Читать онлайн книгу «Prince Charming′s Child» автора Jennifer Greene
Prince Charming's Child
Jennifer Greene
MEN of the YEAR MAN of the MONTH"I am a man of honor. If she's carrying my child, she will be my wife! - Mitch Landers, the Prince Charming no woman could forget It wasn't the flu. Nicole was pregnant. And darned if she could remember sleeping with a man in the past four years. Not unless she and co-worker Mitch had actually ?Well, they had, and now her very own Sir Galahad was before her on bended knee. His proposal was duty-bound, although real passion sparked in Mitch's glance and touch. Could a marriage forged for baby's sake end in a legend-worthy love for Sleeping Beauty and her dream prince?Some men are made for lovin' - and you'll love our MAN OF THE MONTH!
Like Sleeping Beauty, hed wakened her from a sound sleep the night their child was conceived. (#u02758f6c-3385-529c-8b3f-2d15051ee769)Letter to Reader (#ub4ea2610-fb06-579b-afc4-4e346603e362)Title Page (#u66660f2e-5c79-504a-b173-c8c7b1bf00ec)About the Author (#uc9f299d7-73c8-5108-99e5-d0360005720a)Dedication (#uf15465ad-ba36-5f55-83ed-dab60d2b485d)Chapter One (#u288b46e9-62a1-5b97-872c-d19e920bc051)Chapter Two (#u954edc6c-9f02-597c-902f-9f6e01854357)Chapter Three (#u02f727db-c2d6-53cc-90e8-4a8ff9485582)Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Like Sleeping Beauty, hed wakened her from a sound sleep the night their child was conceived.
Only, instead of a happily-ever-after, hed aroused her awareness of all the things in her life that were missing.
Nicole was terribly afraid that shed fallen in love with him. He wasnt the man shed worked with all these months. He was someone else. He was a mysterious, compelling lover who invoked incredibly strange and powerful feelings when he kissed her. He made her feel safe and frightened at the same time. Somehow hed gotten her talking as if they were going to be parenting the baby together. Somehow it didnt seem that hard to imagine herself married to Mitch, waking up to him every morning, sharing their babys life, sharing their own life when the lights went off every night.
Thats how the damn man made her feel. Like those things were possible....
HAPPILY EVER AFTER:
Your favorite fairy tales freshly told, with
all the passion youve ever craved.
Dear Reader.
The joys of summer are upon usalong with some July fireworks from Silhouette Desire!
The always wonderful Jennifer Greene presents our July MAN OF THE MONTH in Prince Charmings Child. A contemporary romance version of Sleeping Beauty this title also launches the authors new miniseries, HAPPILY EVER AFTER, inspired by those magical fairy tales we loved in childhood. And ever-talented Anne Marie Winston is back with a highly emotional reunion romance in Lovers Reunion. The popular miniseries TEXAS BRIDES by Peggy Moreland continues with the provocative story of That McCloud Woman. Sheiks abound in Judith McWilliamss The Sheiks Secret, while a plain Jane is wooed by a millionaire in Jan Hudsons Plain Janes Texan. And Barbara McCauleys new dramatic miniseries, SECRETS!, debuts this month with Blackhawks Sweet Revenge.
Weve got more excitement for you next monthwatch for the premiere of the compelling new Desire miniseries THE TEXAS CATTLEMANS CLUB. Some of the sexiest, most powerful men in the Lone Star State are members of this prestigious club, and they all find love when they least expect it! Youll learn more about THE TEXAS CATTLEMANS CLUB in our August Dear Reader letter, along with an update on Silhouettes new continuity, THE FORTUNES OF TEXAS, debuting next month.
And this month, join in the celebrations by treating yourself to all six passionate Silhouette Desire titles.
Enjoy!
Joan Marlow Golan
Senior Editor, Silhouette Desire
Please address questions and book requests to:
Silhouette Reader Service
U.S : 3010 Walden Ave., P.O. Box 1325, Buffalo, NY 14269
Canadian: P.O. Box 609, Fort Erie, Ont. L2A 5X3
Jennifer Greene
Prince Charmings Child
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
JENNIFER GREENE
sold her first book in 1980, and has written more than fifty category romances. She has worked as a teacher, counselor and personnel manager, and has a degree from Michigan State in English and psychology. She lives near Lake Michigan with her husband, two children and their two-hundred-pound Newfound-land Moose.
Known for her warm, sensitive characters, Jennifer has won numerous awards, including the RWA Silver Medallion in 1984 and Lifetime and Career Achievement Awards from Romantic Tunes Magazine. In 1998 she entered the RWA Hall of Fame after winning her third RITA.
To my readers,
As a girl, I inhaled every fairy tale I could get my hands on, but I became exasperated with them when I grew up. The romantic nature of the stories is wonderful, but the woman was always sitting back, counting on the guy to rescue her, rarely lifting a finger to help herselfnothing I can imagine todays woman would tolerate.
This story is the start of the HAPPILY EVER AFTER trilogy for Silhouette Desire...but each romance has a todays woman twist on the old fairy-tale fantasies. Sleeping Beauty was always one of my favorites, but in this tale, when my hero wakes up Sleeping Beauty, is he ever sorry. My prince opens a Pandoras box of trouble, for her and him both. If he thought he was going to win a happily-ever-after that easily, my heroines about to teach him otherwise.
I hope you enjoy Prince Charmings Child, and the next two to come!
One
Since Nicole hadnt been near a mans bed in four years, she chuckled when she heard the results of the pregnancy test.
Im sure someonell be happy to hear that, but it cant be me. Trust meyoure either looking at another patients file or the test results are wrong.
Conceivably the nurse practitioner had heard words of denial from her patients before, because her prompt answer sounded prepared. Theres always a margin for error with the tests, but thats why we back them up with a physical. Youre about two and a half months along, Ms. Stewart, and I can see that you obviously werent expecting this pregnancy. If you need to talk to someone about your options
Nicoles smile disappeared faster than smoke when she realized the nurse was serious. Im thirty-two, not some irresponsible sixteen-year-old. I know what my options areand my responsibilities. You dont understand. This isnt a matter of being surprised by an unexpected pregnancy. Its that I cant be pregnant at all. I havent been with anyone.
Well, miracles do happen, but Ive never heard of one on this subject The last I knew, it always takes two to tango.
Nicole understood the womans wry teasing was an effort to help her relax, but this was no humorous matter. Not to her. I realize you think Im joking, but I swear Im not. I havent tangoed with anyone! The tests simply have to be wrong. I only came in because I thought I had the flu, for Petes sake.
The nurse practitioner patiently spent another fifteen minutes with her. It didnt help. Nicole left the womens clinic feeling shell-shocked, carrying prescriptions for vitamins and morning sickness, her mind buzzing with information on the symptoms she could expect for the next six and a half months.
Pregnant. The word kept reeling through her mind as she pushed open the door. Outside, a blustery damp wind tore straight through her ivory silk blouse and clawed at her auburn hair. She should have known better than to leave her suit jacket at the office. Two hours before, the day had been balmy warm, but weather on the Oregon coast was typically capriciousif not downright meanin early March.
Hurrying to her white Taurus, she climbed inside, but her fingers were so shaky she could hardly fit in the ignition key, much less punch the buttons for the heater. This was just so crazy! If she were almost three months pregnant right now, that meant the baby had to be conceived around the Christmas holidays.
And that was impossible. Not a little impossible. 100% impossible.
She swung onto the coastal highway and leveled her foot on the accelerator. Work By Design, her business, was only a ten-minute drive from the womens clinic, ample time for the last few years to flash in front of her eyes.
Long ago shed discovered a talent for design, but there was a crowded abundance of competition in the interior decorating field. The psychology of work environments was new then. Employers were just catching on that an ergonomic, efficient office space could provably increase worker productivity and job satisfaction. Shed seen the niche. More relevant for her personally, shed needed to do something that made a positive difference in others lives. She did the artsy stuff from the start, but it took finding the right engineer and architect to really make Work By Design come together. After four yearsand her specifically devoting sixteen-hour daysthe business was not only cooking, but bubbling over with potential growth now.
Through these years, though, there had never been a spare second to think of babies or a private life. If the right man had popped into her life, who knew, maybe shed have rethought having a baby. But that was precisely the point. Thered been no right men, no wrong men, no any men.
Nicole had never exactly planned to turn into a celibate saint, but there were darn good reasons why shed chosen the life-style of a workaholic hermit.
Her stomach suddenly clenched with nerves. Old nerves. Old, scary, ghost-nerves that hadnt peeked out of her emotional closet in years. Shed grown up taking every wrong road there was to take. Shed known trouble from the inside out. Cripes, shed been trouble from the inside out. But a cop named Sam had helped her around seventeen years ago. Shed started a new life in a new place and done her best not to look back.
She was ashamed of where shed beenbut, finally, proud of the woman she was becoming. Thered been no irresponsible, impulsive mistakes. None. Not even little ones. Shed turned herself into a completely different kind of woman than the hellion teenager shed been growing up as.
Or so shed believed. Until the pregnancy test this afternoon had turned out positive.
Minutes later, she parked in front of the stone-and-glass office building and barreled inside, away from the devil wind, hiking past John. Mitch. Wilma. Rafe.
Her office was at the far end, a sanctuary with blue silk walls and thick, silencing carpet and windows that overlooked a cliff edge view of the Pacific. Waves thundered and pounded the rocks below, looking wild and lonely. Exactly how she felt. With her pulse racing faster than a frantic battery, she plunked down in the chair behind her gleaming pecan desk and squeezed her eyes closed.
The faces of her staff again chased through her mind. John, Mitch, Wilma, Rafe. And yes, of course she remembered holding an office party two days before Christmas last year. It was the only social event shed been remotely part of in a blue moon.
And long before today, shed realized that parts of that evening were hazy in her memorybut that never seemed remotely strange, simply because shed been so dead tired that night. Shed hosted the party at her house for a number of reasons. She wanted the staff to indulge in all the champagne they wanted, and at home, she had spare rooms for anyone to sleep over so no one had to worry about drinking and driving. Thered been so much to organize and plan. Shed had lobsters brought in, oysters on the half shell, chocolate-covered strawberriesevery luxury she could think of, because her team had an unbeatably successful year and deserved being spoiled.
Nicole suddenly rubbed two fingers on her temples. The staff had had a blast, which was exactly what shed wanted to happenshe recalled moments from the party with crystal clarity. But until now, shed forgotten how theyd teased her about not drinking. They were always ribbing her about being too formal, never letting down her hair and loosening up.
It was never a good idea to let down her hair. Ever. She had too much past history she wanted buried good and deep. The staff respected her, and shed done her absolutely damnedest to earn that respect. Besides that, she couldnt handle liquorwhich heaven knew shed learned the hard way years before.
But Nicole suddenly remembered a glass of champagne being thrust in her hands that night. At least one glass. Possibly two.
Holy cripes, could she have had three?
Because suddenly she realized that was precisely the part of the evening when her memory turned as murky as an ocean cave. That hadnt mattered before. But unless shed become pregnant via immaculate conceptionwhich unfortunately was a stretch, even for a woman who made a living on her creative imaginationsuddenly the part of the evening she didnt remember mattered a whole bunch.
Restlessly she swung out of the desk and paced to the open door. Each employee had an individual office, but the central area was organized with tables and drafting boards and a video setup. Developing models and layups took space, and often the staff worked together on projects.
John was sprawled with his feet on a table, working with a sketch pad on his lap. From the doorway, she could see the smooth dome of his head, his Mickey Mouse tie, the concentration furrow in the middle of his brow. John handled the advertising and marketing. He was forty-two and growing a little couch-potato pooch and wonderful at his job. When his wife left him the year before, Nicole had been afraid hed never climb back from a pit-awful depression. She thought the absolute world of John, and if he really needed something, she knew shed go the long mile to come through for himbut John was like a brother, as comfortable to be with as an old shoe. Even if shed guzzled an entire winery worth of champagne, she simply could not imagine getting naked with him.
Rafe ambled by, carrying a fresh mug of coffee, and plunked down in front of a drafting board. Rafe was thirty-four, single like John, and originally Nicole almost hadnt hired him. He had the exact engineering background she was looking for, but between the dark hair, dark eyes, and husky muscular build, he was a cut-and-dried hunk. Shed worried those good looks could be asking for troublebut shed been wrong. Rafe could get impatient and tempermental with the rest of the staff, but he was smart and ambitious and unbeatably capable at his job.
Nicoles gaze lasered on his back for a second longer. Yeah, he was an eyeful. And anyones deprived hormones could be stirred up with alcohol. But unlike the rest of the team, Rafe never talked about his private lifehed openly admitted losing a job before because of mixing business and pleasure, and he felt adamant about never making that mistake again. Hed never told her an off-color joke, never looked at her sideways. Even if he were attracted, she couldnt imagine him initiating a pass. It was just impossible. It could never have happened.
Wilma streaked past, shuffling a sheath of papers, pausing only long enough to bounce a kiss on Johns balding crown. Wilma was twenty-eight, a brown-eyed brunette with a centerfold figure and the nature of an incurable flirt. She was openly affectionate with all the guys. Discussing the antics of her exuberant love life was a ritual over morning coffee. The boys inhaled every wild detail. Nicole had never tried to rein her in. Wilma managed the office and bookkeeping side of things and kept the whole place pumping.
And that left Mitch...the only staff member who Nicole couldnt see from the doorway, but she could hear him yell something to Rate with that distinctly whiskey baritone. Mitch was thirty-two, her own age. The guys called him Stretch because he was a lanky six feet three inches, with hair the color of sun-bleached sand and eyes bluer than sky. Sexy enough, if a womans taste ran to overtall bean-poleswhich Nicoles never personally had.
Mitch was the newest team member, shed only hired him six months ago. Originally Janice had been the groups architect, and shed done so well that her leaving for a job in New York had left a precarious hole. Nicole expected the employee search to be worrisome, and instead had a plum drop in her lap. Mitchs background surpassed even what Janice had offered them.
Ironically, hed rubbed Nicole personally wrong from the beginning, and she admitted it. Heck, so did hethey even joked about it together sometimes. The dam man had a gift for getting along with everyone. He was in his element with the mens men contractor types, yet he never lost patience with the creative design types on the team. From the start, hed leaped into touchy situations that had everyone else running for cover. The whole team loved him. Objectively, so did shethere was simply no explaining why they scraped against each others nerves. Nicole had quit fretting the why of it. She just gave Mitch an extra wide berth and let him do his job. Everyone was critical in a small business this size, but Mitch was damn near irreplaceable.
Even if he werent irreplaceableeven if there wasnt that strange prickly edginess between themthere was another reason why Nicole would never touch a hair on his head. More than once, hed mentioned a woman friend. A solid woman friend. Nicole had forgotten her nameSusan, maybe? Regardless, he was already involved. Nicole couldnt imagine any circumstance in the universe where shed poach on another womans territorywhich meant there was zero possibility of her sleeping with Mitch.
Abruptly she pressed a protective hand on her abdomen. Her stomach was increasingly queasy, her heart starting to gallop with anxiety. She simply had to try and calm down. Its not like all this thinking was getting her anywhere.
Every mental road led her to the same place. The only men in her life were the guys in the office. There was no occasion anything could have happened except the night of that Christmas party. But party or no party, champagne or no champagne, she simply would never have let anything happen with any of her guys. It went against her whole moral and character grain. And a woman didnt forget making love with a man, for heavens sake. And surely the man would have said something if anything like that had occurred. And shed wakened the morning after the party in her own bed, alone.
Nicole kept trying to add two and two, but the sum just refused to be four.
She couldnt be pregnant.
Yet she was.
Nicole? You have a free minute?
Mitch Landers had been waiting all afternoon for a chance to catch the boss in and alone. The envelope in his hand contained a letter of resignation. He had no illusions this was going to be an easy conversation, but hed postponed it for days. He needed a moment when the rest of the team were solidly occupied and the phone wasnt ringing and there was a chance of him catching some uninterrupted time with her. A quarter to five seemed his best shot. And Mitch had quit kidding himself that this didnt have to be done.
That was the plan. But she was standing at the window when he knocked, and the instant she heard his voice, she promptly spun around. And he saw her face. Sure, come on in. Whats the problem? The Llewellyn account?
No, nothing like that. I just need to talk to you about something, but...look, are you feeling okay?
She produced an instant smile, but it was as fake as a politicans promises. To tell you the truth, Ive had better afternoons, but Im fine, really, just a little distracted. Sit down, tell me what the problem is.
One look at her face, and Mitch knew his plan was going to hell in a handbasket. But he sat in one of her prissy blue office chairs and stretched out his long, lanky legs. Everything about her office always made him feel like an ox in a boudoir. Restlessly he batted the envelope on his knee, then just as restlessly pocketed it out of sight.
He couldnt tell whether his boss was sick, scared or somebody just killed her dog. But something was wrong. And for Nicole Stewart to look fragile as a cotton puff was so out of character that something had to be bad wrong.
It only took a second to catalog her features head to toebut at least this once, he had a judiciously altruistic motive. His pulse could rev from zero to sixty with a single glance at her, and had from the day they met. On the surface, nothing looked particularly different. Her silky cream blouse and mannish green suit were pretty typical office attire. Not much figure. On a scale of one to ten, the legs got a ten-plus, but the rest of the package maxed out at three. No boobs. No hips. She was built long on angles and short on curves...but the way she moved those angles had inspired his hormones to great feats of imagination from the beginningand would now, if the look on her face wasnt worrying him.
Her face had always been the killer. It started with a frame of vibrant auburn hair, chopped off at chin length with spiky bangs. Hed never seen it longer. About every four weeks, she zealously hit a stylist to ruthlessly tame the mop into a nice, sedate, businesswomans haircut. Waste of money, Mitch thought personally. Maybe you could beat the wicked out of a sinner, but nobody was gonna tame that thick, curly hair. It bounced around an oval face with all kinds of interesting lines. Sharp little nose. Chin with character. A slash of delicate cheekbones. A too-wide mouth that showed off gorgeous white teeth when she laughed, and could prim up into a straight line when she was seriouswhich was way too much of the time, as far as Mitch was concerned. But either way, the shape of those soft lips was always going to make a man wonder how she kissed.
Normally when he looked at her face, the way she moved, he saw sass. Spirit. Dont-mess-with-me-buster character. Maybe she was a five-foot-five-inch welterweight, but hed bet on her over a bruiser in a dark alley any day. She was a dirty infighter, something hed always admired in a woman. Her loyalty to the staff was legend. She always stepped in front of staff if there was an aggravating client or a touchy problem, always taking the heat, charging in whenever she smelled trouble. Sometimes too much so. When Nik was on a full-speed charge, she had a tough time backing down. Shed probably take on Goliathand God knew, losebut Mitch didnt doubt Goliath would suffer mightily first. Not from a punch. The blue silk walls in her office were a measure of her pure-female methods. She fought strictly girl fashion, almost never swore, rarely raised her voicebut if a guy crossed her, she went straight for the balls.
As far as Mitch had ever seen, she feared nothing. Which had always concerned and fascinated him bothhe didnt know her background, because she didnt talk. Not to staff. Not about personal things. But she had to learn to fight that way somewhere. She had guts, will, strength.
But dammit, not today. She was shook up about something. The only real splash of color in that face were her eyes. They were blue-gray, almond shape, too big for that small face. Normal women tattletaled every emotion they were feeling in their eyes. Not her. Her expression just went flat when she was blocking something, and she was good at blocking any damn thing she wanted to. That those eyes revealed panic and vulnerability at the moment made Mitch inclined to call 911 and not waste time hearing the explanation.
You said you wanted to talk about something, she prompted him again.
Yeah, but itll wait. Look, youre real pale. You sure youre okay? Did something happen this afternoon?
Yes. No. I...oh, God. She sank in the office chair behind her desk, and produced another light smile as if to reassure himbut that smile was as weak as watered-down scotch. Im fine. Its not your problem, Mitch. This just probably isnt a real good time to talk business, if its something thatll wait until morning.
He heard voices chattering from the outer office, drawers slamming, Wilmas throaty laughter. The staff was leaving for the day. So could he. She was obviously asking to be left alone. Only she really looked like a puff of wind could keel her overand if he left, thered be nobody in the office to even know she was in trouble.
I take it whatever happened was personal, not business.
Yes. Which is exactly what I meantits not your worry.
And you were gone for a couple hours this afternoon. Wheels start clicking in his head. You had a doc or dentist appointment? Heard some upsetting health news? Or something in a different direction, like your place was vandalized, or something happened to someone in your family?
Good grief. I didnt meant to give you the impression there was anything so dire. I was gone for a doctors appointment, thats all. Im fine, Im telling youor will be by tomorrow. Its just right at this minute, I admit Im not at my best
He received the m.y.o.b. message loud and clear. But her hands were shaky, her voice warbly and that priceless skin was too damn ghostly white. His boss wasnt always cool in a crisis, but hed never seen her near shambles. So whatd the doc say to upset you?
Mitch. This just isnt an appropriate conversation. There is absolutely nothing that should worry you or any of the team. Or the business.
Screw the business. We talking tumor, heart, cancer?
Holy spit. Nothing like that. As if his rapid-fire questions had finally nagged her over the edge, she blurted out, Im pregnant.
Pregnant.
He couldnt be the first man whod been stunned silent by that particular word, but these circumstances were a tad unusual. His heart quit beating altogether, then seemed to change its mind and start slamming nonstop at a racehorse pace. He wasnt positive he could budge from that blue silk chair if thered been a fire.
Damnation, Landers. I never meant to tell you that. Nicole never used his last name unless she was ticked off with himwhich, come to think of it, happened a couple times a week. But not for something like this. She pushed a hand through her hair in a gesture of impatience. Since I opened my big mouth, Im afraid Im stuck saying a little more. First, Id appreciate your not saying anything to the rest of the staff. It isnt a matter of keeping a secret. The pregnancy will be obvious before long. But I just found this out, and Id like some time to think about what Im going to do and how Im going to tell other people before being put on the spot.
Dont be silly. You tell me a confidence, Id take it to the grave. He wanted to say something more, but there seemed to be a lump in his throat about the size of Alaska. Not to mention that his heart was pounding so loud in his ears that he could barely think.
She pushed out of her chair again. Up down, up down, like a yo-yo. But he understood. When anxiety was chasing your tail, the inclination was to try and outrun it by staying in motion. She paced over to the window and stared down at the pounding surf below, then yanked the shades to block the view. Im afraid theres a little more to this. In this day and age, theres nothing that odd about a thirty-two-year-old woman choosing to have a baby without a husband in sight. I mean, a woman can choose the best time for her in terms of biology and health. Theres no stigma about being a single parent anymore. And If I could just sell that story to the staff, I dont think anyone would blink twice. Unfortunately, theres no possibility of my selling that fib. Because of the circumstances, the real truth is going to come out whether I want it to or not.
Youre saying theres some complication...like you dont want the baby?
Oh, I want the baby. Instinctively she pressed a hand on her heart. I didnt plan for this right now, and for sure I havent had two seconds to make plans about how Im going to cope. But the baby...Ill find a way. Whatever I have to do. It wasnt really finding out I was pregnant that threw me into shock. It was the shame.
Shame?
Again she sighed. Again she raked a hand through her hair, paced away from the window, and leaned back against her tall pecan credenza. Mitch, I shouldnt be telling you any of this.
He knew. She never admitted any private problem to the staff. She had an unbending code about what bosses should and shouldnt do around employeesand that had always applied doublefold to him. The lump in his throat seemed to be growing to the size of the Northwest Territories. She wasnt talking by choice, but because she was too shook up to hold it in. Just spill the rest of it. Youve gone this far. Get the rest off your chest.
She whispered, I dont know who the father is. How could there be a worse shame than that? And that isnt even the worst of it.
Through a mouth dryer than an abandoned well, Mitch said, So, okay. Lets hear the worst.
She gestured wildly with her hands. I dont remember. Sleeping with anyone. Its been years since I was involvedthe business took so much time to build up. I just didnt go out. And there were other reasons that I never... She clipped off that thought, and zoomed in another direction. The thing is, it had to have happened the night of the Christmas party. There was no other possible time.
The Christmas party, he echoed.
She seemed to assume something from his change in expression, because she swiftly nodded. Yes. I know. That means it was someone here. One of the team. Thats what I meant about not being able to liesomeone here unquestionably knows the truth. And on top of everything else, that it could be one of our team makes me guilty of sexual harassment
What? Hell, the woman kept lobbing grenades at him. He couldnt keep track what direction she was going to come from next.
Come on, Mitch. Im the employer. That puts me in a power position in terms of the lawand that really kills me, because I thought I was always so careful about that. But what it means is that I put one of the guys in a terrible position. Everythings my fault. I had no right...
Wait a minute, wait a minute The lump in his throat had grown to the size of a couple of continents now, but he had to get past it. She was beating herself up right and left.
But he couldnt get a word in. She was way too wound up to even acknowledge the interruption. ...and not being able to remember makes it so unforgivable. The problem was the champagneand I dont mean that like an excuse. There is no excuse for drinking when I know it goes straight to my head. But the champagne apparently fogged my memory. And thats one of the critical things I just dont know how to deal withcoming to work, facing you all, what I should say about the pregnancy when someone here obviously knows what happened. Youre going to laugh, but I thought it might be you. For two seconds.
Me?
I know. Really impossible. She rolled her eyes to the ceiling, at least for that second showing an honest spark of humor. You and I rub against each other like a snake and a mongoose. Maybe thats why I suddenly spilled all thisnot that I meant to vent on you, Mitchbut because I was so sure you have no interest in me that way. And thats one of the things thats confused me. Why the man never said anything. And no one has. All I can think is that he must really have felt put on the spot and regret that night really badly
Hey, I dont think you should just assume that. There could be all kinds of reasons why he kept quiet.
Well, whatever the reasons, I have to figure out who it is. She was back to pacing again, hips swinging, hands in constant motion. First I thought...John. Like out of kindness, because hes still having a rough time getting on his feet after that divorce. Maybe he turned to me and I just couldnt see a way to say no? Because of not wanting to be another woman who crushed his ego? But Ive thought and thought about that, and the truth is, I keep trying, but I just cant imagine kissing him, much less
The lump dissolved. He found his voice. Hey, you dont need to be thinking about John that way. In fact, forget John. Nicole
Well, I could forget John, but that leaves Rafe. Only Mitch, hes made such a point of never talking about his personal life. You know how Wilma flirts. He never bites. Hes just violent on not combining business with his private life, so if something happened with him, its really the worse kind of harassment. He could have been put in a position where he didnt feel he could say no because of his job. But he is an attractive man. Its not like I cant imagine any circumstance where
Forget Rafe. Forget imagining him that way, too. Nicole
Theres no point in my considering Wilma, because she couldnt have gotten me pregnant, she said with another dry attempt at humor. I have to know who it is. And its so frustrating that I cant remember. Somehow I have to make this right for the man involved, but I dont even know how to start. Im just so ashamed and disgusted with myself that I could have put someone in this position. I care about all of you. This is just so wrong. Wrong of me
Nicole, Mitch said for the third timethis time loud enough to wake the dead, which was what it seemed to take to catch her attention.
What?
You can quit thinking about the other guys in that context. It wasnt any of them. It was me. Im the father of your baby.
Two
Oh, no! You couldnt be the father, Mitch! You just couldnt be!
Mitch didnt wince, but he wanted to. Although Nik might not appreciate it, his mind was racing from shock, no different than hers. Obviously he was aware theyd taken a risk the night they made love, but thered been no tip that night had repercussions until this instant. That she seemed stunned at his admitting paternity was bad enough, but she also threw herself in her office chair as if she lacked the strength to face such appalling news.
At thirty-two, naturally Mitch had taken a few slices in his masculine egobut nothing that knifed his male esteem quite so fast or lethally.
Way, way backin the era before Nicole had upended his entire lifehe vaguely remembered a pleasant historical time when women actually liked him. One even told him he was a creatively inspired lover. Several had chased him downright ruthlessly. Amazing as it seemed now, hed never had a complaint about his prowess or talent between the sheets. Until Nik, no woman had ever felt obligated to completely block all memory of sleeping with him. And until now, hed never taken up with a woman who looked aghast at the idea of him in her bed.
Any second now, Mitch figured the letter of resignation burning a hole in his pocket would strike his sense of irony. Quitting was obviously out of the question now. A baby in the picture changed everything.
Only it was hard to imagine how an impossible situation could possibly have become even more disastrous. Mitch had learned the hard, bloody way that he had a problem with tenacity. Sensible people turned off when they saw a dead-end road sign. Not him. If there was something he wanted or valued, he stubbornly persisted in charging forward long past the hopeless point. He hated giving up on anything. But this afternoon, he thought hed finally gotten smarter and was doing the rational, practical thing by resigning. Getting out of her life. Removing himself from the hopeless temptation of Nicole altogether.
Only this afternoon wasnt going precisely like he planned. Under any other circumstances, that would have been great news. He never wanted to get out of her life. He never wanted to quit a job he loved. Hell, as soon as he recovered from the life-threatening shock that hed fathered a child, he was likely gonna spin high on the baby news, too. Unfortunately, one teensy small detail hadnt changed from the original core problem.
Nicole still couldnt see him for dust.
And she was still facing him with that aghast expression.
Mitch...it just couldnt have been you. The two of us just couldnt have slept together. I mean, for one thing, I know theres already a woman in your life, a Suzanne or Susan or something
Bewilderment furrowed his brow. For a moment he was completely confounded how Suz could have possibly entered this conversationbut that didnt stop him from immediately correcting her misconception. Whoatheres no one in my life. Nor would anything have happened between us if someone else had been in the wings. If Im involved, I believe in doing the loyal-as-a-hound routine. No exceptions. I cant imagine how you even heard Suzs name?
From Wilma. Im positive she said
Aw, hell. Finally it clicked how shed made the association. Yeah, well...before I moved and took the job here, there was a Suz. And when I was first hired on, Wilma came on pretty strong. I didnt know then that flirting was a life-style with her. I didnt want to hurt her feelings, and didnt want to start a new job with an awkward situation, so I made some comment about there being a Suz in my life. Good grief, I never even thought about it again. It was just a chance comment at the time. It never occurred to me that shed spread the word or that anyone else had made anything of it.
That didnt stop her from sputtering. But Mitch, it still couldnt have been you.
A billion women on the planet, and he had to fall for the one who used his masculine ego for machete practice? Trust me. It was.
But I always thought you didnt even like me
Um, Nik, thats not remotely true.
Instead of that comment reassuring her, it seemed to cause more mental wheels to spin in her mind. She seemed to sink even deeper in that office chair. A flush of guilt splashed her cheeks with color. Oh, God. Look, I have to face this, so I just you want you to be honest with me. What did I do? Throw myself at you at that party? Put you in a position where you couldnt say no because I was the boss?
Nicole, thats not at all how it happened.
Then how did it happen? And why didnt you ever say anything to me long before this?
Mitch rubbed an exasperated hand at the back of his neck. For almost three months, hed have given gold for those questions to come up. Hed had to battle every grain in his character to shut up, when his nature was to charge into a problem and confront it head-on. It was only for her sakeeverthat hed been silent.
Now, though, blurting out the plain truth wasnt that simple. He was painfully conscious that how he handled the situation could either open doorsfor her, for him, for the two of themor permanently close them. Somehow, he had to buy himself some thinking time.
Slowly he stood up. Im not ducking those questions, NikI want to answer them. But its after hours. You look beat. And I dont think the office is the best place to discuss this. Im guessing youd like to go home, put your feet up, get a chance to catch your breath. How about if I pick up some Chineseor whatever you feel like for dinnerand we meet up at your place?
I dont know... She started shaking her head.
I understandyou just had all this sprung on you. And I dont want you to feel put on the spot. About anything. But before you start making plans about the baby, I think you need to know what happened that night. Im part of this, too...and it doesnt matter to me whether we talk at my place or yours, but I assume youd be more comfortable on your turf.
She agreednot, Mitch suspected, because she willingly wanted more time with him, but because she really, really wanted to know what happened that night. After that, they both went in motion. She locked the office; he called ahead to order dinner, and they separated in the parking lot. A half hour later, hed picked up the Chinese takeout and was swinging his red Miata into her drive.
Juggling the overfull bag of Chinese food cartons, he climbed out of the car and hip-slammed the door with his gaze riveted on her house. Hed only seen it oncethe night of the Christmas party. And one look was all it took for him to recall that night in Technicolor and surround-sound detail... but remembering his redhead naked and her warm, willing body and those lethally vulnerable eyes of hers was trouble. At the time, he thought he was waking up Sleeping Beauty. In fact, he could have sworn that was exactly what happened...except that the princess failing to remember a damn thing had totally screwed up the end on the fairy tale.
But the question was what to do now. He stood a moment longer, studying her place, willing answers about Nicole to come to him from her choice of home.
Nik picked up clients from the spray of Oregon tourist towns up and down the coastFlorence and Newport and Reedsportbut her property was between those splashes of civilization, off the beaten path. Once upon a time, it had probably been someones summer beach house. The outside was ramshackle, but ramshackle with character. The house was two sturdy stories, with clapboard siding that showed off years of weathering winds. A wraparound porch circled the bottom story, where balconies jutted off bedrooms on the second floor. The yard was an overgrown garden of willowy ornamental grasses like sea oats and sweet grass, a shade spot created by a gnarled old cypress tree. The steps leading down to the bluff edge of the sea were beat-up boards.
Maybe an artist had built the place, because it had that bohemian I - dont - give - a - damn - what - anyone - else - thinks kind of character. And the first time Mitch saw it, hed fallen in love. It seemed so right for Nik. The house capsulized the secret romantic and wild free spirit hed always sensed in her.
In the office, she was so contained. Right from the start, her quicksilver mind had ransomed his heart, but she was a different woman at work, always worrying about doing the right thing, behaving the right way with the team. There was no reason she couldnt laugh and loosen upexcept in her own mindbut from the day he met her, he wondered where shed learned all that control, what life lessons had taught her all that worry. Hed seen loneliness in her eyes. Hed seen her start to laugh, then cut it off. Hed seen her passionate zest for life a million times when she was brainstorming ideas, but that exuberance got clipped with ruthless scissors around people. Her choice of house reflected both the mystery and challenge that Mitch had always seen in Nik. There was a warm, sensual life-lover under the surfaceif the right lover could just coax her to set it free.
Once upon a time, hed even been arrogant enough to think that lover could be him.
The screen door suddenly clapped open. Mitch? I thought I heard your car. Come on in.
He didnt want to go in. Given a choice, what he really wanted to do was drop the food, grab her, and try kissing her senseless. Just looking at her had always made his hormones stand up and bay like a mournful, lonesome hound, and right now she was damn well breathtaking. A west wind had scuttled away the afternoons blustery clouds, and the evening was turning clear as glass. Her hair caught the sunset flame, made her skin glow with a sensual, soft, pearl luminescence.
Still, he cut the juice on the electric charge in his pulse. Kissing her senseless might be an inspiring idea but could too easily end up a disastrous one. And as he hiked toward the house, he discovered they had a new and interesting problem. Youd better be hungry. I brought enough Chinese to feed a platoon.
I can see that, she said wryly. Swiftly she took the food cartons when he stepped in, but her eyes flashed on his face and then skittered away. Nik wasnt a skitterer. Shed take on a tiger and not look back for something she wanted to win. So, he mused, shed done some thinking. And maybe she didnt remember that night, but it was pretty obvious she was suddenly aware of him in a whole different way. Hed metamorphosed from a nice, safe, tame employee into an unknown quantity of lover.
He liked those nerves. It evened things up. Hed suffered sexual tension all these months alone, when God knew he was more than willing to share. Of course, unanswered questions suddenly hung in the air between them like grenades, but Mitch figured one thing at a time. If you tell me where the plates are, Ill help put the dinner on, he offered.
You dont have to help. It wont take me a second. Can I get you a drink first?
Yeah, waterwhich Ill get for myself. I didnt suggest dinner so you could wait on me, Nik. The idea was to give you a chance to relax.
That plan worked on a par with peace talks in the Middle East. They settled in her blue-tiled kitchen. He watched her poke at her egg roll, fork down a little sweet and sour shrimp, sample some of the war sui gui. Mostly she gulped water and charged down conversational roads like religion and politicsgutsy stuff to argue about, but nothing remotely related to anything on either of their minds.
Mitch didnt mind her stalling; he thought she needed the unwind time. But typically Nik never cut herself any slack, and as if she realized how long shed been chitchatting, she suddenly set down her fork. Were not getting it done, she said impatiently.
Getting what done?
Both of us are avoiding the subject of babies like itd bite us. And its my fault. Its not that I dont want to talk about it. I do. But somehow I cant figure out what to say, how to start...
Theres nothing to be blaming yourself for. Youre uncomfortable with me
No, of course not. Weve worked together for months, for heavens sakes. Even when we dont see eye to eye, we trade insults and bicker like old friends. Weve never really had a problem talking together.
But there was a difference, Mitch thought, and that difference was her thinking of him as a lover instead of an employee. He pushed back his chair. Look, how about if we try getting out of the house, take a walk on the beach?
Her eyes immediately brightened. Yeah. Fresh air sounds good. But then she glanced down at her business suit.
Ill do the dishes. Thatll give you a chance to change into something warmer and more comfortable than work clothes.
You dont have to do the dishes
Its nothing, Nik. Go on.
She hesitated, but then said okay and disappeared upstairs to change. Mitch leveled the dishes in two minutes flat, then wandered into her living room. The night of the Christmas party, the inside of her house had fascinated him as much as the outsidebut for entirely different reasons.
The open staircase led to three bedrooms and two baths on the second story. Downstairs, the front door opened onto a massive living area with big bay windows overlooking the ocean bluff. The blue-tiled kitchen was chunked down in the middle, leading down two steps to a dining and sunroom that both faced east. Tucked on like an afterthought was a small wing that contained an office study and bathroom.
The layout was fineit was the decor that confounded Mitch. At work, he and Nik were a natural team. With his architectural background, he was at home with beams and studs, where she was the pro at color and style and all that female stuff. Hell, shed built up a thriving business from scratch because her perception was so sharp. Meet a client and right off she tuned into the individuals personality and all the internal decor ingredients that worked for that person. Get her going on the Feng Shui concepts about balance and harmony and it was tough to shut her up.
Yet the decor in her own place was perplexingly horrible. He wandered around, hands in his pockets, just looking. Shed obviously put time and money into it, but the decorating style was stark minimalistunrelenting neutrals, taupe carpet, taupe couches, taupe walls. A pale oak table displayed coffee-table art books. Appropriate, pricey pictures hung on the walls. Nobody could criticize a single furnishing. It was all textbook perfect. Theyd had clients whod probably orgasm to achieve the same look, but they werent Nik. There were no splashes of colors, no hint of her vibrant creativity or independent spirit.
The living roomthe whole inside decormade him think of a trapped soul. He saw that side of her at work, too. Nik was always proper, hyper about doing the right thing, no bending on standards. Gutsy in her business, but sleeping through life. Restlessly Mitch jingled the change in his pocket, thinking that if he hadnt glimpsed the other side of Nik, hed never have this damn fool convoluted problem of being gut-deep in love with her.
But he bad. Memories stirred of another room in her housethe only room where she hadnt bleached out every stamp of her personality. Her bedroom. He remembered all of it. The thick, soft rose carpeting. The antique sleigh bed. The old-fashioned dressing table with a needlepoint seat, pearls dripping from a crystal bowl, vials of perfume and cosmetic pots and a cloisonn dish heaped with earrings.
The room reflected the Nik hed always sensed under the surface, exuberantly female, a free-flow of rich textures and sensual colors. But it wasnt the furnishings in that bedroom that had kidnapped a niche on his soul the night of the Christmas party. It was Sleeping Beauty coming awake in his arms, coming alive, the rigidly careful Nik forgetting all that control in the dark...but abruptly Mitch heard footsteps.
He spun around to see Nicole bounding down the stairs, dressed in skinny jeans and old sneakers and a voluminous threadbare black sweatshirt.
Ill be damned, he murmured. Whod have guessed youd own anything with a frayed collar? Im impressed.
No teasing allowed. Its a sacred sweatshirt, she said dryly.
I understand. Ive got a sacred tee from college basketball days. When my dad got sick a few years ago, I showed up in the hospital wearing that tee. My mom was disgusted. I didnt care. I wanted luck for my dad any way I could get it.
A flash of a smile in her eyes, but then she cocked her head. Your dads okay now?
Fit as a fiddle. You ready to head out?
I am...but Im not sure this is such a great idea. Youre still stuck wearing your shoes from work. Im afraid theyll get wrecked on the beach. And its coldI could loan you a jacket, but I cant imagine having anything of mine thatd fit.
Mitch figured itd be an uphill job to teach her some selfishness. Typically she was worried about himeven under the circumstancesrather than thinking of herself. But she was also a good head shorter than his six-three. Imagining how hed fit in anything of hers made him grin. These loafers have seen sand before. And Ive got a fleece jacket in the car Ill grab when we go out.
Okay, then. Lets hit it.
Outside, the sky had darkened to a deep velvet-blue, the moon just rising to light their way. He fetched his fleece jacket and zipped up, feeling the sharp salt air suck in his lungs, fresh and invigorating. Pale stars illuminated their climb down to the beach from the board steps. The surf was sleepy at high tide. Foam sneaked up the sand, leaving a lacy collar of froth in its wake. Common to this stretch of Oregons coast, giant rocks jutted from the water, plunked down like mythical black sculptures of all shapes and sizes. In the darkness they looked like a giants play toys.
He let Nicole set the walking pace, which naturally for her was a full-speed charge. They hiked in silence for a bit, both of them savoring the magic of the sea, the night, the fresh air. Striding next to her, he was conscious of his height and her smallness, conscious of how the worn jeans showed off her fanny and long slim legs, conscious that she stole looks at his face...and conscious that no matter how good walking with her felt, it wasnt getting their talking done.
I moved here from Seattle, he said finally.
I know. I remember from your job application. You were one of the architects for a firm named Stricklands.
I was an architect there, yes. But what I didnt mention on the ap was that I owned the firm.
She tilted her face, her eyebrows arched in question. Why didnt you say so at the time?
Because when I started job huntingfor the work I wantedI got a steady round of turndowns. On paper, I looked overpriced and overqualified. I had no way to make anyone believe from a rsum that the work I was applying for was what I really wanted to do.
Obviously theres more to that story, she prodded him.
Yeah, there is. He picked up a flat stone, and tried skimming it. Three hops before it sank. He was out of practice. I come from a long line of overachievers. My dad, mom, two brotherseveryones good with money, carved out a successful place in the business world. My dad used to say I had the strongest bent for turning a dime into a dollarwhich he was proud of me for. I started investing when I was 14, had enough of a nest-egg to buy Stricklands when I was 24. Of course the business was facing a Chapter Eleven, so anyone could have picked it up for a lick and a song. I was just so young and dumb I didnt know what I was getting into. As it happened, though, by the time I sold it two years ago, the company had grown from a handful of employees to a staff of sixty and we were making money hand over fist.
This was a problem? she asked wryly.
For me, it was. I couldnt control it. The drive. I wasmaybecatching four hours sleep a night. Had an ulcer that didnt want to heal. Lost a woman I really cared for because I neglected her and the relationship both. And the real bug was, my degree was in architecture but all I was doing was management. Maybe I had a talent for the money side of things, but that wasnt the point. I hated it. I got into architecture because my dream was to build, to create, to make things. I like studs and beams and fighting with contractors, not paperwork. But because the business was going so well, it was hard for me to see it was a personal dead-end road. I was running my life by my familys expectationstrying to be someone Im not. And getting nothing done that really mattered to me.
For an instant her eyes glinted with a curious light. I know what thats liketrying to meet family expectations that dont fit you any better than a round peg in a square hole. But anyway, you said you sold the business...
Yeah. And for a while I didnt work. I bought a house here, got a boat, did some fishing and hiking and mountain climbing. I cant say I needed the break so much. But I needed time to be more sure of myself, sure I wouldnt get sucked into the family expectation thing again, sure about what I really wanted to do. And when I felt I had my ducks in a row, I sent out rsumsand took the job with you.
She hesitated. I cant believe I didnt guess your background long before this. You and I always bucked heads at work. Now, that makes more sense. Youre used to taking charge. You jump in to fix things. And when you do it better than me, it gets my dander up every time.
If you think that our bucking heads was about a power struggle, Im telling you no. I dont want your job, Nik. Never did. Personally I think that edginess between us comes from an entirely different source.
What?
He thought the chemistry between them caused enough sexual friction to spontaneously combust a forest fire or two. But just then, he didnt think Nicole was real open to hearing that. We can talk about that another time. The reason I brought up all this stuff about my background was to prod your memory. Because I havent told you one thing you didnt already know about me.
She stopped dead, her expression a mirror of confusion. No, I didnt
Yeah, you did. We talked about it the night of the Christmas party. Maybe until that moment, hed never completely believed her about not remembering. But he could see her swallow, see the way her eyes darted nervously to his face. Nik just wouldnt be revealing that kind of vulnerabilityor fearif shed recalled what happened. Slowly he said, The others left just after midnight. I would have, too, only you and I started talking. Both of us. Not just me. You told me a bunch of personal things about yourself no different than
Oh God. Whatd I say?
Shed told him no deep dark secrets. Mitch only wished she had. If he understood better what made her tick, hed feel a lot more secure knowing how to handle this whole situation now. You never said anything you need to worry about. Im just trying to tell you how that night played out. Id had a fair amount of champagne. So had you. I never planned to end up in your bed, Nikhell, Id have brought protection if Id ever thought there was even a remote chance of that. We just started talking. And youd never really talked with me before, not deep-type talk, and one kind of closeness led to another. I knew wed been drinking, but I honestly didnt think either of us had that much. As far as I understood, we were both fully aware of making a choice.
Edgily she picked up a flat stone, skimmed it like he had. Hers bounced six times, which she didnt even stop to appreciate. She was already looking at him again. Mitch, it never crossed my mind to blame you. I already figured it was my fault.
Frustration clawed through his pulse. Hed wanted her to understand that hed never been a predatory wolf in the story, preying on a vulnerable woman whod maybe sipped a little too much champagne. But hed never intended to cop out on responsibility or for her to heap guilt on her own shoulders either. Nicole, listen to me. Get that idea out of your mind. It wasnt about fault. It was an unforgettable night. You were...incredible. Warm, giving, uninhibited. Wild. You went straight to my head. Champagne had nothing to do with it.
Three
Hopefully Mitch couldnt see the flush burning her cheeks in the darkness, but for that instant, Nicole couldnt have answered him if her life depended on it. Wild? Surely he had her confused with another woman. Warm, uninhibited, incredible? She had no idea who he was describing, but it couldnt possibly be her.
Her arms were already wrapped around her ribs, but she tucked them even tighter. For years shed had her life on a clear track. She only colored between the lines. She obeyed the rules. Shed even decorated her house to express exactly the kind of woman she wasfussily neat, proper, on the formal side. She wasnt remotely related to the selfish, irresponsible teenager shed once been. Champagne or no champagne, she just couldnt imagine throwing all that hard-won caution to the winds and being the kind of passionate cookie Mitch was describing.
She wasnt passionate.
She wasnt even an emotional woman. Actually, there were moments she thought she was turning into a downright tedious prigbut that was way better than flying through life barreling into impulsive, disastrous mistakes the way she used to.
The tide whooshed in and foamed around her feet, seeping into her sneakers. The water was icy, yet she didnt move, fiercely willing the cold to shock her mind into remembering that darn night. Only nothing came. The night was a complete blank slateexcept for the parts hed filled in.
She stole a glance at Mitch, then quickly looked away. This was horrible. Suddenly she couldnt look at him without thinking about sex. Shed never thought of him that way, not just because he was an employee, but because he was a blond beanpole. If a guy caught her eye, he invariably had darker coloring and some meat on his bones. Mitch was about five miles tall and all of it skinny.
Only now she kept noticing that there was nothing skinny about the breadth of his shoulders. And his basket-ball-player height made her think of an athletes rhythm and stamina. And once she thought back, hed just never looked at her with those sky-blue eyes in a nice, innocuous, friendly way. It was always there. That gender edginess. She just never forgot for an instant that she was female, not around Mitch, and now all those little details were adding up to drive her crazy. Shed have given gold for even fragments of memory from the night of the Christmas party, yet that corner of her mind seemed as locked as a bank vault.
Mitch, she blurted out, if it all happened that way, why didnt you ever say anything to me long before this?
Believe me, I wanted to. But everything after that started getting complicated. To begin with, I left in the morning while you were still sleeping. The last thing I wanted to do was leave you, but youd told me there were cleaning people coming first thing in the morning to clear up after the party. And I just didnt think youd be comfortable, people coming in, a man in your house that way....
I wouldnt have been, she admitted.
And I called you later that day. But right off, you brought up business, a problem with a client wed been having...which was fine...except that it seemed real obvious to me you were deliberately avoiding any mention of our night together.
I wasnt deliberately avoiding anything, I swear! I honestly didnt remember.
He nodded. So youre telling me now. But it never occurred to me that you didnt remember then. I had no reason to know that, no reason to guess that. I assumed you knew, and that your ducking any mention of it was a choice. You closed up like a clam, and I was struggling to understand why. I knew perfectly well that you always had a hyper thing about not getting personally involved with the people who worked for you
Because it risks sexual harassment. Any boss is in a power position whether she wants to be or not. It just makes any personal relationship wrong
Nik, I know all the laws, he said impatiently. And I always respected you for being so carefulbut none of that applied to you and me. Id told you about my background. I dont need the job. Not financially or in any other sense. You have no power over me like in a regular employer /employee situation. And since wed talked about that, I figured that wasnt the problem. It had to be something else. The only conclusion I could draw was that our making love had upset you, and you needed some time to think about it. So I shut up, too. As I saw it, that was what you wanted. And my feeling was just...to wait. Keep working together. See how you felt as time passed. I didnt want to push or pressure you into something you didnt want or werent ready for. But...
But? she echoed when he didnt immediately finish his comment.
He stopped, with the moonlit surf behind him, making his hair looked brushed with silver and the strong, angular bones in his face appear carved in stone. Only his eyes looked liquid, and his gaze focused on her face with the intensity of a caress. But I also thought you knew, Nik. How incredible that night was. What kind of chemistry wed created together. To be honest, I wasnt thinking about the risk of babies. I was thinking that youd been scared off by another kind of risk entirelythe way wed come together like thunder and lightning. Because I never expected that kind of passionate explosion between us either.
Her throat went bone dry. So they were back to sex again. And not just sex, but incredible sex. How the evening had unfolded, why hed stayed quiet later, thinking it was for her sakeshe believed Mitch completely about those parts of the story. She trusted his integrity. Hed proven it a hundred times at work. Heaven knew, he could be tactful with a client, but he was the first one to leap in with sharp, blunt honesty when the going got rough. And truth to tell, she could easily imagine Mitch creating thunder and lightning as a lover. It was her. Being hot like that. Sexy like that. Nothing like he described had ever happened to her.
Possibly shed chosen to be celibate for a blue moon, but she was no virgin. Her first forays into sexuality, though, all stemmed from the era when shed been rebellious, reckless and painfully young. She hadnt known what she was doing, any more than the boys shed experimented with. Whatever sensuality was in her nature...it wasnt a matter of hiding it. She always wanted to explore that with the right man. But shed had mistakes to bury and atone for and fix, and it had taken every ounce of her time to make a new life for herself. Shed put her hormones up in a mental attic.
Or she thought she had.
Am I making you uncomfortable, talking about this? he asked her.
It doesnt matter whether Im uncomfortable or not. I needed to know the truth. But now she could barely look at him without feeling heat climb her throat in a heart-slamming rush.
Yeah, I agree. Knowing what happened is a critical ingredient to your deciding what you want to do next. And thats what we got together to talk about, isnt it?
Sex? Tarnation. Doubtless the word slipped out because it was in block letters at the tip of her mind.
But Mitch responded with a slow teasing grin. It was obviously beyond him to be a gentleman and let the slip pass. Hey, Im always up for talking about sex...but I was pretty sure what you wanted to discuss was babies.
Of course I want to talk about babies, Nicole rapidly assured him. The baby is the only subject on my mind. Completely. Totally.
Now, dont start getting nervous again
Im not nervous, she immediately denied...but she was. Once the blasted man had put pictures of their making love in her mind, it was harder to get them out than rousting a stubborn sliver. There were a dozen dead serious concerns troubling her, yet her thoughts kept straying down sexual fantasy roads with him playing the lead. She was appalled at herself, but even a brickload of guilt couldnt seem to dig out that sliver.
Okay, youre not nervous, he said gently. But, um, before you charge down the beach for another mile at the same breakneck pace...weve really hiked a long way? And youve had a tiring day. Dont you think its about time to turn around and head back?
She turned around. Promptly. And because shed mastered the fine art of proper behavior, she didnt smack him. There wasnt an ounce of sarcasm in his voice, but that was exactly why the thought of punching him was so tempting. He could get sharp with other people. With her, he used that low, whiskey-gentle voiceeven when she was wrong. Hells bells, especially when she was wrong. It was just infuriating. I was just going to suggest that we turn around.
Im sure you were, he agreed. And in the meantime... we may have covered how we got in this predicamentbut not what either of us wants to do about it. And I have an idea on the subject of babies Id like you to consider.
What?
The old traditional one that couples have been trying since the beginning of time when a pregnancy showed up unexpectedlymarriage.
For the first time all day she relaxed. A chuckle bubbled from her throat and emerged in a peal of laughter. Nothing was funny about her situation, nothing humorous in this whole encounter with Mitch. But her nerves had been strung so tight, and his joke just hit her as natural comic relief. Thanks, Sir Galahad. That was sweet.
Uh, Nik? I wasnt being sweet. It was a serious of fer.
Her laughter died, but not her smile. Come on, I know you dont mean it. Were not living in the dark ages. Nobody has to get married anymore. Women alone are raising kids all over the place.
So...theres no question in your mind about having this child? he asked swiftly. I know you said earlier that you wanted the baby. But that was also just a few short minutes after you found out you were pregnant.
She sobered quickly then. Are you asking me whether I changed my mind, might be thinking about an abortion?
Yeah, thats what Im asking.
She slugged her hands in the back pockets of her jeans. If I were sixteen, or ill, or I knew something was wrong with the baby...I dont know what Id do, she said with careful honesty. But my circumstances are nothing like that Maybe I wasnt expecting the news of a pregnancy at this exact moment in time...but I always wanted children. I couldnt be more at an ideal healthy age to have a baby. I can financially support one. And yes, I want him...or her. I just havent had time to do all the thinking or planning about how Im going to cope with things yet.
Okay. Mitch released a pent-up sigh, as if he really hadnt been sure how she was going to answer that question. But youre going to be trying to juggle a pregnancy and work. And then a new baby and work.
I know that
And Im in this picture, Nik. Not just because I want to be a fatherand an active, involved father. But because I know your business. Theres no one else whos in an equally good position to help you through this. I can deal with work decisions when you cant. I can make it possible for you to juggle your personal schedule any way you need it juggled.
She fell silent. Those things were undeniably true. She hadnt thought about Mitch in a role as father, or his rights as a dador how to make any of that work. She also hadnt meant to be so insensitive as to only be thinking of herself and the baby as only her problem.
Im also concerned about the side ways this could affect your work and the business. Like you said, a woman could choose to have a kid on her own today. But thats in theory, and lifes never quite so nice as theory. Theres bound to be buzz about your getting knocked up, getting involved with a guy who wouldnt step up. So maybe most people would be okay with it. But youve got some conservative clients. And youve worked hard to build a respectable, responsible reputation.
I hear you. But Im not afraid of taking any heat
Nik, Im sure youre not. And I never did give a damn what people thought. But Im a saying a ring on your finger would make sure those problems never happened.
She shoved a hand through her hair. This was exactly how Mitch was at work. When the team started arguingand creative people were notorious for getting their egos confused with their opinionsMitch rarely raised his voice, just quietly, firmly, kept spilling out practical, sensible angles on a problem. A woman could actually start believing that a marriage between strangers made sensewhen she knew perfectly well it didnt
And a ring on your finger would give the baby a name. People dont label a kid bastard any more, thank God, but I still think a name matters. I cant believe your parents and family wouldnt have something to say about your having a baby out of wedlockat least if being married were a choice.
She swallowed. Hard. Mitch couldnt know he was ripping the scab off some real old scars with that comment. For years now, shed been trying to rebuild a relationship with her parents. The estrangement had been caused by her irresponsible teenage behavior entirelyand in their shoes, Nicole wouldnt have been any quicker to forgive. But shed hoped that time would prove to them that shed changed, and those hurts would eventually heal if she persisted in living a decent, respectable life. To announce an unwed pregnancy could well close those doors all over again. Because it was exactly the kind of disappointment in character and morals they were surely expecting from her.
Still. Trying to correct a wrong by doing something disastrously more wrong was never a solution. Every problem youre pointing out is very real, but I just cant believe you mean it. We cant possibly get married, Landers! Come on, its just crazy. We dont even know each other!
Youve known me for months.
Thats not the same kind of knowing! For Petes sake, we cant even get through a staff meeting without bickering and friction most of the time.
It never occurred to you that there might be an interesting reason we always caused so much friction together?
She halted in her tracks. What are you trying to say? That sexual chemistry caused that friction?
Yeah, I do. Now. Originally I just thought we had a little personality clash...but the night of the Christmas party damn well forced me to notice there was evidence in another direction entirely. I think we had liquid oxygen between us all along. We just didnt know it until someone lit a match.
Well, the damn man flustered her all over again. She couldnt deny what she couldnt remember. Chemistry or no chemistry...you just cant be serious, Mitch. Knights dont charge in to rescue ladies in trouble any more. Im not in trouble. Neither are you. Not only do neither of us have to get married, but in a thousand years I cant imagine your wanting to get hooked up with me.
No?
No, she sputtered. Of course not. I mean, look at us. Your office looks like a marine bivouac, sports stuff and guy-type messes all over the place. Im a neatnik, an order lover. You think I dont know the whole staff thinks Im prissy? A pain-in-the-behind stickler for the rules? You couldnt possibly want to be married to me. Wed drive each other crazy in half a dayassuming we lasted that long.
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Jennifer Greene
MEN of the YEAR MAN of the MONTH"I am a man of honor. If she's carrying my child, she will be my wife! - Mitch Landers, the Prince Charming no woman could forget It wasn't the flu. Nicole was pregnant. And darned if she could remember sleeping with a man in the past four years. Not unless she and co-worker Mitch had actually ?Well, they had, and now her very own Sir Galahad was before her on bended knee. His proposal was duty-bound, although real passion sparked in Mitch's glance and touch. Could a marriage forged for baby's sake end in a legend-worthy love for Sleeping Beauty and her dream prince?Some men are made for lovin' - and you'll love our MAN OF THE MONTH!
Like Sleeping Beauty, hed wakened her from a sound sleep the night their child was conceived. (#u02758f6c-3385-529c-8b3f-2d15051ee769)Letter to Reader (#ub4ea2610-fb06-579b-afc4-4e346603e362)Title Page (#u66660f2e-5c79-504a-b173-c8c7b1bf00ec)About the Author (#uc9f299d7-73c8-5108-99e5-d0360005720a)Dedication (#uf15465ad-ba36-5f55-83ed-dab60d2b485d)Chapter One (#u288b46e9-62a1-5b97-872c-d19e920bc051)Chapter Two (#u954edc6c-9f02-597c-902f-9f6e01854357)Chapter Three (#u02f727db-c2d6-53cc-90e8-4a8ff9485582)Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Like Sleeping Beauty, hed wakened her from a sound sleep the night their child was conceived.
Only, instead of a happily-ever-after, hed aroused her awareness of all the things in her life that were missing.
Nicole was terribly afraid that shed fallen in love with him. He wasnt the man shed worked with all these months. He was someone else. He was a mysterious, compelling lover who invoked incredibly strange and powerful feelings when he kissed her. He made her feel safe and frightened at the same time. Somehow hed gotten her talking as if they were going to be parenting the baby together. Somehow it didnt seem that hard to imagine herself married to Mitch, waking up to him every morning, sharing their babys life, sharing their own life when the lights went off every night.
Thats how the damn man made her feel. Like those things were possible....
HAPPILY EVER AFTER:
Your favorite fairy tales freshly told, with
all the passion youve ever craved.
Dear Reader.
The joys of summer are upon usalong with some July fireworks from Silhouette Desire!
The always wonderful Jennifer Greene presents our July MAN OF THE MONTH in Prince Charmings Child. A contemporary romance version of Sleeping Beauty this title also launches the authors new miniseries, HAPPILY EVER AFTER, inspired by those magical fairy tales we loved in childhood. And ever-talented Anne Marie Winston is back with a highly emotional reunion romance in Lovers Reunion. The popular miniseries TEXAS BRIDES by Peggy Moreland continues with the provocative story of That McCloud Woman. Sheiks abound in Judith McWilliamss The Sheiks Secret, while a plain Jane is wooed by a millionaire in Jan Hudsons Plain Janes Texan. And Barbara McCauleys new dramatic miniseries, SECRETS!, debuts this month with Blackhawks Sweet Revenge.
Weve got more excitement for you next monthwatch for the premiere of the compelling new Desire miniseries THE TEXAS CATTLEMANS CLUB. Some of the sexiest, most powerful men in the Lone Star State are members of this prestigious club, and they all find love when they least expect it! Youll learn more about THE TEXAS CATTLEMANS CLUB in our August Dear Reader letter, along with an update on Silhouettes new continuity, THE FORTUNES OF TEXAS, debuting next month.
And this month, join in the celebrations by treating yourself to all six passionate Silhouette Desire titles.
Enjoy!
Joan Marlow Golan
Senior Editor, Silhouette Desire
Please address questions and book requests to:
Silhouette Reader Service
U.S : 3010 Walden Ave., P.O. Box 1325, Buffalo, NY 14269
Canadian: P.O. Box 609, Fort Erie, Ont. L2A 5X3
Jennifer Greene
Prince Charmings Child
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
JENNIFER GREENE
sold her first book in 1980, and has written more than fifty category romances. She has worked as a teacher, counselor and personnel manager, and has a degree from Michigan State in English and psychology. She lives near Lake Michigan with her husband, two children and their two-hundred-pound Newfound-land Moose.
Known for her warm, sensitive characters, Jennifer has won numerous awards, including the RWA Silver Medallion in 1984 and Lifetime and Career Achievement Awards from Romantic Tunes Magazine. In 1998 she entered the RWA Hall of Fame after winning her third RITA.
To my readers,
As a girl, I inhaled every fairy tale I could get my hands on, but I became exasperated with them when I grew up. The romantic nature of the stories is wonderful, but the woman was always sitting back, counting on the guy to rescue her, rarely lifting a finger to help herselfnothing I can imagine todays woman would tolerate.
This story is the start of the HAPPILY EVER AFTER trilogy for Silhouette Desire...but each romance has a todays woman twist on the old fairy-tale fantasies. Sleeping Beauty was always one of my favorites, but in this tale, when my hero wakes up Sleeping Beauty, is he ever sorry. My prince opens a Pandoras box of trouble, for her and him both. If he thought he was going to win a happily-ever-after that easily, my heroines about to teach him otherwise.
I hope you enjoy Prince Charmings Child, and the next two to come!
One
Since Nicole hadnt been near a mans bed in four years, she chuckled when she heard the results of the pregnancy test.
Im sure someonell be happy to hear that, but it cant be me. Trust meyoure either looking at another patients file or the test results are wrong.
Conceivably the nurse practitioner had heard words of denial from her patients before, because her prompt answer sounded prepared. Theres always a margin for error with the tests, but thats why we back them up with a physical. Youre about two and a half months along, Ms. Stewart, and I can see that you obviously werent expecting this pregnancy. If you need to talk to someone about your options
Nicoles smile disappeared faster than smoke when she realized the nurse was serious. Im thirty-two, not some irresponsible sixteen-year-old. I know what my options areand my responsibilities. You dont understand. This isnt a matter of being surprised by an unexpected pregnancy. Its that I cant be pregnant at all. I havent been with anyone.
Well, miracles do happen, but Ive never heard of one on this subject The last I knew, it always takes two to tango.
Nicole understood the womans wry teasing was an effort to help her relax, but this was no humorous matter. Not to her. I realize you think Im joking, but I swear Im not. I havent tangoed with anyone! The tests simply have to be wrong. I only came in because I thought I had the flu, for Petes sake.
The nurse practitioner patiently spent another fifteen minutes with her. It didnt help. Nicole left the womens clinic feeling shell-shocked, carrying prescriptions for vitamins and morning sickness, her mind buzzing with information on the symptoms she could expect for the next six and a half months.
Pregnant. The word kept reeling through her mind as she pushed open the door. Outside, a blustery damp wind tore straight through her ivory silk blouse and clawed at her auburn hair. She should have known better than to leave her suit jacket at the office. Two hours before, the day had been balmy warm, but weather on the Oregon coast was typically capriciousif not downright meanin early March.
Hurrying to her white Taurus, she climbed inside, but her fingers were so shaky she could hardly fit in the ignition key, much less punch the buttons for the heater. This was just so crazy! If she were almost three months pregnant right now, that meant the baby had to be conceived around the Christmas holidays.
And that was impossible. Not a little impossible. 100% impossible.
She swung onto the coastal highway and leveled her foot on the accelerator. Work By Design, her business, was only a ten-minute drive from the womens clinic, ample time for the last few years to flash in front of her eyes.
Long ago shed discovered a talent for design, but there was a crowded abundance of competition in the interior decorating field. The psychology of work environments was new then. Employers were just catching on that an ergonomic, efficient office space could provably increase worker productivity and job satisfaction. Shed seen the niche. More relevant for her personally, shed needed to do something that made a positive difference in others lives. She did the artsy stuff from the start, but it took finding the right engineer and architect to really make Work By Design come together. After four yearsand her specifically devoting sixteen-hour daysthe business was not only cooking, but bubbling over with potential growth now.
Through these years, though, there had never been a spare second to think of babies or a private life. If the right man had popped into her life, who knew, maybe shed have rethought having a baby. But that was precisely the point. Thered been no right men, no wrong men, no any men.
Nicole had never exactly planned to turn into a celibate saint, but there were darn good reasons why shed chosen the life-style of a workaholic hermit.
Her stomach suddenly clenched with nerves. Old nerves. Old, scary, ghost-nerves that hadnt peeked out of her emotional closet in years. Shed grown up taking every wrong road there was to take. Shed known trouble from the inside out. Cripes, shed been trouble from the inside out. But a cop named Sam had helped her around seventeen years ago. Shed started a new life in a new place and done her best not to look back.
She was ashamed of where shed beenbut, finally, proud of the woman she was becoming. Thered been no irresponsible, impulsive mistakes. None. Not even little ones. Shed turned herself into a completely different kind of woman than the hellion teenager shed been growing up as.
Or so shed believed. Until the pregnancy test this afternoon had turned out positive.
Minutes later, she parked in front of the stone-and-glass office building and barreled inside, away from the devil wind, hiking past John. Mitch. Wilma. Rafe.
Her office was at the far end, a sanctuary with blue silk walls and thick, silencing carpet and windows that overlooked a cliff edge view of the Pacific. Waves thundered and pounded the rocks below, looking wild and lonely. Exactly how she felt. With her pulse racing faster than a frantic battery, she plunked down in the chair behind her gleaming pecan desk and squeezed her eyes closed.
The faces of her staff again chased through her mind. John, Mitch, Wilma, Rafe. And yes, of course she remembered holding an office party two days before Christmas last year. It was the only social event shed been remotely part of in a blue moon.
And long before today, shed realized that parts of that evening were hazy in her memorybut that never seemed remotely strange, simply because shed been so dead tired that night. Shed hosted the party at her house for a number of reasons. She wanted the staff to indulge in all the champagne they wanted, and at home, she had spare rooms for anyone to sleep over so no one had to worry about drinking and driving. Thered been so much to organize and plan. Shed had lobsters brought in, oysters on the half shell, chocolate-covered strawberriesevery luxury she could think of, because her team had an unbeatably successful year and deserved being spoiled.
Nicole suddenly rubbed two fingers on her temples. The staff had had a blast, which was exactly what shed wanted to happenshe recalled moments from the party with crystal clarity. But until now, shed forgotten how theyd teased her about not drinking. They were always ribbing her about being too formal, never letting down her hair and loosening up.
It was never a good idea to let down her hair. Ever. She had too much past history she wanted buried good and deep. The staff respected her, and shed done her absolutely damnedest to earn that respect. Besides that, she couldnt handle liquorwhich heaven knew shed learned the hard way years before.
But Nicole suddenly remembered a glass of champagne being thrust in her hands that night. At least one glass. Possibly two.
Holy cripes, could she have had three?
Because suddenly she realized that was precisely the part of the evening when her memory turned as murky as an ocean cave. That hadnt mattered before. But unless shed become pregnant via immaculate conceptionwhich unfortunately was a stretch, even for a woman who made a living on her creative imaginationsuddenly the part of the evening she didnt remember mattered a whole bunch.
Restlessly she swung out of the desk and paced to the open door. Each employee had an individual office, but the central area was organized with tables and drafting boards and a video setup. Developing models and layups took space, and often the staff worked together on projects.
John was sprawled with his feet on a table, working with a sketch pad on his lap. From the doorway, she could see the smooth dome of his head, his Mickey Mouse tie, the concentration furrow in the middle of his brow. John handled the advertising and marketing. He was forty-two and growing a little couch-potato pooch and wonderful at his job. When his wife left him the year before, Nicole had been afraid hed never climb back from a pit-awful depression. She thought the absolute world of John, and if he really needed something, she knew shed go the long mile to come through for himbut John was like a brother, as comfortable to be with as an old shoe. Even if shed guzzled an entire winery worth of champagne, she simply could not imagine getting naked with him.
Rafe ambled by, carrying a fresh mug of coffee, and plunked down in front of a drafting board. Rafe was thirty-four, single like John, and originally Nicole almost hadnt hired him. He had the exact engineering background she was looking for, but between the dark hair, dark eyes, and husky muscular build, he was a cut-and-dried hunk. Shed worried those good looks could be asking for troublebut shed been wrong. Rafe could get impatient and tempermental with the rest of the staff, but he was smart and ambitious and unbeatably capable at his job.
Nicoles gaze lasered on his back for a second longer. Yeah, he was an eyeful. And anyones deprived hormones could be stirred up with alcohol. But unlike the rest of the team, Rafe never talked about his private lifehed openly admitted losing a job before because of mixing business and pleasure, and he felt adamant about never making that mistake again. Hed never told her an off-color joke, never looked at her sideways. Even if he were attracted, she couldnt imagine him initiating a pass. It was just impossible. It could never have happened.
Wilma streaked past, shuffling a sheath of papers, pausing only long enough to bounce a kiss on Johns balding crown. Wilma was twenty-eight, a brown-eyed brunette with a centerfold figure and the nature of an incurable flirt. She was openly affectionate with all the guys. Discussing the antics of her exuberant love life was a ritual over morning coffee. The boys inhaled every wild detail. Nicole had never tried to rein her in. Wilma managed the office and bookkeeping side of things and kept the whole place pumping.
And that left Mitch...the only staff member who Nicole couldnt see from the doorway, but she could hear him yell something to Rate with that distinctly whiskey baritone. Mitch was thirty-two, her own age. The guys called him Stretch because he was a lanky six feet three inches, with hair the color of sun-bleached sand and eyes bluer than sky. Sexy enough, if a womans taste ran to overtall bean-poleswhich Nicoles never personally had.
Mitch was the newest team member, shed only hired him six months ago. Originally Janice had been the groups architect, and shed done so well that her leaving for a job in New York had left a precarious hole. Nicole expected the employee search to be worrisome, and instead had a plum drop in her lap. Mitchs background surpassed even what Janice had offered them.
Ironically, hed rubbed Nicole personally wrong from the beginning, and she admitted it. Heck, so did hethey even joked about it together sometimes. The dam man had a gift for getting along with everyone. He was in his element with the mens men contractor types, yet he never lost patience with the creative design types on the team. From the start, hed leaped into touchy situations that had everyone else running for cover. The whole team loved him. Objectively, so did shethere was simply no explaining why they scraped against each others nerves. Nicole had quit fretting the why of it. She just gave Mitch an extra wide berth and let him do his job. Everyone was critical in a small business this size, but Mitch was damn near irreplaceable.
Even if he werent irreplaceableeven if there wasnt that strange prickly edginess between themthere was another reason why Nicole would never touch a hair on his head. More than once, hed mentioned a woman friend. A solid woman friend. Nicole had forgotten her nameSusan, maybe? Regardless, he was already involved. Nicole couldnt imagine any circumstance in the universe where shed poach on another womans territorywhich meant there was zero possibility of her sleeping with Mitch.
Abruptly she pressed a protective hand on her abdomen. Her stomach was increasingly queasy, her heart starting to gallop with anxiety. She simply had to try and calm down. Its not like all this thinking was getting her anywhere.
Every mental road led her to the same place. The only men in her life were the guys in the office. There was no occasion anything could have happened except the night of that Christmas party. But party or no party, champagne or no champagne, she simply would never have let anything happen with any of her guys. It went against her whole moral and character grain. And a woman didnt forget making love with a man, for heavens sake. And surely the man would have said something if anything like that had occurred. And shed wakened the morning after the party in her own bed, alone.
Nicole kept trying to add two and two, but the sum just refused to be four.
She couldnt be pregnant.
Yet she was.
Nicole? You have a free minute?
Mitch Landers had been waiting all afternoon for a chance to catch the boss in and alone. The envelope in his hand contained a letter of resignation. He had no illusions this was going to be an easy conversation, but hed postponed it for days. He needed a moment when the rest of the team were solidly occupied and the phone wasnt ringing and there was a chance of him catching some uninterrupted time with her. A quarter to five seemed his best shot. And Mitch had quit kidding himself that this didnt have to be done.
That was the plan. But she was standing at the window when he knocked, and the instant she heard his voice, she promptly spun around. And he saw her face. Sure, come on in. Whats the problem? The Llewellyn account?
No, nothing like that. I just need to talk to you about something, but...look, are you feeling okay?
She produced an instant smile, but it was as fake as a politicans promises. To tell you the truth, Ive had better afternoons, but Im fine, really, just a little distracted. Sit down, tell me what the problem is.
One look at her face, and Mitch knew his plan was going to hell in a handbasket. But he sat in one of her prissy blue office chairs and stretched out his long, lanky legs. Everything about her office always made him feel like an ox in a boudoir. Restlessly he batted the envelope on his knee, then just as restlessly pocketed it out of sight.
He couldnt tell whether his boss was sick, scared or somebody just killed her dog. But something was wrong. And for Nicole Stewart to look fragile as a cotton puff was so out of character that something had to be bad wrong.
It only took a second to catalog her features head to toebut at least this once, he had a judiciously altruistic motive. His pulse could rev from zero to sixty with a single glance at her, and had from the day they met. On the surface, nothing looked particularly different. Her silky cream blouse and mannish green suit were pretty typical office attire. Not much figure. On a scale of one to ten, the legs got a ten-plus, but the rest of the package maxed out at three. No boobs. No hips. She was built long on angles and short on curves...but the way she moved those angles had inspired his hormones to great feats of imagination from the beginningand would now, if the look on her face wasnt worrying him.
Her face had always been the killer. It started with a frame of vibrant auburn hair, chopped off at chin length with spiky bangs. Hed never seen it longer. About every four weeks, she zealously hit a stylist to ruthlessly tame the mop into a nice, sedate, businesswomans haircut. Waste of money, Mitch thought personally. Maybe you could beat the wicked out of a sinner, but nobody was gonna tame that thick, curly hair. It bounced around an oval face with all kinds of interesting lines. Sharp little nose. Chin with character. A slash of delicate cheekbones. A too-wide mouth that showed off gorgeous white teeth when she laughed, and could prim up into a straight line when she was seriouswhich was way too much of the time, as far as Mitch was concerned. But either way, the shape of those soft lips was always going to make a man wonder how she kissed.
Normally when he looked at her face, the way she moved, he saw sass. Spirit. Dont-mess-with-me-buster character. Maybe she was a five-foot-five-inch welterweight, but hed bet on her over a bruiser in a dark alley any day. She was a dirty infighter, something hed always admired in a woman. Her loyalty to the staff was legend. She always stepped in front of staff if there was an aggravating client or a touchy problem, always taking the heat, charging in whenever she smelled trouble. Sometimes too much so. When Nik was on a full-speed charge, she had a tough time backing down. Shed probably take on Goliathand God knew, losebut Mitch didnt doubt Goliath would suffer mightily first. Not from a punch. The blue silk walls in her office were a measure of her pure-female methods. She fought strictly girl fashion, almost never swore, rarely raised her voicebut if a guy crossed her, she went straight for the balls.
As far as Mitch had ever seen, she feared nothing. Which had always concerned and fascinated him bothhe didnt know her background, because she didnt talk. Not to staff. Not about personal things. But she had to learn to fight that way somewhere. She had guts, will, strength.
But dammit, not today. She was shook up about something. The only real splash of color in that face were her eyes. They were blue-gray, almond shape, too big for that small face. Normal women tattletaled every emotion they were feeling in their eyes. Not her. Her expression just went flat when she was blocking something, and she was good at blocking any damn thing she wanted to. That those eyes revealed panic and vulnerability at the moment made Mitch inclined to call 911 and not waste time hearing the explanation.
You said you wanted to talk about something, she prompted him again.
Yeah, but itll wait. Look, youre real pale. You sure youre okay? Did something happen this afternoon?
Yes. No. I...oh, God. She sank in the office chair behind her desk, and produced another light smile as if to reassure himbut that smile was as weak as watered-down scotch. Im fine. Its not your problem, Mitch. This just probably isnt a real good time to talk business, if its something thatll wait until morning.
He heard voices chattering from the outer office, drawers slamming, Wilmas throaty laughter. The staff was leaving for the day. So could he. She was obviously asking to be left alone. Only she really looked like a puff of wind could keel her overand if he left, thered be nobody in the office to even know she was in trouble.
I take it whatever happened was personal, not business.
Yes. Which is exactly what I meantits not your worry.
And you were gone for a couple hours this afternoon. Wheels start clicking in his head. You had a doc or dentist appointment? Heard some upsetting health news? Or something in a different direction, like your place was vandalized, or something happened to someone in your family?
Good grief. I didnt meant to give you the impression there was anything so dire. I was gone for a doctors appointment, thats all. Im fine, Im telling youor will be by tomorrow. Its just right at this minute, I admit Im not at my best
He received the m.y.o.b. message loud and clear. But her hands were shaky, her voice warbly and that priceless skin was too damn ghostly white. His boss wasnt always cool in a crisis, but hed never seen her near shambles. So whatd the doc say to upset you?
Mitch. This just isnt an appropriate conversation. There is absolutely nothing that should worry you or any of the team. Or the business.
Screw the business. We talking tumor, heart, cancer?
Holy spit. Nothing like that. As if his rapid-fire questions had finally nagged her over the edge, she blurted out, Im pregnant.
Pregnant.
He couldnt be the first man whod been stunned silent by that particular word, but these circumstances were a tad unusual. His heart quit beating altogether, then seemed to change its mind and start slamming nonstop at a racehorse pace. He wasnt positive he could budge from that blue silk chair if thered been a fire.
Damnation, Landers. I never meant to tell you that. Nicole never used his last name unless she was ticked off with himwhich, come to think of it, happened a couple times a week. But not for something like this. She pushed a hand through her hair in a gesture of impatience. Since I opened my big mouth, Im afraid Im stuck saying a little more. First, Id appreciate your not saying anything to the rest of the staff. It isnt a matter of keeping a secret. The pregnancy will be obvious before long. But I just found this out, and Id like some time to think about what Im going to do and how Im going to tell other people before being put on the spot.
Dont be silly. You tell me a confidence, Id take it to the grave. He wanted to say something more, but there seemed to be a lump in his throat about the size of Alaska. Not to mention that his heart was pounding so loud in his ears that he could barely think.
She pushed out of her chair again. Up down, up down, like a yo-yo. But he understood. When anxiety was chasing your tail, the inclination was to try and outrun it by staying in motion. She paced over to the window and stared down at the pounding surf below, then yanked the shades to block the view. Im afraid theres a little more to this. In this day and age, theres nothing that odd about a thirty-two-year-old woman choosing to have a baby without a husband in sight. I mean, a woman can choose the best time for her in terms of biology and health. Theres no stigma about being a single parent anymore. And If I could just sell that story to the staff, I dont think anyone would blink twice. Unfortunately, theres no possibility of my selling that fib. Because of the circumstances, the real truth is going to come out whether I want it to or not.
Youre saying theres some complication...like you dont want the baby?
Oh, I want the baby. Instinctively she pressed a hand on her heart. I didnt plan for this right now, and for sure I havent had two seconds to make plans about how Im going to cope. But the baby...Ill find a way. Whatever I have to do. It wasnt really finding out I was pregnant that threw me into shock. It was the shame.
Shame?
Again she sighed. Again she raked a hand through her hair, paced away from the window, and leaned back against her tall pecan credenza. Mitch, I shouldnt be telling you any of this.
He knew. She never admitted any private problem to the staff. She had an unbending code about what bosses should and shouldnt do around employeesand that had always applied doublefold to him. The lump in his throat seemed to be growing to the size of the Northwest Territories. She wasnt talking by choice, but because she was too shook up to hold it in. Just spill the rest of it. Youve gone this far. Get the rest off your chest.
She whispered, I dont know who the father is. How could there be a worse shame than that? And that isnt even the worst of it.
Through a mouth dryer than an abandoned well, Mitch said, So, okay. Lets hear the worst.
She gestured wildly with her hands. I dont remember. Sleeping with anyone. Its been years since I was involvedthe business took so much time to build up. I just didnt go out. And there were other reasons that I never... She clipped off that thought, and zoomed in another direction. The thing is, it had to have happened the night of the Christmas party. There was no other possible time.
The Christmas party, he echoed.
She seemed to assume something from his change in expression, because she swiftly nodded. Yes. I know. That means it was someone here. One of the team. Thats what I meant about not being able to liesomeone here unquestionably knows the truth. And on top of everything else, that it could be one of our team makes me guilty of sexual harassment
What? Hell, the woman kept lobbing grenades at him. He couldnt keep track what direction she was going to come from next.
Come on, Mitch. Im the employer. That puts me in a power position in terms of the lawand that really kills me, because I thought I was always so careful about that. But what it means is that I put one of the guys in a terrible position. Everythings my fault. I had no right...
Wait a minute, wait a minute The lump in his throat had grown to the size of a couple of continents now, but he had to get past it. She was beating herself up right and left.
But he couldnt get a word in. She was way too wound up to even acknowledge the interruption. ...and not being able to remember makes it so unforgivable. The problem was the champagneand I dont mean that like an excuse. There is no excuse for drinking when I know it goes straight to my head. But the champagne apparently fogged my memory. And thats one of the critical things I just dont know how to deal withcoming to work, facing you all, what I should say about the pregnancy when someone here obviously knows what happened. Youre going to laugh, but I thought it might be you. For two seconds.
Me?
I know. Really impossible. She rolled her eyes to the ceiling, at least for that second showing an honest spark of humor. You and I rub against each other like a snake and a mongoose. Maybe thats why I suddenly spilled all thisnot that I meant to vent on you, Mitchbut because I was so sure you have no interest in me that way. And thats one of the things thats confused me. Why the man never said anything. And no one has. All I can think is that he must really have felt put on the spot and regret that night really badly
Hey, I dont think you should just assume that. There could be all kinds of reasons why he kept quiet.
Well, whatever the reasons, I have to figure out who it is. She was back to pacing again, hips swinging, hands in constant motion. First I thought...John. Like out of kindness, because hes still having a rough time getting on his feet after that divorce. Maybe he turned to me and I just couldnt see a way to say no? Because of not wanting to be another woman who crushed his ego? But Ive thought and thought about that, and the truth is, I keep trying, but I just cant imagine kissing him, much less
The lump dissolved. He found his voice. Hey, you dont need to be thinking about John that way. In fact, forget John. Nicole
Well, I could forget John, but that leaves Rafe. Only Mitch, hes made such a point of never talking about his personal life. You know how Wilma flirts. He never bites. Hes just violent on not combining business with his private life, so if something happened with him, its really the worse kind of harassment. He could have been put in a position where he didnt feel he could say no because of his job. But he is an attractive man. Its not like I cant imagine any circumstance where
Forget Rafe. Forget imagining him that way, too. Nicole
Theres no point in my considering Wilma, because she couldnt have gotten me pregnant, she said with another dry attempt at humor. I have to know who it is. And its so frustrating that I cant remember. Somehow I have to make this right for the man involved, but I dont even know how to start. Im just so ashamed and disgusted with myself that I could have put someone in this position. I care about all of you. This is just so wrong. Wrong of me
Nicole, Mitch said for the third timethis time loud enough to wake the dead, which was what it seemed to take to catch her attention.
What?
You can quit thinking about the other guys in that context. It wasnt any of them. It was me. Im the father of your baby.
Two
Oh, no! You couldnt be the father, Mitch! You just couldnt be!
Mitch didnt wince, but he wanted to. Although Nik might not appreciate it, his mind was racing from shock, no different than hers. Obviously he was aware theyd taken a risk the night they made love, but thered been no tip that night had repercussions until this instant. That she seemed stunned at his admitting paternity was bad enough, but she also threw herself in her office chair as if she lacked the strength to face such appalling news.
At thirty-two, naturally Mitch had taken a few slices in his masculine egobut nothing that knifed his male esteem quite so fast or lethally.
Way, way backin the era before Nicole had upended his entire lifehe vaguely remembered a pleasant historical time when women actually liked him. One even told him he was a creatively inspired lover. Several had chased him downright ruthlessly. Amazing as it seemed now, hed never had a complaint about his prowess or talent between the sheets. Until Nik, no woman had ever felt obligated to completely block all memory of sleeping with him. And until now, hed never taken up with a woman who looked aghast at the idea of him in her bed.
Any second now, Mitch figured the letter of resignation burning a hole in his pocket would strike his sense of irony. Quitting was obviously out of the question now. A baby in the picture changed everything.
Only it was hard to imagine how an impossible situation could possibly have become even more disastrous. Mitch had learned the hard, bloody way that he had a problem with tenacity. Sensible people turned off when they saw a dead-end road sign. Not him. If there was something he wanted or valued, he stubbornly persisted in charging forward long past the hopeless point. He hated giving up on anything. But this afternoon, he thought hed finally gotten smarter and was doing the rational, practical thing by resigning. Getting out of her life. Removing himself from the hopeless temptation of Nicole altogether.
Only this afternoon wasnt going precisely like he planned. Under any other circumstances, that would have been great news. He never wanted to get out of her life. He never wanted to quit a job he loved. Hell, as soon as he recovered from the life-threatening shock that hed fathered a child, he was likely gonna spin high on the baby news, too. Unfortunately, one teensy small detail hadnt changed from the original core problem.
Nicole still couldnt see him for dust.
And she was still facing him with that aghast expression.
Mitch...it just couldnt have been you. The two of us just couldnt have slept together. I mean, for one thing, I know theres already a woman in your life, a Suzanne or Susan or something
Bewilderment furrowed his brow. For a moment he was completely confounded how Suz could have possibly entered this conversationbut that didnt stop him from immediately correcting her misconception. Whoatheres no one in my life. Nor would anything have happened between us if someone else had been in the wings. If Im involved, I believe in doing the loyal-as-a-hound routine. No exceptions. I cant imagine how you even heard Suzs name?
From Wilma. Im positive she said
Aw, hell. Finally it clicked how shed made the association. Yeah, well...before I moved and took the job here, there was a Suz. And when I was first hired on, Wilma came on pretty strong. I didnt know then that flirting was a life-style with her. I didnt want to hurt her feelings, and didnt want to start a new job with an awkward situation, so I made some comment about there being a Suz in my life. Good grief, I never even thought about it again. It was just a chance comment at the time. It never occurred to me that shed spread the word or that anyone else had made anything of it.
That didnt stop her from sputtering. But Mitch, it still couldnt have been you.
A billion women on the planet, and he had to fall for the one who used his masculine ego for machete practice? Trust me. It was.
But I always thought you didnt even like me
Um, Nik, thats not remotely true.
Instead of that comment reassuring her, it seemed to cause more mental wheels to spin in her mind. She seemed to sink even deeper in that office chair. A flush of guilt splashed her cheeks with color. Oh, God. Look, I have to face this, so I just you want you to be honest with me. What did I do? Throw myself at you at that party? Put you in a position where you couldnt say no because I was the boss?
Nicole, thats not at all how it happened.
Then how did it happen? And why didnt you ever say anything to me long before this?
Mitch rubbed an exasperated hand at the back of his neck. For almost three months, hed have given gold for those questions to come up. Hed had to battle every grain in his character to shut up, when his nature was to charge into a problem and confront it head-on. It was only for her sakeeverthat hed been silent.
Now, though, blurting out the plain truth wasnt that simple. He was painfully conscious that how he handled the situation could either open doorsfor her, for him, for the two of themor permanently close them. Somehow, he had to buy himself some thinking time.
Slowly he stood up. Im not ducking those questions, NikI want to answer them. But its after hours. You look beat. And I dont think the office is the best place to discuss this. Im guessing youd like to go home, put your feet up, get a chance to catch your breath. How about if I pick up some Chineseor whatever you feel like for dinnerand we meet up at your place?
I dont know... She started shaking her head.
I understandyou just had all this sprung on you. And I dont want you to feel put on the spot. About anything. But before you start making plans about the baby, I think you need to know what happened that night. Im part of this, too...and it doesnt matter to me whether we talk at my place or yours, but I assume youd be more comfortable on your turf.
She agreednot, Mitch suspected, because she willingly wanted more time with him, but because she really, really wanted to know what happened that night. After that, they both went in motion. She locked the office; he called ahead to order dinner, and they separated in the parking lot. A half hour later, hed picked up the Chinese takeout and was swinging his red Miata into her drive.
Juggling the overfull bag of Chinese food cartons, he climbed out of the car and hip-slammed the door with his gaze riveted on her house. Hed only seen it oncethe night of the Christmas party. And one look was all it took for him to recall that night in Technicolor and surround-sound detail... but remembering his redhead naked and her warm, willing body and those lethally vulnerable eyes of hers was trouble. At the time, he thought he was waking up Sleeping Beauty. In fact, he could have sworn that was exactly what happened...except that the princess failing to remember a damn thing had totally screwed up the end on the fairy tale.
But the question was what to do now. He stood a moment longer, studying her place, willing answers about Nicole to come to him from her choice of home.
Nik picked up clients from the spray of Oregon tourist towns up and down the coastFlorence and Newport and Reedsportbut her property was between those splashes of civilization, off the beaten path. Once upon a time, it had probably been someones summer beach house. The outside was ramshackle, but ramshackle with character. The house was two sturdy stories, with clapboard siding that showed off years of weathering winds. A wraparound porch circled the bottom story, where balconies jutted off bedrooms on the second floor. The yard was an overgrown garden of willowy ornamental grasses like sea oats and sweet grass, a shade spot created by a gnarled old cypress tree. The steps leading down to the bluff edge of the sea were beat-up boards.
Maybe an artist had built the place, because it had that bohemian I - dont - give - a - damn - what - anyone - else - thinks kind of character. And the first time Mitch saw it, hed fallen in love. It seemed so right for Nik. The house capsulized the secret romantic and wild free spirit hed always sensed in her.
In the office, she was so contained. Right from the start, her quicksilver mind had ransomed his heart, but she was a different woman at work, always worrying about doing the right thing, behaving the right way with the team. There was no reason she couldnt laugh and loosen upexcept in her own mindbut from the day he met her, he wondered where shed learned all that control, what life lessons had taught her all that worry. Hed seen loneliness in her eyes. Hed seen her start to laugh, then cut it off. Hed seen her passionate zest for life a million times when she was brainstorming ideas, but that exuberance got clipped with ruthless scissors around people. Her choice of house reflected both the mystery and challenge that Mitch had always seen in Nik. There was a warm, sensual life-lover under the surfaceif the right lover could just coax her to set it free.
Once upon a time, hed even been arrogant enough to think that lover could be him.
The screen door suddenly clapped open. Mitch? I thought I heard your car. Come on in.
He didnt want to go in. Given a choice, what he really wanted to do was drop the food, grab her, and try kissing her senseless. Just looking at her had always made his hormones stand up and bay like a mournful, lonesome hound, and right now she was damn well breathtaking. A west wind had scuttled away the afternoons blustery clouds, and the evening was turning clear as glass. Her hair caught the sunset flame, made her skin glow with a sensual, soft, pearl luminescence.
Still, he cut the juice on the electric charge in his pulse. Kissing her senseless might be an inspiring idea but could too easily end up a disastrous one. And as he hiked toward the house, he discovered they had a new and interesting problem. Youd better be hungry. I brought enough Chinese to feed a platoon.
I can see that, she said wryly. Swiftly she took the food cartons when he stepped in, but her eyes flashed on his face and then skittered away. Nik wasnt a skitterer. Shed take on a tiger and not look back for something she wanted to win. So, he mused, shed done some thinking. And maybe she didnt remember that night, but it was pretty obvious she was suddenly aware of him in a whole different way. Hed metamorphosed from a nice, safe, tame employee into an unknown quantity of lover.
He liked those nerves. It evened things up. Hed suffered sexual tension all these months alone, when God knew he was more than willing to share. Of course, unanswered questions suddenly hung in the air between them like grenades, but Mitch figured one thing at a time. If you tell me where the plates are, Ill help put the dinner on, he offered.
You dont have to help. It wont take me a second. Can I get you a drink first?
Yeah, waterwhich Ill get for myself. I didnt suggest dinner so you could wait on me, Nik. The idea was to give you a chance to relax.
That plan worked on a par with peace talks in the Middle East. They settled in her blue-tiled kitchen. He watched her poke at her egg roll, fork down a little sweet and sour shrimp, sample some of the war sui gui. Mostly she gulped water and charged down conversational roads like religion and politicsgutsy stuff to argue about, but nothing remotely related to anything on either of their minds.
Mitch didnt mind her stalling; he thought she needed the unwind time. But typically Nik never cut herself any slack, and as if she realized how long shed been chitchatting, she suddenly set down her fork. Were not getting it done, she said impatiently.
Getting what done?
Both of us are avoiding the subject of babies like itd bite us. And its my fault. Its not that I dont want to talk about it. I do. But somehow I cant figure out what to say, how to start...
Theres nothing to be blaming yourself for. Youre uncomfortable with me
No, of course not. Weve worked together for months, for heavens sakes. Even when we dont see eye to eye, we trade insults and bicker like old friends. Weve never really had a problem talking together.
But there was a difference, Mitch thought, and that difference was her thinking of him as a lover instead of an employee. He pushed back his chair. Look, how about if we try getting out of the house, take a walk on the beach?
Her eyes immediately brightened. Yeah. Fresh air sounds good. But then she glanced down at her business suit.
Ill do the dishes. Thatll give you a chance to change into something warmer and more comfortable than work clothes.
You dont have to do the dishes
Its nothing, Nik. Go on.
She hesitated, but then said okay and disappeared upstairs to change. Mitch leveled the dishes in two minutes flat, then wandered into her living room. The night of the Christmas party, the inside of her house had fascinated him as much as the outsidebut for entirely different reasons.
The open staircase led to three bedrooms and two baths on the second story. Downstairs, the front door opened onto a massive living area with big bay windows overlooking the ocean bluff. The blue-tiled kitchen was chunked down in the middle, leading down two steps to a dining and sunroom that both faced east. Tucked on like an afterthought was a small wing that contained an office study and bathroom.
The layout was fineit was the decor that confounded Mitch. At work, he and Nik were a natural team. With his architectural background, he was at home with beams and studs, where she was the pro at color and style and all that female stuff. Hell, shed built up a thriving business from scratch because her perception was so sharp. Meet a client and right off she tuned into the individuals personality and all the internal decor ingredients that worked for that person. Get her going on the Feng Shui concepts about balance and harmony and it was tough to shut her up.
Yet the decor in her own place was perplexingly horrible. He wandered around, hands in his pockets, just looking. Shed obviously put time and money into it, but the decorating style was stark minimalistunrelenting neutrals, taupe carpet, taupe couches, taupe walls. A pale oak table displayed coffee-table art books. Appropriate, pricey pictures hung on the walls. Nobody could criticize a single furnishing. It was all textbook perfect. Theyd had clients whod probably orgasm to achieve the same look, but they werent Nik. There were no splashes of colors, no hint of her vibrant creativity or independent spirit.
The living roomthe whole inside decormade him think of a trapped soul. He saw that side of her at work, too. Nik was always proper, hyper about doing the right thing, no bending on standards. Gutsy in her business, but sleeping through life. Restlessly Mitch jingled the change in his pocket, thinking that if he hadnt glimpsed the other side of Nik, hed never have this damn fool convoluted problem of being gut-deep in love with her.
But he bad. Memories stirred of another room in her housethe only room where she hadnt bleached out every stamp of her personality. Her bedroom. He remembered all of it. The thick, soft rose carpeting. The antique sleigh bed. The old-fashioned dressing table with a needlepoint seat, pearls dripping from a crystal bowl, vials of perfume and cosmetic pots and a cloisonn dish heaped with earrings.
The room reflected the Nik hed always sensed under the surface, exuberantly female, a free-flow of rich textures and sensual colors. But it wasnt the furnishings in that bedroom that had kidnapped a niche on his soul the night of the Christmas party. It was Sleeping Beauty coming awake in his arms, coming alive, the rigidly careful Nik forgetting all that control in the dark...but abruptly Mitch heard footsteps.
He spun around to see Nicole bounding down the stairs, dressed in skinny jeans and old sneakers and a voluminous threadbare black sweatshirt.
Ill be damned, he murmured. Whod have guessed youd own anything with a frayed collar? Im impressed.
No teasing allowed. Its a sacred sweatshirt, she said dryly.
I understand. Ive got a sacred tee from college basketball days. When my dad got sick a few years ago, I showed up in the hospital wearing that tee. My mom was disgusted. I didnt care. I wanted luck for my dad any way I could get it.
A flash of a smile in her eyes, but then she cocked her head. Your dads okay now?
Fit as a fiddle. You ready to head out?
I am...but Im not sure this is such a great idea. Youre still stuck wearing your shoes from work. Im afraid theyll get wrecked on the beach. And its coldI could loan you a jacket, but I cant imagine having anything of mine thatd fit.
Mitch figured itd be an uphill job to teach her some selfishness. Typically she was worried about himeven under the circumstancesrather than thinking of herself. But she was also a good head shorter than his six-three. Imagining how hed fit in anything of hers made him grin. These loafers have seen sand before. And Ive got a fleece jacket in the car Ill grab when we go out.
Okay, then. Lets hit it.
Outside, the sky had darkened to a deep velvet-blue, the moon just rising to light their way. He fetched his fleece jacket and zipped up, feeling the sharp salt air suck in his lungs, fresh and invigorating. Pale stars illuminated their climb down to the beach from the board steps. The surf was sleepy at high tide. Foam sneaked up the sand, leaving a lacy collar of froth in its wake. Common to this stretch of Oregons coast, giant rocks jutted from the water, plunked down like mythical black sculptures of all shapes and sizes. In the darkness they looked like a giants play toys.
He let Nicole set the walking pace, which naturally for her was a full-speed charge. They hiked in silence for a bit, both of them savoring the magic of the sea, the night, the fresh air. Striding next to her, he was conscious of his height and her smallness, conscious of how the worn jeans showed off her fanny and long slim legs, conscious that she stole looks at his face...and conscious that no matter how good walking with her felt, it wasnt getting their talking done.
I moved here from Seattle, he said finally.
I know. I remember from your job application. You were one of the architects for a firm named Stricklands.
I was an architect there, yes. But what I didnt mention on the ap was that I owned the firm.
She tilted her face, her eyebrows arched in question. Why didnt you say so at the time?
Because when I started job huntingfor the work I wantedI got a steady round of turndowns. On paper, I looked overpriced and overqualified. I had no way to make anyone believe from a rsum that the work I was applying for was what I really wanted to do.
Obviously theres more to that story, she prodded him.
Yeah, there is. He picked up a flat stone, and tried skimming it. Three hops before it sank. He was out of practice. I come from a long line of overachievers. My dad, mom, two brotherseveryones good with money, carved out a successful place in the business world. My dad used to say I had the strongest bent for turning a dime into a dollarwhich he was proud of me for. I started investing when I was 14, had enough of a nest-egg to buy Stricklands when I was 24. Of course the business was facing a Chapter Eleven, so anyone could have picked it up for a lick and a song. I was just so young and dumb I didnt know what I was getting into. As it happened, though, by the time I sold it two years ago, the company had grown from a handful of employees to a staff of sixty and we were making money hand over fist.
This was a problem? she asked wryly.
For me, it was. I couldnt control it. The drive. I wasmaybecatching four hours sleep a night. Had an ulcer that didnt want to heal. Lost a woman I really cared for because I neglected her and the relationship both. And the real bug was, my degree was in architecture but all I was doing was management. Maybe I had a talent for the money side of things, but that wasnt the point. I hated it. I got into architecture because my dream was to build, to create, to make things. I like studs and beams and fighting with contractors, not paperwork. But because the business was going so well, it was hard for me to see it was a personal dead-end road. I was running my life by my familys expectationstrying to be someone Im not. And getting nothing done that really mattered to me.
For an instant her eyes glinted with a curious light. I know what thats liketrying to meet family expectations that dont fit you any better than a round peg in a square hole. But anyway, you said you sold the business...
Yeah. And for a while I didnt work. I bought a house here, got a boat, did some fishing and hiking and mountain climbing. I cant say I needed the break so much. But I needed time to be more sure of myself, sure I wouldnt get sucked into the family expectation thing again, sure about what I really wanted to do. And when I felt I had my ducks in a row, I sent out rsumsand took the job with you.
She hesitated. I cant believe I didnt guess your background long before this. You and I always bucked heads at work. Now, that makes more sense. Youre used to taking charge. You jump in to fix things. And when you do it better than me, it gets my dander up every time.
If you think that our bucking heads was about a power struggle, Im telling you no. I dont want your job, Nik. Never did. Personally I think that edginess between us comes from an entirely different source.
What?
He thought the chemistry between them caused enough sexual friction to spontaneously combust a forest fire or two. But just then, he didnt think Nicole was real open to hearing that. We can talk about that another time. The reason I brought up all this stuff about my background was to prod your memory. Because I havent told you one thing you didnt already know about me.
She stopped dead, her expression a mirror of confusion. No, I didnt
Yeah, you did. We talked about it the night of the Christmas party. Maybe until that moment, hed never completely believed her about not remembering. But he could see her swallow, see the way her eyes darted nervously to his face. Nik just wouldnt be revealing that kind of vulnerabilityor fearif shed recalled what happened. Slowly he said, The others left just after midnight. I would have, too, only you and I started talking. Both of us. Not just me. You told me a bunch of personal things about yourself no different than
Oh God. Whatd I say?
Shed told him no deep dark secrets. Mitch only wished she had. If he understood better what made her tick, hed feel a lot more secure knowing how to handle this whole situation now. You never said anything you need to worry about. Im just trying to tell you how that night played out. Id had a fair amount of champagne. So had you. I never planned to end up in your bed, Nikhell, Id have brought protection if Id ever thought there was even a remote chance of that. We just started talking. And youd never really talked with me before, not deep-type talk, and one kind of closeness led to another. I knew wed been drinking, but I honestly didnt think either of us had that much. As far as I understood, we were both fully aware of making a choice.
Edgily she picked up a flat stone, skimmed it like he had. Hers bounced six times, which she didnt even stop to appreciate. She was already looking at him again. Mitch, it never crossed my mind to blame you. I already figured it was my fault.
Frustration clawed through his pulse. Hed wanted her to understand that hed never been a predatory wolf in the story, preying on a vulnerable woman whod maybe sipped a little too much champagne. But hed never intended to cop out on responsibility or for her to heap guilt on her own shoulders either. Nicole, listen to me. Get that idea out of your mind. It wasnt about fault. It was an unforgettable night. You were...incredible. Warm, giving, uninhibited. Wild. You went straight to my head. Champagne had nothing to do with it.
Three
Hopefully Mitch couldnt see the flush burning her cheeks in the darkness, but for that instant, Nicole couldnt have answered him if her life depended on it. Wild? Surely he had her confused with another woman. Warm, uninhibited, incredible? She had no idea who he was describing, but it couldnt possibly be her.
Her arms were already wrapped around her ribs, but she tucked them even tighter. For years shed had her life on a clear track. She only colored between the lines. She obeyed the rules. Shed even decorated her house to express exactly the kind of woman she wasfussily neat, proper, on the formal side. She wasnt remotely related to the selfish, irresponsible teenager shed once been. Champagne or no champagne, she just couldnt imagine throwing all that hard-won caution to the winds and being the kind of passionate cookie Mitch was describing.
She wasnt passionate.
She wasnt even an emotional woman. Actually, there were moments she thought she was turning into a downright tedious prigbut that was way better than flying through life barreling into impulsive, disastrous mistakes the way she used to.
The tide whooshed in and foamed around her feet, seeping into her sneakers. The water was icy, yet she didnt move, fiercely willing the cold to shock her mind into remembering that darn night. Only nothing came. The night was a complete blank slateexcept for the parts hed filled in.
She stole a glance at Mitch, then quickly looked away. This was horrible. Suddenly she couldnt look at him without thinking about sex. Shed never thought of him that way, not just because he was an employee, but because he was a blond beanpole. If a guy caught her eye, he invariably had darker coloring and some meat on his bones. Mitch was about five miles tall and all of it skinny.
Only now she kept noticing that there was nothing skinny about the breadth of his shoulders. And his basket-ball-player height made her think of an athletes rhythm and stamina. And once she thought back, hed just never looked at her with those sky-blue eyes in a nice, innocuous, friendly way. It was always there. That gender edginess. She just never forgot for an instant that she was female, not around Mitch, and now all those little details were adding up to drive her crazy. Shed have given gold for even fragments of memory from the night of the Christmas party, yet that corner of her mind seemed as locked as a bank vault.
Mitch, she blurted out, if it all happened that way, why didnt you ever say anything to me long before this?
Believe me, I wanted to. But everything after that started getting complicated. To begin with, I left in the morning while you were still sleeping. The last thing I wanted to do was leave you, but youd told me there were cleaning people coming first thing in the morning to clear up after the party. And I just didnt think youd be comfortable, people coming in, a man in your house that way....
I wouldnt have been, she admitted.
And I called you later that day. But right off, you brought up business, a problem with a client wed been having...which was fine...except that it seemed real obvious to me you were deliberately avoiding any mention of our night together.
I wasnt deliberately avoiding anything, I swear! I honestly didnt remember.
He nodded. So youre telling me now. But it never occurred to me that you didnt remember then. I had no reason to know that, no reason to guess that. I assumed you knew, and that your ducking any mention of it was a choice. You closed up like a clam, and I was struggling to understand why. I knew perfectly well that you always had a hyper thing about not getting personally involved with the people who worked for you
Because it risks sexual harassment. Any boss is in a power position whether she wants to be or not. It just makes any personal relationship wrong
Nik, I know all the laws, he said impatiently. And I always respected you for being so carefulbut none of that applied to you and me. Id told you about my background. I dont need the job. Not financially or in any other sense. You have no power over me like in a regular employer /employee situation. And since wed talked about that, I figured that wasnt the problem. It had to be something else. The only conclusion I could draw was that our making love had upset you, and you needed some time to think about it. So I shut up, too. As I saw it, that was what you wanted. And my feeling was just...to wait. Keep working together. See how you felt as time passed. I didnt want to push or pressure you into something you didnt want or werent ready for. But...
But? she echoed when he didnt immediately finish his comment.
He stopped, with the moonlit surf behind him, making his hair looked brushed with silver and the strong, angular bones in his face appear carved in stone. Only his eyes looked liquid, and his gaze focused on her face with the intensity of a caress. But I also thought you knew, Nik. How incredible that night was. What kind of chemistry wed created together. To be honest, I wasnt thinking about the risk of babies. I was thinking that youd been scared off by another kind of risk entirelythe way wed come together like thunder and lightning. Because I never expected that kind of passionate explosion between us either.
Her throat went bone dry. So they were back to sex again. And not just sex, but incredible sex. How the evening had unfolded, why hed stayed quiet later, thinking it was for her sakeshe believed Mitch completely about those parts of the story. She trusted his integrity. Hed proven it a hundred times at work. Heaven knew, he could be tactful with a client, but he was the first one to leap in with sharp, blunt honesty when the going got rough. And truth to tell, she could easily imagine Mitch creating thunder and lightning as a lover. It was her. Being hot like that. Sexy like that. Nothing like he described had ever happened to her.
Possibly shed chosen to be celibate for a blue moon, but she was no virgin. Her first forays into sexuality, though, all stemmed from the era when shed been rebellious, reckless and painfully young. She hadnt known what she was doing, any more than the boys shed experimented with. Whatever sensuality was in her nature...it wasnt a matter of hiding it. She always wanted to explore that with the right man. But shed had mistakes to bury and atone for and fix, and it had taken every ounce of her time to make a new life for herself. Shed put her hormones up in a mental attic.
Or she thought she had.
Am I making you uncomfortable, talking about this? he asked her.
It doesnt matter whether Im uncomfortable or not. I needed to know the truth. But now she could barely look at him without feeling heat climb her throat in a heart-slamming rush.
Yeah, I agree. Knowing what happened is a critical ingredient to your deciding what you want to do next. And thats what we got together to talk about, isnt it?
Sex? Tarnation. Doubtless the word slipped out because it was in block letters at the tip of her mind.
But Mitch responded with a slow teasing grin. It was obviously beyond him to be a gentleman and let the slip pass. Hey, Im always up for talking about sex...but I was pretty sure what you wanted to discuss was babies.
Of course I want to talk about babies, Nicole rapidly assured him. The baby is the only subject on my mind. Completely. Totally.
Now, dont start getting nervous again
Im not nervous, she immediately denied...but she was. Once the blasted man had put pictures of their making love in her mind, it was harder to get them out than rousting a stubborn sliver. There were a dozen dead serious concerns troubling her, yet her thoughts kept straying down sexual fantasy roads with him playing the lead. She was appalled at herself, but even a brickload of guilt couldnt seem to dig out that sliver.
Okay, youre not nervous, he said gently. But, um, before you charge down the beach for another mile at the same breakneck pace...weve really hiked a long way? And youve had a tiring day. Dont you think its about time to turn around and head back?
She turned around. Promptly. And because shed mastered the fine art of proper behavior, she didnt smack him. There wasnt an ounce of sarcasm in his voice, but that was exactly why the thought of punching him was so tempting. He could get sharp with other people. With her, he used that low, whiskey-gentle voiceeven when she was wrong. Hells bells, especially when she was wrong. It was just infuriating. I was just going to suggest that we turn around.
Im sure you were, he agreed. And in the meantime... we may have covered how we got in this predicamentbut not what either of us wants to do about it. And I have an idea on the subject of babies Id like you to consider.
What?
The old traditional one that couples have been trying since the beginning of time when a pregnancy showed up unexpectedlymarriage.
For the first time all day she relaxed. A chuckle bubbled from her throat and emerged in a peal of laughter. Nothing was funny about her situation, nothing humorous in this whole encounter with Mitch. But her nerves had been strung so tight, and his joke just hit her as natural comic relief. Thanks, Sir Galahad. That was sweet.
Uh, Nik? I wasnt being sweet. It was a serious of fer.
Her laughter died, but not her smile. Come on, I know you dont mean it. Were not living in the dark ages. Nobody has to get married anymore. Women alone are raising kids all over the place.
So...theres no question in your mind about having this child? he asked swiftly. I know you said earlier that you wanted the baby. But that was also just a few short minutes after you found out you were pregnant.
She sobered quickly then. Are you asking me whether I changed my mind, might be thinking about an abortion?
Yeah, thats what Im asking.
She slugged her hands in the back pockets of her jeans. If I were sixteen, or ill, or I knew something was wrong with the baby...I dont know what Id do, she said with careful honesty. But my circumstances are nothing like that Maybe I wasnt expecting the news of a pregnancy at this exact moment in time...but I always wanted children. I couldnt be more at an ideal healthy age to have a baby. I can financially support one. And yes, I want him...or her. I just havent had time to do all the thinking or planning about how Im going to cope with things yet.
Okay. Mitch released a pent-up sigh, as if he really hadnt been sure how she was going to answer that question. But youre going to be trying to juggle a pregnancy and work. And then a new baby and work.
I know that
And Im in this picture, Nik. Not just because I want to be a fatherand an active, involved father. But because I know your business. Theres no one else whos in an equally good position to help you through this. I can deal with work decisions when you cant. I can make it possible for you to juggle your personal schedule any way you need it juggled.
She fell silent. Those things were undeniably true. She hadnt thought about Mitch in a role as father, or his rights as a dador how to make any of that work. She also hadnt meant to be so insensitive as to only be thinking of herself and the baby as only her problem.
Im also concerned about the side ways this could affect your work and the business. Like you said, a woman could choose to have a kid on her own today. But thats in theory, and lifes never quite so nice as theory. Theres bound to be buzz about your getting knocked up, getting involved with a guy who wouldnt step up. So maybe most people would be okay with it. But youve got some conservative clients. And youve worked hard to build a respectable, responsible reputation.
I hear you. But Im not afraid of taking any heat
Nik, Im sure youre not. And I never did give a damn what people thought. But Im a saying a ring on your finger would make sure those problems never happened.
She shoved a hand through her hair. This was exactly how Mitch was at work. When the team started arguingand creative people were notorious for getting their egos confused with their opinionsMitch rarely raised his voice, just quietly, firmly, kept spilling out practical, sensible angles on a problem. A woman could actually start believing that a marriage between strangers made sensewhen she knew perfectly well it didnt
And a ring on your finger would give the baby a name. People dont label a kid bastard any more, thank God, but I still think a name matters. I cant believe your parents and family wouldnt have something to say about your having a baby out of wedlockat least if being married were a choice.
She swallowed. Hard. Mitch couldnt know he was ripping the scab off some real old scars with that comment. For years now, shed been trying to rebuild a relationship with her parents. The estrangement had been caused by her irresponsible teenage behavior entirelyand in their shoes, Nicole wouldnt have been any quicker to forgive. But shed hoped that time would prove to them that shed changed, and those hurts would eventually heal if she persisted in living a decent, respectable life. To announce an unwed pregnancy could well close those doors all over again. Because it was exactly the kind of disappointment in character and morals they were surely expecting from her.
Still. Trying to correct a wrong by doing something disastrously more wrong was never a solution. Every problem youre pointing out is very real, but I just cant believe you mean it. We cant possibly get married, Landers! Come on, its just crazy. We dont even know each other!
Youve known me for months.
Thats not the same kind of knowing! For Petes sake, we cant even get through a staff meeting without bickering and friction most of the time.
It never occurred to you that there might be an interesting reason we always caused so much friction together?
She halted in her tracks. What are you trying to say? That sexual chemistry caused that friction?
Yeah, I do. Now. Originally I just thought we had a little personality clash...but the night of the Christmas party damn well forced me to notice there was evidence in another direction entirely. I think we had liquid oxygen between us all along. We just didnt know it until someone lit a match.
Well, the damn man flustered her all over again. She couldnt deny what she couldnt remember. Chemistry or no chemistry...you just cant be serious, Mitch. Knights dont charge in to rescue ladies in trouble any more. Im not in trouble. Neither are you. Not only do neither of us have to get married, but in a thousand years I cant imagine your wanting to get hooked up with me.
No?
No, she sputtered. Of course not. I mean, look at us. Your office looks like a marine bivouac, sports stuff and guy-type messes all over the place. Im a neatnik, an order lover. You think I dont know the whole staff thinks Im prissy? A pain-in-the-behind stickler for the rules? You couldnt possibly want to be married to me. Wed drive each other crazy in half a dayassuming we lasted that long.
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