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Montana Cowboy's Baby
Linda Ford
Stand-in DaddyConner Marshall knows the baby on the doorstep isn’t his—despite what the note says—but little Ellie needs a protector…and urgent medical care. Turning to the doctor’s daughter and capable assistant, Kate Baker, for help, he keeps the truth to himself. Why should he care if Kate believes the worst of him? The wary rancher can’t afford feelings for a woman who’ll soon be moving east for medical school.A promise to her dying grandmother decided Kate’s future. She’ll become a doctor, and forgo a family of her own. Now, tending to Ellie at the Marshall ranch, she sees just what she’s sacrificing, especially when Ellie’s mother returns. But the littlest matchmakers can sometimes make the biggest dreams come true…Big Sky Country: Love takes root in Montana’s wide open spaces.


Stand-in Daddy
Conner Marshall knows the baby on the doorstep isn’t his—despite what the note says—but little Ellie needs a protector...and urgent medical care. Turning to the doctor’s daughter and capable assistant, Kate Baker, for help, he keeps the truth to himself. Why should he care if Kate believes the worst of him? The wary rancher can’t afford feelings for a woman who’ll soon be moving east for medical school.
A promise to her dying grandmother decided Kate’s future. She’ll become a doctor and forgo a family of her own. Now, tending to Ellie at the Marshall ranch, she sees just what she’s sacrificing, especially when Ellie’s mother returns. But the littlest matchmakers can sometimes make the biggest dreams come true...
“Did you see that? Ellie smiled,” Kate said.
Conner chuckled. “I told you, she likes you.”
“We’re going to do this.” Kate looked deep into Conner’s eyes. “We are going to save this baby, so help me, God.” She meant it as a prayer and a vow, and when Conner nodded, she felt as if they had joined hands in mutual agreement.
There welled up within her a sense of something sweet and powerful. She tried to tell herself it was the same sensation she got whenever she helped her father, saw a baby or a child or an adult improving and knowing she had a hand in it. Only the feeling was unlike any she’d ever before experienced, and she could not dismiss it so easily nor fit it into a tidy slot in her brain.
When she was satisfied the baby had taken all the milk she would, she hurried to the kitchen...in need of an escape from the intensity prevailing in her thoughts while sitting so close to Conner, hearing his deep voice murmur to the baby. And knowing all the while that baby Ellie’s mother belonged where Kate now sat.
Dear Reader (#uecad81bd-dac9-5295-8ebd-3128781f7a34),
As many of you know, my husband and I have adopted ten children. My goal and dream and wish for them has always been that they find healing and wholeness in the love and support of a large family. Psalm 68:6 says God sets the lonely in families. I believe strongly in the power of family. May this story help each one to see how important family is. If you don’t have a family unit like I am talking about, I pray you will find it either through the acceptance of a welcoming family such as the Marshalls or in the warmth of an accepting church.
You can learn more about my upcoming books and how to contact me at www.lindaford.org (http://www.lindaford.org). I love to hear from my readers.
Blessings,
Linda Ford
LINDA FORD lives on a ranch in Alberta, Canada, near enough to the Rocky Mountains that she can enjoy them on a daily basis. She and her husband raised fourteen children—four homemade, ten adopted. She currently shares her home and life with her husband, a grown son, a live-in paraplegic client and a continual (and welcome) stream of kids, kids-in-law, grandkids and assorted friends and relatives.
Montana Cowboy’s Baby
Linda Ford


www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
—Psalms 46:1
To my editor, Tina, who guided me through the tangled threads of this story. Thank you.
Contents
Cover (#u712a2f82-5342-5a04-bee9-9c17398c09f9)
Back Cover Text (#ufeac9d55-50eb-5739-8c64-519b50ad2d2f)
Introduction (#u70534dc4-c103-565b-8133-08a739a52d79)
Dear Reader (#u13f4f6ef-c84c-55c4-9773-f8d8e08e58b8)
About the Author (#uf30984f6-da52-50e0-ad97-9990d809c141)
Title Page (#ud0428cb5-9e72-5fc5-9a0c-0603648c1afc)
Bible Verse (#u0e682efe-3ec1-5dde-915a-305c2c415060)
Dedication (#uc91ba787-b564-56ac-acb3-f9be1fd60b44)
Chapter One (#u52fbf4d5-e3e5-5c71-82b6-d708a37c5415)
Chapter Two (#u57aa5395-6e4d-5609-9ad3-a8077c79dd9c)
Chapter Three (#u973cddf4-6ff6-5c7e-a947-c72237c12e74)
Chapter Four (#u0e5e2da5-0f5e-5dea-aca1-0e7ebabd873e)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seventeen (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#uecad81bd-dac9-5295-8ebd-3128781f7a34)
Bella Creek, Montana, summer 1890
Twenty-two-year-old Kate Baker walked out of the big house on the Marshall Five Ranch. She’d completed her errand and was intent on returning to her home, four miles away, in Bella Creek. She’d taken two steps toward her buggy when a wagon rolled up to the house.
A stranger got down, retrieved a basket like the one Kate used for laundry and handed it to her.
“For Conner Marshall.”
Before she could think to ask who he was or what he’d delivered, he jumped back to the seat, flicked the reins and drove away.
She turned to look in the basket and met the dull brown eyes of an infant. Not a single rational thought came to her mind. What was she to do with this baby?
Think, she ordered herself. Who would bring a baby to Conner? He wasn’t even married.
Grandfather Marshall was inside—she had delivered some new liniment for him from her father, the local doctor—but he was in no shape to take care of a baby.
Grandfather, as everyone called him, had said everyone else was away. Wait, hadn’t he said Conner had stayed on the ranch to keep an eye on things...meaning the older man?
She glanced around. Did she detect movement in the corrals by the barn? It could be one of the hired hands or Conner.
“Conner,” she yelled. “Conner Marshall.”
The movement turned into a body that vaulted the fence and raced toward her.
She watched Conner approach. The middle Marshall son was twenty-four years old. He was a big man. Blond as all the Marshalls were with piercing blue eyes. His dusty cowboy hat tipped back from his pace, allowing her a view of his strong, angular face.
He reached her side. “Is something wrong? Is it Grandfather?” He clattered across the wooden veranda toward the door.
“Not Grandfather.” Her words stopped him and he slowly turned. She pointed toward the basket that she had lowered to the ground. “Someone brought this for you.”
“Me? What is it?”
“You best look and see.”
He did so. “A baby? Why would anyone send me a baby?”
Exactly her question. They stared at the solemn infant.
“Look, there’s a note.” She pointed to the piece of paper tucked by the bedding.
He seemed incapable of moving, so she picked it up. “It has your name on it.”
He plucked it from her fingers, unfolded it and read it aloud. “‘Conner, this is Elspeth. She’s yours. Take care of her. Thelma.’”
Kate lowered her gaze, unable to look at the man. He had a baby? And obviously no wife, unless she had left him. “You’re married?” She kept her voice low, revealing nothing of the shock this news provided.
“No, of course I’m not.”
He’d fathered a baby out of wedlock? She’d known him since she and her father had moved to Bella Creek in the spring and would never have considered him the sort to act this way. It left her stunned to the point she couldn’t think how to respond.
Drawn by the sound of their voices, Grandfather came to the doorway.
“You should be resting,” Kate said in her kindest voice, knowing how much his legs must hurt. He’d been injured a couple of years ago and his legs had never healed properly.
“Can’t rest with all this commotion. What’s going on?”
“A baby.” Conner sounded as shocked as he looked. He handed the note to his grandfather, who read it and grunted.
Grandfather hobbled over to peer into the basket. “So you’ve fathered a baby?” The disapproval in the older man’s voice hung heavy in the air. “She’s awfully still.” He pulled the blanket covering the baby lower. “And thin as a stick.” He waved Kate forward. “I’ve seen how competent you are at helping your father. You’ll know what to do with this baby. Have a look at her, would you?”
Kate’s father was the local doctor. Her mother had been his assistant before her passing, and since then, Kate had assisted him. This was what Kate knew. She stared into the eyes of the little girl. Her heart stalled. Something about the look in those eyes begged for Kate’s help.
She drew in a deep breath. She touched the baby’s cheek, found it dry. Kate slipped off the tiny bonnet and ran her hand over Elspeth’s head. She guessed the baby to be about five or six months old. Conner would have a better idea of the age of his daughter.
“She’s badly dehydrated.” She refrained from giving her assessment that this child was also undernourished. Her throat constricted at the idea that the baby had been neglected. It was all she could do not to scoop the little one from the basket and promise to protect and care for her. Instead, she waited for Conner to take responsibility for his child. “She needs to be fed,” she added for good measure. Still no response. What must she do to get the man moving?
“You need to feed her,” she continued. A nursing bottle with a skin of sour milk lay beside the baby. She picked it up and held it toward him.
He lifted his gaze from studying the baby to stare at the bottle.
“Come, I’ll help you.” She made her way to the door. Grandfather hobbled after her, but Conner didn’t move.
She sighed. “Bring the baby.”
He jolted into action, gingerly lifting the basket and carrying it after her as she crossed through the large entryway into the big, homey kitchen. She cleaned the bottle and got cooled milk from the pantry. As she waited for the milk to warm, she watched Conner.
He scooped the baby from the basket, and although he appeared to be a little uncertain how to hold Elspeth, he smiled gently as he studied the little girl.
A warm feeling filled Kate’s heart at the tenderness in his eyes. She handed him the bottle and prepared to leave. Father would be expecting her home.
She didn’t like to leave him too long. He’d had a buggy accident a year ago and afterward he’d been unconscious for three days. It had taken a long time for him to be able to think clearly. He seemed to be well now. Still, she was reluctant to leave him, knowing fatigue and hunger brought on mental confusion.
She took a couple of steps toward the door but stopped. It was a scene she hated to leave...an opportunity to see the strong, noble Marshall men cope with a tiny baby. Her gaze returned to the baby sheltered in Conner’s arms. Her eyes stung.
She must make sure this little one was doing well before she left. It was her only reason for turning back to the room.
* * *
Conner held the baby in the palms of his hands. Should he lay her on his lap or in the crook of his arm? He settled for holding her against his chest. A protective feeling—so powerful and unfamiliar that his lungs forgot to work—filled his heart.
He stared into the eyes of the baby. Solemn, maybe even guarded, as if wondering whether or not she would be welcomed. Why would Thelma say the baby was his? He knew without a doubt it wasn’t because, despite Thelma’s teasing, they had never gone that far.
He hadn’t seen Thelma for over a year and a half...since she’d left town to join the traveling show. He’d met her a year prior to that when she moved to town to help her ailing aunt. He’d been moved by her dedication to helping the older woman. It hadn’t taken him long to fall in love with her. She said she felt the same overwhelming love for him.
When she’d announced her intention to leave town, he had reluctantly agreed to go with her and suggested they marry before doing so. But then she left, leaving him a note saying she could do better on her own. It had hurt to know she found him a hindrance. He’d been devastated and humiliated to have his sorrow witnessed publicly. He’d found solace in the bosom of his family and vowed to always put them first after that. He considered it his service to the Lord and prayed he would not be diverted by his emotions.
He didn’t plan to ever trust another woman with his heart. What did love mean if it was so easy to walk away from it?
The baby gave a thin cry.
“She needs to eat,” Kate repeated in a patient tone.
“Of course.” He could do this. He poked the rubber nipple between the little lips. The milk ran out the corners of the baby’s mouth and dribbled into the creases of her neck.
Grandfather made an explosive sound. “Conner, you don’t know the first thing about babies.”
“I’ve nursed an orphan calf. It can’t be all that different.”
With a muffled groan, Grandfather leaned back in his chair.
Conner looked at the infant in his arms. Her mother was missing. How long had she been alone? Somebody ought to care about her. He would. “Come on, baby, swallow your milk.” He again jiggled the bottle in her mouth.
The baby blinked and swallowed once, then turned her eyes away from him and stared. He followed the direction of her gaze and saw nothing.
Milk ran out her mouth.
He tried as hard as he could, but the baby wouldn’t swallow again.
He gave Kate a pleading look. “She won’t eat for me.”
Her eyes gentle, she took the baby from his arms and the bottle he handed to her. It was good to have her here...someone with medical know-how.
Kate smiled. “I’ll show you what to do and then you’ll be able to do it.” She eased the nipple into the tiny mouth. “Come on, little Ellie.”
Ellie. He liked that far better than Elspeth.
“You need to eat. That’s it, sweet girl.” Kate’s voice drew the baby’s eyes and she swallowed. Once. Twice and again. And then she stopped.
Kate crooned to her. “You can do this.”
The baby drank another swallow and then her eyes drifted closed.
“She’s done for now. She’ll be okay if she’s fed every hour or more often until she is taking a full feed. It’s going to be a time-consuming job for a few days.”
She handed the baby back to Conner. Her eyes were steady, her gaze intent. “She’s a Marshall. Your daughter.” Kate spoke calmly, encouragingly. “It’s up to you to give her what she needs, and at the moment that’s lots of love, frequent feedings, and it wouldn’t hurt to use gentle, kind words around her.” She gave a few instructions about feeding the baby and keeping her warm and comfortable. “Now I must return home in case my father needs me.”
Although the baby wasn’t actually a Marshall, there had to be a reason Thelma said she was. Perhaps the baby was in danger from some of the people in the traveling show. Or maybe Thelma had married and her husband was cruel. Until Conner knew the facts, he would give Ellie the protection of the Marshall name. That meant keeping the truth hidden. He pulled the baby tighter to his chest.
He watched Kate put on her bonnet and reach for the black bag she had brought in and panic clawed up his throat. “Wait. You can’t leave. There’s no one here but me and Grandfather. We need help.” He knew he sounded needy and it wasn’t like him, but being in charge of a weak little baby frightened him more than anything he could remember.
He glanced desperately at the door. Where was his family when he needed them? Everyone had gone about their business, that’s where. Pa and Conner’s two brothers were checking on the cattle and might be gone several days. His sister, Annie, went to visit her friend for a few days and didn’t say when she’d be back. Even his recently acquired sisters-in-law had disappeared to their own pursuits.
His gaze shifted to the window and the corrals visible beyond where the horses he had been breaking and training milled about. That was the kind of work he understood.
He brought his attention back to Kate. “You’re a nurse.”
“Doctor’s assistant,” she corrected in a distracted way.
“This is the kind of thing you understand. I don’t.”
“I’ll show you how to prepare her bottle. You know how to feed her now.”
“Okay.” He put the baby in her basket and listened to Kate’s instructions. It hardly seemed enough knowledge to care for a weak baby. “I can do this.” He would care for this child as if she was his. But he had to grit his teeth to keep from calling Kate back as she left the room. A few minutes later, a buggy rattled from the yard. It scared him to death to be responsible for such a tiny baby, but he’d never let anyone guess.
Grandfather studied him with steely eyes. “Did you know you had a baby?”
“She’s not mine! I can’t believe you think she is.”
“You’re sure?” Grandfather’s voice was full of doubt.
“As sure as I am that the sun will set tonight and rise again tomorrow.” He gazed at the baby, expecting her to be asleep, but she stared up at him. He touched her cheek and played with her hand, curling and uncurling her fingers. “I can’t believe Thelma called the little thing Elspeth.” Except it didn’t surprise him. Thelma had admired a singer of that name.
“Why would she say she’s yours? Why would she send her here?”
Indeed. He met Grandfather’s piercing gaze with his own steady one. “I can’t answer for her choices. But perhaps the baby is in danger.” He let that sit for a moment.
“What kind of danger?”
“Some of the people in her traveling troupe were a little...” He held up a hand to indicate uncertainty.
“What are you going to do with her?” Grandfather asked, his voice not unkind.
“Seems to me this little one needs a family to care for her and protect her. I’m willing to do that.”
Grandfather cleared his throat. “Every child deserves to be surrounded by love and care. I guess Thelma knew what she was doing when she sent her to you.”
“Except she likely didn’t think it would be just you and me caring for her.”
“Don’t worry, son. We’ll figure it out as we go. ’Sides, doesn’t it say in the Bible that God cares about even the little sparrows? She is of far more value than a hundred sparrows. We’ll trust God to help us.”
Conner nodded. “I think we’ll be keeping God busy for a few days.” But hadn’t he learned how sufficient God was in the painful days after Thelma had left? His family had gathered round him and helped him as much as they could and for that he owed them his faithfulness. They’d help him with the care of this little scrap of humanity as well. Just as soon as they got back. In the meantime, he and Grandfather were all she had.
How long would they need to provide for Ellie? What was going on with Thelma?
* * *
Kate had barely finished making a pot of coffee for her father the next morning when someone clattered into the waiting room and hollered, “Doc, are you there?”
She was used to the doctor being called away any time of the day or night, so she quickly filled a cup of coffee for her father. “Eat something while I go see what it is.” She’d delay the caller long enough to allow Father to have breakfast. A few minutes to eat leisurely would go a long way to preventing any problems with his memory.
She went into the waiting room. A man she recognized from the community stood before her.
“My mother fell getting out of bed this morning and is hurting. Could the doctor come and see her?” His mother was a frail elderly woman.
Father appeared behind her. “I’ll go immediately.” He reached for his black doctor’s bag.
“I’ll go with you.” Kate untied her apron and hung it on a hook.
She had barely finished speaking when one of the young cowboys she recognized from the Marshall ranch burst through the door.
The cowboy grabbed the hat off his head. “Miss Kate, Conner says would you please come immediately? The baby isn’t eating. He says she’s really weak.”
Kate’s hands clenched. She’d hoped and prayed for a better report. She wanted nothing more than to hurry to the baby’s side and will her to be strong, but her father was needed elsewhere. She had accompanied him on almost every call since their arrival. Often she had guided him through a task or reminded him of a medical fact as he struggled to regain full use of his memory. Lately, she’d needed to help less and less, but she wasn’t yet confident he was completely better. But she couldn’t be in two places.
Father saw her concern. “I’ll be okay on my own. You go take care of that baby, nurse it back to health and strength.”
She hesitated a moment longer before making up her mind. By the sound of it, the baby required medical care. Kate would give her that and more. She’d pour love into that little girl until she grew strong. Only for the sake of her health, of course. She knew better than to let her emotions get involved.
“Let me get a few things.” The supplies she needed were in the office, but she turned back to their living quarters and slipped into her bedroom, where she sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over, her face to her knees. She needed to be calm and collected. She needed wisdom to guide them through dealing with the weak baby.
Oh, God, You are my friend and my strength. The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
Her soul calmed and her courage renewed, she joined the cowboy and hurried toward the buggy.
As she settled herself on the bench, she glanced around. To her left was the newly constructed schoolhouse. To her right, the new barbershop. Past that were other new buildings taking shape, replacing those that had been destroyed in a fire a few months ago.
Bella Creek, Montana, was a town Grandfather Marshall had built to provide an alternative to the wild mining town of Wolf Hollow. He took the welfare of the town very seriously and was largely responsible, with the help of his sons and grandsons, for the rebuilding after the fire of last winter. The Marshalls had located a doctor and teacher as well, to replace the ones who left following the disaster.
She would miss the small town when she left. She’d already been accepted at a medical school in St. Louis, Missouri, but had delayed her entrance to care for Father.
They reached the ranch and the cowboy helped her down. Kate hurried through to the sitting room. One look at the baby, her eyes unfocused, her breathing shallow, and Kate’s mind kicked into a gallop.
“You should have sent for help earlier.”
“I kept thinking she would improve.” Conner scrubbed his hand over his hair, turning it into a blond tangle and bringing a fleeting smile to Kate’s mouth.
She lifted the baby, cradling her close. Normally a baby was warm. This one was not. “Did she drink any milk at all?”
“She wouldn’t swallow. Most of the time she won’t even meet my eyes. What’s wrong with her?”
Kate knew his frustration came from concern for the life of this little one. There was no point in her saying anything to allay his worries. If the baby didn’t begin to eat... She couldn’t bring herself to finish the thought and instead closed her eyes and breathed a prayer. The baby needed fluids immediately. Did her body even have the strength to digest milk? There was an alternative.
“I’ll start her on sugar water.”
Wanting to preserve what body heat the little one had, she swaddled her in the soft, white blanket from the basket, then handed her to Conner. “Hold her close. She needs to be warm.”
Conner pressed the baby to his chest. Kate plucked the hand-knit blanket from the back of the brown couch and draped it over his arms, covering the baby until only her eyes showed—eyes that showed no interest in life. Kate met Conner’s gaze, saw her concern echoed. Something shifted inside her, knowing they were united in caring for this baby.
She jerked her gaze away. She must not cross the line between a patient and a doctor’s assistant. And that included the patient’s family. Don’t let your emotions get involved. You do what you can and leave the family to pull together.
She hurried to the kitchen to prepare the water mixture for the baby. A few minutes later, she had everything ready and returned to the sitting room.
Conner shifted to make room for her at his side on the couch.
She eased the tip of the syringe into the little mouth and squeezed out a drop, then massaged the thin neck. “Come on, Ellie, swallow.” A sigh escaped her when the baby did so. “Thank you,” she whispered.
She met Conner’s look, found there a sense of accord in shared concern for this wee bit of struggling humanity. It warmed her cheeks and heart to feel united with him in this.
Turning her attention back to the baby, she squeezed out another drop and then another. After a few swallows, little Ellie refused any more no matter how much Kate rubbed her face and neck and begged her to take more.
With no desire to drown the wee thing, Kate withdrew the syringe. “I’ll feed her every few minutes.”
Conner’s blue eyes filled with worry.
She patted his arm. “We aren’t solely responsible for the outcome here. God has a bigger part in healing than any mere man can play.” She needed the reminder for herself as much as for Conner. She was often frustrated by the limitations of medical science.
He nodded and she again felt as if they shared equal concern and responsibility for providing what this baby needed. He bent his head over his daughter and whispered her name.
She wondered if Conner watched the rise and fall of the tiny chest as desperately as she did.
In a bit, Ellie made a mewling sound.
“Hand me that whatever it’s called and I’ll see if Ellie will drink some more. I’m no doctor, but I know she needs something in her stomach if she’s to survive.”
Kate gave him the syringe of sugar water. He eased the tip between Ellie’s lips and squeezed out a shot.
Ellie choked. Her face grew red.
Conner’s face blanched. “What do I do?”
Rather than explain it to the distraught man, Kate took Ellie, turned her over and patted her back. She bent over the baby, watching her face. “Come on, little one, take a breath.”
The baby calmed.
Kate’s heart took slightly longer to return to a normal pace.
She turned Ellie about to look in her face. “You gave us quite a scare.” Solemn eyes focused on her for a brief moment before losing interest.
Conner let out a long sigh. “I almost killed her.” His voice shook. His gaze met hers. She couldn’t say if it was gratitude or caution she saw in his eyes or something else entirely. Nor could she explain why the look made her ache inside.
She struggled to adjust her thinking about this man. She’d always thought him noble and honorable. To learn he had fathered a child left her wondering what sort of man he really was.
She placed the baby back in his arms and looked at the syringe. “Just a little at a time.”
Conner studied her for a moment, then turned to the baby. “Swallow for me, little Ellie. Please don’t choke.”
Water dribbled from the baby’s mouth.
Conner watched the baby for a moment, then lifted his gaze to Kate’s. “I can’t do this by myself. Will you stay and help?”
How could she stay? Father needed her.
“Please?” Conner’s eyes filled with kindness and something she wasn’t able to identify. Was it determination or regret? Fear or warning?
She brought her attention back to the baby. She had to do what she could to ensure little Ellie lived. A baby’s life hung in the balance.
“I’ll stay until she’s doing better.” Father would have to get along without her for a few hours. After that? Conner would need to find someone to tend his baby, but he had lots of people to choose from—his sister and his sisters-in-law.
Conner smiled. “Thank you. This baby needs a family, but right now she needs more. She needs what you can give her.”
Family. The word caught at her heart. Why did it trouble her? She could think of no reason and dismissed the thought. It wasn’t like she longed for something more. Medical care was what she offered. It was the focus of her life.
She’d once thought things might be different. As an eager seventeen-year-old, she’d loved the attention given to her by Edward Sabin over a six-month period. Her eyes full of starry dreams, she’d told him of her plan to become a doctor. He’d said she would have to choose between him and her dreams because he didn’t intend to share her with every Tom, Dick and Harry, or even every Mary, Alice and Harriet.
She’d said it wasn’t that easy and told him of her promise to Grammie. Grammie, who had raised her since her birth parents died when Kate was four until her own death six years later, said she had the gift of healing and made her promise not to waste the gift. Besides, she liked taking care of people.
Edward had stopped calling, but he’d made her acknowledge the impossibility of trying to be both a doctor and a wife and mother. Her own childhood after the Bakers had adopted her provided further proof. How many times had her sleep been interrupted as she was taken next door so her parents could attend some medical need? How often had she missed a social event for the same reason? But in exchange, she’d learned much about caring for others.
Kate went to the kitchen. Grandfather sat outside on the veranda, rocking in the sun and watching the activities in the yard. She glimpsed one of the cowhands riding by the garden.
It was all so ordinary and peaceful. Unlike her own home, where every ordinary moment ended with a call for the doctor’s services, where there was often a flurry of activity as they faced a medical crisis. It was just her father and her now. Mother had died eight years ago when Kate was fourteen.
Kate was a willing, eager participant in dealing with the frequent illnesses, accidents and childbirths, but as she waited for the water to boil, she leaned on the windowsill, taking in the calm scene.
The kettle steamed and the moment passed. She prepared Ellie’s feeding and returned to the sitting room and drew to a halt at the sight before her. Conner leaned back on the couch, his mouth open as he snored softly. The poor man must have been up most of the night. Ellie slept peacefully on his chest. A beautiful picture of fatherly love and care.
It triggered an ache hidden deep within her heart. One she must deny.
This man had a daughter and thus belonged to another woman. Not that it mattered to her. She had plans that would take her away from here. But for today, she would enjoy the feeling of warmth that being with the Marshall family gave. She would enjoy caring for a baby who needed her.
Surely it was possible to do so without struggling with secret longings.
Wasn’t it?
Chapter Two (#uecad81bd-dac9-5295-8ebd-3128781f7a34)
Conner snorted at the sound of someone clearing a throat, opened his eyes and looked up at Kate.
“I think I fell asleep.” He bent his head to check on Ellie. She slept. Her cheekbones pushed against her skin. Such a frail baby. His resolve tightened his chest. She needed him. He would do everything possible for her.
“It’s time to feed her again.” Kate leaned over him and gently shook Ellie to waken her. The baby’s eyelids came up slowly. Her pupils remained unfocused. She stared past Kate as if unaware of her.
He shifted the baby so Kate could feed her. But Ellie’s mouth hung slack and the liquid ran down her neck.
Kate’s face filled with purpose. “Did anything you tried last night get her attention?”
“She seemed to like to hear me sing.” Heat swept over his chest at how foolish he felt admitting it.
“Well, then, I suggest you sing to her.”
“No one but Ellie listened last night.” He could barely squeak the words out as embarrassment clogged his throat.
She chuckled. “I’ll assume she is a good judge of your singing ability. Now sing.”
“Can’t. My throat’s too dry.”
“I can fix that.” She hurried to the kitchen and returned with a glass of cold water. “Drink.”
Seemed she wasn’t prepared to accept any excuses from him. “You’re bossy. Did you know that?” It was his turn to chuckle as pink blossomed in her cheeks.
She gave a little toss of her head. “I’m simply speaking with authority. You did ask me to stay and help. I assumed you wanted my medical assistance.”
No mistaking the challenge in her voice.
“Your medical assistance, yes, of course.” He humbled his voice and did his best to look contrite.
“You sing to her and I’ll try to get more sugar water into her.”
He cleared his throat. “Sleep, my love, and peace attend thee. All through the night; Guardian angels God will lend thee, All through the night.” The first few notes caught in his throat and then he focused his eyes on Ellie at the words of the familiar lullaby.
Ellie blinked and brought her gaze to him.
“Excellent,” Kate whispered and leaned over Conner’s arm to ease the syringe between Ellie’s lips. The baby swallowed three times and then her eyes closed.
“Sleep is good, too,” Kate murmured, leaning back. “I think she likes your voice.”
He couldn’t stop himself from meeting Kate’s eyes. Warmth filled them and he allowed himself a little glow of victory. “Thelma hated my singing.” He hadn’t meant to say that. Certainly not aloud.
Kate’s eyes cooled considerably. “You’re referring to Ellie’s mother?”
“That’s right.” No need to say more.
“Do you mind me asking where she is?”
“’Fraid I can’t answer that.”
She waited.
“I don’t know. I haven’t seen her in over a year.”
“I see.”
Only, it was obvious she didn’t. But he wasn’t going to explain. Not until he figured out what Thelma was up to.
Kate pushed to her feet.
The side where she’d been sitting next to him on the couch grew instantly cold.
“How long before we wake her to feed her again?”
“Fifteen minutes. You hold her and rest. I don’t suppose you got much sleep last night.”
There she was, being bossy and authoritative again. Not that he truly minded. It was nice to know someone cared how tired he was and also knew how to deal with Ellie.
The fifteen minutes passed quickly and Kate wakened the baby.
“She’s weaker.” His voice cracked. “Wasn’t she supposed to be getting better by now?”
“It’s a fine balance between getting fluid into her and not overtaxing her strength.” She tried to get the baby to swallow, but her head lolled and her eyes had a distant unfocused look to them.
“Sing to her again,” Kate said. “It makes her more responsive.”
“I find it hard to believe you don’t beg me not to, but if it helps Ellie, I’ll do it.” He again sang the words of the lullaby.
The baby turned her eyes toward Conner. Kate leaned close to feed her some sugar water. Ellie swallowed without urging.
“My grandmother used to sing that to me,” Kate said.
Conner stopped. “I remember my ma singing it to Annie and then Mattie. I expect she sang it to me, but I don’t remember.” He thought of the number of times he’d heard her crooning to his little sister and his niece. Memories of his ma and her steadfast love almost choked him.
“I don’t recall my mother singing to me either, but then I was young when she passed away.”
The baby stopped swallowing as soon as Conner stopped singing. Kate pointed it out to him and he turned back to Ellie and sang again the same lullaby. Only, he added his own words to the tune. “Didn’t I hear that your mother died when you were fourteen? Did I misunderstand?” he asked Kate in a singsongy voice. He was curious about this woman and wanted to know more about her.
* * *
She didn’t normally talk to patients or their parents about herself, but she rather found she wanted to tell him about her parents.
“My birth parents died from a fever when I was four. I went to live with my Grammie, but she wasn’t well. Dr. and Mrs. Baker cared for her until she died when I was ten. She asked them to adopt me and they did. Grammie said I had a gift for healing and helping and wanted the Bakers to help me follow that path.” Why had she said that? He surely wasn’t interested in why she’d chosen this goal. “Mother died four years later. It’s just been me and Father since.”
He squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry.”
The knot in her chest disappeared at the comfort of his warm palm.
He shifted his attention back to the baby, removing his hand from Kate’s for her to squeeze out a drop of sugar water.
“So you’re following your grandmother’s and your parents’ dreams.”
“Their dreams? No, I’m following my dream.”
He nodded, though she couldn’t say if he was satisfied with her answer or not. Nor did it matter. She knew what she must do. What she wanted to do.
“You’re an only child?” he asked.
“I am.” Why did the answer trouble her? It wasn’t as if she’d minded having no siblings.
“Were you ever lonely?”
“My mother often accompanied my father as his assistant. When I was younger, I was left with the Bramfords next door. There were eight children in their family. Two girls about my age. Younger brothers and sisters and an older brother and sister. I was not lonely at their place.” She told him more of the big, rambunctious family.
“There wasn’t time for games or parties at our house. Most of my parents’ time and activities involved taking care of the sick and injured and reading the latest medical journals.”
Conner’s expression grew serious.
Kate realized he might have misunderstood the way she described her parents. “I loved being involved with their work.”
“I can’t imagine being an only child,” Conner said. “When we moved out here, my brothers and sister were my only playmates and companions. When Ma died, we helped each other through it. We’ve been through a lot—the death of Mattie’s ma and—” He broke off.
She wondered if he’d been about to mention Thelma, but he did not continue.
Instead, he turned back to Ellie, singing a familiar hymn.
Kate slowly brought her gaze to his. Her head was only inches from him. She could make out the flecks of silver in his blue eyes. She could see his pupils narrow. Could hear the sharp intake of his breath.
She forced her gaze to shift and concentrated on the baby. “Were her dreams more important than giving Ellie a home?”
She couldn’t imagine letting a child of hers out of her sight. How many times had she watched her mother and father leave on a medical call and felt so alone? Even when she was surrounded by the large family next door, whom she stayed with in their absence. It was the reason she had made the decision not to try to combine being a doctor with being a wife and mother. That, and realizing that men weren’t willing to share her. After Edward, other men had as quickly stopped calling on her when they learned of her plans. She agreed with their evaluation. She knew it was fooling herself to think she could be a wife, a mother and also a doctor.
Conner’s singing stopped and his voice flattened as he answered her question. “It would appear Thelma’s dreams were more important than caring for Ellie, though for all I know she has married someone else.”
“Then why...?” She broke off. If Thelma had married before the baby was born, her husband would be the legal father of the child, even if Ellie was Conner’s offspring. It was not—she reminded herself—her business.
“Then why would she send the baby to me?” He shrugged. “That’s something I aim to find out.”
The baby had stopped eating and her eyes had closed.
Kate sat back on the chair that she’d dragged next to the couch. “She did well this time.”
“You sound hopeful.”
“I am. Why don’t I take her and you can take a break? Maybe get a drink, stretch your legs.”
He hesitated as if he didn’t want to leave the baby. She understood his concern. Ellie was so fragile. “I’ll watch her carefully.”
Conner nodded and she lifted the baby from his warm arms, wrapped the blankets about her and cuddled her close. The feel of a baby in her arms tugged at her lonely heart. If only she could believe she could follow her dream and enjoy a family.
But she knew the cost would be too high both for her children and herself. To leave them to tend others... She shook her head, ignoring the ache behind her eyes.
She must stick to her convictions.
* * *
“I need to take care of my horses.” Conner bolted for the door. He had chores to do. But more than that, he needed to get outside where he could think.
Yesterday, he’d been breaking horses and making plans to sell them to the right owners, making money to buy more animals. Soon, he hoped to be the best horse dealer in the country. That would make him a valuable part of the Marshall Five Ranch. Not, he argued with himself, that he wasn’t now. But it would make him more important. Able to contribute more.
How had he gone from there yesterday to here today, holding a tiny baby in his arms and neglecting his horses?
And watching Kate hold Ellie and croon over her. Kate’s brown hair was almost a match for Ellie’s. They had similar brown eyes. They could have passed for mother and child. The thought made him break his stride. He knew of her plans to be a doctor. Did becoming a wife and mother fit into those plans? Not that it mattered to him one way or the other.
He yanked off his hat and rubbed his head. How had things gotten so mixed up? Had Thelma married? If so, why had she sent the baby to him? And why was the little one doing so poorly? They needed to find her and get some answers from her. He’d send a message to his friend Sheriff Jesse Hill as soon as he could. How long would it take for Jesse to locate her?
He fed and watered the horses, then walked around them one at a time. Two were already spoken for and he’d promised they’d be ready within the week. It didn’t appear that would happen now if he was stuck inside looking after the baby. When would his sister and sisters-in-law return? He was counting on them to take over Ellie’s care. Though he was most grateful for Kate’s expertise at the moment.
Thinking of Kate brought his thoughts back to his newfound responsibility. He jerked to a halt and stared toward the house. Was everything okay? He bolted from the pen and crossed the yard in double time, clattered across the kitchen and dining room to grind to a halt in the doorway to the sitting room.
Kate held the baby, stroking her pale cheek and murmuring to her. She glanced up at Conner’s noisy entrance and smiled. Something in his heart tipped a little to the side and remained so for several seconds. Then things righted and he entered the room.
“How is she?”
“Taking a few drops at a time.”
“That’s all?” He settled by her side and pressed his hands to the baby. “I wish we could do more.”
“I’m doing all I know to do.”
“I couldn’t manage without you.” Her face was inches from his. Conner watched a play of emotions in Kate’s eyes and longed to be able to read them. Then her gaze dropped to Ellie. She caught the little hand and rubbed it. She looked at him again, her eyes full of determination.
“I will do everything in my power to see this little one grow strong.”
He had made the same vow and felt as if he and Kate stepped across some invisible threshold, united in heart and purpose.
He was not alone in fighting for this baby and found immense comfort in the thought. He couldn’t think of the little one not getting better. Even though she wasn’t his, his heart had laid claim to her.
Kate hummed as she tried to feed the baby, but Ellie pressed her lips together and turned away.
“Give her to me,” Conner said. His voice was rough, but he couldn’t help it. Ellie needed to drink. When Kate shifted the baby into his arms, he cradled the little bundle to his chest.
“It’s like she has almost given up trying.” Her eyes filled with regret. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“You haven’t told me anything I can’t see on my own. Have you seen this before?” He meant, did people give up the desire to live?
“Only in discouraged and ill adults.” Her voice broke and she turned away. With a choked sound, she hurried to the window to stare out. Her shoulders heaved.
Was she crying? Fighting her fears? He couldn’t say, but he wanted to ease her obvious strain. “Come here.” He kept his voice soft even though his insides felt as if they’d been sliced with a thousand dull blades.
She didn’t move. “Give me a moment.” She sucked in air.
He waited.
Slowly she turned. Her face a careful mask as if she had pushed all her feelings behind a wall. She crossed to the couch.
“Sit down.” He indicated the chair at his side and she sat. “Give me your hand.”
She hesitated, then put her hand in his.
He brought it to the baby and placed it over the tiny chest and covered her hand with his. “Feel that?”
“It’s her heart beating.”
“Yes. You said the outcome is in God’s hands.”
She nodded.
“Then we will pray for His healing.” He bowed his head and prayed. “God, You love Ellie. You have a plan and a purpose for her life. She’s so young. So needy. We’re doing all we can to help her. But only You can heal her. We humbly ask that You would see fit to touch her little body and make her strong.” He paused, wanting so much more, answers to questions about Thelma, a caring home, loving parents for the baby, but he could say none of those aloud. He simply had to trust God for all of it. “Amen.”
“Amen,” Kate echoed.
Conner expected she would pull away, but she stayed as they were, their heads almost touching, their hands on Ellie’s chest feeling her heart beat and the rise and fall of her breathing. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For reminding me that it’s in God’s hands, not mine.”
The afternoon became a continual round of waking, feeding and hovering over the baby. But each time the baby took a little more.
“It’s good, isn’t it?” He was ready to rejoice.
“Yes, it’s very good. Maybe she’ll take some milk now.” She hurried to the kitchen to prepare it.
Conner leaned back, shifting the baby so they were face-to-face. Ellie’s eyes met his. “Who are you, little one? Why are you here? Where’s your mother? I need to find her, don’t I? Did she forget to take care of you? Is that why you’re so weak? Or have you been sick?” So many questions. “And you aren’t giving me any of the answers, are you?”
The sound of approaching footsteps warned him of Kate’s return and he stopped questioning the baby and chuckled at the silliness of doing so.
Ellie’s eyes widened at his laugh.
Kate pressed to his side so she could feed the baby. She eased the rubber nipple into the tiny mouth. Ellie gagged but then closed her mouth about the contraption and sucked. Her eyes widened as she tasted the milk. She drank eagerly for a moment or two.
Kate leaned over them both and Conner was so full of gratitude over the improvement that he wrapped his arm about her shoulders and drew her against his chest, next to the baby. His heart felt ready to burst.
She stiffened and pulled away, sat upright in the chair by the couch, folded her hands in her lap and studied him with a solemn expression.
“Forgive me. I was rejoicing over her improvement.”
Kate nodded. “Of course.”
He reached for her hands and clasped them to his chest. “We’re doing all we can, aren’t we?”
She curled her fingers into the fabric of his shirt. “I believe so.”
He understood then that the baby was still not out of the woods.
Chapter Three (#uecad81bd-dac9-5295-8ebd-3128781f7a34)
She should not have revealed her worry about the baby. A doctor or nurse did not frighten family members with either words or expressions, but she could not put a serene mask over her features. All she could do was cling to the fact Ellie was improving.
Conner lifted one hand and cupped her shoulder. “Kate, you’re doing a good job if Ellie’s present condition means anything.”
Ellie opened her eyes and found Kate’s face.
“See, even the baby knows it. She likes you. She knows you’re helping her.”
Kate smiled at the baby and stroked a finger along the tiny cheek. “She is certainly a sweetie. So beautiful.” A fierce protectiveness crowded all else from her mind. “Ellie, you are going to eat and fight and get strong. You hear me?”
The baby considered her solemnly, then smiled. The smile disappeared so quickly Kate wondered if she’d imagined it. “Did you see that? She smiled.”
Conner chuckled. “I told you, she likes you.”
“We’re going to do this.” She looked deep into Conner’s eyes. “We are going to save this baby, so help me God.” She meant it as a prayer and a vow, and when Conner nodded, she felt as if they had joined hands in mutual agreement.
There welled up within her a sense of something sweet and powerful. She tried to tell herself it was the same sensation she got whenever she helped her father, saw a baby or a child or an adult improving and knowing she had a hand in it. Only, the feeling was unlike any she’d ever before experienced and she could not dismiss it so easily nor fit it into a tidy slot in her brain.
She knew of one sure way to bring her thoughts into order and she concentrated on feeding Ellie. When she was satisfied the baby had taken all she would, she hurried to the kitchen...in need of an escape from the intensity prevailing in her thoughts while sitting so close to Conner, feeling the rise and fall of his chest, hearing his deep voice murmur to the baby. And knowing all the while that Thelma belonged where Kate now sat.
She found food in the pantry that Annie had prepared earlier and served them a simple dinner. She wished she had time to do more. Cooking and baking were pleasures for her. And wonderful diversions. Grandfather joined them to eat.
They all retired to the sitting room again. She needed to get back to her father. As she had done all morning, she prayed he would be handling things well on his own.
She was about to say she must leave when the sound of approaching horses drew their attention to the window. She was holding Ellie, who dozed after another decent feed. Conner hurried to look out. “Pa, Logan and Dawson are back.” His father and two brothers. Conner scrubbed his hand back and forth over his head, as if anxious over their reaction to discovering a baby in the house.
Grandfather made a disapproving sound. “You hoping to frighten them with a scarecrow look by doing that?”
He smoothed his hair into some semblance of order and jammed his hands into his front pockets.
Grandfather continued, “You’ll have to tell them the truth.”
“Yeah. I guess so.”
Kate could almost feel sorry for him, but having fathered a child, he must face up to his responsibilities. Still, she didn’t envy him having to confront his brothers and father.
They all turned to listen to the outer door open and shut, booted feet stomp off the trail dust and then a parade of thuds across the floor toward the sitting room.
Conner’s pa entered, followed by his two sons.
She studied them, wondering how they would react to Conner’s predicament. Bud, the father, was tall, blond and blue-eyed as were all the Marshalls. A man used to working hard and expecting those around him to work equally hard. Dawson, the eldest brother, was now married to Kate’s best friend, Isabelle. Logan, the youngest, was married to Sadie, the schoolteacher.
Bud’s gaze rested on the baby in Kate’s arms. “What do we have here?”
Kate rose, eased the baby into Conner’s hold. “I’ll let you explain.” She walked from the room and into the kitchen, where she couldn’t overhear a conversation she expected would be difficult.
Kate heard no angry sounds as she waited in the kitchen. What sort of reaction would Conner be facing? How would he be feeling? Shame? Regret? She twisted her hands together, wishing she could offer him the same comfort and encouragement he had offered her.
Which was rather silly. All she could offer him was help with Ellie and that only for a few more hours at most.
Logan and Dawson hurried through the kitchen saying they were going to hitch up a wagon. She expected they were going to see their wives. In the men’s absence, Dawson’s six-year-old daughter, Mattie, and his wife, Isabelle, had gone to town to visit Sadie and the children she and Logan had adopted.
She stared at the doorway to the dining room. She couldn’t see the sitting room door beyond. What had taken place in her absence?
Bud strode through the room, muttering under his breath. Grandfather shuffled out to sit on the veranda and she waited. Should she return?
“Kate?” Conner’s voice came to her and she needed no more invitation to hurry back. Perhaps he would tell her what had transpired. She drew to a halt, facing Conner.
“That went as well as could be expected.” Conner sat with Ellie cradled close to his chest, wariness in his eyes. “Dawson is going to ask Sheriff Jesse to come out and see me. I’ll ask him to find Thelma. Dawson said he could easily give Jesse all the needed information, but I’d like to see him myself.” He shrugged. “Maybe I can explain a few things and hope he’ll understand.”
She kept her attention on the baby. How did he hope to explain away a baby daughter? There was simply no way. Thelma must be found. He must marry her. Kate would no longer be needed. But who was she fooling? Once Conner’s sisters-in-law returned, Kate would have no reason to stay. Yes, the baby was weak still, her condition fragile, but she was eating. Anyone could take care of her now.
“I can’t imagine going through another night like last night,” he said.
“You will manage just fine. Just make sure she eats often.”
His mouth drew back. His eyes widened. He wore the expression of a fearful man.
She almost laughed. “She’s getting stronger with every feeding.”
He shook his head. “What if something happens? What if she takes a turn for the worse? Or—” His mouth worked before he finished. “What if she chokes again? Can’t you at least stay overnight?”
She assessed her choices. Ellie likely needed her more than Father did. And she truly wanted to tend the baby a little longer...to hold her, feel her chest rise and fall with each breath, listen to her suck the bottle and catch a fleeting smile or two. “I’ll stay, but I must get word to my father and ask him to send a few things for me.”
“Here, hold Ellie. I’ll go let Logan and Dawson know they need to stop by before they leave. There’s paper and pencil in the desk that you can use to write a note to your father.” He pointed to the rolltop desk in the corner. “Help yourself.”
“Thanks.” But he was gone before she finished. She smiled at Ellie. “I’m glad I get to enjoy you for a few more hours.” She cradled the baby in one arm as she quickly wrote a note explaining the situation and asking Father to send out a few items of clothing. She finished with, Are you doing okay? If you need me, I will come back.
She folded the paper just as Dawson came to the door and handed him the note. “This is for my father. He’ll want to send a bag back with you.”
“I’ll take care of it. Kate, I’m glad you’re staying.” His footsteps rang across the kitchen floor, and seconds later, the rattle of a wagon signaled his departure to town.
Kate stared toward the sound. She’d been away all morning and into the afternoon. Was Father managing okay or was he suffering memory lapses? What if he had one while tending a patient? If something happened, it would be her fault for leaving him.
She turned back to Ellie. But if she left the baby, how would Conner manage on his own?
How would she live with herself if things went wrong?
Conner returned and took the baby while Kate prepared a bottle.
He chuckled as he fed Ellie. “Logan was in a mighty big hurry to get to town.”
“I suppose he misses his family.”
“It was good of Sadie to give up teaching to be a mother.” He referred to the fact that Logan and Sadie had adopted three orphans. “Is there anything nobler than providing a home for a family?”
“Isn’t it nobler to serve a bigger cause, help more than those in a family circle?” She’d been taught so since the Bakers had adopted her at age ten. Even Grammie, before her death, had asked Katie, as she was then called, to use her gift wisely. Kate knew she referred to her ability to help those ill and suffering. She’d been doing so for Grammie for over a year as she’d grown weaker. “I thought it was too bad she gave up teaching.” She laughed a little in an attempt to hide her defensiveness.
Ellie blinked and her eyes focused.
“Do it again,” Conner said. “She likes it.”
“Do what?”
“Laugh. It got her attention.”
“I can’t laugh unless I’m amused.” And at the moment she wasn’t feeling very amused at Conner’s opinion about Sadie giving up teaching. It seemed to her she could do both. After all, Sadie was an exceptionally good teacher and there were far too few of them out in western Montana.
Conner brought his gaze to her and studied her a moment. “How many men are willing to live with sharing a wife with the whole world?”
“Probably none, which is why I don’t intend to combine doctoring with marriage or raising a family.” She’d made a promise to Grammie, but besides that, she liked taking care of people. It went a long way toward filling her heart.
“I think I hear someone riding in.” She rushed to the window. “Yes, it’s Dawson and he’s got Isabelle and Mattie with him.” Unable to stop her rush of words, she recited every detail of the man’s approach. “I hear him talking to Grandfather.” And then the outer door opened and booted feet crossed the floor.
“Howdy,” Dawson said. He handed a satchel to Kate. “Your father put a note in there for you.”
“Thanks.” She took the bag and reached in for the paper her father had written on.
“Jesse is on his way?” Conner asked.
“’Fraid not. There was a note on the door saying he had gone to Great Falls with a prisoner. He’ll be back in the morning. Now I’m going home to enjoy some time with my wife and child.” He strode from the room.
Kate unfolded the message and read, Dear Kate, you must indeed stay and tend that baby. I am coping admirably though I haven’t been able to find the carbolic acid. Stay as long as you are needed. As you ask, I will send for you if I think it necessary. Blessings, your father.
She folded the page carefully and returned it to the satchel. She’d put the carbolic acid on the shelf where it belonged. Was Father having a forgetful spell? They had grown infrequent in the past few weeks, but having her away, not pointing toward the things he needed, not reminding him what he meant to do would surely be a test of his recovery. She shivered. If he should fail while she wasn’t there to direct him, it could prove disastrous. Father God, please keep his mind clear. Don’t let him make a mistake.
She lifted her head to discover Conner watching her.
“Is everything all right with your father?”
“What do you mean? What could be wrong?” She’d done her best to cover her father’s momentary lapses as he mended.
Conner’s eyes narrowed. “I wasn’t suggesting there was. But I saw the little worry frown in your forehead and wondered what caused it.”
“My forehead?” She rubbed the spot that she knew furrowed when she worried overly much. “You’re imagining things.”
He laughed. “Not that line across your forehead and don’t think you can rub it away.”
She covered her forehead with her hand and tried to look as if it didn’t matter a bit. But heat stole up her neck and she knew her blush would reveal how much his words flustered her. Wanting to divert him, she went to the baby, forgetting how close it would bring her to Conner. Thankfully he was too interested in Ellie to notice her warm cheeks and she slowly backed away.
The rest of the afternoon passed quickly with repeatedly feeding Ellie. Knowing Conner and his family must learn to care for the baby on their own, Kate purposely spent as much time in the kitchen as she could. Annie was a good housekeeper, so there wasn’t a lot to do. Kate washed up the dishes that had accumulated throughout the day, scrubbed the few items of clothing that had accompanied Ellie and hung them to dry. For a moment, she considered making a batch of cookies. But this wasn’t her house. She didn’t have the right.
However, they had to eat and she prepared another meal from the food Annie had left. Conner held the baby in one arm, just like he’d been born to be a father, as he joined the others at the table.
Kate sat on the chair that Bud indicated, across from Conner. Grandfather and Bud sat across from each other. It was Grandfather who offered the grace.
“We’re grateful for the food, Lord, but right now we’re concerned with little Ellie and we beseech You to make her strong. Amen.”
Grandfather concentrated on dishing up food for a moment or two, then turned to Kate. “Conner says you are staying overnight. I have to say I’m glad you’re here. Don’t mind telling you I was worried about that little one in there last night.”
“Can’t see the boy managing on his own,” Bud added. “He thinks because he fed an orphaned calf, he knows about babies.”
Kate laughed at Bud’s woeful tone and wondered how Conner felt about being referred to as “the boy.”
“You, my dear, are an answer to prayer.” Grandfather’s gratitude was a balm to Kate’s soul. “Though we acknowledge that the results are in God’s hands. We humans do what we can. No one should ask any more than that from us. Or us of ourselves.”
She promised herself to keep in mind that gentle reminder to do her job and leave the results in God’s control.
The conversation shifted to talk about the cows Bud and the others had checked on. He brought a good report.
“Sure wish I could go see for myself,” Grandfather said. Then he brightened. “But then I wouldn’t have been here when the baby was dropped off on the doorstep.” He chuckled. “Sure glad I was here to see the look on Conner’s face.” He tipped his head back and roared with laughter.
Conner shook his head and gave a half smile. “It was the last thing I expected.” His gaze came to Kate. His eyes warmed as if to remind her how they had shared that moment of surprise and concern.
For the briefest of moments, she allowed herself to think he enjoyed having her at his side during those first awkward, tension-filled hours. Then she reminded herself she was simply a medical person, appreciated for her ability to help Ellie and teach Conner how to care for his little daughter.
No doubt the sheriff would soon locate Thelma and there would be a wedding for Ellie’s parents.
That was as it should be and she promised herself she would rejoice that Ellie would have a permanent home with a father and mother.
While Kate continued with her own plans...ones that left no room for babies and family. Her decision had been made, based on the facts she understood and accepted.
The men pushed back from the table and Conner took the bottle Kate prepared for Ellie. He remained in the kitchen while she cleaned up. She told herself his only reason for staying had nothing to do with keeping her company and was to have her nearby to coach him, but in truth, he needed no guidance from her. And despite all her arguments against the idea, she enjoyed him being nearby as she worked.
Later, the others went to their rooms, leaving Kate and Conner in the sitting room, caring for the baby.
“You might as well relax in Grandfather’s chair. He often sleeps in it, so I can only assume it’s suitable for a nap,” Conner said.
She sank into the deep armchair, surprised at how weary she was. “It’s very comfortable.”
“Feel free to close your eyes and rest.”
“Just for a few minutes, then I’ll take her and feed her while you sleep for a bit.”
She had no intention of sleeping. Her role there was to provide medical care.
She leaned back, watching Conner from beneath her half-lowered eyelids. He stroked the baby’s face and hummed a lullaby. Little Ellie watched him, slowly drinking from the bottle of milk. Such adoration in Conner’s face. He would be an excellent father.
She must have dozed for she jerked awake, suddenly alert with the sense of someone watching her, and she met Conner’s steady gaze. It must be sleep clouding her mind to think his look was warm. Heat crawled up her neck and pooled in her cheeks. Why was she so aware of this man especially given the circumstances? A father of a baby. And somewhere, a woman who would claim his name. She broke from the intensity of his look and turned toward the baby sleeping contentedly in his arms.
Why was it that, after years of schooling herself to be professional and detached, she continually failed to do so in this situation? What was wrong with her?
* * *
Conner had studied Kate as she slept through the lengthening night hours. She was a beautiful woman with a serenity about her that intensified her beauty.
Familiar sounds of the house settled for the night and the little sleeping noises Ellie made were all that broke the silence. The quiet gave him time to review the events of the day. Like how Pa had reacted when he saw Ellie.
Conner, hoping to delay the questions in his pa’s face, had cradled Ellie in one arm and faced his father and brothers. “Pa, Dawson, Logan, meet Ellie.”
“Howdy,” Pa said and his brothers had each touched the baby’s hands, tenderness in their eyes and curiosity on their faces.
“Why are you holding her like you own her?” Pa asked.
“Yeah, Conner, you can’t bring babies home and keep them,” Logan said. “They aren’t like puppies.”
“Where’d you find her?” Dawson asked.
Conner had plucked Thelma’s note from his back pocket and handed it to Pa. Logan and Dawson read it over Pa’s shoulder. Then three pairs of shocked, disbelieving eyes came to him.
“She’s yours?” Pa’s voice rang sharp enough to make Conner cringe inside. He’d never let anyone see him cringe on the outside.
“No.” It took a minute to convince them Ellie was not his daughter.
“Then why?”
Conner repeated his worry that the baby was in danger. “It’s best if no one knows the truth until we can find Thelma and know why she did this.”
“In the meantime, who is going to look after her?” Pa asked. “Is Annie back?”
Grandfather grunted. “He knows nothing about babies. Thinks they’re like calves. If not for Kate...” He shook his head.
Conner’s confidence in caring for Ellie grew with each feeding, thanks to Kate. Like Grandfather said...if not for Kate. A rod of tension had eased when she agreed to stay the night.
He didn’t know how long he’d been watching her when her eyes opened and their gazes connected. She blinked away her sleep and she sat up, instantly awake. Her gaze darted away from him. Likely she wondered why he watched her so intently.
“You deserve to marry and have a family of your own.” He blamed the fact that they were alone, the room lit only by a lamp, for his rash words.
She jerked her wide-eyed gaze back to him. “That will never be. I am going to become a doctor.” She bolted to her feet.
He caught her hand before she could escape. “You could also be a wife and mother.”
She shook her head. “I know I couldn’t do justice to both roles. Doctors can’t count on being there for family events. I should know.”
The truth hit him like a sledgehammer. “Did you feel you were less important to your parents than their work?”
She tugged at her hand, but he wouldn’t let her get free. She shook her head and turned away.
He knew as surely as he breathed that her life had been full of loneliness and uncertainty. “Oh, Kate.” He felt her pain and confusion as if it were his own and his voice cracked with emotion.
He could not stand to see her so distressed and pulled her close, pressed her face to his shoulder, Kate in one arm, Ellie in the other. His throat tightened. His chest clamped tight so that it hurt to breathe. Why must people be wounded and suffer such pain? Little Ellie so weak because of neglect or illness. Kate feeling neglected by her parents if even for a noble cause.
She shuddered and tried to sit up, but he pressed her back, not ready to let her leave his arms. “I want to hear all about it.”
“They were only doing their job and I understood that. Their dedication was why Grammie sent me to them. ‘You’ve the gift of caring,’ she said to me. ‘Promise me you won’t waste it.’ And I won’t.”
She pulled away and Conner, feeling the depth of her resolve, let her go even though he longed to persuade her that she could make other choices. A promise given to her grandmother when she was a young child should not control her into adulthood. Surely her grandmother would want her to choose what suited Kate best.
“We all must do what we must do.” Her tone was flat as if the final word had been spoken on the subject. “Just as you must marry Thelma.”
“Thelma?” He’d forgotten about her. It was on the tip of his tongue to say he didn’t love her. Perhaps he never had, though it had devastated him for her to walk away without a backward look. It no longer hurt.
He tried not to think of the many reasons she would have sent the baby to him and said it was his—none of them reassuring. A cruel husband and father, choosing her profession over her own baby, or worst—she had died and just before her death arranged for the baby to be taken to Conner. If she was alive and unmarried, would he marry her to give the baby a home? He studied wee Ellie. She certainly deserved a loving, supportive family.
But he could not tell Kate the truth about her or the baby until he found Thelma and straightened things out.
“Time to feed her again.” With a great deal of dignity in every step and in the way she held her head, Kate went to the kitchen.
Conner leaned back. He must tell her the truth about Ellie...that he wasn’t the father. How would she react? Would she welcome the news? He closed his eyes and forced himself to think sensibly. Why would it matter to her? She’d been clear that she had no interest in anything but pursuing her plans to become a doctor.
From Grandfather’s room came a rumbling snore. Bedsprings creaked upstairs as someone rolled over. Outside a horse whinnied softly. From a nearby hill came the yipping of several coyotes. The moon shone through the window, giving a silvery glow to the room. So calm and peaceful. Unfortunately the feeling did not reach his heart. His thoughts tangled with questions about Thelma and why she had sent Ellie to him and a yearning from deep within.
He sat up and met Ellie’s gaze. This tiny little girl was the reminder he needed. He was not going to allow himself to care for a woman who didn’t put him and family life ahead of dreams of what some might see as bigger, better things...like being a singer. Or a doctor. How had Kate put it? She saw it as being nobler.
He had a baby who needed him. And then there was Thelma. Whatever Thelma’s situation, she had done the right thing and sent Ellie to him, no doubt knowing Conner and the entire Marshall family would see that this little one was well taken care of. His life was quite complicated enough at the moment.
Kate returned and gingerly took Ellie from him. Her movements were stiff and unnatural and he couldn’t deny it hurt a little to know she tried not to touch him.
She returned to the armchair and spoke softly to the baby.
Conner caught only a few words...enough to know that Kate informed the baby she was going to eat well and get strong and healthy.
Ellie seemed fascinated with all the things Kate saw for her in the future and drank steadily. Finally, she turned away and smacked her lips.
Kate held the feeding bottle toward the lamplight and gasped. “It’s half gone.” She sprang to her feet. “Conner, Conner. She took half a bottle of milk.”
“She did?” Conner grabbed Kate by her upper arms. “Really and truly?”
“Really and truly.” Kate laughed. “She’s taken a turn for the better.”
“That’s wonderful.” Conner’s voice caught. The good news filled him with an overwhelming sense that the world was a good place. “God has answered our prayers.” He pulled Kate close, the baby between them.
Kate tipped her head back to smile at him. Her smile dipped into his heart. For the moment, all that mattered was the joy over Ellie’s improvement and gratitude toward this woman who had been instrumental in that improvement.
Her gaze held his, searching for what he could not say. But he longed to be the one to give her what she sought.
He trailed the back of his hand along Kate’s cheek. His fingers lingered at the corner of her mouth and his gaze dipped and then he caught her lips in a gentle-as-dawn kiss. If not for the baby between them, he would have held her close.
She pushed away. “How can you kiss me when you belong to Thelma?”
“Kate, it’s not what you think.” He pulled the baby closer as if it would anchor his thoughts.
It failed to do so. He wanted to explain about Thelma.
“I’m not interested in dillydallying with a man. I will be pursuing my studies in medical school as soon as it can be arranged.”
He wasn’t interested in dillydallying either. Nor was he interested in a relationship of any sort with a woman whose plans left no room for him.
But if she knew the truth about the baby and Thelma, would she be willing to consider a different option than the one she seemed committed to? He’d heard loneliness in her voice when she talked about the difference between the family next door and her own. Kate, he knew, wanted and needed family. But she fought it. He wanted her to see that even if there remained no room for him in her heart. But before he could say anything, Grandfather shuffled from his bedroom. “How is the patient this morning?”
Conner realized with a start that the night had flown by. Holding the baby, he told the older man of the improvement.
Grandfather patted her cheek.
Suddenly Conner held the baby away from him. “I believe our little girl’s kidneys are working just fine.”
Kate burst out laughing.
He narrowed his eyes. “You think it’s funny?”
“The look on your face is priceless.” She seemed to try to muffle her amusement as she found a dry diaper in the basket, then took the baby from his arms.
He was glad to have lightened the tension between them. He watched as she changed Ellie’s diaper.
Conner saw her spindly legs and thin thighs. “She’s gaunt.” He blurted out the words without thinking.
Kate finished pinning the dry diaper in place, then turned her serious gaze to him. “She’s been ill or neglected for a long time.”
Conner’s jaw muscles tightened. “I will find Thelma and get an answer as to why this baby is like this.” His heart thudded. Finding Thelma was likely going to make his life even more complicated than it was now.
Grandfather had gone to the kitchen.
Kate faced him. “I know you belong to another woman. We should not have kissed. It must not happen again.”
He had no response. What could he say?
Kate laid the baby in her basket and hurried away without a backward look.
Conner took his time going to the kitchen. How could he explain to Kate he didn’t belong to Thelma in any way? He looked at the baby snuggled in her blankets looking more content than she had since she’d arrived on his doorstep. It was more important to protect Ellie than anything else that he might want to do.
He joined the others for breakfast. Kate sat across the table from him and kept her attention on her plate. Would it make a difference to her to know Ellie wasn’t his daughter? He failed to see how it would. She had made it crystal clear that she would soon be going to medical school with plans to never marry. Imagine not wanting a family. He couldn’t understand it.
Would anything make her change her mind?
Someone banged on the outside door and Pa hurried to open it. He led the sheriff into the kitchen.
“Jesse. Good.” The man was practically a brother and would have helped even if his job didn’t require it.
Jesse greeted everyone.
“Did you get your business tended to?” Pa asked.
Jesse grabbed one of the hard chairs and plunked down, his hat dangling from his hands. “Turned my prisoner over to the marshal and rode home again. But what can I do for you?” He looked at Conner.
Before Conner could answer, Annie clattered into the house. She saw Jesse and Kate. “What’s going on? What did I miss?”
Conner got to his feet. “I’ll show you.” He led the way into the sitting room. Everyone followed. Conner scooped the baby from her basket.
“Ahh,” Annie said, her eyes full of tenderness toward the baby.
Jesse’s mouth fell open. He closed it, swallowed hard and stared. “It’s yours?”
Conner didn’t answer. Let his friend draw his own conclusions.
Jesse tried again. “You have a baby?”
“Thelma does.” He wondered if Kate would notice the distinction he made.
“Thelma is back?” Jesse glanced around. “Where is she?”
“She’s not here.” Everyone waited for him to continue. “I need you to find her for me.”
“Where do you suggest I look?”
“She was with the traveling show last I heard from her. But that was a year and a half ago.”
“I know the show you mean. I’ll make some inquiries,” Jesse said. “So this is your baby? A boy or girl?”
“Little girl. Elspeth, but we call her Ellie.”
Jesse watched the baby for several minutes, shook his head as if he still didn’t believe what he saw. “You sure you want me to find Thelma?”
Conner opened his mouth but could not utter a word. What did Jesse mean?
Jesse continued, “She could take the baby away and it’s obvious you’re very fond of her.”
Conner wondered how Jesse had come to that conclusion. From the look on Conner’s face, the way he held the baby close to his heart or had he seen some other indication?
Kate crowded to Conner’s side and stroked Ellie’s head. “Doesn’t he have as much right to keep the baby and care for her as Thelma?”
Grandfather harrumphed. Pa gave Conner a very pointed look.
“Not if I’m not the father.” He spoke quietly, knowing his news would shock her.
Silence followed his admission.
Jesse broke the silence. “Then why is the baby here?”
“I don’t know, and until we learn the reason, would you keep the fact she isn’t mine a secret?”
“Of course.” Jesse headed for the door. “I’ll start inquiries about Thelma.”
The others quietly slipped away, leaving Conner and Kate.
Kate came round to face Conner. “You’re not the father? Why would you lead me to think otherwise?”
“I didn’t know why Thelma sent her to me. I still don’t.”
Kate kept her head down so he couldn’t see her face. It left him floundering to guess how his announcement had affected her. “Does it make a difference?”
“It changes nothing.” Her head high, she returned to the kitchen, not once looking his direction.
He had his answer as to whether or not she would reconsider her decision regarding a family.
There was no reason he should feel a weight of disappointment pressing on his heart.
She’d never given him reason to think otherwise.
Nor had he changed his mind about protecting his heart against a woman like her.
Except could he really think she was the least bit like Thelma?
Chapter Four (#uecad81bd-dac9-5295-8ebd-3128781f7a34)
He wasn’t Ellie’s father.
The words echoed in Kate’s head. It left him free of obligation to marry Thelma. Not that it changed anything for her. Her plans were the same as ever: see that Father was well enough to manage on his own and then go to medical school.
Another thought interrupted her insistence. Conner had grown very fond of Ellie. Would he marry Thelma in order to keep the baby?
She knew it was a possibility.
Annie started washing the breakfast dishes.
Kate grabbed a towel and began to dry them.
“You don’t need to do that,” Annie said. “I fully expected to have a mess to clean up when I returned. Instead, I find the kitchen clean except for a few breakfast things. Not that I mind the work. It’s worth it to have a good visit with Carly.”
“I’ve always found it soothing to do housework.” No drama, no fears, no obligations.
“Pa said you didn’t know the baby wasn’t Conner’s. I’m guessing it surprised you to learn the truth.”
Kate nodded, her resolve returning. “It restores my belief that he is an honorable man, but apart from that, it changes very little for me. This is something he and your family have to sort out.” Her job here was about done. And none too soon. Several times she’d found herself forgetting her goal, attracted to a man in a way she could not allow.
They finished cleaning the kitchen. “Now that you’re home, I will show you how to feed Ellie.”
Looking apprehensive and eager at the same time, Annie accompanied her to the sitting room. Kate explained her plan to Conner. “The baby is going to need lots of care. Until you find Ellie’s mother, you’re going to need help. I’ll show Annie and your grandfather how to feed her.” Though the baby would soon need nothing more than someone to prepare a bottle for her.
Annie settled into a chair and Kate put the baby in her arms, noting that Annie seemed at ease with holding Ellie. No doubt she had held lots of babies, including her niece Mattie. “Okay, little Ellie, it’s time to eat. Show your auntie Annie what you can do.” Except Annie wasn’t her auntie. Kate needed to readjust her thinking.
Ellie looked at Annie, then found Kate. Her expression brightened with recognition and she started to drink the milk. Pleasure at knowing the baby sought her was laced with resolve to walk away from the situation. She had come as a medical person to help. Success meant she would no longer be needed.
Kate watched, satisfied the baby was doing well. “Excellent job. Now let’s give Grandfather a turn.” Kate placed the baby in the old man’s arms. “Sweetie, everyone calls this man Grandfather.”
Grandfather sighed. “It’s been far too long since I’ve had the pleasure of holding a little one.”
Kate bent over the baby. “Did you hear that? He likes you.”
But it was Kate the baby looked at as she sucked her milk. And it was Kate’s arms that ached to hold her close. She glanced toward Conner. He was watching her and smiled...a gentle, sad sort of smile as if he regretted the way she’d learned the truth. Or perhaps he’d guessed at her confused feelings. She tried to look away, to convince herself she handled this situation very well, but she couldn’t. Not any more than she could stop the sting of tears that she blinked away.
The smile in Conner’s eyes deepened as if he understood. How could he? He was surrounded by his family, all ready and willing to support him in caring for Ellie, while Kate would return home with empty arms.
And an empty heart?
No. Her thinking was clouded. She was returning to resume her own plans.
She forced her mind back to her rightful role.
“She’s stopped eating,” Grandfather said, and Kate turned back to Ellie. She checked the bottle.
“A good feeding. Excellent.” She was no longer needed here. She took the baby. There was no reason she couldn’t put the baby in her basket or give her to Conner, who watched her closely. But she wanted to hold her as long as she could.
The baby didn’t sleep but watched Kate with wide, deep brown eyes.
Ellie rumbled her lips. Her eyes widened. She did it again.
Kate laughed and shifted closer to Conner. “Look at this. Do it again, Ellie.”
Ellie looked at Conner, rumbled her lips and gave Conner a look that seemed to say, “Your turn.”
“I think she wants to play.” Conner rumbled his lips and waited. Ellie did it again. Back and forth they went until Kate started laughing.
They played with the baby until it was time to feed her again and then she slept. Kate put her in her basket. She smiled down at the sleeping baby, then turned to Conner.
Kate had promised herself she would leave the baby for the Marshalls to tend, but here she was, alone with Conner, sharing the care of Ellie and enjoying every minute of it.
She hurried into the kitchen, where Annie was busy cooking. “Can I help?”
“You could prepare the vegetables in the basin for dinner. I’m running late. It seems I always have more work than time.” She sighed. “But I suppose that’s what most women say.”
Kate washed the potatoes and carrots in the sink and put them on the stove to cook, watching them until they boiled.
Together, they prepared a meal.
“It’s nice having another woman in the kitchen with me,” Annie said.
“You’re very efficient.”
“I’ve had lots of practice.”
“I know.” She wondered if Annie ever wished she wasn’t responsible for her father, grandfather and brothers. Though only one brother remained at home. Perhaps soon Conner would establish his own home with Thelma and Ellie.
No matter what Conner’s future held, it would not include Kate.
Pain grabbed at her chest and she paused, her hands curled into fists, waiting for it to pass.
Grandfather and Bud came in from outside.
“Dinner will be ready shortly,” Annie said, and the men sat down to look at the newspaper they had gotten in town.
With a guilty start, Kate realized how long she’d been absent from the sitting room and hurried back to check on Ellie and Conner.
Conner held the baby. “I was about to call and see if she should eat again.”
“I’ll prepare a feed immediately.” She returned to the kitchen to do so.
She came back and handed him the bottle. “You and your family will soon be able to take care of her without my help.”
He got Ellie eating, then turned back to her. “You’re anxious to leave?”
It should have been easy to agree with him, but she could not be untruthful. “Leaving her is going to be difficult.”
Their gazes caught and held. The air seemed awash with liquid sunshine. A jolt of something both sweet and sad rushed through her. How had she allowed this to happen? To be drawn to a man and child when she knew they could never be hers. Even if Conner was free, Kate had plans that made it impossible to picture herself in their lives. And yet she did. In full, vibrant color, every detail bright with joy.
She ripped her attention from Conner. Remembered he’d asked a question. “My father needs my help.” And when he didn’t, she would head back east for medical school. That was her plan. Her purpose. Her calling.
Ellie ate well for Conner. Kate didn’t need to hover nearby and yet she did. Conner’s attention was on the baby, allowing Kate to study the pair. Conner’s face revealed love for Ellie. She shivered, thinking of what the future might hold for this pair. Please, God, protect them from pain and sorrow.
He put the baby in her basket to sleep, then he and Kate joined the others in the kitchen. Kate remained in the kitchen after the meal and helped Annie with the dishes and swept the floor for her, finding, as always, a comfort in doing routine things.
“I’m going outside for a bit,” Annie said. “Do you want to come with me?”
“I’d like that.” It would give her time to get her thoughts back to normal. “Let me tell Conner.” She hurried to the sitting room. Ellie slept in Conner’s arms. He looked up at Kate’s approach and smiled.
“Look at her sleeping so peacefully.”
She faltered, took a deep breath. That look of tenderness in his eyes was meant for Ellie, but for a heartbeat, she’d thought it included her. She folded her hands at her waist. “I’m going outside with Annie for a few minutes.” But she didn’t immediately return to the kitchen, held in the spot by a longing to prolong this moment, make this feeling last, allow herself just a moment or two of filling her heart with—
She jerked away and forced herself to keep her pace reasonable as she left the room, even though everything in her wanted to run.
But did she want to race from the house or back to the pair in the sitting room?
She continued to the kitchen, where Annie waited, and they stepped out into the bright sunshine, which immediately warmed her skin. She sucked in the summer-laden air and looked about.
The mountains rose to the west, greens of every hue filling the woods and covering the hills. Here and there, bright patches of wildflowers dotted the lush landscape. The air carried a hundred different scents...smells of grass, horses, wildflowers and pine from the mountains.
“It’s a beautiful country,” she said, knowing she would miss it when she went east to study. City activity could never outshine the offerings of nature.
“Wild and beautiful,” Annie said as they walked along the path to the garden, then turned toward the barn.
They wandered past the buildings along the trail to a grassy slope. Annie pointed out many things, including the horses in the pen. “Conner is breaking them. He’ll sell them.”
“Does he have special plans?”
“You mean like having a place of his own?” Annie chuckled. “I don’t think so. He’s the only one of my brothers still living at home and he says someone has to stay and help take care of us. He means Grandfather.” She paused. “I think.”
The farther they got from the house, the more Kate’s insides tightened. What if Ellie needed something? She stared at the distant mountains and forced herself to think rationally. Ellie’s needs were not what bothered her, she admitted. It was knowing she would soon no longer be needed. Life for the Marshalls would go on with the addition of Ellie until her future was resolved.
Kate would go back to Bella Creek. She’d help her father, and once she could be assured he was well enough to be on his own, she would leave. St. Louis and medical school awaited her. Nevertheless, she was not comfortable being away from Ellie too long. “I should get back.”
Annie sighed. “I know. Me, too.” They returned to the house at a quicker rate than they had left.
Kate hurried through the kitchen to the sitting room, where Conner held Ellie.
“How is she?” Kate asked.
The baby’s eyes shifted to Kate and she brightened.
“See that? She recognizes you.” Conner’s smile was warm. She was drowning in his approval, floating in the sky of his eyes, forgetting the boundaries she had in her role as her father’s assistant.
Annie followed and stood watching her brother and the baby. “You look pretty comfortable caring for her.”
“I’ve had a good teacher.” His smile was like warm honey to Kate’s insides.
She had taught them what they needed to know. The family would now be responsible for making arrangements for Ellie’s care, she reminded herself. They did not need her help in doing so.
Accepting the situation for what it was, she pulled herself together and turned to the brother and sister. “Ellie no longer needs my care.” Please ask me to stay. But what about Father? What about her decision to follow her dream to become a doctor? To not get overly involved with a family again? And especially one with a baby girl?
Kate ducked her head, not wanting Annie or Conner to see her feelings as they stung her eyes.
* * *
Conner could hardly swallow past the tightness in his throat. He didn’t want to make other arrangements for Ellie’s care.
“I’ll help all I can,” Annie said, “but my days are already full.”
He nodded. Would Kate see how much she was needed here? Wanted here? Because she offered something that no one else could and he didn’t mean her expertise. He enjoyed her company, found her presence reassuring, and even with his inexperienced eyes, he could see that Ellie responded to Kate like she didn’t to anyone else.
But it would be wrong to ask Kate to stay. She’d made it clear she planned to devote her life to medicine. He’d hoped she’d show some kind of relief or give him a bright smile when she learned he wasn’t Ellie’s father. But her response had been cold. Enough to inform him she wasn’t interested in accepting any attention from him.
Not that he felt he could offer such. Ellie’s future held so many unknowns. Would Thelma return alone and seeking his help or with a husband in tow? A husband would leave Conner with no right to decide what was best for Ellie.
He was reluctant to leave Ellie in someone else’s care, but he couldn’t continue to hang around the house. He had to pull his share of the workload on the ranch plus work on breaking his horses. Nor could Kate stay much longer. She had her own plans.
God in heaven, send us Your answer. Send us help. Trust calmed his heart. It was strengthened as he remembered it was an oft-repeated prayer of his mother’s.
He glanced past Kate. Annie had slipped away and they were alone, leaving him free to speak his heart. “Kate, you are more than a doctor’s assistant. You do realize that, don’t you?”
She shook her head, her eyes cooling.
“You admit you love this baby. Just as I do.”
She started to turn away, but he caught her by the shoulder and her gaze returned to him.
His heart stalled at the hungry, desperate look in her eyes.
She stood upright and backed away. “I’ll see if Annie needs any help.” She walked through the door, crossed the dining room and went to the kitchen.
She’d explained her reasons for choosing to be a doctor and denying herself a family. On one hand, they seemed noble and good. On the other...well, it sent regret pulsing through every part of his body. It was too great a sacrifice.
Someone came to the door. He recognized Isabelle’s voice. Of course. The answer to his prayer. Why hadn’t he thought of her? She could help with the baby.
The three young women visited in the kitchen. He couldn’t hear what was said but knew Annie and Kate would be bringing Isabelle up to date on recent events. Isabelle had popped over for a quick visit last night but didn’t linger, anxious to be back in her own home.
He smiled at Ellie and whispered, “We’ll ask Isabelle to help with your care.” Even as he rejoiced in the answer to his prayer, his insides twisted. Isabelle would take the baby to her house. Conner wouldn’t be able to see her as often as he liked.
The three ladies entered the room.
Isabelle crossed to Conner’s side and squeezed one of his hands. “They said Jesse has called. I hope he can find Thelma quickly.”
His jaw muscles twitched. “Ellie is going to stay here.” He knew he didn’t have the right to make such a claim, but his heart had spoken. He would do all he could to keep the baby.
Isabelle looked from Kate to Conner and back again. “You’re going to stay here as well?” she asked Kate.
“For a few more hours only.”
“Then what happens to Ellie?”
This was Conner’s opening. “I hoped you would agree to help.”
“Me?” She drew back. “But I know nothing about babies. Not even how to feed them.”
“Kate would show you, wouldn’t you?”
Kate nodded, though she didn’t appear overjoyed about it. Dare he believe it meant she was reconsidering her decision? Conner hoped she would look at him. If she did, could he communicate his wish that she could be a more permanent part of Ellie’s care?
Now hold on one minute, he warned himself. It was premature to be making future plans for the baby. Nothing could be decided about her until Jesse found Thelma. Besides, he knew Kate’s plans and they didn’t include a baby.
Isabelle had turned to Kate. “Do you really think I could learn to look after her?”
Kate chuckled. “If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times or more. You can do just about anything you set your mind to.”
Isabelle laughed softly. “You’ve certainly said it a number of times. But that doesn’t mean you’re always right.”
Kate smiled serenely. “But I am this time.”
Isabelle looked at Ellie, who watched Conner as if trying to understand how this conversation would affect her.
“She is very sweet. Yes, I’ll check with Dawson, and if he has no objections, I will help with the baby.” She grinned as if pleased with her decision.
“Good.” Conner was pleased, too.
“There you go. Things have a way of working out, don’t they?” Kate’s words, no doubt meant to sound encouraging, carried a note of regret. At least that was what Conner allowed himself to believe.

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