The Cowboy's Convenient Bride
DONNA ALWARD
For her daughterLaura Jessup is used to being the talk of the town. She can handle the home-wrecking rumours if it means protecting her daughter. Only gorgeous EMT Tanner Hudson seems immune to the small town gossip. The solution he proposes a marriage in name only might just be crazy enough to workTanner is thrilled when Laura accepts his platonic proposal. Maybe now he can finally get his family off his back! But as the wedding draws closer, Tanner realises hes falling for Laura. They knew they were ready for marriage,but are Tanner and Laura ready for love?
Too bad you couldnt change your name, Tanner said, half-joking.
Then your ex would be looking for Laura Jessup and not Laura someone else. Suddenly, a crazy, ridiculous, ludicrous idea flitted through his brain. How open are you to harebrained schemes?
She lifted her head, gave a soft chuckle. Why? Do you have one?
Something twisted in his gut, in an oh-my-God-are-you-really-going-to-ask way. His palms started to sweat and his breath caught. Hed said the words once before in his life, but this time it was different. This time it wasnt for love. So why was he so tied up in knots?
I just might. And youre going to be tempted to say no, but hear me out.
Her brows pulled together in a puzzled look.
Laura, he said, not quite believing what he was about to say. I think we should get married.
The Cowboys
Convenient Bride
Donna Alward
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
DONNA ALWARD is a busy wife and mother of three (two daughters and the family dog), and she believes hers is the best job in the world: a combination of stay-at-home mum and romance novelist. An avid reader since childhood, Donna has always made up her own stories. She completed her arts degree in English literature in 1994, but it wasnt until 2001 that she penned her first full-length novel and found herself hooked on writing romance. In 2006, she sold her first manuscript, and now writes warm, emotional stories for Mills & Boon.
In her new home office in Nova Scotia, Donna loves being back on the east coast of Canada after nearly twelve years in Alberta, where her career began, writing about cowboys and the West. Donnas debut romance, Hired by the Cowboy, was awarded a Booksellers Best Award in 2008 for Best Traditional Romance.
With the Atlantic Ocean only minutes from her doorstep, Donna has found a fresh take on life and promises even more great romances in the near future!
Donna loves to hear from readers. You can contact her through her website, www.donnaalward.com (http://www.donnaalward.com), or follow @DonnaAlward (http://www.twitter.com/DonnaAlward) on Twitter.
To Johanna and all the editors at Mills Boon who have come before Ive learned so much from you and have enjoyed every minute.
#editorappreciationsociety
Contents
Cover (#udb618972-78f5-5193-8a90-8ed2181968cc)
Introduction (#u731643eb-a536-5891-baa6-58393961ac17)
Title Page (#u401b1b3f-2f45-5824-b39c-d2039dbf7c32)
About the Author (#u585b712c-8296-5e08-a6db-a5f28966c826)
Dedication (#uff50ac32-2077-5677-b028-0a2ab060596f)
Chapter One (#u81f3a27d-e96c-5107-a396-2f4855288e7e)
Chapter Two (#u33a6318b-5f0e-57c7-8b4e-a25e25fa1154)
Chapter Three (#u47ef9435-6583-589c-bce1-e0d649c583fd)
Chapter Four (#u0b05d465-5c15-561f-b89c-66bfe5824bdc)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#ulink_239bda36-7822-5782-9efd-7aecd3bb8168)
Tanner Hudson was getting sick of the bar scene.
Unfortunately, the other option was hanging out at home, which was nearly as bad. Particularly when his older brother, Cole, and his girlfriend, Maddy, always sat around making googly eyes at each other.
Tanner lifted his glass and took a sip of his Coke, listening to an old George Jones song on the jukebox. He scanned the room for a friendly face. The last thing he wanted this evening was a woman. His lips curved in a wry smile. He was sure that no one would believe that for a second. He knew his reputation. Cole was the steady, reliable one. Tanner was the younger brother who worked hard and played hard and liked the ladies. He set down the Coke and scowled at it. On the surface, people were right. But deep down, well, that was another story. He was pretty darn good at keeping up appearances.
Rylan Duggan walked into the Silver Dollar, dusting a few flakes of spring snow off his hat. Tanner perked up. Rylan was a friendly face, and they had a lot in common. When Ry scanned the room, Tanner lifted his chin in a quick greeting, and Rylan grinned.
Tanner got up and met his friend at the bar. Rylan ordered a beer, and as he was waiting, Tanner put a hand on his shoulder. Hey, buddy. Am I glad to see you.
Rylan chuckled. Why? You want to try to win back the money you lost last time?
When they happened to be in the same place at the same time, Tanner and Rylan would often shoot a game or two of pool. Last time, Tanner had lost a twenty.
Sounds fine to me. Slow in here tonight.
Rylan took his beer and looked at Tanner, as if trying to puzzle him out. Kaileys off to some potluck supper and candle party or jewelry or...well, I wasnt really paying attention. I thought Id drop by for a burger. What brings you here? The Dollar isnt usually your speed.
Tanner shrugged, the dissatisfaction nagging at him again. Bored, I guess. Hell, Ry, I live in a house with my parents and big brother. He shook his head. I should get my own place or something. His own life, perhaps.
Why dont you?
They made their way over to the pool tables. Tanner was kind of embarrassed to answer the question, actually. It came down to two things: money and convenience. The convenience thing was understandable, so he went with that. Im working the place with Cole and Dad. It just makes sense to, you know, be close.
Rylan nodded. I get it. And it can get claustrophobic, too. He started setting up the balls. I lived in my RV until Kailey and I moved into Quinns old place. The last thing I wanted was to be under the same roof with Quinn and Lacey, especially when they were newlyweds.
Tanner selected a stick and chalked the end. Tell me about it. I love Maddy, I really do, but she and Cole are all in love and everything, and theyre around a lot.
I get it, bro. Rylan removed the triangle and reached for a stick, testing the feel of it in his hand. Maybe you should settle down. Could be thats your problem. Restless feet.
Tanner laughed. Right. Rylans statement hit a little too close to home, though. Truth was, Tanner was pretty sure there was more to life than this.
He lined up and broke, balls scattering over the table.
Naw, Im telling you, Rylan said. Married life is pretty good. I never wanted to settle down, either, until Kailey. Now I know what I was missin. He grinned, a little sideways smile that made Tanner roll his eyes.
Tanner missed his next shot, so it was Rys turn. As Tanner watched, he let out a dissatisfied sigh. Everywhere around him, people were in love and telling him how wonderful it was. And it wasnt that Tanner wasnt happy for his brother. He was. Maddy was a great woman, with adorable kids, and he was pretty sure wedding bells would be ringing for his brother really soon.
Tanner just wasnt sure he was built that way. Or that he was the marrying kind. He was, as his ex put it, built for fun, but not for a lifetime.
Fun he could do. Because he sure as hell wasnt interested in having his heart stomped on again. So he worked hard and blew off some steam now and again. As far as the living-at-home thing, hed been young and stupid and had spent his money as fast as hed made it. But not in the last few years. Hed saved what he would have paid on rent or a mortgage until hed built up a nice little savings. His truck wasnt new, and other than what little he spent on going out, his expenses were few.
Maybe he wasnt a keeper in the love department, but no one would ever accuse him of being broke and worthless again. Maybe he should bite the bullet and put a down payment on a place of his own.
Trouble was, it wasnt just living at home that was making him itch. It was the ranch, too, and feeling as if his whole life was laid out in front of him. No deviation. No curve balls. It was so...predictable. He didnt hate the ranch; it wasnt that at all. But he couldnt shake the feeling that there might be something more out there waiting for him.
Dude. Its your shot. You off in la-la land or what?
Tanner frowned. Sorry. Im probably not very good company tonight.
No kidding. At this rate, youre going to be down another twenty.
Mad at himself for being bad company, Tanner let out a breath and focused on sinking the next ball. He did, and two more, which made him feel as if he was a little more with the program.
They finished the game and Rylan asked if he wanted to play another, but Tanner just wasnt in the zone. Sorry, man, he said. Im out. But Ill take that twenty.
Come on. Double or nothing. Im here for another two hours until Kaileys done.
Tanner thought about it, but then he shook his head. Im bad company anyway. You should get yourself some suicide wings and a few more beers and find another willing victim.
Rylan laughed and dug in his wallet for the twenty. It seemed like each time they met, the bill just exchanged hands, back and forth. Tanner pocketed it and shrugged back into his denim jacket. Thanks for the game, Ry.
Anytime. And, Tanner? I wasnt kidding. Maybe you need to find yourself a woman. You know, to relieve all that pent-up tension. Rylan winked at him and Tanner laughed dutifully, but he was far too grouchy to be amused. Women were complicated creatures. They caused any number of troubles, had the ability to stomp on your heart and strip away your confidence. And yet they remained so damned desirable. They could make a man feel like a million dollars and as if he could conquer the world. Even if it was only for one night.
Ill see you around, Ry. Thanks for the game.
More on edge than when hed entered the Silver Dollar, Tanner crossed the parking lot to his truck and hopped in. He started the engine and turned on the wipers, letting them brush the light dusting of snow off the windshield. Flurries in April werent that uncommon, though he was more than ready to leave winter behind for good. Longer days and warm temperatures should improve his mood, right?
Hed driven a little ways down the street when he spotted a car with its hood up in the bank parking lot. The bank was closed this time of night; whoever it was must have stopped to use the ATM, and it was the only car in the lot. As he slowed, he saw someone bent under the hood. By the shape of the snug jeans, it was a woman. And as much as Tanner considered women trouble, he wouldnt drive away from someone with car trouble. He put on his signal and pulled into the lot.
She stood up as he drove into the spot next to her, and he recognized her immediately. Laura Jessup. Well, if that didnt complicate matters... Laura had a new babyand the rumor was that the father was none other than Maddys late husband. Hed seen her a handful of times since Christmas. It had been a bit awkward, considering how the families were now connected. More for her than for him, really. He liked Laura. Admired her, too. Maybe shed made mistakes, but she was handling them.
Tanner had been the volunteer EMT on duty the day she went into labor and called for an ambulance. He knew he wasnt supposed to let things get personal while on a call, but helping the single mom deliver her baby had been a different circumstance. It was a day he wouldnt ever forget.
Laura, hi. He called out to her as he hopped out of the truck. Having car trouble?
She looked relieved to see him. Hey, Tanner. I went into the bank and when I came out, my car wouldnt start.
Let me try. I can always give you a boost.
Youre welcome to try and I appreciate it. She ran a hand over her hair, which was in a perky ponytail with little orangey-red strands sticking out. My phones out of juice and the babys in the back. Sleeping, for now, thank God.
The baby. Tanner had ridden in the back of the ambulance on the way to the hospital and had been there for everything, including the final ten minutes in the emergency room when shed delivered. He normally would have turned everything over to the doctors and nurses in the department, but Laura had grabbed his hand and asked him to stay. Begged him, so she wouldnt be alone.
Hed stayed. Right through to the moment the first cries echoed through the room and Laura had started crying herself. Then hed stepped back and left the room, more affected than he should have been in his professional capacity.
That had been almost four months ago. As he passed by her to get to the drivers side of her car, he noticed that she definitely had her pre-pregnancy figure back. Well, maybe a few more curves, but they looked good on her. Real good. She looked more rested than she had the last time their paths had crossed, too. She must be adjusting to mom life. From what he heard, there wasnt a lot of sleeping going on for the first few months with a new baby.
Giving his head a shake, he slid behind the wheel and turned the key. There was a whirring noise, but it got slower and slower and nothing caught. He glanced into the back seat. The car seat was rear facing, so he couldnt see the babys facejust the edges of a white frilly hat and a pink blanket.
As quietly as he could, he got out of the car. Looks like well have to try giving you a boost, he said. And looking at your car, Id say youre probably due for a new battery.
Damn it. Laura let out a big sigh. Oh well. I guess when you drive an older vehicle you have to expect some maintenance costs.
Tanner nodded. I know. I go through the same thing with my truck. Hang on, Ill pull up closer and get my cables.
Thanks, Tanner. She smiled at him. Looks like youre coming to my rescue again.
His gaze met hers, and heat crept up his neck and into his face. He was blushing, for Gods sake. And all because hed covered for another paramedic that December day when her baby was born. It didnt get much more personal than that.
Well, that wasnt the only reason. Laura Jessup was extraordinarily beautiful. Tall, with a stunning figure, thick coppery hair, arresting blue eyes and a smile that went straight to a mans gut. The rumor was that Gavin Wallace had fathered her baby while he was still married to Maddy. Looking at Laura now, with her sweet smile and gratitude shining in her eyes, Tanner figured he could understand how Gavin had been attracted to her. Particularly since she and Gavin had been high school sweethearts. Shed be a hard woman to forget.
Of course, Maddy was now in love with Tanners brother. Which made Tanner feel as if he was somehow betraying both Maddy and Cole just by thinking about Laura this way.
He jumped into the truck and maneuvered it so it was nearly bumper to bumper with hers, and then grabbed the cables from the back and hooked up the two batteries. Okay, he said, hop in and try it.
It whirred for a few moments, then sputtered and caught, roaring to life. Relieved, Tanner disconnected the cables and threw them in the back of the truck. Laura got out as he closed her hood.
Tanner, thank you so much.
Its no big deal. Glad the boost worked. Youre probably going to need a new battery, though.
I know.
Do you have a charger at home? In case it doesnt start again?
She shook her head. No, but Ill get a new battery tomorrow. Promise.
He didnt argue. The garage would be closed now anyway. Unless she drove all the way into the city, there wasnt anywhere she could get a battery today anyway.
Ill follow you home, he said. In case its not your battery, but your alternator or something. Youll know because youll see your charge dropping.
You dont have to...
If your phones dead and youve got your daughter in the back... He frowned. Id like to make sure you get home all right. Its just flurrying now, but what if it starts snowing harder?
In April?
He snorted. Come on, it wouldnt be a Montana spring without a few random storms.
Fine, she replied. And I appreciate it, Tanner. A lot. She hesitated, then met his gaze again. Not everyone would stop and give me a hand.
It would have been less awkward had she not alluded to her persona non grata status in town. Hed often wondered why she stayed here, but figured it had to do with her grandparents. Or maybe it had been because of Gavin and now it was logistically too hard to move.
Still, she was a tough cookie for facing the community censure day in and day out. Whatever she had or hadnt done, shed always been friendly and polite to himbefore the baby and every time theyd run into each other since. Tanner tended to judge people on what he saw, rather than what he heard.
He smiled at her. Id never hear the end of it if I didnt help a neighbor in need, he said. Besides, Im sure you want to get the baby home.
Her names Rowan, she said quietly.
Rowan. There was something restful about the name that he liked. Thats pretty, he said, feeling inept at this sort of thing. How did a proclaimed bachelor make small talk about babies? He had a flash of inspiration. Shes healthy and everything? Considering her fast entrance into the world, and that he was one of the EMTs that day, it seemed a logical question.
Laura smiled again as the car idled beside them. Yes, perfectly. She likes to keep me up at night sometimes, but we just work around it.
Thats good, he replied. And you look good, Laura. Rested. Whatever youre doing is working.
Thanks. She smiled shyly. And then the silence became awkward again.
Well, you head out and Ill follow you just in case.
Sure thing. Thanks again, Tanner.
Anytime.
She got in her car and he backed away, letting her out so she could lead. The snow was coming down a little harder now, and would be slick before the night was out if the temperature kept dropping. She lived in a little house just west of town limits, and when she turned into her driveway and gave a wave in her rearview mirror, he thought, as he had that day in December, how lonely it must be out here all by herself, with the neighbors spread out. Her name wasnt even on the mailbox.
Tanner turned around and headed back toward town and home. It wasnt until he passed the Silver Dollar again that he thought of Rylan and his comment that Tanner should go out looking for a woman.
If he did, the last one he should set his eyes on was Laura Jessup. She might be sweet as apple pie and gorgeous to boot, but she came with way more complication than he was interested in pursuing.
* * *
LAURA, IS THAT YOU?
Laura hadnt even shut the door when her grandfather called out to her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then put Rowans car seat on the floor. Yes, Gramps, its me. Sorry Im late. She took off her coat and hung it in the closet, then put her boots on the mat. For a few moments, she allowed herself to bask in the lovely warmth that came from knowing Tanner had helped her. Hed smiled as if he meant itas if the rumors about her didnt matter. Just as he had the day Rowan was born, when hed held her hand and assured her he wouldnt leave.
She couldnt indulge in the sentimental feeling for long, however. Rowan was just starting to wake and shed want to be fed soon. Laura had been stuck at the bank longer than shed anticipated thanks to her dead battery, and she didnt have any supper made. She checked her watch. Gramps liked to eat at six sharp. It was just after seven.
Before Rowan tuned up and started crying, Laura hustled to the fridge and took out leftovers from last nights roast beef dinner. Gramps loved meat and potatoes, and it was a good thing because Laura wasnt the worlds greatest cook. Shed bought one of those ready-to-bake roasts, microwaved frozen vegetables and managed to boil potatoes, all without burning the house down. She checked a small plastic dish and saw there was only a little gravy left from the packet mix shed made. Maybe she could add a bit of water to it and it would be enough for Gramps.
She was happy to have him. But trying to be Martha Stewart while he was here was proving to be a bigger challenge than shed expected. She was sure hed get that pinched look on his face when she presented him with a warmed-up version of last nights meal.
Rowan was awake and grumbling, so Laura took her out of the seat and held her with one arm while using the other one to take off her little pink coat and hat. Laura ventured into the living room, where she found her grandfather in his favorite chair, watching the end of the six oclock news.
Sorry about dinner. Im getting it now. I had some car trouble.
Gramps was seventy-five and still sharp, but hed never had to cook or do for himself. With Gram in the hospital for a few weeks with a lung infection, Laura had suggested he stay with her. And she wasnt sorry. She didnt have a lot of family around, and theyd been so good to her since shed come home. But living with Gramps had its challenges all the same.
Your car all right?
I need a new battery. I got a boost in town that got me home. McNultys is closed until tomorrow.
I was hoping to go see your grandmother tomorrow. Since we missed today.
Yes, theyd missed driving into Great Falls. Truth be told, Laura was exhausted. Between being up with Rowan, caring for Gramps, and trying to make ends meet, she was stretched to the limit. Today shed asked to stay home because she was trying to work on a freelance project shed taken on. The only reason shed gone into town was because shed realized shed run out of diapers.
In the kitchen, the microwave beeped, indicating the first plate of food was ready. Ill see what I can do, she promised. Come on out to the kitchen, Gramps. Suppers on.
She went to the kitchen and swapped the heated meal for the cold one and set the timer again. Could you put some water on for tea, please? she asked. Id like to change Ro before we eat.
Gramps grunted a response, but he grabbed the kettle and started to fill it. Laura tried to be patient. Gramps had been the one to work and Gram had stayed home, raised kids and looked after her husband. Laura wasnt against that kind of existence, even though these days it was rarely practical. That had been their choice. The downside was that Charlie Jessup had never really had to do anything remotely domestic in his life, and at seventy-five he was unlikely to change. He simply didnt understand why Laura was so incompetent in the kitchen.
Once Rowan was changed, she started to fuss. Laura made sure Gramps had his meal, but it was increasingly clear that she would not have time to eat before feeding Ro. God, she was tired. She poured water into the mugs to let the tea steep. Sorry, Gramps, she said, trying to inject some brightness into her voice. Ive got to feed Ro. The teas steeping, if you dont mind taking out the bag when the timer goes.
Yeah, fine, he said. The beefs good, by the way.
She didnt realize how badly shed needed the compliment until it was given, and her eyes stung with unshed tears. Thanks, she answered, scooting out of the kitchen so he wouldnt see. She went to Rowans room. Laura slept in here, too, on one of those blow-up beds with the fold-up frame, since shed given Gramps her bedroom for the duration of his stay. She sank into the padded rocker and settled Rowan at her breast, exhaling several times to help her relax.
She loved being a mom. And these were precious, precious moments. Laura wished she could stop being so resentful. She resented having to breast-feed in here because her grandfather found it so embarrassing. She resented having to work when she was so exhausted because her maternity benefits were long gone. And while she tried to be grateful for her blessings, it was hard when she went into town and received knowing stares from so many people. They also gave Rowan curious looks, as if expecting her to resemble Gavin.
As far as anyone knew, Laura was a home wrecker. General consensus was shed been having an affair with Gavin Wallace and Rowan was his child. Theyd been high school sweethearts, said the whispers. And the moment shed come back to town, theyd started up again. And then the worst rumor of all: that hed been leaving her place the night he had the accident and was killed.
One of these days, she was going to have to leave Gibson behind. Even if she could live with the rumors and whispers, it wouldnt be fair to do that to Rowan, especially as she got older. She wished she could tell everyone the truth, but she couldnt. The only person who knew was her lawyer and Maddy WallaceGavins widow, whod promised to keep Lauras secret. She had to let it go for her own safety. For Rowans.
Gavin Wallace was not Rowans father. And if Spence ever found out that he had a child...
It would be nothing short of a nightmare.
Chapter Two (#ulink_738a51b6-04ba-5358-8ae8-ab4b7588d7b8)
Laura clicked the mouse one last time and sat back to look at the banner shed created. She frowned. Something wasnt quite right. The background was beautiful, and the graphic highlighted the clients product perfectly. It was the font, she decided. It needed to be slightly slimmer, and a deeper shade of plum.
So far, the freelance work was paying her bills, but just. Still, it would take time for word of mouth to spread. At least this way she was home with her child instead of having to commute to an office, as she had done during her six-month contract that had ended in December.
Ironically enough, she was still floundering with setting up her own site. She tried to keep her personal details very, very quiet. Plastering her name all over a site made her uncomfortable, and she knew she could decide on a company name, but people still wanted the name of the person they were dealing with. It was hard to advertise and drum up business without a website. Particularly when you were a web designer.
She adjusted the font, felt better, and saved the banner before emailing it off to the client for their thoughts. Then she checked her phone. Damn. They should have left for the hospital half an hour ago. She shut down the computer, dropped the phone into her bag and went looking for Gramps.
She found him sitting on the back deck in a plastic patio chair. It really wasnt a deck, but rather an oversize landing at the top of the back stairs. There was room for one chair and that was it. She pasted on the customary smile. Sorry I took so long. Are you ready to go?
Sure. Been ready an hour now, he said, putting his hands on his knees and pushing himself to standing.
There were times she knew he didnt mean what he said as criticism. It didnt mean she didnt take it that way.
Ten minutes later, they were on the road, and it seemed like no time at all and theyd arrived at the hospital. While he visited Gram, Laura sat in the family waiting room and nursed Rowan. Then she popped into Grams room to say hello, and left again to get a couple of sandwiches from the cafeteria, as well as some cranberry juice for Gram. The nurses were very good about letting Laura use the kitchen on the floor to make Grams favorite cold remedycranberry juice mixed half and half with boiling water. She always said it soothed her throat and cough and drove out the chill. Laura made a cup for Gram and a cup for herself, as shed always liked it, too, and a cup of tea for Gramps.
By two oclock, Laura reminded Gramps that they had to get back to Gibson, as she had an appointment at the lawyers office. So far Rowan had been contented, so Laura dropped Gramps at the diner and said shed be back in half an hour to pick him up. The appointment at the lawyers office was brief. Shed wanted to check on Spences status. The idea of him being eligible for parole after what hed done sent a cold chill down her spine and kept her up at night. With Spence having served nearly a year of his three-year sentence, Laura wanted to make sure she kept tabs on the situation.
Like when she really needed to start worrying. She could breathe easy for another few months anyway.
She found Gramps sitting in a booth with a cup of tea and a piece of half-eaten cherry pie in front of him. Shed taken Rowan out of the car seat and held her in her arms, and when she slid into the booth, she settled the baby on her knee, curled into the curve of her arm.
That didnt take long, he commented. Im only half-through my pie.
Take your time, she said, knowing Gramps was tired from being out all day. She was, too, but rushing him wouldnt benefit either of them. Besides, the food here was better than what he got at home. Unfortunately.
He sipped his tea and took another bite of pie, and a waitress came over to see if Laura wanted anything.
What can I get you? she asked.
A hot bath, a glass of wine, and an hour of quiet, Laura thought, but she merely smiled. A glass of chocolate milk, I guess, she replied. Shed forsaken caffeine months ago, with the exception of her evening cup of tea. Since shed never been fond of plain white milk, chocolate was her way of getting her calcium.
The waitress returned quickly with her milk and Laura took a long drink, enjoying the cool, sweet taste. She licked the froth from her top lip and settled more comfortably into the vinyl seat of the booth.
Everything okay at the lawyers? Gramps asked, looking up at her over his mug.
Yes. Fine.
Dont know why you need a lawyer anyway, he grumbled. Theyre expensive.
Didnt she know it. And Gavin had helped her for free, because they were friends. His colleague was giving her a break because of Gavin, but it wasnt free.
Its complicated, she replied, drinking again. She put down her glass. Nothing for you to worry about, though. Promise. She smiled. Gramps was gruff, but she knew he worried and cared. He wasnt a fan of her raising her baby alone, but hed never said a word about Gavin, or the fact that hed been married. It was as though theyd agreed to not mention it.
He put down his fork. Laura, are you okay? Really? Im old and Im not good for much, but if you need help...
She melted a bit, her frustration of the last week ebbing away. She touched his fingers with her free hand. Im fine, Gramps. Ive made some mistakes, but Im working on getting my life back on track.
You know how I feel about some of that, he murmured, keeping his voice low. But youre a Jessup. And youre made of strong stuff. You can do whatever you set your mind to.
Except protect myself, she thought, hating the idea that she could feel so helpless, hating even more that she was scared. Still, the praise made her feel stronger. Thank you, Gramps.
Humph, he said, back to his gruff self. But she smiled a little to herself.
Laura didnt notice anyone approaching the table until she heard the voice that sent shivers of pleasure rippling up her spine. So, did you end up replacing the battery?
She swallowed and looked up to find Tanner standing beside the booth, an easy grin on his face.
It would be easier if he werent so darn handsome. His dark hair was slightly mussed, his blue eyes twinkled down at her and his plaid shirt was unbuttoned at the top, revealing a small V of tanned skin.
She hoped she wasnt blushing. I did, yes. The guy from McNultys was kind enough to bring one out and put it in for me.
Tanner frowned. I would have done that, and saved you the labor cost.
Thanks, but it wasnt that bad. She glanced over at her grandfather. Gramps, have you met Tanner Hudson? Tanner, this is my grandfather, Charlie.
Tanner held out his hand. Sir, he said, giving a nod as they shook hands.
Tanners the one who gave me a boost the other day, Laura explained.
Have a seat, Gramps said. Lauras always so bent on doing everything herself, but Im glad there are some people who are willing to lend a handeven when she wont admit she needs one.
Laura gaped at him. Hadnt he just said she could do anything? Of course. He still prescribed to the old school where certain things were mans work. Auto repair clearly being one of them.
Tanner slid into the booth beside her, and she quickly scooched over so they werent pressed together. To her annoyance, he gave Gramps his winningest smile. Happy to do it. Though from what Ive seen, Lauras pretty capable of handling herself.
Gramps gave Tanner a long look, then a quick nod and calmly cut another bite of pie with the edge of his fork.
The waitress came over with a coffee and doughnut for Tanner, and he thanked her with a wink and a smile.
Youre not working out at the ranch today? Laura asked.
I had to make a run in to the hardware store. I was going to grab a coffee to go, but I saw you and thought Id see how you made out after the other day. He shrugged. At least the weathers improved. Much more spring-like.
He looked over at her half-empty glass. Chocolate milk?
She grinned. What can I say? Im a kid at heart.
Speaking of kids... He peered around her shoulder at Rowan. Wow. Shes cute.
Thanks. Laura looked down at Rowan and a familiar wave of love washed over her. Shes been an angel all day, so Im waiting for things to go south really soon. Weve been to Great Falls to the hospital to visit my grandmother, and then went to a couple of appointments. Babies have a way of letting you know when theyve had enough.
I bet. Your grandmotheris she okay?
Shes had a lung infection, but we hope shell be out of the hospital on the weekend. Gramps been staying with us in the meantime.
Lauras been taking good care of me, Gramps said, pushing his pie plate away. He patted his belly. That was a good piece of pie. Maybe I should have another.
Laura felt a flush infuse her cheeks. Youre just saying that because I can hardly boil water. I wouldnt let you starve, Gramps.
He grinned and picked up his tea. Honey, I know that. You got your looks from your grandmother. But you didnt get her cooking skills. Thats just a fact.
He looked so amiable that Laura couldnt be madthough she was embarrassed. Particularly when Tanner chuckled beside her.
Rowan wriggled in her arms and Laura looked down. We should probably get going soon, she said. Dragging her from pillar to post today means she hasnt had her regular sleep or feeding schedule. This could get ugly. She aimed a stern look at Charlie. She has the Jessup temper.
Tanner laughed and Gramps sent her a look of approval. But then Tanner peeked over at Rowan, and Laura suddenly felt uncomfortable. Sure, there was a lot of Jessup in Ro, but Tanner was probably looking for bits of Gavin. He was nice to her, but he probably thought the same as everyone else. Plus, he was connected to Maddy through Cole. And while Maddy and Cole knew the truth, no one else did. Besides her lawyer, they were the only people shed trusted in all of Gibson, and that was only because her conscience couldnt take it anymore.
Tanners face remained relaxed and pleasant, though, and she gave Ro a little bounce on her knee. The baby giggled and then shoved a fist into her mouth, sucking on her fingers. A sure sign she was getting hungry.
Are you almost ready, Gramps? Laura tried to urge him along. But Gramps had either forgotten the urgency of small babies or was determined not to be rushed, because he shifted in his seat and lifted his teacup. Just a bit of tea left. I wont be long.
The noises from Ro chewing on her fist got louder and Laura smiled weakly at Tanner as he bit into his doughnut. A familiar tingling started and Laura realized it had been nearly four hours since Ros last feeding. No, no, no, she chanted in her head. But Rowan started to squirm and cry, nuzzling her face towards Lauras shoulder. And when Laura looked down, she was sure her face burned with instant embarrassment.
Damn, she whispered, staring at twin splotches on her shirt. Shed worn a light blue cotton blouse, and there was no mistaking the wet spots. Sometimes breast-feeding was not completely convenient.
It would be the better part of twenty minutes by the time they paid the bill, she got everyone in the car and they drove home. And if she were alone, shed discreetly slide to the corner of the booth, drape a flannel receiving blanket over her shoulder and do what was necessary. But Gramps wasnt comfortable with it at home, and she was certain hed make a big fuss about it in public.
Whats the... Oh. Tanners voice was soft beside her. Rowan started crying in earnest and people started looking over. To her frustration, Gramps poured more tea into his cup from the small silver pot.
I can go. If you...that is...
She shook her head and motioned toward Gramps. Thankfully, Tanner understood.
I see. Give me two minutes.
He scooted out of the booth and went to the counter. A moment later, he returned with a young, pretty waitress behind him.
Tanner says you could use some privacy for a few minutes. The words were said kindly. Come with me.
Youre sure? I dont want to inconvenience you...
Dont be silly. She raised an eyebrow and her gaze dropped to Lauras shirt. The sooner the better from the looks of it.
Laura was pretty practical when it came to nursing, but she had to admit that this moment was pretty humiliating. She grabbed the diaper bag and slid out of the booth. Thanks, she whispered to Tanner as she passed by him, and he flashed her a smile.
The waitress led her to an office in the back. This is Joes office, she said. But hes not in today, so you wont be interrupted.
Thank you so much, Miss...
Shoot. Just call me Chelsea. She grinned. My big sister has two kids and believe me, I understand.
She closed the door behind her with a quiet click. Rowan was frantically rubbing against Lauras shirt, and with a sigh, Laura sat on a saggy sofa and got Ro settled.
Several minutes later, she tucked everything back into place. Ro had eaten, burped, and was now sleeping peacefully in the crook of Lauras arm. But Laura was anything but peaceful. Her grandfather was still out in the diner, probably irritated beyond belief at being kept waiting. She really should pack up and get him home.
She was putting the flannel cloth back into the diaper bag when a soft tap sounded on the door. Come in, she called quietly. She expected it to be Chelsea, so she was surprised to see Tanner poke his head inside.
Is everything okay in here?
She laughed. Im put back together, if thats what youre asking.
He stepped inside, and she laughed again at the relief that relaxed his facial muscles. Chelsea mentioned that... His cheeks colored. Well. That you might want a different shirt. I went to the department store and bought you something, he said, and she thought he looked rather bashful admitting it. He handed her a small bag.
She reached inside and took out a black T-shirt in what appeared to be the right size. Chelsea said that?
He nodded. Yeah. Shes a nice girl. She...well, never mind. She said a medium would probably fit you.
You bought me a shirt?
Well, your other one was... You know.
Stained with breast milk?
He blushed deeper.
She sighed. Tanner, that was really sweet of you. Im sorry if I was too blunt. I honestly think that once you have a baby you kind of give up on maintaining any sense of dignity. Stuff just happens. The wonder of being a mom was sometimes tempered with a direct hit to a womans vanity.
He smiled. Hell, Laura, I was in the ambulance that day. I think that ship sailed a long time ago.
Yes, he had been. Hed held her hand, breathed with her, checked on her progress. Just as any ambulance attendant would have. Except...she vaguely remembered pleading with him to stay with her. Shed felt so alone, so afraid, so...adrift. Without an anchor to keep her steady and hold her fast. And hed stayed, she remembered. Hed held her hand and encouraged her to push and told her how great she was doing.
Then hed disappeared. Hed done his job and gone above and beyond, but that was all it was. His job.
Buying her a T-shirt was not his job. And neither was boosting her car or finding her a private spot to nurse her baby. Tanner wasnt just a good EMT. He was a good man, too.
This really was very thoughtful. She met his gaze. And I should get out there. My grandfather is probably having a canary by now.
I actually looked after that, too. He was grumbling, so I told him to head home. I told him Id bring you along when you were ready. He wiggled his eyebrows. I hope he didnt lie when he said he still has his license.
He does. But he only drives in Gibson. Ever since his accident last year, he doesnt like going on the highways or driving in the city.
Which is why you went to the hospital today.
Exactly. Hes aged a lot since the accident. And he relies so much on my gram that I thought it would just be easier having him at my place for a few weeks.
He must have sensed some hesitation in her voice, because he raised his eyebrows. And has it been? Easier?
She sighed. I wish. I feel pretty inadequate most of the time. Suzie Homemaker Im not.
Charlies old school. Hell, youre supporting yourself and your kid. You cant do everything.
She knew he meant the words to be encouraging, but instead she ended up feeling a familiar dissatisfaction. This wasnt what shed wanted her life to look like. How had she gotten so off track?
Anyway, if youre ready to go, Ill drive the two of you home.
Laura swallowed. Gramps was probably put out by the whole thing and now shed ended up inconveniencing Tanner, too, who probably had things to do. Ill be right out. I just need to change. She pushed herself up off the couch, but the busted springs meant it took her three tries. By the end of it, she was trying not to laugh, because Rowan was peaceful in her arms and Laura didnt want to disturb her.
Here, he said gently, and reached for Rowan. Ill hold her. And Ill turn around.
As carefully as if he were holding glass, he took Rowan and tucked her into his arms. She looked so small there. Small and safe.
Just as hed promised, he turned his back to her. Laura quickly unbuttoned her blouse, took the tag off the T-shirt and pulled it over her head. It was a little too big, but she was okay with that. The soft cotton was comfortable, and the black wouldnt show any lingering moisture. She wondered if hed thought of that when he picked it out. She doubted it. Guys werent generally that astute.
But then, Tanner was different. Shed known that for a long time.
Thanks, she said, putting a hand on his shoulder. The shirts great. Wheres the receipt? Id like to pay you back.
Tanner turned back around, his eyebrows puckered in the middle. Pay me back? Dont be ridiculous. Its just a cheap shirt. An emergency shirt. Again the impish gleam lit his eyes. Come on. My trucks out front.
Can I ask one more favor? It was late in the afternoon. Laura had planned to be home earlier, and was tired from the running around. She really needed to put in a couple of hours on the computer tonight. Could we make a quick stop at the grocery store? I think Ill grab one of those rotisserie chickens from the deli section.
He chuckled, and she sent him a dark look. Not one word about my cooking.
She took Rowan from him and then swung the diaper bag over her shoulder.
Youre really good to him, you know. He loves you a lot. I could tell.
Laura knew it was true, and sometimes it was the only thing that kept her in Gibson. He and Gram have been very good to me, too. She wanted to say how grateful she was that theyd never thrown the rumors in her face, but she didnt want to open that can of worms with Tanner. Its the least I can do. Thats not to say I wont try to save my sanity where I can. She grinned. And save him from an ulcer.
He laughed again and she realized she liked the sound of it. It was happy and carefree, two things she hadnt been in quite some time.
The grocery store it is.
They were walking through the diner when she realized the car seat had been in her car. Tanner? I forgot her car seat. Oh no...
Tanner walked ahead and opened the door. I put it in my truck. I dont have a clue how to fasten it in, but its there.
Relief rushed through her. Gramps fussed and went on about how in his day people simply carried babies on their laps, but she would never do that with Rowan. She needed to be buckled in securely. Safe. Protected.
Laura swallowed against a lump in her throat. Everything she did these days was for Rowans protection.
At the grocery store, Tanner offered to stay in the car with Rowan while she ran inside. Her daughter was sound asleep, so she left her in the backseat, knowing shed be perfectly safe with Tanner. In less than ten minutes, she was back in the truck and they were on their way to her place, the interior of his vehicle smelling like roasted chicken.
She and Tanner chatted about the ranch a bit, and she mentioned her graphic design work, which led to explaining what shed been doing since leaving Gibson after high school. She left a lot of blank spaces, but then, so did he. He didnt mention Cole or Maddy at all, and she knew why.
She wished she could tell him the truth about Rowans father. But the more people who knew, the more likely it was to get around, and right now that secret was her biggest form of protection.
He carried the grocery bags to the door while she managed Rowan and the diaper bag. When they walked in, Laura discovered her grandfather emptying the dishwasher. She nearly fell down from the shock.
Gramps! she said, slipping off her shoes. You dont have to do that.
He gave his customary harrumph. Dont know why everyone thinks Im helpless. I can put some dishes away now and then.
I guess Ill get a start on supper, then. Youll be relieved to know I stopped and picked up a chicken.
Are you staying, young man?
Lauras mouth dropped open. Had Gramps just asked Tanner for supper? Oh, she hoped he wasnt getting any ideas. Tanner Hudson was the last person she should get involved with. Talk about complicated!
Besides, she was hardly looking for romance. She had her hands full right now.
Thank you, but I should probably get home.
Laura was surprised to feel disappointment at his refusal, but the last thing she wanted was for him to feel obligated. Youre welcome to, Tanner, she offered weakly, knowing Gramps would expect it. Its the least I can do for all your help. But if you need to get back to the ranch, I understand.
He rubbed his chin. I dont need to hurry back. I guess it would be all right.
Oh Lord. Oh Lord, oh Lord. She was actually nervous. Tanner Hudson was going to eat supper at her house. With her grandfather. After seeing her in a mess this afternoon. What on earth? He didnt seem to care a bit about her reputation, either. And there was no way he could have remained oblivious. He had to know about the gossip. About what kind of woman she was... And that had nothing to do with Gavin Wallace and everything to do with her decisions before coming home to Gibson.
Gramps patted Tanner on the shoulder. Come on in the living room. Its been a while since Ive had another man to talk to.
Tanner looked over at her. Do you need anything? he asked. Im not a complete idiot in the kitchen.
She shook her head. Thanks, but no. You go. Entertain each other. She gave a self-deprecating grin, glanced down at the chicken and then back at him. Its not like itll take long.
He flashed her a smile that felt very intimate, as if they shared a joke. She liked, too, that hed offered to help, and wondered if hed said something to Gramps earlier that had prompted the dishwasher emptying, because that was an unprecedented event.
As the men sat in the living room and talked about community goings-on, Laura buckled Rowan into her bouncy seat and began putting together a green salad. She then took out a pretty bowl and transferred potato salad into it rather than simply putting the tub on the table, and placed a paper napkin in a little basket and filled it with buns from the market bakery.
Maybe she hadnt cooked it, but she could at least make the meal look a bit homey.
Just before everything was ready, the baby woke and Laura made a quick trip to the nursery for a change and tidy-up, and then, by some miracle, it all came together.
The table was set, Rowan was playing with the activity bar on her bouncy chair and Laura called the men to supper as she put the carved chicken on the table, along with the salad bowls and butter for the buns.
There was chatter, and the clinking of silverware on plates, and the odd laugh. A lump formed in Lauras throat as she realized this was the nicest meal shed spent in her house. It had been so long since shed experienced a relaxed, pleasant atmosphere that shed nearly forgotten what it was like.
But as Tanner laughed at a story Gramps told, it all came rushing back to her. And it made her both a little bit happy and a little bit sad. She had been lonely for so long.
And that was why, despite the grumbling and inconvenience, shed offered Gramps a place to stay, she realized. She was so tired of being alone.
After dinner, Tanner insisted on helping with the dishes, which didnt take long at all. When they were done, he said goodbye to Gramps and then pulled on his boots and prepared to go.
Supper was good, he said, standing in the doorway. Thanks for having me.
Youre welcome. And thanks for being so kind to Gramps. I think hes been a little lost the last few days. It was good for him to have someone besides me to talk to.
Hes a good old dude, Tanner said. Hes pretty proud of you, you know. Says you have gumption.
She blinked back sudden tears. Hes not crazy about me being unmarried with a baby.
Being a single mom is hard. He knows it. He just wishes you didnt have to do it alone.
He wishes Id been smarter.
Tanner studied her for a minute. Maybe. But I think thats you putting words in his mouth.
He was right. She was pretty hard on herself, and she knew it. And yet Tanner didnt seem to judge. She wondered why.
Doesnt it bother you? she asked bluntly. What they say about me?
His eyes darkened. You mean about Rowans father?
She nodded, nerves jumping around in her stomach. He was the first person shed broached the topic with, and she realized that for whatever reason, she trusted him. Oh, maybe not with the truth, but hed already proved he wasnt about to shun her because of the grapevine.
Its none of my business, he stated, not unkindly. And believe me, Laura, after all these years, I know what its like to have to live with mistakes. And live them down.
You? Granted, shed heard he was a bit of a player, but if that was the worst anyone said about him...
Right. You were gone for a while, so maybe you dont know. I was married once. For three whole days. In Vegas. The entire town knows about it. My best man at the time wasnt discreet with the details.
She blinked. You were married for three days?
Yeah. Until we both sobered up and she came to her senses. You dont have the corner on mistakes, Laura, and I certainly have no right to judge anyone. So no, what they say doesnt bother me.
He leaned forward and placed a chaste, but soft, kiss on her cheek. Take care and thanks again for dinner.
Youre welcome. And thank you for everything today. She smiled. Youre starting to become my knight in shining armor.
He laughed. Oh, hardly. Just being neighborly. Anyone else would have done the same. He raised his hand in farewell and stepped outside. See you around.
He fired up his truck and drove away, leaving Laura back in reality again. But it was a softer kind of reality, because for the first time in a long while, it felt as if someone might be in her corner.
And she truly hadnt realized how lonely shed become until someone walked in and brought sunshine with him. Tanner had said that anyone would have done the same, but she knew that was a lie. Shed been in that parking lot for a good half hour with the hood up before he came along to help. Others had passed right on by.
It was just too bad that Tanner Hudson was the last person she should get involved with. Even if Maddy was gracious enough to understand, she knew the town of Gibson never would.
Chapter Three (#ulink_c44a8297-b1d8-5a9e-8262-2aedfb34e116)
Tanner threw a bale of hay down the chute and followed it with two more. The physical exertion today was his form of therapy. If he had to hear one more time about how much his parents loved Maddy and how happy they were that Cole was dating her and how adorable her twin boys were, he was going to lose it.
He got that the whole family was happy that Cole had fallen in love. Hell, he expected thered be an engagement announcement any day now, and he was truly happy for his brother.
But this whole love-fest thing just made Tanner feel more like a loser every day. The last thing his ex Brittany had said to him was that hed be a joke for a husband. And seeing Cole and Maddy and his mom and dad so thrilled only seemed to highlight the fact all the more.
Tanner was good for a good time. Girls loved him for that. And that was it. The problem was, it wasnt enough for him. Not anymore.
His bad mood persisted through the chores, over breakfast, and late into the morning. He decided to saddle up Bingo and go for a ride, using the excuse of checking on the calves in the east pasture. Maybe the fresh air and open space would help put him in a better frame of mind.
He loved the scent of the young grass, the spears yellow-y green in their newness and the buds that were getting plump on the trees, nearly ready to leaf. Spring was a relief after a particularly harsh winter, and since that last snowfall earlier in the month, the weather had turned mild. Even if they did get a late season storm, there was a sense that the weather had truly turned a corner and there were warmer, greener days ahead. Spring was a time of year Tanner usually loved.
But this year he was filled with a nagging dissatisfaction. As he walked Bingo along the fence line, he sighed. It was only partly to do with Cole. He found himself thinking about Laura quite often, too.
Maddy had seemed to mellow out where Laura was concerned. Maybe that was because she was happy with Cole. But Tanner had noticed the sideways looks aimed in Lauras direction the other day at the diner. If he noticed, he was certain she did, too. People looked at her and saw a woman whod had an affair with a married man. But where was the blame on Gavin? Just because he was dead, it was as if he was blameless.
Sometimes people put their faith and emotions in the wrong people. He knew that as well as anyone. They shouldnt have to pay for it their entire lives.
Dinner at Lauras house a few weeks ago had made one thing clear to him. Laura Jessup was in sad need of a friend, and no one would go near her. It was as if they were afraid theyd catch something. He hadnt seen such a lonely person in a very long time. Talking to her grandfather, Charlie, had enlightened him a fair bit. She never had friends over. Rarely went out anywhere other than errands. No wonder shed clung to his hand the day Rowan was born. How afraid she must have been, facing that alone. When hed given her that cheap T-shirt at the diner, she looked so surprised, so touched, that he wondered how long it had been since anyone had done anything remotely thoughtful for her. Her grandfather had also been concerned, but reserved. It wasnt hard to see he disapproved of the situation, even though he loved her.
Tanner turned Bingo around and returned to the ranch a little less on edge, but still unsettled about the whole situation. It wasnt just Laura. His life seemed stuck in place. What was he going to do, live with his parents forever? Satisfy himself with short-term hookups now and again? That whole scene was getting old. Maybe having a place of his own would be a start.
When Tanner returned to the house, he found Maddy there, helping his mom paint the back deck while the boys napped. Cole and Dad had driven down to Butte to look at some stock. Tanner was at loose ends, so once he grabbed a sandwich for lunch, he hopped in his truck and drove into town. And through town, and west. There was no sense kidding himself. He was going to see Laura. Just to see how she was making out. If there was anything she needed.
He pulled into the driveway and noticed things hed missed the last time he was here. Like how the paint was peeling on the railing of the front step. A piece of soffit was missing from the roof overhang, and one corner of her eaves trough needed to be repaired, too. Nothing major, but little things that needed fixing that she probably couldnt do herself. Or could, but because of her situation, didnt have the time or money.
She came outside the moment he got out of the truck. He lifted a hand. Hi, he greeted, and a lot of the restlessness hed felt all day dissipated at the sight of her. She wore a pair of faded jeans and a cute white top, and Rowan was on her hip, dressed in a pink flowery outfit. They made a sweet picture.
Hi, yourself. This is a surprise.
Yeah. Im not here at a bad time, am I?
She shook her head. Come on in. Rowans up as you can see, so Im spending some time with her and Ill go back to work when shes napping again.
Work? What are you doing?
He climbed the steps and she opened the door, leading the way in. Im working on a web design for a new client. I only had a six-month contract at the last place, and with Ro being so little, day cares not an option. This gives me some freedom and some income.
Thats smart. He followed her inside. Just like the other night, the place was spotless. His respect for her grew. She might not have much, but she took pride in what she did have. What about Charlie?
She laughed. Oh, hes been back home for about a week. And thrilled about it. Grams still taking things slowly, but at least hes eating better. Do you want some coffee or tea? I have both.
Naw, Im good.
Then what are you doing here, Tanner?
He floundered for a moment, and then decided he might as well tell her the truth. I guess I found myself thinking about you a lot, and wondering how you are. Wondered if you, uh, needed anything.
Her gaze turned sharp. You feel sorry for me, is that it?
No!
She sat at the kitchen table, so it only made sense for him to do the same. Not sorry, per se, he continued. Well, crap. I have no idea how to say this in a tactful way. Im a guy. And this is kind of like navigating a minefield.
She put Rowan on her lap and handed her a plastic ring with big, colorful keys on it. The baby shook the keys and a little giggle bubbled out of her mouth. Tanner couldnt help the smile that tugged on his lips. The kid was so darn cute. A few short months ago shed been tiny, all arms and legs and thin cries. He couldnt help feeling a strange sort of attachment, knowing hed helped bring her into the world.
You want to ask me about Gavin.
He met her gaze. She was looking at him evenly, but as though she was bracing for whatever he was going to say or ask. Not exactly. I just noticed the other day that... He hesitated.
Just say it, Tanner. Ive heard it all.
He sighed. Thats what I mean. I noticed youre kind of, I dont know, set apart. People treat you differently. Not mean, just...
Polite. And look at me sideways like theyre trying to figure something out.
Yeah. And I wanted to say Im sorry about that. And if you need anything, you can give me a shout. I dont judge. If Rowan is Gavins...well, it took two of you, and until someone walks in your shoes, they really dont know about a situation.
She smiled softly. That sounds very insightful. Is this about you or me?
Maybe a little of both, he admitted. You didnt know me when we were all kids. Im a few years younger than Cole, and you were gone when I ran off to Vegas with Brittany. I screwed up, but people have long memories around here. Its like theyve never made a mistake in their lives.
So what is this? Are you championing an underdog? Or maybe throwing things back in their faces? Proving theyre right about you, that youre a screw-up by hanging around with the wrong kind of woman?
Ouch.
A wrinkle formed between her eyebrows. Sorry. That was me being superblunt again. Im the first one to admit I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder.
Despite the harshness of her words, he could tell shed asked an honest question, and he thought hard about how he would answer. Was he doing this to prove a point? Because if he was befriending her in a way that was anything less than genuine, that made him no better than anyone else.
No, he said softly. Thats not what Im doing. But that was a really good question to ask, Laura. Rowan dropped the keys on the floor. He leaned down, picked them up and handed them to her. He received a toothless grin as his reward. Its more that I know how it feels, and its wrong. Im not afraid to be your friend if you need one. You and Rowan. I was there when she was born. It was a big moment.
He didnt expect tears to gather in her eyes. It made the blue depths even bluer, and his heart stuttered a little. He wondered what the heck he should do now.
Sorry, she murmured, and reached for a paper napkin to wipe her eyes. She took a few deep breaths. Honestly, youre the first person to say that since Gavin. That youre my friend, that is.
Im sorry, he said, and he meant it.
She cuddled Rowan closer. Tanner, I can trust you, right?
A little ripple of warning slid through him. No one asked that sort of question unless they were planning on revealing something personal. But then, hed just said he wasnt afraid to be her friend. So he nodded, holding her gaze. Yeah, you can trust me.
Because there are only two people in Gibson who know the truth besides my lawyer. One is your brother. The other is Maddy Wallace.
Gavins widow.
This has to do with Gavin?
She nodded. Okay, here goes. The babys not his, Tanner. Gavin was a good friend, but nothing more. He was married. I would never get involved with a married man. Ive made a lot of bad decisions, but thats not one of them.
Tanner sat back in his chair. On one hand, he felt a surge of relief knowing shed never slept with Gavin. But on the other, he was completely perplexed. If their relationship had been nothing more than friendship, then why didnt she set the record straight?
I dont understand, he said.
You want to know why I let everyone think otherwise.
Well, yes! He frowned, leaning forward again and resting his elbows on the table. Laura, you know that people think you two had an affair. That Rowan is his. Youre deliberately letting that happen, and letting them make you an outcast. Why would you do that?
Because the truth is worse than the lie, she said quietly. And as difficult as it is for me, its in Rowans best interest, and I have to put her first.
Which really didnt explain anything.
Rowan started fussing, so Laura got up and put her on her shoulder. Tanner noticed again the difference in coloring. Lauras hair was wavy and a gorgeous auburn shade of red that he knew most women coveted and few came by naturally. Her skin was creamy white with a few light freckles, her eyes a clear summer blue. Rowan, while having the same pale skin tone, had perfectly straight dark brown hair, and her eyes were blue, but not the same vibrant shade as her mothers. Gavins hair had been brown like that, too, but he couldnt remember the mans features well enough to know if there was any imagined resemblance.
To the townspeople, the implication was enough. He knew that people often saw what they wanted to. Such was the power of suggestion.
So if Gavin wasnt the father, who was? And why was that truth so much worse than letting the world think Rowan was Gavin Wallaces?
Tanner? Lets go into the living room. Shes got a bouncy seat in there that she loves. Its almost nap time anyway, and I can explain a little better.
He followed her into the living room and sat on the sofa while she settled Rowan in the little chair and gave it a bounce. The girls face lit up and she smacked at the toys on the activity bar in front of her.
Best thing I bought for her, Laura said, smiling. She loves it and its saved my sanity more than once. Now that shes awake longer through the day, she gets bored. She sat in the chair to the right of him and let out a big breath. I suppose I need to elaborate a bit, dont I?
Did she? Was it really any of his business? He thought about what it meant to be a good friend. He had friends, but Cole was really the guy he was closest to. And even then, there were things his brother didnt know. Tanner totally understood how it felt to want to keep the darkest parts hidden away. Curious as he was, he knew how he had to answer. Tell me only if you want to, he said. You dont owe me any sort of an explanation at all.
And thats very generous of you. And surprising.
Like I told you before, Ive had a few moments that are not my finest. I dont judge.
She smiled at him then, a soft curving of her lips that reached in and grabbed him right by the heart. It was sweet, and perhaps a bit vulnerablesomething he hadnt seen in her up to this point. Except for one moment, last December. When shed had a particularly nasty contraction and shed reached out for his hand in the ambulance. Shed looked so scared and yet so trusting.
You know, Im starting to believe thats true, she whispered.
There was a long pause, and then she put her hands on her knees. Youve been nothing but kind to me, and I trust you. So heres the truth, leaving out some names if thats okay with you.
You can tell me as much or as little as you like.
She looked relieved. The truth is, up until last spring I lived in Nevada, in Reno. I was working for a small graphic design company and my roommate tended bar. Through her, I met this guy and we went out a few times. He was really handsome and charming, and he said he was in sales. She laughed bitterly. Pharmaceutical sales. God, I was so dumb, so naive, she said, giving a bitter laugh. Anyway, it was a bit of a whirlwind thing. But then he said he was being transferred to a new territory for a few months and he ended it. A few months later, he came back, and he was still handsome, still charming...but something felt off. I couldnt put my finger on it, but there was an edginess to him that hadnt been there before. A...hardness. I think I knew I should end things, but I told myself I was imagining it. I ignored all my instincts.
Tanner didnt like where this was going. At all. Did he hurt you? he asked gently.
Her eyes clashed with his, but she shook her head a little. No, not like that. He never laid a hand on me. He came into my work and wanted to start up where we left off, and I fell for his charms all over again. I let him stay with me at my apartment until he found a new job. But after a few weeks back together, I knew it wasnt what I wanted. I didnt feel safe, though I couldnt explain why. A few times, some guys showed up at my door, and I knew he wasnt honest about who they were. All my internal alarms were ringing and so I decided I needed to break it off.
Tanner hadnt realized hed been holding his breath until she paused and he let it out. And then what happened?
The day before I was going to do it, the cops came and arrested him. He totally lost it when they showed up, and God, it was so ugly. He was charged with violating his parole, assault and battery and possession of a controlled substance. I had no idea about the drugs. Turns out that transfer? He wasnt working. He was in prison. Her normally sparkly eyes had dimmed, her lips thinned to a straight, disapproving line. He wasnt a pharmaceutical rep at all. He was dealing. To kids. And I was too blind to see the signs. By then it was too late.
Tanner didnt say anything; he simply sat quietly while she composed herself. He knew what it was like when you found out the person you thought you loved turned out to be totally different. Though at least Brit hadnt been a felon. Just...not who he thought she was.
The babys his? he finally asked.
She nodded miserably. When they left with him, he looked right at me and said hed be back, just like last time. Not to worry, hed come find me when he got out. The way he said it...it made my blood run cold. It wasnt reassuring. It was a threat. If he knew about Rowan...
Tanner looked from her to the sweet baby bobbing in the bouncy chair. The two of them werent his, but damned if he didnt feel protective of them just the same. Hed come after you both.
She nodded again. Yeah. I had to give a statement to the police and I found out a lot about his past. I was so stupid, Tanner. So blind. I believed every lie he fed me. How many kinds of idiot could I be? And then to get pregnant...
The agony in her voice was real. Im pretty sure you didnt mean for that to happen, he said quietly. He got up and moved to the end of the sofa so he was closer to her, and he reached out and put his hand on her knee. Listen. Remember that marriage I mentioned? I was totally in love with this girl Brittany from Lincoln. She and a couple of girlfriends moved to Vegas, and I thought Id surprise her one weekend. It was crazy. He decided to leave out some of the more sordid details about the weekend activities. By the end of it, wed gotten married at a chapel on the Strip.
Oh.
Yeah. Oh. And when I asked how long it would take her to pack up and come home with me, she laughed. She had no plans to leave. She loved it there. She loved the lights and the excitement and the party. She certainly didnt love me. It was all a crazy, fun adventure to her.
And you were dead serious.
You betcha. He smiled wryly, trying not to think of the moment when Brittany had all but fallen over laughing at him. We all make mistakes. And I guess now I understand why you havent set the record straight. Because youll take the gossip if it means keeping your daughter safe.
A tear slid down her cheek. Oh, damn. I spent enough time crying. Youd think Id be over it by now. She rubbed the tear away. Its such a relief to actually tell someone, and I think its made me super-emotional. Maddy only knows the bare minimum and no details. I couldnt stand the thought of her thinking Gavin had cheated on her any longer. He loved her so much.
But its rough on you.
Its worth it if Rowan stays safe.
Damn, Laura. Why not move somewhere else, where no one knows?
Once more she looked into his eyes, and he saw shadows there.
The only way I could get this house was if Gramps and Gram cosigned the loan, and that was before all the rumors. Theres no way Ill get financing for another place, not with the little bit of freelancing Im doing. And Im having a hard time building the business because I dont want to put my full name on anything. Itll make it too easy to find me, you know?
So youre stuck.
Yep. I mean, I grew up here, but it doesnt mean its not awkward.
Awkward was putting it lightly. Gavin was helping you, wasnt he?
Yeah, with some of the legalities. And he did the legal fees for the house pro bono. His partners been keeping me updated on Spen...on my exs sentence.
She sighed, looked down at Rowan. The bouncing had stopped, and Tanner saw that each blink of Rowans eyes was slower than the last.
I feel like Im spinning my wheels. Her shoulders were slumped a bit as she rested her elbows on her knees. I want to start over, but its hard to do when you want to remain invisible. At least with the contract work, my name was kept out of it. But if Im going to freelance, I cant stay anonymous. Even if Im careful, its not hard to find the trail.
Too bad you cant change your name, he replied, half joking. Then hed be looking for Laura Jessup and not Laura someone else.
A crazy, ridiculous, ludicrous idea flitted through his brain.
No. Shed never agree and besides, it was a dumb idea. He kept hearing Brit laugh and say how he wasnt husband material. Maybe not, but perhaps he could be friend material. No one else was stepping up to give Laura a hand. The only one who had was gone, and she had no one to be on her side.
Plus, he was tired of living at home. This could be beneficial to both of them.
Laura, how open are you to harebrained schemes?
She lifted her head, chuckled softly. Why? Do you have one?
Something twisted in his gut, in an oh-my-God-are-you-really-going-to-ask way. His palms started to sweat and his breath caught. Hed said the words once before in his life, but this time it was different. This time it wasnt for love. So why was he so tied up in knots?
I just might. And youre going to be tempted to say no, but hear me out.
Her eyebrows pulled together in a puzzled look.
Laura, he said, not quite believing what he was about to say. I think we should get married.
Chapter Four (#ulink_bde1d02f-f664-5590-8637-b235018141de)
Laura started laughing. Marry Tanner? That was the most ridiculous thing shed ever heard. Oh God, she said, between breaths of mirth. You shouldnt even joke about that.
He was chuckling, too, which was why his next words surprised her even more. Im actually perfectly serious. Ive wanted to move out of the house for a while now. And if you married me, you could be Laura Hudson. Laura Hudson could set up her own business in that name and not be so easy for this guy to find.
Her laughter died in her throat. She was starting to think he meant it. Her face went hot. Sure, Tanner was good-looking. Extraordinarily so, but she hadnt really thought of him in a romantic kind of way. For a moment, an image flashed through her mindof her and Tanner doing things that married couples do. Her face burned hotter.
Tanner, I... I mean, you and me...
He seemed to understand what she was getting at. Laura, Im not talking about a real marriage. It would be in name only, of course. We hardly know each other.
My point exactly. She exhaled a relieved breath. They were, at best, friends. Their contact had been limited to the ambulance ride to the hospital, running into each other and chatting on a few occasions in town, and the events of the last few weeks. Sure, she liked him well enough, but she wouldnt be roommates with someone she knew so little of, let alone husband and wife.
Husband and wife.
He leaned forward, put his elbows on his knees and peered into her face. You said you were hesitant to put out your shingle online because it made you too visible. Even if you use a company name, your contact info is going to be listed somewhere. When you register your website, or fill out business forms for taxes and stuff.
All true, but it wasnt as simple as a different last name. Tanner, its not like it would be impossible to figure it out, even if I did change my name. Thered be marriage records to show that I was once Laura Jessup.
Maybe, he conceded, but it would make it more difficult. And if youre married, chances are that even if this guy did find you, hed probably think that the baby was, well, your husbands.
Yours, she said, the word echoing in the strangely quiet room.
Yes.
Silence fell. Hed hit her squarely where it hurther daughter. Her top priority was protecting Rowan. It was why, after all, she let the town of Gibson collectively assume that the baby was Gavins...even though that made her an adulteress and a home wrecker. But this was different. This was marriage. A wedding. And she wasnt sure what Tanner wanted to get out of it. There must be something. There was no way it was a purely altruistic move.
Good gracious, was she actually considering it?
Of course she wasnt. Harebrained was a great way to characterize the idea. Shed made enough mistakes over the last few years; she wasnt too keen to compound them by marrying a stranger just so she could change her name.
She got up and walked to the window, looking out over the backyard. The grass was greening up, but there were dry, bare patches where the ground was hard and unyielding. Laura sighed. Yes, she had her own place, but it wasnt much. She kept it clean, but it was hardly better than the lousy apartments in Reno. Rundown and unloved. Funny, she was starting to think of herself in those terms, too.
Marrying Tanner was a stupid idea. Shed just keep on doing what she was doing and figure it out somehow. She always did.
Tanner, I appreciate the offer, but I dont need to be rescued. Its a crazy idea and I think it would be a disaster.
Why? I like you. And I think you like me. He smiled at her. Wed be roommates, thats all. No funny business, I promise.
.
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