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Loving A Lonesome Cowboy
Loving A Lonesome Cowboy
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Loving A Lonesome Cowboy
Debbi Rawlins
A man with an empty houseA woman in need of shelterWidowed rancher Ethan Slade had retreated from society to live in a shack on his vast property. But with his nieces coming for a holiday, he had to open the ranch housea place he hadn't set foot in for years. Where, in two short days, could he find someone to make a house a home?Stranded and desperate to provide for her child, Sara Conroy was thankful for the job. And though the strong, silent man who'd hired her should have made her wary, the sadness in his eyes spoke of pain she yearned to heal. She had two days to convince Ethan to let them staytwo days to open his lonely heart to love.


Ethan stood on the front porch of the house to which hed swore hed never return.
Sara opened the door. Her lips curved in a shy smile. She stepped aside, and he had to force his feet over the threshold.
Well, what do you think?
Ethan slowly scanned the sparkling clean room. I, uh, its fine, Sara. The place looks real nice. Clearing his throat, he moved back a step. I think Ill just go
Youre leaving?
The disappointment in her voice sent a flush of pleasure through him. Actually, I was just going to get something from my truck.
She smiled.
Ethan headed out the door, calling himself every kind of a dumb jerk. He didnt even like petite, fair-haired women. So why was he getting all tongue-tied and weak-kneed?
He was getting worked up over nothing. Of course he would have a reaction to a woman. He hadnt had female company in a mighty long time. By his own choice, he reminded himself. And he wanted to keep it that way.
But he couldnt, if Sara kept smiling at him.
Dear Reader,
Happy New Year! May this year bring you happiness, good health and all that you wish for. And at Harlequin American Romance, were hoping to provide you with a year full of heartwarming books that you wont be able to resist.
Leading the month is The Secretary Gets Her Man by Mindy Neff, Harlequin American Romances spin-off to Harlequin Intrigues TEXAS CONFIDENTIAL continuity series. This exciting story focuses on the covert operations much-mentioned wallflower secretary, Penny Archer.
Muriel Jensens Father Formula continues her successful WHOS THE DADDY? series about three identical sisters who cause three handsome bachelors no end of trouble when they discover one woman is about to become a mother. Next, after opening an heirloom hope chest, a bride-to-be suddenly cancels her wedding and starts having intimate dreams about a handsome stranger, in Have Gown, Need Groom. This is the first book of Rita Herrons new miniseries THE HARTWELL HOPE CHESTS. And Debbi Rawlins tells the emotional story of a reclusive rancher who opens his homeand his heartto a lovely single mother, in Loving a Lonesome Cowboy.
In February, look for another installment in the RETURN TO TYLER series with Prescription for Seduction by Darlene Scalera.
Wishing you happy reading,
Melissa Jeglinski
Associate Senior Editor
Harlequin American Romance
Loving a Lonesome Cowboy
Debbi Rawlins


www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Debbi Rawlins currently lives with her husband and dog in Las Vegas, Nevada. A native of Hawaii, she married on Maui and has since lived in Cincinnati, Chicago, Tulsa, Houston, Detroit and Durham, NC, during the past twenty years. Now that shes had enough of the gypsy life, itll take a crane, a bulldozer and a forklift to get her out of her new home. Good thing she doesnt like to gamble. Except maybe on romance.
Books by Debbi Rawlins
HARLEQUIN AMERICAN ROMANCE
580MARRIAGE INCORPORATED
618THE COWBOY AND THE CENTERFOLD
622THE OUTLAW AND THE CITY SLICKER
675LOVE, MARRIAGE AND OTHER CALAMITIES
691MARRY ME, BABY
730THE BRIDE TO BEOR NOT TO BE
741IF WISHES WEREHUSBANDS
780STUD FOR HIRE?
790OVERNIGHT FATHER
808HIS, HERS AND THEIRS
860LOVING A LONESOME COWBOY
HARLEQUIN INTRIGUE
587HER MYSTERIOUS STRANGER
SINGLE MOTHER SEEKS
Job as a housekeeper. I will clean your house till it shines and cook meals guaranteed to make you sigh. If you have children, I can even charm them into behaving for you. (At least, Ill try!)
Please call Sara Conroy, at 555-2725.
And if you happen to be a brooding-but-oh-so-handsome cowboy, I might just find my way into your heart.

Contents
Chapter One (#u74d221c9-37f0-565c-9a9e-5e87453de473)
Chapter Two (#ube9ce7ce-5b89-50a8-94fa-ad216e398bd8)
Chapter Three (#udafd8dfe-87ed-589e-9641-b21dce424b3d)
Chapter Four (#u6f075214-4a3f-5ede-8444-37fbaf786aab)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seventeen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter One
Ethan Slade parked his old pickup in front of Mannys General Store, ignoring the stares and whispers of the midday crowd as he climbed out and headed for the post office. Most folks wouldnt expect to see him in town so close to Christmas, and they all had to be wondering what he was doing here. But other than a nod or a brief greeting, no one said a word. They wouldnt. Not when he employed most of their brothers, sons and fathers.
The responsibility of owning the second-largest ranch in Central New Mexico, which made him the towns major employer, was one of two reasons that kept him here.
The other was Emilys grave.
Simon Whitefeather looked up from the mail he was sorting and his black eyes immediately narrowed over his wire-rimmed reading glasses. Mornin, Ethan, what brings you into town? Werent you here just five months ago?
Ethan slowly nodded. Im out of supplies. Any mail for me in the back?
Nope. Sam picked up the ranch mail two days ago, bills and catalogues mostly. Simon frowned and scratched his balding head. Seems to me Billy Bob has a telegram for you. Unless he already got it to you? When Ethan shook his head, Simon added, It came about two or three days ago. He said he was going to run it out to the ranch.
Ethan rubbed the back of his neck. Who the hell would be sending him a telegram? Jenna. It had to be his kid sister. He wondered what kind of scrape shed gotten into now. It seemed that was the only time he heard from her anymore.
I told him hed have to leave it with Sam. I figured youre still living out at the caretakers shack.
Thanks, Simon. Ethan had known the older man a long time. Theyd met near Millers Creek when Ethan and Sam were only six. Simon had taught them how to swim. Ethan knew Simon would respect his desire not to have Billy Bob Simms or anyone else nosing anywhere near the shack.
Cant swear hell listen. I heard hes bucking for a job at the Double S.
Things are slow this time of year. I doubt Sam needs an extra hand. Even though Ethan owned the place, he rarely interfered with the way Sam ran things. He preferred mending fences, herding strays, preserving his solitude. Hows Martha doing?
Complaining about her arthritis in one breath, and that I dont take her anywhere in the other. Women. If I live to be a hundred, Ill never understand em.
Yeah, I know what you mean. Ethan stooped to pick up a plastic snowman that had fallen off the counter. He stuck it next to the Santa sitting in the middle of the cotton snow, then headed toward the door. Tell her I said to take care of herself.
Ethan?
Reluctantly he stopped at the door, wishing like hell he hadnt come to town today. Thirty years of friendship made him turn around. Yeah?
Martha keeps asking when youre coming to dinner.
He exhaled slowly. Ive been pretty busy lately.
You gotta be taking Christmas off. She roasts a mean goose.
I dont think
She serves it with her homemade cranberry sauce. That took the County Fair blue ribbon three years in a row.
Ethan half smiled. Ill think about it.
You do that. Their gazes met, understanding and sympathy in Simons eyes. Ethan had to look away. There wont be anyone there but us, and of course, Sams invited, too.
Thanks, Simon, Ill let you know. Ethan opened the door and stepped outside, grateful for the brisk winter air.
He inhaled a lungful, then turned up the collar of his jacket in deference to the chill nipping at his neck. No way would he go to the Whitefeathers house for Christmas. Holidays were still too painful. Emily should have been here sharing them with him, having his children, growing old with him. Not buried under six feet of cold ground.
He swallowed and adjusted his Stetson before heading toward Mannys store. After Ethan picked up several months supply of canned goods and toiletries, hed have to go find out about that telegram. He doubted Sam had it. If he did, he would have run it over to Ethan right away. Sam was a lot more than his foreman, he was the best friend a man could have.
Just outside Mannys, Billy Bob hollered Ethans name, then ran across the street, nearly getting run over by a white Jeep Wrangler.
He waved an envelope. I saw your truck. Figured Id catch up with you sooner or later. I got a telegram here for you from Jenny. He handed it to Ethan, then dragged his sleeve across his red, runny nose. What is it shes calling herself these days?
Jenna. Ethan started to tear open the telegram, then frowned at Billy Bob, whose gaze was glued to the envelope. Ethan dug into his pocket, came up with a five-dollar bill and put it in Billys hand. Thanks, kid.
Gee, thank you, Mr. Slade. He waited for Ethan to open it.
Dont you have something else to do?
The young mans eyes lifted to Ethans expressionless face and widened slightly. Yeah, sure. Billy Bob took a step back and shrugged. If you wanna answer it, I guess youll let me know.
I reckon I will. He didnt go back to tearing the envelope until Billy turned to leave.
Oh, Mr. Slade?
Ethan looked up.
They just opened one of those big supermarkets over in Andersonville, Billy said, with a small sheepish smile. My mom tells me they have a real nice floral section year round. You know, forwhen
Ethan stiffened slightly. I appreciate you letting me know.
No problem. The young man met Ethans eyes for a moment, then he shoved his hands in his pockets and shuffled away.
Hey, Billy.
He turned. Yeah?
If youre needing a part-time job, go see Sam. Tell him I sent you.
Gee, thanks, Mr. Slade.
Ethan nodded, then headed down the opposite end of the sidewalk while he fished the telegram out of the envelope. He stopped suddenly and stared at his sisters message in stunned disbelief.
Even the rousing chorus of Deck the Halls coming from Mannys store couldnt drown out Ethans involuntary curse.
SARA CONROY zipped the front of her daughters jacket, then adjusted Mistys thick wool scarf to make sure her neck was covered.
Its not cold enough to wear all this stuff, Mom. Misty scowled as she tried to loosen the scarf.
It will be once we get outside. Silently, Sara agreed. The weather wasnt cold enough yet to warrant wool, but shed expected milder New Mexico to have colder weather. Besides, shed brought precious few clothes, only what shed been able to sneak out of the house, and the scarf would have to do.
Cant I just put it on later if I need it?
Sara looked into her five-year-olds pleading blue eyes and relented. A little nippy air wasnt going to harm Misty. Especially not after what Sara had put the child through in the past month. Okay, but if I say its too cold, you put it on immediately with no argument.
Misty grinned and yanked off the scarf.
When she tossed it on the bed, Sara gathered it up before letting them out of the small motel room and making sure the rickety lock had engaged behind them. The motel shed chosen was rundown and shabby, but it seemed safe enough, especially in a small town like Sedina. Anyway, it wasnt fear of strangers that kept her looking over her shoulder, or double-checking locks.
She took Mistys hand as they walked the short distance to town, hoping that the apple and cheese and crackers shed given her daughter for lunch would stay with her until they returned. Until Sara got a job and padded their meager nest egg, thered be no more restaurant meals for them.
After two attempts to get Misty to talk, they ended up making the five-minute walk in silence. Although her daughter had always been a shy quiet child, Sara had noticed an increased withdrawal since theyd left Dallas, and she tried not to push.
It was difficult, though, because even while she knew theyd done the right thing by leaving, she felt horrible guilt. Especially when Mistys eyes lit up when they passed store windows, displaying all the latest toys for Christmas. There was no way Sara would be able to afford the kind of lavish Christmas Misty was used to, and if no one answered Saras ad soon, they could very well be spending Christmas morning in the train station.
Shivering at the thought, she hurried them toward Dellas House of Beauty and one of two bulletin boards where shed placed her ad. She stared in dismay. Below the neatly printed offer of holiday housecleaning, shed included a row of easy-to-tear-off strips with the motels phone number. Not a single one had been taken.
She swallowed hard, then forced a smile for Misty. Okay, lets walk over to Mannys store.
Can I have an ice-cream sundae?
Its too cold for ice cream, honey. And ice cream was too expensive. But at Mistys disappointed expression, Sara added, How about a cherry sucker?
Her daughter lifted a shoulder. I guess.
Come on. She ruffled Mistys strawberry-blond curls, then tugged her down the sidewalk. Thats your favorite.
Mannys was crowded today, and several people stood near the door talking and blocking Saras view of the bulletin board. When she finally ducked in close enough to see, her heart fell. Again, no one had taken a single phone number.
She shouldnt be disappointed or surprised, she told herself. In a town this small and remote, people probably didnt hire domestic help. Sara herself hadnt grown up with that kind of luxury. It wasnt until shed married Cal that shed had a maid to make her bed each morning and a cook to provide their meals.
Now, shed give anything for the opportunity to scrub someone elses floor. It would mean a Christmas tree and presents for Misty.
Come on, kiddo, lets go get that sucker I promised you. She gave her daughter a bright smile, then froze when she saw a man stop at the bulletin board and finger her ad.
He was tall, slim, his hair dark and kind of long, what she could see of it under his black Stetson. The blue denim jacket he wore was faded nearly gray, his jeans were well-worn and so were his boots.
After staring at the ad for a moment, he withdrew a piece of paper from an envelope, read it, then looked at the ad again. Although his posture was straight and proud, there was a slight slump to his shoulders that gave him an air of defeat. When he reached out and tore off one of the strips with her phone number, her heart thudded.
I thought we were going to buy my sucker.
Sara glanced at her daughter, then tugged her closer, her gaze shooting back to the man. We will, honey, in just a minute.
When he turned around, Sara bowed her head slightly and averted her eyes. It wouldnt do to have a prospective employer see her spying on him. She waited until he started to pass them and briefly gave him a sideways glance.
She was only quick enough to catch his profile and the fact that he was badly in need of a shave. What ultimately drew her attention was the wide berth others seemed to give him and the stares and whispers in his wake.
Great. She finally had a hot prospect and he was probably the town ax murderer. She sighed. She sure knew how to attract the misfits, just like honey drew flies.
She watched him walk away, surprised at the slight stirring in her chest when he stopped and one side of his mouth lifted at two little girls. He tipped his Stetson to them and they giggled, then ran off.
Just then Judy Hawkins, who owned the corner diner, came out of Mannys. Sara had gotten to know her a little when she and Misty had first come to town and they could afford to eat there twice a day.
Hi, Sara, Misty. Judy shifted her grocery bag to her other arm. I havent seen you two this past week.
Ive been dieting. Sara shrugged, too embarrassed to admit the truth. She was almost broke.
Judy let out a howl of laughter. Lose another ounce and youll be wearing Mistys clothes.
Misty made a face. We didnt bring that much.
Sara squeezed her daughters hand. Now wasnt the time for her suddenly to get talkative. See that man over there? Sara nodded toward the guy whod seemed interested in her ad, already turning the corner. Do you know who he is?
Judy craned her neck and frowned. The one who just disappeared down Second Street? Looked like Ethan Slade, except he doesnt come to town much any more. Judy stared curiously at Sara. Did he have dark hair, brown eyes and a deep cleft in his chin? Sara nodded. Thats Ethan, all right, nice piece of man flesh, but you dont want to get mixed up with him.
Heat climbed Saras face at the implication in the older womans tone. She should set the record straight, tell Judy why shed asked about him, but pride held Sara back. Its not what you think
A horn blasted, and Judys gaze shot toward the street. Theres my ride. See you at the diner, huh?
Sara nodded and watched her hurry toward the dirty white sedan. Since she only knew Judy casually, it was difficult to read her expression, but in spite of her warning, Judy hadnt seemed afraid of or horrified by the man. There had almost been a trace of sympathy in her eyes.
Saras gaze strayed toward the corner of Second and Main. Still, Judy had said not to get mixed up with him, and the last thing Sara needed was any more trouble. As much as she hated to, instinct told her shed better let this opportunity slide.
Come on, Mom. Misty tugged at her hand, and Sara snapped out of her trance.
Okay, well go get your sucker, and lets pick up another jar of peanut butter.
Misty made a face.
Sara brushed the bangs out of her eyes. I thought that was your favorite?
Not every day.
Sara flinched. I know, sweetie. Well look for something else, too, okay?
They passed a newspaper stand on the way into the store and Sara made a mental note to pick up a paper even though she already knew there werent many jobs available that would allow her to keep Misty with her. But it didnt look like her ad was paying off, and she would have to do something soon.
In the corner, just past the two clerks busily ringing up sales, a man collected toys for the needy. His box overflowed with brightly wrapped presents and some dolls and trucks that werent wrapped.
Oh, Mommy. Mistys eyes widened, and she tugged on Saras hand. Can I have that doll with the long red braid?
Sara smiled down at her. Sorry, honey, but those things are for the poor and homeless.
Misty looked up, her big blue eyes full of innocence. But thats us, isnt it, Mommy?
Sara blinked, her head suddenly growing so light that she thought she might pass out. Swallowing around the lump in her throat, she bent down and gave Misty a hug. Come on, baby, we have to hurry back to the motel.
She hoped she hadnt already missed Ethan Slades call.
HAVING TO GO to town two days in a row had Ethan in a foul mood. All because of Jenna. He couldnt wait to get his hands on his sister. He didnt care that he hadnt seen her in six years, he was going to wring her neck anyway.
He steered the truck into the motel parking lot and squinted at the numbers on the orange doors, looking for the room number Sara Conroy had given him over the phone. There was an empty parking stall in front of number six and as soon as he pulled in and turned off the engine, the door opened. A petite woman with reddish-blond hair stepped outside, and quietly closed the door behind her.
She gave him a shy smile, then rubbed her palms down the front of her jeans while she waited for him to walk around the front of the pickup.
Mr. Slade?
He nodded. Ethan.
Im Sara Conroy, she said, offering him her hand.
It trembled slightly in his grasp, and although her blue eyes met his steadily, wariness darkened them.
Youre awfully young.
She blinked and pulled back her hand. That has nothing to do with how well I can clean. Besides, Im not that young.
Ethan rubbed the side of his jaw. He supposed that was true, except he didnt know that some pretty young gal would want to do the dirty job that he had in mind. Besides, she was little, and there was going to be some lifting involved in restoring the house.
Still, he figured he was lucky to find someone at this late date, and that she was a stranger and not likely to pry was a big bonus.
This is going to be a sizable job. The house hasnt been lived in for almost six years, he finally said. Itll probably take you the two full days.
No problem.
Like I told you on the phone, the girls get here on Friday, which basically gives you no leeway.
Shrugging, she pushed back the sleeves of her pink flannel shirt. She had the tiniest wrists hed ever seen. Like I told you, no problem.
He leaned against the front of his truck. She hadnt asked him inside, and he didnt blame her. He was a stranger to her. Made him wonder what shed found out about him. A cautious woman would have asked around. I wont be around to help.
I wont need it.
Ethan exhaled. You have a car?
She shook her head.
The ranch is about thirty miles outside of town. How do you plan on getting there?
She smiled. I can be ready in twenty minutes.
He stiffened. It wasnt like it was out of his way, but hed planned on asking Sam to let her in. Although he probably ought to make sure she only readied the kitchen and the rooms his nieces would need. No sense in putting the entire house back to order. But it had been a hell of a long time since hed set foot in that house. And he wasnt sure if he was ready. He liked living alone in the caretakers shack. Life was fine just the way it was.
He lifted his Stetson off his head, pushed the too-long strands of hair off his forehead, then settled the hat back down. All right. I was going to let the foreman take care of things, but I suppose I can let you in and make sure you know where everything is.
Her smile broadened. Great. Dusting her hands together, she turned to the door, then stopped. Maybe you have something to do in town while I get ready? I wont be but twenty minutes.
He looked at his watch. The worn leather band was on its last leg. Maybe he ought to use the time to replace it. Twenty minutes, he said, and rounded the truck to the door.
By the time hed climbed behind the wheel, Sara had already disappeared behind the ugly orange door. He couldnt help but wonder why a pretty young girl like her was staying in a dumpy motel like this. Or why she needed a job cleaning other peoples houses.
Maybe she was a runaway. Just like his sister had been once upon a time. Sara had to be younger than Jenna. He turned the key in the ignition, his thoughts straying to his sister.
In some ways it seemed like only yesterday that hed awakened at sunup to find a note from Jenna telling him shed eloped. But shed been seventeen then, and now she was sending her two daughters to spend Christmas with him while she honeymooned with her soon-to-be-third husband.
Ethan sighed heavily. What the hell was he going to do with a twelve-and six-year-old for ten days? It wasnt that he didnt like children, or that he wasnt happy to see his nieces, but he obviously didnt know beans about kids.
Hed tried his hardest to raise fourteen-year-old Jenna after their parents had died, but hed clearly failed. Shed gone from a sweet-tempered, shy child to a headstrong hellion by the time she was sixteen. Of course hed only been twenty himself at the time of the car accident, and totally clueless about the needs of a young teenage girl. The only thing he knew about was ranching. And Emily.
But Emily was dead now. And Ethan didnt give a damn anymore about the ranch theyd built together. Sam took care of everything just fine.
There was a small jewelry and coin store right at the edge of town, so he parked the truck and went inside. He vaguely knew the owner, who was reading a comic book behind the counter, but fortunately not well enough to make small talk or to have to answer a lot of nosy questions. Other than that, no one else was around. Probably all home having supper.
The owner showed him a modest selection of watchbands from which to choose, then went back to reading his comic book. Ethan checked the time. He still had ten minutes.
He tried to concentrate on finding the most durable band, but his mind kept drifting to the girls arrival. Erika was the older one; hed seen her only twice before, on the rare occasions when Jenna had remembered she still had family and had shown up at the ranch. Denise, the younger one, had to be about six. Hed never met her or her father.
His gut clenched at the thought that these two little girls were his own flesh and bloodthe last of the Slade line. He and Emily had waited on having children. Foolishly, theyd counted on having a lifetime together.
He quickly chose a plain black leather band before his thoughts wandered to forbidden territory, then he pulled some money out of his pocket while the owner replaced the old band. Already twenty minutes had flown by, and damn if it wasnt going to take Sara Conroy every spare minute to get the house in decent shape.
As he left the store, his thoughts strayed back to her. He sure hoped she was stronger than she looked. He wouldnt be much help to her. The idea of going back to the house still made him uneasy. The idea of even Sara or his nieces entering the house and touching things didnt sit well with him.
He forced a deep breath as he fished in his pocket for his keys. In a way, it was better Jenna had given him no notice. He didnt have time to dread facing the ghosts or the memories.
Besides, he had enough to worry about, trying to figure out what to do with two kids.
He opened the trucks door and froze.
Sara was already sitting in the cab. On her lap was a suitcase. Beside her was a freckled-faced little girl staring back at him.

Chapter Two
Who is this?
Sara raised her brows in innocence, then looked down at the child who had plastered herself to Saras side. You mean, Misty? Shes my daughter. Misty, say hi to Mr. Slade.
Misty didnt utter so much as a peep.
Why is she sitting in my truck?
Sara set a pair of headphones over Mistys ears, then started the Baby Beluga tape shed readied in the event Mr. Slade opposed her plan. You didnt expect me to leave her alone in the motel room, did you?
I didnt expect her at all. Ethan frowned at the suitcase. Whats that for?
I wasnt sure Id get a ride back so I brought a few things in case we have to spend the night. In fact, Sara was counting on it. Shed already checked out of the motel, hoping to save a couple of nights rent.
Youre not spending the night.
But it makes sense.
Not to me.
Dont you think you should get in? Standing on the sidewalk isnt going to solve anything.
Ethan climbed behind the wheel, his expression grim as he stared straight ahead. You dont understand.
Is it the owner? Do you think hed have a problem with me staying in his house?
Possibly.
Sara rubbed her left temple. She hadnt considered that problem. But, of course, she was a stranger to this man, and whoever owned the house. You said the owner doesnt live there anymore, right?
He nodded, slowly turning to look at her.
She gave him a bright smile. Then surely there isnt anything of value left in the house.
His head jerked a little, almost as though shed struck out at him.
I only meant that he wouldnt have to worry about me stealing anything. Heat climbed her face, and she automatically slipped an arm around Misty. Not that Im a thief. But I am a stranger to you.
He shook his head, and brought his troubled gaze to hers. The thought never crossed my mind. What about you? Arent you concerned about me?
She stared back at him, wondering what had made his eyes so sad. They were a warm shade of brown, a sort of milk chocolate color, but they lacked sparkle or expression. I asked around about you.
He seemed to tense, then looked straight ahead again.
That made her all the more curious. Neither of the two people besides Judy that shed asked had had an unkind thing to say about Ethan Slade. In fact, they wouldnt say much at all. Only that he was an honorable man, and she neednt worry. Shed shoved her curiosity aside and asked no more questions. She wouldnt ask him any either. She of all people knew the importance of privacy. Of keeping secrets.
Shouldnt we get moving before it gets too late? she prompted, hoping he hadnt changed his mind.
He stared in silence for another minute, and when he finally turned the key and started the engine, her breath slipped out in relief.
Certain rooms will be off limits to both you and your daughter, he said, without looking at her. Ill point them out as soon as we get there. About food for tonight and tomorrow morning, he slid her a look, and she was surprised to see concern in his eyes. There may be a few canned goods, but nothing else. I cant even be sure the refrigerator is still working.
No problem. We still have a jar of peanut butter and crackers and a couple of bananas. Well be fine.
His concern gave way to curiosity, but he said nothing as he returned his attention to the road.
Sara used the lengthening silence to remind herself to say as little as possible. She didnt need Ethans, or anyone elses curiosity stirred. Cal had too many connections, knew too many people. If he decided he gave half a damn about either her or Misty, he might be inclined to search for them. Not that she thought he would suddenly discover love in his heart. He simply didnt like losingespecially not what he considered his possessions.
She stared out at the scenery, fascinated by the vast expanse of land and rock formations. In some places the land looked too parched, and in general, it was on the arid side, but somehow the desolation added to its beauty. So unlike Dallas, where shed spent her entire life. If she werent so darn scared, this would have been a great adventure.
How long have you lived here? she asked, turning to Ethan.
All my life.
Its beautiful.
He nodded.
She waited, hoped hed say something else. It appeared shed have a heck of a long wait. Misty was still happily listening to her tape, even though it probably was for the hundredth time, so Sara decided to leave well enough alone and continue to enjoy the scenery.
After another five-minute stretch of silence, she asked, How long has it been since youve seen your nieces?
He looked startled. Why?
She shrugged. Just making conversation. She sighed, and mumbled, Sorry, before she let her gaze stray out the window again.
A minute later he said, Its been a long time. About six years.
Sara smiled to herself. Progress. She waited another minute, then said, How old are they?
Twelve and six.
Six? Only a year older than Misty. Excitement simmered in Saras chest. How long will they be here?
Until Christmas.
He turned down a long dusty road that seemed to go nowhere, and she remained quiet, forcing herself to breathe slowly. His younger nieces company would be great for Misty, and surely he wasnt equipped to care for the two girls by himself. Whereas Sara was really good with children. And the isolation of the ranch was perfect. If Cal were looking
Her heart started to hammer at the thought she might be able to give Misty a decent Christmas after all. Now, all she had to do was convince Ethan Slade that for the next two weeks, she was indispensable to him.
THE KITCHEN is that way. Ethan gestured to his left. Ill show you the two rooms the girls will be using.
Wait a minute. She finished settling Misty on the couch with her headphones. Cant we go peek in the kitchen? I have a feeling thats where most of my elbow grease will be needed.
Later. After I leave. He started down the long hall, his chest tightening as he approached the master bedroom. The one that had once been used by his parents and then by him and Emily.
The kitchen, he wasnt ready to face. Emily had spent too much time there, cooking and canning and proudly gazing out at her vegetable garden. The patch of land was surely nothing but weeds now, but the memories would still be thriving.
He hadnt managed to lose the lump in his throat that had formed when the house had come into view, and the sooner he got out of here the better. This room here
He frowned at the empty hall behind him, then started to retrace his steps. Where the hell was Sara?
She was standing in the middle of the family room, slowly running her hand over the intricate details of the mahogany rocker his grandfather had carved. For whatever reason, it was the only piece of furniture in the room not covered by a white sheet.
She looked up. This is beautiful. Her gaze wandered toward the dirty windows framing a portion of the San Juan Mountains. And the view She shook her head. Its a shame no one lives here anymore.
You can look at all this later, he said gruffly, which earned him a quizzical look. I want to show you the bedrooms, then I have to go.
All right. Her hand fell from the chair, and she started toward him. But then she stopped, and so did he.
What now?
She was staring at the stone fireplace. Over in that corner, she said with a jerk of her chin. Is that where youre putting the tree?
What tree?
She looked at him like hed grown a horn in the middle of his forehead. The Christmas tree, of course.
Ethan groaned and rubbed his eyes. Im not getting one. We dont have any ornaments anyway.
She shrugged. It might be fun for the girls to make some.
No tree. He stalked down the hall without turning to see if shed followed. But she sure as hell had better be right behind him, or
She was. Why not?
He briefly closed his eyes. Because I dont have time to find one or worry about decorations.
I can do that.
You wont be here.
Oh. She drew in her lower lip for a moment, then opened her mouth, but at his warning look, promptly shut it again.
He opened the bedroom door, and musty, dusty air poured out, throwing them both into fits of coughing. Quickly, he brought his attack under control, but Sara seemed to be gasping for breath.
Are you okay?
She nodded, coughed, then gasped.
He circled his fingers around her upper arm and drew her away from the room. She felt tiny, fragile, where her arm should have been more meaty.
Peanut butter and crackers.
Was that her staple? Was that all she could afford?
He kept his hand wrapped around her arm, not sure if she needed him to steady her, as he opened a window. Frosty air snaked down the hall, but at least shed stopped coughing.
She took a couple of shallow breaths and shifted her arm. He got the message and released her.
Okay? he asked, ducking his head to get a better look at her face. Her color was high and her eyes too bright but she quickly nodded.
Im fine, really. She took a deeper breath. I had a touch of asthma as a child and occasionally I have a slight attack. Nothing to worry about, she added hastily. I outgrew it in my teens.
The information bothered Ethan. He wasnt sure she should be doing this kind of work. Look, Sara
She touched his arm, alarm in her eyes. Please, dont withdraw the job offer. She lifted her chin. I need the work.
Ah, hell. Why did she have to look at him with those big pleading blue eyes like that? Wait here a minute.
He returned to the room, flipping on the ceiling fan on his way to the window. Good thing Sam had talked him into keeping the utilities turned on. Of course Sam thought Ethan would have tired of the caretakers shack and returned by now. It wasnt that simple.
The window was old and stubborn from lack of use, but he finally managed to open it halfway. More cold air swirled through the room, but it sure beat letting the musty stagnant air suffocate them.
He went to the next room and did the same thing. On his way out to call Sara, he saw Emilys sewing basket sitting on the oak dresser. His heart thumped as memories of them sitting by the fire sliced through him as cleanly as a knife through pudding.
Shed loved working with her hands, and shed loved Christmas. Around July shed always started sewing and knitting presents. He still had every sweater shed knitted him. They were all in boxes he never opened.
Ethan?
He didnt know how long hed been standing there staring, when Saras troubled voice drifted to him. Silently he cleared his throat as he saw her in the doorway. Her nose was still red from her coughing fit, and so were her cheeks. She looked about sixteen. I was trying to air out the rooms.
She sniffed. Its better already. I take it this is the other room you want me to get ready? She started to cross the threshold, but he stepped forward, causing her to stop.
Lets give it a few more minutes to air out. Ill show you where the bathrooms are. His tone was apparently too abrupt because she looked at him with a mixture of concern and fear, and took a wobbly step backward.
He didnt have the words to fend off her fears, so he merely gave her a wide berth as he passed her. I think one bathroom will be enough for the girls, he said as he peered through the open door just down the hall.
The walls were covered with a startling pink wallpaper, the tile floor only a couple of shades lighter. It was one of two guest bathrooms, and Emily had insisted on the colorful decor. Hed truly hated it the first day she unveiled her handiwork, but shed said bright colors boosted her spirits. And that had been enough for Ethan.
He thought he heard Sara chuckle, and he glanced over his shoulder. She smiled, her teeth perfectly straight and as white as new snow.
How old did you say your older niece is? she asked, a sparkle of amusement in her eyes.
Twelve. Maybe thirteen.
I wouldnt count on one bathroom being enough.
He rubbed the side of his neck. Why not?
There was that twinkle in her eyes again. Made her look real pretty. Because girls that age notoriously take hours getting ready.
Ready to do what?
Anything.
Ethan shook his head. It was going to be a long two weeks ahead of him.
If youre going to have your own bathroom, the two girls could probably work it out sharing one. She ducked past him to get a look inside, and a subtle fragrance drifted up to him. From her hair. It smelled like roses.
Well, this certainly is an interesting color. She stepped inside and swiped the wall. Her palm came up brown, and she wrinkled her nose. Wow! How long did you say its been since anyone lived here?
Six years. Six years, one month and three days. The girls will have the bathroom to themselves. I live in the caretakers place.
She turned to him with wide eyes. Youre leaving them alone here?
No. My He caught himself, paused, then gestured with his chin toward the east pasture. Sam, the Double S foreman, lives in the bunkhouse nearby. Along with about half a dozen ranch hands.
Are they all men?
He nodded slowly.
You cant do that.
Ethan sighed. Ill see the girls every day.
She put a hand on her hip. A slim but nicely rounded hip. That isnt the point.
I know every single one of those men. There isnt a thing to worry about.
But theyre only children, you cant
She stopped abruptly at Ethans warning look. He wasnt about to argue. He didnt know if it was because he hadnt dealt with the persistence of a woman in a long time, or because it was this woman in particular. But she sure was getting under his skin.
He did feel a little bad, though, seeing the alarm narrow her eyes and the way her body tensed. Made him wonder about her husband, and why she was traveling alone, or why she needed the job. He wouldnt ask. Itd likely invite questions about himself.
She rubbed a hand up her arm and gave him a measuring look. If it would help, Misty and I could stay awhile. No charge, of course. Just room and board would be fine.
I appreciate your concern, maam, he told her, but I believe I have everything covered.
Of course. She gave him a tiny smile. I guess Ill get started.
She led the way back to the family room, her walk not as spry as before, and he couldnt help wondering about her again. Not that it was any of his damn business. Or that he wanted to get involved.
I was thinking I should start with their bedrooms first, she said over her shoulder. Then the bathroom, next the kitchen and save the family room for last. If Im not finished before they get here, they can at least settle in while I tackle in here.
He stood beside her at the edge of the family room and frowned. You dont think youll finish in time?
Her brows shot up as she surveyed the room. I wasnt expecting quite this muchneglect. Quickly, she turned to him. Im not complaining. And Ill get it done.
Youre right. He laid a hand on her arm in reassurance, and her gaze raised to his, her eyes too big and too blue. Immediately he withdrew his hand and swallowed. Theres a lot to do. Im going to get one of the men to help you.
She blinked, and fear flickered in her eyes. What men?
One of the ranch hands.
Oh. She rubbed her palms together, then dragged them down the front of her jeans. Why dont we see how far I get by tomorrow first? No need to interrupt their work schedule. The owner might not like it.
He wont mind. She still looked tense, so he added, We can decide tomorrow evening. But you have to promise me you wont lift anything heavy.
A shy smile curved her lips. They were naturally peach-colored, and he felt a stirring where he damn well shouldnt. I promise, she said.
Okay. His tone was gruff, and she stiffened. Ill get out of your hair. You need anything, go to the bunkhouse and ask for Sam. Hes a good man.
She was about to say something, but her daughter sat up from her lounging position on the couch and yanked off her headphones. Sara hurried over to her. Is the tape finished, honey?
The little girl nodded, her gaze glued to Ethan.
Do you want to listen to another one? Sara brushed the childs bangs out of her sleepy eyes. Or you can listen to Baby Beluga again.
Im hungry, Mommy, Misty whispered softly.
Ethan heard it anyway.
Saras cheeks pinked and she leaned down to say something in the girls ear.
He looked away, not wanting to intrude. He scanned the dusty white shapeless mounds and realized he couldnt recall what the furniture under the sheets looked like. Panic tightened his throat, gripped his chest.
How could he forget? This room had once been a haven for him, for both of them. He didnt want to forget any part of their life together. Not a second. Ever.
It was a mistake to come here. Damn that Jenna.
Ethan?
He heard Sara calling to him and realized he was already at the door. His hand tensed on the knob. Im going out to the truck and get the cleaning supplies. He slid her the briefest glance, and saw her pass a cracker to Misty before he stepped outside.
It took only one trip to unload the supplies. He left them on the porch, then drove away at breakneck speed before the demons picked up his trail.

Chapter Three
It had been dark for nearly an hour before Sara took her first break. In spite of the open windows and the brisk December air whipping through the house, she felt damp and clammy from exertion. Long tangled strands of hair refused to stay within the piece of elastic shed tied around her curly mop, and they clung to her damp, flushed cheeks and neck.
And still she saw little progress as she surveyed the bedroom. Sighing, she sank onto the only chair in the room, a soft overstuffed club-style monstrosity, and prayed she could get up again.
Originally, shed thought the amount of money Ethan had offered her was generous. Not anymore. Not with the king-size headache she had from inhaling dust and the insistent ache plaguing her lower back. She was beginning to doubt shed even be able to make the place presentable in two days. Actually, a day and a half was more accurate. The girls would be arriving early afternoon the day after tomorrow.
A crocheted doily had fallen from the dresser and without leaving the chair, she scooped up the lacy snowflake-like piece for a closer inspection. It was finely made, by hand as far as she could tell, and although at first glimpse it appeared old, Sara guessed it was more recently made. At least in this decade, when women were usually too busy to spend the kind of time required for such fine craftsmanship.
Another mystery. The house had tons of them. Like the newer add-on off the back bedroom. The house was already huge, but the owners had added yet another room. Off the master bedroom, she figured, not having seen the inside of it. Forbidden territory, according to Ethan.
The add-on alone wasnt strange. Many growing families found the need for additional space. But there was no sign that children had ever lived in the house. And then there was the owners abandonment. Very strange.
She tossed the doily back onto the dresser. More dust filtered into the air. Sighing, she pushed to her feet. She had far too much work ahead of her to be sitting here, wondering about things that were none of her business.
After taking a peek to make sure Misty was still napping, Sara decided to work in the kitchen for a while. She really did need to develop a plan. It was maddening the way she went from one room to the other for a mop or a rag, then randomly began a new task without completing the one shed left.
She checked her watch and decided to give herself one hour in the kitchen. That way theyd at least have a decent place to sit and eat dinner. Even if it was only peanut butter and crackers. She turned on the water in the sink and gazed out the window. In the distance, the tops of the San Juan Mountains were already covered with snow.
Directly in front of her, a man walked slowly toward the house. Tall, slim, broad-shouldered, for a second she thought he was Ethan, and her pulse leaped.
Her reaction surprised her. A flash of disappointment that it wasnt him downright annoyed her.
The man didnt seem in any particular hurry, and she watched as he stopped to toe a square of weathered concrete sidewalk that led to the back door. Appearing satisfied with its condition, he continued toward the back stoop.
She held her breath, waiting to see if he had a key or would knock.
He knocked, and she exhaled.
Ms. Conroy?
That he knew her name alarmed her. Instinct told her that he was probably the foreman or one of the hands, especially judging by his worn boots and battered Stetson, but underestimating Cal in the past had cost her, and she wouldnt be foolish again.
Another knocka pausethen, Ms. Conroy? Im Sam Singleton, the Double S foreman.
She quickly unlocked the door and opened it. Sorry. I had the water running and didnt hear you.
He removed his hat. He didnt look anything like Ethan. His hair was lighter, his eyes blue and he was clean-shaven. Besides, this man smiled. Ethan told me youd be here cleaning the house up some. I just wanted to let you know youre not alone on the property.
I appreciate that, Mr. Singleton.
Its Sam.
She nodded and smiled back. Im Sara.
He was looking at her funny. You just get into town? he asked.
A little over a week ago.
A thoughtful frown pulled his brows together. And Ethan found your name on a bulletin board?
She nodded, amused at the irony that he seemed to be wary of her. He said references werent necessary.
Sams frown deepened. What? then he looked slightly embarrassed. I wasnt questioning you, its just that Ethan doesnt show up around here much, and I was a little surprised he He gave a small shake of his head. Never mind. You just holler if you need anything.
Thank you. She was about to say something when he set his hat back atop his head and turned to go. Wait, Sam, I, uh, was kind of wondering something.
He stopped and eyed her cautiously.
About Ethan
Caution gave way to alarm, and then his entire expression shut down. Sorry, maam, that topic is off limits.
I was just She lifted a hand in helplessness. I figured since you were his boss A strange look crossed his face. Never mind.
She wasnt going to get anywhere with him. Shed received the same reactions in town. First there was the look of alarm, which turned guarded then blank. The only thing missing in Sams reaction was the trace of pity shed seen in everyone elses eyes. If anything, Sam looked protective.
He started to leave again, stopped and said, If youre worried about his character, you wont find a more honorable or loyal man. Anyone in town will confirm that. He gave her a brief smile, touched the rim of his hat, then sauntered off without looking back.
Sara leaned against the doorjamb, trying to temper her curiosity. She told herself it was valid to be inquisitive about her employer, especially since she was scheming to stretch two days into two weeks. But she knew better. There was more to her curiosity than making sure he wasnt Jack the Ripper.
Something about him drew her, stirred an instinct to reach out and help in some way she couldnt fathom. It was a dangerous impulse. One that had already landed her in a hellish marriage. She shuddered at the thought, then ruthlessly pushed it aside, and plunged her hands in some warm soapy water.
Tonight shed give the kitchen a cursory cleaning, enough to at least make it sanitary. Tomorrow, after the bedrooms were in top shape shedA burst of melodic chimes gave her such a start she splashed water down the front of her shirt and on her sneakers. It took her a second to realize it was the doorbell. She shook the water from her hands then dried them on a rag on the way to the front door.
Misty sat up, rubbing her eyes. Mom?
Its all right, honey. Sara gave her a reassuring smile, then went to the window and inched back the drapes. She had only a partial view of the front porch, but she couldnt see anyone.
It couldnt be Sam. He wouldnt come around to the front door when he knew she was in the kitchen. It was probably Ethan. But he had a key. Though he probably wouldnt use it out of respect for their privacy.
With her hand on the knob, she called, Who is it?
No answer.
Her pulse and curiosity both going berserk, she opened the door a crack. No one was there. Her gaze drew to a brown wicker basket sitting on the porch. It held a bundle wrapped in a large red-checked napkin.
She stepped outside and stooped down for a look. Under clear plastic wrap was a roasted chicken, biscuits and cole slaw. Her gaze snapped up, but still she saw no one. Was this from Sam? But why not hand it to her?
Stepping off the porch and into the yard, she squinted toward the bunkhouseand caught a glimpse of Ethans blue pickup as it fishtailed in a cloud of dust down the gravel drive.
SAM SWUNG the saddle off Thunder, used his sleeve to wipe the sweat off his brow, then watched Ethan approach. His friend didnt come to the ranch much. Sam figured he could count on one hand the number of times Ethan had been here in the past six years. He hoped this was a good sign. It wasnt right for a man to isolate himself the way Ethan did. Too much grief and sadness had a way of keeping a man from being whole.
Hey, Ethan, I got your message late yesterday. I was riding the north pasture. Looks like weve got two miles of fence-mending ahead of us.
Ethan stopped and stroked Thunders neck. The soft-eyed gelding pushed his face forward for Ethan to rub. Have you seen her?
Taken aback by the question, Sam tried not to show any reaction. Hed expected a comment about the fence-mending. Sara? Yeah, I went over and introduced myself. Pretty little thing.
Ethan shrugged. Doesnt matter. As long as she gets the job done.
Hope swelled in Sams chest. The hell it didnt matter. He saw the flicker of life in his friends eyes. Whered you find her?
An ad on Mannys bulletin board.
Good timing. When do the girls get here?
Tomorrow.
Sam straightened. Tomorrow? He lifted his hat off his head, and mopped his forehead. Tomorrow. He grunted. Isnt that just like Jenny? No notice. No consideration.
She calls herself Jenna now.
Tough.
Ethan smiled.
Sam looked away. Hed grown up with Ethan and his little sister. Only, the last time Jennyd visited she wasnt so little anymore, and her childhood crush on him hadnt seemed so silly.
I need a favor, Ethan said. Can you spare one of your men?
Glad to have his thoughts pulled away from Jenny, Sam studied his friend. Normally he would have automatically said sure, or youre the boss, but something told him to hold back. What for?
To help Sara.
Clean?
Ethan shook his head. Mostly do the lifting.
Why cant you do it?
The flash of fear in Ethans eyes was like a ray of sunshine to Sam. Im busy, Ethan said, shaking his head. You just said we have fence that needs mending.
Not right away.
What about Bobby? Cant you spare him?
Sam massaged the back of his neck, frowning, in a show of concern. I already gave him time off to go see his folks up in Albuquerque for the holidays.
And Gus? What about him?
Hes driving a herd to South Fork.
Ethan rattled off a few more names. Sam made more excuses.
Ethan exhaled, long and slow. Youve got to have somebody.
Nope. Afraid I dont. The more panicked Ethan looked, the better it made Sam feel. It was good to see some life in his friend again. Damn good. Unless
Yeah? Impatience and hope animated Ethans face.
Sam shrugged. I suppose I could give her a hand. Maybe shell be grateful and have dinner with me. He winked, then hid a smile at Ethans sudden frown.
I thought you were busy.
Sam shrugged again. Shouldnt take long. Anyway, I sure wouldnt mind her company.
Ethan silently stroked Thunders neck, his brows furrowed in thought. Finally, he sighed. A put-upon sigh. For Sams benefit, no doubt. Youre right. Shouldnt take long. Guess I can handle it.
You sure? Sam kept a straight face. I dont mind.
Ethan flexed a shoulder, a nervous habit hed had since they were kids. Nah, I can manage.
Sam turned to his bucket of grooming supplies and busied himself with finding a brush before he started grinning like a village idiot. Let me know if you change your mind.
Thanks. Ethan sighed again. Id better get to the house and see if she needs me.
Sam nodded, but didnt look up until his friends scuffed boots were headed away from the stables and toward the house. He watched his retreating form, noticing the new life to Ethans step, and a lump swelled in Sams throat. It was so damn good to see traces of the old Ethan. God bless Sara Conroy. Sam hoped she did need Ethan. As much as Ethan needed her.
TEN MINUTES LATER, Ethan stood on the front porch of the house to which hed sworn hed never return and pressed the doorbell button. If he had half a brain in his head he wouldve let Sam deal with Sara. But that wasnt right. Sam had carried the major burden of the ranch for the past six years. And Erika and Denise were Ethans problem
Ethan? Sara had opened the door, startling him out of his thoughts. Her lips curved in a shy smile. We just finished breakfast. Leftover chicken and biscuits, thanks to you.
She stepped aside, and he had to force his feet to move over the threshold. The sun hadnt been up long, but enough of its rays touched her auburn hair to turn the tips to gold. When he passed her, the scent of roses took some of the starch out of his knees.
Well, what do you think?
He looked blankly at her.
Her expression fell, and she cast a forlorn look over the family room. Cant you see the difference?
Ethan slowly scanned the room. All the sheets were off the furniture, the brass lamps gleamed and the hardwood floor had been polished to a high shine. I cant believe you did all this already.
She lifted a shoulder. Its amazing how much you can get done when theres no TV to distract you. She laughed self-consciously, the sound sweeter than pecan pie. Come see the blue bedroom.
He let her lead the way, bracing himself for the assault of tormenting memories. But as he stepped into the room, all he saw was how cheery it seemed. The drapes had been tied back, letting the early-morning sun stream in through crystal-clean windows. Without dust covering everything, the oak headboard and nightstands and dresser looked new and inviting. Something else was different, too.
Well? Think the girls will like it?
He slowly nodded, trying to figure out what had changed. You probably didnt notice, but I swapped the comforter for one I found in the linen closet. This yellow one makes the room cheerier.
He remembered now. The other quilt was a navy blue and tan one his mother had made the year she died. Emily had used it as a remembrance.
Is something wrong? Wasnt I allowed to go into the linen closet? You hadnt mentioned it being off limits.
Ethan looked at Sara. She was wringing her hands, her eyes dark and wary. No, I didnt. I, uh, its fine, Sara. The room looks real nice.
Where are you going? She hurried after him down the hall. He had the sudden urge to get out and breathe some fresh air.
I forgot something in the truck. Ill be right back.
Need some help?
He stopped abruptly, and she nearly ran into him. He turned in time to grab her shoulders and avoid the collision.
Her wide-eyed gaze lifted to his. Im sorry. Her breathy words fanned his chin.
My fault. I didnt signal.
She laughed softly, and he was amazed that hed actually attempted a feeble joke. When her gaze lowered to the slim shoulder he still cupped, he quickly dropped his hand.
He stared at her, unable to remember what he was about to do. Clearing his throat, he moved back a step. I think Ill just go
Youre leaving?
The disappointment in her voice sent a flush of pleasure through him. Actually, I was He gestured toward nowhere in particular.
Oh, yeah. She smiled. You were going out to get something in your truck.
Right. He immediately headed for the door, calling himself every kind of dumb jackass. He wasnt some wet-behind-the-ears seventeen-year-old. He didnt even like petite, fair-haired women. And he wasnt in the market for a fling or anything else. Dammit.
So why in the hell was he getting all tongue-tied and weak-kneed? And stupid. He was being really stupid. Maybe he ought to reconsider Sams offer. Let him make a fool of himself. Because something about that woman would do it. Make a man do something foolish hed end up regretting for a long time.
He circled his truck a couple of times, trying to regulate his breathing. Anger more than anything was throwing him off balance. That he could have this physical reaction to a woman he barely knew galled him.
Removing his hat, he lifted his face to the warmth of the faint winter sun and closed his eyes. Maybe he was getting all worked up over nothing. Of course he would have a reaction to a woman. It had nothing to do with Sara, personally. He was thirty-six years old, for cripes sake, hardly over the hill. And he hadnt had any female company in a mighty long time.
At that thought, he slumped against his truck. It was by his own choice, he reminded himself. The problem was, he wanted to keep it that way. But he wouldnt be able to if Sara kept smiling at him.

Chapter Four
On the count of three, lift your side and move it three feet to the right. Sara paused. One, two
She waited a moment for Ethan to pick up his end, and when he didnt, she let go of her corner of the couch and popped her head up to see what was taking him so long.
He stood there glaring at her.
What? She left her crouched position and scrambled to her knees and propped her elbows on the arm of the couch. Three comes after two. Why isnt your side off the floor?
His gaze narrowed. Would you please get out of the way and let me move this by myself?
Thats silly. Im perfectly capable of helping. She shoved away the stray tendrils of hair that clung to her damp flushed cheeks, then cupped her hands under the corners of the couch. One, two No movement on the other side.
She popped up again, this time climbing all the way to her feet, and planting her hands on her hips. Ethan Slade, you may be paying my salary, but youre making me madder than athan a hungry grizzly bear.
He eyed her a moment then moved to the center of the couch, muttering, Youve never even seen a grizzly bear.
I heard that. She stepped back when he lifted the couch off the floor by himself and moved it. Who says I havent?
He didnt answer, and she hadnt expected him to. Hed barely uttered four sentences all day. She didnt know why hed bothered showing up since it was obvious this was the last place he wanted to be. Except he was too chauvinistic to leave her to handle the moving and lifting.
Which was absurd. She could practically lift her own weight. All the forced hours of working out in the exercise room Cal had built for her was one thing for which she could thank him.
Arms folded, she watched Ethan mosey around the room, moving pieces of furniture so that she could get at the dust beneath them. Other than sliding her a couple of guarded looks, he avoided her gaze. Nothing new. Hed treated her like she was a wildcat he needed to stay clear of, making sure she didnt trespass or attack.
Still, she had to admit, with his help shed accomplished more today than shed expected. But maybe that was his plan. Get rid of her as soon as possible.
That thought stole some of her thunder. Staying here through the holidays would be so perfect. Misty had been quietly occupying herself with the limited toys Sarad been able to bring, but she knew that wouldnt last. However, a six-year-old friend would be a godsend.
Sara pressed her lips together. Letting her temper get the better of her would not further her cause. Uncrossing her arms, she pasted a smile on her face. Ethan?
He paused, his entire body tensing as he looked her way.
Good heavens. What did he think she was going to do to him? She broadened her smile. Would you like a cup of tea?
His gaze touched her mouth, lingered for an unnerving moment, then skittered away. No thanks.
Water?
He shook his head.
She sighed. Loudly. He still wouldnt look at her. Ethan, have I done something to offend you?
He looked now, his gaze narrowed, his brows furrowed. No.
She waited for him to ask why. He went back to moving furniture.
Sara mentally counted to ten, then picked up the dust mop and attacked the floor with a vengeance. When shed finished one side of the room, he quietly began returning the chairs and tables to their original places. She continued working, countering his silence with her own, until he put the brown leather club chair in the corner near the fireplace.
She opened her mouth to tell him it couldnt go there, but a perverse streak of rebellion changed her mind. Instead, she leaned the dust mop against the stone hearth and dragged the chair three feet to the left.
Dusting her hands together and standing back to see if shed cleared enough space for the Christmas tree, out of the corner of her eye, she caught Ethan scowling at her.
What do you think youre doing? His words were low and deliberate.
She turned a smile on him. Me?
Are you that bound and determined to hurt yourself?
Come here.
His glare melted and he blinked. Why?
She scooted around the couch and approached him, amazed when he actually took a step back, fear flashing in his eyes. Im not going to bite. She stopped directly in front of him and flexed her right bicep. Feel this.
A startled laugh lightened his expression. What?
Im serious. Feel this.
Why?
Impatient, she grabbed his hand, but she wasnt prepared for the slightly rough texture of his fingertips and her thoughts skittered in a shocking direction. Quickly, she composed herself, then brought his hand to the small but firmly carved muscle she had developed over the years.
Astonishment flickered in his eyes.
Not bad, huh? She released his hand almost as hastily as he pulled it away.
His gaze met hers, held it for a moment, and then he slowly, wordlessly shook his head and took two steps back.
Ethan. She cupped her hips and stomped a foot. Would you tell me whats wrong?
Nothing. He picked his hat up off the table near the door. Their gazes met again, and something in his eyes sent a shaft of heat through her. I just remembered something I forgot, he mumbled, and took off for his truck.
Damn coward, she muttered, then took a deep breath, relieved he was gone.
ETHAN THREW his hat down on the passenger side of the truck, picked it up and threw it down again. Hed forgotten how stubborn females could be.
Not Emily, though, he amended. She was as sweet-natured as they came. He pictured her sitting near the fireplace on the brown club chair, knitting or crocheting, smiling and humming as she worked. A cross word never fell from her lips. The one time hed heard her say darn shed been horribly embarrassed.
Relief and guilt warred within him. This was the first time he could remember thinking about her without a knife slicing through his heart. Time would lessen the pain and grief, his friends and neighbors had told him. He hadnt believed them. Hadnt wanted to believe them. Emily deserved more from him.
His gaze strayed toward the house, his thoughts toward the little spitfire inside. She may look small and fragile, but she had muscles in her arms that would put some of his ranch hands to shame. Still, her biceps werent all that big, more unexpected because she looked so feminine with all that flowing red-gold hair and full wide mouth, and it got him wondering about where else she might have a muscle or two that would surprise him.
Disgusted as he was with his thoughts, he couldnt let go of them. Saras smile had somehow dug a groove in the replay area of his brain and kept bushwhacking him when he least expected it. Like last night in the shower, and then after hed hung his hat for the night. What he had to do was get the hell out of here. Go string some fence. Chop wood. Take Jet for a long ride. The stallion hadnt been exercised today.
And when Ethan was finished, hed go straight back to his shack in his own corner of the world and stay put until it was time to pick up the girls. He glanced at his watch. Erika and Denise would be here in less than twenty-four hours and hed have more than he could handle. Sam could give Sara a check out of the ranch account and Ethan wouldnt have to see her again.
He patted his shirt pocket for his keys. Then his jeans pocket. No keys. He patted his shirt again. What in the hell had he done
Mr. Ethan?
He turned abruptly at the sound of Mistys soft voice. She immediately turned pink and half hid behind the white picket gate to the sidewalk.
Oh, hell. He cleared his throat. Yeah?
Are you coming back?
His gaze rose over her head. Had Sara put the girl up to this? Does your mom know where you are?
Her eyes got big, and she shook her head.
Shes not going to like you being out here alone.
A shy smile lifted her tiny lips. Im not alone. Im with you.
Something in her tone and face tugged at him. Something akin to trust. It pierced a corner of his ice-encased heart, shattering it, the pieces melting faster than he knew how to respond. Well, Im not sticking around, so youd better go inside.
He expected her to bolt for the house. He didnt want her trust. Didnt deserve it. Emily had trusted him. Look where it got her.
Obviously he hadnt sounded as gruff as he thought. Mistys expression didnt even waver. When are you coming back?
He passed a weary hand over his face. I dont think I am.
Alarm widened pretty blue eyes so much like her mothers. Whos going to bring us dinner?
Surprised, Ethan frowned, then started to chuckle.
Whats so funny? She wrinkled her nose. Its not polite to laugh at somebody.
Im sorry.
The corners of her mouth started to lift again. Mom says youre a nice man. Youre not really a grouch. Just maybe sad about something.
Ethans humor fled. What did Sara think she was doing analyzing him?
From inside the house, Saras panicked voice called out for her daughter. Misty spun toward the sound, then she looked back at him. Dont tell her I was out here, okay?
He nodded.
Promise? She was halfway down the sidewalk but she stopped and waited for him to answer.
Promise.
Then cross your heart, she said, walking backwards toward the house.
Using his index finger, he made an X on the left side of his chest where his heart should have been. At least someone still thought he had one.
AS SOON AS SARA saw Ethans truck in the drive that evening, she let go of the drapes so he couldnt see her waiting. At least she assumed the dust that had been kicked up belonged to his truck. The dusky twilight hampered her vision and easily camouflaged the dark-colored pickup.
She was glad Misty was still changing into her pajamas, just in case Ethan put up a fight. Not that hed win. Sara pushed back her sleeves, then leaned against the door and listened.
A minute later she thought she heard the trucks engine and possibly the door opening. She didnt hear it close, but that didnt surprise her. The coward had probably left the drivers door open and the motor running.
When she heard the steps to the porch creak, she flung open the door. The astonished look on Ethans face was priceless. Hed been just about to set a picnic basket on the porch, but he immediately straightened.
Here, he said and tried to hand her the basket.
She didnt take it. Whats this?
He shrugged. Supper.
How nice. She opened the door the rest of the way and stepped back. Come in. Ill set an extra place at the table.
He rolled a shoulder, and tried to pass her the basket again. Im not staying.
Why not? She tilted her head to the side and eyed him quizzically. What in the heck did he think she wanted from him other than a job?
I have things to do.
I see. She straightened her back. Thank you, Mr. Slade, but we dont accept charity.
He put his booted foot in the door when she attempted to close it. What are you talking about?
She eyed his boot meaningfully, and he drew it back. I thought you were bringing some food to share so that we could all sit down together, not make a charitable deposit.
A what?
Ive already made something for our dinner, but thank you, anyway.
He still didnt move so she turned around and headed for the kitchen. As she passed the hall, she called to Misty that dinner was on the table. Behind her, she heard Ethan mutter a curse.
She bit back a smile and kept on going.
When they got to the kitchen and all that was on the table were crackers and cheese, a nearly empty jar of peanut butter and a cut-up apple that was beginning to brown, her bravado faltered. Embarrassment swelled in her chest until it blocked her throat. What kind of mother did he think she was? He wouldnt know that eating like this for an entire month would still be better than staying under Cals cruel and controlling thumb.
Without a word, Ethan set the basket in the center of the table, sat down and started unloading the food. A ribbon of steam spiraled up from the slab of ribs he unwrapped, and the pan of baked beans was also still hot, judging by the way he handled it. Two large ripe tomatoes and a bag of baby carrots had been carefully kept away from the hot stuff.
When he pulled out the lattice-topped pie, her stomach rumbled indelicately. Horrified, she turned away and got out another plate and silverware.
Wow! Misty walked into the kitchen, her eyes wide and focused on the table. Im having seconds.
Sara smiled, but the ache in her chest grew. She should be the one providing this meal for her daughter. Maybe youd better have firsts first, huh? After you say hello to Mr. Slade.
Misty looked shyly at him. Thanks, Mr. Ethan.
He winked at her, a rare smile curving his mouth, and a flutter replaced the ache in Saras chest. Then she watched in amazement as Misty, who was normally shy around men, took the chair closest to him.
Putting Ethans plate and silverware in front of him, Sara nodded to her daughter. Lets see your hands.
Misty held up both palms.
Sara vaguely acknowledged they were clean. Standing so close to Ethan, shed gotten a strong whiff of a musky pine scent that made her understand her daughters attraction to the man. When his gaze warily lifted to her face, she knew shed lingered too long.
Unnecessarily, she reached over and fussed with the stack of napkins. This looks great. Her voice sounded high, unnatural. She cleared her throat. Did you make it?
Only the beans.
Oh. She sat down and lamely passed the plate of crackers to Misty, who looked at her as if she were insane. The drinks, Sara said abruptly and started to jump up.
Ethan laid a hand on her arm. Here. With his other hand, he brought out a carton of orange juice.
Sara stared numbly at it. He hadnt released her arm yet, and his warmth was doing strange things to her thought process. Glasses, she said weakly.
Ill get them. His hand trailed away from her and her entire body tightened.
Sara swallowed. How pathetic. A man treated her with decency and she turned into a disgusting puddle of need. She helped Misty fix her plate, noticing that Ethan had gone unerringly to the cabinet where the glasses were kept. He took three down and was about to turn toward the sink when he realized shed already washed them all.
Their eyes met and she quickly looked away.
Thats enough, Mom.
Sara stared down at Mistys plate. Shed dished up enough food for three linebackers. Quickly, she put the filled plate in front of her own chair and fixed Misty a new one.
Ethan sat down and glanced at the mound of food. She thought she saw a twinkle of amusement in his eye, but he said nothing, just silently poured three glasses of juice.
Thank you, she said, and Misty immediately echoed her.
They ate in silence for the next few minutes, Misty eating so fast that Sara had to put a restraining hand on her arm twice. Saras own appetite had dwindled as she worried about what Ethan must be thinking.
She wanted to explain to him she really wasnt a bad mother, that her daughter had a good appetite, that she really wasnt starvingthat she was far better off today, homeless and poor, than she was a month ago, living in the Conroy mansion.
Sara reminded herself often enough. It was essential in order to fend off the self-doubt that had been so intricately molded and sculpted by years of criticism and belittlement.

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