Читать онлайн книгу «What She Wants for Christmas» автора Janice Johnson
What She Wants for Christmas
Janice Kay Johnson
All Teresa wants under her Christmas tree is Joe Hughes!Teresa has finally met her perfect man. Joe is gorgeous, strong and passionatebut he also has an intensely private quality that's a challenge to any self-respecting woman.And it's not as though Teresa really needs another challenge in her life. She's just moved to a small town in Washington, which her young son thinks is "cool" and her teenage daughter hates! And even worse, although Teresa's a darn good vet, the local farmers won't let her treat their livestock.But through it all, Teresa can't resist loving Joe. Even when she learns he's keeping a secret that threatens their future happiness.
Is something wrong, Mom?
She ought to tell him she didnt expect to see Joe ever again. But she couldnt. Not at Christmas. No, she said shakily.
Mark nodded, apparently satisfied.
You really like Joe, dont you? Teresa asked.
Mark stopped playing with his Christmas gift from Joe. He lifted his head. Joe was the first man Mark had really cared about since his fathers death. Losing Joe, too, would devastate her son. Her heart wouldnt be the only one breaking.
Yeah, Mark said carefully. Hes really cool. I was thinkingI mean wonderingwell, do you think you might marry him? The last came out in a rush.
She couldnt seem to speak, didnt know what to say.
The truth, she thought. Tell him as much of the truth as you can bear.
If he ever asks me to marry him, Id say yes.
Mark studied her for a long moment, his eyes serious, then gave another decisive nod. Good.
What She Wants for Christmas
Janice Kay Johnson
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
JANICE KAY JOHNSON
Janice Kay Johnson is the author of more than sixty books for adults and children. She has been a finalist for a Romance Writers of America RITA
Award four times for her Harlequin Superromance novels. A former librarian, Janice lives north of Seattle, Washington, and is an active volunteer and board member of Purrfect Pals, a no-kill cat shelter. When not fostering kittens or writing, she gardens, quilts, reads and e-mails her two daughters, who are both in Southern California.
CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER ONE
CANT WE GO shopping?
Thirty seconds after walking in the front door from a lousy day at work, these were not the first words Teresa Burkett wanted to hear from her daughter.
Dont whine, she said automatically. I didnt let you whine when you were two, and Im not going to start now.
Nicole dumped a cat off her lap and rose from her slouch on the sofa. Sounding teenage indignant, she said, Cant I ask a perfectly reasonable question?
Certainly. Teresa headed for the kitchen. Go right ahead.
Mark was already there. A typical ten-going-on-eleven-year-old boy, he was eating. String cheese, a bowl of some sugary cereal and a pop. Teresa shuddered.
She opened the fridge and grabbed a cola. Caffeine. She needed it quick. One long swallow later, she noticed the casserole dish, still covered with aluminum foil, reposing on the refrigerator shelf.
Stay calm. You didnt put dinner on like I asked.
Mo-om. Her pretty dark-haired daughter looked at her as if she were an idiot. It isnt time to put dinner on. Youre home early.
Teresa sighed. Im sorry. I forgot.
Mouth full, Mark asked, How was your day?
Crummy. She made a face. I did three spays, wormed two horses and treated a few miscellaneous cats and dogs. Otherwise, I hung around the clinic hopefully and helped Eric load his truck.
The dairy farmers had decided their animals could afford to wait until the vet they knewa mancould get around to them. They were a conservative lot, these farmers. Their daughters and wives might get their hands dirty helping out, but they didnt make the major decisions and they didnt become veterinarians.
A couple of the farmers had checked Teresa out by bringing their cats or dogs in for treatment. She had to assume that her appearance was part of the problem. Maybe if shed been a big strapping gal, they would have accepted her gender philosophically. Instead, she was a slender five foot four when she stretched. Her wiry strength didnt show. She looked petite and elegant, ornamental instead of useful.
Only, if they wouldnt give her a chance, how the hell did she demonstrate her competence? A wave of panic washed over her. Financially and legally, she was Dr. Eric Bergstroms partner now; shed bought into the practice. But she wouldnt blame him if he got damn tired of doing all the work while she loitered around the clinic.
Dr. Craig said you could come back to your old job any time. Nicole was trying hard not to sound hopeful. Its not too late. The sale on thishouse hasnt even closed. The pause was calculated; the three-bedroom farmhouse on the edge of town was not, in Nicoles opinion, a suitable residence for a sophisticated teenager. She belonged back in the oversize, ostentatious, French-provincial style home theyd left behind in Bellevue, an increasingly ritzy community across Lake Washington from Seattle. Teresa was trying very hard to be patient. Fifteen was a tough age at which to have to move, but Nicole would adjust.
Assuming, Teresa thought ruefully, that her mother didnt end up tucking her tail between her legs and running.
Actually, I signed the papers today. Its all ours. Give up, kiddo, she said lightly, then groaned when the dogs leapt to their feet and raced, barking, to the front door. A second later the doorbell rang. Are either of you expecting a friend?
Friend? Nicole struck an astonished pose. Who has a friend?
Nonetheless, she trailed her mother to the door. Presumably even some hick neighbor would be a diversion in this outpost of civilization.
Quiet! Teresa snapped at the dogs. Golda and Serena quit barking and looked sheepish. She opened the door and gaped. If the man on her porch was a hick, might she never find civilization again.
He actually wore overalls and muddy work boots, as most of the farmers around here seemed to, but this guy was built. Muscles, shoulders wide enough to shelter a woman from a cold wind, long legs He had to be at least six foot two. His straight dark hair looked silky, his lean face was tanned, his wide mouth set in the kind of grim line that served as a challenge to any self-respecting woman. But it was his eyes that riveted her. In that dark face, they were a vivid electric blue.
May I help you? Thank God, she didnt sound quite as dumbstruck as she felt.
He moved his shoulders, as though uncomfortably aware of what had been going through her mind. Dr. Burkett?
Yes? A client?
My sister suggested I stop by. Jess Kerrigan. She said you wanted some trees taken down.
Trees? Jess Kerrigan? Teresa snapped out of it. Jess was the nice owner of those show-quality Arabians. She had actually agreed cheerfully to let the new vet treat one of them. And the conversation with her had even been useful. During a discussion of Teresas old farmhouseJess knew the previous ownersTeresa had asked about tree-toppers. Her client had remarked that her brother was a logging contractor.
Hell give you a good price, shed announced. Ill tell him to.
Oh, you dont need
We like to welcome newcomers to White Horse.
If only the dairy farmers felt the same.
The man was still standing there on her doorstep waiting. Teresa pulled herself together. Bless you. Id forgotten to get your name or phone number from her. Why dont you come in?
He glanced down at his boots. Id better not. If you could just show me the trees
Sure. She stepped out and let the dogs slip through. Closing the door in her astonished daughters face, she smiled. Around the house.
She was conscious of him behind her in a way she couldnt ever remember being. She couldnt remember, either, the last time shed hoped so fervently that a man had noticed her, as well. Unless Oh, nohad Jess Kerrigan said anything about a sister-in-law? But of course hed be married. Any man this beautiful had to be. In fact, any man over thirty with a half-decent character was married, never mind what he looked like.
The front lawn was springy under her feet. Too springy; it was half moss, shaded by the stand of mixed cedar and hemlocks to the south of the house.
These, she said simply, standing aside. The realtor said one of them came down last year on the roof, which is why the house has a new one. I dont want to take a chance on a repeat. Besides, Id like a little more sun. The closets are mildewing.
He nodded and rubbed his chin reflectively as he stood contemplating the fifteen or so trees, tilting his head back to gaze up, then glancing around as though her yard told him something.
I thought I might leave the big cedar, Teresa said, feeling the need to fill the silence. Its pretty.
Without a word, he went to the tree. From a pocket in his overalls, he pulled a screwdriver and poked it into the trunk. Rotten. Better take it out, too.
Rotten? Oh, what a shame.
Are you thinking you might get much for these trees?
Get much? She blinked, then realized she didnt even know the mans name. When she asked, he looked surprised.
Sorry. I guess I figured Jess would have mentioned it. Joe Hughes. He held out one large hand.
It completely engulfed hers. She liked the feeling, which took her aback. Shed spent most of her life trying to overcome the handicap of her size. Now she wanted to be overwhelmed by some primitive hunk of masculinity?
There was no denying it. That was exactly what she wanted. Their clasped hands brought other visions to her mind: his head bent over hers, his body pressing hers down, his She firmly put the brakes on her imagination. He was married, she reminded herself. He must be. Besides, he hadnt demonstrated any great interest in her. Maybe his tastes ran to six-foot Nordic goddesses.
But, no. He hadnt let her hand go, and when she lifted her gaze to his, it was to catch a flicker of something in those eyes that sped up her pulse more than her first chance at surgery had. Were his cheeks tinged with red as he finally released her hand?
Jess always says I have no manners, he said ruefully. I guess shes right.
What do sisters know? Teresa said, grinning at him.
He lifted one dark brow. Didnt it figure he could. You have some, too?
Two. Im the middle child. Im sure thats why my psyche is so fragile.
For a moment he studied her as gravely as he had the stand of trees. Then he smiled, slow and heart-stoppingly sexy. You look fragile all right, but my mama always taught me appearances are deceiving.
Smart woman.
His eyes lingered on her face as the smile faded. She felt flushed and dizzy.
Five hundred dollars, he said.
What? She stared at him.
For your stumpage. The trees arent big enough to be worth much, but I can get them out easy enoughthe truck can back right down your driveway. Pulp millll take em. Youll be rid of the trees and have a little cash.
Thank heavens for his speech, the longest out of his mouth yet. It had given her time to realize he wasnt offering five hundred dollars for her body.
Does that include your taking the stumps out, not just grinding them down?
Yup. And burning the stumps and slash.
Youre on, she said.
That eyebrow rose again. Dont you want to get other bids?
I already have. Two. One of the guys wanted to charge me two thousand dollars. Said the trees werent worth anything. He was going to buck them into firewood length and leave them for me. Id have been stacking them for the rest of my life. The other fellow didnt do stumps. He gave me the names of a couple of places that grind them down. Im thinking of putting the vegetable garden there. How can I if the ground is full of roots?
Joe Hughes nodded. I dont think anybody would beat my price, anyway.
Your sister guaranteed you.
Sisters are good for something, he said, straight-faced.
Yours seemed like a nice woman. She let me touch her horses.
He heard the flash of bitterness, because those disconcerting eyes fixed themselves on her face again. Youre a vet.
Im a woman.
His gaze flicked downward, then back to her face. I noticed, he said in a voice that had roughened just enough to be a compliment.
Women are apparently competent to treat a five-pound cat. A thousand-pound Jersey cow is another story.
He frowned. Guess were a little backward in White Horse.
EricEric Bergstrom, that iswarned me, but he thought the farmers would get over it. Judging from my first few weeks, theyre not in any hurry to.
Well have to see what we can do about that, Joe said.
She made a face. Dont tell me youre a dairy farmer on the side.
Nope. Hardly know one end of a cow from another. But I have friends who are.
Ah. Youre going to tell them what a sweet girl I am.
He apparently didnt mind her sarcasm, because one corner of his mouth twitched. Im going to tell them which end of their cow not to be.
A cows ass. She liked it.
Might come better from you than me, she conceded. Her basically cheerful nature triumphed and she laughed. When can you take out my trees?
Next week. Say, Monday.
Monday was one of her days off. She could watch. She didnt kid herself about whator whoshed be watching.
She smiled and held out her hand. See you then.
He glanced down at her hand and seemed to deliberate for a moment before he took it. His grip sent a shiver through her. When he released her, he flexed his fingers before balling them into a fist. Unfortunately his face told her remarkably little.
Monday, he repeated, gave a brief nod and headed for his huge shiny blue pickup without a backward glance.
Teresa wandered into the house. Both kids were waiting for her.
Who, her daughter demanded, enunciating carefully, was he?
A hunk, wasnt he?
Nicoles lip curled. He was dirty!
Teresa was in just the mood to provoke a little outrage. Musingly she said, Theres something about a sweaty mana days growth of bearda little dirt under his fingernails
But, Mom! Mark stared at her as if shed gone stark-raving mad. Then how come you wont let me go to school dirty? How come I have to wash my hands before we eat? How come?
Youre not a man, stupid. His sister didnt even glance at him. Youre a boy. A little kid. A
You think youre so grown-up? Then how come the men arent all lined up outside?
There isnt anyone in this nowhere place Id want lined up! Nicole flared. And cant you tell when Mom is putting you on?
Actually, I wasnt, Teresa said calmly. Hes a very handsome man. Now, can we quit bickering? Hes also a logger who is going to take those wretched trees out for us. Monday.
Cool, Mark declared. Can I watch?
Nope. Youll be in school by then, remember? Registration tomorrow.
School! Nicole collapsed on a kitchen chair. Mom, what am I going to wear?
How about leggings and a sweater?
How about overalls and work boots? her fifteen-year-old retorted bitterly.
Seems to me a pair of sacky overalls is one of your standards, Teresa agreed. Good idea.
Please, please, please, can we go shopping?
Nope.
Why? Nicole wailed.
Because I dont want to, Teresa said reasonably. And you have a perfectly adequate wardrobe. Now, can I turn the oven on?
Why didnt you let me move in with Jayne? Nicole jumped to her feet. This place stinks! She ran from the room and a moment later Teresa heard her feet thundering up the stairs.
Shed probably spend the rest of the evening on the telephone with her friends in Bellevue. The long-distance charges would have to become an issue eventually, but for now Teresa figured they were a small price to pay. She sighed and saw Mark staring after his sister with almost as much bewilderment as his mother felt.
Like Bellevue was so great. He stuffed some string cheese in his mouth. Whats for dinner, Mom?
Thank God for one cheerful member of her family. Chicken and artichoke hearts.
Cool, he said again. He even submitted to a hug, though he didnt have a clue why she felt compelled to give it.
YOU SHOULD HAVE seen this guy. Nicole flopped back against her pillow and rolled her eyes, even though Jayne couldnt see. I swear he had size-twelve feet, and these clumps of mud were sticking to his boots, and he wore overalls. I wouldnt have been surprised if hed been chewing on a piece of straw.
Hes your neighbor? Jayne sounded properly horrified.
No, hes some kind of logger. Moms having some trees taken out.
Well, then, youll probably never see him again.
Everybody here looks like that, Nicole said gloomily. Theyre all farmers or loggers or something. I heard these two girls talking the other day, and one of them is competing to become Dairy Princess at the fair next year. Can you imagine? The crown probably has horns on it!
Nicole wasnt sure why, but she didnt tell Jayne her mother had thought the logger was a hunk. No, that wasnt true; she did know why. She was embarrassed. Her own mother, for crying out loud!
Listen, Jayne said, I gotta go. Maddy and Kelly and I are going to a film festival tonight. Theyre running a bunch of foreign films. I dont like subtitles, but Maddy says some of the guys are going, includingget thisRussell Harlan, so Im wearing that red dressyou know, that one you helped me pick outand my hair on top of my head in a scrunchy, and he cant miss me, right?
Talking to her best friend hadnt helped, Nicole thought a moment later, hanging up. Now she was more depressed. She was the one whod liked Russ Harlan, not Jayne. He had these really dark eyes and he wore an earring and he was super intense about things. Shed wanted him intense about her. She was the one he was supposed to be noticing, not Jayne.
I feel like Ive been sent to prison, she said aloud to her empty room. Her room. Yeah, right. Her bedroom had had blue plush carpet and a cushioned window seat and its own bathroom. This room had peeling wallpaper, which her mother said theyd replace, and bare wood floors. Her gilt-trimmed bedroom set looked about as out of place as Nicole felt.
They couldnt stay in this dump. They just couldnt. Things were great in Bellevue. Nicole wished shed paid more attention to all Moms talk about buying into a veterinary practice somewhere. Shed been looking for so long Nicole quit listening when Mom talked about why she liked or didnt like this town or that vet or whatever. Big mistake. She should have listened carefully. Instead, first thing she knew, her mother had gone ahead and done it. A For Sale sign appeared in their front yard, and they all drove up here one Saturday to look at houses.
The sight of White Horse had put Nicole in shock. It had a whole two streets of businesses. One pizza parlor that she could see. One! The movie theater was this run-down little place that played a single movie at a time, a month or more after itd opened in Seattle and Bellevue and even Everett. The high school was this huge ugly stucco building that must have been built fifty years ago. Mom thought it was great that you could walk anywhere in town. Great. Where were you supposed to go? The library? The bowling alley? Who bowled?
And she had to register for school tomorrow and start the next day. Mom insisted that moving during the summer was easiest, so she wouldnt be the only kid whose first day it was. Nicole had believed her then, but that was before shed seen White Horse. How many new kids were there likely to be in the high school? Two? Three? She could just see it now: heads turning as she walked into each class, the stares as she went down the hall.
Well, she didnt care what a bunch of farmers thought, anyway. What she had to do was figure out how to get her mother to change her mind and move back to Bellevue.
At first shed thought it was hopeless, but lately shed begun to wonder. The farmers around here didnt want a woman vet, which Nicole thought sucked, except for the fact that her mom was looking more discouraged every day. Her mom had figured White Horse was some kind of rural paradise; shed given Nicole and Mark all these lectures about how the move was as much for them as for her, because in a small town like this they were getting away from drugs and crime and gangs. So everything was supposed to be perfect, right?
The first glimmerings of an idea brought creases to Nicoles brow. Wait a minuteMom was catching the drift, but too slowly. Dr. Craig would hire someone to take her place at the animal hospital in Bellevue; then, even if they left White Horse, they might have to go somewhere else. What if Nicole could speed up the process? Show her mother all the crummy parts of life in this cow town? She could mount a campaign. She wouldnt want to be obvious; that would make Mom mad. No, she could be really subtle, just sort of coax Mom to really look around.
Surely that was all it would take.
By this time, Nicole was sitting bolt upright, legs crossed. Like tomorrow. She wouldnt let her mother stop at the school office. No, shed insist that someone give them a tour, show them the lab facilitiesdid this school know what a lab was?and the library. Another of the things Mom went on and on about was how important a good education was. Nicole smiled. If her mother thought they wouldnt get a good education here, they were gone.
Back to Bellevue. Yes.
JOE GLANCED at his watch. Noon. Take an hour, he called, and the two men hed brought out on this job nodded and carried their chain saws to the open back of his pickup.
They consulted briefly and then Brad Mauser said, Were going to run into town and get some burgers. Want to come?
Joes glance strayed to the kitchen window of the farmhouse, where he could see the blur of a white face and dark hair. Nah. He shrugged. I brought a sandwich.
Though he was used to the scream of chain saws and the thunder of falling trees, the silence after the men left was welcome. Autumn sunshine warm on his back, he looked around at their mornings work.
A dozen trees lay on the ground between the house and fence, lined up as neatly as pick-up sticks pulled from the pile. Most of the downed trees had already been shaved of their limbs and were ready for loading. If all went well, theyd have the other half down this afternoon. Come morning, they could get the timber out of here and clean up. Give the slash a few weeks to dry and hed come back and burn it. If he was smart, hed come back on a day when Dr. Teresa Burkett was working and therefore not home.
The jolt hed felt in his gut when she opened the door that day last week had scared him a little. She was out of his league. He was lucky to have a high-school diploma. Shed finished God knows how many years of college. He was a small-town boy with no ambition to leave his home. She was a big-city professional woman who probably thought White Horse was pretty and peaceful. It was. But, unlike him, shed be heading for Seattle every time she got bored.
He couldnt afford to acknowledge his attraction to her or the spark of interest hed seen in her dark eyes.
Sandwich, he reminded himself, before his glance strayed again to her kitchen window. He grunted and turned toward the driveway where his pickup was parked. Rounding the house, he walked right into her.
Joe reached out and grabbed her before she went tumbling. Eyes wide, she looked up at him. Im sorry! That was dumb. I wasnt watching
I dont know who was dumb, he interrupted. Im the one who almost ran you down. Reluctantly he let her go. Her shoulders felt as fragile under his hands as shed declared her psyche to be. Did you come out to see our progress?
Well, actually her tongue touched her lips I came out to invite you and your men in for lunch.
He had trouble not staring at her mouth. They went into town.
Damn, she was beautiful, tiny, with these huge brown eyes and delicate features emphasized by the severity of the French braid that confined her dark hair. But it was neither the tiny nor the beautiful that got to him; it was the defiance in her eyes, coupled with the smile that played most of the time at one corner of her mouth.
Well, then. She met his gaze boldly, though now her cheeks were touched with pink. Can I talk you into lunch?
You dont need to cook
I already did. Homemade minestrone soup and fresh-baked bread.
Im too dirty to come in.
You can take your boots off.
What could he say? A moment later he padded in stocking feet into her bathroom to wash his hands. Waiting for the water to warm up, he frowned at his image in the mirror. What the hell did she see in him? All that met his eyes were dirty denim, callused hands and a haircut that was long on function and short on style. Shed discover soon enough that his conversation could be summed up about the same way.
But, by God, at least he was clean when he returned to the kitchen. Shed set the table there: two quilted place mats, a glass jar of spiky asters and late daisies, stemmed water glasses, silverware laid out properly, with an extra fork for some unseen dessert. It was prettyand made him feel awkward. Only the sight of her black Labrador lying under the table belied the formality.
Her eyes touched his face and shied away. Youre my first guest in this house. I thought Id celebrate.
He nodded and sat down while she ladled steaming fragrant soup into his bowl and offered him slices of crusty warm bread.
Would you like a beer? she asked, and he relaxed a little. At least she wasnt pouring French wine.
No, thanks. I dont drink when Im going to operate a chain saw or heavy equipment.
Oh. No, of course not.
I havent seen a woman blush in a long time, he heard himself say.
That did it. Her cheeks were now as rosy as though a winter freeze were biting at them. But she also laughed.
I dont usually blush. I think it must be you.
Him? What was she saying? If shed been any other woman, he would have known, but her? Why him?
Im sorry if Im making you uncomfortable, he said clumsily.
He almost thought he heard her sigh. Are you married? she asked.
His heart did a peculiar heavy-footed dance in his chest. No.
Her cheeks hadnt faded one iota. Engaged oror
He helped her out. No.
Oh.
A slow smile was growing on his face. Are you going somewhere with this, maam?
Im just curious, she said with dignity.
He laid down his butter knife and said quietly, Good.
Their eyes met and held for a long quivering moment. The breath of air he sucked in seared his chest.
I know youre not married, he said. Are you divorced?
Widowed. Pain, or at least regret, twisted her mouth. Five years ago. My husband was an idiot. He made an ultra-light from a kit. He was flying it when it drifted into some electrical wires. The day was windy She snorted. But he had to go up.
You didnt approve of his hobby, I take it.
I hated it! He felt her tension. I havent forgiven him yet.
I dont blame you, Joe admitted. Ive never understood why someone would risk losing everything a woman like you for some kind of momentary thrill.
It was what he did to the kids. Her eyes appealed to him for understanding.
Tell me about them.
She did, while Joe had three bowls of soup and more slabs of bread than he wanted to count. The woman was not only beautiful, she could cook. And hed better quit thinking this way.
Mark, he heard, was almost eleven, a fifth grader whod taken the move philosophically and had already signed up for soccer.
Boys, she said, with an expressive shrug. They always seem to play in mobs and accept one more kid without question. Girls, now
Her fifteen-year-old, whom Joe had seen over Teresas shoulder last week, was another story. When he asked about her, an odd expression crossed her face, half amusement, half exasperation.
She had friendsalthough I didnt like them very much. Moving is a lot harder at her age. I just wish shed try.
With her looks, she wont have any trouble getting dates.
Thank you. Teresa flashed him a grateful smile. She is pretty, isnt she?
Looks a lot like her mother.
A shadow crossed Teresas face. I dont know if thats a blessing or a curse.
He heard a car out in the driveway and assumed his men were back, but she didnt seem to notice. Because you have trouble being taken seriously? he asked.
Uh-huh. Her faraway expression faded and she jumped to her feet. Listen to me. And I tell my kids not to whine. Will you have some apple pie, Joe?
He ran an internal check and decided he could squeeze in a slice.
While she cut it, she chattered some more. We have four cats and the two dogsyouve met them. Most vets have even more animals than that. Its an occupational hazard. I keep encountering ones that need homes. At least theyre happy here. She set two plates of pie on the table.
From our own trees, she said with satisfaction, lifting a forkful to her mouth. This is the life.
For how long? he wondered. About as long as hed interest her? Or was he misjudging her?
If he was smart, he wouldnt bother finding out. But hed never been accused of belonging in any program for the intellectually gifted, now had he? He told himself hed hurt her feelings if he didnt ask her out. Theyd made too many spoken and unspoken acknowledgments to each other for him to drop it here.
He insisted on carrying his dishes to the sink. There, he turned to face her. Any chance youd have dinner with me Friday night? he asked casually enough that she wouldnt feel pressured if he was reading her wrong.
She smiled saucily. Id say theres a chance.
You remind me of my sister, he said without thinking.
Jess?
No, the other one. Rebecca.
Looks? Or because were both mouthy?
He hesitated a little too long. Sooner or later shed meet Rebecca and discover they didnt look anything alike. Sure enough, it was the smart mouths they had in common.
Apparently unoffended, Teresa laughed. Ill look forward to meeting her. Tell me her husband is a dairy farmer.
Nope. Owns a string of rental stores.
Ive been in the one here in town. His?
Mmm.
Is there any pie your family doesnt have its finger in?
Not many, Joe admitted. My brother, Lee, owns an auto-body repair place on Third. Rebecca sells wallpaper and blinds out of Browders Flooring. Jessbut you know her. Her firm cleans the veterinary clinic, as I recall. Our father sold insurance until his heart attack a few years back.
You must have a heck of a grapevine.
He grimaced. You have no idea.
Your men are peering in the windows, she said suddenly.
He turned and waved, hoping he wasnt blushing. He could imagine how theyd razz him if they got a good look at his stocking feet and the pretty table set for two.
Six oclock? he said.
She blinked. Why does that remind me of five hundred dollars?
He stared at her. I have no idea.
Six, she agreed, and he nodded.
Thanks for lunch.
He got another one of those impish grins. Thanks for not dropping a tree on my house.
Bad for the insurance rates, he said laconically, and let the screen door slam behind him while he sat down on the porch to lace up his boots.
CHAPTER TWO
WHEN JOE HAD ASKED about Nicole, the very mention of her name had been enough to prick Teresa with exasperation, amusement, puzzlement, frustration and even reluctant admiration. Shed no doubt gotten an odd look on her face. There was a good reason for it. In the past week, Nicole had obviously changed her tactics. Teresa wasnt foolish enough to think shed given up.
For example, last Wednesday Nicole had gone along sweetly and willingly to register at the high school. When Teresa stared doubtfully up at the building and said, Gee, its kinda ugly, isnt it? Nicole didnt jump right on her mothers minor criticism and try to make something major out of it.
Instead, she gave a dainty shrug and said, It probably doesnt matter, as long as the district has spent their money where it counts.
What kid ever thought of a school district in terms of a limited budget and priorities? Not Nicole, that was for sure. Wary, Teresa trailed her up the wide stairs and in the double doors.
Sounding sanctimonious, her daughter whispered, Dont they have handicapped access?
Im sure they do, Teresa returned dryly.
The guidance counselor in the office was friendly. She agreed to put Nicole in third year French even though the class was technically full. Nicoles face fell with exaggerated disappointment as she examined the offerings.
Oh, I was really looking forward to taking song writing this year.
Maybe you should worry about bringing your algebra grade up, instead, her mother suggested.
The counselor had a twinkle in her eye. Perhaps youd like to try drama, Nicole. You look like acting might come naturally.
Only if its in the form of melodrama, Teresa muttered.
Her daughter gave her a glare. Yeah, okay, she said to the counselor. Why not? There isnt anything else.
Its too bad you missed new-student orientation, the counselor concluded brightly, but theres no reason you and your mother cant wander around the building right now. Heres a map, so you can find your classrooms
Are the rooms unlocked? Nicole sounded so earnest Teresa was immediately suspicious.
Why, yes, I think so. Youll probably find some of the teachersgetting ready for the onslaught tomorrow.
Can we look around? Nicole asked when they left the office.
Well, of course. Teresa nodded at the map and schedule Nicole carried. Whats your first class?
Umalgebra. Room 233. She peered around doubtfully. Are we on the second floor here, do you think?
They were; 233 was just down the hall. Nicole insisted on glancing in. It looked like any other classroom to Teresa, if a little old-fashioned. The ceilings were high, the woodwork dark, and a smell of floor polish was underlaid with that of chalk and the pages of new textbooks, piled on a table by the door.
The chemistry lab looked perfectly adequate to Teresa, as well; Nicole critiqued it as they wandered between high black-topped tables furnished with microscopes and glass beakers and petri dishes. Teresa, filled with nostalgia for her own high-school days, was able to tune her daughter out. Shed had a mad crush on her biology/chemistry teacher, in part because he inspired her with his own passionate interest in the unseen organisms that cause disease or well-being. It had taken her a while to realize she was more excited by cell division than she was by him.
They progressed to the library, where Nicole prowled the shelves, returning to announce, This collection is ancient! How does anybody do any research here?
Fortunately White Horse belongs to an excellent public library system, Teresa reminded her. In fact, the local branch isnt two blocks from here. You can go over there on your way home from school.
Her daughter frowned at her. Dont you think they ought to have a better school library?
Yep. Ill join the PTA and campaign for a bigger book budget.
Fat lot of good thatll do me, Nicole muttered.
Probably not, Teresa admitted, but it might achieve something before Mark gets to high school.
I suppose you think his education is more important than mine!
Teresa gave an inward sigh. You know that isnt true. But I see no reason you wont get a perfectly adequate education here. Lets face it, at this level its the teacher that counts. The teacher, and the effort you are willing to expend. She added some briskness to her voice. If you get bored, next year you can start taking some classes at the community college in Everett.
Im supposed to be happy when you pulled me out of a great high school
Rife with drugs and gangs.
and moved me here. Examining a banner decorating the wall above a bank of metal lockers, Nicole curled her lip. This one is full of Future Farmers of America. Every word was a sneer. What am I supposed to do, learn how to milk a cow?
Wouldnt hurt. I had to, Teresa said unsympathetically. Have you seen enough? Shall we go find Mark?
Rolled eyes. Yeah, Ive seen enough.
Outside they found Mark involved in an impromptu soccer game with a bunch of boys who ranged from third or fourth grade on up to middle-school age. He trotted over.
Can I stay awhile, Mom? For an hour or two?
You bet. She cuffed him lightly on the shoulder. Have fun.
Nicole turned the full battery of entreaty on her from wide brown eyes. Since we have an hour, can we go shopping, Mom? Please?
Teresa hated to shop. She didnt care about clothes, seldom bothered with makeup, couldnt remember the last time shed worn a dress. How shed given birth to a child obsessed with appearances would forever remain a mystery to her.
But this struck her as an intelligent moment to compromise. Fine. Well see what the town has to offer.
A smug smile curled her daughters pale mouth. Because shed won? Or because she figured she had a chance to show her mother how inadequate White Horse was? Self-absorbed as she was, she probably hadnt noticed that Teresa visited malls only under duress.
Teresa decided the answer was the latter when she shocked Nicole out of her socks by actually finding an outfit she liked. White Horse only had two clothing stores. One of them had beautiful, high-quality casual clothes for women. Teresa looked around happily. Ill never have to hit the mall again. Ill just come in here and snap something up.
But this is old-lady stuff!
You mean, its not teenage stuff. I am not a teenager, believe it or not. She headed for a display of cotton sweaters.
Mo-om.
She waved Nicole off. Let me try these things on.
Twenty minutes later, she paid for a pair of slim-fitting pants, a tunic-length sweater and a chunky silver necklace to wear over it.
A very sulky teenager followed her out onto the sidewalk. Where am I supposed to shop?
The Everett Mall is only forty-five minutes away.
Everett!
Bellevue Square isnt much over an hour. Surely some of those friends who used to pick you up every morning will come up here and get you once in a while.
Oh, right. Nicole flung herself into the passenger seat of the car and slumped down, her expression tight. Theyre supposed to drive for almost four hours just to see me.
Once behind the wheel, Teresa studied her daughter. She looked and sounded so unhappy Teresa reached out and stroked her hair. Sweetheart
Nicole averted her face. Oh, please. Spare me the lecture about making the best of it.
Teresa hesitated, then started the car. Maybe, determined that her children be as happy about the move as shed been, she had been insensitive to Nicoles misery. On one level, she understood it; on another, she didnt at all. She hadnt been as social a creature as her daughter was. At that age, shed been absorbed in her books and her studies and her ambition for the future. Shed had friends of course, but she didnt remember missing them all that much when she went off to college. Probably she wouldnt have missed them any more if her family had moved.
And here shed been accusing Nicole of being self-absorbed. Maybe, Teresa thought ruefully, she was the selfish one. Shed convinced herself that the kids would be better off in small-town America because this was what she wanted for herself. She still thought this was a better place to raise childrenbut maybe Nicole was already too formed by her environment to adjust. Maybe, along with the veterinary practice and the farmhouse, Teresa had bought her daughter unhappiness.
The thought was an unsettling one.
IT WAS STILL on her mind on Friday as she dressed for her date with Joe Hughes. Nicole hadnt been happy to hear that her mother was going out with the logger and that she was condemned to baby-sit her little brother. It didnt help when Teresa pointed out that Nicole would have been sitting home, anyway.
Realizing her mistake immediately, Teresa tried to amend it. You havent picked up any baby-sitting clientele yet
How can I? I dont know anybody.
Why dont I put up a notice for you at the clinic?
Nicole lifted one finger and traced a dispirited circle in the air. Wow.
Joe mentioned brothers and sisters. Maybe they have kids.
Mom. Nicole waited until her mother turned to look at her. I dont care if I baby-sit. I dont need the money. Theres nowhere to shop, remember? Nobody to shop with? Okay?
Teresa gritted her teeth at the snotty tone, but decided to let it pass. This time.
She ended up wearing the outfit shed bought in town that day with Nicole. If Joe showed up in a suit and tie, shed whisk back into the bedroom and exchange the leggings for a calf-length gauzy skirt.
As it turned out, he wore jeans and a plaid sports shirt that echoed the extraordinary blue of his eyes. His eyes took in her appearance with one swift assessing glance and returned, obviously approving, to her face.
Do you like Mexican food? I thought wed go to La Hacienda here in town.
Love it, she assured him, standing aside. Joe, Id like you to meet my kids. Nicole, Mark, come here.
He shook hands solemnly with both, didnt remark on Nicoles teenage sulkiness and agreed with Mark that soccer was a popular sport in White Horse.
One of my nieces plays select soccer, Joe said. Shes darn good. They go to tournaments all over the state.
Thatd be cool. Marks eyes were wide.
Briskly Teresa ended the preliminaries. See you, guys. I dont know what time Ill be home.
In the pickup, Joe said, I feel a little guilty leaving them behind. I could feed them, too
No! she exclaimed, then saw his surprise and amusement. She made a face. Nicoles driving me nuts, she admitted. I need a break. There was more, of course. The moment shed answered the door, shed remembered why shed wanted so badly to go out with this man. The fantasies shed indulged in this past week had not included her children.
You ought to talk to Jess. Her oldest is, uh he obviously had to calculate twelve going on thirteen. Shes been a pain in the butt lately.
Maybe I will. Tell me, how many nieces and nephews do you have?
Uh More calculations. Seven. Lee has four, Jess two and Rebecca one. Although shes expecting another.
And you all live here in town?
He offered her that heart-stopping grin. Pretty overwhelming, huh?
Had she sounded rude? She would have liked to see her own sisters and their families more often, but
My younger sister was so nosy, she said. Still is.
My mother is the nosy one. His big shoulders moved. I ignore her.
Teresa could imagine that. His rock-solid steadiness was part of what attracted her, but it wouldnt make him a flexible man. So to speak.
You dont have any kids? She hoped her question sounded casual.
Never been married. The statement so carefully held no inflection it should have stopped her from commenting. It didnt.
Youre kidding.
Joe shot her a glance. Whys that so surprising?
Because youre, ah Fumbling for words, she settled for the truth. Youre a hunk. I cant believe some woman didnt snap you up.
Like a tasty fly? he asked wryly.
Teresa couldnt resist it. She chanted, There was a young woman who swallowed a fly
And now shell die? he concluded.
Of happiness, maybe, Teresa thought, but had the sense not to say.
I guess the whole analogy is a little she grinned distasteful.
He groaned. Oh, God, a woman who likes puns.
Didnt someone say its the highest form of humor?
Are you sure it wasnt the lowest?
You should have heard us in vet school, Teresa said cheerfully. We were bad.
Question is, are you hungry?
She blinked and looked around. Heavens, they were parked in front of the restaurant. How long had they been here while she blathered?
Starved, she admitted. A day of standing around always makes me think about food.
He started to circle the truck, presumably to get the door for her; she didnt wait. If he wanted a lady, he could look elsewhere. But all he said was, Things no better at work?
Heck no. Teresa sighed. Lets talk about something else.
Over enchiladas, they did. She chattered on about her years of school; he merely shook his head when she asked if hed gone to college.
Howd you get started in logging?
Summer jobs, he said easily. By the time I got out of high school, I was already a cutterI was the one who climbed the trees to top em, or take some limbs out. Pay was too good for me to bother looking around for any other line of work. My boss encouraged me to learn to cruisethats estimating what a stand of timber is worth, so you can make a realistic bid on it. I always had a head for math. He shrugged. Got some money put away, went into business for myself. Now I keep six other men working.
Youre a family of entrepreneurs.
Who wants to work for someone else? His gaze was shrewd. Isnt that why you bought into a practice?
She paused in the midst of cutting her enchilada. I suppose so. Well, partly. Its not the money-making side of being a vet that interests me. I wanted more responsibility. In Bellevue I worked at this big clinic with half a dozen vets. It was like I just put in my timeI didnt make the overall decisions, which sometimes bothered me. For example, I thought our charges were too high. Especially for preventative medicine. I wanted us to keep neutering and vaccination costs to the very minimum. The partners smiled and told me I wasnt looking at the big picture.
Youre an idealist. The faintest of smiles lurked in his eyes.
Teresa wrinkled her nose. I suppose so. But partly I was being selfish, too. I was bored. In vet school I especially enjoyed the large-animal work, and we didnt do any of that where I worked. I was hoping for a mix.
Which you found.
In theory.
Theyll come around, he said quietly.
Damn straight they will. She frowned at him. Im going to get every one of those farmers to admit Im the best vet theyve ever had!
You show em. His smile seemed a bit rueful, and she wondered why.
Do you think a man could do a better job? She tilted her chin up in challenge. Come on. Be honest. What if you needed a mechanic to fix thatthat hundred-thousand-dollar monster you had out at my place the other day. Would you hire a woman?
Skidder. And it cost a hell of a lot more than a hundred thousand. Joe set down his fork. Yeah, Id hire a woman if I thought she was the best mechanic. You cant outmuscle a machine that size, or a horse or a cow. You need to outthink em. Ive seen Jess with those horses of hers. Shes a small woman. Those Arabs would do damn near anything for her.
A sigh escaped Teresa, leaving her deflated. Sorry. I get worked up.
Its your livelihood.
I dont like injustice.
Prejudice of any kind isnt pretty.
She almost asked what he knew about it. A handsome white malehe had it made, right? But shed be a fool to leap to that kind of easy assumption. A kid could be the odd one out for any number of reasons. A teacher friend had once told Teresa there was a leper in every class, as if the group as a whole could only bond through rejecting someone who didnt fit. Teresa had memories of some kids shed gone to school with who didnt fit. Looking back, she couldnt even remember why. Maybe they gave off the wrong pheromones or something.
Not that there was anything wrong with Joe Hughess pheromones.
Figuring shed pushed the limit on sensitive subjects, Teresa backed off over coffee. Since clients wont let me treat their animals, she said, Ive been doing most of the billing and follow-ups. Do you ever have trouble collecting debts?
His mouth curled. I just tell em Ill be back with the skidder and take their roof off in pieces. Check is usually in the mail.
She laughed. Okay. So we should get a rabid Doberman and plan to turn it loose on anyone over thirty days late?
There you go. The smiling intimacy in his eyes was enough to make her think about other even more intimate expressionsand about the approaching end to the evening.
Surely he would kiss her. She hadnt been on a date where the man didnt at least give her a peck on the lips. Although truth to tell, she hadnt been on that many dates. After Toms death, she had gone into shock. It must have been a year or more before the numbness began to wear off, letting her be mad as hell at him. And miss him.
She was embarrassed to remember her astonishment when a fellow vet asked her out to dinner and to the symphony. Shed almost blurted, Me? You want me to go with you? Why? Then a vague memory of such rituals had clicked in, and shed realized that, yes, he was a man and, yes, she was woman. Both single. Good Lord, he was interested in her!
Shed gone; why not? She knew him, if not well. It seemed an easy reintroduction to the world of dating. She wasnt all that impressed, either with that date or the scattered few that followed. She never had liked groping for conversation or realizing halfway through dinner that she didnt want that wet mouth to cover hers.
No such problem tonight. Obviously shed been celibate too long. That had to be the explanation for why she kept staring at Joes hands, big and tanned and callused, and imagining how those calluses would feel against her skin. Tom had been an airline pilot. Smooth well-kept hands. Nothing like this mans.
And that mouth, tight and controlled. He tilted it into a smile from time to time, even grinned roguishly, but somehow she never had the sense he was really relaxing. Oh, yes, shed like to see him lose control.
At this point in her speculation, of course, she realized that he was watching her with interest, one eyebrow raised, and that she must have been staring, her expression giving away God knew what. Shed never been accused of being poker-faced.
Damned if she didnt blush. Sorry. I, uh
You were thinking, he said tactfully. Then a grin twitched the corner of his mouth. Not that I wouldnt be interested in knowing what you were thinking, but to get back to your question, actually I dont have too many problems with debt collection. As you know, I get half up front, which is enough to pay the men. A lot of my work is on a larger scale than your job. I log land thats going to be developed, for example. I suspect its the smaller bills people put off paying.
I hate dunning people. Teresa made a face. But then, thats what I let myself in for when I insisted on a partnership.
In a perfect world
In a perfect world, everybody would have plenty of money to pay their bills. And my daughter would be eagerly making new friends. And the woman you take out on a first date wouldnt spend it whining.
You havent whined. Youve talked about your problems. I dont mind.
You havent talked about yours, she said.
His lean dark face went expressionless again. I guess I dont have any pressing ones at the moment.
If hed just quirked an eyebrow or smiled apologetically or done anything else, shed have believed him. As it was, she had the feeling shed just walked up against an electric fence: invisible but powerful.
The waiter presented the bill; Joe paid. Outside, the sun was sinking in the west over Puget Sound and the hazy line of the Olympic Mountains. It must be eight-thirty, but days were still long at this time of year. Teresa didnt protest when Joe used his hand on the small of her back to steer her toward his pickup. As if she didnt know where it was.
Sure you dont want to go to a movie? Joe asked.
I wish I could, she said, meaning it. But Id better not. I have to be at work awfully early tomorrow.
He nodded, and she wished she could tell if he had asked again only to be polite. The short drive to her house was mostly silent. She wondered what he was thinking, anticipated that moment when hed turn toward her, hoped her children would be tactful enough not to dash out to meet her when they heard the engine. She should have rented them a video, something engrossing. Next time
The pickup pulled into her long driveway. She needed to mow again, she noticed, with one tiny corner of her consciousness. The rest of it was occupied with agonizing. What if he didnt kiss her? Maybe hed invited her out because hed felt cornered; shed been obvious enough, coming right out and asking if he was married. Maybe he didnt like direct women.
Then they might as well forget the whole thing right now, she admitted.
The pickup slowed, stopped. No dogs; the kids must have let them in the house. He killed the engine. The front door of her house didnt fly open. He turned toward her.
Teresa took a deep breath and smiled. Thanks for dinner, Joe. I enjoyed myself.
Me, too. His voice had roughened slightly. With surprising awkwardness, he said, I dont suppose we have an awful lot in common, butmaybe we could do it again.
Was that a brush-off? Good Lord, why was she panicking? This was a first date! If it worked, it worked. If it didnt, it didnt.
Sure, she murmured.
He reached out more tentatively than she might have expected, although his hand was solid and warm on the back of her neck. His thumb traced a circle around the bump of her vertebra, which had the effect of tapping a Morse code directly into her spinal cord. This feels good. More. More.
He bent his head as though giving her time to withdraw. Fat chance. His lips were soft and dry and as warm as that big hand, gently massaging her neck. Their mouths brushed together, once, twice, before his settled more firmly on hers and nudged her lips apart. By that time, she was enthusiastically participating.
If he minded her leaning into him and nibbling at his lower lip, his groan wasnt a good way of telling her. His other hand gripped her upper arm and tugged her even closer. Somehow his mouth was hot and damp now, and his tongue had touched hers, circled it just like his thumb was circling on her nape. She felt as mindless as a teenager making out with the object of her first crush.
More. More.
Joe was the one to pull back a little and let out a shaky breath. I think, he said huskily, wed better say good-night.
Good-night?
Isnt that the appropriate way to bid someone farewell in the evening?
Consciousness was returning. She tried to straighten with dignity. I knew what you meant.
Good. The trace of amusement in his voice didnt show in the molten blue of his eyes. His hand tightened on her neck, then released her. How about a movie next week? Id suggest tomorrow night, except
When he hesitated, she finished, I might have a rebellion on my hands. Next week sounds good.
He muttered something inarticulate, gave her a quick hard kiss, then got out. She was dazed enough to wait until he came around and opened her door, offering a hand to the little lady so she could hop down from the high seat. He walked her to the door, smiled, his eyes intense, touched her cheek and left her there.
It was the first time since her husbands death shed gone out with a man she wished wasnt leaving.
CHAPTER THREE
NICOLE WAS DISCOURAGED, but she wasnt about to give up. This was her life she was talking about!
Mom didnt even listen when she tried to tell her about her day at school.
The bathrooms are gross, she said. And the girls are all ignoring me. Its like I dont even exist.
Are you sure youre not ignoring them, too? her mother asked, handing her a cookie and a glass of milk, as if she were five years old, home from a day at kindergarten.
Im not walking around grinning like some idiot, saying, Hi, Im new! if thats what you mean, Nicole said disagreeably. She bit into the cookie, which was still warm.
How about the boys?
She shrugged. Oh, some of them are coming on to me. Like Id be interested in any of them. But I guess you wouldnt understand that, would you?
Moms eyes narrowed and she held up one hand. Okay, thats it. Time for a little chat.
Little chats were lectures. Nicole wasnt going to argue during this one. She shouldnt have said that; Mom didnt date very often, even though she was still pretty, and it wasnt like she was marrying the guy. The dig had just slipped out.
Mom put her hands on her hips. A. I will not put up with any more snotty remarks. I know youre unhappy, but you dont have to make everyone else unhappy, too. B. I will have no sympathy for your unhappiness until you start making some effort to adjust to the move. Youd decided you were going to hate this place before you even saw it. Why not give it a chance?
Tears came in a rush and Nicole wailed, Because I was happy before! What was so wrong with that?
Absolutely nothing, her mother said gently. But you can be happy again. Happiness is inside you, not a place.
Nicole took a deep breath, sniffed and wiped at her tears. Jeez, Mom, you ought to write greeting cards.
Her mother gave her a mock frown. Okay, it sounds sappy, but its true, believe it or not.
Are you happy?
One of the nice things about her mother was that she really thought about questions like that before she gave an answer. It would have been easy to snap, Of course Im happy! whether she was or not. But she frowned a little and finally said, Yes, I think I am. She actually sounded surprised. This move is something Ive wanted to do for a long time. Our house in Bellevue fit your dad better than it did me. I like small towns, I like Eric, I like this house. She wrinkled her nose. I guess I like a challenge. And Ive certainly bought into one, havent I?
The screen door banged and both Nicole and her mother looked up. Mark kicked the kitchen door shut, dropped his backpack on a chair and headed straight for the fridge.
Moms face brightened. How was your day?
Nicole knew what he was going to say even before he said it.
Cool! Can I have this chocolate milk?
Sure. Still liking your teacher?
Yeah, shes okay. Hed found the cookies. Shes into astronomy. I like stuff like that.
Make some friends? Mom asked casually, as if it was that easy.
He shrugged and shoved a whole cookie into his mouth. Around it, he mumbled, I hung around with a couple of guys all day. Can I watch TV?
Yes, you may watch TV. For half an hour.
Gol, I dont have any homework or anything. He grabbed three more cookies and his chocolate milk and headed for the living room.
Nicole blew her nose. Her own brother hadnt even noticed shed been crying. How come its so easy for him? she asked.
Her mother kissed the top of her head. It felt good. Comforting. Maybe because his personality is different. Hes always been cheerful and outgoing, uncomplicated. Maybe because hes a boy, and boys accept newcomers more readily. Maybe just his age. Its harder to leave your friends when youre a teenager.
Thenwhy wouldnt you let me stay in Bellevue? I could have finished school there.
Brown eyes serious, her mother faced her. For lots of reasons. I might have considered it if youd been a senior, but you have three more years of high school. I dont think Jaynes parents were really prepared to finish raising you, and I didnt want to let them. Im already in shock at how fast you and Mark are growing up. Youll be gone before I know it. But Im not ready yet, and neither are you. Youre still a kid, and youre mine.
She hardly ever sounded that firm. Secretly Nicole didnt mind. Shed wanted to stay in Bellevue, but the idea of becoming part of her friends family had been a little scary. She hadnt wanted to lose her mother or even Mark, brat though he was. She just didnt want to move.
Now she nodded. But she wasnt going to pretend she was Mark, either. I still hate it here.
I know. Her mother gave her an odd twisted smile. But I hope, after a while, that you wont. Think about getting a horse. That might be some consolation.
Nicole had always wanted a horse more than almost anything else in the world. But she wasnt about to let her mother buy her cooperation. She shrugged sulkily. Im not a little kid anymore.
Well, then, Mom sounded as tart as a green apple, dont act like one.
Nicole stomped off to her bedroom.
LEAVING NICOLE sulking in her bedroom and Mark in front of the TV, Teresa went to town. The farmhouse needed remodeling, starting with the basics, and she might as well take advantage of the rest of her day off. She hadnt forgotten Joes sister worked at Browders Flooring, but Teresa told herself curiosity wasnt why shed chosen to start there.
A woman named Carol offered to help her, then let her browse in peace among the carpet and vinyl samples. Almost immediately she realized shed better choose kitchen and bathroom countertops before the flooring.
The back of the store was a veritable treasure trove, if you liked redoing houses. Shelf after slanted shelf held tiles in a mouth-watering selection of colors and textures. Blinds in colors equally rich covered mock windows on the wall and were topped by calico and satin and wood valances.
Teresa headed straight for a lacy pleated blind that would be perfect for her old house.
At her murmured ooh of pleasure, an amused voice from behind her said, A woman of taste, I can tell. I put that one in my own living room. When Teresa turned, the woman held out one hand. Hi, Im Rebecca Ballard.
Joes sister-with-a-big-mouth. In her mid to late thirties, she had little in common with him physically except the blue eyes. Her curly brown hair brushed her shoulders, her smile was as warm as a cup of hot chocolate, and she was just a little plumpand undeniably pregnant. Teresa liked her on sight.
Teresa Burkett, she introduced herself.
The new vet.
Yes, she said a little warily.
Jess told me about you. Jess Kerrigan. Shes my sister. She said you were dating Joe. Rebecca clapped her hand over her mouth. And I was to pretend I dont know, she said sheepishly.
Teresa grinned. He did mention the family grapevine.
More like a patch of blackberries. You know how fast they spread.
Teresas laugh felt good. Yes, we had dinner. Your brother seems nice. He took out some trees for me and gave me a good deal.
Oh, hes nice. Rebecca shook her head. A little hard to get to know, but dont let that stop you.
She wanted badly to ask why he was so guarded, but refrained. This was, after all, a complete stranger. Her struggle must have showed, though.
His sister tilted her head to one side. Id love to tell you his life history, but I have a suspicion hed be annoyed at me. She thought about it for a moment. Well, probably not annoyed. Mad as hell. Id better let him tell you in his own good time.
Youre probably right, Teresa said. What Im really here for is help picking out some tile. And window covers. And, heck, I even need a new kitchen sink. You dont happen to sell those, do you?
Nope, but I keep some catalogs on hand, so you can match colors if youre not planning to go with plain white or stainless steel. The hardware store sells Kohler and a couple of other brands. Shall I dig the catalogs out?
Teresa spent a happy couple of hours poring over the tiles, carrying them to the vinyl, discussing how best to get the hardwood floors refinished.
My daughters room first, she said. Nicoles miserably unhappy about the move. She keeps bemoaning her old bedrooms built-in vanity and window seat. Maybe I can shut her up by making her new one equally charming.
How old is she? Rebecca asked.
Fifteen.
You have my sympathy. My son, Alan, was barely sixteen when I met my current husband. Alan didnt think he liked him, and you wouldnt believe the stunts he pulled.
Oh, Id believe them, Teresa said grimly.
Rebecca tilted her head to one side again. I dont suppose your daughter is petite, dark-haired and takes French III?
Thats her.
Ah. Alans mentioned her. Rebecca heaved a wallpaper book onto the counter. He thinks shes, uh, pretty.
I dont suppose thats the word he used.
Joes sister gave her a wry look. I dont want to sully your ears with current teenage-boy terminology.
Probably no worse than chick or babe or fox. Teresa contemplated briefly. Babe and baby were always my personal pet peeves. Theyre soso
Belittling? Rebecca asked. Sort of like going through life as Becky?
Exactly! Teresa raised her eyebrows. You didnt start that way, did you?
No. Sam, my husband, asked once if I liked to be called Becky. I told him only if he wanted to be Sammy. That nipped it in the bud.
I can see why, Teresa agreed, amused.
She borrowed samples of tiles, wallpaper and vinyl, then made an appointment for Rebecca to come to the house and take measurements. Shed let Nicole pick out her own wallpaper and window coveringswithin reason.
Lugging the wallpaper books, she came in the back door to hear the phone ringing. Both the kids were upstairs. She dropped the books on the table and grabbed the receiver on the fifth ring.
Hello?
Teresa, this is Joe. Joe Hughes.
Youre the only Joe I know, she said. Hey, a poem.
He groaned. Just dont add another line, okay?
All right. I cant think of anything that rhymes, anyway. Except toe. And no. Neither of which are fraught with possibilities. Unless you want to get kinky.
Silence. Then, I wont answer that one.
Very wise. She leaned against the counter. So, uh, what can I do for you?
His voice was low and amused. Do you want to get kinky?
She chuckled. I set myself up for that one, didnt I?
Yup. She could hear his smile, which sent a flood of warmth through her. Actually, he went on, what I called for was to ask if youd like to have dinner again.
Id love to, she said promptly. If we can make it Saturday night, I could even stay out later than nine oclock. I dont work Sunday. Its Erics turn to be on call.
Saturday sounds good, Joe agreed. How about a movie, too?
As long as its not too gory.
Youre a vet. Youre used to blood and guts.
Not human blood.
Youd faint if I cut myself?
Probably, she said cheerfully. Theres a reason I didnt become an M.D.
Why dont I believe you?
I dont know. Why dont you?
He only laughed. She loved his laugh, a husky rumble that sounded just a little rusty, as if he didnt laugh often enough. Well, he lived alone, so he probably didnt. To keep their sense of humor intact, adults required children. Or maybe it worked the other way around: you required a sense of humor to stand your children.
THE WEEK SEEMED LONG without seeing Joe. It was funny, considering she hardly knew him. She watched for him in the grocery store and at stoplights. Logging trucks, a common sight in a town with two lumber mills, reminded her of him. She did see his sister, Jess, once to wave to, and Rebecca came out and took measurements. Teresa craned her neck every time she drove past the auto-body-repair place on Third. She felt like a teenage girl with her first crush. It felt like a first crush; falling in love with Tom had happened an eternity ago. The first flush of romantic feelings were unfamiliar but absurdly sweet.
The saving grace was that she was busy at work. Not doing farm calls; of necessity, Eric handled all of them. Which meant that the clients who arrived with a sick cat or an injured dog had to accept her or go to the other animal hospital in town, where, Eric had told her, the vets seemed to rotate more often than a horse threw shoes. Teresa was accepted. She brought an epileptic spaniel out of a prolonged seizure with phenobarbital, stitched up a Lab that had argued with a car, catheterized a cat with a blocked urethra and removed a fish hook from a dogs lip. Hed apparently tried to snap up the fly when the owner was practicing casting.
As she calmly handled one emergency after another, it seemed to her that the staff was warming to her. Theyd been pleasant but distant thus far: she was their employer, but that didnt mean they had to like or respect her. She began to hope that theyd decided to do both.
On Friday morning, she had to put down a puppy with parvo. She comforted the owner, thanked the technician who was disposing of the body, then walked into the office and started to cry.
Dr. Burkett? someone said uncertainly.
She snatched a tissue and looked up.
Marilyn, the younger of the two technicians on duty, stood in the doorway. Im sorry. Theres a phone call
Thats okay. Teresa gave a wavery smile. I just hate doing that. I should be colder, shouldnt I?
No. Marilyns smile trembled, too. Her own eyes, now that Teresa looked, were red.
Teresa took the call and saw another client a few minutes later. The routine marched on. But something had changed; for the first time, Marilyn and Libby, the other veterinary technician working that day, invited her to join them for lunch. It felt like a victory.
When Saturday night finally rolled around, Nicole whined only halfheartedly about having to baby-sit her little brother, who made only the obligatory objection to the words little and baby-sit. Joe knocked on the door promptly at seven, Teresa called goodbye to her kids and whisked out onto the porch.
Joes smile was the deliciously slow lazy one that muddled her insides. Cabin fever? he asked.
Kid fever. She smiled back. Actually, theyre being good. Amazingly good. I figure if I make a quick escape, it might stay that way.
Belatedly it occurred to her that, if she was imagining Joe as husband material, she ought to quit complaining about her children. After all, husband also meant stepfather. The way shed been talking, he must think her kids were hell on wheels.
She made a point over dinner of bragging about them. Which, she realized in amusement, must mean she was thinking about him as a potential husband.
Mark never seems to lift a finger, but he gets perfect grades. Hell be starting in the gifted program, which Im excited about. I know he gets bored sometimes.
Joe only nodded. His face was annoyingly expressionless. She couldnt decide whether she was boring him or whether he was only waiting for her to go on. Well, if he was boredtough. She came as a package with her kids.
Nicoles a good student, too, but what she lovesbesides boys, of courseis to dance. Ballet and jazz both.
Theres a dance school in White Horse, you know.
Is there? She set down her fork. They were eating at a waterfront restaurant on Marine View Drive in Everett. Boats at a marina just below the big windows bobbed gently on quiet shimmering swells. I hadnt checked into it yet. I ought to get her started.
Two of my nieces dance. Joe grinned ruefully. I get to see the recital every year. Thank God theyve progressed from the junior recital to the senior one. The first year, I thought the three-year-olds in their pink tutus were cute. By the second year, I was wondering why the hell their parents were paying for dance lessons when they were obviously too young even to learn how to stay in line, never mind how to pirouette.
I remember those days. Oh, boy, did she. Ragged rows of little girlsand an occasional boy whose friends hadnt yet persuaded him it was unmanly to dance. Usually thered be a couple who had some vague idea what to do, and one or two sucking their thumbs, frozen in terror. The rest would just kind of wander around.
One of my nieces was a thumb sucker. We have it captured for all time on videotape.
You sound like a fond uncle.
His big shoulders moved uneasily, as though he didnt know how to take compliments. Yeah, I guess so. Tell you the truth, Ive tried to stand in for Rebeccas first husband and Jesss ex. Neither of them was any great shakes as a parent. Alan especiallyRebeccas boyneeded a man around sometimes. Before Rebecca remarried of course. I, uh, didnt mind.
Okay, so he hadnt been bored; he liked kids. Definitely husband material. Except that he couldnt be as good as he looked. Otherwise, why wasnt he married? Teresa didnt believe in that waiting for the right woman stuff. Just like animals, humans reached an age when they were ready to mate. Occasionally that urge got sidetrackedit often happened to vet students, because they were too busy and too tired for the dating rounds. But Joe must be in his mid-thirties at least. So what had he been doing, instead of marrying?
How old are you? she asked.
He looked startled, but answered willingly enough. Thirty-six. You?
Thirty-five. And yes, before you count back, I had Nicole before I started veterinary school. I must have been nuts. Fortunately, while Tom may have had his flaws, he was a great father. We did wait to have Mark until I was done with my schooling, though.
Does Mark even remember his father?
Yes, but his memories are fading, she said with sharp regret. He was in his second day of kindergarten when I had to meet him at the bus with the news that his dad was dead. Its natural that hell forget him. I mean, all you have to do is think back. If youre like me, you can hardly remember your kindergarten days.
I remember them. Before she could begin to speculate about what his flat tone meant, he added, That must mean you just passed the anniversary of your husbands death. Does it still hit you hard?
It has before, but not so much this year. She made a face. I was so damned mad at a farmer who decided he didnt really need a vet when he saw me get out of the car, it carried me through the day.
His mouth had an odd twist. Anger is a useful emotion.
Mmm. All she had to do was remember the days after Toms death. Very.
Joe glanced at his watch. Still in the mood for a movie?
You bet. I even looked at the listings in the paper. I dont suppose you like sword and sorcery?
He lifted an eyebrow. Swordplay usually leads to some blood and gore. Dont I remember that being forbidden?
Its different from a contemporary shoot em up, she tried to explain. Less realistic. In a fantasy, the blood doesnt count.
He loomed above her as he helped her out of her chair. More of that sense of being fragile and feminine that she usually hated. I think youre splitting hairs, he said in amusement.
Swirling capes and galloping horses are romantic.
The truth comes out! All women want is romance.
She had to ask. Is there something wrong with romance?
Their eyes met, held. Her skin tingled. No, he said quietly. Theres nothing wrong with romance.
The other patrons and the hovering waitress blurred; for a heartbeat, only the two of them existed. Then she blinked, or he did, and the moment passed. He was laying some bills on the table, thanking the waitress, holding out Teresas sweater for her. Slipping her arms into it, Teresa gave her head a small shake. Had she imagined the intensity of that look?
Then Joes eyes met hers again, and she thought, No. I didnt imagine it. Why else was he so wary now?
Her dates in recent years had taken her to French restaurants and the symphony and the opera. When half an hour later she settled into the plush seat at the movie theater, her upper arm just brushing Joes, Teresa decided this was more romantic, no matter what movie was projected onto the big screen.
The lights were already dimming; she was very conscious of the man so close beside her. She felt his every breath, knew when he glanced at her, even though she pretended to watch the previews. Would he put his arm around her? She would have liked to lay her hand on his thigh. Her eyes and the nearly forgotten recesses of her memory told her it would be solid, bulky. The muscles might ripple under her touch.
She swallowed hard, disconcerted by the strength of her longing. What was wrong with her?
Joe reached out and took her hand. She jumped, and he whispered, Sorry, and started to let her go.
She grabbed his hand and held on. His went still for a surprised moment, then relaxed and returned her clasp. He exhaled what might have been a chuckle.
Then he lifted their clasped hands and laid them on his thigh. Oh God, had he read her mind? He shifted in his seat, and the muscles under the fabric of his pants bunched. Teresa sat motionless, taking in every sensation. Heaven.
It wasnt Joe in particular, she told herself in panic; it couldnt be, not so quickly. He must just represent something to hersolidity, masculinity, a calm reassuring presence. A sexy body, honesty made her add; a sensual mouth, hands that knew how to touch a woman. In other words, a man. Shed turned into that pathetic creature, a sex-starved widow whod take whatever she could get.
Well, no. Shed had other chances to take, and turned them down. This was the first time shed been tempted to grab and hold on. Literally and figuratively. So maybe it was Joe. Maybe him in particular, or because he represented whatever shed been looking for when she bought into the White Horse Animal Hospital and practice.
It might be fun to find out.
Eventually Joe let her hand go, and she made a tiny noise of disappointment she prayed he hadnt heard. But apparently hed only released her so that he could put his arm around her shoulders. Now he tugged her closer to his warmth. Of course, the arm of the theater seat dug into her rib cage, but who was noticing? The feel of his mouth against her hair was far too tantalizing.
After a while, he murmured, Ever necked in a movie theater?
She sneaked a glance around to make sure no one had sat near them. Only a few others were scattered throughout the theater. The movie had been out for weeks and was probably about ready to disappear from Everett. Nobody was nearby at all.
Not since I was young enough for a curfew.
Me, neither. Want to pretend were too young and horny to wait until we can find a deserted side road?
Pretend. Oh, sure. She could do that. Why not? she whispered, and turned her head to meet his mouth. Pure excitement shot through her. It added eagerness and urgency to their kiss from the moment his lips claimed hers.
They kept it discreet. Nobody moaned or whimpered. Joe didnt rip her clothes off or throw her down onto the sloping aisle. Not, as far as she was concerned, for lack of wanting. After the first few seconds, pretty much anything would have been fine with her. Which was, when she thought about it for a fleeting moment, alarming. What was happening to her?
Whatever it was, it felt good. His hand brushed her breast, cupped it. His teeth grazed her neck. She nipped the lobe of his ear. She tasted the skin at the base of his strong brown throat. She kneaded the muscles on his shoulders and neck. She hadnt the slightest idea what happened to the sorceress in distress up on the movie screen. She didnt care.
When the credits rolled, they rearranged their clothing to leave. Teresa was very careful not to look at anyone else, just in case theyd glanced over their shoulders and noticed the couple in back. She didnt want to face a knowing smile or disapproving frown. Blast it, she was blushing again!
Thank God, she thought suddenly, that Nicole hadnt made any friends! What if one of them had seen her mother carry on this way? Nicole would have run away from home.
Teresa wasnt eager to meet Joes eyes, either. They passed through the lobby and out into the night. A mist scented the air and glistened off the pavement and car windshields under the yellow sodium lamps. Joe unlocked the passenger door first and held it open for her. Inside, she stared straight ahead while he circled the pickup and climbed in behind the wheel. He didnt start the engine. She felt his gaze.
I dont suppose you want to find that deserted road.
I, uh, dont think thatd be such a good idea.
Are you embarrassed or mad?
She appreciated his bluntness. It made it easier to turn toward him. Embarrassed, she admitted.
I dont usually act like a randy teenager.
I didnt do any better.
I enjoyed it, he confessed.
Me, too.
Then? He waited.
Oh, heck. She fidgeted with the seat belt. I just dont want you to think
I dont.
Oh, well, since weve settled that
He must have liked her sarcasm, because he laughed. Ill give you a chaste good-night kiss. On the cheek.
Something to live for.
He laughed again, the sound less rusty than the first time shed heard it. She had some use in life.
The good-night kiss wasnt all that chaste. But this time, there wasnt any potential audience, either. Her legs felt a little shaky when Joe walked her to the front door. She didnt want him to go tonight, either, which made her wonder with renewed panic where, and how quickly, this relationship was headed. How long would hewould shebe content with kisses? Was she really ready to have an affair with a man she hadnt met three weeks ago?
And in all honesty she had to admit she didnt know him very well. They talked, they laughed, but he hadnt let her see below the surface. Maybe he had no profound secrets, but everyone had a darker side. Every time she edged too close to a truly personal issue, his face went expressionless. Even kissing her, he hadnt yet reached the edge of control. How could she make love with a man shed never seen angry, despairing, laughing helplessly? She wanted to know that he went deeper than amusement, amiable charm, lazy sensuality.
Maybe she was expecting too much after two dateswell, counting the lunch, two and a half. It wasnt as if shed done anything to goad him to anger or despair, or that she was all that funny.
But then, she shouldnt be thinking about making love with him, either. It was too soon.
Oh, how she wished it wasnt.
CHAPTER FOUR
DAMN IT, WELL JUST send you, anyway. Eric dropped his scalpel and reached for a handful of gauze sponges. He was working on a shepherd with an ear hematoma. Teresa had anesthetized the dog and now stood watching her partner. It was a pleasurein more ways than one. He worked quickly and neatly. He also looked damned good while he was doing it. Tall and rangy, he had close-cropped blond hair, a narrow intelligent face and gray-green eyes that could be as sharp as his scalpel. He didnt stir up her hormones, though, and she couldnt figure out why. In his own way, he was as sexy as Joe Hughes.
What can they say? Eric continued. Even if you were incompetent, its not as though you could do any damage on a preg check.
Except be wrong, she said. Knowing as early as possible that a breeding had taken was critical to the dairy farmersthus the monthly pregnancy checks.
He grunted and clipped off a piece of suture material. You know, weve been letting a few of the old farts keep you from doing farm calls. Truth is, plenty of the younger dairy farmers wouldnt mind a woman. Some of them have wives who are darn near equal partners. All they care is whether you can do the job.
I can do it.
Then you take the farm calls today. He nodded toward the office. Itll be a hell of a day. Ten farms, I think. Youll be shoulder deep in
She didnt need him to tell her what shed be shoulder deep in. Cowsespecially dairy cowsmade a toddler with diarrhea seem like a poor producer. I dont mind, she said.
Eric flashed her a quick grin. Have fun.
And if we make someone mad?
We can afford to lose some customers. They get damned good service from us. If they go with another veterinarian, so be it. Their loss.
Youre a prince, Teresa told him, and headed off to finish loading up the truck.
An hour later, she was driving through one of the mountain valleys, where an early snowfall already gleamed on the peaks. She found the first farm with no problem. A Dairy of Merit sign hung proudly out front. Long low red barns and green fenced pastures beyond made a postcard-pretty scene.
Teresa parked in front of the nearest barn and climbed out. She already wore rubber boots and overalls over a heavy flannel shirt. She was shrugging into the vinyl vest and reaching for a plastic sleeve to cover her arm when the farmer appeared in the barn door.
Hi, she said, holding out a hand. Eric was tied up today. Im Dr. Burkett, his new partner.
The middle-aged man in the dairymans customary costume of jeans and high rubber boots shook her hand without noticeable enthusiasm. Know dairy cows?
You bet. Shed done some reading to update her knowledge, acquired during an internship in Minnesota. After that year, shed looked forward to working in a warm clinic on animals she outweighed. But the cold stinky physical parts of the job had faded quickly from her memory, leaving the good parts: the satisfaction of helping with a difficult birth, of curing instantly a cow down with milk fever, the relationships with farmers. Shed come to miss the Jerseys and Holsteins, with their generally good natures and soft brown eyes.
This farmer jerked his head toward the open double doors. I have the first batch locked in.
Figuring hed prefer someone laconic, she only nodded and grabbed her tray of syringes, prepared with anything she might need.
They passed the milking parlor, spotlessly clean. A dozen black-and-white Holsteins were lined up, heads locked into stanchions, in a concrete holding area. Teresa breathed in the odors, which shed never found objectionable. Setting down the tray, she went straight to work.
Number 23, she said, peering at the ear tag.
The farmer nodded and referred to his clipboard. Bred September 5.
Teresa inserted her hand into the cows rectum and began cleaning it out. Green manure splashed at her feet. Eventually, concentrating, she reached in deep, feeling through the wall of the rectum for the uterus and the pea-size growth of a new calf. She smiled when she found it.
Pregnant.
The farmer nodded and made a check on his list.
Number 138, she said, moving on to the next cow. The rump shifted away and she grabbed the tail.
September 10.
Nope, she concluded at last.
They fell into a rhythm that she remembered and enjoyed; few words were exchanged, and those were to the point. Along with the pregnancy checks, she examined the cows that had recently given birth, treating a few for infections.
When she finished the first batch, the farmer released the metal stanchions and waved the animals out into a loafing area. Another man chased the next ten in. Grain lured them to thrust their heads through the locking mechanism. Teresa shook liquid manure off her arm, clad in clear plastic, and called out the first number.
When she was done, she threw away her plastic sleeve and hosed herself down. Manure sluiced off her boots and overalls.
The farmer asked if she wanted to look around, and she agreed. In a separate barn, she paused, gazing down at the calves. She scratched a snowy white soft head, and lips nuzzled her hand.
Daughter takes care of those, the farmer said.
Teresa nodded. Bottle-feeding the calves was often a womans job on a dairy farm. Typically the newborn calves were allowed to nurse for the first three to four days, for the sake of the health-giving colostrum, then bottle-raised on a milk replacer so the more valuable milk could be sold. By the time they were a month old, the calves were weaned even from that.
Do you raise your own heifers? Teresa asked.
He shook his head. We send ours at three or four months to a farm in eastern Washington to be raised. Dont have enough pasture here.
That, too, shed gathered, was typical of dairies on this side of the mountains. This farmer had a dairy herd of perhaps 160 cows, and as little as fifty or sixty acres. He wouldnt be growing his own hay, either, as a larger farm might. Yet she was impressed with the cleanliness of the barns and the condition of the herd. The pregnancy rate was high, too, a sign that everything else was going well.
The tour over, the farmer walked her out to her truck. Eric be back next month?
Her heart sank at the question. Probably, she said, although eventually wed like me to be handling half the calls.
Youre quicker at the preg checks than he is, the dairyman said unexpectedly.
A compliment? Or was he implying that shed gone so fast as to seem careless?
I always had a knack.
Either of you want to handle calls here, thats fine.
She felt like babbling gratefully. Instead, she nodded and offered him a smile with enough wattage to hint that hed given her a gift. You have a nice place. I look forward to working with you.
He nodded now; she climbed into the truck, waved and drove away. Barely out of his sight, she began caroling, Oh, what a beautiful morning!
Of course, her whole day couldnt be that easy. Three of the remaining farmers greeted her matter-of-factly. Three were wary and noncommittal. Two refused to let her do the preg checks. The last grudgingly let her into the barn only because he had two cases of milk fever and desperately needed her to wield the syringe that would have his cows leaping to their feet and strolling off to the loafing shed as though nothing had ever been wrong.
He watched them go suspiciously, as though she might somehow have tricked both the cows and him. After a moment he grunted. Since youre already here
She was tempted to try to work even faster to impress him. She curtailed the temptation. A mistake would kill her reputation for good. Instead, she worked deliberately, calling out numbers, wrestling with recalcitrant cow butts, confirming and denying pregnancy.
She was examining a pretty little Jersey when the farmer said gruffly, That one has a blocked teat. Feels like a pea in there.
Ill take a look when Im done, she said.
They herded the Jersey into a station in the milking parlor, where Teresa could stand in the center aisle, three feet below the stall level. As the cow shifted restlessly, she manipulated the long pale teat.
Let me tranquilize her, Teresa said after a moment. She chose the base of the tail for the injection and waited until the cow swayed. Then she pulled out her forceps and probed inside. It took only a moment to remove the hard whitish blob.
She showed it to the farmer. Scar tissue. Probably left over from mastitis.
He grunted. Snipped the teat, did you? I suppose wed better treat her for mastitis now.
I didnt have to cut it, Teresa said. Just keep an eye on her.
Ah. The look he gave Teresa wasnt warm, but it had thawed. Treating for mastitis meant the cows milk was unusable. Shed just saved him some bucks.
He, too, walked her out to the truck. So youre the new partner.
Thats right. She unbuckled the rubber overalls and peeled them down.
I suppose Ill be seeing you again.
Well try to accommodate preferences, she said evenly. But that may not always be possible.
He nodded, which could have meant anything from understanding to acquiescence. Teresa chose to take it as the latter. Shed done well.
Eric agreed when she got back to the hospital. Two phone calls saying they liked you, he informed her when shed tracked him down to the kennel. Their resident cat, a huge fat tortoiseshell, sat slavishly at his feet. He was petting the still-groggy shepherd, who now had one floppy ear.
She crossed her arms. And the two who wouldnt let me in their barns?
One wants to know when I can come. The other says hes changing services.
Oh, for Petes sake! She stomped across the room, then swung around violently. If theyd just give me a chance
Eric closed the cage door and rose to his feet, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. Ol Man Eide says he did only because he couldnt wait. He sounded grudging, but hes willing to concede youre okay.
Eide? That was my last call.
Yup.
And he phoned you to praise me?
I think okay is praise in his book.
Teresa pumped her fist. Yes!
Eric slapped her on the back. Youll win em over.
Already, she reflected as she unloaded the truck, it felt as if she and Eric had worked together forever. As if they were best friends. It was a good thing they didnt stir each others hormones.
HES HERE AGAIN, Nicole said into the telephone to her best friend from Bellevue. He didnt even make an excuse for stopping by this time!
He? Jayne echoed. Oh. You mean that guy. The one your mom is seeing.
If she marries him, well be stuck here forever! Nicole said hopelessly.
Hold on. My call waiting is beeping.
While Nicole sat listening to silence, she brooded. Couldnt Jayne tell how upset she was? Like some other phone call was so important.
Leaning against her bed, her door shut, she could still hear voices drifting up the stairs. Laughter. She feltshut out. Even though she knew she wasnt really. Mark was down there in the kitchen with them. But she didnt belong.
Five minutes must have passed before her friend came back on the line with a rush. That was him, she said dramatically.
Him? But Nicole knew.
Russ Harlan. He wanted to know if Im going to a party tomorrow night. As if Im going to say no.
Nicoles chest burned with envy and hurt. She struggled to say something. Cool. I hope he asks you out. Something. But she couldnt. It was a relief to hear a beep in her ear.
My call waiting, she said. Just a sec.
The voice was hesitant and male. Can I talk to Nicole?
Speaking, she said coolly.
Hi. This is Bill Nelson. Im, uh, I sit next to you in English. He waited for her to agree that she knew who he was. When she didnt, he stumbled on, I have brown hair. I play football. Im, you know, a linebacker. Wewe talked yesterday. After class.
She could hear him sweating. Bill Nelson was an okay guy, just kind of big and dumb. But she didnt care right now. Did he really think shed go out with him?
What do you want?
He swallowed, making a gulping sound. Iwell, theres this movie in town. Steven Seagal. I thoughtthat is, I hoped Would you go with me?
She felt mean suddenly. Youre joking.
Pause. His voice got a lot quieter. No.
He must be the tenth guy to hit on her since school started. Shed been nicer to the others. They were all such hicks they didnt deserve it. Hicks, like the one sitting at her kitchen table right now.
I have a boyfriend. In Bellevue. Im really not interested.
Oh. Bill cleared his throat. Okay. I, uh Sorry. I didnt know.
No big deal, she said ungraciously. See ya. She pushed the button to cut him off and bring Jayne back onto the line.
Who was that? Jayne asked.
Some guy. Nicole felt a little sick. She shouldnt have been so hateful. It wasnt Bill Nelsons fault that her best friend in the whole world had just snatched the coolest guy she knew away from her.
Are the guys all lame? Jayne sounded pitying.
Nicole gritted her teeth. Of course not. You ought to see the quarterback of the football team. Hes really fine. If I can just figure out how to meet a senior
How hard can it be in a school that small? Jayne didnt let her answer. Well, listen, I gotta go. Im supposed to help Mom with dinner. Then I need to call Kelly and Roz and tell them all about Russ.
Sure.
Wow, I wish you were here like you used to be.
Nicole strained to decide if Jayne meant it or not. Yeah, she said slowly. Me, too.
She had other friends she could have called, but theyd been sounding distant, too. It just wasnt the same, when she hadnt been there at school to see Liza tell off her boyfriend, or hear the new government teacher make an ass of himself, or watch Coach Murphy get a speeding ticket right in front of the high school. Everything was different. One-sided. They told her all the latest, and she grumbled about being stuck in this backwater town. But life hadnt changed for them.
The kitchen door slammed. Nicole lifted her head. Was he leaving? But she could hear Mark talking excitedly and a low calm counterpoint. Careful not to be seen, she went to the window. Sure enough, Mark the traitor was taking a football out onto the lawn with Joe Hughes. They started throwing it, Marks passes wobbling, Joes perfect spirals.
Like Joe was his dad or something. Didnt Mark have any discrimination?
What made her maddest was that she was jealous. He never offered to do stuff with her. Actually, she thought she made him uncomfortable. Well, that was how he made her feel. Like neither of them belonged when the other one was around.
But watching her brother and him through the window, Mark chattering, Joe not saying much but making every catch look easy, as though her little brother had a great arm, she had this flash of dj? vu. Their yard in Bellevue hadnt been very big, but she remembered looking out from her bedroom window seat because she heard her fathers voice out there and seeing him and Mark throwing a football. In her memory, it was bright blueprobably a Nerf ball. But thered been some connection between them, a closeness that had made her feel jealous for a moment, before shed heard footsteps on the stairs and her mothers voice calling her. Shed jumped off the window seat and run to her bedroom door
She shook her head, jolted out of the dream remembrance. Had she heard her mother calling? But the house was silent. And when she looked out again, standing to one side of her window, she saw that her mother sat on the back porch steps, arms wrapped around her knees, watching Mark and that guy. Why would she bother calling her, Nicole?
Nicole yanked the ugly curtains closed and threw herself facedown on her bed. She told herself she was crying because she missed her father. Sometimes it was hard even to picture him. But shed just now seen him so vividly, as though it was Dad down there right now, not that redneck logger. She remembered stuff theyd done together, like the time hed taught her ballroom dancing. Sometimes while Mom was cooking dinner, her father would put on a CD, a waltz, maybe, and bow to her. He was a really good dancer. She could almost forget he was her father. Theyd twirl and twirl and twirl, perfectly in time. She guessed that was his way of throwing a ball with her. Maybe that was why she loved to dance so much.
.
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Janice Kay Johnson
All Teresa wants under her Christmas tree is Joe Hughes!Teresa has finally met her perfect man. Joe is gorgeous, strong and passionatebut he also has an intensely private quality that's a challenge to any self-respecting woman.And it's not as though Teresa really needs another challenge in her life. She's just moved to a small town in Washington, which her young son thinks is "cool" and her teenage daughter hates! And even worse, although Teresa's a darn good vet, the local farmers won't let her treat their livestock.But through it all, Teresa can't resist loving Joe. Even when she learns he's keeping a secret that threatens their future happiness.
Is something wrong, Mom?
She ought to tell him she didnt expect to see Joe ever again. But she couldnt. Not at Christmas. No, she said shakily.
Mark nodded, apparently satisfied.
You really like Joe, dont you? Teresa asked.
Mark stopped playing with his Christmas gift from Joe. He lifted his head. Joe was the first man Mark had really cared about since his fathers death. Losing Joe, too, would devastate her son. Her heart wouldnt be the only one breaking.
Yeah, Mark said carefully. Hes really cool. I was thinkingI mean wonderingwell, do you think you might marry him? The last came out in a rush.
She couldnt seem to speak, didnt know what to say.
The truth, she thought. Tell him as much of the truth as you can bear.
If he ever asks me to marry him, Id say yes.
Mark studied her for a long moment, his eyes serious, then gave another decisive nod. Good.
What She Wants for Christmas
Janice Kay Johnson
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
JANICE KAY JOHNSON
Janice Kay Johnson is the author of more than sixty books for adults and children. She has been a finalist for a Romance Writers of America RITA
Award four times for her Harlequin Superromance novels. A former librarian, Janice lives north of Seattle, Washington, and is an active volunteer and board member of Purrfect Pals, a no-kill cat shelter. When not fostering kittens or writing, she gardens, quilts, reads and e-mails her two daughters, who are both in Southern California.
CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER ONE
CANT WE GO shopping?
Thirty seconds after walking in the front door from a lousy day at work, these were not the first words Teresa Burkett wanted to hear from her daughter.
Dont whine, she said automatically. I didnt let you whine when you were two, and Im not going to start now.
Nicole dumped a cat off her lap and rose from her slouch on the sofa. Sounding teenage indignant, she said, Cant I ask a perfectly reasonable question?
Certainly. Teresa headed for the kitchen. Go right ahead.
Mark was already there. A typical ten-going-on-eleven-year-old boy, he was eating. String cheese, a bowl of some sugary cereal and a pop. Teresa shuddered.
She opened the fridge and grabbed a cola. Caffeine. She needed it quick. One long swallow later, she noticed the casserole dish, still covered with aluminum foil, reposing on the refrigerator shelf.
Stay calm. You didnt put dinner on like I asked.
Mo-om. Her pretty dark-haired daughter looked at her as if she were an idiot. It isnt time to put dinner on. Youre home early.
Teresa sighed. Im sorry. I forgot.
Mouth full, Mark asked, How was your day?
Crummy. She made a face. I did three spays, wormed two horses and treated a few miscellaneous cats and dogs. Otherwise, I hung around the clinic hopefully and helped Eric load his truck.
The dairy farmers had decided their animals could afford to wait until the vet they knewa mancould get around to them. They were a conservative lot, these farmers. Their daughters and wives might get their hands dirty helping out, but they didnt make the major decisions and they didnt become veterinarians.
A couple of the farmers had checked Teresa out by bringing their cats or dogs in for treatment. She had to assume that her appearance was part of the problem. Maybe if shed been a big strapping gal, they would have accepted her gender philosophically. Instead, she was a slender five foot four when she stretched. Her wiry strength didnt show. She looked petite and elegant, ornamental instead of useful.
Only, if they wouldnt give her a chance, how the hell did she demonstrate her competence? A wave of panic washed over her. Financially and legally, she was Dr. Eric Bergstroms partner now; shed bought into the practice. But she wouldnt blame him if he got damn tired of doing all the work while she loitered around the clinic.
Dr. Craig said you could come back to your old job any time. Nicole was trying hard not to sound hopeful. Its not too late. The sale on thishouse hasnt even closed. The pause was calculated; the three-bedroom farmhouse on the edge of town was not, in Nicoles opinion, a suitable residence for a sophisticated teenager. She belonged back in the oversize, ostentatious, French-provincial style home theyd left behind in Bellevue, an increasingly ritzy community across Lake Washington from Seattle. Teresa was trying very hard to be patient. Fifteen was a tough age at which to have to move, but Nicole would adjust.
Assuming, Teresa thought ruefully, that her mother didnt end up tucking her tail between her legs and running.
Actually, I signed the papers today. Its all ours. Give up, kiddo, she said lightly, then groaned when the dogs leapt to their feet and raced, barking, to the front door. A second later the doorbell rang. Are either of you expecting a friend?
Friend? Nicole struck an astonished pose. Who has a friend?
Nonetheless, she trailed her mother to the door. Presumably even some hick neighbor would be a diversion in this outpost of civilization.
Quiet! Teresa snapped at the dogs. Golda and Serena quit barking and looked sheepish. She opened the door and gaped. If the man on her porch was a hick, might she never find civilization again.
He actually wore overalls and muddy work boots, as most of the farmers around here seemed to, but this guy was built. Muscles, shoulders wide enough to shelter a woman from a cold wind, long legs He had to be at least six foot two. His straight dark hair looked silky, his lean face was tanned, his wide mouth set in the kind of grim line that served as a challenge to any self-respecting woman. But it was his eyes that riveted her. In that dark face, they were a vivid electric blue.
May I help you? Thank God, she didnt sound quite as dumbstruck as she felt.
He moved his shoulders, as though uncomfortably aware of what had been going through her mind. Dr. Burkett?
Yes? A client?
My sister suggested I stop by. Jess Kerrigan. She said you wanted some trees taken down.
Trees? Jess Kerrigan? Teresa snapped out of it. Jess was the nice owner of those show-quality Arabians. She had actually agreed cheerfully to let the new vet treat one of them. And the conversation with her had even been useful. During a discussion of Teresas old farmhouseJess knew the previous ownersTeresa had asked about tree-toppers. Her client had remarked that her brother was a logging contractor.
Hell give you a good price, shed announced. Ill tell him to.
Oh, you dont need
We like to welcome newcomers to White Horse.
If only the dairy farmers felt the same.
The man was still standing there on her doorstep waiting. Teresa pulled herself together. Bless you. Id forgotten to get your name or phone number from her. Why dont you come in?
He glanced down at his boots. Id better not. If you could just show me the trees
Sure. She stepped out and let the dogs slip through. Closing the door in her astonished daughters face, she smiled. Around the house.
She was conscious of him behind her in a way she couldnt ever remember being. She couldnt remember, either, the last time shed hoped so fervently that a man had noticed her, as well. Unless Oh, nohad Jess Kerrigan said anything about a sister-in-law? But of course hed be married. Any man this beautiful had to be. In fact, any man over thirty with a half-decent character was married, never mind what he looked like.
The front lawn was springy under her feet. Too springy; it was half moss, shaded by the stand of mixed cedar and hemlocks to the south of the house.
These, she said simply, standing aside. The realtor said one of them came down last year on the roof, which is why the house has a new one. I dont want to take a chance on a repeat. Besides, Id like a little more sun. The closets are mildewing.
He nodded and rubbed his chin reflectively as he stood contemplating the fifteen or so trees, tilting his head back to gaze up, then glancing around as though her yard told him something.
I thought I might leave the big cedar, Teresa said, feeling the need to fill the silence. Its pretty.
Without a word, he went to the tree. From a pocket in his overalls, he pulled a screwdriver and poked it into the trunk. Rotten. Better take it out, too.
Rotten? Oh, what a shame.
Are you thinking you might get much for these trees?
Get much? She blinked, then realized she didnt even know the mans name. When she asked, he looked surprised.
Sorry. I guess I figured Jess would have mentioned it. Joe Hughes. He held out one large hand.
It completely engulfed hers. She liked the feeling, which took her aback. Shed spent most of her life trying to overcome the handicap of her size. Now she wanted to be overwhelmed by some primitive hunk of masculinity?
There was no denying it. That was exactly what she wanted. Their clasped hands brought other visions to her mind: his head bent over hers, his body pressing hers down, his She firmly put the brakes on her imagination. He was married, she reminded herself. He must be. Besides, he hadnt demonstrated any great interest in her. Maybe his tastes ran to six-foot Nordic goddesses.
But, no. He hadnt let her hand go, and when she lifted her gaze to his, it was to catch a flicker of something in those eyes that sped up her pulse more than her first chance at surgery had. Were his cheeks tinged with red as he finally released her hand?
Jess always says I have no manners, he said ruefully. I guess shes right.
What do sisters know? Teresa said, grinning at him.
He lifted one dark brow. Didnt it figure he could. You have some, too?
Two. Im the middle child. Im sure thats why my psyche is so fragile.
For a moment he studied her as gravely as he had the stand of trees. Then he smiled, slow and heart-stoppingly sexy. You look fragile all right, but my mama always taught me appearances are deceiving.
Smart woman.
His eyes lingered on her face as the smile faded. She felt flushed and dizzy.
Five hundred dollars, he said.
What? She stared at him.
For your stumpage. The trees arent big enough to be worth much, but I can get them out easy enoughthe truck can back right down your driveway. Pulp millll take em. Youll be rid of the trees and have a little cash.
Thank heavens for his speech, the longest out of his mouth yet. It had given her time to realize he wasnt offering five hundred dollars for her body.
Does that include your taking the stumps out, not just grinding them down?
Yup. And burning the stumps and slash.
Youre on, she said.
That eyebrow rose again. Dont you want to get other bids?
I already have. Two. One of the guys wanted to charge me two thousand dollars. Said the trees werent worth anything. He was going to buck them into firewood length and leave them for me. Id have been stacking them for the rest of my life. The other fellow didnt do stumps. He gave me the names of a couple of places that grind them down. Im thinking of putting the vegetable garden there. How can I if the ground is full of roots?
Joe Hughes nodded. I dont think anybody would beat my price, anyway.
Your sister guaranteed you.
Sisters are good for something, he said, straight-faced.
Yours seemed like a nice woman. She let me touch her horses.
He heard the flash of bitterness, because those disconcerting eyes fixed themselves on her face again. Youre a vet.
Im a woman.
His gaze flicked downward, then back to her face. I noticed, he said in a voice that had roughened just enough to be a compliment.
Women are apparently competent to treat a five-pound cat. A thousand-pound Jersey cow is another story.
He frowned. Guess were a little backward in White Horse.
EricEric Bergstrom, that iswarned me, but he thought the farmers would get over it. Judging from my first few weeks, theyre not in any hurry to.
Well have to see what we can do about that, Joe said.
She made a face. Dont tell me youre a dairy farmer on the side.
Nope. Hardly know one end of a cow from another. But I have friends who are.
Ah. Youre going to tell them what a sweet girl I am.
He apparently didnt mind her sarcasm, because one corner of his mouth twitched. Im going to tell them which end of their cow not to be.
A cows ass. She liked it.
Might come better from you than me, she conceded. Her basically cheerful nature triumphed and she laughed. When can you take out my trees?
Next week. Say, Monday.
Monday was one of her days off. She could watch. She didnt kid herself about whator whoshed be watching.
She smiled and held out her hand. See you then.
He glanced down at her hand and seemed to deliberate for a moment before he took it. His grip sent a shiver through her. When he released her, he flexed his fingers before balling them into a fist. Unfortunately his face told her remarkably little.
Monday, he repeated, gave a brief nod and headed for his huge shiny blue pickup without a backward glance.
Teresa wandered into the house. Both kids were waiting for her.
Who, her daughter demanded, enunciating carefully, was he?
A hunk, wasnt he?
Nicoles lip curled. He was dirty!
Teresa was in just the mood to provoke a little outrage. Musingly she said, Theres something about a sweaty mana days growth of bearda little dirt under his fingernails
But, Mom! Mark stared at her as if shed gone stark-raving mad. Then how come you wont let me go to school dirty? How come I have to wash my hands before we eat? How come?
Youre not a man, stupid. His sister didnt even glance at him. Youre a boy. A little kid. A
You think youre so grown-up? Then how come the men arent all lined up outside?
There isnt anyone in this nowhere place Id want lined up! Nicole flared. And cant you tell when Mom is putting you on?
Actually, I wasnt, Teresa said calmly. Hes a very handsome man. Now, can we quit bickering? Hes also a logger who is going to take those wretched trees out for us. Monday.
Cool, Mark declared. Can I watch?
Nope. Youll be in school by then, remember? Registration tomorrow.
School! Nicole collapsed on a kitchen chair. Mom, what am I going to wear?
How about leggings and a sweater?
How about overalls and work boots? her fifteen-year-old retorted bitterly.
Seems to me a pair of sacky overalls is one of your standards, Teresa agreed. Good idea.
Please, please, please, can we go shopping?
Nope.
Why? Nicole wailed.
Because I dont want to, Teresa said reasonably. And you have a perfectly adequate wardrobe. Now, can I turn the oven on?
Why didnt you let me move in with Jayne? Nicole jumped to her feet. This place stinks! She ran from the room and a moment later Teresa heard her feet thundering up the stairs.
Shed probably spend the rest of the evening on the telephone with her friends in Bellevue. The long-distance charges would have to become an issue eventually, but for now Teresa figured they were a small price to pay. She sighed and saw Mark staring after his sister with almost as much bewilderment as his mother felt.
Like Bellevue was so great. He stuffed some string cheese in his mouth. Whats for dinner, Mom?
Thank God for one cheerful member of her family. Chicken and artichoke hearts.
Cool, he said again. He even submitted to a hug, though he didnt have a clue why she felt compelled to give it.
YOU SHOULD HAVE seen this guy. Nicole flopped back against her pillow and rolled her eyes, even though Jayne couldnt see. I swear he had size-twelve feet, and these clumps of mud were sticking to his boots, and he wore overalls. I wouldnt have been surprised if hed been chewing on a piece of straw.
Hes your neighbor? Jayne sounded properly horrified.
No, hes some kind of logger. Moms having some trees taken out.
Well, then, youll probably never see him again.
Everybody here looks like that, Nicole said gloomily. Theyre all farmers or loggers or something. I heard these two girls talking the other day, and one of them is competing to become Dairy Princess at the fair next year. Can you imagine? The crown probably has horns on it!
Nicole wasnt sure why, but she didnt tell Jayne her mother had thought the logger was a hunk. No, that wasnt true; she did know why. She was embarrassed. Her own mother, for crying out loud!
Listen, Jayne said, I gotta go. Maddy and Kelly and I are going to a film festival tonight. Theyre running a bunch of foreign films. I dont like subtitles, but Maddy says some of the guys are going, includingget thisRussell Harlan, so Im wearing that red dressyou know, that one you helped me pick outand my hair on top of my head in a scrunchy, and he cant miss me, right?
Talking to her best friend hadnt helped, Nicole thought a moment later, hanging up. Now she was more depressed. She was the one whod liked Russ Harlan, not Jayne. He had these really dark eyes and he wore an earring and he was super intense about things. Shed wanted him intense about her. She was the one he was supposed to be noticing, not Jayne.
I feel like Ive been sent to prison, she said aloud to her empty room. Her room. Yeah, right. Her bedroom had had blue plush carpet and a cushioned window seat and its own bathroom. This room had peeling wallpaper, which her mother said theyd replace, and bare wood floors. Her gilt-trimmed bedroom set looked about as out of place as Nicole felt.
They couldnt stay in this dump. They just couldnt. Things were great in Bellevue. Nicole wished shed paid more attention to all Moms talk about buying into a veterinary practice somewhere. Shed been looking for so long Nicole quit listening when Mom talked about why she liked or didnt like this town or that vet or whatever. Big mistake. She should have listened carefully. Instead, first thing she knew, her mother had gone ahead and done it. A For Sale sign appeared in their front yard, and they all drove up here one Saturday to look at houses.
The sight of White Horse had put Nicole in shock. It had a whole two streets of businesses. One pizza parlor that she could see. One! The movie theater was this run-down little place that played a single movie at a time, a month or more after itd opened in Seattle and Bellevue and even Everett. The high school was this huge ugly stucco building that must have been built fifty years ago. Mom thought it was great that you could walk anywhere in town. Great. Where were you supposed to go? The library? The bowling alley? Who bowled?
And she had to register for school tomorrow and start the next day. Mom insisted that moving during the summer was easiest, so she wouldnt be the only kid whose first day it was. Nicole had believed her then, but that was before shed seen White Horse. How many new kids were there likely to be in the high school? Two? Three? She could just see it now: heads turning as she walked into each class, the stares as she went down the hall.
Well, she didnt care what a bunch of farmers thought, anyway. What she had to do was figure out how to get her mother to change her mind and move back to Bellevue.
At first shed thought it was hopeless, but lately shed begun to wonder. The farmers around here didnt want a woman vet, which Nicole thought sucked, except for the fact that her mom was looking more discouraged every day. Her mom had figured White Horse was some kind of rural paradise; shed given Nicole and Mark all these lectures about how the move was as much for them as for her, because in a small town like this they were getting away from drugs and crime and gangs. So everything was supposed to be perfect, right?
The first glimmerings of an idea brought creases to Nicoles brow. Wait a minuteMom was catching the drift, but too slowly. Dr. Craig would hire someone to take her place at the animal hospital in Bellevue; then, even if they left White Horse, they might have to go somewhere else. What if Nicole could speed up the process? Show her mother all the crummy parts of life in this cow town? She could mount a campaign. She wouldnt want to be obvious; that would make Mom mad. No, she could be really subtle, just sort of coax Mom to really look around.
Surely that was all it would take.
By this time, Nicole was sitting bolt upright, legs crossed. Like tomorrow. She wouldnt let her mother stop at the school office. No, shed insist that someone give them a tour, show them the lab facilitiesdid this school know what a lab was?and the library. Another of the things Mom went on and on about was how important a good education was. Nicole smiled. If her mother thought they wouldnt get a good education here, they were gone.
Back to Bellevue. Yes.
JOE GLANCED at his watch. Noon. Take an hour, he called, and the two men hed brought out on this job nodded and carried their chain saws to the open back of his pickup.
They consulted briefly and then Brad Mauser said, Were going to run into town and get some burgers. Want to come?
Joes glance strayed to the kitchen window of the farmhouse, where he could see the blur of a white face and dark hair. Nah. He shrugged. I brought a sandwich.
Though he was used to the scream of chain saws and the thunder of falling trees, the silence after the men left was welcome. Autumn sunshine warm on his back, he looked around at their mornings work.
A dozen trees lay on the ground between the house and fence, lined up as neatly as pick-up sticks pulled from the pile. Most of the downed trees had already been shaved of their limbs and were ready for loading. If all went well, theyd have the other half down this afternoon. Come morning, they could get the timber out of here and clean up. Give the slash a few weeks to dry and hed come back and burn it. If he was smart, hed come back on a day when Dr. Teresa Burkett was working and therefore not home.
The jolt hed felt in his gut when she opened the door that day last week had scared him a little. She was out of his league. He was lucky to have a high-school diploma. Shed finished God knows how many years of college. He was a small-town boy with no ambition to leave his home. She was a big-city professional woman who probably thought White Horse was pretty and peaceful. It was. But, unlike him, shed be heading for Seattle every time she got bored.
He couldnt afford to acknowledge his attraction to her or the spark of interest hed seen in her dark eyes.
Sandwich, he reminded himself, before his glance strayed again to her kitchen window. He grunted and turned toward the driveway where his pickup was parked. Rounding the house, he walked right into her.
Joe reached out and grabbed her before she went tumbling. Eyes wide, she looked up at him. Im sorry! That was dumb. I wasnt watching
I dont know who was dumb, he interrupted. Im the one who almost ran you down. Reluctantly he let her go. Her shoulders felt as fragile under his hands as shed declared her psyche to be. Did you come out to see our progress?
Well, actually her tongue touched her lips I came out to invite you and your men in for lunch.
He had trouble not staring at her mouth. They went into town.
Damn, she was beautiful, tiny, with these huge brown eyes and delicate features emphasized by the severity of the French braid that confined her dark hair. But it was neither the tiny nor the beautiful that got to him; it was the defiance in her eyes, coupled with the smile that played most of the time at one corner of her mouth.
Well, then. She met his gaze boldly, though now her cheeks were touched with pink. Can I talk you into lunch?
You dont need to cook
I already did. Homemade minestrone soup and fresh-baked bread.
Im too dirty to come in.
You can take your boots off.
What could he say? A moment later he padded in stocking feet into her bathroom to wash his hands. Waiting for the water to warm up, he frowned at his image in the mirror. What the hell did she see in him? All that met his eyes were dirty denim, callused hands and a haircut that was long on function and short on style. Shed discover soon enough that his conversation could be summed up about the same way.
But, by God, at least he was clean when he returned to the kitchen. Shed set the table there: two quilted place mats, a glass jar of spiky asters and late daisies, stemmed water glasses, silverware laid out properly, with an extra fork for some unseen dessert. It was prettyand made him feel awkward. Only the sight of her black Labrador lying under the table belied the formality.
Her eyes touched his face and shied away. Youre my first guest in this house. I thought Id celebrate.
He nodded and sat down while she ladled steaming fragrant soup into his bowl and offered him slices of crusty warm bread.
Would you like a beer? she asked, and he relaxed a little. At least she wasnt pouring French wine.
No, thanks. I dont drink when Im going to operate a chain saw or heavy equipment.
Oh. No, of course not.
I havent seen a woman blush in a long time, he heard himself say.
That did it. Her cheeks were now as rosy as though a winter freeze were biting at them. But she also laughed.
I dont usually blush. I think it must be you.
Him? What was she saying? If shed been any other woman, he would have known, but her? Why him?
Im sorry if Im making you uncomfortable, he said clumsily.
He almost thought he heard her sigh. Are you married? she asked.
His heart did a peculiar heavy-footed dance in his chest. No.
Her cheeks hadnt faded one iota. Engaged oror
He helped her out. No.
Oh.
A slow smile was growing on his face. Are you going somewhere with this, maam?
Im just curious, she said with dignity.
He laid down his butter knife and said quietly, Good.
Their eyes met and held for a long quivering moment. The breath of air he sucked in seared his chest.
I know youre not married, he said. Are you divorced?
Widowed. Pain, or at least regret, twisted her mouth. Five years ago. My husband was an idiot. He made an ultra-light from a kit. He was flying it when it drifted into some electrical wires. The day was windy She snorted. But he had to go up.
You didnt approve of his hobby, I take it.
I hated it! He felt her tension. I havent forgiven him yet.
I dont blame you, Joe admitted. Ive never understood why someone would risk losing everything a woman like you for some kind of momentary thrill.
It was what he did to the kids. Her eyes appealed to him for understanding.
Tell me about them.
She did, while Joe had three bowls of soup and more slabs of bread than he wanted to count. The woman was not only beautiful, she could cook. And hed better quit thinking this way.
Mark, he heard, was almost eleven, a fifth grader whod taken the move philosophically and had already signed up for soccer.
Boys, she said, with an expressive shrug. They always seem to play in mobs and accept one more kid without question. Girls, now
Her fifteen-year-old, whom Joe had seen over Teresas shoulder last week, was another story. When he asked about her, an odd expression crossed her face, half amusement, half exasperation.
She had friendsalthough I didnt like them very much. Moving is a lot harder at her age. I just wish shed try.
With her looks, she wont have any trouble getting dates.
Thank you. Teresa flashed him a grateful smile. She is pretty, isnt she?
Looks a lot like her mother.
A shadow crossed Teresas face. I dont know if thats a blessing or a curse.
He heard a car out in the driveway and assumed his men were back, but she didnt seem to notice. Because you have trouble being taken seriously? he asked.
Uh-huh. Her faraway expression faded and she jumped to her feet. Listen to me. And I tell my kids not to whine. Will you have some apple pie, Joe?
He ran an internal check and decided he could squeeze in a slice.
While she cut it, she chattered some more. We have four cats and the two dogsyouve met them. Most vets have even more animals than that. Its an occupational hazard. I keep encountering ones that need homes. At least theyre happy here. She set two plates of pie on the table.
From our own trees, she said with satisfaction, lifting a forkful to her mouth. This is the life.
For how long? he wondered. About as long as hed interest her? Or was he misjudging her?
If he was smart, he wouldnt bother finding out. But hed never been accused of belonging in any program for the intellectually gifted, now had he? He told himself hed hurt her feelings if he didnt ask her out. Theyd made too many spoken and unspoken acknowledgments to each other for him to drop it here.
He insisted on carrying his dishes to the sink. There, he turned to face her. Any chance youd have dinner with me Friday night? he asked casually enough that she wouldnt feel pressured if he was reading her wrong.
She smiled saucily. Id say theres a chance.
You remind me of my sister, he said without thinking.
Jess?
No, the other one. Rebecca.
Looks? Or because were both mouthy?
He hesitated a little too long. Sooner or later shed meet Rebecca and discover they didnt look anything alike. Sure enough, it was the smart mouths they had in common.
Apparently unoffended, Teresa laughed. Ill look forward to meeting her. Tell me her husband is a dairy farmer.
Nope. Owns a string of rental stores.
Ive been in the one here in town. His?
Mmm.
Is there any pie your family doesnt have its finger in?
Not many, Joe admitted. My brother, Lee, owns an auto-body repair place on Third. Rebecca sells wallpaper and blinds out of Browders Flooring. Jessbut you know her. Her firm cleans the veterinary clinic, as I recall. Our father sold insurance until his heart attack a few years back.
You must have a heck of a grapevine.
He grimaced. You have no idea.
Your men are peering in the windows, she said suddenly.
He turned and waved, hoping he wasnt blushing. He could imagine how theyd razz him if they got a good look at his stocking feet and the pretty table set for two.
Six oclock? he said.
She blinked. Why does that remind me of five hundred dollars?
He stared at her. I have no idea.
Six, she agreed, and he nodded.
Thanks for lunch.
He got another one of those impish grins. Thanks for not dropping a tree on my house.
Bad for the insurance rates, he said laconically, and let the screen door slam behind him while he sat down on the porch to lace up his boots.
CHAPTER TWO
WHEN JOE HAD ASKED about Nicole, the very mention of her name had been enough to prick Teresa with exasperation, amusement, puzzlement, frustration and even reluctant admiration. Shed no doubt gotten an odd look on her face. There was a good reason for it. In the past week, Nicole had obviously changed her tactics. Teresa wasnt foolish enough to think shed given up.
For example, last Wednesday Nicole had gone along sweetly and willingly to register at the high school. When Teresa stared doubtfully up at the building and said, Gee, its kinda ugly, isnt it? Nicole didnt jump right on her mothers minor criticism and try to make something major out of it.
Instead, she gave a dainty shrug and said, It probably doesnt matter, as long as the district has spent their money where it counts.
What kid ever thought of a school district in terms of a limited budget and priorities? Not Nicole, that was for sure. Wary, Teresa trailed her up the wide stairs and in the double doors.
Sounding sanctimonious, her daughter whispered, Dont they have handicapped access?
Im sure they do, Teresa returned dryly.
The guidance counselor in the office was friendly. She agreed to put Nicole in third year French even though the class was technically full. Nicoles face fell with exaggerated disappointment as she examined the offerings.
Oh, I was really looking forward to taking song writing this year.
Maybe you should worry about bringing your algebra grade up, instead, her mother suggested.
The counselor had a twinkle in her eye. Perhaps youd like to try drama, Nicole. You look like acting might come naturally.
Only if its in the form of melodrama, Teresa muttered.
Her daughter gave her a glare. Yeah, okay, she said to the counselor. Why not? There isnt anything else.
Its too bad you missed new-student orientation, the counselor concluded brightly, but theres no reason you and your mother cant wander around the building right now. Heres a map, so you can find your classrooms
Are the rooms unlocked? Nicole sounded so earnest Teresa was immediately suspicious.
Why, yes, I think so. Youll probably find some of the teachersgetting ready for the onslaught tomorrow.
Can we look around? Nicole asked when they left the office.
Well, of course. Teresa nodded at the map and schedule Nicole carried. Whats your first class?
Umalgebra. Room 233. She peered around doubtfully. Are we on the second floor here, do you think?
They were; 233 was just down the hall. Nicole insisted on glancing in. It looked like any other classroom to Teresa, if a little old-fashioned. The ceilings were high, the woodwork dark, and a smell of floor polish was underlaid with that of chalk and the pages of new textbooks, piled on a table by the door.
The chemistry lab looked perfectly adequate to Teresa, as well; Nicole critiqued it as they wandered between high black-topped tables furnished with microscopes and glass beakers and petri dishes. Teresa, filled with nostalgia for her own high-school days, was able to tune her daughter out. Shed had a mad crush on her biology/chemistry teacher, in part because he inspired her with his own passionate interest in the unseen organisms that cause disease or well-being. It had taken her a while to realize she was more excited by cell division than she was by him.
They progressed to the library, where Nicole prowled the shelves, returning to announce, This collection is ancient! How does anybody do any research here?
Fortunately White Horse belongs to an excellent public library system, Teresa reminded her. In fact, the local branch isnt two blocks from here. You can go over there on your way home from school.
Her daughter frowned at her. Dont you think they ought to have a better school library?
Yep. Ill join the PTA and campaign for a bigger book budget.
Fat lot of good thatll do me, Nicole muttered.
Probably not, Teresa admitted, but it might achieve something before Mark gets to high school.
I suppose you think his education is more important than mine!
Teresa gave an inward sigh. You know that isnt true. But I see no reason you wont get a perfectly adequate education here. Lets face it, at this level its the teacher that counts. The teacher, and the effort you are willing to expend. She added some briskness to her voice. If you get bored, next year you can start taking some classes at the community college in Everett.
Im supposed to be happy when you pulled me out of a great high school
Rife with drugs and gangs.
and moved me here. Examining a banner decorating the wall above a bank of metal lockers, Nicole curled her lip. This one is full of Future Farmers of America. Every word was a sneer. What am I supposed to do, learn how to milk a cow?
Wouldnt hurt. I had to, Teresa said unsympathetically. Have you seen enough? Shall we go find Mark?
Rolled eyes. Yeah, Ive seen enough.
Outside they found Mark involved in an impromptu soccer game with a bunch of boys who ranged from third or fourth grade on up to middle-school age. He trotted over.
Can I stay awhile, Mom? For an hour or two?
You bet. She cuffed him lightly on the shoulder. Have fun.
Nicole turned the full battery of entreaty on her from wide brown eyes. Since we have an hour, can we go shopping, Mom? Please?
Teresa hated to shop. She didnt care about clothes, seldom bothered with makeup, couldnt remember the last time shed worn a dress. How shed given birth to a child obsessed with appearances would forever remain a mystery to her.
But this struck her as an intelligent moment to compromise. Fine. Well see what the town has to offer.
A smug smile curled her daughters pale mouth. Because shed won? Or because she figured she had a chance to show her mother how inadequate White Horse was? Self-absorbed as she was, she probably hadnt noticed that Teresa visited malls only under duress.
Teresa decided the answer was the latter when she shocked Nicole out of her socks by actually finding an outfit she liked. White Horse only had two clothing stores. One of them had beautiful, high-quality casual clothes for women. Teresa looked around happily. Ill never have to hit the mall again. Ill just come in here and snap something up.
But this is old-lady stuff!
You mean, its not teenage stuff. I am not a teenager, believe it or not. She headed for a display of cotton sweaters.
Mo-om.
She waved Nicole off. Let me try these things on.
Twenty minutes later, she paid for a pair of slim-fitting pants, a tunic-length sweater and a chunky silver necklace to wear over it.
A very sulky teenager followed her out onto the sidewalk. Where am I supposed to shop?
The Everett Mall is only forty-five minutes away.
Everett!
Bellevue Square isnt much over an hour. Surely some of those friends who used to pick you up every morning will come up here and get you once in a while.
Oh, right. Nicole flung herself into the passenger seat of the car and slumped down, her expression tight. Theyre supposed to drive for almost four hours just to see me.
Once behind the wheel, Teresa studied her daughter. She looked and sounded so unhappy Teresa reached out and stroked her hair. Sweetheart
Nicole averted her face. Oh, please. Spare me the lecture about making the best of it.
Teresa hesitated, then started the car. Maybe, determined that her children be as happy about the move as shed been, she had been insensitive to Nicoles misery. On one level, she understood it; on another, she didnt at all. She hadnt been as social a creature as her daughter was. At that age, shed been absorbed in her books and her studies and her ambition for the future. Shed had friends of course, but she didnt remember missing them all that much when she went off to college. Probably she wouldnt have missed them any more if her family had moved.
And here shed been accusing Nicole of being self-absorbed. Maybe, Teresa thought ruefully, she was the selfish one. Shed convinced herself that the kids would be better off in small-town America because this was what she wanted for herself. She still thought this was a better place to raise childrenbut maybe Nicole was already too formed by her environment to adjust. Maybe, along with the veterinary practice and the farmhouse, Teresa had bought her daughter unhappiness.
The thought was an unsettling one.
IT WAS STILL on her mind on Friday as she dressed for her date with Joe Hughes. Nicole hadnt been happy to hear that her mother was going out with the logger and that she was condemned to baby-sit her little brother. It didnt help when Teresa pointed out that Nicole would have been sitting home, anyway.
Realizing her mistake immediately, Teresa tried to amend it. You havent picked up any baby-sitting clientele yet
How can I? I dont know anybody.
Why dont I put up a notice for you at the clinic?
Nicole lifted one finger and traced a dispirited circle in the air. Wow.
Joe mentioned brothers and sisters. Maybe they have kids.
Mom. Nicole waited until her mother turned to look at her. I dont care if I baby-sit. I dont need the money. Theres nowhere to shop, remember? Nobody to shop with? Okay?
Teresa gritted her teeth at the snotty tone, but decided to let it pass. This time.
She ended up wearing the outfit shed bought in town that day with Nicole. If Joe showed up in a suit and tie, shed whisk back into the bedroom and exchange the leggings for a calf-length gauzy skirt.
As it turned out, he wore jeans and a plaid sports shirt that echoed the extraordinary blue of his eyes. His eyes took in her appearance with one swift assessing glance and returned, obviously approving, to her face.
Do you like Mexican food? I thought wed go to La Hacienda here in town.
Love it, she assured him, standing aside. Joe, Id like you to meet my kids. Nicole, Mark, come here.
He shook hands solemnly with both, didnt remark on Nicoles teenage sulkiness and agreed with Mark that soccer was a popular sport in White Horse.
One of my nieces plays select soccer, Joe said. Shes darn good. They go to tournaments all over the state.
Thatd be cool. Marks eyes were wide.
Briskly Teresa ended the preliminaries. See you, guys. I dont know what time Ill be home.
In the pickup, Joe said, I feel a little guilty leaving them behind. I could feed them, too
No! she exclaimed, then saw his surprise and amusement. She made a face. Nicoles driving me nuts, she admitted. I need a break. There was more, of course. The moment shed answered the door, shed remembered why shed wanted so badly to go out with this man. The fantasies shed indulged in this past week had not included her children.
You ought to talk to Jess. Her oldest is, uh he obviously had to calculate twelve going on thirteen. Shes been a pain in the butt lately.
Maybe I will. Tell me, how many nieces and nephews do you have?
Uh More calculations. Seven. Lee has four, Jess two and Rebecca one. Although shes expecting another.
And you all live here in town?
He offered her that heart-stopping grin. Pretty overwhelming, huh?
Had she sounded rude? She would have liked to see her own sisters and their families more often, but
My younger sister was so nosy, she said. Still is.
My mother is the nosy one. His big shoulders moved. I ignore her.
Teresa could imagine that. His rock-solid steadiness was part of what attracted her, but it wouldnt make him a flexible man. So to speak.
You dont have any kids? She hoped her question sounded casual.
Never been married. The statement so carefully held no inflection it should have stopped her from commenting. It didnt.
Youre kidding.
Joe shot her a glance. Whys that so surprising?
Because youre, ah Fumbling for words, she settled for the truth. Youre a hunk. I cant believe some woman didnt snap you up.
Like a tasty fly? he asked wryly.
Teresa couldnt resist it. She chanted, There was a young woman who swallowed a fly
And now shell die? he concluded.
Of happiness, maybe, Teresa thought, but had the sense not to say.
I guess the whole analogy is a little she grinned distasteful.
He groaned. Oh, God, a woman who likes puns.
Didnt someone say its the highest form of humor?
Are you sure it wasnt the lowest?
You should have heard us in vet school, Teresa said cheerfully. We were bad.
Question is, are you hungry?
She blinked and looked around. Heavens, they were parked in front of the restaurant. How long had they been here while she blathered?
Starved, she admitted. A day of standing around always makes me think about food.
He started to circle the truck, presumably to get the door for her; she didnt wait. If he wanted a lady, he could look elsewhere. But all he said was, Things no better at work?
Heck no. Teresa sighed. Lets talk about something else.
Over enchiladas, they did. She chattered on about her years of school; he merely shook his head when she asked if hed gone to college.
Howd you get started in logging?
Summer jobs, he said easily. By the time I got out of high school, I was already a cutterI was the one who climbed the trees to top em, or take some limbs out. Pay was too good for me to bother looking around for any other line of work. My boss encouraged me to learn to cruisethats estimating what a stand of timber is worth, so you can make a realistic bid on it. I always had a head for math. He shrugged. Got some money put away, went into business for myself. Now I keep six other men working.
Youre a family of entrepreneurs.
Who wants to work for someone else? His gaze was shrewd. Isnt that why you bought into a practice?
She paused in the midst of cutting her enchilada. I suppose so. Well, partly. Its not the money-making side of being a vet that interests me. I wanted more responsibility. In Bellevue I worked at this big clinic with half a dozen vets. It was like I just put in my timeI didnt make the overall decisions, which sometimes bothered me. For example, I thought our charges were too high. Especially for preventative medicine. I wanted us to keep neutering and vaccination costs to the very minimum. The partners smiled and told me I wasnt looking at the big picture.
Youre an idealist. The faintest of smiles lurked in his eyes.
Teresa wrinkled her nose. I suppose so. But partly I was being selfish, too. I was bored. In vet school I especially enjoyed the large-animal work, and we didnt do any of that where I worked. I was hoping for a mix.
Which you found.
In theory.
Theyll come around, he said quietly.
Damn straight they will. She frowned at him. Im going to get every one of those farmers to admit Im the best vet theyve ever had!
You show em. His smile seemed a bit rueful, and she wondered why.
Do you think a man could do a better job? She tilted her chin up in challenge. Come on. Be honest. What if you needed a mechanic to fix thatthat hundred-thousand-dollar monster you had out at my place the other day. Would you hire a woman?
Skidder. And it cost a hell of a lot more than a hundred thousand. Joe set down his fork. Yeah, Id hire a woman if I thought she was the best mechanic. You cant outmuscle a machine that size, or a horse or a cow. You need to outthink em. Ive seen Jess with those horses of hers. Shes a small woman. Those Arabs would do damn near anything for her.
A sigh escaped Teresa, leaving her deflated. Sorry. I get worked up.
Its your livelihood.
I dont like injustice.
Prejudice of any kind isnt pretty.
She almost asked what he knew about it. A handsome white malehe had it made, right? But shed be a fool to leap to that kind of easy assumption. A kid could be the odd one out for any number of reasons. A teacher friend had once told Teresa there was a leper in every class, as if the group as a whole could only bond through rejecting someone who didnt fit. Teresa had memories of some kids shed gone to school with who didnt fit. Looking back, she couldnt even remember why. Maybe they gave off the wrong pheromones or something.
Not that there was anything wrong with Joe Hughess pheromones.
Figuring shed pushed the limit on sensitive subjects, Teresa backed off over coffee. Since clients wont let me treat their animals, she said, Ive been doing most of the billing and follow-ups. Do you ever have trouble collecting debts?
His mouth curled. I just tell em Ill be back with the skidder and take their roof off in pieces. Check is usually in the mail.
She laughed. Okay. So we should get a rabid Doberman and plan to turn it loose on anyone over thirty days late?
There you go. The smiling intimacy in his eyes was enough to make her think about other even more intimate expressionsand about the approaching end to the evening.
Surely he would kiss her. She hadnt been on a date where the man didnt at least give her a peck on the lips. Although truth to tell, she hadnt been on that many dates. After Toms death, she had gone into shock. It must have been a year or more before the numbness began to wear off, letting her be mad as hell at him. And miss him.
She was embarrassed to remember her astonishment when a fellow vet asked her out to dinner and to the symphony. Shed almost blurted, Me? You want me to go with you? Why? Then a vague memory of such rituals had clicked in, and shed realized that, yes, he was a man and, yes, she was woman. Both single. Good Lord, he was interested in her!
Shed gone; why not? She knew him, if not well. It seemed an easy reintroduction to the world of dating. She wasnt all that impressed, either with that date or the scattered few that followed. She never had liked groping for conversation or realizing halfway through dinner that she didnt want that wet mouth to cover hers.
No such problem tonight. Obviously shed been celibate too long. That had to be the explanation for why she kept staring at Joes hands, big and tanned and callused, and imagining how those calluses would feel against her skin. Tom had been an airline pilot. Smooth well-kept hands. Nothing like this mans.
And that mouth, tight and controlled. He tilted it into a smile from time to time, even grinned roguishly, but somehow she never had the sense he was really relaxing. Oh, yes, shed like to see him lose control.
At this point in her speculation, of course, she realized that he was watching her with interest, one eyebrow raised, and that she must have been staring, her expression giving away God knew what. Shed never been accused of being poker-faced.
Damned if she didnt blush. Sorry. I, uh
You were thinking, he said tactfully. Then a grin twitched the corner of his mouth. Not that I wouldnt be interested in knowing what you were thinking, but to get back to your question, actually I dont have too many problems with debt collection. As you know, I get half up front, which is enough to pay the men. A lot of my work is on a larger scale than your job. I log land thats going to be developed, for example. I suspect its the smaller bills people put off paying.
I hate dunning people. Teresa made a face. But then, thats what I let myself in for when I insisted on a partnership.
In a perfect world
In a perfect world, everybody would have plenty of money to pay their bills. And my daughter would be eagerly making new friends. And the woman you take out on a first date wouldnt spend it whining.
You havent whined. Youve talked about your problems. I dont mind.
You havent talked about yours, she said.
His lean dark face went expressionless again. I guess I dont have any pressing ones at the moment.
If hed just quirked an eyebrow or smiled apologetically or done anything else, shed have believed him. As it was, she had the feeling shed just walked up against an electric fence: invisible but powerful.
The waiter presented the bill; Joe paid. Outside, the sun was sinking in the west over Puget Sound and the hazy line of the Olympic Mountains. It must be eight-thirty, but days were still long at this time of year. Teresa didnt protest when Joe used his hand on the small of her back to steer her toward his pickup. As if she didnt know where it was.
Sure you dont want to go to a movie? Joe asked.
I wish I could, she said, meaning it. But Id better not. I have to be at work awfully early tomorrow.
He nodded, and she wished she could tell if he had asked again only to be polite. The short drive to her house was mostly silent. She wondered what he was thinking, anticipated that moment when hed turn toward her, hoped her children would be tactful enough not to dash out to meet her when they heard the engine. She should have rented them a video, something engrossing. Next time
The pickup pulled into her long driveway. She needed to mow again, she noticed, with one tiny corner of her consciousness. The rest of it was occupied with agonizing. What if he didnt kiss her? Maybe hed invited her out because hed felt cornered; shed been obvious enough, coming right out and asking if he was married. Maybe he didnt like direct women.
Then they might as well forget the whole thing right now, she admitted.
The pickup slowed, stopped. No dogs; the kids must have let them in the house. He killed the engine. The front door of her house didnt fly open. He turned toward her.
Teresa took a deep breath and smiled. Thanks for dinner, Joe. I enjoyed myself.
Me, too. His voice had roughened slightly. With surprising awkwardness, he said, I dont suppose we have an awful lot in common, butmaybe we could do it again.
Was that a brush-off? Good Lord, why was she panicking? This was a first date! If it worked, it worked. If it didnt, it didnt.
Sure, she murmured.
He reached out more tentatively than she might have expected, although his hand was solid and warm on the back of her neck. His thumb traced a circle around the bump of her vertebra, which had the effect of tapping a Morse code directly into her spinal cord. This feels good. More. More.
He bent his head as though giving her time to withdraw. Fat chance. His lips were soft and dry and as warm as that big hand, gently massaging her neck. Their mouths brushed together, once, twice, before his settled more firmly on hers and nudged her lips apart. By that time, she was enthusiastically participating.
If he minded her leaning into him and nibbling at his lower lip, his groan wasnt a good way of telling her. His other hand gripped her upper arm and tugged her even closer. Somehow his mouth was hot and damp now, and his tongue had touched hers, circled it just like his thumb was circling on her nape. She felt as mindless as a teenager making out with the object of her first crush.
More. More.
Joe was the one to pull back a little and let out a shaky breath. I think, he said huskily, wed better say good-night.
Good-night?
Isnt that the appropriate way to bid someone farewell in the evening?
Consciousness was returning. She tried to straighten with dignity. I knew what you meant.
Good. The trace of amusement in his voice didnt show in the molten blue of his eyes. His hand tightened on her neck, then released her. How about a movie next week? Id suggest tomorrow night, except
When he hesitated, she finished, I might have a rebellion on my hands. Next week sounds good.
He muttered something inarticulate, gave her a quick hard kiss, then got out. She was dazed enough to wait until he came around and opened her door, offering a hand to the little lady so she could hop down from the high seat. He walked her to the door, smiled, his eyes intense, touched her cheek and left her there.
It was the first time since her husbands death shed gone out with a man she wished wasnt leaving.
CHAPTER THREE
NICOLE WAS DISCOURAGED, but she wasnt about to give up. This was her life she was talking about!
Mom didnt even listen when she tried to tell her about her day at school.
The bathrooms are gross, she said. And the girls are all ignoring me. Its like I dont even exist.
Are you sure youre not ignoring them, too? her mother asked, handing her a cookie and a glass of milk, as if she were five years old, home from a day at kindergarten.
Im not walking around grinning like some idiot, saying, Hi, Im new! if thats what you mean, Nicole said disagreeably. She bit into the cookie, which was still warm.
How about the boys?
She shrugged. Oh, some of them are coming on to me. Like Id be interested in any of them. But I guess you wouldnt understand that, would you?
Moms eyes narrowed and she held up one hand. Okay, thats it. Time for a little chat.
Little chats were lectures. Nicole wasnt going to argue during this one. She shouldnt have said that; Mom didnt date very often, even though she was still pretty, and it wasnt like she was marrying the guy. The dig had just slipped out.
Mom put her hands on her hips. A. I will not put up with any more snotty remarks. I know youre unhappy, but you dont have to make everyone else unhappy, too. B. I will have no sympathy for your unhappiness until you start making some effort to adjust to the move. Youd decided you were going to hate this place before you even saw it. Why not give it a chance?
Tears came in a rush and Nicole wailed, Because I was happy before! What was so wrong with that?
Absolutely nothing, her mother said gently. But you can be happy again. Happiness is inside you, not a place.
Nicole took a deep breath, sniffed and wiped at her tears. Jeez, Mom, you ought to write greeting cards.
Her mother gave her a mock frown. Okay, it sounds sappy, but its true, believe it or not.
Are you happy?
One of the nice things about her mother was that she really thought about questions like that before she gave an answer. It would have been easy to snap, Of course Im happy! whether she was or not. But she frowned a little and finally said, Yes, I think I am. She actually sounded surprised. This move is something Ive wanted to do for a long time. Our house in Bellevue fit your dad better than it did me. I like small towns, I like Eric, I like this house. She wrinkled her nose. I guess I like a challenge. And Ive certainly bought into one, havent I?
The screen door banged and both Nicole and her mother looked up. Mark kicked the kitchen door shut, dropped his backpack on a chair and headed straight for the fridge.
Moms face brightened. How was your day?
Nicole knew what he was going to say even before he said it.
Cool! Can I have this chocolate milk?
Sure. Still liking your teacher?
Yeah, shes okay. Hed found the cookies. Shes into astronomy. I like stuff like that.
Make some friends? Mom asked casually, as if it was that easy.
He shrugged and shoved a whole cookie into his mouth. Around it, he mumbled, I hung around with a couple of guys all day. Can I watch TV?
Yes, you may watch TV. For half an hour.
Gol, I dont have any homework or anything. He grabbed three more cookies and his chocolate milk and headed for the living room.
Nicole blew her nose. Her own brother hadnt even noticed shed been crying. How come its so easy for him? she asked.
Her mother kissed the top of her head. It felt good. Comforting. Maybe because his personality is different. Hes always been cheerful and outgoing, uncomplicated. Maybe because hes a boy, and boys accept newcomers more readily. Maybe just his age. Its harder to leave your friends when youre a teenager.
Thenwhy wouldnt you let me stay in Bellevue? I could have finished school there.
Brown eyes serious, her mother faced her. For lots of reasons. I might have considered it if youd been a senior, but you have three more years of high school. I dont think Jaynes parents were really prepared to finish raising you, and I didnt want to let them. Im already in shock at how fast you and Mark are growing up. Youll be gone before I know it. But Im not ready yet, and neither are you. Youre still a kid, and youre mine.
She hardly ever sounded that firm. Secretly Nicole didnt mind. Shed wanted to stay in Bellevue, but the idea of becoming part of her friends family had been a little scary. She hadnt wanted to lose her mother or even Mark, brat though he was. She just didnt want to move.
Now she nodded. But she wasnt going to pretend she was Mark, either. I still hate it here.
I know. Her mother gave her an odd twisted smile. But I hope, after a while, that you wont. Think about getting a horse. That might be some consolation.
Nicole had always wanted a horse more than almost anything else in the world. But she wasnt about to let her mother buy her cooperation. She shrugged sulkily. Im not a little kid anymore.
Well, then, Mom sounded as tart as a green apple, dont act like one.
Nicole stomped off to her bedroom.
LEAVING NICOLE sulking in her bedroom and Mark in front of the TV, Teresa went to town. The farmhouse needed remodeling, starting with the basics, and she might as well take advantage of the rest of her day off. She hadnt forgotten Joes sister worked at Browders Flooring, but Teresa told herself curiosity wasnt why shed chosen to start there.
A woman named Carol offered to help her, then let her browse in peace among the carpet and vinyl samples. Almost immediately she realized shed better choose kitchen and bathroom countertops before the flooring.
The back of the store was a veritable treasure trove, if you liked redoing houses. Shelf after slanted shelf held tiles in a mouth-watering selection of colors and textures. Blinds in colors equally rich covered mock windows on the wall and were topped by calico and satin and wood valances.
Teresa headed straight for a lacy pleated blind that would be perfect for her old house.
At her murmured ooh of pleasure, an amused voice from behind her said, A woman of taste, I can tell. I put that one in my own living room. When Teresa turned, the woman held out one hand. Hi, Im Rebecca Ballard.
Joes sister-with-a-big-mouth. In her mid to late thirties, she had little in common with him physically except the blue eyes. Her curly brown hair brushed her shoulders, her smile was as warm as a cup of hot chocolate, and she was just a little plumpand undeniably pregnant. Teresa liked her on sight.
Teresa Burkett, she introduced herself.
The new vet.
Yes, she said a little warily.
Jess told me about you. Jess Kerrigan. Shes my sister. She said you were dating Joe. Rebecca clapped her hand over her mouth. And I was to pretend I dont know, she said sheepishly.
Teresa grinned. He did mention the family grapevine.
More like a patch of blackberries. You know how fast they spread.
Teresas laugh felt good. Yes, we had dinner. Your brother seems nice. He took out some trees for me and gave me a good deal.
Oh, hes nice. Rebecca shook her head. A little hard to get to know, but dont let that stop you.
She wanted badly to ask why he was so guarded, but refrained. This was, after all, a complete stranger. Her struggle must have showed, though.
His sister tilted her head to one side. Id love to tell you his life history, but I have a suspicion hed be annoyed at me. She thought about it for a moment. Well, probably not annoyed. Mad as hell. Id better let him tell you in his own good time.
Youre probably right, Teresa said. What Im really here for is help picking out some tile. And window covers. And, heck, I even need a new kitchen sink. You dont happen to sell those, do you?
Nope, but I keep some catalogs on hand, so you can match colors if youre not planning to go with plain white or stainless steel. The hardware store sells Kohler and a couple of other brands. Shall I dig the catalogs out?
Teresa spent a happy couple of hours poring over the tiles, carrying them to the vinyl, discussing how best to get the hardwood floors refinished.
My daughters room first, she said. Nicoles miserably unhappy about the move. She keeps bemoaning her old bedrooms built-in vanity and window seat. Maybe I can shut her up by making her new one equally charming.
How old is she? Rebecca asked.
Fifteen.
You have my sympathy. My son, Alan, was barely sixteen when I met my current husband. Alan didnt think he liked him, and you wouldnt believe the stunts he pulled.
Oh, Id believe them, Teresa said grimly.
Rebecca tilted her head to one side again. I dont suppose your daughter is petite, dark-haired and takes French III?
Thats her.
Ah. Alans mentioned her. Rebecca heaved a wallpaper book onto the counter. He thinks shes, uh, pretty.
I dont suppose thats the word he used.
Joes sister gave her a wry look. I dont want to sully your ears with current teenage-boy terminology.
Probably no worse than chick or babe or fox. Teresa contemplated briefly. Babe and baby were always my personal pet peeves. Theyre soso
Belittling? Rebecca asked. Sort of like going through life as Becky?
Exactly! Teresa raised her eyebrows. You didnt start that way, did you?
No. Sam, my husband, asked once if I liked to be called Becky. I told him only if he wanted to be Sammy. That nipped it in the bud.
I can see why, Teresa agreed, amused.
She borrowed samples of tiles, wallpaper and vinyl, then made an appointment for Rebecca to come to the house and take measurements. Shed let Nicole pick out her own wallpaper and window coveringswithin reason.
Lugging the wallpaper books, she came in the back door to hear the phone ringing. Both the kids were upstairs. She dropped the books on the table and grabbed the receiver on the fifth ring.
Hello?
Teresa, this is Joe. Joe Hughes.
Youre the only Joe I know, she said. Hey, a poem.
He groaned. Just dont add another line, okay?
All right. I cant think of anything that rhymes, anyway. Except toe. And no. Neither of which are fraught with possibilities. Unless you want to get kinky.
Silence. Then, I wont answer that one.
Very wise. She leaned against the counter. So, uh, what can I do for you?
His voice was low and amused. Do you want to get kinky?
She chuckled. I set myself up for that one, didnt I?
Yup. She could hear his smile, which sent a flood of warmth through her. Actually, he went on, what I called for was to ask if youd like to have dinner again.
Id love to, she said promptly. If we can make it Saturday night, I could even stay out later than nine oclock. I dont work Sunday. Its Erics turn to be on call.
Saturday sounds good, Joe agreed. How about a movie, too?
As long as its not too gory.
Youre a vet. Youre used to blood and guts.
Not human blood.
Youd faint if I cut myself?
Probably, she said cheerfully. Theres a reason I didnt become an M.D.
Why dont I believe you?
I dont know. Why dont you?
He only laughed. She loved his laugh, a husky rumble that sounded just a little rusty, as if he didnt laugh often enough. Well, he lived alone, so he probably didnt. To keep their sense of humor intact, adults required children. Or maybe it worked the other way around: you required a sense of humor to stand your children.
THE WEEK SEEMED LONG without seeing Joe. It was funny, considering she hardly knew him. She watched for him in the grocery store and at stoplights. Logging trucks, a common sight in a town with two lumber mills, reminded her of him. She did see his sister, Jess, once to wave to, and Rebecca came out and took measurements. Teresa craned her neck every time she drove past the auto-body-repair place on Third. She felt like a teenage girl with her first crush. It felt like a first crush; falling in love with Tom had happened an eternity ago. The first flush of romantic feelings were unfamiliar but absurdly sweet.
The saving grace was that she was busy at work. Not doing farm calls; of necessity, Eric handled all of them. Which meant that the clients who arrived with a sick cat or an injured dog had to accept her or go to the other animal hospital in town, where, Eric had told her, the vets seemed to rotate more often than a horse threw shoes. Teresa was accepted. She brought an epileptic spaniel out of a prolonged seizure with phenobarbital, stitched up a Lab that had argued with a car, catheterized a cat with a blocked urethra and removed a fish hook from a dogs lip. Hed apparently tried to snap up the fly when the owner was practicing casting.
As she calmly handled one emergency after another, it seemed to her that the staff was warming to her. Theyd been pleasant but distant thus far: she was their employer, but that didnt mean they had to like or respect her. She began to hope that theyd decided to do both.
On Friday morning, she had to put down a puppy with parvo. She comforted the owner, thanked the technician who was disposing of the body, then walked into the office and started to cry.
Dr. Burkett? someone said uncertainly.
She snatched a tissue and looked up.
Marilyn, the younger of the two technicians on duty, stood in the doorway. Im sorry. Theres a phone call
Thats okay. Teresa gave a wavery smile. I just hate doing that. I should be colder, shouldnt I?
No. Marilyns smile trembled, too. Her own eyes, now that Teresa looked, were red.
Teresa took the call and saw another client a few minutes later. The routine marched on. But something had changed; for the first time, Marilyn and Libby, the other veterinary technician working that day, invited her to join them for lunch. It felt like a victory.
When Saturday night finally rolled around, Nicole whined only halfheartedly about having to baby-sit her little brother, who made only the obligatory objection to the words little and baby-sit. Joe knocked on the door promptly at seven, Teresa called goodbye to her kids and whisked out onto the porch.
Joes smile was the deliciously slow lazy one that muddled her insides. Cabin fever? he asked.
Kid fever. She smiled back. Actually, theyre being good. Amazingly good. I figure if I make a quick escape, it might stay that way.
Belatedly it occurred to her that, if she was imagining Joe as husband material, she ought to quit complaining about her children. After all, husband also meant stepfather. The way shed been talking, he must think her kids were hell on wheels.
She made a point over dinner of bragging about them. Which, she realized in amusement, must mean she was thinking about him as a potential husband.
Mark never seems to lift a finger, but he gets perfect grades. Hell be starting in the gifted program, which Im excited about. I know he gets bored sometimes.
Joe only nodded. His face was annoyingly expressionless. She couldnt decide whether she was boring him or whether he was only waiting for her to go on. Well, if he was boredtough. She came as a package with her kids.
Nicoles a good student, too, but what she lovesbesides boys, of courseis to dance. Ballet and jazz both.
Theres a dance school in White Horse, you know.
Is there? She set down her fork. They were eating at a waterfront restaurant on Marine View Drive in Everett. Boats at a marina just below the big windows bobbed gently on quiet shimmering swells. I hadnt checked into it yet. I ought to get her started.
Two of my nieces dance. Joe grinned ruefully. I get to see the recital every year. Thank God theyve progressed from the junior recital to the senior one. The first year, I thought the three-year-olds in their pink tutus were cute. By the second year, I was wondering why the hell their parents were paying for dance lessons when they were obviously too young even to learn how to stay in line, never mind how to pirouette.
I remember those days. Oh, boy, did she. Ragged rows of little girlsand an occasional boy whose friends hadnt yet persuaded him it was unmanly to dance. Usually thered be a couple who had some vague idea what to do, and one or two sucking their thumbs, frozen in terror. The rest would just kind of wander around.
One of my nieces was a thumb sucker. We have it captured for all time on videotape.
You sound like a fond uncle.
His big shoulders moved uneasily, as though he didnt know how to take compliments. Yeah, I guess so. Tell you the truth, Ive tried to stand in for Rebeccas first husband and Jesss ex. Neither of them was any great shakes as a parent. Alan especiallyRebeccas boyneeded a man around sometimes. Before Rebecca remarried of course. I, uh, didnt mind.
Okay, so he hadnt been bored; he liked kids. Definitely husband material. Except that he couldnt be as good as he looked. Otherwise, why wasnt he married? Teresa didnt believe in that waiting for the right woman stuff. Just like animals, humans reached an age when they were ready to mate. Occasionally that urge got sidetrackedit often happened to vet students, because they were too busy and too tired for the dating rounds. But Joe must be in his mid-thirties at least. So what had he been doing, instead of marrying?
How old are you? she asked.
He looked startled, but answered willingly enough. Thirty-six. You?
Thirty-five. And yes, before you count back, I had Nicole before I started veterinary school. I must have been nuts. Fortunately, while Tom may have had his flaws, he was a great father. We did wait to have Mark until I was done with my schooling, though.
Does Mark even remember his father?
Yes, but his memories are fading, she said with sharp regret. He was in his second day of kindergarten when I had to meet him at the bus with the news that his dad was dead. Its natural that hell forget him. I mean, all you have to do is think back. If youre like me, you can hardly remember your kindergarten days.
I remember them. Before she could begin to speculate about what his flat tone meant, he added, That must mean you just passed the anniversary of your husbands death. Does it still hit you hard?
It has before, but not so much this year. She made a face. I was so damned mad at a farmer who decided he didnt really need a vet when he saw me get out of the car, it carried me through the day.
His mouth had an odd twist. Anger is a useful emotion.
Mmm. All she had to do was remember the days after Toms death. Very.
Joe glanced at his watch. Still in the mood for a movie?
You bet. I even looked at the listings in the paper. I dont suppose you like sword and sorcery?
He lifted an eyebrow. Swordplay usually leads to some blood and gore. Dont I remember that being forbidden?
Its different from a contemporary shoot em up, she tried to explain. Less realistic. In a fantasy, the blood doesnt count.
He loomed above her as he helped her out of her chair. More of that sense of being fragile and feminine that she usually hated. I think youre splitting hairs, he said in amusement.
Swirling capes and galloping horses are romantic.
The truth comes out! All women want is romance.
She had to ask. Is there something wrong with romance?
Their eyes met, held. Her skin tingled. No, he said quietly. Theres nothing wrong with romance.
The other patrons and the hovering waitress blurred; for a heartbeat, only the two of them existed. Then she blinked, or he did, and the moment passed. He was laying some bills on the table, thanking the waitress, holding out Teresas sweater for her. Slipping her arms into it, Teresa gave her head a small shake. Had she imagined the intensity of that look?
Then Joes eyes met hers again, and she thought, No. I didnt imagine it. Why else was he so wary now?
Her dates in recent years had taken her to French restaurants and the symphony and the opera. When half an hour later she settled into the plush seat at the movie theater, her upper arm just brushing Joes, Teresa decided this was more romantic, no matter what movie was projected onto the big screen.
The lights were already dimming; she was very conscious of the man so close beside her. She felt his every breath, knew when he glanced at her, even though she pretended to watch the previews. Would he put his arm around her? She would have liked to lay her hand on his thigh. Her eyes and the nearly forgotten recesses of her memory told her it would be solid, bulky. The muscles might ripple under her touch.
She swallowed hard, disconcerted by the strength of her longing. What was wrong with her?
Joe reached out and took her hand. She jumped, and he whispered, Sorry, and started to let her go.
She grabbed his hand and held on. His went still for a surprised moment, then relaxed and returned her clasp. He exhaled what might have been a chuckle.
Then he lifted their clasped hands and laid them on his thigh. Oh God, had he read her mind? He shifted in his seat, and the muscles under the fabric of his pants bunched. Teresa sat motionless, taking in every sensation. Heaven.
It wasnt Joe in particular, she told herself in panic; it couldnt be, not so quickly. He must just represent something to hersolidity, masculinity, a calm reassuring presence. A sexy body, honesty made her add; a sensual mouth, hands that knew how to touch a woman. In other words, a man. Shed turned into that pathetic creature, a sex-starved widow whod take whatever she could get.
Well, no. Shed had other chances to take, and turned them down. This was the first time shed been tempted to grab and hold on. Literally and figuratively. So maybe it was Joe. Maybe him in particular, or because he represented whatever shed been looking for when she bought into the White Horse Animal Hospital and practice.
It might be fun to find out.
Eventually Joe let her hand go, and she made a tiny noise of disappointment she prayed he hadnt heard. But apparently hed only released her so that he could put his arm around her shoulders. Now he tugged her closer to his warmth. Of course, the arm of the theater seat dug into her rib cage, but who was noticing? The feel of his mouth against her hair was far too tantalizing.
After a while, he murmured, Ever necked in a movie theater?
She sneaked a glance around to make sure no one had sat near them. Only a few others were scattered throughout the theater. The movie had been out for weeks and was probably about ready to disappear from Everett. Nobody was nearby at all.
Not since I was young enough for a curfew.
Me, neither. Want to pretend were too young and horny to wait until we can find a deserted side road?
Pretend. Oh, sure. She could do that. Why not? she whispered, and turned her head to meet his mouth. Pure excitement shot through her. It added eagerness and urgency to their kiss from the moment his lips claimed hers.
They kept it discreet. Nobody moaned or whimpered. Joe didnt rip her clothes off or throw her down onto the sloping aisle. Not, as far as she was concerned, for lack of wanting. After the first few seconds, pretty much anything would have been fine with her. Which was, when she thought about it for a fleeting moment, alarming. What was happening to her?
Whatever it was, it felt good. His hand brushed her breast, cupped it. His teeth grazed her neck. She nipped the lobe of his ear. She tasted the skin at the base of his strong brown throat. She kneaded the muscles on his shoulders and neck. She hadnt the slightest idea what happened to the sorceress in distress up on the movie screen. She didnt care.
When the credits rolled, they rearranged their clothing to leave. Teresa was very careful not to look at anyone else, just in case theyd glanced over their shoulders and noticed the couple in back. She didnt want to face a knowing smile or disapproving frown. Blast it, she was blushing again!
Thank God, she thought suddenly, that Nicole hadnt made any friends! What if one of them had seen her mother carry on this way? Nicole would have run away from home.
Teresa wasnt eager to meet Joes eyes, either. They passed through the lobby and out into the night. A mist scented the air and glistened off the pavement and car windshields under the yellow sodium lamps. Joe unlocked the passenger door first and held it open for her. Inside, she stared straight ahead while he circled the pickup and climbed in behind the wheel. He didnt start the engine. She felt his gaze.
I dont suppose you want to find that deserted road.
I, uh, dont think thatd be such a good idea.
Are you embarrassed or mad?
She appreciated his bluntness. It made it easier to turn toward him. Embarrassed, she admitted.
I dont usually act like a randy teenager.
I didnt do any better.
I enjoyed it, he confessed.
Me, too.
Then? He waited.
Oh, heck. She fidgeted with the seat belt. I just dont want you to think
I dont.
Oh, well, since weve settled that
He must have liked her sarcasm, because he laughed. Ill give you a chaste good-night kiss. On the cheek.
Something to live for.
He laughed again, the sound less rusty than the first time shed heard it. She had some use in life.
The good-night kiss wasnt all that chaste. But this time, there wasnt any potential audience, either. Her legs felt a little shaky when Joe walked her to the front door. She didnt want him to go tonight, either, which made her wonder with renewed panic where, and how quickly, this relationship was headed. How long would hewould shebe content with kisses? Was she really ready to have an affair with a man she hadnt met three weeks ago?
And in all honesty she had to admit she didnt know him very well. They talked, they laughed, but he hadnt let her see below the surface. Maybe he had no profound secrets, but everyone had a darker side. Every time she edged too close to a truly personal issue, his face went expressionless. Even kissing her, he hadnt yet reached the edge of control. How could she make love with a man shed never seen angry, despairing, laughing helplessly? She wanted to know that he went deeper than amusement, amiable charm, lazy sensuality.
Maybe she was expecting too much after two dateswell, counting the lunch, two and a half. It wasnt as if shed done anything to goad him to anger or despair, or that she was all that funny.
But then, she shouldnt be thinking about making love with him, either. It was too soon.
Oh, how she wished it wasnt.
CHAPTER FOUR
DAMN IT, WELL JUST send you, anyway. Eric dropped his scalpel and reached for a handful of gauze sponges. He was working on a shepherd with an ear hematoma. Teresa had anesthetized the dog and now stood watching her partner. It was a pleasurein more ways than one. He worked quickly and neatly. He also looked damned good while he was doing it. Tall and rangy, he had close-cropped blond hair, a narrow intelligent face and gray-green eyes that could be as sharp as his scalpel. He didnt stir up her hormones, though, and she couldnt figure out why. In his own way, he was as sexy as Joe Hughes.
What can they say? Eric continued. Even if you were incompetent, its not as though you could do any damage on a preg check.
Except be wrong, she said. Knowing as early as possible that a breeding had taken was critical to the dairy farmersthus the monthly pregnancy checks.
He grunted and clipped off a piece of suture material. You know, weve been letting a few of the old farts keep you from doing farm calls. Truth is, plenty of the younger dairy farmers wouldnt mind a woman. Some of them have wives who are darn near equal partners. All they care is whether you can do the job.
I can do it.
Then you take the farm calls today. He nodded toward the office. Itll be a hell of a day. Ten farms, I think. Youll be shoulder deep in
She didnt need him to tell her what shed be shoulder deep in. Cowsespecially dairy cowsmade a toddler with diarrhea seem like a poor producer. I dont mind, she said.
Eric flashed her a quick grin. Have fun.
And if we make someone mad?
We can afford to lose some customers. They get damned good service from us. If they go with another veterinarian, so be it. Their loss.
Youre a prince, Teresa told him, and headed off to finish loading up the truck.
An hour later, she was driving through one of the mountain valleys, where an early snowfall already gleamed on the peaks. She found the first farm with no problem. A Dairy of Merit sign hung proudly out front. Long low red barns and green fenced pastures beyond made a postcard-pretty scene.
Teresa parked in front of the nearest barn and climbed out. She already wore rubber boots and overalls over a heavy flannel shirt. She was shrugging into the vinyl vest and reaching for a plastic sleeve to cover her arm when the farmer appeared in the barn door.
Hi, she said, holding out a hand. Eric was tied up today. Im Dr. Burkett, his new partner.
The middle-aged man in the dairymans customary costume of jeans and high rubber boots shook her hand without noticeable enthusiasm. Know dairy cows?
You bet. Shed done some reading to update her knowledge, acquired during an internship in Minnesota. After that year, shed looked forward to working in a warm clinic on animals she outweighed. But the cold stinky physical parts of the job had faded quickly from her memory, leaving the good parts: the satisfaction of helping with a difficult birth, of curing instantly a cow down with milk fever, the relationships with farmers. Shed come to miss the Jerseys and Holsteins, with their generally good natures and soft brown eyes.
This farmer jerked his head toward the open double doors. I have the first batch locked in.
Figuring hed prefer someone laconic, she only nodded and grabbed her tray of syringes, prepared with anything she might need.
They passed the milking parlor, spotlessly clean. A dozen black-and-white Holsteins were lined up, heads locked into stanchions, in a concrete holding area. Teresa breathed in the odors, which shed never found objectionable. Setting down the tray, she went straight to work.
Number 23, she said, peering at the ear tag.
The farmer nodded and referred to his clipboard. Bred September 5.
Teresa inserted her hand into the cows rectum and began cleaning it out. Green manure splashed at her feet. Eventually, concentrating, she reached in deep, feeling through the wall of the rectum for the uterus and the pea-size growth of a new calf. She smiled when she found it.
Pregnant.
The farmer nodded and made a check on his list.
Number 138, she said, moving on to the next cow. The rump shifted away and she grabbed the tail.
September 10.
Nope, she concluded at last.
They fell into a rhythm that she remembered and enjoyed; few words were exchanged, and those were to the point. Along with the pregnancy checks, she examined the cows that had recently given birth, treating a few for infections.
When she finished the first batch, the farmer released the metal stanchions and waved the animals out into a loafing area. Another man chased the next ten in. Grain lured them to thrust their heads through the locking mechanism. Teresa shook liquid manure off her arm, clad in clear plastic, and called out the first number.
When she was done, she threw away her plastic sleeve and hosed herself down. Manure sluiced off her boots and overalls.
The farmer asked if she wanted to look around, and she agreed. In a separate barn, she paused, gazing down at the calves. She scratched a snowy white soft head, and lips nuzzled her hand.
Daughter takes care of those, the farmer said.
Teresa nodded. Bottle-feeding the calves was often a womans job on a dairy farm. Typically the newborn calves were allowed to nurse for the first three to four days, for the sake of the health-giving colostrum, then bottle-raised on a milk replacer so the more valuable milk could be sold. By the time they were a month old, the calves were weaned even from that.
Do you raise your own heifers? Teresa asked.
He shook his head. We send ours at three or four months to a farm in eastern Washington to be raised. Dont have enough pasture here.
That, too, shed gathered, was typical of dairies on this side of the mountains. This farmer had a dairy herd of perhaps 160 cows, and as little as fifty or sixty acres. He wouldnt be growing his own hay, either, as a larger farm might. Yet she was impressed with the cleanliness of the barns and the condition of the herd. The pregnancy rate was high, too, a sign that everything else was going well.
The tour over, the farmer walked her out to her truck. Eric be back next month?
Her heart sank at the question. Probably, she said, although eventually wed like me to be handling half the calls.
Youre quicker at the preg checks than he is, the dairyman said unexpectedly.
A compliment? Or was he implying that shed gone so fast as to seem careless?
I always had a knack.
Either of you want to handle calls here, thats fine.
She felt like babbling gratefully. Instead, she nodded and offered him a smile with enough wattage to hint that hed given her a gift. You have a nice place. I look forward to working with you.
He nodded now; she climbed into the truck, waved and drove away. Barely out of his sight, she began caroling, Oh, what a beautiful morning!
Of course, her whole day couldnt be that easy. Three of the remaining farmers greeted her matter-of-factly. Three were wary and noncommittal. Two refused to let her do the preg checks. The last grudgingly let her into the barn only because he had two cases of milk fever and desperately needed her to wield the syringe that would have his cows leaping to their feet and strolling off to the loafing shed as though nothing had ever been wrong.
He watched them go suspiciously, as though she might somehow have tricked both the cows and him. After a moment he grunted. Since youre already here
She was tempted to try to work even faster to impress him. She curtailed the temptation. A mistake would kill her reputation for good. Instead, she worked deliberately, calling out numbers, wrestling with recalcitrant cow butts, confirming and denying pregnancy.
She was examining a pretty little Jersey when the farmer said gruffly, That one has a blocked teat. Feels like a pea in there.
Ill take a look when Im done, she said.
They herded the Jersey into a station in the milking parlor, where Teresa could stand in the center aisle, three feet below the stall level. As the cow shifted restlessly, she manipulated the long pale teat.
Let me tranquilize her, Teresa said after a moment. She chose the base of the tail for the injection and waited until the cow swayed. Then she pulled out her forceps and probed inside. It took only a moment to remove the hard whitish blob.
She showed it to the farmer. Scar tissue. Probably left over from mastitis.
He grunted. Snipped the teat, did you? I suppose wed better treat her for mastitis now.
I didnt have to cut it, Teresa said. Just keep an eye on her.
Ah. The look he gave Teresa wasnt warm, but it had thawed. Treating for mastitis meant the cows milk was unusable. Shed just saved him some bucks.
He, too, walked her out to the truck. So youre the new partner.
Thats right. She unbuckled the rubber overalls and peeled them down.
I suppose Ill be seeing you again.
Well try to accommodate preferences, she said evenly. But that may not always be possible.
He nodded, which could have meant anything from understanding to acquiescence. Teresa chose to take it as the latter. Shed done well.
Eric agreed when she got back to the hospital. Two phone calls saying they liked you, he informed her when shed tracked him down to the kennel. Their resident cat, a huge fat tortoiseshell, sat slavishly at his feet. He was petting the still-groggy shepherd, who now had one floppy ear.
She crossed her arms. And the two who wouldnt let me in their barns?
One wants to know when I can come. The other says hes changing services.
Oh, for Petes sake! She stomped across the room, then swung around violently. If theyd just give me a chance
Eric closed the cage door and rose to his feet, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. Ol Man Eide says he did only because he couldnt wait. He sounded grudging, but hes willing to concede youre okay.
Eide? That was my last call.
Yup.
And he phoned you to praise me?
I think okay is praise in his book.
Teresa pumped her fist. Yes!
Eric slapped her on the back. Youll win em over.
Already, she reflected as she unloaded the truck, it felt as if she and Eric had worked together forever. As if they were best friends. It was a good thing they didnt stir each others hormones.
HES HERE AGAIN, Nicole said into the telephone to her best friend from Bellevue. He didnt even make an excuse for stopping by this time!
He? Jayne echoed. Oh. You mean that guy. The one your mom is seeing.
If she marries him, well be stuck here forever! Nicole said hopelessly.
Hold on. My call waiting is beeping.
While Nicole sat listening to silence, she brooded. Couldnt Jayne tell how upset she was? Like some other phone call was so important.
Leaning against her bed, her door shut, she could still hear voices drifting up the stairs. Laughter. She feltshut out. Even though she knew she wasnt really. Mark was down there in the kitchen with them. But she didnt belong.
Five minutes must have passed before her friend came back on the line with a rush. That was him, she said dramatically.
Him? But Nicole knew.
Russ Harlan. He wanted to know if Im going to a party tomorrow night. As if Im going to say no.
Nicoles chest burned with envy and hurt. She struggled to say something. Cool. I hope he asks you out. Something. But she couldnt. It was a relief to hear a beep in her ear.
My call waiting, she said. Just a sec.
The voice was hesitant and male. Can I talk to Nicole?
Speaking, she said coolly.
Hi. This is Bill Nelson. Im, uh, I sit next to you in English. He waited for her to agree that she knew who he was. When she didnt, he stumbled on, I have brown hair. I play football. Im, you know, a linebacker. Wewe talked yesterday. After class.
She could hear him sweating. Bill Nelson was an okay guy, just kind of big and dumb. But she didnt care right now. Did he really think shed go out with him?
What do you want?
He swallowed, making a gulping sound. Iwell, theres this movie in town. Steven Seagal. I thoughtthat is, I hoped Would you go with me?
She felt mean suddenly. Youre joking.
Pause. His voice got a lot quieter. No.
He must be the tenth guy to hit on her since school started. Shed been nicer to the others. They were all such hicks they didnt deserve it. Hicks, like the one sitting at her kitchen table right now.
I have a boyfriend. In Bellevue. Im really not interested.
Oh. Bill cleared his throat. Okay. I, uh Sorry. I didnt know.
No big deal, she said ungraciously. See ya. She pushed the button to cut him off and bring Jayne back onto the line.
Who was that? Jayne asked.
Some guy. Nicole felt a little sick. She shouldnt have been so hateful. It wasnt Bill Nelsons fault that her best friend in the whole world had just snatched the coolest guy she knew away from her.
Are the guys all lame? Jayne sounded pitying.
Nicole gritted her teeth. Of course not. You ought to see the quarterback of the football team. Hes really fine. If I can just figure out how to meet a senior
How hard can it be in a school that small? Jayne didnt let her answer. Well, listen, I gotta go. Im supposed to help Mom with dinner. Then I need to call Kelly and Roz and tell them all about Russ.
Sure.
Wow, I wish you were here like you used to be.
Nicole strained to decide if Jayne meant it or not. Yeah, she said slowly. Me, too.
She had other friends she could have called, but theyd been sounding distant, too. It just wasnt the same, when she hadnt been there at school to see Liza tell off her boyfriend, or hear the new government teacher make an ass of himself, or watch Coach Murphy get a speeding ticket right in front of the high school. Everything was different. One-sided. They told her all the latest, and she grumbled about being stuck in this backwater town. But life hadnt changed for them.
The kitchen door slammed. Nicole lifted her head. Was he leaving? But she could hear Mark talking excitedly and a low calm counterpoint. Careful not to be seen, she went to the window. Sure enough, Mark the traitor was taking a football out onto the lawn with Joe Hughes. They started throwing it, Marks passes wobbling, Joes perfect spirals.
Like Joe was his dad or something. Didnt Mark have any discrimination?
What made her maddest was that she was jealous. He never offered to do stuff with her. Actually, she thought she made him uncomfortable. Well, that was how he made her feel. Like neither of them belonged when the other one was around.
But watching her brother and him through the window, Mark chattering, Joe not saying much but making every catch look easy, as though her little brother had a great arm, she had this flash of dj? vu. Their yard in Bellevue hadnt been very big, but she remembered looking out from her bedroom window seat because she heard her fathers voice out there and seeing him and Mark throwing a football. In her memory, it was bright blueprobably a Nerf ball. But thered been some connection between them, a closeness that had made her feel jealous for a moment, before shed heard footsteps on the stairs and her mothers voice calling her. Shed jumped off the window seat and run to her bedroom door
She shook her head, jolted out of the dream remembrance. Had she heard her mother calling? But the house was silent. And when she looked out again, standing to one side of her window, she saw that her mother sat on the back porch steps, arms wrapped around her knees, watching Mark and that guy. Why would she bother calling her, Nicole?
Nicole yanked the ugly curtains closed and threw herself facedown on her bed. She told herself she was crying because she missed her father. Sometimes it was hard even to picture him. But shed just now seen him so vividly, as though it was Dad down there right now, not that redneck logger. She remembered stuff theyd done together, like the time hed taught her ballroom dancing. Sometimes while Mom was cooking dinner, her father would put on a CD, a waltz, maybe, and bow to her. He was a really good dancer. She could almost forget he was her father. Theyd twirl and twirl and twirl, perfectly in time. She guessed that was his way of throwing a ball with her. Maybe that was why she loved to dance so much.
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