and met her eyes, gazing at her steadily until her breathing steadied. “You’re not a succubus. What you are is confused. Indecisive. Cautious. A bit of a glutton. And a pack rat with appalling taste in music, if I’m honest.”
A short laugh ended in a watery gulp. “Stop sweet-talking me.”
“Haven’t even gotten started.” He smiled, warming to the topic. “You’re also smart, funny—especially when you don’t mean to be—caring, loyal, and you have the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met.”
“Oh, Austin.” She sighed. Her eyes glistened, tears suspended on her eyelashes. “What am I going to do?”
“What you want. Life is full of second chances. Give yourself one.”
“Even if it means hurting other people?”
His thumbs skimmed the soft underside of her chin. “Off like a bandage. One rip and it’s over. Trust me. It’s kinder that way.”
“Unlike us.” Her mouth twisted. “I held on until you peeled away.”
He leaned close. Breathed in the vanilla scent of her, sharp, sweet, wonderful. “I never really left.”
Before he could stop himself, he weaved his fingers through Julie’s hair, lifted it so that it fell strand by strand. She turned her head and only a breath separated her lips from his arm. Time seemed to hold still. Every minute spanned a million years.
Austin cupped Julie’s cheeks and her eyes closed. Moonlight ran down her neck like water. She moved closer, her face tilting, lips opening and, unable to resist, he captured her mouth and kissed her. The sweet taste of her exploded on his tongue, electricity jolting wildly through him, heat bursting in his belly.
The years apart dissolved and he lost himself in the moment. Everything gone but the feel of her pressed to him, her lips against his jaw as he nibbled on her ear.
“I’ve missed you,” he groaned, realizing he’d been fooling himself into thinking he hadn’t. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” He rested his forehead against her temple and breathed. “So long. You’re just—”
When he stroked her jaw, she jerked back, blinking.
It seemed as if she was going to say something, but no words came when she opened her mouth. She dropped her head in her hands, unable to conceal how her features had all squeezed shut, or the pain leaking out of every part of her face.
Austin heard a rustling in the bushes. A pair of red eyes blinked before vanishing again—a witness to his crime. Austin’s stomach churned with guilt.
“No. No no no no no.” Julie bolted to her feet and backed away before fleeing to the parking lot so fast it looked as if her feet were on fire.
Knife stab, center chest. Did he say knife? It was more like an ice pick. He felt pinned to this awful moment like a dead insect. Why had he kissed her? Taken advantage of her weak moment?
His shoulders bowed, laden with guilt.
* * *
JULIE KICKED OFF her shoes the next day, drew her knees to her chest and rested her heels on the edge of one of the hotel’s overstuffed library chairs. Her eyes drifted across the books packing the floor-to-ceiling shelves, the worn leather jackets as old as the lodge. How many lives did they chronicle? Love stories that triumphed and those that failed...like hers...again.
Air spun out of her. It disturbed the dust motes floating in the column of early afternoon light emitted by the gingerbread stained-glass windows. With a warm fire sparking to life in the brick hearth, a wicker basket of white-paper birch logs beside it, this should be a soothing spot. Exactly why she’d escaped here after ending her engagement with Mason, the two of them breaking the news to their shocked parents and announcing the canceled wedding to the bridal party and guests assembled for breakfast. Their event planner, Grace, had lived up to her name, calmly assuring them that she would handle everything and not to worry.
But how could Julie stop worrying when Mason looked so flattened? It broke her heart to hurt him, but he deserved better than a woman who’d kiss another man just days before her wedding.
Out in the hall, a group of adults and children passed by the open doorway singing “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” Julie sank into the chair, grateful when they passed without missing a note. Christmas. How happy they sounded. The merry family she’d longed to form...only not with Mason, after all.
After tossing and turning all night, she’d showered and dressed. Exhausted but certain. Kissing Austin last night had been a mistake in every way but one. It had proved that she couldn’t marry one man when she so easily returned the affections of another. It wasn’t fair to Mason.
She’d blamed jitters for her doubts. The version of married life she’d glimpsed in the picture, making her question what she’d wanted...
In Austin’s arms, however, her ambivalence evaporated. For a heart-stopping instant the world clicked into place, her worries about the unknown silenced as she reveled in that moment with him. Everything in her had gone quiet and peaceful and right...like walking into a familiar house where she recognized everything. Could find her way around in the dark...
She pressed her palms against her eyelids, and her tense shoulders rose. She was a horrible, horrible person. Had betrayed Mason, a wonderful man. Reality was crushing and the world was a wrong-size shoe. How could anyone stand it? How could she?
An old lit class quote came to her. The heart wants what it wants.
Nevertheless, she knew better than to selfishly hurt others.
On the other hand, if she hadn’t kissed Austin, she might have strung Mason along as she had Austin, drowning them both in her uncertainty. No. As Austin had said, better to get the pain over with fast. As much as it had hurt to tell Mason, a small part of her felt better for the clean break, especially after she’d told him the truth about kissing Austin.
For Mason, that was nonnegotiable—as it should be. He deserved better and he’d find it.
Now, if only she could find Alexis, who was still grappling with her transit issues and wouldn’t arrive until later today. She desperately needed to talk to a friend, but even Claire had been unavailable, unable to leave Meghan who’d woken with a bad asthma attack.
Julie pulled down the afghan draped across the chair top and tucked herself into its square corners.
When she’d left Mason, his cousins were corralling him into a snowshoeing trip and he’d looked more than ready to get away. Since he missed today’s checkout time, he, his family and her father would stay another night and leave by eleven tomorrow.
It stung that her dad would abandon her. But she understood when he’d explained that he felt guilty about leaving the free medical clinic a doctor short now that the wedding was off. He’d insisted she and her mother stay until Christmas Eve, however, since the inn’s spa treatments helped her mother’s MS symptoms. At least some good would come out of this, he’d sighed, after giving her a kiss.
At the low squeak of an opening door, she turned. Noelle pushed a stainless-steel cart laden with domed plates and a teapot. She wore a gorgeous outfit. A striped straight skirt. Vintage floral sweater. Red leather belt. Paisley scarf championed with attitude. Her auburn hair swished around her beautiful, serene face and filled Julie with longing. What she would give for that inner peace.
“I’m on break and thought I’d stop by. Bring you some tea and scones.”
Julie returned the woman’s kind smile, her mouth trembling with the effort. “I’m not hungry, but thanks.”
Still, her nose twitched at the tart cranberry smell when Noelle drew closer and pulled off a metal top to reveal a grilled panini and Caesar salad, as well.
“Just a little something? Our chef, Dominic Vitelli, made these. He had that cooking show...”
Julie perked up. Of course, she’d heard of the celebrity chef. He’d hosted a reality food show, one of her favorite programs. She grabbed a warm scone and nibbled on the crunchy top, the sweet, sharp taste making her suck in her cheeks and savor the treat before she swallowed.
“Wow. Really good. I can’t believe I’m eating something made by Dominic Vitelli. Why is he in Lake Placid? Did his show get canceled?” Despite her problems, her curiosity was piqued.
“May I?” Noelle gestured to the seat opposite Julie and sat when she nodded. “Personal issues, I think, but he seems happy. How about you? Are you doing okay? I’m sorry about what happened.”
The baked good dried on Julie’s tongue. She poured two cups of tea and gulped the orange-flavored liquid before answering. Not that she knew what to say...
The events leading up to this crisis seemed unreal. Fantastical. Not at all the measured, logical steps she’d used to march through most of her life. Why had she kissed Austin?
Because I wanted to came the unbidden thought.
Her racing thoughts roiled inside her and flew from her mouth before she could stop them.
“I kissed another man last night.”
Julie studied Noelle’s face, wanting the condemnation she deserved. The desk clerk’s expression, however, remained serene.
“Austin Reynolds.”
Julie gaped at the woman. How did she know?
Noelle patted Julie’s knee. “I saw him come in shortly after you left for your jog and he looked as if he’d seen a ghost. Then, when I went out to my car last night, I watched you leave together. Guessed you were friends or more.”
“More.” Julie traced the rim of her porcelain teacup. “We were supposed to get married after college but I kept putting it off. At first I needed to stay home to care for my mother. I planned to eventually join him on the road and follow his team as a photographer. It was a passion of mine, even though I’d gotten the accounting degree my parents wanted.”
Noelle studied Julie over her raised cup. “But you never went.”
Julie crammed another bite into her mouth, chewing and thinking. “I wanted to.”
“So what stopped you?”
A log popped, making both women jump. Julie stared at the growing flames, the heat blazing along the calves exposed by her knee-length skirt.
“I don’t know.” Julie shoved back the hair that slipped out of her low bun. “Fear maybe. Doubt. But I never stopped loving him.”
The truth of each word stung, realization buzzing through her. Strange how she could be so honest with Noelle—more truthful than she’d been with herself.
“And now you have another chance.” Noelle leaned forward and grasped Julie’s clammy hands. “Don’t squander it.”
Something in Julie’s chest collapsed. “I could never be with someone like him permanently.”
“And what’s he like?”
“Spontaneous, daring...terrifying.”
“Why not?”
“Because I never know what’s going to happen around him. What our future would be like. After last night, I knew what I didn’t want, but I still don’t feel comfortable with the unknown.” Her heart left, hitchhiked right out her body, caught the gondola ride up Whiteface and leaped from the pinnacle.
“It keeps things interesting,” observed Noelle. She pulled out her buzzing cell phone, checked the message and then clicked it off.
Julie compared her whirlwind days with Austin to the comfort of her routine with Mason.
“Yes,” Julie admitted. “It did.”
“Let me show you something.” Noelle scrolled to a screen on her cell phone and handed it to Julie. “That’s my ten-year-old. Josh.”
Julie stared at the sandy-haired boy, and her lips curved at his impish grin. More freckles than skin covered his thin face and cowlicks sprouted from his hairline. His green eyes resembled his mother’s. Otherwise, he must take after his father. A quick peek at Noelle’s ring finger revealed a vintage-set diamond.
“His father and I met at an eighth grade Sadie Hawkins dance. I’d asked a boy who was more interested in my best friend. Ted went because his younger neighbor wanted to go to her first dance and couldn’t work up the nerve to ask anyone else.”
A wistful smile lifted Julie’s mouth. “Sweet. And you’ve been together ever since?”
Noelle set down her teacup and folded her hands on her lap. “Nope. We broke up after high school graduation. He’d signed up for the military and didn’t want any ties back home since he planned on going into the Special Forces. Said he loved me but had to put all his focus there.”
“That’s so sad.” Julie stared down at the boy again, understanding dawning. “And then you found out you were pregnant.”
“Yes.”
“And he didn’t come home after you told him?” Worry took hold. “Was he...was he...hurt?” Mason’s brother nearly lost his life fighting in Afghanistan. They’d agonized for almost a month before the doctors declared his critical injury stable.
Noelle half laughed, half sighed, an air-filled exclamation of jumbled emotions. “No. I just never told him.”
“What?” Julie stared at the sensible-looking woman. How could she have held back that information? “Why?”
“I thought he didn’t care. Wasn’t sure if he’d want me and the baby. I was afraid to try.”
Julie squirmed, the similarity to her past with Austin hitting its mark.
“So he still doesn’t know?”
A tiny smile tucked itself into the corners of Noelle’s mouth. “We met again at a friend’s Thanksgiving dinner three weeks ago. Although his parents moved away after he graduated, he came back while on leave this year to look up old buddies.”
“Was Josh there?” Julie scanned the photo again.
Noelle’s smile faded. “Yes. It didn’t take Ted long to put everything together and let me know exactly what an idiot I was for never telling him. He’d regretted breaking up the moment he finished basic training. He was hurt when I ignored the letters he sent. He would have married me then if he’d known.”
“You didn’t answer his letters?”
“I didn’t let myself read them. He said he didn’t need anything taking away his focus. A wife and a baby? Major distractions. Plus, I didn’t want him marrying me out of obligation.”
“Still, you lost so much.”
Noelle held up her dainty hand, her diamond twinkling in the strengthening sunlight. “Not anymore. After he got over the shock, and I explained why I hadn’t written, he proposed. What’s more, he convinced me not to waste another minute, which is why, on Christmas Eve, we’re getting married by a justice of the peace before he ships out again. I’d always dreamed of a fancy wedding like yours, but just saying I do and being Mrs. Ted Banks will be enough.”
Julie’s foot stopped swinging. What a beautiful story. An incredible couple. How unfair that they couldn’t have a wedding worthy of them. After a second, she slowly straightened, the afghan pooling in her lap. “No. It’s not enough.”
Noelle angled her face, her expression puzzled. “What?”
“It’s not enough. With everything you’ve been through, you deserve a big wedding.”
Julie took a deep breath, making up her mind.
“You deserve my wedding.”
Before Noelle could interrupt her, Julie hurried on.
“Mason and I can’t get back the money we’ve paid this late in the game and everything will go to waste. I know Mason will want you to have it as much as I do.”
Noelle waved her hands, then stood. “No need, Julie. Honestly. We’re blessed just to have each other.”
Julie stood and squeezed Noelle’s hands. “Please. Let something good come out of all this. I’ll talk to Mason when he gets back and we’ll catch Grace later this afternoon to tell her about the switch in plans.”
A rosy hue infused Noelle’s cheeks and her eyes sparkled. “Thank you, Julie. That’s the kindest thing anyone’s ever done for me. I’ll talk to Ted, but I’m sure he’ll agree.”
“You and Ted and Josh deserve it. I wish it’d happened for you years ago.”
Noelle hugged Julie, then pulled back. “I could say the same for you and Austin. Love is too precious a gift to waste. Never let it go once you’ve found it. Especially the second time around. It’s worth the risk.”
She rolled the cart away, humming “Joy to the World.”
At a window, Julie cranked open the panel and let in a frigid blast of air. She studied the Adirondack Mountains and imagined Austin working up there with the team before they broke for the holiday. Was he thinking of her? Of their kiss?
She pressed her warm forehead against the frost-patterned glass. Was she crazy to think of taking another chance when she’d squandered so many?
She imagined Austin holding her, how they’d melted together like hot wax. No way to deny it. With him, she became whole. Complete. Not even a pair. One.
Noelle was right. Julie had three days left in Lake Placid to convince herself—and Austin—that she could change. Take more risks in life and love...
If she didn’t take this chance, she might never get another one.
CHAPTER FOUR (#ulink_13dbbbcb-e96f-567d-bbc4-8be2a35ca5ee)
AUSTIN STOOD BY the fire in the lodge’s foyer, stalling. His plan to leave in the morning without running into Julie was going up in smoke. He’d managed to avoid her yesterday, but now a large crew, including the beautiful brunette, gathered by the front desk and handed over room keys and settled bills. The wedding looked canceled.
He shoved down a surge of excitement. Once he’d been like the sad-faced fellow Julie now hugged. Knew all too well how her indecision and risk aversion brought men to their knees. It’d taken years for him to stop thinking about her, and their mountaintop kiss had brought everything back.
At least she’d go soon. Leave him to his solitary routines. He needed his peace of mind again after she’d stirred up long-buried emotions. His body tightened into a wrung towel thinking it over. Time to stop replaying the other night and remember all the reasons they didn’t work.
Strangely, Noelle, the front desk clerk, and a large, straight-backed man with a military haircut, gave the group hugs and handshakes. They seemed to be thanking Julie, the groom and the families for something. After a flurry of kisses and bro-hugs, the mass moved out to the parking lot, leaving Julie talking animatedly to the couple.
He stared at Julie, tall and curvy in a cobalt ski suit that looked more suited for the slopes than a car ride to Connecticut. That brilliant color accentuated her braided hair, glossy as chestnuts, and emphasized her naturally dark pink lips.
Where was her luggage?
“Austin!” She looked exhausted and it aroused every protective instinct in him.
Several male heads turned as she hugged Noelle goodbye and strode in his direction, her dark eyes like a sparkling Christmas night. Something in the way she moved, in the straight back and swing of her shoulders, her quick-fire expressions, made it impossible to look away. When she drew close, her vanilla sugar-cookie scent perfumed the air and he breathed in deeply, silently.
“I’m sorry about your wedding.”
A cloud passed over her expression and her smile fled completely. “Me, too. I really messed up. Hurt Mason.”
“Better he knows now than...” He bit off the mental comparison he made to his own tortuous year. The roller coaster she’d put him on. One he wouldn’t ride again, no matter how much she called to him.
“Yes. Much better. For everyone.”
He pulled his keys from his coat pocket. Time for him to cut ties, too. “Have a safe trip home, Julie. And I’m sorry about the other night. I never should have crossed the line.”
“I’m not.”
Surprise cemented his joints. “Not what?”
“Not sorry about the kiss. And not leaving.” The way she stood—hip cocked, chin tucked, eyebrows up—underscored her defiant words.
“I don’t follow.”
Julie gave him a small hooded smile. Intimate. She pulled him to a more private corner of the room where a crystal bowl surrounded by cut-glass cups dominated a mahogany table. Eggnog swirled inside, nutmeg sprinkled across its frothy surface. He eyed it, suddenly needing a drink.
“Austin, I realized something important these last two days, but I’m not going to tell you what it is. Not yet.”
“And you brought me over here to share that?” His lips twitched, amused. She might not like surprises, but she never failed to catch him off guard. Kept him on his toes...and he enjoyed every minute of it, much as he wished he didn’t.
An unladylike punch smacked his shoulder.
“Nice.” He rubbed it as though it hurt. “You’ve always had great manners.”
Her cheeky grin shot adrenaline into his bloodstream. “I try. But listen—Dad wants Mom to stay and get spa treatments. Since I’m on my own for the next few days, I thought you could show me the sights.”
He stepped back and his hip jostled the table, the bowl tipping.
Julie lunged and their hands brushed as they righted the glassware. His fingers traced hers for an electric second before he stuffed them in his pockets.
“There must be someone else...”
“My maid of honor is at the spa and Mom will be busy with treatments. Come on, Austin. It’ll be fun. Like old times.”
That was the last thing he needed. The other night, he’d wanted to run back through time with Julie, but in the cold dawn hours, he’d come to his senses and dismissed that fantasy. She hated risk and he thrived on it. A future for them was impossible.
A pianist settled himself at a black baby grand piano beside a towering Christmas tree. The balsam branches swung two stories high, alive with light twirling on glass and tinsel. The first notes of “Silent Night” drifted across the room.
“I’m not the best tour guide, Julie. If you head downtown, there are a lot of shops...vintage ones, too. You could add to your collection of cream-and-sugar sets.”
“I’ll have to get them out of storage,” she said absently, shifting her gaze away from him. “Anyway, I’m going skiing today and hoped you could teach me.”
Austin looked at Julie, full-on and curious, as if he was seeing something new. All the years they’d dated, she refused his offers to take her to the slopes. Why the change of heart?
As he puzzled it out, the pianist swung into a spritely version of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas,” his smooth baritone attracting a small crowd.
“You’re going skiing,” Austin repeated, trying and failing to keep the skepticism out of his voice.
She tossed him a look that read equal parts fear and challenge. “Yes.”
“But you used to think skiing was risky.”
“Exactly why I’m doing it.”
Austin looked at her for so long that she started to look uncomfortable. She dropped her gaze and grabbed a glass of punch.
“What’s going on, Julie?”
The nylon of her jacket swished as her shoulders raised and lowered. “I’m too cautious. Don’t take enough chances. It’s time I changed that.” She downed half a glass.
His eyebrows rose. “Why?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Her fingernails drummed on the side of the cup.
“Not to me.”
She snorted and gulped the last of the punch. “Right. Fine. It’s because I’ve missed out on too much worrying about what I didn’t know. Important things that I now regret.” She looked him directly in the eye.
He shifted under her scrutiny. If she meant him, he wasn’t getting his hopes up. “That’s a big change.”
“Tell me about it. Have you seen how terrifying that bunny slope looks? Check it out online.” She shot him an involuntary smile, her face betraying a mix of hope and alarm, before twisting around to place her cup on the table.
He grinned. Her quirky sincerity always got to him. “You really think you can do it?”
“Are you kidding?” A breathless laugh escaped her. “I’ll be eating snow all day, but I want to try.”
“I meant throwing away your anxiety.”
She inspected the razor-sharp edge of one of her braids. “I don’t know. Guess that’s why I’m asking for your help. Who better than Mr. Daredevil, right?”
An elderly couple joined the piano player and belted out “Blue Christmas,” the older man swiveling his hips and crooning like Elvis as his wife giggled and swatted his arm.
They looked happy. Companionable. Their roles—husband as show-off and wife as appreciative, though protesting, audience—were firmly entrenched. They reminded him of his parents. And grandparents. He’d always wanted to be part of a team like that. Had once thought Julie would be the ideal teammate. But it had fallen apart. Did he dare spend time with her again? Could she really change?
There was only one way to find out, but he’d keep his guard up. It was noble of her to try, and he’d help her, but that’d be as far as things would go between them.
“Give me five minutes and I’ll grab my gear.”
She held up her watch and pretended to press a side button. “Timer’s set. Go!”
He chuckled as he hustled to the elevator, more intrigued than he cared to admit.
A day with Julie. He couldn’t resist, despite her history of raising his hopes, then crushing them. It’d taken him years to forget her...if he ever had. He watched her disappear into an elevator and nodded to himself. He wanted this time with her, no matter how much he risked by letting her get close again.
* * *
“YOU CAN OPEN your eyes. I won’t let you fall.”
“Have you seen how far up we are?” Julie squeezed her lids tighter and held still as the ski lift continued its jarring ascent up Whiteface Mountain. Why had she followed through on this idiotic notion?
Austin’s arm tightened around her waist.
Right. This was why. She snuggled closer to his side and rested her head on his broad shoulders. She wanted a second chance for them. And she wanted to convince him that she’d changed. Proof? She’d canceled her wedding and she and Mason had given it to another couple. Both decisions she would have agonized over before. She nibbled on her lower lip. Well, it was a start anyway.
And how gracious of Mason... Her heart clenched as she pictured the way his expression had lightened when she’d mentioned Noelle and Ted. Instead of reacting angrily, a justifiable response given what she’d done, he’d supported her when she called to explain the change in plans to Grace. He was a great guy and some woman would be lucky to have him. Just not her...
When something brushed the bottom of Julie’s feet, she squealed and her eyes flew open.
“What was that?”
“A tree that needs to be cut.”
She looked out at the vista stretching in every direction and gulped. No. She would not look down. But the snowcapped mountains resembled a postcard from the Alps. Pretty. The sun made the air feel bright and warm, despite the freezing temperatures. And the sky. Blue, a blue like she’d never seen before.
All was calm. The brightly clad skiers in the swaying lifts ahead didn’t appear concerned that only a thin metal rail kept them from plunging to their deaths... She snatched at the anxious thought and stuffed it away.
Julie had much nicer things to focus on. Shivers of awareness ran through her as she sat beside Austin, nodding without listening as he rattled on about balance, ski tips and stuff she surely didn’t need since she’d probably spend most of the time on her butt, not her skis.
“Wait. How do I get off this thing?” Panic snaked through her as passengers from a car ahead of them glided off the plastic seat.
“You ski off.” A crossbeam of sun lightened Austin’s eyes to amber, like a wolf’s. The thread of Canadian-goose calls strung high across the cloudless sky. He turned, head tilted back, to watch the birds wheeling in the circle of blue, in and out of their V.
Julie finger-shot herself in the head. “Of course. No problem. Except I don’t know how to ski.”
“After I lift the bar, slide forward to the edge of the seat and point your ski tips up. Once they touch the ground, stand up and the lift will give you a little push.”
“As in knock me over? How many times did I fall before I got on this thing?”
“I stopped counting after seven. The operator said it was a record.” Austin’s pirate’s smile set off a breathtaking tingling surge inside her.
“Are you mocking me?” she asked, but she couldn’t stop herself from grinning.
He spread his broad hands. Innocent. “What do you think?”
The couple ahead of them glided off their seat.
“Austin! We’re next.”
He squeezed her hand. “Don’t panic. Or dawdle. As soon as you’re off the seat, move away fast. Got it?”
“Do I have a choice? Ahhhhhh!”
Julie spit out a mouthful of flakes and struggled to her knees. The ski lift looped behind her. At least she’d cleared it. That had to count for something...
“Nice face-plant,” drawled Austin. He loomed tall, looking athletic and incredibly gorgeous in fitted black ski pants and a matching jacket with a lime-green stripe. “Want some help?”
“This skiing sure is fun.”
“You wanted to come.” He pulled off his goggles and squinted down at her, his smile headlong, anarchic and utterly irresistible.
“I might have to plead insanity on that.”
He beckoned her, his angular cheeks a stung-red color. “Come on, Julie. There’s only one way down.”
“A stretcher?”
He chuckled and pulled her to her feet where she wobbled, skis sliding. “Bend your knees and don’t lean so far forward.”
“Just don’t let go.”
He gripped her hands, the steady pressure reassuring. “This isn’t exactly a team sport.”
“If it was, I’d give you a zero.”
“Good thing we’re not competing.” He drew her slowly toward him, looking into her eyes, and heat burst in her belly. Caught in the quickening of his breath, in his darkened eyes, she leaned forward. For a heart-stopping moment he traced her face.
Then he gave himself a shake and slid on his goggles. “Ready?” he asked. Brusque.
“So how do I stop again?”
Austin expertly scooted backward and angled the front of his tips inward. “Just think pizza slice.”
“Now I’m hungry.”
“There’s a news flash. We’ll grab some when we get down to the lodge.”
“You forget I’ll be eating Jell-O in a hospital bed.”
“So says the risk taker,” Austin chided, but there was the corner of a grin there, too, bitten back.
Julie let out a long breath. Right. Time to get over herself. What was the worst that could happen on a slope named after a fluffy rodent? She planted her poles in the snow and pushed.
In a flash, she flew down the slope, sure she should have picked the more difficult run, after all, until one ski tangled with the other. She vaulted over them both and into some scrub brush.
Nice.
Austin jetted to her, stopping with a blinding spray of snow. He sank to his knees, his hands running over her legs and arms. “Are you hurt?”
“I meant to do that,” she said when her lungs started working again. “And no. Nothing injured. I don’t think.”
“Believe me, you’d know. Though your back or neck will probably ache in the morning.” He’d pushed his goggles up over his hat again and his eyes searched hers.
“Will you adjust it for me?” Austin had earned his degree in sports chiropractic while she finished her BA. He’d earned a degree in exercise science as an undergrad and he was licensed as a strength-and-training coach as well as a performance-enhancement specialist. If she’d trust anyone with her neck, it’d be Austin.
One side of his mouth jacked up. “You know where I live.”
Julie clutched a branch of a miniature Christmas tree to stop herself from slipping and stood. When her skis slid, Austin grabbed her and it seemed as if a sheet of foggy glass fell away in front of them: every color leaping, every birdcall separate and vivid.
“Ready to try again?” he asked into her ear, sending her nerve endings into overdrive.
“You promised me pizza at the end of this, right?”
He stepped back and put a hand over his heart, light skidding across his handsome face. “Pepperoni and meatballs.”
Her mouth watered, imagining her favorite, though at this moment she wanted Austin more. “You remembered.”
She moved aside as a family of four rushed by in a flash of neon jackets and pom-pom hats.
“Sometimes too much,” she thought she heard him mumble as he skied a few feet down before turning. Breath lifted Austin’s chest, as if he was bracing himself for something. “Up and at ʼem, Julie.”
“Who’s Adam?”
His mouth tipped upward at their old joke and she grinned back before pushing off again, slower this time.
“Curve side to side,” coached Austin. She swiveled her hips, leaning slightly into each shallow turn. The sun warmed her back through her jacket and a lightness stole through her.
This was fun.
Yes, there was a chance she’d fall again.
Yes, there was a chance she’d hit scrub brush.
And yes, there was a chance she really might end up on that stretcher. However, those possibilities should not—would not—ruin this moment.
She felt free. Powerful. Moving through space like she was running—only faster. Laughter escaped her, cascading, bubbling over her tongue sweet and smooth.
When she hit a bump, she ended up sprawled in the snow again.
Graceful, she was not.
Other beginners edged by her as Austin expertly sped back, floating on the snow, by the look of it. The tink tink tink of a bird sounded somewhere close.
“Okay?”
She was already back on her feet and leaning on her poles when he reached her. “Definitely. This is incredible.” The air smelled so good she wanted to bite into it, feel the soft crunch between her teeth.
“I knew you’d like it if you gave it a chance.”
Their eyes locked and moments ticked by, until a kid barreled into Austin, sending them both sprawling.
Julie laughed as they scrambled upright. Nice to see Mr. Athlete could be a little ungainly once in a while.
“That’s two for me and one for you.” Julie bumped his shoulder with hers and propelled herself forward.
“You forgot your swan dive off the ski lift.” Austin slid a teasing look her way when she passed him.
Trees turned to a green blur as she skied, the early afternoon sun reflecting off her metal poles. “I’m actually trying to forget that one, thank you very much,” she called over her shoulder.
Austin reached her and tapped the side pocket she knew held his cell phone. “I’ll send you a picture if you like. Or you can grab it off my Facebook page.”
Julie gasped. “You are evil.”
“One of my best qualities.” He tossed her one of his devil-may-care grins, looking impossibly handsome.
A valve loosened inside of Julie, making her feel entirely different from the “think first, act never” girl she’d become again when she’d returned home from college. She sped up and whizzed by him, her muscles coordinating at last.
“I’ll be the judge of that. See you at the bottom, sucker.”
“Oh, it’s like that, then.” He easily caught up to her and swished from side to side. “What do I win if I get there first?” His lazy grin knocked the wind out of her.
“What do you want?”
He cocked his head and his eyes glinted before he faced forward again. “Guess you’ll have to wait and find out.”
In a moment, he’d disappeared around a bend, the roof of the lodge closer than ever.
No doubt he’d win, but so would she. Whatever lurked around the next turn didn’t scare her anymore. She pushed harder, eager to find out what lay ahead.
Bring it on.
Today showed she could let go and face her fear of the unknown.
And that could include a future with Austin. She just had to make him believe it, too.
CHAPTER FIVE (#ulink_295e5389-ccd3-56af-ac58-c7ba13f7e0c5)
“SO, FORCING ME to do hard labor is your idea of a prize?”
“I won. My choice.” Austin scanned Julie’s beautiful, flushed face before looking back at the road. “Plus, there’s pizza in it for you.”
He grinned at her irritated harrumph as they drove through downtown Lake Placid. At a yellow light, he slowed his Jeep and idled in front of a white clapboard building with a white picket fence, black shutters and a wraparound porch. Only an oval sign that read Lake Placid Public Library—est. 1884 gave its true purpose away.
“When exactly is that pizza coming my way?” Julie clutched her stomach. She wore a fitted blue thermal shirt and white fleece vest that revealed enough of her curves to get his heart thumping. “I’ve been smelling it since we picked it up. How much farther to your new condo?”
“About a half mile out of town.” God, she smelled good. Still used the same coconut shampoo that made him want to bury his face in her thick hair and breathe it in.
Why had he impulsively asked her to help him unpack his kitchen? Her organizational skills had always impressed him, but that wasn’t the real reason. Not even close.
He wanted her in his first permanent home. To imagine, for a minute, what life together would have been like.
Danger prickled down his spine. Fantasies. When would he learn to avoid their burn?
The light clicked green and he pressed on the gas, his gaze skimming over the ski village’s quaint cobblestone sidewalks. Garland hung from street lamps tied with silver bows. An inviting Christmas shop blazed with twinkling lights, a red train passing by the window as it made its trek around the store. Salvation Army bells rang as holiday Muzak streamed through hidden speakers all along the thoroughfare. Tourists with loaded shopping bags thronged the streets.
For a moment, Austin wished he and Julie could be among them—just another couple window-shopping. But those were ghosts of Christmas past. Not present. And definitely not the future, no matter how much she’d impressed him on the slopes today.
He knew she wanted to overcome her indecision and hesitancy, but it was just a start. Besides, Austin couldn’t commit to Julie with the tour kicking off so soon. He still had too many doubts. It would take a lot to convince him that she wouldn’t retreat into her safe little world again and leave him alone, stumbling in the dark.
Julie’s proximity fired up his imagination. Her cascading laughter, snappy comebacks and quirky attitude reminded him of why he’d loved her...and why he needed to guard himself.
“A tree farm!” she squealed and pointed. “Let’s get one for your condo.”
He nodded and cranked the wheel, unable as ever to resist her enthusiasm. His tires churned up the white, snowy parking-lot entrance and the Jeep jerked to a stop beside a lighted sign that read Jingle Bell Tree Farm.
Julie swung herself out of the Jeep and threw her bag over her shoulder before he grabbed the keys from the ignition. She’d changed out of her snowsuit into a pair of stretch jeans that made her look slim and taller. Strands of hair slipped free of the braids pulled across each shoulder.
Her lashes fluttered against the setting sun as she stared at the smeared watercolor sky. She was built like a runner, lean limbs and long muscles. Chin always high, shoulders always back. No one had ever attracted him this way and she could break his heart into tiny pieces if he let her.
But he wouldn’t.
Not this time.
The evergreen-laced air curled beneath his nose as he joined Julie. Families and couples laughed and chattered around them, dragging trees to their cars, securing them with rope or bungee cords. A xylophone player accompanied a helium-voiced woman as she sang “Santa Baby” into a microphone beside a rickety card table and cash box.
A balding, barrel-chested man waddled up, his stomach straining the buttons of his padded flannel overshirt. He had a broad face that looked built to scowl and, beneath a bulbous nose, a thick mustache curled down to the corners of his mouth. As he rubbed his gloved hands and stomped his work boots, his cheek bulged with what smelled like cherry chewing tobacco.
“What can I do you for? Looking for pine? Spruce? Almost out of balsam, but still got a few in the back.” His fast mumble of words took Austin longer than Julie to decipher.
“Balsam, please. That’s our favorite.” Her smile flashed and the man stared before swatting the air and hustling through a thicket of cut trees.
“Did you see his buckle?” Julie whispered in Austin’s ear, her warm breath making him tighten in awareness. “It said Jingle This.”
They laughed softly into the circle of cold, still air between them. “He does have bells on his belt,” Austin murmured, Julie’s soft hair tickling his cheek as he leaned close. Her giggle made him feel like a fifteen-year-old with awkward limbs, sweating forehead and racing pulse. He lost himself in her brown eyes for a minute as they smiled at each other. How he missed this. Missed her, he admitted to himself.
“All righty. Here’s a dandy fellow.” The lot worker hefted a six-footer from a pile leaning against a tan trailer with a few pieces of its vinyl siding missing. “Got a bit of a bare patch in the back. Nothing a few ornaments won’t cover.”
Austin scrutinized the tree. It looked full enough.
“How much?”
He turned at Julie’s quick question, his stomach sinking as he remembered another thing about her that hadn’t changed.
The man turned and spat brown on the snow behind him. “A hundred bucks.”
Her features sharpened. A bloodhound on the hunt. Austin knew better than to intervene. Just sit back and watch the magic.
“Thirty-five,” she replied firmly. She popped in a piece of gum and glanced casually around the tree lot, her expression disinterested, though Austin knew better.
A phlegmatic cough erupted from their helper. It ended in a derisive laugh. “This ain’t no charity, ma’am.”
“Looks more like a con job to me, if that’s what you’re charging.”
He pointed at a hand-painted sign with sizes and prices listed. “Just going by the rules.”
Julie studied the sign, then turned back to the tree. “Says you only charge eighty for trees under six feet.”
The man sighed and shot Austin a “can you believe this” look, which he did not return. Instead, he moved closer to Julie, enjoying himself. “Let’s get out the tape.”
“This here’s over six foot or I’m Frosty the Snowman.” The wannabe lumberjack hooted, then shrugged under the weight of their combined stares, and headed inside the trailer.
Alone, Austin bent down, nearly touching Julie’s nose. “So how much are we really paying?” He ignored the electric jolt when her lashes tangled with his.
“Fifty.”
“Got it.”‘
The man returned, grumbling, with a yardstick. “Plenty of other places to go if you don’t like our prices.”
“Exactly,” Julie put in coolly. “And the stick begins at the trunk base, not the branches.”
Austin pinched the branch where the yardstick ended, ensured the bottom lined up to it again and watched as it missed six feet by an eighth of an inch.
“Holy—”
“—Night?” Julie interjected, her voice sweet, her grin warm and crinkly. “One of my favorite Christmas carols. Just for that, I’ll give you forty.”
“The price is eighty.” The man jabbed a thick finger at the sign, his ruddy face now resembling a tomato.
“I’m assuming you wrote those figures three weeks ago.” Julie tapped her cleft chin. The gesture reminded Austin of how he used to kiss that chin before capturing her mouth and...
“At the start of the season, correct?” Julie continued.
The worker studied her, skeptical, then nodded slowly.
“But with only three days until Christmas, and competition just down the road, as you pointed out, these prices should be reduced. Half price at least. I’m doing you a favor by offering you such a good deal.”
He sawed his scruffy jaw back and forth, the way a man did after taking a solid punch.
“Ma’am, discounts have to be approved by the boss,” he groused.
“And where is he or she?”
He pointed to the crooner in the front wearing a light-up Rudolph sweater and matching earmuffs.
“I see a resemblance. You must be her son. Someone she knows she can depend on to do all the heavy lifting while she has fun by the checkout, right?”
His chest rose and fell as he released a frustrated sigh. “She never comes back here unless it’s for cocoa. Doesn’t offer me none, either.”
Julie patted his arm. “Exactly. She’s not in touch with customers. Doesn’t know how to make a sale. Seal the deal. Strike a bargain. Give the green light. Play ball. So how’s fifty sound?”
The owner’s son blinked quickly at Julie’s rapid-fire words, his brain cells shuffling to keep up. Finally he shook his head and extended a hand, a gray tooth appearing in his crooked smile. “You got it, girlie. Let’s get her done.”
Thirty minutes later, Austin was still smiling at the memory of the singing owner’s stricken face as she watched them settle the bill and return her son’s cheery wave.
“Your condo is beautiful,” called Julie from one of the back rooms, her voice echoing in the empty space, bouncing off the newly painted walls and freshly laid wooden floors. “These views.”
“I got in early when I saw the plans a couple of years ago. Signed on for a top floor, rear corner. Best in the building,” he answered with pride. It’d taken him a while to accept that his job with the US team was permanent. That, although he’d continue wandering the world during the competition season, he could put down roots. All he needed was a partner, but he suspected he’d end up with the four-legged kind. Certainly not Julie. Lake Placid was too far from her home. How could he be confident she wouldn’t drag her feet or change her mind about joining him if he asked? In the end, she’d only flatten him again.
He poured water into the tree basin he’d unpacked from a box labeled Christmas, and stood back. “Ready to decorate when you are.”
She slid across his floor on her stocking feet, striking a Risky Business move à la Tom Cruise at the end of the short hall. “We’ve got the place to ourselves. Let’s get into trouble.”
She dimpled at him and he almost smiled. Clamped it back. Ignored the surge of excitement she always aroused in him. “Work. Remember? Not play.”
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