Читать онлайн книгу «Her Rugged Rancher» автора Stella Bagwell

Her Rugged Rancher
Stella Bagwell
THE CASE OF THE CONTRARY COWBOYLawyer Bella Sundell knows what she wants—cowboy Noah Crawford. The hunky foreman on her brother's ranch, Noah has a way with horses and women…and Bella is sure his touch is just as effective outside the barn! Despite her own past grief, she's ready to open her heart to the reclusive rancher.But can strong-minded Bella convince gun-shy Noah to give love a second chance?Once betrayed by the woman he trusted most, Noah is doing his best to resist love – even if Bella is the complete package. Yet the more he pushes her away, the more the place she holds in his heart deepens. Torn between his painful past and his bright, beautiful future, this lone ranger must make a decision to love again….



He reached out and gently traced his fingertip over the slant of her cheekbone. Her skin was as smooth as cream and he had no doubt it would taste just as rich.
His throat tightened as the urge to kiss her, make love to her began to tie his muscles into knots. “No. That’s not what I want to do, Bella. But then you already know what you’re doing to me. I imagine that makes you feel pretty damn good, doesn’t it? Knowing you can make a big man like me weak in the knees.”
Her eyes narrowed and then her head shook back and forth. “Why would you think such a thing? I have no desire to wield power over you. Or anyone else for that matter. That’s one of the reasons I like being a lawyer. Because I believe everyone should be on equal ground.”
“Well, in my case—”
“In your case, Noah, you’re thinking too much. Worrying too much. Why can’t you simply let yourself feel?”
“Because I’m feeling things that aren’t good for me.”
* * *
Men of the West:
Whether ranchers or lawmen, these heartbreakers can ride, shoot—and drive a woman crazy …

Her Rugged Rancher
Stella Bagwell

www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Having written over eighty titles for Mills & Boon, USA TODAY bestselling author STELLA BAGWELL writes about families, the West, strong, silent men of honor and the women who love them. She appreciates her loyal readers and hopes her stories have brightened their lives in some small way. A cowgirl through and through, she recently learned how to rope a steer. Her days begin and end helping her husband on their south Texas ranch. In between she works on her next tale of love. Contact her at stellabagwell@gmail.com (http://stellabagwell@gmail.com).
To my editor, Gail Chasan, for letting me be me. With much love and thanks!
Contents
Cover (#u17261f63-38b3-596b-8519-011084ce3ce7)
Introduction (#ucf6bab5a-f0ba-5d70-b890-40466cd79728)
Title Page (#ue7d3b379-cc6b-5583-9e2c-50e967e4b35c)
About the Author (#u0ae62822-2dc5-50a5-a2a6-d002167f1b33)
Dedication (#u9b9722d2-992e-58ee-a636-f0587485b281)
Chapter One (#uc40b783c-60a5-5e8b-b6ca-d261c384bfec)
Chapter Two (#u26957868-f6c8-5598-b295-25615f7517ef)
Chapter Three (#uc9810143-82cf-57fc-a442-c4fd86168c5b)
Chapter Four (#ubce58ddc-bcb4-536a-9e6f-ba8250de9b00)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#ulink_2bf459e9-5033-539b-8d81-b9f29e85e721)
Of all the damned luck!
Noah Crawford muttered the words under his breath as he rounded a curve of the narrow dirt road and spotted a slender young woman with long dark hair walking in the same direction he was traveling. A saddled bay mare followed close on her heels.
He jammed on the brakes and dust billowed as the truck and trailer came to a jarring halt. Up ahead, the woman quickly took herself and the horse off to the side, then with a hand shading her eyes, turned to see who’d made the untimely stop behind her.
Bella Sundell.
Her name shivered through him like an unwanted blast of cold wind. Hell’s bells, what was she doing out riding in the middle of the afternoon? Why wasn’t she in Carson City, practicing law with her brother?
He’d worked on this Nevada ranch for seven years and during that time he’d never seen this woman on horseback. Nor had he spoken more than two dozen words to her. In fact, he often went out of his way to steer clear of her.
Too bad there wasn’t some way to dodge her now, he thought, as he snatched up his gloves and climbed out of the truck. But she was his boss’s sister. Besides, he wouldn’t ignore anyone who needed help.
Striding across the hard packed dirt, he called out to her, “What’s wrong?”
“Thanks for stopping, Noah.” She pointed to the horse’s front right foot. “She slipped on a rock and jerked a shoe loose when we were riding in the canyon. I thought I’d better lead her the rest of the way home. I didn’t want to take the chance of damaging her hoof.”
Trying to look anywhere other than her lovely, smiling face, he sidled up to the mare, then bent over to examine her foot.
“Riding in the canyon,” he remarked. “That’s a little risky for a woman alone, don’t you think?”
Silence followed his question, but that hardly surprised Noah. She didn’t have to answer to him. He was just the ranch foreman of the J Bar S, hardly her keeper.
Reaching into the front pocket of his jeans, he pulled out a Leatherman tool and quickly went to work jerking out the remaining nails of the loose shoe.
Behind him, he could hear Bella clearing her throat. “In case you hadn’t noticed, it’s the middle of May and the weather is already hot. It’s shady and cooler down in the canyon. Especially along the creek bed.”
“It might be cooler,” he reasoned. “But it’s rough terrain and a fair distance from home. Anything could happen to you.”
“Anything could happen to me right here on the road,” she politely pointed out. “A cowboy not watching where he’s driving could run over me and Mary Mae.”
Like him? To argue the point with her would only end up making Noah look like a fool. A lawyer’s job was to give advice, not take it. And this one was clearly no exception.
Turning his attention to the loose shoe, he levered off the piece of iron, then lowered the mare’s foot back to the ground.
“Hang on, girl,” he spoke softly to the horse. “We’ll get you fixed.”
After giving Mary Mae an affectionate pat on the shoulder, he forced himself to turn and look directly at Bella. The result was a familiar wham to his gut. The first time he’d met this woman, he’d been bowled over by her appearance. Creamy skin, long hair just shy of being black, warm brown eyes and soft expressive lips all came together to make one hell of a sexy woman. So much of a woman, in fact, that the passing years hadn’t dimmed his reaction to her.
“When we get to your place I’ll see about putting her shoe back on.” He gestured to his truck and trailer. “Climb in. I’ll get the mare loaded.”
She hesitated and he realized she must have sensed his reluctance to become involved in her problem. Even though, to Noah, the loose shoe was a reasonably small problem. Bella was the big one.
“I’m sorry to put you out like this, Noah. If you’re in the middle of doing something I can walk Mary Mae on home. It’s not all that far.”
“She doesn’t need to keep walking on that bare foot. And I’m not in the middle of anything, except helping you,” he said curtly.
Not waiting for her permission, he snatched up the mare’s reins and led the animal to the back of the long stock trailer. Once he had the mare loaded, he returned to the cab to find Bella already seated on the passenger side.
Climbing behind the wheel, he fastened his seat belt and started the engine. “Better buckle your seat belt.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Are you kidding? Here on the ranch?”
He slanted a glance in her direction, but the brief look was enough to take in her lush curves hidden beneath a pair of tight-fitting jeans and a white shirt left unbuttoned to a tempting spot between her breasts.
He let out a long breath. “That’s right. Anything—”
“Can happen,” she finished for him. “You’ve already said that. Is that your motto or something?”
Noah shoved the truck into gear. “If we had a wreck before we got to your place, you might be inclined to sue me for damages. With you being a lawyer and all,” he added dryly.
The sound she made was something between a laugh and a groan. “Jett’s a lawyer, too. Are you worried he might sue you if you ruin a piece of equipment or lose a calf?”
“No. Just making a point. It’s better to be safe than sorry.”
When Noah had first come to work on the J Bar S, Bella had been living up in Reno with her husband. But the marriage had fallen apart and Jett had convinced her to move in with him here on the ranch. She’d been working as a paralegal, but that job apparently hadn’t been enough to suit her. In the past few years, she’d gone on to finish her education and pass the bar exam. Now she shared an office with her brother, Jett, in downtown Carson City. He could say one thing for the woman, she certainly didn’t lack ambition.
“Okay. To make you happy.” Shrugging, she stretched the belt across her shoulder and locked it in place.
Noah let out a silent groan. He wouldn’t be happy until he was finished with this woman and out of her sight. Just being this close to her bothered the hell right out of him.
“You’re probably wondering what I’m doing out riding instead of practicing law,” she said.
Was he that transparent? “It’s none of my business.”
She went on as though she hadn’t heard his curt reply, “It’s all Jett’s doing. He urged me to take the day off and go shopping.” She let out a dreary little laugh. “He thinks I’ve gone to Reno to buy dresses. I decided I’d rather go riding.”
She probably had five or six closets stuffed with dresses and all the other fancy things a woman like her considered necessary. Noah figured she spent more money on one dress than his whole month’s salary. But that was none of his business, either.
“I see.”
She turned a curious glance on him. “Do you? I doubt it. Jett has this silly notion I’m sad because my old boss got married last weekend. He thinks I need to get out and get my mind off Curtis. Ridiculous. I’m not sad. And I never had my mind on Curtis in the first place. Not like that.”
So what man do you have your mind on now, Bella?
The question was so heavy on Noah’s tongue it was a struggle to bite it back. Hearing about her personal life was the last thing Noah needed or wanted. Of all the women he’d encountered since he’d left Arizona, she was the only one he’d ever given a second thought about. And though Jett sometimes casually mentioned his sister in conversation, Noah had never used the opportunity to ask his boss anything directly about Bella. No, Noah had learned the hard way that it was best to keep his distance from women and his thoughts to himself.
She said, “I suppose you never just ride for the fun of it. Your job forces you to spend a lot of time in the saddle.”
His job was his fun, he thought. It was his whole life. With his eyes fixed on the narrow road, he asked, “Do you ride often?”
“Every chance I get. That’s why I begged Jett to let me keep Mary Mae and Casper at my place instead of stalling them back at the ranch. Whenever I get the urge, I can saddle up and ride without having to drive back to the ranch yard.”
Four years ago, Noah had been the only man working for Jett on the J Bar S. At that time his boss had owned only a small herd of cows, and a few using horses. But then Jett had met and married Sassy Calhoun and everything had changed. The couple had immediately started adding to the herd and purchasing adjoining land to support more livestock. In a matter of a few short months, the ranch had quickly grown to be too much for Noah and Jett to handle themselves. Especially with Jett still working as the Calhoun family lawyer and doing part-time private practice in town. Since then, five more ranch hands had been hired and Noah had been elevated to the position of ranch foreman.
“Yeah, Jett asked me about taking the two horses out of the working remuda. I told him we could manage without them.”
From the corner of his eye, he could see her head turn to look at him and the smile on her lips struck a spot so deep inside Noah, he hardly knew what had hit him.
“Hmm. When I first came to live with Jett, he only owned two horses. My, how things have changed,” she said with wry fondness. “Now he has a whole string of horses, herds of cattle, and a wife and three kids.”
When Bella had moved into the J Bar S ranch house with Jett, her brother had been single and trying to recuperate from a failed marriage of his own. The situation had worked well for the siblings until Jett had married Sassy and started a family. After the third baby arrived last year, Bella had decided her brother and his family needed their privacy. She’d had her own house built about a half mile from the main ranch house and almost within shouting distance of Noah’s place. A fact that he tried to forget, but couldn’t.
“Things around here have been growing all right,” he finally replied.
The road grew steeper as it wound up the side of the mesa. Noah shifted the truck into its lowest gear and the motor growled as it climbed the switchback curves. Behind them, the trailer gently rocked as the mare braced her legs for the rocky ride.
When the vehicle finally crested the last rise, the land flattened and they entered a deep forest of ponderosa pine. After traveling a hundred yards under the thick canopy of evergreens, they reached the turn off to Bella’s house.
A graveled drive circled in front of a two-story structure made of rough cedar and native rock, shaded by more pines. Since she lived alone, Noah had often wondered why she’d wanted so much space. To fill it with a bunch of kids, or was the huge structure just to impress her friends?
Pushing away both annoying questions, Noah parked the truck and trailer in a favorable spot to unload the mare, then killed the engine. “I’ll fix Mary Mae’s shoe and unsaddle her for you. Do you keep her stalled at the barn?”
She pushed aside the seat belt and reached for the door handle. “No. I have a little paddock fenced off for her and Casper. I’ll show you.”
He opened his mouth to assure her that he could handle the task alone, but before he could utter a word, she was already climbing out of the cab.
Cursing to himself, he left the truck and quickly strode to the back of the trailer. Bella was already there, shoving up the latch on the trailer gate.
Instinctively, he stepped next to her and brushed her hands aside. “That thing is heavy. Let me do it.”
Thankfully, she moved back a few steps and allowed him to finish the task. But even that wasn’t enough space to give Noah normal breathing room. Something about Bella made him forget who he was and why he’d turned his back on having a woman in his life. That was reason enough for him to get Mary Mae fixed as fast as he could and get the hell out of here before he started staring at her like a moonstruck teenager.
She stood watching, her hands resting on her hips. “Just because my job requires sitting at a desk doesn’t mean I’m helpless and weak. I have muscles and I know how to use them, too.”
“You can use them when I’m not around.” He let the trailer gate swing open and immediately the mare backed up until she was standing safely on solid ground.
Bella immediately snatched a hold on Mary Mae’s reins and Noah realized she had every intention of hanging around until this job was finished. So much for losing her company, he thought hopelessly.
“Do you have tools with you to deal with her shoe?” she asked.
“I have tools. Just not a big assortment of shoe sizes. This one I just took off still looks pretty straight. I can reset it,” he told her.
“I didn’t realize you were a blacksmith.”
His gaze fixed safely on the mare, he said, “I’m not.”
“What are you then, a farrier?”
“No. Just a guy who’s taken care of horses for a long, long time. But if you’d feel better about waiting on a real farrier to fix Mary Mae, that’s fine with me. He’ll be coming by the ranch in a couple of weeks to deal with the remuda.”
She didn’t answer immediately and Noah glanced around to see she was looking at him with surprise. “Why would you think I’d want to wait?” she asked. “I don’t want her going without a shoe for that long. Besides, I trust you.”
She said the words so easily, as though she didn’t have to think about them, as though she considered Noah worthy of handling any task she could throw his way. The idea caused a spot in the middle of his chest to go as soft as gooey chocolate.
“I’ll get my things.” He gestured to a flat piece of ground a few feet away. “If you’d like, you can take her over there in the shade of that pine.”
Because he’d been helping the other ranch hands brand calves today, his shirt was still soaked with sweat while his caramel-colored chinks and blue jeans were marked with dirt and manure. No doubt he stunk to high heaven, but there was nothing he could do about sparing her the unpleasant odor. Except keep his distance. Something he’d do even if he smelled as fresh as a piece of sweet sage.
* * *
Beneath the cool shade of the pine, Bella stood near Mary Mae’s head, keeping a steady hold on the reins, while her gaze remained fixed on Noah. With the mare’s foot snug between his knees, he was bent over the upturned hoof, carefully hammering nails into the iron shoe.
While he was totally absorbed with the task, Bella used the opportunity to study his big hands. The backs were browned by the sun and sprinkled with black hair. The fingers were long and strong. Just like him, she couldn’t help thinking.
Six years ago when Bella had first come to live on the J Bar S, her brother had introduced her to Noah. At the time, he’d been the only man helping Jett take care of the sprawling ranch. In spite of her being numb from a fresh divorce, she’d found Noah’s presence striking and unforgettable. But even then it had been obvious he wasn’t a sociable man. He’d said little more than hello to her that day and since then she could count on one hand the times he’d spoken to her. Until today.
A few minutes ago, when he’d stopped along the road to check on her, she’d been totally surprised. Not that he was the type of man who’d ever say no to a woman in need of a helping hand. But this morning Jett had told her the men would be branding calves on the far side of the ranch today. She’d not expected to see Noah or any of the ranch hands on this section of the property.
The fact that Noah had been the one to happen by secretly pleased her. Of all the men Bella had encountered since her divorce, he’d been the only one who’d intrigued her. And to be totally honest with herself, he was the only one who’d turned her thoughts to the bedroom. She realized part of the reason for having such a sensual reaction to the man was his strong, sexy appearance. Yet he was also elusive, full of secrets and determined to keep his distance from her. Just the sort of man a woman liked to undress.
Funny, she thought, how Jett had believed she was besotted with Curtis, the lawyer she’d worked with for a few years before she’d passed the bar exam. True, she’d liked Curtis and admired his skills in the courtroom. And more than likely she would’ve gone on a date with him, if he’d ever felt inclined to ask. But he’d not asked and in the end, she’d been okay with that.
As for Noah, she’d never tried to catch his attention. He clearly didn’t want to be her friend, or anything else. And she wasn’t one to push herself on anyone. Besides, Jett had told her long ago that Noah was a very private man, who enjoyed the company of a horse far more than that of a human. There’d been many times she’d felt like that herself.
Pulling her thoughts back to the moment, Bella saw he was working quickly to snip off the excess ends of the nails he’d driven through the shoe and were now protruding through the outer wall of the mare’s hoof. Using a big steel file, he smoothed away the residual bumps, then placed Mary Mae’s foot back on the ground.
“All finished.” He straightened to his full height and turned to face her. “The shoe should stay in place for a couple more weeks or so. By then she’ll need four new ones anyway.”
Bella nodded that she understood. “I’ll make sure Jett sends the farrier up here to take care of her and Casper.” She gestured toward the barn located several yards beyond the house. “I don’t think you’ve seen my barn. After we get Mary Mae unsaddled I’ll show you around.”
As she waited for him to make some sort of reply, she lowered her lashes and slowly studied his face. For years a black beard had been a trademark of his appearance, but last spring Jett had commented about Noah shaving off his beard. A few days later, as she’d driven by the ranch yard, she happened to spot him from a distance. The change in his appearance had been dramatic, to say the least. And now that Bella could see him up close, she could admit she was mesmerized.
Noah was not a handsome man. Not by conventional standards, anyway. His craggy features were set in a wide, square-jawed face with a nose that was too big, and sun-browned skin that resembled the texture of a graveled road. Yet there was something about his dark blue eyes and strong quiet presence that oozed sexuality. And right now it was seeping out of his tough work clothes and going straight to her brain. But he clearly wasn’t getting the same vibe from her. The taut look of discomfiture on his features said he wanted to excuse himself and run for the hills.
After a long stretch of awkward silence, he finally said, “Let’s go.”
With the mare following close behind her, Bella started toward the barn. The evening sun was beginning to wane and the air had cooled somewhat. The breeze whistling through the branches of the pines felt good against her face, but it couldn’t do anything about the heat that Noah’s presence was stirring up inside her.
Bella, you’re a fool for having erotic thoughts about Noah Crawford. He’s a loner. For all these years he’s been content to live in a line-shack. He doesn’t want a conventional life. And he especially isn’t looking for a woman who wants a family of her own.
Disgusted at the nagging voice sounding off in her head, she mentally swatted it away and glanced over at the object of her thoughts.
“I imagine Jett told you that he tried to talk me out of building the barn.”
“He mentioned it.”
“Hmm. I’ll bet he’s done more than mention it,” she said with a short laugh. “But as you can see, I don’t always take my brother’s advice. I wanted a place to keep my horses or whatever animals I might take a notion to get.”
“What other kind of animals would you want?”
The doubtful tone of his voice didn’t surprise her. People had all sorts of strange ideas about lawyers. He was probably thinking she considered herself above doing barnyard chores. Or maybe he thought the only things she knew about were depositions and plea deals.
“Oh, I think I’d like to have a few goats. I love the milk Sassy gets from her little herd. And I want to keep a few yearling colts around. Just for the fun of teaching them about being haltered and saddled—you know, basic training stuff.”
“You know about dealing with yearlings?”
There was more disbelief in his voice and Bella refrained from shooting him an exasperated look. Except for what he probably heard through Jett, this man couldn’t know much about her.
“Noah, I’m thirty-two years old. I know a little more than filing my nails and curling my hair. I’ve been around horses all my life. One of my best childhood friends lived on a horse ranch. We spent hours watching her father train and sometimes he allowed us to help. It was always fun. Now Sassy has the mustangs and I help her with them whenever my job allows me the free time.”
She glanced over to see a stoic expression on his face. Which wasn’t surprising. The few times Bella had been in his presence he’d not just kept his words to himself, he’d also hidden his emotions behind a set of stony features.
He said, “You might know the fundamentals, but exposing a yearling to a saddle and bridle is not for the faint of heart. It’s dangerous.”
“Dear Lord, Noah. The way you talk, simply living is a dangerous task.”
“Maybe it is,” he muttered.
She wondered what he meant by that, but knew better than to ask. Instead, she remained quiet and thoughtful as they walked the last few yards to the barn. Along the way, she listened to the jingle of his spurs and the faint flap of the leather chinks against his jeans. The sounds were those of a hardworking man and they comforted her in a way she’d never expected. She had no doubt that if he ever had a woman in his life, he’d certainly be able to take care of her, to protect her in all the ways a man could protect a woman.
When they reached the big red barn, Bella opened the double doors, then gestured for Noah to lead Mary Mae inside.
Once they were standing in the middle of a wide alleyway, Noah looked around him with interest. “You must’ve had the barn built of cinderblock for fire purposes.”
“That’s right. I’m sure that you know as well as I do that up here on the mesa, water is a scarce commodity. And we probably live at least twenty miles from town and the nearest fire department,” she reasoned.
“I didn’t realize the barn was this big,” he remarked. “From the road it looks smaller.”
“Jett says I went overboard. But I wanted plenty of room.” She pointed to a hitching rail made of cedar posts. Beyond it was a room with a closed door. “There’s the tack room. Let’s take Mary Mae to the hitching post to unsaddle her.”
At the hitching rail, he gave the mare’s reins a wrap around the post and proceeded to loosen the back girth on the saddle. While he worked, Bella decided to talk more about the barn. Hopefully, the subject would distract her from the sight of Noah and the way his broad shoulders flexed beneath the blue chambray shirt.
“Besides the tack room, there’s six horse stalls and a feed room,” she said, while thinking she sounded more like a real estate agent than a woman trying to make conversation with a sullen man. “The loft has plenty of space for several tons of hay, too.”
“Very nice,” he said.
Did he really think so? Or did he think she was just a girl with too much money to spend on things she knew nothing about?
The answers to those questions hardly mattered, she thought. She might have erotic fantasies about Noah, but he’d never be anything more than a ranch employee to her. After six years of ignoring her, he’d made it fairly clear he wasn’t interested.
“Thanks. I’m proud of it.”
It took only a few moments for him to finish unsaddling the mare. While he stored the tack and saddle away, Bella grabbed a lead rope and looped it around Mary Mae’s neck.
“There’s no need to put a halter on her. She’ll lead like this,” Bella explained. “Come along and after we put her out to pasture you can join me for coffee.”
Even though she didn’t glance his way, she could feel his eyes boring a hole in her back. As though she’d invited him into her bedroom instead of her kitchen.
“Uh, thanks, Ms. Sundell, but I’d better be getting on home.”
Impatient now, she said, “My name isn’t Ms. Sundell to you. It’s Bella and furthermore, you know it. As for you getting home, you live not more than five minutes away. And there’s still an hour or more before sundown. What’s your hurry?”
Not waiting to see if he was going to follow, Bella headed down the alleyway until she reached the opposite end of the barn. There, she opened a smaller side door and urged the mare through it.
Once the three of them were outside, walking beneath the shade of the pines, he answered her question, “I have a busy day scheduled tomorrow. I need to rest.”
A loud laugh burst out of her and from the corner of her eye, she could see the sound had put a tight grimace on his face.
“Rest? Right now I imagine you could wrestle a steer to the ground and not even lose your breath. You need to come up with a more believable excuse than that.”
He moved forward so that he was on the right side of the mare’s neck and a few steps away from Bella. “Okay,” he said, “here’s another reason for you. I’m nasty and sweaty. I don’t need to be sitting on your furniture.”
She laughed again. “It’s all washable. Besides, I made a rhubarb pie before I went riding. I’ll give you a piece.”
“I’ve never eaten rhubarb.”
“Good. You’re in for a treat.”
“I don’t think—”
She interrupted, “It would be impolite for you to refuse my invitation. Besides, the pie and coffee will be my payment for the shoe job. Fair enough?”
“I wasn’t expecting payment.”
No. He seemed like the type of man who didn’t expect anything from anybody and it was that cool sort of acceptance that completely frustrated her.
Holding back a sigh, she said, “I realize that.”
Bella hardly thought of herself as a femme fatale, but she figured most any single, red-blooded man would be happy to accept her invitation. For the pie, if no other reason. But Noah wasn’t like most men. She expected if there was such a thing as a loner, he was the perfect example of one.
A short distance away from the east side of the barn, the pines opened up to create a small meadow. After she turned Mary Mae in the pasture to join Casper, she fastened the gate safely behind her.
“How do you water the horses?” he asked curiously.
“In spite of what I just said about water being scarce, I found a small spring with a small pool not far from here on a ledge of the canyon wall. The horses can access it easily and the pasture fence includes it. I try to check it daily to make sure it hasn’t dried up.”
“You’re fortunate.”
Bella knew he was talking about the water supply, but she couldn’t help thinking that he was right in so many ways. After her divorce from Marcus, she’d not been able to see much of a future. Oh, she’d not given up on life by any means, but she’d certainly been bitter and disillusioned. Coming to the J Bar S, and living with her brother, had helped her get past the failure of her marriage. She might not have the family she always wanted, but at least she had a home of her own and a blossoming career as a lawyer.
“Believe me, Noah. I realize that every day.” She turned toward the house. “Come on. Let’s go have a piece of pie and you can tell me whether I can cook or not.”
* * *
A few moments later, Noah followed Bella across a stone patio filled with lawn furniture and equipped with a fire pit. For entertaining her many friends, he thought. Most of them would probably be business people or folks connected to her law practice. He doubted a simple cowboy like him, who spent his days in the saddle, would be sitting under the shade of the pines, sipping summer cocktails.
They entered a screened-in back porch filled with more furniture and potted plants and then she opened a door that took them directly into a spacious kitchen equipped with stainless-steel appliances and a work island topped with marbled tile.
“Sorry for bringing you in the back way,” she said. “But it would’ve have been silly to walk all the way around to the front door.”
It was silly of him to be in the house in the first place, Noah thought grimly. In fact, he felt like a deer tiptoeing into an open meadow. He was just asking for trouble.
“I’m used to entering back doors, Ms.—uh, Bella.”
She laughed softly. “Maybe one of these days you’ll tell me about some of those back doors you’ve walked through.”
Only if he was drunk or had been injected with sodium pentothal, Noah thought.
“That kind of confession might incriminate me,” he said.
Her eyes sparkling, she laughed again and Noah felt the pit of his stomach make a silly little flip. Without even trying, she was the sexiest woman he’d ever met. And her sultry beauty was only a part of the reason. The richness of her voice, the sensual way her body moved, the pleasure of her laugh and glint in her brown eyes all came together to create a walking, talking bombshell.
“You need to remember that information shared between a lawyer and his client is private,” she joked, then pointed to a long pine table positioned near a bay window. “Have a seat.”
He looked at the table and then down at his hands. “I think I’d better wash my hands first.”
Pink color swept over her face. “Oh, I’m sorry, Noah. I haven’t really lost my manners. I just wasn’t thinking. Follow me and I’ll show you where you can wash up.”
They left the kitchen through a wide opening, then turned down a hallway. When they reached the second door on their right, she paused and pushed it open to reveal an opulent bathroom.
“There’s soap and towels and whatever else you need. Make yourself at home,” she told him. “When you’re finished you can find me in the kitchen.”
“Thanks.”
She left him and Noah entered the bathroom. At the gray marble sink, he scrubbed his hands and face with soap and hot water, then reluctantly reached for one of the thick, fluffy hand towels draped over a silver rack. If his hands weren’t clean enough, they’d leave traces of dirt and manure on the towel. It would be embarrassing to have Bella discover he’d messed up her fine things.
Hell, Noah, why are you worrying about a damned towel or tracking up the tile? And why should you be feeling like a stallion suddenly led into a fancy sitting room instead of a barn stall? Bella isn’t a snob. In fact, she acts as if she likes you. Why don’t you take advantage of the fact?
Disgusted by the voice sounding off in his head, Noah hurried out of the bathroom. The sooner he accepted this payment of hers, the sooner he could get out of here and forget all about her and her warm smile and sweet-smelling skin. He could go back to being a saddle tramp. A man without a family and a past he desperately wanted to forget.
Chapter Two (#ulink_fc8b8835-bce3-5e0e-bb33-b3d212b748b9)
When Noah returned to the kitchen, Bella was standing at the cabinet counter. The moment she heard his footsteps, she glanced over her shoulder and smiled at him.
“I waited about pouring the coffee. It dawned on me that since the day is so warm you might prefer iced tea.”
He removed his gray cowboy hat and Bella watched one big hand swipe over the thick waves. His hair was the blue-black color of a crow’s wing and just as shiny and she suddenly wondered if a thatch of it grew in the middle of his chest or around his navel. And how it might feel to open his shirt and look for herself.
“The coffee would be good,” he told her.
Clearing her throat in an effort to clear her mind, she said, “Great. Well, if you’d like, you can hang your hat over there by the door and I’ll bring everything over to the table.”
He waited politely until she’d put the refreshments on the table and taken a seat, before he sank onto a bench on the opposite side of the table from her.
Bella cut a generous portion of the pie and served him, then cut a much smaller piece for herself.
“I’d offer to put a dip of ice cream on top, but I’m all out,” she told him.
“This is more than fine,” he assured her.
Even though he began to consume the pie and drink the coffee, Bella could see he was as taut as a fiddle string. Apparently he was wishing he was anywhere, except here with her. Strangely, the notion intrigued her far more than it bothered her.
From what Jett had told her, he’d often encouraged Noah to find himself a woman, but the man had never made the effort. If Jett knew the reason why his foreman shied away from dating, her brother had never shared it with her. And she’d not asked.
It would look more than obvious if she suddenly started asking Jett personal questions about his foreman. Still, she’d often wished an opportunity would come along for her to get to know more about the rough and rugged cowboy.
Now, out of sheer coincidence, he happened to be sitting across from her, without anyone around to listen in on their conversation. She wanted to make the most of every moment. She wanted to ask him a thousand questions about himself. And yet, she couldn’t bring herself to voice even one. She didn’t want to come across as a lawyer digging for information, any more than she wanted to appear like a woman on the prowl for a man.
“So how do you like your new house?” he asked.
Encouraged that he was bothering to make conversation, she smiled. “I do like the house. It’s comfortable and meets my needs. But I have to be honest, there are times the quietness presses in on me. After living with Jett and Sassy and three young children, the solitude is something that will take time for me to get used to.”
“I don’t think Jett expected or wanted you to move out of his home.”
She shrugged with wry acceptance. “I didn’t want to end up being one of those old-maid aunts who got in the way and made a nuisance of herself.”
She felt his blue gaze wandering over her face and Bella wondered how it would be if his fingers followed suit. The rough skin of his hands sliding along her skin would stir her senses, all right. Just thinking about it made goose bumps erupt along the backs of her arms.
He said, “I doubt that would’ve ever happened.”
She grunted with amusement. “Which part do you doubt? Me being an old maid? Or getting in the way?”
“Both.”
“You’re being kind.”
“I’m never kind,” he said gruffly. “Just realistic.”
Yes, she could see that much about him. A practical man, who worried about the dangers of life rather than embracing the joys.
“Well, it’s all for the best that I moved up here on the mesa. Sassy and Jett need their privacy. I wouldn’t be surprised if they had another child or even two to go with the three they have now.”
“Wouldn’t surprise me, either.”
A stretch of silence followed and while she sipped her coffee, she watched him scrape the last bite of pie from the saucer.
When he put down his fork, she decided she’d better say something or he was going to jump to his feet and leave. And she didn’t want him to do that just yet. Having him sitting here in her kitchen felt good. Too good to have it all end in less than fifteen minutes.
“Jett tells me the calf crop is turning out to be a big one this year,” she commented.
“That’s right. And Sassy has had some new foals born recently. Have you taken a look at them?”
“No. Unfortunately, I’ve been tied up with several demanding cases. But I plan to stop by the ranch house soon to see the kids. Maybe she’ll drive me out to the west range to see them.”
“You like being a lawyer?” he asked.
His question surprised her. She figured he wasn’t really interested one way or the other about her personal life. But he’d taken the trouble to ask and that was enough to draw her to him even more.
“Yes, I do like it. That’s not to say that I don’t get exhausted and frustrated at times. But for the most part, I like helping people deal with their problems.”
“Must be nice for you to get to work with your brother. Jett is easy to get along with. Me being here for seven years proves that,” he added.
She smiled faintly. “Jett values your work, Noah. If it wasn’t for you taking charge of everything I’m not sure he could even have this ranch. Aside from that, he cherishes your friendship.”
“Yeah, well, I owe him a lot.” Avoiding her gaze, he placed his cup on the table, then scooted the bench back far enough to allow him to rise to his feet. “The pie was delicious, Bella. Thanks. I can now say that I’ve eaten rhubarb.”
Before she could stop herself, she blurted out, “Going already?”
He still didn’t look at her. “I have chores at home to deal with.”
“Then you probably don’t have time for me to show you through the rest of the house?”
“Afraid not.”
She tried to hide her disappointment when she spoke again, “We’ll save that for next time.”
He didn’t reply to that and Bella figured he was probably telling himself there would be no next time. She’d never had a man make it so clear that he wanted nothing to do with her. But rather than put her off, it only made her more determined to spend time with him again.
As he gathered his hat from the rack on the wall and levered it onto his head, Bella stood and joined him at the door.
“I’ll walk with you out to the truck,” she told him.
“No need for that.”
There wasn’t any need, she thought. But she wasn’t going to let him get away that easily. “Don’t deny me. It’s rare I have company of any kind.”
They left the house the way they came in and as they walked toward his waiting truck, he said, “I imagine you have plenty of company, Bella.”
She smiled faintly. “What makes you think that?”
“Jett does a lot of entertaining at home. And you two are brother and sister.”
“Jett and I are siblings, but we think differently. Besides, most of his entertaining has to do with his law practice or ranching cronies. As for me, I don’t normally mix business with my home. I have invited our mother over for a night or two, though. She thinks I need my head examined for building a house up here on the mesa, away from everyone. She’d go crazy from the solitude.”
“And you haven’t?”
That made her laugh. “Not yet. Of course, my sanity is subject to opinion,” she joked.
He didn’t smile. But then, she didn’t expect him to. She’d never seen a genuine smile on his face.
By now they’d reached the driver’s side of the truck. After he’d opened the door and climbed behind the wheel, he glanced at her briefly, then stared straight ahead at the windshield.
“You be careful when you ride in the canyon,” he said.
She wanted to believe his warning was out of concern for her safety. Not because he was a bossy male. “I will. And thank you again for your help.”
“No problem.”
He closed the door and started the engine, leaving Bella with little choice but to step back and out of the way.
“Goodbye,” she called to him. “And you don’t have to be a stranger, you know. The sky won’t fall in if you stop by once in a while and say hello.”
He lifted a hand in acknowledgement, then put the truck into gear. Bella remained where she stood and watched the truck follow the circle drive until it disappeared into the dense pine forest.
So much for making an impression on the man, she thought. Noah hadn’t even bothered to give her a proper goodbye. But then Noah Crawford wasn’t like any man she’d ever met before. And that was darned well why she was determined to see him again.
* * *
Later that night, as Noah sat on the front step of his little cabin, he was still cursing his unfortunate luck of running across Bella. If he’d stayed with the men a half hour longer before heading home, he might have missed her. Or if she’d still been down in the canyon, he would’ve never known she was there or that her mare had thrown a shoe.
But for some reason, fate had aligned everything just right to put them on the road at the same time. No, fate had situated everything all wrong, he thought dismally. Now he was going to have a hell of a time getting Bella off his mind. After this evening, each time he passed her fancy house, he would think about too many things. How the kitchen had smelled of her baking, the way she’d talked and smiled as they’d sat at the pine table, and last, but hardly least, the way his heart had thudded like the beat of a war drum each time he’d looked at her.
Through the years Noah had worked for Jett, the man had never warned him to steer clear of his sister. Why would he bother? Both of them knew that Bella would never give Noah a serious look, anyway.
No, early on Noah had made his own decision to avoid Bella. Because he’d instinctively understood she was the sort of woman who could cause him plenty of trouble. Certainly not the devastating kind that Camilla had brought him, but enough to cause havoc in his life.
The sky won’t fall in if you stop by once in a while and say hello.
Had she truly meant that as an invitation? he wondered. Or had she simply been mouthing a polite gesture?
What does it matter, Noah? Even if she meant it, you can’t strike up a friendship with Bella. Getting cozy with her would be pointless. She’s an educated lady, a lawyer with enough smarts to figure out a loser like you.
Shutting his mind to the mocking voice trailing through his head, he watched a small shadow creeping along the edge of the underbrush growing near the left wall of the cabin.
“Jack, if that’s you, come out of there.”
His order was countered with a loud meow and then a yellow tomcat sauntered out of the shadows and over to Noah. As the cat rubbed against the side of his leg, Noah stroked a hand over his back.
“Ashamed to show your face, aren’t you? You’ve been gone three days. Hanging out somewhere with a girl cat, letting me believe a coyote had gotten you. I ought to disown you,” he scolded the animal.
In truth, Noah was happy to have his buddy back. A few years ago, he’d found the yellow kitten all alone, on the side of the highway near the turnoff to the ranch. And though Noah had never owned a small pet before, he’d rescued the kitten and brought him home. Later on, when Jack had grown old enough to be considered an adult, the cat had made it clear to Noah that he was going to be an independent rascal. Whenever he got the urge, Jack would take off, then come home days later, expecting Noah to fuss over him as though nothing had happened.
“But I won’t disown you,” Noah said to the cat. “And you damned well know it.”
Rising from the step, he opened the heavy wooden door leading into the cabin and allowed Jack to rush in ahead of him. Inside, Noah went over to a small set of pine cabinets and retrieved a bowl.
After filling it with canned food, he set it on the floor in a spot Jack considered his dining area. With the cat satisfied, he walked over and sank into a stuffed armchair. To the left of it, a small table held a lamp and a stack of books and magazines. Noah didn’t own a television. Something that Jett often nagged him about. But Noah had no desire to stare at a screen, watching things that would bore him silly. Instead, he’d rather use his small amount of time at home to read or listen to music.
Home. Most folks wouldn’t call his cabin much of a home. Basically it was a two-room structure, with the back lean-to serving as a bedroom, while the larger front area functioned as a living room and kitchen. The log structure had been erected many years before, when Jett’s maternal grandparents, the Whitfields, had owned the property. According to Jett, as the ranch had prospered, his grandfather, Melvin, had needed a line-shack and had built the cabin and its little native rock fireplace with his own hands. After a while, he’d upgraded the dirt floor to wooden planks and built on the extra room at the back. To Bella this cabin would be crude living, but to Noah, the simple space was all he needed. That and his privacy.
He was thumbing through a ranching magazine trying to get his mind on anything other than Bella, when his cell phone broke the silence. As he picked it up, he noted the caller was Jett.
“Did I wake you?” he asked Noah.
Noah rolled his eyes. “I’m not getting so old that I fall asleep in my chair before nine o’clock.”
Jett chuckled. “I thought you might be tired after branding today. That’s why I’m calling. Just checking to see how everything went.”
Jett wasn’t one of those bosses that called daily to line out the next day’s work. Ever since Noah had taken this job, Jett had been content to let him run things his way and at his own pace. That was just one of the reasons Noah wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
“No problems,” he told him. “One more small herd to go—the one over on the western slope and we’ll have them all branded. Can’t do it tomorrow, though.”
“Why not?”
“Used up all the vaccine we had. Me or one of the boys will have to go into town tomorrow for more.”
“After I sent Bella home, I ended up being swamped with work today, but I would’ve found a way to go by the feed store and picked up the vaccine for you,” Jett insisted.
“I thought about calling you. But we need a roll of barbed wire and a few more things anyway. Better to get it all at one time.”
Besides working on selected days at his law office in town, Jett also acted as the lawyer for the Silver Horn Ranch, a position he’d held for years. Since his wife Sassy was a member of the Calhoun family, who owned and operated the notable ranch, Noah figured Jett would keep the job from now on.
“Well, there’s no urgency about the branding. Whenever you and the boys can get to it will be soon enough. I don’t plan to sell any of the calf crop on the western slope, anyway. I’ve given them to Sassy.”
It wasn’t surprising to hear Jett had given the calves to his wife. The man was always giving or doing something for her. On the other hand, Sassy deserved her husband’s generosity. She’d given him three beautiful children, worked hard to make the ranch a success, and most of all she adored him. Jett was a lucky man and he knew it.
“I—uh, ran across your sister today,” Noah said as casually as he could. “She’d gone riding and her mare had thrown a shoe.”
“Yes. I spoke with her earlier over the phone. She was very grateful for your help. Thanks for lending her a hand, Noah. You know, she’s very independent. I’m surprised she didn’t tell you she’d take care of the mare’s shoe herself.”
Noah rose from the chair and walked over to the open door. If he looked to the southwest, he could see the lights from Bella’s house, twinkling faintly through the stand of pines. Now that he’d been inside her home, it was much too easy to picture her there.
“She didn’t put up a fuss,” he replied.
Had Bella told her brother that she’d invited him inside for pie and coffee? Noah wondered. The memory of his brief visit with her still had the power to redden his face. Looking back on it, Bella had probably thought he was a big lug without enough sense to paste two sentences together. Even now in the quiet of his cabin, he couldn’t remember half of what he’d said to her.
“Speaking of fussy, I wish you’d stop being so damn hard to please and try to find yourself a woman,” Jett said.
“That isn’t going to happen,” Noah muttered. “Not ever.”
“Never say never, Noah. You don’t know what the future holds for you.”
“My future damned sure won’t have a wife in it!”
His outburst was met with a moment of silence, then Jett said, “Well, I’m glad to hear you’re feeling like your old self tonight.”
Noah swiped a hand over his face. When he’d first responded to Jett’s ad for a ranch hand, he’d expected him to ply him with all sorts of questions. That was the nature of a lawyer, he figured. But the only facts Jett had seemed interested in was whether Noah had experience taking care of cattle and if he was wanted by the law. It wasn’t until time had passed and a friendship had developed between the two men that Noah had confided he’d left a bad situation behind him and it had involved a woman. Jett had seemed to understand it was a matter that Noah wanted to keep to himself and he’d never asked him to elaborate. Still, that didn’t stop his friend from urging him to find a wife.
A wife. The idea was laughable.
“Why wouldn’t I be feeling like my old self?” Noah asked grumpily.
Jett said, “Oh, I don’t know. One of these days you might soften up and be a nice guy for a change. Miracles do happen.”
Before Noah could think of a retort, Jett went on, “I got to go help Sassy. She’s trying to get the kids to bed. If you need me tomorrow, call me.”
“Yeah. Good night, Jett.”
Ending the conversation, Noah slipped the phone into the pocket of his shirt and stepped back outside. The night air had cooled and the clear sky was decorated with endless stars. A gentle breeze stirred the juniper growing at the corner of the cabin and somewhere in the canyon he could hear a pack of coyotes howling.
Normally he savored soft summer evenings like this. But tonight he was restless. Being near Bella has stirred up dreams and plans that he’d pushed aside long ago.
This job was all that he wanted and his friendship with Jett was too important to let a woman ruin it, he thought grimly.
I wish you’d...try to find yourself a woman.
Noah’s jaw tightened as Jett’s remark echoed through his mind. Even if he wanted a wife, it would be impossible for him to find one. Ever since he’d first laid eyes on Bella, he’d not been able to see any other woman but her.
Feeling something move against his leg, he looked down to see Jack sitting on his haunches, peering up at him.
“Yeah, Jack, I know I’m a fool of the worst kind. But you’re not in a position to be pointing fingers. You do enough womanizing for the both of us.”
* * *
The remainder of the week was a busy one for Bella. Between two heated divorce cases, an adoption case, plus a custody trial, she’d hardly had time to eat or sleep. And it didn’t help matters that Noah had continued to pop into her mind at her busiest moments, playing havoc with her ability to focus on her work.
Ever since he’d stopped on Tuesday afternoon to help her with Mary Mae, she’d not been able to push the man out of her mind. Now it was Sunday afternoon and as she sat on the back porch listening to the lonesome sound of the wind whistling through the pines, she could only wonder if he was at his cabin and what he might think if she showed up on his doorstep.
You’re thinking about him because he’s a mystery, Bella. Because he’s lived alone in that line-shack for all this time and you don’t understand why he’s such a recluse. That’s the only reason the man is dwelling in your thoughts. That’s the only reason you want to see him. Just to satisfy your curiosity.
The mocking voice in her head caused her to sigh with frustration. Maybe Noah’s solitary life did intrigue her, yet there was much more about him that played on her senses. If she’d been more like some of her daring girlfriends, she would’ve already made an effort to try to catch his attention. But she wasn’t the type to pursue a man. Besides, how did a woman go about garnering the attention of a man as cool and distant as Noah? If she knew the answer to that she might have tried years ago.
The other day when he’d helped her with Mary Mae, she’d caught quick glimpses of what was hidden behind his blue eyes and rugged face. And those few peeks had been stuck in her mind, tempting her to see him again.
Tired of fighting a mental battle with herself, Bella rose to her feet and hurried into the house. Mr. Noah Crawford might as well get ready for company, she decided, as she stepped out of her skirt and into a pair of riding jeans. Because he was about to have a visitor, whether he wanted it or not.
Less than a half hour later, Bella reined Casper, her gray gelding, to a stop beneath the shade of a tall cottonwood and slipped from the saddle. After she’d secured the get-down rope to a strong limb, she approached the cabin.
Although there were no sounds coming from the log structure, the door was standing wide open, as were the two windows facing the front yard. Not that the space could actually be called a yard, she thought. It was mostly a thick carpet of pine needles with patches of bramble bush and Indian rice growing here and there.
At the doorstep, she shoved her cowboy hat off her head. A stampede string caught at the base of her throat, allowing the headgear to dangle against her back. After running a hand through her hair, she rapped her knuckles against the doorjamb.
“I’m here.”
Jerking her head in the direction of his voice, she spotted Noah standing a few feet away at the corner of the cabin. One look at his tall, dark image was enough to push her heartbeat to a fast, erratic thump.
Unconsciously, her hand rested against the uncomfortable flutter in her chest. “Oh, hello, Noah! I didn’t see you when I knocked,” she said.
“I was at the back of the house,” he explained. “I heard you ride up.”
Heard her? Casper hadn’t neighed or even kicked over a small stone. He must have superhuman hearing, she decided.
“I was out riding and thought I’d stop by to say hello.” The explanation for showing up on his doorstep sounded lame, but it was the best she could do. She could hardly tell him she’d purposely invited herself.
His sober expression said he didn’t believe a word she’d just said. Yet she found herself smiling at him anyway. Mostly because something about him made her feel good inside.
He said, “At least you’re not riding down in the canyon.”
She smiled again. “No. But that doesn’t mean I’ve marked that riding trail off my list. It’s too beautiful to resist.”
He looked different today, Bella realized, as her gaze took in his faded jeans and gray T-shirt. The few times she’d been in Noah’s presence, he’d always been dressed for work with long-sleeved shirts, spurs strapped to his high-heeled boots, and a gray felt on his head. She’d never seen his bare arms before and the sight had her practically gawking. She’d not expected them to be so thick and muscled, or his skin to be nut-brown.
“So you’re riding the gelding today,” he remarked. “Is the mare okay? Any problem with her foot?”
“No problem. I just thought it was Casper’s turn to get out for a while.”
He didn’t say anything to that and Bella figured he was waiting for her to say she needed to mount up and finish her ride. Well, that was too bad. She wasn’t going to let him off that easily.
“Uh, am I interrupting anything?” she asked politely.
He hesitated, then said, “I was just putting some meat on the grill. On Sunday I usually make myself an early supper.”
“Mmm. I don’t suppose you’d have enough for two, would you?”
His brows shot up, but Bella was determined not to feel embarrassed by her forward behavior. It wasn’t as if she was asking him to kiss her.
“It’s only hamburgers,” he said.
“I love burgers. Especially when they’re grilled. Are you a good cook?”
“I can’t answer that. I’m the only one who ever eats my cooking.”
She chuckled. “Then you really need for me to give it a try. I’ll give you an honest review.”
His attention lifted away from her to settle on Casper. Bella was glad to see the horse already understood he’d reached his destination. His head was bowed in a sleepy doze, his hind foot cocked in a relaxed stance.
Noah said, “Bella, I think—”
Bella quickly interrupted, “If you don’t have enough food to share, that’s fine. A cup of coffee will do me.”
He grimaced. “It’s not the food. I—”
“Don’t like my company?” she asked pointedly.
Dark color swept up his neck while the frown on his face deepened. And watching his reaction, Bella could only wonder if she’d gone crazy. The man clearly didn’t want her around. Any sensible woman would proudly lift her chin and walk away. But there was something in his eyes that made her stand her ground. A bleak, desperate look that called to her heart.
He blew out a long breath. “I wasn’t expecting you, that’s all.”
She stepped off the porch and walked over to him. “I apologize for showing up unannounced. But it’s a lovely afternoon and I was getting very tired of my own company.”
* * *
Then why didn’t she drive down to her brother’s house, where she could find plenty of company? Noah wanted to ask. Why didn’t she get on her horse, ride off and leave him alone?
If Noah was smart, he’d do more than ask her those questions. He’d tell her outright that he didn’t want her around here messing with his mind, making him feel things he didn’t want to feel. But he couldn’t bring himself to utter any of those things to her.
Just seeing her again was making his heart thump with foolish pleasure. Hearing her sweet voice was like the trickle of a cool stream to a man lost in the desert. He couldn’t forbid himself those pleasures. Even if they might eventually hurt him.
“Well, it just so happens I have enough food to share.” He gestured toward the open door. “If you’d like to go in, I’ll see about making another patty for the grill.”
“Thanks. I would like.”
Noah followed her inside the cabin and moved to one side as she stopped in the middle of the room to glance curiously around her. He could only wonder what she thought about the log walls, low-beamed ceiling and planked floor, much less the simple furnishings. But then, he’d not invited her up here for a visit, he thought. She’d invited herself.
“This is cozy. And so much cooler than outside,” she commented, then glanced at the short row of cabinets built into the east wall of the room. “Those are nice. Did you help build them?”
Did she actually believe he might be that talented? The idea very nearly made him smile, but he stopped himself short. What the hell was he doing? He didn’t smile at women. He didn’t even like them. Not after the hell Camilla had put him through.
“I helped measure and hammer a few nails, but not much more than that. When it comes to carpenter work I can do a few repair jobs, but nothing major.”
She said, “I made a little doghouse once with the help of my grandfather. It turned out pretty good, but the darned dog never would get in it. Probably because Grandmother kept letting him in the house.”
The main ranch yard of the J Bar S sat just across from Jett’s house. While Bella had lived there, Noah had often spotted her going to her car as she left for work in the mornings. And sometimes late in the evening as he’d dealt with barn chores, he’d seen her return. She would always be wearing dresses and high heels and carrying a leather briefcase. With that image fixed in his mind, it was hard enough to accept she was a competent horsewoman, much less imagine her using a hammer and nails.
“Sounds like your grandmother spoiled your project,” he said.
“Not really. My cats used it.”
He inclined his head in the direction of the windows. “I don’t get much sunlight in here. I’ll turn on a lamp.”
“Don’t bother on my account. I can see fine.”
Noah wasn’t having any trouble seeing, either. Yet he was having a problem deciding if the vision standing in his cabin was real or imagined. Other than Jett and a couple of the other ranch hands, he’d never had visitors up here. And bringing a woman home was definitely off-limits. How Bella had managed to be here was a different matter. But she was here just the same and for now he’d try to deal with the situation as best he could without being rude.
“Have a seat. The couch is a little hard. You might find the chair more comfortable.”
“Thanks, but I’ll sit later. Let me help you with the hamburger meat. I can make the patty.”
She followed him over to the kitchen area and though she stood a few steps away from him, Noah felt completely smothered by her presence.
“I’ll do it,” he told her. “You’re a guest.”
Laughing softly, she leaned her hip against the cabinet counter. Noah tried not to notice how her jeans hugged the ample curve of her hips and thighs and the way her blouse draped the thrust of her breasts. And even when he looked away, the image was still so strong in his mind it practically choked him.
“I’m not a guest,” she reasoned. “I’m just a neighbor who’s intruded on your privacy. But thanks for letting me.”
Why did she have to be so nice? Why couldn’t she be one of those spoiled, abrasive women that got on everyone’s nerves? Why couldn’t she be a woman who considered herself too good to come near his cabin, much less enter it? Then he wouldn’t be having this problem. He wouldn’t be wanting to throw caution to the wind and let himself simply enjoy her company. Instead, she was warm and sweet. And just having her near filled him with a hollow ache.
“Well, I don’t normally have company. Uninvited or otherwise,” he told her. “So my manners are a little rusty. I’m afraid you’ll have to overlook them.”
He glanced her way to see she was smiling and for a moment his gaze focused on her dark pink lips and white teeth. That mouth would taste as good as her voice sounded, he imagined.
“Who’s worried about manners? You and I are family,” she said. “Well, practically. You’ve been here on the ranch longer than I have. We just never had the opportunity to talk much. When I was still living with Jett, you would stop by, but never say a word to me. I’m glad you’re being much nicer today.”
He laid a portion of ground meat onto a piece of wax paper and smashed it flat. “A guy like me doesn’t have anything interesting to say to a lady like you.”
From the corner of his eye he watched her move a step closer. “Lady? I’ve not had a man call me that in a long time, Noah. Thank you.”
Her voice had taken on a husky note and the sound slipped over him like a warm blanket in the middle of a cold night.
“That’s hard to believe, Bella.”
She shrugged. “Not really. Men aren’t very chivalrous nowadays. At least, not the ones I cross paths with. Maybe that’s because of my profession. In the courtroom they see me as an adversary. Not a lady.”
“Jett says you worked hard to get your degree. He also says you’re good at your job.”
“Jett is obviously biased. But I can credit him for getting me in the law profession. When I was growing up, I never dreamed of being a lawyer. But after Marcus and I divorced the course of my life changed. Jett got me interested in being a paralegal and from there I guess you could say I caught the bug to be in the courtroom.”
Her gaze fell awkwardly to the floor and it suddenly dawned on Noah that every aspect of this woman’s life hadn’t been filled with success. She’d endured her own troubles with the opposite sex. And though he’d heard Jett label his ex-brother-in-law as a liar and a cheat, Noah had never questioned the man about Bella’s divorce or how it had affected her. It was none of his business. But that didn’t stop him from wondering how much she’d really loved the guy.
Or whether she was finally over him.
Chapter Three (#ulink_d00e7a4e-b945-5456-988c-84d71aba1264)
Clearing his throat, Noah said, “Excuse me, Bella, but I’d better take this out to the grill. It’s probably hot enough to put the burgers on now.”
“Sounds good,” she told him. “I’ll join you.”
She followed him out of the cabin and around to the back. Although there were only a few clumps of grass growing here and there over the sloping ground, he kept it neatly mown. For a makeshift patio, he’d put together four flat rocks. On one corner of the space, he’d erected a small charcoal grill atop a folding table.
A few steps away sat a lawn chair made of bent willow limbs and cushioned with a folded horse blanket. Near it lay a huge pine trunk that had fallen long before Noah had ever moved into the cabin. The smooth, weathered log made a playground for squirrels and chipmunks and a seat where he often drank his morning coffee.
While he positioned the patties on the hot grill, Bella ambled a few feet away where the forest opened up to a view of bald desert mountains in the distance.
“Are those mountains on Jett’s land?” she asked.
It surprised Noah to hear her call it Jett’s land. He’d always suspected that she was a partial owner in the ranch, but apparently he’d supposed wrong.
“No. They look close, but they’re at least ten miles away. Why do you ask?”
“Just curious. This is going to sound silly, but there are places on this ranch that I’ve never seen. Especially since Jett and Sassy bought the adjoining land a few years ago.”
“You obviously knew your way to the cabin,” he said.
“That’s right. My grandparents built the cabin,” she told him. “And when I was a little girl, my grandmother and I would come up here in the summer and pick wild berries.”
“I met your grandparents back before Christmas, when they came up to see little Mason after he was born. Nice folks.”
“Yes. I keep promising to drive down for a little visit with them, but it seems like I can never get that many free days in a row to make the trip to California.” She turned and strode back to the shaded area where he was standing. “One of these days I’m going to clear my work schedule and go anyway. My grandparents aren’t getting any younger and I want to enjoy them while they’re still around.”
“Melvin talked to me about the little ranch he owns now. I’m glad he’s still healthy enough to have horses and cattle.”
Ignoring the chair, she sank onto the pine truck and crossed her ankles out in front of her. Noah closed the lid on the cooker and took a seat in the lawn chair a few feet away from her.
“Do you have grandparents, Noah?”
He said, “The only grandparents I ever really knew have passed on. Mom’s parents were never around, so I have no idea if either of them are still alive or where they might live.” The look of surprise in her eyes prompted him to add, “I don’t know where she or my dad are, either. They divorced when I was thirteen. After that, Mom left and never came back. Dad stuck around for a few months, then left me to be raised by his parents.”
Just as he’d expected, she looked stunned. And that was exactly why he’d revealed that part of his upbringing to her. He wanted to make sure she understood the sort of background he’d come from. That he’d been a child his own parents hadn’t wanted and his grandfather had merely tolerated.
“Oh. I didn’t know. Jett never mentioned the circumstances of your parents to me.”
“That’s because I’ve never talked to Jett about them. Your brother and I mostly talk about the present and the future.”
“Yes. Well, Jett has some pretty awful memories of his own that he’d rather leave in the past. Most of us do.”
She smiled at him and Noah was surprised to see she was still looking at him as though she liked him, as though he was someone she wanted to spend time with. He could only think she was either a very bad judge of character, or a very special woman.
The scent of the cooking beef began to fill the air and Noah got up to check on the progress of the burgers.
While he flipped the meat, she asked, “Do you like living here in the cabin? Away from everyone?”
“I’m a simple guy, Bella. I have everything I need or want right here.” At least that was what he’d been telling himself since he’d arrived in Nevada. But there were plenty of days Noah still felt the nagging need for a place of his own, and even more nights when he imagined himself with a wife and children to nurture and love. Yet once he’d left Arizona, he’d vowed to live a solitary life and so far, he’d had no trouble sticking to that sensible choice. Whenever he got to feeling like Jack, and the urge to go on the prowl for a woman hit him, all he had to do was think about Camilla. Remembering all the lies she’d told doused his urges even better than a cold shower.
“I guess the cabin seems pretty crude to you,” he added.
“I wasn’t thinking about the cabin,” she told him. “I was wondering if you ever get lonely.”
For most of his thirty-five years, Noah had been lonely. As a kid, he’d had buddies in school, but he’d never been able to invite them to his house for a meal or a simple game of catch in the backyard. Not that he would’ve been embarrassed by the Crawfords’ modest home situated on the poor side of the tracks. Most of his friends had been just as impoverished as the Crawford family. No, it had been his parents’ violent arguments that had ruined his chance to be a normal kid. And later, well, he’d let himself trust in another human being and ended up learning he couldn’t depend on anyone to stick by him. Not even a good friend.
“I don’t have time to get lonely,” he lied. “Every morning I leave here before daylight and usually don’t return until dark. That doesn’t leave me much time to pine for company.”
It wasn’t until he’d put the lid back on the grill and risen to his feet that she said, “It must be nice to be that contented with your own company. I’ll be the first to admit I get lonely.”
He grimaced. “You should have stayed in your brother’s house. With all those kids there’s never a dull moment.”
She shrugged. “I was getting in the way.”
“Jett didn’t want you to move out. I don’t suspect Sassy did, either.”
“Both are too nice to admit they were sick of Aunt Bella being underfoot—” she smiled wanly “—but I figure you probably understand how it feels to be, how should I say, standing on the outside looking in.”
Noah had to choke back a mocking groan. She, or anyone else, couldn’t possibly know how he’d felt as a child. His parents had barely acknowledged his existence. They’d been too busy trying to tear each other down. And later, his grandfather had only been interested in getting him raised to an age where he could kick him out into the world. Yeah, Noah knew all about being on the outside. But Bella didn’t need to know everything about his broken childhood, or the years that had followed before he’d finally settled here on the J Bar S. She’d probably feel sorry for him, and he didn’t want that from her, or anyone else.
He sank back into the lawn chair. “I understand, Bella. More than you think.”
She sighed. “While I was married and living in Reno I never imagined I’d ever be calling the J Bar S my home. I expected to stay in the city and raise a family with Marcus. Now I’ve been here nearly six years and Jett is the one with the family. I’m not a mother, but at least I’m a lawyer,” she added wryly. “Guess I should be thankful all these years haven’t been totally wasted.”
So in spite of her ex-husband deceiving and hurting her, she still she wanted a husband and family. He couldn’t decide whether she was a glutton for punishment, or a very brave woman.
“Looks to me like you’ve had a pretty successful life so far,” he replied. “A person has to learn to appreciate the blessings they have, instead of always wanting more.”
From the corner of his eye he could see her frowning. The expression was much easier to deal with than her smiles. As long as she disapproved of him, the less likely he’d be to lose his senses around her.
“Hmm. You’re saying I should be satisfied with what I have?”
He turned his head to look at her. “Well, you have a lot more than most, Bella.”
She gazed thoughtfully toward the mountains in the distance. “Yes, probably so. But a woman likes to dream, Noah.”
Oh yes, he thought bitterly. Noah knew, firsthand, how a woman could fantasize. Unfortunately, in Camilla’s case, her dreams had been twisted and wrapped solely around him. It hadn’t mattered to her that Noah and her husband, Ward, had been the best of friends and partners in Verde Canyon Ranch. No, she’d tried to make her dreams come true, no matter the consequences. As a result all three of them had been thrown into a nightmare, one that Noah still couldn’t forget.
Giving himself a hard mental shake, he got to his feet. “I’d better check the meat,” he told her.
* * *
Five minutes later, Noah was carrying a platter of sizzling patties into the cabin with Bella following close behind.
“Too bad you don’t have a picnic table of some sort,” she remarked. “It would be nice to eat outside.”
“If you’d rather eat outside, we can. But it’s a nuisance trying to balance everything on your lap.”
Bella shook her head. “This is fine. It’s just that the weather is almost perfect and I love eating outdoors. We’ll do it some other time—at my house.”
He didn’t say anything to that and Bella figured hell would probably freeze over before she ever got him to visit her house again. But she wasn’t going to think about that now. At least she was getting to spend time with the man and he was talking much more than she’d ever expected him to.
He placed the platter of meat on a small round table positioned beneath one of the open windows, then added a tray of prepared vegetables he’d taken from the refrigerator.
“I don’t have any tea or soda,” he told her, “but I can offer you a beer or water.”
“Beer goes perfect with a burger,” she told him. “Is there anything I can do to help? If you’ll show me where you keep your dishes and silverware I’ll set the table.”
He slanted a look at her as though he wasn’t sure he wanted her to be milling about in his kitchen, but after a moment he motioned his head toward the cabinets.
“The plates are in the cabinet on the left. The silverware is in the drawer underneath.”
While she set the tiny table, he fetched the drinks and a bag of potato chips. Once everything was ready, he surprised her by pulling out one of the scarred wooden chairs and helping her into it.
His nearness stirred her like nothing she could remember and though she told herself she was being foolish, she couldn’t seem to slow the erratic beat of her heart or stop the excitement rushing through her.
“Thank you, Noah.”
He took his seat across from her and as they began to put their burgers together, Bella asked, “Are you finished with all the branding now?”
“We wound it up yesterday. Now it’s time to deal with a bunch of fencing. The men won’t like it but that’s okay. They can’t have fun every day.”
Bella smiled as she added salt and pepper to her burger, then pressed everything inside a bun covered with sesame seeds. “Does that mean they consider branding as fun?”
“The lucky ones who get to rope and drag calves to the fire think of it that way. The hands working on the ground might have different ideas. They have the hardest job. That’s why after a few hours I make the men change places.”
It wasn’t surprising to hear Noah tried to keep things fair. As the foreman over a group of ranch hands, she expected he was always evenhanded. But how would he be as a lover or husband? Would he see her as his equal? Or was he an old-fashioned man who would expect his woman to submit to his wants and wishes?
Oh, Lord, Bella, why would you be wondering about those sorts of things? It’s clear he doesn’t want a family. You need to snap out of these silly daydreams you’re having about this cowboy. One of these days you’ll cross paths with a guy who’s meant to be your soul mate. And it’s not elusive Noah.
Shutting her ears to the voice going off in her head, she bit into the hamburger and immediately groaned with pleasure.
“Mmm. You’re a good cook, Noah. This is delicious.”
He shrugged. “I’ve cooked my own meals ever since I was a kid. So I’ve had plenty of practice.”
Had he fixed his own meals out of necessity, she wondered. Or simply because he’d wanted to? From what he’d said, his parents had more or less abandoned him. But surely his grandparents had been around to see to his needs. Or had they? She wanted to ask him, but reminded herself that Noah wasn’t on the witness stand or even sitting across from her desk at the office.
Eventually, she decided to ask something a little less personal. “Did you grow up here in Nevada?”
For a moment she thought he wasn’t going to answer and then he said, “No. I’m originally from Arizona. The southern part.”
“I took a trip with my mother to Tucson once. It’s beautiful down there.”
“Yes.”
His one-word reply disappointed her. She’d hoped her remark would lead him to open up about his former home or something about his past life. But he wasn’t going for it.
She went on. “But I happen to think our little area of the world right here is very pretty. Do you ever drive over to the lake?”
His brows pulled together. “You mean Lake Tahoe?”
She nodded and his frown grew deeper.
“No. I don’t have any business over there.”
Impatient now, she could barely keep from groaning out loud. Exactly where did he have business, she wanted to ask him. Were his interests confined to riding the range or in a dusty round pen, breaking a horse to ride?
She swallowed another bite of burger before she said, “Put like that, I and thousands more like me, also don’t have any reason to go to Tahoe, except to enjoy the scenery. Jett and I have fond memories of the lake. When we were kids our father would often take us there for picnics.” She sighed. “But that was before he took a permanent walk out of our lives.”
Glancing across the table, she saw his blue eyes thoughtfully studying her face and immediately she could feel a rush of heat fill her cheeks.
“I don’t recall your father ever visiting the ranch. And Jett never mentions him.”
“It’s been years since our father has been near Carson City. Once in a while I get a phone call from him. Or Jett will receive a letter in the mail. The last he heard, Dad was promising to come see his grandkids. So far that hasn’t happened.”
He looked confused. “So you still speak with your father?”
She smiled faintly. “Why not? We understand he’s a wandering musician. If we’d tried to hold him here, he would’ve been miserable. And that wouldn’t have done our mother or us kids much good. As long as he’s playing in a band somewhere, he’s happy. I think it took Jett a lot longer than me to accept our father’s indifference. But having Sassy to love has made my brother look at things from a more understanding perspective. Some people just march to a different drummer and our father is one of them.”
He reached for the bag of chips and poured a pile onto his plate. “Must be nice not to resent the man.”
She shook her head. “I could never resent him. He was always a very loving man. He still loves us—in his own way. And that’s what matters the most to me.”
“It’s clear we see things in a different way, Bella. If I ever had the misfortune to run into my old man again, I’d take great pleasure in busting him in the mouth.”
The hard bitter look on his face struck Bella far more than his words. The fact that he was harboring such anger and resentment toward anyone, much less his father, surprised her. Especially when she’d heard Jett describe how kindly and gently he treated every animal on the ranch. But she had to remember he’d not been as fortunate as she and Jett. They’d had a very loving mother, who’d worked hard to make sure her children had a normal home. From what Noah had told her, he’d not even had that much.
Not wanting to sound preachy, she simply said, “I’m sorry, Noah.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry, too.”
They finished the meal with only a few exchanges of small talk. Afterward, Bella helped him clear the table and wash what few dishes they’d used. As the two of them moved around the small space, an awkward tension began to build and she decided it was probably time for her to say goodbye.
With the last plate dried and put away in the cabinet, she folded the dish towel she’d been using and placed it on the end of the cabinet counter. “Thanks for the meal, Noah. I think I’d better be getting Casper back home before it gets dark.”
She expected to see a look of relief cross his face. Instead, his expression remained stoic, making it impossible to discern his reaction to her announcement.
Who are you trying to kid, Bella? His reaction is as clear as a cloudless day. He could’ve offered you coffee or pointed out that the evening was still young, anything to invite you to stay longer. Face it, he’s had all of your company he can stand.
Bella was trying to ignore the insulting voice going off in her head, when Noah said, “Right. It wouldn’t do for you to meet up with a bear or mountain lion in the dark.”
As far as Bella was concerned, he was much more dangerous to her well-being than any wild animal. Because she was drawn to him in ways she couldn’t quite understand. She only knew that being in his presence quenched a need deep inside her.
She moved to the open doorway, then paused. “I keep a little bear bell tied to my saddle horn. The jingle helps ward away any predators.” Now that she thought about it, the little tinkling bell was probably the sound that he’d heard when she’d first ridden up on Casper.
He hardly looked impressed by her safety measures, but he didn’t say anything and Bella quickly stepped out of the cabin and walked over to Casper.
She was untying the get-down rope from the tree limb when she sensed Noah walking up behind her. The fact that he’d followed her out of the cabin surprised her and as soon as the rope fell loose, she turned a questioning look at him.
A frown was on his face and his gaze connected with hers for only a brief moment before it dropped to the ground. He said, “Before you go there’s something I need to say.”
Her heart was suddenly pounding with foolish hope. Maybe he had enjoyed her company after all, she thought. Maybe he was going to tell her he’d like to see her again.
“Yes?” she asked.
His gaze returned to hers and she gave him an encouraging smile.
He cleared his throat. “I—uh, just wanted to say it was nice having you here.”
She couldn’t remember the last time a man’s words had filled her with such warm pleasure. “I enjoyed it very much, too, Noah.”
A frown pulled his brows together and as he swiped a hand through his thick hair, it became clear to Bella that he was carefully trying to choose what he was going to say next. Could it be he was trying to decide how best to ask her out on a date? It was crazy how much she wanted that to happen.
Finally he said, “Look, Bella, you’re a nice lady. And I have to be honest with you. I—well, I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t do this again.”
Certain she must have heard him wrong, her head moved stiffly back and forth. “This? What are you talking about?”
The confusion in her voice only seemed to frustrate him more and he raked a hand over his black hair as his eyes evaded meeting hers.
“Coming here to the cabin—my home.”
The direct meaning of his words hit her so hard she felt like someone had whammed a fist to her stomach.
“Oh.” Pain spread through her chest as she quickly turned back to Casper and began to tighten the saddle cinch. Oh, Lord, she’d made a giant fool of herself, but strangely that wasn’t the reason for her pain. No, it was the fact that he was so callously rejecting her. “Guess I’ve made a pest of myself. Sorry.”
She’d fastened the end of the latigo neatly in its holder and was backing the horse away from the tree in order to mount him, when Noah spoke again.
“It’s not that, Bella. It’s—just for the best. Can we leave it at that?”
She supposed she should have felt embarrassed. After all, she couldn’t remember any time in her life when a man had so bluntly spurned her. Even Marcus with all his cheating and lies had vowed he loved her and had desperately tried to hang on to her. Even her old boss, who’d recently gotten married, had liked Bella as a person. But for some reason, Noah just flat-out wanted no part of her. The realization made her want to cry, or scream. She didn’t know which. In the end she chose to do neither.
“Sure, Noah. You don’t have to explain. I apologize for making a nuisance of myself and ruining your evening. Don’t worry. It won’t happen again.”
Not daring to look at him, she crossed the split reins over Casper’s neck and started to lift the toe of her boot to the stirrup when Noah’s hand suddenly wrapped around her elbow.
Insulted even more, she shrugged his hold away. “Thank you,” she said stiffly, “but I don’t need help getting into the saddle.”
To her surprise, he wrapped his hand around her upper arm and she twisted her head to look at him. His blue eyes were partially hidden beneath the scowl of his brows, but there was a fire, a glint of life in them that she’d not seen before.
“I know I’m not the sort of gentleman that you rub shoulders with, but I do have manners, Bella.”
She’d never been a mean-spirited person, but she did have her pride, even though he was trying his best to crush it.
“Really?” she asked, her voice etched with sarcasm. “Well, if you had, good manners would have been telling me that you enjoyed my company—even though you didn’t.”
She expected him to drop his hold on her arm and move aside, but he clearly had other ideas. He tugged her around to face him and Bella’s knees went weak as his steely blue gaze grabbed on to hers.
“Don’t twist my words, Bella. I didn’t say anything about not enjoying your company.”
“But you just said—”
“I don’t want you back up here. I know what I said. And I meant it.”
No man had ever shaken Bella as much as Noah had at this very moment. There was something about his dark, brooding presence that reminded her of a stormy night, when shutters slammed and every shadow seemed to lurk with hidden dangers. And yet just to have him touch her was wildly exciting.
“Why?” she asked quietly.
“You little fool,” he muttered. “Don’t you have it figured out by now?”
“No. I—”
Before she could finish, he yanked her forward and straight into his arms. The shock caused her to drop her hold on Casper’s rein and the horse moved a few steps away.
“Then I need to make it clear. I can’t have you around me. Not when I want to do this.”
She watched in fascination as his face dipped toward hers. Then his lips made contact with hers and instantly her eyes squeezed shut, her breath caught in her throat.
Noah was kissing her!
For a split second the fact was so shocking she couldn’t think or react. Then just as quickly pleasure exploded inside her, causing her arms to wrap around his neck, the front of her body to press tightly against his.
Ever since he’d stopped on the side of the road to help her, she’d been dreaming of kissing him, tasting his lips and having his strong arms wrapped around her. Now, reality was proving to be a thousand times more potent and far more delicious than anything she could’ve conjured up in her mind.
As the kiss went on, Bella could feel herself sinking into a pool of liquid pleasure and it didn’t matter that she was in danger of losing her breath. She didn’t want the bliss to end.
But just as suddenly as the kiss had started, it ended with Noah tearing his lips from hers. The break did little to stop her reeling senses and she was forced to hang on to his shoulders to steady herself.
“You see now why I can’t have you near me?”
The gruff rasp of his voice caused her eyelids to flutter open and she found herself staring directly into his eyes. At the moment the blue orbs were dark and stormy, but whether that was a result of anger or passion, she couldn’t tell.
“Oh, Noah,” she whispered. “I—”
Before she could say anything else, he turned and moved a few steps from her. Bella wiped a shaky hand over her face, then walked over to stand at his side.
“I don’t understand,” she finally managed to say.
He let out a short, caustic laugh. “You think I do? Ever since I first laid eyes on you I’ve been wanting to do that. Stupid of me, huh?”
The trembling that had started on the inside of her during their kiss had now pushed its way to the outside, making her hands shake and her voice quaver. “I’ve been wanting to do that ever since I laid eyes on you, too. Does that make me stupid, too?”
A tight grimace twisted his features. “No. It makes you a liar.”
Bella stepped in front of him and stabbed him with an angry look. “You can call me bold or forward or unladylike, but don’t call me a liar. That’s one thing I’m not.”
“Then you must be a hypocrite. Jett says you had a crush on your old boss—that you still do. He’s the one you’ve had ideas about kissing. Not me!”
Doing her best to hang on to her temper, she said, “Jett doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I never had a crush on Curtis. Not while I worked as a paralegal in his law office or after I left it. I admired him for many reasons and even thought he’d make a good husband—but I could see he wasn’t meant for me.”
Bella couldn’t go on to explain that being around Curtis had never filled her head with erotic images. She’d never pictured herself making wild, passionate love to the man, the way she had with Noah. But those secret fantasies were far too intimate to share with this man.
Shaking his head, he glanced toward Casper, and Bella followed the direction of his attention. Thankfully the horse had been trained not to run away. At the moment he was happily tearing at the tufts of grass growing in scattered patches over the rocky ground.
“Forget I mentioned anything about the man,” Noah muttered gruffly. “Who you have your eye set on is none of my business. Unless you try to make me your target. So before you make your play, you need to know that I’m not about to let anything develop between us. Not now. Not ever.”
Bella proudly lifted her chin. “Then why did you kiss me?”
“That was my way of explaining the situation.”
She refrained from rolling her eyes toward the treetops. “It sure didn’t feel like a demonstration, explanation, or anything of the sort. It felt like an old-fashioned kiss—the kind two people with mutual attraction share. And if you could be totally honest with me, you’d admit that you want to do it again. I do.”
His jaws clamped so tight Bella figured his back teeth were probably in danger of crumbling beneath the pressure.
Turning his gaze back to her, he said, “Bella, I’m sorry, but I don’t have the luxury of playing games with the opposite sex. Especially when the games could become dangerous.”
“I would’ve never guessed you could be such an ass, Noah Crawford,” she said in a low, angry voice. “But I should’ve known. It’s no wonder you live such a solitary life. There’s no one around here worthy of your presence!”
With tears threatening to fall, she hurried over to Casper and swung herself into the saddle. Yet before she could kick the horse into a gallop, Noah was there, reaching up and dragging her out of the saddle.
Bella practically fell into his arms and she was forced to grab hold of his shoulders to keep from sliding down the front of his body.
She gasped with shock. “Noah! What—are you—doing?”
“I’m doing what both of us want!”
The words came out on a fierce growl and then he was kissing her again. Only this time the meeting of their mouths instantly turned into a frenetic search that lasted so long Bella was certain she was going to faint.
The rushing noise in her ears grew so loud she couldn’t hear the wind or the birds or even the moans in her own throat. Then, just as her knees were about to buckle, he lifted his head, allowing her to suck in a reviving breath of oxygen. Yet before she could gather herself completely, he stepped back, removing the anchoring support of his shoulders.
Forced to grab on to the fender of Casper’s saddle to keep from falling, she stared in shocked wonder at him.
“Noah, I—”
“Don’t say anything else, Bella,” he said in a husky growl. “Just go home. Before I say to hell with everything and carry you inside the cabin.”
Shaking almost violently now, she followed his order and quickly swung herself onto Casper’s back. The horse instantly sensed her turmoil and began to dance and shake his head against the bit. Without sparing a glance at Noah, she urged the animal into a gallop and didn’t ease the pace until she was long gone from the cowboy’s view.
Chapter Four (#ulink_5ccbd26d-3e0a-5282-9e8c-8664d37cc350)
Three days later on a late Wednesday evening, Noah was in the barn, taking an inventory of the ranch’s saddles and tack when a footstep behind him had him glancing over his shoulder.
The instant he spotted Jett striding toward him, he inwardly winced. This was the first time this week that he’d seen his boss. Any information they’d needed to share about ranch work had been done over the phone and Noah had been hoping by the time he faced Jett again, he would’ve forgotten all about his afternoon with Bella.
But so far Noah had found it impossible to get Bella, or the kisses they’d shared, out of his mind. From the moment she’d galloped Casper away from the cabin, his thoughts had been obsessed with the woman. Now he didn’t know what to do to shake the misery he was carrying around inside him.
“Hey, Noah. I saw your truck and wondered what you were still doing here. It’s getting late.”
The tall, dark-haired man dressed in worn jeans, cowboy boots and a gray battered hat looked nothing like a lawyer, but Jett Sundell was a damned good one and an equally good rancher. Along with those attributes, he was a devoted husband and father and one of the best friends Noah had.
“Hello, Jett.” He gestured toward a group of saddles the men used on a daily basis. “I was just going over our saddles. I’m afraid Reggie broke the tree in his today. He roped a bull and it jerked him and his horse over. The horn was literally buried in the ground. Now the whole damned thing is wiggling.”
A look of concern crossed Jett’s face. “Don’t worry about replacing the saddle. I want to know about Reggie and the horse.”
“They were lucky. I don’t know how, but both came out of the spill unscathed. Reg got a lot of ribbing from the men, but he took it all with a laugh. I called Denver over at the Silver Horn to see if they had any used saddles for sale. He tells me they have a few. Most are pretty worn, but at least it would be a hell of a lot better than spending a couple of thousand for a new one.”
Jett nodded. “I’ll be working the Horn tomorrow. While I’m there I’ll have a look at them. Rafe has all the using saddles for his men handmade, so whatever they have for sale will be good ones.” He walked over and took a seat on an overturned feed bucket. “Sassy’s been trying to locate some hay. I realize it’s only the first part of May and we should have grass for a while, but what with the drought, she’s concerned that by the time winter rolls around hay will be as scarce as hen’s teeth. The alfalfa crops over in Churchill County are already sold and they’re not even ready to cut yet.”
“She’s probably right. I figure the sooner we fill the barns, the better,” Noah agreed.
Bending forward, Jett rested his forearms against his knees and looked over at Noah. “She found some timothy for sale, but the stuff is way up in Idaho and baled from last year’s crop. I told her to keep searching. I don’t want the cost of shipping that far. Especially when it’s not fresh-cut.”
“Don’t worry,” Noah told him. “It’s early yet. Has she talked to Finn? The last I heard, her brother had his hay meadows producing. If he has surplus, he might sell what he doesn’t need.”
“You’re right. I’ll talk to Sassy about it tonight.” Chuckling, he added, “That is, we’ll talk after bath time, story reading and rocking Mason to sleep.”
Of Jett and Sassy’s three children, Mason was the baby of the bunch, born just before Thanksgiving last year. Noah was very fond of all three kids, but he couldn’t deny he was particularly attached to little Mason. The dark-haired baby rarely uttered a cry and whenever he saw Noah, he always reached for him.
Mason would probably be the closest thing he ever had to having a son. The hollow thought had Noah moving restlessly over to a wall where a slew of bridles neatly hung on rows of nails. Automatically, he picked up a shiny pair of bits and worked the moving parts back and forth.
“You didn’t see Bella around this afternoon, did you?” Jett asked.
Just hearing her name was like a punch in the gut and for a moment he gripped the bit so hard he very nearly bent the silver shank. “No. Why?”
“Just wondering,” Jett replied. “She wrapped up her work early this afternoon and said she was coming home. I was hoping you might have seen her out riding. She hasn’t been herself at all this week. I’ve been a bit worried about her.”
Noah stared unseeingly at the wall of bridles as the last few minutes of Bella’s visit to the cabin played over in his mind. Try as he might, he still didn’t know what had prompted him to kiss her. Then like a crazy man, he’d pulled her off Casper and once his mouth had landed on hers, he’d lost all control. But then so had she. The memory of her soft, eager lips moving against his, the way her body had practically wrapped itself around his, still had the power to make his groin ache with need.
“—riding the canyon. Noah? Hello? Are you with me?”
Jett’s voice finally penetrated his deep thoughts and with a mental curse at himself, he looked over at his friend.
“Sorry, Jett. I was thinking about something. What were you saying?”
Frowning at him, Jett rose from the makeshift seat. “There must be something in the air that’s causing late spring fever or some sort of mild dementia. Bella’s been going around the office in a fog. Now I can’t even keep your attention. Are you all right?”
No. There was nothing right about him, Noah wanted to say. But he couldn’t. How could he explain to Jett that he was overwhelmed with the need to make love to his sister? That every moment of the day, she was on his mind like a wide-awake dream? Not only that, his encounter with Bella was the very thing he’d desperately tried to avoid all these years he’d been on the J Bar S. It was crazy. And he had to put a stop to it before his job, his whole life here on the ranch, came to an end.
“Hell, yes, I’m all right. Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked gruffly.
Jett shrugged as he passed a keen gaze over Noah’s face. “You tell me. You’re not acting like your usual self. Have any of the guys been slacking or giving you a problem?”
“No. They’re all working hard and no tempers have flared. I’m just tired, that’s all. In fact, if there’s nothing else we need to talk over, I’m going to head home.”
“Go ahead. I figure Sassy’s probably waiting dinner for me anyway.” He moved closer and gave Noah an affectionate slap on the shoulder. “Don’t pay any mind to me, Noah. It’s just that I worry about you.”
Noah was momentarily taken aback. It was true that Jett considered him more of a close friend than an employee, but he’d never expressed this kind of concern before. “Worry? Why would you do that?”
A wry expression crossed Jett’s face. “Because I want you to be happy. And it’s obvious that you aren’t.”
Ignoring the hollow pain in the pit of his stomach, Noah let out a mocking snort. “Since when did you become a psychiatrist?”
“I don’t need a doctor’s degree to figure out that much.”
Noah hung the leather headstall back on its hook. “I guess the next thing you’re going to do is tell me I need to get out more. Find myself a woman and have a passel of kids.”
“Well, it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve told you that.”
“I wish to hell it would be your last.”
“A family would change your life—for the better,” Jett argued.
“Over my dead body,” Noah muttered, then giving his hat an unnecessary tug onto his forehead, he started toward the door. “I’m going home.”
“Noah, wait a minute.”
Reluctantly, Noah paused and turned to face the other man. “Jett, I really don’t want to get into this.”
Jett shook his head. “I’m not about to give you a lecture, Noah, or anything like that. I just wanted to say that we’ve been good friends for years now. And I’ve never tried to stick my nose in your private life. Past or present. But it’s always been clear to me that you’re running and hiding from something. I just hope that one of these days you’ll turn and face whatever it is that’s haunting you. Because until then you’ll just be going through the motions of living.”
His jaw tight, Noah muttered, “If that isn’t one of your lectures, I’d sure hate to hear one.”
Grinning now, Jett made a backhanded wave at the door. “Go on. That’s all I have to say about the matter. I’ll call you from the Horn tomorrow and let you know about the saddles.”
The sudden change of subject had Noah heaving out a breath of relief. “Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah. Have a good night, buddy.”
Outside, Noah crossed the ranch yard to where his truck was parked near the saddling pen. By now darkness was fast approaching, shrouding the barns and connecting corrals with deep shadows. The rest of the ranch hands had left more than an hour ago and, other than a handful of goats eating from a trough, the work area was quiet.
At any other time Noah would have lingered to relish the peacefulness, but not tonight. He wanted to get away from Jett and the sight of his happy home lit with warm lights. In a few minutes, when Jett walked through the door, the kids would fling themselves at him and Sassy would no doubt greet him with a kiss.
Noah didn’t know what that might feel like. To have a family shower him with such love. And he’d probably never know. Because he wasn’t ever going to put his trust, or his well-being, in the hands of a woman. No matter how sweet her kisses were.
The drive to Noah’s cabin took fifteen minutes, not because there were several miles between the two places, but rather the road was rough, making it slow traveling. As Noah maneuvered the truck over the rubboard surface, he tried once again to clear his mind of Bella, but she remained stubbornly fixed in his thoughts.
Jett had said he was worried about his sister and Noah couldn’t help but wonder if her behavior had anything to do with last Sunday and her visit to the cabin. Or was he putting too much importance on those hot kisses they’d shared?
Damn it, he’d not wanted to insult her or hurt her. God help him, she was the only woman he’d ever felt the need to cherish and protect. That’s why he’d said those cutting things to her, because she deserved much better than him. He’d thought his bluntness would show her he wasn’t a man who was worthy of her. She needed to understand that he was only a cowboy with nothing to offer her. Nothing at all. And yet, these past few days, he’d been overwhelmed with the longing to see her face again, to hear her voice and feel her soft lips yielding to his.

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