Wanted by Her Lost Love
Maya Banks
Be swept away by passion… with intense drama and compelling plots, these emotionally powerful reads will keep you captivated from beginning to end.Despite his fiancée’s betrayal, developer Ryan Beardsley provided for Kelly when he sent her packing.So he’s livid to find her working in a dingy diner, desperate and pregnant. Whether the baby is his – or his brother’s – Ryan demands that Kelly return to New York with him. For the baby’s sake. Or maybe because Kelly’s as irresistible as ever…
It was her. He knew it was her.
The honey-blond hair was longer and pulled into a ponytail, but it was her. He felt more than visualized her, and his body quickened in response even after all these months.
Then she turned and presented her profile, and he felt every ounce of blood drain from his face.
What the ever-loving hell?
There was no mistaking the full curve of her belly. Kelly was pregnant. Very pregnant.
Dread took hold of his throat and squeezed until his nostrils twitched with the effort of drawing air.
There was a possibility it was his child.
Or his brother’s.
Dear Reader,
I love when a story grabs me by the throat and has so much emotion and angst in it that I get that knot, and it just stays there as I hold my breath waiting to see how the hero and heroine are going to make it past seemingly insurmountable obstacles.
Wanted by Her Lost Love was just such a story for me. I wrote it with an ache in my chest because I hurt for both Kelly and Ryan and I was anxious to give them the happily ever after they deserve.
So much of their story is about moving past mistakes and learning to forgive. But mostly it’s about a heroine who stands up for herself and decides that she deserves more after she’s been badly misjudged and mistreated by the people around her. Her emotional journey is one of my favorites and I hope you’re rooting for her right alongside me as you turn the pages.
Maya Banks
About the Author
MAYA BANKS has loved romance novels from a very (very) early age, and almost from the start, she dreamed of writing them, as well. In her teens she filled countless notebooks with overdramatic stories of love and passion. Today her stories are only slightly less dramatic, but no less romantic.
She lives in Texas with her husband and three children and wouldn’t contemplate living anywhere other than the South. When she’s not writing, she’s usually hunting, fishing or playing poker. She loves to hear from her readers, and she can be found on Facebook or you can follow her on Twitter (www.twitter.com/maya_banks). Her website, www.mayabanks.com, is where you can find up-to-date information on all of Maya’s current and upcoming releases.
Don’t miss a single book in this series by New YorkTimes and USA TODAY bestselling author Maya Banks!
Pregnancy & Passion When irresistible tycoons face the consequences of temptation…
Enticed by His Forgotten LoverWanted by Her Lost LoveTempted by Her Innocent KissUndone by Her Tender Touch
Wanted by
Her Lost Love
Maya Banks
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
To the kidlets for being so helpful and understanding
when mom has to work
One
“Almost enough to make you believe in the fine institution of marriage, isn’t it?” Ryan Beardsley said as he watched his friend, Raphael de Luca, dance with his radiant new bride, Bryony.
The reception was taking place inside Moon Island’s small, nondescript municipal building. It wasn’t exactly where Ryan imagined any of his friends would host a wedding reception, but he supposed it was fitting that Rafe and Bryony would marry here on the island where so much of their relationship had been forged.
The bride positively glowed, and the swell of her belly added to her beauty. They stood in the middle of the makeshift dance floor, Bryony tucked into Rafe’s protective hold, and they were so focused on each other that Ryan doubted the world around them existed. Rafe looked like he’d been handed the universe, and maybe he had.
“They look disgustingly happy,” Devon Carter said next to him.
Ryan chuckled and looked up to see Dev holding a glass of wine in one hand, his other shoved into the pocket of his slacks.
“Yeah, they do.”
Dev’s mouth twisted in annoyance and Ryan chuckled again. Devon himself wasn’t very far away from a trip down the aisle, and he wasn’t taking it with good grace. Still, he couldn’t resist needling his friend.
“Copeland still putting the screws to you?”
“And how,” Devon muttered. “He’s determined for me to marry Ashley. He won’t budge on the deal unless I agree. And now that we’ve relocated the resort and begun construction, I’m ready to get on with the next step. I don’t want him to lose confidence over this blown deal. Problem is, he’s insisted on a dating period. He wants Ashley to be comfortable around me. I swear I think the man believes he lives in the eighteen hundreds. Who the hell arranges a marriage for their daughter anymore? And why the hell would you make marriage a condition of business? I can’t wrap my head around it.”
“There are worse women to marry, I’m sure,” Ryan said, thinking of his own narrow escape.
Devon winced in sympathy. “Still no word on Kelly?”
Ryan frowned and shook his head. “No. But I only just started looking. She’ll turn up.”
“Why are you looking for her, man? Why would you even want to go back down that road? Forget about her. Move on. You’re better off without her. You’re out of your mind for pursuing this.”
Ryan curled his lip and turned to look at his friend. “I have no doubt I’m better off. I’m not looking for her so I can welcome her back into my life.”
“Then why did you hire an investigator to find her, for God’s sake? You’d be better off letting the past stay in the past. Get over her. Move on.”
Ryan was silent for a long moment. It wasn’t a question he could entirely answer. How could he explain the burning desire to know where she was? What she was doing. If she was all right. He shouldn’t care, damn it. He should forget all about her, but he couldn’t.
“I want some answers,” he finally muttered. “She never cashed the check I gave her. I’d just like to know that nothing has happened to her.”
The excuse sounded lame even to him.
Devon raised an eyebrow and sipped at the expensive wine. “After what she pulled, I’d imagine she’s feeling pretty damn stupid. I wouldn’t want to show my face either.”
Ryan shrugged. “Maybe.” But he couldn’t shake the feeling that it was something more. Why was he even worried? Why should he care?
Why hadn’t she cashed the check?
Why couldn’t he get her out of his mind? She haunted him. For six months, he had cursed her, lain awake at night wondering where she was and if she was safe. And he hated that he cared, even though he convinced himself he’d worry about any woman under the same circumstances.
Devon shrugged. “Your time and your dime. Oh, look, there’s Cam. Wasn’t sure Mr. Reclusive would actually crawl out of that fortress of his for the event.”
Cameron Hollingsworth shouldered his way through the crowd, and people instinctively moved to get out of his way. He was tall and broad chested, and he wore power and refinement like most other people wore clothing. The stone set of his demeanor made him unapproachable by most. He could be a mean son of a bitch, but he could usually be counted on to relax around his friends.
The problem was, the only people he counted as friends were Ryan, Devon and Rafe. He didn’t have much patience for anyone else.
“Sorry I’m late,” Cameron said as he approached the two men. Then he glanced over the dance floor and his gaze stopped when he came to Rafe and Bryony. “How did the ceremony go?”
“Oh, it was lovely,” Devon drawled. “All a woman could hope for, I’m guessing. Rafe didn’t give a damn as long as the end result was Bryony being his.”
Cam emitted a dry chuckle. “Poor bastard. I don’t know whether to offer my condolences or my congratulations.”
Ryan grinned. “Bryony’s a good woman. Rafe’s lucky to have her.”
Devon nodded and even Cameron smiled, if you could call the tiny lift at the corner of his mouth a true smile. Then Cam turned to Devon, his eyes gleaming with unholy amusement.
“Word is you’re not far from taking a trip down the aisle yourself.”
Devon muttered a crude expletive and flipped up his middle finger along the side of his wineglass. “Let’s not ruin Rafe’s wedding by talking about mine. I’m more interested in knowing whether you were able to acquire the site for the new location of our hotel since Moon Island is now officially a bust.”
Cam’s eyebrows went up in exaggerated shock. “You doubt me? I’ll have you know that twenty prime acres of beachfront property on St. Angelo is now ours. And I got a damn good deal. Better yet, construction will commence as soon as we can move crews in. If we really dig in, we’ll come close to hitting our original deadline for the grand opening.”
Their gazes automatically went to Rafe, who was still wrapped around his bride. Yeah, the man had caused them a major setback when he pulled the plug on the Moon Island venture, but it was hard for Ryan to get up in arms about it when Rafe looked so damn happy.
Ryan’s pocket vibrated, and he reached down to pull his phone out. He was about to hit the ignore button when he saw who was calling. He frowned. “Excuse me, I need to take this.”
Cameron and Devon waved him off and returned to their bantering as Ryan hurried out of the building. As soon as he stepped outside, the sea breeze ruffled his hair and the tang of salt filled his nose.
The weather was seasonable but by no means hot. It was about as perfect a day as you could ask for, especially for a wedding on the beach.
He turned to look at the distant waves and brought the phone to his ear.
“Beardsley,” he said by way of a terse greeting.
“I think I’ve found her,” his lead investigator said with no preamble.
Ryan tensed, his hand gripping the phone until his fingers went numb. “Where?”
“I haven’t had time to send a man to get a visual confirmation yet. I only just got the information in a few minutes ago. I felt strongly enough about her identity to give you a heads-up. I should know more by tomorrow.”
“Where?” Ryan demanded again.
“Houston. She’s working in a diner there. There was a mix-up originally in her social security number. Her employer reported it wrong. When he put in the correction, she popped on to my radar. I’ll have photos and a full report for you by tomorrow afternoon.”
Houston. The irony wasn’t lost on him. He’d been close to her all this time and never known it.
“No,” Ryan interjected. “I’ll go. I’m already in Texas. I can be in Houston in a couple of hours.”
There was a long silence over the phone. “Sir, it might not be her. I prefer to get confirmation before you take a needless trip.”
“You said it was most likely her,” Ryan said impatiently. “If it turns out not to be, I won’t hold you responsible.”
“Should I hold off my man then?”
Ryan paused, his lips tight, his grip on the phone even tighter. “If it’s Kelly, I’ll know. If it’s not, I’ll inform you so you can continue your search. There’s no need for you to send anyone down. I’ll go myself.”
Ryan drove through Westheimer in the blinding rain. His destination was a small café in west Houston where Kelly was waitressing. It shouldn’t surprise him. She’d been waitressing in a trendy New York café when they’d met. But the check he’d written her would have prevented her from needing to work for quite some time. He figured she would have returned to school. Even when they’d become engaged, she’d expressed the desire to finish her degree. He hadn’t understood it, but he’d supported her decision. The selfish part of him had wanted her to be completely reliant on him.
Why hadn’t she cashed the check?
He had hopped the ferry to Galveston immediately after giving Rafe and Bryony his best wishes. He hadn’t told Cam or Dev that he’d found Kelly, just that he had an important business matter to attend to. By the time he’d gotten to Houston it had been late in the evening, so he’d spent a sleepless night in a downtown hotel.
When he’d gotten up this morning, the skies had been gray and overcast and there hadn’t been a single break in the rain since he’d left his hotel. At least the weather had been beautiful for Rafe’s wedding. By now the happy couple would be off on their honeymoon—someplace where there was an abundance of blue skies.
He glanced over at his GPS and saw he was still several blocks from his destination. To his frustration, he hit every single red light on the way down the busy street. Why he was in a hurry, he didn’t know. According to his investigator, she’d worked here for a while. She wasn’t going anywhere.
A million questions hovered in his mind, but he knew he wouldn’t have the answers to any of them until he confronted her.
A few minutes later he pulled up and parked at the small corner coffee shop that sported a lopsided doughnut sign. He stared at the place in astonishment, trying to imagine Kelly working here of all places.
With a shake of his head, he ducked out of the BMW and dashed toward the entrance, shaking the rain from his collar as he stepped under the small awning over the door.
Once inside, he looked around before taking a seat in a booth on the far side of the café. A waitress who was not Kelly came over with a menu and slapped it down on the table in front of him.
“Just coffee,” he murmured.
“Suit yourself,” she said as she sashayed off to the bar to pour the coffee.
She returned a moment later and put the cup down with enough of a jolt to slosh the dark brew over the rim. With an apologetic smile, she tossed down a napkin.
“If there’s anything I can get you, just let me know.”
It was on the tip of his tongue to ask her about Kelly when he looked beyond her and saw a waitress with her back to him standing across the room at another table.
He waved his waitress off and honed in on the table across the café. It was her. He knew it was her.
The honey-blond hair was longer and pulled into a ponytail, but it was her. He felt, more than visualized her, and his body quickened in response even after all these months.
Then she turned and presented her profile, and he felt every ounce of blood drain from his face.
What the everloving hell?
There was no mistaking the full curve of her belly.
She was pregnant. Very pregnant. Even more pregnant than Bryony by the looks of her.
His gaze lifted just as she turned fully and their eyes met. Shock widened her blue eyes as she stared across the room at him. Recognition was instant, but then why would she have forgotten him any more than he could have forgotten her?
Before he could react, stand, say anything, fury turned those blue orbs ice-cold. Her delicate features tightened and he could see her jaw clench from where he sat.
What the hell did she have to be so angry about?
Her fingers curled into tight balls at her sides, almost as if she’d love nothing better than to deck him. Then, without a word, she turned and stalked toward the kitchen, disappearing behind the swinging door.
His eyes narrowed. Okay, that hadn’t gone as he’d imagined. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected. A weeping apology? A plea to take her back? He damn sure hadn’t expected to find her heavily pregnant, waiting tables in a dive more suited to a high school dropout than someone who was well on her way to graduating with honors from university as Kelly had been.
Pregnant. He took a deep, steadying breath. Just how pregnant was she? She had to be at least seven months. Maybe more.
Dread took hold of his throat and squeezed until his nostrils twitched with the effort of drawing air.
If she was pregnant, seven months’ pregnant, there was a possibility it was his child.
Or his brother’s.
Kelly Christian burst into the kitchen, struggling to untie her apron. She swore under her breath when she fumbled uselessly at the strings. Her hands shook so bad she couldn’t even manage this simple of a task.
Finally she yanked hard enough that the material ripped. She all but threw it on the hook where the other waitresses hung their aprons.
Why was he here? She hadn’t done a whole lot to cover her tracks. Yes, she’d left New York, and at the time she hadn’t known where she’d end up. She hadn’t cared. But neither had she done anything to hide. That meant he could have found her at anytime. Why now? After six months, what possible reason could he have for looking for her?
She refused to believe in coincidences. This wasn’t a place Ryan Beardsley would ever just happen to be. Not his speed. His precious family would die before sullying their palates in anything less than a five-star restaurant.
Wow, Kelly, bitter much?
She shook her head, furious with herself for reacting this strongly to the man’s presence.
“Hey, Kelly, what’s going on?” Nina asked.
Kelly turned to see the other waitress standing in the doorway to the kitchen, her brow creased with concern.
“Close the door,” Kelly hissed as she motioned Nina inside.
Nina quickly complied and the door swung shut. “Is everything all right? You don’t look good, Kelly. Is it the baby?”
Oh, God, the baby. Ryan would have been blind not to have seen her protruding belly. She had to get out of here.
“No, I’m not well at all,” she said, grasping for an explanation. “Tell Ralph I had to leave.”
Nina frowned. “He’s not going to like it. You know how he is about us missing work. Unless we’re missing a limb or vomiting blood, he’s not going to be forgiving.”
“Then tell him I quit,” Kelly muttered as she hurried toward the alley exit. She paused at the rickety door and turned anxiously back to Nina. “Do me a favor, Nina. This is important, okay? If anyone in the diner asks about me—anyone at all—you don’t know anything.”
Nina’s eyes widened. “Kelly, are in you in some kind of trouble?”
Kelly shook her head impatiently. “I’m not in trouble. I swear it. It’s…it’s my ex. He’s a real bastard. I saw him in the diner a minute ago.”
Nina’s lips tightened and her eyes blazed with indignation. “You go on ahead, hon. I’ll take care of things here.”
“Bless you,” Kelly murmured.
She ducked out the back door of the diner and headed down the alley. Her apartment was only two blocks away. She could go there and figure out what the heck to do next.
She almost stopped halfway there. Why was she running? She had nothing to hide. She’d done nothing wrong. What she should have done was march across that diner and bloodied his nose. Instead she was running.
She took the flimsy stairs to her second-story apartment two at a time. When she was inside, she closed the door and leaned heavily against it.
Tears pricked her eyelids and it only made her more furious that she was actually upset over seeing Ryan Beardsley again. No, she didn’t want to face him. She never wanted to see him again. Never did she want anyone to have the kind of power he had to hurt her. Never again.
Her hands automatically went to her belly, and she rubbed soothingly, not sure who she was trying to comfort more, her baby or herself.
“I was a fool to love him,” she whispered. “I was a fool to think I could ever fit in and that his family would accept me.”
She jumped when the door behind her vibrated with a knock. Her heart leaped into her throat, and she put a shaky hand to her chest. She stared at the door as if she could see through it.
“Kelly, open the damn door. I know you’re in there.”
Ryan. God. The very last person she wanted to open the door to.
She put a hand to the wood and leaned forward, unsure of whether she should ignore him or respond.
The force of his second knock bumped her hand, and she snatched it away.
“Go away,” she finally shouted. “I have nothing to say to you.”
Suddenly the door shuddered and flew open. She took several hasty steps backward, her arms curling protectively over her belly.
He filled the doorway, looking as big and formidable as ever. Nothing had changed except for new lines around his mouth and eyes. His gaze stroked over her, piercing through any protective barriers she thought to construct. He’d always had a way of seeing right to the heart of her. Except when it mattered the most.
Fresh grief flooded through her chest. Damn him. What else could he possibly want to do to hurt her? He’d already destroyed her.
“Get out,” she said, proud of how steady her voice sounded. “Get out or I’ll call the police. I have nothing to talk to you about. Not now. Not ever.”
“That’s too bad,” Ryan said as he stalked forward, “because I have plenty to talk to you about. Starting with whose baby you’re pregnant with.”
Two
Kelly willed herself not to rage at him. Instead, she looked calmly at him, coolly, while emotions boiled beneath the surface like molten lava ready to erupt. “It’s none of your business.”
His nostrils flared. “It is if you’re carrying my baby.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and stared him down. “Now why would you think that?”
For a man only too willing to believe she’d slept around, it seemed pretty damn ridiculous that he’d barge into her apartment demanding to know whether or not her baby was his.
“Damn it, Kelly, we were engaged. We lived together and were intimate often. I have a right to know if this is my child.”
She raised an eyebrow and studied him for a moment. “There is no way to know. After all I was with so many other men, your brother included.” She shrugged nonchalantly and turned away from him, going into the kitchen.
He was close on her heels and she could feel the anger emanating from him. “You’re a bitch, Kelly. A cold, calculating bitch. I gave you everything and you threw it away for a little gratuitous sex on the side.”
She whipped around, the urge to hit him so strong that she had to curl her fingers into a fist to keep from doing just that. “Get out. Get out and don’t ever come back.”
His eyes glittered with anger and frustration. “I’m not going anywhere, Kelly, not until you tell me what I want to know.”
She bared her teeth. “It’s not your baby. Happy? Now go.”
“Is it Jarrod’s then?”
“Why don’t you ask him?”
“We don’t talk about you,” he bit out.
“Well, I don’t want to talk about either of you. I want you out of my apartment. It isn’t your baby. Get out of my life. I did as you asked. I got out of yours.”
“You didn’t give me a choice.”
She looked scornfully at him. “Choice? I don’t remember having a choice either. You made that choice for both of us.”
He stared at her in disbelief. “You’re a piece of work, Kelly. Still the innocent martyr, I see.”
She walked over to the door and opened it, looking expectantly at him.
He didn’t move. “Why are you living this way, Kelly? I can’t wrap my head around why you did what you did. I would have given you everything. Hell, I still gave you a hefty amount of money when we broke up because I didn’t like to think of you being without. But now I find you living in squalor working a job that is far beneath your abilities.”
A wave of hatred hit her hard. In this moment she realized that she truly loved and hated him in equal measure. Her chest hurt so bad that she couldn’t breathe. Her mind went back to the day when she’d stood in front of him, devastated, completely and utterly broken, while he scribbled his signature on a bank draft and disdainfully shoved it toward her.
The look in his eyes had told her that he didn’t love her, had never loved her. He didn’t trust her. He didn’t have faith in her.
When she’d needed him the absolute most, he’d let her down and treated her like a paid whore.
She would never forgive him for that.
She slowly turned and dragged herself over to the kitchen drawer where she kept the crumpled envelope containing the check. A reminder of broken dreams and ultimate betrayal. She’d looked at it often but had sworn she would never walk into a bank and cash it.
She picked it up and walked back over to where he stood, his expression inscrutable. She crumpled the envelope into a ball and hurled it at him, hitting him in the cheek.
“There’s your check,” she hissed. “Take it and get the hell out of my life.”
He bent slowly and retrieved the balled-up envelope. He unfolded it and then opened it, taking out the worn check. He frowned and then stared back at her. “I don’t understand.”
“You’ve never understood,” she whispered. “Since you won’t leave, I’m out of here.”
Before he could stop her, she walked past him and slammed the door behind her.
Ryan stared at the check in his hand in stunned disbelief, unable to formulate his thoughts. Why? She acted as though he was a piece of scum. What the hell had he ever done to her but make sure she was taken care of?
He glanced around at the efficiency apartment, noting the disrepair and the cheapness of the furnishings. Two cabinet doors were barely hanging on their hinges and there was nothing inside. No food.
With a frown he stalked to the refrigerator and threw open the door. He cursed when he saw only a carton of milk, half a package of cheese and ajar of peanut butter.
He hastily rummaged through the rest of the kitchen, growing more furious when he found nothing more. How was she surviving? Furthermore, why was she living like this?
He glanced back down at the check and shook his head. There were enough zeros in the amount for her to live a good, modest life for years to come.
The ink had run in several places and it was smudged with fingerprints. But she’d never tried to cash it. Why? There were so many questions running around in his head that he couldn’t process them all.
Did she feel guilty over what she’d done? Had she been ashamed to take money from him after betraying him?
Not the best time to develop a conscience.
One thing was for certain. He wasn’t leaving. There were too many unanswered questions and he wanted answers. Why was she here in this run-down place with a job that obviously didn’t net her enough money to feed herself, much less live a comfortable life? What in the world was she going to do when the baby came? Whether it was his baby or not, he couldn’t allow himself to walk away. Not when she had meant so much to him.
She wasn’t taking care of herself. He had always taken care of her in the past and he would do it again. Whether she liked it or not.
Kelly cut behind her apartment complex using the side street. She didn’t go back to work, although it was what she should do. A day’s lost wages wasn’t the end of the world, but the tips she missed would be a blow to her meager savings.
She needed time to think. To compose herself. And Ryan would only go back to the diner to force another confrontation.
The rain had stopped but the skies were still cast in gloomy shades of gray with more black clouds in the distance, a sure signal that the rain wasn’t over for the day.
Tears threatened, much like those ominous storm clouds, but she sucked in her breath—determined not to allow her unexpected face-to-face with Ryan to break her.
The small playground just three blocks from her apartment was abandoned. No children playing. The swings were empty, swaying in the breeze and the merry-go-round creaked as it rotated slowly.
She slid onto one of the benches, her mind in chaos from the bombardment of anger, grief and shock.
Why had he come?
Her pregnancy was obviously a huge surprise to him. There was no faking the what-the-hell expression on his face in the diner. Nor was their meeting some bizarre coincidence.
She’d given their relationship a lot of thought over the past months, when she wasn’t doing everything possible to make herself forget him. Like that was going to happen.
She knew several things. One, they’d moved way too fast. From their meeting in the café where she’d served him coffee to their rush engagement, she hadn’t taken the time to be sure of him. Oh, she’d been plenty sure of herself. She’d fallen head over heels from the first look. She’d allowed herself to be swept into a relationship with him, never questioning his commitment to her. Or his love.
The obstacles then had seemed insignificant. He was out of her league, but she’d naively assumed that love would conquer all and that it didn’t matter if his family or friends disapproved. She would prove herself worthy. She’d fit in with his lifestyle.
No, she didn’t have his money, his connections, his breeding or heritage. But who even cared about that stuff in this day and age?
She’d been stupid. She’d put off school, at least temporarily, because she’d been consumed with being the perfect girlfriend, fiancée and eventually wife to Ryan Beardsley. She’d allowed him to outfit her in the finest clothing. She’d moved into his apartment with him. She’d agonized over saying the right thing and being the ideal complement to his life.
And she’d never had a chance.
Anyone who thought love was a cure for all things was a misguided fool. Maybe if he’d loved her enough—or at all. How could he ever have loved her when he turned on her at the first opportunity?
She closed her eyes against the unwanted sting of tears. She’d fled New York and ended up here in Houston. She’d forged a new life for herself. It wasn’t the best life, but it was hers.
She’d known that she couldn’t go back to school until after her baby was born and so she’d worked and saved every penny for that eventuality. She lived in the cheapest apartment she could find and earmarked all her earnings for when her child arrived. Then she would move into a better place, somewhere safe to raise a child and complete the two semesters she had left of school so she could make a better life for both herself and her precious baby. Without Ryan Beardsley and his filthy money and his horrid family and all the mistrust and betrayal she’d been subjected to.
Now … Now what? Why was Ryan here? And what would his discovery of her pregnancy mean for her future? Her plans? Her determination never to allow herself back into a situation where she risked so much hurt and devastation?
She rubbed her forehead tiredly, willing the ache to go away. She was tired, worn thin and in no position to defend herself from whatever onslaught Ryan was preparing.
Her fingers tightened and anger penetrated the haze. Why the hell was she sitting on a park bench hiding? She wasn’t in the wrong. Ryan couldn’t make her do anything he wanted; and, furthermore, he would leave her apartment or she’d get a restraining order against him.
He had no power over her anymore.
She breathed in deeply, steadying her shot nerves. Yeah, he’d caught her off guard. She hadn’t been prepared to see him again. But that didn’t mean she was going to let him mow over her.
Even as she made that resolution, nervous fear fluttered in her chest and tightened her throat. The future that she’d planned suddenly seemed in peril with Ryan’s reappearance in her life.
If he got it in his head that it was his child she carried, he wouldn’t go away. The problem was, even if she managed to convince him that it wasn’t his child, he’d only assume it was Jarrod’s. That still made the Beardsley family a serious impediment to her future.
“One thing at a time, Kelly,” she murmured.
The very first thing she had to do was get Ryan out of her apartment so she could weigh her options. She may not have his money or connections but that didn’t mean she was going to fold at the first sign of adversity.
A raindrop hit her forehead and she sighed. It had begun sprinkling again, and if she didn’t get back, she’d be caught out in the downpour that was surely coming.
As she trudged in the direction of her building she cheered herself up by imagining that he wouldn’t be there. That he’d given up and left, deciding she wasn’t worth the effort. She snorted as that thought crossed her mind. He’d already done that once. It wasn’t a stretch that he’d simply dismiss her from his life again.
By the time she climbed the stairs to her apartment, she was soaked through and her hair clung limply to her head. She shivered as she fumbled with the lock to let herself in.
It didn’t surprise her to see Ryan pacing the floor of her living room. She stiffened her shoulders just as he whirled around.
“Where the hell have you been?” he demanded.
“None of your business.”
“The hell it’s not. You didn’t go back to work. It’s raining and you’re soaked to the skin. Are you crazy?”
She laughed and shook her head. “Clearly I am. Or I was. But not anymore. Get out, Ryan. This is my apartment. You have no rights here. You can’t bully your way in here. I’ll swear out a restraining order if I have to.”
His forehead wrinkled and he stared at her in surprise. “You think I’d hurt you?”
She lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “Physically? No.”
He swore under his breath. Then he ran his hand through his hair in agitation. “You need to eat. There’s no food in this apartment. How the hell are you taking care of yourself and a baby when you’re on your feet all day? You’re clearly not eating here. There’s nothing to eat!”
“My, my, one would think you cared,” she mocked. “But we both know that isn’t true. Don’t worry about me, Ryan. I’m taking care of myself and my baby just fine.”
He stalked toward her, his eyes blazing. “Oh, I care, Kelly. You can’t accuse me of not caring. I wasn’t the one who threw away what we had. That’s on you. Not me.”
She held up a hand and hastily backed away. Her fingers trembled and she felt precariously light-headed. “Get. Out.”
His nostrils flared and his lip curled up as if he was about to launch another offensive. Then he took a step back and blew out his breath.
“I’ll leave, but I’ll be back at nine tomorrow morning.”
She lifted one eyebrow.
“You have an appointment to see a doctor. I’m taking you.”
He’d been busy while she was gone, and he worked fast. But then for a man like Ryan, all he had to do was pick up a phone. He had countless people to do his bidding. She shook her head in disgust. “Maybe you don’t get it, Ryan. I’m not going anywhere with you. We are nothing to each other. You aren’t responsible for me. I have my own doctor. You aren’t hauling me to another one.”
“And when was the last time you saw this doctor?” he demanded. “You look like hell, Kelly. You aren’t taking care of yourself. That can’t be good for either you or your child.”
“Don’t pretend that you care,” she said softly. “Just do us both a favor and leave.”
He looked like he was going to argue, but again, he bit back the words. He walked toward the door and then turned around to her again. “Nine o’clock tomorrow. You’re going if I have to carry you there myself.”
“Yeah, and maybe hell will freeze over,” she muttered as he slammed out of her apartment.
She woke up early as a matter of habit. A quick check of her watch, however, told her she had overslept by fifteen minutes. She would have to hurry to get to the diner by six. After a brief shower, she pulled on her loose-fitting jumper over a shirt and headed for the door.
She held her breath, almost expecting Ryan to be outside. She shook her head and walked down the stairs. He was messing with her head and making her paranoid. Any thought that she was over him and moving on had been shot to hell the moment he showed up in her diner.
A few minutes later, she hustled into the diner to see that Nina was already at work serving their early-morning breakfast customers. Kelly donned her apron, picked up her order tablet and headed toward her section of tables.
For the first hour, she forced thoughts of Ryan and the dread that he’d make another appearance to the back of her mind. Unfortunately, it was obvious that she failed miserably after she messed up three orders, spilled coffee on a customer and retreated to the kitchen to get herself together.
She’d just given herself a stern lecture, calmed her shaking hands and was preparing to return out front when Ralph burst through the doors, a scowl on his face.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
Kelly frowned. “I work here, remember?”
“Not anymore you don’t. You’re out of here.”
Kelly paled and stared at him as panic rolled through her chest. “You’re firing me?”
“You walked out yesterday during our busiest time. No word, no nothing. You didn’t come back. What the hell did you expect? And now you’re back here this morning and I have a diner full of pissed-off customers because you don’t have your head on right.”
She took a deep breath and tried to steady her nerves. “Ralph, I need this job. Yesterday … Yesterday I got sick, okay? It won’t happen again.”
“Damn right it won’t. I never should have hired you in the first place.” He curled his lip in disgust. “If I hadn’t needed a waitress so desperately, I would have never hired a pregnant woman to begin with.”
Oh God, she didn’t want to beg, but what choice did she have? The chances of her finding another job at this advanced stage of pregnancy were nil. All she needed was a few more months, just until the baby was born. By then she’d have enough money to stop working and take care of her baby. She’d have enough money to finish the rest of her classes.
“Please,” she choked out. “Give me another chance. You’ve never heard a single complaint from me. I’ve never missed work for any reason. I have to have this job.”
He pulled out an envelope from his shirt pocket and thrust it toward her. “Here’s your final check, minus the hours for yesterday’s disappearing act.”
She took it with a shaking hand and he turned and walked out of the kitchen, the door swinging wildly behind him.
Anger and frustration overwhelmed her. Ryan was still ruining her life, months later. She yanked off her apron, tossed it in the direction of the hook and then left through the back entrance, squinting when she was nearly blinded by sunlight.
As she walked back toward her apartment, she stared at the envelope in her hand. Despair weighed her down until each step felt unbearable. Her damn pride. She should have taken the check Ryan had given her. To hell with him and his nasty accusations. That check represented a way for her to finish school and provide for her child.
She had every reason to refuse it. To tear it up into little pieces and shove it under his nose. Maybe that’s why she’d held on to it for so long because a part of her wanted the satisfaction of throwing it back at him.
It had been important to her that he know she wasn’t some whore to be bought, but what had that got her? A dead-end job that sucked the life out of her on a daily basis and a shabby apartment that she never wanted to bring her child home to.
Enough with her pride. Ryan Beardsley could go to hell. She was going to cash that check.
Three
Ryan mounted the steps to Kelly’s apartment, grimacing as he took in the missing handrail and the shaky stairs. It was a wonder she hadn’t already fallen down them. He wasn’t entirely expecting to find her home, but he’d stopped in at the diner in case she’d gone to work, only to be told by a surly man named Ralph that she wasn’t there.
It annoyed him that her door wasn’t locked. He pushed it open to find her on her hands and knees, peering under the rickety recliner. She made a sound of frustration and then pushed herself upward.
“What the hell are you doing?”
She shrieked and whirled around. “Get out!”
He held out a placating hand. “I’m sorry I frightened you. Your door was unlocked.”
“And so you thought you’d just come on in? Did the art of knocking escape you? Get a clue, Ryan. I don’t want you here.” She went into the kitchen, opening and shutting cabinets, obviously looking for something.
He sighed. It wasn’t that he’d expected her to be any more compliant today, but he’d hoped after the initial shock, she’d be a little less … angry.
When she got back down on the floor again, a surge of irritation hit him once more.
He crossed the room and leaned down to help her to her feet. “What are you looking for?”
She shrugged off his hand and wiped her hair from her eyes. “The check. I’m looking for the check!”
“What check?”
“The check you wrote me.”
He frowned and reached into his pocket for the folded, worn piece of paper. “This check?”
She lunged for it but he held it higher out of her reach.
“Yes! I’ve changed my mind. I’m cashing it.”
He put his hand out to ward her off and shook his head in confusion. “Sit down, Kelly, before you fall. And then tell me what on earth is going on here. You wait this long, throw the check in my face and tell me to take my money to hell with me and now you’ve changed your mind? Are you crazy?”
To his utter surprise, she slumped down onto one of the small chairs that accompanied the two person table in the kitchen and buried her face in her hands. To his further dismay, her shoulders shook and quiet sobs erupted from her bowed head.
For a moment he stood there, unsure what to do. He’d never been able to stand it when she cried. An uncomfortable feeling settled in his stomach and he dropped down to one knee to gently pry her hands from her face.
She looked away, seemingly discomfited by the fact he was witnessing her breakdown.
“What’s wrong, Kelly?” he asked gently.
“I lost my job,” she choked out. “Because of you.”
He reared back. “Because of me? What the hell did I do?”
She whipped her head up, her eyes flashing. “Your standard line. What did I do? Of course you did nothing wrong. I’m sure this was all my fault, like everything else that went wrong in our relationship. Just give me the check and get out. You won’t ever have to be bothered with me again.”
He stared incredulously at her. “Do you honestly expect me to just walk away now?” He shoved the check back into his pocket, his lips thin as he controlled the urge to lash out at her as she had done to him. “We have a hell of a lot to work out, Kelly. I’m not going anywhere and neither are you. The very first thing we’re going to do is go to the doctor so you can get a decent checkup. You don’t look well. I can’t be any more blunt than that.”
She slowly stood and stared him in the eye. “I’m not going anywhere with you. If you won’t give me the check, then get out. We have nothing more to discuss. Ever.”
He fingered the paper in his pocket and then lifted his gaze to meet hers once more. “We’ll discuss the check after we go to the doctor.”
Disgust flared in her eyes. “Resorting to blackmail now, Ryan?”
“If that’s what you want to call it. I really don’t care. You’re going to the doctor with me. If he gives you a clean bill of health, then I’ll hand over the check and walk out of here.”
Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Just like that.”
He nodded, not bothering to tell her that there wasn’t a doctor in this world who could possibly give her a clean bill of health. She was dead on her feet. She was pale and very likely significantly underweight.
She nibbled at her lip for a long while as if deciding whether or not to acquiesce. Then finally she closed her eyes and let out her breath in a long exhale.
“All right, Ryan. I’ll go to the doctor with you. After he verifies that I’m perfectly fine, I don’t want to see you again.”
“If he says you’re okay, then you’ll get your wish.”
She lowered herself back into the chair, clearly exhausted. He bit back a curse. Was she blind or just that heavily into denial? She needed someone to take care of her. Make sure she ate three good meals a day. Someone to make her put her feet up and rest.
He checked his watch. “We should be going. Your appointment is in half an hour and I don’t know how bad traffic will be.”
Defeat crept over her face, but then she hardened her expression and rose once more. She retrieved her purse from the recliner and started for the door, leaving him to follow.
Kelly stared sightlessly out the window as Ryan maneuvered through traffic. She was mentally exhausted from her confrontation with Ryan. She just wanted him gone. She couldn’t even look at him without all the hurt from the past crashing through her and turning her inside out.
He parked in the garage of a downtown medical clinic and ushered her inside the modern building. They rode the elevator to the fourth floor and Kelly stood numbly as Ryan checked in with the receptionist.
After filling out her medical history, she was ushered back for the prerequisite pee in a cup. When she exited the bathroom, a nurse directed her into one of the exam rooms where she found Ryan waiting for her.
She bared her teeth in a snarl, prepared to order him out when he held up a hand, his expression as fierce as her own had to be.
“I will hear firsthand everything the doctor has to say.”
His eyes dared her to argue. She swallowed nervously, knowing he’d make a scene if she pushed the issue. She turned her back on him and leaned on the exam table.
She just had to get past the exam, have the doctor tell Ryan that everything was fine, and then she’d be rid of him.
A few minutes later, a young doctor came in and smiled at her. He gestured for her to get onto the table and recline. After measuring her and listening to the baby’s heartbeat, he wheeled in a small machine and then applied cool gel to her stomach.
She lifted her head. “What are you doing?”
“Thought you might like to get a look at the little guy or girl. I’ll do a quick sonogram for dates and measurement, make sure everything is okay. Is that all right with you?”
She nodded and the doctor began moving the wand over her stomach. Then he stopped and gestured toward the small screen. “There’s the head.”
Ryan crowded in so he could see the monitor. She craned her neck to see around him. Ryan looked back at her then hastily slipped a hand underneath her neck to lift her so she could see. Tears filled her eyes and her lips widened into a smile. “She’s beautiful!”
“Yes, she is,” Ryan said huskily in her ear.
“Or he,” she said quickly.
“Would you like to find out what you’re having?” the doctor offered. “We can take a look.”
“No … no, I don’t think so,” she said. “I want it to be a surprise.”
The doctor took a few more minutes and then stood up, wiping her belly clean. He handed her a picture he printed out of the baby’s profile and returned to his clipboard. After a few scribbled notes, he looked back up at her. “I’m concerned about you.”
She frowned and struggled to sit up. Ryan eased her into a sitting position, and she looked questioningly at the doctor.
“Your blood pressure is elevated and there are traces of protein in your urine. There is significant edema to your hands and feet and I’d bet, judging by your weight, that you aren’t getting enough nutrition. You’re exhibiting signs of preeclampsia and it could lead to serious repercussions.”
Kelly regarded him in stunned silence.
Ryan turned to the doctor with a frown. “What is preeclampsia?”
“It’s related to an increase in blood pressure and an increase in protein in urine output. Typically it affects women after their twentieth week of pregnancy. It can progress to seizures, at that point it becomes eclampsia.”
The doctor turned his stern gaze on Kelly before continuing.
“You are only a hairbreadth from going into the hospital and staying there until you deliver, and unless I exact a promise from you and your husband that you’ll remain off your feet and take better care of yourself, I’ll forgo the warning and straight into the hospital you’ll go.”
“He’s not my—” she began.
“Consider it done,” Ryan smoothly interjected. “She won’t so much as lift a finger. You have my word.”
“But—”
“No buts,” the doctor said. “I don’t think you fully understand the direness of your situation. If your condition progresses, it can mean your death. Eclampsia is the second leading cause of maternal death in the U. S. and the leading cause of fetal complications. This is serious and you need to take all the necessary precautions to prevent an escalation in your condition.”
Ryan blanched, and she felt the blood drain from her own face as well.
“I can assure you, Doctor, Kelly won’t be doing anything but resting and eating from now on,” Ryan said grimly.
The doctor nodded approvingly and shook both their hands. “I’d like to see her back in a week. And if the swelling gets worse or she develops a severe headache she’s to go directly to the hospital.”
After the doctor left, Kelly sat on the exam table, stunned by the doctor’s pronouncement. Ryan slid his hand over hers and squeezed.
“I don’t want you to worry, Kelly.”
Worry? She nearly let out a hysterical laugh. Her life was a total and complete mess and she wasn’t supposed to worry. She was ready to run screaming from the building.
“Come on,” he said quietly. “Let’s go.”
She let him lead her out of the doctor’s office and to the car without protest. This couldn’t be happening to her. She sat mutely in the car as they drove away, refusing to even look at Ryan. She had no job, and now if the doctor was to be believed, she couldn’t have worked even if she hadn’t been fired. How was she going to support herself, let alone her baby? She had some savings but it was all earmarked for the baby and school.
Helplessness gripped her and she didn’t like it one bit. The shrill ring of a cell phone startled her and she looked over to see Ryan put it to his ear as he expertly weaved through traffic. Her ears perked up when she heard her name.
“We’re going by Kelly’s apartment to get her things. Book us a flight from Houston and call me back with the flight number and time. Then call over to Dr. Whitcomb’s office on Hillcrest and get Kelly’s medical report faxed to Dr. Bryant in New York. Cover for me and have Linda go over any contracts needing my signatures. I’ll be in the office in a few days.”
He ended the conversation abruptly and set the phone aside.
“What were you talking about?” Kelly said in bewilderment.
He glanced over at her, a grim expression tightening his face. “I’m taking you home.”
“Over my dead body,” she snarled. She crossed her arms over her belly and pressed her lips firmly together.
“You’re going,” he said in a tone that brooked no argument. “You need someone to take care of you since you refuse to do it yourself. Do you want to risk the baby’s health? Or yours? Give me a solution, Kelly. Prove to me that I can leave here knowing you’ll be okay.”
She stared woodenly at him. “Don’t you understand that I want nothing to do with you?”
“Oh yes, you made that clear to me when you slept with my brother. But the fact is you’re likely carrying my child—or my niece or nephew, and either way I’m not going to disappear until I know you’re both safe. You’re coming to New York with me if I have to carry you on the plane.”
“It’s not your child,” she said fiercely.
His gaze raked over her. “Whose is it then?”
“None of your business.”
There was a long silence before he finally said, “You’re going with me. I’m not just doing this for a child that may or may not be mine.”
“Why are you doing it then?” she shot back.
He ignored her and stared out the windshield, his fingers curled tight around the steering wheel.
When they arrived at her apartment, she got out of the car before he could come around for her and she hurried up the stairs. She could hear him behind her and when she tried to shut the door, he put up his hand and pushed his way inside.
“We have to talk, Kelly.”
She whirled around. “Yes, we do. You said we’d talk about the check. You were certainly willing to throw it at me when you called me a whore. I want it now and I don’t give a damn what you think about the fact I’m taking it.”
“I’m no longer offering it.”
“Oh, nice,” she said sarcastically.
“I want you to come back to New York with me.”
Her mouth fell open. “You’re insane. Why would I go anywhere with you?”
“Because you need me.”
Pain speared through her chest, robbing her of breath. “I needed you before.”
She turned away before he could respond. She framed her belly with her palms and tried not to panic.
Behind her Ryan was silent. Disturbingly so. Then when he spoke there was an odd, strained tone to his voice.
“I’m going out to have your prescriptions filled. I’ll pick us up something to eat. When I get back, I want you to be packed.”
His footsteps were heavy on the floor and then the door shut quietly behind him.
She sank onto the tattered recliner and massaged her forehead. Two days ago she had a plan. A good plan. She had everything mapped out. Today she had no job, her health was suspect and her ex-fiancé was pressuring her to go back to New York with him.
It made her cringe, but she realized she was going to have to call her mother. She’d once sworn she’d have to be dying to ever ask her mom for anything, but right now that seemed the lesser of two evils.
“What doesn’t kill me will make me stronger, right?” she muttered.
Lame. So lame.
Still, she picked up the phone, drew in a deep breath and called the last number she had for her mother. It was entirely possible Deidre no longer lived in Florida. Who really knew with her?
She’d washed her hands of Kelly the minute Kelly graduated high school and all but shoved her out of the house so she could move in her latest boyfriend. She’d informed Kelly that she’d done her duty and devoted eighteen of the best years of her life—years she’d never get back—to raising a child she’d never intended to have.
Good luck, see you later, don’t ask me for anything else.
Yeah.
Kelly was about to hang up when her mother’s voice came over the line.
“Mom?” Kelly said hesitantly.
There was a long pause. “Kelly? Is that you?”
“Yeah, Mom it’s me. Look, I need your help. I need a place to stay. I’m … pregnant.”
There was an even longer pause this time. “Where’s that rich boyfriend of yours?”
“I’m not with him any longer,” Kelly said in a quiet voice. “I’m in Houston. I lost my job and I’m not well. The doctor is worried about the baby. I just need a place to stay for a little while. Until I get back on my feet.”
Her mother sighed. “I can’t help you, Kelly. Richard and I are busy and we just don’t have the space.”
Hurt crowded into her heart. She’d known this was pointless, but somehow she’d hoped … Quietly, she turned the phone off without saying anything else. What was there to say anyway?
Her mother had never been more than a resigned babysitter.
Kelly smoothed a hand over her belly. “I love you,” she whispered. “I’ll never begrudge a single moment I have with you.”
She leaned back in the recliner and stared up at the ceiling, hating the helplessness that gripped her. She closed her eyes in weary resignation. She was exhausted.
The next thing she knew she was being shaken awake. She yanked her eyes open to see Ryan standing over her, a plate and glass of water in his hands.
“I brought you Thai,” he said gruffly.
Her favorite. She was surprised he remembered. She struggled to sit upright and then took the plate and glass from him.
He pulled a chair from the kitchen and sat across from her as she ate. His scrutiny made her uncomfortable and so she focused on her food, not looking up.
“Ignoring me isn’t going to help.”
She paused, set her fork down and then leveled a stare at him. “What do you want, Ryan? I still don’t understand why you’re here. Or why you want me to go back to New York with you. Or why you care, period. You let me know in no uncertain terms that you wanted me as far out of your life as possible.”
“You’re pregnant. You need help. Isn’t that enough?”
“No, it’s not!”
His jaw tightened. “Let’s put it this way. You and I have a lot to work out, including whether or not you’re pregnant with my child. You need help that I can provide. You need someone to take care of you. You need top-notch medical care. I can give you all of those things.”
She thrust a hand into her hair and leaned back against the recliner. He immediately leaned forward, slipping from his chair and going to his knees in front of her. He touched her arm, tentatively, as if afraid she’d recoil.
“Come with me, Kelly. You know this has to be worked out between us. You have to think about the baby.”
She held up a hand, furious that he’d try to manipulate her with guilt. But he caught her hand and lowered it, and then ruthlessly pressed his advantage.
“You can’t work. The doctor said you have to rest or you risk the health of your child as well as your own. If you can’t accept my help for yourself, at least do it for your baby. Or is your pride more important than his or her welfare?”
“And what are we supposed to do when we get to New York, Ryan?”
“You’re going to rest and we’re going to figure out our future.”
Her stomach lurched. It sounded so ominous. Their future.
She was a fool to agree. She’d be a fool not to agree.
She was willing to swallow her pride and take the check. Shouldn’t she be willing to accept his help for her baby’s sake? For their baby’s sake?
“Kelly?”
“I’ll go,” she said in a low voice.
Triumph flashed in his eyes. “Then let’s get you packed and get the hell out of here.”
Four
When Kelly woke the next morning, she struggled to make sense of her surroundings. Then she remembered. She was in New York—with Ryan.
In a matter of hours, Ryan had had her packed and hustled to the airport. They’d landed at LaGuardia close to midnight and he’d ushered her into a waiting car.
By the time they’d arrived at his apartment, she was dead on her feet. Once inside, she took her one bag and headed toward the guest room. The aching familiarity of the apartment—an apartment that used to be hers—threatened to unhinge her. It even smelled the same—a mixture of leather and raw masculinity. She’d never tried to change that. It had reminded her too much of Ryan, and she hadn’t wanted to remove it.
Down the hall was the bedroom where she and Ryan had made love countless times. It was where their child was conceived and where her life had been irrevocably altered.
Once again, she’d been reminded of how much of an idiot she was to come back here.
But this morning she felt resigned to her fate. After a quick shower, she dressed and padded into the living room where Ryan was already sitting typing on a laptop. He looked up when he heard her come in.
“Breakfast is ready. I was waiting on you to eat.”
Wordlessly, she followed him into the kitchen where she saw a table set for two. Taking a platter off the warmer, he carried it over to the table and began spooning healthy portions of eggs, toast and ham onto their plates.
As she sat down, she was forced to admit that she felt better than she had in weeks. She had certainly gotten more rest in the past twenty-four hours than she had in a long time.
“How are you feeling this morning?” he asked as he took a seat across from her.
“Fine,” she mumbled around a mouthful of egg. Her appetite was coming back and she concentrated on the delicious food in front of her.
This whole thing was weird. The ultrapoliteness. The cozy breakfast for two. It was so awkward that she wanted to go back to the bedroom and crawl back into bed.
After a long silence, Ryan spoke up. “I’ve made arrangements to work out of the apartment for the time being.”
She stopped chewing then swallowed the food in her mouth. “Why?” she asked flatly.
“I would think the answer is obvious.”
“This isn’t going to work, Ryan. I can’t stay here with you hanging over my shoulder all the time. Go to work. Do whatever it is you normally do, and just leave me alone.”
His lips thinned and then he got up and walked away without another word.
She stared down at her plate, furious that he acted like the victim. As if she was some horrible, ungrateful bitch.
Fury and aching sadness knotted her throat. How could she ever get past what he’d done to her? Maybe he was just as determined not to forgive her for her supposed transgressions, but Kelly was the innocent one in this whole sordid mess. Ryan had turned his back on her. He didn’t seem to want to acknowledge that little fact.
She fiddled with her remaining food, pushing it around her plate until restlessness forced her to her feet.
Wandering aimlessly back into the living room, she stopped in front of the large window offering a view of the Manhattan skyline.
“You shouldn’t be on your feet,” Ryan said from behind her.
She sighed and turned around, shocked to see him in just a towel. She swiveled back to the window, but the image burned in her eyes. His broad chest rippled with well-defined muscles and his lean abdomen was sculpted like a fine work of art. She used to spend hours exploring the dips and curves of his body.
“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you,” he said in a low voice. “I guess I didn’t give it a thought considering our past relationship.”
She had the ridiculous urge to laugh. Embarrass her? The only embarrassing thing was how her mind was currently wandering way below the makeshift waistline of his towel.
And of course, in his arrogance, he would assume—considering the “nature of their relationship”—that he could cavort about in the nude.
Drawing up her shoulders, she turned around again and stared coolly at him. “If you think because we were once lovers that you can take up where we left off, you’re sadly mistaken.”
He blinked in surprise and then anger replaced the surprise. “God, Kelly. Do you think so little of me that I would try to force you into a sexual relationship when you’re pregnant and unwell?”
“You don’t want to know the answer to that.”
He swore long and hard. “What makes you think I would ever want to sample my brother’s secondhand goods anyway?”
She balled her hands into fists and forced a careless reply. “Well, since your brother didn’t mind, I assumed it was a family trait.”
His blue eyes became ice chips and his jaw twitched spasmodically. Then he spun around and disappeared into his bedroom, the sound of the door slamming reverberating throughout the apartment.
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