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All a Man Is
Janice Kay Johnson
Big risks hold no appeal for Julia Raynor after losing her husband to his high-danger career. And his vice cop brother, Alec, doesn’t seem much different—although he is there for her and the kids. So when her son is headed for big-city trouble, Alec voluntarily becomes police chief in Angle Butte, Oregon, to remove him from temptation.But temptation stalks more than her son. Living in proximity to Alec, that long-denied attraction Julia harbors won’t be denied. And Alec’s actions say it’s not one-sided. Can she trust another Raynor man? When a threat catches up with her family, Julia knows Alec is the only one she can trust!


Is this reward worth the risk?
Big risks hold no appeal for Julia Raynor after losing her husband to his high-danger career. And his vice cop brother, Alec, doesn’t seem much different—although he is there for her and the kids. So when her son is headed for big-city trouble, Alec voluntarily becomes police chief in Angel Butte, Oregon, to remove him from temptation.
But temptation stalks more than her son. Living close to Alec, the long-denied attraction Julia harbors won’t be ignored. And Alec’s actions say it’s not one-sided. Can she believe in another Raynor man? Yet, when a threat catches up with her family, Julia knows Alec is the only one she can trust!
Alec’s eyes met Julia’s, his expression rueful, but he kept quiet
It was miracle enough that he was willing to do as much as he did. Even to completely uproot and move. When she’d asked Josh to choose between his family and his dangerous, high-adrenaline job, he’d chosen the job. It scared her to think Alec might hate it here in Angel Butte, so far from the high-adrenaline job he’d loved. From what he’d said, he was now stuck behind a desk, probably the last thing he’d ever wanted to do with his life.
I didn’t ask him, she argued with herself. He offered.
But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t blame her if he began to chafe at a life shaped by his sense of duty.
He kept insisting they were his family, but they weren’t really, were they?
The fact that she wished they were would remain her secret.
Julia’s attraction to Alec might not remain secret for long…especially if her son can’t keep out of trouble! Read on for an exciting, emotional tale in this latest book in Janice Kay Johnson’s The Mysteries of Angel Butte series.
Dear Reader,
Forget The Taming of the Shrew. What I love writing about is the taming of a rebellious teenager! Truthfully, I’ve always had a soft spot for teenagers, maybe because I have way more vivid memories of the year when I was thirteen than I do the younger years. Emotions are all so extravagant. I hated my mother! My life would be ruined if that boy didn’t notice me, or my mother refused to let me date an eighteen-year-old! How dare she? Ah, well. How your attitudes change when you become a parent instead.
In All a Man Is, thirteen-year-old Matt Raynor is positive he hates his mother, but in his case it isn’t all teenage angst. My hero—and Matt’s uncle—Alec Raynor thinks of his nephew as being tamped gun powder. This boy is hurting, but until he finally blows up, his mom and uncle won’t know what’s really wrong. Poor kid. I’m almost ashamed to tell you how much fun I had writing about him!
Best of all, All a Man Is includes one of my favorite themes—forbidden love. Sister- and brother-in-law, in this case. Not really taboo, but…touchy. This pair have banded together to raise Julia’s two kids. Yes, her husband died a year and a half ago, but does that make these feelings they’re having for each other okay? What if one of them makes a move and finds out the other one is still in the brother/sister mode? Do you dare risk a relationship that is essential for the kids’ sakes in hopes of having something sublime? What if it all goes wrong?
I’ve had a great time writing these The Mysteries of Angel Butte books. Such a good time, in fact, that I’ve written another one. Jane Vahalik is a strong character in all three of the stories. The balance between being a woman and being a tough cop who has risen to the rank of lieutenant is a perilous one, and I found I kept thinking about her.
So look for her story coming in July 2014.
Thanks for visiting Angel Butte. Please come back!
Janice Kay Johnson
PS—I enjoy hearing from readers! Please contact me on Facebook, or through my publisher, at Harlequin, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, ON M3B 3K9, Canada.
All a Man Is
Janice Kay Johnson

www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
The author of more than eighty books for children and adults, Janice Kay Johnson is especially well-known for her Mills & Boon Superromance novels about love and family—about the way generations connect and the power our earliest experiences have on us throughout life. Her 2007 novel Snowbound won a RITA® Award from Romance Writers of America for Best Contemporary Series Romance. A former librarian, Janice raised two daughters in a small rural town north of Seattle, Washington. She loves to read and is an active volunteer and board member for Purrfect Pals, a no-kill cat shelter.
This one is for Pat, a great friend when times get tough, and an unbeatable plotting partner
Contents
Prologue (#u23ef1fbd-13b7-57a6-8406-7f72dc56a40e)
Chapter One (#u05e9e22e-c4ef-5609-9c8b-f27e9976a3c8)
Chapter Two (#u41b64d73-5871-5e2e-87a2-721f9e5f043e)
Chapter Three (#ud6fc682a-ed3d-5305-8497-0c119d052fae)
Chapter Four (#u054913ae-29dd-5573-8220-5172cba1f943)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seventeen (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Excerpt (#litres_trial_promo)
PROLOGUE
HALF A DOZEN MEN and three women sat around the conference room table. Some had laptops open, others notebooks.
Lieutenant Alec Raynor found his attention kept wandering to the five red pins stabbing a map on a display board propped on an easel. Each pin represented a particularly brutal rape and murder, all similar enough for detectives to have linked them to a single perpetrator. One of those pins was within his jurisdiction, his responsibility, the Los Angeles Police Department. Two belonged to the county sheriff’s department, one to Beverly Hills P.D. and the most recent to Santa Monica P.D.
This killer liked his victims to be upscale.
The task force had been formed after the third murder. Unfortunately for the detectives working the crime, the killer was smart and clearly well educated in the collection of trace evidence. Result: they had next to nothing to go on.
Alec’s phone vibrated and he barely glanced at it, intending to let it go to voice mail. The name displayed, though, had him rising to his feet.
“Excuse me for a minute. I need to take this.”
He answered as he left the room. “Julia?”
Unless it was prearranged, his sister-in-law never called him during normal working hours. Certainly not in the middle of the afternoon like this.
“I’m sorry to bother you, Alec.” The stress in her usually melodic voice ratcheted up the worry that had gripped him the minute he saw her name on the call display. “I should have waited. If you’re tied up—”
“I can take a minute. Something’s wrong.”
She laughed, a sharp sound. “As usual, it’s Matt.”
Both her kids had been named to honor Alec and his brother’s mother and her Italian family. Matteo had recently turned thirteen. Alec kept hearing that girls were hell on wheels at thirteen, but boys had to mature for a couple more years before they were ready to rebel. Not Matt.
Thank God Matt’s sister, Emiliana—Liana for short—was, at not quite eleven, still a little girl.
Alec’s niece and nephew had both been slammed by their father’s death a year and a half ago. Liana’s grief and bewilderment seemed normal, while Matt’s original shock had come to more closely resemble a bomb packed with gunpowder. It was dangerous to handle and had so many explosives tamped down inside, Alec expected the worst when it blew. Some days, he had trouble recognizing the boy he loved in the sneering, foulmouthed shit he’d become.
What bothered him most was that he had no idea what was going on in the kid’s head.
Julia didn’t call after every one of his escapades, and certainly not in the middle of the day.
“What happened?” Alec asked.
“He was caught stealing a bottle of whiskey from the Grove Street store. From Mr. Santana.”
Mr. Santana had to be seventy-five if he was a day. He’d had cataract surgery recently on one eye but the other remained clouded. He’d continued running the store after his son was killed in an armed robbery and he was left to care for his daughter-in-law and her three children. The oldest boy, Javier, was an earnest seventeen-year-old who helped his grandfather every minute he wasn’t in school. Sweet Mr. Santana was known throughout the neighborhood for his kindness to children.
Matt had very likely gone there to shoplift because he knew Mr. Santana’s vision was poor.
“It gets worse,” Julia warned, and now Alec could hear fear along with anger in her voice. “He was already drunk.”
Son of a bitch. His thirteen-year-old nephew had gotten wasted? “Where is he?”
“Oh, his room.” She sounded hopeless. “But you know how much good putting him on restriction does.”
Alec knew.
“I’ve done some thinking today, Alec. I’d...like to talk to you if you can come over whenever you get off. Or—it can wait until tomorrow if you’re tied up.”
“No,” he said roughly. “I’ll be there after dinner sometime.”
“Thank you.” All the grief he’d begun to believe she was letting go of was there again, so heavy he could feel the weight. “Tonight,” she said, and was gone.
* * *
ALEC STOOD IN Julia’s kitchen, leaning one hip against the edge of the tiled counter, and tried to conceal his shock at Julia’s announcement.
He couldn’t help watching her as she busied herself pouring them both cups of coffee. Julia—his brother’s widow—was a beautiful woman. Elegant, but not flashy. He remembered being surprised the first time he met her, because Josh usually went for buxom blondes, and the girl he was suddenly serious about was neither. Petite, no more than five foot three or four, she had the fine-boned build of a dancer. Alec learned later that she actually had taken dance classes for years, without being serious enough to consider it as a career. Her straight brown hair was a rich color with a warm cast, more like maple than mahogany, he had decided. And then there were eyes of a witchy green-gold she had passed on to her daughter but not her son.
When he’d first arrived this evening, he’d spent a few minutes with Liana. Skinny and small for her age, she had darker hair than her mom. He heard about her fascination with the algebra her fifth-grade advanced math group was currently studying.
“There’s this boy who likes me,” she had added shyly, pink tingeing her thin cheeks. “I mean, I guess he does. His name’s Tyler. He told Jose, who told Brooke.” Brooke, Alec knew, was Liana’s best friend. “He wants me to be, like, his girlfriend or something.”
Girlfriend! He’d had damn near as much trouble grappling with the concept of this little girl having some guy after her as he did with the idea of Matt boozing. They were turning into teenagers before his eyes.
They had been at just about the worst possible age to lose their father.
Alec hadn’t trusted himself to talk to Matt yet. Instead, he’d left Liana instant messaging with friends and retreated to the kitchen.
“What happened to playing with Barbie dolls?” he asked plaintively.
Amusement lightened Julia’s distress, if only for a moment. “What’s she doing?” When he told her, she laughed. “Oh, she still has her Barbies and plays with them, too, but mostly by herself. She’s not sure which friends will think it’s totally uncool and childish.”
“She’s ten.”
“Almost eleven. Sixth grade is in the middle school, you know. There’ll be dances.”
“Older boys,” he said with the voice of doom.
He expected her to laugh again, but she didn’t. “Alec, I think I need to take the kids away from L.A. You’re so important to them.” She bit her lip. “To me, too. That’s why I’ve been so reluctant to do this. But you know my parents would like to have me close, and I have to believe Matt would do better in a small town.”
The small town where she’d grown up was on a lake somewhere north of Minneapolis. Half the country away. More than half.
Alec felt sick. He had the impending awareness of devastation. In a distant part of his mind, he’d known he loved his niece and nephew, and, sure, Julia, too, as much as he dared let himself. When Josh had been killed in Afghanistan, Alec had naturally stepped in, assuming some of his brother’s responsibilities. Julia and the kids were family. That was what a man did.
Until this moment, he hadn’t understood that they were the three people he loved most in the world. He didn’t know how he could survive without them.
“Your mother drives you crazy,” he heard himself say hoarsely.
“I wouldn’t move in with them. I’d get us our own place.” Her face was pinched as she searched his face. “What would you suggest? That I close my eyes and stab a pin into a map, pick someplace to go at random?”
For a second he had double vision, those red pins floating before his eyes, and he thought with an astonishing burst of anguish, Julia. What if somehow, someway, that creep came across her? Los Feliz, the part of L.A. where she and Alec both lived, was upscale. She was pure class and beautiful. He—whoever he was—would like her. Want her. Hate her.
She and the kids would be better off, safer, away from overcrowded, smoggy, crime-ridden Southern California.
This was the moment when Alec realized he would do anything at all for her, Matt and Liana. Anything for them, and to keep them in his life even if he was painfully aware he was destined to remain on the outside looking in.
“We’ll pick somewhere,” he said. “I should be able to get a job running a police department in a peaceful small town somewhere. Don’t go home to your parents. Let’s stay together.”
The shock in her green-gold eyes was such that, for a terrifying instant, he thought he’d blown it. And then those eyes filled with tears. “I can’t ask you—”
“I’m offering.” He couldn’t let himself touch her, so he didn’t move. “I’m ready for a change, Julia.”
She pressed fingers to her lips, laughing and crying at the same time. “Oh, God. If you mean it...”
All the fear left him in a rush. “I mean it. I’ll go online and start looking tonight. I’ll let you know where I find possible job openings. You can research the towns. We’ll find the perfect one. I promise.”
There was a minute there when he thought she wanted to throw herself into his arms. But, as always, she turned away. Snatching up a dish towel, she began mopping her face.
“Do you think this is what Josh would want us to do?”
She always did that, produced his brother’s name as if she were lighting a candle at his altar.
And I’m pathetic to feel jealous. Worse than pathetic, he thought in disgust. Why wasn’t he glad she’d loved his brother so much?
“Yeah.” He pulled a smile from the hat. “Josh would say go for it.”
CHAPTER ONE
“EW, GROSS! MO-OM! Mattie just spit on the floor,” Liana whined.
“Tattletale,” her brother snarled. “And don’t call me Mattie again or I’ll make you sorry!”
The dull throbbing in the left side of Julia Raynor’s skull sharpened until she felt as if a drill bit was viciously driving through her forehead. She stole a glance in her rearview mirror to see her children glaring at each other.
She should have separated them by letting one ride in front, but she’d lost her temper this morning when they started fighting about whose turn it was.
“Both of you,” she’d snapped, “backseat. No argument. We’re not doing this.”
She’d wonder why Matt wanted to ride up front, given how thoroughly he seemed to detest her, except she knew. Keeping his sister from getting what she wanted seemed to be one of his few pleasures.
Julia’s only consolation was that she was pretty sure the sibling warfare was normal, no matter how aggravating it was from her point of view. So little about Matt seemed normal now, she’d take what solace she could.
The entire trip had been the closest thing to hell she could imagine. A step beyond purgatory. It should have been fun, an adventure. Not that long ago, it would have been.
Before Josh died. Before Matt became so angry.
Silence simmered behind her. It was like driving with a feral animal in a trap on the backseat right next to a fluffy, cheerful Maltese terrier now getting whiny and snappy out of fear, and Julia was beginning to wonder if the trap door was secure.
We could have flown. Been here in a few hours instead of the longest two days of my life.
Clenching the steering wheel, she wished she’d followed Alec’s example and sold the damn car and bought a new one when they arrived. She’d been worrying about how much life her eight-year-old Volkswagen Passat still had in it anyway. Clinging to the familiar was one thing; clinging to a cantankerous car that would not like cold winters was something else again.
“We’re almost there,” she said, hoping to stir some tiny remnant of excitement. Not that Matt had ever felt any. He was bitterly resentful about the move.
So what else is new? she asked herself wearily. For the past year and more, her son had bitterly resented every word she spoke, every decision she made.
“You keep saying that,” Liana said sulkily. Even Julia’s good-natured daughter was wearing down.
“Because we are getting closer. The sign we just passed said eighteen miles.”
“Oh.”
This time, a glance in the mirror assured her that they were both at least looking out their respective windows, as if some curiosity had surfaced.
The landscape was intriguing and very different from the brown hills and canyons of their most recent home. No ocean beaches here in central Oregon, either, although Alec assured her there were countless clear, cold lakes. The highway had been following a beautiful, tumbling river for some miles now. This stretch of Highway 97 was wooded and...knobby. Those lumps couldn’t all be volcanic cinder cones, could they? If so, they’d become overgrown with pine trees.
The fact that she was moving her children to a spot in the heart of volcano country made her a little nervous, especially now that they were here and she could see the evidence of it all around. Earlier they’d passed signs pointing to Crater Lake, which was the water-filled caldera of a truly monstrous volcano that had wrapped the entire world in black ash when it erupted 7,700 years before. She was already planning a trip back to the park in the next few weeks. Even Matt would be impressed, surely.
To the east was Newberry National Volcanic Monument, which was described in the literature as “potentially active.” The smaller cinder cones in the area—including Angel Butte—were like pimples scattered on the edges of Newberry Volcano, which didn’t rear into the sky like Mount Rainier or Saint Helens. It was a shield volcano, she’d read, primarily made up of lava flows.
Julia had educated herself about volcanoes before agreeing to this move. In the end, she’d decided that her family was in more danger from earthquakes in Southern California than they would be from the unlikely event of a volcanic eruption.
Of course, Minnesota didn’t have either. But it also didn’t have Alec, which was the deciding factor.
The truth was, she would admit only to herself, she’d have gone anywhere he’d chosen.
Not because she needed him, although she did, but because Matt needed him, too.
“It’s kind of pretty,” Liana said timidly.
“There’s nothing here.” Matt sounded stunned. “It’s, like, the middle of nowhere.”
Short of moving to a village in Alaska accessible only by fishing boat or small plane—and, oh, how tempting that idea was—Angel Butte was the closest she and Alec had been able to find to the middle of nowhere. Or so they’d convinced themselves. Alec was discovering this town had considerably more crime and corruption than he’d imagined. She could only pray it didn’t reach the middle school, where Matt would start eighth grade this fall.
The silence in the car had a different feel when they saw the sign for the turnoff to Angel Butte. They really were only minutes away from their new home. Julia was only sorry they’d have to wait a few days for their furniture and other possessions to catch up with them. Although Alec had bought the duplex where they were going to live, she and the kids would have to stay in a motel until their beds arrived.
The narrower two-lane highway swept through forestland that gradually became more open. To each side were Old West–style ranches with split-rail fences and a few horses drowsing in the midday heat. Horse-crazy Liana gazed in delight. More houses appeared, closer together, and finally a Shell gas station. With startling suddenness after that, Julia felt as if they could be back in Southern California. Alec had said a little drily that she’d be able to buy anything she needed when she got here, but he hadn’t mentioned that their small town in the middle of nowhere had Target and Walmart stores, a Petco, Staples, Kentucky Fried Chicken, McDonald’s and Red Robin.
“I’m hungry,” her daughter whined, predictably.
How could she be, after snacking all day long?
“You know Uncle Alec is eager to see us. He said he’d take us to dinner.”
Matt didn’t say anything. His respect for Alec was the only hope keeping Julia going, but he’d even been sullen with Alec during the occasional weekend visits he’d managed these past few months. Julia wasn’t sure whether Matt was afraid Alec was trying to ditch them or whether he was mad at Alec, too, because he’d conspired with Julia to move him away from his new and not-so-savory friends.
Maybe she should have stayed in San Diego after Josh died instead of uprooting the kids to Los Angeles almost right away so that she could lean on Alec.
As exhausted as she was, she wasn’t going to let such a well-worn worry take root. It was too late. She and the kids had moved, and the truth was she hadn’t wanted to stay in San Diego when all of her friends were the wives of navy SEALs. As a widow, her very presence would cast a shadow on them, and she hadn’t liked thinking about what Josh had done for a living.
“There really is an angel up there,” Liana said suddenly. “I can see her.”
“Where?” her brother demanded.
Julia, too, lifted her gaze to the top of the small butte with steep sides made up of rusty red cinders partially masked by clusters of small pine trees. Yes, there it was. She, too, caught a glimpse of white, almost a gleam, although she couldn’t make out details, not without taking her eyes from the road longer than she dared.
“Weird,” Matt pronounced. Occasionally he forgot his angry persona and still sounded like the thirteen-year-old boy he was.
“Get Uncle Alec to tell you the story of how the angel came to be there,” Julia suggested.
“You mean, she didn’t fly down from on high?” her charming son sneered, having recollected himself.
Poor Liana, stuck back there with him.
Poor me, stuck with him.
Immediately Julia felt guilty for the unmaternal thought.
Julia spotted the sign for the hotel where Alec had made reservations. She found a parking spot, set the emergency brake and reached for her phone.
Alec answered on the first ring. “Julia?”
“We’re here,” she said simply, with vast relief complicated only a little by her apprehension and guilt.
* * *
ALEC USED THE EXCUSE of steering her through the restaurant door to lay a hand on Julia’s back. Feeling the small flex of muscles beneath his fingertips filled him with exultation. He was embarrassed by the strength of it. He felt like an idiot teenager whose crush had finally agreed to go out with him. This was ridiculous. Nothing had changed between them.
He couldn’t seem to squelch it, though, damn it. He all but had neon lights in his head flashing, Julia is here, at last!
Trouble was, he’d spent months living for this day.
Waiting for the kids to emerge from the restaurant behind them, the two of them paused. He reluctantly let his hand drop.
“Let’s at least drive by the duplex,” Julia suggested, and after a moment Alec nodded.
He wasn’t looking forward to showing her, never mind the kids, their new home. Compared to the one they’d left, it wasn’t very impressive.
Julia, of course, had seen photos online and knew it didn’t match the charm of the Spanish-style stucco bungalow she had bought when she moved the kids to L.A. from San Diego after Josh’s death. There were charming houses in Angel Butte, of course, but once Alec saw the duplex for sale, he’d been so struck by the advantages of them living side by side, he’d called her to see what she thought. The idea of sharing the cost had appealed to her, too, he suspected; being able to hold on to some of the money she’d made from selling her house eased the urgency of her job hunt. She could take her time and find something she really liked. Down the line, they had agreed, they might keep the duplex as a rental property.
Dinner had been at a chain restaurant where the kids already knew what they wanted to eat. Alec was less enthusiastic, but he’d seen how exhausted Julia was and knew a fancier meal would be wasted on her. Besides, this place shared a parking lot with the hotel where he’d booked a room for her and the kids. The hotel wasn’t anything special, but it was clean and decent and had a swimming pool. He had known without asking that she wouldn’t accept if he offered to put them up at one of the area’s nicer, lakefront resorts. She had become increasingly prickly about money, probably because she worried about depending on him too much. Alec had enough pride himself to admire the same quality in others.
“I’ll drive,” he said, leading the way to his Chevy Tahoe. After flying here in February for the initial job interview and getting stuck for an extra day because of a snowstorm, he’d known his Camaro wouldn’t do. It was time, even if he hadn’t needed four-wheel drive. He’d wanted a vehicle suitable for a family. Now he felt satisfaction as the kids clambered into the back and Julia hoisted herself into the front seat.
If only they were his family rather than his brother’s.
“Your Camaro was so cool,” Matt said from the backseat. “But this is okay, I guess,” he conceded grudgingly.
Alec grinned at him in the rearview mirror. “Thank you.” He glanced at Julia. “We’ll take a spin through downtown, which is a lot more attractive than this stretch.” He explained that the commercial strip had grown up outside the city limits until a fairly recent annexation changed that. He didn’t figure they needed to hear about the headaches that annexation had brought to an understaffed police department. Once he’d been on board long enough to see the big picture, he had begun an aggressive campaign to increase funding for the department. He didn’t much like his boss, Mayor Noah Chandler, but had to concede Chandler was backing every budget demand he’d made to the city council.
He drove down the main street, once the traditional downtown when Angel Butte’s population had been a third of its current size. The hardware store, dry cleaner’s and newspaper office had retreated to side streets; the false-fronted buildings here now housed trendy bistros, boutiques, galleries and sporting-goods stores. The economy had become heavily dependent on tourism. From what he’d been told, the change had happened so quickly, old-timers were still in shock.
Thus, he figured sardonically, the reluctance to admit a small-town police department was no longer adequate.
He pointed out the redbrick public-safety building where he worked and the historic courthouse with a wing that housed city hall. They detoured by the middle school, bland as schools built in the 1970s usually were, and then the more modern elementary school where Liana would go.
Finally, he drove past the upscale part of Old Town where people with money lived, and then to the neighborhood of modest ramblers where the worker bees felt lucky to own homes. The duplex he’d bought was on a corner, which gave it a slightly larger-than-average lot, but he hadn’t done anything yet that could be called landscaping. Right now, a lawn with sun-browned patches surrounded it. A few overgrown shrubs crowded front windows. The only thing he had done to the exterior was to have the place painted, going for a dark green with cream-colored trim.
He pulled into the driveway on his side of the duplex, set the emergency brake and turned off the engine. In silence, all four of them stared at the forty-year-old rambler clearly built as a rental. Each side had a single-car garage. Two concrete walkways led from the sidewalk to the identical front doors.
Matt broke the silence. “You’re kidding.”
“This is only temporary,” Julia said uneasily. “You know that. Having Alec right next to us is ideal.”
He cleared his throat. “It’s a good neighborhood. Liana can walk to school. You can get almost anywhere in town on your bikes.”
He’d actually considered a place outside of town so Matt wouldn’t be able to get anywhere on his own, but that had other drawbacks.
“Can we see inside?” Julia asked, unhooking her seat belt.
“Sure,” he said, sounding hearty and phony even to his own ears. They got out and approached the door on the side he’d decided would be theirs. He made a business of taking the key from his ring and giving it to Julia. “Uh...it’s pretty bare-bones still,” he warned.
He was glad they hadn’t seen it before the work was done. He’d discovered that beneath the badly worn brown carpet were hardwood floors. Instead of replacing the carpet, he’d had the oak refinished to a glossy sheen. Bathrooms on both sides had new vinyl floors and shiny new fixtures. Julia knew he’d had the floors refinished, but not about the bathrooms, and he had no intention of telling her the duplex hadn’t come this way.
The kitchens he hadn’t touched yet, on his side because he hadn’t been home enough to bother, and on Julia’s side because he figured she would have her own ideas about what she wanted to do.
They moved over the threshold in a clump, even Matt sticking close to his mother. There was no entryway to speak of; the front door let straight into a cramped living room with white walls and a white-painted brick fireplace. The floors looked damn good, if he did say so, but Alec still winced at the comparison with the living room in the house Julia had just sold. It had had a bay window, glass-fronted built-ins, high ceilings and open, dark wood beams.
“There are three bedrooms,” he said, “but only one bathroom.”
“We’re going to have to schedule morning showers,” Julia said lightly.
They all peered into the bedrooms, two of them the standard ten-foot-by-twelve-foot boxes with inadequate closets. The master bedroom was only slightly larger.
He saw Julia breathe a sigh of relief when she saw the bathroom.
“Brace yourself,” he said in a low voice just before they reached the kitchen with some extra floor space optimistically designated as dining area.
Dark brown Formica countertops went with the ugly dark cabinets, which were scarred in places. The flooring was a dated orange-and-yellow vinyl that at least was in good shape.
“You should have let me have this remodeled before you got here,” Alec said, feeling inadequate as he watched them inspect their new home.
Despite her tiredness, Julia appeared undaunted now that she’d seen the worst. She smiled at him. “We’ll eat with you while the kitchen is torn apart.”
“Mine’s no better,” he admitted, looking around. “I bought new appliances, but that’s as far as I’ve gotten.”
“It’ll be fun,” she insisted.
The kids stared in disbelief. Even Liana seemed shell-shocked. Matt had an expression Alec didn’t like. There was something a little smug about it, as if he’d hoped the new home sucked. Did he imagine his mother would turn tail and retreat to L.A.?
“Who wants which bedroom?” she asked gaily, as if the two rooms weren’t virtually identical.
“I call first choice!” Liana declared, racing back toward the bedrooms.
“Like, who cares?” her brother said disagreeably, but he thundered after her anyway.
“Hey.” Seeing Julia’s expression, Alec violated his own rules and wrapped his hands around her upper arms. “You okay?”
Her laugh broke. “I’ll recover. The drive was horrible. The only time they quit squabbling was when Matt was sulking. Liana was almost as bad. She sobbed when we drove away from our house. She was sure she’d never see her friends again.”
“She may not,” he said softly.
Her face crumpled. “I know. Oh, God, Alec. Did we do the right thing?”
He wanted to promise her they had, that Angel Butte was the idyllic town they’d hoped for, but he was beginning to wonder if there was any such thing. He’d grown up in Southern California, used to the tangle of overcrowded freeways and the yellow light of smoggy mornings. He wondered guiltily what her Minnesota hometown looked like.
“I think so,” he said, unable to resist a gentle squeeze before he had to let her go. “It’s not like Liana knew her friends that long. Maybe moving so soon after the last time is hard on them, but I have to think doing it quickly is better than waiting.” He hesitated. “I’m sorry the house is so, uh, unprepossessing.”
“What?” She lifted her face to his, surprise in those extraordinary eyes. “Don’t be silly. The duplex looks like it did in pictures, except better. You’ve had more work done than you admitted to, haven’t you?”
He didn’t say anything. Normally careful to keep his distance, he hadn’t been this close to her since he’d held her after the funeral. Her skin, tanned to a pale gold, was as smooth as a child’s, her lashes surprisingly long without any help from mascara. Her upper lip had an unusually deep dip in it that made him think of the pretty mouths painted on dolls.
If he bent his head just a little...
Her eyes widened at whatever she saw on his face.
Clenching his jaw, he released her.
“What if I keep Matt tonight?” he asked. “I’ve got one of the bedrooms set up as a spare.”
“Really? You’d do that? Don’t you have to work tomorrow?”
“Yes, but I could drop him at the hotel on my way. We could all have breakfast at the Denny’s there.”
“I would love that,” she admitted. “I’ve got to tell you, I’ve been having distinctly unmaternal thoughts about him.”
Having regained his self-control after a brief but significant battle, Alec was able to laugh. “How shocking. And this was the first time?”
She chuckled, a delicious ripple of sound. “Okay. You’re right. There have been a few previous moments I’d have put him up on Craigslist if I thought I’d get any offers.”
“It’s a phase. He’ll get over it.” Alec hoped.
Julia smiled. “They’re fighting again.”
“Then let’s go separate them.”
“Okay, but first—” She astonished him by stepping closer to kiss his cheek. She was blushing when she sank back to her heels, but her eyes held his. “Thank you. I can’t tell you what this means to me, so I won’t even try. But I want you to know—”
He shook his head and took a chance, placing his finger over her lips, feeling them quiver. “No. I love those kids, too. If you’d taken them away, it would have destroyed me.”
For a moment they only looked at each other, their defenses lower than usual. He hoped she couldn’t see the part he didn’t say: losing her would have destroyed him, too.
Especially losing her.
“How come you get the biggest room?” his nephew said, startling Alec, who hadn’t noticed the kids coming back into the kitchen.
Alec leveled a stare at the kid. “Because she’s the adult and pays the bills.”
Matt contented himself with rolling his eyes.
“Uncle Alec suggested you spend the night with him,” Julia said, her tone neutral.
The boy shrugged and ducked his head. “I guess that’s okay,” he mumbled.
Not exactly enthusiastic, but close enough.
Alec studied Matt, sorry to see that he hadn’t grown to speak of in recent months. He’d been a shrimp at this age, too, a curse he had especially resented because Josh, two years older and therefore taller at every stage anyway, had grown steadily all along. The height and physical-maturity issue might have something to do with Matt’s behavior, if he’d been trying to convince his buddies that he was big and bad, too.
He was a good-looking kid, though, with the same dark hair and eyes as his dad and Alec. Alec could see Josh in his face, more square-jawed and less angular than Alec’s face. The shape of his eyes came from Julia, though.
“Then let’s take your mom and Liana to the hotel.”
His eyes narrowed and that square jaw jutted out. “Wait. Then they can go swimming and I can’t.”
Julia looked at Alec, a hint of panic in her eyes.
“It’s late,” he said. “The swim can wait until tomorrow.”
Matt grumbled during the entire drive back to the hotel. Alec contemplated how his own father would have dealt with that kind of back talk. Maybe there was something to be said for old-school parenting.
Saying good-night took only a few minutes. Julia had checked into her room earlier but their suitcases were still in the trunk of her car. Alec walked her and Liana into the lobby and watched them get onto an elevator. He couldn’t make himself move until the elevator doors closed and cut off his last sight of her. Then he went back out into the warm night, where Matt waited by the Tahoe.
Alec unlocked the doors. “Long drive, huh?”
He was treated to more bitching. Why did they have to drive? Even if Mom wanted to, she could have let them fly. Or hired someone to drive the car here.
“Every time I played my iPod, she made me turn down the volume. What difference does it make to her how loud my music is?”
“Do you know what you sound like every time you talk about your mom?”
Matt gave a one-shoulder shrug that said louder than words, Who cares?
“My father would have taken his belt to my backside if I’d talked about my mother that way.”
“You don’t know what she’s like.”
“I know your mother pretty well,” Alec said mildly.
“You just think you do,” Mattie sneered.
Alec signaled to turn into his driveway. “You make life pretty unpleasant for everyone around you when you act this way.”
Matt turned his head away. “So, who cares? You don’t have to see me. I wish you’d just let us stay in L.A. Why’d we have to move, too?”
“Because it was the right thing for all of us as a family.” Alec turned off the engine. Laying his forearm across the steering wheel, he turned enough to look at his nephew. Into the silence, he said, “Your mom and I talked to you about it.”
“I was happy there.”
“No, you weren’t.” Alec let his voice harden. “A happy thirteen-year-old boy doesn’t get drunk. He doesn’t shoplift or get in fights at school. I can’t remember the last time I saw you smile. Happy kids smile.”
Matt flashed him a dark look. “I smile with my friends. When I had friends. Which I don’t now, thanks to you. And her.”
“You’ll make new ones.” Alec watched him, then shook his head. “Come on, let’s grab your stuff.”
Maybe he should have saved the lecture. He’d become the enemy now, too. But damn it, he wasn’t willing to tolerate such disrespect for Julia, either.
They walked into Alec’s side of the duplex. Matt looked around. “At least you have a TV.”
He wanted to say, So does the hotel room, but he’d seen the relief on Julia’s face when Matt had agreed to sleep here, and nothing would make him return her demon spawn to her tonight.
“How’d your grades end up?” he asked casually, although he already knew.
Matt had the sullen shrug down pat.
“I hope you plan to try here, Mattie.”
The boy rounded on him like a cornered badger. His eyes glittered. “Don’t call me that.”
“I’ve called you that for years.”
“I’m not some dumb little kid anymore.”
Alec let his eyebrows climb. “Your dad called you Mattie.”
“You’re not my father!” the boy spat.
He needed a second to be sure he could respond calmly. “No. But I loved Josh, and I love you.”
Matt stared down at his toes.
“Matt it is,” Alec said after a moment. “Come on. You’re the first person to sleep in the guest room.”
Leading the way, he heard a muttered “Oh, wow.”
Man, Alec hoped the kid wasn’t as big a shit to everyone else as he was to his mother and now him. To the people who had authority over him, it occurred to Alec. Didn’t bode well for teachers or coaches.
Grimacing, he had to wonder if Matt would make friends in Angel Butte. Even the way he dressed was going to stand out. Around here, boys his age didn’t wear pants with the crotch hanging down around their knees and T-shirts three sizes too big. Alec hoped there wasn’t already a tattoo hidden where his mother hadn’t seen it, but where the other boys would in the locker room. Maybe not every kid at the middle school here in Angel Butte would be wholesome, but they tended to put up a better front.
Sooner or later, he and Matt would be having a serious talk about what was and wasn’t acceptable. Alec could hardly wait.
“Why don’t you come out to the kitchen once you’re settled?” he suggested.
He was treated to the sight of the bedroom door shutting in his face.
CHAPTER TWO
AT HIS FIRST SIGHT of people clustered at the base of the Public Safety Building’s front steps, Alec’s mood darkened.
And he’d been feeling unusually good, too; how could he not, having started his day over the breakfast table with Julia and the kids?
He pocketed his car keys, mentally braced himself and strode forward. If he wasn’t mistaken, that was a press conference, and no one had told him. He was even less pleased when he spotted, as the focus of the small crowd, Captain Colin McAllister, who worked immediately under him heading investigation and support services. McAllister had served as acting police chief until Alec’s arrival and really should have been given the job permanently. His resentment had never been a secret, although he saved most of it for Mayor Noah Chandler, who had blocked his hiring.
Alec had really enjoyed watching Chandler fall for McAllister’s sister. Neither of the men had been very happy about the prospect of becoming family.
Now McAllister stood on the top step, surrounded by microphones. He wore a well-cut suit and was listening to a question with his head slightly bent.
But damn, Alec was going to be pissed if McAllister had some big news he’d chosen not to share with him before holding an attention-grabbing press conference.
Closer up, he saw that some of the crowd were police department employees and passersby, drawn by curiosity. His experienced eye identified a pair of reporters, one with the Bend Bulletin and the other with the Angel Butte Reporter. A third might be a stringer for the Oregonian out of Portland, and, more annoyingly, a huge TV camera from a local news channel was there and filming.
As he neared, he couldn’t help noticing that McAllister’s expression was not expansive.
“Mayor Chandler has endorsed me,” he said with the tone of a man repeating himself. “Feel free to take your questions to him.”
Jim Henning from the Reporter caught sight of Alec. He swung away from McAllister. “Chief Raynor!” They all turned to him, faces avid.
Feeling like fresh meat, Alec took the stairs until he was at his captain’s side. “I wasn’t aware of any excitement this morning.”
“Word has been leaked that the mayor blacklisted Captain McAllister as a candidate for the position of police chief. Were you aware of his action?”
Alec flicked his captain a sidelong glance. McAllister spread the fingers of one hand in a subtle what the hell? gesture.
“I was aware,” he said.
“And yet you and he both have endorsed Captain McAllister for county sheriff,” Henning said.
“That’s correct.” He looked from face to face. “May I ask who leaked this information?”
The stringer from the Oregonian answered. “The tip came from Sheriff Brock’s campaign manager.” He sounded slightly sardonic. In not quite three months on the job, Alec had already heard plenty of stories about the incumbent sheriff, who was certainly incompetent and very probably corrupt.
“I see. As I believe Captain McAllister has already suggested, you might want to take your questions to the mayor.”
“You must know Mayor Chandler’s reasoning,” Jim Henning shot back.
Damn it. He hesitated, debating whether to stonewall the question or not. “I do know,” he said finally, “and I can tell you honestly that if I had been in the mayor’s position, I would have hired Captain McAllister. I have only the highest respect for his expertise as a law-enforcement officer, his leadership ability and his integrity.”
He smiled crookedly. “I’d have been the loser, of course, so I can’t altogether regret the decision. That said, I’m aware of the frustration many sheriff’s deputies feel with inadequate equipment and salaries, a substandard crime lab and a lack of support from the top. It’s my belief Captain McAllister is exactly what this county needs to upgrade the department. As chief of the county’s largest city, I look forward to working closely with him once he becomes sheriff.”
He held up a hand. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, the two of us are currently employed by the city.” He eyed them. “Since I assume you’re heading to city hall next, I wouldn’t want you reporting to the mayor that we’re doing nothing but hanging around chatting with all of you.”
There was general laughter. Ignoring shouted questions that were more of the same, he and McAllister entered the building.
“Why don’t you come on up to my office?” he suggested.
Without saying a word, the captain stepped onto the elevator with him, got off with him and accompanied him down the hall to the door that said Police Chief in shiny gold script.
His assistant greeted them and brought two cups of coffee before Alec had even sat down behind his desk. The moment the door closed behind her, McAllister growled, “That son of a bitch.”
“Brock?”
“Who else?”
Alec felt a spark of humor. “You might have been talking about Chandler.”
Colin sprawled into a chair. “That works, too.” He brooded for a moment. “He’s okay.”
“Your sister seems to have mellowed him some.”
He grunted.
“Do you think there’s any chance Chandler’s responsible for this leak?”
“No.” A half smile lifted Colin’s mouth. “I didn’t ask for his endorsement, you know. He offered it.”
“He could very easily give with one hand and then take back with the other,” Alec pointed out.
Colin gave a bark of laughter. “Cait would geld him if she found he’d done something like that.”
Alec had to grin.
“No,” Colin repeated. “I didn’t like his decision not to support me to take over the department here in Angel Butte, but I do understand it. He didn’t try to hide what he’d done or why. No question he can be ruthless, but he’s not underhanded.”
Alec mulled that over for a minute. He didn’t know Noah Chandler as well as McAllister did, but finally he nodded his agreement. “You’re right. He’s been honest with me. He didn’t want to hire me, either, you know.”
He wasn’t quite sure why he was telling McAllister this, but the time felt right.
Colin’s eyebrows rose. “No, I didn’t. Why not?”
“Apparently he’d chosen a candidate who was already doing essentially this job and wanted to move up to a larger city. Chandler didn’t believe I had the administrative or political experience required.”
“Guess he was wrong.”
Alec offered a smile that had been described by his officers as feral. “He was wrong.” Seeing McAllister’s amusement, Alec added, “He was also less than thrilled because I’ll be going back to L.A. a couple of times to testify. One trial in particular may pull me away for as much as a couple of weeks.”
“Unusual for a lieutenant.”
“I wasn’t one when I made this bust.” He quirked an eyebrow. “You ever read Bleak House by Dickens?”
Colin laughed. “The never-ending court case?”
“That’s this one, but it looks like it’s finally coming to a head.” He hesitated. “The murder was related to drug trafficking. I arrested the head of a cartel.”
“So you feel right at home here,” McAllister said ironically.
He lifted a shoulder in acknowledgment. “Back to my hire. I didn’t know it at the time, but I suspect a majority in the city council was seizing the chance to slap our mayor’s hand. They went along with his decision not to hire you, but reveled in the chance to also refuse to give him what he wanted.”
“Petty, but that’s politics.”
“Yeah, it is.” Alec took a swallow of his coffee. “It’ll be interesting to see what His Honor the mayor has to say to our press corps.”
“Goddamn,” Colin growled. “I was looking good in the polls.”
“Better this came out now than later,” Alec suggested. “If I’d been running Brock’s campaign, I’d have waited to spring it on voters until the final weeks before the election. As it is, you have time to counteract any dip.” Four months, to be exact. Julia had waited until school let out in L.A. to move the kids. Today was only—he glanced at the small calendar on his desk blotter—June 26.
McAllister rose to his feet. “Thank you for the support out there.” He sounded a little stiff, no surprise for a man who disliked having to depend on anyone else.
“Early on, I told Chandler he had his head up his ass. He should have hired you.”
“I’d have liked to be a fly on the wall.”
“I phrased it a little more circumspectly at the time.”
Colin was outright grinning now. “You mean, you have some political instincts after all?”
“Appears so.”
They were both laughing when McAllister left Alec alone in his office.
* * *
“DO YOU MIND if I turn on the local news before we go to dinner?” Alec gestured to the television in the hotel room.
He’d offered to spend the evening with her and the kids again. Julia was immensely grateful but was also unpleasantly conscious of being the object of his well-developed sense of obligation.
“Of course not,” she said. She narrowed a look at her daughter, who had already opened her mouth to whine.
Lately it seemed as if the kids could eat nonstop. Maybe they were both on the verge of a growth spurt. If so, she hoped they’d get it out of the way before she bought back-to-school wardrobes.
She sat next to Alec at the foot of one of the room’s two queen-size beds. Liana sat cross-legged behind them, reading. On the other bed, Matt sprawled with his eyes closed, listening to music on his iPod. Great way to shut everyone else out.
Uncomfortably aware of Alec so close to her, Julia tried to concentrate on the news.
There had been a head-on accident on Highway 97, just south of Sunriver. The anchor told viewers solemnly that there had been one fatality and a second person who had been riding in the same car was clinging to life. The driver of the vehicle that had crossed the center line had walked away. Police were awaiting the results of tests for alcohol and drug use.
Julia’s gaze slid to Alec’s profile, clean-cut, sharp-edged. She drank in the sight of his jaw, darkened by the beginnings of stubble.
The second piece came on, and Alec used the remote to raise the volume. Watching intently, he leaned forward, forearms braced on his thighs. His interest made Julia pay attention, too.
“Scandal broke today in the race for Butte County sheriff,” a young man told them. He was positioned in front of the historic courthouse in Angel Butte. “Staffers for incumbent sheriff Eugene Brock learned that police captain Colin McAllister, who has been leading in recent polls, was denied the job as police chief in Angel Butte when the mayor blacklisted him for reasons no official wants to discuss.”
The camera focused on a tall man with a craggy face. “Mayor Chandler has endorsed me,” he said tersely. “Feel free to take your questions to him.”
The reporter said, “Angel Butte police chief Alec Raynor also commented.”
Alec had joined the other man on the steps. A muffled voice could be heard. “You must know Mayor Chandler’s reasoning.”
Julia watched with intense interest.
“I do know,” he said, maintaining what she thought of as his cop face, “and I can tell you honestly that if I had been in the mayor’s position, I would have hired Captain McAllister. I have only the highest respect for his expertise as a law-enforcement officer, his leadership ability and his integrity.” He smiled faintly. “I’d have been the loser, of course, so I can’t altogether regret the decision.”
The picture returned to the reporter at the courthouse. “Mayor Chandler has been persuaded to speak to us about the rumors,” he said and held out the microphone. The image broadened to include a big, homely, tough-looking man who appeared distinctly annoyed.
“I gather Sheriff Brock is feeling challenged and felt it was time to start slinging mud.” Muscles flexed in his jaw. “All right. I’ll be blunt. Five months ago, when we first started the search for a new police chief in the wake of Gary Bystrom’s resignation, I was disinclined to hire a candidate from within the department. We had some issues that I cannot discuss without interfering with ongoing investigations. I chose to go with an outsider. I have since apologized privately to Captain McAllister. I have become convinced he would have been a top-notch police chief. My original hesitation had nothing to do with Captain McAllister himself, not personally and not with his job performance. He has my full support in this campaign. That’s all I have to say.”
The camera cut back to Alec, who was saying, “I’m aware of the frustration many sheriff’s deputies feel with inadequate equipment and salaries, a substandard crime lab and a lack of support from the top. It’s my belief Captain McAllister is exactly what this county needs to upgrade the department. As chief of the county’s largest city, I look forward to working closely with him once he becomes sheriff.”
“There we have it, Peter,” the reporter said, shaking his head in apparent bemusement. “The full support of Angel Butte’s mayor and police chief—but no real answers.”
The anchor thanked the reporter, and the channel went to a commercial. Alec turned off the television.
“That was you,” Liana burst out. She draped herself over his shoulder. “Why were they asking you questions, Uncle Alec?”
Julia saw him look sideways toward Matt, who had taken the buds from his ears and was listening, too, even if he didn’t want anyone to realize he was.
Alec hugged her. “Because I’m an important man around here, sweet pea.” More seriously, he explained that he had two captains who worked directly under him at the police department. One of them was campaigning to become sheriff of the entire county. Reporters were asking some questions about him, and of course one of the people they’d want answers from was Captain McAllister’s boss.
“That’s you,” Liana said in her often solemn way.
“Right.”
Julia had been absorbing everything he said, wanting to know what he did every day and about the people with whom he dealt. He’d already told her a bit about Noah Chandler, the mayor, who didn’t sound all that likable. She sensed undercurrents to this news story that she hoped he’d explain when he had a chance.
Alec smiled at Julia and Liana, then turned to include Matt. “Anybody hungry?”
“Yeah!” Liana bounced a few times on the bed, bobbing her mother and uncle up and down. Matt didn’t say anything, but got up and shoved his feet into the sloppy athletic shoes that made his feet look enormous. As usual, he left them untied.
Alec suggested pizza tonight and took them to a place that was already a favorite of his. After their order was in, both kids snatched the money he offered and disappeared into the small video arcade, from which beeps and roars and yelps of triumph already emerged. Matt dropped back, undoubtedly to be sure no one watching would think he was with some little kid, and a girl at that. Julia hoped there was an appropriate game for Liana. She’d have followed to help her get started, but knew Matt would resent having his mommy trailing him. Also—she couldn’t help it, but she wanted time alone with Alec, who was frowning as he took a drink of beer.
“So, was the television piece halfway fair? Or did they leave out the stuff you really wanted the public to see?” she asked.
“Huh?” He focused his dark chocolate eyes on her. “Oh, no. It was fine. In fact, I’m a little surprised they slipped my endorsement in at the end.”
She thought about it. “Do you suppose the news team is secretly anti Sheriff Brock?”
“That’s a possibility,” he said. “The guy’s scum.” He glanced quickly around as if to be sure no one was close enough to hear, then smiled crookedly. “I didn’t say that.”
“Of course not.”
“I confess, I didn’t realize small-town and rural-county politics were as dirty as the big-city version.” He shook his head. “Naive of me, I know.”
“Oh, we had a hideous mayoral race when I was in high school.” She laughed. “The challenger was a woman, which outraged the guy who had held the office for something like twenty years. According to my parents, half the time he’d run unopposed. He was heard to make some highly sexist remarks that may have appealed to the good old boys in town, but offended female voters. When she roared ahead in the newspaper poll, he dug up the fact that she’d had an abortion many years before. Unfortunately for him, he hadn’t done his research. She did have an abortion, but only after she and her husband did some soul-searching and decided not to go to term with a fetus doctors knew was unlikely to live much past birth. No matter their politics, most people sympathized with her. Mayor Anderson was thereafter doomed.”
“Deservedly so,” Alec said, amusement curving his mouth.
“Indeed. Even my father, who is terribly conservative, voted against him. Or so he claimed, anyway.”
“Your mother?”
Julia took a deep breath to combat a stab of pain. “Oh, Mom probably voted for him. I doubt she thought a woman should be in office, either.”
Alec raised his eyebrows and watched her thoughtfully. When she clamped her mouth shut, he stirred. “Isn’t it your mother you have the difficulties with?”
“Yes. Oh, both, to some extent. They’re...” She tried to think how to explain her parents. “For one thing, they’re older. I suspect I was an ‘oops’ baby. My brother and I are ten years apart, and Mom was forty-two when I was born. She’s seventy-five now, Dad a year older. They were always stricter than my friends’ parents, more rigid. Big on gender roles. To this day, I know nothing about cars or how to get a lawn mower started if it stalls.” She shook her head in frustration. “They were shocked when I wanted to go to college. I had a high school boyfriend who planned to keep working with his father on the family dairy farm. He asked me to marry him, and they were stunned when I said no and not only left for college, but went all the way out to the West Coast.”
“I didn’t know any of that.” A couple of lines had formed between his eyebrows that made him look perturbed. “You were only nineteen when you married Josh.”
“Yes, and I blame my parents for that.” She grimaced at his surprise. “Don’t get me wrong, I loved Josh. But we didn’t have to rush out and get married. I should have gotten my degree first. But in retrospect I realize that, once I did commit to a man, childhood conditioning kicked in. The little woman should step right into the support role. So much for the great escape from my past. Josh was already navy, and he wanted me with him when he was transferred. I could keep taking classes, he insisted, but, oh, gee, I got pregnant right away.”
“With the demon spawn,” Alec murmured, a smile forming.
She laughed. “You didn’t say how the night went.”
“Let’s just say I have a new appreciation of the Craigslist option.”
Oh, dear. Their number was being called, and the kids came bursting out of the arcade as if they’d been wandering in the desert for a hundred days and suddenly saw the vision of a feast laid out before them.
Julia shook her head, although the smile didn’t want to leave her lips. “Have I mentioned that I love him, too, despite everything?”
“Yeah.” Alec reached across the table and laid his hand over hers, one of the rare occasions when he voluntarily touched her. His voice was a little gravelly, but also...tender. “I know you do.”
The kids appeared, Matt bearing one pizza and Liana another, the different options the only way Julia had seen to achieve peace when they ordered.
“Can one of you go back and grab plates?” she asked.
Liana trotted off. Alec moved over on his side of the booth and Matt slid in beside him. He grabbed a slice of pizza and lifted it, cheese stretching into a long string that kept his slice attached with an umbilical cord to the mother ship.
“You might want to cut that,” Alec suggested, his tone mild but still firm.
Her son shot him a resentful look, but wound the string of cheese around his finger.
Of course, he contributed almost nothing to the conversation as they ate, although Liana chattered happily, having learned to ignore her brother’s scathing glances.
Alec had finished and pushed his plate away when he shifted on the bench seat and produced a flyer from his back pocket. It was obviously a local effort, photocopied on green paper. Tilting her head, Julia saw a logo for Angel Butte Parks & Recreation at the bottom.
“These are summer classes and activities, mostly for kids,” he said. “I spotted a few things like ballroom dance for adults. But I know you’ll want to get the kids involved, and this seems like a good way.”
Matt reared back in outrage. “No way you’re signing me up for some kind of camp for little kids!”
Julia glanced at Alec, then said only, “We’ll see.”
She spread open the brochure, Liana pressing close to her so she could see, too.
“Can I take swim lessons?” she begged. “Ooh, look. A horse camp!”
Alec smiled at her. “I knew that’s what you’d go for.”
“There’s a two-week soccer camp,” Julia read aloud, “and orienteering.” She moved her finger on the paper as she read the fine-print description. “You’d like this one, Matt.”
“I don’t need to be babysat.”
“Learning to use a compass and make your way through the woods can be useful,” Alec commented. “Your dad would have been an expert. Navy SEALs have to be able to navigate wherever they’re dropped.”
“This description mentions that the course is based on U.S. Army training,” Julia chimed in, trying not to sound unacceptably bubbly. “Minimum age is...thirteen. Wow, you qualify.”
“You mean, I could go somewhere without my little sister?” he asked sarcastically.
Liana couldn’t hide the flash of hurt, but she had enough spirit to stick out her tongue at her brother.
Alec met Julia’s gaze, his expression rueful, but he kept quiet. She’d seen him biting his tongue enough to know he wouldn’t always handle Matt’s snotty attitude the same way she did, but he was very careful not to act the part of a parent.
Depressed, she asked herself who could blame him. It was miracle enough that he was willing to do as much as he did. Even to completely uproot and move. When she’d asked Josh to choose between his family and his dangerous, high-adrenaline job, he’d chosen the job. It scared her to think Alec might hate it here in Angel Butte, so far from the high-adrenaline job he’d loved. From what he’d said, he was now stuck behind a desk, probably the last thing he’d ever wanted to do with his life.
I didn’t ask him, she argued with herself. He offered.
But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t blame her if he began to chafe at this new life.
He kept insisting they were his family, but they weren’t really, were they?
The fact that she wished they were would remain her secret.
* * *
HE NOW HAD a new challenge, Alec was disconcerted to realize: keeping his mind on the job now that he had the distraction of family. Alec was known for having a single-minded, intense focus. Back in L.A., Julia and the kids hadn’t affected him so much, because he didn’t see them daily. Apparently, things were going to be different now.
They hadn’t even been in town forty-eight hours, and whether he was conducting meetings, talking on the phone or working on procedures, his attention was split. Worry about Matt was constantly on his mind; happiness tumbled with the bleak knowledge that Julia was going to be a big part of his life, but wasn’t his.
This meeting was a good example. Alec rose to usher Naomi Wallace out of his office, hoping he’d actually taken in everything she’d told him. She was the community liaison working for the police department. This was their first meeting of any substance, although of course he’d met her and they had both attended the same meetings a few times. He shouldn’t have put this off for so long.
He thanked her for letting him know how the police department was involved in both the Fourth of July parade and fireworks and the upcoming arts-and-crafts fair taking place later in the month. “I’ll look forward to Frontier Days,” he lied, but knew Julia would love an art fair that would take over eight city blocks for three days.
Yeah, throughout the discussion he’d been thinking, I have to tell Julia about that or Good, that’ll be great entertainment for the kids.
The parade and fireworks slated for the Fourth would be a hit with Liana for sure. He was assured that this one included not only the traditional floats, honking fire trucks with firefighters throwing candy, the high school marching band and a lawn-mower drill team some local men with a sense of humor had dreamed up, but also horses. Lots of horses. The princess chosen by the Angel Butte Merchants Association didn’t ride on a float; she was slated to ride a palomino horse. Liana would be in seventh heaven. He had hopes even Matt would come around, since Alec had been told a motorcycle-stunt and drill team also participating was enough to make the most hardened citizens gasp. The Fourth was always a headache for law enforcement, but he’d already made up his mind to take the evening off. He’d keep his phone with him if he was needed, but he wanted to watch the fireworks with Julia and the kids. The Fourth was a family holiday, and he now had family.
This meeting, he reflected, was a part of the job he’d been least prepared for. He actually had learned a great deal from Naomi Wallace about his department’s role in special events—closing off roads, patrolling for maximum safety and ensuring activities met city codes.
Now, by God, he had to get back to his current focus, projecting manpower requirements and documenting his findings in a way he could sell to the city council.
He’d called up the folder on his laptop and was trying to remember whether he’d received the statistics on calls logged by patrol that he’d requested from Brian Cooper, the captain on the patrol side of the department, when his cell rang. Since he’d been struggling to focus anyway, he glanced at it with irritation.
The number was unfamiliar. Nonetheless, he picked it up. “Chief Raynor.”
“We saw you on television.” The voice was weirdly muffled. Not metallic, as if it was being electronically altered. More as if something was between the mouth and the phone receiver.
“Who is this?” he asked sharply.
“You will withdraw your support of Captain McAllister for the position of sheriff.” Muffled or not, the speaker sounded deathly serious. “If you don’t do as we ask, we can make you very sorry.”
The click was audible. His caller was gone.
The phone number was local and clearly a landline. After a moment’s hesitation, he called it. It rang half a dozen times with no answer. He redialed. Another half-dozen rings. Again.
This time he got an answer. “Jerry’s Tavern and Pool Hall,” a man said brusquely. “What can I do for you?”
“This is Police Chief Alec Raynor. Not two minutes ago, I received a call from this number.”
“Customers use it sometimes. Maybe it was a wrong number.”
“No,” he said coolly, “it was a threat.”
Silence. “I sure as hell didn’t call you.”
“I wasn’t suggesting you did. I’m asking if you saw who used the phone last.”
“I’m afraid not. Uh, I’m Jerry. This is my place. I was down in the basement grabbing a keg. There are a couple of locals in here. Let me ask.”
Jerry covered the phone, but Alec could still hear him call, “Hey, Billy! Marvin, is that you? Yeah, either of you just use the phone?” Their answers were indistinguishable. “Uh-huh,” Jerry said a couple of times. Then, “You see somebody making a call? Just a minute ago?”
He came back on. “They were playing a game of pool. Neither of ’em could see the hall from there. I had the back door open.” He sounded apologetic. “This isn’t a real busy time of day. I was bringing in supplies from a Sam’s Club run. Afraid pretty much anyone could’ve walked in and used the phone quick, if they were of a mind to.”
Alec asked a few more questions, but knew it was hopeless. Out of curiosity, he thought he might drive by Jerry’s and see how easily a passerby could have seen a way to slip in and use that phone, unseen.
He wanted to think it was a prank call, but well-developed instincts said no. One of Sheriff Brock’s increasingly desperate staffers? More likely. If so, Alec doubted the threat was real.
He couldn’t dismiss it altogether, though. Fanatics could be found anywhere. Frowning, he sat thinking about the call. He wasn’t worried about himself. He’d been a cop too long to ever be anything but wary. What he didn’t like was knowing that he now had an Achilles’ heel.
Three of them, to be precise. And, although his home address was and would stay unlisted, it wouldn’t be hard to follow him home. Or even just ask around. This small city more often felt like a small town to him. Everyone knew everyone. And anybody watching him would see quickly that the woman and children living on the other side of the duplex weren’t just renters.
But the caller hadn’t mentioned them, he reminded himself. Anyone in law enforcement got used to being threatened. This one hadn’t been atypical. He couldn’t deny that it had unsettled him, though.
Tell Julia?
No. All he’d do was upset her and make her overprotective, which wouldn’t go over well with Matt right now.
He swore aloud, disconcerted when he heard his voice. Damn it, he was overreacting.
One thing he could do was check with Noah Chandler and find out whether he’d had a similar call. Chandler wouldn’t be any more likely to give in to that kind of pressure than Alec was, but, like Alec, he had recently acquired an Achilles’ heel of his own. In fact, if Alec wasn’t mistaken, Chandler’s wedding to Colin McAllister’s sister was only a couple of weeks away. He had an invitation.
Alec wondered if any security had been planned for the wedding.
It was a good ten minutes before he could drag most of his attention back to his required-manpower projections for the city of Angel Butte.
CHAPTER THREE
TWO DAYS LATER, they were moved into the duplex, a huge relief to Julia after the aeon she and the kids had spent trapped together, first in the car and then the hotel room. At least with three bedrooms, each of them had a refuge. She would have been ashamed to admit to anyone else how grateful she was for the hours Matt usually spent holed up in his bedroom.
The one drawback was that the kids’ bikes arrived on the moving truck along with the furniture, and now that he had wheels, she couldn’t think of a good reason to forbid Matt from disappearing to who knew where.
Thank heavens for the positives she was able to cling to as the first week in their new home went on. Number one, of course, was Alec. He was there. Eating with them every evening, quietly interceding with Matt, teasing Liana, giving Julia a sounding board. He was everything she’d wanted Josh to be, and while making a comparison like that disturbed her, she was too grateful for Alec’s solid presence to let herself dwell on whether she was a dreadful person for contrasting him with Josh.
Second, Matt had yet to pull anything awful, like get drunk or be caught shoplifting, or even get into a fight. He wasn’t exactly a delight, but she was letting herself hope, if only a tiny bit. Could having Alec so much more involved in their lives be making a difference?
And then there was the fact that, despite her shyness, within a day Liana had made tentative inroads with a neighbor girl.
Bothered that the girl seemed to be home alone all day, Julia kept an eye out the front window near the end of the third day. When she saw a car turn into that driveway, she strolled over to meet Sophie’s mother, who introduced herself as Andrea Young. Obviously feeling a need to explain why her daughter was alone during the day, Andrea immediately started talking about her divorce and the fact that her ex had shortly thereafter moved to Texas. To her credit, she kept an eye on the girls to be sure her daughter wasn’t overhearing her. The ex called occasionally, Andrea said with some bitterness, and that was about it.
“I count my blessings he’s paying his child support so far.” She cocked her head. “You on your own, too?”
“I’m a widow.” Julia hated saying that, seeing the instant sympathy. “My husband was military. The blessing is that we do have death benefits, so I’m not as strapped financially as most single mothers. As soon as we’re settled in, I’ll be job hunting, though.” She explained about her relationship to Alec and said that they’d decided to move to a smaller town for the sake of the kids, without being specific about her troubled son.
Both women continued to watch the girls, who were playing hopscotch on the sidewalk, having drawn the squares with colored chalk Julia had provided. Sophie was apparently artistic, as she’d gotten Liana to help her decorate the sidewalk for several additional squares in each direction with elaborate, intertwined curlicues. They’d probably had more fun doing that than they were having now playing such a childish game, even though they kept making mistakes—seemingly on purpose—and then giggling madly.
Julia mentioned Liana’s upcoming birthday, when she’d turn eleven.
“Sophie’s twelve,” Andrea said, a slowness in her voice. “It’s legal to leave her alone now, but I’d rather not. Full-time day care is so expensive, though, and she begged not to have to do it, anyway. This in-between age is hard. She’ll be able to ride her bike to some of the Parks Department activities. I make her call me anytime she leaves the house.”
She sounded helpless and maybe hopeless, too. Julia sympathized. Both emotions had become familiar to her.
“I plan to sign my kids up for some of those activities, too. If she’s interested in any of the same things Liana is, I’ll be glad to chauffeur Sophie, too.”
When Andrea invited her in for a cup of coffee, Julia was happy to accept. The two mothers pored over the Parks & Recreation Department schedule. Then they called the girls in for a consultation.
The two-week horse day camp was a definite go, as were swim lessons. Sophie and Liana weren’t quite at the same level, but the advanced class took place right after the intermediate, and Julia insisted that it wouldn’t kill any of them to hang around the pool for an extra half hour one way or the other. Sophie wrinkled her freckled nose at the idea of ceramics class, but thought she might like tap dancing.
Studying the two girls, Julia was disconcerted to see that, only one year older, Sophie was developing a figure. She didn’t wear a bra yet, but she probably would be before she started back to school. Which, in her case, would be middle school here in Angel Butte. In L.A., Liana would have been starting middle school, too. Thank goodness she wasn’t here. The fact that the two girls would be separated for school in September would probably kill this budding friendship, but as far as Julia was concerned, if it lasted the summer, she’d be happy.
Now, if only there was a nice neighbor boy Matt’s age.
But she didn’t kid herself that Matt would want anything to do with a nice boy.
Which left her worrying about what he was doing when he rode away on his bike and didn’t return home for two or three hours at a time.
When she asked, he only glared at her. “There’s nothing to do around here. I’m just, like, riding my bike, okay?”
Her offer to help with Sophie was rewarded only a few days later, when Sophie shyly invited Liana to go to a movie with her on Friday night. The invitation included Matt, too, if he would like to see a blow-’em-up thriller that Andrea had noticed was also at the multiplex and running at close to the same time.
Guilt induced Julia to offer to go with Matt, which earned her a look that almost reminded her of the much more likable boy he’d once been.
“You’d hate that movie,” he said.
She grimaced. “Probably. Still, if you want company...”
He remembered he despised her and sneered, “Sure. My mother. Yeah, thanks but no thanks.”
Knowing she should feel rejected, Julia could only be relieved.
After the kids left, she tried to convince herself that she was blissfully happy alone and wouldn’t even notice if Alec didn’t come home right after work. Or came home only to change clothes because he had a date.
Of course, every time she heard a passing vehicle, her head came up. She hadn’t quite memorized the sound of his SUV yet.
She couldn’t miss it when he pulled into the driveway so close by, though, and only a minute later her doorbell rang. Her pulse accelerated even though she’d half expected him.
He had already shed his suit coat and tie. The cuffs of his white shirt were rolled halfway up strong forearms. He looked tired, she saw, but smiled when he saw her. “Hey. You and the kids want to go out for pizza or something?”
“It so happens the kids have already gone out for burgers and a movie.” She paused for effect. “Without me.”
One eyebrow tilted up, giving his face a wicked cast. “A fairy godmother?”
“Andrea.”
He knew about Liana’s new friendship, but still looked surprised. “Did you hog-tie Matt or drug him into compliance?”
She told him the arrangement for separate but equal movies. “He’ll probably sit at a separate booth at McDonald’s or wherever they went, too, but Andrea seemed to understand. I haven’t started dinner yet, but if you’re okay with something simple—”
“I vote we go out,” he said. “Someplace decent.”
“You mean someplace the kids would boycott?”
She loved his smile. “You got it.”
He suggested Chandler’s Brew Pub, owned by the mayor. There was a live band scheduled, but he thought not until later in the evening. Julia quickly changed, had second thoughts over her choice and would have started over if she hadn’t been so aware of Alec waiting.
When he saw her wearing slim-fitting black pants, heels and a shimmery tunic-length sleeveless sweater, his eyes had a glint that raised heat in her cheeks. It wasn’t the first time she’d seen that expression on his face, but she hadn’t decided what to make of it. If he was attracted to her, he obviously didn’t plan to act on it. Maybe he was only being politely appreciative.
“You look about twenty-two,” he told her. “No one would believe you have a kid Matt’s age.”
“That makes you a dirty old man to be giving me the once-over,” she suggested lightly.
He laughed. “It’s been quite a few years since I’ve looked over a girl that age with anything approaching serious intent.”
She felt a small burst of pleasure. Was he implying he had serious intent where she was concerned?
But when he stepped so ostentatiously aside to let her exit ahead of him, ultracareful not to brush against her, the thrill died as if he’d dumped cold water on it. No, of course not. He thought of her as a sister. What else?
Oh, God, she was so pathetic. Foolishly in love with her brother-in-law.
She had to be sure he never knew. For the hundredth time, at least, she reminded herself that of course she should be glad he didn’t feel the same. His indifference reduced any temptation on her part, and yes, that was good.
Alec was steadfast with her and the kids in a way Josh had never been, that was true. But in one essential way, he was too much like his brother. She’d always known that. She’d listened to the two of them talk so many times, voices laconic as they casually exchanged stories of terrifying exploits, but the excitement they felt seeping through.
Yes, but are they really so much alike? asked a voice in her head, one she’d heard more often lately. Alec made a decision Josh never would have, didn’t he?
But he could still regret it. He could still go back.
And while he called himself a desk jockey now, she saw the way his head turned as they walked to his Tahoe, his expression flat. Julia knew he was conscious of everyone and everything within a block radius, down to any shadow of movement passing behind the reflected sunlight on windows.
Once a street and vice cop, always one.
Please don’t let him be too bored.
Yesterday had been the Fourth of July. Since fireworks were shot off the crater rim of Angel Butte, they had been able to put lawn chairs on Alec’s small patio and watch from there. Liana had oohed and aahed while Matt, predictably, appeared bored. The show wasn’t as spectacular as some they’d seen, but they also hadn’t had to fight crowds, spend ages searching for parking and walk miles for a good spot for viewing. To Julia, this felt...magical. All of them together in the dark, in their own yard.
All the neighbors were outside, too. After the fireworks show, people started lighting their own smaller ones. Andrea and Sophie came over. While the girls swooped across the lawn waving sparklers, Matt and Alec set off fireworks Alec had bought, murmuring together and laughing. Watching them, Julia had felt the sting of tears in her eyes from, oh, a complicated mix of gratitude and joy, and sadness, too.
Talking about last night carried her and Alec through the short drive to downtown. The police department had gotten the predictable complaints, there’d been a few minor injuries but no serious ones and he was pleased at how his officers had handled the holiday.
He found street parking less than a block from Chandler’s. On a Friday night like this, the sidewalk was busy. He stepped around her to be sure he was walking on the curbside, and actually went so far as to lay a hand on her back. The warmth of it burned through the thin knit of the sweater. She was kept from feeling flattered, though, by his expression, which was oddly distant as he kept watch around them, much as he had between her front door and his SUV.
Had he always been so...protective? Funny, she didn’t remember ever noticing until recently. If he hadn’t been edgy in L.A., she couldn’t imagine why he’d be so here. Surely she was imagining things.
He held open the door to Chandler’s. They’d barely stepped in when she heard a groan, almost but not quite beneath his breath. She looked at him, surprised.
He bent so his mouth was close to her ear. “Chandler’s here. Thank God, it looks like he’s well into his meal, so neither of us will feel obligated to suggest we make it a foursome.”
The handsome and absurdly young man serving as host greeted Alec as Chief Raynor and ushered him and Julia straight to a table that had just been cleared by a busboy. The route took them close to the booth where a man she recognized from that television news interview sat with a beautiful woman with pixie hair and intriguing earrings that shimmered in the light when she turned her head.
Alec’s hand splayed on Julia’s back again and he steered her over to the booth. “Chandler,” he said with a polite nod. “Cait. I’d like you to meet my sister-in-law, Julia Raynor. Julia, our mayor and my boss, Noah Chandler, and his fiancée, Cait McAllister.”
In a surprisingly gentlemanly gesture, the mayor slid out of the booth and rose to his feet. He took Julia’s hand in his much larger one. “Good to meet you. We’ve all been hearing about you.”
She laughed. “Hmm. I think I’ll refrain from asking what he had to say.”
Noah Chandler was an intriguing man, she realized. She remembered the word tough coming to mind and even thinking he was kind of ugly, but in person...he was really a very sexy man, if big enough to be alarming to her. And the smile on his fiancée’s face was genuine and warm.
“We didn’t know if you’d arrive in time or not,” Cait said, “but Alec has an invitation to our wedding and we hope you’ll come, too.”
Julia returned the smile. “I’d love to come. You should have made the wedding on the Fourth, and you could have had a fireworks send-off.”
Noah’s grin was downright rakish. “Oh, there’ll be fireworks.”
Cait laughed, rolled her eyes and blushed all at the same time.
The host was politely waiting to one side, clutching menus, so Alec excused them and they allowed themselves to be seated by the window.
Not until they were alone did she laugh. “Okay, why the groan? He seems nice enough.”
“Nice isn’t the word that comes to mind to describe Mayor Chandler,” Alec said drily. “He’s improving on acquaintance, though.” He glanced their way. “I did tell you about Cait getting kidnapped and Noah rescuing her, didn’t I?”
“Yes, sort of.” Her forehead wrinkled as she thought back. It had all happened during her last few days getting herself and the kids ready to leave Los Angeles. As she remembered it, he’d said they “had some excitement here in Angel Butte.”
“But I hadn’t met anybody you were talking about, and mostly I was having a quiet panic attack because our handpicked town didn’t sound nearly as safe as I’d imagined it. So tell me again.”
“Let’s choose our meals first, before the waiter shows up,” he suggested.
Since she’d had it with pizzas and burgers, she went with an interesting-sounding wrap, while Alec ordered a steak. Once they had their salads and a Cabernet from a Willamette Valley winery, he told her the story in more detail.
She had also seen Cait McAllister’s brother during that news clip. He was the police captain who was running for county sheriff, the one the mayor admitted having blacklisted for the job of police chief. Cait had lived in Angel Butte as a child, but hadn’t been back since she was ten years old. Only recently had she moved here to be near her brother. Within days of her arrival, impulsive words spoken to a barely remembered acquaintance made her the target of a killer. She’d eventually remembered as a child seeing two men burying something, and one of the two was the man she’d spoken to.
“After they filled in the hole back then, they poured a concrete patio over it,” Alec told her. “Once Cait pointed us to the right place, we broke it up and, no surprise, found bones.” He grimaced. “In a bizarre twist of fate, the dead man was Chandler’s father. Solved what had been a mystery in his life.”
She listened, intrigued, as he told her more about Noah. He owned two more restaurants besides the one here in Angel Butte, but evidently had enough energy left over to have decided to run for mayor.
“Consensus is, the last mayor was known for turning a blind eye to a lot of shady practices, while Chandler may be an SOB but is scrupulously honest.” Alec shrugged.
Their salads arrived, and they both picked up their forks.
“Back to the story,” he said after a moment.
Cait had survived one murder attempt, after which her brother and Noah both had done their damnedest to keep her safe, according to Alec. Watching anyone 24/7 was next to impossible, though. Perhaps inevitably, she’d been left alone for the few minutes that allowed the killer to grab her.
It was Noah who had rescued her, at high cost to himself. The bullet had come close to killing him.
“Gutsy thing Chandler did,” Alec conceded. “He’s barely back at work.”
She smiled at his air of grudging admiration. “Come on, you like the guy.”
He grinned crookedly. “Like I said, I’m warming to him.”
She laughed, studying him across the table. Noah Chandler definitely had sexual charisma that would have any woman giving him at least a second glance, but as far as she was concerned, so did Alec...times ten.
There were moments when her heart caught at his resemblance to her husband, but more often she would wonder why he didn’t look more like Josh. Both men had the near-black hair of their Italian mother as well as her rich brown eyes. Josh had been an inch or two taller and definitely broader, although some of that might have been because of the conditioning he had to maintain as a navy SEAL. His face had been wider, his features less sharply defined. Alec had a lean, greyhound elegance his brother had lacked. Josh in general had been more physical, less thoughtful. He always wanted to be doing something. He’d drag one of the kids out to kick the soccer ball or practice pitching. He’d started teaching Matt to surf. Evenings, he and Matt would retire to Matt’s bedroom, where she’d hear them hooting and groaning as they played video games. Josh was so competitive, it had become a joke between them—but what was funny when she was twenty-two had become less so as the years went by.
Alec, she thought, was more subtle. He was hard to read; it was rare to catch naked emotion on his face. She suspected he, too, liked to come out on top when it came to the important things, but he was relaxed about the little everyday moments that to Josh were all a contest. The irony to her was that, as a SEAL, Josh had needed to be able to take initiative, but in a more cosmic sense he was always following orders. What if he disagreed with the politics behind a military action? she would ask, and without fail he’d deal the patriot card. Meanwhile, she’d watched Alec steadily rise in the hierarchy, accepting the loss of action so that he could gain command and the ability to make the decisions.
For the first time, she identified the key difference between the brothers. For all that he was a warrior, Josh had remained boyish in his motivations. Boyish was not a word that would ever occur to her in relation to Alec. He was all man, and had been for a long time.
Part of what made him a man was his unwavering sense of duty. For all she knew, he didn’t even like her. But, by God, she was his brother’s widow, her kids were his niece and nephew, and so he would take care of them.
What scared her most was to think that he might stay single because of a commitment to her, when he didn’t love her at all.
Oh, dear God. I should have said no. I should have taken the kids and gone home to Minnesota, she thought, the squeeze of panic stealing her breath. I shouldn’t have let him make such a huge sacrifice for us.
“Do you hate your job here?” Her voice came out thin, and under the table her fingernails bit into her palms.
He stared at her. “What brought that on?”
“I don’t know.” She fought to recover her poise, to keep him from knowing how close she sometimes was to a complete breakdown. “Belated second thoughts, maybe?”
“You think you forced this on me.” Those dark eyes read her too well.
“I didn’t mean to, but—” she closed her eyes briefly before she could finish “—I think I did.”
“No.” The one word came out harsh. “Damn it, Julia! I didn’t know you were still thinking like this. If you’d taken the kids and gone back to Minnesota, I’d have gotten hired as police chief there whether you liked it or not. I’d have followed you.”
“Because you think that’s what Josh would expect.”
Now she really couldn’t tell what he was thinking.
“No,” he said finally, calmly.
It was her turn to stare. Was he implying...? But he couldn’t be.
“I used to lump you and Josh together, in a way,” she heard herself say.
A flicker of some emotion passed through his eyes. “Except that you were married to Josh,” he said after a moment.
She flapped her hand. “You know what I mean.”
“No, I don’t.”
“I thought you were both addicted to taking risks. That you’d chosen the careers you did because parachuting in the dark under gunfire or kicking in a drug dealer’s door gave you the ultimate high.”
His jaw bunched. “You mean, you thought we were a pair of adolescents.”
Julia bowed her head, unable to hold that intense gaze. “Not quite, but...I suppose I believed there was an element of that in both of you.”
“Did Josh know you felt that way?”
“Yes,” she said softly, trying not to remember that last, terrible fight and the things she’d said. She had to live forever with that memory, but she didn’t have to tell anyone else about the end of her marriage.
“It didn’t occur to you there was any idealism in our career choices?” Alec asked. “To you, we were just a couple of cowboys out for a good time?”
“I said an element!” she shot back, shaken to realize he was angry. “I understood how dedicated Josh was. And you, too. I just—” She couldn’t go on.
“What, Julia?” he asked inexorably.
She shook her head.
To her shock, he laid his hand over hers. “Tell me,” he said, his voice gentler.
“I started to resent it.” Not wanting to see his expression, she looked at his hand, so much larger than hers, broader across, at the thickness of his wrist and the dark hairs dusting his forearm. “At home, all he did was kill time. I could tell he was waiting for a mission, for his real life. The kids loved him, but he was more like a playmate than a father.” Finally she lifted her gaze to meet his dark eyes. “Don’t get me wrong. I was proud of him. Somebody has to do the job he did. He worked hard to do it well. He was courageous. I know that.” Her voice broke and she had to take a moment to collect herself. “But I came to realize we weren’t nearly as important to him as that job was. And call me petty, but the day came when I resented having to be a single parent while he was always off saving the world.”
She saw understanding on Alec’s face, but also something more indefinable. He removed his hand, and she saw his fingers curl into fists on the tabletop.
“So that’s why you were so shocked when I suggested we all move together.” He sounded careful, as if he wanted to be sure he understood how she saw him.
“Yes!” She glared. “Do you blame me?”
Again those muscles gathered in his jaw, before he moved his shoulders and the tension visibly drained from him. “No, I guess I can’t. I thought we knew each other better than that, but I realize Josh couldn’t talk about what he did, and it never crossed my mind that you were very interested in what I did all day.”
“Of course I’m interested.”
One corner of his mouth turned up in a half smile that didn’t touch his eyes. “Then I’ll start talking. To tell you the truth, there are times I’d like nothing better than being able to lay ideas out or vent to someone who doesn’t have a horse in the race.”
“Unbiased.”
He dipped his head without taking his gaze from her. “Yeah.”
“Then I won’t do.” She felt her smile wobble. “Because I am biased. I’m on your side.”
“God, Julia.” His voice was hoarse, his emotions momentarily unguarded.
Her heartbeat did some wobbling, too.
The waitress appeared with their entrées, probably a fortunate interruption. Julia noticed that Noah Chandler and his fiancée were leaving, Noah pausing only to nod at Alec, who did the same. She wondered what they’d conveyed with that very restrained exchange.
“Men don’t always understand what women need,” Alec murmured, momentarily confusing her. Then she saw the amusement that lightened the depth of emotion they’d both been feeling.
“I have noticed,” she responded.
He laughed, although she sensed he might be forcing it. “When you need something from me, tell me. Otherwise, I won’t know.”
Your heart. I need you to love me.
He would tell her he did. Like a sister.
“Anything,” he added, sounding husky.
They looked at each other for an uninterrupted stretch that had warmth rising in her cheeks as she wondered crazily what he meant.
Anything.
“I never suspected,” he said after a moment.
“Suspected what?” She didn’t sound quite like herself, but if he noticed he gave no indication.
“I assumed you and Josh were completely happy.”
“Don’t you think any marriage has tensions?”
“Maybe. I don’t know. I’ve never tried it.”
“Why not?” she asked. “Have you ever come close?”
He shook his head. “I love my parents, but I wouldn’t want what they have.”
She nodded her understanding. Norman Raynor was a tense, rigid, demanding man who both dominated and dismissed his wife. Even Josh, not often given to self-reflection, had talked some about his father’s expectations for his boys and his contempt for women. At the time, Julia had thought to be grateful that Alec and Josh didn’t have a sister. She had blamed Norm for his sons’ choice of careers, too; he had been a firefighter who thought men should be men. Mostly he and Rosaria had been great with the kids, but Julia hadn’t been enthusiastic about her children spending a lot of time with their grandfather as they got older and more conscious of things like gender roles.
“I feel sorry for your mother.”
“She made her bed.” Apparently realizing how harsh that sounded, Alec shook his head. “I don’t mean that. No matter how bad the marriage is, she’d never leave him. If nothing else, her faith wouldn’t let her. But it’s more than that. I’m not sure she even notices how he treats her anymore. I remember from when I was little how happy she was. Laughing and singing all the time.” His mouth crooked up and his expression softened. “Good smells from the kitchen, fresh flowers from her garden on the table, an Italian tenor bellowing from the stereo.” He grimaced. “Of course, the music went off when Dad walked in the door, and if Mama was lucky, he’d grunt his appreciation for amazing food. The change in her was gradual. She’d listen to music less and less often, smile less. By the time Josh and I were in high school, she’d lost any gift for happiness. I don’t know if she’d recover it even if he dropped dead of a heart attack tomorrow.”
Julia couldn’t help herself. She touched him, only fleetingly, her fingertips to the back of his hand, but it was enough to draw a startled, somehow riveted stare from him.
“Were their feelings hurt that we moved away?” she asked, as much to distract him as anything. His parents hadn’t said much to her, but she’d never been sure how they felt about her anyway.
As a distraction, her question worked. Alec gave a grunt of his own. “Couldn’t tell with Mama. Dad thought me quitting my job was asinine. I’d be a captain before I knew it, maybe rise to chief of the LAPD. He knew how to bring Matt into line, and it didn’t involve pampering the kid or uprooting the whole damn family. ‘My belt’s still good for something,’ he said.”
Julia shuddered. They were both silent for a moment.
“I always thought I might be more like him than Josh was,” Alec said unexpectedly. “Josh was more...happy-go-lucky, for lack of a better term. I internalize everything.”
Yes. She’d seen that.
“I was thinking something like that,” she admitted. “The only thing is, Josh was only happy when he was in motion. Eventually I started wondering if he had an attention deficit disorder, but surely he’d have had to be patient, I don’t know, crouched somewhere waiting for the bad guys to make a move. I know he was smart, but he almost never picked up a book. Even TV bored him. He could sit down for about the length of a meal, then he’d get twitchy and leap up and need to do something.”
“Yeah, he had some trouble in school. Far as I know, he was never diagnosed, but—” He put down his fork and seemed to mull that over. “Actually, I don’t know if that’s true or not. Dad would probably have given hell to any teacher or school administrator who tried to lay the blame for Josh’s issues on some problem in his brain when obviously they were lacking. He limped through graduation, but he enlisted the minute he graduated. Never crossed any of our minds that he might go on to college.”
Somehow the conversation drifted after that. First Alec and she exchanged their own experiences in higher education. She shook her head over her idiocy in dropping out before getting her degree, Alec telling her his father had belittled his own determination to get his.
“‘Why waste your time?’ he’d say. ‘You should have gone straight to the police academy. Think of the street experience you’d have by now.’ He’d shake his head. ‘You’ve been to school for thirteen years already. Why would you want to write a paper about Robert E. Lee’s military mistakes or the fact that some damn philosopher tried to prove himself wrong?’”
“Some damn philosopher?” she queried.
“Descartes. He was determined not to be smug in his beliefs.”
“So he tried to prove he was wrong.”
“Right.” Alec shook his head. “Funny Dad should have chosen that paper to disparage, because I take Descartes’s theories about self-doubt seriously. Whenever I go too far out on a limb, I think, hold on, remember Descartes, and take the other side. Sometimes I actually do convince myself I was wrong.”
“I’m impressed,” she said, smiling. “You actually demonstrate the value of those college classes on a day-to-day basis.”
He smiled, too. “I told you, I internalize everything.”
She had been so wrong about him, Julia thought as they finished dinner and returned to the Tahoe. Why hadn’t she ever noticed how different he was from her husband?
Of course, she knew the answer in part. While she was married, she hadn’t let herself dwell on any feelings in particular for Josh’s brother. And later—it had taken her a long time to emerge from the grief and the guilt, and by then she was consumed by her children’s needs. For all the time she and Alec had spent together, most of their conversations had to do with the kids, Matt in particular. It alarmed her a little to realize that this evening, she and Alec had been, for possibly the first time, only a man and woman. She couldn’t help wondering if he’d made any discoveries about her.
She was more self-conscious than usual when they got back to the duplex. The kids weren’t due back for another half an hour. I could invite him in, she thought, but had the unsettling thought that doing so might be dangerous. She didn’t dare betray her feelings to him, not if she was going to continue to depend on him the way she had been. She’d be foolish to misinterpret the expression in his eyes when he’d said, When you need something from me, tell me.
So she thanked him for dinner, made her excuses and shut the door firmly on the man standing on her doorstep. The one whose voice had become husky when he implied he would give her anything at all.
Inside, heart thumping, she knew her greatest fear having to do with him was that he’d give what she asked, but for all the wrong reasons. Even the idea of that was unbearable.
CHAPTER FOUR
“YOU DIDN’T FOLLOW instructions,” said the hollow voice. It wasn’t any more distinct than it had been during the previous phone call, but Alec was damn sure the speaker was the same man.
His phone had rung while he was waiting for a table at a deli near the police station and having the passing thought that he could have called Julia to see if she wanted to meet him. Of course, she’d probably have had to bring Liana, at least, which would have killed his fantasy of being alone with her, something he’d begun to crave.
Seeing the unfamiliar number, he had stepped back outside. Traffic noise wasn’t a lot better than the buzz of a roomful of people talking, but at least he wouldn’t be overheard. With his back to the brick wall, he gazed unseeing at passing vehicles. He’d trace the phone number, but he was betting on a throwaway.
The fact that he’d been thinking about Julia when this son of a bitch called to issue another threat roused all his protective instincts.
“Something you should know about me,” he said. “I don’t respond to threats or blackmail.”
“One last chance,” the muffled voice told him, and the call was over.
He brooded as he stowed his phone. The first call had come less than two days after Julia’s arrival in Angel Butte. He couldn’t see how her showing up could have triggered anything. Probably one had nothing to do with the other...but he’d been police chief here in Angel Butte since the first of April. Only now that he had family was anyone threatening him. Yeah, that made him nervous.
Today was July 12, which meant two weeks had elapsed since the first threat. That was remarkably patient of the caller, he reflected.
After a moment’s thought, Alec dialed the mayor’s mobile number. It only rang once.
“Raynor?”
“I just got a second anonymous call,” he said.
“Threatening?”
He thought about it. “By implication. I’m told I have ‘one last chance.’”
“Why aren’t they calling me, too?” Chandler asked.
“Good question. I’m the new boy in town. Your support for McAllister has to have more impact than mine.”
There was a pause. “Maybe, but could be they figure they undercut my support enough by getting the word out that I refused to hire him as chief of the department here in Angel Butte.”
“That’s possible,” Alec conceded. A smile twitched at his mouth. “It’s also possible your reputation precedes you.”
“As a hard-ass?” Noah Chandler sounded amused.
“Something like that.”
He chuckled. “You plan any action?”
“I don’t think I’ll bother with the campaign manager this time. I’m going straight to Sheriff Brock himself.”
“Good,” the mayor said. “You’ll let Colin know?”
Alec agreed he would.
“Anything on Bystrom?”
The subject of the previous Angel Butte police chief was a sore one for Mayor Chandler. Alec was more accustomed to the slow pace of justice. One of the reasons arresting officers were so careful to document their every action and thought was that, by the time that arrest actually came to trial, assuming it ever did, they’d long since forgotten the details. He understood the mayor’s frustration, though.
During what turned out to be an unrelated investigation last year, Colin McAllister had stumbled on evidence suggesting the former police chief was corrupt. With Chandler’s backing, McAllister had gotten a warrant for Gary Bystrom’s financial records, which showed a sizable second income from mysterious sources. Tracing the source of those deposits was something the federal Drug Enforcement Agency could do better than a local police department. Angel Butte P.D. was part of a regional coalition of law-enforcement agencies, including the DEA, focusing on drug trafficking. They were all working right now on tying failed raids or other favors to the dates of some of those payments to the former police chief.
In the wake of Bystrom’s resignation and the ensuing investigation, McAllister and now Alec had been forced to look hard at their own officers. Gary Bystrom hadn’t been known as a hands-on police chief. Somebody would have had to tip him off to upcoming raids or other actions for him to have useful information to pass on. To date, five officers had been identified as having accepted bribes, some directly from Bystrom, some from the same sources who had paid off the police chief. All five had been fired. Alec was far from satisfied that the house was totally clean, but was starting to feel as if this had become more of a witch hunt than a dispassionate investigation. It had been weeks since he’d found anything that would justify further warrants. If the department harbored any more crooked cops, he could only hope they’d see the writing on the wall and look for jobs elsewhere.
“I left another message with the agent in charge” was all he could offer now.
Chandler grunted, wordlessly expressing dissatisfaction.
“You know it’s going to be out of our hands anyway,” Alec reminded him. “They’ll want to file charges in federal court.”
“As long as his ass goes to jail,” Chandler said flatly.
Alec agreed. He hadn’t met the man who’d preceded him in office, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t despise him. Alec had spent the past three and a half months untangling and fixing everything the son of a bitch had let go out of sheer laziness, never mind the elastic morals and the greed.
He and Chandler left it at that.
* * *
WHEN THE PHONE RANG, Julia pounced on it. “Alec?”
“Yeah.” He sounded tired. “Sorry to have run so late. Have I missed dinner?”
Most nights he ate with them. She’d told him all he had to do was let her know, that he was always welcome but shouldn’t feel pressured to give up every evening for them, either. As far as she knew, the couple of dinners he’d missed were because of work obligations.
“No, you’re not the only one running late.” She hesitated, not wanting to dump anything else on him right now, but he’d notice when he got here if Matt was still missing. “My darling son has also failed to appear, even though I told him what time I’d planned dinner for.”
Alec’s voice sharpened. “Do you know where he is? I can pick him up.”
“Not a clue. After lunch when I asked where he was going, he said ‘around.’”
She’d seen Matt’s attitude deteriorating these past few days but hadn’t yet said anything to Alec. She wanted desperately to believe she was imagining things, but now...she couldn’t delude herself anymore.
“Do you want me to try to talk to him?” Alec offered.
She hesitated. They were already depending so heavily on him. “I don’t want you to damage your relationship with him.”
“Julia, I’m on your side, not his.” He sounded implacable. “I may not be his father, but I’m the next best thing. The way I see it, you and I have to stand together.”
She didn’t cry easily or often, but hearing such a strong message of support had her eyes burning. “Thank you” was all she could manage to say, and that was with a thick voice. “I’m not used to having...” She stopped. Had he understood what she’d meant, telling him that Josh was more buddy than parent to the kids? The truth was, he hadn’t been on her side. He’d gone so far as to undermine her authority, giving permission for Matt to do something to which she’d already said no, or chiding her right in front of their children for being too strict.
“I’ll be there in five,” Alec said brusquely and was gone.
She’d barely hung up when she heard the front door open and close. Julia stepped from the kitchen. “You’re late.”
Matt’s entire posture radiated rebellion. She didn’t know whether she hated the slouch or the sneer the most.
“So?” He shrugged. “It’s summer.”
“You know I expect us to sit down to dinner as a family most nights.”
“A family. That’s a joke.”
His tone was so vicious, it sent a shudder through her. “Losing your dad doesn’t mean we aren’t a family anymore.”
“Losing him?” He looked at her in disbelief. “He’s dead. He’s not lost. Without Dad—” Matt choked. “We’re just not, okay?” He whirled and raced for his bedroom.
“Dinner will be on the table in ten minutes,” she called after him.
“I’ll eat in my bedroom.”
Julia didn’t have much of a temper, but what she had suddenly sparked. She moved fast, planting her hand on his door before he could slam it. “If you plan to eat tonight,” she told him with steel in her voice, “you will be at the table in ten minutes. Hands clean, prepared to behave politely. Is that clear?”
“I don’t know why I came home at all!” he yelled and threw his shoulder at the door so that it closed right in her face.
Shaken, she retreated to the kitchen, where she turned the burner on beneath the green beans she’d snapped earlier.
She heard the snick of a door and soft footsteps, so she wasn’t taken by surprise when Liana said from right behind her, “Why is Matt so mad, Mommy?”
Julia turned and held out her arms. Liana catapulted into them. Hugging her hard, Julia bent to kiss the top of her head as she rocked her. “I don’t know, sweetie. I wish I did.” She paused, battling her conscience. Asking either of her kids to rat out the other seemed...wrong. She was getting desperate, though. “Does he talk to you?”
“Uh-uh.” Her daughter shook her head hard. “He says I act like a baby and I wouldn’t believe him anyway.”
Believe what?
The doorbell rang. Liana straightened. “Is that Uncle Alec? Can I let him in?”
Julia laughed, hoping it sounded natural. “Of course you can.”
Liana started chattering the minute she got the front door open. Julia heard the slow rumble of his responses. A minute later the two stepped into the kitchen, Alec’s dark eyes going right to Julia.
A hand on his niece’s thin shoulder momentarily silenced her. “Smells good,” he said easily, but she could tell he knew something was wrong.
“Chicken cacciatore, and if you dare compare it to your mother’s, I’ll abandon you to open a can of soup for dinner tomorrow night.”
He laughed, probably guessing the recipe was from his mother. “Have I ever complained about your cooking?”
“Says the man whose freezer is probably stocked with microwave meals.” She turned to lower the heat beneath the furiously boiling green beans, mostly so he couldn’t see her face while she went for casual. “Would you call Matt?”
She heard his footsteps going and his voice. A moment later he was back.
“He says he isn’t hungry.”
Did Mattie think he could sneak out here as soon as they were done and heat up leftovers? If so, he was in for a surprise. In fact, she might go so far as to balance a pan lid atop the refrigerator door in case he tried after she’d gone to bed. The clang should scare him and wake her up. Maybe her resolve to starve her son made her a horrible mother, but right this minute she didn’t care.
Alec was pouring milk for himself and Liana, asking what Julia wanted, responding to some story Liana was telling about her day, and a minute later the three of them were ready to sit down at the small table. Julia ignored the unneeded place setting, although she saw both her daughter and Alec glance at it. His gaze moved from it to her face, where it stayed.
“There a problem?” he asked quietly.
“Matt yelled at Mom,” Liana confided. She bent her head, her fine, silky hair falling forward to veil her face. “Sometimes he scares me,” she said softly, sneaking a look toward the hallway.
Alec’s eyes met Julia’s, just a quick look, before he laid a hand on Liana’s nape and squeezed. “Hey,” he said. “He’s a teenager. They can be butts. It’s hormones run amok, you know. It’ll happen to you, too, kiddo.”
Liana looked up, her expression patently relieved. “Uh-uh. I’d never yell at Mom.”
He grinned at her. “Famous last words.”
Her forehead creased. “What’s that mean?”
As he explained, Julia admired his endless patience with the kids. How was it he hadn’t married and had children of his own? He never seemed bored with hers, never gave them anything less than his complete attention. Liana visibly bloomed with him.
We are so lucky, Julia thought, for at least the hundredth time. Then, But he might get bored. Or—what if he already is, and is just hiding it?
He told a few tall tales about his own and Josh’s teenage years that had her and her daughter both laughing. Oh, she hoped that for once Matt had taken the damn earbuds out and was eavesdropping on his family. Let his stomach be rumbling, too, she thought vengefully.
Liana declared herself stuffed and decided to save her blueberry cobbler for later. Apparently she’d promised Sophie she’d come over right after dinner, so could she please be excused?
Within moments, she’d whisked out the front door, Alec following. Julia was clearing the table when he came back.
“She got there safe and sound,” he reported.
Julia smiled at him. “You didn’t think she would?”
His dark lashes veiled his eyes, making her wonder for a fleeting instant what he hadn’t wanted her to see. No, she had to be imagining things. He was always cautious with the kids.
Without answering, Alec took plates from her, their hands brushing. She’d let him get closer than she usually did. Afraid color was rising in her cheeks, she reached for a serving bowl.
In the kitchen, she covered the bowl with plastic wrap. Alec set dishes in the sink.
“I’d like blueberry cobbler.” He looked hopeful and even boyish, unusual for a man with a face so very male and enigmatic more often than not. “Especially if you have vanilla ice cream to go with it.”
She smiled at him. “You know I do. Ugh. I can’t keep cooking like this or we’ll all get fat.”
His eyebrows crooked as he nudged the faucet on with his forearm and began rinsing plates. “You doing it for my benefit?”
“Maybe,” she admitted, sneaking a look at him. “Partly.” Mostly. The kids wouldn’t care if she put macaroni and cheese in front of them three nights a week and rotated hamburgers, pizza and maybe spaghetti the other four. She enjoyed having another adult to cook for. “Think of it as payback.”
She didn’t realize she’d been seeing pleasure on his face until something like anger took its place. “Damn it, Julia, let’s not go there. The three of you are family. There’s no obligation here.”
“How can I help but feel some?” she protested. “Especially after everything you gave up?”
Creases carved deep in his forehead. “Didn’t you hear a thing I said the last time we talked about this? Exactly what is it I gave up? Do you think my job was glamorous? Fun?” He sounded exasperated.
“You chose it.” For the first time, she felt uncertain. “You seemed to love it.”
He let out a breath and moved his shoulders as if loosening tense muscles. “I chose law enforcement. I’m still in law enforcement.”
“Oh, right,” Julia scoffed. “This is a town that had, what, two or three murders last year? Compared to something like one a day in L.A.?”
He shook his head. “Less than one a day. And do you know how much we’d lowered that rate these past ten, fifteen years? That’s my goal—preventing crime, not cleaning up after it. And yeah, working Homicide was interesting, but so is understanding what a smaller city needs from its police department and making sure we deliver. I don’t know what this fixation you have is, but I’m liking this job, Julia.”
“But...” Momentarily flummoxed by what sounded like sincerity, she stopped. “I’ll bet you sit in front of a computer all day, don’t you?”
“I do some of that, but I sit through a lot of meetings, too.” His frown had relaxed. “Yesterday I worked out with the SWAT team. Today I spent a couple of hours in the crime lab listening to a compelling pitch for new equipment. Day before I rode along for a few hours with a patrol officer fresh out of training.” Vibrancy rang in his voice. “Last week I had breakfast with half a dozen other police chiefs in the region, sharing issues, concerns, solutions. Got some damn good ideas. I’ve met personally with every single member of the city council in the past couple of weeks, and I think I’ve got the votes to approve hiring an additional fifteen officers spread across the department, plus a civilian-crime analyst, which apparently was a new concept to them.”

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