The Millionaire's Redemption
Therese Beharrie
He’ll prove he’s worthy of her love and her bed!Jacques Brookes is trouble and Lily Newman has already had her heart broken once. But, by pretending to be his girlfriend, she may be the only person who can help the millionaire to redemption. And perhaps it’s also just what Lily needs to believe in love again…
A proposal of convenience!
Jacques Brookes wants the world to see the real him—the man behind the headlines. When he catches the eye of beautiful Lily Newman, he knows she could be just the woman to help him...
Jacques screams trouble—Lily’s already had her heart broken by her cheating ex-fiancé. But by pretending to be Jacques’s girlfriend she may be the only person who can help him on his journey to redemption. And he could be just what Lily needs to believe in love again!
Lily took a shaky breath as she walked into the Latté Morning studio. She still wasn’t sure why she was there.
When she’d gotten home the previous night, she’d convinced herself that she would forget all about Jacques. Especially since she still felt raw because his interest in her—his kindness to her—had all been a ploy to get her to help him.
She’d told herself she should have known. Her ex, Kyle, had been nice to her once upon a time. It was how she’d fallen for him—and how she’d learned niceness was never simple.
But still, it stung.
His dismissal felt like confirmation that she wasn’t likable. And even though he’d claimed otherwise, his actions had shown her the truth. It had amplified all of her insecurities, and she’d been determined to escape it. She’d been determined to show Jacques she was as right for his plan as anyone else was. So she’d kissed him.
It was impulsive. It was hot. It was everything she’d expected from a man with Jacques’s undeniable sexiness and charm. But there was something more, too. She remembered the scar above his mouth again, the fight he’d said he’d had with Kyle, and realized it was dangerous, too.
It both thrilled and terrified her that she seemed to be attracted to the danger she sensed in Jacques. And though she wanted to, she couldn’t deny that it was part of the reason she was walking into a television studio at six in the morning to pretend to be his girlfriend. She knew this plan was a form of redemption for him.
The Millionaire’s Redemption
Therese Beharrie
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
THERESE BEHARRIE has always been thrilled by romance. Her love of reading established this, and now she gets to write happily-ever-afters for a living and about all things romance in her blog at theresebeharrie.com (http://www.theresebeharrie.com). She married a man who constantly exceeds her romantic expectations and is an infinite source of inspiration for her romantic heroes. She lives in Cape Town, South Africa, and is still amazed that her dream of being a romance author is a reality.
For my husband, who was the official consultant for this book (and the unofficial consultant for every other). Thank you for making me see that I am more than enough.
For my mother, who taught me that the best way to deal with bullies is to believe in myself and work even harder. Thank you for helping me through it.
And Lunelle, who’s always willing to defend me (even when it isn’t necessary). Thank you for your love and support.
I love you all.
Contents
Cover (#u46364540-3ee8-534b-baec-1f1dc19c7623)
Back Cover Text (#ua72ec857-a7b3-5940-9c52-aeb8fd4a9691)
Introduction (#u992f258d-508e-543a-bb43-d7d8f60fe27c)
Title Page (#udb17b74c-fed3-5cfb-8bcf-4bb423ce23fb)
About the Author (#ufcb20fc5-d62c-5112-9e10-cc9ea9be8045)
Dedication (#uf73d513d-67c4-58d3-bdd3-f9d590b735c9)
CHAPTER ONE (#u5c8a0bc3-5bed-58af-a558-7f59d7b66c67)
CHAPTER TWO (#u359eafad-7381-5127-9ebc-3c9c71ff9d77)
CHAPTER THREE (#u157427f7-963e-543a-a019-f49e189f2564)
CHAPTER FOUR (#udbc0caf0-ced3-5d83-b1cf-67c9880654e8)
CHAPTER FIVE (#u20ef742c-f10c-5042-9911-12617f4f3145)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FOURTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIFTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIXTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINETEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#u4251f1d2-486d-519b-9800-37c01c75f833)
‘AND THE SOLUTION you’ve come up with is marriage?’
Lily Newman’s steps faltered at the words. Not because she was at an engagement party—her best friend Caitlyn’s—where marriage was supposed to be celebrated, but because of the anger that stiffened every word she’d overheard.
There was something familiar about the voice, though not because she knew the person speaking. It was just something in the tone... But that was ridiculous, so she focused on the fact that since she didn’t recognise the voice entirely she couldn’t be overhearing either of the individuals she was celebrating that evening.
She looked around to check whether she might be caught eavesdropping. Not that she wanted to be doing that. She had come upstairs to have some time alone. Yes, maybe it did have something to do with seeing her ex-fiancé Kyle arrive with the woman he’d cheated on Lily with. Okay, maybe it had everything to do with that.
Because she hadn’t wanted to face it, she’d escaped the lavish party Caitlyn’s wealthy fiancé Nathan was hosting at his newly purchased home, thinking she might as well explore considering the time she would spend there once her friend was married. But her exploration had ended fairly quickly when she’d heard those angry words from the room she was now standing outside.
‘Mr Brookes, we think—’
Brookes was Nathan’s surname, she thought, and realised why the man’s voice had sounded so familiar. He was one of Nathan’s family. Perhaps the brother Caitlyn had told her Nathan had a tenuous relationship with. The one she’d never met and knew not to bring up in front of Nathan after Caitlyn had told her not to. She knew she should give him his privacy, and was about to leave when the man spoke again.
‘It doesn’t really sound like you were thinking at all, Jade.’
The voice hadn’t risen in volume, but Lily felt a chill go through her.
Poor Jade.
‘We...we actually did put a lot of thought into this, Mr Brookes.’ A male voice took over from Jade, though his words were no more confident.
‘Then take me through your thought process.’
Careful, Lily thought.
She looked around again, saw that she was still alone, and leaned against the wall.
‘We did the research.’ Jade was speaking again. ‘The file we mailed you has all the results from various avenues—test groups, opinion polls, social media. Yes, you’re a successful businessman now, but you’ve done that largely outside of the public eye. People still remember you as the man who lost the Shadows Rugby Club their chance to compete internationally. They remember you as the man who would do anything to win a game, but took it too far in the end.’
There was a pause, and then Jade continued hesitantly. ‘And then all the attention was on your suspension, and the partying you did during the year after your last game for the Shadows...’
‘You’re not telling me anything new.’ The words were flat. ‘I hired you because I knew that it would be difficult to...restore my image. But I’m doubting my decision now, since you’re telling me marriage is the only way I can do that.’
‘It’s not the only way,’ the other man Lily had yet to identify said quickly. ‘But it’s the fastest way. And considering that the buy-out is time-sensitive...’ He trailed off.
There was silence for a while, and Lily pushed away from the wall. Guilt spread through her when she realised she shouldn’t be listening to a private conversation. Sure, she wanted to know more about Nathan’s mysterious brother—if that was who he was—but it was purely out of curiosity. There really wasn’t a reason for her to listen to Nathan’s family’s business.
She turned away, forcing herself to act like the confident woman she was trying to be and face Kyle, but she paused when she heard the voices in the room again.
‘I shouldn’t have asked you to come to my brother’s engagement party.’
So he was Nathan’s brother.
‘We can discuss this tomorrow, after the TV interview.’
Her thoughts froze when she realised the man was now walking towards the door, and her legs moved just in time to avoid being caught. She hurried down the passage and turned the corner that led to the stairs...
And then stilled when she saw the man she was trying to avoid walking up them.
Kyle.
His date—the other descriptions in her mind weren’t quite as polite—was giggling as he whispered something into her ear. Lily had never bothered to learn the woman’s name—why would she need to know the name of the woman she’d caught naked in her fiancé’s arms?—but she did remember the red hair and petite frame.
It made her pull at the dress Caitlyn had begged her to wear a few days ago. It was too tight, Lily thought desperately. She wished with all her might that it wasn’t in a shocking red colour that did nothing to hide the curves Lily had plenty of—too many, in fact.
Her pretend confidence was already dwindling, she realised. And although there was a part of her that told her it was to be expected when she was about to face the man who had broken her down throughout their relationship—who had cheated on her—she had expected more of herself.
It also did her no good to notice how much smaller than Lily Kyle’s date was. She watched the man she had once thought she loved slide a hand around the woman’s tiny waist, pulling her close enough that there was no space between them. They were sneaking away to fool around, she realised, nausea fierce in her belly. How many times had she thwarted Kyle’s attempts to do just that with her when they were at parties? He hadn’t only found a woman smaller than her, Lily thought. She was also the risk-taker Kyle had always wanted and Lily would never be.
In the split second before Kyle saw her Lily decided to take a risk. She wanted Kyle to think that she had been making out with someone upstairs. That the thing she had refused to do with him—the thing he had found someone else for—she was now doing with someone other than him.
She would probably think that it was a terrible decision later, but as she fluffed her coiled curls and rubbed her lips together to smudge her lipstick she only hoped one thing—that Nathan’s brother had a sense of humour.
‘Lily?’
Kyle’s voice immediately sent her skin crawling and her heart galloping. She couldn’t believe that she’d once found that voice attractive. Now she heard the slime curl around every word.
She lifted her eyebrows. ‘Kyle? I didn’t see you there. How are you?’
The of-course-you-saw-me glint in Kyle’s eyes set her teeth on edge and had a small part of herself recoiling.
‘I’m well. How are you? I heard you managed to get that bookstore up and running eventually.’
‘It’s doing really well, actually. My initial investment was quite substantial, as you know.’
Kyle’s eyes hardened, and satisfaction pumped through her. But then it gave way to the usual feelings of disgust at the thought of how their relationship had ended. At how she’d compromised her integrity, her dignity.
She ignored the fact that her self-confidence was deteriorating with every moment she spent in his presence.
‘You’ve never met Michelle before, have you? At least not officially.’ Kyle pushed the woman forward. ‘We’re getting married in a few months.’
‘Congratulations,’ she answered, and though ice stiffened her spine at the woman’s cold look she felt nothing else at the news that Kyle was getting married.
That didn’t mean relief didn’t wash over her when she heard steps behind her.
Not even considering that it might be someone else, she spoke again. ‘I didn’t think you needed that much time to recover, honey...’
She turned around, and the words tailed off when she saw her supposed ‘boyfriend’ for the first time. His skin was the colour of coffee with cream, complemented by dark hair tousled in a style that made her fingers wish they’d been the ones to style it. His dark eyes were stormy, and she realised she had taken a massive gamble with the man—he was clearly still upset about the conversation he had just had.
But the storm cleared immediately after that thought, and was replaced by a look of calm that made her feel even more uneasy. His eyes flickered over her, and then looked at Kyle before resting on her again. The calm then transformed into interest—amusement, too, she thought—with the faintest hint of some secret knowledge that made her skin heat.
He looked nothing like his traditionally handsome brother. His face was made of rugged planes that suggested he had a thousand stories to tell, and just above his mouth was a scar that she could imagine feeling during a kiss.
When the sides of the lips she was admiring curved upwards, she flushed. He might not be traditionally handsome, but he sure as hell was sexy.
‘“Honey”? You and Jacques...you’re dating?’
Kyle interrupted her perusal, and Lily felt her tongue stick in her mouth when she realised that Kyle knew Nathan’s brother—Jacques.
You should have thought of that, Lily admonished herself.
She knew that Kyle was here because Nathan worked in Kyle’s family’s law firm. Nathan loved his job, and hadn’t wanted to upset the prestigious Van der Rosses by not inviting the man who would one day become his boss. Caitlyn had assured her it was the only reason Lily’s ex-fiancé had been invited.
‘Yes, we’re dating.’
The smooth baritone of Jacques’s voice sent shivers down Lily’s spine, and she struggled to shake the feeling.
‘For how long?’ Kyle said, and she turned back to see the smugness disappear.
It bothered him, she thought, her heart accelerating in an instinctual response to Kyle’s anger. But then she paused, and told herself she didn’t have to be worried about him lashing out.
She didn’t have to worry about him at all any more.
‘Almost six months now,’ she said as Jacques moved down a step to stand beside her. He was a full head taller than she was, and she tried to ignore the awareness that realisation brought.
‘Six months?’ Kyle repeated, and she saw his eyes flash.
They’d broken up a year ago, and clearly he thought six months was too short a time for her to mourn for him.
‘It doesn’t feel like six months, though,’ Jacques said, and she shifted her gaze to him. ‘I barely feel like I’ve scratched the surface with you.’
So he did have a sense of humour, she thought, and smiled. When he responded with a smile of his own her breath caught and she thought something crackled between them. Her heart thudded when Jacques wrapped an arm around her waist, and for a moment she forgot that it was all a game and lifted her hand to brush at a piece of his hair.
‘How did you two meet?’
Kyle’s voice punctured the tension in the air and she looked at him with a foggy mind. It took her a minute, but when she came out of her Jacques-induced haze she noted the grim set of Kyle’s lips. He really didn’t like this, she thought, and waited for the panic. For that quick rush of trepidation that anticipated that she was about to be put in her place.
But nothing came. And somehow she knew it was because of the easy strength exuded by the man at her side.
‘I’d love to tell you all about it, Kyle, but we were up there for far too long.’
Lily shot a flirtatious glance at Jacques, and briefly wondered how deep a hole she was digging when she saw a flash of heat in Jacques’s eyes.
‘We should probably spend some time with the happy couple. Enjoy the rest of your evening.’
Taking Jacques’s hand, she hurried down the stairs, weaving her way through the guests. She only stopped once they were outside on the balcony, and then she immediately let go.
‘I’m so sorry about that,’ she said hurriedly, her chest suddenly tight.
Just breathe, Lily, it’s over now.
‘Care to explain?’
There was a slight breeze in the air and Lily walked to the edge of the balcony, turning her face towards the wind. It helped steady her, and when she opened her eyes—when she saw the view in front of her—that did, too.
Nathan’s new house stood at the top of the Tygerberg hills in Cape Town, and she could see Table Mountain and most of the city from where she was. It reminded her of how small her problems were.
Even the after-effects of a bad relationship.
‘How about we start with an introduction?’
Her words were said a little breathlessly, and she cleared her throat. Nerves had replaced panic, and she glanced around. No one was paying attention to them. That helped.
‘Lily Newman—best friend to the bride-to-be.’ She offered a hand.
‘Jacques Brookes—brother of the groom-to-be.’
He took her hand and it was like touching the coals of a fire. It made her want to break the contact immediately, but he held on, shaking her hand slowly. The heat went up her arm, through her chest...
Before it could move any further she pulled her hand away. ‘Nice to meet you,’ she said, and folded her arms, constraining the hands that suddenly wanted more of the fire. ‘It probably would have been better if that had happened before the whole debacle inside.’
‘I don’t know,’ he answered with a sly smile. ‘It was much more interesting than the way I usually meet girls.’
‘I’m sure you must mean women, because clearly...’ She gestured to herself, and then flushed when she saw appreciation in his eyes.
But he only said, ‘Touché,’ and made her wonder why she’d said those words.
They’d made her sound sassier than she was. As if she was in his league. As if she was used to playing the cat-and-mouse game of flirtation. She almost laughed aloud at the prospect of being in any league.
No, she thought as she took in how effortlessly Jacques’s muscular body wore his suit. He was way too attractive to be interested in her. Someone who looked like him spent time with models and actresses—definitely not with women who had more than twenty-five per cent body fat.
She distracted herself by offering the explanation he’d asked for earlier. ‘Kyle’s my ex-fiancé—’
She broke off when he lifted a hand, and she saw that his ring finger was a little crooked.
‘The one who dumped him a month before the wedding?’
‘Yes.’
‘I always thought the woman who did that had some balls.’
She smiled. ‘Thanks.’
‘It doesn’t explain why you dated him in the first place.’
It was the same thing she’d asked herself when she’d realised how poorly he’d treated her. But that realisation had only come at the end—when she’d been forced to see the truth. She’d been blinded by how charming, how handsome he was at first. And at all the times when he’d switched it on again sporadically throughout their relationship.
But the simple truth was that the blinkers had been kept in place because he’d been interested in her. It had been intoxicating—until it hadn’t been. And then she’d found him with a naked woman and regained the gift of sight. It had grown clearer with each hour that had passed after she’d ended it. With each phone call Kyle had made. With each threat...
She was ashamed that she’d dated a bully—that she would have married him—just because she didn’t think enough of herself. She’d dealt with bullies her entire life—she should have known better. And then there was the guilt, the indignity of her actions after the break-up...
‘Some things you only realise with time,’ she finally answered Jacques.
‘Touché,’ he said again.
She watched him shift his weight from one leg to the other and frowned. The movement was so out of place for a man who clearly had an abundance of confidence. She thought of the conversation she’d overheard, wondered if what she saw was vulnerability, and felt it hit straight at her heart.
No! she commanded herself. She had her hands full with her own problems. Like the store she’d wanted all her life—had sold a piece of herself to start—which was failing. She needed to focus on fixing that—on fixing herself—before she could even think of getting involved with someone else’s problems.
And yet when she looked at the sexy man in front of her the resolutions that she’d thought were firmly in place seemed hazy.
‘Kyle didn’t seem to like you,’ Lily said to distract herself. ‘Why is that?’
Jacques moved closer, and the breeze brought his fresh-from-the-shower scent to her nose. Her insides wobbled as attraction flowed through her, but she chose to ignore it.
Or tried to.
‘We have history.’
Lily waited for him to continue. When he didn’t, she said, ‘That’s all you’re going to tell me?’
He chuckled. ‘Apparently not.’
He leaned against the balcony’s railing.
‘Our families run in the same circles, so I’d met him a few times before Nathan started to work for him. Because I knew he was a—’ He looked at her, as though checking what her reaction would be, and then continued with a grin. ‘Because I knew he wasn’t a very nice person, I used to make a game out of stealing his dates.’
Her heart raced. ‘But you stopped?’
Something sparked in his eyes. ‘A while before you, yes. Unfortunately.’
Her face heated and she leaned against the railing as well, looking away from the view he was facing towards. She didn’t want him to see how uncomfortable he made her. And heaven only knew why she was staying there with him so that he could make her uncomfortable.
‘Why?’
‘Why did I stop?’
She nodded, and he sighed.
‘Because Nathan started working for Kyle’s firm. Because I stopped going to events he would be at.’
Jacques fell silent, and Lily wondered if he was remembering why he’d stopped going to those events. Had it been because he’d started playing rugby? Because he’d stopped? Had it been during the year after he’d stopped?
She folded her arms again when guilt nudged her at the way she’d got the information to wonder those things at all.
‘And,’ Jacques said after a while, ‘because I didn’t have time to deal with the punches he tried to throw at me.’
Surprise almost had her gasping. ‘Kyle tried to hit you?’
His lips curved and her pulse spiked.
‘Tried being the operative word. It was entertaining for me...painful for him, I imagine.’
‘You hit him back?’
‘Don’t sound so surprised. I was defending myself.’
It took her a moment to process that, and then she laughed. ‘I would have paid to see that.’
He smiled. ‘You could still see it.’
She gave him a look. ‘I’m not actually going to pay you to hit my ex.’
Jacques laughed. ‘It wouldn’t cost you much if you wanted me to, but I wasn’t talking about that. I saw the way he looked at us when he heard we were together. He hated it. So I bet if you and I go into that party right now and pretend to be a couple for a while longer his reaction would pretty much be the same as a punch in the gut.’
She’d barely had enough time to consider his proposal before he’d pushed up from where he was leaning and moved closer to her, sliding an arm around her waist. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened as she drew a quick breath. She watched his eyes lower to it. He only needed to dip his head—it was barely five centimetres away—and she would know if she could really feel that scar during a kiss...
He moved his mouth until it was next to her ear and whispered, ‘Kyle’s watching, so you might want to make that decision quickly.’
CHAPTER TWO (#u4251f1d2-486d-519b-9800-37c01c75f833)
JACQUES COULDN’T DENY enjoying the way the woman he’d only just met shivered in his arms. Or the look her ex—a man he had a very low opinion of—was aiming at him. But those things were irrelevant to him at that moment. What was relevant was an opportunity to do just as his PR firm had advised. An opportunity that had just fallen into his lap, and would get him exactly what he wanted if he used it properly.
Lily shifted, reminding him that the opportunity wasn’t an it but a who.
‘If I say yes, will you let go of me?’
She asked it in a shaky tone, and he looked down into uncertain eyes. They became guarded a moment later, and he frowned, wondering where the spirit he’d admired earlier had gone.
‘I’ll let go of you regardless, Lily.’
He spoke softly, but forced his heart to harden. He couldn’t feel anything for her—including empathy. It would make using her a lot more difficult.
It sounded harsh, even to him, but he knew he would do it if it meant he could redeem himself from the mistakes he’d made in the past. He’d been trying to do that since he’d realised he was only proving people right—specifically his father—by acting the way he had during the year after his suspension.
The realisation had had him channelling the ‘I’ll do whatever it takes’ motto he’d been known for during his rugby days into building a sporting goods company. Into making it a success.
Now it was. And yet people still thought of him as the bad boy who’d beaten up his opponent seven years ago, and it grated him. So when he’d heard that his old rugby club was being sold, he’d known it was an opportunity. He could go back to the root of it all—to where his problems had started.
The irony was that he needed a better reputation to get the club he believed would change his poor reputation. And Lily was the key to that.
‘Let’s do it.’
The words were said firmly, surprising him after the brief moment of vulnerability he’d just seen, but he simply asked, ‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes.’
She gave a quick nod, and then moved her mouth so that it was next to his ear, just as he had done to her earlier. It made it seem as if she was responding to his question—something her action made seem suggestive—and he would have appreciated the strategy if a thrill hadn’t gone through his body, distracting him.
‘We’ll have to tell Caitlyn about this. If she sees us and thinks we’re together she’s going to freak out.’
She pulled back and laid a hand on his chest—an intimate gesture that had his heart beating too hard for his liking.
‘That would probably be best,’ he answered stiffly.
It took him a moment to figure out whether his tone came because of the effect she had on him or the prospect of speaking to his brother.
A fist clenched at a piece of his heart as it always did when he thought of Nathan, but he tried to focus on his task. He took Lily’s hand and led her through the crowd of people he no longer cared enough about to know to where his brother and Caitlyn were standing.
Holding Lily’s hand sent awareness up and down his arm, but he ignored it. Attraction wasn’t something new to him. There’s more with her, a voice taunted, and again he tried to think of something else. But his options seemed limited to things he didn’t want to think about, and he sighed, realising he would have to face at least one of them.
His brother won, Jacques thought as they reached the circle of people Nathan and Caitlyn were surrounded by. The easy air that Nathan carried around him—the way it translated into ease around people—had always been something Jacques had admired. Sometimes envied. Until he’d realised that people were overrated. One day they saw you as a hero, doing things they admired—the next those very things were criticised and that was how they defined you.
But Jacques knew it was also the easy way Nathan approached their less than stellar parents. How he was still in touch with them when Jacques hadn’t seen them in years. How he could still want to be a part of their family after all they’d had to deal with growing up...
He stopped that train of thought when he saw they’d attracted Nathan’s attention, and with a slight nod of his head Jacques indicated they go to a quieter corner of the room.
‘I’m glad you came,’ were the first words from his brother’s mouth.
‘You knew I would.’
Nathan sent Jacques a look that had a lance of guilt piercing his chest. It made him think about how he hadn’t seen either of his parents there that evening—Surprise, surprise, he thought, despite the relief coursing through him—and he realised it was disappointment, not accusation, that had Nathan doubting Jacques. And that it wasn’t exactly Jacques, but their whole family.
While Jacques sympathised with his brother, that feeling was capped by the memory of the thousands of times Jacques had warned Nathan to stop hoping with their parents. Jacques had learnt a long time ago that it would get him nowhere. His anger about it had ended his career, after all. Had taught him to stop trying. And, since he hadn’t seen them in seven years, he figured he’d succeeded in that.
‘Congratulations,’ Jacques said, remembering that this was the first time he’d seen his brother and his fiancée since they’d got engaged.
He brushed a kiss on Caitlyn’s cheek, enjoying the smile that spread over her pretty face, and then went in for the obligatory handshake and pat on the back with his brother.
‘While that was both amusing and touching,’ Lily interrupted with a small smile, ‘I know you both have to do the rounds, so we just wanted to tell you we’re going to pretend to be dating so that I can make Kyle feel a fraction of what I felt when I walked in on him and her—’ she nodded a head in the woman’s direction ‘—naked.’
By the time she was done Jacques could tell that she was out of breath. Which didn’t surprise him, since with each word the pace with which she’d spoken had increased. What did surprise him was what she had said—that Kyle had cheated on her. While he’d been amused at being roped in to being a pretend boyfriend earlier, he understood why she’d done it now. And he no longer felt amusement over the situation.
There was a stunned silence, and then Caitlyn said, ‘Honey, are you okay?’
‘I’m fine.’ Lily brushed one of her delightful curls from her face. ‘We just wanted to warn you in case you wondered. Or got asked about it. And, while we’re speaking about that, we’ve been dating six months. You and Nate introduced us.’
Jacques’s lips twitched at the way their story had evolved, but the amusement faded when he wondered how Kyle could have cheated on someone like Lily.
Someone like Lily? a voice questioned, and he realised it sounded crazy. He barely knew her—she might have cheated on Kyle first. But given what he knew about Kyle and the few moments he’d spent with Lily he highly doubted that she’d been in the wrong.
His opinion of Kyle dropped another notch, and the temptation to relive the night he had knocked the man out boiled in Jacques’s blood. He frowned, wondering where the intensity of his feelings—a mixture of anger and protectiveness—came from. And then he felt his brother’s gaze on him, and looked up into a flash of warning.
Since he’d experienced a surge of protection for Lily himself, he understood it. But it singed him to know Nathan was thinking about Jacques’s past with women. And it burned to know his brother’s warning was on point, considering what he planned to use Lily for.
‘You don’t have to worry, Cait,’ he said, distracting himself.
He knew Caitlyn was the one to win over if he wanted his plan to work. Caitlyn gave him a quick nod, then turned her attention to Lily.
‘You know I never liked him—especially after everything...’ She trailed off, glancing at Jacques. Then she quickly said, ‘I give my blessing for this fake relationship in the name of payback.’
Caitlyn had sparked his curiosity, but it was forgotten when Lily smiled and his chest constricted.
Simple attraction.
He willed himself to believe that when his skin prickled as she took his hand again. And when she looked back with those beautiful eyes of hers to check whether he was okay with it and his heart raced.
He gave her a quick nod, and she started towards the doors that led to the side of the balcony that held the pool. Before he could take more than a few steps with her, someone touched his arm and he looked back.
‘Please...be careful with her,’ Caitlyn said, looking at him with eyes that reflected her plea.
‘I... I will,’ he answered, before he could think to say anything else, and the gratitude that shone from her face had his stomach dropping.
He glanced at his brother, saw the frown that suggested Nathan didn’t believe him, and his stomach dropped even further. He turned back to Lily, following her until she stopped next to the pool, and tried not to think about the interaction he’d just had. It made him wonder what it was about Lily that inspired the protectiveness he’d seen in the two people he’d just spoken to—the protectiveness that he’d felt himself.
He cleared his throat. ‘Are we going for a swim? I didn’t bring my swimming trunks...although I have nothing against stripping down to my birthday suit.’
‘What?’ she gasped, and a smile spread across his face.
‘I’m kidding, Lily. Unless...?’ he teased, and enjoyed the way red tinted her olive skin.
The colour made him think of the other women he’d dated—he used that term loosely—who spent hours in the sun trying to get that tone. Something told him that Lily would never spend so much time on such a vain endeavour. Not when he was sure the messy auburn curls surrounding her face hadn’t been tampered with. When he was sure her beautiful face bore almost no make-up. Her hazel eyes weren’t highlighted by mascara or liner. The blush on her high cheekbones wasn’t artificial, nor was the pomegranate hue of her full lips.
As attracted as he was to the outside—he took a moment to enjoy the way her body filled out the dress she wore, just as he had when he’d been coming down the stairs—he found himself more intrigued by what the outside told him. How many women did he know who would come to an upper-class party without plastering their faces with make-up? How many would leave their hair in its natural state when every other woman had hers sleeked up in some complicated style?
Certainly none of the women he knew, he thought.
And her reactions to his teasing were so refreshing. Endearing. It made her feel more authentic. And it made her perfect for his plan.
It also made him realise how little innocence the women he’d spent his time with in the past had had. But then innocence wasn’t exactly something he’d been looking for in the past. No, he’d been looking to forget the way he’d screwed up his life. And then the public had turned on him—had destroyed him in the media—and he’d begun to wonder what the point of trying was. If they wanted a bad boy, that was what they would get. And they had—for an entire year. The worst time of his life...
‘I don’t know why I let you fluster me.’ Lily’s words tore him from his thoughts. ‘I know you’re teasing.’
‘And if I wasn’t?’
She sent a look at him that had him smiling.
‘Nice try, but it isn’t going to work again.’
‘It was worth a shot. How else would I be able to see the wonderful colour your cheeks turn when you’re flustered?’
She shook her head, and with her bottom lip between her teeth looked away.
Because he saw the very colour he’d been talking about again, he grinned. ‘This is fun.’
‘For you, maybe,’ Lily answered, but she didn’t seem upset. ‘What did Caitlyn say to you when she called you back?’
‘You saw that?’
She nodded, and it took him a few seconds to decide what to say to her.
‘She told me to be careful with you.’
Lily nodded again, her face pensive, and then her eyes shifted to something behind him. She moved closer and gave him a whiff of citrus and summer. It was a heady combination, he thought as his body tightened, and he assured himself that that was the only reason for his reaction.
‘Our plan seems to be working.’ Her curls shook as she lifted her head to look at him. ‘Kyle barely seems to be paying attention to his—’
Her eyes widened and she bit her lip again. The prickle in his body became an ache.
‘Date?’ he offered, to distract himself, but couldn’t help the hand that lifted to tuck a curl around her ear.
‘Sure—let’s go with that,’ she murmured, and fluttered those dark lashes up at him.
The ache was replaced by a punch to the gut.
‘Why do I need to be careful with you?’
It suddenly seemed imperative for him to know.
‘You don’t...’ she breathed, and electricity snapped between them.
‘Are you sure?’
‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘I’m tired of being treated like I’m going to break. My fiancé cheated on me. I was—’ She stopped, and there was a flash of vulnerability on her face before it was replaced with a fierce expression. ‘You don’t have to be careful with me. Treat me as you would any other woman.’
CHAPTER THREE (#u4251f1d2-486d-519b-9800-37c01c75f833)
JACQUES’S EYES FLICKERED down to her lips, and Lily realised how her request sounded. Under any other circumstance she would have been mortified at the implication of her words. Now, though, she wanted Jacques to take advantage of the ambiguity. She wanted to be taken advantage of...
‘I wouldn’t be pretending to be your boyfriend if you were any other woman.’
His voice broke into her thoughts and she blushed at the direction of them, wondering where they’d come from.
‘Why are you doing this for me, then?’
The heat she’d thought she’d seen earlier in his eyes cooled into an enigmatic expression.
‘Besides the fact that you basically forced me to on the stairs?’
She nodded, feeling her blush deepen.
‘At first because I couldn’t imagine anything better than making Kyle Van der Ross uncomfortable. Now it’s because I want to make him jealous.’
He looked at her, and she realised they were having this conversation in an awfully intimate position. She took a slight step back, to give herself some air—and to prevent herself from being distracted by his scent—but stopped when he placed a hand gently on the small of her back.
It sent her next question stammering from her mouth. ‘Wh...wh...why?’
He smiled at her—a soft smile that was in stark contrast to his intimidating masculine presence—and she wondered what she was missing. A man like Jacques wouldn’t be interested in her. And even if he was the last thing she wanted was to get involved with someone who could shatter the self-esteem she had fought so hard for.
The self-esteem she was still fighting for.
‘He cheated on you, Lily. And only the most despicable of men hurt the women they claim to love in that way.’ His face no longer held an easy expression. ‘Besides, I like helping you. And before you ask me why, it’s because I like you.’
‘You barely know me,’ she retorted. It was easier than acknowledging the truth of his words.
‘I know that you had the guts to leave someone who cheated on you. I know that you’re loyal enough to come to your best friend’s engagement party even though you knew your ex would be here. You’re innovative—I don’t think I know many other people who would come up with the idea of a stranger pretending to be their boyfriend—and you’re thoughtful enough to let your friends know about the charade so that they don’t get upset. What more is there?’
He grinned, but she couldn’t bring herself to respond. Hearing him describe her like that sent a gush of warmth through her body. But it didn’t seem right. Not when she was used to harsh words. Not when she was used to people telling her how she should look. How she should be. And from her parents—from Kyle, too, she’d realised too late—how much better she could be.
‘Fine—you know things about me,’ she said, when the silence had extended a tad too long. ‘How about you share something about yourself, then?’
‘Sure,’ he replied easily, and touched her waist to shift her to the left. ‘It’s easier for Kyle to see you like this.’
Her skin felt seared at his touch, and her thoughts went haywire for a second. And in that second she saw herself pressed against Jacques, kissing him until she no longer knew who she was.
She shook her head, thinking that she didn’t know who she was now. This woman having inappropriate thoughts about a man she barely knew was definitely not her. She’d never gone that far—even in her most lonesome of days.
When she’d been overweight it had been easier to avoid attention. And even when she’d lost some of her weight she had still been too afraid to put herself in a situation where men might hit on her.
It had been on the one night Caitlyn had convinced her to go out—in their final year at university—that she’d met Kyle. He’d been the first person to treat her like a woman, and not like ‘the girl who lost weight’. His attention had been flattering, overwhelming. She’d fallen hard, and had been swept into his world like a commoner into a castle.
His offhand comments about her looks—he hadn’t seemed to have a problem with her weight, but her hair, her face, her clothing were still fair game—hadn’t mattered when he could make her feel like the most beautiful woman on the planet with one look. His suggestions as to how she should act, what she should say, how she might do better had been irrelevant when he was treating her to fancy dinners, to expensive gifts.
‘What do you want to know?’
Jacques was watching her, and her face heated even at the thought of him knowing what she was thinking.
‘How’d you get the scar?’
He frowned, as though he wasn’t sure what she was talking about. And then his hand lifted and he rubbed his thumb over the scar. Lily was hit with the desire to do the same, and she clenched her hand, determined not to be caught in this attraction between them.
‘I was in a fight.’
‘Kyle?’
He smiled, though his eyes were hooded.
‘He didn’t land a punch that night. No, there have been other fights.’
His eyes glinted dangerously, and her knees nearly went weak.
What is wrong with you, Lily?
‘Next question. What do you do?’
‘I own a sporting goods company.’
‘What does that entail?’
‘Well, there’s a shop where the public can buy sporting equipment, but mostly we do bulk and international orders.’ He slanted a look at her. ‘You’ve never heard of Brookes Sporting?’
‘Hard to believe, isn’t it?’
He smirked. ‘Just a little.’
‘And that’s what you chose to do after your rugby career ended?’
There was a beat of silence before Jacques asked, ‘How did you know I played rugby?’
She only then realised she wasn’t supposed to know that.
‘You expected me to know your company, but not that you played a popular South African sport? Besides, I’m sure Nathan mentioned it a while ago...’ She trailed off when she saw he wasn’t buying it.
‘Really? The brother who didn’t think I was going to come to his engagement party told you I used to play rugby?’
‘Would you believe me if I told you I used to watch you play?’
‘No.’
She sighed. She was going to have to tell him the truth.
‘I overheard your conversation earlier, Jacques. I’m really sorry.’
* * *
That explained how she’d known he would follow her lead when they’d spoken to Kyle, Jacques thought. It also meant she had heard Jade and Riley’s suggestion, which put his plan to convince her to be involved at risk.
‘Is eavesdropping a hobby of yours?’ he asked slowly.
‘I didn’t mean to,’ Lily replied primly. ‘I was upstairs because I saw—’
‘Kyle and the cheater?’
She nodded. ‘And when I walked past the room you were in I heard the whole marriage thing...’
So she had heard it, he thought, but soothed the faint trickle of panic by telling himself that she didn’t suspect he wanted her involved. She wouldn’t have agreed to his suggestion to continue the charade of their pretend relationship at the party if she did. And then Jacques would have lost the opportunity to ensure that all the wealthy people who formed part of his brother’s social circle—including Lily’s ex-fiancé—saw him and his ‘new girlfriend’.
The rest of his plan had originally involved them leaving together at the end of the night. It would have just been for coffee—though the party attendees wouldn’t have known that—and he would have suggested their pretend relationship continue for just a while longer. But this new information meant he needed to speed up that plan...
‘Why don’t we get out of here?’
Her eyebrows rose and her cheeks took on that shade of red he liked so much.
‘Together?’
‘Yeah. We can grab a cup of coffee.’
‘Why?’
‘I like you, Lily.’ Though he’d meant the words to convince her to have coffee with him, he found that he genuinely meant them. Something tightened in his stomach at the knowledge. ‘I also think there’s nothing more you’d like to do than to get out of here.’
Her face had changed when he’d said he liked her, and though he couldn’t quite read it he thought there was a trace of uncertainty there. As if she didn’t believe what he said. The tightening in his stomach pulsed, and for the first time he considered how manipulative his plan was. Sure, it wouldn’t hurt Lily—but it wouldn’t benefit her either. It was entirely for his benefit.
But you helped her, too, a voice in his head reminded him. That made him feel better, and because he couldn’t afford to dwell on why he should reconsider he chose to focus on that.
‘You’re right.’ Lily’s expression was unreadable. ‘And buying you a coffee is probably the least I can do to say thank you.’
She was setting boundaries, he realised. Letting him know that she was only accepting his offer because she wanted to say thanks. He wasn’t sure why that bothered him, but he didn’t have time to ponder it.
‘Are you sure you want to leave, though?’ she asked. She looked inside to where Nathan and Caitlyn were standing.
‘I don’t think Nathan expects me to stay longer than I already have,’ he said, ignoring the guilt.
‘Do you want to say goodbye?’ she asked softly, and he looked down to see a compassion he didn’t understand—and didn’t want—in her eyes.
‘I don’t want to interrupt them.’
She watched him for a moment longer, and then nodded.
He reached for her hand, thinking about how easily he could feign affection with Lily and yet struggle with women he was much more familiar with. His skin heated when her fingers closed around his, warning him that his plan might have complications he hadn’t considered.
But as he made his way through the crowd of people with Lily he knew that those complications would be worth it when the Shadows Rugby Club was his and he could help place them in the international league. If he could do that it would make up for the fact that he’d cost them their place in that league seven years ago.
When he felt like being kind to himself he told himself his actions that night of the championship game that should have determined that place had come from anger. From pain. That night had been the last time he’d seen either of his parents, too. Not a coincidence, considering that they’d been the reason he’d got into a fight with a player who hadn’t deserved Jacques’s attention. Who wouldn’t have got it if he hadn’t uttered those same words his father had before Jacques had arrived at the game...
‘You’re such a disappointment.’
The memory of that night still plagued him—still scarred him—but if he could pull off his PR company’s ridiculous plan maybe he would finally find some peace. Maybe he would finally be able to put it all behind him and move on.
‘Do you have somewhere specific you’d like to go?’ Lily asked once they were outside.
He watched her pull her coat tighter around her, saw her look out around the private estate his brother’s house was on, and realised she was nervous.
‘I’m not going to kidnap you, Lily.’
She looked at him. ‘I know. And I’m going in my own car.’
Smart girl, he thought, even though disappointment lapped at him for reasons he didn’t understand.
‘My office is pretty private.’ He saw something in her eyes, and said, ‘You’ll be safe, Lily. I promise to behave myself.’
My future depends on it.
She tilted her head, as though she was considering his words. ‘So let’s have coffee somewhere more neutral, then. I know a place...’
CHAPTER FOUR (#u4251f1d2-486d-519b-9800-37c01c75f833)
‘THIS IS NEUTRAL for you?’
Jacques joined Lily in front of her store, and looked pointedly at the sign that said ‘Lily’s’ above the glass entrance.
‘Relax,’ she replied, though the way her heart was beating told her she was probably saying it to herself.
‘We’re just stopping here for the coffee—then we can take a walk down the beach. It’s not too busy this time of night.’
‘I usually let a woman take me out for dinner before I do romantic walks on the beach, Lily.’
Her hand froze on the door at his words, and it took her a moment to hear the store’s alarm beeping. She hurriedly entered the code, trying desperately to come up with something to say. But her mind only formulated excuses—not the sassy comeback she’d hoped for.
You should have known it wouldn’t last, a voice mocked her.
And though she wanted to deny the words she couldn’t. She’d thought it was a good idea to bring him back to her store and then to walk on the beach. She’d feel better in a familiar place, she’d told herself.
But being in that familiar place had snatched her from the fantasy world she’d been in for the past few hours. The world where she’d flirted as though she were in a thinner body. As though she had all the confidence in the world. As though she wasn’t trying with all her might to value herself.
‘This is nice,’ he said, breaking the silence. ‘It’s a coffee shop and a bookstore?’
‘Yeah. I love reading and I love coffee, and a lot of the people I know do, too. So I thought it would be pretty great to have a place where you could relax and do both. And, of course, there’s the view.’
She was rambling, she knew. A combination of nerves at Jacques being there and the defensiveness she always felt when she spoke about her store.
Her parents’ warnings echoed in her head—as did their urges for her to do something more respectable than being a store-owner—and she shook it off. She had more pressing things to worry about at the moment.
‘Do you have any preferences for coffee?’
‘Black, no sugar.’
She busied herself with the task, and for a few moments there was silence.
‘You have good taste.’
The milk she was pouring spilled onto the counter. ‘Wh...what?’
‘I assume you decorated the store yourself?’
She nodded mutely, refusing to look at him in case he wore that amused expression again.
‘It’s the perfect décor for a shop like this.’
She’d gone with a blue and white colour scheme, to complement the view of the sea that stretched endlessly through the glass entrance. White bookshelves held as many books as she could fit in them—old and new—and lined the walls on either side of the shop. The wooden tables and blue-cushioned chairs were homely, comfortable—exactly what she’d been going for when she’d decorated, though she knew she’d spent hopelessly too much on them.
But she only worried about that when she did her accounts and saw how many negative numbers they had.
‘Thanks,’ she said, making quick work of the clean-up before handing him his coffee in a takeaway cup. She cleared her throat. ‘We don’t have to...to do the walk. I just thought it made sense...’
‘I was teasing, Lily.’
The smile on his lips made her stomach flip. And then there were even more gymnastics when he lifted her chin.
‘You know—that thing I do so I can see you blush?’
She took a step back. ‘You mean the thing I shouldn’t let fluster me?’
‘Exactly.’
She couldn’t help a smile at his quick answer. ‘How about we take this to the beach?’
She left her coat and her shoes in the store, and a few moments later they were walking on the sand together.
‘It’s beautiful, isn’t it?’ he said, looking out to the water.
Waves crashed against the sand at his words, and the reflection of the full moon on the water shimmered, as though thanking Jacques for the compliment.
‘Yeah, it is. I remember going on holiday to Johannesburg when I was younger. I refused to go again when I realised there was no beach.’ She shrugged. ‘Something about a beach just—’
‘Calms you?’
‘Yeah.’ She glanced over. ‘Did the same thing ever happen to you?’
There was a bark of laughter. ‘That would have involved my parents actually taking us on holiday, so no.’
The words surprised her, and if his silence was any indication they had surprised him, too. She wanted to press him—for reasons she didn’t want to think about—but before she could Jacques jogged a few paces ahead of her. Lily watched as he threw his empty coffee cup into a nearby bin, and in a few quick movements climbed onto a large boulder.
He grinned down at her when she reached him. ‘Join me.’
‘Up there? In this dress?’ She shook her head. ‘I’ll pass.’
‘How about that one?’ Jacques nodded at the boulder next to the one he was on. It was smaller, but she still didn’t see herself up there.
‘I don’t think you understand, Jacques—’
She broke off when he jumped down next to her, threw her coffee cup into the same bin—despite the fact that hers had only been half-empty—and took her free hand.
‘Come on—it’ll be a good place to talk.’
Helpless to do otherwise, she let him lead her to the next boulder, but stopped when they reached it.
‘I don’t see how this is going to work.’
‘Like this.’
She felt his hands on her waist, and realised his intentions too late—he was already lifting her.
‘Oh, no, Jacques,’ she gasped. ‘I’m too heavy—’
But she didn’t get a chance to finish her sentence since her feet were already on the smooth, cold granite of the boulder.
A few moments later, Jacques joined her. ‘Did you just say that you were too heavy?’
He barely sounded winded, and it took Lily a while to find her words. She was too busy wondering whether she’d overestimated her weight or underestimated his strength. Since she didn’t live in a world where the former was ever a reality, she settled on the second.
‘I guess not,’ she finally answered him.
‘You think you’re heavy?’
‘I...well... Kyle wasn’t as strong as you are,’ she finished lamely.
He gave her a strange look, but didn’t say anything. Instead he offered a hand, gesturing that they should sit. She ignored the spark that zipped through her at the contact, and snatched her hand back as soon as she was sitting.
‘Thanks for agreeing to have coffee with me,’ he said when he settled down beside her.
‘It was the least I could do after you helped me with Kyle. Even if you did throw most of mine in the bin.’
‘Sorry...’
Jacques smiled apologetically, but something on his face told her there was more.
He confirmed it when he said, ‘I actually wanted to talk to you in private because...’
He took a breath, and she felt a frisson of nerves deep inside.
‘I was hoping you would do a little more than just have coffee with me.’
‘What do you want?’ she asked stiffly, hearing a voice mocking her in her head.
Did you really think he was being nice to you because he liked you?
‘Nothing we haven’t already managed to pull off.’ He paused. ‘I’d like you to pretend to be my girlfriend.’
CHAPTER FIVE (#u4251f1d2-486d-519b-9800-37c01c75f833)
IT SOUNDED SILLY even as he said it—more so when he saw the look on her face—but he ignored the feeling. This was the point of continuing the charade for so long. This was the point of asking her out for coffee.
It shouldn’t matter that the easiness they’d shared this past half an hour—the ease responsible for that slip about his parents—had dissipated.
‘Are you sure you just want me to pretend to be a girlfriend?’ she asked quietly.
‘Yes. We’ve done a pretty good job at convincing Kyle. A few more people wouldn’t hurt.’
‘“A few more” isn’t quite the number, though, is it?’
Wondering how she knew, he answered, ‘Fine, it’s a lot more than a few. But you won’t actually be on television. I just need the people at the studio to know you exist, so when I mention you on air it’ll be believable.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘Latte Mornings. I have an interview on the show tomorrow morning.’ He frowned, realising now that they weren’t on the same page. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘I heard your conversation, remember?’
She looked straight at him, and if her words hadn’t surprised him he might have acknowledged the way his stomach tightened in response.
‘You need a wife, right? Someone who will make you more...palatable to the public for some business deal you’re working on?’
‘Hold on.’ He took a deep breath. ‘You don’t get to make assumptions about things you overheard—out of context, I might add—in a private conversation.’
Her cheeks flushed, and the spirit that had had her looking him in the eye earlier faded as she averted her gaze. ‘I’m sorry that I eavesdropped, Jacques, but I... I can’t be your wife.’
‘I’m not asking you to marry me, Lily.’
‘Then what do you want from me?’
‘I just want you to pretend to be my girlfriend. You may have overheard that I’m not entirely willing to marry someone to get the public to like me.’ Not if I don’t have to. ‘But you gave me the idea tonight that I could pretend to have a nice, respectable girlfriend and that might have the same effect.’
‘And that’s the real reason you wanted coffee?
‘Yeah. It isn’t that much to ask, considering that I did the same for you tonight.’
He shouldn’t feel bad about this. He shouldn’t have to defend himself.
So why was he?
‘And maybe if you’d asked me straight I would have agreed. But instead you just told me to continue the charade for a bit longer—which now, of course, I realise is because you wanted to test whether it would actually have an effect, and not because you wanted to annoy Kyle—and then “coffee”.’ She lifted her hands in air quotes. ‘You manipulated me.’
‘And what you did wasn’t manipulation?’ he snapped back at her, guilt spurring his words. The picture she had painted reminded him too much of his father.
‘I didn’t manipulate you,’ she answered primly. ‘I told you why I did what I did. I was honest with you as soon as I had the chance to be.’
He shrugged, pretended her words didn’t affect him. ‘And I’m a businessman. I know how to capitalise on opportunities.’
‘This isn’t an opportunity,’ she said coldly. ‘I’m not an opportunity.’
‘Of course not.’ He said the words before he could think about how they might undermine the cool exterior he was aiming for.
‘Then stop treating me like one.’
She was right, he thought, and then remembered that she’d said if he’d been straight with her maybe she would have agreed.
‘You’re right—and I’m sorry for the way I went about this.’
She gave him a look that told him she didn’t entirely trust his words. That look combined with the wounded expression just behind the guard she was trying so desperately to keep up, made him feel a stab of guilt.
He had manipulated her. And he should know, since he’d witnessed his father manipulating his mother for his entire childhood. Somehow the man had made his wife believe that telling their children they were disappointments, failures, was normal. That raising them without the love and support parents were supposed to give was acceptable. And his mother, so desperately in love with a man who had only wanted her for her money, hadn’t believed she’d deserved more.
That her children had deserved better.
When Jacques had finally managed to convince his mother to kick his father out it had only taken his father a few minutes to change her mind. And now Jacques regretted it. The trying. The hope. The fact that he’d done it on the night of the championship.
It had been the reason he’d been so easily provoked into the fight that had got him suspended for three years. That had lost his team their chance to be a part of the international league they had fought so hard to play for.
It was why buying the Shadows now was so important. And why he needed to make amends with Lily.
‘Would you give me another chance to ask you to be my girlfriend? My pretend one, of course.’ He wasn’t sure why he clarified it, but it made him feel better.
‘If you tell me why you need a pretend girlfriend, yes.’
He nodded, and forced himself to say the words.
‘Seven years ago I was suspended from playing rugby.’ It took more strength than he’d thought it would to say the words. ‘I got into a fight that cost my team a championship game and the chance of playing in the highest league they could play in.’
She interlaced her fingers and rested her hands in her lap. ‘What was the fight about?’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ he answered, because it was true.
‘The scar?’ she asked, tapping at her lip.
He wondered what intrigued her so much about it, but only nodded. There was a beat of silence before she spoke again.
‘It must have been important if it cost you something that clearly meant so much to you.’
Maybe it had been important to him once—the chance of a family without his father. Now Jacques thought he’d been fighting over something that hadn’t been worth nearly as much as it had cost him.
‘It doesn’t matter,” he said again. ‘It’s only the effect the entire thing had on my reputation that does.’ He paused. ‘I heard recently from a few business associates that my old rugby club is going to be sold soon, and I want to be the one to buy it. Except I’ve been told that some of the club’s biggest sponsors will pull out if it’s sold to me. The only way to prevent that, it seems, is to build a more...positive reputation.’
She stared at him. ‘You’re seriously telling me that people care that much about your reputation?’
‘Apparently.’
‘And the only thing you did to get this negative reputation was have a fight?’
‘One that lost my team the championship and an opportunity.’
‘Yes, of course—but that’s it?’
He hesitated. ‘Well...’
Jacques really wasn’t interested in rehashing the details of the year when he’d spiralled into the depression that had damaged his reputation even more.
‘Well...?’ Lily repeated, a single brow arching in a way that made him forget the tension of the conversation they were having.
‘The year after I was suspended I spent a lot of time... Well, I spent some time on a self-destructive path,’ he said once he had steadied himself.
‘What does that mean?’
‘I...’ He’d hoped his explanation would be enough. ‘I told myself that I didn’t care what people thought about me, and I did exactly what I wanted to.’
And yet, ironically, it had been caring about what people thought that had made him act that way in the first place.
When she didn’t speak after a few moments, he found himself asking, ‘Why aren’t you saying anything?’
‘What did that entail?’ she said in lieu of a reply.
He tried to formulate an answer, but nothing he could say would make him look good.
‘I can’t help you if I don’t know the truth, Jacques.’
‘Parties. A lot of swearing at journalists. Women.’ He ran a hand through his hair, wondering how telling her all this intimidated him more than tackling the largest of men on a rugby field. ‘What more do you want me to say?’
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