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Convincing the Rancher
Claire McEwen
About that night… Benson, California, represents all that Tess Cole doesn't want. So she intends to keep her business trip there brief. Too bad her idea to quickly change the mayor's mind about some planning issues dissolves the moment she recognizes him! That one night with Slaid Jacobs remains a personal favorite for Tess–and for him, too, it seems.Even though he's gorgeous and hot, it's clear to Tess that the single dad wants a commitment–something she avoids. It's also clear Slaid is bent on convincing her they can build a future out of their passionate past. And that's a very tempting offer…


About that night…
Benson, California, represents all that Tess Cole doesn’t want. So she intends to keep her business trip there brief. Too bad her idea to quickly change the mayor’s mind about some planning issues dissolves the moment she recognizes him! That one night with Slaid Jacobs remains a personal favorite for Tess—and for him, too, it seems.
Even though he’s gorgeous and hot, it’s clear to Tess that the single dad wants a commitment—something she avoids. It’s also clear Slaid is bent on convincing her they can build a future out of their passionate past. And that’s a very tempting offer…
The last thing Tess wanted was to work with a man she’d slept with.
“But don’t you ever think about that night?” Slaid asked.
She forced her voice to sound steady, cool. “Just so you know, I don’t mix up my personal and professional lives.”
“After what we shared, you couldn’t at least leave a note? I didn’t even know your name.”
Tess wasn’t used to feeling guilt. She swallowed it. “Well, now you know it. And if you insist I stay, that is still all that you’ll know about me. Clear?”
Mayor Slaid Jacobs laughed, but it was a bleak sound. “Clear as day.”
“Okay,” she agreed. “Tomorrow, then. But I hope by then you’ll have reconsidered your choice.”
“Oh, no.” He sat back down in his chair, crossing his long legs with his boots up on the desk. “I choose you, Tess.”
Dear Reader (#u380284bf-04aa-5453-9218-1fef4bd3b11f),
Tess Cole, the heroine of this book, appeared fully formed in my imagination while I was writing my first novel, A Ranch to Keep. Unapologetically sexy and completely independent, Tess sat down next to my heroine in a bar and advised her to put on a trench coat and nothing else, and go seduce the man she desired.
I knew immediately that I wanted to write Tess’s story, but I realized it would be challenging. Tess never had relationships, just the occasional one-night stand, and I had to try to understand why. What made her the way she is? And what kind of man could possibly be strong enough to stand up to her, and soulful enough to soften her?
Enter Slaid Jacobs, rancher, single dad and respected small-town mayor. Slaid believes in tradition and family and he takes his personal responsibilities and relationships very seriously. So what happens when he falls in love with Tess, who tries to avoid relationships altogether?
I hope you enjoy their story.
Wishing you joy,
Claire McEwen
Convincing the Rancher
Claire McEwen


www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
CLAIRE McEWEN lives by the ocean in Northern California with her husband, son and a scruffy, mischievous terrier. When not dreaming up new stories, she can be found digging in her garden with a lot of enthusiasm but, unfortunately, no green thumb. She loves discovering flea-market treasures, walking on the beach, dancing, traveling and reading, of course! Visit her online at clairemcewen.com (http://www.clairemcewen.com).
This book is dedicated to every reader who has overcome a difficult childhood and found a way to live and love despite the scars.
And to my husband and son, who teach me more about love every day.
Heartfelt thanks to my sister Beth, who works in public relations and generously shared her knowledge and experience while I was writing this book. And thank you to James Allen of Allterra Solar, who kindly answered all my questions about solar power. Any mistakes, detours from fact and embellishments are all mine!
And a special thank-you to Danny Click, for his guest appearance.
Contents
Cover (#u33fcf85f-ce89-513f-af61-6ce1acb4fac4)
Back Cover Text (#ubd4376c8-19ae-5fb0-99b5-7901385f1716)
Introduction (#u00c36e84-b496-5d1e-8b00-22d4aa5e21c3)
Dear Reader
Title Page (#u8cbcd7b0-91d4-5b52-9d26-391f31749868)
About the Author (#u3ecd68c2-d944-50c2-8579-415e2022b781)
Dedication (#u5e4cdd6c-98f0-5cb6-adab-0b4bd94e7ef1)
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
AFTERWORD
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#u380284bf-04aa-5453-9218-1fef4bd3b11f)
THE HIGH DESERT air nipped her skin with icy teeth. Tess hunched her shoulders and used her free hand to haul her collar up higher, but the frigid wind worked its way between the seams of her coat, stealing her warmth inch by inch. Clutching her phone, she paced the sidewalk, raising her voice as the wind tried to whip it away. “Ed, just because my friend moved out to this backwoods cow town, that doesn’t make me qualified for this!”
“We’ve been over this, Tess. You already know the area.” Ed’s voice was calm, and she pictured her boss, comfortable and snug in his San Francisco office, probably sipping excellent coffee. She’d had to endure vile convenience-store slop on the drive down, and she was pretty sure there wasn’t an espresso to be found in Benson, California.
“I’ve been here once.” She could swear the formidable peaks of the Sierra Nevada were glaring at her. She still couldn’t believe her best friend had left San Francisco behind for this.
“Come on, where is the Tess Cole I know and love? The one who enjoys a good challenge?”
“You mean the one who doesn’t want to spend the next month in a town whose population wouldn’t even fill our conference room?” Tess looked around at the white clapboard buildings, weathered by the fierce gusts that made this area so perfect for the wind farm she’d been sent here to sell. Down the street she saw a few ancient brick storefronts. It would be picturesque if Tess were a fan of the Wild West. She’d never cared much for history.
“Tess, did you call me just to complain? We’ve been having this same conversation for weeks. It’s not going to be easy convincing that town to accept a wind farm, and you’re the best community-relations person we’ve got. Anyway, don’t you have a meeting with the mayor soon?” Ed didn’t often get angry, but she could tell he was frustrated now.
Tess took a deep breath of the icy air, then another, calming herself. Silently counting to ten, she watched a semitruck trundle past, headed down Highway 395 toward Los Angeles. For a split second she imagined flagging down the driver and begging a ride to Southern California. She’d readily leave Ed and his windmills far behind for some sunshine, shopping and fine dining. That was her world. Not snow-topped mountains, cattle and a wind farm no one wanted.
But she also didn’t want to get fired. If she ever left Ed’s public relations firm, it would be on her own terms. “You’re right, Ed. I’d better get started.” She made her voice contrite, but in her mind’s eye she gave him a kick in the shin. It felt good.
“You can do this. Sell them on this wind project. The sooner you do, the sooner you can come home.” Ed hung up and Tess listened to the silence a moment, his absence still her closest link to home.
Shoving her phone into her coat pocket, Tess stretched, cramped after the long drive from San Francisco. She looked around, coming to terms with her exile. Benson was located on the edge of a huge flat valley that seemed to come in two forms, brown pasture and brown desert. It would all be incredibly boring except for one thing. Just beyond the town, the abrupt peaks of the Sierra Nevada jutted straight up. Their jagged cliffs seemed to roll on endlessly, one granite slab piled behind another. It was only October, but there was already snow on the mountaintops.
It was pretty if you liked your nature freezing and intimidating. Tess had never given nature much thought, but walking up Main Street, she decided that this was definitely not her kind of nature. If she had to pick a favorite, it would be tropical, with beaches and fruity drinks.
Benson town hall towered over all the other buildings, built of granite cut from the surrounding mountains. Luckily, Tess found a restroom just beyond the creaky double doors. She stood in front of the mirror, inventorying the damage to her carefully assembled look.
The mirror’s vintage glass provided only a wavy reflection, but one thing was clear—she was a mess. Her long blond hair, once slicked into a neat chignon, was now poking out in every direction. Her mascara had fragmented into ebony dust. And her pink cheeks and cold-reddened nose completed the havoc wreaked by the Benson wind.
Tess reached into her leather tote for her voluminous makeup bag. The sight of the colorful tubes and jars lifted her spirits a fraction. The Benson climate might challenge her skills, but she had no doubt she’d soon figure out the right products for the harsh conditions.
Her hair back in place, her face perfected once again, Tess plucked a piece of lint from her suit jacket and pulled the skirt down. It hadn’t looked nearly this short in San Francisco, but something about this historic granite building made her outfit choice seem frivolous. It would have been better, and a whole lot warmer, to wear a pantsuit. No regrets, she reminded herself. No regrets, ever.
Briefcase in hand, she left the restroom and stepped lightly up the stairs into the marble-floored reception area. A wholesome-looking young woman sat at the desk, and her eyes widened in surprise when she saw Tess.
“I have an appointment with the mayor,” Tess informed her. “Please tell him that Tess Cole is here.” She kept her voice firm and polite, no trailing questions at the end of her sentences. It was best to take charge up front.
“Um...yes, I’ll get him right away.” Her old wooden chair screeched on the marble floor as the young woman stood up. She clumped down a hallway to the right of the desk. Tess watched as the girl poked her head through the third doorway on the left, and then returned, self-consciously straightening the hem of her dress. “Go ahead, Ms. Cole,” she told Tess, and sat down at her desk again to shuffle papers.
Tess walked down the hall toward the open door of the mayor’s office. As she drew closer, she heard a deep, clear voice saying, “Gus, we have always closed down Main Street for the holiday parade.” Tess paused outside the door, annoyance creeping in. If he was expecting her, why was he on the phone? The voice was momentarily silent, as its owner, presumably Benson’s mayor, listened to someone on the other end of the line. “I would disagree,” the masculine voice continued. “I think the parade is good for business, and if I remember correctly, your shop is always packed on parade day. Are you sure this doesn’t have something to do with the fact that we asked Wyatt Silver to be the grand marshal this year?”
Gus?Wyatt Silver? These were names straight out of some old Western. What had she gotten herself into? She felt ridiculous standing in the hallway like this. He might be the mayor of the middle of nowhere, but courtesy was courtesy. Tess took a few quiet steps backward, cleared her throat and then stepped heavily, clicking her heels on the floor.
She heard the mayor say, “Gus, I’ll need to call you back,” just as she’d hoped. She knocked lightly and moved into the open doorway, plastering a confident smile on her face. Then she stopped, momentarily stunned.
The man sitting with cowboy-booted feet crossed on the desk was gorgeous. His light brown hair was cut short, almost military in style, and exposed his features, none of them perfect, but all together creating masculine beauty. Below his dark gray eyes was the outline of strong cheekbones, his skin clean-shaven and tanned. His nose was just slightly crooked, as if he’d broken it at some point.
Something about him looked familiar—she could swear she’d seen him before. Or did he just resemble a celebrity? Either way, she could think about it later. Right now she had to make a good first impression.
She stuck out her hand and strode toward the desk. “Mayor Jacobs, I’m Tess Cole, public relations consultant.” As he stood slowly and reached for her hand, she realized he was staring, the surprise on his face turning into a slow smile that creased the weathered lines at the corners of his intense eyes. In that instant he shook her hand, it was clear that he recognized her, too. But from where?
His hand was huge and enveloped hers—there was something familiar in that, as well. It could be just because Tess had a thing for big guys. And Mayor Jacobs was big. His six-foot-something frame towered over her five-eight. She was having a hard time not staring at his broad chest and his thick muscled arms under his sleeves. She’d never much cared for men in flannel and plaid, but Mayor Jacobs could probably change her mind about that.
What was wrong with her? She’d worked with all kinds of handsome men and always kept her cool. Maybe it was the way he was smiling so broadly now, his wide mouth open in a grin that revealed a single dimple in his cheek and even, white teeth.
“Why are you here?”
His abrupt question brought her back to earth—it was such a strange way to start a conversation. “I believe I explained that when I made this appointment? My firm is representing an alternative energy development company called Renewable Reliance.”
“I remember. But I meant, why are you here?”
Now she was totally confused. Did they speak a different language in Benson? What was this cowboy talking about? “I’m sorry... I’m not following...” She kept her voice neutral.
“You don’t remember me, do you?”
Tess froze. She was at a disadvantage. Something she absolutely hated. She scanned her brain for some situation where she might have met the mayor before. Then it hit her, and tension turned to relief. “Oh, yes! It was when Samantha married Jack, right?” The mayor looked puzzled, so she tried again. “Samantha Rylant? She married Jack Baron about six months ago. She’s a good friend and they live in Benson. We must have met at their wedding.”
The mayor gave a short laugh, studying her face with an expression of disbelief on his own. “I know them pretty well. But I was out of town for that happy occasion. I...” He paused as if catching himself. “I’m sorry, why don’t you have a seat.” He indicated the chair opposite his desk and she sat down reluctantly. He sat down as well, moving with surprising grace for such a big man. He leaned back and regarded her bemusedly over the vast mahogany expanse. “I guess I would have hoped our previous meeting was a little more memorable for you.”
Now she really was at a loss. “I’m really not...”
“Phoenix, Arizona? The Fairway Resort?”
She’d been there, as a guest speaker at a convention a couple years ago. “Oh, were you attending the PR conference?”
“No, I wasn’t.” He watched her carefully.
“Then where did we...” The realization hit her in the stomach and chest, and her heart started pounding. This couldn’t really be happening. Tess kept her work life and personal life separate—completely separate—until now. A one-night stand. She’d had a one-night stand with the mayor of Benson.
Recollections of that one night trickled in and she felt her face warm. Memories of his huge hands roaming her body, the way he’d felt surrounding her, inside of her. How had she not recognized him? She felt hot for the first time since she’d arrived in Benson. She was blushing—and she never blushed.
She tilted her chin up. No way was she letting him know she was this rattled. The smile she gave him was one she’d practiced for a long time—slow, confident and just a bit seductive. “You know, it is coming back to me now.”
“You left.” He steepled his fingers and looked at her over them. “You walked out before dawn. I never got your name.”
“It’s simpler that way.”
His expression darkened. “Simpler for you.”
Tess looked up at the old stamped-tin ceiling. If there was some kind of patron saint for sinners like her, she could really use some intervention right now. This was way too uncomfortable, and certainly not the first impression she’d hoped to make.
She stood. “Mayor Jacobs...”
“Slaid.” His eyes were deep and dark and troubled. “Or did you forget my name, too?”
She had. Though in her defense, they’d been drinking whiskey neat—a lot of it. She might not remember his name, but she remembered the headache she’d had when she’d crept out of his room after he’d fallen asleep. After the most amazing sex she’d ever had. The mayor of Benson might have been a one-night stand, but the raging chemistry between them had meant there’d been no boundaries, no embarrassment, just an insane heat. That night had haunted her, had become the standard by which she judged the men she slept with since. None of them had ever measured up. How had she not recognized him?
Her hands went to her burning cheeks. “Slaid, I apologize if my memory is faulty. It was a while ago.”
“Two years,” he said.
“Okay. Two years.” He obviously had a great memory, and Tess didn’t want to think about what else he might be remembering. “It’s very strange to meet you again in this way.”
“Yes,” he agreed. He was standing now as well, one hand fiddling with a pen he’d picked up, betraying that he, too, was uncomfortable.
This situation was a disaster. But there was a silver lining. This could be her ticket out of Benson. “I’ll tell you what. I’m going to call my boss and we’ll put a different consultant on this job, so it doesn’t have to be awkward for you. Okay?” She started backing away, wondering how she would explain this situation to Ed. By laying out the mortifying truth, probably. He wouldn’t replace her for any other reason. Her past relationship with Benson’s mayor would jeopardize their success here—that much was clear.
“No.” Slaid’s voice was firm.
“No?” Tess echoed. How could he not see how messy this would be?
“It’s not okay with me. Of course you can go, but be sure to mention to your boss that if he puts anyone else on this project, I won’t be cooperative.”
“But that makes no sense.” Tess was practically pleading. The last thing she wanted was to try to work with a man she’d slept with. A man who was making her feel so unsettled right now that she could barely think.
“It makes sense to me and I’m the mayor. Any PR consultant working for an energy firm will need a decent relationship with me to get their job done, and I don’t want a replacement. You’re the consultant I want to work with.”
Tess stared at him in horror and growing concern. “Why?”
His voice softened. “Don’t you ever think about that night?”
He wanted sex. How disappointingly predictable. Although somewhat tempting... She forced her voice to be steady and cool. “Just so you know, I don’t mix up my personal and professional lives. Ever.”
“Seems as though in this situation you already have.” His voice was soft but his jaw was set. He wasn’t backing down, that was clear.
“I’m not responsible for this bizarre coincidence, Mayor Jacobs.”
He didn’t answer, just raised an accusatory eyebrow. The jerk. It wasn’t as though she’d taken advantage of him. He’d been an extremely enthusiastic participant that night. “If you insist that I stay, it’s a hundred percent professional between us. Is that very clear?”
Mayor Slaid Jacobs laughed, but it was a bleak sound. “Clear as day. We’re adults. And if you’re here to discuss energy development, we’ll likely have a rocky road ahead. It won’t be a problem to keep things professional.”
“What do you mean, ‘a rocky road ahead’?” Tess was angry now. “This is exactly why we need to get someone else on this job, Mayor Jacobs. You don’t know anything about the project, yet you’re already making assumptions that we’ll be on opposite sides.”
“People constantly show up here trying to get their hands on our resources. In the eighteen hundreds the prospectors came for the gold. In the twentieth century Los Angeles took most of our water. Nowadays everyone’s after the minerals in our hills and the gas underneath. So what are you after?”
“You mean, what is Renewable Reliance interested in? They’re investigating wind-energy production in this area. And, as I’ve experienced since arriving in Benson, you definitely have enough wind.”
“Yes we do. And it’s not for sale.”
“You have no information. How can you say that?” This was ridiculous. Was he out for some kind of revenge?
“I don’t need information to imagine what a bunch of windmills will do to the economy of my town.”
She’d said she’d keep this professional and she would, no matter what. The key was to be patient. “I think if you keep an open mind, you’ll find that the wind project can benefit Benson in many ways.”
“Maybe.” But there was no maybe in his tone.
“I’m sorry, but it feels like you are making this personal,” she ventured.
“I’m the mayor and I’ve lived here all my life. Of course I take anyone trying to put a large energy project in our area a bit personally.” He paused, his voice more neutral when he spoke again. “Where is this company hoping to site these windmills?”
“East of town,” Tess replied. “But I don’t have the exact location yet. They promised to send me maps within the next couple days. As soon as I know, I’ll inform you, of course.”
“And I assume they’ll be providing environmental impact reports, a public comment period, et cetera?”
“Of course. My job is to present all the relevant information to the community.”
“And you’ll be in town for...”
“About a month, I think.”
“A month.” She watched his face for some clue as to how he felt about that. But his jaw was set, and it was hard to read more than stubbornness in his expression.
“Well, I look forward to hearing what you have to say, Tess.” There was a touch of sarcasm in his tone.
“I think you need to reconsider my offer to get a replacement.” Tess tried again. “Clearly you have a problem with me.”
“I don’t.” He didn’t elaborate, just glanced at the old clock hanging on the wall. Its ticking was suddenly loud in the silence between them. “Listen—” he looked frustrated, as if the confidence he’d been projecting was wavering a touch “—can I suggest we reschedule this meeting for tomorrow morning? Say nine-thirty? It will give us both a little time to regroup.”
Tess bit back the words that wanted to spill out—words containing all the arguments she’d been studying up on over the past few weeks. He was right about one thing. Now wasn’t the time to make them. She needed to step back, regain composure and strategize on how she would present the details of this project to him in the most positive light. “You’re right, Mayor Jacobs. I’m tired from the drive and I’m sure you have a lot to do.” She motioned vaguely to the stack of papers on his desk. “We’ll meet tomorrow morning. Perhaps by then you will have reconsidered your decision. I have some extremely competent colleagues who could take over for me.”
“Oh, no.” He sat back down in his chair and crossed his long legs with his boots up on the desk once more. “I choose you, Tess. So get used to it.”
She noticed how thick and muscular his thighs looked under his jeans, and instantly a searing memory of what they’d felt like in Phoenix surfaced. Muscles, ropey and taut, so big her hands had felt dwarfed as they moved along them.
Tess jerked her gaze from his legs and glared at his face instead. “I may have to stay here and work, but I don’t work for you. So please don’t tell me what to get used to.”
He raised his hands in mock defense. “Point taken.”
“Thank you.” There was nothing more to say. Tess turned and walked sharply out of his office. Her shoulders ached, muscles taut as if already gearing up for the fight ahead. Her stilettos hit heavily on the marble floor, the sound echoing in the empty hall. She wondered what Slaid was thinking as he listened to her walk away.
CHAPTER TWO (#u380284bf-04aa-5453-9218-1fef4bd3b11f)
THE SUITCASE SLIPPED out of her hand and landed on her foot. Tess gasped, tears welling in her eyes. She was not going to cry. No matter what life threw at her—and it had thrown a lot worse than a resentful mayor and a painful suitcase—she never gave it the satisfaction of her tears. She waited for the pain to pass, pushing it away until it subsided into a minor, throbbing inconvenience. Slamming the hatchback of her rental Jeep, she studied the house Samantha had found for her to rent. It was three blocks off Benson’s main street, putting it right on the edge of town.
When she’d been a kid, growing up in the despair of public housing and the chaos of foster homes, Tess had dreamed of living in a house like this—a classic, clapboard, turn-of-the-century cottage with a white picket fence. She’d never have dared to hope, back then, that her dreams would come true. An odd lump formed in her throat as she stared at the evidence to the contrary. Though nowadays, a country cottage wasn’t really her style.
“Tess!” Her name was accompanied by the roar of an engine and Samantha pulled up to the curb, looking surprisingly at home at the wheel of a huge silver SUV. Her friend cut the engine and tumbled out to fling her arms around Tess. “I’m so glad you’re here!”
“Look at you in your mom-mobile! You are the cutest pregnant lady ever, Sam!” Tess tried to hug Samantha back but it was hard to get close enough with a baby bump between them. Her friend was in the third trimester, and on her tiny frame, her pregnancy was really showing. “This isn’t working!” Tess pulled back laughing and put one arm around Samantha’s shoulders instead. She’d missed this closeness. For the first time since she’d arrived in Benson she felt a glimmer of hope. At least she’d have a chance to reconnect with her friend. “How’d the meeting with the mayor go?” Samantha asked.
Tess had no idea how to answer that. “Fine,” she lied. Samantha picked up one of her suitcases, but Tess grabbed it back. “You are pregnant! I’ve got the bags.”
Samantha sighed and opened the rickety gate. “It’s so weird to have everyone trying to look after me.”
“Get used to it. You’ve got a couple more months to go.” Tess yanked her unwieldy suitcase roughly over the flagstone path.
“You know what else is weird and kind of terrifying?” Samantha asked as she pulled out a key for the door. “Trying to choose a house for you. You live in a beautiful, modern apartment with a view of the entire city! There’s nothing like that out here.”
“I’m sure it’s great,” Tess reassured her.
She was lying again. Nothing was going to be great for her in Benson, especially with her and Slaid’s history getting in the way, but that wasn’t Samantha’s problem.
“I think you’ll like it, though I still wish you’d stay with us. We have our house, and we have my grandmother’s old farmhouse furnished and ready.”
Tess felt a pang of guilt. “That’s so kind of you, but I think if I stay in town it will be easier to make contacts in the community.” She didn’t want to hurt her friend’s feelings, but the last thing Tess wanted was to stay in Samantha’s house, or anywhere on Samantha’s ranch, where life revolved around her friend’s pregnancy. She wished her memories didn’t hurt so much, but they did. “Besides, aren’t you turning Grandma Ruth’s house into a bed-and-breakfast? You don’t need me getting in the way while you’re working on it.”
Samantha smiled sheepishly. “I don’t know... Maybe I’m too sentimental... I can’t seem to change anything about it. So for now it’s my office and a guesthouse. Perfect for friends...like you!”
Tess realized her excuses weren’t satisfying her friend, and there was no way she could tell Samantha the real reason. Because despite a decade of friendship, Tess had never explained that she’d had a baby—or that she’d placed it with an adoptive family. Or that she’d never been able to forget those few moments she’d held her son, and the complete devastation she’d felt saying goodbye to him. There were a lot of things she’d never told anyone, and it was way too late to start now. So she shrugged and plastered a smile on her face. “Unfortunately, my friend, I am here to work, and being near you would be too tempting. I’d want to hang around your gorgeous ranch and gossip all day.”
That seemed to appease Samantha. She pushed open the front door, revealing a small entryway, the whitewashed wood panels punctuated by a line of iron coat hooks. “Welcome home, then,” she said with a tentative smile.
Inside, Tess left her bags by the door and followed Samantha on a tour of the cottage. Her friend had been careful in her choice, and it showed. The old plank floors were polished and the walls were a clean white. The tall windows and high ceilings let sunlight flood the rooms. It was soothing. There was a front bedroom that had been turned into an office, and Tess appreciated the old scarred pine table that served as a desk—there was a lot of space to spread out and work.
The shabby-chic decor was the exact opposite of the sleek modern pieces Tess had chosen at home, but she had to admit that it perfectly suited this place. There was a cozy kitchen with a giant gas stove and a comfortable living room with overstuffed armchairs in front of a fireplace. The tiny bedroom was dominated by a scrolled iron bed frame. Tess noted with relief that two extra duvets were stacked on top. She would need them for the cold fall weather out here.
“Tea?” Samantha walked down the tiny hallway toward the kitchen.
After her meeting with the mayor, Tess would have preferred a brandy. “Sure,” she answered, and hauled her suitcases into the bedroom. She sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, pulling the pins from her hair, letting it fall around her face. She took a deep breath and exhaled. Her heart hadn’t slowed down since she left the mayor’s office and her mind was whirling, asking the same question over and over. How was it possible that she’d slept with the mayor of Benson?
She heaved herself up and walked into the kitchen on leaden legs, gratefully accepting the steaming tea Samantha handed her. Its warmth was somewhat comforting. There was a small table by the back window of the kitchen, and Samantha lowered herself carefully onto one of the chairs. Tess sat down opposite her because that was what was expected. And if she just did what was expected, then she wouldn’t do what she really wanted, which was to call Ed and threaten to quit if he didn’t let her go home.
She looked out the window. On this side of the house, they had a view of the rear garden with its small flagstone patio. There was a fire pit in the center of it surrounded by a few old, wooden Adirondack chairs painted in festive colors. It was a cheery scene until she looked beyond the picket fence, where there was only high desert. The dry ground was speckled with scrubby bushes until the hills got high enough to be speckled in granite. Then they sloped abruptly and turned into mountains.
“This is a great spot!” Samantha enthused.
“It’s beautiful.” Beautiful in a rugged, formidable way that made Tess want to jump in her car and race home. “I appreciate all of your help. The house is perfect.”
“You’ll be able to sit here and see all kinds of animals—jackrabbits, deer. And that fire pit will be a lovely place to sit at night and watch the stars.”
The enthusiasm in Samantha’s tone left Tess bewildered. Lonely contemplation had to be one of her least favorite activities. She looked at her friend instead of the window—there was way too much open space out there, too much quiet. “I’m not much of a stargazer.”
“Maybe you’ll become one now. Just wait until it gets dark. You’ll be amazed at how clear the sky is here in the fall.”
Tess made a mental note to stay inside and close the curtains at dusk. Time to change the subject. “How are you feeling anyway?” she asked Samantha, knowing she should.
“Hungry. And sleepy. I just want to nap, then sleep, then nap some more.”
“Of course.” Tess remembered her pregnancy, how her body had craved sleep so badly there were days she couldn’t keep her eyes open. Her uneasiness morphed into full-blown anxiety. The long drive today, with so much wilderness all around, had cracked open the closed doors of her mind, the ones that usually kept memories like this at bay.
“So what did you think of our mayor?” Samantha asked.
Her meeting with Slaid was another life event she’d like to shove behind a closed door. “He seems nice enough.” She tried her best to sound disinterested. “But I couldn’t really tell—we only met for a few minutes. What’s he like?”
“Well, handsome, for one thing. But you’re probably already aware of that.”
Oh, boy, was she ever. She could instantly picture what he’d looked like in that hotel room in Phoenix, skin bronzed over the toned muscles of his abs, his thick erection pressing against her thigh as he leaned on one elbow, trailing a hand across her breasts.
“Tess!” Samantha’s laugh brought her out of her reverie. “Where did you go? He must have made quite an impression!”
Her face got hot.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you blush! What’s going on?” Samantha’s extraordinary green eyes were wide and full of confusion.
Tess couldn’t look at her friend and confess at the same time, so she looked out at the intimidating view instead. “I slept with the mayor.” It was a relief to just say it.
“What?” Samantha gasped. “Today?”
“Not today! I’m not that crazy.” She looked back at her friend and had to laugh at the arched brows. “Okay, maybe I am that crazy sometimes. But it was about two years ago. On a business trip to Phoenix.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Unfortunately not,” Tess said weakly.
“And let me guess. You did the Tess Cole tiptoe of shame.”
Tess laughed at her friend’s skewering look. “Yes, of course. But it’s not shame—it’s practicality. I don’t want to get involved, and neither do they, so it’s best just to get out of there before anyone has to make any awkward, meaningless, morning-after conversation.”
Samantha sighed. “And how did it go, then, when the mayor discovered who you were?”
“Not well,” Tess admitted. “It didn’t help that it took me a while to recognize him. He seemed kind of upset.”
“Yes.” Samantha nodded, and Tess glanced over. Her friend was staring out the window now, with a slightly sad expression on her face. “I imagine he was.”
“What is it?”
Samantha looked at her, biting her lower lip as if considering how to answer.
“Please tell me, Sam. I’m in a mess here.”
“Slaid’s a great guy. A really good mayor and very well liked around here.” Samantha paused.
“But?” Tess prompted.
“He’s sort of a model citizen. His father was mayor, and his grandfather...and he was a big high school football star. He goes to church every Sunday. And even though he keeps really busy with his own ranch and running our town, he always seems to have time for whoever needs him...” Her voice trailed off.
“So you’re saying...”
“I don’t see him as the one-night-stand kind of guy.”
“Yeah, I kind of got that impression today.” Tess sighed.
“There’s more,” Samantha said. “Personally, he’s had a rough time of it. A couple years ago, his wife left him and their son. She moved away and hasn’t been back. It was hard on Slaid, and his son has had a tough time, too. Lately it seems as if they’ve both been doing a lot better. As if they’re healing.”
Tess looked back at the view over the desolate plains and the mountains beyond, putting the pieces of Slaid’s history together. She’d met him two years ago. Obviously, Mr. Perfect had had a bad moment after his wife left him and slept with a strange woman in Phoenix. That would be her. Tess. Who had then walked out on him and made him feel even worse. “I don’t know how I’m going to work with him,” she confessed.
“So the meeting really didn’t go well,” Samantha clarified.
“No.”
“Tess,” Samantha said quietly, and put a soft hand on her arm. “I hate to suggest it, or even think about it because I want you here in Benson, but professionally, the right thing to do might be to excuse yourself from this project.”
“I tried!” Tess sat up straighter as the confusion of their meeting returned. “I told him right away that I would get someone else to take over for me and he said no! And when I insisted, he told me he’d...” She thought of Slaid’s gilded reputation in this town. She couldn’t share the threat he’d made in such a bad moment. She owed him that much. “Well, he just insisted that I stay on. He doesn’t want anyone else on the project. It makes no sense. Shouldn’t he want me to go? I could ruin his reputation if I told people about Phoenix!”
Her friend didn’t answer for a moment and they just sat, leaning on their elbows, staring at each other. Finally Samantha spoke. “That’s just weird.”
And there it was, summed up perfectly. Tess was surprised by her own laughter. “It is! Do you think he wants to keep me here just to torture me?”
“Maybe it’s a case of the devil you know,” Samantha said. “Maybe he’s nervous about having a consultant around and he figures that at least he knows you.”
“But he doesn’t!” Tess said. “Not at all... Well, only in a naked and sweaty kind of way, but other than that, we’re strangers!”
“A naked and sweaty kind of way...” Samantha giggled. “Tess, you are the only person I know who would end up in this predicament. It could be a sign that it’s time to mend your wild ways.”
“To be honest, my ways have been a lot less wild the past couple of years,” Tess confided. “It all gets kind of boring after a while.”
“Boring?” Samantha repeated. “You have definitely been sleeping with the wrong men. Perhaps it’s time for something new. Like getting to know the guys first for a change.”
“That is far too much work,” Tess countered. “No, I’m pretty sure vibrators were invented for people like me. They don’t ask for much, just a few new batteries every now and then.”
“Tess!” Samantha exclaimed in shock. And then the laughter started again and Tess put her head down on the table, resting it on her folded arms, laughing until her hands were wet with tears. When she looked up, Samantha was wiping her own eyes and grinning at her. Tess suddenly felt a deep gratitude. Even if Mayor Slaid Jacobs came to his senses and ran her out of town tomorrow, she was glad she got to have this laugh with her friend today. She hadn’t realized just how much she’d missed her.
“So how was that night with the mayor two years ago, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“Incredible.” Tess sighed, remembering how much she’d wanted him then. How much she could still want him now if she let herself. “Truly amazing.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Just try to pretend it never happened, I guess. And keep out of his way whenever possible. Hopefully he’ll realize how much better it would be to have someone else on this job.”
“I know you’d like to get back to the city,” Samantha said softly, “but I kind of hope you stay.”
“You know I could never move out here like you did.”
The teasing light was back in her friend’s eyes. “Never say never. This place has a way of growing on you. Stay too long and it might even get under your skin.”
Tess glanced back out the window, at the vast mountains filling the horizon, and the enormous empty sky graying with the dusk. She shivered. It wouldn’t grow on her. She’d be lucky if she survived a month of all this cold solitude and silence.
* * *
SLAID SAT DOWN heavily on the rock and twisted the top off his beer. The cold bitterness was exactly what he needed after his visit from Tess today. He looked up at the nearby peaks, noticing the way the setting sun lit up the granite. Something he’d seen almost every day of his life, yet had never taken for granted.
He liked this rock. His son called it The Thinking Rock because Slaid had come out here a lot after Jeannette had left them, to brood and try to figure out where it had all gone wrong. Now that Devin was a teenager, they came up here together for the occasional heart-to-heart.
It was up on the edge of their property, where the hills started to give way to the mountains, and it had a good view. He could see his house in miniature below—a low rancher his father had built in classic ’50s style. It wasn’t picturesque like some of the old farmhouses in the area, but big glass doors gave way to all kinds of patios and he liked that mix of inside and out. He never felt removed from the land he loved.
A motion beyond the house caught his eye. Devin was leading Orlando out of the barn. His son tied the horse to a fence and started brushing the gelding’s smooth gray coat. Slaid knew he should be the one doing that task. Devin had plenty of his own chores to finish and then homework to start. It was just one example of how Tess Cole was already throwing him off his game.
Tess. The name suited her. Sleek and strong, just like the woman. He’d wondered about her name for the past two years. Wondered, sometimes, if there was any way to find her.
And now she was here, in Benson, more beautiful than he’d remembered and more unsettling than he could have imagined. Seeing her long, thick, blond hair wound up in that tidy bun today made him remember how it had curtained them as she’d straddled him on the bed, kissing him as if she was ravenous. Her curves in that sexy business suit reminded him of how her breasts had filled his hands, how her hips had moved when she’d ridden him.
“Hell.” He said it aloud, and the sound evaporated into the empty sky. He took another gulp of beer and felt a twinge of regret when he realized it was almost empty. He probably should have stashed a few more bottles in his pockets before he left the house. If he were a less-responsible guy he would have gone for it. But he was very responsible, usually. Just not that night in Phoenix.
That night he’d been lonely, recently dumped, and just drunk enough to step out of the confines of his normal behavior and proposition the unbelievably sexy woman draped on the bar stool next to him. For one night he hadn’t been the guy whose wife had walked out on him, or the dad whose kid was tearing up the town with his seemingly infinite reserves of anger. For one night he hadn’t been the dutiful son, responsible for the hopes and dreams of the generations of ranchers who’d left him their legacy. He’d just been an anonymous man, making love to an anonymous woman in an anonymous hotel room, and it had been the hottest night of his life.
But she wasn’t anonymous anymore.
What he’d done in their meeting earlier came back to him garnished with a twist of guilt. He’d pressured her to stay—hell, he’d made her stay.
Maybe he’d done it out of anger. It confounded him that she didn’t remember him. How was it possible that one night could mean so much to one person and so little to another? He’d thought about her countless times, and she’d walked into his office today with no clue who he was. She’d looked at him as if he was a total stranger while she was etched so clearly in his memory. Well, she’d remember him now, all right. Not for their night together—apparently that had been totally forgettable—but for the way he’d been an asshole and had selfishly pressured her to stay in Benson.
And then it hit him. He didn’t hold all the cards here. She could chat to whomever she wanted about their one-night stand. And it could certainly change his life if she did. He wondered what his constituents would think if they knew what he’d done in Phoenix with Tess—and how much he’d enjoyed it.
The good people of Benson had elected him mayor almost unanimously. And why not? He was a pretty upstanding kind of guy. A high school football hero, college scholarship kid. Head of the Cattlemen’s Association, a city council member and now, mayor of the town. People thought of him as an up-front, what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of guy. And he was—except for that one night.
He should have agreed when she’d offered to leave town. It would have ensured that his reputation was never tarnished. Because it wasn’t just his reputation he had to worry about. Being a leader in Benson was family tradition. His grandfather and his dad had both been mayor, and his great-grandfather had pretty much founded the town.
Maybe he owed his ancestors an apology because he hadn’t been able to let her go. In some bizarre miracle, after two years as a ghost in his fantasies, she was here in Benson. And that had to mean something.
The problem was, he had no idea how he was going to handle having her in town. He’d promised her it would be easy to keep things professional, but he’d pretended a confidence he didn’t have. All the attraction he’d felt that night in Phoenix was still there, sharpening his senses the moment she’d walked into his office, making him hyperaware of every one of her movements, every seductive curve under that power suit she wore.
Which made the reason she was here even worse. Windmills. Looking out to the plains beyond his ranch, he tried to imagine them speckled with huge, white turbines and instantly all the wild emptiness was domesticated and destroyed. It was awful enough to imagine—he couldn’t allow it to happen.
Slaid drained the bottle and stuck it back in his pocket, taking one last look at the view. There was dinner to cook, dishes to clean, homework to help with and a few rounds of a video game to play before Devin went to bed. Then he needed to rewrite the agenda for next week’s city council meeting to make sure the wind farm was on it—there’d be a lot to discuss.
It would be a busy night, but he kind of liked it that way. Staying busy kept him from thinking too much. He’d learned that trick after Jeannette had left Benson, and it seemed as though he would need it again now that Tess Cole had arrived.
CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_d08d1f86-85c1-5520-8e97-67c08b96cc5b)
TESS WASN’T PREPARED for a Jeep that looked like an ice sculpture. With a pang of longing, she pictured her underground parking space in San Francisco, where even on the rare frosty morning she never had to worry about a frozen car. Reluctantly she opened her wallet and stared at her rainbow assortment of credit cards, wondering which one she could sacrifice as an ice scraper. The Saks Fifth Avenue card was nice and thick and would work the best, but she didn’t want to risk ruining it. Same with Bloomingdale’s. And there was no way she’d sacrifice Nordstrom—their annual shoe sale was coming up.
She finally settled for Talbots and started scraping at the frosted windshield. The ice came off in a spray coating her bare skin. “Ow!” she exclaimed and pulled her hand away abruptly, shaking it to try to get the frost off and the heat back in.
“Don’t tell me you didn’t bring gloves?” The deep voice had her whirling to confront the mayor. He looked warm and comfortable, his thick parka advertising the fact that he was prepared for the weather. The battered leather cowboy hat on his head was one more reminder that she’d left San Francisco far behind.
“It’s probably seventy degrees at home today,” she said by way of an answer.
“It’s seventy degrees in San Francisco most days. Didn’t you check the weather report before you drove out here?”
She hadn’t. She’d been in denial until she’d pulled into town yesterday. Despite all the arguments with Ed and the cramming she’d done to understand wind power, she’d ignored the fact that she’d be living in this tiny town in the middle of nowhere for the next month or so. Tess could safely say that denial was one of her strongest abilities.
But now there was no denying two things: she was totally unprepared for the weather in Benson, and Slaid Jacobs was one of the most attractive men she’d ever laid eyes on. The navy blue of his parka somehow made his gray eyes even more vibrant, and his broad shoulders filled out the jacket well. He’d tucked his dark denim jeans into brown suede work boots, laced up casually over the cuffs. He was perfectly at home in the cold, in comparison to her shivering self.
She wouldn’t be here shivering if he was chivalrous. If he hadn’t insisted that she stay in town. He might be good-looking, but right now she kind of hated him.
If he noticed, he gave no sign. “Tess, an idea. We’ve got a shop here that sells all kinds of outdoor gear. Let’s leave the car and walk over there. We can have our meeting as we go and you can get set up with the right clothing. You can’t survive out here in that thin wool coat.”
His voice was smooth and rich, like coffee. Like the espresso she couldn’t have this morning because she was stuck in Benson.
“Is this your idea of a peace offering?”
He gave that slow, widening smile she’d noticed right away when she’d first seen him at the bar in Phoenix. It had done things to her then and it was having the same effect now. “Maybe it is. I don’t know you too well, but you seem like someone who might like to shop. Plus, you look really cold.”
Tess glanced down at her beloved gray Burberry, with the nipped-in waist and shiny black buttons, and sighed. The last thing she wanted was a shopping trip with Slaid, or a parka like his, but he was right about one thing—she was freezing. “Fine,” she agreed. “Lead the way.”
He held out his hand, and to her horror she almost took it. Slaid jerked his hand back before she could and shoved it in his pocket, obviously embarrassed, too. This was ridiculous. How were they supposed to work together?
She stumbled along next to him, her brain a chaotic mélange of feeling. Anger that he’d pressured her to stay in Benson, horror that her past had come back to haunt her and her natural appreciation of a gorgeous guy. Memories of what had happened between them that night in Phoenix scrambled her thoughts further. The images and sensations showed up like random jolts of electricity, leaving her nerve endings sizzling and frayed.
If she could just turn off those memories and focus on work and only work, she might be able to think coherently.
She tried to keep up with his long strides in her stiletto boots and keep an eye on the sidewalk, stepping over anything that looked like ice. She could endure a lot, but falling in front of Slaid might be her breaking point.
She didn’t know what to do, so she did what she was best at. She went into business mode. “So thank you for taking his meeting with me...again. As I told you yesterday, I’m in town because I work for a public relations firm that has been hired by Renewable Reliance.”
“Yes, the wind project,” he said, his voice as dry as the desert. “I remember.”
She plowed on. “I’m in charge of community relations.”
“Well, you’re off to a great start. Considering that you’ve already had relations with the town mayor.”
Tess stopped abruptly as the initial hurt turned to fury. “Is this how you’re going to handle this? Did you want me to stay so you can be self-righteous and hold that night over my head? Because I seem to remember that I wasn’t alone in that hotel room. In fact, you invited me back to your room.”
Slaid stared at the ground, and they walked a few steps in awkward silence. Then he broke it. “I was rude. It was a stupid thing to say. We agreed to keep things professional and I dropped the ball. It won’t happen again.”
She was momentarily disarmed by his apology. “Well, it was a fumble, but maybe you can recover.”
He looked at her in surprise. “You know football?”
She needed a cordial relationship with him to make any progress with the community, which is how she justified her little white lie. “Sure. Some. I’m a San Franciscan. We love our Forty-Niners.”
“So much that you ran ’em out of town.”
Tess stared at him a moment, racking her brain for what she knew about the football team—something to explain his comment. A lightbulb lit in some dim corner of her mind. San Franciscans hadn’t been able to agree on replacing foggy and crumbling Candlestick Park, and a neighboring city had happily jumped in to build the football team a new stadium. She gave a little laugh of relief. “Oh, yes. They’re the Santa Clara Forty-Niners now. It doesn’t have quite the same ring.”
“But they’re keeping their old name, right?”
“Oh, right. Of course.” She was the one fumbling here. Hoping he’d attribute her red cheeks to the wind, she switched back to the topic she actually knew something about. “About the windmills— My job will be to interface with the community and make sure you, and the people of Benson, have up-to-date information about the project. I’ll be responsible for presenting the environmental impact reports and creating opportunities for public input.”
“And if I tell you that the only input the people of Benson will give you is a resounding no?”
“Then my job is to tell you that you’re putting the cart in front of the horse. Renewable Reliance has a right to perform this exploratory process. They’ve already been granted the necessary permits from the Bureau of Land Management. And there will be plenty of opportunities for you and the citizens here to weigh in.”
“But personally, you think this project is bogus.”
“There is no personally. I’m here to do my job—to present information about the project to the public. I don’t weigh in on the projects I represent.”
“But, I take it, the information you present will be your client’s side of the story.”
“Of course. But it will be a true story. Just the facts.”
“Facts can be bent.”
“By everyone involved,” she argued, “including you.” She wanted to kick herself as soon as she said it. What was it about Slaid that made her lose her cool? She should be buttering him up right now, making him and his town feel special, lucky to be chosen as the site of a wind farm. Instead she was trading insult for insult.
They’d reached the door for Benson Wilderness Outfitters, and Slaid grasped the handle and pulled it open for her, but his expression was far from chivalrous. “I don’t bend facts,” he said.
“Well, neither do I.” He waited and she waited, hands on her hips. Finally a slight smile of dawning understanding curved one corner of his full mouth. “You’re not going to let me open this door for you, are you?”
“You go ahead,” she answered. “I can get my own doors.” She didn’t want his bogus chivalry, but if he waited any longer she’d have to give in. She was rapidly going numb, and she craved the warmth she knew would be inside the shop.
“Stubborn much?”
“It’s considered an asset in my field.”
“I’ll bet.” Slaid went in first, letting the door swing shut behind him. Tess grabbed the handle and jerked it open again, relieved to feel the warm air on her frozen face.
Slaid walked partway across the shop, then turned to face her. “So you’re pretty good at your job? That’s why they sent you out here?”
“That’s what my boss told me, but I think he was just desperate to get someone out here to this godforsaken place.”
“Oh, no, not godforsaken.” Slaid’s smile was suddenly gentle. “Spend some time out here in these hills and mountains, and you’ll know we’re right in the heart of God’s country.”
“I may have to pass on that opportunity, Mr. Mayor. Trekking the great outdoors is not my style. Plus, I doubt that God would welcome a poor sinner like me strolling around his chosen land.”
Slaid laughed and pointed to a wall of outdoorsy-looking boots, similar to his own. “Why don’t you get some more practical shoes anyway, just in case God’s a little more welcoming than you give him credit for?”
Despite all the tension between them, Tess had to laugh at that. She went over to study the boots, wondering which ones were the least ugly. This was strange. She’d never had a business meeting that involved shopping before. And she’d never have guessed Slaid would be so helpful. He quickly pointed out the most feminine and classy looking of all the hiking boots on the wall, and also found her some wool socks to try them on with. Then he came back with another pair of boots for wearing around town—knee-high black leather with a sturdy rubber sole and low heel. The kind of boots a lot of women were wearing to stride around San Francisco these days, though so far Tess had passed on the trend. But once she slid them on over the wool socks, she knew her style was going to change, at least for now. They were comfortable and, more important, warm.
Then Slaid wandered over with a knee-length down coat in a rich, dark teal blue with fake fur lining a generous hood. Tess slid it on and was pleased to see that it was actually cut in a feminine line, not too thick and bulky. He handed her a sweet, matching teal wool hat and another one in black. He had her choose two kinds of gloves—black fleece for everyday and another pair, more like ski gloves, for when it snowed. Tess hoped she’d be long gone from Benson before that happened. After a couple of turtleneck sweaters were added to the pile, Tess stared at Slaid in awe. “You are a way better shopper than most of my girlfriends!”
He grinned. “I have a teenage son. I’m used to shopping quickly, before he gets too mopey.”
She kept forgetting he had a son. Of course she did. She knew almost nothing about Slaid, except what Samantha had told her and what he looked like naked...and wanting. Tess quickly pushed that image from her mind, but not before it heated her face. She turned to a rack of scarves and studied them intently.
“How about that eggplant color,” Slaid suggested. “Or the dark blue, to match your eyes. They really are so blue they’re almost purple, aren’t they?”
“The eggplant might go best with the teal coat.”
He picked up the scarf and gently wrapped it around her neck. His fingers brushed the skin there and she shivered, fighting the sudden urge to lean into them. “Yep. Your eyes are almost purple.”
She looked up then. His expression had grown serious, his voice soft. “You’re even more beautiful than I remembered.” He was so close she could kiss him if she just leaned forward a few inches.
“And that is totally inappropriate,” she reminded him, and herself, pulling away abruptly. But some strange fragment of her heart fluttered at his words. And she realized that by never sticking around to get to know the men she slept with, she’d missed out on little compliments like this. And another thought flickered. What else had she missed out on? She turned away and went to the front of the store, loading her items on the counter.
The clerk was on a ladder, hanging up climbing ropes on a high rack near the door. Slaid wandered up next to her and called, “Harris, this is Tess Cole. She’s in town for a while and needed some warmer clothes.”
Harris turned and grinned. “Hey, Slaid.” The man climbed down and surveyed the pile of clothes. “Gotta make sure you’re layered up for the mountains. You be careful out here, Tess. The weather can change on a dime, and you can count on some pretty cold nights this time of year.”
“It’s hard to believe I’m just a day’s drive from San Francisco.”
“A day’s drive but a world away.” Harris smiled as he loaded the clothes into a big paper bag.
“You’re not kidding.” Tess handed him her credit card, feeling hollow at his words. A world away and not the world she wanted to be in.
She sighed, unbuttoning her beloved wool coat and folding it carefully for Harris to put in the shopping bag. She slid her arms into the new parka, vowing to smack Slaid if he tried to help her into it, and ignoring the tiny twinge of disappointment that winged through her when he didn’t. Zipped into the fluffy down, she was incredibly cozy, but all that puffiness felt a bit like she was wearing a spacesuit—as if she needed another reminder that she was in an alien environment.
But as soon as she stepped outside she was grateful for the down barrier between her and that crisp cold. They started along Main Street, back toward Tess’s little cottage.
“I’m a little apprehensive to continue our meeting,” Slaid said. “It seems as though when I’m around you, my foot goes in my mouth and I say the wrong thing. I’m sorry.”
“Let just focus on work,” Tess said. “Let’s forget about that night two years ago. It doesn’t matter, it’s irrelevant.”
“Right.” Slaid nodded, but he gave her a slightly quizzical look. “Completely irrelevant.”
“Yes.” She hoped she could follow her own advice. His moments of kindness and humor had her a little worried, too. She couldn’t afford any complications. Succeeding at this job required all her focus. And she could already tell that Slaid had the ability to make things a lot blurrier.
“So—” Slaid slowed his stride to match hers “—to sum up our meeting, strictly business now, Renewable Reliance wants to put a wind farm here. And you get to be their spokesperson. What happens next?”
“I’ll get all the informational materials together,” she answered. “Make some pamphlets, translate the environmental impact report into clear talking points and make a video that we’ll have available for people to download or watch at the library.”
“All in a month?”
“If I’m lucky. I think a month of exile in Benson is all I can handle.”
Slaid laughed. “Is that how you think of this? Exile?”
“Pretty much,” she answered, glancing at him. When he really laughed it was low and deep, as if he was truly enjoying himself.
“You know,” he said, his eyes still crinkled with humor. “A lot of people would consider you in paradise, not exile. We get tons of tourists out here to hike, mountain bike, camp, fish, rock climb, horseback ride...”
“None of which I have the slightest interest in.”
“What are you interested in?”
Tess opened her mouth to answer and shut it abruptly. She thought quickly, mentally trying to pick apart her life in San Francisco. “Work, mostly. I shop. Go to the gym. Spend some time with friends.” She suddenly wished she’d made time to take up a hobby.
“Huh.” That was all he said—but it said a lot. When she looked at her answer from Slaid’s point of view, her life, which she always tried hard to portray as glamorous and fascinating, actually seemed pretty boring.
Then he spoke. “How about you try a few of those things I mentioned while you’re here?”
“You mean fishing? Hiking?”
“Why not? If your boss sent you out to live in the middle of nowhere, why not use a little of the time to try something different? I’d be happy to show you around, strictly as professional colleagues, of course. Maybe I could teach you a few new skills.”
She flushed at his choice of words. He actually had taught her a few things during their night together. She was pretty sure she’d taught him a few, as well.
“Not like that.” How had he read her mind? “Not to be crude, but I don’t think you need much tutoring in that area.”
Heat flooded her veins and lit up every nerve. “Slaid, I think it’s best that we agree not to talk about that topic. We need to pretend that Phoenix never happened.”
“Maybe.” There was a pause and she glanced at his profile as they walked, trying to read what that maybe meant. He didn’t elaborate.
“I’m here to work,” she reminded him. “I have to be professional or I could compromise my credibility. And I’d hate to do anything to damage your image as mayor.”
“And how might you do that?” He was looking down at her with a half smile. “You don’t really strike me as the kiss-and-tell type. More like kiss and leave.”
“Trust me, Mayor Jacobs. I was doing you a favor by stepping quietly out of your life—I won’t apologize for that. And I told you yesterday, if you insist I stay on this project, I will, but that’s the only thing I’m here for.”
“Work isn’t everything, Tess. And if you get to know the area, you might think twice about destroying it.”
So that was his motivation. She shouldn’t care, but for a moment she’d thought he really wanted to spend more time with her. And even if it was out of the question, it had been an enticing thought. “I don’t know how else to explain it to you. I represent this project, but it’s not mine. I have nothing to do with it and I’m not destroying anything—I’m simply here to interface with the public.”
“But you just agreed that the project will destroy the area.”
Tess wasn’t sure if it was humor or malice that she saw in his eyes. “I agreed to no such thing! Stop trying to box me into a corner or make me feel guilty. I’m here to do my job and I intend to do it well. I assume you’ll do your job to the best of your abilities, also. Just two civilized adults doing what we’re being paid to do.” They’d reached the gate in her picket fence. “I appreciate your time this morning, Slaid. I’ll keep you informed as the project progresses. And thank you for the shopping trip.”
“Are you warmer now?” he asked, and there was a softness in his voice that surprised her.
“Yes. Not my usual attire for the office, but it will have to do.”
He looked her up and down. She could almost feel his gaze under her layers of warm clothing.
“I think it’s an improvement. They have business casual clothing, why not business country? Business wilderness?”
“I’ll ask my boss about it.” She couldn’t stand there with him any longer. Not with the strange wanting, that couldn’t, shouldn’t be rushing through her.
“Goodbye,” she told him, and fled past the gate and through her front door, shutting it gratefully against the chill of the air and the heat that was Slaid. Maybe she was a coward, but she was ready to hide out in the temperate climate of her little cabin.
CHAPTER FOUR (#ulink_6c7bf172-6a6d-50d5-962c-75a6a95bec8b)
TESS SAVORED THE rich taste of her cappuccino as it rolled across her tongue. After five days in Benson she’d fled to Samantha and Jack’s house this morning and begged for espresso. She’d been as desperate for her fix as any addict. She swallowed blissfully and leaned back in her chair in Samantha’s sunny kitchen. “Slaid deiced my car.”
Samantha stopped stirring her coffee. “When?”
“Every single morning this week. I don’t know when he does it because I never see him, but every morning someone has scraped the ice off my car. It has to be him!”
“Well, he is known for keeping early office hours,” Samantha said. “Maybe he’s doing it after dropping off Devin, his son, at school.”
“He’s making it hard to stay mad at him.”
“I know you didn’t appreciate him pressuring you to stay here. But can’t you see that it’s a little sexy, too? Maybe the guy is really happy that you’re in town.”
“But why?” Tess asked. “We’ve met twice since I arrived and all we did was argue! He thinks I’m an evil developer and wilderness destroyer and I think he’s close minded and full of himself.”
“They say there’s a thin line between love and hate.” Samantha’s smile was so obviously hopeful that Tess laughed.
“We are not talking about love here! Quite the opposite.”
“Okay, lust, then. Lust isn’t logical. And admit it, you’ve thought about him over the past couple years, haven’t you?”
“Once in a while.” A lot. Way too often.
“Maybe you should just go out with him,” Samantha suggested tentatively.
“Like on a date?” Tess repressed a shudder.
“Yes, a date. Like regular people do.”
“Honey, I am not regular people when it comes to that stuff. I can’t stand it.”
“Even when there are perks like not having to scrape the ice off your car?” Samantha raised an eyebrow.
“Well, that is the one temptation.”
“Now I know you’re lying. He’s a temptation. Half the women in this town are in love with the guy! Just his shoulders alone melt knees. In the summer they did a dunk tank for charity and he was in it and I don’t think the female population talked about anything but his abs for months afterward.”
“Okay, fine,” Tess admitted. “Two temptations—he deices my car and he’s good-looking. But it’s irrelevant. I’m here for work, and even if I liked him, which I don’t, or he liked me, which he doesn’t, we couldn’t get involved. Our relationship has to remain strictly professional.”
Samantha sighed. “Well, you can’t blame me for dreaming.”
Tess laughed at that. “I know you’re happy here in Benson, Sam, but don’t get any ideas about being my matchmaker.”
“But if you lived here, we’d see each other all the time. You could be in your godson’s life almost every day!”
Tess stared at her friend in shock, then realized that the expression of horror on her face probably hurt Samantha’s feelings. “Um...that would be great!” It hadn’t occurred to her that she’d be asked to be a godmother.
“You’ll do it, right?” Samantha asked. “Be godmother to our baby boy?”
Tess tried to suppress the flutter of panic in her stomach. “I’m so honored that you’d ask me.” She took a deep breath and tried to wrap her mind around the idea. Godmother. So far she’d mostly managed to pretend that this baby wasn’t really happening. Obviously she knew Samantha was pregnant, but Tess didn’t like looking too far ahead. Soon the baby would be here, and she’d be expected to adore it, and she just wasn’t sure she could handle that. Not after living through the pain of giving up her own child. “Absolutely. How exciting!” The corners of her mouth ached with the effort behind her smile.
“Anyway, back to your situation.” Apparently Samantha wouldn’t be easily distracted from her matchmaking. “Slaid is a really good guy. And I bet deep down, he’s crazy about you. Just give him a chance. You’re here in Benson for a few weeks. Try something new—go on a date!”
“I’d rather try something else new.”
“How about learning to ride?” Jack walked into the kitchen and poured coffee into a to-go mug. “I’m heading out to the barn right now. Apple needs exercise.”
“My horse,” Samantha explained. “She’s getting fat right along with me.”
“You’re not fat. You’re more beautiful than ever.” Jack kissed his wife with such tenderness that Tess had to look away. It felt as though she was intruding. Jack put his hand on Samantha’s belly, and his blue eyes shone with hope and happiness. “I can’t wait to meet this little guy you’re growing for us,” he said softly, then kissed his wife once more and grinned at Tess. “I hope you’re up for some babysitting duty, Aunt Tess.”
Tess inhaled her coffee and spluttered out, “Of course.” She needed to finish this project and get out of here before her friend’s due date—that much was clear. “Well, it’s been great to see you both,” she said brightly. “But the windmills call.”
The mood in the room shifted. It was subtle, but Tess was good at sensing subtleties. There was nothing like growing up with drug-addled, abusive parents to hone a person’s people-reading skills. She’d learned early on to identify any signs of trouble.
“About the windmills...” Samantha said quietly.
“You know we don’t support them,” Jack finished for her.
Tension coiled in Tess’s stomach. She’d figured they’d have doubts or questions, but she wasn’t expecting them to come out against the project immediately. “I don’t get it. Don’t you want clean energy?”
“Of course we do,” Samantha said. “But windmills would be a huge change for Benson. We wouldn’t be surrounded by nature anymore.”
“We love the wilderness, and it’s what brings tourists here,” Jack added.
“So I’ve heard.” Tess sighed.
Samantha looked relieved that Tess understood. “So many of the tourist businesses are my clients. I can’t be their public relations consultant if there is no public to relate to. They—we—need this place to stay pristine.”
“And there’s also the issue with the birds,” Jack added.
“What do you mean?” Tess asked.
“We’re a pit stop on one of the biggest migratory routes in the world. Windmills kill birds, Tess. By the hundreds of thousands.”
“I know they can, but there is a lot of new technology to mitigate that,” Tess defended.
“Mitigate just means there will be slightly fewer birds killed.”
“I’ll get you the actual figures as soon as they send the environmental impact report,” Tess told him. “I think you’ll be amazed at what they can do to protect wildlife these days.”
“Thanks, Tess.” Jack took his hat from the hook by the kitchen door and clapped it on his head. “Though I don’t think your statistic will change my mind. Sorry.” There was an awkward pause. “Well, I’ve got a couple horses to take a look at. I’ll see you gorgeous women later.”
They were silent for another moment after he left. Tess thought about the birds she’d seen outside her window this morning. Big, black, noisy ones—crows or ravens. They’d woken her up and she’d been upset at the time, but that didn’t mean she wanted them shredded in a wind turbine.
“So you support the project?” Samantha asked.
“Sam, I keep telling you, I don’t have an opinion.”
“How can you not have an opinion?” her friend asked. “This is important stuff.”
Tess wouldn’t let herself be drawn in. “I have all kinds of opinions about a lot of things. But I don’t get to pick and choose my work assignments and I’m not paid to have an opinion about them. In fact, I’m paid to remain as neutral as possible and just present the facts.”
“Let’s be honest,” Samantha said, “your job is to put a spin on the truth so the project that you’re representing sounds fantastic.”
“Well, yes, I’m expected to present the facts in the best possible light—”
“I just don’t know how you do it,” Samantha interrupted. “How you can represent a project like this one.”
That stung. “Well, you’re in PR. And I’m sure in your old job especially, you didn’t always believe in what you were selling,” Tess said, trying to mask the hurt. “You know what it’s like.”
“Yes, but I just represented beauty products.”
“And were all of those products organic?” Tess challenged. “And free of any animal testing?”
Samantha looked troubled. “No, not all of them...”
“You see?” Tess asked. “You don’t have to believe in your product in order to sell it.”
“But this product, as you call it, affects a group of people who have lived here a long time. Who have built a life here over generations. And it isn’t fair that some outside company is coming in to change all that without their consent.”
“They’ll have a chance to voice their concerns,” Tess reminded her, trying to ignore the lump of guilt that was forming in her stomach.
“Fine, but will their concerns really be heard?” Samantha asked.
“I have no idea,” Tess admitted. “But if they aren’t, they can always file a lawsuit.”
“Which is costly.”
This conversation was starting to feel extremely unfair. “Sam, are you blaming me for all the flaws in our democracy?”
“No!” Samantha looked away, contemplating something out the window for a moment. “I’m sorry, Tess. I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I just want you to think more about what you’re doing. About who you’re working for. And about the consequences that it could have for our town.”
Tess made a point of rarely thinking deeply about what she was doing. And the guilt she was feeling now was exactly why she preferred to bury her head in the sand. “Look, I’m sorry. I understand that you don’t support the wind farm. And I understand why. But I’m here to do my job, and that’s what I have to do.”
“I know.” Samantha attempted a smile but looked forlorn instead. “And can you understand why I’m going to take the other side in this fight?”
“I do.” Tess hid her distress by taking a last gulp of coffee. “And speaking of the fight, I’d better get to work. It was great seeing you and Jack. Thanks for the breakfast.”
“I’m sorry if I upset you, Tess.” Samantha stood up. “I don’t want this to come between us. Can we hang out later in the weekend? I’m decorating the baby room, and I could use your style advice.”
Ugh. Maybe she was a terrible friend, but it sounded like torture. “Honey, you know my style is just about as un–baby friendly as it gets. If you listen to me you’ll have some kind of brushed stainless-steel crib and minimalist wall art.”
Samantha smiled at her joke, just as Tess had hoped she would. She wanted things to be okay between them, but right now all the ease of their old friendship seemed to have disappeared. Maybe their lives were just too different. She blew Samantha a kiss and put her cup in the sink. Then she was out the door, into the thin mountain air.
Her shoulders didn’t relax, the tension in her jaw didn’t stop aching, until she was in her car and safely back on the road into town. The one thing she’d been looking forward to in Benson was spending time with Samantha. But she hadn’t thought it through, hadn’t realized that Samantha would be opposed to the windmills and entirely focused on her soon-to-arrive baby.
There wasn’t much she could do about the windmills, but Tess wished she could muster up some excitement, some love and joy at the prospect of her godson. But that door in her heart was rusted shut by her own deeds and regrets. Tess rolled down the car window and let the cold air flow over her. She’d just have to do what she’d done for so long now that it had become a habit. She’d fake it. She was good at that.
CHAPTER FIVE (#ulink_ce2f9b7b-e11d-5134-aab7-66833ff90ad9)
TESS UNDERSTOOD WHY Renewable Reliance wanted to put windmills in this valley. From inside her Jeep she could hear the wind roaring. She wasn’t looking forward to stepping outside the shelter of the vehicle.
But she had to brave the gale because Allen Tate, the CEO of Renewable Reliance, was arriving in Benson next week for a video shoot. The footage would be used in a promotional video for the windmill project, and also for advertising the company. The CEO considered himself a pioneer of alternative energy and he’d decided that Benson was a good place to foster that image. And actually, his judgment wasn’t bad. These jagged hills east of Benson absolutely fit the definition of the word rugged.
They looked like teeth, Tess decided. Teeth from some strange monster with bad oral hygiene. The brown rock had been pushed up abruptly by long-ago geologic forces and didn’t seem to belong in the same region as the surrounding fields. As if to underscore the contrast, cows grazed placidly right below the rocky hills, seemingly oblivious to the dramatic cliffs looming above them.
Tess took a sip from her water bottle, wishing it were coffee or brandy or something warm. Maybe when all this was over she’d write a book—a city girl’s survival guide for tiny cow towns. First on her list of tips would be to invest in a small espresso machine. Her second tip would be to always have a flask of something stronger on hand, for moments like this one.
And her third tip, unrelated to beverages, would be to make sure, before agreeing to go, that you’d never slept with any of the tiny-cow-town officials.
She sighed and zipped up her parka, wrapped her scarf tightly around her neck and pulled her wool cap over her head. Taking the small camera from her purse, she opened the door, only to have the wind slam it shut in her face. She shook her head in awe. There was certainly wind power in this area. She tried again, this time shoving the door with her shoulder. She burst out into the chill afternoon, her senses immediately overwhelmed. All she could hear, smell and feel was wind.
Holding on to her hat, she trudged into the gusts, scanning the side of the road for places where a few cars could park at the same time. To her relief there was another large turnout beyond the one she’d parked in. Perfect for the film crew. Across the road from it was a gravel driveway and a rustic wooden gate, which led to the fields below the rocky teeth.
She walked over to take a closer look. If they all hopped the gate they could shoot footage of the CEO right here, with the twisted hills behind him. They could get some pretty light if they filmed in the morning, and she knew the wind would be quieter at that time of day, as well. She took a few pictures and stood staring at the view, trying to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything else she needed to do while she was here.
The sound of an engine approaching distracted her, and she looked up to see a white pickup pull up behind her rental Jeep and stop. A man jumped out and started running toward her. She had an instant of panic before realizing it was Slaid.
“Tess, are you okay?” He was shouting as he ran across the road and over to the gate where she stood.
No, she wasn’t okay. Slaid wore faded jeans, a shearling jacket and cowboy boots—and they all suited him perfectly. She suddenly wished he’d gained weight in the past two years, or gone bald or gotten married. Anything that would make him less attractive.
“I’m fine. How are you, Slaid?”
He stopped in front of her and she noted that he wasn’t even out of breath. “I saw your Jeep and thought maybe you had some car trouble and needed help.”
The idea that he’d assumed she was some kind of damsel in distress was a little irritating. “Thanks. I’m good. Just taking a few pictures. We’re doing a video shoot out here next week.”
His brows rose. “A video here? Why?”
“This is where they’re siting the windmills.” Tess shoved her hands in her pockets, wishing they could have this chat somewhere warmer.
“You’re kidding me.” His voice was suddenly rough and low. “And when were you going to tell me about this?”
“Actually I was planning on keeping it a big secret,” she snapped back. Slaid scowled, evidently not amused by her sarcastic humor. “I was going to stop by on my way back to town. The email with the map and directions just came an hour ago.”
His expression grew even more contorted as he looked over at the hills. “Well, the directions must be wrong. They can’t site their project here. This is my land.”
“No, that can’t be right.” She looked around at the desolate landscape, wondering if she’d made a mistake. She didn’t think so.
“I think I know my own pasture, Tess. And those are definitely my cattle over there.”
His attitude wasn’t helping their situation, or her mood, which was rapidly deteriorating. She was cold, and a dull ache drummed in her temples, probably from all this wind. “Well, I suppose it’s possible I read the map wrong. Why don’t you take a look at it with me? It’s in my car.”
They walked in troubled silence back across the road and wrestled the doors open. Slaid sat in the passenger seat and Tess pulled her hat off and ran her fingers through her tangled hair. “I don’t know how you live with this wind.”
Slaid didn’t answer, just reached for the folded map on her dashboard.
Tess sensed the distress radiating off him and figured she’d steer clear of any more small talk. She fished in her bag for her file of documents and found the page she’d been looking at previously. She handed the directions to Slaid. “Look, it says mile marker twenty-three.” She pointed ahead of them, where a small white sign had been placed close to the ground, the number twenty-three clearly visible. “So that’s it, right?”
Slaid was quiet, looking at the map before folding it carefully and setting it back on the dashboard. He handed Tess the directions. He didn’t look at her, just kept his eyes on the landscape in front of them. “That’s my land,” he said again, his voice heavy.
“Well, if you own it, then the company has made a mistake. I’ll give them a call and get this cleared up.”
“No, I don’t own it,” he said. “It belongs to the Bureau of Land Management. My family has leased it for years. Since I was a little kid and my dad wanted to expand our business.”
“So it’s not your land.”
The look he shot her was full of angst. “It’s land we’ve held the rights to. It’s land we’ve been promised we can count on for our business.”
“Well, windmills and cattle can coexist.” Tess tried to sound encouraging. “It doesn’t mean your business is ruined.”
“What do you know about that, Tess?” He turned to her then and his expression was hard, his eyes piercing. “You come out here from the city with your files and your computer and you want to tell me what my business needs? Well, I’ll tell you what it needs. Consistent access to good pasture.”
“Which I’m sure you can work out.”
“Really? And are you speaking from your vast knowledge of raising cattle? And constructing windmills?”
“There’s no need to be rude.” Her knuckles were white on the file. What she’d give to just shove him and his misdirected anger right out the door of her Jeep.
He went on as if she hadn’t spoken. “Your project is a threat to my livelihood. A threat to my family’s business—our heritage. A heritage we created with hard work, good ranching practices and sticking up for ourselves when someone tries to push us around.”
She’d make one more attempt at rationalization, and then she really would kick him out of this car. “I think you’re seeing things in black-and-white, Slaid. It can work. It works all over Texas. It works at Altamont Pass just a few hours west of here. There are hundreds of cows grazing perfectly happily under those windmills.”
“You make it seem so simple, but you have no idea what you’re talking about.”
She bristled all over but remained calm. “You are making this too personal, Slaid. The world is changing and we all have to adjust or get left behind. It’s basic economics. It’s Business 101.”
“Okay, so here are some economics for you. If they let me keep my lease, they’ll still kick my cattle off while they’re building the windmills. Which means I have to bring them all back to my ranch, and buy extra feed because I won’t have enough pasture. And since we’re in a massive drought and I’m already buying extra hay and water, the expense could quite possibly destroy my ranch. That’s Business 101, Tess. Now, I’ve got to get going. I have a lawyer to call.”
He opened the door and got out, letting the fierce wind slam it behind him. He was reflected in her rearview mirror as he stalked back to his truck, jerked open the door and got in. His engine revved and he pulled the big vehicle into a quick U-turn. It got smaller and smaller as she watched him drive away, heading back to Benson to fight the windmills.
His anger seemed to linger in the cab. Maybe the wind would blow it all away, because she didn’t want it and certainly didn’t deserve it. She rolled down the window for a quick blast of fresh air. Ugh. She’d known this gig would be a hard sell, but she hadn’t expected to end up in a personal battle with the mayor.
The anger and worry she’d seen in his face were understandable, but it didn’t give him the right to be such a condescending jerk and lash out at her. And now she was angry. Angry enough to work harder on this project than she’d ever worked on anything before.
The setting sun colored the jagged rocks on the hillsides a pinkish hue and cast deep shadows behind them. It was dramatic in a moonscape kind of way. She could see how windmills would change that forever. Doubt pricked at her, and she shoved it down. It wasn’t her job to care, she reminded herself. She had no opinion in this fight. She was hired to outline the various benefits to the project. And there were real benefits. Big ones like reliable jobs and clean energy. She’d keep her focus on those positive outcomes and work hard. If she did, Slaid would see all of his outdated arguments blown away by her own. Obliterated in a blast of high desert wind.
She rolled up the window and drove back to Benson, making a mental list of talking points that would support the wind project. It would be a big challenge, but she’d been through tough work situations before and come out on top. She’d get through this one, too.
After parking in front of the cottage, she grabbed a notebook and listed all of her ideas. Staring at the bullet points, it occurred to her that the skills she used in this job—the thick skin, the tenacity, the ability to work alone in a hostile environment—were all skills she’d honed during her disastrous childhood. They were coping skills she wished she’d never had to develop, but they certainly served her well on days like this.
Suddenly she felt tired. It had been a rough first week in Benson. Watching the last rays of sun turn the town pink and gold, she wondered what it would be like to have a different job, one that was less combative, that didn’t require her to be so tough all the time. Because on days like this, she grew weary of fighting so many battles.
Tess hit the steering wheel with her palm, jolting herself out of her self-pity. She jumped out of the car and stormed into the cottage, angrier with herself than Slaid now. Life threw all kinds of crap at people every day—she was living proof. And sitting around moaning about it didn’t help. She was lucky to have a job she was so good at. Pity parties could lead to horrible choices. Choices like the ones her parents had made when they’d decided drugs were more important than keeping custody of her. Choices like she’d made when she was sixteen and discovered drugs herself, emerging from her self-inflicted haze pregnant and more alone than ever.
She would not fall into self-pity just because the mayor of Benson was rude. Slaid Jacobs and his soon-to-be-homeless cows weren’t worth it. Tess shed clothes as she walked through the house, and by the time she was in the bedroom, all she had to do was throw on her running gear and grab her iPod. Then she was back out the front door.
She welcomed the freezing wind now. It was invigorating and cleansing, and it scoured any remaining wisps of self-pity from the hidden corners of her soul. Her mind cleared, her confidence flooded back and soon she was charging forward in the growing darkness, trusting herself to navigate the bumpy back roads of Benson. She was moving fast and on her own—just the way she liked it.
CHAPTER SIX (#ulink_148ba28a-5617-502c-98c1-dcaa5346c397)
SLAID STARED AT the letter through a fog of sleep-deprived disgust. It was from the Bureau of Land Management—official notice that his grazing lease would be temporarily suspended due to the impending construction of windmills on the property. Perfect timing. He’d tossed and turned all night, emotions jumping from anger about the windmills to guilt at the way he’d laid into Tess yesterday. And now this. He slammed the mailbox and threw the letter into the cab of his truck.
Adding insult to injury, his lawyer was out of town for a few days. He knew that shouldn’t upset him; Matt was down in Los Angeles at a funeral and it just wasn’t right to be angry with someone for honoring their deceased aunt.
With the morning to himself and fury to spare, Slaid got behind the wheel and pulled his truck up to a pile of fence posts he’d purchased a few months ago. It was a good day for a sledgehammer, a posthole digger and a bunch of barbed wire. Loading the heavy wooden posts into the truck felt good. Pounding them into the ground would feel even better.
A noise had him glancing at the road that led from his ranch over a slight rise and back down to Benson. Jack Baron’s old truck appeared, rattling down the hill. Why such a rich guy drove such a beat-up old farm truck, vintage 1950s, was a mystery to Slaid, but Jack was a little quirky in his taste.
“Thanks for coming out here,” Slaid said as Jack descended from the creaky vehicle. He’d called his friend late last night, cross-eyed from staring at websites, trying to figure out how to stop the windmills. A few years ago, Jack had led a successful fight to stop a real estate development company from turning one of the most beautiful mountains outside of Benson into an enormous resort. Slaid wanted his opinion on fighting the wind farm. He just hoped that Jack’s marriage to Tess’s friend, Samantha, wouldn’t complicate things.
“Sounds as if we’ve got a problem on our hands.” Jack glanced toward the truck Slaid had been loading. “And a project. You want some help?”
“If you’ve got the time to spare, sure.” Slaid went around to the driver’s side and Jack swung up into the passenger seat.
“These windmills are going to be worse than I thought,” Jack said as they started up the gravel road that led out to Slaid’s farthest pasture. “I knew Tess was here to represent Renewable Reliance, but I had no idea their site was so close to town, or on your land.”
“Yeah, apparently she forgot to mention that.”
“She didn’t know either, Slaid. Look, I know you’re pissed. I am, too. But you’ve gotta be pissed at the right people. Tess doesn’t own that company and she doesn’t even want this job. Samantha told me her boss had to twist her arm to get her out here.”
His gut-churning guilt grew tenfold. Jack didn’t even know the worst of it—that Slaid had pressured Tess to stay in Benson when she’d wanted to go. He let out a long breath. “Yeah, I got that feeling. And I’ll bet Tess said something to Samantha about our argument yesterday. You must think I was pretty hard on her.”
“Well, she and Samantha talked on the phone a little last night. Tess mentioned that you were pretty angry, but if she was truly upset by what you said, she’d never admit it. Tess doesn’t let on much about her troubles to anyone.”
Shame combined with the guilt. “Maybe I did take things out on her.” They’d reached the old fence, its posts leaning and rotting, the wire rusted and sagging. Slaid parked the truck and cut the engine. They got out, and he tossed Jack a pair of heavy leather gloves, then pulled on a pair of his own. Once Jack unlatched the tailgate, they started pulling the posts from the back.
The talk turned to the fence for a few minutes. They pulled the most rotten section out entirely, loading the rusty wire into the truck and carrying the new posts over. Then they set to work digging out a few old posts that were still firmly cemented in the ground.
“This is crap work, you know.” Jack grinned at him over the shovel. “Don’t you usually pay someone to do this?”
Slaid slammed his shovel into the hard earth. “Just felt like a little manual labor. When I’ve got a problem to solve, a little sweat and dirt sometimes helps.”
Jack’s laugh echoed over the quiet hillside. “I know the feeling. I don’t think my ranch was ever in better shape than when Samantha showed up next door. I must have replaced half my fence line that fall. Then I got myself sucked into helping Todd with his crazy wild mustangs, and I even painted Jed and Betty’s barn for them.”
It was Slaid’s turn to laugh. “Man, you had it bad.”
They were silent for a moment, chipping away at the unyielding ground. Then Jack spoke. “So if you really want to fight this thing, we could use some outside help. Environmental groups for one. They want green energy but without migrating birds getting injured. They definitely don’t want the Sierras and the wild lands nearby covered in wind turbines.”
“Okay.” Slaid grunted as he dislodged a chunk of the old concrete with his pickax, the accomplishment giving him a flicker of satisfaction.
“And we should get the historical society on board. They can make the connection to what’s happened around here in the past.”
“You mean the water?”
“Yeah. It makes sense if we spin it right.” Jack jabbed his shovel into the loose dirt left by Slaid’s efforts. “First Southern California steals the water out of the Owens River and just about destroys the Eastern Sierra towns and ranches. Now they’re back, threatening to destroy our last untainted resource—the natural beauty that supports our tourist industry. Just so they can have more power down south.”
“How do we prove the power is going to Southern California?” Slaid asked, wiping sweat off his forehead with his sleeve.
“Because I bet when we get a good look at what this project entails, there’s gonna be a lot more power generated than they can sell around here. Trust me, most of it will be going down to LA.”
“But Renewable Reliance will just say that’s all speculation.”
Jack’s brows drew together as he considered Slaid’s point. “Well. They’ll have to answer our questions, at any rate. We’ll just hope they’ll answer them somewhat honestly.”
“Seem as if you’re saying our success might be rooted in how well we tell the story. We’ve got to get the media interested.” Slaid slammed his pickax back into the dirt. “But what if it backfires? I mean, this country needs clean energy. So how do we avoid looking like a bunch of ignorant, backward-looking people who don’t want to do our part?”
“I’m not sure.” Jack tried to wedge his shovel under the old post. “The thing is, I want wind power—in theory. I want my energy coming from a cleaner source. But do I want those windmills here in Benson? Nope.”
“I feel the same.”
“Samantha and I had an idea the other night. I don’t know if it would work for everyone, but we’re thinking of installing solar panels on our roof. Maybe this is a crazy idea, but what if everyone in town did it? We could prove that we’re not just saying no to wind power because we’re selfish. We’d be saying no because we already have our own source of clean energy.”
“Not a bad idea. It would add to that story you’re talking about spinning. A solar-powered town, threatened by windmills.” Slaid felt more hopeful than he had since Tess had shown up in his office. “What if we worked with the state for some rebates, or even a solar company for a bulk price on panels and installation?”
“It’s worth looking into,” Jack agreed.
“I really think it could be a good strategy.” Already Slaid’s thoughts were sifting through memories of everyone he’d met over the years, trying to remember if he knew anyone involved in the solar industry.
“And it might get us a win.” Jack grinned at him. “If that’s what you want.”
“It’s what I want. I can’t let this wind project happen on my watch.” Slaid set his ax down and reached into the truck bed for a shovel, using his boot to push it deep into the soil. “I think we should bring it up tonight at the city council meeting. You going?”
“Yeah, I’ll be there. Can’t shirk my duties as an elected official. Even if I only got a council seat because no one else wanted it.”
“Hey, plenty of people wanted that seat!” Slaid assured him. “I just wanted you around to save my ass with good ideas like this solar-power plan. I think it could work, though I’m not looking forward to going head-to-head with Tess.”
“Neither are we.” Jack leaned on his shovel. “I’m sure this whole situation is really awkward for Samantha and Tess. They’ve been such close friends, and for the first time they’re on opposite sides of something.”
Slaid nodded. “Yeah, well, if it makes you feel any better, awkward is a hell of a lot better than how I handled things yesterday. I made it personal. I can’t make that mistake again.”
“I guess we can’t help it being kind of personal,” Jack said. “But if the council likes our idea, I think someone should tell Tess about the plan. It’s best to be up front.”
“That someone being me, I guess,” Slaid said. “The dirty work goes along with being the mayor. But I doubt that’ll be an enjoyable conversation.”
Jack jabbed his shovel under the post again, managing to tip it partway over. Slaid reached for it and wrestled the old wood out of the ground. “You know, Samantha mentioned that you and Tess...”
“Yep.” No way was Slaid talking about sex, even with a guy as easygoing as Jack. He grabbed his pickax and walked over to the next post, putting his full attention on loosening the dirt around it. “I’d appreciate if you and Samantha don’t pass that along to anyone else. It’s not a night I’m proud of.”
“Hell, Slaid, we’ve all done things we’re not proud of.”
“But you’re not the mayor.”
“Or the son and grandson of previous mayors,” Jack added. He dug his shovel into the dusty soil. “I get that you’ve got a heavy legacy to carry around, but that doesn’t mean you have to be perfect every moment of your life. That’s impossible.”
Slaid’s laugh came out more like a humorless bark. “I’ve got a divorce to prove that I’m not perfect every moment.”
Jack grinned. “I’ve got one, too, so I guess that means we both have our flaws.”
They worked in silence for a few minutes, deepening the hole around the post. Slaid didn’t want to ask, but something inside him wouldn’t let the opportunity slide. “So since the cat’s out of the bag, what do you know about Tess?”
Jack scooped up a couple more shovelfuls before he answered, “I can understand why you had that night a couple years ago, but I hope for your sake you’re not interested in dating her.”
“I honestly don’t know what I’m interested in.” But the truth was, he hadn’t stopped thinking about her since she’d walked into his office.
Jack sighed. “Well, she’s pretty, obviously, and funny and smart and a great friend to my wife—loyal as anything. But you’d be half-crazy to get involved with her. She’s got a wall a mile thick between her and the world. Samantha’s known her since college and says she barely knows anything about her.”
Slaid paused. “Really? I just figured it was me she was skittish around.”
“Next time you’re with her, watch how she does it. The minute the conversation gets personal about her, she’ll ask about you. Or make a joke. Or find a new topic. Or leave. Anything but talk about herself.”
There was a clank as Jack’s shovel hit what must be a pretty big rock. Slaid dropped the ax and picked up his shovel, driving it into the hard soil with his boot, trying to get under it. “Maybe she just hasn’t met the right guy.” He got the shovel under the rock and started prying. The wooden handle snapped like a twig, sending him staggering backward, broken stub in hand.
Jack just stood there, his shoulders shaking in laughter. “Oh, man, if that’s not an omen for your future with Tess, I don’t know what is. I give you my condolences.”
Slaid picked up the broken pieces and threw them in the truck. He grabbed another shovel out of the back. “You never know. Why don’t you hold off on those condolences for a few more weeks?”
Jack had the pickax now, crouching down to loosen the soil under the rock. When he looked at Slaid, he was still grinning. “Will do. And good luck. You’ll surely need it if you’re going to try to get anywhere with Tess Cole.”
* * *
USUALLY SLAID WAS restless during meetings. He was a big, active guy and sitting around talking didn’t suit him that well. But this evening he was so tired after setting posts with Jack all day that it actually felt good to be sedentary. At least, it felt good while the city council members brainstormed fund-raising ideas for new holiday decorations. This part was easy. It was the windmill discussion, next on the agenda, that could be tricky. Looking around at the weathered faces of the older ranchers and respected Benson citizens who made up the council, Slaid realized he had no idea what they’d think of Jack’s ideas. Most of these folks were fairly traditional. But regardless of how they felt about any kind of alternative energy, the future of power had showed up uninvited at their doorstep. They would have to deal with it.
Gus Jackson, owner of the largest market in town, was chairing the meeting. “Next on the agenda is windmills,” he said. “Slaid, you want to talk about this?”
Slaid cleared his throat and jumped in. “Some of you may have heard that there’s a company looking to put a wind farm on the grazing land I lease east of town.”
About half the folks on his council nodded, while the other half looked stunned. Apparently the Benson gossip mill hadn’t had quite enough time to work its magic. “Now, I don’t know how you all feel about that, but I think we’ll have to come together and take a stand on it, one way or the other.”
“I don’t want to look at them all day, that’s for sure,” Sue Emory said, tapping her pencil anxiously. She ran Jeep tours in the summer and snowshoe hikes in winter. “And the tourists won’t like it much, either.”
“I don’t get it. A private company can just come out here and do that? How?” Gus asked.
“They can get a lease from the Bureau of Land Management, just like we do for grazing,” Jack answered. And it’s easy for them to do it, because the federal government is all about developing domestic sources of energy right now,”
“But here? It’s going to mess with this whole area,” Bob Allen said worriedly. “It’ll change everything.”
“Well, I’m new at this,” Slaid told him. “But it seems to me that if the feds are allowing fracking all over BLM land, a wind-energy project must be a no-brainer for them. It’s a lot less invasive and damaging.”
Jed Watkins leaned forward. “I just don’t get it. We’re a small town. We don’t need that much energy. Why us?”
“We’ve got the wind,” Slaid answered. “And it’s a straight shot down Highway 395 to Southern California.”
“We’re pretty sure they’ll just sell the extra power to LA,” Jack explained. “Or run it across the desert to Las Vegas or some other big city.”
The quaver in Gus’s voice betrayed his distress, “What do we do? No way can we let this happen.”
“Well, we’ve got to run a campaign.” Jack glanced around the table. “Try to get some outside support for our cause. Involve the media and environmental groups.”
“Jack thinks we’ll get a lot of public sympathy on this,” Slaid added. “Especially if we remind people of the struggles folks in this area have endured since LA got its hands on our water.”
“Sounds like a good idea overall,” Sue said.
“Well, there’s another part to this idea,” Slaid’s nervousness was gone now. So far not one person had protested, or extolled the economic benefits of windmills. “Jack and I were talking earlier.” Slaid nodded in his friend’s direction. “He had this idea about using solar energy to fight this thing. If we got solar panels installed all over town, we’d be making most of our own power. Then we can prove that we have no need for a wind farm.”
“But how will we afford all these solar panels?” Jed asked. “Those things are pricey.”
“Well, there are rebates from the federal government, and we’ll try to work with the state for a grant, too. Plus, I was thinking we could try to find a big solar installation company that might consider a group discount.”
The ideas started flying. One of the benefits of a small town was that the council knew every homeowner in it. They made a list of who would be on board, who might get on board with some convincing and the few people who probably never would. Then they made a list of people who might need a little financial assistance.
The council members got so fired up about the solar-power idea that they decided to forego the new holiday decorations this year, and instead use the income from the fund-raisers they’d just planned for “solar scholarships” to help people get their panels installed. Slaid felt a rush of pride. An issue that he’d feared might divide his town was actually going to bring its citizens closer than ever.
His worry about Tess nagged at him, though. If the town came together, they would hand her a big defeat on this thing. And even though he knew that this wasn’t her project, and it wasn’t her defeat, as the project spokesperson, this would be a blow to her career. It might even jeopardize her job.
He’d promised Jack he’d let Tess know their plans and give her a chance to come up with a counterstrategy. But he’d done a little researching on the internet these past few days and learned that Tess was considered one of the best in her field. With a heads-up she might still find a way to kick his butt.
“Slaid, are you on board with all these fund-raisers?” Gus asked.
He looked around the table, embarrassed that he’d been caught with his mind wandering. Luckily his assistant, Erica, had made a chart with all additional fund-raising plans on it, and he was a fast reader. He nodded. They were going to be busy, but it would be worth it. “We’ll need to schedule a few extra meetings, folks, if you want to make all this happen. And I would call in all the favors you can with friends and family, because we will have to form some new committees. Fund-raising, outreach, technology... It’s gonna take the expertise of everyone we know to make this plan a reality.”
An hour later, they all stumbled down the steps of the town hall and out into the dusk. The sun set early these days, earlier still because it went behind the mountains so quickly. Waving goodbye to the council members, Slaid relished a sense of accomplishment. This was why he was mayor—for moments like this. When people worked together to make something happen that was way beyond what any one individual could do.
And now it was just a matter of getting it done. They had their plans in place, meetings on the calendar, and if everyone did their part, they could win this fight.
If they did, he might even end up grateful to Renewable Reliance. Earlier today he and Jack had spoken about his legacy—all that inherited family expectation that sometimes felt like a burden. Well, right now it felt like an opportunity. He had the chance to turn Benson into America’s first solar-powered town. That could be his own legacy—one he could be proud of.
CHAPTER SEVEN (#ulink_1cedf0c5-5cff-5797-a9a9-7f465f5ad555)
WALKING TO HIS TRUCK, Slaid’s mind went straight back to Tess. He needed to apologize for the way he’d treated her out by his pasture yesterday. He figured he’d bring some flowers. At least they might keep her from slamming the door in his face. Maybe they’d also soften the blow he was about to deliver—that Benson was trying to go solar powered.
Late fall wasn’t the ideal time to find fresh flowers, but he headed to the grocery store and managed to grab a few of the least-wilted bunches. The hardware store was just closing but he begged his way in and, though they didn’t have a vase, he found a large mason jar—it would have to do. Once he’d wrestled the flowers into some kind of decent-looking arrangement, he drove to Tess’s cottage, wondering what kind of reception he would get. Part of him couldn’t wait to see her again. The naive, optimistic part that was still excited that the woman he’d dreamed about was right here in Benson. Another part of him kind of hoped she wasn’t home. He wasn’t looking forward to their conversation. If she was gone, he’d simply write a note of apology, leave the flowers on her doorstep and make his escape. He could deal with delivering the news about the solar panels another day.
When she answered his knock, he knew the easy way out wasn’t an option. But suddenly it didn’t matter, because she took his breath away. Without makeup, her face had a softness he’d never imagined. Her wide blue eyes were rimmed with soft gold lashes that he realized now were usually covered in black mascara. A smattering of freckles decorated her translucent skin. Her hair hung past her shoulders in soft waves. Dressed in a plum-colored sweater and black knit pants, she looked relaxed, much younger and way more beautiful than ever.
Her eyes widened at the sight of him. “Slaid, what are you doing here?”
“Apologizing,” he said softly. “May I come in for a moment?”
Her expression was guarded, and she glanced down with evident regret at her casual clothing, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear in a self-conscious gesture that was out of sync with the Tess he knew. “Okay.”
She opened the door wider for him and he stepped into the entry, feeling like a fool standing there with flowers in his hands. But after the way he’d acted, he knew he deserved to feel like a fool. And worse.
“These are for you.” He handed her the bouquet.
“Why?” she asked sharply, taking the jar.
“Because I was an idiot. I took that whole windmill thing out on you when I know it’s not your fault. Hell. You wouldn’t even still be here if I hadn’t put pressure on you to stay. I had no right to act like that, Tess. And I’m sorry.”
He waited for her smile, wanting to see the corners of her lush mouth tilt up. But it didn’t come. Instead she looked troubled.
“I don’t need flowers. We’re professionals, Slaid. You were just reacting to some bad news. I’m a big girl. I can take it. I definitely don’t need an apology.”
Her words and tone jarred him out of his thoughts, which had been stuck on her mouth and the realization that he wanted to kiss her. He yanked his eyes away.
“Maybe you don’t need to hear it, but I need to give it. I messed up and I know better.”
“You really are a Boy Scout, aren’t you?” She set the flowers down on an end table next to a white armchair.
“Eagle,” he said automatically before realizing how stupid that sounded.
“Right. Well, Scout, apologies are for personal relationships, and we’re not personal. We’re business. So you do what you need to do, and I’ll do what I need to do, and we’ll just try our best to keep it civil. How’s that?”
Scout. Her nickname had him feeling like a little kid. It didn’t help that she sounded as if she was explaining the ways of the world to a child. He’d come here with flowers, stood on her doorstep struck speechless by her beauty, and that was how she saw him. Some Boy Scout country boy who needed her to school him in being professional. Irritation ran up his spine and he stiffened. “That’s fine. And since we’re being civil, I think I owe you a heads-up.”
“About?”
“The city council just voted to pursue a plan to make Benson the first one-hundred-percent solar town in the country.” He waited for her reaction, but if she was worried, he couldn’t tell—she was that good. She just stood a little straighter, tipped her chin up a little more proudly.
“Well, I appreciate you telling me. I’ll need to let my client know, as well... You understand?”
Hell, he hadn’t thought of that and neither had Jack. Renewable Reliance might be able to pull strings and put obstacles in their way that Tess on her own could not. “Of course,” he said, trying to play it as cool as she did.
“Is there anything else?”
“Um. A thank-you? For the flowers?”
“I didn’t realize I had to say thank you for an apology.”
Damn. If there had ever been anything between them after their night in Phoenix, she was making sure it was buried under about a mile of ice...and he was slipping and sliding like a fool without skates. He tried one last time. “Look, if you want to go back to San Francisco and get someone else to take your place in Benson, I’ll be okay with it. I should never have tried to make you stay.”
“I can see why you’d rather I was gone now, but I don’t back away from a fight, Slaid.”
“I don’t want you gone.” There, he’d said it, and the shock on her face might well be worth the embarrassment of putting his feelings right out there. “That’s not my intention. Tess, I’m apologizing—for forcing you to stay in the first place and for my behavior since. I’m trying to correct my wrongs.”
She stared at him warily. “That’s nice of you. But like I said before, I don’t need apologies. We’re on opposite sides of this issue—that’s just the way it is. We have to agree to do our work and not take anything personally.”
He’d have to remember those last few words next time he was distracted by her beauty or memories of what they’d shared. None of this was personal. Even the sex hadn’t been personal for her. “I’ll just say good-night, then.”
“Good night,” she said calmly, and went to the door, opening it for him, signaling that their conversation was over.
Slaid clapped his hat on his head and walked out, the shreds of his dignity trailing behind him. He thought back to Jack’s warning earlier today. His friend had cautioned that Tess was hard to get to know, but he hadn’t mentioned that she was a cat, with sharp claws hidden beneath her sleek form. Claws that could softly and easily slice a man’s confidence into bits.
* * *
TESS CLOSED THE door behind Slaid and leaned against it, letting out the breath she’d been holding. She prided herself on anticipating all obstacles, but she couldn’t have predicted this one. An entire town going solar? It was brilliant. She had no idea if they’d be able to pull it off, but it was a truly inspired move.
Unfortunately, she was on the receiving end of their inspiration. She would call Ed tomorrow and tell him about this new development, and then wait to hear what Renewable Reliance wanted to do about it. And in the meantime, she would have to come up with something good, something fabulous, to convince the people of Benson that solar wasn’t the way to go.
I don’t want you gone. His words were pulsing neon in her brain, emanating fear and desire that sent a shiver up her spine. He made her crazy, angry and frustrated. He was her enemy in what was going to be a very tough fight. But in those few moments since she’d arrived when they hadn’t been arguing, when they’d shared a spark of humor or a smile, she hadn’t wanted to be gone, either. And those moments troubled her.
She wandered over to the flowers Slaid had brought—white roses, some pink carnations and a whole bunch of baby’s breath. A standard supermarket offering. She trailed her fingers over the soft rose petals anyway. No guy had ever brought her flowers before. Probably because she rarely told them her name or where she lived. And because women like her, who were so clearly out for just a one-night stand, didn’t inspire the traditional thank-you bouquet after a night of sex, no matter how good.
It was kind of sweet that he’d brought them. Totally inappropriate, of course, but sweet. And yet she’d been hard on him—she’d had to be. Seeing him at her door, totally gorgeous and all hopeful, flowers in one hand, his leather cowboy hat in the other, had just about taken her legs out from under her. And there was no way she could let that happen. She needed them strong and steady and completely reliable if she hoped to win this fight.

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