Nurse In A Million
Jennifer Taylor
Dr. Michael Rafferty will do anything to convince nurse Natalie Palmer to bring her nursing talents back to the Worlds Together team. The longer he spends persuading her to return to their medical ranks, the more he wonders why he ever let this woman go from his life.To the self-made surgeon, Natalie's wealthy background makes him feel they are worlds apart. Their happiness depends on whether Rafferty can look beyond their backgrounds and realise that she's not just a nurse in a million, but his woman in a million.
‘Rafferty—’
‘They’re going to winch us down over there.’ He was all business as he turned to her again. ‘Then we’ll just have to climb the last few feet to reach the crew.’
The ground looked an awfully long way away from where they were standing, and she gulped at the thought of dangling off a thin little cable while she lowered herself down the mountainside.
‘You’ll be fine.’ Rafferty pulled her to him and hugged her hard, and she heard the sudden roughness in his voice. ‘I won’t let anything bad happen to you, Natalie.’
Emotion welled up inside her so that it was hard to smile back at him when she felt so choked up. ‘I know you won’t,’ she said huskily.
‘Do you?’
The urgency in his voice was impossible to ignore. ‘I would trust you with my life,’ she said simply. Because it was true.
Dear Reader (#u09d82408-b9c5-5a9d-a71f-7f486285886a)
I have always been fascinated by the work that is carried out by overseas aid agencies, and really admire the courage and dedication of the brave doctors and nurses who volunteer to help other people under the most arduous conditions. Setting up my own fictional medical aid agency is my tribute to them.
I knew as soon as I introduced Natalie and Rafferty in the first book of my Worlds Together series that I would have to tell their story! That’s how it happens sometimes—characters suddenly appear on a page, bringing with them their own issues.
Natalie and Rafferty are both strong-minded people who love one another, but they cannot get past the fact that Natalie is immensely wealthy and Rafferty isn’t. It sounds so simple put like that, but it’s Natalie’s wealth which is keeping them apart. Although Rafferty is a top-flight surgeon, and highly respected in his field, he isn’t sure if he can live up to Natalie’s expectations.
Helping these two people resolve their problems was a fascinating process. They skirt around each other, argue frequently and dig in their heels before they finally admit they are both at fault. Even I breathed a huge sigh of relief when they eventually realised that they couldn’t live without one another!
It’s the most wonderful feeling when you know that you have given your characters the story they deserve. That’s how I felt at the end of NURSE IN A MILLION, and I hope you will too.
Best wishes
Jennifer
You can visit my website at: www.jennifer-taylor.com (http://www.jennifer-taylor.com)
Nurse in a Million
Jennifer Taylor
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
CONTENTS
Cover (#u14bbbfd0-309e-5e4b-a5b4-a9c244b0b4f7)
Dear Reader (#ue48351c5-8f23-51c2-ae34-d534de2bd777)
Title Page (#u0df287db-ef54-5918-b563-a2b6a8cbd37e)
PROLOGUE (#ulink_c8da5641-26b8-518c-bcb8-874fb20c24fc)
CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_b8091a90-11e5-5119-909c-734313270c66)
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_02824b22-e0e6-566a-afc6-d082e0859fb9)
CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_e22237f3-bc61-59fb-a0ae-b5136a7b89f6)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
PROLOGUE (#ulink_b5a5f0f5-1aec-5653-864f-a2101fe353aa)
‘INCOMING wounded. Stand clear!’
Michael James Rafferty sighed as he tossed the paper towel he’d been using into the waste sack. He’d been in Theatre since five that morning and he was far too tired to appreciate all these stupid games. Snapping on a fresh pair of gloves, he turned to the newcomer.
‘We’re not starring in an episode of M.A.S.H. here, Sandy, so just tell me what’s wrong with the patient and leave out the rest.’
‘Oh, um, yes, right. Sorry.’
The younger man looked abashed as he wheeled the trolley into the tent and Rafferty sighed again. It was Sandy Baxendale’s first mission with Worlds Together, a leading international medical aid agency, so it was little wonder that he tended to get carried away by the drama of it all. Rafferty made a note not to be too hard on him in future but with over two dozen missions to his credit, he found it difficult to remember when he’d felt the same kind of excitement. Oh, there was still a certain satisfaction when he managed to save a life under the most arduous conditions, but there was no longer that buzz to the job there’d been once upon a time.
Maybe it was the fact that Natalie was no longer working with them that had made all the difference, he mused, then blanked out the thought. There was no point going down that route again.
‘OK, so what have we got?’ He ran a critical eye over the young woman on the trolley. ‘A bit of a mess, isn’t she? Where was she found?’
‘One of the search-and-rescue teams found her buried under the remains of the maternity unit,’ Sandy explained. ‘They’ve no idea if she’s a patient or a member of the staff.’
‘Did they find anyone else there alive?’ Rafferty asked as he started to examine her. He gently palpated her abdomen but there were no obvious signs that she’d given birth in the days preceding the mudslide which had engulfed a large area of Guatemala. The Worlds Together team had flown out to the region as soon as the Guatemalan government had declared it a national disaster. That had been four days ago and he knew the chances of them finding many more survivors were decreasing by the hour.
‘Two babies. They were still in their cots and that’s probably what saved their lives, according to the search-and-rescue guys. They think the cots must have floated when the mud started to fill up the nursery.’ Sandy shook his head in amazement. ‘It’s incredible that anyone survived when you see the state of the place. The whole area has been literally swamped by mud.’
‘It’s been a bad incident,’ Rafferty agreed, gently feeling his way down the girl’s body and adding a fractured pelvis to the growing list of her injuries.
‘It’s far worse than I imagined it would be,’ the young male nurse admitted. ‘I know we were told to expect the worst but I was really shocked when I saw the extent of the damage.’
‘It’s always hard to take it all in,’ Rafferty said soberly. ‘That’s why some people find it difficult to cope with this type of work. We lose a lot of new recruits because they can’t handle the sheer scale of a disaster like this.’
‘Oh, I can handle it all right,’ Sandy hastily assured him. ‘It just took a day or so to get my head round it all. Even in the busiest accident-and-emergency department, you don’t get such a concentration of severely injured as we’ve dealt with here.’
Rafferty nodded as he moved around the trolley. A fractured ankle was duly noted this time. ‘It’s the same for all of us, if it’s any consolation.’
‘Really?’ Sandy exclaimed. ‘You mean that you still find it a bit overwhelming at times?’
‘Yes. You certainly shouldn’t let yourself become blasé about the job because that’s when you could find yourself in real trouble.’
‘That’s what Miss Palmer said at my interview. She told me that the minute you feel as though it’s just routine is the time you should stop.’ The younger man frowned. ‘I wasn’t sure what she meant but I think I understand now. You can’t afford to grow complacent because you might forget about the dangers.’
‘That’s right,’ Rafferty said shortly because this second reminder of Natalie, coming on top of the other, had pushed a few internal buttons. He breathed deeply to quell feelings that had been lying dormant for some time. It really wasn’t the right moment to start thinking about how much he missed her.
‘Right, we’ll take her straight to Theatre and do the X-rays there,’ he said briskly. ‘There’s bound to be extensive soft-tissue damage and I don’t want to waste any time. Can you tell Ben that I’ll need him to do the anaesthetic, and let Patsy know that I’d like her to assist me.’
‘Patsy was in Theatre all last night,’ Sandy told him. ‘She’s trying to catch up on her sleep so do you want me to wake her up?’
Rafferty frowned. ‘Better not. What about Lauren?’
‘She’s in Theatre Two with Liam. I’m not sure how long they’ll be yet.’
‘Then it looks like it’s you and me. I know you don’t have a lot of experience in Theatre so do you think you can cope?’
‘Of course,’ Sandy assured him, but Rafferty could tell that he wasn’t nearly as confident as he was pretending to be.
‘OK. Scrub up once you’ve told Ben that I need him.’
He didn’t say anything else because it would serve no purpose to undermine Sandy’s confidence. However, it was worrying to have to rely on staff who lacked the necessary skills. He quickly unzipped the flap and let himself into the scrub area. Each of the theatre tents was really three tents set one inside the other. The first section was where the patients were examined, the second was the scrub area and the third and final section was the actual operating theatre.
Conditions in there were kept sterile thanks to an expensive air-filtration system bought for them by their main sponsor, Palmer Pharmaceuticals. Palmer’s had also paid for the state-of-the-art operating tables and the high-tech lighting equipment that ran off generators. If it weren’t for the company’s generosity, Rafferty knew that Worlds Together wouldn’t be able to carry out its work so effectively. Palmer’s provided most of the money they needed, and that was what lay at the heart of his own problems.
Natalie Palmer, the woman he loved more than life itself, was heiress to the Palmer fortune. Was it any wonder their relationship had faltered?
Three hours later, Rafferty left Theatre. Tossing his gown into a sack, he went straight outside. It was just gone six and the camp was quiet for once. The rest of the team were having dinner and he knew he should join them but he wasn’t hungry. Although he’d done all he could, he hadn’t been able to save the girl and her loss weighed heavily on him.
‘I’m really sorry. I did my best but I just wasn’t up to the job.’
He looked round when Sandy followed him outside. The young nurse’s lack of experience had been very apparent and several times Rafferty had had to tell him what to do. It hadn’t been an ideal situation, by any means, but it hadn’t been Sandy’s fault the girl had died and Rafferty took immediate steps to tell him that.
He sighed as he watched the younger man heading towards the mess tent a short time later. His pep talk might have had the desired effect but it wasn’t right that people should start blaming themselves because they lacked the necessary skills. Ever since Natalie had left the team, they’d had problems finding a suitable replacement and it was galling to know that she was wasting her talents, sitting behind a desk in London. She was a nurse, not a businesswoman, for heaven’s sake!
Rafferty’s expression was grim as he swung round and strode across the compound. It was high time that someone told her that.
CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_f3ffea25-d991-5316-b3d3-2a2c0c36211e)
‘I’M VERY sorry, Miss Palmer, but he’s still refusing to leave. He’s been here for over an hour now and I really don’t know what else I can do.’
Natalie Palmer sighed when she heard the panic in her secretary’s voice. Janet was noted for her calm efficiency but even she was starting to crack under the pressure. ‘Did you explain that I was too busy to see anyone this morning without an appointment?’
‘Yes! But he said that he was prepared to wait all day if necessary.’ Janet lowered her voice so that Natalie had to strain her ears to hear what she was saying. ‘Would you like me to call Security and let them deal with him?’
It was tempting.
Very tempting, indeed!
Natalie hesitated as she weighed up the merits of having Dr Michael James Rafferty ejected from the headquarters of Palmer Pharmaceuticals. After all, why should she worry about the embarrassment it might cause him? Rafferty obviously didn’t care that he was making a spectacle of himself, otherwise he would have left as soon as she’d made it clear that she didn’t intend to see him. No, the truth was that Rafferty was too stubborn to accept that he wasn’t going to get his own way.
Her mouth thinned, because in her opinion Rafferty’s stubbornness was the cause of all their problems. After all, it wasn’t her fault that her family was so rich. If it didn’t worry her then she didn’t see why it should worry him. But he wouldn’t accept that her wealth didn’t matter so long as they loved one another. If he’d been the sort of person to suffer from low self-esteem, she could have understood, but Rafferty certainly wasn’t lacking in confidence. Why should he, when he’d reached the very top of his profession and earned the respect of his peers along the way?
‘Miss Palmer? Are you still there?’
‘Yes. I’m sorry, Janet. I was just trying to decide what to do for the best.’
Natalie hurriedly returned her thoughts to her current predicament. If it needed drastic measures to resolve this problem, she wouldn’t back down. Rafferty couldn’t just turn up at her office and demand to see her—it gave out the completely wrong signals.
Since her father’s heart attack three months ago, she had worked hard to keep Palmer Pharmaceuticals on track. Richard Palmer had warned her there were certain factions within the company who wanted to change how the firm operated. Palmer’s had always donated a large percentage of its profits to charitable ventures and in recent years it had been the main sponsor of Worlds Together. It was a costly undertaking and Natalie knew that several members of the board would prefer to see the money spent elsewhere.
That was the last thing she intended to happen. As a highly skilled nurse-practitioner, she’d been involved with Worlds Together since its inception and knew how valuable its work was. She really wasn’t prepared to jeopardise its future by allowing her authority to be undermined in any way.
‘I think it would be best if you called Security,’ she told Janet, trying not to think about how much she longed to see Rafferty. He’d made his position abundantly clear before she’d come back to London and she doubted if he’d changed his mind. ‘Ask them to escort Dr Rafferty—’
She broke off when her office door suddenly opened and Rafferty appeared. He gave her a broad smile but she could see the glitter in his eyes, and a shiver ran through her because it was obvious that he hadn’t appreciated being kept waiting.
‘Hello, Natalie. How are you?’
‘Get out!’
‘Tut-tut, that isn’t very polite, is it? And after I’ve spent so much time waiting to see you, too.’ He glanced at his watch and arched a sleek dark brow. ‘Over an hour. I am impressed. I didn’t think you’d hold out that long, but it will teach me not to underestimate you in future, won’t it, sweetheart?’
‘I am not your sweetheart,’ she told him, coldly enunciating every word.
‘Not now, maybe, but you were once and it wasn’t that long ago either.’
He closed the door and slid home the bolt, shaking his head when she immediately reached for the phone. ‘If you’re thinking of calling Security, I wouldn’t bother. I’m sure your secretary will do it for you.’
Natalie slammed the receiver back into its cradle. ‘Then why not spare yourself the embarrassment of being thrown out? There’s the door, Rafferty. Make sure you close it again on your way out.’
‘Cute. You’ve obviously been sharpening your tongue while I’ve been hanging around outside.’
He laughed as he crossed the room and Natalie felt her heart give a nervous little flutter. It was three months since she’d seen him and it struck her all over again just how handsome he was. With that crisp black hair, those deep green eyes and chiselled features, Rafferty could turn any woman’s head and she certainly wasn’t immune to his charms. However, she doubted if this was a social visit and didn’t intend to make the mistake of falling under his spell again that day.
‘My secretary has already explained that I’m extremely busy. I really don’t have time for this, Rafferty, so if you want to see me then I suggest you make an appointment like everyone else does.’
‘But I’m not “everyone else”, am I?’ He stopped in front of her desk and regarded her steadily. ‘You and I go back a long way, Natalie, and I think that gives me certain rights.’
‘What sort of rights?’ she demanded scornfully.
‘The right to tell one another the truth, for starters.’
He leant across the desk and she steeled herself when she saw how grim he looked all of a sudden. She had a feeling that she wasn’t going to like what he had to say, but she couldn’t think of a way to stop him.
‘You’ve sold out, Natalie. You’ve swapped a career where you were doing an awful lot of good for one spent making money. Now, maybe you enjoy the cut and thrust of business and get a real buzz from it—I really don’t know. But can you put your hand on your heart and swear that what you’re doing now is anywhere near as fulfilling as nursing was?’
‘I’m not listening to this,’ she began, but he ignored her as he carried on.
‘Of course you can’t. And if you’d just admit that you were wrong to take on this job, you could come back to what you do best.’
‘Wrong?’
‘Yes!’ There was a touch of impatience in his voice now. ‘Oh, I’m sure you’ve done your best but you have to face facts, and fact number one is that you’re not a businesswoman. There must be hundreds of people better qualified than you who could do this job.’
‘You have no idea what this job entails!’ she shot back, scarcely able to believe his arrogance. Just who did he think he was to decide that she wasn’t making a success of running the company?
He shrugged, obviously unfazed by her anger. ‘I know that it involves making a lot of money.’
‘And that’s all there is to it? Making money?’ She tossed back her head and laughed. ‘You haven’t a clue, Rafferty! You’ve no idea what goes into running this company because if you had, you might change your mind.’
‘About the challenges entailed in making vast amounts of profit for its shareholders?’ He smiled thinly. ‘I don’t think so. Somehow I don’t think it would hold much appeal for me.’
‘How do you know when you’ve never tried it?’
‘I know that making money can never equate with saving lives. That’s what you’re trained to do, in case you’ve forgotten. You save people’s lives. You care for them when they’re sick and you make them better.’
He glanced around the beautifully appointed office with its stunning view over the River Thames and she could see the contempt on his face when he turned back to her. ‘Can you honestly say that what you’re doing now is more important than that? Because if you can, you’re not the woman I thought you were.’
Natalie felt a stabbing pain pierce her heart. Was her worth only to be measured by the number of lives she saved? She pushed back her chair and stood up, unwilling to sit there and listen to anything else.
‘You’ve said what you came to say and now I think you should leave.’
‘I’m not leaving until I get a proper answer from you.’
‘No, what you mean, Rafferty, is that you’re not leaving until I agree with you. That’s why you came, isn’t it? Because you intended to…bully me into falling in with your wishes!’
‘Bully you?’
He looked taken aback by the accusation but it was of little consolation. She couldn’t believe how painful it was to know that he valued her more as a nurse than a woman. Even though they’d never been able to resolve their differences about her family’s fortune, the one thought she’d clung to had been that it had proved he’d loved her for herself. Now even that was in doubt, it seemed.
‘What else would you call it? Coming here and demanding that I admit I was wrong to help my father…That’s typical bullying tactics in my eyes.’
‘I didn’t say that you were wrong to help your father.’
‘No?’ She laughed shortly, too hurt to take a rational view of events. ‘It sounded like it to me, but maybe I’m wrong about that, too. We can’t all be as perfect as you, Rafferty, unfortunately.’
‘I’m far from perfect,’ he ground out. ‘I’ve made more mistakes in my life than I can count. That’s why I can’t bear to see you making a mistake like this. You shouldn’t be here, Natalie. You should be doing the work you’re trained to do, not playing the big executive in this fancy office.’
‘I’m not playing, I assure you. I admit that I’m having to learn the job as I go along, and that I shall never be anywhere near as good at it as my father is. But I do my best and, despite what you believe, it makes a difference to people’s lives, just in a different way.’
‘By clinching deals and making money?’ He laughed harshly. ‘Not quite the cutting edge kind of work you’re used to, but maybe you’ve forgotten what it’s like to work at the sharp end. Maybe you need a reminder of what’s really important in this life.’
‘I don’t need any reminders, thank you very much.’
‘I disagree. It’s obvious that somewhere during the past three months you’ve lost your way. The question now is whether you have the guts to do something about it.’
‘What do you mean by that?’
‘Prove that you know what you’re doing by coming on our next aid mission. If you still feel that working here is more important after that then I swear that I’ll never try to persuade you to change your mind again. Are you up to it, though, Natalie? That’s the big question.’
Rafferty held his breath. Even though he’d never planned on issuing such a challenge when he’d set out that morning, he realised all of a sudden that it might be the only way to make her see sense. If he could get her back into the field, she’d soon realise what was important to her…
‘Was that a challenge?’
Her tone was clipped and he winced at the supercilious note it held. It was unheard of for Natalie to speak to anyone that way. Despite her background, she had never put on airs and graces and had always treated everyone in the same friendly fashion. He must have really upset her to arouse such a response and it didn’t make him feel good to know that. He had to console himself with the thought that he was doing this for her own benefit.
‘If you prefer to see it as a challenge, it’s fine by me.’
‘And if I accept, what are you going to do in return?’
She walked around the desk and sat down on one of the low leather sofas in front of the window. Rafferty felt a wave of heat shoot through him as he watched her settle herself comfortably against the cushions. She was wearing a pale grey suit which he knew without needing to see the label must have come from some exclusive designer’s collection. The jacket fitted her like a glove, moulding her full breasts and offering a tantalising glimpse of cleavage when she bent forward to help herself to a grape from the fruit bowl on the coffee-table. It was obvious that she wasn’t wearing anything under the jacket apart from a bra and his body responded in time-honoured fashion to the knowledge.
‘Why should I need to do anything?’ he countered, hoping she couldn’t tell what was happening to him.
‘Because it’s only fair, of course.’
She popped the grape into her mouth and crossed her legs. It was done with the utmost decorum but he had to stifle a groan when he heard the whisper of silk. Although most women didn’t bother wearing stockings nowadays, Natalie had always preferred to wear them. In fact, they’d enjoyed many a happy hour divesting her of them…
‘If I accept your challenge, you should accept mine. Unless you’re too scared, of course.’
That got his immediate attention. Rafferty blanked out the delicious images that had been playing inside his head and stared at her. ‘I’m not scared, Natalie. If the only way to make you see sense is by accepting your challenge, I’ll do it.’
‘Good. That’s what I hoped you’d say.’
She stood up and came towards him, stopping so close that he could feel the warmth of her body all down the length of his. Trying to control his rioting libido at that point was a waste of time so he gave up. If she was deliberately trying to torment him, she was making a damn good job of it, he thought ruefully.
‘I’ll expect you tonight at six. Don’t be late. It really isn’t good form to arrive after the main guest. Oh, and you’ll need a dinner jacket, too. I’d hate you to feel embarrassed by not being properly dressed.’
She swished past him before he could say anything, shot back the bolt and opened the door. A couple of burly security guards rushed into the room and grasped him by the arms. Rafferty tried to shake them off but soon realised that he was wasting his time. Anyway, he’d be damned if he’d give her the satisfaction of watching him struggle.
‘Escort Dr Rafferty from the building and inform the staff on Reception that he isn’t to be admitted again today.’ She turned to Janet, who had followed the men into the room. ‘Dr Rafferty will need a pass so can you make all the necessary arrangements, please? I’ll sign the authorisation forms myself.’
‘A pass?’ the secretary repeated uncertainly, glancing at him.
Rafferty really couldn’t blame her for being confused, because he was feeling a bit that way himself. He dug in his heels as the men tried to hustle him out of the room.
‘What the hell is going on, Natalie? Why are you ordering a pass for me when you’re having me thrown out?’
‘Because you can’t just come in here and throw your weight around. It really isn’t on, Rafferty, and I’m not prepared to put up with it.’ She smiled calmly at him as she went and sat down behind her desk. ‘However, a pass is essential if you’re to complete the challenge I’ve set you.’
‘What challenge?’ he demanded as the men hauled him through the open door. ‘Natalie…!’
‘That you spend a month in my world and see how well you cope.’
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_67b3765a-4657-5bfc-9d47-04a71172cc03)
‘LADIES and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce our guest of honour this evening.’
Polite applause rippled around the room as the man stepped up to the podium. Natalie glanced at Rafferty and bit back a chuckle when she saw the expression of utter boredom on his face. It was the local business association’s annual dinner, a lengthy affair which normally she avoided attending. She hadn’t been planning on going that night either, until Rafferty had bulldozed his way into her office and she’d realised it would be the perfect way to pay him back. If he had all those preconceived ideas about how she’d been spending her time recently, why disabuse him?
He must have sensed she was watching him because he suddenly turned and her heart missed a beat when she saw the awareness in his eyes. She’d pulled out all the stops that night and knew she looked her best. The red gown she was wearing was one of her favourites, although she’d never worn it before when she’d been out with Rafferty. Most of the time they’d spent together had been at some disaster spot or other and there’d been few opportunities there to dress up. It struck her all of a sudden just how little time they’d spent doing the normal things a couple usually did together. Their relationship had revolved around their work and they’d just snatched the odd hour as and when they could.
Would things have turned out differently if they’d had more time to themselves? she wondered. Everyone was under a lot of pressure when they were away on a mission. Consequently emotions ran high, and it could explain why they’d never been able to reach a compromise.
‘How much longer do we have to stay here?’ he demanded, leaning over so that he could whisper the question in her ear.
‘It’s not the done thing to leave before the main guest has finished speaking,’ she informed him tersely. She’d always believed that their failure to agree had been because of his stubbornness and it was worrying to wonder if she’d been wrong to hold him solely responsible when there might have been other factors involved.
‘It will be midnight at this rate before he runs out of steam,’ Rafferty declared in disgust. ‘Who on earth is interested in the profit and loss ratios that can be achieved in various European countries?’
‘A lot of people. You might believe that making a profit is the devil’s work but your views aren’t shared by the majority of people here tonight.’
‘I never said it was wrong to make a profit,’ he denied, frowning.
‘No? It certainly sounded like it to me earlier today.’
She smiled sweetly at him then turned her attention to the speaker but it was difficult to concentrate when her mind kept returning to the thought that she might have been wrong to blame Rafferty for their problems. It was a relief when the speech ended and everyone started talking. Natalie knew most of the people on their table because she’d met them when she’d acted as hostess for her father. Richard Palmer was a renowned host and his cocktail parties were always well attended.
The man on her right asked her how her father was so she turned to speak to him, aware that Rafferty was talking to the woman seated next to him. She could just catch snippets of their conversation, something about an opera which had been a sell-out. Someone else joined in, adding their comments on the production, until the whole table ended up discussing its merits. Natalie smiled when a woman seated opposite her asked if she’d seen it.
‘I’ve not had time, I’m afraid. I’ve been too busy trying to find my way around Palmer’s so I’ve not been to the theatre for ages.’
The woman smiled sympathetically then turned her attention to Rafferty. ‘And how about you, Dr Rafferty? Have you managed to get tickets for it yet? It’s a marvellous production, so much better than Antonini’s version. If you saw it, I’m sure you’d agree.’
‘I’m afraid I’m not really an opera buff,’ Rafferty replied evenly. ‘My visits to the theatre tend to have a rather different purpose behind them.’
Everyone laughed at the quip, as he’d obviously intended them to. However, Natalie could tell there was something bothering him. She frowned to herself, because she had no idea what was wrong. They’d just been making conversation, the kind of small talk that usually happened at these events, so why did Rafferty look so on edge?
The band began to play so, under cover of the general hubbub that broke out as people got up to dance, she leant over and asked him, ‘Are you all right?’
‘Fine. Why shouldn’t I be?’
His tone was bland enough but she could tell from the tautness of his jaw that he was still very tense. She shrugged, feeling her way with care because she didn’t want to make matters worse by saying the wrong thing. ‘You just looked a bit…well, uneasy when we were talking about the opera.’
‘Did I?’ He shrugged. ‘Probably because there wasn’t a lot I could contribute. Opera is something that has passed me by, I’m afraid.’
‘Oh, I see.’
Natalie wasn’t sure she did see, but there was little she could say when he obviously didn’t want to talk about it any more. Maybe he wasn’t interested in opera, as he’d claimed, but his reaction seemed to her to be just a little too much. She breathed a sigh of relief when a waiter appeared and informed her there was a phone call for her in Reception because it provided a welcome distraction.
She quickly excused herself, as she had a good idea who it might be. Since she’d been back in London, she’d been helping out at a drop-in clinic for the many homeless teenagers who lived on the streets of the city. The clinic was staffed by a team of volunteer nurses and doctors and provided a lifeline for the youngsters who were often loath to seek medical help elsewhere. Although she wasn’t due to work that night, she’d made sure they had the phone number of the hotel where the dinner was being held in case anything cropped up. The reception staff had transferred the call to a private booth in the foyer so she went straight there and picked up the receiver.
‘Natalie Palmer.’
‘Hi, Natalie, it’s Helen. I’m sorry to phone you but we have a bit of a problem. It’s Danny Kennedy and he’s in a pretty bad way, I’m afraid.’
Natalie sighed. Danny was a regular visitor to the clinic. He was in his early teens and had run away from home after his parents had split up and his mother’s new partner had beaten him up. He’d suffered from asthma all his life and living on the streets was making the problem worse.
‘Has he been taking his medication?’ she asked worriedly.
‘He says he has but it doesn’t sound like it to me,’ Helen explained. ‘I really think he should be admitted to hospital but he’s refusing to go. I thought you might be able to persuade him to see sense.’
‘I’ll try.’ She checked her watch. ‘If I leave straight away, I should be with you in about ten minutes’ time. If he gets any worse, though, call an ambulance and we’ll argue about it later.’
‘Will do. Thanks, Natalie.’
Natalie left the booth, trying to decide what she should tell Rafferty. He had no idea that she’d been working at the clinic since she’d come back to London and she wasn’t sure if she wanted him to know about it either.
‘Is everything all right?’
She jumped when the subject of her thoughts suddenly materialised at her side. She turned to face him, feeling her heart give an appreciative little flutter before she could stop it. The formal dinner suit he was wearing made the most of his dark good looks, emphasising the width of his shoulders and the trimness of his waist. Rarely had she seen him wearing anything other than scrubs or jeans and she had to admit that he looked great. However, how he looked wasn’t the issue. She was more concerned about what she was going to tell him.
Her father had instilled into her a sense of duty from an early age. He had insisted that it wasn’t enough just to be rich and that she had to prove her worth by giving something back to the world. Natalie had never had a problem with that idea because it wasn’t in her nature to idle away her time. She enjoyed helping people, and loved nursing, so she had tried to live up to his high expectations of her. However, whilst she was prepared to accept that kind of attitude from her father, she didn’t see why she should have to justify herself to Rafferty. She was still smarting at the thought that he valued her more as a nurse than anything else, and certainly didn’t intend to make it appear as though she was trying to curry favour with him!
‘Something has cropped up and I’m going to have to leave,’ she said shortly, heading for the cloakroom.
‘It’s not your father, is it? He hasn’t taken a turn for the worse?’
‘No, nothing like that,’ she replied evasively, handing her ticket to the attendant.
‘But it must be important if you’re rushing off.’
‘It is.’
Natalie took her coat from the woman and hurried across the foyer but if she’d hoped to deter him, obviously she’d failed. He followed her outside, his expression turning thunderous as he watched her flag down a passing taxi.
‘Are you going to tell me what’s going on?’
‘No.’ She opened the cab door and got in. ‘I’ll see you in the office tomorrow morning. Your pass should be ready so you’ll just need to ask the staff on Reception for it when you arrive.’
She started to shut the door but he was too quick for her. His green eyes flashed as he bent and looked at her.
‘I’m asking you one last time where you’re going, Natalie.’
‘And I’m telling you one last time that it hasn’t anything to do with you. You gave up the right to have a say in what I do when you told me that our relationship wasn’t going to work.’
She went to close the door again and this time he didn’t try to stop her. She told the driver the address of the clinic then sat back in the seat. She could feel Rafferty staring at her as the cab drove away but she didn’t look at him, didn’t dare in case she weakened. She loved him so much, but it wasn’t enough. He had to love her too—unconditionally and without any strings attached—and the likelihood of that happening seemed even more remote after what he’d told her that day.
She closed her eyes, feeling the pain welling inside her again. She might be a rich man’s daughter, she might be a nurse, but she was first and foremost a woman and she wanted a man who would love her for herself.
Helen must have been watching for her to arrive because she came hurrying out of the clinic as soon as the taxi drew up. She whistled when Natalie turned round after paying the driver.
‘Wowee! That’s some dress, girl. You must have really socked it to him in that get-up. I bet he’s still reeling!’
Natalie’s mood immediately lifted and she laughed. She’d become good friends with the attractive Anglo-Caribbean nurse since she’d been working at the clinic and was hoping to persuade her to join Worlds Together at some point. ‘If he is then he managed to hide it pretty well. The last I saw of him, he was glaring after the taxi and looking as though he was about to spit tacks!’
‘No wonder.’ Helen grinned as she opened the clinic’s door and ushered her inside. ‘The poor guy probably thought he was in for a night of passion when he saw you in that outfit, and what do you go and do? Only run out on him!’ She shook her head. ‘That wasn’t very kind, was it?’
‘Tough. He shouldn’t have counted his chickens, should he?’
Natalie refused to feel guilty, because in her opinion she had nothing to feel guilty about. She hadn’t promised Rafferty a night of passion—despite what he might have been expecting.
Her heart lurched at the thought of how the evening might have ended if the situation had been different. The one thing they’d never had any problem with had been sex, and she doubted if either of them could create the same kind of magic with anyone else. However, although the physical side of their relationship may have been perfect, the rest of it certainly hadn’t, she reminded herself. There would need to be a lot of changes made before she would consider jumping into bed with Rafferty again…
‘So how’s Danny doing?’ she said, swiftly changing the subject. The odds on her and Rafferty sleeping together again were approximately zero so there was no point even thinking about it. ‘Any improvement yet?’
‘No. If anything, I’d say he’s slightly worse.’ Helen sighed as she pushed open the door that separated the reception area from the treatment rooms.
The clinic was based in one of the arches beneath a railway bridge and the sound of the trains thundering overhead provided a constant background noise. The space had been used as a garage before it had been taken over by the clinic and on warm evenings the smell of diesel still seeped from the walls. Bright strip-lighting and plenty of white paint had helped to dispel the gloom, however, and the staff did their best to make everyone feel welcome. Maybe it wasn’t the ideal place for a medical centre but the youngsters came, and that was what mattered most of all.
‘I’ve put Danny in the end cubicle because it’s a bit quieter down there,’ Helen informed her. ‘Piers was supposed to be here tonight but he phoned just before you arrived to say that he’s having to work a double shift because they’re short-staffed at the hospital.’
‘So that means Danny hasn’t seen a doctor yet?’ Natalie clarified.
‘Not yet.’ Helen glanced round when one of the other nurses called over to her. ‘I’ll see what Suzy wants then come and find you.’
‘Fine.’
Natalie made her way down the long, arched room to the very end cubicle, which was actually more substantial than it sounded, with solid hardboard walls and a proper door. She tapped on the door and went in, smiling as she saw Danny’s eyes widen in surprise when he saw what she was wearing.
‘I only wear this outfit for my very favourite patients, I’ll have you know,’ she told him, laughing as she twirled round so he could get a good look at her gown.
He removed the oxygen mask he was wearing and smiled shyly back at her. It had been a couple of weeks since he’d visited the clinic and she could tell that he’d lost a lot of weight in that time. He was wearing an old T-shirt and she could see how his chest was heaving from the effort of drawing air into his lungs.
‘The other guys will be really jealous,’ he wheezed.
‘And so they should be,’ she retorted, going over to the bed. She took hold of his wrist and checked his pulse, frowning when she felt how fast it was racing. It was obviously a very bad attack and she really couldn’t understand why it had happened. ‘So when did this all start?’
‘A couple of hours ago…although I’ve not felt well for a few days,’ he admitted reluctantly.
‘And have you been taking your medication like I told you to do?’ she asked, sitting down on the side of the bed.
‘Uh-huh,’ he muttered, avoiding her eyes.
Natalie sighed. ‘Look, Danny, I’m not going to tell you off if you haven’t been taking it…well, not much, at least. But I need to find out why this has happened tonight. I thought we’d sorted you out the last time you came to see us but maybe the drugs we prescribed for you aren’t doing their job properly and we need to try you on something else.’
‘The drugs are OK,’ he mumbled, but she could see tears welling into his eyes.
She squeezed his hand, hating to see him looking so upset. He was far too young to be living on the streets and she wished she could do more to help him, but she’d been warned before she’d started working at the clinic that she mustn’t try to interfere. A lot of the youngsters they treated would stop attending the clinic if they thought there was a chance that the authorities would be contacted.
‘So what’s the problem?’ she asked gently. ‘If the drugs have been working, why have you had such a bad attack tonight?’
‘Because I haven’t taken my tablets for the past couple of days,’ Danny admitted. ‘I…um…lost them.’
‘Lost them?’ She stared at him in surprise. ‘But I thought you always kept them in your pocket so they’d be safe.’
‘I do. I mean, I did…’ He tailed off and she shook her head when she realised what had happened.
‘Did someone take the drugs off you, Danny?’
‘Yes,’ he whispered, biting his lip.
Natalie tried to hide her frustration although it wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. Life on the streets was tough and drugs of any description were a valuable commodity. Several of the youngsters they’d treated recently had experienced the same thing and it was starting to look as though their patients were being targeted deliberately.
‘Did you go to the police and report what had happened?’ she asked without much hope.
Danny shook his head. ‘They’d have beaten me up again if I’d done that.’
‘Again? Are you saying that the people who took your medication beat you up as well?’
‘Yes. They kicked me about and that’s why I gave them the tablets. I think they might have busted one of my ribs because it’s been really hurting.’
‘And I don’t suppose you had anyone look at it, did you?’ Natalie said wearily, and he shook his head. ‘Right, I need to check you over but first of all I want you to put that oxygen mask back on.’
She helped the boy replace the mask then unbuttoned his shirt, grimacing when she saw the yellowing remains of bruising down the left side of his chest. He’d obviously taken a severe beating because she could tell how much it hurt when she gently explored the area. He’d definitely broken a rib—possibly two—and she wished she could get hold of the thugs who’d done this to him.
She buttoned his shirt again and looked sternly at him. ‘You’ve got at least one broken rib and you should have come to the clinic if you didn’t want to go to hospital.’
‘It hurt too much to walk,’ he mumbled through the mask.
‘I bet it did.’ She looked round when Helen appeared. ‘Young Danny here has a broken rib. Apparently, someone beat him up and took his medication off him. That explains why he’s in such a state tonight.’
‘That’s the third time this week it’s happened to one of our kids!’ Helen exclaimed angrily. ‘What is the world coming to?’
‘I shudder to think. Anyway, I think he should be checked over by a doctor—’ She broke off when Danny suddenly interrupted her.
‘I don’t want to go to the hospital! They’ll give me another thumping if they think I’ve told on them.’
There was genuine terror in his voice and Natalie frowned. ‘Is that what they told you would happen?’
‘Yes. And they meant it, too. They’ve given other people a real going over when they thought they’d told on them.’
Danny looked exhausted when he’d finished speaking and Natalie realised that it would do more harm than good to try and make him reconsider. She drew Helen aside while they decided what they should do.
‘Is there any chance we could keep him here overnight? I know we don’t usually allow anyone to stay in the clinic but Danny’s far too ill to go back on the streets tonight. I’d feel much happier if he was in hospital, of course, but we can’t force him to go if he doesn’t want to.’
‘I suppose we could bend the rules just this once,’ Helen agreed reluctantly. ‘Although obviously we can’t leave him here on his own. He seems a nice enough kid but you just never know, so someone will have to stay here with him.’
‘I’ll stay,’ Natalie offered immediately.
‘Are you sure? It’s not even your night to work…’
‘That doesn’t matter. It was my decision to keep him here so I should be the one to stay with him.’ She shrugged. ‘Anyway, I’ve nothing better to do so I may as well be here as at home.’
‘Fair enough, although it’s not what you’d call a fair trade, is it?’ Helen grinned when she looked blankly at her. ‘A night in the clinic instead of a night of passion?’
Natalie laughed dutifully. It wasn’t worth explaining that a night of passion hadn’t been in the offing. She found something more suitable to wear than the red evening gown and changed in one of the empty cubicles. The clinic was open until midnight every day of the week and there was a steady stream of youngsters needing attention until they shut up shop.
She said goodbye to the others then went to check on Danny. He still didn’t look well and once again she tried to persuade him to let her phone for an ambulance, but he was adamant that he didn’t want to go to hospital. In the end she had to bow to his wishes, although she made up her mind that if he hadn’t improved by the morning, she would have to reconsider.
She went into the next cubicle and lay down on the bed, fully dressed, and dozed until it was time to check on him again. That set the pattern for the night and she was glad when morning came. The clinic opened again at eight and she had everything ready when the day staff arrived.
Danny seemed a little better thanks to the drugs and a night spent in a proper bed so Natalie handed him over to Sam Cummins, one of their volunteer doctors, then changed back into her evening dress and went home, to find Rafferty sitting on her doorstep. She took a deep breath as she got out of the cab because if the expression on his face was anything to go by, he wasn’t in the best of moods either.
Rafferty had gone straight home after Natalie had driven away in the taxi and had spent the night pacing the floor of his flat. The thought that she was meeting some other guy had been more than he could bear but how else could he explain why she’d refused to tell him where she was going? By the time dawn broke, he had been almost beside himself with frustration and had known he had to do something to rectify the situation. Maybe it wasn’t too late for them to work things out? Maybe they could find a solution to their problems if they tried hard enough? Maybe…
To hell with maybe, he’d thought grimly, heading for the door. He was going to see her and get this sorted out!
He took a taxi to her home and rang the bell, unsurprised when he didn’t get an answer. He sat down on the step to wait—she would have to come home at some point. This area of London was one of the most exclusive parts of the city and he sighed as he looked at the expensive houses surrounding the elegant, tree-lined square. He’d worked hard to reach his present position as chief of surgery at one of London’s most prestigious teaching hospitals, but even on his salary, he couldn’t have afforded to buy a property here. Only the very rich could afford to live in these houses and it was an unwelcome reminder of the difference between his and Natalie’s lifestyles. How could he hope to make their relationship work when they were worlds apart?
The thought nagged away at him so that by the time she appeared, a couple of hours later, he’d reached boiling point. He stood up as she crossed the pavement, feeling his heart ache when he saw the shadows under her beautiful grey eyes. She looked as though she hadn’t slept a wink and it confirmed his suspicions about what she’d been doing. She’d spent the night with another man and the thought was like rubbing salt into an open wound.
‘I thought I’d already explained that I would see you in the office,’ she said coolly, taking her front-door key out of her bag.
‘You did.’ Rafferty ground his teeth because he wasn’t accustomed to being spoken to in that offhand fashion. ‘However, I’m sure you would prefer to keep your private life away from the office, wouldn’t you?’
‘That’s very thoughtful of you, Rafferty.’ She smiled at him as though she was acknowledging a favour from an underling and his already-volatile temper rocketed another few notches up the scale. ‘However, quite apart from the fact that my private life has nothing to do with you, I really don’t have time to talk to you about it right now. I need to get ready for work, so whatever you want to say to me will have to wait, I’m afraid.’
She opened the front door but if she thought he was going to meekly turn tail and leave, she could think again. Rafferty followed her into the house, ignoring her protests as he closed the door behind him.
‘If you don’t have much time to spare, I’ll keep it brief. Where were you last night, Natalie?’
‘I really don’t think it has anything to do with you.’
‘Were you with someone else?’ he demanded as jealousy got the better of him. He’d spent the whole damned night imagining what she’d got up to after she’d left him at that dinner. He’d thought about it so much, in fact, that it was picture-perfect in his head: She’d gone to some other guy’s home where they’d had a glass of wine and discussed subjects they were both knowledgeable about, like opera for instance. He hadn’t a clue about opera or ballet or any other such elitist topics, but he’d bet his last pound that this fellow knew everything there was to know about them. Then after the wine had been drunk and the conversation had petered out, no doubt they’d found other ways to entertain themselves…In bed!
‘Someone else,’ she repeated woodenly.
‘Yes!’ He glared at her, wondering why she was trying to pretend that she didn’t understand when it was perfectly clear to him what had been going on. ‘You spent the night with some other guy, didn’t you? And that’s why you wouldn’t tell me where you were going last night.’
‘I see. You seem to have it all worked out, don’t you? I wouldn’t tell you where I was going—ipso facto, I must have been seeing someone else.’
Rafferty frowned when he heard the hurt in her voice because it was the last thing he’d expected to hear. ‘Are you saying that you didn’t spend the night with someone else?’
‘Not at all.’ She placed her bag on the gilded console table beside the front door and looked steadily at him. ‘If there’s nothing else that you wanted to say, I really think it would be best if you left now.’
‘I’m not leaving until we’ve sorted this out,’ he said firmly, as much for his own benefit as hers. So maybe it felt as though he’d been kicked in the guts to have his suspicions confirmed but he would get over it. Eventually. It was far more important that they sorted this out before any more mistakes were made, because that was what last night had been, of course: a mistake. If Natalie had spent the night with another man, it was because she’d thought their relationship was over. But was that what he really wanted?
They’d split up before, of course—several times—but had always got back together. Rafferty realised with a sinking heart that he’d assumed it would happen this time, too. However, it appeared that he might have taken too much for granted. Natalie obviously believed it was the end for them because she was looking for someone to replace him, and the thought was too much to bear. He didn’t want to lose her! He had to find a way to convince her that their relationship could still work…
Rafferty jumped when there was a sudden thunderous pounding on the door behind him. It sounded as though they were being attacked by a hoarde of marauding invaders but Natalie—surprisingly—didn’t appear the least concerned as she stepped around him and calmly opened the front door. His jaw dropped when he saw a couple of burly security guards standing on the step, because it was like watching a rerun of what had happened in her office the day before.
‘We have reason to believe that an alarm has been triggered in this house,’ one of the men curtly informed them, stepping into the hall.
‘I didn’t hear an alarm,’ Rafferty said, glancing at Natalie in surprise.
‘It’s a silent alarm—an extra security measure my father had put in place in case anyone forces his way in when I’m entering the house.’ She smiled sweetly as she nodded to the men. ‘I did tell you that it would be better if you left.’
Before he knew what was happening, Rafferty suddenly found himself being hustled out of the door. There was a van parked by the kerb and he swore when he realised the guards were taking him to it. He shot a glance over his shoulder in time to see Natalie waggle her fingers at him, then the men were pushing him into the back of the van.
He sat down on the seat as he was instructed to do because it wouldn’t achieve anything to argue with them. However, he found it difficult to believe that she’d pulled the same stunt on him again. By the time the van drew up in front of the headquarters of the security firm, he was beside himself with fury and it didn’t help when he was brusquely informed that Miss Palmer had telephoned to say that, as she didn’t intend to press charges, he was free to leave.
Rafferty went back to his flat and made straight for his bedroom, where he took a suitcase out of the cupboard. He’d arranged to take some leave after he’d returned from Guatemala so he wasn’t due back at the hospital until the end of the month. Although he hadn’t planned on going away, a break would do him good. A few days’ R & R might help to restore some order to his life…
And what about Natalie? a small voice taunted. Was he going to give up at the first hurdle, or was he going to do what he’d set out to do and get her back to nursing? When push came to shove, was he a man or a mouse?
His mouth compressed because he’d never considered himself to be a coward before. However, cowardice came in many different guises and he couldn’t deny that he was terrified of getting hurt. He had always guarded his emotions but he must put aside his fears if he was to achieve his objective. Natalie was a superb nurse and he had to convince her that she was wasting her talents. Just because he couldn’t handle the thought of her being with another man, that wasn’t a good enough reason to give up and he would bitterly regret it in years to come. He owed it to the rest of the Worlds Together team to bring her back into the fold.
He shoved the suitcase back into the cupboard and slammed the door. If Natalie thought she’d got rid of him then she was in for a shock!
CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_2a3c573f-c88b-5549-ab11-8b208e5d22b0)
‘THERE’S a board meeting at two so I’ll take an early lunch today. Can you make sure that everyone has a copy of that report I prepared, please, Janet?’
Natalie sighed as her secretary assured her it would be done and hurried away. It had been difficult to concentrate on work since she’d arrived at the office. She kept thinking about what had happened that morning and the awful things Rafferty had said to her. How could he believe that she’d slept with someone else? Didn’t he know that she loved him and that the thought of sleeping with someone else was totally abhorrent? Or was he judging her by his own actions perhaps?
She got up and went to the window, too on edge to sit while thoughts like that plagued her. It was a beautiful day yet she could derive none of her usual pleasure from the view over the river. Had Rafferty slept with someone else since they’d parted, and was that why he’d leapt to such a conclusion that morning?
She didn’t want to believe it but neither could she dismiss the idea out of hand. After all, Rafferty was a very attractive man and there would be no shortage of volunteers if he needed company. Had he found solace after their break-up in some other woman’s arms?
‘Sorry I’m late. I got held up but I’ll make sure I’m here on time in future.’
Natalie swung round when Rafferty suddenly appeared in her office. She’d never expected him to turn up after the latest stunt she’d pulled and it was hard to hide her consternation as he came towards her.
‘You were expecting me, I hope?’ he said smoothly, one dark brow arching. ‘There haven’t been any changes made to our arrangements?’
‘I…um…no. Of course not,’ she replied testily, immediately on the defensive.
‘Good.’ He stopped in front of her, smiling as he fingered the badge pinned to the lapel of his suit jacket. ‘I see I’ve been awarded top-level security clearance. I’m flattered by your faith in my integrity.’
‘You’ll need full clearance if you’re going to complete this challenge I’ve set you,’ she informed him curtly. She went back to her desk and sat down, riffling through the letters Janet had left for her to sign while she tried to get herself under control. If Rafferty could handle this situation, so could she.
‘So what’s on the agenda today?’
He pulled up a chair and sat down opposite her, his face betraying nothing more than friendly interest, and Natalie frowned. It was completely out of character for him to take this relaxed approach after what she’d done, so it was hard to know how to respond.
‘There’s a board meeting this afternoon,’ she explained, deciding it was easier to follow his lead and behave as though nothing had happened.
‘Something to look forward to,’ he observed dryly, crossing one long leg over the other and treating her to a condescending smile.
‘It should be interesting,’ she said evenly, refusing to rise to the bait.
‘Hmm, I suppose it depends what you consider interesting.’
Natalie bit back her sharp retort although she knew the meeting was going to be a difficult one. It had been called by a member of the board who was strongly opposed to the support Palmer’s gave to Worlds Together as well as their other charitable ventures. It would need careful handling to convince everyone to continue funding the projects but she didn’t intend to explain that to him.
‘It does indeed. However, the board meeting isn’t until two o’clock so this morning I was planning on visiting the research lab. We may as well go straight up there now, in fact.’
‘I didn’t realise there was a laboratory in the building,’ he said in surprise as she stood up.
‘We do most of our major research here, although we do have other laboratories, of course. They’re used mainly for testing the various products we manufacture.’
She led the way from the office and went straight to the lift. ‘Security is always a major issue when you’re developing a new drug and we’ve found it best to keep everything under one roof. There’s less risk of any information leaking out this way.’
‘It makes sense. Are you working on something new at the moment?’ he asked, and she smiled faintly when she heard the curiosity in his voice. Despite his determination to view Palmer’s in the worst possible light, he couldn’t help being interested.
‘We’re developing a new drug to treat Hansen’s disease.’ The lift arrived and she stepped inside, pressing the button for the sixth floor, which was where the research laboratory was sited.
‘Because of the increased resistance to dapsone?’ he queried, and she nodded.
‘Yes. A lot of people don’t realise that leprosy is still a major health issue in many parts of the world, like Africa and Asia. They assume it was eradicated centuries ago but, sadly, that isn’t the case. As you know, the bacteria that cause the disease have become increasingly resistant to dapsone and it’s been standard practice for a number of years to prescribe a combination of dapsone, rifampicin and clofazimine to treat the disease. Obviously, this increases the treatment cost per patient quite considerably and in turn puts an added burden on the health-care budgets of the countries involved. We’re hoping this new drug we’re developing will do the job on its own and cut costs.’
‘It would be a step in the right direction if it works, but surely it’s an extremely costly undertaking to develop a new drug? Clinical trials alone must cost a fortune and I can’t see Palmer’s or any other pharmaceutical company wanting to spend millions developing a product which might take years to pay for itself. Leprosy is a disease of the developing world so sales of the drug will be restricted to some of the poorest countries.’
‘It’s part of our charitable programme,’ she explained, exiting the lift when they reached their floor. She led him along the corridor and stopped outside the door to the lab, placing her palm on the screen set into the wall beside it. All the doors on this floor were opened by means of a sophisticated bio-scanning system and once the computer had confirmed that her palmprint matched the one stored in its database, they were admitted.
‘And do you develop many drugs through your charitable programme?’ Rafferty asked quietly, following her into the changing area. Conditions inside the lab were sterile and everyone entering had to wear a protective suit to prevent contamination. Natalie took one off a shelf and handed it to him before she answered the question.
‘As many as we can. Obviously, the firm has to make a profit before it can invest time and money in a new project such as this. Basically, it’s a question of finding the right balance.’
‘I hadn’t realised Palmer’s was so committed to its charitable work,’ he confessed, taking off his jacket and hanging it on a peg.
‘When my grandfather founded the company, he decided that a percentage of its profits should be used to help the least fortunate people in the world. My father has tried to uphold that principle since he took over.’
‘But it’s not always been an easy thing to do?’ he suggested astutely, stepping into the suit and zipping it up.
‘No. There are factions within the company that would like to see the system changed as soon as possible.’
She took off her shoes and slipped into a suit. There were paper bootees to wear with it so she found a large pair for Rafferty and gave them to him then found a smaller pair for herself.
‘And is that why you decided to stand in for your father while he recovered from his heart attack?’
‘Yes. I didn’t want Dad worrying that changes might be instigated in his absence. All it would take is a majority vote of no confidence from the board members and he could find himself overruled.’
‘You really think they would do that?’ he exclaimed.
‘Yes.’ She laughed shortly. ‘We’re talking about an awful lot of money, don’t forget. If you add up what Palmer’s invests in its charitable programme each year, it runs into millions. There are a lot of people who would like to see that money spent on something else.’
‘I had no idea the situation was so difficult. I can understand now why you were so anxious to return to London.’
‘I knew my father wouldn’t be able to rest if he was worrying about what was going on within the company and that certainly wouldn’t have helped his recovery.’
‘I wish you’d told me all this before.’
‘I didn’t see the point.’ She shrugged when he looked at her in surprise. ‘It wasn’t as though we were on the best of terms when it happened.’
She turned to enter the laboratory but Rafferty stopped her and she saw the regret in his eyes.
‘I never meant to hurt you, Natalie. I just wanted to do what was right.’
‘And telling me that we didn’t have a future was the right thing to do?’
‘I thought it was, but it wasn’t easy, if that’s what you imagine. I just knew that we couldn’t keep on tearing each other apart the way we’d been doing. We kept going round and round in circles and never getting anywhere.’
‘We didn’t have to get anywhere. That’s the whole point!’ She gripped his arms, desperate to make him understand. ‘The fact that my family has all this money doesn’t matter, Rafferty. It doesn’t change who we are or how we feel about each other.’
‘I wish I could believe that…’
‘You could if you wanted to but maybe it’s easier to blame the difference in our backgrounds than admit the truth.’
‘What truth?’
‘That you never really loved me enough to put aside your principles.’
She let him go and went to the door, repeating the procedure of scanning her palmprint. Rafferty didn’t say a word and his silence seemed to confirm that she’d been right about why they’d never been able to resolve their differences. It had had nothing to do with the lack of time they’d spent together or the constant pressure of their work, and she couldn’t believe why she hadn’t realised it before when it was so simple. If Rafferty had really loved her, he would have done everything in his power to keep her.
Rafferty knew he’d made a mistake by not denying the accusation but it had caught him flat-footed. How could Natalie think that he cared more about his principles than he did about her? He was determined to set her straight as he followed her into the lab but he was thwarted when one of the technicians spotted them and came hurrying over.
‘Dr Khan is in his office, Miss Palmer.’
‘Thank you, Rudi.’
Natalie turned to him and Rafferty felt his heart ache when he saw the pain in her eyes. It was obvious how hurt she was and the need to explain that she’d got things wrong was overwhelming.
‘Look, Natalie—’ he began, but she didn’t allow him to finish.
‘I’m sure you would like to meet the head of our research programme, wouldn’t you?’
She didn’t wait for him to answer as she led the way across the huge, open-plan room. Rafferty cursed under his breath but short of making a scene there was little he could do but follow her. She stopped outside a door at the far side of the laboratory and knocked before going into the office. There was a small, rather plump man sitting behind the desk, and he smiled in delight when he saw her.
‘Natalie! How lovely to see you, my dear!’ he exclaimed, leaping to his feet. ‘I was hoping you would find the time to call in today because I have some exciting news.’
‘Don’t tell me that you’ve made a breakthrough at last with the new drug?’
‘Let’s just say that it’s looking very promising.’
‘That’s wonderful news, Sanjay.’ She turned and Rafferty experienced a little spurt of irritation when he saw her smile fade as she looked at him. ‘Dr Khan has been working on that new drug I told you about.’
‘For Hansen’s disease.’ He smiled pleasantly as he offered the other man his hand. He had no intention of letting her see that her coolness had upset him. ‘Michael Rafferty. I’m delighted to meet you, Dr Khan.’
‘The pleasure is all mine, Dr Rafferty, I assure you,’ the man replied warmly as they shook hands. ‘I’ve heard a lot about your work for Worlds Together. You and your team do an excellent job, if I may say so.’
‘Thank you. However, we wouldn’t be able to do our job half as successfully if we didn’t have the right drugs available to us. The work you do in your own field is every bit as important.’
‘Thank you.’ Dr Kahn graciously accepted the compliment then turned to Natalie again. ‘Would you and Dr Rafferty care to see the results of our most recent trials?’
‘That would be wonderful, Sanjay. Thank you.’
Once again the man was treated to a megawatt smile but this time Rafferty was prepared for it. He followed them from the office, wondering if she was doing it deliberately to make him feel bad. He couldn’t blame her if she was, because she had every right to be annoyed with him. He made up his mind that he would set her straight as soon as he got her on her own but it proved to be far more difficult than he’d anticipated.
They stayed over an hour in the lab and when they got back to her office, there was someone from the accounts department waiting to see her. Rafferty listened with mounting impatience while they discussed the quarterly figures. It was double Dutch to him, although Natalie seemed to understand what was being said, and her grasp of the complexities of the business surprised him. He found himself pondering on it as the meeting with the accountant was followed by one with the head of marketing. Once again she asked pertinent questions and he could tell from the responses she received that her opinion was valued highly.
It forced him to re-evaluate his opinion of what she’d been doing recently. She hadn’t been wasting her time, as he’d assumed. She’d been making a positive contribution to the running of the company. It made him see just how difficult it was going to be to persuade her to give up the job so that by the time they broke for lunch, he was in a quandary. However, uppermost on his mind was the need to sort out the misunderstanding that had arisen that morning. It was because he loved her that he’d stuck to his principles, not the other way round, as she believed, so as soon as they were alone, he got straight to the point.
‘I need to talk to you about what happened earlier today. Perhaps we could go out for lunch while we discuss it?’
‘I’m sorry but I’ve already made plans,’ she said coolly, taking her jacket off the back of her chair. She was wearing a black trouser suit that day and he couldn’t help thinking how elegant she looked. He was more used to seeing her in jeans and T-shirt, or scrubs after a stint in Theatre, so the contrast couldn’t have been more marked. And all of a sudden he found himself beset by doubts once again.
Was it right to try and win her back when he could never give her the kind of life she was used to? He earned a good salary so they certainly wouldn’t starve, but it wasn’t just the money, of course. There were other considerations which he’d barely touched on because it was too painful to think about his past. He’d worked hard to hide his insecurities, had papered over the cracks with a layer of sophistication which fooled most people, but he knew his own shortcomings better than anyone else did. He might appear to the world as someone who was in charge of his life but it had been a hard battle to reach this point and it had left many scars.
He’d told Natalie very little about his childhood. He’d skirted around it by explaining that his parents were dead and she—not wanting to upset him—hadn’t probed. She had no idea that he’d been brought up in care or that he had no recollection of the mother who had given him away as a toddler. She could have no conception of the kind of life he’d led, being shunted from one foster-home to another, because she’d always had family, friends, roots—all the things he lacked.
Everything he had today he’d earned. Everything he was he’d taught himself to be. He was proud of what he’d achieved but his life was so far removed from hers that they had no common ground, nothing to provide a solid basis for their relationship. Yes, he loved her and, yes, he wanted her, but was it enough to make up for the rest? The fact that he couldn’t answer that question with any degree of certainty was what made him hold back.
‘It doesn’t matter, then. What time’s the meeting this afternoon?’
His tone was cool and gave no hint that it felt as though his guts were being ripped apart. If even he wasn’t sure that he was the right man for her then what point would there be in trying to win her back? It might be better if he accepted that the distance between them was just too great and let her get on with her life. Without him.
‘Two o’clock in the boardroom.’ She took a folder off her desk and handed it to him and he steeled himself when he saw the concern in her eyes. ‘Are you feeling all right, Rafferty? You look a little…stressed.’
‘I’m fine.’ He summoned a smile because if he confessed his fears, she would only tell him they didn’t matter, and he couldn’t afford to be swayed by her compassion. He needed to think about what he was doing and the consequences it could have. ‘I’m probably suffering from an overdose of facts and figures. I don’t know how you stand the boredom, Natalie, really I don’t.’
Her face closed up as she picked up her bag. ‘Each to his own, as they say. I’ll see you later.’
She stalked past him with her head held high and Rafferty sighed. He certainly hadn’t endeared himself to her with that crass remark and it hurt to know that she must think he was an insensitive clod, but what else could he have done? He needed to be sure that what he was doing was right. For her, not him.
He took the file over to the window and sat down. Even though he’d been forced to amend his opinion of the work she’d been doing recently, it didn’t alter the fact that he still believed she should return to nursing. Nursing had always been more than just a job to her and he understood how passionately she felt about it because he felt the same way about what he did. Even if he achieved nothing else, he would make her see how important it was that she return to the career she loved.
Opening the file, he settled back in the chair. He was going to complete this challenge she’d set him and come through it with flying colours.
What was wrong with Rafferty?
On her way to the clinic that night, Natalie found herself thinking back over what had happened that afternoon. She’d been dreading the board meeting after those comments Rafferty had made and, in the event, it had been every bit as bad as she’d feared. Things had started out well enough: Rafferty had been at his most urbane when she’d introduced him to the rest of the board members. However, once the meeting had got under way, the situation had quickly deteriorated.
She sighed as she recalled Rafferty’s response when one of the members who was most strongly opposed to Palmer’s continuing support of its charitable ventures had voiced his opinion during the meeting. Before she’d had time to formulate a carefully worded reply, Rafferty had stepped in. He had been little short of rude as he’d told the man how many lives Worlds Together had saved and had then asked him if he thought he was getting value for money. What was the going rate for a human life? he’d demanded witheringly. One pound? Ten? A hundred?
Natalie had done her best to rescue the situation because making the other man look like a fool in front of his colleagues certainly wouldn’t help her achieve what she wanted. She’d made an enemy that day because the fight had become personal now, and she couldn’t understand why Rafferty had taken it to such extremes. Surely he could have got across his point with a little more diplomacy? Instead of which he’d gone straight for the jugular, attacking his opponent with a ruthlessness that had surprised her. It made her see that there was a lot she didn’t know about him and it was worrying to admit it. She loved him with the whole of her heart, but how well did she really know him?
The taxi drew up outside the clinic and she was forced to cut short her musings as she paid the driver and got out. It was just gone seven and there were only a couple of patients in the waiting area when she went in. Piers Dutton, one of their junior doctors, was working that night and he grinned when she went through to the treatment room.
‘Ah, I’m glad to see you’ve decided to relax the dress code, Nat. I was really worried when Sam told me that evening dress was now de rigueur for the staff. I’m still paying back my student loans and it would be a bit of a bind if I had to fork out for a dinner suit. Still, I didn’t want to let the side down so I made a special effort just for you.’
He whipped off his sweatshirt to reveal an old-fashioned false shirtfront complete with bow-tie and studs. ‘My grandfather let me borrow this especially for the occasion. What do you think?’
‘Oh, ha-ha, very funny!’ she retorted. Piers was in his second year as a house officer at St Bart’s and an inveterate joker. They’d all been subjected to his pranks at one time or another and obviously it was her turn that night.
‘We aim to please,’ he responded, laughing.
Helen suddenly appeared from one of the cubicles and rolled her eyes when she saw what was going on. ‘No wonder folk find it hard to believe he’s a proper doctor. He acts more like a ten-year-old most of the time!’
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