A Kiss, A Dance & A Diamond
Helen Lacey
A woman in her world – living a lovingKieran O’Sullivan is back in Cedar River, and so is Nicola Radici, who is as beautiful as the day he left her behind. The last thing Nicola wants is to forgive and forget. But when Kieran connects with her nephews, Nicola must let him into their life – and maybe her heart!
Kieran O’Sullivan never let anything—or anyone—stand in his way.
Even the girl he claimed to love.
But fifteen years later, the successful doctor’s back in Cedar River. So is Nicola Radici, still as beautiful as the day he left her behind. The last thing Nicola wants is to forgive and forget. But when Kieran connects with her nephews, their guardian has to let him into their life. And maybe even her heart.
HELEN LACEY grew up reading Black Beauty and Little House on the Prairie. These childhood classics inspired her to write her first book when she was seven, a story about a girl and her horse. She loves writing for Mills & Boon True Love, where she can create strong heroes with soft hearts and heroines with gumption who get their happily-ever-afters. For more about Helen, visit her website, www.helenlacey.com (http://www.helenlacey.com).
Also by Helen Lacey (#u6e94682a-dfbe-5f01-97e1-3d320b1fa724)
The Rancher’s Unexpected Family
Married to the Mum-to-Be
The Cowgirl’s Forever Family
Lucy & the Lieutenant
Three Reasons to Wed
The CEO’s Baby Surprise
Claiming His Brother’s Baby
Once Upon a Bride
Date with Destiny
His-and-Hers Family
Discover more at millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
A Kiss, a Dance & a Diamond
Helen Lacey
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
ISBN: 978-1-474-07755-2
A KISS, A DANCE & A DIAMOND
© 2018 Helen Lacey
Published in Great Britain 2018
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF
All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.
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www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
For Gareth and Stephen.
Because big brothers are the best.
Contents
Cover (#uda56e81d-fc9b-5159-bee8-9684c3a3a64f)
Back Cover Text (#ubb49aab0-8d2a-5a9b-8d0d-494579cdfc59)
About the Author (#u1ad92325-e2e0-5dff-93cb-e9decc2feea6)
Booklist (#ua7f5e584-bdaf-5dc3-be28-d0ecbbddc12a)
Title Page (#u6b645b4f-0b29-5a43-adfe-04d54560365b)
Copyright (#uf4359d98-3a73-52f0-939b-6d6a793cbc9e)
Dedication (#u4a757b01-d538-5b37-ba82-8057796f7894)
Chapter One (#u6209a6fe-da3d-58ef-91fa-eecb9d184f97)
Chapter Two (#u702042dd-0170-54a3-a649-18e402f62e5c)
Chapter Three (#u7422ecca-5cfa-5863-8104-eb9140160a1a)
Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#u6e94682a-dfbe-5f01-97e1-3d320b1fa724)
Kieran O’Sullivan was home.
For good.
He rubbed the back of his neck, stretched out his spine and figured he should down another cup of coffee since he had three hours to go before the end of his double shift. It had been a busier-than-usual afternoon in the ER at the Cedar River Community Hospital, but nothing like he’d been used to when he’d lived and worked in Sioux Falls. Still, he’d treated two minor burns, a dislocated shoulder, a baby with a bad case of croup and a teenager who’d fractured her arm after falling off a horse.
He was five days into his new job at the hospital.
Five days of unpacking boxes and settling into the apartment he’d rented.
Five days pretending life was sweet.
And five days that he’d managed to avoid running into Nicola Radici.
He ignored the twinge in his gut and the way the word coward mashed its way into his thoughts. Because it wasn’t as though he hadn’t seen Nicola or spoken to her in the past twelve months. He had. Several times. But this was different. He was now back in Cedar River for good. Back in the town where he’d been born and raised—a town of a few thousand that sat in the shadow of the Black Hills, South Dakota.
Yeah, back home for good with no way of avoiding her.
High school sweethearts.
The damned phrase still made him cringe.
It had been fifteen years since they’d spectacularly broken up after graduation. Since then he’d married and divorced, and he knew Nicola had a broken engagement in her past...so there was no logical reason he should have any feelings about her one way or another.
But he did.
He had guilt.
By the bucket load.
For over a decade and a half, he’d regularly returned to Cedar River to visit his family. But he’d usually managed to avoid running into her. She’d moved to San Francisco, gone to college, gotten a life that didn’t include him...just as he’d told her to do. While he’d gone to college and med school, ending up at the largest hospital in Sioux Falls. That was where he met Tori, who soon became his wife and the mother of his son. Everything had worked out as he’d imagined it would.
Until it blew up in his face.
Kieran shook the memory off, hating that after nearly two years he still had the same aching loss seeping into his bones. Nothing eased it. And he suspected nothing ever would. But he had to pretend he was over the whole awful mess. He had a job, parents, siblings, friends...too many things and people eclipsing his grief to behave as broken inside as he felt. It was better to simply make out he was okay.
And he was, most of the time. But since he’d made the decision to move back to Cedar River a few months back and secured a permanent position at the hospital, a peculiar uneasiness had simmered in his gut. And he suspected it had nothing to do with returning home for good, nothing to do with the fact that his parents were divorcing or that months earlier he’d discovered he had a secret half brother who lived in Portland, a product of his father’s thirty-year-old infidelity.
No, it wasn’t anything to do with that. It had everything to do with Nicola Radici.
Because Nicola, with her long brown hair and dark eyes, was as sensational now as she’d been in high school.
And because she still clearly hated the sight of him.
Every time they’d spoken in the past twelve months, like at his brother Liam’s wedding a few months back, she’d tilted her chin, pushed back her shoulders and offered a cursory response when he’d said hello and asked how she was. Even when he’d offered his condolences to her and her family over the loss of her brother, Gino, who’d been tragically killed in a boating accident eighteen months ago. He knew how she felt, since he’d lost his sister Liz three years earlier.
Kieran recognized the lingering resentment in her expression.
She hadn’t forgiven him for humiliating her so many years ago.
Not that he blamed her. He had broken up with her on graduation day, just outside her locker, right in front of the whole school. He hadn’t meant to do it that way, but it had happened regardless.
Kieran shook off the memory and headed for the doctor’s lounge to grab a much-needed cup of coffee. Just as he was taking a sip, one of the nurses poked her head around the door.
“Dr. O’Sullivan,” she said and waved an admission folder. “There’s a patient in triage, bed three. A young boy with a fish hook in his hand.”
Kieran spilled the rest of the coffee down the sink and rinsed out the mug. “Okay, I’ll be right there.”
The nurse hovered by the doorway and gave a kind of uneasy shrug. “Um...it’s one of the Radici boys.”
His stomach plummeted. Particularly when he saw the nurse’s expression. His old relationship with Nicola wasn’t exactly a secret, and many of the nurses, including the fiftysomething woman in front of him, had lived in Cedar River all their lives. And since his family was the wealthiest and most high profile in town, gossip came with the territory. But damn, the last thing he wanted was to see Nicola, especially when he’d just been thinking about her.
“He’s a patient, so it’s not a problem,” he said anyway, heading toward triage.
He spotted Nicola immediately, standing beside one of the beds, the privacy curtain half-pulled around. Dressed in jeans, a bright red shirt, ankle boots and with a blue sweater wrapped around her waist, she was effortlessly attractive. Her hair was loose—her wild, curly dark brown hair that hung down her back and had always driven him crazy—and he was suddenly overcome by the memory of the two of them in the back of his Wrangler, going all the way when they were sixteen and losing their virginity together.
Then, he quickly pushed the memory away and kept walking.
There was a dark-haired boy standing at her side, his arms crossed, and another, younger child sitting on the edge of the bed. Her nephews. It was common knowledge that she’d inherited custody of her brother’s two kids upon his death. Kieran took a breath, put on his best physician’s face and walked towards them.
“Nicola,” he said quietly. “Hello.”
She turned her head and met his gaze. The resentment was still there, burning bright in her lush brown eyes. He saw the pulse in her throat beating wildly as she spoke. “Dr. O’Sullivan.”
Nothing else. There was no welcome in her voice. Nothing other than cool resentment. And the way she called him doctor made that resentment abundantly clear.
He plastered a smile on his face. “It’s good to see you, Nic.”
Big mistake. She clearly didn’t want to be reminded of the way he used to call her Nic because she glared at him, pressing her lips together. Kieran watched as she swallowed hard, with her arms crossed so tightly they might snap.
One of her steeply arched eyebrows rose a fraction. “I thought Dr. Wright was on duty tonight?”
Of course. She wouldn’t have come to the ER if she suspected Kieran would be there. And she obviously knew he’d started working at the hospital. News traveled fast in Cedar River. Kieran half shrugged. “She’ll be here later,” he explained and moved around the bed. “I’m on a double shift because we’re down a doctor this week. I finish up in three hours.” He felt her scrutiny down to his bones. “So...let’s see what’s going on with your nephew’s hand,” he said, getting the conversation back on track.
“I hooked myself,” the child on the bed muttered, holding up his clumsily bandaged hand, his eyes downcast. “See?”
“He was messing around,” the older boy said and looked toward his aunt. “I told him to stop.”
“I was not!” his brother said hotly and waved his hand and then yelped in pain. “You said I couldn’t cast my line and you kept laughing.”
“You were casting like a girl,” the older Radici brother said. “And into a bucket in the backyard. That’s not even real casting. You can’t do anything.”
“I can so!”
“You’re such a baby,” the older boy said.
Kieran looked at Nicola and saw that she was frowning.
“Johnny,” she scolded. “Please don’t make things worse.”
The older boy had a scowl so deep it creased his forehead. He shrugged. “I’m gonna sit over there.”
Kieran smiled to himself. It would be exactly the same conversation he might once have had with his own brothers when they were kids. He watched as Johnny shuffled sulkily across the triage zone and plunked into a chair, then took a gaming console out of his small backpack, shoved plugs into his ears and ignored all of them.
Kieran looked at the younger child. “You know, when we were kids, my brother Liam always said I couldn’t fish as well as he could. I was younger, and my arms weren’t as long as his. But you know what? I grew up taller than him.”
The boy looked at him for the first time and his eyes widened. “You did?”
“Yep,” Kieran replied and grinned. “And now I’m a way better fisherman than he is.”
“Really?” he asked, looking pensive.
“Really,” Kieran assured him.
The boy shrugged. “It’s not really fishing. It’s just a bucket and some plastic toys.”
“Well,” Kieran said as he moved around the bed and dropped the clipboard onto it. “Maybe you’ll get so good you can do it for real sometime.”
Kieran saw a kind of wary panic cross the child’s face, and he looked quickly toward Nicola. She glanced sideways, and he saw her shake her head slightly. He sensed something was wrong but didn’t comment further. Instead, he washed his hands in the sink, pulled on a pair of gloves and then gently placed the boy’s wrapped hand on a small rolling table. “Okay, let’s see what you’ve done. First, though, you better tell me your name.”
“Marco,” he muttered, his lip wobbling.
“Okay, Marco,” Kieran said and began to unwrap the makeshift bandage. “Let’s do this.”
The boy whimpered a little, calming when Nicola moved forward and grasped his other hand. Kieran tried not to think about how it was the closest he’d been to her in fifteen years. Or about how he could pick up the scent of her vanilla shampoo over the antiseptic that usually lingered in the air. The scent was suddenly so familiar it made him glance sideways.
She wasn’t looking at him, though. Her attention was focused solely on her nephew.
He could see how she was slightly biting her bottom lip and remembered how she used to do that when she was deep in thought, like when they’d been studying together back in high school. Of course, studying usually turned into making out, which often led to more. Back then he’d been crazy for her, mad for her beautiful hair, sexy curves and warm brown eyes. A typical horny teenage boy who couldn’t get enough of his first real girlfriend. Back then, in the three years they’d dated, Kieran was sure he and Nicola would go the distance, that they’d go to college, travel the world, get married one day, have a family. But that was a kid’s dream. Because the moment Nicola had suggested they get engaged before they headed off to college, he’d freaked out. He’d felt trapped and afraid that settling down so young would derail his career. And he’d never quite forgiven himself for hurting her the way he had.
And, clearly, she hadn’t, either.
There were tears in Marco’s eyes, and Kieran focused his attention on the child. He was a quiet sort of kid, clearly in pain, but trying to be brave. “You know, if you want to say ouchywowah, you can.”
The child’s eyes widened. “Ouchy, what?”
“Ouchywowah,” Kieran said and finished unwrapping the bandage. “Saying it three times helps make the pain go away. But you have to say it quietly,” he explained, not daring to look at Nicola. “Like, in a whisper...or it doesn’t work.”
“Really?”
“Really,” Kieran assured him and smiled to himself as the boy began chanting the word over and over. Silly as it was, it seemed to help Marco concentrate on something other than his injury and, ten minutes later, Kieran had removed the fishing hook impaled between Marco’s fingers, cleaned and stitched the injury and ordered some pain medication. He left the nurse to dress the young boy’s hand, while he did something he didn’t want to do: speak to Nicola—alone.
“I’ve arranged for a scrip for some painkillers you can fill at the hospital pharmacy, and I’d like to see him again in a few days, to make sure he’s free from infection,” he explained as they walked through triage, away from the two boys and through to the waiting room outside.
Other than her nephews, the nurse on duty in triage and a couple of nurses in the reception area, the place was empty, and Kieran experienced a sudden and acute sense of discomfort. They were, in a sense, alone for the first time in fifteen years.
And he could tell by the look in her brown eyes that he was about to get the telling off he figured was a decade and a half in the making...
* * *
Don’t do it...
Nicola chanted the words to herself over and over. She didn’t want to make a scene. She didn’t want to spend any more time in Kieran O’Sullivan’s presence. But damn, it was hard. He was still too gorgeous for words...six foot two and a half, broad shoulders, brownish-blond hair that still flopped over his forehead when he tilted his head, glittering blue eyes and dark lashes. And the whiskery shadow across his jaw was too attractive for words. Not exactly a beard, but enough to give him a kind of rugged sexiness. She wished he’d grown up to be bald and pudgy. She wished he hadn’t decided to permanently return to Cedar River. She wished he hadn’t been so kind and considerate with Marco and that her nephew hadn’t actually responded to him—which was way more than he did with most people. She wished a whole lot of things. And in that moment she wished she could turn on her heels and leave the hospital as quickly as she could.
But she couldn’t.
She had Johnny and Marco to think about.
A deep surge of grief coursed through her entire body when she thought about her older brother, Gino, and sister-in-law, Miranda. She loved her nephews but worried she wasn’t measuring up in the parent department. And along with running the restaurant and her father’s swiftly declining health, she had enough on her plate without adding an old boyfriend into the mix.
But...she was mad.
Seething.
Kieran O’Sullivan had no right coming back to town! He’d set the rules on graduation day. He wanted a life and a career away from Cedar River. He didn’t want any ties. He didn’t want a girlfriend. He didn’t want to get engaged. He wanted to be able to screw around in college. He wanted his freedom.
She should have seen it coming. In the weeks before graduation, he’d been distant and closed off and had avoided her like the plague. Ever since she’d suggested they make a real commitment to one another before heading off to separate colleges. And then, on graduation day, he’d dumped her, saying he didn’t want to be tied down...by her or Cedar River.
But now he was back.
And suddenly, all her pent-up rage, despair and resentment was pointing in one direction. And even though she knew that being angry was illogical after so many years, she couldn’t help it.
“You’re a real jerk,” she said and waved her hands. “You know that? Why did you have to come back? Egoista, bastardo di cuore freddo!” she cursed in Italian, feeling her skin heat more with each passing second and fighting the urge to take a swipe at his handsome face. “Ti odio!”
I hate you...
They were strong words, and she knew he understood them. But he didn’t flinch. Didn’t speak. Didn’t do anything other than take her ranting at him as though he’d been expecting it. And that amplified her anger tenfold. She didn’t want him to be compliant and agreeable and ready for her insults. She wanted him to respond so she could go in for another round. And another. Until she was spent and done with all the pain she still harbored from her broken, seventeen-year-old-girl’s heart.
“I know,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry.”
Nicola tilted her chin. “Your apology is about fifteen years too late.”
“I know that, too.”
Nicola drew in a sharp breath. Typical of Kieran to be so damned agreeable! “I’ll take Marco to our usual doctor,” she said flatly. “That way I won’t have to see you again.”
“If that’s what you’d prefer.”
God, he was so compliant. “I think we both know what I’d prefer, Doctor.”
“That I’d stayed away?”
“Exactly.”
“It’s my hometown, Nicola...just as much as it is yours. And I’m pretty sure it’s big enough for both of us.”
Nicola glanced around, arms crossed, temper surging. “It doesn’t feel like it right now.” She sucked in a long and steadying breath. “However, I do appreciate you looking after him tonight.”
She wasn’t about to tell him that it was the first time she’d seen Marco really respond to someone new since his parents had been killed. And of course she wasn’t surprised that Kieran had a great bedside manner. He’d always been too damned charming for his own good!
“We don’t have to be friends, Nicola,” he said evenly. “But we don’t have to be enemies, either.”
“I don’t want us to be anything,” she shot back. “Except strangers.”
“You’re my sister-in-law’s friend,” he reminded her. “This is a small town, and we’re bound to run into one another occasionally. I prefer we weren’t at war when we did.”
He was right. Her longtime friend Kayla had married Kieran’s brother, and they’d just had their first child. They would definitely cross paths.
But she resented that he was so cool, so logical...so incredibly infuriating about the whole situation.
A typical O’Sullivan trait. They were the wealthiest family in town. And the most entitled. They owned commercial and investment property and several businesses, including the hugely successful O’Sullivan’s Hotel. The eldest brother, Liam, ran the hotel and most of the other holdings, while the younger brother Sean was a movie and music producer in LA. Their sister, Liz, had passed away a few years earlier from some kind of heart thing, leaving behind three young daughters. And there was another brother, too, called Jonah, who they’d just discovered existed and was the reason his parents were now in the middle of a divorce.
And then there was Kieran—the brother who’d left to pursue his dream of a medical career. And he’d got exactly what he wanted. He was smart and charming and too good-looking for words. He’d once been her closest friend, her lover, her future. Now, all she felt was hurt and rage when she thought of him. Nicola tried to wrap up her temper and put it away where it belonged. But it was so hard.
Pull yourself together. He’s not worth it.
“Can we go now?”
Johnny’s voice. Jerking her back into the land of good sense and logic.
Nicola crossed her arms and moved quickly toward him. “Of course,” she said to her nephew. She glanced briefly toward Kieran. “Thank you for your help.”
She didn’t look at him again as she walked back into triage, quickly ushering both boys back through the corridor. And did her best to ignore Kieran. But he watched her. She could feel his gaze burning through her as she left. She made a quick stop at the pharmacy to fill the painkiller prescription and then headed home, her thoughts consumed by the last person she wanted to think about.
She was embarrassed that she’d lost her temper. But, hell and damnation, he pushed her buttons! He always had. In high school she’d been desperately in love with him.
After graduation day, she’d hated him.
That rage and anger had kept her going, made her stronger, gave her the strength to leave town and pursue her dreams. She’d headed to California and attended college in San Francisco, studied hard and graduated with a degree and a burning desire to climb the corporate ladder. Six years later, she was head of human resources at an organic food company. That was where she’d met Carl. He was the managing director of the East Coast division. He was smart and good-looking and recently divorced. They’d had a whirlwind romance. Despite her friends warning her she was his rebound relationship, within a year they’d bought a house, an engagement ring and made plans for the future. But three months later he left, claiming he still had feelings for his ex-wife. The house was sold and she quickly returned the ring.
Broken and hurt, Nicola had learned a valuable lesson—she was never going to be anyone’s rebound girl again.
“Aunt Nicola,” Marco said as they drove back through town, “can we have gelato when we get home?”
She glanced at the clock on the dash. It was seven o’clock, a little late for her nephew’s favorite treat. “Tomorrow,” she promised. “I’ll get Nonno to make your favorite strawberry flavor, okay?”
Despite his declining health, her father still insisted on making the gelato that JoJo’s was famous for. The pizzeria had been in her family for over forty years, since her grandfather had started the place a decade after he’d arrived in Cedar River. Back then, he’d planned on making a fortune mining silver, but instead Guido and Josephine Radici had turned their hands to doing what they did best—cooking the most authentic Italian cuisine this side of the Black Hills. And it was a family business in the truest sense of the word. Her father, Salvatore, had learned the business from his father and continued on alone after her mother’s death a few years earlier. Her late brother Gino had learned from their dad. Although she missed her mother, Nicola was glad her mom hadn’t had to endure Gino’s passing. It was bad enough watching her father slowly deteriorate through his grief at the loss of his beloved son, along with a series of minor strokes. And since her older brother Vince had moved to San Francisco years ago, now there was just her...trying to cobble together some sense of normalcy for Gino’s two sons.
But it wasn’t easy. With Marco’s emotional withdrawal and Johnny’s penchant for getting into trouble, she had her hands full. Both boys grieved in their own way, but it was Marco who really concerned her. He suffered from night terrors and had developed a severe fear of water. Although neither of the boys were with their parents at the time of the accident, the fact they were killed while sailing had profoundly affected Marco, and now he refused to go near water except for a quick shower at bath time. He’d always loved fishing but now resorted to hooking plastic toys from a bucket in the backyard.
Once they were back home, Nicola parked the car, grabbed her tote and ushered the boys from the back seat. The house was where the boys had always lived—Gino and Miranda’s home, which they’d bought when they got married. It was a few minutes out of town, on a wide, tree-lined street, with a swing set in the backyard and a porch out front. After her brother’s death, Nicola had quickly packed up her life in San Francisco and moved in, trying to keep the boys’ normal routine as smooth as possible—soccer on Saturdays, joining a couple of other parents in a carpool for school pick-up twice a week, family night on a Friday with a movie and popcorn in the rooms behind the restaurant. She even did her best to pack the same kind of lunches that their mother had each morning.
Her friend Annie Jamison was a nanny to three children, and she’d counselled Nicola to maintain as much of their old routine as possible to encourage emotional stability in the wake of their grief and loss. So she did. Normality was the key.
Even though, some days, she felt as though every moment was an uphill battle.
And tonight, she discovered about an hour later, was becoming one of those battles.
Johnny wanted to stay up late to play a computer game, and Marco refused to go to bed and was holed up in his room, hiding in the corner of his closet, rejecting her requests to come out even when she relented and offered him the gelato he’d asked for earlier.
“Please come out,” she pleaded, standing by the closet door, knowing she could wrestle him out of the small space, but she didn’t want to upset him any more than he already was.
Yeah...an uphill battle just about covered it.
“No,” he wailed. “You don’t care what happens to me.”
Nicola hung on to patience and remained by the door. “Of course I do. Please, Marco...it’s nearly bedtime. You have to get up for school in the morning.”
“I’m not going back to that stupid school!”
She sucked in a long breath. “Marco, please—”
“Everyone’s hates me. And my hand hurts,” he wailed. “No one is nice to me. Not you. Not Johnny. No one except that doctor.”
Except that doctor.
Nicola’s breath stilled in her chest. Kieran. She tried to ignore the way her pulse started to beat wildly. “Well, he’s not here. He’s at the hospital, and you don’t need to be there now. But I’m here, and I’d really like to talk to you. So, can you come out, and we’ll have some gelato and spend some time together...okay?”
Silence. The deafening kind. She heard movement and thought she’d made progress when he spoke again. “You could call him. Doctors come to people’s houses, too.”
Nicola hung on to her patience and took a deep breath. “I can’t do that.”
She heard him huff. “You never do anything I want. Only what Johnny wants.”
The pain in his voice was unmistakable. The boys had once been close, but over the past few months she’d seen the divide between them become wider.
The guilt landed squarely on her shoulders. She was a lousy parent. And she clearly needed help.
Nicola left the room and headed downstairs. She got to the living room and discovered the overhead light bulb had blown. Great...that’s all I need. She loathed heights and had no intention of bothering her neighbor for a ladder, even though she was sure the elderly man would help if she asked. Besides, her independent streak made her resist asking anyone for assistance. But as she got to the kitchen, filled the kettle and sat down at the table, Nicola admitted that she did need help. Right now.
A minute later she was calling the hospital, feeling foolish through to her bones. He’d probably left for the night, and she hoped he had. She didn’t want to talk to him. She didn’t want to ask for his help. But within seconds she was connected to the ER, and a moment later she heard his deep voice.
“O’Sullivan,” he said as a greeting.
She clenched the phone and sucked in a sharp breath. “Kieran...”
Silence stretched like brittle elastic, and then he spoke again. “Nicola? Is that you?”
She was shocked that he’d recognized her voice. “I... I...”
“Is everything okay?”
Her belly did a foolish loop-the-loop at the concern in his voice, and then words just blurted out. “Kieran... I need you.”
Chapter Two (#u6e94682a-dfbe-5f01-97e1-3d320b1fa724)
Twenty minutes later Kieran was pulling up outside a two-story home on Grove Street.
I need you...
It had been fifteen years since he’d heard Nicola say anything so provocative.
He glanced at the address scribbled on a crumpled note on the passenger seat and saw that he had the right place. It was ironic that she lived only a couple of streets from the apartment he’d rented. The large Victorian he’d moved into five days earlier had been divided into several apartments, and his was on the second floor. His sister-in-law, Kayla, had been the previous tenant so it had been an easy sublet, taking over the payments and dealing with the landlord. And he liked the place well enough. There was one bedroom, a combined kitchen and dining room, and a spacious living room—plenty of room for the few boxes and sparse assortment of furniture he’d brought with him from Sioux Falls.
He got out, locked the Jeep and headed for the house. The porch light flicked on the moment he closed the white picket gate, and within seconds the front door opened. Once he was up the three steps and on the porch, Nicola was there, holding the screen door open and inviting him inside.
“Thank you for coming,” she said quickly as he crossed the threshold and she closed the door. “I know it’s late and you’ve been working and I shouldn’t have called but he was asking for you and I didn’t—”
“Nicola,” he said, cutting her off as he followed her down the hall. “Slow down, you’re rambling.”
She stopped and turned to face him. God, she was beautiful. His blood suddenly rumbled in his veins, and an old attraction spectacularly resurfaced, knocking him out. And in that moment he realized nothing had changed. He was still as attracted to Nicola as he’d always been.
But he would never let her know it. There was no point. They were ancient history, and he was in no condition to get involved with anyone. Particularly a woman who clearly hated the sight of him.
“Rambling?” she echoed, glaring at him.
He nodded, biting back a grin. “Yeah...rambling. Take a breath and calm down.”
“I am calm,” she shot back. “I’ve just had a crappy day. We’ll have to go to the kitchen as the light bulb in the living room has blown.”
He glanced into the darkened room as they passed. “Want me to fix it?”
“No,” she said and kept walking.
“So, what seems to be the problem?”
“I can’t get Marco out of the closet,” she said and then quickly explained how the boy liked to hide there. “And when he asked to see you, I just... I couldn’t think of anything else to do except call. He doesn’t generally take to strangers...which is good, I suppose. But he seemed to connect with you at the hospital, and all I could do was what he asked. Right now, I simply want him to come out of the closet and get some sleep. Plus, he said his hand hurts.”
“He’s got a few stitches, so that’s not unusual,” Kieran said, realizing she was clearly frazzled and holding on by a thread. “I’ll talk to him in a minute, but perhaps you should fill me in on what’s been going on with him lately.”
She nodded. “Sure.”
Kieran followed her up the hall. “Where’s your other nephew?”
“Bed. Johnny fights to stay up and play video games and then ends up flaked out on the floor in his room,” she said as they entered the kitchen. “He’s willful and defiant and doesn’t do anything I say. Unlike Marco, who is usually a people pleaser and hates getting into trouble. But tonight... I think he’s simply overwhelmed by his injury and after what happened at school...” She sighed and her voice trailed off. “It’s been one of those days.”
“What happened at school?” he asked, standing on the other side of the island. watching as she began pouring coffee into two mugs.
“He got bullied today,” she explained quietly. “And then he got upset, and some of his classmates saw, and then he withdrew like he sometimes does and wouldn’t talk to his teacher. It’s happened before. I left the restaurant, picked him up early and brought him home. But he still wouldn’t talk to me. I didn’t even know he’d hurt himself on the fishing hook until I called him in for dinner. He’d wrapped a T-shirt around his hand so I wouldn’t know.”
Kieran considered her words. “Have you thought about getting him to talk with a professional?” he asked quietly. “He’s obviously having trouble coping with the death of his parents, and naturally so, but I could make a few inquiries and find someone who works specifically with children if you would like a referral.”
She nodded fractionally. “It may come to that. But for now, I’d just like to get him out of the closet.”
“Sure,” he said and noticed that her hands were shaking a little. “Does he have nightmares?”
“Yes,” she replied and pushed the mug across the counter. “I have cream and sugar.”
“This is fine,” he said and took the mug. One brow rose. “Your tastes have changed.”
He met her gaze. “Some,” he said and tried to ignore the way his heart beat faster than usual. “So, about his nightmares...does he talk to you about them?”
“Sometimes. He has a fear of water,” she said and sipped her coffee. “That’s why he fishes out of a bucket.”
Kieran recalled that her brother and sister-in-law lost their lives in a boating accident and how Marco had responded at the hospital when he’d mentioned he might want to try fishing for real. “Because of his parents’ accident?”
“Yes,” she replied softly. “The boys weren’t with them that day. It was just pure luck, really. They’d both had head colds and my sister-in-law Miranda didn’t want to risk them getting worse,” she explained.
“Gino and Miranda were good people,” Kieran said. “I used to stop by JoJo’s sometimes, when I’d come home to visit my folks. As I recall, they were dedicated sailors.”
She nodded. “They competed in all the major events. They were in San Francisco for the regatta, which they did every year. I loved it because it meant Vince and I could see them, and we could catch up as a family.”
Kieran knew Vince had moved to San Francisco straight out of high school. It was one of the reasons Nicola had chosen to go to college there, to be close to her older brother.
“Vince has a big apartment in the city,” she explained quietly. “And they always stayed with him when they were there. I was at my brother’s apartment watching the kids because Gino and Miranda had gone for a sail outside the bay before the races started the next day. They say the storm came out of nowhere.” She sighed and shrugged. “I don’t know... Gino was always so careful about the dangers of doing what he loved. But on that day, he miscalculated. It was days before their bodies were found...but by then we knew something terrible had happened. Vince identified them, and then we had to tell the boys. It was the hardest thing I have ever done.”
Kieran watched as her eyes glittered with tears and she blinked a couple of times. There was something incredibly vulnerable about her in that moment, and he fought the sudden urge to reach across and touch her. Comforting Nicola was out of the question. He had to remember that. She wasn’t a patient or a friend. She was the girl he’d loved in high school. She was his past. End of story.
“You know,” he said and met her gaze, “I’ve seen fear manifest from loss before...it’s not uncommon, particularly in a child. In time, and with patience and maybe therapy, he’ll probably overcome his fears.”
“I hope so,” she said quietly. “Until then, I have to work out how to make him feel safe. Unfortunately, I feel as though I’m failing at every turn.”
It was quite an admission, and one he was sure she hadn’t intended divulging. Hours ago, she’d made her feelings toward him abundantly clear—she still hated him. And yet now he was standing in her kitchen, listening to her earnest words, drinking coffee and acting as though it was all absurdly normal.
“I’m sure you’re not,” he assured her. “Parenting is a challenge even in the best of circumstances.”
“You’d know more about that than me.”
A familiar ache hit him directly in the center of his chest, and he quickly averted his gaze. He didn’t want to see her eyes, didn’t want to speculate as to how much she knew about him and his life before he’d returned to Cedar River. But people talked. He knew that. But with everything else that was going on with his family—with his parents’ impending divorce, the discovery of his half brother, and then his other brother Liam secretly marrying the daughter of their father’s sworn enemy, he hoped that his own smashed-up personal life might not rate a mention on the radar. But when he did finally glance at her again, he figured that she knew enough. Maybe not everything, particularly how broken up inside he felt most of the time, but she certainly had some idea of what he’d been through.
“Later,” he said and shrugged. “You can ask me later.”
She shrugged loosely. “I shouldn’t have said that. Your private life is none of my business.”
He nodded. “Anyway, for now, we should probably go and talk with Marco.”
She placed her mug on the counter. “He’s upstairs.”
He followed her from the kitchen and up the stairway, trying not to notice how her hips swayed as she walked. Or the way her perfume assailed his senses. Other than in a professional capacity, it had been a long time since he’d been so close to a woman. He hadn’t been intimate with anyone since he’d separated from Tori. Casual sex had never been his thing, and he wasn’t interested in a committed relationship, so the best thing was to avoid women altogether until he worked through his demons. But he hadn’t figured on his old attraction for Nicola making a comeback.
Get a grip, O’Sullivan...
Ten minutes later, he still hadn’t managed to coax Marco from his hiding spot in the closet, but the child was at least answering him. To his credit, he’d made the tiny space into a fort, complete with walls and windows, out of several old cardboard boxes and several towels pegged together. Looking at how he’d used his imagination allayed some of his concerns for the boy’s emotional well-being. This was clearly Marco’s safe place, his go-to spot when he felt cornered or unhappy or despairing. Kieran wasn’t an expert in child psychology, but he was relieved to discover that Marco wasn’t simply hiding in a confined space staring at the wall.
“You’ve built a really cool fort,” Kieran said quietly.
Marco was silent, then grunted. “Johnny says it’s lame.”
“Well, I’m something of an expert at fort building,” he said, flicking his gaze toward Nicola, who stood in the doorway. He caught a tiny smile at the edges of her mouth and ignored the way it made his gut churn. “When my brothers and I were young, we turned our treehouse into a fort. It had a moat, too.”
He heard a shuffling sound, like sneakers shifting across carpet, and then spotted Marco peering around the door frame.
“A moat?” the boy asked. “Really?”
“Yeah,” Kieran replied. “It had water in it, too. I fell into it once and dislocated my collarbone.”
Marco’s eyes widened, and he stepped out of the closet. “That must have hurt a lot.”
“It did,” he said and nodded. “So, your aunt said your hand was hurting.”
“Yeah,” the boy said, his voice cracking.
“On a scale of one to ten, how much does it hurt?” Kieran asked.
“Ten,” Marco replied quickly.
Kieran glanced at Nicola, saw the concern on her face and offered a reassuring nod. “Ten,” he mused. “Really? That’s a lot. Are you sure?”
Marco’s bottom lip wobbled. “Well...maybe a five.”
“Five... I see. Then, that’s not so bad, right? Remember the word I said you need to say over and over?”
The boy nodded. “I remember.”
“Good,” Kieran said and smiled. “Keep saying it, over and over, every time your hand hurts. Now, your aunt also says it’s way past your bedtime, so how about you get settled into bed.”
“Do I have to have more stitches?”
“No, not a single one.”
Marco looked pensive. “More medicine?”
Kieran checked his watch. “Not yet. Maybe tomorrow.”
“Do I have to go to school tomorrow?”
Kieran looked at Nicola and she nodded. “How about you see how you feel in the morning and then talk to your aunt about it, okay?”
The boy looked thoughtful for a moment and then nodded. “Okay.”
“And keep saying the special word,” Kieran said and smiled. “I promise your hand won’t hurt as much.”
Marco grinned a little. “Okay. Thanks, Doctor.”
“And you can call me Kieran, okay? Because your aunt is a friend of mine.”
“Sure thing.”
Kieran turned toward Nicola. “I’ll leave you to get him settled.”
She stepped into the room and nodded. “Thank you for this... I don’t know what I would have done otherwise...” Her words trailed off for a moment. “If you give me ten minutes, we can finish that coffee.”
“Sure,” he said before giving Marco the thumbs-up sign. With the promise that he’d see him soon, he headed back downstairs.
He lingered in the kitchen, ditched his jacket and hung it over the back of one of the chairs and sat at the table, looking around. Like the rest of the house, it was a modern, spacious room, with granite countertops and top-of-the-line appliances. He’d noticed an array of family pictures on the wall in the hallway when he’d arrived and quickly deduced that this was once Gino Radici’s home. He’d always liked Gino. They’d played football together in high school and, as Nicola’s boyfriend, they all used to hang out at JoJo’s pizza parlor most afternoons. Life had been easy back when he was in high school...his parents were happy, his family was a tight unit, Liz was still alive and he’d had Nicola.
Until he blew her off.
At the time, he’d believed he was doing the right thing. Maintaining a long-distance relationship from separate colleges was never going to work. She had her ambitions, and so did he. Then, the week before graduation, when she’d brought up the idea of getting engaged he’d freaked out, suspicious that she might do something they’d regret—like deliberately get pregnant. And Kieran had no intention of being a father at eighteen. So days later, he’d ended it. Badly. He’d said he wanted to see other people. Other girls. He told her to get a life that didn’t include him. Remembering how stupidly he’d behaved only amplified his guilt by a million. She’d deserved better.
When she returned to the kitchen ten minutes later, she looked tired but relieved. “He’s settled...finally. And I managed to get Johnny back into bed and the video game out of his hands. Thank you,” she added and sighed as she moved around the countertop. “I owe you a fresh cup of coffee.”
“You don’t owe me anything.”
It was a pointed remark...one they both knew had little to do with the situation at hand. Their history circled in the air between them. Air that needed to be cleared once and for all.
“Kieran, I—”
“I never meant to hurt you, you know,” he said quietly. “I mean, I know I did...but I was too young and too self-absorbed to fully realize what I was doing. When I did have the maturity to work out that I’d been a complete jerk, we were long gone from one another’s life. But I am genuinely sorry for hurting you, Nicola.”
She was still as a statue. She didn’t look impressed or accepting of his apology. “Sure...whatever.”
“I can leave if you—”
“I promised you more coffee,” she said and turned toward the pantry. “I’ll make a fresh pot. Are you hungry?”
His stomach growled and he remembered he hadn’t eaten since lunch. “Yeah.”
A tiny smiled lifted her mouth at the edges for a moment. “Cannoli?”
He grinned. “I still have a sweet tooth.”
“I figured,” she said and moved around the kitchen, making coffee and preparing the dessert on a plate.
Kieran remained where he was, watching her at her task. “How are you enjoying working at the restaurant again?”
She shrugged lightly. “It’s okay. Managing the place isn’t exactly my dream job...but my father needs the help, and it’s kind of ingrained in my DNA to work there. I’ve been waiting tables at JoJo’s since I was ten years old. Thankfully the place is still busy and turning a profit. I have a tourist party booked for tomorrow...twenty-four hungry mouths to feed. Friday fun, I like to call it.”
“Sounds like a lot of work.”
She shrugged. “Necessary. My dad has slowed down a lot in the past year.”
“He had a stroke, didn’t he?”
“Yes,” she replied. “A few months after Gino died.”
He knew she’d loved her brother. He also knew what it was like to lose a sibling. And he felt her hurt right down to his bones. But he didn’t press the subject. “So, did you have your dream job in San Francisco?”
“I thought so at the time,” she said. “I worked for an organic food company and managed the human resources department.”
“Is that where you met your fiancé?”
Her expression narrowed, and she glanced at him. “You know about that?”
“Liam told me,” he replied. “I figured Kayla told him. Why did you break up?”
She came around the counter with the coffees and the plate of cannoli, placed them on the table and sat down. “He broke it off when he realized he was still in love with his ex-wife.”
He grimaced. “Ouch.”
“Yes,” she said and pushed the plate toward him. “It sucked. Although, probably not as much as what happened to you.”
Kieran grabbed the cannoli, took a bite and then remembered how much he’d always liked Nicola’s cooking. Even in high school, she’d had a flair in the kitchen. “I guess you want to know the whole story?”
She shrugged and sipped her coffee. “Like I said before, it’s none of my business.”
He finished the cannoli in three bites. “Okay, I won’t tell you.”
“Suit yourself.”
He lifted up the mug, took a sip and then watched her over the rim. Her eyes had darkened, and he knew the defiant lift of her chin was a facade. She had matured into an incredibly beautiful woman, and suddenly he wasn’t in any kind of hurry to finish his coffee and leave. Her eyes, the delicately arched brows, her full, pink mouth, all a riveting combination of color and lovely angles. His gaze lingered on her mouth, and he experienced a sudden tightening in his groin. He knew it was stupid, knew that thinking about Nicola as anything other than an old flame was pointless. She hadn’t forgiven him. And he didn’t want to get involved with anyone. But still, he wasn’t quite ready to get up and end the evening.
And for the first time in forever, he actually wanted to talk.
“She left me for my best friend,” he said quietly.
Her gaze met his, and she held it and tilted her head a fraction. For a second, he saw compassion in her expression, a fleeting understanding that she clearly didn’t want to feel because she obviously still hated him.
“I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. “Thanks.”
“And the other thing?”
Discomfort pierced his chest. It was always that way. Nearly two years on, and he still felt the pain of loss and betrayal as though it were yesterday. One day, he hoped the pain would lessen, that he wouldn’t wake up each morning with a hole in his heart so wide he couldn’t imagine it being filled with anything or anyone. He grappled with how much to tell her and then figured there was little point in being coy or secretive about the situation. “You mean my son?”
“Yes.”
He let out a long breath. “Christian. Who, it turns out, wasn’t my son but was actually fathered by my best friend.”
The sympathy in her expression returned. “How awful! You really don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
“You can hear it from me,” he said and shrugged. “Or via one of the local gossip channels.”
“Okay,” she said, quieter than he expected. “You can tell me about him.”
Kieran’s chest tightened further, and the band of pressure at his temple returned. Fatigue spread through his limbs, and he sat back in the chair. “I believed he was my son for eighteen months before my now-ex-wife admitted the truth.”
Memories of that awful day bombarded his thoughts. Catching Tori and Phil together And then finding out the son he treasured was not really his child. He remembered Tori crying. Tori pleading. Tori telling him she should never have married him, that she loved someone else. Tori saying she wanted to be free of him and their marriage so she could raise Christian with the man she loved...the man who was his son’s real father.
“You never suspected anything?”
He shook his head. “Phil was my colleague and best friend. Tori was my wife. I guess I trusted the wrong people.”
“I’m so sorry,” she said.
“Yeah,” he said, aching all over. “Me, too.”
* * *
Nicola’s heart felt heavy in her chest. She didn’t like the feeling. Didn’t want to imagine that she had any feelings toward Kieran other than dislike and resentment. But...his story saddened her deeply. She’d heard it anecdotally...from Kayla and her friend Connie who worked at his family’s hotel and knew everything about the O’Sullivans. So yes, she knew about his marriage ending and discovering his son was fathered by someone else. And of course she thought it was cruel and despicable. But she always managed to shrug her shoulders and wave off any feelings of sympathy or compassion for the man who had callously dumped her in front of the entire twelfth grade on the biggest day of their high school lives.
But hearing it from Kieran was different. And as much as she wanted to hang on to her resentment and rage at him in that moment, she couldn’t. Particularly as he’d gone out his way to help her with Marco. Thanks to his kindness and understanding, her nephew was now safely asleep in his bed.
“So...you divorced her?”
He shrugged lightly. “We divorced each other.”
“And Christian?” she asked, saying the child’s name almost as a whisper.
She watched as Kieran took a sharp breath and then sipped his coffee. “I didn’t want to confuse him, you know, or make things difficult...so I had to step away.”
She saw his eyes darken and experienced an odd discomfort in her chest. “That must have been hard.”
“The most difficult thing I have ever done in my life.”
“So, you don’t have any contact now?”
“No,” he replied. “I made a decision that was best for him. He needed to bond with his...with his father,” he said, swallowing hard. “And Tori didn’t want me interfering in her new life.”
Nicola tried desperately to ignore how her heart rate increased. She didn’t want to feel sympathy for him. She didn’t want to feel anything when it came to Kieran O’Sullivan. And she didn’t want to listen to his apologies, either. But she couldn’t help being drawn into their conversation. She’d always been a good listener—her career in human resources had demanded it.
“So this way, only one person got hurt...is that what you’re saying?”
He shrugged lightly again and picked up another cannoli. “Exactly. Everyone needed a do-over. Me included.”
“And that’s why you came back to Cedar River?”
“Sure,” he said and took a bite. “It was time I came home anyway...with everything that was imploding here.”
Nicola sipped her coffee and then looked at him over the rim of her mug. It was true, he certainly had a lot going on with his family. “Do you get along with your new brother?”
His mouth curled up at the edges. “You know me, Nic... I get along with everyone.”
He was right. Kieran had a reputation for being easygoing and likable. Perfect attributes for a physician. But she wasn’t fooled. “Cut the crap.”
He chuckled. “Have you met Jonah?”
“A couple of times, like at Liam and Kayla’s wedding. He seems very...intense.”
Kieran laughed. “That’s a good way to describe him. He is intense. And moody. And kind of unpleasant most of the time. But to be fair, he’s mellowed a little over the past few months. Not that I can blame him for putting up a few walls, considering he’s known about us all his life, but we didn’t know about him. He still lives in Portland but visits his mother, Kathleen, regularly.”
“She moved back to Cedar River,” Nicola remarked and then laughed humorlessly. “We’re heading back in droves.”
“She wanted to spend more time with her mother and brother—you know, Kayla’s grandmother and father.” He shrugged. “It’s become something of a confusing family tree.”
She nodded a little. “And your parents are really getting a divorce?”
“So they say,” he replied and sipped his coffee. “Mom can’t forgive him for the infidelity, even though Dad ended his affair with Kathleen before Jonah was born.”
“She’s a lot younger than him, isn’t she?”
“Yeah,” he said and sighed heavily. “She was eighteen and in love with an older man. To be honest, I don’t think my parents’ marriage was ever a love match. And Dad still appears to care for Kathleen.” He shrugged. “Who knows? I’m not exactly an expert on the subject of what constitutes a successful relationship.”
Nicola saw weariness in his expression, and her insides took a foolish plunge. “Me neither,” she admitted and managed a small smile, annoyed at herself for being so easily swayed by him, but suddenly unable to fight the feeling. “You might get married again.”
“Maybe,” he said quickly and drained his mug. “But I have zero interest on that score for the foreseeable future.”
“Not all marriages end badly,” she said and shrugged. “My parents had a happy marriage. As did Gino and his wife. And your brother and Kayla seem really happy together.”
“I didn’t say it wasn’t possible,” he remarked. “Just that I wasn’t interested in the idea.”
“So, you’ve become a cynic?”
“Exactly. Haven’t you?”
Nicola shrugged again. “I’m hopeful. But next time I intend not falling for a man who’s still in love with someone else.”
“So, you want assurances?” he laughed humorlessly. “Good luck with that.”
She felt her tension return. “Believing in people doesn’t make me naive, Kieran. I can be as cynical as the next person. Let’s face it, I’ve been dumped more than once and have had plenty of experience at being humiliated.”
He rested his elbows on the table and stared at her. “So, I guess about now is where you swear at me in Italian?”
She got to her feet and pushed the chair back. “No, it’s where I say good night.”
He stood immediately and, without another word, he grabbed his jacket and made his way to the door. Nicola hurried after him and almost plowed into his back when he came to a halt outside the living room.
“Do you have a spare bulb?” he inquired and gestured into the room.
“There’s no need to—”
“Just find the bulb, Nic,” he said and walked into the room. “And stop being a pain in the ass.”
Nicola remained in the doorway and watched as he walked across the room and flicked on a small lamp by the fireplace. “I don’t have a ladder.”
“No need for one,” he said and pointed to the wooden chair by the window. “I’ll use that.”
Of course, he was nearly a foot taller than she was and would reach the ceiling easily enough. She just had to get the spare bulb from the laundry room. “Be back in a minute.”
Except that her minute turned into about ten. There were no new bulbs in the laundry room, and she had to venture to the workshop out back and rummage through a few boxes of Gino’s tools and equipment to find what she needed. She headed back inside, locking the back door and swiftly making her way through the kitchen and down the hallway. When she got to the living room, she stopped dead in her tracks.
Kieran was lying on the sofa, legs stretched out, one arm over his forehead, clearly comfortable, and obviously fast asleep.
She pulled up alongside the sofa and looked down at him. His hair was a little long, like he’d forgotten to get it cut. And the whisker growth was too sexy for words. His feet were crossed at the ankles, and his other hand lay across his chest. She looked at his left hand, to where his wedding band would have been, and she couldn’t help wondering how long it had been since he’d taken it off. The skin was paler. So, not long, by the look of things. He must still love his ex-wife, despite what she had done to him. Love often had a way of hanging around...she’d discovered that herself in the years it took her to erase Kieran’s memory from her heart.
Nicola went to tap his shoulder but then snatched her hand back. She remembered how he’d said he’d pulled a double shift at the hospital...and then he’d driven straight over to help her out with Marco. A double shift, combined with his recent move from Sioux Falls, meant he was obviously exhausted. Guilt pressed inside her chest and, instead of waking him up, she grabbed a soft chenille blanket from the love seat by the window and gently draped it over him. He didn’t stir, didn’t move, didn’t do anything other than take a deep breath and then sigh.
As she left the room and headed upstairs, Nicola mused that, if someone had told her earlier that day that Kieran O’Sullivan would be sleeping in her house, she would have told them they were out of their mind and to go straight to hell. And she didn’t want to think about how she was trying to cling onto anger and resentment because hating him made things easier. Hating him made her forget how much she had once loved him.
And hating him made her immune to falling in love with him ever again.
Chapter Three (#u6e94682a-dfbe-5f01-97e1-3d320b1fa724)
Kieran awoke with a crick in his neck, an aching back and two sets of curious eyes staring at him.
Marco and Johnny were both sitting on the opposite sofa clearly waiting for him to wake up. He grimaced when he spotted a ridiculously pink blanket draped over his legs and quickly swung his feet to the floor. He ran a weary hand through his hair and glanced at the clock on the wall. Seven fifty. He’d been asleep for over nine hours. And on Nicola’s couch, no less!
“Did you sleep over?” Marco asked, eyes wide.
“Looks like it,” he replied and stretched out his back.
“To make sure I was okay?”
“Of course,” he fibbed and rubbed a hand over his face. “How are you feeling, champ?”
Marco nodded. “Okay, I guess. Aunt Nicola said I don’t have to go to school today. She said I could go to JoJo’s with her. But Johnny has to go to school.”
The older boy scowled. “At least I’ve got friends at school.”
“Didn’t I specifically tell you boys not to disturb Kieran this morning?”
They all looked toward the door. Nicola stood at the threshold, dressed in a knee-length black skirt, tucked-in white blouse and black heels. Her hair was pulled back, and she wore gold loop earrings. She held a mug in one hand, and the other hand was perched on her hip. She looked smoking hot and, as awareness curdled in his blood, Kieran tried not to stare at her—but failed.
“Breakfast is on the table,” she said to the boys. “Scoot. And make sure you put the dishes in the sink when you are done.”
The kids took off as though their heels were on fire, and Nicola ruffled their hair as they passed. Then, she walked into the living room and passed Kieran the mug she carried.
“Thanks,” he said and inhaled the heady coffee aroma and tried not to stare at her legs. “And sorry I crashed.”
She shrugged one shoulder. “Sorry I made you come here last night after pulling a double shift. I think I was a little crazy with worry and didn’t think about anything else.”
“Once I sat down on this cushy couch last night the fatigue hit me.” He drank some coffee and grinned slightly. “Well, at least you have a comfy couch. Better than the ones that are usually in the doctors’ lounges at hospitals.”
Her lips curved. “Would you like breakfast? I have oatmeal on the stove.”
Kieran grimaced. “No thanks.”
She laughed softly. “Toast, then?”
Kieran got to his feet and straightened his jacket, figuring he must look a mess in his crumpled clothes and with five-day whisker growth. “I’m good. I need to head home to shower and change. And the patient seems chipper this morning,” he said, drinking the rest of the coffee and then placing the mug on one of the lamp tables. “He said you’re letting him stay home today, which is probably a good idea.”
She nodded. “He can hang out at the restaurant with me.”
“Didn’t you say you have a large tourist group coming in today that you have to cater for? Won’t he be in the way?”
Her jaw tightened. “It’s too late to call a sitter. There’s a lady down the street who regularly watches the boys for me, but she’s not available today.”
Kieran nodded, thinking it wasn’t any of his business, pulled his keys from his pocket and looked at her. “Okay...well, thanks for the couch and the coffee.”
“Thank you for coming over last night and helping me with Marco.”
He walked past her, picking up the fragrance of her perfume, and the scent quickly hitched up his awareness a notch or two. He stopped when he reached the door and turned back to face her. Her eyes looked huge in her face, and he was overwhelmed with the sudden need to stare at her some more. She was biting her bottom lip, which she also did when she was nervous, and he wondered if she’d picked up on the weird energy that was now in the room. She was close, barely a foot away from him. Desire snaked up his spine and simmered in his blood, and he swallowed hard, thinking that he hadn’t felt anything so intense for a long time.
He cleared his throat and spoke. “You know, Marco could hang out with me today. I have the next couple of days off, and I was planning on heading to the hotel this morning...my mom will be there with Liz’s youngest daughter,” he said, then explained how his mother looked after Tina for several hours once a week as a way to spend time with her granddaughter. “My mom loves kids. And I could drop him back at JoJo’s this afternoon, once you’ve finished with the tourists.”
She frowned. “I couldn’t possibly impose on you.”
“You wouldn’t be,” he assured her. “Marco is a great kid. Give me half an hour to get home and change, and then I’ll come back.”
He had no idea why, but he wanted to help her out. But she didn’t look convinced. She looked like it was the last thing she wanted or needed. “I can look after my nephews by myself.”
“I wasn’t implying that you—”
“He’ll come to work with me. Goodbye, Kieran. Thanks again.”
He was being dismissed. So he left and headed home. He checked his cell on the way out, finding a message from his brother, reminding him that he’d promised to stop by the hotel on his way home from work the night before—a fact Kieran had quickly forgotten once he’d received Nicola’s call for help. When he got back to his apartment, he showered, changed into jeans, a polo shirt and jacket and then drove into town. Ten minutes later, he was swinging into one the reserved spaces in the hotel parking lot.
O’Sullivan’s Hotel was the best in the county. Thirty rooms, two restaurants, conference rooms and a ballroom for large functions, it had a reputation for its style, ambience and service. And his brother ran the place better than their father ever had. Liam was a hard-nosed and judgmental ass, but Kieran loved his brother dearly. As he did Sean. He was even mellowing toward Jonah the more time he spent with the man. It was hard at first, knowing his father had cheated on his mom and had a secret family in another state for nearly thirty years. But it couldn’t be easy for his newfound sibling either, and he didn’t plan on making things more difficult by refusing to acknowledge that he did actually have another brother.
The foyer was already busy with guests and several staff milling around the reception area assisting them, their green corporate jackets giving them a professional and upscale look. He spotted his brother by the concierge desk and headed for him. Liam looked up and waved.
“Where were you last night?” Liam asked, one eyebrow cocked. “I thought you were coming here on your way home from work. We need to talk about Mom’s birthday thing.”
He shrugged. “I was tied up with a favor for a friend.”
Liam’s eyebrows further cocked with humor. “Making friends already? Good for you.”
His brother knew he wasn’t in any kind of emotional shape to get involved with anyone...but he wasn’t averse to making fun if he had the chance. Kieran shrugged indifferently, ignoring his brother’s tone. “No comment.”
Liam grinned. “It’s a small town. You know I’ll find out.”
Kieran managed a wry smile. “Yes, Godfather,” he said and shook his head. “But if you must know, I stopped by Nicola’s after work,” he said and then quickly explained about Marco’s injury and how he had attended to him at the hospital but then glossed over Nicola’s frantic phone call and didn’t mention how he’d ended up sleeping on her couch.
“So,” Liam mused, “you and Nicola, eh?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I need breakfast, are you coming?”
“Sure,” Liam said and hooked a thumb in the direction of the restaurant. “Mom’s already here, by the way. With Tina and Kayla and the baby.”
Liam and Kayla’s son, Jack, was three weeks old and the light of their lives. “Okay.”
“Don’t let Mom know you were hanging out with Nicola Radici. If you do, you know you’ll get the third degree. And then Mom will start sending out wedding invitations.”
Kieran spluttered. “Can’t I help out an old...a former...someone I used to...”
“Keep digging,” Liam mocked. “If the hole gets any bigger, you’ll end up in Montana.”
“Sometimes I wish I was an only child.”
“Where’s the fun in that?” Liam teased. “And I think it’s great. It’s time you came back into the land of the living. I’m tired of watching you pretend to be happy. Your fake smile makes my jaw ache.”
“You know what else would make your jaw ache? My fist.”
Liam laughed. “Actually, come to think of it, this is all great timing. You should join the Big Brothers program at the hospital. I’ve been the patron of the program for a couple of years, but I think I need to pass the baton to you. I was only talking to Nicola about it a couple of weeks back. She’s been having a few problems with the younger boy... I suggested Big Brothers might be exactly what both of those kids need. And since you work at the hospital...”
Kieran’s gut churned. The last thing he wanted to do was be responsible for troubled kids looking for a brother or father figure. Particularly kids linked to Nicola. Liam should have known better than to suggest such an idea to him. He wasn’t anyone’s father. Not now. Probably not ever again.
“I need food and coffee,” he said.
Liam laughed. “Okay, let’s go.”
When they entered the restaurant, Kieran saw his mother and sister-in-law immediately. Kayla was stunningly beautiful, but she was also kind and clearly loved his brother dearly. And Kieran had never seen Liam happier.
His mother, Gwen, was clearly delighted to see him, and her happy expression made him smile. She liked having her chicks close by and was thrilled that Kieran had returned. He knew she worried about his brother Sean’s rumored wild lifestyle in LA and would be over the moon if her youngest child decided to give up his success, money and women and return home, where she believed he belonged. But Kieran wasn’t so sure of that. Sean had never been small-town. He’d always craved the action of a bigger city and had certainly carved out a successful life for himself as a music and movie producer. Kieran was different. And, for him, returning to Cedar River had been an easy decision. Staying in Sioux Falls, where everything reminded him of all he had lost, was never going to be an option.
Gwen O’Sullivan was tall and statuesque, with a silvery bob and a creaseless face that defied her sixty years. She’d been a model long ago and still carried herself as though she could grace the catwalk.
“You were missed last night,” his mother said when he reached their table. “We decided you are going to be in charge of sending out the invitations.”
His mother’s sixtieth birthday party was going to be a big bash, with out-of-state relatives already committed to the event. “We?” he echoed and smiled. “How come you’re on the organizing committee for your own party?”
“Well, if I leave it to you and Liam, I suspect nothing will get done,” she said and raised both her brows. “Thankfully, I have Kayla and Connie to help.”
Liam’s wife and Liam’s personal assistant. Kieran suddenly felt like apologizing for the fact that he was divorced and single and had inadvertently robbed his parent of her daughter-in-law and the grandchild she’d loved. Logically, he knew that there was no malice in his mother’s words. Gwen knew what he’d been through, knew how broken he was at losing his son and his marriage. But he still experienced an acute sense of failure. From his broken relationship with Nicola to his busted marriage, he clearly sucked at commitment. He glanced toward Kayla, and his sister-in-law gave him a quick, reassuring wink, as though she knew exactly what was going on in his head.
Nothing is going on...
Watching his family, Kieran couldn’t help but reflect on all he had lost. He’d loved being a father and missed Christian so much he ached inside. And he missed being a husband. And then, as always, the ache was replaced by a feeling of betrayal and rage so intense he had to take a couple of long breaths to stop the sensation taking hold.
“Everything all right?”
Liam’s voice. His brother knew him better than anyone. “Yeah, fine.”
“You look tired.”
“I did a double shift at the hospital,” he said casually.
“And then had a date with Nicola Radici.”
And just like that, his hold of the situation spectacularly fell apart because two feminine sets of startled eyes immediately zoomed in on him. Kayla’s eyes were as wide as saucers. His mother looked at him with a kind of delighted shock. He had to backpedal—and fast.
“It wasn’t a date.”
Thankfully, a couple of orders of pancakes arrived just then, but Kieran knew he wasn’t about to be let off the hook so easily.
“I’ve always liked Nicola,” Gwen said quietly. “She’s a sweet girl. She’s helped out on the hospital committee a few times, you know. She’s so good at organizing things. I might stop by the restaurant today and see if she’d like to help me with the latest fundraiser. And the way she’s taken to caring for her nephews when her brother was killed...really, such a sweet girl.”
“You said that already,” he muttered, feigning interest in the food his mother placed in front of him.
Liam chuckled, and Kieran scowled in his direction. Just because his brother had found his happily-ever-after with Kayla, it didn’t mean that everyone else would. Kieran had believed he’d had it once...until it blew up in his face. He wasn’t about to go down that road again in a hurry.
He picked up his fork. “Stop reading anything into it. She hates me, remember?”
“That’s true,” Kayla said and smiled. “She does.”
Liam chuckled. “It’s a double-edged sword, though, don’t you think?”
Kieran stared at his pancakes, feeling heat rise up his chest and throat and then hit him squarely in the face. He didn’t want anyone speculating about him and Nicola. Because there was no him and Nicola. Not now. Not ever again. And, when he glanced at his mother, he saw that she was still smiling, still watching him with a curious regard that spoke volumes. He knew that look. It was a matchmaking face.
I’m so screwed.
* * *
Tour groups were usually Nicola’s favorite. They were generally cheerful, always finished their meals and tipped big. But today she was too tired to handle the exuberant crowd. Her limbs felt heavy with a kind of odd lethargy that had everything to do with the fact she’d barely managed to get any sleep the night before. Really, how was she supposed to sleep when Kieran was spread out on her couch directly below her bed? If she’d had any sense, she would have woken him up and sent him packing. But the kindness he’d shown toward Marco was impossible to discount. And she wasn’t a mean-spirited person—even toward the man she hated most in the world.
Okay...so maybe that was a stretch.
It wasn’t exactly hate. It was...it was anger and resentment and a whole lot of bone-deep, heart-wrenching hurt. The way he’d ended their relationship still stung. The pity she’d endured from her friends and the humiliation she’d experienced had been almost impossible to bear. In the end, escaping to college in California had been a lifeline. And, for a while, falling in love with Carl had been a lifeline, too. After Kieran, Nicola wasn’t sure she could have those feelings again. Sure, she’d dated in college and had had a couple of short-term boyfriends, but no one had really touched her heart until she met Carl. And then, once she was in love and believed she’d finally get her fairy-tale ending, the so-called man of her dreams simply turned out to be another man who didn’t want her.
As she stacked the dishwasher with pizza trays, she checked the time. Two o’clock. The lunch crowd had thinned out, and there was only one couple remaining at one of the booth tables. Her father was slowly shoveling the coals in the fire pit at the other end of the kitchen, while Marco did some reading in the small office off the kitchen. Josie, one of the two waitresses working that day, came through the swing doors carrying a tray of glassware.
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