The Big Break
Cara Lockwood
Sometimes you just have to dive in…Since the tsunami nearly ended his career a year ago, extreme surfer Kai Brady has kept a dark secret: he's terrified to get back on his board. With everything he's worked for on the line, Kai needs a miracle…and a kick-ass trainer. That "miracle" is single mum Jun Lee.Jun Lee can see that the heartbreakingly gorgeous surfer who'd selflessly rescued her son when disaster struck now needs to be saved himself. But the attraction between them proves to be a force stronger than the ocean, and just as dangerous.
Sometimes you just have to dive in...
Since the tsunami nearly ended his career a year ago, extreme surfer Kai Brady has kept a dark secret: he’s terrified to get back on his board. With everything he’s worked for on the line, Kai needs a miracle...and a kick-ass trainer. That “miracle” is single mom Jun Lee.
Jun Lee can see that the heartbreakingly gorgeous surfer who’d selflessly rescued her son when disaster struck now needs to be saved himself. But the attraction between them proves to be a force stronger than the ocean, and just as dangerous.
“There is no way...”
Suddenly, Jun felt the hopelessness of the debt she owed Kai. Her son’s life might have cost him his surfing career.
“I’m sorry, Kai.” It wouldn’t make things right, but it was the only thing she could think of to say. “It’s...my fault. Ours. It’s...”
“No, it’s not. Don’t ever say that.” Anger still simmered in his voice.
Kai took three steps toward her, and suddenly his mouth was on hers. He wrapped her up in his arms and pressed her into his body. She opened her mouth to receive him and felt the rage and the passion all at once in his lips.
He tasted like the ocean, salty and wild.
She was kissing him back, powerless to do anything more.
Dear Reader (#ulink_577e0db4-b819-555a-93c1-8fcef0310756),
I became obsessed with big wave surfing after reading Susan Casey’s The Wave: In Pursuit of the Rogues, Freaks and Giants of the Ocean, which details how a group of fearless surfers decided to do the impossible: surf waves taller than ten- or even twenty-story buildings. One of the most dangerous breaks in the world exists in Hawaii. Called Jaws, the surfers regularly drown here as they search for the next, most extreme wave.
The Big Break focuses on Kai Brady, one of these extreme surfers, who’s trying to overcome a serious leg injury in order to make it back into his favorite sport. He’s haunted by the tsunami that injured him and struggles to get back into shape. It’s only when a strong-willed trainer named Jun and her adorable little boy, Po, come into his life that he starts to see that maybe surfing isn’t all there is to life. Maybe having a family, or ohana, as they say in Hawaiian, means even more than riding the perfect wave.
I love this story because Jun helps Kai see that healing can’t be forced, and the growing bond between them proves that the only thing more powerful than the ocean is the power of love.
I hope you enjoy this little trip to the Big Island of Hawaii, my absolute favorite place on earth.
Mahalo!
Cara
The Big Break
USA TODAY Bestselling Author
Cara Lockwood
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
CARA LOCKWOOD is a USA TODAY bestselling author of eleven novels, including I Do (But I Don’t), which was made into a Lifetime Original Movie, and Dixieland Sushi, which was loosely based on her experience growing up half-Japanese in a multiracial family in Texas. She’s also the author of the Bard Academy series for young adults. Her work has been translated into several languages. She’s currently divorced and lives with her two daughters near Chicago, where she is hard at work on her next novel.
Contents
Cover (#uc2e9dac7-afc8-51e9-998c-65b00ccbeda8)
Back Cover Text (#uc8801893-ac3a-51a1-b7dc-be778d6673dd)
Introduction (#ue4eeda5f-1179-513f-8c26-04c273b383a2)
Dear Reader (#u2d103ebf-357f-54a9-a129-7957bc93bbf7)
Title Page (#u3658eba7-b025-5f4f-98c6-34fc77d62715)
About the Author (#ud37ecb58-13c6-53f4-98fb-e948b4ed852f)
CHAPTER ONE (#ue4e053e8-0e64-5602-ae6c-d965b281b4b7)
CHAPTER TWO (#u39ac79ce-115e-5615-bb17-04e40c91c760)
CHAPTER THREE (#u7d09f864-d67e-54b3-8e78-3ff61daddf78)
CHAPTER FOUR (#u0a6638f8-358a-5668-b388-d9311de45ce5)
CHAPTER FIVE (#uf336515e-d761-5c1d-a260-136b17e5190b)
CHAPTER SIX (#uf6c5f4ea-7c3e-5162-88b7-74faa2df3d4c)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#ud3c3d2b5-ce94-54f8-8bee-373cba966b84)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FOURTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIFTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIXTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINETEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_1992e285-13e1-5f1a-bab9-bc6a54d5aec9)
JUN LEE TRIED to steady her nerves as she walked up to the front door of Kai Brady’s luxury beachside villa on the west coast of the Big Island. Bright Hawaiian sunshine warmed her bare shoulders as she breathed in the scent of hibiscus, which grew in bunches along his pristinely manicured yard. Every local on the island knew Kai Brady—millionaire, entrepreneur, world extreme-surfing champ. Even his massive koa door was intimidating, not to mention the mansion itself: an impressive two-story glass-and-concrete structure that loomed above her, looking expensive and enormous.
Jun tried not to feel a pang of envy. She couldn’t afford to rent a single room in a house like this, much less own one. Not so for Kai Brady, gorgeous and wealthy, who ranked three years running as Hawaii’s most eligible bachelor in the local magazine, beating out even legendary rock stars who had taken up residence on Kauai. It was no wonder she was nervous. But she wasn’t a groupie, she reminded herself. She was here on a mission.
She rang the bell and waited. Her sweaty hands squeezed the handle of the bag holding the thank-you gifts she’d brought: two of her homemade aromatherapy candles, which she hand-dipped, and some crayon drawings her four-year-old son, Po, had made for him. Then there was the gift certificate for a free session of Tai Chi, not that she thought he’d use it, but she didn’t have much money, and lessons she taught fell into the category of the meager things she could offer.
She considered, for a minute, leaving the package on his doorstep, but she thought the candles would melt in the afternoon sun. Besides, she had it in her mind that she wanted to thank him personally. He deserved at least that. That was why she hadn’t just sent the gifts in the mail.
She glanced at her reflection in the glass door. Jun kept her pale skin flawless by applying excessive sunscreen and avoiding the sun like the plague. Her mother, born in Beijing, had been insistent on that long before anyone really knew about the benefits of SPF. She’d come before her shift as a personal trainer at the big local gym, so she wore her fitness-instructor outfit of yoga capris, flip-flops and an athletic tank top, her dark hair up in a high ponytail. In the shadow of Kai’s villa, she felt suddenly underdressed. Then again, what was the proper attire to wear when thanking the man who had saved your son’s life?
This week marked the year anniversary of the tsunami that had nearly drowned Po. If it hadn’t been for Kai Brady, her precious boy would’ve died.
She’d never forget that morning. Jun had dropped Po off at day care as usual, but then, when she was already at work, on the tenth-floor gym of a high-rise, the earthquake hit, the tsunami came ashore, wrecking much of the western shoreline, and she got the worst news a parent could receive: her boy had never made it to the evacuation center. He was missing.
Then, after a horrible day of waiting, she got a message on her Facebook account: friends of Kai Brady were trying to reach her. Kai had broken his leg saving her son, and they were both in the hospital. Po, thankfully, had only scratches. Thanks to Kai.
Jun’s heart constricted anytime she thought of that miserable day: the horror and bone-chilling fear when the day-care center told her Po was missing. Jun lived for her boy. He was her whole world. She’d had him at age nineteen, barely older than a child herself. It didn’t matter to her that he had been an accident, the result of a brief relationship with a football player on the island for the Pro Bowl, a father who wanted nothing to do with Po.
Jun never fought Dante Henley, Po’s father, for support. She wasn’t going to beg anyone for anything. She didn’t like the idea of being indebted—to anyone, for any reason.
Which was why, as grateful as she was to Kai, she hated the feeling that she owed him. One way or another, she was going to find a way to pay that debt. Right now the only thing she could think to do was honor him on every anniversary of that tsunami.
She told herself her preoccupation with the famous surfer had nothing at all to do with the fact that he had the kind of sculpted body and bright white smile expected of a Calvin Klein underwear model. Or that he had enough cash from endorsements to live in a place like this.
She rang the bell once more and peeked in through the wall of glass windows along the front of the house. All she could see was tasteful granite, smooth-finished wood and gleaming floors. Was that a lanai out back? The wall-less living room was bigger than her whole condo! It overlooked a glistening mirrored pool that looked as though it cascaded into the ocean.
Jun blinked rapidly and tried not to press her nose against the glass. This might be the most beautiful house she’d ever seen.
She saw movement inside and held her breath. Was he going to answer the door? Or was he too rich for that? Did he have a butler? Her stomach lurched. She fought the urge to smooth down her ponytail, to double-check her tinted lip balm in the glass. She didn’t know why she cared. As a single mom, she didn’t have time to date. She barely had time to sleep.
She heard the door lock click and the knob turn and Kai stood there, shirtless, clad only in swim trunks.
For a second, all rational thought fled her head. The words she’d been about to utter simply dried up on her tongue. All she could think was...tall...broad...chest. Miles of smooth tanned skin, a wall of rippled, strongly defined muscles and not a single ounce of fat anywhere. She tried to swallow, but she couldn’t. Her mouth was parched. He was so...tall. So...big.
Big muscles. Big, big muscles.
She felt as if she’d devolved instantly into a cavewoman. Big muscles. Me like.
The last time she’d seen Kai, he’d been recovering in a hospital bed, fully clothed, his hurt leg in traction. He’d been tanned and attractive, sure, but he’d been clothed. That fierce six-pack had been safely tucked away under a white hospital gown.
She realized she was staring at his perfectly formed abs, her fingers itching to touch them. How did he get such...definition? She worked at a gym and she was stumped just looking at them.
Also, she noted, he was a lot taller than she remembered. A lot taller. Her eyes were level with his chest. And, wow, what a chest.
His full lips curled up in an amused smile. “May I...help you?”
Oh, yes. Yes, you can. She immediately felt her face grow bright tomato red. She normally wasn’t this forward, even in her own head. She didn’t go around panting after men like a teenager. What was wrong with her? As if she’d never seen a man without a shirt on before. Get a grip, Jun. All those meatheads at the gym should’ve long since inoculated her against the power of the male form. And yet...clearly they hadn’t.
“I...uh...” Why couldn’t her mind form words any longer? She felt as though she’d been hit on the head. Could a person get a concussion from close proximity to Hawaii’s hottest and richest bachelor? He probably got this all the time: women who lost the ability to speak in his presence.
“Yes?” Kai asked politely. With great effort, Jun pulled her attention away from his physique and tried to focus on his face.
She found that was a mistake. His chest might be distracting, but his face was worse. He was all chiseled perfection up there: dark, intelligent eyes, expressive yet playful eyebrows, sensual mouth and the kind of just-there stubble on his square jaw. He slumped his broad, muscled shoulders against the doorframe and crossed his arms, patiently waiting her out. She had to say something. Why wasn’t her mouth working?
“Hi...” Say your name. Your name. “Jun.”
“June? Like the month?”
This was going even worse than she’d feared.
“No. I’m Jun.” Heat flared up the back of her neck. “Uh... Jun Lee. I...”
Kai’s face showed zero recognition. She felt a little pinch in her chest. It had been a year since she’d seen him and she didn’t have Po with her, and yet, somehow, she’d been hoping he’d remember her.
“Maybe you’d like to come in? Get out of the sun?” he offered, looking concerned.
Yes, because clearly she was acting like a sunstroke victim.
She just bobbed her head and stepped inside the cool interior, into the masterful space of a living room leading out to a huge terrace, the massive lanai she’d seen from the window. Cushioned couches filled out the open space, and what appeared to be a small wooden footbridge led out over a koi pond and to the patio surrounding a glassy square pool. Beyond that, there lay miles and miles of pristine blue Pacific.
This didn’t help. She felt like hyperventilating. She didn’t know what was sexier: his house or his body.
“So, Jun, how can I help you?”
“We met last year?” Jun said, now distracted by his expensive furniture and what had to be an $18 million view. At least. Eighteen, maybe even twenty.
“Last year?” He scoffed a little, staring at her blankly. Then he studied her, his dark eyes giving her body a slow, appreciative sweep. “Uh...did we...?” He trailed off.
Jun realized with a start he thought they might have hooked up.
“Oh, no. I mean, no, we didn’t.” Now her neck felt as if it were on fire. Even her ears burned. Not that I wouldn’t go for that. Right here on this gleaming wood floor. “We met at the hospital.”
Kai’s face darkened, the playfulness instantly disappearing. “The hospital,” he repeated.
The tsunami had been life changing for her and Po, but for Kai, clearly it hadn’t made much of an impression at all. And, she understood with sharp disappointment, neither had she.
“I’m...uh...Po’s mom.”
Kai furrowed his brow as if trying to remember. “Po?”
“Kai?” A woman’s voice called from one of the hallways.
“Oh, uh...one minute.” Kai turned toward the voice, moving away from the rich koa-wood table in his living room.
“Kai? Everything okay?” The woman’s voice drifted in from a back room, and as Jun turned, she saw a tall blonde, wearing nothing but a man’s white button-down oxford with the bottom three buttons done up, long tanned legs on display and her ample, gravity-defying cleavage showing. Her mascara had seeped into dark rings around her eyes, but given her half-naked state, Jun doubted anybody else noticed. The woman clearly didn’t care about anyone seeing her either, as she moved closer to Kai and the door. Of course a mansion like this would have an accessory like that: a gorgeous model type ready to serve the owner’s every whim.
“Sorry, sweetheart, just give me a minute,” Kai said as the blonde wiggled her way in for a kiss, putting her hands on the man’s amazing chest, exactly where Jun would have, too, right in the sternum, her other hand trailing the ridges of his abs. Jun felt a hot flash of envy.
“But today’s our last day on the island!” the woman said, jutting her lower lip out in a pout. Great, a tourist, too! Figures.
“Babe?” Another woman emerged from somewhere in the house. Jun moved a little and saw a glimpse of stainless steel, granite and an ornate minitiled backsplash, all slate gray and white. This woman wore a bikini and held a fruity drink in her hand. “We’re out of ice.”
Jun nearly barked out a harsh laugh. Now it had gone from uncomfortable to downright ludicrous. She’d assumed someone as gorgeous and rich as Kai wouldn’t be single, but two women at once? Was it the Playboy Mansion in here?
It was the cold, brisk wake-up call she needed. She’d been in some kind of daze, drawn in by the power of Kai’s charisma, but now she snapped to attention. Every fiber in her all-organic, holistic-yoga-loving body rebelled against the scene. There was such a thing as too much sex. She’d done a whole paper on it for her graduate class last year on Qigong, the study of meditation and healing. You gave away too much of your Chi during sex, and then you didn’t have enough energy left over for anything else. Kai looked as if he barely had enough energy to hold open his front door. Obviously these women had spent all night draining the man of his...Chi.
She didn’t need any ancient Chinese alternative-medicine theories to tell her that Kai was on the wrong path. And that if she got involved with him, she’d be, too. The realization made her feel a little bit better somehow. You couldn’t get with him anyway, but even if you did, would you want to be one more woman through a revolving door?
The two women, apparently sensing competition, closed ranks around Kai. The other came up and slid her hand through the crook of his free arm. Both women eyed her with interest, trying to surmise if they needed to defend their territory. Jun felt like telling them not to bother.
“I’m going to go,” she said, wanting to get out of there, fast.
What did you expect? A red-carpet welcome? Why would Kai remember you, when he’s got beautiful women falling at his feet?
And why do you even care?
It hit her that for the past year she’d been idolizing the man a little bit, making him out to be the kind of selfless hero who only existed in novels and movies and comic books. Kai was just a man. The woman wearing only the shirt lazily grinned at her. Okay, a very flawed man.
Belatedly, she remembered she was still holding the thank-you gift. It seemed so childish now, so inconsequential. What had she been thinking? The man had everything he could possibly want.
“It’s been a year, but I just wanted to...uh, thank you. For Po.” She thrust the bag at him as if it were a hot potato and bolted for his front door. She’d been planning a whole speech, but at this point, she didn’t care about it at all. Kai stared at the bag, puzzled, as she nearly tripped over the two steps leading to the door. But she swung open the door and was outside, then hurried toward her old used hatchback, an ancient car that ran only by her sheer will and her mechanic cousin’s generosity. It looked like such an eyesore there at the edge of his beautiful lawn.
“Jun!” She turned at the sound of his voice to see him running after her, barefoot in his swim trunks. She tried not to notice his muscled calves work. “Wait.”
She hesitated, car keys in hand.
“How’s Po?” Now she could tell that he remembered. Po’s small scrapes and scratches from the tsunami had long since healed, but he still woke up screaming at night sometimes, haunted by nightmares. Then there was the fact that he hated water. He’d refused to swim ever since that day, not that she blamed him. But Jun looked at Kai, at his kind eyes, and then back at the frowning women waiting on his porch. She couldn’t tell him all that. Why would he care? He was having the time of his life apparently.
“He’s good,” she said, which was 80 percent truth. “He talks about you all the time. He really wanted to come see you...”
Kai glanced back and for a split second looked embarrassed. That was something.
“Oh, right. But I’m...well, not G-rated.” He grinned sheepishly, as if half-naked women were just the price he paid for being...him. Maybe that was true. “I’ll straighten out my act sometime. I just don’t know how.”
“You could change that,” Jun said sharply, more sharply than she’d intended. Kai looked surprised for a moment. She guessed he wasn’t used to people talking to him like that, but Jun had zero patience for self-pity, even the hint of it. Self-pity was just a selfish, useless waste of time. She thought about all the days she could’ve wallowed after Po’s dad left or later, when her mother died. But she hadn’t. She had things to do, a son to raise. Kai needed a good shake. Her tiger mom would’ve agreed if she’d still been alive.
“Well, I’ve got to go.” Jun turned the keys in her hand.
“Uh...wait. Maybe you could bring Po around sometime? I’d love to see him.”
“No,” she said before she could even think about it, imagining an orgy of alcohol and sex and half-naked tourists.
“No?” Kai looked taken aback by her flat refusal. She got the impression women didn’t tell him no very often. Which was why two of them were standing near his front door. “Just no? Come on, at least pretend to consider it!”
Usually, men were put off by her bluntness. She’d rarely had one take rejection so lightheartedly before.
Kai flashed his bright white smile, radiating warmth from his brown eyes, the ones she’d thought about often in the past year. He reached out and touched her arm, and the electricity nearly bowled her straight over. For the briefest of seconds, she found herself leaning into him. She glanced down at his hand and wondered what it would feel like on the small of her back, pulling her in for a kiss. She glanced up and found him looking at her, longer than he ought to, and all she wanted to do was sink into those eyes.
That was before Jun’s brain kicked in again. What was she doing? Pining over a man who plainly had more women in his life than he could handle? She wasn’t going to throw herself on top of the pile. She wasn’t a maiden who planned to sacrifice herself to the volcano.
“I mean, it’s not a good idea.” Po already hero-worshipped Kai. He didn’t need to learn the fine art of being a heavily partying bachelor at age four.
Kai looked at her intently. It was as if he could sense her inner conflict, as if he knew she was struggling to keep control, as if by grasping her arm, he could feel her pulse tick up.
“Kai!” called one of the women from his front stoop. “Kai, we’re hungry!”
“You’d better go,” Jun managed.
“Jun, wait...” But Jun ducked into her car and turned over the ignition. She drove off, not looking back.
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_39eff378-aae9-5b0c-8628-b2e29ffd47df)
KAI SAT IN his manager’s office waiting room in Kona, nursing the headache that only seemed to get worse the longer the day went. He’d had a hell of a time extricating himself from the two tourists who seemed to have wanted to move in with him overnight. Thank God they’d had a flight to catch, or they might still have been lounging around his pool, drinking his booze and eating his food. He was a man who appreciated women, but he vowed, once more, to stop. He couldn’t keep falling into bed with strangers. Well, technically, he could. It was a fine way to spend a Saturday. Or hell, a Tuesday. But even he knew they were just a quick fix, a way of distracting himself from his real problems. Chasing women meant he didn’t have to chase waves. He didn’t need a psychologist to tell him he was deep into avoidance.
He frowned, thinking about his damn knee. He flexed it, wondering whether it would ever be 100 percent again. The World Big Wave Surf Championship was coming up soon. He was nowhere near ready, and he knew it, and that thought scared the hell out of him.
The damn tsunami.
Everything had been fine before the wave tore through half the island and broke his leg in three places and completely dislocated his knee. Doctors told him he was healed, but he didn’t feel healed. His knee felt as if it was going to slip out of place. The ligaments like loose rubber bands. It could’ve been worse. He knew that. And he was glad he’d gotten the broken leg and not Po.
Jun and Po.
He had almost forgotten about them. He’d been so fixated on the tsunami and his own leg that his thoughts had crowded out little Po. In some ways, the boy was impossible to forget. Kai couldn’t look at his battered knee and the long ugly scar that ran the length of his thigh without thinking about the dreadful day, about being washed out with Po, about barely surviving. But Kai didn’t look at the day the same way Jun did. He didn’t know why Jun was trying to thank him. She kept sending him food all through that first month and then the second, too. Kai had thought maybe she’d forgotten him at last, but then she showed up on the anniversary of the damn thing. He really wished she’d stop thanking him.
He hadn’t done anything. He’d simply stayed with the boy. In the end, it had been just dumb luck they’d not both been killed. He’d thought countless times, what might have happened if he hadn’t gone to the day care that day to check on his cousin? If he’d simply headed straight to higher ground?
He remembered Po, the small dark-haired boy, recalled that the two of them had huddled in the second story of the day care before the first wave hit. He’d obviously been scared, but he’d worked so hard to be brave. Just three then, barely older than a toddler, he’d swum for his life and made it. After the wave had wrecked half of the building and torn them from it, he’d lain crippled in the flood with Po, who was magically unharmed. He’d done nothing special then but pray.
But he couldn’t convince Jun of that. Jun, with those serious dark eyes and that delicate heart-shaped face. He’d forgotten how striking she was, how pretty. His thoughts wandered where they shouldn’t, and he felt sleazy for even wondering what her petite, toned body might look like naked in his bed. She was a mother, for goodness’ sake.
There you go again, avoiding the real problem. It was easy to avoid problems, he thought, when he had a pretty face to think about.
Kai reached into his pocket and pulled out the small business card Jun had slipped into his gift bag. It read “Jun Lee, personal trainer, life coach. Live life organically.”
She must be one of those New Age nuts, the kind that ate only granola and rabbit-pellet food. Kai had never been in that camp. He had always been a barbecue-rib kind of guy. He flipped the card over and saw the “Good for One Free Tai Chi Class” scrawled on the back. He thought that was something only old people did, but Jun wasn’t old. At least it wasn’t yoga. Kai couldn’t see himself doing yoga. But Tai Chi, maybe he’d try it.
Or maybe he’d just call her and ask her out for a drink.
Then he remembered the look of complete horror when he’d asked her if he could see Po, how quickly she’d squealed out of his driveway. Maybe she had a boyfriend. Po’s dad, maybe?
Or maybe she’s just not interested.
Somehow, the thought electrified him just a little. It had been weeks since he’d found any girl a real challenge. He couldn’t remember the last time a woman flat out told him no.
He held the card between his two fingers, thinking about her lean, athletic body. She was sexy, no doubt, but there was something else that intrigued him about Jun Lee.
You could change that. She’d seemed so sure he could turn around the disaster his life had become, as if she had some magic bullet to solve all his problems. He knew she couldn’t, that it was probably just talk, and yet the way she’d said it, with unwavering conviction, got him wondering. Could he?
He glanced at her card again and then nearly laughed out loud. What was he thinking? The Tai Chi instructor didn’t have the answers. It was just his little head doing all the thinking again. It was just about him being attracted to the woman, nothing more.
Besides, she was far too serious for him, he reasoned. A grown-up. That was what came to mind when he thought of Jun Lee. The exact opposite of the tourists he’d been having fun with lately. They never took anything too seriously, which was fine by Kai. Right now taking anything seriously just seemed like a waste of effort. After all, in the end, what was the point? You get all serious and the next thing you know, a freak national disaster and a freight train of water takes away everything you cared about.
The office door swung open and Kirk Cody, Kai’s manager—tall, blond and excessively tanned from spending too much time on the beach—leaned out. He wore his trademark Tommy Bahama gear from head to toe. “Sorry about that, Kai! You ready?” Kai walked in and was quickly surrounded by pictures of himself: him endorsing all kinds of products; him on a Wheaties box; him launching his clothing company nearly two years ago.
Kai had made Kirk rich, but Kirk had done the same for Kai. Kai never thought in marketing terms. He just liked to surf. When Kai was at the top of his surfing game, the relationship worked perfectly. These days, however, Kai felt as though it was only a matter of time before Kirk found out his knee hadn’t healed right. Then the endorsement deals would disappear overnight.
Hanging above Kirk’s desk was a giant photo of Kai surfing a stomach-churning nearly forty-five-foot wave at Mavericks, California, the break so heinous even some pro surfers steered clear of it. Kai thought about his performance earlier that week on a wave not even a fifth that size. He’d made his fortune risking it all on big waves, and now he couldn’t even stand upright on five measly feet.
“How are you, man?” Kirk asked Kai, who simply shrugged.
“Fine, I guess,” he said, studying the old picture on the wall.
A quarter Hawaiian, a quarter Japanese and half Irish, Kai had always felt as if he had the pulse of the water. All of his ancestors came from one island or another, and that brought with it a healthy respect for the sea. But lately, it felt as though he’d simply lost his gift.
A knock at Kirk’s office door drew Kai’s attention. He realized with a start that Bret Jon stood there. Bret was Kai’s tow partner, or had been, before the tsunami. Bret was the one who’d driven the Jet Ski that took him out to the big waves, the seventy-footers that no one could physically paddle to. Bret was also the one who had risked his life to go in and get him whenever Kai wiped out.
Bret glanced at Kai and frowned.
“You didn’t tell me he would be here,” Bret said. “You asked me to come here to talk about a new job. Now I see why you didn’t want to do it on the phone.”
He had good reason to be angry. Kai couldn’t look his once-good friend in the eye. He lived on Maui, so what was he doing here?
“Maybe I ought to go,” Kai said, standing.
“Both of you—sit. You used to be the best team in big-wave surfing, but now you’re not speaking.” Kirk looked back and forth between the two men, who weren’t saying anything. “You guys have been doing this for more than fifteen years. Come on, you and Laird Hamilton, Buzzy Kerbox, Sandra Chevally...you invented this sport. You guys found a way to surf waves that everyone else said were impossible to surf. Tell me why you girls are fighting so we can put this behind us.” Kirk leaned back in his chair.
Bret, who was built like a linebacker, all broad, hefty muscle across his back, stared a hole through Kai. “He knows why.”
“Bret, I said I’m sorry.” Kai moved toward his old partner, but Bret backed away, hands up.
“I don’t want your apology, man.” Bret’s eyes had gone cold and flat. “You can keep that, along with your endorsements and your clothing line. Just...stay away from Jaws. I told you once.”
“Bret, come on, man,” Kirk pleaded. “Let’s sit down and talk about this. The Big Wave Championship is coming up. You and Kai, you’re like gold.”
“Keep your gold,” Bret muttered, shaking his head. Kai wished he could say the right thing, but no matter how often he apologized, he could never make it right. He knew it and Bret did, too.
He felt a pang. He remembered, years ago, back when only a few crazy souls would even attempt a ninety-foot break, and yet there the two of them had been, taking turns towing each other into waves that should’ve killed them. They’d learned as they went, instincts and grit the only things keeping him upright and alive, out of the mouth of the beast. Together they’d been brave or crazy or both. They’d been pioneers. And now here they were, barely speaking.
“Look, Kirk, nothing personal, but I’m done talking.” In seconds, Bret had stalked out of the office. Kai watched him go, feeling as if a chapter in his life was closing, yet he wasn’t done reading it yet.
Kirk let out a long sigh. “You going to tell me what’s going on there?”
Kai shook his head. “Not my story to tell.” If Bret hadn’t told him the details, then Kai wouldn’t.
“You’ve got a new tower? Someone you can trust?”
“I’m working on it,” Kai lied. He wasn’t. Why recruit a tow partner when his knee was 50 percent at best?
“You’d better work fast.”
“I know.” Kai shrugged, thinking about his wipeout earlier in the week. He hadn’t been on his board since. In fact, the very thought of getting out there again made his stomach buzz with nerves, as if he’d drunk too much of the Kona coffee served at his sister’s café.
Kirk studied him a minute. “Knee okay?”
“Still stiff,” Kai admitted, avoiding all eye contact, as if the truth would be evident on his face. Kirk nodded, looking somber, and then leaned forward, clasping his hands together on his desk.
“Gretchen says you’re blowing off training.”
Gretchen was Kai’s personal trainer, but even he had to admit he hadn’t been very trainable lately. Gretchen had told him to cut back on the bar life, but there wasn’t anything scarier than not being able to surf again except dealing with that sober.
“You gonna be ready?”
Kai met Kirk’s gaze and for a split second considered spilling his guts and admitting everything. I’m not going to be ready. I might never be ready again.
“I’m gonna try,” Kai said. He thought it was safely the truth, but as soon as the words were out of his mouth, he wasn’t sure. Was he trying?
“The new surfboards are ready to go, but we need some promo shots,” Kirk said, leaning back in his chair. Pure Kona sunshine filtered in from the big bay window behind his desk. “Maybe you on a big practice wave? Maybe on Jaws? You know, after you find a new tow guy.”
“Yeah, sure. Sometime.” No way. Never.
“How about next week? Photographer has openings a week from Sunday.”
“Can’t do it.” Kai nearly clipped off the end of Kirk’s sentence in his haste to decline. The idea of a photographer or anyone else recording one of his recent surfing disasters filled him with white-hot embarrassment. He glanced at his fine form in the oversize photo above Kirk’s desk. He was a lifetime away from the Kai Brady of two years ago.
“Kai, this has to be done.”
“I know.” Kai eyed Kirk, who didn’t blink as he crossed his arms across his chest.
“Fine.” Kirk sighed, frustrated. “You’re going to have to talk to me sometime about what’s going on with you.”
“Nothing’s going on with me.” Nothing that can be fixed by talking about it. Kai stood, and even in that brief motion, he felt the loosening creak of his right knee. He didn’t care what the orthopedic surgeon said—those tendons and bone just hadn’t healed right. He nearly stumbled a little but righted himself in time. “Is that all, Kirk?”
“Need your signature on this,” Kirk said, sliding contracts his way. “Just a renewal for the Mountain Dew endorsement. Oh, and Todd Kolkot wants to talk to you. Says he needs to get your approval on the new fall line.”
Kai bent down and signed his name with a flourish, all the while wondering how fast Mountain Dew would have dropped him if they’d seen him surf this week. Kai turned to go.
“One more thing, Kai. Somebody from Time magazine keeps calling. They’re doing an anniversary piece on the tsunami, you know, ‘The Big Island a Year Later,’ and wanted to interview you for it.”
“No,” Kai said. He’d woken up in a cold sweat from nightmares about reporters asking him questions about how well he was surfing, how his knee was, all of which would be part of any interview, no matter how it started. Besides, he didn’t like talking about the tsunami. Not just because of his knee, but because of a whole host of other reasons, namely that people he knew had lost their lives that day.
“But it would be good for your brand. You know no publicity is...”
“I said no.”
“Okay, okay!” Kirk’s hands went up in a gesture of surrender. “I know you don’t like to do interviews about the tsunami, but at some point, you’re going to have to talk about it.”
“People died that day. I just got my leg broken. So what?” Might as well have died, though. Self-pity began to creep in again and he tried to shoo the thoughts out of his head, but they had sticky, gooey edges. No matter how hard he pushed them out, some gunky residue always remained behind.
“You’re famous. You’re a hero. You can inspire people.”
At this, Kai barked a caustic laugh. “I’m no hero.” Last night he’d been so drunk he barely remembered what had happened between him and the two tourists. He woke up in bed with a new girl nearly every weekend. He hardly knew if he was coming or going. He was the farthest thing from a hero.
“Course you are. There’s that little boy you saved.”
“I didn’t save him. We were both just lucky.”
Kirk rolled his eyes. “Fine. Then what about all those amateur surfers at Jaws? How many did you pull out of the rocks?” Kirk stared at him. Kai shrugged. “Two? Four? More than that?”
“They had no business being out there in the first place,” Kai said. “I only saved them so I could chew them out and tell them to find another hobby. Doesn’t make me heroic.”
“It doesn’t matter. It only matters if people think you are.” There was the Kirk Kai remembered, the one always looking for the angle and hardly caring about the truth. It was this side of the business, the marketing whatever sells, that just rubbed Kai the wrong way.
“Why not make that the next shirt slogan?” Kai said, a bit of bitterness creeping into his voice.
Kirk laughed. “We should, bro. We totally should.” He leaned forward, his antique wooden desk chair creaking. “By the way, that gossip columnist called again for a quote or confirmation. Said something about you and some wild escapade with two tourists. They have a picture. Looks like you.”
Kai’s stomach lurched. He didn’t want to know what picture they could’ve gotten ahold of.
Kirk tapped his tablet and then handed it to Kai. There he was, sitting in his hot tub with the two women he’d just dropped off at the airport. They were both topless, but the picture was pixelated. One of the women was kissing his face and the other was taking a selfie. Kai groaned. If his aunt Kaimana saw this, he’d be in for another lecture.
“Yeah, that’s me, but it’s not as bad as it looks.”
Kirk threw his head back and laughed. “Bad? Man, I’d kill to be you for one weekend.” The wedding ring flashed on Kirk’s hand as he took the signed contracts from his desk and tucked them into a file.
“It’s not as fun as you think it would be,” Kai said, remembering the awkward goodbyes that afternoon after he dropped the tourists at the airport. They hadn’t even gotten out of sight before they’d started posting to Instagram, clearly.
“As long as you can train and do this. You sure you can?”
“Yeah, of course.” Such a lie.
* * *
SEEING BRET AGAIN had made Kai itch to get out on the surf. He had something to prove. In the surf just beyond his beach house the next day, he started paddling. The wind was low, the waves gentle. It would be an ideal time to try to test his knee.
Kai paddled hard against the sparkling Pacific surf as he spied the perfect wave rolling in. He redoubled his efforts, sea spray hitting his face as the early-morning light glinted off the tip of his prototype surfboard. Kirk would be happy to see him on it, at least. Kahaluu Beach stretched out behind him, and the crystal-blue water was clear and relatively calm, the waves easy for even a beginner to handle. A few tourists were out, trying out their rental boards for the first time.
Kai still thought his board looked too new and flashy. If he’d been on one of the serious breaks, the locals would’ve ribbed him for it, and they’d have been right. Neon colors and cool graphics didn’t make you a skilled surfer. Sweat and blood did.
Maybe he’d forgotten that. He admitted loving the spotlight, the interviews on ESPN, the legions of followers online. Who wouldn’t enjoy dating the models and actresses who gravitated toward his rising star? He hadn’t turned them away. He’d passed the millions mark before he turned thirty. Since then, it had just been about building his empire of shirts, boards and even waterproof video cameras small enough to fit in your palm.
Of course, that was all before the tsunami.
Ocean spray hit his forehead and he shook his head to clear his eyes so he could focus on the wave. He couldn’t dwell on the past. Surfing was all about living in the moment.
He flexed his knee. It felt strong. Stronger than it had in weeks. Good. He was going to crush it today.
Is that why you’re hiding out on a tourist beach? Is that why you’re riding these beginner waves, barely six feet? You used to say anything below twenty wasn’t worth your time.
A tingle of nerves pricked his stomach as he tried to shake off the uncertainty.
He was the three-time reigning big-wave champion. He’d survived some of the most dangerous breaks in the world. He’d surfed waves taller than an eight-story building.
That was before the ocean shredded your leg and left you for dead.
Kai shut his eyes against the memory.
Now was not the time for doubt. He knew it, and yet he couldn’t shake the ghosts of uncertainty. He might never be good again, and he damn well knew it.
But now he was out of time. The wave was here. He’d have to attempt it or wait for the next one. He tried to blank out his mind, rely on muscle memory as the wave rolled toward him and he popped up on his board, the warm sun on his back, cool air whipping across his chest. For a shining split second, he believed he was going to do it. He felt the rush of the adrenaline as he struggled for a toe hold and a quick glance around told him nothing in the world could be as beautiful in life as this: glittering ocean beneath his board, shoreline in the distance dotted with gorgeous palm trees, like a line of hula dancers swaying in the tropical breeze.
Surfing was his first, and only, passion: he craved the rush of wind through his hair and the ocean spray on his face like a junkie needing a hit.
He was going to do it. He was upright, arms out for balance, both feet on the board.
And then something about the wave, the merciless engine of it, challenged him a bit too hard, bucked him ruthlessly, as if the water wanted him to fail. As if the ocean already knew what he was afraid to admit: he wasn’t a world-class surfer; he was just the empty shell of an imposter, nothing more than a has-been.
He adjusted, trying to find his balance, but out of the blue, a sharp pain shot up his knee.
No.
He struggled to keep upright, but his knee buckled like a rusty hinge collapsing under the strain, and he fell backward into the surf, and suddenly, the moment of bliss was replaced by a moment of panic. The wave held him down, punishing him, as his leg flailed, ankle still attached to his board. The shiny neon board slid onward, dragging him beneath it under a dangerous weight of water.
And once more, the fear suffocated him: he was back in the tsunami wave, powerless against the angry force of nature. He again felt the paralyzing terror: I’m going to die.
Panic, cold and hard, drove down his spine.
He struggled wildly to breach the surface, but tangled in the force of the wave, he felt helpless, as the expensive, shining new fiberglass board broke free of his ankle tether and shot across the wave.
The water is going to kill me. The thing I love most in the world is going to kill me.
He floundered, and then the wave released him, breaking across the reef, and he came up, gasping, sucking in big gulps of air.
Alive, I’m alive. And then he realized he wasn’t back in the tsunami. The huge wave that had killed so many people and destroyed so many homes was long gone. Yet the wave, being under, had brought him right back to the worst day of his life.
He coughed as salt water stung the inside of his nose and ran down his throat, the brine threatening to choke him.
He saw his board floating out to sea and let it go, too shaken to fish it out of the surf. He needed to get to land, and he swam, heart thudding as he made it to the sand. He rolled up on shore out of breath, feeling as if he’d just run a marathon with a gorilla on his back.
His knee had failed him—again.
The disappointment welled up in him. Months of rehab, and his knee wasn’t anywhere close to where it needed to be if he was ever going to surf seriously again. Hot tears of frustration burned the backs of his eyelids but he refused to let them fall. He was on all fours in the hot, wet sand and he felt like punching the ground but didn’t.
It wasn’t just his body that had disappointed him but his mind. He was afraid in a way he’d never been before. His whole life he’d been fearless, and now a simple dump off the board and he felt as though the ocean would kill him. He didn’t want to go back out there. Wouldn’t. Not today. Maybe not ever.
At the heart of it, he was a coward, plain and simple.
The wave knew it, too. That was why it had bucked him. It was the ocean schooling him for being a fool. He managed to drag himself back to his house, not proud of himself for leaving his broken board to the surf but too shaken to do much of anything else. He vowed to go look for it later, once he’d gotten his breathing under control. He felt as if he was going to have a heart attack, the panic pressing against his chest like a two-ton weight.
Was he really done with surfing at age thirty-three? Was it really all over?
When he got to his porch, he saw Gretchen waiting for him there, sitting on one of his patio chairs, clipboard in her lap, looking pissed.
Training! He’d forgotten entirely that it was a training day, that Gretchen would be working him on weights today. Everything about the tightness in her shoulders told him she was furious. He almost turned around and left, but she’d seen him, and he knew that would just make her angrier. Sooner or later, he’d have to take his medicine, and later would just be worse.
He trudged to the open patio, still dripping wet, his hands still shaking from nerves.
“You’re late,” she said, and he could feel her glare even through her mirrored sunglasses.
“Gretchen, I am so sorry. I was surfing and lost track of time...”
“What did I say about being late?” She cut him off, standing. Her short dark hair hung nicely around her face, but it was her muscled body that everyone noticed first. It was no wonder she was the most sought-after personal trainer on the island and had a library of exercise videos and apps under her belt. She got results. She knew how to push him in all the right ways.
Except recently.
In the past year, her go-for-broke, hit-the-weights-harder approach just hadn’t been working for him. The more she yelled, the less he wanted to do anything.
But the fact that Gretchen wasn’t yelling at him now only made him nervous. That she was suddenly so calm made him realize the situation was far worse than he’d thought. She gestured with her hand and her diamond wedding band caught the light and sparkled like fire. Happily married to one of the best tour-boat captains on the island, she was off-limits. Kai liked that their relationship had been strictly professional. Gretchen was one of the few women in his life who didn’t feel complicated.
“You said I couldn’t be late anymore or skip sessions.”
“Or?”
Kai swallowed. “Or you’d quit.” Panic rose in his throat. First Bret had quit on him. Now Gretchen, too? Everyone’s abandoning me because they know I’m finished.
“Exactly.” She ripped off the page on the top of the clipboard. “My official letter of resignation, effective now.”
He glanced at the handwritten note, stunned.
“Gretch, you can’t quit! I need you. I...” She’d been with him for almost all of his surfing career. As his star had risen, so had hers. They made a nearly unstoppable team. He’d never worked with anyone else before and hadn’t even considered the possibility.
Gretchen raised her chin, determined. He knew that look, and it was the one where she usually told him he needed to run five more miles and do an extra round of strength training.
“I can quit and I am. I told you to cut out the partying and staying out late. You didn’t. I told you to eat right. You didn’t. I told you to show up at training sessions, and you haven’t. It’s not me who’s quitting. It’s you.”
Kai knew she was right.
“But I pay you anyway,” Kai pointed out. “And I can pay you more. Name your price.”
“It’s not about the money.” Gretchen shook her head, a look of pity washing over her face. “I’ve got my professional pride, Kai. You’re in some kind of really dark place, and you need to find a way out of it. Maybe me quitting will be the inspiration you need to figure out what’s wrong and do something about it. I don’t know, but what I do know is that I can’t help you. Not until you get your head right.”
“Gretchen, give me one more chance. I promise, I—”
“You promised last week. No, it’s done. I’m done. I’m sorry, Kai.”
“But the surfing competition is in a matter of months! Who am I going to find on this kind of short notice?”
“Maybe some of your friends can help you?” Gretchen held up her smartphone and showed him the picture of him drinking in the hot tub. That damn picture was going to be the death of him. He suddenly wished for a massive internet malfunction, or at least just some strange outage that affected only social media sites.
“That’s not as bad as it looks.” That was the second time in as many days that he’d said that, but it didn’t make it true. “Look, I know I’m a mess, but...”
“I can’t do anything for you, Kai. You’ve got to change that.”
Now she sounded like Jun.
“Gretchen, please...”
“Uh-uh. Kai. That’s strike three, and I told you, after strike three, you’re out. I don’t mess around.”
There’d be no changing her mind. Kai was officially screwed, and not in the way that involved tourists and hot tubs.
What am I going to do now?
On his patio, he saw Jun’s gift bag and next to it, on the tabletop, her card: “Good for One Free Tai Chi Class.” He saw a list of scheduled classes on the back, one of which was being held this afternoon.
It’s not like I have anything else going on. He went inside to dry off and get dressed.
CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_a482a855-83f8-57ef-93dd-3d05c897e953)
JUN WAS PACKING up her gym bag, trying very hard not to think about Kai Brady. She’d been trying for nearly an hour, but it wasn’t any use. She’d made the mistake of searching for him online and found a photo of him making out with at least one of the women she’d seen at his house. That wasn’t the only photo, either. It seemed that Kai made a point of posing with attractive women whenever he could. She didn’t know why she was surprised. He was handsome, rich and a bona fide celebrity.
All she could think about were the women at his place, clearly in the mood for whatever threesome party he was throwing. She shouldn’t care, but for some reason it bothered her. She’d spent a year thinking Kai was brave and selfless.
She didn’t like the conflicting images of Kai she now held in her mind. It was much easier when she just thought of him as a nice-guy hero. Or maybe that’s just because you’re jealous. Wish you were in the hot tub with him, Jun?
“Earth to Jun. Come in, Jun.” This was Tim Reese, the owner of Island Fit and her boss. He used to be an Olympic athlete and had won a silver medal in some track-and-field event. Now he was the charismatic bodybuilder who inspired people to come in his gym just by standing near the window up front.
“Sorry, Tim. I wasn’t listening.”
“I gathered that. I was asking if you could pull a double shift Friday. Jenna bailed on me and Rich’s still on vacation, so that means just me, unless you save me.”
Jun hesitated. It would mean paying extra for day care or calling in a babysitting favor from her sister, which would cost her in a different way. Then again, the overtime pay could always come in handy. Po had outgrown his clothes, again.
Tim put his hand on her shoulder and let it linger there. Jun stepped out of the touch automatically, putting space between her and her boss. Sometimes Jun wondered if Tim had a crush on her or if he was just the touchy-feely type. Either way, she felt a smidgen uncomfortable when he closed in on her personal space. But Tim offered her a decent job, a steady one, and she spent a good deal of time convincing herself it was all in her head.
“Hey, if it’s a big deal, I mean, don’t worry about it...” Tim worked hard to backpedal. He put his hands up and backed away, and it was times like these she thought, I’m just imagining that he’s coming on to me.
“Let me see if I can get someone to watch Po,” she said. “If I can, I’ll do it.”
“Great.” Tim’s eyes lit up in a way that was a little bit too excited. Nope. Definitely not imagining it. Jun definitely did not feel the same way about Tim. Not that he wasn’t a nice guy, but Jun wasn’t interested in dating or adding complications in her life right now. She’d never yet met a man who was okay with Po being her first priority.
“I’ve, uh, got to head out.” Jun finished stuffing her bag and zipped it closed, itching to get some distance from Tim. She had only two hours of day care left and thirty minutes until her Tai Chi class on the beach.
“See you Friday,” Tim called as she walked out the door. Jun waved, but thankfully, her phone rang, so she could ignore Tim’s intense blue stare.
She glanced down at the screen and saw the number of Po’s day care. Instantly, her heart slid into her throat. What had happened now? Every time she saw Day Care on her caller ID, she felt as if she were right back in that moment a year ago when she had been told by a crying teacher that somehow they’d lost Po.
She took a deep breath, shoring herself up for bad news, and answered.
“Hello?”
“Ms. Lee,” said a crisp voice on the other end of the line. The director of the day care, Penelope Anne.
“Mrs. Anne, what’s wrong?”
“I’m afraid you’re going to have to pick up your son.”
“Is he sick?” Jun’s heart thudded. Sick, or worse, hurt? He always played rough on the playground, swinging his little body dangerously off the monkey bars. Jun fumbled in her bag for her car keys. They jangled in her hand as she searched for the right one. Her car was so ancient it didn’t have automatic locks.
“No, no. He’s fine. I’m afraid he’s...” Mrs. Anne swallowed “...bitten his teacher.”
Jun froze, her key in her door.
“Oh, no.” Jun’s stomach lurched. “Not again.” White-hot embarrassment flared up her neck. She’d talked with Po often about biting, but nothing seemed to get through. Last week he’d bitten a boy who’d taken his crayon, and the week before, he’d bitten a girl who’d spilled water on him, and now this. She’d thought it was just a phase, something he’d grow out of, but now she was starting to wonder if it was related to the nightmares and the stress and everything else left over from the tsunami. “I am so very sorry. Is the teacher okay?”
“Just bruised, but I’m afraid you’ll have to come get Po. And we’ll need to talk.”
Jun didn’t like the sound of that. She’d already been warned twice before: third bite and he’s out. She swung herself into the front seat and flew to the day care, nearly running a red light, she felt so flustered.
Minutes later, she was sitting in Mrs. Anne’s tidy office, with the single computer on her desk and the row of children’s artwork pinned to a clothesline running the length of the window behind her. Po was still in his day-care room, playing with big foam blocks, building some kind of castle. She’d sneaked a look through the slit of a window in the door on her way by.
“Ms. Lee, we’ve been very understanding about all the trauma Po has suffered in the last year, and we understand it’s a process. Many of our children have been affected by that horrible day, but I’m afraid we haven’t seen much progress with Po. And, as I don’t need to remind you, this is the third incident in the month, and we have certain policies at Pacific Day Care.”
Jun’s throat went dry. “I’ve been working with him, Mrs. Anne. We’ve been reading the book you lent us, Teeth Are Not for Biting.”
“I’m sorry. I’m afraid, beginning tomorrow, you’re going to have to find new care for Po.”
It was one of the worst things a working single mom could hear. “But the other day-care centers are all full. Before we settled here, we were even on a wait list!” It was true. The tsunami had wiped out so many businesses on the west side of the island, and while some were still rebuilding, like their old day care, others had decided not to rebuild at all.
“I’m sorry, Ms. Lee. We’ve done what we can, but we have to think of the other children.” A soft knock came at the door.
“Come in,” the director called, and the door creaked open as Po’s teacher led him in. Just four, yet he seemed to know he was in trouble and he came sheepishly to his mother’s side, dark-haired head hung in shame.
Jun’s heart thumped as she looked at him. For that second, she thought the expression on his face was exactly hers. Of course, strangers in the supermarket felt differently. Po’s cocoa-colored skin was several shades darker than her own, a trait from his father, but he had her eyes and heart-shaped face. She saw the similarities clear as day, but others didn’t. She supposed it was a mother’s eye.
“I’m sorry, Ms. Lee,” Mrs. Anne said in a tone that didn’t sound very much as if she were sorry.
Jun stood, realizing it was pointless to stay. “Thank you, Mrs. Anne.” She took her son firmly by the hand and led him out. Once outside the school, she turned and kneeled by Po on the sidewalk.
“How many times have we talked about biting? Teeth are not for biting.” Jun grabbed her boy’s arms and squeezed. Anger bubbled up in her, as it did anytime he acted out.
Po shrugged, eyes down, kicking his small Spider-Man tennis shoe into the ground. He was wearing his favorite Spider-Man T-shirt, faded from too many washings and already beginning to be too short at the waist. But Po wouldn’t hear of parting with it. He’d wear it every day if she’d let him.
“Why did you bite the teacher?”
“She’s mean,” Po said, crossing his arms.
“Po, I’m sure she’s not mean.”
“She was going to throw me in the pool. I told her, I don’t want to!” Po shrugged again.
Jun sighed and dropped her head in defeat. The day care had a small pool in the back where they taught kids how to swim. Po hadn’t wanted to go near any water since the tsunami, not that Jun blamed him. It wasn’t surprising he’d lashed out at a teacher trying to push him in.
“Why didn’t the teacher let you sit on the edge? Just put your feet in?” Anger boiled in Jun’s chest. What were those teachers doing to her son?
“She said I’d done that enough.” Po shrugged. “She said I needed to join the class. So she picked me up and took me to the diving board and was gonna throw me. So I...” Po hung his head, not finishing. Jun could fill in the rest.
“They should not have done that. They were wrong.” Of course, Mrs. Anne hadn’t mentioned that in the exit interview.
She wanted to march back into the day care and ask them what they were doing trying to force a boy petrified of the water into the deep end of a pool. Po wouldn’t even take a bath. And they were trying to get him to swim in nine feet of water?
At the same time, she knew it wouldn’t make any difference, and besides, Po shouldn’t have bitten anyone.
Not that she couldn’t understand why he had.
She felt frustration well up in her as she stared into the face of her beautiful baby boy. She wished she could fix him. Before the tsunami, he’d been the first kid in the water and the last out. Now she wondered if he’d ever swim again.
“Am I in trouble now? Big trouble?” Po asked, his dark eyes sad.
“We don’t bite, Po,” she said sternly. “Ever.”
Po nodded, his eyes growing wide, his bottom lip quivering just a little bit. She hated to see him like that, especially when she knew it wasn’t all his fault. But she couldn’t not punish him, either. So while she wanted to hug him and tell him it would all be okay, the ghost of her tiger mom in her head told her, Two wrongs don’t make a right.
“No TV today,” she added.
“Mom!” he protested.
“I mean it.” Even if her son wasn’t completely in the wrong, she still had to lay down the law. Yet as she watched his little shoulders slump over in resignation, she wondered if she was doing the right thing. Should she have caved and told him it was fine to bite some crazy woman who tried to throw you in the deep end of the pool? She couldn’t help but second-guess herself, something she’d been doing quite a lot in the past year.
Po may have gotten kicked out of day care, but why did she feel like the one who was failing?
Jun glanced at her watch.
“My Tai Chi class!” she exclaimed, realizing that she had just a few minutes to get there and no time to find a sitter. “You’re coming to Mommy’s class.”
After a hectic drive, Jun managed to pull into a spot not too far from the beach. She grabbed her bag and took Po’s hand, guiding him down the sand-strewn path next to the parking lot, which led to the swaying palm trees and sparkling blue ocean. Already, most of her class had gathered and she hated that she was late. It was unprofessional and unlike her.
“Come on, Po. We’ve got to hurry.” She wondered why Po was always so fast when he was running from her, usually bolting straight toward a busy street, but when she wanted to get somewhere, it was as if his feet had grown lead soles.
This day just felt as if it had taken on a life of its own and was quickly spiraling out of her grasp.
“Hey, do you need a hand?” The deep rumble of a voice behind her made her whirl. Following her across the asphalt parking lot was Kai Brady. He grinned, showing his beautiful white smile in his smooth tanned face. This time he was wearing a shirt, but it didn’t change the power of his magnetic pull.
Her heart lurched, and she was acutely aware of her windblown hair and the fact she was late, harried and completely disheveled.
What on earth was he doing here?
CHAPTER FOUR (#ulink_af5aebf8-adef-5e75-998d-8bc2467e1a08)
KAI OFFERED TO take Jun’s bag, but it was clear by her expression that she wasn’t going to let it go. She stood there looking uncertain, clutching her boy’s hand, and he wondered for a minute if she was actually not glad to see him. He wasn’t used to cool welcomes. Po, however, didn’t disappoint.
“Kai!” the little boy cried, his voice pure joy as he whipped his tiny hand free of his mother’s grasp and ran to him. Surprised that the boy even remembered him after all these months, he grinned. The boy charged straight to Kai, arms wide. Po’s enthusiasm was infectious as Kai instinctively picked him up and swung him in the air, causing him to squeal in delight.
“Good to see you, Po!” Kai said, and meant it. Seeing him happy and healthy meant something. It reminded him how precious life was. In this moment of pure joy, Kai didn’t think surfing even mattered. He wondered why he had stayed away from Po for so long. The elation on his innocent face warmed Kai’s heart. He felt better than he had in months.
Kai caught the disapproving look on Jun’s face and put Po down, suddenly noticing how much the boy had grown in a year. He’d lost some of the baby fat he’d carried then. His dark hair was shorter, but the devious smile on his lips as his mother whispered something in his ear was exactly the same. In his hand, he clutched a plastic Spider-Man figure, and he was dressed nearly head to toe in clothes depicting the web slinger.
Thinking back to the tsunami, Kai remembered Elmo tennis shoes as the boy scrambled up the stairs to the second floor of the day-care building just seconds before the first wave hit. Kai could hear the loud chest-thumping roar of the wave even now, could feel it reverberating in his bones.
“I have a poster of you in my room!” Po exclaimed, breathless. “You’re like this!” Po mimicked a surfing pose.
“A poster, huh?” Kai glanced over at Jun.
“He saw it at the store and wouldn’t let us leave until I promised to get it for his birthday,” Jun admitted as she juggled the beach bag, a bottle of water and a clipboard.
“Can I take that?” Kai again offered to take the bag, but she resisted, moving her shoulder away from him.
“I’m fine,” she said, tightly, like a woman who didn’t want help. She probably didn’t like men who opened doors, either. Stubborn and independent, he could tell. Yet the obstinate set of her chin just made her look even prettier, a fact she’d probably hate to know. “Can I...uh, we...help you? I’ve got a class here...” She nodded anxiously down at the modest crowd milling about in the shade of palm trees on the beach.
“That’s why I’m here.”
Jun looked at Kai as if he’d grown horns. He wanted to check to make sure his hair wasn’t doing something strange. She cocked her head to one side, her dark ponytail flowing down one pale shoulder as her brown eyes studied him, confused.
“Your free class?” He held up her business card between two fingers and then her face lit up in recognition.
It had been on a whim he’d even come, but after Gretchen had quit, he’d been at loose ends. The card she’d given him had felt like serendipity.
Gretchen’s words still ricocheted around his head. It’s not me who’s quitting. It’s you.
He knew she was right, and yet he didn’t know how to snap out of it, or he would. He glanced at the beach, at the people there in loose-fitting shorts, waiting on class to start. Part of him hoped Tai Chi would help him. But deep down, he knew Tai Chi wouldn’t replace Gretchen’s grueling training sessions. Tai Chi wasn’t the answer, but it was a way to spend the afternoon that didn’t involve heading to a tourist bar and seducing another hotel guest, which he thought had to be an improvement.
Unless it involved seducing a beautiful Tai Chi instructor instead.
He glanced at her fitted leggings and her bare toned calves. Yes, he wouldn’t mind that at all.
“Oh...yes, of course.” Her demeanor changed. “I didn’t expect you today, but you’re welcome to stay. Although today might not be the best class. Po, uh...is usually at day care, but...”
“I bit my teacher!” Po exclaimed, in the blunt honesty of a four-year-old.
“You bit your teacher!” Kai echoed, surprised. “Why?”
Kai saw Jun wince.
“She wanted to throw me in the pool!”
“But I thought you liked to swim,” Kai said, remembering how amazed he had been at the then-three-year-old’s advanced dog-paddling skills in the flood after the tsunami. They’d saved him. The boy’s eyes grew wide and he shook his head slowly side to side. Kai got a feeling then that there was more going on with Po than his mother had let on when she’d dropped by his house. The look on his face when he’d mentioned swimming was plain old fear, and Kai recognized it clearly enough. It was the same way he felt about surfing.
“Po, come along now. We’ve got to start class. If you’d like to join, you’re welcome, Mr. Brady.” Jun infused a formalness into her speech and Kai could almost hear a wall coming up, a protective mom’s instincts. The day-care discussion or one about swimming was not one she wanted to have.
“Call me Kai,” he said, flashing his best smile.
“Yeah, Mom. Call him Kai!” Po exclaimed, jumping up and down and clapping.
“All right,” Jun acquiesced, but Kai noticed she didn’t actually say his name. She looked away from him, a blush creeping up her cheek. “Come on, Po. Let’s set you up so you can build sand castles while Mommy does her class. I need a good helper.”
Po nodded solemnly in a way that showed he was taking this as seriously as a little kid could. He trailed after his mom as the three of them joined the rest of the class on the beach under the shade of some large palm trees. Jun waved to some of the people waiting as she bustled Po over to an outcropping of lava rocks at the edge of the shade, plopping him down on a towel with a bucket and shovel about thirty feet from the ocean. Kai tried to imagine this sweet boy as a wild child who would bite his teacher at day care. He just couldn’t see it.
A man waiting for the lesson to begin sighed loudly near him.
“She brought her kid?” the fiftysomething man groaned, disapproving. “I didn’t pay for a toddler class.” Kai eyed the man with the silver hair in the black T-shirt and frowned. The judgment rolling off him was palpable, and Kai wanted to tell him to give Jun a break. What was she supposed to do? Leave Po in the car to die of heatstroke?
Kai felt defensive of single moms. After all, he’d been raised by one, and then, after she died, he’d been raised by his aunt, who’d done it all by herself. He knew how hard a job it was, and he also knew that this man had no idea at all the sacrifices Jun likely made.
Jun was too far away to hear and Kai was grateful. He hoped the guy kept the rest of his complaints to himself. Jun and Po didn’t need his grousing. Kai took up a position beside him on the far side of the class as the dozen or so people fell into a loose grid in front of Jun. Kai had always thought that Tai Chi was only for older people, but the class included a wide variety of ages, and surprisingly, most of them were men. Jun unzipped her Windbreaker and was now in a sleeveless coral-colored tank and yoga pants. Kai couldn’t help but notice the tight fit of black Lycra down her muscled legs, and instantly, his thoughts went to what it might feel like to run his hand up them. He realized he wasn’t the only man who was thinking that way, either, as most of them stared openly at Jun, some eyes lingering on the hint of cleavage in her scoop-neck tank. Then he understood why there were so many men taking a Tai Chi class. He had no doubt she was good at what she did, but he also knew some of the men in this class probably didn’t care about Tai Chi as much as ogling a hot teacher for forty-five minutes.
If Jun knew that was why she had so many men in her class, she didn’t let on. Her smile was warm but not flirty as she, and everyone else in class, kicked off flip-flops. He did the same and sank his toes into the cool sand.
“I am so sorry we’re getting a little bit of a late start,” Jun said. “I had...uh...babysitting trouble today, so I really appreciate your patience.”
Most of the class seemed fine, but the grumpy man in the black T-shirt let out a disgruntled sigh. Kai glared at him. “Kids,” the man said to Kai with an eye roll as if Kai were in on the complaint.
Kai was about to say something, but Jun started the class and he didn’t want to be caught talking. Jun led them in a warm-up. She was delicate and graceful. Kai noticed that the disgruntled man kept staring at Jun’s body. That observation made Kai like him even less. After completing a series of stretches, she began the Tai Chi.
“We’ll start with the motion called Hands on the Table,” she said, putting her hands palm-down in the air in front of her. “And then we’ll Calm the Water.” She stepped out on her front foot, shifting her weight and pushing her hands, still palm-down, outward. Kai and the other students did the same. They went through the same motion on the other side. None of the moves were strenuous, and yet, doing them, Kai did feel a bit of a calm seep into the slow rhythm. Kai tried to keep his eye on Jun as they went through several more movements, including Moving the Water and Over the Drum. About fifteen minutes into the class, he saw that Po had abandoned his bucket and shovel and was mimicking every move his mother made, almost as if he wanted to do the class himself. The end result was an adorable, awkward preschooler’s version of Tai Chi. In his little Spider-Man shirt, he was pretty darn cute.
A snicker or two went up from the class. The three women in the class, in particular, smiled warmly at the boy. Jun glanced anxiously over at Po, but seeing that he was really doing no harm trying the moves, she let it go. The grumbling man next to Kai, however, didn’t like it.
“Can’t concentrate with that kid interrupting,” he groused. Kai was pretty sure what he meant was he couldn’t concentrate on her ass with the kid nearby. He was willing to guess that the idea of her as a mom didn’t factor into whatever perverted fantasy the jerk liked to concoct during class.
Kai shushed him, annoyed.
The man frowned in return but fell silent.
“We’ll now move on to Ball in the Mountain. Move those arms,” Jun said. “Feel it building your Chi. This is a great exercise for making a stronger mind.”
Po mimicked the same move, stretching his hands in a circular motion forward, but he overexaggerated it and toppled over, like a puppy with oversize paws. Po, fine, bounced back up grinning, ready to start again.
“Honestly, if you can’t control your kid...” the grumpy man said, very loudly this time as he shook his head in disapproval. He seemed to miss the fact that no one else in the class appeared to agree with him. A few shot him dirty looks. “I can’t focus on these moves with him bouncing around like an idiot. Someone needs to teach that kid to be still!”
Kai wanted to teach the man how to be still and quiet. Jun heard his remarks, and her face turned beet red. She sent a worried glance at Po, but honestly, the boy wasn’t doing any harm. The man was overreacting.
Jun transitioned the class into another pose, and this time Po decided to do his own headstand and rolled over in the sand.
Next to Kai, the irritated man bellowed, “If nobody is going to tell that kid to sit down, I’ll do it.”
Jun’s head popped up in alarm. She was already on the move to intercept the angry man from getting to Po, but Kai was there first. He put a hand on the man’s chest.
“Hey, the kid’s not hurting anybody,” Kai said, stopping the man’s progress cold. Jun, who’d hurried to Po’s side, stood still, a protective arm around her son.
“He’s a distraction,” the man growled, dark eyes flashing.
“You’re a distraction,” Kai corrected. “Why don’t you quiet down?”
Murmurs and agreeing nods swept the class.
They were the focus of attention now, and Kai could feel everyone’s gaze on them, even as some tried to continue the motions. Jun just stared, speechless.
The man, clearly not used to being called on his grumbling, glared at Kai. “I’m not going to be quiet. I’m going to get the goddamn class I paid for, a class without kids.”
A few gasps went up from the class at the language.
Jun rushed, too late, to cover Po’s little ears.
“Either quiet down or leave.” Kai wasn’t going to back down. He wasn’t the kind of man who went looking for a fight, but he’d been pushed into plenty of corners by surfers defending turf on various beaches all over the world. Bullies were the same, no matter their age or nationality: you either stood up to them, or you let them walk over you. And Kai had never backed down from a bully, not once in his life.
“I’m not going to have my afternoon ruined by some stupid fuckin’ kid!” he roared, pointing at the little boy, whose bottom lip quivered as his eyes filled with tears threatening to spill.
“Hey!” Jun’s voice was like steel, her eyes glinting fiercely. “You do not talk about my son that way.” Despite her small frame, she’d stalked right up to the angry man, fearless. She was an angry mama bear, protecting her cub. “And watch your language!”
Instantly, the man seemed cowed. There was something in her voice that said she wasn’t messing around. Kai admired her in that moment. What a little firecracker. Here he’d thought she’d needed rescuing, but he had a sneaking suspicion she could’ve handled this man all on her own.
“You have two choices, Mr. Hiram. You can stay in this class and behave. Or you can leave.”
“I—I...” Mr. Hiram sputtered, temporarily taken aback by Jun. “But that stupid kid!”
“You’ve made your choice. Time for you to go,” Jun said, and Kai tightened his grip on the man.
“You can’t kick me out. I paid for this class!” the man sputtered.
Kai dug his wallet out of his back pocket and pulled out a hundred-dollar bill. He tucked the money in the man’s shirt pocket.
“Consider it refunded.”
“But...” If he was hoping for a reprieve from Jun, he wouldn’t get one.
Jun just pointed her finger to the parking lot and gave Mr. Hiram a look that would melt a weaker man. “Let’s go.” Kai swept his hands forward.
Mr. Hiram looked as though he was going to dig in his heels.
“Stupid bitch,” he muttered under his breath.
“What did you say?” Jun was livid now. So was Kai. She stepped over, as if she planned to do something about it, but Kai wasn’t going to let that happen. He was filled with a protective kind of fury. “That’s it.” Kai grabbed the man’s arm and with one quick move twisted it up behind his back.
“Ow,” he cried. Kai steadily marched the man, arm still behind his back, up the beach and to the parking lot.
Once near the asphalt, Kai stopped. “You can go home either with or without a broken arm.” He twisted the man’s arm harder and Hiram squealed. “Which one is it going to be?”
“Without,” he ground out.
Kai released him with a shove, and the man stumbled into the parking lot, holding his arm. Eyes full of fear, he glanced back at Kai. He scampered to his car, a rental, and got in. Kai watched while he backed up and drove away.
The class broke out in spontaneous applause as Kai made his way back to them. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one who felt that the man needed to be shown out. Jun, her arm around a now-grinning Po, nodded once at him. Kai just shrugged—no big deal. And anyway, she’d had it covered even without his help. He had to admire her grit, especially for a woman so...seemingly delicate. But, he realized, there wasn’t anything delicate about her.
“Thank you,” she whispered to him as she squeezed his arm.
“It’s nothing,” he said. Po threw his tiny arms around Kai’s legs, his silent hug saying more than Jun ever could.
“Come on, now, sweetie,” she said, pulling Po back. “Time we finish the class.” Po went back to his bucket and shovel, happily digging in the sand, and Jun moved to the front of the class.
“Well, I’m sorry for that, everyone,” she said, addressing the others. “I guess Mr. Hiram kind of missed the point of using Tai Chi to calm his Chi.”
A murmur of laughter rippled through the class.
“Okay, let’s start again with Moving the Water,” Jun said as she swept her arms forward as if pushing air.
* * *
FORTY MINUTES LATER, after a cooldown session, as the class dispersed, gathering their towels and bags and heading back to their cars, Jun saw that Kai had stuck around. He was kneeling next to Po, helping him add another turret to his sand castle. They had their heads together. Kai talked softly to the boy, the conversation not carrying over the wind. For a second, she just stood by, watching them. Kai showed him the trick to getting the wet sand out of the bucket without crumbling the top: three hard taps to the flat side of the bucket before gently lifting. Po listened and watched carefully and then repeated everything he’d just learned. Jun marveled at her son’s attention. He rarely sat still long enough to learn tips from her, and yet here he was, soaking up Kai’s every word.
Maybe Po could use another adult in his life, someone else to help him learn about the world. Someone other than his mother or aunt. Yet as soon as the thought entered her mind, defensively, she pushed it out.
No, they were just fine on their own. Her and Po against the world. Always had been. Always would be.
Kai wasn’t someone you could depend on, she reasoned. Jun remembered the two tourists at his house and the empty beer bottles on his floor. He might have done us a favor today, but he’s not the fathering type.
“Hey, Po, time to pack up, buddy,” she said, interrupting the scene.
“Aw, Mom.” Po looked up, disappointed. “Do I have to?”
“Yes, young man. You know the rule.” She prayed he wouldn’t test her on it. Not today. Not in front of Kai.
“When you say it’s time to go, it’s time to go.” Po hung his head in defeat and shuffled his feet in the sand.
“Sandals on. Go on.” Po reluctantly went to fetch his sandals, which he’d flung off earlier near a palm tree.
“He’s a good kid,” Kai said as the two watched him sit in the sand and put his shoes on.
“Yeah, he is.” Jun knew that in her heart to be true. The biting just wasn’t him at all. He really was a sweet kid, and he minded her so well, most of the time. “Listen, thanks for what you did. With Mr. Hiram. I don’t know what made him go off like that...”
“Who knows? But it wasn’t anything. Bullies are the same wherever they are.” Kai smiled, and the air between them got suddenly heavy. Jun was aware of how close Kai was standing, his dark hair ruffled by the sea breeze, his deep eyes like a warm, familiar place that she’d visited before.
He flashed a dazzling smile and Jun felt her heart shift just a little bit. She liked it when he smiled. She liked it a little too much.
Kai cleared his throat. “Your class was...really good.” He sounded surprised, but Jun tried not to take that personally. A lot of people had misconceptions about Tai Chi, and few realized how relaxing it could be when you really put yourself into it. It could have the same centering effects of yoga, she thought, but without all the contortion.
“Listen, this may sound crazy, but I recently lost my personal trainer. I looked you up. You’ve got all kinds of classes at Island Fit. I know you know your way around weights and training, because I called the gym and checked up on you. How much would it take for you to come work for me...full-time?”
CHAPTER FIVE (#ulink_077bb169-0b1d-57a1-b0d6-5b813d0cfa01)
JUN STOOD FROZEN to the spot. Work for Kai Brady, full-time? She stared at his warm brown puppy-dog eyes and right at that moment she almost blurted out “Yes!” before her brain suddenly caught up to her mouth. She pressed her lips together. Careful, her brain said. There’s got to be a catch.
Did she want to work for him for the job, or to be closer to that smooth, unlined face, those strong, kissable lips?
She needed to figure this out. She wasn’t used to being recruited. Every job she’d ever had, every class she’d ever started, was her own doing, brought to life with blood, sweat and tears. Nobody ever handed her opportunity, ever. She was stunned, her mind trying to work through all the implications, even as her whole body reacted to the possibility. Working full-time for Kai Brady? All the hours they’d spend in close proximity... Her heart sped up a little.
“I used to pay my last trainer six figures to clear her calendar for me. I’ll offer the same thing for you.”
Jun’s knees felt weak. Six figures! She’d never made that kind of money in her life. It would double her salary. “But I...” With that, she could afford a nanny, she thought, and much more. Her head spun.
“I don’t know...” Jun couldn’t think. It was the promise of money, but it was also Kai, standing so close to her, the hem of his thin T-shirt fluttering in the beach breeze, giving a tantalizing glimpse of his flat tanned stomach and the muscled V just below his abs. She blinked, trying to regain her senses once more. But work for Kai Brady? She’d have to quit all her jobs, Island Fit and her private classes. That would mean counting entirely on the surfer, who might hire and fire at will. Jun remembered the scene at his house. Could she even train someone like that? And what if he got mad? He’d fire her, and she’d be completely out of work and completely out of luck. She didn’t like relying on anyone, and if she took the job, she’d have to rely on Kai for...everything.
“Po doesn’t have day care. And I wouldn’t have time to find a nanny...” This would be the deal breaker, she thought. Then she wouldn’t even have to think about accepting the job. Po would be her out.
“I know.” Kai shrugged, indifferent.
“You know?”
“When we were building sand castles, Po told me that he can’t go back. Because of the biting. But I’ve got someone who could watch him while we train. My aunt is really great with kids. She raised me, like a mom, and I know she’d be happy to stay with Po. I’d need to ask her, but I bet she’ll say yes. He could be at the house while we train. You wouldn’t be far from him.”
Jun felt dizzy with possibilities. It seemed like a dream job in so many ways, except one: she really didn’t know if she could do it. Could she whip Kai into shape?
“I don’t know...”
Kai grabbed her hand. Electricity shot up her wrist. She glanced at his strong hand on hers.
“Don’t say no. Just think about it, okay? Take two days.”
Jun wanted to say no. So much about it seemed perfect, which was why a small part of her screamed, It’s too good to be true!
And yet Jun found herself nodding.
“Okay, I’ll think about it.”
* * *
“WHAT’S TO THINK ABOUT?” Jun’s sister, Kiki, said, as she picked up her toddler daughter and held her on one hip. “He’s offering day care and more money than you’ve ever made. And you’ve had a crush on him for a year.”
“I have not.” Jun crossed her arms and leaned back against her older sister’s kitchen counter in her small house near Hilo, about an hour away from Jun’s apartment. Her heart beat a little faster in her chest, making her wonder if she was telling the truth. “He saved Po’s life. I’ve just been trying to figure out how to pay him back.”
“Take the job, then,” her sister said, shrugging as she stirred chicken stir-fry in an oversize wok on the stove. She took a sip of her iced tea. “What? Afraid you’ll fall into bed with him before the first week is up?”
“Kiki!” Jun instinctively glanced at Po, worried he’d overheard, but he was out of earshot, busy playing awful music on his cousin’s baby electronic keyboard, shaped like a smiling Cheshire cat, with the ivories as teeth. He was singing “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” and pounding ruthlessly on the keys. His cousin, two-year-old Rose, squirmed to be let down, and so Kiki put her on the ground. She tottered around “helping” by dancing and shrieking in delight.
“Oh, come on. He can’t hear us, and even if he did, he’d have no idea what we’re talking about.” Kiki tossed an oven mitt on her countertop. “Your problem is you’ve been in mommy mode far too long. You need to think about your whole self. You’re a woman, too, not just a mommy.”
“I’ll have plenty of time to think of that later.” Jun shook her head. “Like when Po is eighteen.”
Kiki sputtered a derisive laugh. “You’ll be shriveled up and dried out by then.”
“Kiki!” Jun slapped her sister’s arm.
“You know I’m right.” Kiki bustled over to the refrigerator and pulled out ingredients for a salad. She handed the lettuce, tomatoes and carrots over to Jun, and immediately she knew it would be her turn to wash them, Kiki’s to cut. She ran the lettuce under the sink and briskly shook it out.
It was no surprise Kiki worried about how much Jun was getting laid. Kiki had always been more into going out and having fun when they were younger. She’d been the rebel who butted heads with their tiger mom for years: getting a tattoo, coming home drunk, showing up with a new boyfriend every month. Jun had been the picture-perfect daughter with the impeccable grades and dreams of going to med school, and yet, irony of ironies, Jun’s one drunken mistake ended with her pregnant at nineteen. And now Kiki was the one who’d gone to college, come out the other side a nurse and had a doting husband, the cozy house, the nice green lawn, while Jun had had to drop out of college and work odd jobs to support Po.
Jun still remembered her mother’s face when she told her she was unmarried and pregnant at nineteen. Her mother had reared back and slapped her hard across the face. If she thought about it, the blow still stung. Her tiger mom, so angry, so completely rigid about her rules, hadn’t even come to the hospital when Po was born. Jun felt her mother had abandoned her then, and when a sudden heart attack took her six months later, it was more like a formality.
“You need to stop living like a nun,” Kiki said as Jun handed her freshly washed pieces of lettuce that she broke off by hand and tossed into a waiting teak bowl. “Po needs a father. All the research says that boys with single moms are at a disadvantage. You don’t want Po to be a statistic, do you?”
The more Kiki had settled down into her white-picket-fence life, the more judgmental she’d gotten, a quality Jun liked less and less the older they both got.
“Po and I are doing just fine.”
“Is that why he got kicked out of day care?”
“Kiki.” Jun hated when her sister brought up her shortcomings, especially now, since she had so many and Kiki had so few.
Jun still couldn’t believe Kiki used to listen to punk rock, wear black lipstick and stay out all night. Now she was the spitting image of their mother, down to the way she wore her hair in a short bob. One of these days, if Kiki pushed her too far, Jun might just point that out. “Come on. That’s not fair.”
“Po needs a father. He wouldn’t be biting if he had a father.”
“You don’t know that.” Jun exhaled a long, frustrated sigh. Her sister meant well, she knew that, but she just didn’t understand. She wasn’t a single mom, and she probably would never be one. It was easy for her to backseat-drive when she had a loving husband with a good job who spoiled her at every turn. Kiki didn’t know what it felt like to be on her own, worrying about paying her bills or frantically finding last-minute child care. How could Jun realistically date when she had no one to watch Po? And even if she did, somehow she thought it was selfish to take time away from her boy chasing after a man who probably would only disappoint them later.
“Jun, I’m sorry. I just... I just hate to see you unhappy.” Kiki paused, wiping her hands on a tea towel. “Kai Brady is rich, he’s handsome and he sounds like he’s into you.”
“No.” Jun shook her head furiously, thinking of yesterday when she had rung his bell and he didn’t even remember her. Not to mention, she couldn’t compete with the leggy blondes he seemed to prefer. “That’s not why he wants to hire me.”
“It’s not?”
“I think it’s for Po.” Jun had it all figured out. Kai seemed to like Po for some reason, like maybe he was one of those rich celebrities who every now and again decided to adopt a stray.
“Great! He’s dad material, then.”
Jun felt panic in her throat. A party-happy millionaire was not good dad material.
“No. You don’t get it. I don’t think he’s got it in him to commit to Po...or anything. Surfing is his life, extreme surfing at that, and even that’s something he puts aside to party. Besides, if I take this job, I’ll have to quit my others, and what if he fires me after one month? Then what?”
“Then you and Po come live with us. We just finished the guest room.”
“Kiki...”
“I mean it. Opportunities like this don’t come along any old time, Jun. You’ve got to take them when you can.”
Jun sighed as she washed the tomatoes beneath the tap. “Even if I take the job, I’m not sure I can train him. He doesn’t want to be trained.”
“Is that what the hesitation is about? You know what Mom always said about training people.” Kiki began slicing the tomatoes Jun had placed on her cutting board.
Jun smiled at the memory of their no-nonsense, sugar-coat-nothing mother. “‘In a contest of wills, the laziest one loses.’”
“See? All you have to do is work harder than he does, which doesn’t sound like it would be too difficult. Why don’t you channel Mom and see if you can’t whip that surfer into shape?”
Jun imagined what her mother might do to Kai if she’d been assigned the job of getting him in shape for a surf competition. She’d crush him in one week flat.
“You did it before when you worked at CrossFit two years ago. Didn’t they have a name for you there?” Kiki asked.
“The Terminator,” Jun said, and laughed a little. She had been a tough trainer then. It had been one of her first classes, and she’d maybe overcompensated for nerves by being extra tough on everyone. But the nickname had stuck until she’d transferred over to Island Fit and discovered Tai Chi, yoga and a more Zen approach to fitness.
“See? You’ve already got this in the bag. Plus, I know you have a thing for surfers. What was his name? John?”
“James.” Jun thought about the year in high school she’d spent following around James McAlister, the towheaded surfer whom she’d had a crush on. Nothing had ever happened. James never even knew she existed, really, but she had learned how to surf. Still, she wasn’t anywhere near Kai’s caliber.
“I don’t have a thing for surfers.” Jun saw Kai’s inviting dark eyes once more in her mind’s eye. Or did she?
“Okay, then, well, you owe Kai a debt. You know how Mom felt about debt.”
The woman had paid cash for everything and had never owned a single credit card. If a neighbor brought her a basket of fruit, she’d somehow turn it into a full meal, which she’d return the following day. Jun knew herself well enough to know that her staunch independence came directly from her mother. She knew she couldn’t turn Kai down. She owed him.
So why did working for him fill her with dread? Why did repaying a debt feel as though somehow she would just be asking for more? Because she had a sinking feeling that Kai was so far into self-destruct mode that she might not be able to help him. What if she tried and failed?
“It’s not how I wanted to repay the debt,” Jun said. “Besides, how is it being repaid if he’s paying me to do it?”
“You want to take the job for free, that’s your business, but he’s asking you for help. You know you can’t turn him down.”
Jun knew her sister spoke the truth. Yet, as she thought about his devilishly charming smile and the way his dark eyes suggested he knew just how much he got under her skin, she really wished she could.
“He told me to think about it for two days.”
“So?”
“So I’m going to take two days to think about it.”
CHAPTER SIX (#ulink_13c90ac7-27a1-5575-a3ab-97798b92e1c6)
KAI SAT OUTSIDE Island Fit in his open-top Jeep, the warm tropical sun beaming down on his wavy dark hair. His golden-brown skin didn’t need more of a tan, but it was a crime to put the fabric top up and shut out the beautiful Hawaiian weather.
It had been two days and change since the Tai Chi lesson on the beach, when he’d offered Jun a job. He’d not heard a word from her. He had to admit, he’d expected a call that same day. The fact that she hadn’t jumped on the opportunity made him wonder if he was losing his charm. Women rarely told him no. Hell, he hadn’t even found a woman who’d told him maybe in a very long time. He’d been the recipient of so many enthusiastic yeses, so many women who threw themselves at him, that he’d forgotten what it was like to actually chase someone.
Personally or professionally.
Not many people on the Big Island had the kind of money he did, and those who didn’t succumb to his smile usually rolled over when he opened up his checkbook.
Jun, clearly, was different. But why? He wanted to find out.
It had been a while since he’d cared enough about a woman to get out of bed before noon. Here it was, eight in the morning, and he was sitting outside the gym, watching Jun move about inside. He didn’t know what it was about her. Maybe the grounded confidence she wore easily, like a second skin?
He might have saved her from a rude client on the beach, but part of him thought she would’ve handled it just fine on her own. He’d never met someone so completely independent, someone who had herself together the way she did. He used to be like her, before the tsunami. He remembered feeling as if he could tackle any challenge, surf any wave, no matter how big. But now he wasn’t sure he could even get out of the bed in the morning. He wanted a little bit of Jun’s certainty, a little of her glue to hold himself together.
That was why she had to work for him.
It had nothing to do with the fact that she was 100 percent alluring: athletic and gorgeous yet delicate all at the same time. She was like a hormone cocktail that made his head buzz.
Even now he shifted in the front seat of his car, his groin growing taut as he watched her march across the gym in black spandex capris that hugged her fit curves, her gleaming black ponytail bouncing as she went. His body’s response surprised him. It wasn’t as if he lacked for sex, but to be so struck by a single mom? He believed in the power of family, of ’ohana, as his aunt called it. But when it came to having one of his own, he always thought he would someday, but that always seemed far away, years down the road, when his surfing career was long done. He’d never been one to seriously consider dating a single mom, and he’d never once found one as sexy as he found Jun.
But this is professional, not personal, he reminded himself. He needed a trainer. She needed to earn more than what this place could no doubt provide. Island Fit might be a nice gym, but it was small and probably relied heavily on tourists streaming in from the big hotel resort next door.
He swung open his Jeep door and stepped out into the temperate tropical breeze rolling in off the ocean, ready to go see why Jun hadn’t already accepted his offer, and he wasn’t going to leave until he got the answer he wanted. He flipped his expensive shades to the top of his head as he pulled open the glass door.
He saw Jun first, standing near the front desk, and then noticed she was being crowded by a stout, muscled man who seemed to be trying to find a reason to keep his hand on her lower back. Instantly, jealousy blazed up in his chest. Surprised by the possessiveness he felt, he pushed the territorial feelings down. He had no hold on her. Yet.
“Kai,” Jun blurted, surprise flickering across her face. The man next to her, he noticed, didn’t pull away but moved closer to her side, eyes narrowing as he looked warily in Kai’s direction. Jun tried to delicately untangle herself from the man’s iron grip on her as she made introductions. “Um, Tim, this is Kai Brady. Kai, this is my boss, Tim Reese.”
Tim released her, but not fast enough for Kai’s taste. This guy was her boss? He had sexual-harassment lawsuit written all over him.
“Kai, I’ve heard of you, man. You’ve got that baggy line of board shorts everyone’s wearing.” Tim sent him a guarded smile, showing that the compliment was intended to be anything but. He held out a hand and Kai shook it. He noticed Tim’s grip was harder than it should be, and Kai realized the man saw him as competition. If it was a pissing contest he wanted, Kai already knew he’d win.
“Yeah, we just hit the three-million mark for numbers sold but projections are to double that by next year. Even mainland kids are wearing them.” That figure shut up Tim in a hurry, and Kai had known it would. He hated talking money, but some guys wouldn’t back down until it was in their face.
“Kai, what are you doing here?” Jun looked stricken, almost panicky.
“You forgot already? You promised me a workout session.” The lie came easily.
“I did?” Jun’s face went blank.
“You did.” Kai nodded back to the half-empty gym.
Tim still stood a little too close to Jun, but Kai could see the wheels moving in his head. A three-time surf champion at Island Fit would bring in more customers. He could see Tim struggling with what he wanted more: Jun or the business. If Kai had had to make the same call, he wouldn’t have hesitated.
“I double booked, then. I’ve got another client in ten minutes.” Jun glanced down at the computer monitor in front of her.
“I’ll take it, Jun,” Tim said, and rubbed her arm for good measure. Kai wanted to slap the meathead’s hand away, especially when he saw Jun smile at him in relief.
“Thanks, Tim.”
“No problem. You go help Kai.” He rubbed her back again and it took all of Kai’s energy not to leap over the small counter and grab the dude by his muscle shirt. Jun moved away from him and Kai followed her to the far corner of the gym.
“You didn’t ask for a session,” Jun said when they were far enough away from Tim not to be overheard.
“I asked for all your sessions,” Kai corrected, and Jun nearly lost her footing on the rubber-matted floor near the weights. Kai’s arm shot out to steady her. “You okay?”
“Fine.” Jun held his arm for a second and then let it go as though it were a white-hot poker. Kai could feel Tim glaring at them from the desk.
“It’s been two days. I was expecting your call.”
“I...” Jun looked fully flustered now. “I was just taking the time to think about it.”
“What’s to think about?” Kai really wanted to know. He was offering her free child care and six figures. Did she want stock options in his clothing company?
“Let’s start out with some free weights and some squats,” Jun said, trying to direct his attention to the weight stand. “Good for building those surfing muscles.”
“I’m serious, Jun. What will it take to convince you to say yes? I want to make this happen.” He needed her confidence, her no-nonsense “you can fix that” attitude. Plus, he’d like to have Po around. The kid made him smile. Made him think about something other than his knee. That was a good thing. “Where’s Po?”
“My sister is watching him today.”
“Can your sister watch him every day?”
“No,” Jun admitted. Kai grabbed thirty-pound weights for each hand. “You can do more than that!” She made him switch for fifty-pound weights. “Now, we’re going to do lunges first. Like this.” She took one huge step forward, showing him the form. He’d done free-weight lunges often and knew what she wanted. He started in on the first rep, using his good knee to take the weight first.
“Come work for me.”
“But...Tim has been good to me,” Jun said. Kai flinched as he heard the affection in her voice. Did she have a thing for that guy? He certainly had one for her, based on the way he stared at them, as if he was prepared to run on over if Kai so much as breathed on her.
Sweat popped up on his forehead. It had been a while since he’d worked so hard.
“Tim has a thing for you, you know.” Kai watched Jun carefully to gauge her reaction. She winced a little, an uncomfortable squirm, much to his relief.
“Is it that obvious?” Jun glanced back at Tim.
“You see how he’s staring daggers at me right now? He’s pissed off I interrupted his back-rubbing session.”
“His what?” Jun looked bewildered.
“He touches you. A lot. Borderline sexual harassment if he’s your boss.” Not that I haven’t fantasized about doing the same thing. Of course, the difference was he’d wait until she wanted him to do it. That was what separated him from Tim.
“He’s not that bad.” Jun tried to shrug it off. Maybe she liked that Tim put his hands on her at every available opportunity. That thought irked him.
“Come work for me. Get away from Handsy McHands.” Kai grunted a little as he worked to finish one set of lunges on his good knee.
Jun laughed. “Time to switch legs,” she said.
Kai strained slightly as he switched over to his weaker knee. Surprisingly, the knee held.
“What guarantee do I have that you won’t hire me one week and fire me the next?” she asked him as she watched his form. “Remember, don’t extend the knee over your foot. Keep it aligned.” She kneeled down to touch his knee to show him what she meant. Her touch was cool and electric all at the same time. He wasn’t going to be able to balance at all if she kept touching him like that.
“We can sign a contract. It’ll say you’re entitled to six months’ severance, even if I fire you after day one.” His breath came quicker. Working the weak knee took more concentration and a lot more effort.
Jun froze, staring at him, her mouth slightly open. “Are you serious?”
“Look in my shirt pocket.”
Jun reached into his open pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. She unfolded it and saw it was a contract just like the one he’d described.
“I told you I’d do what it takes for you to come work for me.”
Jun considered this, biting her lower lip. “I don’t know.”
What was it going to take to get this girl to say yes? Kai grunted as he did three more lunges, the weights growing heavier in his hands, the strain on his bad knee building.
Sweat trickled down Kai’s temple. The muscles in his legs burned. His weak knee felt as if it could buckle at any moment. He badly wanted a break.
“We can stop now, right?” Kai was only partly joking.
“Three more.” Jun nodded at him to keep going. He wasn’t sure he could. Then, after the very next lunge, his knee gave out, wobbling unsteadily beneath him.
“Watch out...” he grumbled, and in a panic, he dropped the fifty-pound weight, nearly sending it crashing into the free-weight stand as it bounced to the ground. Thankfully, Jun was nowhere near it, nor was anyone else, and Kai managed to regain his balance by steadying himself against Jun, who was suddenly right beside him, holding him up with an arm around his waist.
“You okay?” Jun breathed, eyes wide with fear as she looked down at his bum knee. The muscles on that leg looked fine to the naked eye, but Kai was convinced they were still smaller than those of his other leg. Nobody saw it—not Gretchen or his doctors—but when Kai looked at his knee, he still saw the pale shriveled leg they’d pulled out of the cast ten months back.
“The knee isn’t...healed?” The fact that Jun seemed to be able to see right through him, right to the heart of his whole problem, made him feel naked suddenly, and vulnerable. Too vulnerable.
“I’m fine,” he said, shaking it off. Shaking her off, and stepping away from her touch. “It’s no big deal.”
But he suspected Jun knew he was lying. He could tell from the way she stared at him, the skepticism evident in her dark eyes, her lids blinking away the judgment. He wouldn’t be able to bluff his way through training with her. Yet the thought of admitting the depth of his problem, of the ways his body was failing him, made him panic. Saying his body was weak out loud just made it more real than he wanted it to be.
“I’m fine,” he said again, this time not looking her in the eye. He didn’t want to see the flash of pity there.
“Everything all right over here?” Tim appeared then between them, an unwanted intrusion.
“Just slipped out of my hand,” Kai lied. “Not her fault.”
Tim glanced at Jun and then back at Kai. “Maybe that’s enough for today?” Tim didn’t bother to disguise his animosity toward Kai, which didn’t bother him a bit. They both wanted the same woman. No sense in trying to dance around it.
“Kai, need some water?” Jun asked, nodding toward a dispenser in the corner.
“I’ll get it,” Tim offered, eager to do what he could to speed Kai’s exit from his gym, no doubt.
Once he was out of earshot, Kai looked at Jun. “I guess you can tell training me won’t be easy.” Kai couldn’t help sounding defeated. His knee had failed him again, and this time in front of Jun. He was a lost cause and he knew it. But he wasn’t ready to throw in the towel. Not yet. Not when Jun could help him.
“But...tell me, which way are you leaning?”
Jun studied him a second, and Kai felt for sure she’d tell him a flat no. Her face told him that was exactly where she was leaning. He couldn’t let that happen. He felt suddenly seized with panic. If she didn’t help him, who would?
Kai had an idea in that moment, one that he might regret, but she was going to turn him down, so what did it matter anyway?
“Wait,” he interrupted, hoping his Hail Mary would work. “Before you turn me down, come to dinner.”
Her eyes widened in surprise and then narrowed in suspicion. “Excuse me?” Clearly, she thought he was asking her out on a date.
“Not just with me. With my sister, my aunt. My friends Dallas and Allie. You remember them?”
Jun slowly nodded. Dallas and Allie had pulled Po and Kai out of the floodwaters and to safety on their kayak. Without them, Kai knew he could’ve died out there. They were also the ones who’d found Jun and reunited her with Po.
“They’re having a dinner tonight at the Kona Estate. Why don’t you come? Bring Po.”
“I wasn’t invited,” Jun began, unsure. Kai noticed she was still a little distrustful, as if she suspected it was some kind of trap. And, really, it was. Kai knew she might be able to tell him no, but Aunt Kaimana would be another story. She loved kids, and he knew that once she saw Po, it would be love at first sight. She’d practically insist on taking on the babysitting.
“They always cook more than we can eat. Dallas is barbecuing, which means he can’t stop unless he’s seared the whole cow. I’m serious. Besides, Aunt Kaimana knows me better than anyone. If after you talk to her, you still want to tell me no, then I’ll leave you alone.”
“One dinner tonight with them and then if I say no, you won’t show up at my work? Stalk me?”
“I wasn’t stalking you,” Kai said.
Jun stared at him, dubious.
“Okay, so I was. I admit it. But come tonight and if you don’t want the job after that, then I’ll leave you alone. I promise.”
Jun mulled this over. “Okay,” she said. “I’ll come.”
“I can pick you both up at six.”
“No,” Jun said quickly. “I’ll meet you there.”
Kai decided not to press the issue. She’d agreed to come. He’d have to be satisfied with that.
CHAPTER SEVEN (#ulink_b1aab998-4482-580a-8d97-2d7d3054f4ff)
THAT EVENING AS Jun made her way to the Kona Estate, she griped her steering wheel and thought, once again, about turning around and going home. She glanced in the rearview and saw Po happily kicking his feet out from his booster seat, staring out the window and clutching his favorite Spider-Man figure in his tiny fist. She felt nervous about meeting Kai’s family—his aunt and sister. She already felt an unnatural pull to the man. Maybe meeting his sister and aunt would show just how hopeless he was. If they were in any way rude, she vowed to leave. Plus, he’d offered his aunt as a babysitter while they worked. If she found fault with the aunt—say, if the woman was mean to Po—then it would be easy to tell Kai no and walk away. Maybe the dinner would give her the excuse she needed to bow out of the job offer.
Dallas and Allie, of course, were another story. She remembered them from the emergency room last year, when they’d looked after Po and helped find her. Jun had liked them immediately, but then, she would’ve loved anyone who delivered her son safely to her. She still remembered how Po’s hands had been sticky from mango candy that Allie had fed him. Under different circumstances, she would’ve been disapproving of the sugar, but right then she was just so happy Allie had shown her boy kindness in a difficult time that she didn’t care. She knew Dallas and Allie were good people: they’d risked their lives going out in the flooding to find Kai. And by doing so, they’d found Po, too. She’d seen the couple around the island since and always said hello, but this would be the first time she’d been to their house.
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