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The Amish Nanny
Patricia Davids
A Family In NeedA reclusive Amish logger, Ethan Gingerich is more comfortable around his draft horses than the orphaned niece and nephews he's taken in. Yet he's determined to provide the children with a good, loving home. The little ones, including a defiant eight-year-old, need a proper nanny. But when Ethan hires shy Amishwoman Clara Barkman, he never expects her temporary position to have such a lasting hold on all of them. Now this man of few words must convince Clara she's found her forever home and family.Brides of Amish Country: Finding true love in the land of the Plain People.


A Family In Need
A reclusive Amish logger, Ethan Gingerich is more comfortable around his draft horses than the orphaned niece and nephews he’s taken in. Yet he’s determined to provide the children with a good, loving home. The little ones, including a defiant eight-year-old, need a proper nanny. But when Ethan hires shy Amishwoman Clara Barkman, he never expects her temporary position to have such a lasting hold on all of them. Now this man of few words must convince Clara she’s found her forever home and family.
Brides of Amish Country: Finding true love in the land of the Plain People.
“It’s been a good week for me, Clara,” Ethan said.
Clara blushed. “For me, too.”
“If I had known how much easier my life would be with a nanny I would have hired one weeks ago.”
A nanny. Any nanny. Not specially Clara Barkman. She couldn’t suppress the small twinge his words caused, but she quickly told herself it didn’t matter. She wasn’t seeking praise. He was right. Another woman could have done the job as well as she. It was prideful to think otherwise. If she was hired as the new teacher, another woman would take her place with this family.
No one mentioned that Clara might become too attached to the family. She needed to keep her emotions in check. She was the nanny, nothing more.
“Is everything all right, Clara?” Ethan was watching her closely.
“Of course,” she managed to say.
Ethan was slowly finding his way to becoming a parent, and she was glad for him. He would be a good father if he just gave himself a chance. He needed someone to believe in him.
PATRICIA DAVIDS
After thirty-five years as a nurse, Pat hung up her stethoscope to become a full-time writer. She enjoys spending her new free time visiting her grandchildren, doing some long-overdue yard work and traveling to research her story locations. She resides in Wichita, Kansas. Pat always enjoys hearing from her readers. You can visit her online at www.patriciadavids.com (http://www.patriciadavids.com).
The Amish Nanny
Patricia Davids





www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Who can find a virtuous woman?
For her price is far above rubies.
—Proverbs 31:10
The book is lovingly dedicated to teachers everywhere.
The hardest job in the world brings forth
the greatest rewards.
Contents
Cover (#u41dc9867-3179-57d1-a276-03adf14499d8)
Back Cover Text (#u8fb17d3a-fa0c-556c-9270-ab1c7a75f79b)
Introduction (#u7cbde12a-b945-5727-a74a-b497a619cbf1)
About the Author (#u3a2944a6-f6a3-5a61-8012-c03418c35b75)
Title Page (#uc9b24656-4bb8-544b-bb11-5ae16bee6a57)
Bible Verse (#u9cf5c363-8ed2-52be-ade2-5f50befe7396)
Dedication (#ud65b234a-ec50-5fe5-bbdf-567e4f189a48)
Chapter One (#ulink_cbee9228-73a7-5841-9995-1b4b441d1172)
Chapter Two (#ulink_9ab3b233-26ba-5573-a204-df6a50d3a186)
Chapter Three (#ulink_aae1c187-eac8-5e35-9d92-7d0030378c09)
Chapter Four (#ulink_9f6839dc-2e5e-5d89-b1dd-9fb32b9b2225)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Dear Reader (#litres_trial_promo)
Questions for Discussion (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#ulink_1e0a8e2b-2976-59d0-bdf0-27ff8845a646)
Ethan Gingerich led his draft horses out of their stalls and started to slide open the large door of his barn, but he stopped when he saw two irate women standing just outside. At second glance, only the one gripping his nephew Micah’s collar looked irate. It was Faith Lapp, his neighbor’s wife. He didn’t recognize the pretty young woman standing behind Faith. She looked scared. Her bright blue eyes were wide with apprehension.
Faith pointed to the child in her grasp. “Ethan Gingerich, do you know what your boy has done?”
He’d never seen the mild-mannered woman with such fire in her eyes. And what was that horrible smell? It seemed to be coming from his nephew. “I reckon I’d be the one holding him by the collar if I knew. What did you do this time, sohn?”
Micah glared at him. “I’m not your son.”
“That’s neither here nor there. You did something to upset Mrs. Lapp. What was it?”
Micah looked down at his bare toes. “Nothing.”
Faith let go of his shirt and gestured toward the woman standing with her. “This is my friend Clara Barkman. Clara saw him jump out of a tree onto one of my alpacas.”
Ethan flinched. He’d heard stories about the way Faith Lapp valued her strange animals. She treated them almost like family. How much would an alpaca cost if he had to replace one? He could barely afford to feed the family and his horses as it was. He hadn’t been able to go logging in weeks. Not since his brother’s children had come to live with him over a month ago. No cut timber to sell meant zero income.
Micah raked his bare toes through the dirt. “I just wanted to ride one. I didn’t mean any harm.”
Faith scowled at him. “They’re very delicate animals. They can’t carry a rider bigger than a two-year-old. Had you asked permission to ride one of them, I would have told you that. You could have seriously injured Myrtle.”
“Or you might have been injured yourself,” Clara added in a small voice.
He liked that she was thinking of the child. The recent deaths of his brother and sister-in-law had left him in charge of their three small children. He gazed at Micah’s belligerent face. They were still finding their way with each other. Micah was having a much harder time than his younger brother and sister.
The boy was only eight, but he wasn’t too young to learn responsibility and respect. “Micah will work off any damages that are owed, Mrs. Lapp. Go up to the house, boy. We’ll talk about this later.”
Micah’s chin came up. “I’m not scared of you.”
Ethan managed to keep a stern face, but it was difficult. Micah was so much like his father had been at that age. Always ready to scrap with his bigger, older brother. Ethan summoned a forbidding tone. “You should be. Don’t make me tell you twice. Go!”
Micah’s defiance crumbled. He bolted toward the house. The fire in Faith Lapp’s eyes cooled as she watched the boy race up the front porch steps. Her expression turned to one of sympathy when she looked back at Ethan. “I know how troubled a boy can be when he has lost his parents as Micah has. It was the same with my nephew when Kyle first came to me. It takes time, and it takes attention to help them recover.”
Why did women always think he needed a lecture on how to manage the children? He’d already had plenty of that from his aunts. Was he ever to have any peace? “I’ll handle Micah in my own way. Is there anything else?”
He shoved the barn door wide open and led his team of draft horses out. Faith moved aside, but Clara shrieked and threw up her hands as she scurried backward, almost falling in her haste. The horses snorted and tossed their heads, jerking him off the ground for an instant. Terror-stricken, Clara covered her face with her hands. What was wrong with her?
He calmed his animals. “Easy, boys, easy.”
Faith wrapped her arm around Clara’s shoulders and moved her to the side. “Clara is frightened by large horses. Would you take them away, please, Mr. Gingerich?”
“An Amish woman who is afraid of horses?” He would have laughed at the idea, but the proof of it was cowering before him.
“Only big ones,” Clara admitted breathlessly. She had her eyes scrunched shut.
“These are big,” he acknowledged as he led them past the women to the nearby pasture gate. He owned two teams of massive Belgians, among the largest of all draft horse breeds. They were his most prized possessions. He loved their strength and their power, their placid nature and their willingness to work as hard as he asked without flagging. How could anyone be afraid of such gentle giants?
When he turned them loose in the pasture, Fred and Dutch took off at a thundering gallop, bucking like colts and nipping playfully at each other. He never grew tired of watching the matching sorrels with their sleek red-brown coats and blond manes and tails. They were beautiful to behold.
But he had more than his horses to look after now. He had three kinder to care for. One of them was bent on getting himself into trouble at every turn. Ethan came back to stand by Faith. Now that the horses were gone, Clara had her eyes open. It was easy to see she was embarrassed by her reaction. Her cheeks were bright red. Her gaze was focused on her hands clasped tightly in front of her. “I’m sorry I made a fuss. I wasn’t expecting to see them.”
He took pity on her. “My sister-in-law would shriek at the sight of the tiniest spider in the house. Everyone is afraid of something.”
Clara gave him a tremulous smile, a reward for his kindness. “My father’s team of draft horses bolted and ran over me when I was six.”
“Were you badly hurt?” he asked.
The bright color was fading from her cheeks. “Nee, their big feet missed me by the grace of God.”
“It’s not so surprising. My teams pay close attention to where they put their hooves. They don’t like to be tripped up. But you didn’t come to talk about horses. What kind of damages do I owe for the injury to your animal, Mrs. Lapp?”
“Myrtle seems to be all right. She had a bad fright more than anything. She may be skittish for a few days, but I think she’ll recover.
“You let me know if she starts ailing. I’ll send Micah to work for you for the next three days, if that’s agreeable.”
“If you are sure you don’t need him here.”
“I can spare him for the mornings. Is that acceptable?”
Faith nodded. “Ja, it is. Perhaps if he learns more about alpacas, he’ll be careful around them. I’m afraid Myrtle spit on him. It will take a few days of airing for the smell to get out of his clothes.”
“Serves him right. I’ll see that he’s punished for what he did.”
Clara’s gaze snapped up and locked with his for an instant before she looked down again. “He’s only a little boy.”
“He’s old enough to know better. I don’t tolerate careless or wild behavior around my animals. He knows that. If there’s nothing else, I’ve got two more horses that need to go out to pasture. They’re big ones, too,” he added.
Clara flinched at his remark. He regretted sounding short-tempered, but before he could form some kind of apology, the women turned and walked away.
His eyes stayed on the gently swaying figure of Clara as she and Faith went down the lane. Clara Barkman. He wasn’t familiar with the name. Was she a local woman? He didn’t attend the same church group as his neighbors, so he hadn’t seen her before.
She stopped and glanced back for a moment. He raised a hand to wave. She suddenly rushed to catch up with Faith. He watched until they rounded the bend in the road, but she didn’t look back again. She was a pretty woman. Was she married?
He shoved aside the thought. It didn’t matter. He wasn’t interested in her or any woman. Clara might be pretty, but a pretty face didn’t mean much. He had loved one beautiful woman beyond all reason. She said that she loved him, too, but she had married another man. A man he had introduced her to... His best friend. Their betrayal of his trust cut deep. He didn’t know if it would ever heal although he tried his best to forgive them.
Jenny’s beautiful face hid a selfish nature. She decided not to settle for a poor fellow with only his horses and his heart to offer her. She wanted a secure life. She found it with a man who owned a big house and his own factory. An Englisch man. That she had to turn her back on her Amish faith hadn’t deterred her any more than it had kept his mother from leaving.
Ethan rubbed his hand over his chest, but it didn’t lessen the ache those memories caused.
He returned to the barn and brought Rosie and Golda out. After checking them over, he turned them loose in the pasture, too. Golda took off at a gallop to catch up with the boys, but pregnant Rosie buried her nose in the long grass and began tearing up mouthfuls near his feet. He patted her sleek shoulder. “Eat good, little mudder. I need a strong, healthy hutsh from you.”
Rosie and her colt would be the foundation of his business as a draft horse breeder and trainer. Up until now, he’d made a living by logging, but with the addition of the children in his life, he needed a way to earn a living that didn’t take him away from home for much of the fall and early winter. It was his new plan for the future, but he knew God had a way of changing a man’s plans without warning.
He settled his hat lower on his brow as he glanced toward the house, where Micah was waiting for him. He’d never expected to raise his niece and nephews. He drew comfort from knowing he was doing what his brother would have wanted, but he hadn’t realized how hard it would be. For everyone.
What could he say to make Micah understand he was traveling down the wrong path? Ethan looked up at the cloudless blue sky. “God, I don’t know why You needed my brother and his wife with You, but we sure do miss them. If You want me to look after their kinder, You had better show me the way to make it work, Lord, because right now I’m lost.”
He shook off the sadness that made his eyes sting. He wouldn’t dwell on his loss. He couldn’t afford to let grief muddle his thinking. Work would help clear his head.
He turned away from the house and entered the barn. Micah could stew a few minutes. Grabbing a pitchfork, he began tossing fresh straw into the stalls. He needed to find the right thing to say to Micah. More important, he needed to find a way to take care of all the children that didn’t involve sending them to live with their only other family members.
Ethan refused to consider sending them to his mother. She had given up her Amish faith and any right to be considered part of the family when she left his father. Ethan did have two elderly aunts willing to take one child each, but they wanted to leave Micah with him. He couldn’t do that to them.
Separating the kinder was something he knew his brother wouldn’t want. Not after the way they had been torn apart as children.
* * *
Clara resisted the urge to glance over her shoulder again as she and Faith walked away from Ethan’s home. What kind of punishment did he have planned for Micah? She flinched at the memory of her uncle taking a strap to her back.
Like Micah, she and her sisters had been taken in by their uncle after their parents died. Their uncle Morris was a weak, cruel man. He made their lives miserable for years. The final straw came when he tried to force her to marry a horrible man. By the grace of God and with the bravery of her sister Lizzie, they were able to escape. Now they lived with their grandfather in the Amish community of Hope Springs, Ohio. Clara tried hard to put her unhappy past behind her, but sometimes it came back to haunt her. Like now.
She knew not every man was cruel. Faith’s husband was a wonderful, kind husband and father, but Ethan Gingerich looked and sounded so stern. She glanced at Faith. “Do you think Micah will be all right?”
“He wasn’t hurt in the fall. Why wouldn’t he be all right?”
Clara kept her pace slow to match Faith’s limping stride. Faith wore a brace on one leg due to an old injury. “Did Micah’s onkel seem angry to you? He seemed very angry to me.”
“I could see he was disappointed in the boy’s behavior. That’s to be expected.”
“What do you know about him?”
“Not much really. He keeps to himself. He moved here about two years ago. He makes a living logging with his horses. He lived alone until recently. One day last month, he stopped by to ask Adrian to look after his horses while he went to Indiana for a funeral. Apparently, his brother and his brother’s wife were struck and killed by lightning while they were working in the field. It was a terrible tragedy. Ethan brought their children back to live with him. I took some food to them when they first arrived. The poor children looked so lost. I should’ve gone back to visit.”
“You’ve had your hands full with the new baby.”
“That’s true, but it’s no excuse for being a poor neighbor. I hope their church has been helping.”
They rounded a bend in the road, and Clara couldn’t see the house behind them anymore. A large cornfield blocked her view. The sea of green leaves and golden tassels danced in the wind making rattling, hissing sounds as the stiff leaves slapped against each other.
Would Ethan slap Micah?
The boy was so small, and Ethan was a big man. He could easily hurt the child. She dreaded to think Micah was being punished because she was the one who saw him jump on Myrtle. She had been so startled that she had immediately called Faith to the window. If only she had remained silent. The boy would have gone home, and no one would have known about his actions. But that wouldn’t have been right, either.
She prayed Ethan would deal with Micah kindly, but not knowing troubled her. The Amish were gentle people. She knew that, but evil could lurk among the good. Her uncle was proof of that. Her heart started pounding painfully as she remembered his cruelty.
She stopped in the roadway and clasped her arms across her middle as she closed her eyes. Images of her uncle raising his wooden rod to strike her flashed into her mind and she braced for the blow. Was Micah’s uncle as cruel as hers had been? It wasn’t likely, but what if he was?
“What is it, Clara?”
Clara opened her eyes and saw the concern on her friend’s face. She drew a shaky breath. That part of her life was over. She and her three sisters were safe. Their uncle couldn’t hurt them anymore. She had to remind herself of that fact every day. After years of fear and meekness, of striving desperately to please her uncle and failing, it was sometimes hard to believe God had finally answered her prayers. Was Micah praying for deliverance from his uncle’s wrath, too? She had to know.
She couldn’t leave without knowing.
“Faith, would you mind if we called it quits early today?”
“Of course not. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. My sisters are putting up corn this afternoon. I know they could use my help. I’ll walk home from here.”
“It will take more than one day to put up corn for your family. Take tomorrow off, too. Why don’t we get together again on Saturday?”
Clara took two steps backward. She wanted to race back to the Gingerich farm, but she didn’t want to arouse Faith’s suspicions. “Are you sure you want me to come back? We’ve only a few more hours of spinning to do, and then we’ll be done with this year’s fleece.”
“Please do come. I’ve enjoyed working with you so much. I want one last day together even if it’s only for a few hours.”
“All right. I’ll see you Saturday morning.” Clara turned and hurried back the way they had come, but instead of going home, she stopped at the bend in the road that led to Ethan’s farm.
She rubbed her damp palms on the sides of her dress. What reason would she give for returning? She could hardly tell a man she’d just met that she feared he beat his children. Even if she saw him punishing Micah, what right did she have to interfere? None.
Yet how could she stand by and do nothing? It was partly her fault the boy was in trouble. If only she knew what was happening to the child.
Ethan might be a kind and fair guardian. Her Amish faith dictated that she see only the good in every man until shown otherwise. She certainly had no business suspecting Ethan Gingerich of evil, but she had to know that Micah was all right. Her life and her sister’s lives might have been so much better if someone had cared enough to check on them.
None of them had admitted their abuse to anyone. They had been too ashamed to speak of it. Only her sister Lizzie had been strong enough to break the pattern by running away. She found a wonderful home for them with their grandfather. She freed them all and saved Clara from being forced to marry an odious man.
She shuddered at the thought of what her life might have been like without her sister’s bravery. God put more courage in Lizzie’s little finger than Clara had in her whole body.
She glanced at the cornfield separating her from Ethan’s home. She might not be brave, but a child’s welfare could be at stake. She couldn’t turn away from that.
Gathering what small courage she possessed, Clara moved off the road and into the cornfield beside the lane. The tall green stalks would hide her from view. If her suspicions were groundless, Ethan need never know she had come back to check on him.
The corn patch ended a few dozen yards from the back of the house. With her heart pounding in her throat, she ran across the open strip of grass and flattened herself against the back wall of the house. Had she been seen? She waited for sounds of discovery.
It was the height of summer, so the windows were all open to catch the slightest breeze. She heard the sound of voices coming from the window near the north corner of the building. Ducking low, she passed beneath one window and stopped under the next. Two more steps would put her beside the front porch. She thought the kitchen must be on the other side of the wall where she crouched.
“I’m asking for an explanation, Micah. Now’s your chance to set the record straight.”
Only silence followed Ethan’s words. She strained to hear Micah’s reply.
“What were you thinking?”
Clara nearly jumped out of her skin. Ethan had moved to stand beside the window where she was hunkering. He was directly above her. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried not to breathe.
Please, Lord, don’t let him see me.
Finally, she heard heavy footsteps moving away, followed by the scrape of a chair across the floor. She took a badly needed breath. Ethan said, “Micah, what am I to do with you?”
“Are you going to send me away?”
It was the first she had heard from the boy. He didn’t sound as if he was in pain, but she heard the worry under his words.
“Nee.”
“Because no one wants me?”
“Why do you say that?”
“I overheard Great Aenti May say that she would take Lily if Great Aenti Carol would take Amos. Neither of them wanted to take me.”
Clara pressed a hand to her lips. The poor child. To know he wasn’t wanted had to hurt deeply.
Ethan cleared his throat. “I’m not sending any of you away. Your papa wanted all of you to stay together. Your actions today show your disrespect for his memory more clearly than words. How would he feel if Mrs. Lapp came to him to complain you injured one of her animals? Your papa loved animals.”
Why didn’t Ethan tell the boy he wanted him? It was what the child needed to hear. Clara knew how it felt to be unwanted and unloved. Her heart broke for Micah.
“I reckon I’d get a spanking for what I did.”
“I reckon you would if he was here. Go to your room and think on how disappointed he would be with you. Send your brother and your sister down. You will sit and reflect alone and in silence.”
“They aren’t upstairs.”
“Are you sure?”
“I checked before you came in.”
“Where are they?” Ethan demanded.
“I don’t know.”
A chair scraped again. “Lily! Amos! Where are you?” There was an edge of panic in Ethan’s voice. She heard his boots pounding up the stairs inside.
He wasn’t going to beat Micah. She’d put herself in this foolish position for nothing. Now was her chance to leave, but what if he looked out one of the upstairs windows and saw her running across the lawn? Should she risk it? Could she make the cornfield before she was spotted?
Suddenly, she heard a childish giggle that was quickly smothered. It came from under the porch. Clara noticed a small opening in the latticework where the porch met the house. Looking through the gap, she saw a little girl of about four sitting cross-legged in the dirt with her hands clasped over her mouth. A boy a little older was seated behind her.
Taking her hands away from her mouth, the little girl pouted. “Oh, you found us.”
“What are you doing under there?” Clara whispered. She could hear Ethan calling for them from the upstairs.
“We’re playing hide-and-seek. We’re hiding from Onkel Ethan.”
That was exactly what Clara wanted to do. She heard his footsteps pound down the stairs. Now was her chance to run. “Micah, check out back,” he yelled.
No! If Micah was out back, she couldn’t pass him without being seen, and he was certain to recognize her.
In a few seconds, Ethan would be on the front porch. He was sure to check along this side of the house. He would find her snooping like a thief outside his home. How would she explain herself?
She couldn’t. There was only one choice.
She smiled at the two children and pleaded, “May I join your game?”
They nodded. She quickly wiggled into the opening and held her breath as the front door banged open above her.
Chapter Two (#ulink_7e66436c-d01a-5a36-af61-d1a24e9598a6)
Ethan came out onto his front porch and stood with his hands on his hips as he scanned the yard for the missing children. How could they disappear so quickly? He couldn’t keep an eye on them every minute. How did mothers manage when they had half a dozen or more to keep track of every day?
He’d seen both Amos and Lily less than an hour ago. They had been playing on the swing set in the backyard until he sent them inside to clean their rooms. In the meanwhile, he’d gone out to care for his horses. Then he had been sidetracked by Faith Lapp and her pretty, shy friend Clara.
He called for Amos and Lily again but got no answer. Where should he search first? The barn? The henhouse? The creek? Where would a five-year-old and a four-year-old decide to go without telling him?
“Do you see them?” Micah asked as he came jogging around from the back of the house.
“Nee. Do you have any idea where they might be? Did they go with you to the Lapp farm?” He would send Micah back to the neighbors and enlist their aid if he couldn’t find the children soon.
Please, Lord, don’t let anything have happened to them.
“I went by myself. I didn’t want them tagging along,” Micah said.
“Are you sure they didn’t follow you?”
The boy shrugged. “I guess they could have, but I didn’t see them.”
“You go check the henhouse and the other outbuildings. I’ll check the barn. Maybe they’re playing up in the hayloft and can’t hear me calling.”
“I thought you wanted me to go to my room.”
Ethan scowled at his nephew in renewed annoyance. “After we find your brother and sister.”
“They’re probably just hiding from you.”
That took Ethan aback. “Why would they hide from me?”
“Because they like to play hide-and-seek.”
“Since when?”
“Since always. You just never pay attention to them.” Micah jumped off the porch and strode toward the henhouse.
Ethan raked a hand through his hair. The boy was right. He paid attention to his horses and to his work. He loved his brother’s children, but he didn’t know them. He headed toward the barn and prayed the two little ones hadn’t gone to the Lapp farm. He really did not want to face Faith and Clara again with more of his wayward children in tow.
* * *
Through the white painted latticework that bordered the porch, Clara watched Ethan enter the large red barn that stood fifty yards east of the house. The moment he was out of sight, she wiggled backward from beneath the porch. She motioned to the two children to come out, as well. “The game is over now. Your onkel is worried because he can’t find you. I want you both to wait for him on the porch steps.”
The little boy frowned and shook his head. “He didn’t say alle alle achts und frei.”
How could he call for everyone to come in because they were free? The poor man wasn’t aware that the game was on. How long would the pair have remained hidden? She didn’t want Ethan to find out. “I will say it. Alle alle achts und frei.”
“We won.” Lily beamed as she crawled out. She was covered with dirt and cobwebs. Her brother followed her in a similar state. Clara suspected that she looked the same.
“Ja, you won. You found the perfect hiding place.” Were these little ones scared of Ethan? Was that why they were hiding?
Clara brushed them off as best she could and glanced toward the barn. There was no sign of Ethan, but he could reappear at any moment. “Why were you hiding from your onkel?”
“’Cause we like to play hide-and-seek.”
“Why didn’t you tell him you were playing with him?”
“I told him I wanted to play hide-and-seek,” Amos said, but his gaze was on his bare toes.
“And what did he say?” she prompted.
“He said to clean our rooms,” he admitted.
“We did and then we hid,” Lily added with a grin.
Clara glanced toward the barn again. She had to get going. “Next time, you must make sure he knows he is playing the game before you hide.”
“We will,” Lily said with a nod.
Clara smiled at her. “Promise you’ll stay on the porch until your onkel returns?”
“We promise,” Amos said.
Lily nodded solemnly. “Will you come and play with us again?”
“Maybe, but today is our little secret, right? We won’t tell anyone about our hiding place.”
“We won’t tell,” Amos assured her.
“Danki.” Clara couldn’t waste any more time. After checking and not seeing Ethan or Micah, she scurried around the corner of the house and ran across the lawn into the cornfield. She pushed through the thick green leaves and between the stalks as she rushed on. Even when she reached the road, she didn’t slow down until she was a good half mile away from the farm.
A stitch in her side finally brought her to a halt. She looked back as she struggled to catch her breath. There was no sign of Ethan Gingerich. She was safe.
Grateful to escape from an extremely embarrassing situation of her own making without being discovered, she breathed a silent prayer of thanks. Just the thought of Ethan finding her lurking under his porch made her cringe. She wouldn’t have had to worry about keeping her dignity intact because she would have died of embarrassment on the spot.
It would have served her right to be found hiding like a mongrel dog. She had doubted the goodness of Ethan Gingerich. To do so was wrong and showed the weakness of her faith. It was something she strived to overcome with prayer, but she had a long way to go.
Not all men were like her uncle and the ruthless man he tried to make her marry. Ethan wasn’t cruel. He might not know how to handle the children, but he wasn’t unkind to them.
She glanced over her shoulder once more and began walking quickly toward her grandfather’s sheep farm. She hadn’t told the children her name. She had to pray they wouldn’t figure out who she was and tell Ethan about her actions. Hopefully, she wouldn’t have to face him again for a long, long time.
* * *
When Ethan came out of the barn after checking every hiding place he could think of he saw Lily and Amos sitting on the front steps of the house. They were safe. He strode toward them, his relief quickly turning to frustration and annoyance. He had wasted a large part of his morning dealing with first one child and then the others.
He stopped in front of the steps and crossed his arms. “Where have you been? Didn’t you hear me calling you?”
Lily and Amos exchanged guilty glances. Amos said, “We heard you.”
“Why didn’t you answer me?”
“That’s not the way to play the game,” Lily explained.
Ethan gave her a stern look. “Exactly what game were you playing? Give Onkel Ethan gray hair?”
Lily shook her head. “I don’t know that game.”
Ethan drew a hand down his face to wipe away his grin. He struggled to keep a firm tone. “Were you playing hide-and-seek?”
She smiled brightly. “Ja, and we won.”
Amos grinned, too. “You never found us.”
“The next time you decide to play hide-and-seek you must make sure that I know you’re playing.”
The smile vanished from Lily’s face and she sighed heavily. “That’s what our friend said.”
Amos elbowed her in the side. “That’s a secret.”
Her eyes widened and she clapped a hand to her mouth. “I forgot,” she mumbled.
Ethan glanced around for another child but didn’t see one. “Was there someone else playing with you? Who was it?”
Amos pressed his lips into a thin line and folded his arms tightly. Lily glanced at him and did the same.
Baffled by their refusal to answer him, he stared at their set faces. Should he demand they tell him who else was playing with them? Did it matter? It did if a child was hiding somewhere and his or her parents didn’t know where. He would have to try a different tactic.
He glanced at the position of the sun in the sky. “It’s almost lunchtime. Are you two hungry?”
“I sure am.” Amos jumped to his feet.
“Me, too. Can we have macaroni and cheese?” Lily asked.
“I reckon that’ll be as good a meal as any.” It was something he could fix without much fuss. Thankfully, the children hadn’t tired of it.
“Yum!” Lily’s big grin sent warmth shooting through his chest. She was an adorable child. She looked so much like her mother. It was up to him to see that she grew into a modest and devout woman, too. The thought filled him with dread. He had no idea how to accomplish that feat.
“Will your friend want some, too?” he asked, casually glancing around again for another child.
“She’s gone home,” Lily said, heading toward the door.
Micah ambled across the yard and stopped beside Ethan. He shoved his hands deep in his pockets. “I see you found them. Are you going to give them a spanking?”
Lily spun around looking horrified. She held her hands over her backside. “I don’t want a spanking.”
Ethan shook his head. “No one is getting spanked. But Micah is going to his room to think about what he did wrong today. After lunch, you little ones can go play on the swings, but I don’t want you to leave the backyard without telling me. Is that understood?”
They both nodded solemnly, but he had to wonder as he held open the door for them just how long they would remember his instructions.
* * *
Clara sat in Faith’s workroom on Saturday morning and spun the final carding of fleece into fine strands of yarn. She glanced out the window, but the branches of the tree overhanging the alpacas’ pen were empty. The animals grazed peacefully beneath it.
She hadn’t mentioned her meeting with Ethan or her return visit to his farm to her family. She preferred to forget about her foolish behavior and put it behind her, but she constantly found herself wondering how Ethan was doing. Not that it was any of her business. Still, even knowing that didn’t keep thoughts of him at bay. He needed help with those children. She hoped he wasn’t too proud to ask for it.
Faith came in from the kitchen. “Are you finished already?”
“That is the last of it.” Clara stopped the wheel and handed a spindle full of white alpaca yarn to Faith.
Faith took it and added it to an overflowing basket. “I’m glad to be done, but I am truly going to miss your company, Clara. I never would have finished in time without you. These orders can go out tomorrow.”
Faith’s husband, Adrian, came in holding their three-month-old daughter, Ruby. “Micah Gingerich is here. He says that you have chores you want him to do?”
“Indeed I have.” Faith sprang to her feet and marched out of the room.
Adrian laughed. “Never mess with that woman’s child or her alpacas.”
Clara held out her arms. “May I hold Ruby for a while? I will miss the time I’ve spent with you and with Faith, but it is this little one that I shall miss the most of all.”
He handed the sleeping baby to her. “I had better go see what jobs Faith is assigning to Micah. It’s always best when the grown-ups present a unified front.”
Clara held the baby close as Adrian left the room. She would miss being here more than she cared to admit. She loved babies. The Lord had found a beautiful way to begin people. Children were a constant reminder of God’s love and grace in the world.
Clara’s one great sadness was that she would never hold a babe of her own. The idea of marriage was utterly repugnant after her treatment at the hands of her would-be fiancé. No, she would remain single. She took a seat in the rocker and cuddled the baby until Faith returned.
Smiling, Faith crossed the room. “I’ll take her now.”
“Are you sure I can’t take her home with me?”
Faith propped her hands on her hips. “I could let you, but you’ll bring her back about three o’clock in the morning.”
“My sisters and I have raised a dozen bottle lambs on our grandfather’s farm this spring. I think we could manage this little lamb, too.”
Faith lifted the babe from her arms. “I’m sure you could. You will have babes of your own someday. Is there any young man in our community who has caught your fancy?” Faith asked with a quick peek in Clara’s direction and a knowing smile.
“Nee, marriage isn’t for me.” Clara looked down and didn’t elaborate. Oddly, Ethan’s face popped into her head. He needed a wife to look after his children.
Why should she think of him now?
Faith took a seat in the chair beside her. “I know some of your story, Clara. I know you escaped marriage to a brutal man by running away on your wedding day.”
Clara looked up, startled. “How did you find out?”
“Your sister Lizzie told me about it.”
“It was by the grace of God and by my sister Lizzie’s determination to save me that I was spared a life of hopelessness and pain.” Clara laid a hand to her cheek as she remembered the painful slap of Rufus’s heavy hand striking her.
Faith nodded. “Lizzie was very brave to travel all the way from Indiana to Hope Springs on her own. She was determined to find a place for you and your sisters to live. We are all thankful that she convinced your grandfather to take you in.”
“No one is more thankful than I am. Lizzie is the brave one. I could never have done what she did. If Rufus Kuhns had been determined to marry her instead of me, I wouldn’t have been able to save her.”
“You don’t know that,” Faith said gently.
“Ja, I do.”
“Is it true that Lizzie is going to marry your grandfather’s hired man in the fall?”
Relieved to speak of something else, Clara smiled. “Ja.”
“Carl King seems like a good man.”
Clara bit the corner of her lip. “I think he is.”
“You think, but you aren’t sure?”
Was she that transparent? Over the past few months, as the women had worked side by side in the bright and cheerful room, Clara had shared some of her life and had learned some of Faith’s story, as well. Faith’s first husband had been an abusive man. She had been a widow when she moved to Hope Springs.
Clara looked up and gazed intently into Faith’s eyes. “How did you know that Adrian wouldn’t turn out to be cruel, too? Weren’t you afraid?”
Faith smiled gently. “Of course I was. I felt as you do. I thought I would never be able to trust another man, but Adrian changed all that the first time he touched my face. There was so much gentleness in that touch. I knew he would never hurt me. I understand your fear, but there are good men, kind men, men who spend a lifetime loving their wives and being helpmates. You will find one.”
The very idea of submitting to a husband turned her insides cold. “My head tells me what you say is right, but I don’t feel that way. And this conversation has no point because there is no one interested in courting me. I should be getting home. I told Lizzie that I would help her finish canning corn this afternoon.”
“I understand. I’ll pray for you, Clara. I will pray that God has someone special in mind for you.”
Clara gathered her things together. “Pray that I get hired as the new schoolteacher. That’s what I truly want to do. I want to teach and take care of dozens of children. I can’t imagine a more perfect job.”
“Okay, I’ll do that, too. I’ll see you again at the Sunday’s service.”
The two women kissed each other’s cheeks, and Clara left the room. Outside, she saw Micah carrying a large armload of alfalfa hay toward the alpacas’ enclosure. She crossed the yard toward him. “Good day, Micah. I’m glad to see you have come to do chores as you promised.”
“My onkel promised I would come. I didn’t.”
His sullen expression worried her. “Your onkel was right in this. Your punishment could have been much worse.”
“Worse than the whipping I took? I doubt it. A lot you care. You’re the one who got me in trouble.”
“You got into trouble all by yourself, Micah. You have no reason to blame me. I seriously doubt that your onkel Ethan gave you a whipping.”
“He did. The minute you left he...he paddled me so hard I couldn’t sit down for hours.”
Clara folded her arms over her chest. “You are a very poor liar, Micah Gingerich.”
“I am not!”
She arched her eyebrow. “You’re not a poor liar? Then I reckon that makes you a good liar.”
He scowled at her. “I’ve got to go feed those stupid animals.” He trudged away without looking at her again.
She shook her head and muttered under her breath, “Poor Ethan. You really have your hands full with this one.”
How would he manage? It was painfully clear the boy was determined to tread the wrong path. Such defiance in one so young did not bode well for the family.
As she watched Micah enter the corral, she saw him spread out the hay, then slowly reach his hand toward one of the babies in the group who had come close to investigate. The hopeful expression on Micah’s face told her he liked the alpacas even if he wouldn’t admit it.
The baby stretched his nose toward Micah. The tentative exchange was cut short when Myrtle alerted the rest of the herd with a shrill whistling sound. The baby and all the others scampered away from Micah to the opposite side of the corral. He kicked the hay at his feet and stomped off.
Clara left the Lapp farm and walked toward her grandfather’s home. As she followed the winding country road, she couldn’t stop thinking about Micah’s attitude and Ethan’s inability to connect with the boy. Was there some way she could help?
She didn’t see how. Her job with Faith was finished for this summer. She wouldn’t be back to see how Micah faired with his week of chores unless she simply came for a visit.
Since the Gingeriches were members of a different church congregation, Micah wouldn’t attend the school where she hoped to teach. If she got the job, and if he were one of her students, she would have some contact and influence over him, but she couldn’t see a way to spend time with the troubled boy as things stood now.
She was crossing the small bridge that spanned Cherry Creek just beyond Ethan’s lane when she heard a familiar giggle. She stopped and peered over the railing. Lily and Amos were knee-deep in the muddy water below her. She quickly looked around for Ethan, but he was nowhere in sight.
She leaned her arms on the railing. “What are you doing?”
Lily looked up at her and grinned. She held a huge frog in her hands. The front of her dress was covered in mud and slime “See what I caught?”
“I see. That’s a beautiful frog.”
Amos was creeping toward the bank with his hands outstretched. “I’m going to get me one, too.”
He launched himself toward the shore. The bullfrog that was his target leaped over his head and disappeared into the muddy depths of the creek.
Clara tried not to laugh. “Where is your onkel?”
“He’s got a sick cow,” Lily said. “He told us to go play.”
“Do you think that he meant to go play in the creek? You are both very muddy.”
Amos looked from the front of his clothes to his sister’s sopping dress. “He didn’t say not to play in the creek.”
“I’m certain this is not what he had in mind. Come out of there.”
“Can I keep my frog?” Lily asked hopefully.
“I think he will be happier if you leave him in his own home.”
Amos waded to her side. “Let him go. We can catch him another time.”
“Okay.” She didn’t look happy about it, but she put him back in the water and giggled as he quickly swam away.
The children climbed up to the road beside Clara. Lily reached for her hand. Clara flinched slightly but grasped the child’s muddy fingers. Lily grinned at her. “What’s your name?”
“I’m Clara Barkman.”
“Have you come to play with us again?” She gave a beaming smile that melted Clara’s heart. What an adorable child she was.
“I’m just going to walk you home.”
“We didn’t tell about our hiding place,” Amos assured her.
“That’s good. Of course, if your onkel asks about it, you must tell him the truth.” She didn’t want the children to lie to cover up her foolishness. If Ethan found out, she would face the consequences.
Right now, she had two very muddy, wet children to deliver to his door. She wasn’t looking forward to their meeting.
Chapter Three (#ulink_e7ce2a9f-5678-5114-99ec-bc5db8875062)
“Come on, Olga. You can do it. Just push a couple more times.”
Ethan had spent the better part of three hours helping his cow deliver her first calf. The calf had been turned wrong. It had been a monumental struggle to get it into the correct position. For a few tense hours, he thought he might lose them both. As it was, Olga was tiring after laboring all night. He pulled on the calf’s front legs to help ease it out into the world. He wasn’t sure it would survive, but he wanted to save both of them.
“Mr. Gingerich, may I have a word with you?”
He jerked his head around to see Clara Barkman standing outside the stall. Now what? Was Micah in trouble again? “I’m a little busy at the moment.” He pulled harder on the front legs of the calf when he felt the cow straining.
“Your two littlest children were playing down at the creek.”
“So?”
“They were in the creek.”
He scowled at her. “Are they okay?”
“They are fine. Muddy from head to toe, but fine.”
The calf came free, and he lowered it to the straw. “Come on, little one. Breathe.”
It was a small heifer. She struggled weakly. He quickly cleared the nostrils with his gloves. Her tongue was purple. It didn’t look good for her.
“I’ll take care of the children,” Clara said.
“Fine. Hand me that blanket.” He pointed to the corner of the stall. She slipped in and handed him the coarse bundle of fabric. “Danki.”
He wrapped the calf in it and began to dry her, rubbing vigorously to stimulate her breathing. She began to respond with deeper breaths and finally a weak bawl. The next time he looked up, Clara was gone.
He worked to get the calf breathing well then standing, and finally he guided her to her mother’s udder for her first meal. When she latched on and began to nurse, he let out a sigh of relief. It looked as if she was going to be okay.
He watched them for a while to make sure mother and daughter were bonding and doing well, then he left the stall and walked up to the house. He didn’t see Clara or the kids, but the sound of shrieks led him to the backyard.
Both his nephew and niece were sitting in a large blue plastic tub of soapy water and splashing each other. Clara was wringing out one of Lily’s dresses at a second tub. She shook it open and carried it to the clothesline, where a row of dresses, shirts and pants already waved in the hot summer breeze.
Lily saw him first. “I caught a frog, Onkel Ethan. It was a big one. Amos didn’t catch any. Clara made me let it go.”
There was still a trace of mud on her head. He squatted beside the tub and picked up the sponge that floated between them. He gently rinsed her hair. Clara stood beside the clothesline with her gaze fastened to her feet and her hands clasped in front of her. He said, “That sounds like an exciting adventure. Are you supposed to go to the creek alone?”
“Amos was with me.”
“I see. Amos, was it wise to take your sister to the creek without telling me?”
“I guess not,” Amos admitted slowly.
“The creek is very deep in places. Can Lily swim?”
Amos looked at his sister. “Can you?”
She shook her head. “No, but the frogs swim really fast. I’m going to swim like a frog someday. You can teach me, Onkel Ethan.”
Ethan smiled at her enthusiasm. Lily did everything with gusto. “I would if I could, but I don’t know how to swim. I’ll find someone to teach you pretty quick, but until I do, no more wading in the creek. It’s dangerous.”
Lily frowned at him. “Not even if Clara is with us?”
He looked at the shy beauty standing beside the fresh laundry. “I think God was looking out for you today by sending Clara along when He did. I’m grateful to Him and to her.”
“She’s lots of fun. She plays with us,” Lily said with a big grin for her new friend.
He stood and faced Clara. “She’s a very nice lady. I see she has washed all your clothes, too. We’d better thank her properly.”
Amos tipped his head to the side. “How do we do that?”
“Why don’t we ask her if we can give her a ride home so she doesn’t have to walk all the way in this heat?”
Amos rose to his feet. A stream of soap suds slid down his belly. “Miss Barkman, may we offer you a ride home?”
Ethan watched Clara struggle not to laugh. His nephew’s gallant offer was a bit comical considering his lack of attire. Ethan picked up a nearby towel, wrapped it around the boy and lifted him from the tub.
Lily stood, and Clara wrapped her in a towel before lifting her out of the water, too. As they faced each other with the children in their arms, Ethan wished he could see Clara’s eyes, but she wouldn’t look at him. He waited for her to speak.
Finally, she nodded. “A ride would be nice. I live with my grandfather, Joseph Shetler. Do you know him?”
“The one they call Woolly Joe, the sheep farmer? I’ve been by the place. It’s a long walk from here. I thought you lived with the Lapp family.”
“I worked for Faith Lapp. I’m a spinner, but my job there is finished for the year. I hope you don’t mind that I bathed the children out here. I didn’t want them trudging through the house in the state they were in.”
“It looks like a good idea to me. Come on, kids. Let’s get dressed and take Clara home.”
“The children have only nightclothes to wear. I’ve washed all the rest. Nothing else was clean.”
“I’ve been meaning to do their laundry,” he admitted. Along with a dozen other chores he couldn’t find time to get done.
She glanced at him, and he caught a glimpse of her stunning blue eyes before she dropped her gaze again. Her cheeks grew pale. “I didn’t mean that as a criticism.”
“I didn’t take it as such. The children and I appreciate your neighborly gesture. Danki.”
“You are wilkumm,” she replied in a small voice.
“Micah should be home soon. We’ll have lunch when he gets here. The clothes should be dry by then, don’t you think?”
She nodded without speaking. He hefted Amos to get a better hold on the boy and carried him toward the house. “Olga has had a new heifer. You children will have to help me name her.”
“Let’s call her Clara,” Lily said. He heard Clara’s bitten-off laughter quickly turn into a cough. It proved she had a sense of humor.
She said, “That’s very sweet, Lily, but it might get confusing. What if you said you wanted to go picking strawberries with Clara and your onkel gave the calf a basket?”
Lily said, “That’s silly.”
“Let’s choose a different name.” Ethan held open the back door so that Clara could go inside. She hesitated, but then rushed past him. She was as skittish as a wild colt. Why was she afraid of him?
* * *
What on earth had possessed her to accept a ride home with Ethan? Clara had agreed because she didn’t want to hurt Amos’s feelings, but she hadn’t thought about spending the next hour with Ethan watching her every move. He made her feel like jumping out of her skin.
“How about Heidi for a name?” Amos suggested.
Ethan set the boy on the floor and appeared to give the idea careful consideration. “Heidi the Heifer. It has a certain ring to it. What do you think, Lily?”
Lily, still in Clara’s arms, worked her hands out of the towel and cupped Clara’s face. “I like it. Do you like it, Clara?”
Clara’s heart turned over with a surge of emotion at the child’s touch. What she wouldn’t give to have a little girl of her own like Lily. “It’s an excellent name. Let’s go and put your nightgown on until your clothes get dry.”
She carried the child up the stairs, happy to escape Ethan’s watchful eyes.
Once in the girl’s room, Clara finished drying the child and helped her dress in a white cotton nightgown with a tiny pink ribbon threaded through the lace at the neckline. “Sit down and let me comb and braid your hair.”
Lily climbed on the bed and sat cross-legged with her toes peeking from beneath the hem of her gown. She tipped her head to the side. “Clara, will you be my friend?”
“I would be delighted to be your friend, Lily.” Clara began to pull a comb gently through the girl’s tangled hair.
“What do friends do?”
“Friends do all kinds of things together.” She finished combing and began to braid the wet strands.
“Like what?”
“Friends visit each other. Sometimes they help each other with problems. They play games. When you are older, you can go to quilting bees and singings and simply enjoy each other’s company.”
“Do you enjoy my company?”
Clara smiled. “Very much.”
“I think I like having you for a friend.”
Clara secured the end of Lily’s braid with an elastic band. “I like having you for a friend, too.”
“Do you want to play hide-and-seek?”
Clara flicked the end of Lily’s nose with her finger. “Nee, for I have just got you clean. No hide-and-seek today.”
“Tomorrow?”
Sitting on the bed beside the child, Clara said, “I won’t be back tomorrow.”
Lily’s smile vanished. “Why not?”
“Because my job with the Lapp family is finished. I’m not sure when we will see each other again.”
“But you are my friend, and I want you to play with me.” Lily’s lower lip began to quiver.
Clara wrapped her arms around the child. “We will plan a visit. How about that? Someday soon. I’ll ask your onkel to bring you to my grandfather’s farm so you can see all our sheep and meet our dog, Duncan.”
“When?”
“I’ll work that out with your onkel, but it won’t be long.”
“Promise?”
Ethan didn’t seem to mind her giving the children a bath, but how would he feel about bringing Lily for a visit? Looking at the child’s hopeful face, Clara decided to ask and hoped her courage wouldn’t desert her when she was face-to-face with him. “I promise. Now smile for me. It makes my heart happy when I see a grin on your face.”
Lily complied. Amos came upstairs still wrapped in his towel. She left him to get dressed in his room. When he came out in his pajamas, he had a wooden puzzle in his hands. “Onkel said we were to play up here until he calls us to eat.”
“Okay.” Lily slipped to the floor and the two of them began to assemble the puzzle on the blue-and-white braided rag rug beside her bed.
Clara went down to see what she could do to help Ethan. The kitchen smelled of cooking ham. Ethan stood at the stove with his back to her, frying the meat in a skillet. There was a freshly sliced loaf of bread on the table along with a bowl of tomatoes.
Clara saw that Micah was home. The boy was setting the table. He paused when he caught sight of Clara. “What’s she doing here?”
“She has been taking care of your brother and sister.”
“Spying on us, you mean. She’s always spying.”
Clara’s stomach lurched. She pressed a hand to her midsection. Her foolish behavior was about to be exposed.
Ethan turned from the stove to scowl at the boy. “Apologize to Clara right now, Micah.”
“But it’s true. She was watching me at the Lapp farm, waiting to get me in trouble. She was watching me again today. Now she’s here in our house.”
Clara’s knees went weak with relief. He didn’t seem to know about her return visit the first time she came here.
Ethan glanced at her and back to Micah. “Only someone doing wrong fears discovery. If you are afraid Clara will see you doing something wrong, then you must have something to hide.”
“Everyone thinks I’m bad.” Micah slammed down the plate and raced out of the house.
Ethan sighed heavily. “I apologize for my nephew’s behavior.”
Clara was more ashamed then ever by her suspicions about Ethan. “I wasn’t spying on Micah.”
“I know that.”
“I was spying on you.” She bowed her head, unable to face him.
“On me?”
She nodded. “I came back after Faith and I left the other day and I listened beneath the window to your conversation with Micah.”
“Why would you do that?”
Clara closed her eyes in shame. “I was afraid you would beat him.”
He didn’t reply. She chanced a look at him and saw disbelief written on his face. Quickly, she said, “When my parents died, my sisters and I went to live with our onkel. He wasn’t kind.”
“He was cruel to you?”
She nodded, unable to speak past the lump in her throat.
After a long pause, he said, “I see. Have your fears for my children been eased, or have I given you more to worry about?”
He was offended. She didn’t blame him. She swallowed hard. “I was wrong, and I beg your forgiveness. I don’t need that ride home. Tell the children I said goodbye.”
She rushed out of the house before he could say anything else, before he could see the tears of shame that sprang to her eyes and trickled down her cheeks.
* * *
It was a long hot walk home, but Clara barely noticed the distance or the growing heat of the early July day. She was too humiliated to care about the sun beating down on her shoulders or the dust she kicked up on the road. It was unlikely that Ethan would bring Lily to visit her now. Although she had only met the children briefly, she was quite taken with Amos and Lily. She would have enjoyed seeing them again.
Clara looked up at the cloudless sky. It seemed that her poor behavior had cost her more than dented dignity. It was a hard lesson that she wouldn’t soon forget.
When she finally reached her grandfather’s home, she found her sisters hard at work. Lizzie stood at the stove sweating over a huge pan of simmering ears of corn. At the back of the stove, a pressure cooker began to whistle. Lizzie used a pair of thick oven mitts to move it off the heat. At the kitchen table, her youngest sister, Betsy, was cutting the kernels off the cobs into a bowl while Greta packed them into glass jars.
“Oh, good, you’re home.” Lizzie smiled brightly.
Surrounded by her family, Clara let go of her self-pity. She had made a mistake. It couldn’t be undone. It couldn’t be changed. Life went on. She would remember Ethan and his family in her prayers, but that was all she could do. Perhaps in time, he would forgive her, but she couldn’t dwell on her blunders.
She looked around the room at the people who loved her and accepted her as she was.
“What can I do to help?” she asked, not wanting to think about Ethan anymore.
Lizzie checked the simmering corn ears with a long fork, then put the lid back on the kettle. “You can gather and shuck more ears for us. We’ve put up thirty pints, but we should hurry and put up thirty more before the corn hardens in this heat.”
“Okay. Where is Naomi?” Clara asked.
Naomi was their grandfather’s new wife. After years of loving each other from afar, the Lord had finally given them the courage to begin a new chapter of their lives together. All the girls adored her. It was easy to see how happy she made their grandfather.
“Naomi and Daadi have gone into town to visit Naomi’s daughter. We got word this morning after you had gone that Emma had her baby.”
“How wonderful. Is it a boy or a girl?” Clara asked even as she shook off a stab of jealousy. She wanted children, too, but that required a husband. After her narrow escape, she was content to remain single. Teaching would be her calling.
“Emma had a baby girl. She and Adam haven’t decided on a name yet,” Greta said.
Betsy tossed her empty cob into a bucket at her feet and picked up another ear of corn. “Naomi will be spending a week or two with them so she can help with the baby and with running the inn.”
“How was your day, Clara?” Greta asked.
“It was fine. I’ll go bring in some more corn.” She didn’t want to talk about Ethan and his family. Her embarrassment was too fresh in her mind.
Outside, she faced the corn patch Greta had tended so carefully through the spring and early summer. A red wagon with an empty crate in it sat beside the garden gate. She took the handle and pulled it to the end of the row. Leaving the wagon, she walked in among the green stalks. The smell of the corn and the rustling of the broad leaves in the breeze were a painful reminder of her visit to spy on Ethan.
She grasped the first ear. The corn silk reminded her of Lily’s baby-fine blond hair. Clara peeled back a strip of corn husk to reveal the kernels beneath. Using her thumbnail, she pressed into one. A small splatter of juice told her the ear was perfect for picking. She pulled both ears off the stalk and moved to the next plant.
Who would be canning corn for Ethan and his family? Perhaps some of the women in his church planned to do it for him. Or maybe he had family members who would come and take care of such things. She couldn’t envision Ethan happily canning vegetables in his kitchen, but she knew there were men who enjoyed such tasks.
He would need a wife now that he had his brother’s children to care for. Even her short time with his family was enough to see he needed a woman’s touch in the home.
And why was she thinking about him again?
She sighed and kept working. It wasn’t as easy to forget about him as she had hoped.
* * *
“I want Clara to do this.” Lily sniffled and pulled the hairbrush from Ethan’s hand. She had been crying and asking for Clara all evening. He was at his wit’s end. Hopefully, a good night’s sleep would put Lily in a better frame of mind.
“Clara isn’t here, and if I don’t braid your hair tonight it will be full of tangles in the morning.” He held out his hand.
She threw the brush across the room. “I don’t care. I want to see my friend. She said you would take me to her house to meet her dog and her sheep. Why can’t we go there?”
He walked across the room and picked up the brush. “It’s getting dark outside, and it’s time for bed, Lily. Clara will be asleep soon, and so should you.”
He sat down at the edge of her bed. “Let me finish your hair.”
“I’ll do it.” She took the brush from him and managed to smooth most of the strands between her sniffles.
When she was done, he gently braided her soft blond locks and tied a ribbon on the end. It was a lopsided braid, but it was the best he could do.
She rubbed her red-rimmed and swollen eyes with the back of her fists. “Can I go see Clara tomorrow?”
“We’ll talk about it in the morning.” He covered her with a light sheet. The truly surprising thing was how much he wanted to see Clara again, too.
“I miss her.” Lily started crying and buried her face in the pillow.
Ethan sat beside her stroking her head until her sobs tapered off and eventually stopped. When she was asleep, he went downstairs and climbed wearily into his own bed.
It felt as if he’d only had his eyes closed for a minute when he felt someone patting his face. He opened one eye. Lily, with her braid undone and her hair in a mat of tangles, stood beside his bed. Only the faintest hint of light showed around the edge of the blind over his window. It wasn’t even dawn yet.
“Can we go see Clara now?” Lily asked hopefully.
“Nee, we can’t. Stop this nonsense.”
Lily burst into tears and sobbed harder than she had yesterday.
He sat up. There wouldn’t be any more sleep for him.
He tried to console her without success. Even her brothers couldn’t distract her when they got up. Lily refused to eat her breakfast and sat hiccuping at the table. The boys kept casting worried glances in his direction.
What did he do now?
The answer was clear. He needed Clara.
* * *
Clara rose, dressed quietly so as not to wake anyone else and went downstairs to start breakfast.
The entire family had made plans to travel to Hope Springs that afternoon to visit with Naomi and her family and see the new baby. Clara looked forward to the trip. When it was almost time to leave, Clara went out to gather a few fresh sweet corn ears to take along as a gift. As she was gathering the corn, she heard a wagon approaching along the lane.
She came out of the corn patch with her armload of ears to see who it was just as an enormous pair of draft horses trotted past. She clamped her lips closed on a shriek and managed to stand still, although her arms trembled enough to make her drop a few ears.
When the wagon was past, she realized it was Ethan at the reins. He hadn’t seen her. All the children were seated beside him. She followed the wagon to the house.
Her grandfather had come out to meet the visitors. “Guter mariye. Welcome to my home.”
“Good morning. I’ve come to speak to your granddaughter.”
Joe regarded the group on the wagon with a slight smile twitching at the corner of his mouth. “Which granddaughter? I have four.”
“I wanna...see...Clara,” Lily said with a catch in her voice. Was she crying?
Clara hurried around to the side of the wagon. “Lily, what’s wrong?”
“Clara!” Lily threw herself off the wagon seat and into Clara’s arms. Ears of corn flew everywhere as Clara caught her. Lily wrapped her arms tightly around Clara’s neck and held on for dear life.
Greta, Betsy and Lizzie came out of the house to meet the visitors. They stood on each side of her grandfather. Clara wanted to send them all back inside, but she couldn’t think of a reason to do so. There would be a wagonload of questions about this visit from a stranger and his children.
Ethan looked worn to the bone. “I can’t get anything done! She’s been like this since you left yesterday. She cried herself to sleep. She started crying the minute she woke up. Nothing I’ve tried will make her stop.”
Lily’s sobs were tapering off to hiccups. Clara cringed at Ethan’s frustrated tone. She hadn’t meant to make things harder for him. Now he had one more reason to be angry with her. “I’m so sorry.”
Her grandfather moved to her side. “What has my granddaughter to do with your child’s unhappiness?”
Her face burning, Clara held her breath as she waited for Ethan to tell everyone about her appalling behavior.
Chapter Four (#ulink_4467cc05-eb32-53bd-a0d8-5875ae9fb317)
Ethan watched the color drain from Clara’s cheeks. She cast him an imploring look before she dropped her gaze.
Did she think he had come to chastise her in front of her family for spying on him? Far from it. He wasn’t sure what to make of her behavior yesterday, but he needed her help.
He hoped he wasn’t making a mistake.
“Mr. Shetler, your granddaughter came to my farm with Faith Lapp a few days ago to tell me my nephew Micah had been up to some mischief. Yesterday, she found my two youngest playing in the creek alone and brought them home. It seems the children are in need of a better caretaker than I have been. Lily, my niece, has taken a great liking to Clara. I’ve come to offer her a job.”
Everyone looked at Clara. She didn’t say anything, but she shot him a grateful glance before looking down again. She relaxed a little and pushed her hands into the pockets of her apron.
“My granddaughter has a job. She works for Faith Lapp,” Joseph said.
“It’s my understanding that Clara doesn’t work there anymore.”
Joseph turned to Clara. “Is this true?”
She nodded. The women in her family seemed surprised by the news.
“You aren’t?”
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“When did this happen?” they asked one after the other without giving her a chance to answer.
When they grew silent, Clara said, “We finished all the yarn yesterday. I thought I mentioned it last night. Maybe I didn’t.”
“There’s a lot you haven’t mentioned,” the youngest of her sisters quipped with a sharp look in Ethan’s direction.
Ethan climbed down from his wagon and approached Clara. She took a quick step back. He stopped where he was. “Perhaps we could discuss this in private?” he asked.
She glanced at her family and then nodded. She detached Lily from her neck and smiled at the child. “This is my sister Betsy. She will take you to meet some of our lambs. Would you like that?”
His niece looked uncertain. He prayed she wouldn’t start crying again. She sniffed once. “Can’t you show them to me?”
Clara lowered the girl to the ground. “I must speak with your onkel, but I will join you in a little while. Okay?”
“Okay.”
That was far easier than he had imagined. The young woman came forward and took Lily by the hand. “We have lots of sheep and some baby kittens, too. Would you like to see them?”
A smile lit Lily’s face. “I love kittens.” She took Betsy’s hand and went willingly. Her brothers tagged along after them.
It was a relief to see Lily acting normal again. Clara had a wondrous effect on the child. Ethan glanced at her. She met his gaze briefly and nodded toward the side yard. “Come this way.”
He followed her to a group of chairs arranged in a semicircle beneath the spreading branches of an elm tree. She took a seat in the shade. He sat in the chair beside her. She leaned away from him and crossed her arms tightly over her middle. “Thank you for not telling my family how I spied on you.”
“A thing that is forgiven should not be mentioned again.”
“I wasn’t sure that you had forgiven me.”
She was such a timid creature. She barely spoke loud enough for him to hear, but he didn’t move closer. He didn’t want to frighten her. It was amazing that she had found the courage to eavesdrop on him. It proved she would put the needs of a child above her own comfort. There was more to Clara Barkman than met the eye.
“Lily has been inconsolable since you left. I’m serious about the job offer. I need someone to look after the children while I’m working. I haven’t been logging since my brother, Greg, and his wife died. I need to get back to work or I won’t be able to feed my family. I can’t take them with me. It’s too dangerous to have them around chain saws and falling trees.”
“I can understand your concern.” She looked up then, and he was struck once more by how pretty she was.
Her skin was smooth and tanned by the sun. Her eyebrows arched like slender wings over her bright blue eyes. They gave her a slightly inquisitive look. He hadn’t noticed before because she was always looking down. Her hair, neatly parted in the center and swept back beneath her white kapp was blond with reddish highlights that reminded him of his teams’ shiny coats. It was easy to imagine her hair glistening in the sunlight, too. How long would it be if she let it down?
He had no business thinking such things about a maiden. Only God and a husband were allowed to gaze upon a woman’s crowning glory.
He realized he was staring when she blushed and dropped her gaze again. He hadn’t come to gawk at her. He was here to convince her to accept his job offer. He couldn’t handle the children alone. He was willing to admit that now. Clara might be the straw he was clutching for, but he was growing desperate.
“If you would consider the job, you should know I occasionally have to take work that’s too far away for me to get home at night. In that case, you may stay with the children at my place, or if you’d rather, you can bring the children home with you. I can’t pay you until I deliver a load of logs to the sawmill, but after that it will be a weekly wage. What do you think?”
“You wish to hire me as your kinder heedah?”
“Ja, as a caregiver for the children.”
She tipped her head to the side. “I had not thought of taking such a job myself. I know many young Amish girls work for the Englisch as nannies or for other Amish families as mother’s helpers.”
Ethan said, “The job would include some housekeeping chores, too. If that’s acceptable?”
“I’m not sure I can take the job although it’s very kind of you to offer. I have applied for the teaching position at Walnut Creek school. The bishop and the school board will be interviewing candidates in a few weeks. If I am chosen, I will have a lot of preparations to make before school starts in September.”
He hadn’t considered that she might have another job lined up already. “Would you consider working for me until you know for sure the teaching position is yours? Even a few weeks will give me time to find someone else.”
“I expect I owe you that much.”
He shook his head. “You don’t owe me anything.”
“I had such unkind thoughts about you. It was wrong of me.”
“And you have my forgiveness. Forget it. If you want the job, it’s yours. If you need time to think it over, could you please decide before I have to pry Lily away today? I’m not sure I can take another day of tears.”
She smiled at that. It was only the tiniest curve of her lips, but it showed a dimple in her right cheek. It reminded him of Jenny. She had deep dimples in both cheeks that appeared every time she smiled. She used to smile at him and make his heart leap, but her smiles were all for someone else now. He swallowed hard against the tightness in his throat.
“Don’t you have a family member who could help with the children?” Clara asked.
It was his turn to stare at the ground. “Greg was my only sibling. I have two aunts, who live in the community where we grew up in Indiana. One is willing to take Lily. The other one is willing to take Amos. My aunts are in their sixties. Neither of them is willing to take all the children and keep them together. Since Micah will be in school, they think I should keep him. He has a reputation for being something of a troublemaker.”
“Well earned, I’m sure. I can understand why you don’t want to split them up. I can’t imagine being separated from my sisters. It would be heartbreaking.”
He was tempted to tell her about his childhood. That was odd. He never spoke of it. Instead, he said, “My brother and his wife would want them to stay together. I know that as sure as I’m sitting here. I took the children without a second thought, but I had no idea how difficult it was going to be.”
“You are blessed to have them.”
Her wistful tone gave him hope. “I know that I am, and I want to raise them as Greg and his Mary would have liked.”
She nodded. “I will discuss your offer with my grandfather. If he agrees, I’ll look after the children until I find out if the teaching job is mine or not.”
“And if the school board chooses someone else?”
“Why don’t we wait and see how it goes until then. Do you think Micah will object to having me there?”
“Micah objects to everything these days. He’ll get over it.”
“I don’t wish to cause more trouble for the two of you.”
“If you agree, there won’t be any trouble at all.” He hoped and prayed that would be the case, but with Micah, he never knew.
* * *
“I don’t think you should take the job.” Greta folded her arms over her chest.
Back inside the house, Clara and two of her sisters were seated at the kitchen table while their grandfather spoke to Ethan outside. Betsy was still down in the barn with the children.
“Why shouldn’t I?” Clara glanced toward the door. What was Ethan telling her grandfather? She didn’t think he would relate how she spied on him, but she hated not knowing.
Greta scowled as she shook her head. “There is something not right about him.”
“You’re imagining things,” Lizzie said. “I didn’t see anything wrong with him.”
Greta straightened in her chair. “It was the way he looked at you, Clara.”
“How did he look at me?” Had she missed something? So often her gaze was fastened to her shoes. It wasn’t modesty. It was apprehension that kept her from looking life in the face. It seemed that she was always afraid.
Greta leaned her forearms on the table. “I don’t know how to describe it. It was like he couldn’t take his eyes off you. Besides, if you thought he was a nice fellow, why didn’t you mention meeting him? Not once, but twice.”
It was time to fess up. “I didn’t say anything because after Faith and I took Micah home, I went back to spy on Ethan.”
“Why?” Greta asked.
“To see if he was as cruel to Micah as our onkel was to us. I’m ashamed to admit that I eavesdropped outside his window. I was nearly discovered, but I hid under his porch like a scolded dog. It’s not an easy thing to confess.”
Lizzie began to giggle. “I would have given a lot to see that. You are always so proper, Clara. I can’t imagine you crawling under a porch. You never did things like that even when we were children.”
“With good reason. There was dirt and cobwebs. A lot of cobwebs. It is not something I intend to repeat.” She was still embarrassed by the incident, but she could see how Lizzie found it amusing.
Lizzie folded her hands on the table. “I think you should take the job. I think taking care of his children for a few weeks is the perfect way to see if you are cut out to be a teacher.”
Clara cocked her head to the side. “Why wouldn’t I be cut out to be a teacher?”
“I’m not saying that you aren’t. I’m just saying it is something you’ve never tried. It might be worse than crawling under a porch.”
“I doubt that,” Clara said as she suppressed a shudder.
Lizzie’s grin widened. “It will give you a chance to find out if you like taking care of children before you commit to doing it for a year.”
“You seem to forget that I took care of all of you for years. Especially Betsy.”
Lizzie shrugged. “Taking care of younger sisters is a far cry from taking care of a whole school.”
Greta shook her head. “I still think it’s a bad idea. We don’t know Ethan Gingerich. He hasn’t been in this community for long, and he isn’t a member of our church. I just think it’s a bad idea.”
Lizzie brushed aside her objections with a wave of her hand. “We haven’t been here long, but we were welcomed with open arms. We should not do less.”
“I haven’t made up my mind,” Clara admitted.
Lizzie rose to her feet. “You should pray about it. In the meantime, we have a supper to finish putting together. Those baskets won’t pack themselves.”
Her sisters stood and went about preparing for an afternoon of visiting, but Clara remained seated at the table. What should she do?
* * *
Ethan endured Joe Shetler’s scrutiny without flinching. He knew his request was an unusual one. As a single man, having Clara, a young single woman, working in his home might be frowned upon by some.
Joe pushed the brim of his straw hat a little higher. “I’ve heard that you are a logger.”
Ethan nodded. “I am. I have worked for a few of your neighbors. I can give you their names and you can ask them about me.”
“I have a stand of old walnut trees that could use thinning, but it’s up above the lake. The ground is steep in places.”
“My teams can work just about anywhere that a horse can stand. I’d be happy to take a look at your trees and see if it’s feasible to log some of them out. Old-growth walnut brings a nice price at the sawmill. The cabinetmakers love it.”
“I might have you do that. Where are your people from?”
This was more along the line of questioning that Ethan expected. “My family hails from southern Indiana. I moved here two years ago. I bought a place out on Cherry Creek Road.”
“Do you still have family in Indiana?”
“Two maiden aunts, who think I should be married and bring it up every chance they get.” He didn’t mention his estranged mother, who still lived there. Some things were best left in the past. “I came here looking for a little peace and quiet. You know how women can be.”
Joe chuckled and jerked his head toward the house. “I had thirty years of peace and quiet, but that has gone by the wayside. I have four granddaughters and a new wife in my house.”
“My condolences.”
Joe gave a sharp bark of laughter and slapped Ethan’s shoulder. “That’s a good one. Most people offer their congratulations.”

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