The Prince She Had to Marry
Christine Rimmer
On a fateful morning in April, Princess Liliana, heir presumptive to the throne of Alagonia, surrendered her virginity to Alexander BravoCalabretti.Alex is the last person she ever should have had sex with – let alone become pregnant by. And now Alex and his family and Lili’s father, King Leo, insist that she marry the father of her child…
He sat there and watched her. It was no hardship, looking at Lili. Within minutes, her breathing evened out and she slept.
He thought how he really did need to be careful. It was one thing to find a way to get along with her.
And another altogether to let her get too close.
He’d found a certain balance. Letting her get too close could cast him into chaos. He couldn’t afford that.
Still, he remained in the chair, watching her. Feeling strangely peaceful, almost daring to imagine what it could be, between them.
And then reminding himself that he was only going to learn to get along with her, to live in peace with her. They were never going to have the kind of marriage she dreamed of.
And he needed to remember that.
Dear Reader,
On a fateful morning in April, Princess Liliana, heir presumptive to the throne of Alagonia, surrendered her virginity to Prince Alexander of Montedoro, third-born of the Bravo-Calabretti princes. And wouldn’t you know? Now she is pregnant.
Pregnant. By Alex, the bane of her childhood. Really. Alex is the last person she ever should have had sex with. She’s still not sure what came over her. They’ve never gotten along. She thinks he’s mean and self-absorbed. He thinks she’s flighty and shallow. It’s been that way for as long as either of them can remember.
Marriage between them will bring only disaster. But she is a princess. For her, the strictest rules apply. Everyone—including Alex—insists that she do the right thing and marry him.
All her life Lili has dreamed of true love, of a marriage of equals. She doesn’t see how she’ll ever have her dream with Alex. Especially now. Since his four years as a prisoner in Afghanistan, Alex is worse than ever. He hardly comes out of his rooms at the palace, except when he’s training his elite corps of paramilitary operatives.
It’s a good thing that Lili is a lot more patient and resourceful than many realize. Alex may be terrible husband material. But Lili refuses to be daunted. One way or another, she’s got her sights set on love everlasting. And nothing, not even the impossible prince she has to marry, is going to stand in her way.
Happy reading, everyone,
Christine Rimmer
About the Author
CHRISTINE RIMMER came to her profession the long way around. Before settling down to write about the magic of romance, she’d been everything from an actress to a salesclerk to a waitress. Now that she’s finally found work that suits her perfectly, she insists she never had a problem keeping a job—she was merely gaining “life experience” for her future as a novelist. Christine is grateful not only for the joy she finds in writing, but for what waits when the day’s work is through: a man she loves who loves her right back, and the privilege of watching their children grow and change day to day. She lives with her family in Oregon. Visit Christine at www.christinerimmer.com.
The Prince She
Had to Marry
Christine Rimmer
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
For my mom,
who found her true love at fifteen.
I love you, Mom.
And we all miss you so much.
Chapter One
“Which of your sons has impregnated my virgin daughter?” King Leo demanded so loud that the words seemed to bounce off the damask-covered walls. He swept the room with a burning, accusatory glance.
Liliana, Princess of Alagonia and also the formerly virgin daughter in question, cringed at her spot near the tall, elegantly carved, gold-trimmed double doors. You could have heard the proverbial pin drop.
The Bravo-Calabretti family, surprised during their morning meal, did not say a word. They sat perfectly still in the beautiful antique chairs around the large pedestal table. They stared, unmoving, even the children—eyes tracking from Leo to Lili and then back to her furious father again.
They were all there, too, in the breakfast room of Her Sovereign Highness’s private apartment at the Prince’s Palace of Montedoro. Every one of them: HSH Adrienne and her prince consort, Evan, and their four sons and five daughters. Also present were the heir apparent’s two young children and the new wife and son of the second-born prince, Rule.
King Leo, his face red as the heart of Montedoran orange, started shouting again. “Who is the culprit? Who has dishonored my one and only child?”
Lili longed simply to sink through the inlaid marble floor, to crawl under the lush, blue-accented Savonnerie rug. Dear, sweet Lord in heaven. Did it get any worse than this? She was afraid it just might. She had tried her very best to keep her father from finding out about the baby—at least not until she’d had a chance to talk to the exasperating prince she’d made the terrible mistake of having sex with.
But she’d received no answer to the letter she’d sent him. He had not returned her two furtive calls. And before she could decide what her next move should be, her father had found out.
Lili was an only child and her father loved her absolutely. And somehow, he always knew when something was bothering her. He’d been after her for weeks to tell him what the matter was. He’d kept insisting that she was looking pale, that she never smiled anymore. She had repeatedly denied there was anything wrong.
And then, last night: disaster at dinner. It was the lamb that did it. Just the smell of it had her running from the table.
Her father had jumped up and come after her. He barreled into her apartment right behind her and even followed her all the way to the toilet, where he knelt on the floor beside her and held her head while she was repeatedly sick. He was beside himself with worry, certain she was desperately ill, that she must be knocking at death’s door.
As soon as she finished ejecting the meager contents of her stomach, she had tried to soothe him, tried to reassure him that it was nothing. A little indigestion, a touch of the flu….
But he wouldn’t be soothed. He questioned the servants. They loved her and were loyal to her, every one of them. They all tried to protect her, to claim they knew nothing. But they did know. The servants always do. And her father could be frightening, with his deep, commanding voice, his blustery manner and imaginative, if essentially baseless, threats.
In the end, a young chambermaid had broken down in tears and revealed the truth. “Sir, I’m so sorry, Sir. Her Highness is … with child.”
At which point her father hit the ceiling. For half the night, he’d kept after Lili, demanding to know the name of the scurvy dog who had taken advantage of her. Lili refused to tell him.
And her father took action. He was positive it had to be one of the Bravo-Calabretti princes.
Unfortunately, he happened to be right—not that she’d admitted it. She hadn’t. In fact, she had not so much as spoken a single word to His Majesty since well before midnight.
At two in the morning, he’d herded her aboard the royal jet. They took off for the airport at Nice. Alagonia was an island state off the coast of Spain. Montedoro, a short drive from Nice, claimed a particularly scenic slice of the glorious Côte d’Azur. The direct flight took just over five hours, which Lili had spent in her sleeping compartment with the door firmly shut against her father and his fulminating glances, his dire accusations and his never-ending insistence that she give him the name of the “low-born son of a dog” who had “used and abused” her. She’d tried to sleep but couldn’t.
And now, as she trembled in her spot near the breakfast-room door, Lili tried desperately not to further disgrace herself—no! She would not be sick now. Not here, in front of her red-faced, wild-eyed father and all those staring Bravo-Calabretti princes.
And while she was busy not letting herself throw up, she also took great care not to look directly in the face of the one who’d relieved her of her virginity. The one who had refused to answer her letter or return her calls. Maybe now he would finally condescend to get in touch with her.
Even though she didn’t dare meet his eyes for fear she would give him away, she silently prayed he would keep his mouth shut—for now. Let her father get nowhere with his histrionics. Eventually the king would wind down. Then she and the father of her child could discuss the situation in private, just the two of them, as they should have done long before now.
“I demand that the culprit stand and face me,” her father blustered on. “I demand satisfaction and I demand it immediately!”
Yet more dead silence in the breakfast room.
And then, slowly, every Bravo-Calabretti head but the youngest ones swiveled in Prince Damien’s direction. Lili wasn’t particularly surprised. Damien was the family jet-setter, famous with the ladies. She knew what they all must be thinking: Who else could it be but Damien? Surely not Rule. Yes, Rule had been expected to propose to Lili for years, but they all knew he thought of her like a sister, that he’d never made any kind of advances toward her. And he was now happily married to the brilliant American, Sydney O’Shea, whom Lili truly admired.
Well, and it hadn’t been Rule. It wasn’t Damien either. But only two people in the room knew that.
King Leo didn’t miss the way everyone glanced in Damien’s direction. “Aha,” he crowed hotly. “So, then. It’s you, Damien. I suspected it might be. Stand,” he commanded, whipping out the ceremonial scimitar he’d strapped on when they’d left the royal jet. How utterly mortifying. Leave it to her father to bring a scimitar. He swung the blade back and forth. It sang through the air of the too-quiet room. And then he assumed a fighting stance, the long, curving sword held high. “Stand and face me, you offal-eating swine.”
Beyond humiliated now, Lili stifled a moan of pure misery. Her father was a fair man and a good ruler—except when his fury was roused. “Papa,” she pleaded, “I beg you. This is not about you. This is between me and the father of my child. I want you to stop this. Now.”
Her father ignored her.
Damien started to stand. Leo lunged forward and Lili opened her mouth to admit that Damien was not the man.
But before she made a sound, Damien’s twin, Alexander, pushed back his chair and rose. “Sir, you have it wrong. Damien is innocent. I am the guilty one.” Alex stood tall, his powerful shoulders drawn back, his haunted eyes level, frighteningly blank.
Lili clapped her hand over her mouth and swallowed bile. Yes, she understood that Alex had no choice but to reveal himself at that point. He couldn’t just sit there and allow her father to take his ridiculous scimitar to poor Damian, who for once was not guilty of seducing someone he shouldn’t have.
But still … dear Holy Virgin, what now?
Everyone was gaping in shock.
They couldn’t believe that Alex was the one, which didn’t surprise Lili. She could hardly believe it herself—and she’d been there when it happened. They all knew that she’d always despised Alex, and that he felt the same way about her. Plus, well, Alex wasn’t interested in women anyway. Not even in women he liked and respected. Not anymore. Not since whatever unspeakable horrors had befallen him in Afghanistan.
And yet …
The two of them did have sex together. Just once, in the second week of April. Once. That was all it had taken to plant a new life inside her, to change her world forever.
Alex. She’d lost her virginity to Alex. She still had trouble believing she’d done that. Because, honestly, how could she?
Her father seemed as shocked as the rest of them. “Alexander?” he asked, his voice suddenly without force, utterly disbelieving.
But then his fury returned full force. With a bloodcurdling shout, he raised his sword again and went for Alex—Alex, who didn’t so much as flinch, but simply stood there, apparently ready to take whatever punishment her father saw fit to inflict upon him.
“Stop!” Lili shouted.
Her father didn’t even break stride. She rushed forward to intercept him.
But Her Sovereign Highness Adrienne, Lili’s dear friend and Alex’s mother, was faster.
Montedoro’s monarch rose lightly to her feet. She had a truly calm, almost-pleased expression on her legendary face. As though she couldn’t have been more delighted to learn that her dark and damaged son had actually lurched back to life long enough to impregnate Lili, whom everyone knew was like another daughter to her.
Adrienne planted her noble person between the enraged king and her third-born son. Her smile turned even sweeter as she faced down Lili’s father. “Leo,” she said gently in warm, melodious tones. “I’m so glad you’ve come. And I think that now would be the perfect opportunity to discuss the wedding, don’t you?”
Chapter Two
There were top secret meetings all that day. Alexander had work he should have been doing. But he put his work aside to be there while negotiations for his marriage to Lili were carried through.
No, there was no question as to the marriage itself. There would be one, and right away. Within the next day or two, everyone agreed—that is, everyone except Lili.
But no one was listening to Lili. They all tuned her out, even though she babbled incessantly. About love. And relationships. And her rights as a twenty-first-century woman.
“This is between Alexander and me,” she insisted. And, “I refuse to marry a man who doesn’t love me.” And, “I just think it’s wrong, that’s all. I just don’t think it’s right and I don’t see how you all can carry on blithely making your plans when I have said over and over that this is my decision—mine and Alex’s—and we need to be left alone to work this out, just the two of us. We need to come to some sort of peace between us, some sort of real understanding as people, as a woman and a man, before we can even begin to discuss something as enormous and life-altering as holy matrimony…. ”
They let her babble. They all knew you couldn’t shut her up if you tried.
More than once, she’d turned those huge aquamarine eyes his way. She reproached him. “Alex. Please. You know we have to talk.”
Whenever she turned those eyes on him, he only stared back at her long and steadily and without expression, until she gave in and looked away. Occasionally, Alex’s mother would pat Lili’s hand or give her a hug. And then the rest of them would go back to deciding what needed to be done.
Alex kept his peace through each of the interminable meetings. He sat at the bargaining table or stood by the door. And other than to make it perfectly clear that of course he and Lili would wed, he said nothing.
What could he say? He was still reeling in shock to learn that Silly Lili, as he always used to call her when they were younger, was carrying his child. He should have read her damned letter, or answered one of her strange, frantic telephone calls. But he hadn’t read the letter. And when she called, she’d mentioned nothing about a pregnancy. He’d assumed she was just being emotional as usual, that she was only after an opportunity to exercise the unpleasant flair for the dramatic that she’d inherited from Leo. He’d been sure she only wanted a chance to cry and carry on, to call him a cad and a defiler of innocent women.
How could he have touched her? He was completely disgusted with himself at what he had done. He wasn’t a defiler of innocent women.
Or he hadn’t been. Until that day two months before, when he’d heard someone sobbing outside his palace apartment. He still had no idea what had possessed him to look and see who it was.
He’d opened his door and stuck his head out. And there was Lili, all in white, kneeling on the inlaid tiles of the corridor floor, her long, pale gold hair falling forward, hiding her pretty face, her slim shoulders shaking with her sobs.
She must have heard the door open because she glanced up. Still sobbing, her eyes red and her perfect nose redder, tears streaming down her cheeks, she caught sight of him in the doorway. With a cry of sheer misery, she leaped to her feet. “Oh, Alex. The most terrible thing has happened. It’s Rule.” She said his older brother’s name with another agonized cry. “He’s married someone else.”
He should have retreated right then. He should have shut the door and locked it and not opened it again.
Instead, he’d pulled the door open wider. She must have taken that as an invitation. She’d thrown herself into his arms and drenched the front of his shirt with her tears.
By that point, he absolutely should have pushed her away and shut the door. But he hadn’t. He’d taken her into his sitting room and sat with her on the sofa and listened as she continued wildly sobbing, as she poured out her misery—that his brother loved another, that Rule would never be marrying her now, that Rule didn’t love her and never had. That she was nothing more than an honorary little sister to him, and always had been.
When she finally paused to suck in a few shaky, hiccupy breaths, he’d handed her a tissue and told her exactly what he was thinking. “Calm yourself, Lili. There is so much true suffering that exists in this world. Don’t you realize how little your petty problems matter in the larger scheme of things?”
His remarks had not gone over well. Lili had responded in her usual way. With an ear-flaying shriek of outrage, she’d drawn back her hand to slap his face.
He should have let her do that, allowed her to vent a little more of her considerable frustration. But no. He’d automatically caught her wrist before she could carry through.
And that was when it happened.
He still had no idea how. Or why.
All at once, she was in his arms. She smelled like her name, like some fine, sweet, exotic flower. She … overwhelmed him. There was no other word for it. Silly Lili overwhelmed him. Somehow, at that moment, having her in his arms was like holding hope and light and all the good things that were lost to him forever. Her skin was so soft and her eyes were the incomparable blue of lapis lazuli.
And then her mouth was under his, opening, sighing….
Something snapped in him. Something gave way.
What happened then was raw and perfect and really quite beautiful.
With Lili.
Lili, of all people.
Afterward, she smiled. So softly. Contentedly. And she reached up and laid her delicate, graceful little hand against his cheek. “Alex,” she whispered, as though his very name held wonder for her now.
He couldn’t bear that. He didn’t need her looking at him like that. She should never ever look at him like that.
And so he’d said without inflection, “You should go now.”
She did go. She pulled on her clothes swiftly—and silently, for once. Without looking at him again, without so much as another word, she left him.
After she was gone, he’d called himself any number of ugly and richly deserved names. And then he’d told himself it was best for her if they simply put the unfortunate incident behind them, if they went on with their separate lives as though it had never happened.
That was what he’d been trying to do. And then she sent that letter that he hadn’t allowed himself to open. She’d called him. Twice. Both times she’d left messages demanding he call her but giving no reason whatsoever why he should.
Now, at last, he knew why. Now it all made sense.
There would be a child and that meant they couldn’t put what had happened behind them. Now they only needed to do the right thing. And both her father and his family were as eager as Alex was to turn this potential disaster around.
A marriage between Leo’s only daughter and one of the Bravo-Calabretti princes would bolster the sometimes-strained relations between Alagonia and Montedoro. For years, most of the world had assumed that Lili would end up wed to Rule. But Rule’s heart had turned elsewhere. And none of the other three Bravo-Calabretti princes had seemed suitable matches for the Alagonian heir presumptive.
The baby, however, changed everything. Diplomatically speaking, Alex would do just as well as Lili’s groom as his older brother would have. The marriage would not only give his unborn child his name, but it would also forge an important bond between his and Lili’s countries.
No, he and Lili didn’t care much for each other. Nonetheless, their union would be a useful thing in more ways than one.
At four that afternoon, in the sitting room of the sovereign’s apartment, with all the doors firmly locked against spying eyes and listening ears, Lili was still arguing, still trying to put the brakes on. “Why should I marry Alex? How many times do I have to say it? He doesn’t love me and I don’t love him. We don’t even like each other. And we’re only asking for disaster to race to the altar this way.”
Leo sent her one of his fulminating glances—but at least when he answered her, he wasn’t shouting. “He’s the father of your child, Liliana. You are two months along. There is no time to waste and you have no choice.”
Lili sucked in an outraged breath—and started in again. “No choice? Excuse me. Of course I have a choice. This is not the dark ages, thank you very much, Papa. Nowadays, even a princess has a right to—”
“Shh, now, Lili. Hush.” Alex’s mother patted her hand. “It will be all right, my dearest. You’ll see.”
“But, Adrienne …”
His mother touched Lili’s cheek. “Shh. Think.” Gently she reminded Lili of what they all knew. “This could turn into an international incident. And no one wants that. I know it’s hopelessly stuffy and backward in many ways, but the rules for you, Lili—the rules for all of us—are different. We’re held to a higher standard. And neither your father nor Alex’s father nor I want our names or our family reputations dragged through the mud. No one wants a child of yours and Alexander’s to be born a bastard. Come now, Lili. You don’t want your child to be illegitimate, do you? Your child, by rights, will rule Alagonia one day. Why make it possible for anyone to question those rights?”
“I, well, I …” Lili’s full lower lip began to quiver.
His mother held out her arms. Lili went into them.
Adrienne held Lili close and stroked her slim back and said quietly to the rest of them, “So, then, the plan is made. As far as the world is concerned, Lili and Alex have been secretly in love for some time now—and are already married. That should serve to eliminate any potential for unpleasant public speculation as to the legitimacy of the child.”
They all nodded agreement. Lili released a small, strangled sob, but for once didn’t argue.
The story would be that he and Lili had just that day informed their families of their earlier elopement. Alex would shoulder the blame for the lack of a large, formal public ceremony. The official line would be that Alexander, such a private person after the horrible events he’d endured in Afghanistan, couldn’t bear all the pomp and circumstance of a royal wedding. So they had exchanged their vows in private before a sympathetic and discreet priest.
They would tell the world that both families were stunned at the news. And also deliriously happy for the newlyweds. Love was what mattered after all. They were all beside themselves with joy to learn that Her Royal Highness Liliana and His Serene Highness Alexander had bound themselves to each other, heart and hand, for as long as they both should live.
The real marriage was to take place in secret the next day, as the world at large got the fabricated story that he and Lili had eloped more than two months ago.
Bound. To Lili. She would drown him in her endless tears. And if he managed to survive the flood, she would then proceed to talk him to death.
But it couldn’t be helped and he knew it. For him and Lili, marriage was the only solution to this particular problem. And eventually, she would grow tired of trying to batter down a door he was never going to open. She would leave him alone to pursue his goals in peace. She would take care of the child and prepare herself—or their son, should the child be a boy—to rule Alagonia in time.
Once the plan was set, a light meal was brought in. They filled their grumbling stomachs as they waited for the lawyers to produce the endless array of necessary documents. When the documents were finally ready, they signed.
At last, at a little past nine, the final i was dotted. They were finished for the day.
Alex retired to his apartment. He showered and got into bed. To try and wind down a little, he treated himself to a few chapters of an excellent book on the covert operations of the special tactics units of the United States.
By one in the morning, he’d finished the book. The winding down was not happening. So he threw on some workout clothes and went to join the men of the all-new Montedoran special forces, which he had been instrumental in creating. The Covert Command Unit had barracks and training yards accessible through a series of tunnels beneath the palace.
Late into the night, Lili tossed and turned.
She’d been coerced. Unfair pressure had been brought to bear upon her. No one, not even Adrienne, whom she adored, had listened to her. In the States, they had a word for the way she’d been treated.
Railroaded.
Yes, she’d been railroaded into agreeing to marry a man she didn’t like, a man who made no secret of the fact that he thought she was a useless, silly person who talked too much. She yearned to find a way to back out of the marriage tomorrow.
But there was no way. There was no escape for her. She was a princess, the heir to a throne, and as Adrienne had made so painfully clear, different rules applied for her. Her duty demanded that she put aside her own feelings and desires and marry Alex. And for the sake of her child and her country, she would do exactly that.
All her life, she had dreamed of true, forever love. She wouldn’t have that now. Not with Alex. Alex didn’t love her. He didn’t love anyone. Maybe he couldn’t love anyone. Not anymore, at any rate.
He’d always been a cool and distant sort of man. But since he’d been captured and held prisoner in Afghanistan, his cool nature had turned to ice. And the distance he’d always maintained between himself and others had become a chasm too wide and deep for anyone, even the most determined of women, to cross.
Lili shivered at the thought of a lifetime bound to him, shackled to a man who never smiled, who looked right through her. The best she was ever going to get from Alex was the occasional bout of really splendid lovemaking.
Because that, at least, had been glorious. It seemed impossible that it could have been that good.
But it was—and she had been a virgin, untried and inexperienced, completely unskilled in the ways of passion and sexual fulfillment.
She sighed in spite of everything. It was a dreamy sigh. She couldn’t help it. Alex had shown her heaven that day in April. He’d shown her heaven—and then coldly cast her out.
And what about the baby? Was there any hope for her child? Would her poor little one have to grow up with a distant, coldhearted father? Her own father was far from perfect, but blustery King Leo’s unconditional love for her was the cornerstone of Lili’s life. She didn’t think she could have survived losing her dear mum five years ago if she hadn’t had her darling papa to turn to during that bleak time.
No, she simply couldn’t do it. International incident be damned, she would not let her child grow up with a distant, detached father.
Lili turned her head on the pillow and stared at the ornate miniature table clock by the bed. It was 3:02 a.m. And no matter what her father and Adrienne did or said, she was not going to be Alex’s bride that day. Not unless she and Alex could first come to some basic agreement about the marriage they were entering into and the kind of life they were going to share.
She rose from the bed, slipped her feet into satin slippers and pulled on her blush-pink silk dressing gown. Before she could let herself weaken, before she gave up without even trying and returned to her bed, she hurried through the sitting room of the apartment that had always been considered hers when she visited the Prince’s Palace.
Silently, she emerged into the corridor outside her rooms. She closed her door with great care. Then she took off at a run down the wide, arching hallways, her soft slippers making no sound on the marble floors.
Fortune smiled upon her, at least a little. She saw no one, which meant that no one waylaid her, no one asked her what in the world she thought she was doing, wandering the palace hallways so very late at night.
When she reached the door to Alex’s suite, her courage failed her. She stiffened her spine and retied the sash of her robe and gave the beautifully carved door three sharp raps with her knuckles.
Nothing. No answer.
She knocked again. And then, pausing to send furtive glances down the hallway in both directions, she knocked a third time. She pressed her ear to the heavy door.
Not a sound within. He wasn’t there.
Or, more likely knowing him, he was there, but he wasn’t answering.
Hah. If he thought she could be put off so easily, he should prepare for a surprise. Lili had a hairpin and she knew how to use it. In fact, she thought as she stuck the two pin ends in the keyhole and twisted them in a manner both precise and effective, she was a lot more capable than many gave her credit for.
The simple lock turned and the door swung silently inward. For the first time in too long, Lili allowed herself a small smile of satisfaction.
The high-ceilinged antechamber, dimly lit by wall fixtures, was deserted. Lili tiptoed inside and silently closed and locked the door behind her.
“Alex?” she whispered. “Are you there?” And then she drew back her shoulders and tried again, louder. “Alex, I mean it. We have to talk.” She waited. “Alex? Alex!”
Nothing.
She straightened her robe and flipped her hair back over her shoulders with both hands and marched into the dim sitting room. “Alex?”
No one was there.
So she turned to the hallway that led to his bedroom. When she got there, the door was shut.
As if a closed door could stop her now. She grasped the latch. Unlocked. She pushed the big door inward upon the darkened room—the room where Alex had carried her that bright April morning, the room where he had …
No. She wasn’t going to think about it. She wasn’t going to remember. She had more important things on her mind right now than the wonder and beauty that had occurred in this room—and the cold, heartless way he’d dismissed her afterward.
“Alex …”
Only silence greeted her. She flipped the wall switch and stared at the wide, empty, unmade bed. The tangled sheets and covers spilled to the floor. Apparently, Alex had not been able to sleep, either.
But where was he now?
The door to the bath stood wide. She marched over there and looked in.
No one.
Lovely. She’d worked up her courage to confront him, even gone so far as to break into his apartment. And he didn’t even have the good grace to be here so that she could tell him exactly what she thought of him.
What now?
Suddenly, she felt like a balloon with a slow leak. She returned to the massive carved bed and hoisted herself up onto it. “Oh, Alex …” She blew out a discouraged breath and let her shoulders slump. “What am I going to do with you?” She stared down at her little satin slippers and wondered if he would be back soon.
You just never knew with Alex. You could never predict the choices he might make. It was very annoying.
With another long sigh, she let her gaze wander. The room was large and well-appointed. Her glance caught on the night-table photo of Alex and that American friend of his—the one who had been with him in Afghanistan when he was captured, the one who had not made it back. In the photo, Alex and his friend sat together in a dusty open Jeep. They both wore desert fatigues and carried rifles.
They were also both grinning, the sunlight refracting off the lenses of their aviator sunglasses. Lili stared at Alex’s image and wondered if she’d ever seen him grin like that. Judging by the square, flat-topped buildings in the background and the desert terrain, she guessed the picture must have been taken during that ill-fated trip to Afghanistan. Taken before either Alex or his friend had any idea what was going to happen to them.
She didn’t know the details of Alex’s capture and imprisonment. But she did know it had lasted four years. Four endless years during which he must have suffered terribly, during which his friend had lost his life. Four years until, somehow, six months ago, he’d managed to escape.
Lili flopped back onto the tangled sheets and stared up at the coffered ceiling. All right, she felt a tiny bit … abashed. Looking at that picture reminded her that Alex did have his reasons for being Prince Cold, Mean and Unresponsive. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what he must have endured during his time as a prisoner. She needed to be more understanding, to keep in mind what he’d been through when she wanted to call him unflattering names and slap his expressionless face.
Lili kicked off her slippers. They plopped to the bedside rug. She promised herself that she would try to be nicer to him. She would keep in mind the awfulness of what he’d survived. From this moment on, she’d make more of an effort to be understanding and patient and not to burst into tears or let her temper get the better of her.
She was so busy telling herself that she would really try and treat Alex more kindly that she didn’t hear the outer door open or even notice that a light in the sitting room had popped on. She remained stretched across the tousled sheets on her back, her arms spread wide and her bare feet dangling over the side.
The last thing she expected was to hear Alex say, “Lili, it’s almost four in the morning. What in hell are you doing here?”
She popped to a sitting position with a shocked little squeak. “Eek! Alex, you scared me.”
He was dressed in a sweat-drenched T-shirt with the sleeves ripped off and a similarly sweaty pair of frayed gray sweatpants. In fact, everything about him was sweaty—his more-granitelike-than-ever face, his close-cropped, thick brown hair, his muscular arms and deep, broad chest.
There were scars on his arms and on his neck, pinkish-white and rough against his tanned skin. She started to feel real sympathy for him.
And then he muttered darkly, “I’ll do a lot more than just scare you if you don’t tell me why you’re in my rooms.”
Softly, she reminded him, “You wouldn’t talk with me yesterday.”
“That’s because there was nothing to say.”
I am not going to start shrieking at him. I am not going to slap his smug, cold face, she reminded herself. He has suffered too much and I am going to be understanding and gentle with him.
Lili straightened her robe, which had fallen open to expose a lot more of her thighs than he needed to see at that moment. And she tried to look dignified, even if he had caught her sprawled in complete dishabille across his bed. “I’ve come to you stealthily in the middle of the night because I saw no other choice in the matter.”
“No other choice,” he echoed in a growl. “I’ll give you another choice. Return to your rooms. Do it now.”
No shrieking, she reminded herself again. And then she drew in a slow breath and hitched her chin higher. “Alex, I mean it. We really must talk.”
Alex was certain he’d locked the outer door when he left. It wasn’t a high-security lock, but it certainly should have served to keep Silly Lili out. “How did you get in here?”
She granted him a coy look from under her astonishingly long, silky eyelashes. “I have my ways.”
It was no answer, but he realized about then that he probably wouldn’t get an answer from her. The main thing was to get her to go. “Back to your rooms, Lili.”
She sat even taller. “Not until we talk.”
How many times did he have to remind her that they had nothing to say to each other? He started toward her, determined to get rid of her.
She put up a hand. “If you touch me right now, I am going to start screaming. I will scream as I run out your door and down the corridor, without even pausing to put on my slippers. I will wake up every servant and guest in the palace. It will not be pretty and everyone will blame you for abusing an innocent barefoot princess who happens to be dressed only in her nightclothes. And, of course, someone will leak the story to the tabloids, which will wreak havoc on all your carefully engineered plans to make it look as though you and I are passionately and totally in love.”
He paused in midstep. “They are not my plans.”
“Oh, I beg your pardon. You fully agreed to them.” She folded her arms under her beautiful, perfect breasts, causing the pink silk of her robe to cling more tightly. Now he could see the faint outline of her nipples. They were very fine nipples, as he remembered all too well.
He reminded himself that he needed to get rid of her. “We had no choice but to agree to those plans. I saw no other option, given our situation. And now, if you’ll just go back to your—”
She cut him off. “We do have choices,” she said in a so-noble tone that made his teeth hurt. “We always have choices.”
“You are not only hopelessly naive, Lili, but you are also thoughtless and self-centered. And wrong.”
Those enormous blue eyes glittered like sapphires—dangerous sapphires. “Insult me to your heart’s content. It won’t work. I’m not leaving until you talk with me.”
“Lili,” he said, rough and low. He dared another step.
She threw out a hand, palm out. “I mean it. I will scream.”
He held her gleaming gaze with his own, steady on. “You wouldn’t dare.”
She smiled pleasantly—and stared right back. “Go ahead, try me.”
He realized he was actually afraid she just might do what she’d threatened. She had him by the short hairs, damn those eyes.
Without another word, he turned on his heel and headed for the bath. Once through the door, he shut it. Rather harder than necessary. He twisted the privacy lock—even though, apparently, privacy locks were no good against her. Too bad. She would enter the bath at her own risk. He stripped off his sweat-drenched clothing and took a shower. A long shower.
When he finished, he put on the robe that hung on the peg behind the door and returned to the bedroom.
She was still there, sitting in the same spot on the bed, her little hands folded in her lap. “I do hope your shower has refreshed you—and possibly even improved your attitude.” She gave a shrug and a sigh. “Well. One can hope.”
He said nothing to her, only exited back into the sitting room, where he proceeded directly to the liquor cabinet. He grabbed a crystal glass and a decanter of very old scotch and poured himself a stiff one. He was sipping it slowly when she spoke from behind him.
“We have more than my country and your country to think of, Alex.”
He turned and faced her. She looked way too determined. And way too beautiful, with those amazing eyes of hers, those full pink lips and all that thick, silky, pale yellow hair. Raising his glass to her, he took another slow sip.
She laid her hand against her still-flat belly. “There’s the baby. The baby is what matters most of all.”
“Good. Then don’t allow him to be born a bastard.”
“Being born illegitimate is not the worst thing that can happen to a child.”
“Of course it’s not. But I wouldn’t call it a good thing. Would you call it a good thing, Lili?”
“I didn’t say it was a good thing.”
He topped off his drink. “Because it’s not a good thing. Not for a child who should have the right to a crown and could be denied that right because his mother refuses to marry his father.”
“My baby will have a father who loves him—or her,” she announced. “If you can’t love this baby, the baby is better off without you.”
“All right. I will love the baby.” He set down the decanter. “Happy now?”
“Not especially. Alex, if you can’t at least try to make a real marriage with me, I won’t marry you.” She spoke more softly then, and her eyes seemed suddenly far away. “All my life, I’ve wanted one thing above all—to have true love like my parents had. Like your mother and father have. Like Max had with Sophia.” Maximilian was the heir to his mother’s throne. Max’s wife, Sophia, had died while he was in Afghanistan. “Love like Rule and Sydney have found.”
He studied her for a long time. He pondered the goal: to get her to let him give their child his name. To achieve the goal, he should tell her whatever she needed to hear, which apparently was that he loved her. Deeply and completely. Somehow, he couldn’t wrap his mouth around a lie that large. “I can’t give you what you want, Lili. It’s simply not in me.” He steeled himself for her tears, for one of her big, emotional displays.
Her eyes remained dry. And when she spoke, it was calmly. Reasonably. “I realize that. I can accept that.”
Did he believe her? Hardly. She might be the most annoying woman he’d ever known, the most overwrought and emotional, the biggest chatterbox. But within her there lurked a will of iron. If she wanted something strongly enough, she would never rest until she had it.
Or until she drove anyone who stood in the way of her having it stark, raving mad.
Plus, beneath all the sweetness and meaningless chatter, she was quite intelligent. Sometimes she behaved stupidly, but there was a perfectly good brain inside that gorgeous head of hers. She was using it now. He could see the cogs turning. She was about to lay down terms.
He already knew what kind of terms. Terms that would have him agreeing to give her more than he could afford to give, more than he even knew how to give anymore. Five years ago, maybe. But not anymore. Whatever that place was inside a man, that place a woman filled and made warm and good and hopeful. That place was dead in him now. Uninhabitable.
She went on. “What I want from you is for you to try.”
He purposely did not make the scoffing sound that rose in his throat. “Try.”
“Yes. I want you make an effort to be a real husband to me. I want you to spend time with me. I want you to have breakfast with me every day and dinner as well. I want you to give me—to give us—the evenings, that time after dinner. I want us to spend our evenings together, just the two of us. I want you to tell me about your day and I will tell you about mine. I want us to share, Alex.”
Share. Did it get any worse? She wanted him to share.
She was still talking. “I want you to read the books I choose for you.”
“Books. Hold on just a minute. You’re choosing what books I read?”
“Not all the books you read, of course not.”
“I suppose you’ll have me studying those romance novels you so enjoy.”
“Don’t judge romance novels until you’ve read a few of them. One can learn a lot about love and life and relationships from a good romance.”
He had no words to reply to that one. So he said nothing. He didn’t really need to say much around Lili anyway. She had the talking covered, and then some.
She said, “No. Actually, I didn’t plan to have you reading romances, though I’m sure it would be good for you if you did.”
He made a grunting sound and left it at that.
“But I do think if you would just spend a little time with a few books on how to develop a meaningful and loving relationship with your spouse, it would really help you. Help us. And then once you’ve read the books I choose for you, we can discuss them—and tell me, have you been seeing a counselor or a priest?”
“For what?”
“For … help, with all you’ve been through. Surely you’ve noticed that you’ve changed, Alex.”
Yes, Lili, I’ve noticed. And no, I haven’t seen a counselor or a priest and I don’t intend to.”
“Oh, Alex …”
“And as to those books on love and marriage that you mentioned …”
“Yes?”
He knocked back more scotch. “No.”
Gingerly, she inquired, “No as to …”
All of it, he thought. He said, “Not the books, Lili. Or the priest. Or the counselor.”
“Ahem. Well. What about the rest?”
He saw no other way. He was going to have to pretend to go along, to bargain and then reluctantly come to an agreement. He needed to convince her that he would do what she wanted, that he would try. “Yes to the meals—the breakfasts, the dinners.”
“And the evenings? What about the evenings?”
He let the silence draw out before grunting, “All right, damn it. The evenings, too.”
She actually clapped her hands and the most radiant smile bloomed on those plump, way-too-kissable lips. “Oh, I’m so glad.”
But not every evening,” he said. “Two evenings a week.”
“Six.”
“Three.”
“Four.”
He repeated his previous offer. “Three.”
She considered, then stipulated, “Friday, Saturday and Sunday.”
“When possible.”
“Three at any rate. And you have to try to make them the evenings I just asked for.”
There was that word again. Try. Such a flexible word. And such a simple thing, to say one was trying when one actually wasn’t. “All right,” he grudgingly agreed.
“Wonderful. And we will share an apartment—this apartment will be fine.” She was too damn quick by half. He’d been counting on them keeping their separate suites, on her heading back to Alagonia as soon as the ink was dry on their secret marriage license.
But he supposed there was no help for it. If they were to pretend to be deeply in love for the whole world to see, they certainly couldn’t be living in separate quarters. “Fair enough.”
“And I will expect you to be my birth coach when the baby arrives. That means we’ll be going to childbirth classes together.”
He sent her a speaking look, one that told her exactly what he thought of being her birth coach.
Quickly, she added, “Spare me the put-upon glances. You’ll have time to become accustomed to the idea of the childbirth classes. They won’t even begin for four or five months yet.”
Anything could happen in four months. And the goal was to get her to marry him tomorrow. “All right.”
“Wonderful, then. For the first year, I’m willing to live here, in Montedoro, with you.”
The first year? “How generous of you.”
She nodded. “I know you have your … secret fighting force that you’re, um, working with.”
“The CCU is not a secret, Lili,” he informed her flatly. “Montedoro has no standing army. It’s simply expedient for us to have a small, specially trained corps of men at the ready to take action in a critical situation.”
“Yes. Expedient.” She wore an irritatingly patient expression. “I understand. And as I was saying, you need to be here for that. And as I mentioned earlier, I know you’ve been through a lot.”
“What does what I’ve ‘been through’ have to do with anything?” he demanded.
She answered carefully. “I just meant you’ve only been back for six months. I think you need more time here, in Montedoro, at the only home you’ve ever known, more time to … heal.”
To heal? How so? His wounds no longer festered. He’d put back on the thirty kilos he’d lost during his captivity, and then some. His “healing,” such as it was, was done. But he didn’t say that. He said nothing.
And she continued, “I’ve always loved Montedoro anyway. So let’s say a year, together, here at the Prince’s Palace. I’ll clear my calendar.”
“For the entire year?” She was constantly giving speeches at charity functions, working diligently to establish trusts for the needy. “Isn’t a year a bit extreme?”
“Perhaps, but necessary. I want our marriage to work. There’s the baby to think of, any way. I’ll want to take it easy from seven months or so on. And then I’ll need a few months to concentrate on our newborn. After the year is up, though, we will discuss a move to Alagonia—or a way to divide our time between our two countries.”
He had to give her credit. She was quite the negotiator. But it didn’t matter what he agreed to now. She would be fed up with him long before a year had passed. In the end, she would be only too happy for them to lead separate lives. He would make sure of that. “Agreed,” he said.
She folded her hands in front of her. “I want us to be happy, Alex.”
That was never going to happen. Not for him, anyway. “I’ll do my best.”
“And your best is all I can ask of you.” Her eyes were a deeper blue than ever right then, violet-blue. And her lips …
Better not to think about her lips. “Well, all right,” he said. “It’s settled.”
“Yes,” she answered quietly. “We’ll be married. This morning.”
He offered his hand.
She ignored it, surging forward on tiptoe instead, reaching up to take his shoulders, pulling him down and brushing the sweetest, too-swift kiss across his mouth. His senses flooded with the scent of her and her lips were infinitely soft. Warm.
He could have so easily broken free of her delicate hold, could have stepped back. But he didn’t.
He was captured. Disarmed. An all-too-willing prisoner.
Unbidden images flashed through his mind: Lili as a little girl, all dressed up as a fairy princess in a gossamer froth of purple and green, a foil crown on her head, a handmade wand in her hand. She wore wings, wire wings covered in transparent gauze. There was to be a play, wasn’t there, one of those plays she and his sisters were always putting on? He remembered her out by one of the fountains in the palace gardens, all dressed up to play a fairy princess, arms outstretched, turning in circles, giggling with happiness, her golden head tipped back, her face turned up to the sun.
The little-girl Lili faded away.
He saw her on that fateful morning in April, her hair flowing over his hands, her eyes dazed, dreamy. He saw the perfect curve of her hip, the concave temptation of her belly. The golden curls between her long, slim thighs. Her skin that was pale as milk, only faintly stained with pink.
Now, in the final hours of darkness on the morning they would marry, he had to steel himself to keep from reaching out, drawing her close, deepening that light, quick brush of a kiss.
Blessedly, within a few seconds, she let him go. “Good night, Alex,” she told him softly.
And then she turned and left him there, holding his empty glass and feeling bereft when he should have been grateful that she had gone.
Chapter Three
Lili’s wedding gown wasn’t white. It wasn’t even a gown, really. It was a very ladylike dress by Valentino, a tea-length dress of painted silk, dotted with tiny sprays of pale flowers on a ground of purple so dark it might have been midnight blue. Her suede shoes were deep violet, with ankle straps and very high heels. She smoothed her acres of hair into a simple twist and wore crystal Pavé earrings.
At a quarter of nine, she stood before the cheval glass in her palace guest apartment, ready to say her vows.
One of her attendants entered. “His Majesty is here.”
She greeted him in the sitting room. “Papa.”
He hesitated, the way he always did after he’d lost his wild Alagonian temper. He looked so hopeful and abashed. “Forgive me?”
“Always.”
He came to her and enfolded her in his lean arms, holding her close as he used to do so often when she was a child. When he took her by the shoulders and stepped away a little, he gazed at her admiringly. “You are a beauty, just like your mother.” There was sadness in his eyes when he spoke of his lost queen. “She looked forward so eagerly to your wedding day.”
Lili kept her smile in place, though her father’s image blurred a little to her misty eyes. “I feel she is watching over us, blessing us. I do, Papa.”
He touched her cheek, laid his hand lightly against her upswept hair. “She always planned a large, royal wedding for you, a wedding of state, a thing of pomp and glory, at D’Alagon.” D’Alagon was the Alagonian royal palace. It stood proudly on a hill above the capital city and port of Salvia. “I hope you’re not too disappointed, my little love, to have your wedding in secret, to wear a day dress, to marry here in Montedoro rather than at home.”
She leaned close to him and whispered in his ear, “It’s never the wedding, Papa. You know that. It’s the marriage that matters.”
His green eyes turned dark and stormy and a muscle twitched in his square jaw. “He’d better treat you well or I’ll have his head on a pike.”
She straightened his collar. “Papa, stop it. Alex is … troubled. But he’s a good man at heart.” As she said the words, she took comfort from realizing she believed them.
Her father held her close again. “Be happy, my little love.”
She thought of her groom again, of his shadowed eyes, his brusque, harsh ways. To be happy with Alex wasn’t going to be easy. Still, she promised her father, “I will, Papa. Happiness is something one chooses. And I do choose it. Gratefully.”
Lili married Alex at 10:00 a.m. in the St. Catherine of Siena Chapel at the palace. A trusted palace priest performed the ceremony. In attendance were only their immediate family members and several stone-faced, silent members of Alex’s Covert Command Unit. Alex’s men were assigned to guard the entrances and make certain that no one outside saw what was taking place within.
Later, a low-key family luncheon was held in the sovereign’s private apartment. Everyone seemed subdued, Lili thought. Even her usually loquacious father was quiet. Thoughtful.
Lili was content enough with her wedding day. The main thing was that she and Alex had reached a workable agreement in the hours before dawn. She had hopes that they might forge a real union as time went by. He stayed at her side through the meal. His eyes were guarded, his words few.
But then, he’d always been the quiet one, the scholar of the family, as serious and grim as his twin Damien was lighthearted and full of fun. From early childhood, Alex had wanted to be a writer, a journalist. He and Damien got their degrees from America, at Princeton, as their older brothers Max and Rule had done before them. Damien barely got through, but Alex was at the head of his class. He published early, a number of scholarly articles on Montedoran history, on the future of his people in the modern world.
Then he’d decided he wanted to write about Afghanistan. His American friend, Devon Lucas, the one who died while they were prisoners there, had somehow been involved in that decision. The story, at least as it had been told to Lili, was muddy at best. Three weeks into his stay in Afghanistan, Alex and his friend had vanished without a trace. He was gone for so long. They all assumed that both men must have died. But somehow, Alex had survived and made it home. And when he returned, the intense, brooding scholar had been replaced by a hardened warrior.
After the luncheon, Alex went off to work. She wasn’t sure exactly what he did, but the activity occurred in the training yard not far from the palace and no doubt involved much sweating and displays of manly strength. Lili spent a couple of hours with her new sisters-in-law in Rule and Sydney’s apartment. Sydney, as it turned out, was having a baby, too. She and Lili were both due in January. They agreed that the birth of a child was the perfect way to celebrate the New Year.
When Lili left the others, she went to change into a pale blue silk skirt and matching jacket. She met Alex, now dressed in a fine designer suit, in the private office of Her Sovereign Highness. For an hour, they received instructions and coaching from the palace press secretary.
And then, at five that afternoon, they were the star attraction at a press conference in the Blue Room of the State Apartments—the State Apartments being the official wing of the palace where public visits and activities took place. They sat at a long, red-clothed table flanked by her father on one side and Adrienne and Evan on the other. They faced row upon row of chairs filled with press people. There were cameras and microphones and a whole lot of questions.
Lili said what she had been told to say, as did Alex. They sat close together and held hands, as per the palace press secretary’s instructions.
It went as well as it could have been expected to go, Lili thought. As usual, the press people interrupted one another and talked over each other. They were impatient, demanding—and full of suspicion that more had to be going on than an elopement between a prince of Montedoro and Alagonia’s heir presumptive.
Lili concentrated on remaining calm and unruffled. On being gracious and not saying too much. She said how happy she was to be Alex’s wife. And how glad she felt that she and Alexander had finally come forward about their marriage. She was thrilled, she said, that she could now be Alex’s wife for all the world to see. And she was so looking forward to the gala dinner party that night. It would be a chance to celebrate their union with the people they loved the most.
Like all unpleasant occurrences in life, the press conference eventually came to an end. The press people were ushered out through one door. Lily, Alex, her father and Alex’s parents escaped through another.
Dinner, a formal affair to which Lili wore diamonds and a long strapless creation of metallic gold, was at eight in the ornate dining room within the state apartments. Lili’s father and all of the adult members of Alex’s family were there, plus several lords and ladies her father had invited from Alagonia and a number of top Montedoran officials and their wives. The courses were endless, the speeches and toasts more so. Lili smiled and chatted and played the part of the deeply in love, deliriously happy bride she was supposed to be.
She didn’t get any help from Alex. He sat at her side in his gorgeous white dinner jacket, looking distant and severe, saying little.
After an hour and a half of that, she leaned close to him and whispered, “This isn’t fair and you know it. You’re making me do all the work.”
He wrapped his powerful arm around her bare shoulders, causing a hot shiver to course through her, and he whispered back, “Ah, but Lili, you’re so very good at this.” His warm breath stirred the fine curls that had escaped her chignon. “And everyone knows about me, that I loathe any and all ceremonies of state—including endless, boring state dinners like this one. They all simply think I can’t wait to get you alone and out of that gold dress.”
She smiled at him in a way that she hoped looked adoring, and put her lips close to his ear again. “You promised to try.”
And he replied, equally softly, “And I am trying. I am trying so very hard…. ”
It was no use and she knew it. She would get nowhere with him here. Later, when they were alone, she would clarify their agreement and get his word that he would do better in the future. For the moment, she gave a light trill of laughter and eased out from under the stonelike weight of his arm.
The dinner went on until after eleven. Then there was music and brandy in the grand salon.
It was well after two in the morning before her new sisters-in-law spirited her off to Alex’s apartment in a nod to Montedoran wedding-night tradition. They helped her to dress in a long, white, semisheer nightgown just perfect for the virgin she wasn’t. They took down her hair. Laughing and joking, they urged her up into the bed and then pulled the covers over her. One by one, they kissed her and wished her happiness and eternal love.
And then, finally, they left her.
Alex’s brothers and a number of other young fellows brought him along a few minutes later. Lili heard them enter the apartment. They were laughing and singing some silly, bawdy song.
Out there in the main part of the suite, she heard a scuffle, which was part of the tradition. The groom was supposed to put up a fight when the other men helped him out of his clothes. It was all completely unnecessary, as it wasn’t even supposed to be their wedding night, because the story for the world was that they had married two months before.
But the brandy had flowed freely after dinner and the men seemed to have been caught up in the spirit of the evening. The scuffle beyond the door didn’t sound terribly loud or violent, though. Alex, apparently, was playing along.
And then, suddenly enough that she yanked the covers up to her chin and let out a gasp of surprise, the door was thrown open and Alex rolled in, naked as the day he was born.
His brothers and the other men were clustered in the doorway, some of them clearly more than a little bit drunk.
Alex jumped up, looking magnificent, even with all the angry scars that crisscrossed his back, his buttocks, his arms and his powerful thighs. He gave a low, perfect bow. “Good night, gentlemen.”
They all shouted, more or less in unison, “Good night!”
Alex slammed the door. And then he turned and strolled quite casually past the bed where she lay, wide-eyed, the covers up below her nose. He went into the bathroom. The latch clicked shut behind him.
Lili lay very still in the big bed. She heard noises beyond the outer bedroom door, footsteps moving away, men talking softly to each other.
In no time, there was silence.
She and Alex were alone in the suite.
Lili closed her eyes, took slow, even breaths to calm her suddenly racing heart, and waited.
After several minutes, the bathroom door opened. Alex emerged wearing the same robe he’d worn after his shower the night before.
Lili pushed the covers down and pulled herself up against the pillows. “Alex …” It came out breathless and hopeful.
He sent her an unreadable glance as he walked past the bed again. “Good night, Lili.” He pulled the door open, went through and shut it behind him.
Chapter Four
Equally stunned and furious, Lili glared at that shut door.
The hot, impetuous blood she’d inherited from her father spurted dangerously fast through her veins. More than she needed to draw her next breath, she longed to throw back the covers and follow him, to call him all manner of unattractive epithets, to demand that he honor his promises to her, that he at least talk with her….
But Lili was not only a product of her hot-blooded sire. She had her mother’s sweeter, gentler nature to call on, as well. Her mother, of English descent, born Lady Evelyn of Dun-Lyle, never raised her voice. Queen Evelyn had ways other than shouting and carrying on to get the things she wanted from life and from her passionate, stormy-natured husband.
“Never start a fight from a position of weakness, my darling,” Lili’s mother had advised with a Mona Lisa smile. “If you’re going in swinging, make sure you’re standing on firm ground or you’re likely to end up on your ass.”
Lili folded her arms across the front of her virginal nightgown, glared some more at the door Alex had just shut in her face, and admitted to herself that she was definitely in a position of weakness at the moment, that she was in no way on solid ground. If she went storming after him, she’d only come off the fool, the unwanted wife left alone in her marriage bed by her uninterested groom.
She had to give him credit, really. By leaving her alone in his bed, he’d made sex the issue—or rather, his unwillingness to have sex with her, even on their wedding night.
Sex was not the issue, she told herself firmly, although her wounded pride said otherwise. Their marriage, the agreements he’d made concerning their marriage and their innocent baby—those were the real issues. Gently, she laid her hand on her belly. “You, my dearest,” she whispered, “you are what matters most of all.”
All her life, so far, she’d followed blithely wherever her emotions led her. It was a rich and expansive way to live. But now she had the baby—and Alex, too, really—to consider. She needed to be guided more by her lost mother’s example than by that of her passionate father.
Thinking back to the agreements she’d made with her groom the night before, she realized there really had been no mention of sex, or even of the two of them actually sharing a bed. So, to be fair, he had not broken the letter of their bargain—only the spirit of it.
In the morning, however, he was obligated to share breakfast with her. They could talk then.
With a sigh, Lili plumped the pillows and turned off the bedside lamp.
She slept long and deeply.
When she opened her eyes again, it was after ten and the June sunshine streamed in through a space between the heavy, dark window coverings. She sat bolt upright in Alex’s bed and tossed back the covers.
After ten. Breakfast would be late. And her new husband had better be there if he knew what was good for him.
The door to the hallway opened just slightly.
Lili called, “I’m awake. Enter.” The door opened a fraction wider and a small, dark-haired woman in gray entered. Lili yawned and smiled. “Pilar, good morning.”
With a neat little bow and a quietly spoken “ma’am,” Lili’s favorite longtime attendant entered and drew the curtains. Pilar accompanied Lili wherever she traveled. The maid was a treasure—organized, pleasant and helpful. Also ever-available to attend to Lili’s needs was her kinswoman Solange Moltano, her lady-in-waiting. Solange was a bit distant and cool. She and Lili had never really hit it off. Lili traveled without her whenever possible. It hadn’t been that difficult to leave Solange behind this time because her father had spirited her off in the middle of the night.
Pilar said nothing about the absence of Lili’s husband. But Lili caught the look of concern in the maid’s dark eyes for a split second before she hid her true feelings behind a smile. Pilar’s loyalty was absolute, so Lili didn’t worry she might carry tales.
But there were a lot of servants in the Prince’s Palace and news traveled fast between them. The story was supposed to be that she and Alex were madly in love. Who was going to believe the story if it got out that he avoided her bed?
Yes, she and Alex would have a lot to talk about that morning.
She told Pilar what she wanted to wear and then padded barefoot into the bathroom. Within a half hour, she was dressed and ready for the day—ready to have a long talk with Alex about the promises he wasn’t keeping.
But then she emerged from the master bedroom to find that her groom was not in the apartment. There were several rooms. She checked them all. No sign of him. In the two other bedrooms, the beds were already made up—or had not been slept in at all.
The apartment had its own small galley-style kitchen so that the prince who lived there might have his meals prepared separately if he wished. In the kitchen, she found a large, muscular man with a bushy red beard. He was stirring something in a big yellow bowl. He introduced himself as Rufus Thermopolis. He said he loved to cook and would be happy to prepare anything Her Highness might desire.
Lili thanked him and asked for eggs and toast, which she ate at the small table right there in the kitchen. Why stand on ceremony with her husband’s man? And why eat alone in the apartment dining room when she could sit here in the cozy little kitchen and smell the lemon cake Rufus had just popped into the oven?
She debated whether to ask Rufus where her husband might have wandered off to. It was probably safe to be frank with the red-haired giant. Alex wouldn’t have anyone in his quarters he didn’t trust absolutely—well, other than Lili herself, of course. She had no doubt her new husband didn’t trust her one bit.
He also had no compunction about breaking his word to her. At the very least, he could have left her some explanation for his absence. Lili sipped her breakfast tea and admitted that she had to face reality here. Alex had crossed the line between pushing the boundaries of their agreement and breaking faith with her outright.
It was all right, she told herself, although it most definitely wasn’t. He couldn’t avoid her forever. Eventually, he would have to deal with her.
But Alex didn’t deal with her. He ignored her. Actively. He made no pretense of keeping the agreements he’d made with her. All day, he was nowhere to be found. He didn’t return to the apartment until long after dinner. She was waiting up for him in the sitting room.
He appeared dressed in black trousers and a casual knit shirt and her heart did something nerve-racking at the sight of him. Too bad his eyes were as haunted and distant as ever. She had no idea where he’d been all day and well into the evening.
She rose when he came in. “Alex.” With a supreme effort of will, she kept her voice calm and even. “I’m very angry with you. This is all wrong. You haven’t kept your word to me.”
He actually had the stones to shrug. And he said, with nerve-flaying reasonableness, “I needed for you to marry me, for the child’s sake.”
Her throat clutched. She longed to clear it with a nice, long, loud shriek of outrage. But she didn’t. She remembered her mother, who never raised her voice, and her unborn baby, who deserved better from her. “So you lied to me.” She gave him back his damnable reason, and then some. “Straight to my face, without a qualm. You lied to me. You made promises you had no intention of keeping.”
“Spare me the drama, Lili.”
Her adrenaline spiked. She sucked in a calming breath and refused to give in to it. “Drama?”
“Drama, yes. Your stock in trade.”
“I beg your pardon. I’m not being dramatic. I have not raised my voice. I have not picked up a single object to hurl at that obstinate head of yours. I am simply asking you, why did you lie to me?”
“I just told you why I lied. You left me no choice.”
“Don’t you talk to me about choices, Alexander. You had a choice. You could have been truthful. You could have told me honestly that you had no intention of ever making any effort to be a real husband to me.”
And have you do something ridiculous, like run away or stage a big scene where you swore publicly never to marry me? No. There needed to be a marriage, and with as little fuss as possible. We owed that to the child. If you’re not happy with the way things are, so be it. Divorce me.”
She gasped and sputtered. “Oh, you ought to be ashamed.”
“I’m not ashamed. Not in the least. And as far as the divorce goes, consider the child, won’t you? Wait until he’s born, so his legitimacy will never be at issue.”
“You know very well I don’t believe in divorce. Marriage is forever.”
“What can I say? So then, get used to the way things are. Go about living your life and I will go about living mine.”
Lili shook her head. “I do not believe this. The way you manipulated me, that was so … clever,” she said in disgust. “The way you bargained with me, the way you refused to read books on love and marriage or to see a counselor or a priest …”
He arched a brow. “I had to make you believe I actually intended to do what you asked of me, to try, as you put it. If I’d given you an easy agreement to everything you demanded, you would only have become suspicious. You’d have guessed that I didn’t have any intention of doing what I agreed to do.”
She did more deep breathing. “You are impossible. Incorrigible.”
“Good night, Lili.” He started to turn.
She reached out and grabbed his granite slab of an arm. “Wait.”
He stopped, eased his arm free of her grip and told her flatly, “There’s nothing more to say.”
“Yes, there is. I have a... question, a question that’s been bothering me for weeks now.”
“Lili, please …”
She wanted to cry, to break down and sob her heart out. But somehow, she controlled herself. She held the tears at bay. “I just … I don’t understand, Alex. Why in the world did you have sex with me in the first place?”
That got to him. He actually looked at a loss for a moment. But then he regained his inhuman composure. He said in a tone that spoke of limitless boredom, “I’m a man. You’re a woman. It happens.”
“No. Uh-uh. That’s not good enough. What happened between us that morning was so hopelessly mad, so completely insane. And so very beautiful.”
“Lili, don’t.” His voice had a ragged edge to it now.
And she refused to back off. “I mean it. It makes no sense. It’s true you’re not smooth or romantic by nature. You’re hardly the kind who sweeps a woman off her feet. You’re more the type to knock her down and drag her off to your cave. But you are a prince. Women love princes. And there are a lot of women—beautiful, desirable women—who find the strong and surly type irresistible. You could have slaked your lust with one of them.”
He actually blinked. “Slaked my lust?”
“Well, I mean, if lust was your problem that day.”
“My … What in the … My lust?” Now he was the one sputtering.
Truth to tell, she found his sudden agitation rather satisfying. “I’m only remarking that you could have been with someone you don’t totally despise, someone on birth control, for heaven’s sake.”
He blinked some more. “That’s a ridiculous question—or did you even ask a question?”
“I did. I asked you why you had sex with me. Why, Alex? Just tell me why.”
He narrowed those strange, piercing eyes at her. They were looking considerably more lively than usual, those eyes of his. He hedged, “It’s a ridiculous question.”
She didn’t give in. “No, it’s not. Answer me.”
Of course he just had to turn it around on her. “Why did you have sex with me?”
She hitched up her chin at him. “You’re just trying to put me off.”
“You don’t have an answer, do you?” he asked smugly. “I see no reason why I should have to answer a question you can’t even answer yourself.”
As it happened, she did have an answer to her own question. She’d spent a lot of time pondering that one. “All right. Fine. I’ll go first. I had sex with you because I was sad and desperate, because I’d lost Rule, and was having to admit that I’d never had Rule, that I’d believed myself in love with someone who never thought of me that way, someone with whom I’d never shared anything but a … mutual fondness. And then you let me in your door, you listened to me. Or so I thought. Until you finally spoke and told me how my ‘petty problems’ meant nothing. I was outraged then. That I had been such a fool as to cry in front of you, as to pour out my suffering to someone like you. I raised my hand to slap you and you caught my wrist and … all at once, I looked in your eyes and I wanted to be lost in them. So I was. For a little while.”
He seemed calmer suddenly. And not in a good way. For a moment, she’d had his attention, raised a spark. But now, he’d shut her out, retreated behind his walls of nonresponsiveness again. “My reasons were similar to yours,” he said evenly.
“Oh, please. What hopeless love had you lost?”
“Not love. Not that kind of love. But I have … lost.”
She understood then. “Your friend. Your American friend …”
That did it. His eyes went flat. Whatever opening she’d had with him, so briefly, was completely gone. His mind and heart were shut tight against her.
He said, “I’ll tell you once more. We needed to be married. That’s the end of it as far as I’m concerned. We can stay married and lead our own separate lives. Or not. That will be your choice.”
“I do not believe this is happening.”
“Believe it,” he said.
“You’re a liar.”
He didn’t even flinch. “Call me what you will.”
“I thought that … Well, as much as I’ve always disliked your judgmental pronouncements and superior attitude toward me, I held on to the belief that you were a man of integrity. That your word was your bond. Never would I have pegged you as someone who would lie outright, who would make a bargain and then renege on it without a second thought. But I see I was wrong. I see that I’ve married a man who will blithely lie if he thinks a lie is ‘necessary.’ I can’t even trust you to keep your word. And if I can’t trust you to keep your word, Alex, what is the point of even trying with you?”
He tipped his big head to the side and asked, “Is that a real question?”
“Yes, of course it is.”
“Then here’s your answer, Lili. There is no point in trying with me. Stop wasting your breath and your overwrought emotions. Good night.” And with that, he turned on his heel and left her.
She didn’t try to stop him that time. She knew he would only shake off her grip and keep walking.
Yes, she did long to trail after him. She hated giving up. Even now, when he’d made it so achingly clear that he was never going to be a real husband to her, she wanted to follow him, to confront him again, to insist that he talk with her, that he come to some sort of real understanding with her. And failing understanding, she longed to call him any number of horrible names and perhaps throw some small, heavy figurine at his head.
But then she thought of her mother who would never resort to screaming fits or tantrums or displays of violence. Her beloved, lost mum never even had to raise her voice to get her man’s attention. Lili thought of her baby who deserved a mother in command of her emotions. She said a prayer for patience to the Holy Virgin. And she told herself that if she had nothing else at that moment, she had her dignity.
And then she went to the bedroom Alex was apparently never going to share with her and got out her electronic reading device and read a long, delicious romance. In that romance the heroine was fearless and clever and so very resourceful, a woman who saved her hero’s life when they were stranded in the jungle. The handsome, wealthy hero thought he knew everything. At first. There was lovely, snappy dialogue and things got pretty rough for the two of them. Lili almost worried that they wouldn’t end up together. But by the end, love saved the day. The pair settled down to share a lifetime of wedded happiness.
Life should be more like a romance novel. Lili truly believed that.
She put her e-reader away and turned out the light and did her best not to think about Alex, about how she probably should have guessed what he was up to when he promised to try and make a real marriage with her. After all, she’d known him her whole life. He’d been the bane of her existence for as long as she could remember. He’d been telling her not to be a fool, not to be so silly, not to make up stories, not to cry and carry on since … well, since forever.
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