To Protect Her Son
Stella MacLean
Keeping the past where it belongs! Moving to Eden Harbor is a dream for single mom Gayle Sawyer. A beautiful home. Friends. But this life and the carefully crafted lie she constructed years ago are threatened when her teenage son starts acting out. With few options, Gayle is forced to turn to counselor Nate Garrison for help. And Nate seems determined to dig into her past.Worse, Gayle feels an attraction to Nate that she can't deny. No matter how tempting Nate is, Gayle can't reveal the truth. Doing so would mean risking everything–her home, the promise of a romance with Nate…and her son.
Keeping the past where it belongs!
Moving to Eden Harbor is a dream for single mom Gayle Sawyer. A beautiful home. Friends. But this life and the carefully crafted lie she constructed years ago are threatened when her teenage son starts acting out. With few options, Gayle is forced to turn to counselor Nate Garrison for help. And Nate seems determined to dig into her past.
Worse, Gayle feels an attraction to Nate that she can’t deny. No matter how tempting Nate is, Gayle can’t reveal the truth. Doing so would mean risking everything—her home, the promise of a romance with Nate…and her son.
“Would you like to go out for coffee with me?”
Gayle wanted to say yes. To sit with this man, to have his attention focused on her would be wonderful…but only if she was prepared to face the consequences if she let something slip.
She stalled for time, trying to decide if she should take the risk. “When?”
“Whenever our schedules allow. What about Sunday?”
After today’s fishing trip, and Adam’s obvious improvement, Nate might not be around much longer. Yet she was just a little sad at the thought of not seeing him. The good news was that without Nate around, her secret would be safe.
“Okay, next Sunday it is,” she said, trying to sound casual while her pulse danced against her throat.
She watched him leave and felt the loneliest she’d felt since arriving in Eden Harbor. And she knew with certainty that this feeling came from the awareness that she could never have more than coffee with him.
What would it be like to have a romantic relationship with someone like Nate? Someone whose presence sent fissions of awareness and light-headedness spiraling through her?
She couldn’t let herself think about the impossible. To have a real relationship based on trust and caring, she’d have to reveal her past.
And to admit to her past was to admit to lying…
Dear Reader (#ulink_60bf949f-624a-53d0-8cc0-c0623ab89ff8),
Learning to trust someone can be a very difficult thing. To trust is to allow another person the opportunity to enrich our lives, but sometimes it can lead to pain and hurt. In order to trust someone, we must first trust ourselves and trust in our ability to know who really cares about us.
Welcome to the second book in the Life in Eden Harbor series. Eden Harbor is a small town on the coast of Maine where most people have known each other for years, and where keeping a secret is very difficult. When Gayle Sawyer moves to Eden Harbor, she is a woman haunted by her past, yet determined to protect her son from her mistakes. When her son gets into trouble, she is forced to share her past with Nate Garrison, a man with his own trust issues.
Like Gayle, I have had issues with learning to trust, with reaching out to others for help. Having nursed my husband while ALS claimed his body, I had no choice but to trust people and to share my agony. Had I not reached out to our friends and shared what was happening during those last months, Garry’s passing would have been much more difficult.
If you have had issues around trust and you’d like to share your experience with me, I can be reached at stella@stellamaclean.com. Or you can visit my website at stellamaclean.com (http://www.stellamaclean.com). For those of you who enjoy social media, I can be found at facebook.com/stella.maclean.3 (https://www.facebook.com/stella.maclean.3), or on Twitter, @Stella__MacLean (https://twitter.com/Stella__MacLean)
Sincerely,
Stella MacLean
To Protect Her Son
Stella MacLean
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
STELLA MacLEAN loves to write stories about romance and happy endings. A member of Romance Writers of America for twenty years, a past RWA board member and a Golden Heart® Award finalist, Stella is committed to the art and the business of writing stories about people overcoming their differences and finding happiness with each other. Every writer needs a muse, and Stella has found two. Jethro and Sully, two new kittens, maintain a raucous vigil while she escapes into the world of two people about to come face-to-face in their search for love.
This book is dedicated to my husband, Garry, the love of my life, my champion and my dearest friend, who succumbed to Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) on July 6, 2013.
You are forever in my heart.
Acknowledgments (#ulink_09c3e284-957f-5087-ac55-1ed5352011c0)
In appreciation to my editor and friend
Paula Eykelhof, who encouraged me and stood by me while my life descended into chaos brought on by my husband’s illness and its inevitable outcome. Without her support and caring I would not have been able to finish The Doctor Returns, and I would not have been able to write To Protect Her Son.
Contents
Cover (#u23e244de-8091-51e4-ba31-0926059e5907)
Back Cover Text (#ud5b9b494-85dd-5b52-a190-bd22b9c4f7d0)
Introduction (#u0d44a426-c144-50d4-81c7-470346d96c8e)
Dear Reader (#uf1d3045b-e0df-52eb-bd57-c2a68d0dac0f)
Title Page (#u66bea666-22a3-5da4-ac22-6933b587574c)
About the Author (#ue26878c6-7c2f-5621-9612-1d9422615f7e)
Dedication (#uc9635bfd-0db4-5aa9-a0a3-b26f556528da)
Acknowledgments (#ulink_047a1475-85bb-5ecd-80bd-182b640193c8)
CHAPTER ONE (#uebce2c8f-d1e8-57b0-8470-a310a8b2d445)
CHAPTER TWO (#ub5535efd-fe2f-5238-8978-158269676d1b)
CHAPTER THREE (#u6cb44584-9d4f-5dd9-b123-c542dfdedfda)
CHAPTER FOUR (#uf47ad602-cb30-51fa-866d-11d19c35f842)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FOURTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIFTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIXTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINETEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_67be2406-6af8-596f-9890-984403e58a87)
IF GAYLE SAWYER could have foreseen the day ahead she would never have gotten out of bed. She and Adam, her thirteen-year-old son, had argued last night and again this morning, leaving her drained and frightened.
Her eyes gritty from lack of sleep, she stared across the raised counter at her friend Sherri Lawson, nurse in charge of today’s clinic at Eagle Mountain Medical Center. Neill Brandon would be there any minute, and Gayle had pulled the clinic charts for his patients, who sat with their families in the waiting area just a few feet from the desk.
Everything was ready. Gayle glanced one more time at her watch as worry gnawed at her mind. She should have handled the argument with Adam differently last night. After all, she was the adult and should be able to reason with her son.
“Just one more.” Sherri passed Gayle another chart, a square-cut diamond gleaming on her finger.
Gayle couldn’t take her eyes off the ring. “Some people are born lucky,” she teased her best friend.
Sherri touched her diamond. “Can you believe it? After everything that has happened, Neill and I have our dream back. We’ve waited a long time for our happiness.” A smile lit her face; her eyes shone as she leaned on the counter.
Gayle had stopped dreaming about being happy fourteen years ago in Anaheim, California, when the judge had sentenced her husband, Harry Young, for armed robbery and shooting a police officer.
Pregnant and alone, she’d vowed never to let her dreams mask reality. She’d worked so hard to make her son’s childhood a happy one, and to find a respectable life for herself. Nothing could be allowed to take all that she’d earned by dint of hard work and determination away from her.
“Dreams can be wonderful,” she offered, unwilling to share the details of her past with anyone here in Eden Harbor. Her aunt Susan had died a year ago and left her a quaint Victorian house on a tree-lined street in this quiet, stately town. Gayle had moved, partly for the chance at a new life, and partly to get her son away from a group of teenagers that were having far too much influence in his life. She was happy to leave Anaheim. She never intended to return to the place that had caused her so much sorrow.
“I’ve never been this happy,” Sherri said, a look of wonderment on her face.
Gayle had never seen anyone as much in love as her best friend. “Your wedding plans are coming together so well. I still can’t believe we found those bridesmaid dresses in the first wedding boutique we went into in Boston.”
The doors connecting the clinics to the rest of the hospital banged open. Her son, Adam, his dark hair smudging his forehead, his eyes angry, approached the desk where Gayle sat. The scent of shampoo and of the boy he still was swirled around her as he leaned over the desk. “Mom. You left this morning without giving me any money. I need money.”
Embarrassed that Adam’s loud voice had attracted the glances of the people in the waiting room, she came around the desk, her eyes pleading with him to quiet down.
“What do you need it for?” she asked, even though she knew. Adam had started playing video games, and he was always after her to pay for yet another game. They’d argued about it this morning, and now he had come into her workplace.
“I promised to buy a game from a friend. He’s waiting for me to pay up. You know all this, Mom.”
She’d encouraged him to play video games, but not because she approved of them. In her mind they were the lesser of two evils—video games or surfing the internet. She had a very powerful reason for not wanting him online—his father. “We talked about this last night. I don’t have the money. And besides, you just got a new one...”
“Where’s your purse?” Adam glanced behind the desk. “There, right there.” He pointed to Gayle’s purse, which was still sitting under her desk. She hadn’t put it in her locker yet because she needed to pay her share for a staff shower gift for Sherri. One of the patients had knit a beautiful pale green throw for Sherri and Neill. “I don’t have any money...”
“Yes, you do. I saw it last night.”
“Adam! What were you doing going through my purse? You know better than that.”
“I didn’t have a choice, did I?” Adam snorted. “You can go to the bank. I need cash now.” Adam came around the desk, reached down, grabbed her purse, yanked it open and pulled out her wallet.
“Adam! Don’t!”
“I need it, Mom.” He opened the section where the bills were. “You promised.”
“No, I didn’t. Put that money back,” she said, mortified that everyone in the room could hear her son’s demands.
Adam counted the bills. “There’s more than enough here.”
Suddenly Sherri was standing next to Gayle. “Adam, why are you embarrassing your mother this way? She said she doesn’t have the money right now.”
Gayle reached for her wallet, pulled it gently from Adam’s fingers and placed it back in her purse, speaking softly as she did so. “Please go, Adam. I promise we’ll talk about this again tonight before dinner.”
“Not good enough,” Adam muttered, his eyes glistening, his expression one of anger and disappointment. “I want that game. I promised to buy it from my friend.”
“You should have talked to me first.”
“I did—last night.”
“And what did I say?”
“The same old thing—I should mow lawns and pay for my own games.”
She wanted the world for her son, but she also wanted him to know how important it was to make his own way in life. “And my answer hasn’t changed.”
Adam shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes focused on some spot behind her. “Why do you have to be so mean?”
Out of the corner of her eye, Gayle saw Dr. Brandon come through the doors. “Adam, the clinic is about to start. You have to go.”
“You don’t even care about me,” Adam said, his voice rising as he glanced around the room.
“I love you,” she whispered emphatically.
Gayle knew only too well how easily Adam could escalate an argument from a raised voice to yelling—so like his father. She took his arm, gently leading him toward the door. Once out in the hall, she turned to him. “Adam, those people in there are important to me, to us. This is my job and I can’t afford to lose it.”
She wanted to hold her son in her arms the way she used to do when he was upset. She settled for touching his hand. “I know you’re going through a difficult time right now, and I want to help you. But you won’t be able to come back here if you act like this.”
Adam could not continue this way, and she could not move again. Recognizing that what she was about to say would anger her son, she chose her words carefully. “If you keep this up, I’m going to have to get professional help for you.”
“Mom, I... Why don’t you understand? All I need is a few dollars.” He was quieter now, his head down, the fingers of his right hand viciously attacking a hangnail.
Gayle knew this wasn’t just about money. Her son felt angry and frustrated most of the time. Yet when he wasn’t angry, he was the Adam she’d loved and cared for these past thirteen years—a kind, bright, wonderful young man. She softened her tone, seeking to let her son know that she loved him more than anything in this world. “Go back to the house, and I’ll be there right after my shift. We’ll work this out, I promise.”
He jutted his lower jaw, the resentment in his eyes fading to acquiescence. He gave a long, exaggerated sigh as he turned and went down the hall.
Sherri came up behind her, standing beside her as she anxiously watched her son leave. “Gayle, I’m so sorry. You’ve told me a little bit about the change in Adam’s behavior, but this is the first time I’ve seen it for myself.”
“Not as sorry as I am.” She sighed, the old feelings of inadequacy engulfing her.
“I’m not trying to interfere here, but I’ve got a suggestion that might help.”
“I’m running out of ideas, so all suggestions gratefully accepted.”
Except for talking to Sherri, she’d kept her concerns about Adam to herself, hoping that it was just part of being a teenager. But she couldn’t have him showing up at her workplace behaving the way he had today. She wanted to confide the whole story to someone, and Sherri was a good listener.
When she’d come to Eden Harbor and the house her aunt Susan had left her, she worried about how Adam would react. It quickly became apparent her concerns were unfounded. He’d been great. He’d gotten a part-time job cutting grass in the neighborhood for his spending money. He had become more helpful around the house, much to Gayle’s relief. But in the past couple of weeks, Adam had had to be cajoled into mowing lawns. When he was around the house, he seemed distant, quicker to anger, resentful at times and harder to talk to. In fact, the old rapport they’d shared had almost disappeared. Until this moment, Gayle had let it pass.
“Would it help if he had someone to talk to?” Sherri asked. “Someone who related well to teenage boys?”
Gayle’s biggest fear was that her son would get involved with the wrong crowd and turn out like his father. Harry probably had been a normal teenager who’d got in with a bad crowd, and now spent every day inside prison walls. She couldn’t let that happen to Adam. “It might make a difference. I honestly don’t know.”
“There is a mentoring program in Eden Harbor for troubled teens. Would you consider something like that?”
That could be good, but not if it meant there would be questions about Adam’s father. No one here knew anything about Harry, and she didn’t want that to change. The world they lived in now—a pleasant world with so much potential—was far removed from their life in Anaheim. If Sherri could help her find someone to offer a positive male influence in Adam’s life...
“I’d have to think about it, maybe learn a little more before I decide.”
“We need someone we can trust to be firm with Adam, right?”
Gayle loved the fact that her best friend had used we. She’d never had a confidante like Sherri Lawson, soon to be Sherri Brandon in a wedding everyone was looking forward to. The bright spot in Gayle’s life these days was that she would be part of the bridal party.
Gayle gave a wry smile as the two of them headed back to the clinic desk.
“What he needs is a father figure in his life, the one thing I can’t provide unless the mailman suddenly turns into my Prince Charming. He’s the only male I see on a regular basis.”
Sherri stopped, a look of satisfaction on her face. “I’ve got the perfect solution to your problem. My cousin, Nate Garrison, would be a great mentor for Adam. I don’t believe you’ve met him. He was at Peggy Anderson’s birthday party down at Rigby’s Bar on the waterfront a few weeks ago. I remember you were intent on getting to know the new guy from respiratory therapy.”
“Only to discover that he already had a girlfriend. I should have stayed with you at the bar and gotten a chance to meet your cousin. But as I remember it, you weren’t there very long.”
“Yeah, Neill and I had an argument and I left.” Sherri touched her engagement ring again. “So glad that’s all over...” Another smile slid across her face. Her friend was always smiling these days, and Gayle couldn’t help but wish she could be as happy.
“You haven’t met Nate because he’s been really busy since he started working as a community liaison officer, part of community policing. His specialty is working with troubled teenagers, and he’d be the perfect person to help Adam.”
Could it be that something positive was about to come out of one of the most embarrassing moments of her life? “I didn’t want to bother you with my problems where Adam is concerned. But now...” She shrugged.
“Why don’t you let me see what I can do?” Sherri offered, warmth and caring evident in her voice. “I know this sounds like bragging, but Nate is a wonderful man, a little overprotective at times, but no wonder. He was on duty in Boston and got shot in the leg while investigating a robbery.”
The officer was shot in the thigh and bone fragments nicked the femoral artery. The emergency response team who rushed to the scene was responsible for saving Officer Perry’s life.
Gayle would never forget those words screaming across the front page of the Orange County Register, or the naked fear she’d survived for weeks as she’d waited, expecting to be arrested any moment. Her anxiety as she watched the apartment door that day for Harry to return, praying that it hadn’t been him. That he couldn’t have shot an officer of the law. But he had, even bragged about it, and threatened to beat her and kick her out if she told anyone.
Harry needn’t have worried. What he’d done that day, and what she’d done in the months following, would forever be her secret. “Are you sure about this?” she asked Sherri.
“Why not? You said yourself that you’re worried about Adam. Let me help you. Nate’s a professional and knows what he’s doing. He’s helped lots of kids over the past six years since he returned from Boston.”
Boston or Anaheim. It didn’t matter. Gayle would never be able to erase the memories of those months after the shooting, the fear and self-loathing. She hadn’t been honest when the police officers had come in search of information. She’d been too afraid of what Harry would do if he found out she’d been talking to the police.
All she’d ever wanted from the day she’d escaped her parents’ world of drugs and arguments was a place where she could feel safe. A defiant teenager, she’d run off with Harry Young, a dangerous con man who’d promised to look after her. Now, fourteen years later, she still wanted to be safe. Only now she also wanted to be free from the fear that someday she would have to face her ex-husband.
Gayle closed her eyes, a second’s respite from the cold reality of her past. “It might work.”
“Well, while you’re thinking about it, why don’t you come over to the house for a barbecue? The weather’s lovely. Neill has done a fantastic job putting a new deck on the back of the house, and we can talk wedding talk.” She smiled in encouragement. “Remember how much help you were to me when I was going through that awful time with Neill? Let me return the favor. You need to forget your worries for a while. And we need to pick out the flowers for the ceremony. I’ll talk to Nate when I get the chance, and we’ll find a way to make it happen. You can trust me.”
Gayle wasn’t good at trusting anyone. Not even her best friend. Yet an evening out would help her gain perspective, and allow her to share in Sherri’s happiness. “That sounds like a wonderful idea.”
“Then leave it with me. I’ll talk to Neill and get back to you.”
* * *
LATER THAT WEEK, as the sun’s light began to create long silhouettes along the tree line, broken only by the roof of the old barn at the back of Neill’s house, Gayle found herself sitting with Sherri and her fiancé on the new deck.
She had to agree with Sherri that the deck Neill had built on the back of the old house made a wonderful space for relaxing after a long day at work.
“Neill and I love this property, and plan to live here for a very long time,” Sherri said. A salt-tinged breeze moved through the pines behind the barn, creating a sighing sound that enhanced the gentle quiet of the evening.
Gayle looked at her two friends, and couldn’t stop the envy rising through her. All her life she’d wanted to be married to a man who truly loved her, and to live in a lovely old home looking out on the water. But what Gayle wanted had never been anyone’s priority, not even her own. It was a stroke of luck and fate that had given her the charming Victorian house she now owned in downtown Eden Harbor. Simply a case of her being the last remaining relative of someone she’d never even met.
All of that aside, she was delighted to be having dinner at Dr. Brandon’s home, and even more thrilled that Sherri had chosen her over all her other friends to be her maid of honor. Gayle felt blessed to see what her life had become. The only down note was Adam’s recent change in behavior.
“Would anyone like more wine?” Neill asked, holding up the bottle of chardonnay.
Gayle’s head was already feeling light. “No, thank you. Not me,” she said, placing her hand gently over the top of her glass. She wasn’t much of a drinker and had never taken drugs after growing up in the chaos of her mother and stepfather’s house.
Sherri shook her head. “One glass does it for me. I need to check my blood sugar now that I’ve eaten to be sure it’s okay.”
Gayle remembered the day Sherri had ended up in Emergency after going into diabetic shock, and how afraid everyone had been. In the end it had proved to be what Sherri and Neill needed to get their priorities straight and realize how much they loved each other. It was the first time Gayle had ever seen the powerful impact love could have someone’s life. She was sure that other people understood that power, but she didn’t.
“Why don’t I carry some things into the house for you?” Gayle asked.
Neill pushed back his chair. “That sounds great. While you ladies do your thing in the kitchen, I’ll put the barbecue away. Later, we can all sit here and enjoy the evening light...and talk.”
Gayle followed Sherri into the kitchen, placing the dishes on the counter while Sherri loaded the dishwasher. When Sherri reached for her meter to check her blood sugar, Gayle glanced around the huge kitchen. She had only been inside the house once before when she had come to pick Sherri up to go to a movie. She was completely in awe of the kitchen’s beautiful wood cabinets, and panoramic view of the back gardens.
“Did you get a new table and chairs?” she asked, realizing she hadn’t seen the wooden table surrounded by four wooden chairs with navy-blue-and-white cushions before.
“It’s new. The set Neill brought from Boston when he moved back home was all glass and wrought iron, not really a good match for the interior of this house. But he’d wanted his daughter, Morgan, to have as many things from her old life as possible, even though he’d disliked the modern set virtually from the day his ex bought it.”
“Did you and Neill choose this together?”
“We did. Our first purchase for our home.” Sherri smiled, her eyes alight with enthusiasm. “I have never been so excited in my life. After everything we’ve been through, all those years of misunderstanding and being apart from each other, marrying the wrong people, will finally be behind us in less than two months.”
Gayle hugged her friend. “You will be so gorgeous in that antique lace wedding dress. Being with you when you picked it out was a really special moment for me.” She wanted to tell her friend that she’d never been a part of anybody’s wedding before, but divulging any details of her past would lead to questions she couldn’t risk answering.
“And you and Morgan in your green dresses... Morgan is so pleased to be part of the wedding party. She’s talked about it for hours on end. Her favorite thing is that she got to pick out the color. And I’m so glad Neill’s best friend from medical school, Mark Leighton, can be a groomsman along with Nate.”
“Are we going to go over the flower choices tonight? And what about the reception? Have you chosen flowers for the tables yet?” Gayle pointed to the florist’s three-ring binder on the counter next to the phone.
Sherri sighed, her gaze turning anxious. “Let’s sit down. I need to talk to you about something first.”
Gayle tried to block her anxiety. Had Sherri been pressured into making someone else her maid of honor, someone who had a longer history of friendship with her than Gayle? “Sure. Go ahead,” she said, forcing her tone to be upbeat.
“Please don’t feel I’m prying into your life, but I need to ask you if anything has changed where Adam is concerned since he came into the clinic the other morning.”
Gayle forced her shoulders into a shrug and smiled gamely. “He’s been home the past two nights well before his curfew. We came to an agreement over the game he wants to buy. I loaned him the money, and he’ll pay me back when he mows lawns this weekend.”
“How’s he doing in school?”
Gayle had spent hours convincing Adam to do his homework this week. She’d made two trips back to the school to get materials he needed to complete his assignments, two of which she’d discovered were overdue. “Adam isn’t much of a student at the best of times.”
“What else is going on with him? Does he tell you where he’s been when he’s late?”
Gayle didn’t want to talk about Adam and spoil her only social outing in weeks. “Adam seems to be doing a little better.”
Sherri sighed. “I’m glad to hear that. What about the next time he stays out too late, or makes a scene at your work?”
Obviously her friend wasn’t going to let this go. “I know you think he needs help, but I need a little time to convince Adam to go along with seeing a counselor,” she said. That wasn’t the complete truth. She hadn’t broached the subject with her son yet. How she wished she could tell Sherri about her sordid past, about Harry, about her lies. But she was afraid of what her friend would think.
If she told anyone about her past, her present life would be over. Her son didn’t know the truth about his father, and couldn’t be told under any circumstances. And now that Gayle had all the things she needed so desperately in her life, she had to keep her past to herself.
Moving to Eden Harbor on the coast of Maine, a continent away, had provided her with enough distance to restart her life. After her divorce, she’d changed back to her maiden name, and she’d left her past behind. She would not let anything stop her now.
One thing she was certain of—telling Sherri about her past would end their friendship. Sherri had shared so much with Gayle. She’d told her the full story of her past with Neill, and all the heartache she’d survived because of him, her miscarriage, her ill-fated marriage to another man, her return to Eden Harbor, all of it. Close friends shared their lives with one another. Should Sherri learn that Gayle’s fictional life back in California wasn’t true, she would be hurt, and the trust between them destroyed.
“Why don’t you give Nate a chance to help Adam? He is so good with teenagers. He’d be perfect.”
“How can you be so sure? Besides, he must have a full case load already.”
Sherri gave her a smug grin. “Doesn’t matter. Nate won’t say no to me. So what do you say?”
“Tell me more about him,” Gayle asked, realizing too late that she didn’t want to hear about the shooting of another police officer. She didn’t want to learn firsthand how a family as nice as Sherri’s had lived through Nate’s injuries. It would only serve to remind her of another family that had been devastated by the shots fired from Harry’s weapon.
Sherri grinned with pride. “Nate is the white knight in the family, always riding to the rescue whenever any of his cousins are in trouble. He’s been a rock that we’ve all leaned on at one time or another. Right now he’s helping out his sister, Anna Barker. She’s a single mom with two boys.”
Gayle knew Anna from the single-parents group she’d joined when she first moved to Eden Harbor. She really liked her, looked forward to the meetings. She considered Anna her closest friend after Sherri. “Anna’s a member of my single-parents group. We always try to sit together at the meetings. I had no idea...”
“Yeah, she’s Nate’s current project, now that he doesn’t have to look out for me. Anna told me the other day he’s beginning to hover. She was only teasing, of course. We’re all so lucky to have him.” Sherri chuckled. “I don’t know what Anna would do without him. I’m surprised she never mentioned him to you.”
“We mostly talk about our kids at the meeting. The couple of times we’ve gone out to coffee it’s been to discuss work and that sort of thing.”
“Well, ask her the next time you see her, and she’ll tell you what it’s like when Nate takes an interest in your welfare.” Sherri led the way to the kitchen table, cups of coffee in hand, and they slid into chairs opposite each other. “So what about it?”
“About what?” Gayle asked, stalling for time. She didn’t want to turn down her friend’s offer of support. She didn’t want anything to jeopardize her relationship with Sherri. She was looking forward to the wedding, to being part of her friend’s happiness. She’d never been to a wedding in her entire life, let alone a member of the wedding party. She loved the green dress with the tight bodice and scooped neckline, the full-length skirt that hugged her body past her knees before flaring out at the bottom. She felt so sexy in it.
Uncertainty filled her heart and mind. How was she going to turn down Sherri’s offer to have her cousin help Adam without Sherri feeling hurt? On one hand, she was well aware that Adam could benefit from the help of a professional. On the other, she didn’t want that help coming from someone so closely linked to Sherri and Anna. “I’m... Are you sure Nate would be willing to help? Have you asked him already?”
“No, of course not. I wanted to talk to you first.” Sherri glanced at her anxiously. “Gayle, are you all right?”
“I’m...fine.” She rubbed her sweaty palms together, and glanced at her watch. “But I really should get home. I promised Adam we’d watch a movie together tonight, part of my plan to get to the bottom of what’s going on with him.”
“That sounds good. We can talk about the wedding flowers another time.”
“Oh! Sorry! I forgot we were doing that this evening. I’ll call Adam and let him know I won’t be home for a while.”
Sherri’s smile was reassuring. “No. Don’t do that. The flowers will be really easy to decide. I’ve pretty well made up my mind about what kind I want. All I need you to do is help me pick out the actual arrangements from the florist’s book.”
Gayle said her goodbyes and headed to her car. She had to stop worrying about something that would never happen. She’d spent too much time worrying about the past. Getting help for Adam was all that mattered.
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_025b7753-4532-503d-ba20-0d80f93584b0)
A WEEK LATER, Gayle was putting the last load of clothes in the washer and looking forward to watching The Comedy Network on television. She’d been ironing all evening, a tedious chore but one she insisted upon doing every week. Ironing her sheets, pressing the edges of her towels, ironing her jeans, gave her a sense of order. She’d always done the ironing, even as a child living in the midst of her parents’ disorganized existence. Tonight it was helping her remain calm.
Adam had gone out with a friend four hours earlier with the firm promise that he would keep his curfew of ten o’clock. It was nearly eleven, and he still hadn’t returned. She only knew the name of one of the other boys—Derrick Little. She’d called his mother to be told that Derrick had been home for over an hour, and she didn’t know where Adam could be.
She had just unplugged the iron, leaving it on the board to cool, when the doorbell rang. Relief mingled with anxiety, making her bump her wrist against the hot surface of the iron. “Ouch!” she muttered as she headed to the front door, holding her stinging wrist across her chest.
When she peeked through the sidelights of the wide wooden door she saw the clear outline of a police officer standing next to her son. Her heart sagged. Her mind stilled at the fear of what this could mean. Sucking in her breath, she lowered her injured wrist and opened the door.
“Gayle Sawyer?”
She nodded, her gaze fixed on Adam. His face was bruised, his eyes angry. There was a small cut on his forehead. “What happened?” She reached for her son, who immediately stepped back, out of her grasp.
She clutched the door frame for support. “Adam, are you all right?”
“I’m Officer Edwards. May I come in? Your son’s been in a fight with a group of teens. We need to talk to you.”
“A fight. My son doesn’t do that. We’ve talked about it many times. About how fighting is not the way to solve disagreements and how important it is to respect others...”
She forced herself to stop talking. If she didn’t she’d cry. She would not cry in front of a police officer. She would remain calm.
“Please come in. Can I get you a cup of coffee?” she asked, not knowing what to do once the tall young officer was standing in her living room. She couldn’t look at Adam, and let him see the worry in her eyes. As much as he was being difficult at the moment, he was a good kid. She would not prejudge him, certainly not with a police officer as a witness.
“Thank you, but no. May we sit here?” the officer asked, nodding toward the sofa and chair in front of the angel stone fireplace.
“Certainly.” Still unable to look at Adam, she led the way into the room and sat on the armchair next to the fireplace, leaving Adam and the officer to sit together on the sofa.
Adam slouched in one corner, his eyes fixed on the fireplace mantel. Was he not going to look at her, or volunteer even one word of explanation? “What’s this all about?” she asked the officer, but her gaze remained fixed on her son.
“There was a fight among a group of boys down along the waterfront this evening. Several of those involved were taken to the police station. I thought it more appropriate to bring your son home while we talked a bit.”
“What did Adam do?” Gayle’s heart crushed against her ribs as memories of another evening flashed across her mind. The police had shown up at the apartment where she and Harry lived, looking to talk to Harry. When they’d realized she was alone, they’d left. Before they did they told her that Harry was wanted in the shooting of a police officer. If she was withholding any information she could face serious charges. While she’d been waiting to tell Harry that he would be a father in a few months, over a nice dinner she’d made for the two of them, he’d been out shooting a cop.
“Is Adam charged with anything?”
“No. We believe Adam was caught up in something not of his own making. To my knowledge Adam hasn’t been involved in an incident like this before.” The police officer leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs, his eyes searching her face. “The point is, we don’t want this to happen again. We usually recommend a mentoring program in these situations. If you agree, we have several skilled officers who work with teens. We’d be willing to set up a meeting between Adam and one of them. The other option is to seek private counseling.”
Gayle thought about Nate Garrison. But what was the likelihood of Nate being available, even with Sherri’s intervention? Nate might be too busy to help out.
Yet she couldn’t risk having Nate take Adam’s case. She had to choose the private option. “I don’t have the money...” She placed her trembling hands out of sight of the officer, whose watchful eyes held a hint of kindness.
“What if I can get you into the community center program? They’re pretty busy, but I’ll see if I can get him bumped up the queue.”
“You’d do that for Adam?”
“Yes.” He glanced over at Adam, who had slumped even farther into the sofa. “I believe your son didn’t mean to be part of that fight. He was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.” He turned back to her. “Does Adam have a curfew?”
“He does, but he didn’t keep it tonight.”
“Well, let’s see if we can get him back on track.” He reached into his uniform pocket and retrieved a card. “Here’s the contact information for the community center program.”
She grasped it eagerly, her relief palpable. Maybe she’d found an ally in her efforts to get Adam to straighten out. “Thank you for bringing my son home, and for everything you’ve done for him.”
The officer turned his gaze to Adam again. “I promise that you will have all the help you need to stay out of trouble. In return you have to promise me that you will keep the appointments set up for you. Deal?”
Adam sat up straight, resting his hands in his lap. “Sure. Why not?” There was no cockiness in his voice, but rather a look bordering on hope.
Had Adam wanted this to happen? Was he so desperate for someone’s help and understanding that he’d done this intentionally?
“Okay. That’s it.” Officer Edwards rose. “I’ll be in touch. In the meantime, call that number if you need to contact me,” he said, pointing to the card he’d just given her.
Gayle thanked him, walked with him to the door, locking it behind him before turning back to her son. They needed to talk. She couldn’t believe that Adam would get into trouble this way. She returned to the living room but he wasn’t there. She searched the kitchen and the rest of the main floor, bumping her burned wrist against the door frame of the tiny den. It hurt so bad she nearly cried out. She wanted to sit down and sob until there were no tears left. Instead, she gritted her teeth and climbed the stairs to his bedroom.
She knocked. No answer, only a rustling sound. “Adam, can we talk?”
“Not tonight, Mom. I’m tired.” His voice was subdued.
“Do you need a bandage for that cut on your forehead?” she asked, remembering all the times in the past when she’d bandaged an arm or knee after a spill from a bike. Memories that reminded her how much her relationship with her son had changed during the past couple of years, despite her efforts to build a new life. Was he unhappy here in Eden Harbor? Had the move from Anaheim been a mistake? She’d brought him here because of the kids he was hanging out with, but maybe it wasn’t those kids but Adam himself who was the problem.
She hated herself for thinking that way.
“No, Mom. I’m good,” Adam said.
She could tell by his voice that he was just inside the door. She reached up, placing her hand on the door at the spot where she guessed his head would be resting. She yearned for those days not so long ago when Adam had shared his concerns. For so many years, whenever he had a problem he sought the refuge of his room, where he would be waiting when she came up the stairs. And so it was tonight: only tonight was different. Tonight Adam didn’t ease the door open and sit on the end of his bed, waiting to share his problem with her.
She was tempted to open the door, but didn’t, fearful that he might be angered by her action. She could handle anything but his sudden outbursts of anger. The first had happened only a few weeks ago. It had not only surprised her, but left her deeply saddened and afraid. Her fear over his behavior had made her avoid confronting him about it, creating a distance between them she hadn’t been able to bridge.
It was so difficult to witness what was happening with Adam. When he was angry, he seemed so much his father’s son. After the initial excitement of her marriage to Harry, she’d experienced firsthand what life was like with a man whose angry outbursts had become a part of their daily lives. Harry used anger to get what he wanted from her or from anyone who got in his way.
* * *
ADAM STOOD JUST inside the door, his stomach aching, tears hovering beneath his lids. He wanted to open the door so bad. He didn’t want to disappoint his mom. He was so confused by what happened earlier in the evening.
He hadn’t meant to cause his mom so much grief. Really he hadn’t. He’d been on his way home with Derrick when one of his classmates had caught up with him. Eddie Walsh had wanted him to join his other buddies at the old pool hall near the waterfront.
They’d gone over there and shot a couple of rounds of pool, during which Adam had lost badly. Thankfully he hadn’t bet any money on the games, despite pressure from Eddie. He didn’t have any cash on him, and until he paid his mom back he wouldn’t have any. He figured Eddie and his friends would drop him, but they hadn’t. They’d let him play and they’d cheered him on. He’d felt accepted by them.
It wasn’t until they’d decided to go back to the waterfront, and he’d seen the town clock, that he’d realized he had broken his curfew. He’d been trying to decide what to do when the fight had broken out. They’d just been walking along, fooling around, when suddenly someone had walked up behind Eddie and punched him.
When someone took a swing at him, Adam had no choice but to defend himself.
He hadn’t meant to get in a fight. He hadn’t meant to be late. He hadn’t meant to do any of it. But now it was too late to say that. He was old enough to stand up for himself. Eddie had said as much. And there was no explanation for his behavior that his mom would understand.
Moving here had been his mom’s decision. He’d gone along with it because for the first time that he could remember his mom was happy. He’d never seen her smile as much as she had at the news she’d inherited this house. And he wanted his mom to be happy. He didn’t understand why she was so sad, but he was pretty sure it had to do with his dad dying in a trawler accident off the coast of Alaska.
She had settled right in here, and had made friends. The neighbors loved his mom, and were always asking about her when he mowed their lawns. He couldn’t seem to find a friend among the kids at school. The only person who had been kind to him was Morgan Brandon, mostly because she was a new kid, as well.
He liked her. But she was a girl. It wasn’t the same.
Wishing things were different, but knowing he couldn’t change what he’d done, he waited to see if his mom would insist on coming into his room. For a few minutes he considered opening the door...talking like they used to do. Yet in the end he didn’t feel like talking. The fight had frightened him. He’d never hit anyone in his life and regretted what he’d done.
The kid he’d hit was in his class, and now the word would be out that he was trouble. Way to go, he thought to himself as he listened for his mom on the other side of the door. As the minutes ticked away, he felt sadder and sadder.
* * *
STILL NO SOUND from inside Adam’s room. Gayle had never felt so lonely, so lost, in all her life. Tonight had scared her. And yet she couldn’t bear to lose faith in her son, to have him become more distant and difficult. She didn’t have a clue how to stop what was happening, and that frightened her so much she could hardly breathe. Adam was her life. She loved him with her whole heart, and wished she had the nerve to open his door.
She waited, trying to decide what to do. In the end she felt she had no choice but to wait for Adam to come to her and explain his behavior. When he did she would listen and try to understand what was going on with him. “See you in the morning, then,” she said, quietly lifting her hand from the door before going down the hall to her own room.
She got ready for bed while listening for the sound of his door opening, disappointed that there would be no chance for them to talk this evening. Yet the normal peacefulness of her bedroom didn’t stop her from turning over the events of the past weeks in her mind, wrestling with her fear that she’d made some irrevocable mistake. She fell into a restless sleep, awaking the next morning feeling exhausted. In the early-morning light, her thoughts were much clearer. Regardless of how she felt about seeking help for Adam, she had to take steps to stop him from getting into further trouble.
Three days later Gayle approached the office of community services with trepidation. Adam had refused to go with her, and had willingly gone to school instead. The receptionist ticked her name off an appointment list before leading her into the office of Ted Marston, the head of community services. Despite her unease, she noted that the man was young, his office neat and orderly. The brightly colored pots filled with strawberry geraniums cascading over the windowsills of the large bay window behind him created the only touch of disorder in the entire space.
“Please have a seat,” he said, his voice instilling confidence. “I’ve got the report from Officer Edwards about your son’s behavior a couple of nights ago.”
“Yes. I wanted Adam to come with me, but he refused,” she said, concerned that Adam’s no-show could jeopardize the whole plan.
“It’s okay. I would have liked to meet your son, but this is strictly an organizational meeting. Adam’s absence tells me he’s not that keen on doing this. How do you feel about it?”
“I’m worried that if Adam doesn’t get help now he’ll get into worse problems. We moved here...” No! She couldn’t mention Anaheim without explaining that this wasn’t the first time she’d been worried about Adam’s choice of friends. She couldn’t betray her son to this stranger. Better to save any discussion of the past for his mentor once he was assigned one.
“How long ago was that?”
“About a year.”
“May I ask why?”
“I inherited the Cooper house. Susan Cooper was my mother’s sister.”
“I’ve often admired that house, especially the gingerbread woodwork, and it’s got a great veranda. Are you the one who replanted the front flower beds?”
She felt her face relax into a smile for the first time since she’d entered the room. “I did. I like to work with my hands, and gardening is such a pleasant pastime.”
“My wife would agree with you,” he said, glancing over his shoulder at the mass of red blossoms and green foliage dangling from the windowsill. Returning to the paperwork in front of him, he said, “When I got your son’s referral and was told it was urgent, I had no choice but to look for a mentor outside those here in this office. With more people unemployed due to the downturn in the fishing industry, our counselors and mentors are busier than they’ve ever been. But your son is about to have one of the best in Eden Harbor take his case—Nate Garrison.”
Sherri must have convinced her cousin to step in. Despite her worries Gayle was thankful for the help. If it was the best option for Adam, and since Nate had such a good recommendation, maybe she should simply accept the inevitable. “Nate Garrison is my best friend’s cousin, but I don’t know very much about him.”
“You’re very lucky to have him take your son on as a client.”
* * *
NATE GARRISON SHIFTED his weight to ease the ache in his thigh as he sat in a very uncomfortable chair outside Ted Marston’s office. He’d arrived a little early, and had welcomed a few moments to relax. The client he’d just seen was a sixteen-year-old boy whose mother would not take any responsibility for what was going on in her son’s life. She blamed the father, her ex-husband, for her son’s problems, and refused to consider that she might have to change her approach in how she raised her son.
It had been a difficult case for him, but it became intolerable when the woman made it clear she wanted to go out with him. She’d mistaken the interviews about her son over coffee as personal attention from him. He’d let her down as gently as possible. Then he’d spent the past hour getting his notes written up to pass the file to one of the other mentors.
He was here as a favor to his cousin after a teenage boy had been picked up by the police for fighting. The boy’s mother, Sherri’s friend, was a widow raising her son alone. In Nate’s experience single parents, especially widows, had difficulty setting boundaries for their teenagers. This was almost certainly because the mother, who had already suffered a serious loss, didn’t want to lose her daughter or son, as well.
But according to his cousin, Gayle Sawyer’s husband had died years ago. He sighed at the thought of facing another difficult situation after the morning he’d had. Not because he didn’t want to help, but he wasn’t feeling very sympathetic at the moment. This case was too close to the one he’d just signed off on.
Still and all, he couldn’t resist Sherri’s plea on behalf of her friend.
And this was the life he’d chosen, one that had its successes along with difficult moments.
After he’d been shot in Boston, he’d been angry at the world and had gone looking for someone to blame. That was until he’d met the teenager who had shot him. A boy of fifteen who had grown up in one foster home after another, the child of parents who had abdicated their responsibilities long before the shooting.
Eventually he’d come to realize that he would not be going back out on the streets as a cop. He would need to rethink his life and his career. He had always wanted to help teenagers and young adults before entering the police force, and now he had an opportunity to do that. He wasn’t being noble or particularly altruistic, not at all. There was only one thing driving him. If he could keep one kid from picking up a firearm and killing someone, he would feel he had used his time and his abilities for the greater good.
In his experience the parent was often more problematic than the teenager. He sincerely hoped this wasn’t the case here. And after this morning, he didn’t need another woman with her own issues messing up his work life. But Sherri had championed Gayle Sawyer’s cause, saying that she wasn’t a needy woman—in fact, just the opposite.
“The things I do for my cousin,” he muttered to no one in particular as he approached the door to Ted’s office.
* * *
GAYLE TURNED AS a light tap sounded on the office door. Ted Marston got up. “Hello, Nate. So glad you could come on such short notice. And by the way, thank you for helping out here,” he added as they shook hands. Turning to Gayle, he said, “I’d like you to meet Gayle Sawyer. Her son, Adam, will be your client.”
Nate Garrison walked farther into the room. The charcoal-gray shirt under his worn black leather jacket matched the gray of his eyes. Despite the cane he used, his whole demeanor spoke of a natural authority. Black hair streaked with gray sobered his appearance, and there were lines around his eyes and mouth. She could only imagine what he’d been through—physical pain, rehab and the loss of his rating for active duty.
He walked toward her, his eyes assessing. She shook hands with him, noting his gentle touch, the look of concern evident in his clear gaze. Guilt engulfed her. What sort of injuries had the police officer Harry had shot in Anaheim sustained? He’d been hit in the leg and the hip, but she had never gone to see him to apologize for what her husband had done. She realized in an instant of mindfulness that she’d been carrying this guilt with her all these years.
“It’s good to finally meet you. My cousin Sherri has been on my case for days. When Ted approached me to take your son as a client, she wouldn’t let me say no. You know what Sherri is like when she’s on a mission.” A smile crinkled the corners of his eyes, and it was if the whole room shifted ever so gently. “And you’re going to be her maid of honor.”
She swallowed over the lump of surprise lodged in her throat. How much had Sherri said about her? What conclusions had he come to? And how much did he know about Adam’s issues? “Yes, I am.”
“Then we’ll be seeing more of each other.”
“I’m really looking forward to the wedding. It should be a lot of fun,” she said. As she gazed up into his steel-gray eyes, her body tingled, a sensation so unusual for her she gave a little gasp.
“You realize we’ll have to dance at the reception,” he said, making her pulse jump.
Gayle hadn’t danced with a man in so long she couldn’t remember—high school, maybe.
Suddenly aware that he was still holding her hand, she pulled away. “I...I’m not much of a dancer. This is my first time being part of a wedding party.”
“Seriously? I thought that was some sort of rite of passage for women.”
His words reminded her of how socially barren her life had been. And this man had pointed out her shortcoming as easily as if he were talking about the weather. Determined not to let him see the hurt in her eyes, she turned her attention to Ted Marston.
Yet Nate was so gorgeous she couldn’t help but surreptitiously glance his way. Someone should have warned her. Even his cane looked sexy. If only he wasn’t related to Sherri and Anna, two people she liked and admired. There was probably some rule about Nate dating the mother of one of his clients, but that didn’t stop her from wanting him to see her as a desirable woman, not just the mother of a troubled teen.
A desirable woman who hadn’t had a date in years. How sad was that?
She listened while Ted and Nate discussed Adam’s case, answering their questions as thoroughly as possible without giving away any information about their past.
She had to be careful this handsome man didn’t find out about her lies. And even if he decided to check on her story, Harry was in prison under a different name than hers.
“We’re pretty well finished here, I believe,” Ted said at last. “You do understand that mentoring a troubled teen requires a clear understanding of the family background and the issues that may have contributed to the teen needing help?”
Family background? That would mean Nate would be asking questions she’d have to answer. Would she be able to keep her lies straight given how this man made her feel? And if he was as good at his job as Sherri said, acquiring information on the family he was working with would be easy for him. “I...I guess so.”
“Great. Now, all we need is to determine a date and time for Nate to meet Adam.”
Gayle forced a smile to her lips. Regardless of how solid her story was about her past, she was suddenly afraid to take a chance on this man who made her feel vulnerable, sexy and out of her depth. “Mr. Marston, could I speak to you alone for a minute before we do that?”
“Is there a problem?” Ted asked.
“There might be,” Gayle said, mentally running through the lie she had to offer as the truth.
As the door closed behind Nate, Ted Marston turned to her.
She cleared her throat, and ran her tongue over her dry lips. “I don’t think Mr. Garrison will work out well with my son. I should have mentioned it sooner, before you went over Adam’s case, but I feel I have to say something.”
“What is your objection to Nate Garrison? As I explained to you earlier, he’s one of the best, and he is very good with teenagers in your son’s situation.”
“My son broke curfew and was in a fight. I realize it was wrong, and he and I have talked about it. He’s sorry. He’s really making an effort to change his behavior. I’m working hard as well, to see that he doesn’t make the same mistake again.” She caught his inquiring glance. “What I’m trying to say is that there are boys out there in more desperate circumstances than Adam. We’d be willing to wait for someone else in your agency.”
“Do you realize who the other teenagers were that were involved in that fight?”
“I assumed they were kids from Adam’s school.”
“They’re among the roughest kids in the area. Two of them have already served time for armed robbery. I’m not trying to scare you here. But do you see how important it is for Adam to get help as soon as possible?”
She did, and she felt really guilty for putting up barriers. “Could we possibly find someone younger?” she asked, grabbing for the first thought that popped into her head.
“What difference would that make?” Ted said, exasperation resonating in his tone.
“He might relate better to someone closer to his age.”
What a flimsy argument! Is that the best you can do?
“Ms. Sawyer, I’m not sure you realize what is involved in getting the right help for your son. As I mentioned before, we’re very busy. Each of my counselors has a waiting list, but because of Officer Edwards’s request, I went ahead and found someone who was willing to see your son right away. Nate Garrison will make the difference between Adam getting back on track, or joining up with the boys involved in that fight. I hope I’m making myself clear. This is the best chance Adam will ever have.” He dropped his pen on the desk. “But you can always choose not to take my advice.” The expression on the man’s face held a cool finality to it.
Having it put to her that way, what choice did she have? “No. Of course I’ll take your advice. I was just a little anxious. I’ve never been involved in something like this before.”
“Then let me explain it to you a little more. Nate will want to meet your son, spend time with you as well as Adam. He will get to know you and your son, and in the process he’ll be able to identify problems that need to be worked on.”
Gayle’s stomach began to ache. “Why does he have to work with me?”
“Because you’re Adam’s mother, and your influence on his life is important in getting to the root of his problems. Also, the role his father played in his life, and your family ties, will be significant, as well. Adam has no siblings, but there might be a cousin he trusts or looks up to, a positive influence in his life.” He looked at her questioningly.
“No.” Gayle directed her gaze to her hands resting in her lap, feeling once again inadequate, alone and completely responsible for everything in her life. She didn’t want Adam to live as she did—alone and fearful of what lay ahead. She wanted him to be a happy, well-adjusted teenager, and eventually a young adult with a good life waiting for him when he completed his education. She wanted him to have everything she’d never had.
“So what will it be? Can I call Nate back into the room, and we’ll begin the process of getting help for Adam?”
“Yes, please,” she murmured, dread filling her mind at the prospect of someone picking around her past. If he discovered anything, would he tell her first? What if he encouraged Adam to go on the internet to find information about his family, especially his father? Thankfully, Adam hadn’t shown any real interest in researching family connections. That would certainly change if Nate started asking questions about Harry and her life in Anaheim.
She intended to do whatever it took to help Adam, but she would do everything in her power to keep her past out of it. Harry must never be brought into the conversation.
She should have kept her concerns about Nate to herself. He had to be wondering why she had requested time alone with the head of the center, already putting her at a disadvantage.
She knew it was selfish of her, but she couldn’t risk her friends finding out about her past and the shame she would feel when she was exposed as a liar. She didn’t want to be the subject of gossip in this town she’d come to love. She felt welcome here, accepted for who she was, who she wanted people to believe she was. And all that could come tumbling down if anyone learned of her lie about Adam’s father.
But worst of all, if she wasn’t careful, her past could affect her son’s future. Adam deserved the best she could give him, which meant she would do everything in her power to protect him from her past.
CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_300f9739-6092-5fd4-89b1-f070cdf3bb1b)
NATE PARKED HIS car in front of Gayle Sawyer’s house and started up the walk toward the bright blue door, his cane supporting his damaged hip as always. He’d been with Sherri at Anna’s house for dinner the other night, and was impressed with his cousin’s continued praise for Gayle. He’d liked the woman despite the fact that he’d been sent packing from Ted Marston’s office without an explanation. She certainly hadn’t behaved the way he’d expected, throwing him off guard. And the hand holding thing. He’d never, ever had to be reminded to let go of someone’s fingers. When he was asked to rejoin the conversation it was clear from Gayle’s body language that she was uncomfortable with him being there.
She was beautiful and sexy, yet her eyes were guarded, wary. He’d caught her staring at him, and couldn’t help but wonder if she was deciding whether or not his use of a cane would affect his ability to help her son. Was Gayle Sawyer the kind of person that saw his disability first, and made a judgment based on that?
Whatever his feelings, whatever judgment she had made about him, none of it mattered, because behind this brightly painted door lived a teenager who was on the edge of serious trouble. Officer Andrew Edwards was a caring young man who was doing night classes in Bangor in order to get his degree in psychology. From what he’d described of the fight that night, there was a great deal of pressure for Adam to join this gang of high school dropouts.
A tap of the brass knocker on the solid wood door resulted in the door swinging open immediately. Gayle stood there, her mass of black curls swaying around her shoulders.
She’d been waiting for him. The thought pleased him more than he was willing to admit to anyone but himself.
“Please come in,” she said just as her son appeared. Adam Sawyer was tall for his age with a smattering of acne on his cheeks. His dark hair was cut short, and his green eyes radiated distrust. They both stared at Nate as if he were bringing bad news.
Once inside, they moved to the living room, where Adam sank onto the sofa, leaving Gayle and him facing each other in chairs near the fireplace. Nate placed his cane discreetly by the fireplace, but not before he became aware of the sympathy in Gayle’s expression. He’d become accustomed to the concerned glances of those he met, the sympathy that followed, and even the pity he’d seen in others. Such behavior was now part of his life, nothing more.
To give everyone time to settle in, he checked out the room’s interior. It was small and cozy with pastel blues and yellows accenting the dark woodwork typical of many homes in Eden Harbor.
Gayle’s hands smoothed the fabric of her well-worn jeans as she sized him up. “I made the curtains and the slipcovers. I love decorating, and this house offers plenty of opportunity.” Her smile was genuine as she spoke, a smile that Nate found very attractive.
“We’ll start off today talking a little bit about the two of you, and I can answer any questions you might have.”
“That sounds okay...” Her anxious glance swerved to Adam and back to Nate. “What do you need me to do?”
“Just be here for your son. Although the focus is on him, there will be times when you and I will talk about how you feel, your concerns as his mother, what your family life was like. Things like that. Occasionally the three of us will talk about how things are going.” He looked at Adam. “But mostly Adam and I will be getting to know each other.”
“So what’s next?” She twisted her fingers in her lap as she eyed him from under thick lashes.
Anxiety was usual in these situations, but Gayle Sawyer seemed a little too anxious. Clearly she was worried about her son. But was that all? Single parents often lived with myriad concerns that were heightened during a crisis: the result of having to make all the adult decisions alone.
“How this works is that Adam and I will get together once a week to shoot pool, go to a sporting event, maybe a basketball game, talk about things that are bothering him. It won’t be about the fight he was involved in necessarily, but we’ll cover what’s going on in his life.”
“You don’t have to talk as if I’m not here,” Adam said in a sullen tone.
“Adam! Mr. Garrison is trying to help!”
Nate watched the troubled teen as he slouched farther into the sofa. Did he feel unnoticed, maybe unwelcome, in his new home? He’d lived here about a year, and making friends was sometimes difficult.
Nate smiled encouragingly as he directed all his attention to the teenager. “You’re absolutely right. And I guess I should tell you a little bit about myself. I was eleven when my father died. I missed him every day of my life. Then I met up with a police officer in circumstances similar to yours. Luckily I had family and friends who were willing to vouch for me, and I got my life turned around. I know what it’s like to feel so alone you want to lash out at people, especially as you get older and realize how important it is to have a dad’s influence in your life. And of course your move here probably wasn’t easy.”
Adam pressed his fists into the cushions of the sofa but said nothing.
“I suspect that you came here knowing no one, and had to start over finding friends. You felt like you didn’t fit in anywhere.”
Adam began picking at his nails. “I should have made the basketball team. I was on the team back in Anaheim. The school I went to there was awesome.”
“Why didn’t you make the team here?”
Adam shook his head, burying his chin in his chest. “Dunno.”
Nate made a note to call Coach Cassidy and see what he had to say about Adam.
“What’s your favorite subject in school?” Nate asked.
Adam lifted his head. “Computer science. I want to work in computers when I...when I get out of this place.”
“Adam, I didn’t know you were so unhappy in Eden Harbor,” Gayle said, her voice tight with worry.
“That’s because you work all the time at the hospital, and we don’t talk anymore like we used to when...” He rubbed his hands through his short hair, looking at neither of them.
Clearly there was a lot going on emotionally with Adam. Nate changed the subject. “Adam, do you like living in this house?”
“Yeah, it’s nicer than the apartment we had in Anaheim. Mom likes working in the garden. I never had fresh vegetables until we moved into this place.”
“I like this house, too,” Nate said. “I had a summer job mowing lawns, and one of them was across the street. I would watch Mrs. Cooper working in her flower beds and wish I had her talent with plants.”
Gayle’s face brightened. “Susan was my aunt. She left this house to me in her will.”
Adam sat up straighter and leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs, his eyes bright with interest. “You cut grass, too? How many lawns did you do?”
“I had five. Two during the week, and three on the weekend.”
* * *
GAYLE LISTENED AS Adam talked to Nate about his lawn work and began to feel the tension ease from her shoulders. Nate had found something he and Adam had in common. She could have hugged the man on the spot. She had no idea how a mentor worked, but if Nate’s behavior so far was any indication, this could prove to be so much easier than she’d expected. Quietly she slipped from the room and went to the kitchen, putting the kettle on for tea. She took morning-glory cookies she’d made earlier from the jar and placed them on a plate.
When the tea was ready, she put everything on a tray, including a glass of milk for Adam and headed back to the living room. Adam was laughing out loud, a sound she had rarely heard in the past few weeks. Clearly her son was very happy with the attention Nate was giving him. Delighted to be part of this new development, she put the tray on the coffee table in front of Adam.
“I thought we could enjoy a cup of tea and Adam’s favorite cookies while we talk,” Gayle said, being careful not to spill anything as she poured tea for Nate and herself. She was proud to see that Adam had waited until she’d served Nate before taking his usual four cookies and the glass of milk.
Nate and Adam continued their discussion of which mowers worked best, how Adam had managed to fix his machine the last time it broke down. Gayle was pleased to see a look of accomplishment on her son’s face, and hoped this was the beginning of a return to sharing their daily lives.
When the plate of cookies was empty, Adam finished the last of his milk and stood up. “If no one minds, I’m meeting a friend to go skateboarding.”
Forcing her shoulders down, Gayle drew in a deep breath to ease her instant anxiety. “When will you be back?”
“A bunch of us are heading over to the skateboard park. I’ll be back for dinner.”
Gayle followed him out to the back door. Once out of earshot of Nate, she asked, “What did you think of Mr. Garrison?”
“He’s okay, Mom.” He patted her shoulder the way he often did. “Stop worrying. You heard him. He said we’d hang out once a week, and that’s fine.” Scooping his skateboard off the bench, he skipped down the steps, following the cobbled path to the front of the house before disappearing from sight.
Gayle went back into the house, expecting to find Nate where she’d left him in the living room. Instead, he was standing in the kitchen, the tray on the marble counter. “Was the move from Anaheim relatively easy?”
“Yes. I was ready for a change. When I learned that my aunt had left this house to me, I couldn’t wait to move here. I’d never been to the East Coast before. It’s been a wonderful experience. I’ve made friends with several people at work, and I love my job.” Hoping that would end his questions, she started to put the dishes in the dishwasher.
“Most people don’t pick up and move that easily. Leaving friends and relatives behind is usually difficult. Why didn’t you sell this house and just stay in Anaheim?”
Gayle glanced around the sunny kitchen with its cream walls and blue/green accents, all of which she’d done herself. “Because I had never owned a home before, and I loved the photos my aunt’s executor sent me.”
“What was your life in Anaheim like? Did you work in a medical clinic there?”
Was this how it worked? He would gain background information on her before he began working with Adam? “I did. It was okay, but not nearly as friendly as the Eagle Mountain Medical Center.”
“That’s good to hear.” He paused. They exchanged half smiles. “You and Sherri have become close friends.”
“She’s the best friend I’ve ever had.” She’d never admit to him that Sherri was her first real friend. Growing up, she couldn’t take anyone to the shabby home she shared with her parents for fear of what state they’d be in, which had left her feeling isolated from her classmates.
She wanted Adam to have friends, and a place he was proud to bring them to. He had done that until about a month ago. She probably should tell Nate about that, but it might be better to wait and see how he made out with Adam before volunteering any information.
“Do you miss your friends in Anaheim?”
“With a child to raise, and very little money, I didn’t have many friends.”
“Had you moved there from somewhere else?”
“I lived in Riverside for a short time, but Anaheim mostly.”
A frown line formed between his eyes. “I can understand that you’d be busy with a child and a career, but why was it easier to make friends here in Eden Harbor than in Anaheim?”
He was asking questions she couldn’t answer without exposing the truth she’d vowed to keep to herself. She’d moved out of the neighborhood she’d been living in with Harry as soon as she could. With the grudging help of her parents, she’d taken a medical receptionist course, after which she’d moved to another part of town. There she’d intentionally avoided making friends who might connect her to the sensational coverage of Harry’s trial. Having Adam in her life was everything she’d ever wanted, and the one good thing to come out of her past. “I...I’m not sure.”
“What about Adam’s father?”
Gayle nearly dropped the plate she was placing in the dishwasher. “His father died in a fishing trawler accident off Alaska just a few months after Adam was born.”
“I’m sorry. It must have made your life very difficult. Did you have family to support you while you raised Adam?”
“My parents passed away a few years ago.” In Anaheim, her mother and father hadn’t bothered to stay in touch with her, and she didn’t mind because they were always expecting her to do things for them—from housework to grocery shopping. She guessed that making demands on her was their version of being involved in her life.
She finished cleaning up the kitchen while Nate watched, as if assessing her. She was exhausted from the past hour, and needed to get this man to leave before he asked any more questions. He would do what he could to help get Adam’s life back on track, of that much she was certain. Once that was done, and it would be, she’d concentrate on the future, her work and her friends.
The man standing just a few feet from her would not play any role in her life after that for a couple of very good reasons. She couldn’t trust herself not to be drawn to him, or worse, to end up wanting him. If she allowed him into her life beyond his involvement with Adam, he would certainly learn things about her he wouldn’t like, thus putting an end to any further relationship.
She wanted Nate to leave, but from the way he’d positioned himself along the edge of her counter, he didn’t intend to do that any time soon. To stop his deluge of questions, she decided to learn what she could about his relationship with Anna. She and Gayle had had coffee several times, but Anna had never really talked about her brother.
* * *
NATE FOUND IT hard to take his eyes off this woman, while she seemed to be totally unaware of him. Gayle Sawyer was gorgeous, worried and hiding something.
All Nate’s police training told him, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the woman before him was protecting a secret so big that she would do anything to keep it from him. Given that his sole purpose in being here was to mentor her son, that secret almost certainly involved Adam. As he stood there watching her, he wondered what would make a mother hide the truth if her son’s happiness stood to suffer.
Furthermore, if he was completely honest himself, he wanted to know more about this woman out of a personal interest. He’d liked her from the first moment they’d exchanged glances.
Not that he wanted to date her. He didn’t. She wasn’t his type. He’d made it a practice to choose women who wouldn’t make any emotional demands on him, who were out to enjoy life. Such relationships suited his lifestyle.
He’d once had a different outlook, and was drawn to a different type of woman... Until that disastrous day after he’d been shot when he’d learned that the woman he’d planned to spend the rest of his life with wasn’t into a man with a disability.
That moment of truth had nearly been his undoing. Never again would he kid himself into thinking that a woman would want him just as he was, disability and all. Maybe in the short-term, but not the long. Because of that, he would never again allow a woman to get close enough to hurt him.
From what he could tell by being around her, Gayle Sawyer was the kind of woman who took life seriously. Something he wasn’t into. He couldn’t be.
“Gayle, I understand how you must be feeling right now. Having someone walk into your life under such difficult circumstances and then start asking personal questions would cause anyone anxiety.”
She didn’t flinch, nor did she offer up any information, as so many people did when they were offered a sympathetic response. This lady had the kind of focused determination he usually experienced with his law enforcement friends and colleagues. Not a woman who was worried about her son.
He hadn’t expected her to be so self-contained, so in control. She wasn’t the typical mother of a son on the verge of trouble with the law.
There was something going on here...
Or was he simply feeling the effects of her total lack of interest in him as a man?
* * *
GAYLE GRUDGINGLY ADMITTED she liked this man, despite his questions. After all, he was only doing his job, and she had to believe that he would help her son, that his questions would lead to a better life for Adam. “I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but I know your sister, Anna. We belong to the same single-parents support group.”
“No, I didn’t. She’s been busy and so have I.” He crossed his arms over his chest as he met her questioning gaze.
“She’s really great. So brave to be raising her boys alone after losing her husband in Afghanistan. She’s amazing.”
“She is. When Kevin was killed we were afraid that she might not be able to cope. Sherri was really supportive, and her mother, Colleen, moved Anna and her family into her house for those awful first weeks after we’d learned about Kevin’s death.”
“Were you living here at the time?”
“No. I was still in Boston recovering from my injuries.”
She couldn’t look at his leg or the cane leaning against the counter without wondering about the officer Harry had shot. “I’m sorry you were shot. It must have been really awful.” She desperately wished she could change the subject without appearing heartless.
“It was, and there are days when it still is. But life goes on. The one good thing that came out of it was that I made the decision to move back here where I have family and friends.”
He didn’t say anything for a few minutes, leaving Gayle to wonder if the memories of the shooting still haunted him. Yet she didn’t want to know more about that day. She didn’t want to know his story. That would only heighten her guilt about what Harry had done fourteen years ago. “Yes, friends and family can be so supportive,” she said to comfort him and to keep the conversation moving away from her.
Many times she wished that she’d gone to see Officer Perry and apologized for what Harry had done. But back then she was too afraid that she would be seen as an accomplice. She had been almost eighteen at the time and had lived in fear that somehow she would be implicated. Her ignorance of the law had held her back from acting on her need to somehow make it right with the officer, and then time passed until it was too late for her to say anything.
“How easily a single event can change everything for so many people,” she said, feeling an odd attachment to this man—and an even more unusual curiosity about him. “Was it difficult to pick up and move home, leaving your life in Boston?”
His eyes were kind as he spoke. “I had been thinking about making a change. After my injury I wasn’t really happy sitting at a desk all day. When Kevin died I was needed here. Anna’s two boys had lost their father, and that was something I felt I could help them deal with. When I suggested it to Anna, she tried to dissuade me, but I convinced her that it was what I wanted.”
This man cared deeply about his family, a trait she admired very much. A caring family was something she’d never experienced. She envied the family life Nate, Sherri and Anna shared. She longed for the same thing for herself and Adam. How different their life might have been if they’d had a supportive family.
But there was no going back, no wishing for what could never be. This was her new life, and this man had come here to provide support to Adam. With his professional experience and family history, he might make a big difference in her son’s life.
* * *
GAYLE SAWYER SEEMED so understanding. Yet it was more than that. She seemed to genuinely care about people, and that included Anna. He’d seen the look in her eyes as he talked about his sister. Gayle was a friend Anna could count on, and it made him feel...pleased. Yeah, that was it. He was pleased that his sister had found a friend she could rely on—not that Anna didn’t have friends in Eden Harbor. After all, she’d lived here her entire life. But something made him realize Gayle would be special.
And that realization increased his desire to do everything he could for Adam. Not that he hadn’t been committed to this case when he’d come here. But Gayle was a friend of both his sister and his cousin. That gave him a whole other reason for wanting to see Adam a happy, well-adjusted teenager.
Although he was fascinated by this woman, that was as far as it could go. His life was just fine the way it was. He wouldn’t allow himself to see Gayle as anything other than a client and a friend of the family.
Returning his focus to the present and what he needed to do, he glanced at his watch. How had he lost track of the time? That never happened to him. “I have to get out of here if I’m going to make my next appointment. Thanks for the tea and cookies.”
“Of course.” She walked with him to the door, her expression warmed by the sudden smile on her face. “Have a nice day,” she said as she opened the door.
He could have sworn she was about to say, “Have a nice life.”
Was Gayle hoping she wouldn’t have to see him again? Did she find his presence in her life an unwelcome necessity? He hadn’t considered the possibility until this moment. Yet she had to have serious reservations about the whole process they were involved in. Could her private chat with Ted Marston have been about him? He smiled to himself. Necessity had forced her to accept him into her life. Professional responsibility had guaranteed that he would act in her son’s best interests. In other words, the relationship between them was all business.
He had started out expecting that to be the case—counting on it, actually. Yet now as his eyes met hers, he was struck by an idea. She welcomed his leaving. She wanted her space back, free of his interference. The thought made him feel off balance, shaken and for some reason more than a little disappointed.
CHAPTER FOUR (#ulink_0b9ac85d-44ae-551b-8a27-91173ca3352b)
AT THE CLINIC on Monday morning Gayle tucked the phone against her shoulder as she listened to Mrs. Lockhart explain why she couldn’t keep her appointment on Wednesday and needed to reschedule. It had been a busy morning, and as a result Gayle hadn’t gotten the lab results filed from last week’s Thursday and Friday clinics. The normal procedure was that a copy went to the patient’s doctor’s office and one to the clinic where the specialist or surgeon saw the patient.
Distracted by the mound of paper on her desk while she searched the computerized schedule for an opening, she almost put Emily Lockhart into the wrong clinic. She corrected her error and assigned Emily a new appointment. “There. That’s done. See you on the seventeenth, Mrs. Lockhart.”
“Thank you so much. You know sometimes it’s hard to get a drive into town when everyone is working. Some of my family members work two jobs just to make ends meet.”
“I understand,” Gayle said, sympathetic and once again thankful that she had stable employment.
When she got off the phone, she turned to the test results that needed to be filed without delay. She had about an hour before the afternoon clinic, and if she ate her lunch quickly in the staff room, she should be able to get the paperwork cleared up before the busy afternoon began.
It was once again Neill Brandon’s clinic day, and Sherri, as one of the nurses in the clinics, would be back here any minute to ensure that everything was ready. Meanwhile Gayle dug a health bar out of her bag under the desk and took a quick bite before starting to sort the reports in alphabetical order. They would all have to be filed in the cabinets along the back wall of the reception area. She was halfway through the pile when she came to the results of a referral for Anna Barker from Dr. Ningh, a neurologist who held clinics here every two weeks.
Why would Anna be seeing a neurologist? Gayle scanned the report. “...further study is needed to rule out Parkinson’s disease...”
Gayle’s hand trembled. It couldn’t be. Anna was a single mom who worked as administrative assistant to the mayor of Eden Harbor, Larry Green. Not only did she depend on the money it paid, but Anna loved her job because it allowed her to leave the house when the boys went to school, and to be home within an hour of when they returned. Larry was a good boss whom Anna liked. He was very understanding when she needed time off to care for her boys.
But what would happen to all of them if Anna had Parkinson’s?
“Earth calling Gayle,” Sherri said in an overly loud voice, making Gayle jump and send the report fluttering to the floor. “Whatever you’re reading must be important.”
“Just a report,” Gayle said, her heart pounding with worry.
“I’ll get it,” Sherri volunteered.
No one could know about this, not only for reasons of patient confidentiality, but also because she didn’t want Sherri to worry until there was good reason. It was the least she could do for her friend. Besides, there was no need to alarm anyone until Anna had her appointment with Dr. Ningh.
“No. I’ll get it.” Gayle ducked down quickly and scooped up the paper, greeted by a quizzical glance from Sherri. “I was just about to file this, but it can wait,” she said, tucking the paper into the pile on her desk.
Sherri took her usual spot on the other side of the raised counter. “You haven’t told me how your first visit with Nate went.”
“Fine. He and Adam seemed to hit it off, although Adam left before Nate did.”
“Oh, really?” Sherri said, a hint of smugness to her tone.
“It wasn’t like that. Adam had a skateboarding date with his friends, and the interview went a little longer than I expected. Nate left shortly after.”
“Nate tells me that he enjoyed meeting you. How about you?”
“Nate is your cousin, and I hope one day that he and I will be friends,” she said, thankful that there were no questions about the report on her desk. Fending off Sherri’s curiosity about Nate and her was easy. Nate hadn’t shown any real interest in her. As for herself, she remembered the frisson of excitement she’d felt when he’d come to the door, and wished that she dared to talk about her reaction. But it was out of the question, especially when she would never act on her feelings. “Other than that, there’s nothing to report.”
“Did Adam like him?” Sherri said, her tone gentle now.
Gayle glanced up at her friend, noted the concern in her eyes and was once again so thankful that someone like Sherri cared so much about her and Adam. “We talked a little when he returned from his skateboarding, and in Adam’s words, he’s ‘cool.’ Nate asked him a lot about his job.”
“Nate mowed lawns until he went to work in grade nine at Peterson’s Pharmacy stocking shelves,” Sherri said. “The girls used to go into the store just to catch a glimpse of him, but he only had eyes for Natasha Burnham.”
“Did he go with her very long?” Gayle asked, unable to stop herself from wanting to know more about Nate.
“He did. When he joined the police academy and moved to Boston, she went with him. They had planned to be married the summer he was injured, a big wedding here in Eden Harbor. Then one morning Natasha told him she wanted out. That she couldn’t imagine being married to a man who would always walk with a cane.”
“What a cruel thing to do! Why did she accept his proposal? She couldn’t have loved him very much,” Gayle said, at once angry at this woman she’d never met and sad for Nate and what he must have faced in the weeks and months after Natasha left him.
“She grew up spoiled, always got what she wanted. And she’d wanted Nate from the time they were in high school. Only not the Nate he became after the shooting.”
“What do you mean?” Gayle asked, becoming more aware of how much damage Nate’s shooter had done aside from the physical injuries.
“Nate had to focus all his efforts on getting well. Gone were the days of partying and staying up half the night, along with skiing or dancing or playing tennis. It was all gone. At the time we had no idea why they’d split up. Nate wasn’t talking and Natasha moved to New Orleans.”
“That must have been really hard on him,” Gayle said. “No one deserves to be dumped in such a heartless way.”
“No kidding! He managed to get to his treatments and appointments in Boston on his own, even though the whole family wanted to help. He fended off all offers, claiming that he had a circle of friends who were there for him, and he needed to devote his time to getting healthy again.”
“Maybe he just couldn’t face everyone’s sympathy over what Natasha had done to him. It must have been really painful to realize that the woman you loved didn’t love you.”
“Natasha expected that Nate would always be there for her, trying to please her, but the accident meant that she had a new role to play helping him. Obviously she couldn’t or wouldn’t do that. It’s too bad Nate had to learn something that heartbreaking the hard way.”
Gayle felt a connection to this man that went well beyond their meeting the other day. He’d had his share of suffering and pain at the hands of someone he’d loved, just as she had. “Natasha’s abandonment had to have changed him.”
“It did. Nate was a different man when he returned to Eden Harbor. He hasn’t hooked up with any of his old gang from school, and the women he dates are all much younger. He only introduced me to a couple of them and they seemed...frivolous. Not the kind of women I would have imagined him being interested in. Maybe he’s just a poor judge of women.”
“Or keeps meeting the wrong kind.”
“Could be. He doesn’t bring any of them home, or so his mother says. She wishes he’d find someone, but...” She shrugged. “Nate won’t talk about it.”
Gayle wanted to know more about Nate. He’d survived injury and rejection and still managed to keep going. To have survived what had happened to him took courage and determination, both admirable qualities in her mind.
“Are you sure there’s nothing going on between you two?” Sherri asked.
“No. Nothing. What made you say that?”
“This whole conversation has been about Nate, so don’t tell me you’re not interested in him.”
Wouldn’t it be nice to share with her friend how she’d felt the other day when Nate was at the house? How being near him made her feel...better about life. But hearing Sherri’s description of the type of women he dated, she began to wonder if maybe Sherri believed her cousin needed a different kind of woman. One that would offer him stability and support.
If Sherri was trying to get her and Nate together to solve what she saw as her cousin’s problem with women, Gayle wasn’t interested. She had enough issues to work out in her own life. “Sorry to disappoint, but there’s nothing to report on the romance front.”
Sherri’s face was one big smile as Neill entered the clinic space. “We’ll talk about Nate later,” she said as she crossed the reception area to greet her fiancé.
* * *
NATE STOOD OUTSIDE Coach Cassidy’s office while he waited for him to get off the phone. Nate had had several appointments with teachers of some of the teenagers he was working with and had decided to drop by and see the coach before he finished his day. In Nate’s experience Coach Cassidy was a very perceptive man, a quality somewhat at odds with his size and his aggressive coaching skills. “A man’s man” was how the principal of the school described him.
Yet many times Bill Cassidy had known almost instinctively which teenagers were in trouble and how that trouble was affecting them. After watching Adam interact with his mother and detecting his poorly disguised hostility at feeling invisible, Nate suspected that the boy was very lonely and it was affecting his relationships with fellow students and teachers. That was to be expected under the circumstances, but also something to cause concern, should it continue or get worse. Feelings of loneliness could easily lead to feelings of alienation, and he didn’t want to see that happen to Adam. He hoped the coach could explain a little bit about Adam and how he behaved around his peer group off and on the basketball court, but more important, why he hadn’t made the team.
“Well, hello,” Bill Cassidy said as he opened the door to his office and beckoned Nate in. “What can I do for you? Or is this a social call? I’m nearly done for the day. Want to go for a beer?”
“Yeah, that would be great,” Nate said, watching the other man grab his jacket, flip his keys out of his pocket and lock his office door all in one smooth movement.
“So how’s life treating you these days? Still busy as ever, I assume,” the older man said as they took the stairs to the back entrance of the school. Nate noticed that Bill didn’t rush down the stairs, giving Nate a chance to keep pace with him.
“Too busy, really, but that’s the way it is, I guess.”
They walked in unison along the cobbled walkway toward the downtown, stopping at the entrance to Missy’s Bar and Grill. “And of course you’re getting ready to be a groomsman at Neill’s wedding. That’s going to be quite a party.”
“I’m looking forward to it. It’s about time those two got married, if you ask me.”
Bill shook his head slowly as they climbed onto bar stools and ordered two locally brewed draft beers. They talked sports, weather and the state of the fishing industry, and all during their conversation Neill sensed that Bill was working up to something.
Bill toyed with the napkin placed in front of him by the waiter. “Mind if I ask you a question?”
His tentative tone aroused Nate’s curiosity. “Sure.”
“How far would you go to find love?”
“What?”
Bill hunched forward. “What I mean is this. Look at Neill and Sherri. They were so in love and planned to be married when they were in high school. Then suddenly it was all over. And if Neill hadn’t come back here they would never have known how much they still loved each other.”
“I guess I haven’t really thought about it.” Nate was feeling a little embarrassed at the turn the conversation had taken. He’d never have expected Bill Cassidy to bring up such a topic. But he had to admit he didn’t really know Bill except on a professional level.
“Take you, for instance. You must have loved someone in high school—Natasha Burnham, if I remember. Would you want to have a second chance at love like Neill and Sherri? What would you do if you got the chance?”
The subject of his ex-fiancée was nobody’s business, and he was becoming very uncomfortable with the direction this conversation seemed to be going. “Unfortunately, it’s not something I’ve given much thought to recently. I guess you could say I had my chance.”
“You think we only get one chance at love?”
What was Bill getting at? The man had to be close to retirement, but he had been a fantastic basketball player, valedictorian of the first class to graduate from the newly built high school on the edge of town thirty years ago. He’d dated Ellen Donnelly in high school. He could have played pro basketball, but had refused the opportunity, choosing instead to go to the University of Maine. When he had come back to Eden Harbor with a degree in physical education, the town had welcomed him back.
Nate had no idea where Ellen had ended up, and she’d never been back to Eden Harbor. Some people believed Bill had a long-standing relationship with a professor of psychology who vacationed in Eden Harbor each summer.
He had also heard that Bill was coaching a volleyball team made up of women who worked in the town. And he was quite certain Sherri had mentioned that Peggy Anderson, the phlebotomist at the medical center, was on the team. In fact, she was the only one among Sherri’s friends who made the team, which had sparked rumors about her and the coach. But Nate knew only too well how easily rumors could get started with little or no basis in fact.
Regardless, Nate was pretty sure that Bill was talking about his love life. Maybe he was involved with Peggy but worried about the age difference. But Nate would never ask Bill something that personal. He wanted people to respect his privacy, and that meant he respected theirs.
“Can I ask you something?” Bill wiped the dew off the full glass sitting in front of him.
What now? “Sure.”
“If someone was looking for a good private investigator, who would you recommend?”
Surprised by yet another sudden change in topic, Nate studied the older man, seeking a clue as to what was going on. Bill’s gaze was fixed on the glass in front of him.
Nate took a long swallow of his beer as he considered his answer. “Is this about one of your students?”
“No. Nothing of the kind. I have a friend who’s in need of a little help locating someone, that’s all.”
Nate sighed. “I have no idea. But I’ll ask around and see what I can find out. It may mean that the private detective will come from Portland or farther south. Would that be a problem?”
“You’re wondering what I’m up to, aren’t you?” Bill asked.
“No.” Yet in truth he was. The cop in him couldn’t help digging for details. “It’s none of my business. I’ll ask around and see what I can come up with.”
Bill’s gaze was steady as he assessed Nate. “Thanks for helping me. I appreciate it. Being asked for advice about a private investigator can’t be an everyday occurrence for you.”
Nate shook his head.
Bill leaned forward, resting his elbows on the bar. “But you aren’t here having a beer because I need something. If I remember correctly, it was you who came to my office.” He raised his eyebrows in question.
Relieved to focus on something other than Bill’s odd behavior, Nate pushed his glass aside and turned to him. “I’m mentoring Adam Sawyer, and he tells me he didn’t make the basketball team this year. I’m wondering if you could tell me why?”
Bill took a long drink of his beer, wiping his lips with the napkin before putting the glass back on the shiny bar. “Adam is a good player, but not a team player. Despite my coaching him to do so, he seldom shared the ball, making the most routine plays pretty well impossible. I talked to him about it, and he promised to do better. But the minute he got his hands on the ball, he’d bolt for the end of the court. He cost us a lot of fouls in practice, not to mention loss of a concerted team play or a good offensive strategy. In the end, he wouldn’t listen to me or make the changes I needed. I already had too many boys trying out for the team.” He shrugged. “I’m sorry, because I really like him. I have to admit that when he got that ball in his hands, there were few players on the team that could stop him.”
“I’m sorry he didn’t work out.” Nate stared at the mirror behind the bar in silence for a few minutes. He’d hoped to be able to help Adam, to make him feel more a part of the community by getting Bill to reconsider. “Is there any chance you’d change your mind?”
“No, unfortunately. Not a chance. I had to cut two other players who were more seasoned than Adam. That doesn’t mean that with a change in approach he won’t make the team next year. Why are you so concerned?”
“He’s been in a bit of trouble, picked up by the police, being rude to his mother, not keeping curfew, that sort of thing. I’d like to intervene and get him away from a group of older teenagers who are already on the road to trouble.”
“I see what you’re getting at. Does his homeroom teacher know about your concerns?”
“Not yet.”
“Does he have good support at home? His dad died, trawler accident, I believe. What about his mom?”
“She’s very concerned, and she seems willing to do whatever it takes to keep her son out of trouble.”
“Are there days you wish you had an easier job?” Bill asked sympathetically.
Nate nodded, thankful to have someone who understood how difficult it could be working with vulnerable kids.
They finished their beer in companionable silence.
“Would you like another?” the bartender asked.
“Not for me,” Bill said, grinning at the bartender. “I need to get home. I’m coaching the women’s volleyball team tonight.” He slapped Nate on the back. “If there’s anything I can do to help, you’ve only got to ask.”
“Thanks.” Nate watched him leave and wished that he had something to look forward to tonight, or someone. When he’d decided to stick to short-term relationships, he’d forgotten how lonely life could be without someone who was interested in his day and what went on in his life.
He smiled to himself. Who was he kidding? He’d chosen his love life, and with few exceptions he liked it the way it was. No one knew better than Nate that the future was tomorrow. One day away and no longer. He’d known that the day Natasha Burnham had walked out on him.
“I’ll have another,” he said.
* * *
FOR THE PAST ten days Adam had not missed his curfew, had done all his chores, mowed his lawns and worked on his home assignments. Gayle couldn’t help but note that in the past week several of the calls she’d answered for him had been female voices, not the usual sullen male tones.
She didn’t want to jump to any conclusions just yet about what would happen in the coming weeks, but she felt very hopeful that maybe the worst was over with Adam. Wouldn’t that be a relief? Wouldn’t it be great if she and Adam were able to look to the future, to Adam doing well in school and having a better chance to make the basketball team next year?
Nate had come over last weekend and taken Adam to a basketball game in Portland, which from Adam’s account had been awesome. She tried not to be too obvious in her inquiry about Adam’s time with Nate, but from what she could learn the two of them were really hitting it off. Had Nate’s visits been all her son needed to get back on track?
She checked her watch. Nate was due here any minute to take Adam fishing, something she’d never had the opportunity to do, and had been pleased that Nate suggested it. From the moment Gayle learned she was pregnant she’d dreamed of a life for Adam that included things like fishing, hiking and all different kinds of sports. Even if someday soon Adam didn’t need any more of Nate’s counseling, having someone to go fishing with would be wonderful for her son.
She was at the door on the first ring, throwing it open to see Nate’s smiling face.
“Were you waiting for me?” he asked, his smile lighting the space between them.
“Yes...yes, I was.” She fidgeted with the doorknob, her head whirling from the pleasant feeling rushing through her. She let go of the door and just stood there, knowing she must look a little silly.
“Can I come in?” Nate asked.
She glanced up at his face, her eyes moving to his. What would it feel like to have Nate coming to the door asking for her? About her? Like a real live date? Or maybe as a boyfriend?
He smiled encouragingly, but didn’t move.
“Oh! Yes, please come in,” she said, her cheeks warm. She bit her lip and tried to think of something intelligent to say, but nothing... “Adam is just finishing his breakfast.”
“No. I’m ready,” Adam said, coming down the stairs dressed and ready to go. “Do I need to bring anything, Nate?”
Gayle was delighted to hear the upbeat tone in her son’s voice. She caught the smiling glance he gave Nate, one filled with a camaraderie she hadn’t seen before.
“I have all the gear in the car,” Nate said, grinning at Adam. “We’ll be fishing for a few hours.”
Gayle was so relieved to see how much her son seemed to be looking forward to the day ahead.
As Adam came up and stood beside Nate, Gayle realized that the two of them were nearly the same height. Her son was growing tall and slim, so like Harry. She blocked any more comparisons between her son and her ex. Adam would not be like his father...she hoped.
Nate turned his attention to Gayle with a look so intense it took her breath away. “I packed lunch for the both of us.”
For a split second she thought he was referring to her—to her and him—to a day for just the two of them. The thought of someone caring enough to invite her on a picnic made tears sting her eyes, longing crouch near her heart. “That wasn’t necessary...but thank you.”
“You’re welcome. We’re going to have a great day.”
“I’ll bet the fish aren’t looking forward to our arrival,” Adam said, a grin on his face as he walked past Nate with his backpack slung over his shoulder.
Acutely aware of the handsome man standing so close, Gayle waited uneasily for Nate to turn and leave. He didn’t. Instead, he moved a step closer to her, his wide shoulders blocking the light from the front door. “Would you like to have coffee sometime? We need to talk about a few things.”
His words startled her. “What? Adam’s doing okay, isn’t he?”
“I believe so, but I would like to run through a few things with you.” His grin was so endearing.
“You and me having coffee?” she asked, feeling exhilarated, until she realized that he probably did this with all the parents of the teenagers he mentored. Yet it didn’t stop her from wondering about him, about the women in Nate’s life. They were probably supersophisticated, and wouldn’t be acting as stunned as she was right now.
She wanted to say yes. To sit in a cozy booth someplace like Bobby’s Bistro down on Market Street while they sipped coffee and watched people on the street. To be with this man, to have his full attention focused on her, would be wonderful...only if she was prepared to face the consequences should she let something slip out...some inconsistency in her story that contradicted what she’d already told him. Darn!
She stalled for time, trying to decide if she should take the risk. “When?”
“Whenever our schedules allow. You work all week and so do I. What about tomorrow?”
“That’s Sunday.”
“Yes, it is.” He cocked one eyebrow, his smile charming her.
“I’d...I... Can we do it next Sunday?”
His brows burrowed together. He looked genuinely disappointed. “Sure.”
She felt like a jerk for not simply accepting his invitation, but she had little choice. If Adam continued to improve, Nate’s part in their lives would quickly come to an end. She was pretty sure that if Adam no longer needed Nate’s mentoring skills she wouldn’t have to worry about being invited out to coffee.
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