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He's My Husband!
Lindsay Armstrong
Marriage in jeopardy Nicola was married to Brett Harcourt - but only just! She had some strong competition - his first wife wanted a reconciliation, and his new female colleague had designs on him, too. Nicola had the law on her side, but did she have Brett's love? He'd married her out of convenience - he'd never even taken her to bed! In view of the competition, it seemed Nicola didn't have a look-in.But she loved Brett, their home and his children, and the time had come to show everyone - including Brett - exactly whose husband he really was!
Going to tell me? (#u3751a6c8-6a4b-5b41-8f27-9afaf9bf7c5d)About the Author (#u73c25736-cca1-5f75-9def-97149033b590)Title Page (#uca7807b3-a81b-52f4-8bfb-493d846d3108)CHAPTER ONE (#ua7dd0e55-1ae3-5ba9-a092-b0adfc0c1da0)CHAPTER TWO (#u9d526724-3084-510f-931c-65ad252f3d77)CHAPTER THREE (#litres_trial_promo)CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Going to tell me?
Nicola chewed her lip. No.
So its something else I dont need to worry about?
No. I mean, no, you dont have to worry.
He raised an amused eyebrow. Id still rather know.
Brett, dont be difficult, she protested.
It... wasnt anything much.
All the more reason not to want to hide it from me, he countered mildly.
She clicked her tongue frustratedly. Youre impossible. All right, but dont blame me if you dont like it. I was wondering-just as a natural impulse, what it would be like if we...made love. Thats all.
LINDSAY ARMSTRONG was born in South Africa but now lives in Australia with her New Zealand-born husband and their five children. They have lived in nearly every state of Australia and tried their hand at some unusual-for themoccupations, such as farming and horse training, all grist to the mill for a writer! Lindsay started writing romances when their youngest child began school and she was left feeling at a loose end. She is still doing it and loving it.
Hes My Husband!
Lindsay Armstrong
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
CHAPTER ONE
THE marriage counsellor was a man in his middle to late thirties.
Nicola Harcourt looked doubtful, and sat down reluctantly. Shed begun to regret this impulse almost as soon as shed stepped over the doorstep, but now more than ever. A comfortable, middle-aged woman was whom shed envisaged talking to, a mother figure, perhaps, definitely not a man, and a youngish one at that.
How may I help you? the man asked, and smiled ruefully at her obvious wariness. Im the Reverend Peter Callam. He looked at her enquiringly.
I think Ill stick to first names, if you dont mind. Im Nicola.
Thats fine with me, Nicola. Does it help to know that Im a minister of religion and Ive had specific training in helping troubled marriages?
Oh. Nicolas expression cleared a little. Well, yes, she conceded, then shrugged. The thing is, Im not sure I should be doing this.
When one is desperate its a very good idea to talk things over with a third party who can take an impartial view
Im not desperate, Nicola broke in to say.
Then youre concerned your husband would not appreciate your doing this?
Nicola grinned. Im sure he wouldnt But that doesnt really bother me.
Peter Callam took a moment to study her and to form the impression that this Nicola was unusually attractive. Twenty-one at the most, he guessed, with fair shining hair in a smooth straight fall to below her shoulders, she had deep blue eyes with an exotic fringe of lashes expertly darkened, a straight little nose and a chiselled mouth innocent of any lipstick.
There was also a patina not only of health in her smooth, glowing skin and bright eyes, but wealth in her beautifully cut clothes: a short grey and white checked A-line dress under a charcoal linen jacket with a grey stripe, black leather platform shoes with high chunky heels that emphasised a pair of long golden legs, a black leather tote bag and a pair of designer sunglasses resting on top of her head.
Her only jewellery was a narrow gold wedding band on her left hand.
He frowned slightly and decided to take the direct approach. If youre not desperate then why are you here?
Nicola moved in her chair. I am, in a way. The thing is... She paused, shook her head and sighed. I want to leave my husband, who is not the slightest bit in love with me anyway.
The marriage counsellor clasped his hands on the desk. You mean hes fallen out of love with you? He has other womenhe abuses you?
Nicola blinked, an expression of surprise chasing through her deep blue eyes. He never lays a finger on me. Hes...rather nicewhen, that is she paused to chew her lip, a rather endearing trait Peter Callam found himself thinking, despite himself hes not being perfectly horrible to me.
Ah. He sat up. Mental cruelty can be as bad as the physical kind, and certainly grounds for some kind of intervention.
Nicola wrinkled her nose. Its not that kind of mental cruelty, she said with a spark of amusement. He...were not really married. I mean, we are, but it was a marriage of convenience, so we live separate lives in the same house kind of thing. She stopped, then added prosaically, Weve never slept together.
I see. Why did he marry you, then?
Im good with his kids.
The marriage counsellor gazed at her bemusedly. And thats the only reason he married you?
Nicola moved again, uncomfortably this time. Oh, well, she murmured, I might as well be hanged for a sheep. This is completely confidential, I presume? She eyed him with some hauteur.
Completely.
Well, hes also my trustee. He was my fathers partner, and when my father died-my mother died when I was twohe took over the reins, so to speak. And when Iergot myself into a very awkward situation with a man two years ago he saidhe suggested a marriage of convenience. I inherited rather a lot of money, you see, which made me the target ofwell, I wont go into that, but... She gestured.
And now you want out?
Would you care to be married for your child-handling abilities and only to keep you out of trouble? Nicola asked with a lift of an eyebrow.
Probably not, but it seems to me all you need is to get yourself a good lawyer and get your marriage annulled on the grounds of it never being consummated.
Nicola eyed him. Its not that simple. For one thing, my husband is the best lawyer in town. For another, the provisions of my fathers will dont allow me to touch my inheritance until Im twenty-three. And, because my husband is also my trustee, hes not only my husband but myjailer, if you see what I mean.
He holds the purse strings, in other words?
Precisely. Youre fairly quick on the uptake, Reverend, she said, with that glimmer of humour in her eyes again.
And I cant quite imagine the man who wouldnt want a peach of a girl like you, Nicola, the Reverend Peter Callam thought, and flinched inwardly. He said, Im at a bit of a loss, however, Nicola. I generally try to patch marriages up, not break them down, but...are you saying hed cast you out without a cent if you refused to stay married to him until youre twenty-three?
I wouldnt put it past him, Nicola replied darkly, then grimaced. No, of course he wouldnt, but he just wont believe that I can take care of myself. He treats me as if I were one of his kids at times.
These childrendont they have a mother?
Yes, they do. She was his first wife. They got divorced a few years ago. They had a very turbulent marriage; shes a classical pianist and extremely beautifulbut quite mad, if you want my opinion, Nicola said candidly. And, because she spends a lot of time overseas on concert tours, the children spend a lot more time with their fatherwhich is where I come in.
You know their mother well?
Ive known her all my life. I like her, despite the fact I think shes as mad as a hatter.
How many children are there? Peter Callam asked cautiously, feeling a sudden kinship with Alice in Wonderland.
Two. A girl of six and a boy of five. Theyre very naughty and very lovable. Nicolas lips curved into a warm smile.
So you wouldnt like to traumatise themwould I be right in assuming that? he said slowly, but with a keen little glance at Nicola.
She sat forward suddenly. What I would really like is to get out of this farce of a marriage as amicably as possible. Id like to see them all happythe children, B...my husband, and their mother.
The first wife? Peter Callam blinked. But surely?
Surely, yes, Nicola said, and looked briefly saddened.
Then she went on. The thing is, they may not be able to live together, but Im sure he doesnt want to get seriously involved with anyone elseand thats why Im so suitable. I run his house, look after his children, Im his hostess when he needs one, and any... she paused and shrugged ...physical needs he has are taken care of by a series of sophisticated mistresses whose eyes, she said with great feeling, Im seriously tempted to scratch out at times!
He parades his mistresses in front of you?
No, he doesnt, Nicola said impatiently. But Im not a fool. Im sure they must exist. He has an awful lot going for him.
All the same, why would you want to scratch the eyes out of these possibly mythical mistresses if youre so determined to leave him?
The question fell into a pool of silence, and Nicola paled slightly but didnt attempt to drop her blue gaze from his. Then she said huskily, The thing is, I fell in love with himthats why I agreed to this marriage. I thought, in my youth and immaturity She grimaced. I thought I could make the fairy tale come true and supplant M...his first wife in his heart. But he never did fall in love with me and he never will. Now do you see, Reverend?
Yes. Im sorry, Nicola, he said compassionately. But
No. She lifted a hand. If youre going to offer me platitudes and tell me not to give up hope, dont bother. Ill be twenty-one in two short weeks time; Ive been married to him for two yearsI know when Im beaten.
Nicola stopped and smiled slightly. Im not being very fair to you, am I? But, if its any help to you, its been a bit of a help to me to actually say all thisget it off my chest. She looked wry.
Thank you, Peter Callam murmured. But Im still confused. How long does he plan to keep you in a marriage of convenience? Because Im wondering whether he deserves your love, this man, if hesforgive methat insensitive apart from anything else, when he knows how you feel, but
Oh, he doesnt know, Nicola said blithely.
He doesnt? Peter Callam blinked.
You dont think She broke off and laughed. I may have been young and immature, but I wasnt so immature as to let him see I was madly in love with him.
I see.
Well, wouldnt you have?
Hidden my real feelings? Peter Callam said slowly. I...
She chuckled after a moment. Its an awkward one, isnt it, Reverend? But I can assure you that if you have an ounce of pride, when youre presented with a very definite marriage of convenience, despite all your dreams, you do tend to hide things.
I believe you, Nicola. Yet, he said thoughtfully, despite this show of spirited rebellion he raised an eyebrow and after a moment she nodded ruefully all along you were hoping hed fall in love with you?
Her eyes sparkled humorously again. I dont fight him all the time. Sometimes we get on like a house on fire.
Sounds as if he takes good care of you, then.
He does. Its not the kind of care I want taken of me, though.
Why is that, do you think?
Nicola considered. Not because hes nurturing a secret passion, unfortunately, Reverend, she said at last. Its because of my father. Not only were they partners, but he had great admiration for my fatherhe wouldnt be where he is today without Daddys help. I think he looks upon it as a way of repaying a debt to my father.
Nicola Peter Callam sat forward intently this is the last kind of advice I normally give, believe me, but if you do love this man, if you seriously think hes worthy of your love, there is a time-honoured way of getting a man to reveal himself. Not only to others, but to himself.
Nicola blinked. How?
If he thought you were interested in someone else, that might just...do the trick. I dont believe I said that, the Reverend Callam thought, no sooner had he said it, but this golden girl touched him; he couldnt deny it.
Nicola wrinkled her brow. Make him jealous? That doesnt sound very Christian, if you dont mind me saying so, Reverend.
Peter Callam flinched again, then he had to laugh. Youre right, but desperate situations require desperate means at times. Not that I would advise you to actually
Commit adultery? Nicola suggested with some irony.
Most certainly not. Um...does anyone know how things stand? His first wife, for example?
No one really knows, although some people might suspect. Im not sure what Marietta thinks. Shes usually amazingly, even embarrassingly forthright, but she just Nicola shrugged wished me luck and carried on as if it was a fait accompli. I suppose, if you look at it another way, its also her children Im good with, she added ruefully.
But you suspect she may still be in love with him?
I think theres a kind of fatal attraction between them and there always will be.
I still feel you shouldnt walk away from this marriage without one last test, he said stubbornly.
You probably dont think I can take care of myself either, Nicola observed.
I dont think its a bad thing to be preserved from fortune-hunters until youre twenty-three, Nicola. Its no great age. And you never know.
Nicola stood up and regarded him quizzically, as if to say, I might have known. What she did say was, Look, dont you worry about it, Reverend. I always knew there wasnt going to be an easy solution. Not that that will stop me from trying to find one. But thanks for listening. I feel a bit guilty about taking up your time. Im sure there are much more worthy causes and desperate women you could really help.
Peter Callam stood up and handed her a card. My time, he said quietly, is always available to those in need, even if its only to listen.
Nicola stared at him, then smiled at him radiantly. Its people like you, Reverend, who restore ones faith. Thanks a million. With that, she left.
Brett Harcourt drummed his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel of his sapphire-blue BMW convertible as he waited at a traffic light. The hood was down, although, for Cairns, it was a cooler day than the fierce heat of summer. He was late for an appointment, and every traffic light, this one included, had gone against him at the last minuteand this one took an age to change, he well knew.
Then he frowned as his gaze rested on someone coming out of the Lifeline offices opposite himhis wife. But she didnt cross the road in front of him, although for her the light was green. Instead, she stopped on the pavement and just stood there, obviously lost in thought.
As usual, although she might be miles away mentally, she was turning a few heads, he observed dryly. Men slowed as they walked past, then looked back. Girls and women looked too, no doubt marvelling at the simple elegance of her clothes, the beautiful, lithe body beneath, the gloss of her skin and hair, maybe wondering if she was a top model or a film star.
But what the hell has she been doing at Lifeline? Brett Harcourt wondered. Looking for some new and devious way to give me the slip? Unless shes decided to include good works in her repertoire of unusual activities...
He was about to hail her when he realised the light had changed and the traffic behind him was getting restive. He swore beneath his breath and moved off fast. But he noticed out of the corner of his eye as he did so that she didnt even look up.
As for Nicola, she came out of her reverie and decided to treat herself to lunch in town.
She left her car where it was parked and walked to the Pier, where she chose Pescis, an Italian waterfront restaurant, overlooking the Marlin Marina. Not that there was a lot left of the marina. A cyclone earlier in the year had washed away the pontoons, leaving only the piles.
But it would be rebuilt, for it had famous associations, the Marlin Marina, with people like the late Lee Marvin, who had come to Nicolas home town of Cairns, in far North Queensland, to set out in pursuit of the fabulous black marlin in the tropical waters of the Coral Sea.
Pescis was always busy, and today was no exception, but she found a table on the veranda and ordered a light lunchchopped cooked tomato and basil on toasted bread.
While she waited for it, and sipped mineral water, she fiddled absently with her wedding ring and thought back over her interview with the Reverend Peter Callambut, more particularly, on the impulse that had made her go in the first place.
I suppose it was because I can never talk to Brett about it, she mused. Not that Ive tried for a while, but it always ended up in an argument... I must have been mad...
She looked down at the gold ring on her left hand. It had never been accompanied by an engagement ringshed insisted she didnt want one, that it would be a bit ridiculous, because they could hardly call themselves engaged when they were to get married within a bare week of Brett proposing the marriage of convenience quite out of the blue to her. And, finally, werent engagement rings a token of love?
Shed asked her husband-to-be this with a dangerous little glint in her blue eyes, which hed observed placidly, then hed shrugged and murmured that it was up to her. But hed gone on to say that their wedding would not be a hole-and-corner affair if she had that in mind as well.
But surely you dont want all the trimmings? shed protested. I certainly dont.
What would you like? hed countered. Dont forget we need to make some kind of a statement, after whats happened to you and what people are saying.
Well... Shed coloured. Something quiet and dignified.
A look of amusement had flickered in his eyes, causing her to say rashly, Im quite capable of being dignified, Brett.
Oh, I believe you, although I sometimes prefer you when youre not, but... Hed shrugged.
Her eyes had widenedand, she recalled, sitting now on the veranda, watching the green waters of Trinity Inlet, which formed Cairns Harbour, that had given her another cause to hope.
So shed made no further objections, and shed married Brett Harcourt in a simple but beautiful, ballerina length dress of ivory stiffened silk, with a matching pillbox hat crowned with flowers, no veil and short gloves. The ceremony had taken place in the garden of his home, before a marriage celebrant, and the handful of guests had all been of his own family. His children had been present, but, at three and four, had had no real idea of the significance of the occasion.
Theyd been wild with delight, however, when shed moved in permanently from that day.
She finished her lunch with a sigh and remembered that, when making her marriage vows, shed been uncomfortable and barely audible. Then shed taken hold and told herself that at least she was in love with her tall, worldly husband, so it couldnt all be a sham. But of course now, in hindsight, that was what it still was and always had been.
All quiet on the western front?
Oh! Nicola started. It was that evening, and she was seated at a large and beautiful maple desk in the den, dealing with the household accounts. There was an open chequebook in front of her and a sheaf of bills. It was eight-thirty, the children were in bed asleep, Mendelssohn was playing on the state-of-the-art sound systemand she hadnt heard Brett come home.
She pushed a pair of horn-rimmed spectacles up on top of her head and regarded him severely. He had a glass of whisky in one hand and was pulling off his tie with the other. You were supposed to be home for dinner.
Sorry, he murmured. I got held up.
You dont have to apologise to me. Your children are another matter, however. You promised to watch The Wiggles with them.
Damn, I forgot. Brett Harcourt raked his hand through his dark brown hair. Dont they put out videos? I could watch a Wiggles video with them.
This was a special concerttelevised live.
So Im well and truly in the sin bin?
I would say so. And you could find yourself in the sin bin with your liver if you make a habit of dining on Scotch.
Brett Harcourt had hazel eyes that could be extremely enigmatic at times, much to Nicolas chagrin. They could also be coolly insolent and worldlyanother thorn in her flesh. But there were timesand she often wondered if she didnt find this the most infuriatingwhen they laughed at her, although he maintained a perfectly straight face. Such as now.
He said gravely, This is my first and last one for the day. Its been a hell of a day and I got my secretary to order some dinner for me. Have you taken up good works, Nicola?
She blinked at him. He sat down on the corner of the desk and let that hazel gaze drift over her. Shed changed into a large white T-shirt printed with gold and silver shells, and a pair of yellow leggings. Her hair was twisted up and secured by a big plastic grip. Her feet were bare. What on earth do you mean?
You sound as if youre trying to reform me. You even sounded wifely, which is something you avoid at all costs, you must admit.
The slightest tinge of pink ran beneath the smooth skin of her cheeks, but she said coolly, With good reason, Brett. Im a wife in name only, arent I?
How often have you reminded me of that, I wonder? he murmured, this time smiling openly.
As often as I try to remind you that youre a husband in name only, and that you neednt think you can run my life, she responded evenly.
I didnt think I did that.
Nicola stared at him and tried to mask her impatience, which never worked with Brett.
Well, do I? he asked reasonably. Tell me about any of your activities Ive ever put a stop to. Tell me that you dont come and go as you please, arrange your days as you please
But if I suddenly decided I wanted to go to...Tibet, that would be a different matter, wouldnt it? she returned tautly.
Decidedly, he agreed lazily. I dont think that would be a good idea at all.
She stared at him frustratedly. You know what I mean.
I know we agreedafter you got yourself virtually kidnapped by a man who was a notorious womaniserthat this would be a safer way to go, Nicola.
I was only nineteen, she said through pale lips.
Youre only twenty nowall right he shrugged as she opened her mouth to protest almost twenty-one. But I cant help wondering whether youve acquired the wisdom you so noticeably lacked then. His eyes mocked her. Wild talk of Tibet doesnt seem to go hand in hand with maturity. And that brings me to something elsewhat were you doing at Lifeline today?
Nicola gasped. How...? He didnt!
I felt sure there would be a he involved, her husband said dryly.
She jumped up. Having a man around is one thing you cant accuse me of, Brett! Since...since it happenedand I had no idea he was going to lure me away under false pretences and all the rest she shuddered with disgust I havent had anything to do with men! You make it sound as if I go around inviting their attention.
Brett Harcourt raised a wry eyebrow. You dont have to, Nicola. They attach themselves. So. Whats with Lifeline? And why were you looking so very pensive?
If youve been having me followed, Brett... she said through her teeth.
Youll...? he queried before she could go on.
The desire to make another wild statement gripped her, but she fought it, causing his lips to twist as he watched her with interest.
Were you? she ground out at last.
No. I merely happened to be stopped at that particular traffic light as you came out. Now, if you have decided to add good works to your music he indicated the beautiful harp that stood in the corner of the den your flying lessons, your desire to speak Indonesian and your pottery, Im all for itbut... He paused. Something tells me its not so.
Nicola took a deep breath. I do play that harp, I do speak Indonesian, I love pottery and I enjoy flyingare you trying to belittle me for any specific reason? she asked with a quizzically raised eyebrow.
He shrugged, smiled slightly and ignored the question. Im not disputing that. In fact, Ill go further and say that youre highly intelligent as well as artistic, and your flying instructor reckons youre a natural. It still doesnt explain Lifeline.
Nicola paced around the room and darkly contemplated the fact that it was impossible to hide most things from Brettit always had been. Which made it rather surprising to think that shed been able to hide the most important thing of all from him.
She paused beside the harp and ran her fingers gently across the strings in a glissando, to make a golden bell of sound, then stilled it with her palm and turned to look at him.
He was still sitting on the corner of the desk, idly running his tie through his fingersquite a colourful tie, with red, navy and jade diamonds on it etched in a bone colour that matched his shirt.
But even sitting he was obviously a tall man, who happened to be twelve years her senior with a mind that was razor-sharp. He also had aquiline features, an impressive build and, although he wasnt precisely handsome, once you got to know him you couldnt help but be aware that he had a rare charm when he chose.
And when he didnt choose there was the aura of a powerful intellect combined with a strong physique that gave notice of a man who got his own way frequently.
All in all an irresistible combination, and not only to me, she thought gloomily. To most womenand, even although theyve been divorced for four years, still to Marietta, she suspected...
Nicola?
She focused her gaze on her husband and shrugged. I went to see a marriage counsellor, thats all.
It gave her a fieeting sense of satisfaction to see that she had momentarily stunned him. Then he said a shade grimly, A man?
Yes, he was a manthat threw me at first as well, but
Nicola.
But hes also a minister, and he was very nice, Brett, you dont have to worry on that score.
And what did he advise you to do?
Well, youre really going to enjoy this, she said with simple satire. He advised me to stay put.
For a moment she wondered if her eyes were playing tricks on her, because she could have sworn she saw him relax slightly. Then he said, Not what you wanted to hear, Im sure.
No, she agreed, and shrugged. That doesnt mean to say Ill stick to the letter of his advice.
Nicola, I
Dont, Brett, she said with a sudden, weary little gesture. I have no plans to go anywhere at the moment, but that doesnt mean to say Im reconciled to anything.
He seemed about to say something, then apparently changed his mind and murmured with a humorous little glint, So I can expect you to be here for your twenty-first birthday?
Yes. She shrugged.
You dont sound very enthusiastic.
Im not but Ill probably come round. She studied him unenthusiastically, then a faintly malicious glimmer lit her blue eyes. By the way, dont imagine youve escaped The Wiggles.
Why not? I mean to say, he amended hastily, I never intended to. I did forget.
And then breathed a sigh of relief, no doubt But we didnt watch them.
Brett Harcourt looked at his wife narrowly. How come?
Well, knowing how much you love them, I persuaded your children to let me tape the programme so that we could all watch it together some time tomorrow. Which is a Saturday, in case youve forgotten, and one of the two days of the week you keep inviolate from work or whatever.
Youdid that to me?
Yes, Brett, I did, she responded gravely, then started to laugh. Theyre very good, you know.
If youre a kid. Four young men whove tapped into the kindergarten set and made a fortune, I imagine, he said meditatively. Oh, well.
You could thank me for averting a crisis. Sasha was distraught when you didnt turn up.
Sasha is every bit as histrionic as her mother, Brett Harcourt said a shade grimly.
And getting more and more like her by the day, Nicola agreed with a reminiscent little grin.
How about Chris?
Oh, I think hes going to be a chip off the old block.
He raised an eyebrow at her. Me?
Yes, you.
In what way?
Nicola considered. Hes cleverand practical. He said to Sasha, when she was throwing herself on the floor in floods of tears, Dont be so silly, Sash. If we tape it we can fast-forward all the advertisements.
Brett chuckled softly. Definitely a man after my own heart. What did she say to that?
Well, shes no fool either, Nicola mused with secret laughter lurking in her eyes. She said she liked the advertisements, they gave you a chance to go and get drinks and things, and she couldnt stand the way men imagined they were driving a speed car when they had a remote control in their handsflicking from one channel to another, fast-forwarding things and so on.
Youre kidding. Shes only six.
All the same, in more juvenile terms, thats what she said! Six is old enough to be struck by male failings, apparently. You, for example, are a nightmare to watch television with for just that reason. So is Chris.
Good Lord!
So, there you go. Nicola sat down and pulled the sheaf of bills towards her.
Weve been invited out to lunch on Sunday, by the way, Brett said after a moment.
Anywhere interesting? Can we take the kids?
Of course. The MasonsI believe you met them at the Goodes dinner party a few weeks ago.
Nicola wrinkled her brow. Oh, yes, I remember. Hes a big, bearded bear of a man and shes small and cuddly and given to being embarrassingly frank. She looked amused. Isnt he the new District Court Judge?
The same. Theyve invited us to their house at Buchans Point. They have a pool as well as the beach. The kids should enjoy it.
Sounds nice. Nicola threw down her pen to yawn heartily. I think Ill finish these tomorrow.
Tired? he asked casually as he watched her tuck her feet beneath her.
I dont know why.
The rigours of marriage counselling? he suggested.
I think the rigour was on the other foot, if anything. She grimaced. He was quite bemused.
Lets hope hes quite discreet, Brett said.
He assured me he was.
Brett stood up and stretched. Because I doubt whether youd enjoy featuring in the gossip columns any more than I would, Nicola.
They stared at each for a long moment, until he added, Dont forget, that was the other object of this exerciseto protect your fair name from being dragged through the mud.
And on that properly grateful note she got up and curtseyed Ill take myself to bed, sir!
He said nothing, but his eyes were suddenly cynical and cold.
Dont say it, Nicola warned herself. But, as so often happened, she failed to take her own advicealthough she did manage to sound fairly clinical instead of rashly impassioned. There are times when I hate you, Brett.
I know. He picked up his glass and drained it.
Doesnt it ever bother you?
He set the glass down on the desk, stared at it for a moment, then raised his eyes to hers. There was so much amusement in them now, she caught her breath at the same time as a little frisson ran down her spine. A frisson of awareness that she despised herself for but couldnt help, because Brett Harcourt did that to her even when he laughed at her.
No, Nicola. You remind me of Sasha, actually. She often hates me when she doesnt get her own way. Why dont you go to bed? You not only sound tired and cross, you look it.
She opened her mouth, then bit her lip and walked past him. But he put out a hand and closed it round her wrist. Good thinking, he said with soft satire, then genuinely laughed at her expression. OK, OK, Im sorry! Of course you dont remind me of Sasha, that was tit for tat, but there is nothing on earth for you to be in a state about.
They were very close-close enough for Nicola to see the little golden flecks in his eyes and feel that frisson of awareness grow into something stronger as his lean, strong fingers moved on the soft skin of her inner wrist.
If you say so, Brett, she murmured colourlessly, and removed her gaze from the line of his shoulders beneath the bone-coloured shirt, hoping and praying at the same time that he had no idea what the strong column of his throat and those broad shoulders sometimes did to herevoking an erotic little desire to explore them with her fingertips and follow that trail with her lips.
He released her abruptly. I do. Goodnight, Nicola.
But something stopped her from moving immediately, something that made her look at him fleetingly, into his eyes, to discover that everythingthe amusement and everything elsehad been leached from his expression so that it was like looking at a blank wall.
Goodnight, Brett, she said then, quietly and evenly, and slipped away.
Brett Harcourt stood in the same spot for some moments and wondered, as hed found himself wondering from time to time over the last two years, if his wife was essentially naive and genuinely had no idea how attractive and desirable most men found her. Because it was true that he couldnt accuse her of appearing to have much interest in men at all, although hed been right about her effect on them.
But was it something she still had to grow into? he mused. Or had this marriage of convenience been even more successful than hed thought, from the point of view of keeping the daughter of a man hed admired immensely safe? But safe in an ivory tower?
He stared at nothing for a moment, then shrugged.
CHAPTER TWO
SUNDAY dawned clear and hot, although not nearly so hot as Cairns could get. May was one of the nicest months in the far north of Queensland, Nicola often thought. By May the threat of cyclones had receded, the stingers and box jellyfish were removing their deadly tentacles from beaches and the weather was generally cooler and dryerif not exactly autumnal by southern standards. Although shed been brought up in Cairns, there was no doubt the hot steamy summers took their toll.
She walked out onto the veranda and absorbed the view.
Brett Harcourt had built a house at Yorkeys Knob, a northern beach suburb of Cairns dominated by a small, steep and wooded headlandthe Knob. Hed built his house on the Knob to take in spectacular views of the ocean, as well as the cane fields, of which he owned a large slice, that stretched inland to the range. Sugar cane was not his only investment. He owned banana and avocado plantations, as well as mango farmsfor that matter, so did she.
But it was not the injustice of having her inheritance in someone elses hands until she was twenty-three that was on her mind as she gazed at the view, it was only how lovely it all was that preoccupied her.
Out to sea there were magic reefs and cays, not visible at this distance, but once youd visited them they stayed in your mind whenever you looked out. Michaelmas Cay, Upoloa lovely little hoop of pale gold sand in a turquoise sea studded with coralGreen Island, Arlington Reef, and to the north Batt and Tongue Reefs, the Low Isles, Agincourt Reef and many more as the Great Barrier Reef rose from the depths of the Coral Sea.
Closer to home to the north was Trinity Beach and Palm Cove on the mainland, then Buchans Pointthe venue for lunch today. And the Range, cloaked in its dense, dark green foliage, rose majestically behind them to Kuranda and the Atherton Tablelands.
The other advantage of having a house on the Knob was the wonderful privacy. The road was actually above their roof level, and their neighbours were hidden by a glorious tangle of tropical shrubbery: pink, purple and white bougainvillaea, yellow allamanda and scarlet poinsettia. There were palm trees and causurinas on the front lawn, and beyond, a sheer drop down to the sea.
She breathed the clear, sparkling air deeply and turned to look at the house. Built on two levels in a mixture of stone, timber and glass, it blended well with the hillside and made the most of the wonderful views. The upper level, containing the bedrooms and where she was now standing, had its own deck around the front of the house, whilst the lower level opened onto a paved terrace with an in-ground pool and a thatched open barbecue pavilion. There were big terracotta pots scattered about, in which Nicola grew flowering perennials, and some flourishing pandanus palms.
Louvred doors onto the deck and terrace, as well as simple cotton blinds, let the air flow through the house as well as giving it a slightly Oriental air. The floors inside were all sealed timber or polished slate, and the rooms were uncluttered to minimise the heat but furnished beautifully, with a mixture of modern and colonial. Curiously, the fact that some of it had been Mariettas doing didnt offend Nicola.
There was also a garden for the children, a shed and a kiln for her pottery, and a shady, secretive courtyard outside the front door that was definitely Oriental in design and a delight to Nicola. More of her pottery pots and most of her statues ended up in it, and she grew herbs, lemon trees in tubs, impatiens, and miniature capsicum and chillies beneath a magnificent tree that was at present a blaze of bloom and spreading a pink carpet on the uneven tiles that surrounded it.
The sight of a small face at her bedroom doorway, which was instantly whisked away, alerted her. She waited a couple of moments, then padded back to her room silently and sneaked up to the bed that now had two still mounds beneath the covers. She fell on the bed, causing screams and loud gurgles of laughter to emanate as the mounds wriggled joyfully and they all ended up in a heap.
Whos been sleeping in my bed? Nicola demanded, feigning utter surprise.
You knew, you knew! Chris, short for Christian, chanted.
How could she know? his sister contradicted, coming up for air. We didnt make a sound. We didnt even breathe!
I bet you she knew
OK. Nicola gathered them on either side of her and plumped up the pillows. Lets not start the day with a fight. How about a song instead? Lets see...
They sang The Teddy Bears Picnic, then, because The Wiggles were such a hot topic, embarked on one of their songs about a dog that barked all day and night. They sang the chorus with great gusto and much hilarity, alternating from basso profondo to a shrill, scratchy falsetto.
All right, all right! Brett Harcourt appeared at the doorway with his hair hanging in his eyes, wearing only a pair of sleep shorts and with blue shadows on his jaw. Doesnt anyone in this house believe its Sunday?
Nicola said through her laughter, Sorry, but they both have perfect pitch, you know!
Sasha and Chris leapt off the bed to besiege their father, and presently to partake peaceably of a late breakfast, and then get through the whole traumatic business of being dressed and groomed for an outing without one squabble.
There. Nicola slung a large bag into the back of the BMW between the children and stood for a moment with her hand on her hip.
She wore a filmy beige and white paisley overshirt and white linen drawstring pants. Her hair was in a simple knot and she had beige canvas rope-soled espadrilles on her feet. She held up a finger for each item. Ive got two spare sets of clothing, sun-cream, hats, togs, buckets, spades, toys in case they get bored, booksIve got the lot.
She swung herself into the front seat and exchanged a wry glance with her husband, who said, Its like moving an army.
Youre not wrong. Now listen, kids, she said over her shoulder, were going to visit Mr and Mrs Mason for lunch. Dont forget your manners, will you?
I never do, Sasha said proudly and pointedly.
Course you do, Chris responded. Who threw a plate of jelly at?
That was because he pulled my hair! And dont forget the time you spat at
Kids, Brett said, mildly enough, but they subsidedas they always did for Brett, Nicola thought ruefully.
Wish I had you around more often, she murmured with a faint grin, and glanced at him expressively.
Gone was the dishevelment of earlier. He was shaved, his brown hair was orderly and he wore a brown and white striped T-shirt, off-white thin cotton jeans and white deck shoes. The hairs on his arms, she noted, glinted chestnut in the sun.
I might not be so effective thenfamiliarity could dull the edge.
I doubt it. Theyre always good for you.
Do you find them such a handful, Nicola? he asked after a moment. By the way, I presume Im forgiven?
For last night? She shrugged. Yes. You know I dont find them a handful, she added with more warmth. And on the odd occasion that I do, she said honestly, Ive always got Ellen to fall back on. Ellen doubled as housemaid and babysitter, and had been with the children since birth.
I just wondered, he said slowly, whether they had anything to do with your seeking counselling. Whether you felt tied down, were yearning for a career or something like that, he said, before she could speak.
Nicola paused. I never could decide whether I wanted to be a potter, a pilot or a musicianthats strange, isnt it? No. Its not that, Brett.
But what would you do if you left us?
The question hung in the airair that rushed by as they drove up the highway past Palm Cove towards Buchans Point with the roof down. And it was a question that affected Nicola suddenly and curiously. Was it because, she wondered, it was the first time Brett had actually asked her? Not in the context of pointing out her lack of purpose in life, or her unwisdom et cetera, but just as a simple, genuine enquiry?
And it came to her with a little stab of shock that perhaps he was entertaining the idea of her leaving...
I...I could start my own gallery, she said at random. A lot of people are very taken with my pottery.
Anything else?
She cast around in her mind a little desperately. Before anything presented itself, she remembered suddenly that Brett had gone out the night before, alone, and come home very late. Well after midnight, in fact, as shed seen on the luminous dial of her bedside clock when the opening and closing of the garage doors had woken her brieflysomething she hadnt recalled until now.
Not that there was anything particularly unusual in it. She often went out with girlfriends, and he didnt always include her in his socialising, but...had this been a different kind of socialising, with a woman? she found herself wondering. A woman he was serious about? Serious enough to be contemplating putting an end to this marriage of convenience. But what about Marietta? she thought. And...
Nicola?
She jerked her eyes to his to find his gaze narrow and probing, but all he said was, Were here.
Oh, sorry. She shrugged, but it was a long moment before she could tear her gaze away from his. Then she got out of the car and helped the children out.
Now, lets see. She straightened Sashas pretty sun-dress and smoothed her red-brown curls. You look gorgeous, darling, she said, and turned to Chris. Whereas you are very handsome, young man!
Both children exuded gratification and put their hands into hers, leaving their father to deal with the large bag.
And that was what the Masons, Rod and Kim, as well as their resident guest, saw advancing up the garden path as they opened their front door, causing Kim Mason, in her forthright way, to say, Nicola, dear, welcome! But how can you possibly be old enough to have two children this age?
Oh, shes not our mother, Sasha piped up with a world-weary air. Shes our aunt.
Sasha. Nicola frowned down at her. Im not your aunt, Im your stepmother. Where did you get that idea?
Excuse mehow silly of me, Kim murmured, but Sasha was not to be denied.
I scussed this with my friend Emma, and we decided you cant be any kind of a mother, Nicola, because you dont do the things mummies do.
Course she does, Chris said witheringly. Who makes us clean our teeth three times a day and washes our ears and makes us eat our crusts?
Thats not all mummies do, Sasha replied with a superior air. They look after their kids dads as well. They kiss and cuddle them, and they sleep in the same bed with them
Sasha, Brett said from behind a frozen Nicola, thatll be enough, thank you.
But what would Chris know about it? Hes only a silly little boy who doesnt even go to school yetand thats why we decided, me and Emma, that shes got to be an aunt! Sasha finished triumphantly.
Instead of falling into a convenient hole that might magically open up at her feet, Nicola had no alternative but to proceed with the day. To pretend as if Sasha had never spoken and ignore the bemusement in their hosts expressions, until they hurriedly masked it, gracefully acknowledging the introduction of the other guesta man of about thirty who was visiting the Masons from Sydney and was in some way related to Kim. His name was Richard Holloway.
Brett did the same, and before long they were seated on a shaded terrace beside the pool, with Ellis Beach below them, stretching northward beside a sparkling sea, sipping aperitifs as the children splashed happily in the water.
As if to make up for the incredible revelations she had unwittingly unleashed, Kim talked non-stop to Nicola while the three men talked cricket.
Then, to Nicolas relief, Kim drew her husband away to deal with the barbecue and commanded Richard to replenish everyones drinks.
Brett said into the sudden silence, All right?
Yes. No. I had no idea... Their gazes locked and Nicola found herself going hot and cold again as the truly mortifying thought of people wondering whether she did or didnt sleep with Brett crossed her mind.
No, Nicola, its not anything you might be thinking, he said, and he scanned the tense way she was sitting. She looked lovely enough to tempt any man, he thought, and then also thought, Theyre probably wondering if Im mad... Because its not anyones business but our own, he added.
How...how do you know what I was thinking? she asked.
He smiled a little wryly. You looked intensely embarrassed.
I felt itdidnt you?
He shrugged philosophically. Im older and probably tougher. It was also out of the mouths of babes, so to speak.
Isnt that a euphemism for an uncanny ability to see the truth? I told you she was no fool.
Obviously not, he said dryly.
You mustnt be cross with her, Nicola responded swiftly. She doesnt understand the implications of what she said. Its simply something she noticed and found strange.
Im not cross with her. Or only for inheriting her mothers ability to lack any sense of tact or diplomacy.
Nicola found her lips twisting involuntarily. Its the kind of situation Marietta would enjoy. By the way, whens she due home?
When she suffers some pangs of maternal longing, probably, he said cynically.
Nicola said nothing for a time. Marietta swooped in and out of her childrens lives like a brilliant bird of paradise. And, unnatural as it might seem, they adored her when she was around and appeared to accept her absence with equanimity. She had a unit in town, where they went to stay with her to be shamelessly indulged, but they cast it all off like a second skin when they came back to their father.
That theyd only been two and one when the breakup of the marriage had occurred might account for it, Nicola sometimes thought. But it was hard to see why Marietta had bothered to have children, unless Brett had insisted...
Yet, so long as she didnt have to be tied down by them, she was genuinely fond of them. She wrote to them often, rang them from strange places and brought home marvellous exotic gifts for them.
But thats Marietta for you, she thought as she accepted another drink from Richard Holloway. Kim and Rod did not return, so, while the men started discussing politics this time, she was able to think her own thoughts.
She remembered her fathers bemusement at Bretts decision to marry Marietta Otway, daughter of his best friend. Brett had been twenty-five, Marietta the same age; Nicola herself had been thirteen.
Why? shed asked her father.
Well, its obvious why. Shes talented, spirited and very beautiful, hed said with some irritation.
So why dont you approve?
Hed shrugged uneasily. You know her. She was babysitting you for pocket money from the time she was sixteen. Shesobsessive, wouldnt you agree?
About her music, yes. Nicola had smiled reminiscently. She gave me my first piano lesson when I was four. But
And now shes obsessive about Brett. But I just cant help wondering how marriage is going to fit in with her main obsessionher music.
Nicola had said slowly, and with no acrimony, You look upon Brett as the son you never had, dont you, Dad?
Her father had ruffled her hair. Im very fond of him and very proud of him. When you think how he had to battle his way through school, let alone law school, despite the Rotary Scholarship
Which you were responsible for.
Yes, well, Id never encountered such a sharp mind before, such a determination to succeed. When his father was lost in a yachting accident at sea he was only twelve, and the oldest of five children, but the support he gave his mother and his younger brothers and sisters was amazing. He was picking mangoes and avocados in his spare time, sorting prawns and so onbut I have only one child dear to my heart, and thats you.
Two weeks later theyd gone to Brett and Mariettas wedding. At the reception, at a smart restaurant, Nicola had found herself observing the bride and groom with her fathers misgivings in mind.
Marietta had been married in a lime-green figure-hugging Thai silk suit that had set off her glorious red hair admirably. Shed glowed, obviously radiantly happy, but, Nicola had noticed, she and Brett had almost steered clear of each other, and Nicola had wondered why.
Then, when they had come together to cut the cake, theyd looked into each others eyes, and to her teenage eyes it had been as if something white-hot existed between them in that brief glance, something almost dangerous that couldnt be allowed to be exposed in public.
Not long after the wedding Nicola had been sent to boarding school in Brisbane, a thousand miles away, and her dealings with Brett and Marietta had been limited. But she had noticed, when Sasha was born, that Marietta seemed to be obsessive about motherhood in her unique way. Then Chris had arrived, only twelve months later, and after another twelve months had come the bombshell that Brett and Marietta were separating.
I knew it, her father had said exasperatedly.
But Chris is only a baby! How can she?
Theyve come to an agreement. The children will spend the bulk of their time with Brett, allowing her the licence to get her career back on track, hed said sardonically.
But I thought she liked having children.
It was a novelty, thats all.
Nicola had thought deeply. By then seventeen, shed had more of an understanding of that strange, searing little look shed intercepted between Brett and Marietta on their wedding day, but shed found herself understanding this turn of events even less. So dont they love each other any more?
Her father had sighed. They may do, but shes determined to have it on her terms or not at all, and Brett...Well, he didnt get where he is without his own kind of iron determination.
By this time Brett had been made a partner in her fathers law firm. Indeed, he was the active partner, whose expertise had brought some big and prestigious clients to act for, and her father was coming to rely on him more and more as his health failed.
At eighteen Nicola had left boarding school, and, because of her fathers poor health, she insisted on spending the last six months of his life as his constant companion, instead of starting a Bachelor of Arts degree as shed planned. This had brought her into close contact with Brett and his childrenBrett had been marvellous, right up to the end and beyond.
And she often thought it was during those sad months that shed fallen in love with Brett Harcourt. But it was on the understanding that what was between him and Marietta was not resolved, and that somehow things would be patched up.
Shed spent a lot of time with his children, though, during the restless months after her fathers death, often staying with them rather than rattling around home alone. She had done this not only on his account, but the childrens, and Mariettas too. It had been like having two waning members of her own family around, both of whom she loved.
She couldnt forget all the years shed known Marietta. Could never forget how Marietta had flown home for her fathers funeral to play some of his favourite pieces. They had brought him so vividly to mind, yet in the way theyd been playedso exquisitely and gentlyhad laid him to rest in her heart, even though she still suffered, and had no idea what she wanted to do with her suddenly empty life.
Brett had suggested university again, but she hadnt wanted to commit herself. She wasnt even sure whether shed agreed to a Bachelor of Arts in the first place only to please her father. Shed suggested an overseas trip, but Brett had vetoed it, saying she was too young to go on her own. That was when shed first discovered that she might love Brett Harcourt, but it didnt prevent her from being in discord with him...
Indeed, that was what shed thrown at him after shed drifted into company with a fast set of so-called friendsanother cause for disagreement between themand, without quite understanding how, had got herself so embarrassingly compromised by a man of whom, ever since, the mere thought made her shudder.
It had all been so trite and sordid.
A party of them had been going up to the Tablelands for a long weekend, or so shed been led to think. But no one else had turned up, and shed found herself alone, in a remote cabin, fending off the distinctly amorous and then frighteningly violent attentions of a man who called her a rich, spoilt little bitch and speculated that she was Brett Harcourts mistressshe certainly spent enough time at his house, and it was already the subject of some comment around town, wasnt it?
Nicola had suddenly been more horrified than frightened, and this had given her the momentum to slap his face, then storm off proudly when hed drawled that shed have to find her own way home.
That was something she hadnt been able to do without calling on Brett for help when shed finally found a phone.
The interview that had followed as hed driven her back to Cairns had been deadly. How could she have been such a fool? Hadnt he warned her about the company she was keeping and the men she was going out with? What did she think she looked like, wandering around the countryside dusty and dishevelled with her dress torn?
That was when shed thrown the idea of an overseas trip at him in her anger and shame.
Hed driven her straight to Yorkeys Knob, but as hed been about to get out of the car shed swallowed suddenly and said, No, not here...please.
Why?
I just cant. But her face had burned, and something in the way shed refused to look at him had made him pause. Then hed said unemotionally that hed take her home and had done so. Only once there hed proceeded to insist on being told everything. But, instead of being shocked and disgusted by the news of the kind of gossip they were the subject of, hed merely said that she should have a shower and get changed because he planned to take her out to dinner.
And it had been over dinner, when she was much calmer and no longer feeling such a fool, that hed proposed marriageof a kind.
She could still remember the blue linen tablecloth and the steady flame of a candle in a glass, the music in the background and the dress shed wornblack with white flowers, a high little mandarin collar and a row of pearl buttons down the front. Her hair had been lying on her shoulders, clean and slightly fluffy because she hadnt had time to dry it properly.
She remembered the half-eaten butterfly prawns shed ordered, the glass of wine shed been toying with. And her first shocked responseWhat about Marietta?
He smiled dryly. Thats all over. Didnt you know? He looked at her ironically.
But is that why its only to be aa fake marriage?
No. Its because youre too young to be marrying anyone, Nicola, but at least this way youll be able to be comfortable and happy, and doing something you obviously enjoy.
She picked up her wine glass, then looked challengingly at him over the rim. Taking care of your children?
Mariettas too. And its not that Ill expect you to be a babysitter-cum-governess, he went on. You can do whatever you like, but with you there theyre happy, and so are you. Arent you?
Yes. But for how long?
He shrugged. As long as it seems necessary. You could even do a part time university course if you wanted to. And if it doesnt appeal to youwell, at least youll know youve given it a shot.
You sound like my father.
He said nothing for a long moment, then added, It is something he would have wanted you to do. By the way, Nicola, it would be an honour to have you gracing my house.
Her eyes widened, and that was when the first rash seed of hope sprouted. But she immediately cautioned herself against believing anything. Just say you fall in love, or I fall in lovetomorrow, for example. She gestured.
I dont think thats liable to happen to me, but I promise to tell you if it does, he said gravely. And if it happens for you, I still think you should wait a while before you allow yourself to believe its the love of your life.
She shrugged and chewed her lip, then, with the first glint of humour in her eyes for quite a while, said, At the moment Im thoroughly turned off men, believe me. But she frowned just say it did happenmightnt it complicate things incredibly? Having to explain that I am married but not really, kind of thing, let alone having to go through annulments and whatever?
Not for a man who really loves you, no.
She blinked, then heard herself saying, I dont know what else to do. I feel like a ship without a rudder. I suppose because I was an only child and I dont even remember my mother...thats why... She sighed. We used to do so much together, Dad and I. Wed planned to go overseas together when I finished school.
I know. I envied you.
Did you? For some reason it came as a surprise, and she studied him curiously. Hed left his work to rescue her, and still wore a pale green long-sleeved shirt, fawn trousers and a dark red tie with little green elephants on it. He looked so much a man of the world, so quietly assured and in command, it was hard to imagine him envying her in any way, let alone proposing marriage to her.
She said suddenly, I think my father looked upon you as the son he never had. He denied it, but it was true, all the same. She took a sip of wine, then twirled the glass in her fingers.
You didnt mind? He watched her narrowly.
No. What do you think hed have made of this, though? She returned his gaze steadily.
I think, Nicola... he said, and paused. I think hed rest easily to know wed devised a way of getting you through these difficult yearsand they can be difficult years for anyone, not least for someone as alone in the world as you aresafely and happily.
All the same, its fraud of a kind, she murmured a little dryly, and formed her slender hands into a steeple on the table. Although it remains to be seen whether we fool anyone. And there was that glint of challenge in her deep blue eyes again.
They may draw their own conclusions, but he smiled slightly, a cool twisting of his lips that was curiously intimidating I can assure you theyd think twice about expressing them, let alone treating you with anything but respect.
Her brows rose. You sound quite formidable, Brett.
He said nothing, only looked lazily amused, but if anything that reinforced her growing understanding that he was formidable when he wanted to be.
Uh... She hesitated. There is one person who might be entitled to express all sorts of reservations on the subjectthey are her children, too.
Leave Marietta to me, he said evenly.
But I think I should know whether you intend to tell her the truth or not, Brett?
Marietta waived certain rights, Nicola, when she walked out on her children, but, if its OK with you, all I would do is present her with a fait accompli. I cant see her not being delighted to have you there for Sasha and Chris. He raised an eyebrow at her. Is that a yes?
.
.
, (https://www.litres.ru/lindsay-armstrong/he-s-my-husband/) .
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Lindsay Armstrong
Marriage in jeopardy Nicola was married to Brett Harcourt - but only just! She had some strong competition - his first wife wanted a reconciliation, and his new female colleague had designs on him, too. Nicola had the law on her side, but did she have Brett's love? He'd married her out of convenience - he'd never even taken her to bed! In view of the competition, it seemed Nicola didn't have a look-in.But she loved Brett, their home and his children, and the time had come to show everyone - including Brett - exactly whose husband he really was!
Going to tell me? (#u3751a6c8-6a4b-5b41-8f27-9afaf9bf7c5d)About the Author (#u73c25736-cca1-5f75-9def-97149033b590)Title Page (#uca7807b3-a81b-52f4-8bfb-493d846d3108)CHAPTER ONE (#ua7dd0e55-1ae3-5ba9-a092-b0adfc0c1da0)CHAPTER TWO (#u9d526724-3084-510f-931c-65ad252f3d77)CHAPTER THREE (#litres_trial_promo)CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Going to tell me?
Nicola chewed her lip. No.
So its something else I dont need to worry about?
No. I mean, no, you dont have to worry.
He raised an amused eyebrow. Id still rather know.
Brett, dont be difficult, she protested.
It... wasnt anything much.
All the more reason not to want to hide it from me, he countered mildly.
She clicked her tongue frustratedly. Youre impossible. All right, but dont blame me if you dont like it. I was wondering-just as a natural impulse, what it would be like if we...made love. Thats all.
LINDSAY ARMSTRONG was born in South Africa but now lives in Australia with her New Zealand-born husband and their five children. They have lived in nearly every state of Australia and tried their hand at some unusual-for themoccupations, such as farming and horse training, all grist to the mill for a writer! Lindsay started writing romances when their youngest child began school and she was left feeling at a loose end. She is still doing it and loving it.
Hes My Husband!
Lindsay Armstrong
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
CHAPTER ONE
THE marriage counsellor was a man in his middle to late thirties.
Nicola Harcourt looked doubtful, and sat down reluctantly. Shed begun to regret this impulse almost as soon as shed stepped over the doorstep, but now more than ever. A comfortable, middle-aged woman was whom shed envisaged talking to, a mother figure, perhaps, definitely not a man, and a youngish one at that.
How may I help you? the man asked, and smiled ruefully at her obvious wariness. Im the Reverend Peter Callam. He looked at her enquiringly.
I think Ill stick to first names, if you dont mind. Im Nicola.
Thats fine with me, Nicola. Does it help to know that Im a minister of religion and Ive had specific training in helping troubled marriages?
Oh. Nicolas expression cleared a little. Well, yes, she conceded, then shrugged. The thing is, Im not sure I should be doing this.
When one is desperate its a very good idea to talk things over with a third party who can take an impartial view
Im not desperate, Nicola broke in to say.
Then youre concerned your husband would not appreciate your doing this?
Nicola grinned. Im sure he wouldnt But that doesnt really bother me.
Peter Callam took a moment to study her and to form the impression that this Nicola was unusually attractive. Twenty-one at the most, he guessed, with fair shining hair in a smooth straight fall to below her shoulders, she had deep blue eyes with an exotic fringe of lashes expertly darkened, a straight little nose and a chiselled mouth innocent of any lipstick.
There was also a patina not only of health in her smooth, glowing skin and bright eyes, but wealth in her beautifully cut clothes: a short grey and white checked A-line dress under a charcoal linen jacket with a grey stripe, black leather platform shoes with high chunky heels that emphasised a pair of long golden legs, a black leather tote bag and a pair of designer sunglasses resting on top of her head.
Her only jewellery was a narrow gold wedding band on her left hand.
He frowned slightly and decided to take the direct approach. If youre not desperate then why are you here?
Nicola moved in her chair. I am, in a way. The thing is... She paused, shook her head and sighed. I want to leave my husband, who is not the slightest bit in love with me anyway.
The marriage counsellor clasped his hands on the desk. You mean hes fallen out of love with you? He has other womenhe abuses you?
Nicola blinked, an expression of surprise chasing through her deep blue eyes. He never lays a finger on me. Hes...rather nicewhen, that is she paused to chew her lip, a rather endearing trait Peter Callam found himself thinking, despite himself hes not being perfectly horrible to me.
Ah. He sat up. Mental cruelty can be as bad as the physical kind, and certainly grounds for some kind of intervention.
Nicola wrinkled her nose. Its not that kind of mental cruelty, she said with a spark of amusement. He...were not really married. I mean, we are, but it was a marriage of convenience, so we live separate lives in the same house kind of thing. She stopped, then added prosaically, Weve never slept together.
I see. Why did he marry you, then?
Im good with his kids.
The marriage counsellor gazed at her bemusedly. And thats the only reason he married you?
Nicola moved again, uncomfortably this time. Oh, well, she murmured, I might as well be hanged for a sheep. This is completely confidential, I presume? She eyed him with some hauteur.
Completely.
Well, hes also my trustee. He was my fathers partner, and when my father died-my mother died when I was twohe took over the reins, so to speak. And when Iergot myself into a very awkward situation with a man two years ago he saidhe suggested a marriage of convenience. I inherited rather a lot of money, you see, which made me the target ofwell, I wont go into that, but... She gestured.
And now you want out?
Would you care to be married for your child-handling abilities and only to keep you out of trouble? Nicola asked with a lift of an eyebrow.
Probably not, but it seems to me all you need is to get yourself a good lawyer and get your marriage annulled on the grounds of it never being consummated.
Nicola eyed him. Its not that simple. For one thing, my husband is the best lawyer in town. For another, the provisions of my fathers will dont allow me to touch my inheritance until Im twenty-three. And, because my husband is also my trustee, hes not only my husband but myjailer, if you see what I mean.
He holds the purse strings, in other words?
Precisely. Youre fairly quick on the uptake, Reverend, she said, with that glimmer of humour in her eyes again.
And I cant quite imagine the man who wouldnt want a peach of a girl like you, Nicola, the Reverend Peter Callam thought, and flinched inwardly. He said, Im at a bit of a loss, however, Nicola. I generally try to patch marriages up, not break them down, but...are you saying hed cast you out without a cent if you refused to stay married to him until youre twenty-three?
I wouldnt put it past him, Nicola replied darkly, then grimaced. No, of course he wouldnt, but he just wont believe that I can take care of myself. He treats me as if I were one of his kids at times.
These childrendont they have a mother?
Yes, they do. She was his first wife. They got divorced a few years ago. They had a very turbulent marriage; shes a classical pianist and extremely beautifulbut quite mad, if you want my opinion, Nicola said candidly. And, because she spends a lot of time overseas on concert tours, the children spend a lot more time with their fatherwhich is where I come in.
You know their mother well?
Ive known her all my life. I like her, despite the fact I think shes as mad as a hatter.
How many children are there? Peter Callam asked cautiously, feeling a sudden kinship with Alice in Wonderland.
Two. A girl of six and a boy of five. Theyre very naughty and very lovable. Nicolas lips curved into a warm smile.
So you wouldnt like to traumatise themwould I be right in assuming that? he said slowly, but with a keen little glance at Nicola.
She sat forward suddenly. What I would really like is to get out of this farce of a marriage as amicably as possible. Id like to see them all happythe children, B...my husband, and their mother.
The first wife? Peter Callam blinked. But surely?
Surely, yes, Nicola said, and looked briefly saddened.
Then she went on. The thing is, they may not be able to live together, but Im sure he doesnt want to get seriously involved with anyone elseand thats why Im so suitable. I run his house, look after his children, Im his hostess when he needs one, and any... she paused and shrugged ...physical needs he has are taken care of by a series of sophisticated mistresses whose eyes, she said with great feeling, Im seriously tempted to scratch out at times!
He parades his mistresses in front of you?
No, he doesnt, Nicola said impatiently. But Im not a fool. Im sure they must exist. He has an awful lot going for him.
All the same, why would you want to scratch the eyes out of these possibly mythical mistresses if youre so determined to leave him?
The question fell into a pool of silence, and Nicola paled slightly but didnt attempt to drop her blue gaze from his. Then she said huskily, The thing is, I fell in love with himthats why I agreed to this marriage. I thought, in my youth and immaturity She grimaced. I thought I could make the fairy tale come true and supplant M...his first wife in his heart. But he never did fall in love with me and he never will. Now do you see, Reverend?
Yes. Im sorry, Nicola, he said compassionately. But
No. She lifted a hand. If youre going to offer me platitudes and tell me not to give up hope, dont bother. Ill be twenty-one in two short weeks time; Ive been married to him for two yearsI know when Im beaten.
Nicola stopped and smiled slightly. Im not being very fair to you, am I? But, if its any help to you, its been a bit of a help to me to actually say all thisget it off my chest. She looked wry.
Thank you, Peter Callam murmured. But Im still confused. How long does he plan to keep you in a marriage of convenience? Because Im wondering whether he deserves your love, this man, if hesforgive methat insensitive apart from anything else, when he knows how you feel, but
Oh, he doesnt know, Nicola said blithely.
He doesnt? Peter Callam blinked.
You dont think She broke off and laughed. I may have been young and immature, but I wasnt so immature as to let him see I was madly in love with him.
I see.
Well, wouldnt you have?
Hidden my real feelings? Peter Callam said slowly. I...
She chuckled after a moment. Its an awkward one, isnt it, Reverend? But I can assure you that if you have an ounce of pride, when youre presented with a very definite marriage of convenience, despite all your dreams, you do tend to hide things.
I believe you, Nicola. Yet, he said thoughtfully, despite this show of spirited rebellion he raised an eyebrow and after a moment she nodded ruefully all along you were hoping hed fall in love with you?
Her eyes sparkled humorously again. I dont fight him all the time. Sometimes we get on like a house on fire.
Sounds as if he takes good care of you, then.
He does. Its not the kind of care I want taken of me, though.
Why is that, do you think?
Nicola considered. Not because hes nurturing a secret passion, unfortunately, Reverend, she said at last. Its because of my father. Not only were they partners, but he had great admiration for my fatherhe wouldnt be where he is today without Daddys help. I think he looks upon it as a way of repaying a debt to my father.
Nicola Peter Callam sat forward intently this is the last kind of advice I normally give, believe me, but if you do love this man, if you seriously think hes worthy of your love, there is a time-honoured way of getting a man to reveal himself. Not only to others, but to himself.
Nicola blinked. How?
If he thought you were interested in someone else, that might just...do the trick. I dont believe I said that, the Reverend Callam thought, no sooner had he said it, but this golden girl touched him; he couldnt deny it.
Nicola wrinkled her brow. Make him jealous? That doesnt sound very Christian, if you dont mind me saying so, Reverend.
Peter Callam flinched again, then he had to laugh. Youre right, but desperate situations require desperate means at times. Not that I would advise you to actually
Commit adultery? Nicola suggested with some irony.
Most certainly not. Um...does anyone know how things stand? His first wife, for example?
No one really knows, although some people might suspect. Im not sure what Marietta thinks. Shes usually amazingly, even embarrassingly forthright, but she just Nicola shrugged wished me luck and carried on as if it was a fait accompli. I suppose, if you look at it another way, its also her children Im good with, she added ruefully.
But you suspect she may still be in love with him?
I think theres a kind of fatal attraction between them and there always will be.
I still feel you shouldnt walk away from this marriage without one last test, he said stubbornly.
You probably dont think I can take care of myself either, Nicola observed.
I dont think its a bad thing to be preserved from fortune-hunters until youre twenty-three, Nicola. Its no great age. And you never know.
Nicola stood up and regarded him quizzically, as if to say, I might have known. What she did say was, Look, dont you worry about it, Reverend. I always knew there wasnt going to be an easy solution. Not that that will stop me from trying to find one. But thanks for listening. I feel a bit guilty about taking up your time. Im sure there are much more worthy causes and desperate women you could really help.
Peter Callam stood up and handed her a card. My time, he said quietly, is always available to those in need, even if its only to listen.
Nicola stared at him, then smiled at him radiantly. Its people like you, Reverend, who restore ones faith. Thanks a million. With that, she left.
Brett Harcourt drummed his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel of his sapphire-blue BMW convertible as he waited at a traffic light. The hood was down, although, for Cairns, it was a cooler day than the fierce heat of summer. He was late for an appointment, and every traffic light, this one included, had gone against him at the last minuteand this one took an age to change, he well knew.
Then he frowned as his gaze rested on someone coming out of the Lifeline offices opposite himhis wife. But she didnt cross the road in front of him, although for her the light was green. Instead, she stopped on the pavement and just stood there, obviously lost in thought.
As usual, although she might be miles away mentally, she was turning a few heads, he observed dryly. Men slowed as they walked past, then looked back. Girls and women looked too, no doubt marvelling at the simple elegance of her clothes, the beautiful, lithe body beneath, the gloss of her skin and hair, maybe wondering if she was a top model or a film star.
But what the hell has she been doing at Lifeline? Brett Harcourt wondered. Looking for some new and devious way to give me the slip? Unless shes decided to include good works in her repertoire of unusual activities...
He was about to hail her when he realised the light had changed and the traffic behind him was getting restive. He swore beneath his breath and moved off fast. But he noticed out of the corner of his eye as he did so that she didnt even look up.
As for Nicola, she came out of her reverie and decided to treat herself to lunch in town.
She left her car where it was parked and walked to the Pier, where she chose Pescis, an Italian waterfront restaurant, overlooking the Marlin Marina. Not that there was a lot left of the marina. A cyclone earlier in the year had washed away the pontoons, leaving only the piles.
But it would be rebuilt, for it had famous associations, the Marlin Marina, with people like the late Lee Marvin, who had come to Nicolas home town of Cairns, in far North Queensland, to set out in pursuit of the fabulous black marlin in the tropical waters of the Coral Sea.
Pescis was always busy, and today was no exception, but she found a table on the veranda and ordered a light lunchchopped cooked tomato and basil on toasted bread.
While she waited for it, and sipped mineral water, she fiddled absently with her wedding ring and thought back over her interview with the Reverend Peter Callambut, more particularly, on the impulse that had made her go in the first place.
I suppose it was because I can never talk to Brett about it, she mused. Not that Ive tried for a while, but it always ended up in an argument... I must have been mad...
She looked down at the gold ring on her left hand. It had never been accompanied by an engagement ringshed insisted she didnt want one, that it would be a bit ridiculous, because they could hardly call themselves engaged when they were to get married within a bare week of Brett proposing the marriage of convenience quite out of the blue to her. And, finally, werent engagement rings a token of love?
Shed asked her husband-to-be this with a dangerous little glint in her blue eyes, which hed observed placidly, then hed shrugged and murmured that it was up to her. But hed gone on to say that their wedding would not be a hole-and-corner affair if she had that in mind as well.
But surely you dont want all the trimmings? shed protested. I certainly dont.
What would you like? hed countered. Dont forget we need to make some kind of a statement, after whats happened to you and what people are saying.
Well... Shed coloured. Something quiet and dignified.
A look of amusement had flickered in his eyes, causing her to say rashly, Im quite capable of being dignified, Brett.
Oh, I believe you, although I sometimes prefer you when youre not, but... Hed shrugged.
Her eyes had widenedand, she recalled, sitting now on the veranda, watching the green waters of Trinity Inlet, which formed Cairns Harbour, that had given her another cause to hope.
So shed made no further objections, and shed married Brett Harcourt in a simple but beautiful, ballerina length dress of ivory stiffened silk, with a matching pillbox hat crowned with flowers, no veil and short gloves. The ceremony had taken place in the garden of his home, before a marriage celebrant, and the handful of guests had all been of his own family. His children had been present, but, at three and four, had had no real idea of the significance of the occasion.
Theyd been wild with delight, however, when shed moved in permanently from that day.
She finished her lunch with a sigh and remembered that, when making her marriage vows, shed been uncomfortable and barely audible. Then shed taken hold and told herself that at least she was in love with her tall, worldly husband, so it couldnt all be a sham. But of course now, in hindsight, that was what it still was and always had been.
All quiet on the western front?
Oh! Nicola started. It was that evening, and she was seated at a large and beautiful maple desk in the den, dealing with the household accounts. There was an open chequebook in front of her and a sheaf of bills. It was eight-thirty, the children were in bed asleep, Mendelssohn was playing on the state-of-the-art sound systemand she hadnt heard Brett come home.
She pushed a pair of horn-rimmed spectacles up on top of her head and regarded him severely. He had a glass of whisky in one hand and was pulling off his tie with the other. You were supposed to be home for dinner.
Sorry, he murmured. I got held up.
You dont have to apologise to me. Your children are another matter, however. You promised to watch The Wiggles with them.
Damn, I forgot. Brett Harcourt raked his hand through his dark brown hair. Dont they put out videos? I could watch a Wiggles video with them.
This was a special concerttelevised live.
So Im well and truly in the sin bin?
I would say so. And you could find yourself in the sin bin with your liver if you make a habit of dining on Scotch.
Brett Harcourt had hazel eyes that could be extremely enigmatic at times, much to Nicolas chagrin. They could also be coolly insolent and worldlyanother thorn in her flesh. But there were timesand she often wondered if she didnt find this the most infuriatingwhen they laughed at her, although he maintained a perfectly straight face. Such as now.
He said gravely, This is my first and last one for the day. Its been a hell of a day and I got my secretary to order some dinner for me. Have you taken up good works, Nicola?
She blinked at him. He sat down on the corner of the desk and let that hazel gaze drift over her. Shed changed into a large white T-shirt printed with gold and silver shells, and a pair of yellow leggings. Her hair was twisted up and secured by a big plastic grip. Her feet were bare. What on earth do you mean?
You sound as if youre trying to reform me. You even sounded wifely, which is something you avoid at all costs, you must admit.
The slightest tinge of pink ran beneath the smooth skin of her cheeks, but she said coolly, With good reason, Brett. Im a wife in name only, arent I?
How often have you reminded me of that, I wonder? he murmured, this time smiling openly.
As often as I try to remind you that youre a husband in name only, and that you neednt think you can run my life, she responded evenly.
I didnt think I did that.
Nicola stared at him and tried to mask her impatience, which never worked with Brett.
Well, do I? he asked reasonably. Tell me about any of your activities Ive ever put a stop to. Tell me that you dont come and go as you please, arrange your days as you please
But if I suddenly decided I wanted to go to...Tibet, that would be a different matter, wouldnt it? she returned tautly.
Decidedly, he agreed lazily. I dont think that would be a good idea at all.
She stared at him frustratedly. You know what I mean.
I know we agreedafter you got yourself virtually kidnapped by a man who was a notorious womaniserthat this would be a safer way to go, Nicola.
I was only nineteen, she said through pale lips.
Youre only twenty nowall right he shrugged as she opened her mouth to protest almost twenty-one. But I cant help wondering whether youve acquired the wisdom you so noticeably lacked then. His eyes mocked her. Wild talk of Tibet doesnt seem to go hand in hand with maturity. And that brings me to something elsewhat were you doing at Lifeline today?
Nicola gasped. How...? He didnt!
I felt sure there would be a he involved, her husband said dryly.
She jumped up. Having a man around is one thing you cant accuse me of, Brett! Since...since it happenedand I had no idea he was going to lure me away under false pretences and all the rest she shuddered with disgust I havent had anything to do with men! You make it sound as if I go around inviting their attention.
Brett Harcourt raised a wry eyebrow. You dont have to, Nicola. They attach themselves. So. Whats with Lifeline? And why were you looking so very pensive?
If youve been having me followed, Brett... she said through her teeth.
Youll...? he queried before she could go on.
The desire to make another wild statement gripped her, but she fought it, causing his lips to twist as he watched her with interest.
Were you? she ground out at last.
No. I merely happened to be stopped at that particular traffic light as you came out. Now, if you have decided to add good works to your music he indicated the beautiful harp that stood in the corner of the den your flying lessons, your desire to speak Indonesian and your pottery, Im all for itbut... He paused. Something tells me its not so.
Nicola took a deep breath. I do play that harp, I do speak Indonesian, I love pottery and I enjoy flyingare you trying to belittle me for any specific reason? she asked with a quizzically raised eyebrow.
He shrugged, smiled slightly and ignored the question. Im not disputing that. In fact, Ill go further and say that youre highly intelligent as well as artistic, and your flying instructor reckons youre a natural. It still doesnt explain Lifeline.
Nicola paced around the room and darkly contemplated the fact that it was impossible to hide most things from Brettit always had been. Which made it rather surprising to think that shed been able to hide the most important thing of all from him.
She paused beside the harp and ran her fingers gently across the strings in a glissando, to make a golden bell of sound, then stilled it with her palm and turned to look at him.
He was still sitting on the corner of the desk, idly running his tie through his fingersquite a colourful tie, with red, navy and jade diamonds on it etched in a bone colour that matched his shirt.
But even sitting he was obviously a tall man, who happened to be twelve years her senior with a mind that was razor-sharp. He also had aquiline features, an impressive build and, although he wasnt precisely handsome, once you got to know him you couldnt help but be aware that he had a rare charm when he chose.
And when he didnt choose there was the aura of a powerful intellect combined with a strong physique that gave notice of a man who got his own way frequently.
All in all an irresistible combination, and not only to me, she thought gloomily. To most womenand, even although theyve been divorced for four years, still to Marietta, she suspected...
Nicola?
She focused her gaze on her husband and shrugged. I went to see a marriage counsellor, thats all.
It gave her a fieeting sense of satisfaction to see that she had momentarily stunned him. Then he said a shade grimly, A man?
Yes, he was a manthat threw me at first as well, but
Nicola.
But hes also a minister, and he was very nice, Brett, you dont have to worry on that score.
And what did he advise you to do?
Well, youre really going to enjoy this, she said with simple satire. He advised me to stay put.
For a moment she wondered if her eyes were playing tricks on her, because she could have sworn she saw him relax slightly. Then he said, Not what you wanted to hear, Im sure.
No, she agreed, and shrugged. That doesnt mean to say Ill stick to the letter of his advice.
Nicola, I
Dont, Brett, she said with a sudden, weary little gesture. I have no plans to go anywhere at the moment, but that doesnt mean to say Im reconciled to anything.
He seemed about to say something, then apparently changed his mind and murmured with a humorous little glint, So I can expect you to be here for your twenty-first birthday?
Yes. She shrugged.
You dont sound very enthusiastic.
Im not but Ill probably come round. She studied him unenthusiastically, then a faintly malicious glimmer lit her blue eyes. By the way, dont imagine youve escaped The Wiggles.
Why not? I mean to say, he amended hastily, I never intended to. I did forget.
And then breathed a sigh of relief, no doubt But we didnt watch them.
Brett Harcourt looked at his wife narrowly. How come?
Well, knowing how much you love them, I persuaded your children to let me tape the programme so that we could all watch it together some time tomorrow. Which is a Saturday, in case youve forgotten, and one of the two days of the week you keep inviolate from work or whatever.
Youdid that to me?
Yes, Brett, I did, she responded gravely, then started to laugh. Theyre very good, you know.
If youre a kid. Four young men whove tapped into the kindergarten set and made a fortune, I imagine, he said meditatively. Oh, well.
You could thank me for averting a crisis. Sasha was distraught when you didnt turn up.
Sasha is every bit as histrionic as her mother, Brett Harcourt said a shade grimly.
And getting more and more like her by the day, Nicola agreed with a reminiscent little grin.
How about Chris?
Oh, I think hes going to be a chip off the old block.
He raised an eyebrow at her. Me?
Yes, you.
In what way?
Nicola considered. Hes cleverand practical. He said to Sasha, when she was throwing herself on the floor in floods of tears, Dont be so silly, Sash. If we tape it we can fast-forward all the advertisements.
Brett chuckled softly. Definitely a man after my own heart. What did she say to that?
Well, shes no fool either, Nicola mused with secret laughter lurking in her eyes. She said she liked the advertisements, they gave you a chance to go and get drinks and things, and she couldnt stand the way men imagined they were driving a speed car when they had a remote control in their handsflicking from one channel to another, fast-forwarding things and so on.
Youre kidding. Shes only six.
All the same, in more juvenile terms, thats what she said! Six is old enough to be struck by male failings, apparently. You, for example, are a nightmare to watch television with for just that reason. So is Chris.
Good Lord!
So, there you go. Nicola sat down and pulled the sheaf of bills towards her.
Weve been invited out to lunch on Sunday, by the way, Brett said after a moment.
Anywhere interesting? Can we take the kids?
Of course. The MasonsI believe you met them at the Goodes dinner party a few weeks ago.
Nicola wrinkled her brow. Oh, yes, I remember. Hes a big, bearded bear of a man and shes small and cuddly and given to being embarrassingly frank. She looked amused. Isnt he the new District Court Judge?
The same. Theyve invited us to their house at Buchans Point. They have a pool as well as the beach. The kids should enjoy it.
Sounds nice. Nicola threw down her pen to yawn heartily. I think Ill finish these tomorrow.
Tired? he asked casually as he watched her tuck her feet beneath her.
I dont know why.
The rigours of marriage counselling? he suggested.
I think the rigour was on the other foot, if anything. She grimaced. He was quite bemused.
Lets hope hes quite discreet, Brett said.
He assured me he was.
Brett stood up and stretched. Because I doubt whether youd enjoy featuring in the gossip columns any more than I would, Nicola.
They stared at each for a long moment, until he added, Dont forget, that was the other object of this exerciseto protect your fair name from being dragged through the mud.
And on that properly grateful note she got up and curtseyed Ill take myself to bed, sir!
He said nothing, but his eyes were suddenly cynical and cold.
Dont say it, Nicola warned herself. But, as so often happened, she failed to take her own advicealthough she did manage to sound fairly clinical instead of rashly impassioned. There are times when I hate you, Brett.
I know. He picked up his glass and drained it.
Doesnt it ever bother you?
He set the glass down on the desk, stared at it for a moment, then raised his eyes to hers. There was so much amusement in them now, she caught her breath at the same time as a little frisson ran down her spine. A frisson of awareness that she despised herself for but couldnt help, because Brett Harcourt did that to her even when he laughed at her.
No, Nicola. You remind me of Sasha, actually. She often hates me when she doesnt get her own way. Why dont you go to bed? You not only sound tired and cross, you look it.
She opened her mouth, then bit her lip and walked past him. But he put out a hand and closed it round her wrist. Good thinking, he said with soft satire, then genuinely laughed at her expression. OK, OK, Im sorry! Of course you dont remind me of Sasha, that was tit for tat, but there is nothing on earth for you to be in a state about.
They were very close-close enough for Nicola to see the little golden flecks in his eyes and feel that frisson of awareness grow into something stronger as his lean, strong fingers moved on the soft skin of her inner wrist.
If you say so, Brett, she murmured colourlessly, and removed her gaze from the line of his shoulders beneath the bone-coloured shirt, hoping and praying at the same time that he had no idea what the strong column of his throat and those broad shoulders sometimes did to herevoking an erotic little desire to explore them with her fingertips and follow that trail with her lips.
He released her abruptly. I do. Goodnight, Nicola.
But something stopped her from moving immediately, something that made her look at him fleetingly, into his eyes, to discover that everythingthe amusement and everything elsehad been leached from his expression so that it was like looking at a blank wall.
Goodnight, Brett, she said then, quietly and evenly, and slipped away.
Brett Harcourt stood in the same spot for some moments and wondered, as hed found himself wondering from time to time over the last two years, if his wife was essentially naive and genuinely had no idea how attractive and desirable most men found her. Because it was true that he couldnt accuse her of appearing to have much interest in men at all, although hed been right about her effect on them.
But was it something she still had to grow into? he mused. Or had this marriage of convenience been even more successful than hed thought, from the point of view of keeping the daughter of a man hed admired immensely safe? But safe in an ivory tower?
He stared at nothing for a moment, then shrugged.
CHAPTER TWO
SUNDAY dawned clear and hot, although not nearly so hot as Cairns could get. May was one of the nicest months in the far north of Queensland, Nicola often thought. By May the threat of cyclones had receded, the stingers and box jellyfish were removing their deadly tentacles from beaches and the weather was generally cooler and dryerif not exactly autumnal by southern standards. Although shed been brought up in Cairns, there was no doubt the hot steamy summers took their toll.
She walked out onto the veranda and absorbed the view.
Brett Harcourt had built a house at Yorkeys Knob, a northern beach suburb of Cairns dominated by a small, steep and wooded headlandthe Knob. Hed built his house on the Knob to take in spectacular views of the ocean, as well as the cane fields, of which he owned a large slice, that stretched inland to the range. Sugar cane was not his only investment. He owned banana and avocado plantations, as well as mango farmsfor that matter, so did she.
But it was not the injustice of having her inheritance in someone elses hands until she was twenty-three that was on her mind as she gazed at the view, it was only how lovely it all was that preoccupied her.
Out to sea there were magic reefs and cays, not visible at this distance, but once youd visited them they stayed in your mind whenever you looked out. Michaelmas Cay, Upoloa lovely little hoop of pale gold sand in a turquoise sea studded with coralGreen Island, Arlington Reef, and to the north Batt and Tongue Reefs, the Low Isles, Agincourt Reef and many more as the Great Barrier Reef rose from the depths of the Coral Sea.
Closer to home to the north was Trinity Beach and Palm Cove on the mainland, then Buchans Pointthe venue for lunch today. And the Range, cloaked in its dense, dark green foliage, rose majestically behind them to Kuranda and the Atherton Tablelands.
The other advantage of having a house on the Knob was the wonderful privacy. The road was actually above their roof level, and their neighbours were hidden by a glorious tangle of tropical shrubbery: pink, purple and white bougainvillaea, yellow allamanda and scarlet poinsettia. There were palm trees and causurinas on the front lawn, and beyond, a sheer drop down to the sea.
She breathed the clear, sparkling air deeply and turned to look at the house. Built on two levels in a mixture of stone, timber and glass, it blended well with the hillside and made the most of the wonderful views. The upper level, containing the bedrooms and where she was now standing, had its own deck around the front of the house, whilst the lower level opened onto a paved terrace with an in-ground pool and a thatched open barbecue pavilion. There were big terracotta pots scattered about, in which Nicola grew flowering perennials, and some flourishing pandanus palms.
Louvred doors onto the deck and terrace, as well as simple cotton blinds, let the air flow through the house as well as giving it a slightly Oriental air. The floors inside were all sealed timber or polished slate, and the rooms were uncluttered to minimise the heat but furnished beautifully, with a mixture of modern and colonial. Curiously, the fact that some of it had been Mariettas doing didnt offend Nicola.
There was also a garden for the children, a shed and a kiln for her pottery, and a shady, secretive courtyard outside the front door that was definitely Oriental in design and a delight to Nicola. More of her pottery pots and most of her statues ended up in it, and she grew herbs, lemon trees in tubs, impatiens, and miniature capsicum and chillies beneath a magnificent tree that was at present a blaze of bloom and spreading a pink carpet on the uneven tiles that surrounded it.
The sight of a small face at her bedroom doorway, which was instantly whisked away, alerted her. She waited a couple of moments, then padded back to her room silently and sneaked up to the bed that now had two still mounds beneath the covers. She fell on the bed, causing screams and loud gurgles of laughter to emanate as the mounds wriggled joyfully and they all ended up in a heap.
Whos been sleeping in my bed? Nicola demanded, feigning utter surprise.
You knew, you knew! Chris, short for Christian, chanted.
How could she know? his sister contradicted, coming up for air. We didnt make a sound. We didnt even breathe!
I bet you she knew
OK. Nicola gathered them on either side of her and plumped up the pillows. Lets not start the day with a fight. How about a song instead? Lets see...
They sang The Teddy Bears Picnic, then, because The Wiggles were such a hot topic, embarked on one of their songs about a dog that barked all day and night. They sang the chorus with great gusto and much hilarity, alternating from basso profondo to a shrill, scratchy falsetto.
All right, all right! Brett Harcourt appeared at the doorway with his hair hanging in his eyes, wearing only a pair of sleep shorts and with blue shadows on his jaw. Doesnt anyone in this house believe its Sunday?
Nicola said through her laughter, Sorry, but they both have perfect pitch, you know!
Sasha and Chris leapt off the bed to besiege their father, and presently to partake peaceably of a late breakfast, and then get through the whole traumatic business of being dressed and groomed for an outing without one squabble.
There. Nicola slung a large bag into the back of the BMW between the children and stood for a moment with her hand on her hip.
She wore a filmy beige and white paisley overshirt and white linen drawstring pants. Her hair was in a simple knot and she had beige canvas rope-soled espadrilles on her feet. She held up a finger for each item. Ive got two spare sets of clothing, sun-cream, hats, togs, buckets, spades, toys in case they get bored, booksIve got the lot.
She swung herself into the front seat and exchanged a wry glance with her husband, who said, Its like moving an army.
Youre not wrong. Now listen, kids, she said over her shoulder, were going to visit Mr and Mrs Mason for lunch. Dont forget your manners, will you?
I never do, Sasha said proudly and pointedly.
Course you do, Chris responded. Who threw a plate of jelly at?
That was because he pulled my hair! And dont forget the time you spat at
Kids, Brett said, mildly enough, but they subsidedas they always did for Brett, Nicola thought ruefully.
Wish I had you around more often, she murmured with a faint grin, and glanced at him expressively.
Gone was the dishevelment of earlier. He was shaved, his brown hair was orderly and he wore a brown and white striped T-shirt, off-white thin cotton jeans and white deck shoes. The hairs on his arms, she noted, glinted chestnut in the sun.
I might not be so effective thenfamiliarity could dull the edge.
I doubt it. Theyre always good for you.
Do you find them such a handful, Nicola? he asked after a moment. By the way, I presume Im forgiven?
For last night? She shrugged. Yes. You know I dont find them a handful, she added with more warmth. And on the odd occasion that I do, she said honestly, Ive always got Ellen to fall back on. Ellen doubled as housemaid and babysitter, and had been with the children since birth.
I just wondered, he said slowly, whether they had anything to do with your seeking counselling. Whether you felt tied down, were yearning for a career or something like that, he said, before she could speak.
Nicola paused. I never could decide whether I wanted to be a potter, a pilot or a musicianthats strange, isnt it? No. Its not that, Brett.
But what would you do if you left us?
The question hung in the airair that rushed by as they drove up the highway past Palm Cove towards Buchans Point with the roof down. And it was a question that affected Nicola suddenly and curiously. Was it because, she wondered, it was the first time Brett had actually asked her? Not in the context of pointing out her lack of purpose in life, or her unwisdom et cetera, but just as a simple, genuine enquiry?
And it came to her with a little stab of shock that perhaps he was entertaining the idea of her leaving...
I...I could start my own gallery, she said at random. A lot of people are very taken with my pottery.
Anything else?
She cast around in her mind a little desperately. Before anything presented itself, she remembered suddenly that Brett had gone out the night before, alone, and come home very late. Well after midnight, in fact, as shed seen on the luminous dial of her bedside clock when the opening and closing of the garage doors had woken her brieflysomething she hadnt recalled until now.
Not that there was anything particularly unusual in it. She often went out with girlfriends, and he didnt always include her in his socialising, but...had this been a different kind of socialising, with a woman? she found herself wondering. A woman he was serious about? Serious enough to be contemplating putting an end to this marriage of convenience. But what about Marietta? she thought. And...
Nicola?
She jerked her eyes to his to find his gaze narrow and probing, but all he said was, Were here.
Oh, sorry. She shrugged, but it was a long moment before she could tear her gaze away from his. Then she got out of the car and helped the children out.
Now, lets see. She straightened Sashas pretty sun-dress and smoothed her red-brown curls. You look gorgeous, darling, she said, and turned to Chris. Whereas you are very handsome, young man!
Both children exuded gratification and put their hands into hers, leaving their father to deal with the large bag.
And that was what the Masons, Rod and Kim, as well as their resident guest, saw advancing up the garden path as they opened their front door, causing Kim Mason, in her forthright way, to say, Nicola, dear, welcome! But how can you possibly be old enough to have two children this age?
Oh, shes not our mother, Sasha piped up with a world-weary air. Shes our aunt.
Sasha. Nicola frowned down at her. Im not your aunt, Im your stepmother. Where did you get that idea?
Excuse mehow silly of me, Kim murmured, but Sasha was not to be denied.
I scussed this with my friend Emma, and we decided you cant be any kind of a mother, Nicola, because you dont do the things mummies do.
Course she does, Chris said witheringly. Who makes us clean our teeth three times a day and washes our ears and makes us eat our crusts?
Thats not all mummies do, Sasha replied with a superior air. They look after their kids dads as well. They kiss and cuddle them, and they sleep in the same bed with them
Sasha, Brett said from behind a frozen Nicola, thatll be enough, thank you.
But what would Chris know about it? Hes only a silly little boy who doesnt even go to school yetand thats why we decided, me and Emma, that shes got to be an aunt! Sasha finished triumphantly.
Instead of falling into a convenient hole that might magically open up at her feet, Nicola had no alternative but to proceed with the day. To pretend as if Sasha had never spoken and ignore the bemusement in their hosts expressions, until they hurriedly masked it, gracefully acknowledging the introduction of the other guesta man of about thirty who was visiting the Masons from Sydney and was in some way related to Kim. His name was Richard Holloway.
Brett did the same, and before long they were seated on a shaded terrace beside the pool, with Ellis Beach below them, stretching northward beside a sparkling sea, sipping aperitifs as the children splashed happily in the water.
As if to make up for the incredible revelations she had unwittingly unleashed, Kim talked non-stop to Nicola while the three men talked cricket.
Then, to Nicolas relief, Kim drew her husband away to deal with the barbecue and commanded Richard to replenish everyones drinks.
Brett said into the sudden silence, All right?
Yes. No. I had no idea... Their gazes locked and Nicola found herself going hot and cold again as the truly mortifying thought of people wondering whether she did or didnt sleep with Brett crossed her mind.
No, Nicola, its not anything you might be thinking, he said, and he scanned the tense way she was sitting. She looked lovely enough to tempt any man, he thought, and then also thought, Theyre probably wondering if Im mad... Because its not anyones business but our own, he added.
How...how do you know what I was thinking? she asked.
He smiled a little wryly. You looked intensely embarrassed.
I felt itdidnt you?
He shrugged philosophically. Im older and probably tougher. It was also out of the mouths of babes, so to speak.
Isnt that a euphemism for an uncanny ability to see the truth? I told you she was no fool.
Obviously not, he said dryly.
You mustnt be cross with her, Nicola responded swiftly. She doesnt understand the implications of what she said. Its simply something she noticed and found strange.
Im not cross with her. Or only for inheriting her mothers ability to lack any sense of tact or diplomacy.
Nicola found her lips twisting involuntarily. Its the kind of situation Marietta would enjoy. By the way, whens she due home?
When she suffers some pangs of maternal longing, probably, he said cynically.
Nicola said nothing for a time. Marietta swooped in and out of her childrens lives like a brilliant bird of paradise. And, unnatural as it might seem, they adored her when she was around and appeared to accept her absence with equanimity. She had a unit in town, where they went to stay with her to be shamelessly indulged, but they cast it all off like a second skin when they came back to their father.
That theyd only been two and one when the breakup of the marriage had occurred might account for it, Nicola sometimes thought. But it was hard to see why Marietta had bothered to have children, unless Brett had insisted...
Yet, so long as she didnt have to be tied down by them, she was genuinely fond of them. She wrote to them often, rang them from strange places and brought home marvellous exotic gifts for them.
But thats Marietta for you, she thought as she accepted another drink from Richard Holloway. Kim and Rod did not return, so, while the men started discussing politics this time, she was able to think her own thoughts.
She remembered her fathers bemusement at Bretts decision to marry Marietta Otway, daughter of his best friend. Brett had been twenty-five, Marietta the same age; Nicola herself had been thirteen.
Why? shed asked her father.
Well, its obvious why. Shes talented, spirited and very beautiful, hed said with some irritation.
So why dont you approve?
Hed shrugged uneasily. You know her. She was babysitting you for pocket money from the time she was sixteen. Shesobsessive, wouldnt you agree?
About her music, yes. Nicola had smiled reminiscently. She gave me my first piano lesson when I was four. But
And now shes obsessive about Brett. But I just cant help wondering how marriage is going to fit in with her main obsessionher music.
Nicola had said slowly, and with no acrimony, You look upon Brett as the son you never had, dont you, Dad?
Her father had ruffled her hair. Im very fond of him and very proud of him. When you think how he had to battle his way through school, let alone law school, despite the Rotary Scholarship
Which you were responsible for.
Yes, well, Id never encountered such a sharp mind before, such a determination to succeed. When his father was lost in a yachting accident at sea he was only twelve, and the oldest of five children, but the support he gave his mother and his younger brothers and sisters was amazing. He was picking mangoes and avocados in his spare time, sorting prawns and so onbut I have only one child dear to my heart, and thats you.
Two weeks later theyd gone to Brett and Mariettas wedding. At the reception, at a smart restaurant, Nicola had found herself observing the bride and groom with her fathers misgivings in mind.
Marietta had been married in a lime-green figure-hugging Thai silk suit that had set off her glorious red hair admirably. Shed glowed, obviously radiantly happy, but, Nicola had noticed, she and Brett had almost steered clear of each other, and Nicola had wondered why.
Then, when they had come together to cut the cake, theyd looked into each others eyes, and to her teenage eyes it had been as if something white-hot existed between them in that brief glance, something almost dangerous that couldnt be allowed to be exposed in public.
Not long after the wedding Nicola had been sent to boarding school in Brisbane, a thousand miles away, and her dealings with Brett and Marietta had been limited. But she had noticed, when Sasha was born, that Marietta seemed to be obsessive about motherhood in her unique way. Then Chris had arrived, only twelve months later, and after another twelve months had come the bombshell that Brett and Marietta were separating.
I knew it, her father had said exasperatedly.
But Chris is only a baby! How can she?
Theyve come to an agreement. The children will spend the bulk of their time with Brett, allowing her the licence to get her career back on track, hed said sardonically.
But I thought she liked having children.
It was a novelty, thats all.
Nicola had thought deeply. By then seventeen, shed had more of an understanding of that strange, searing little look shed intercepted between Brett and Marietta on their wedding day, but shed found herself understanding this turn of events even less. So dont they love each other any more?
Her father had sighed. They may do, but shes determined to have it on her terms or not at all, and Brett...Well, he didnt get where he is without his own kind of iron determination.
By this time Brett had been made a partner in her fathers law firm. Indeed, he was the active partner, whose expertise had brought some big and prestigious clients to act for, and her father was coming to rely on him more and more as his health failed.
At eighteen Nicola had left boarding school, and, because of her fathers poor health, she insisted on spending the last six months of his life as his constant companion, instead of starting a Bachelor of Arts degree as shed planned. This had brought her into close contact with Brett and his childrenBrett had been marvellous, right up to the end and beyond.
And she often thought it was during those sad months that shed fallen in love with Brett Harcourt. But it was on the understanding that what was between him and Marietta was not resolved, and that somehow things would be patched up.
Shed spent a lot of time with his children, though, during the restless months after her fathers death, often staying with them rather than rattling around home alone. She had done this not only on his account, but the childrens, and Mariettas too. It had been like having two waning members of her own family around, both of whom she loved.
She couldnt forget all the years shed known Marietta. Could never forget how Marietta had flown home for her fathers funeral to play some of his favourite pieces. They had brought him so vividly to mind, yet in the way theyd been playedso exquisitely and gentlyhad laid him to rest in her heart, even though she still suffered, and had no idea what she wanted to do with her suddenly empty life.
Brett had suggested university again, but she hadnt wanted to commit herself. She wasnt even sure whether shed agreed to a Bachelor of Arts in the first place only to please her father. Shed suggested an overseas trip, but Brett had vetoed it, saying she was too young to go on her own. That was when shed first discovered that she might love Brett Harcourt, but it didnt prevent her from being in discord with him...
Indeed, that was what shed thrown at him after shed drifted into company with a fast set of so-called friendsanother cause for disagreement between themand, without quite understanding how, had got herself so embarrassingly compromised by a man of whom, ever since, the mere thought made her shudder.
It had all been so trite and sordid.
A party of them had been going up to the Tablelands for a long weekend, or so shed been led to think. But no one else had turned up, and shed found herself alone, in a remote cabin, fending off the distinctly amorous and then frighteningly violent attentions of a man who called her a rich, spoilt little bitch and speculated that she was Brett Harcourts mistressshe certainly spent enough time at his house, and it was already the subject of some comment around town, wasnt it?
Nicola had suddenly been more horrified than frightened, and this had given her the momentum to slap his face, then storm off proudly when hed drawled that shed have to find her own way home.
That was something she hadnt been able to do without calling on Brett for help when shed finally found a phone.
The interview that had followed as hed driven her back to Cairns had been deadly. How could she have been such a fool? Hadnt he warned her about the company she was keeping and the men she was going out with? What did she think she looked like, wandering around the countryside dusty and dishevelled with her dress torn?
That was when shed thrown the idea of an overseas trip at him in her anger and shame.
Hed driven her straight to Yorkeys Knob, but as hed been about to get out of the car shed swallowed suddenly and said, No, not here...please.
Why?
I just cant. But her face had burned, and something in the way shed refused to look at him had made him pause. Then hed said unemotionally that hed take her home and had done so. Only once there hed proceeded to insist on being told everything. But, instead of being shocked and disgusted by the news of the kind of gossip they were the subject of, hed merely said that she should have a shower and get changed because he planned to take her out to dinner.
And it had been over dinner, when she was much calmer and no longer feeling such a fool, that hed proposed marriageof a kind.
She could still remember the blue linen tablecloth and the steady flame of a candle in a glass, the music in the background and the dress shed wornblack with white flowers, a high little mandarin collar and a row of pearl buttons down the front. Her hair had been lying on her shoulders, clean and slightly fluffy because she hadnt had time to dry it properly.
She remembered the half-eaten butterfly prawns shed ordered, the glass of wine shed been toying with. And her first shocked responseWhat about Marietta?
He smiled dryly. Thats all over. Didnt you know? He looked at her ironically.
But is that why its only to be aa fake marriage?
No. Its because youre too young to be marrying anyone, Nicola, but at least this way youll be able to be comfortable and happy, and doing something you obviously enjoy.
She picked up her wine glass, then looked challengingly at him over the rim. Taking care of your children?
Mariettas too. And its not that Ill expect you to be a babysitter-cum-governess, he went on. You can do whatever you like, but with you there theyre happy, and so are you. Arent you?
Yes. But for how long?
He shrugged. As long as it seems necessary. You could even do a part time university course if you wanted to. And if it doesnt appeal to youwell, at least youll know youve given it a shot.
You sound like my father.
He said nothing for a long moment, then added, It is something he would have wanted you to do. By the way, Nicola, it would be an honour to have you gracing my house.
Her eyes widened, and that was when the first rash seed of hope sprouted. But she immediately cautioned herself against believing anything. Just say you fall in love, or I fall in lovetomorrow, for example. She gestured.
I dont think thats liable to happen to me, but I promise to tell you if it does, he said gravely. And if it happens for you, I still think you should wait a while before you allow yourself to believe its the love of your life.
She shrugged and chewed her lip, then, with the first glint of humour in her eyes for quite a while, said, At the moment Im thoroughly turned off men, believe me. But she frowned just say it did happenmightnt it complicate things incredibly? Having to explain that I am married but not really, kind of thing, let alone having to go through annulments and whatever?
Not for a man who really loves you, no.
She blinked, then heard herself saying, I dont know what else to do. I feel like a ship without a rudder. I suppose because I was an only child and I dont even remember my mother...thats why... She sighed. We used to do so much together, Dad and I. Wed planned to go overseas together when I finished school.
I know. I envied you.
Did you? For some reason it came as a surprise, and she studied him curiously. Hed left his work to rescue her, and still wore a pale green long-sleeved shirt, fawn trousers and a dark red tie with little green elephants on it. He looked so much a man of the world, so quietly assured and in command, it was hard to imagine him envying her in any way, let alone proposing marriage to her.
She said suddenly, I think my father looked upon you as the son he never had. He denied it, but it was true, all the same. She took a sip of wine, then twirled the glass in her fingers.
You didnt mind? He watched her narrowly.
No. What do you think hed have made of this, though? She returned his gaze steadily.
I think, Nicola... he said, and paused. I think hed rest easily to know wed devised a way of getting you through these difficult yearsand they can be difficult years for anyone, not least for someone as alone in the world as you aresafely and happily.
All the same, its fraud of a kind, she murmured a little dryly, and formed her slender hands into a steeple on the table. Although it remains to be seen whether we fool anyone. And there was that glint of challenge in her deep blue eyes again.
They may draw their own conclusions, but he smiled slightly, a cool twisting of his lips that was curiously intimidating I can assure you theyd think twice about expressing them, let alone treating you with anything but respect.
Her brows rose. You sound quite formidable, Brett.
He said nothing, only looked lazily amused, but if anything that reinforced her growing understanding that he was formidable when he wanted to be.
Uh... She hesitated. There is one person who might be entitled to express all sorts of reservations on the subjectthey are her children, too.
Leave Marietta to me, he said evenly.
But I think I should know whether you intend to tell her the truth or not, Brett?
Marietta waived certain rights, Nicola, when she walked out on her children, but, if its OK with you, all I would do is present her with a fait accompli. I cant see her not being delighted to have you there for Sasha and Chris. He raised an eyebrow at her. Is that a yes?
.
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