Читать онлайн книгу «A Family Made At Christmas» автора Scarlet Wilson

A Family Made At Christmas
Scarlet Wilson
A family to heal her heart…For physiotherapist April Henderson, gorgeous army doc Riley Callaghan is off-limits. With her life-altering surgery looming, she can’t afford to consider anyone else right now. But when Riley is given the biggest news of his life—a son he knew nothing about—April can’t help but offer him support.Spending time with Riley and his adorable son, Finn, this Christmas gives April a glimpse of the life she’s always wanted. But can she risk her heart when her future is so uncertain…?


A family to heal her heart...
For physiotherapist April Henderson, gorgeous army doc Riley Callaghan is off-limits. With her life-altering surgery looming, she can’t afford to consider anyone else right now. But when Riley is given the biggest news of his life—a son he knew nothing about—April can’t help but offer him support.
Spending time with Riley and his adorable son, Finn, at Christmas gives April a glimpse of the life she’s always wanted. But can she risk her heart when her future is so uncertain?
‘Let me do something for you, April.’
The rush of emotion tumbled through her in waves. When was the last time someone had spoken to her like that? When was the last time she’d wanted someone to get this close? It felt like for ever. It felt like a whole lifetime ago.
A lifetime before her sister’s vague symptoms. Shock diagnosis. Frantic treatment attempts. And the life just slowly draining from her body.
Riley made the smallest move. His cheek touched hers and his lips brushed against her ear.
‘A toy shop. Along with the superhero T-shirts, I think you might secretly be a Peter Pan kind of girl.’
She could sense he was smiling.
Her eyes were closed, the toy shop ornament held in front of her chest. She turned towards him just as his head pulled back from her ear. Every part of her literally ached. Ached for his lips to touch hers. Then, before she had time to think any more, his lips brushed against hers. The sensation was just as sweet as she’d imagined. Every bit as magical. His hand tangled in her hair as the gentlest pressure increased.
She wanted this. She wanted this more than she’d ever imagined.
But just this—the slightest kiss—had put her sensations into overload. Every part of her brain fired. She was starting something she might not be able to continue. She was taking what could not be hers. She was kissing a man she hadn’t been entirely truthful with.
Dear Reader (#u2e8fe223-0b22-52d1-86d6-797fcf9d9518),
It’s official! Christmas is my favourite time of year. I can’t get enough of it, and what I love more than anything is writing Christmas books. I have to be honest and say that this one is my favourite yet. I loved writing about these characters. April and Riley’s story jumped off the page at me, and certain scenes—especially the ones with the little boy Finn—made me cry. There are lots of difficult issues in this story, but true love conquers in the end. I hope you love this story as much as I do.
I have lots of traditions with my family and good friends at Christmas, but being a Mills & Boon author has let me develop some new ones. One of which is buying a Christmas bauble from a very famous London store every time I come down to London for the official Mills & Boon Author Lunch. This year I hope to take that number up to seven. I’ve been buying one since I was first published in 2011 and I’m rapidly running out of colours!
I love to hear from readers, so feel free to contact me via my website, scarlet-wilson.com (http://www.scarlet-wilson.com), or you can find me on Facebook or Twitter.
Merry Christmas!
Love,
Scarlet
A Family Made at Christmas
Scarlet Wilson


www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
SCARLET WILSON wrote her first story aged eight and has never stopped. She’s worked in the health service for twenty years, trained as a nurse and a health visitor. Scarlet now works in public health and lives on the West Coast of Scotland with her fiancé and their two sons. Writing medical romances and contemporary romances is a dream come true for her.
Books by Scarlet Wilson
Mills & Boon Medical Romance
Christmas Miracles in Maternity
A Royal Baby for Christmas
Midwives On-Call at Christmas
A Touch of Christmas Magic
The Doctor She Left Behind
The Doctor’s Baby Secret
One Kiss in Tokyo...
The Doctor and the Princess
Mills & Boon Cherish
Maids Under the Mistletoe
Christmas in the Boss’s Castle
Visit the Author Profile page
at millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk) for more titles.
This book is dedicated to Sheila Hodgson, my fabulous editor. Thank you for believing in this story and letting me see it through, and thank you for being the best advocate for Medical Romance in the world!
Praise for
Scarlet Wilson
‘The book is filled with high-strung emotions, engaging dialogue, breathtaking descriptions and characters you just cannot help but love. With the magic of Christmas as a bonus, you won’t be disappointed with this story!’
—Goodreads on
A Touch of Christmas Magic
Scarlet Wilson won the 2017 RoNA Rose Award for her book Christmas in the Boss’s Castle
Contents
Cover (#ueac9e26a-9bcf-5d60-a573-ed16ba1bd227)
Back Cover Text (#ucccff9c1-9d2c-5096-b1f8-f0fffa4a0d5c)
Introduction (#uf4af30e5-a42b-50b9-941b-9bf038269b3c)
Dear Reader (#u8b3813df-2117-5b65-a9c1-e53cde0cc12a)
Title Page (#ucec0e874-db0a-51d8-84a6-5f1f82658bac)
About the Author (#u60a440bb-9217-57f1-a231-8a82454bdaee)
Dedication (#ua065728a-c6b7-5d19-87ba-55aeb43ca840)
CHAPTER ONE (#u5b2de916-0088-5616-b123-8741bb64f49c)
CHAPTER TWO (#uc273daf3-9e29-5228-8f82-42f39a2598c0)
CHAPTER THREE (#u2e85e6f0-e4c2-59f5-a9ea-f1bbc1f71a41)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
EPILOGUE (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#u2e8fe223-0b22-52d1-86d6-797fcf9d9518)
‘HURRY UP, RILEY. It’s your round.’ The hard slap on the shoulder nearly ejected him from his chair. Riley laughed and turned around. Frank Cairney, one of the rehab nurses, was standing with his rucksack on his shoulder. The rest of the team were hovering outside near the door. ‘Should I go and hold up the bar for us?’
Riley nodded. ‘Just a few notes to finish and I’ll be there. Thanks, guys.’
He typed quickly on the electronic record, leaving detailed notes on the plan for Jake Ashford, a soldier injured on duty in Afghanistan and now a resident in the army rehab hospital at Waterloo Court.
It was late afternoon on a Friday. Those who could go home had gone home. But some patients wouldn’t be able to go home for some time—Jake was one of those.
Working in the rehab hospital hadn’t really been on Riley’s career plan. But, due to a family crisis, a fellow colleague hadn’t been able to start when he should have, meaning the hospital needed someone to fill in. Riley’s surgical experience in orthopaedics had been flagged and his deployment had been delayed on a temporary basis for a few weeks.
But today was his last shift. And truth was he was relieved. The staff and support team at Waterloo Court were fantastic, as were the world-class rehab services, but Riley liked the pace of emergencies. On Monday he’d be in Sierra Leone, where another outbreak of Ebola seemed to be emerging.
He finished his notes and walked down the corridor to the in-patient beds. He heard the laughter before he saw her familiar frame.
April Henderson had Jake sitting at the side of his bed. Laughing. Really laughing, as if she’d just told him the funniest joke in the world.
Even from here he knew exactly what she was doing—testing Jake’s sitting balance. She was one of the best physiotherapists he’d ever worked with.
She was tireless. She was relentless. She was polite. She was professional.
He’d caught himself on more than one occasion watching that blonde ponytail swishing up the corridor in front of him as she made her way between the ninety patients that were housed in the state-of-the-art unit.
But even now—four weeks later—he really didn’t know a thing about her.
April was the quietest co-worker he’d ever met. Every conversation, every communication had been about their patients. When he asked her about life, what she was doing at the weekend or anything other than work she just shut down.
He’d asked other staff a few questions about her, but no one really said much. Apparently she wasn’t married and hadn’t mentioned a boyfriend. The staff here were a mixture of military and civilian. April was civilian. She’d transferred to the new unit at Waterloo Court. The centre dealt with serious musculoskeletal injuries, neurological injuries and complex trauma, including amputees. The brand-new facility was four times bigger than its predecessor. There were gyms, full of cardiovascular and resistance equipment, two swimming pools, a hydrotherapy pool and a specialist centre where artificial limbs were manufactured on-site and individually tailored to the patients’ needs.
‘Doc?’ Jake caught his eye.
Riley crossed the room, holding out his hand. ‘I came to say goodbye.’ He paused for a second. ‘I’m shipping out again tomorrow.’ He had to be truthful, but he could see the momentary pang in the young man’s eyes. Jake loved the army. Had wanted to serve since he was five. And now, at the grand old age of twenty-three, would be unlikely to ever ship out again.
Jake took Riley’s extended hand. ‘Good luck, Doc—it’s been short and sweet. Where are you headed?’
Riley gave a shrug. ‘At the moment, I think it’s Africa. But you know how things can change. By the time Monday comes around it could be somewhere else completely.’
He glanced down at April, who was leaning against a stool at the side of the bed. ‘Are you coming to the farewell drinks, April?’
It was obvious he’d caught her off guard because two tiny pink spots flared in her cheeks and she stumbled over her words. ‘Wh-what? Er...no...sorry. I don’t think I’ll manage.’
Jake nudged her with one of his dangling feet. ‘Oh, go on, April. When was the last time you could tell me a good night out story?’
The pinkness spread. But the shy demeanour vanished instantly. He’d always found that curious about her. April Henderson knew how to engage with her patients. Really engage with her patients. Around them she was relaxed, open and even showed the occasional glimmer of fun. But around any of the staff? She was just April.
‘I’m not here to tell you night out stories, Jake. I’m here to help get you back on your feet again.’ She leaned forward and put her hands on his bare leg. ‘But don’t think I didn’t notice that deliberate kick.’ She looked up and gave Jake a wide smile. ‘That’s great. That’s something we can work on.’
With her bright blue eyes, blonde hair and clear skin, April Henderson could be stunning if she wanted to be. But there was never any make-up on her skin, never any new style with her hair. It was almost as if she used her uniform as a shield.
Riley watched the look on Jake’s face. For the first time in weeks he saw something that hadn’t been there much before. Hope.
It did weird things to his insides. Jake was a young man who should be filled with hope. His whole life was ahead of him. But there was already a good hint that his injury could be limiting. They still didn’t have a clear prognosis for him, and that was why April’s work was so vital.
He winked at Jake and folded his arms across his chest. ‘I’m completely and utterly offended that you won’t come to my farewell drinks. Four long weeks here, all those shifts together, and you can’t even say goodbye.’
‘He’s right, April.’ Jake nodded. ‘It is shocking. Thank goodness you’re not actually in the army. At this point you’d be getting a dishonourable discharge.’
For the briefest of seconds there was a flash of panic behind her eyes, quickly followed by the realisation that they were kidding with her.
She raised her eyebrows. Gave her best smile. The one reserved for patients in trouble. Both of them recognised it instantly.
‘Uh-oh,’ Riley muttered.
April touched Jake’s leg. ‘Well, just so you know, Jake, now that we’ve established there’s some movement and—’ she stood up ‘—your balance is gradually improving, I think I’ll have a whole new plan for you, starting tomorrow.’
Jake groaned as Riley laughed. He couldn’t quite work out why April could chat easily with patients but could barely say a word to him on a normal day.
Jake pointed at Riley. ‘This is all your fault. You’re abandoning me to this wicked, wicked woman. You know she’ll work me hard and exhaust me.’ He said the words with a twinkle in his eyes.
Riley nodded as he glanced at April. Her blue gaze met his. For the first time since he’d met her, she didn’t look away instantly. He smiled. ‘You’re right, Jake. But I’m leaving you with one of the best physios I’ve ever met. She’ll push you to your absolute limit—exactly what you need. If anyone can get you back on your feet again, it’s April Henderson.’ He put his hand on Jake’s shoulder as he leaned forward to fake whisper in his ear, ‘Even if she won’t have a drink with me.’
There was something about that bright blue gaze. Even under the harsh hospital lights that seemed to drain the colour from everyone else, April still looked good. The edges of her mouth gave just the slightest hint of turning upwards. It was the first time he’d wished he wasn’t leaving.
Jake reached up and grabbed his hand, giving it a shake. ‘Thanks, Lieutenant Callaghan. Good luck with your deployment.’ There was a tiny waver in his voice. Almost as if he knew the likelihood was he’d never make another deployment himself.
Riley clasped his hand between his. ‘I’ll look you up again when I come back.’ He started towards the door, then glanced over his shoulder and gave a warm smile. ‘You too, April.’
* * *
Her heart was acting as though she were racing along a beach, rather than sitting at the side of a patient’s bed.
Darn it.
Ever since Riley Callaghan had turned up on this ward she’d spent the last four weeks avoiding him. It was everything. The little kink in his dark hair. The smiling green eyes. The cheeky charm. Oh, lots of doctors and servicemen she’d met in the last few years had the talk, the wit, the lots of charm.
But she’d had enough to deal with. The diagnosis of her twin sister’s ovarian cancer, rapidly followed by her failing treatment, then Mallory’s death, had meant that she had found it easier to retreat into herself and seal herself off from the world. Her own genetic testing had floored her. She had decisions to make. Plans for the future.
Her last relationship had been half-hearted. Mallory had got sick and she’d realised quickly that she needed to spend time with her sister. But, since then, the last thing she wanted was a relationship.
After her own testing, she’d spent a day wondering whether she should just find some random guy, try to get pregnant, have a baby quickly and deal with everything else after.
But those thoughts had only lasted a day. She’d met the surgeon. A date for her surgery would be agreed soon. And she needed to do this part of her life alone.
Then Riley Callaghan had appeared on her ward. All cheeky grins and twinkling eyes. It was the first time in a long time she’d actually been aware of every sense in her body. Her surge of adrenaline. Every rapid heartbeat.
That was the reason she didn’t engage in small talk. That was the reason she kept to herself. She couldn’t afford to let herself be attracted to a guy at such a crucial point in her life. How did you start that conversation anyway? Oh, you want to go on a date? Great. By the way, in a few months’ time I’m going to have my ovaries and fallopian tubes removed and maybe later my breasts. What? You don’t want to hang around?
It didn’t matter that she’d found herself glancing in Riley’s direction every time he’d appeared on the ward. She’d hated the way she’d started stumbling over her words around him, or had trouble looking him in the eye.
But as she watched his retreating back her mouth felt dry. Part of her wanted to grab her jacket and join the rest of the staff for a drink. But then she’d be in a pub, where her inhibitions could lower, and she could encourage the gentle flirtation that could go absolutely nowhere.
She shook her head and turned her attention back to Jake. ‘Can we get you more comfortable? I’ll work on your new programme and we’ll start tomorrow.’
Jake gave her a nod and she helped settle him in a comfortable, specially designed chair for those with spinal injuries.
Her shift was finished but it wouldn’t take long to write up her notes and make the adjustments needed for tomorrow. It wasn’t as if she had anywhere to go, right?
Half an hour later there were a few voices in the corridor behind her. This was a military hospital. When the Colonel appeared, it was never good news.
All the hairs bristled on her arms. She looked around, wondering who was about to get bad news.
‘Ms Henderson?’
She spun around in her chair and jumped to her feet. Her? How? What?
A woman with a pinched face and dark grey coat stood next to the Colonel. She didn’t even know that he knew her name.
‘Y-yes,’ she stumbled.
‘We’re wondering where Lieutenant Callaghan is.’
Her heart plummeted in her chest. Riley? They had bad news for Riley?
She glanced around. ‘He’s not here. But I know where he is. Can you give me five minutes? I’ll get him for you.’
The Colonel nodded and she rushed past, going to the changing room and grabbing her jacket. If she ran, the pub was only five minutes away.
As soon as she stepped outside she realised just how much the temperature had dipped. It was freezing and it was only the middle of November. As she thudded down the dark path a few snowflakes landed on her cheeks. Snow? Already?
She slowed her run. If spots of rain had turned to snow, then there was a chance the damp ground would be slippery.
The pub came into view, warm light spilling from its windows. She stopped running completely, her warm breath steaming in the air around her.
She could hear the noise and laughter coming from the pub already. She closed her eyes for a second. She hated that she was about to do this. To walk into a farewell party and pull Riley away for news he probably wouldn’t want. Did his family serve in the military? Did he have a brother? She just didn’t know. She hadn’t allowed herself to have that kind of conversation with Riley.
She pushed open the door to the pub, the heat hitting her instantly. It was busy. She jostled her way through the people, scanning one way then another. It didn’t take long to recognise the laugh. She picked Riley’s familiar frame out of the crowd and pushed herself towards him. Her work colleagues were picking up glasses and toasting him. She stumbled as she reached him, her hands coming out and landing square on his chest. His hard, muscular chest.
‘April?’ He looked completely surprised. ‘Oh, wow. You made it. That’s great.’ His arm had automatically gone around her shoulder. He pulled her a little closer to try to talk above the noise in the pub. ‘Can I get you something to drink?’
He frowned as he noticed she hadn’t even changed out of her uniform.
She looked up into his green eyes. ‘Riley, I’m sorry—I’m not here for the drinks.’
He pulled back a little whilst keeping his arm on her shoulder. ‘You aren’t?’
Her hands were still on his chest. She really didn’t want to move them. ‘Riley—’ she pressed her lips together for a second ‘—the Colonel is looking for you. He came to the ward.’
She felt every part of his body tense.
‘What?’ His voice had changed.
She nodded. ‘I said I’d come and get you.’
Riley didn’t even say goodbye to anyone around him. He just grabbed hold of her hand and pulled her behind him as he jostled his way through the crowd.
The snow was falling as they reached the main door. Riley spun around to face her, worry etched all over his face. ‘What did he say? Is it just the Colonel?’
April shook her head. ‘He didn’t tell me anything. And there’s an older woman with him. I didn’t recognise her.’
She reached up and touched his arm. It didn’t matter that she’d vowed to keep a distance. This was a completely different set of circumstances. This was a work colleague who was likely to receive some bad news. She’d never leave a workmate alone at a time like this. ‘Let me come back with you’ was all she said.
And, after the longest few seconds, Riley gave a nod.
* * *
He started walking quickly but eventually just broke into a run. His brother. It had to be his brother. He was on a training exercise right now somewhere in Scotland, flying out to Afghanistan tomorrow. Accidents happened. As a doctor, he knew that more than most. Unless something had happened to his mum and dad. Could they have had an accident?
He was conscious of the footsteps beside him. The ones that broke into a gentle run when he did. He’d been surprised by April’s appearance earlier—it had made his heart lurch for a few seconds. But it hadn’t taken long to notice the paleness of her complexion. The worry in her bright blue eyes. And she was right by his side. Trouble was, right now he couldn’t think straight.
By the time he reached the ward area his brain was spinning completely. He slowed down to a walk, took a few deep breaths and tried to put on his professional face. He was a soldier. He could deal with whatever news he was about to receive.
The Colonel ushered him into a room where a woman in a grey coat was sitting with a file in front of her.
April hovered near the door—she didn’t seem to know whether to leave or not—and he was kind of glad she was still around.
‘Lieutenant Callaghan. Please take a seat.’
He didn’t want to sit. In fact, sitting was the last thing he wanted to do. But if it would get this thing over with quicker then he’d do it.
He sat down and glanced at the woman. She leaned across the table towards him. ‘Dr Callaghan, my name is Elizabeth Cummings. I’m a social worker.’
He frowned. A social worker? Why did she need to speak to him?
She flicked open her file. ‘I understand that this might seem a little unusual. Can I ask, do you know an Isabel Porter?’
He flinched. This was not what he’d been expecting to hear. He glanced at the Colonel. ‘Sir, my parents? My brother?’
The Colonel shook his head and gestured back to Ms Cummings. ‘No. They’re fine. They’re absolutely fine. Please, this is something else entirely.’
Riley shifted in his chair. He glanced behind at April. She looked just as confused as he was.
Now he felt uncomfortable. He looked back at the social worker. ‘Isabel Porter, from Birmingham?’
The woman nodded.
‘Yes, I know Isabel. At least, I did. Around five years ago. Why are you asking me that?’
Ms Cummings gave a nod. ‘I see. Dr Callaghan, I’m sorry to tell you that there was an accident a few days ago. Isabel was killed in a road traffic accident.’
It was like a cold prickle down his spine. Nothing about this seemed right. ‘Oh, I see. I’m really sorry to hear that. But I don’t understand. Why are you telling me?’ He looked from one tight face to the other.
Ms Cummings glanced at the Colonel. ‘There is an issue we need to discuss. Ms Porter left a will.’
‘Isabel had written a will?’ Now that did sound weird. Isabel had been a bit chaotic. Their relationship had barely lasted a few months. And they hadn’t kept in touch. He hadn’t heard from her at all in the last five years. ‘Why on earth are you telling me this?’
Ms Cummings slid an envelope across the desk to him. ‘Maybe this will help explain things.’ She kept talking. ‘Obviously there’s been a delay. Isabel had no other family. No next of kin, which is probably why she left a will and wrote this letter for you. It takes time to find out if someone has left a will or not.’
Riley glanced at the letter on the table in front of him. He had no idea what was going on. Nothing about this made sense.
April walked over and put her hand on his shoulder. From the woman who’d seemed so shut off, it was such an unexpected move. But the warm feel of her palm on his shoulder sent a wave of pure comfort through his confused state.
Ms Cummings stared at April for a second then continued. ‘It’s apparent that your name wasn’t on the birth certificate. I’m not quite sure why that was. But because Isabel didn’t have you formally named as next of kin, Finn has been in temporary foster care for the last few days.’
Riley shook his head. ‘Who?’
She stared at him. ‘Finn. Your son.’
For the first time he was glad of the chair. If he hadn’t had it, his legs might have made him sway.
‘My son?’
Ms Cummings glanced at the Colonel again. ‘Yes, Dr Callaghan. That’s why I’m here.’
‘I have a son?’
She stared at him again. ‘Finn. He’s five. Isabel never told you?’
He shook his head as his brain just spun. Not a single rational thought would form. ‘No. Isabel never told me.’
Ms Cummings pushed the letter towards him again. He noticed it was sealed. The social worker had no idea of the contents. ‘Well, maybe that’s why she left you the letter.’
Riley looked at the cream envelope in front of him. He picked it up and ripped it open, pulling out a matching cream sheet of paper.
Dear Riley,
I hope you never have to read this. But if you do it’s because something’s happened. I’m sorry I never told you about Finn. You’d already left for Afghanistan and it just seemed pointless. We already knew our time was over and I didn’t need to complicate your life.
I hope I’m not about to spoil things for you. I hope you’ve managed to meet someone, marry and have a family of your own.
Finn and I have been great. We haven’t needed anything at all. He’s a funny, quirky little boy and I can see traits of us both in him every single day. I love him more than you can ever know, and I hope you’ll feel that way about him too.
He knows who you are. I only had a few pictures, but I put them in his room and told him you worked away and would meet him when he grew up.
Please forgive me, and love my darling boy for both of us.
Isabel
He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t breathe. His life had just been turned upside down and on its head. He had a child. He had a son.
And he’d never been told. Rage filled his brain, just as April’s fingers tightened on his shoulder. She could probably read every word of the letter over his shoulder.
April leaned over and spun the letter around to face the social worker, giving her a few seconds to read it. Her face paled.
Ms Cummings looked at him. ‘You didn’t even know that Finn existed?’
He shook his head. The firm touch by April was dissipating the rage that was burning inside. Isabel had been quirky. She’d been a little chaotic. This didn’t seem completely out of character. He just hadn’t had a clue.
‘Where is Finn now?’ April’s voice cut through his thoughts.
Ms Cummings looked up. ‘And you are?’
April leaned across and held out her hand. ‘I’m April Henderson. I’m a friend and colleague of Dr Callaghan’s.’ She said the words so easily. A friend. It almost sounded true.
Ms Cummings shuffled some papers. ‘Finn’s been in temporary foster care in Birmingham.’
Panic started to fill Riley. ‘My son is in foster care?’ He’d heard about these things. Wasn’t foster care bad for kids?
Ms Cummings nodded. ‘We have a few things to sort out. As your name isn’t on the birth certificate, you may want to arrange a DNA test. However, Ms Porter named you as her son’s guardian in her will. Pending a few checks, I’ll be happy to release Finn into your custody. You will, of course, be allocated a local social worker to help you with any queries.’ She lifted something from her bag. ‘As you’ll know, in England we have a number of legal procedures. Isabel left everything in trust—via you—for Finn. But probate takes some time. I can only let you have these keys to the house for a day or so—to pick some things up for Finn. Although ultimately it will come to you, the keys have to be returned to the lawyer in the meantime.’
‘When do I pick up Finn?’
‘Do you have somewhere suitable for him to stay?’
His thoughts went immediately to his temporary army lodgings. He was only supposed to be here four weeks. ‘I’m supposed to leave for Sierra Leone on Monday.’ The words came out of nowhere.
The Colonel interjected quickly. ‘Don’t worry. I’ll take care of that. You have a family emergency. Your son obviously takes priority here. Do you want me to arrange some other accommodation for you?’
He nodded automatically. He didn’t own a property. He had money in the bank but had never got around to buying a place as he’d no idea where he’d eventually end up.
His eyes caught sight of a box in the corner of the room. Red tinsel. It was stuffed full of Christmas decorations. Christmas. It was only six weeks away. His son had lost his mother, six weeks before Christmas.
‘I’ll give you an address. I can meet you at the foster parents’ house tomorrow if that suits.’
‘It suits.’ The words were automatic.
Ms Cummings gave a nod. ‘There’s one other thing.’
‘What’s that?’
She licked her lips. ‘As Ms Porter had no other next of kin and you’re the only person named in the will, it will be up to you to organise the funeral.’
‘What?’
Ms Cummings’s eyes narrowed. ‘Will that be a problem?’
He shook his head. ‘No. Of course not.’
Ms Cummings pushed some papers towards him. ‘Here’s a copy of the will. A note of Ms Porter’s address and her lawyer’s address to drop the keys back. And a copy of the address for the foster family tomorrow. Let’s say eleven o’clock?’
Business obviously concluded, she gathered her papers and stood up. Riley glanced at the clock. In the space of ten minutes his life had just turned on its head.
‘Do you have a picture?’
She looked startled. ‘Of Finn?’
He nodded. Of course of Finn. Who did she think he wanted to see a picture of?
She reopened her file and slid out a small photograph. His mouth dried instantly. It was like a blast from the past. That small innocent face. Thirty years ago that had been him. A whole world he didn’t even know existed.
He didn’t even speak as the Colonel showed Ms Cummings out.
* * *
April had an ache deep inside her belly. This was a whole new Riley Callaghan in front of her right now.
He looked almost broken. She’d spent the last four weeks secretly watching his cheeky grin, positive interactions and boundless energy. There had been a few emergencies on the ward and Riley thought and moved quicker than anyone. He was a great doctor. Happy to help others. And always itching to get on to the next thing.
It was the first time she’d ever seen him slumped. He just seemed stunned.
His hand reached up and crumpled the letter on the table in front of him. She moved instinctively, brushing her fingers against his, pulling the paper from his and smoothing the paper back down.
‘Don’t. In a few years’ time you might want to show that to Finn.’
He stood up so quickly the chair flew back and hit the floor. ‘She didn’t tell me. She didn’t tell me about him.’ He flung his hands up. ‘How could she do that to me? How could she do that to him?’
April’s mouth dried. She didn’t know what to say. How on earth could she answer that question?
He started pacing, running his hands through his thick dark hair. ‘What do I do? I don’t know the first thing about children. I don’t know how to be a father. What if he doesn’t like me? What if I suck at being a dad?’ He threw his hands out again. ‘I don’t have a house. What do I buy for a five-year-old? What does a five-year-old boy need? And what about my job? Will I still work here? What about school? Does Finn even go to school yet? I move about, all over the place. How can that be good for a kid?’
April took a deep breath. It was clear that every thought in his brain was just tumbling straight out of his mouth. She shook her head and stood in front of him. ‘Riley, I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. But there’s a foster mother. She’ll probably be able to help. You have keys to the house. Everything that a five-year-old boy needs will be there. And it will probably help Finn if you take his own things to help him settle.’
The light in the office was dimmer than the rest of the hospital. But Riley’s hurt green eyes were the thing she could see clearest. She was standing right in front of him. Closer than she’d ever wanted to get.
He closed his eyes for a second then nodded. ‘You’re right. I know you’re right. But my son...Finn...he’s been in foster care. Isn’t that supposed to be terrible?’
She gave a soft smile. ‘I think those days are long gone. Foster carers have to go through a mountain of checks these days. Finn will have been well looked after. But the last few days will probably have been a blur.’
He reached out and took her hand in his. It made her catch her breath. It was so unexpected. And more. He just didn’t let it go.
She could almost feel his pain. It was palpable. It was right there in the air between them. Riley Callaghan had just had the legs swept from clean under him. And, to his credit, he was still standing. Just the way she would have expected of him.
‘Will you help me, April?’ He squeezed her hand.
Fear swept through her. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I don’t know. I don’t know anything. Will you help me?’
Help. What did that mean? She was all for supporting a colleague in a difficult situation. But this one was probably bigger than anyone could have expected.
‘Please? I’m out of my depth, April. I know that already.’ His green eyes were pleading with her. Twisting her insides this way and that.
A child. A little boy had just lost a parent. Finn must be feeling lost. He must feel as if his whole world had just ended.
She met Riley’s gaze. ‘I’ll help where I can,’ she said cautiously. ‘I can help you with the funeral.’
He frowned. ‘You will?’
Mallory. She’d organised every tiny detail of the funeral, even though it had ripped her heart out. Who else knew her twin better than her?
She nodded. ‘Let’s just say I’m good at funerals.’
And she squeezed his hand back.
CHAPTER TWO (#u2e8fe223-0b22-52d1-86d6-797fcf9d9518)
WHAT ON EARTH am I doing?
April spent the whole time on the motorway questioning herself. Riley’s hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white. He’d looked pale this morning. As if he hadn’t slept a wink.
By the time the satnav took them into the Birmingham street, the tension was so high she felt as if it could propel the car into the sky. As he killed the engine she leaned over and put one of her hands over his. She really didn’t want to touch him. Touching Riley did strange things to her senses, but this wasn’t about her. This was about a little boy.
‘Stop.’
‘What?’
‘Just...stop.’
He pulled back his hands and sat back in the seat. ‘What are you talking about?’
She could see the tension across his shoulders, reaching up into his jaw.
‘You can’t go in there like this.’
‘What?’ The anger that had been simmering beneath the surface was threatening to crack through.
‘This is the first time Finn will see you. None of this is his fault. He’s about to meet his dad—someone he’s only seen in a photograph before.’
She lifted up her hand as Riley opened his mouth to speak. ‘I thought about this last night. I told you I don’t have any experience with kids, but what do I think this little boy needs to hear?’ She leaned a little closer to him. ‘I think he needs to hear his dad loves him. His dad is going to look after him and stay with him. His dad is his family and you’ll always be together.’
He frowned and then his face relaxed and he shook his head. ‘I know. I know that’s exactly what I should say.’ He lifted one hand and ran it through his hair. ‘I spoke to my brother last night.’
Her stomach twisted. ‘Isn’t he in Scotland?’
Riley nodded. ‘He’s on a training exercise. There’s supposed to be radio silence. But the Colonel made some arrangements for me. Dan was blown away. Says he can’t wait to meet Finn.’
‘Good. That’s great. At least you know you’ll have the support of your family.’ Then she tilted her head to the side. Something seemed just a little off. ‘What aren’t you saying? Did you speak to your mum and dad?’
He shook his head and put one hand back on the steering wheel. ‘That’s the one thing Dan actually understands. My mum and dad will be great. They’ll be overwhelmed. They’ve always wanted a grandchild. But—’
‘But what? Don’t you need all the help you can get?’
Riley hesitated. ‘My mum...has the best of intentions. I love her. I really do. But she’ll want to take over. She’ll pick up her life and sweep right down.’
‘Ah...and you don’t want that?’
Riley smiled. ‘Maybe...eventually. But right now I need to get to know Finn. I need to spend some time with him. Like I said, I have no idea about five-year-old boys.’
April shook her head. ‘Well, that’s a strange thing to say.’
He shrugged. ‘Why?’
She lifted her hands. ‘Because you’ve been one. Your brother has been one. You know all you need to know about five-year-old boys.’
He shifted in his seat and pulled his phone from his pocket. ‘Look at this.’ He opened an app. ‘This is what I bought last night.’
She leaned forward to glance at the screen and couldn’t help the little laugh that came out. ‘A parenting guide? You bought a parenting guide?’ She started shaking her head.
‘What? I told you. I don’t know anything. Anything at all.’
She leaned back against the seat and looked over at him. Riley Callaghan was just about to change before her eyes. The doctor, the soldier and the cheeky charmer was about to take on a whole new role. She admired him for his fear. She admired him for wanting to get to know Finn without letting his mother take over.
Her mouth dried. This was a whole world that she’d never know. She’d already made the decision. She’d never have kids. Her biological clock would never be allowed to tick. When her sister had died it had almost been like watching herself in a mirror. Mallory hadn’t had the information that she had. April’s genetic testing had only been approved because of Mallory’s diagnosis and a look back through the family history. If she ignored the results she would be disrespecting her sister’s memory. She could never do that.
But this time of year was especially hard. Her heart gave a little squeeze as she thought of her parents. Before this—before any of this—her mother had always joked she would like a house filled with grandchildren once she retired. But that would never happen now.
And even though her mum and dad fully supported her decision, she knew they had a secret ache for the future life they were losing.
‘April?’
Riley’s voice pulled her from her thoughts. She gave him a soft smile and wrestled in her pocket for her own phone. She turned it around so he could see her Internet search: Top ten Christmas toys for five-year-old boys.
Riley groaned. ‘Christmas. It’s only six weeks away. I made no plans because I thought I’d be in Sierra Leone. I don’t even have a Christmas tree.’
‘It’s the middle of November. You have time.’
He was staring at her with those bright green eyes. There was silence for a few seconds. She shifted in her seat and brought her hand up to wipe her cheek. ‘What is it—do I have something on my face?’
‘Why wouldn’t you talk to me before?’
She was surprised. ‘I did. We spoke about patients all the time.’
He gave a gentle shake of his head. ‘But you wouldn’t talk to me about anything else.’ He paused and continued with his curious stare. ‘April, why did you tell me you were good at funerals?’
She could sense his wariness in asking the question. But he’d still asked. He was like this at work too. He always asked patients the difficult questions. Always spoke to the surgeons about the risks and possibilities.
This time he reached out and touched her hand. ‘April, did you lose someone? Were you married?’
She closed her eyes for a second. Riley had only been there four weeks. Word obviously hadn’t reached him. Then again, the turnover of staff at Waterloo Court could be high. Not everyone knew her background and she preferred it that way.
This wasn’t normally something she would share. But she’d just shared a major part of Riley’s life. If they’d been on the ward, she would have found a way to dodge the question. But, alone in the confines of the car, there was nowhere to hide. And she didn’t want to tell a lie.
‘I lost my sister,’ she said quietly.
The warmth of his hand was flooding through her system. ‘When?’
‘Eighteen months ago.’
‘Was it an accident?’
She licked her lips. She should have known he would press for more details. This was hard. Probably because she hadn’t really shared with anyone before. Probably because she didn’t want them to figure out the next step. ‘No. It wasn’t an accident.’ The rest of the words stuck somewhere in the back of her throat. She didn’t mention the cancer. She didn’t mention the fact they were twins. She didn’t mention the genetic tests. These were all things that Riley Callaghan didn’t need to know.
By some grace, he didn’t ask any more. He didn’t ask those details. ‘You organised the funeral?’
She nodded. ‘She was my sister. My mum and dad were devastated—we all were—but it seemed the one thing I could do that made me feel a little better, a little more in control.’ She took a deep breath and met his gaze, trying not to think that his hand was still covering hers. ‘So, I can help you with that. If I can find a few of Isabel’s friends, talk to some of them, I can make the practical arrangements for you, and you can focus on Finn.’
At the mention of Finn’s name again she sensed him tense. ‘Riley,’ she said warningly.
‘What?’
‘You’re tensing. You’re angry. You’ve been angry the whole drive up here. That’s no use. No use at all.’ She was talking to him firmly, the way she usually spoke to a patient who was just about ready to give up on their physio.
He snapped. ‘What do you expect? I’ve been cheated out of five years of my son’s life. If I’d known about Finn, I would have been there. If Isabel had been involved in an accident, at least my little boy would know he would be with someone who loved and cared about him. He doesn’t know any of that. I’m a stranger to him. She did that.’
She shook her head at him. ‘Don’t you dare.’
‘Don’t dare what?’ He was almost indignant.
She pulled her hand out from under his and pointed her finger at him. ‘Don’t you dare go in there simmering with resentment at Finn’s mother. You’re an adult. Deal with it. Deal with the fact that life doesn’t always give you the hand of cards that you want. Finn will need you to talk about his mum. If he hears resentment or anger in your voice he’ll close off to you. You’ll wreck your relationship before it even has a chance to form.’
‘I thought you didn’t know anything about kids?’
‘I don’t. But I know enough about people. And so do you. You’re a doctor. You deal with families all the time.’ She dropped her hand and let her voice soften. ‘I know you’re angry. And if you are, talk to me. Talk to your brother.’ She stared out of the window at the blue sky above them. ‘My sister and I used to do a thing.’
‘A thing?’
She nodded. ‘If either of us was angry or upset—and it happened a lot—we used to hug it out.’
‘You what?’
She shrugged. ‘Hugging. Physical contact. Scientifically proven to reduce stress and anxiety. To release tension.’
He looked amused. ‘You want me to hug it out?’
The expression on his face was incredulous. She unclipped her seat belt and opened her arms. ‘Why not? You can’t go in there all tense and angry. That doesn’t help you. That doesn’t help Finn.’ She raised her eyebrows. ‘And, just so you know, this is a one-time offer.’
His face broke into a smile as he shook his head and unclipped his own belt. ‘I must be crazy.’
‘I’ve heard you called worse.’
He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her. Riley Callaghan knew how to hug. This was no gentle, delicate hug. This was a massive pick-you-up-and-swing-you-round bear hug. Just as well they were in the car.
His emerging stubble brushed against her cheek. The waft of soap and masculinity flooded through her senses. That whole sensation of being held by a man, being comforted by someone who wrapped you in their arms, made her catch her breath. It had been so long. So long since she’d let someone this close.
She was doing this for him. Not for her.
So why did it feel like this?
He couldn’t see her face, so she closed her eyes for a few seconds. Letting herself just remember the moment. Feel the heat, the warmth and the comfort.
She’d missed this. Missed this contact more than she’d ever expected to. What she’d done with the best of intentions had turned into something that was kind of overwhelming.
His voice murmured in her ear. ‘Thanks, April.’
‘No problem,’ she replied automatically. Lost in the warm breath near her ear.
After the longest time he pulled back.
‘Okay,’ he said. ‘We’re all hugged out.’ She could see how nervous he was. ‘It’s time for me to meet my son.’
* * *
In the blink of an eye his life had changed.
He was a father. His first priority was his son.
April was a godsend.
His first sight of Finn, sitting on the edge of his bed in the foster home, ripped his heart clean out of his chest. Finn was his living image. If he’d sat his five-year-old self down next to Finn they would have looked like twins.
He’d never need a DNA test.
He’d wondered about the photo last night—if it was really a good representation of Finn. If they really looked that alike. Now he knew.
The foster carer was possibly the greatest human being he’d ever met. All preconceived ideas were swept out the window in a matter of seconds. She was used to taking kids in crisis situations and was very experienced. She even ran rings around the po-faced Ms Cummings.
She was warm and friendly. She knew Riley and Finn hadn’t met before and had already made a little list of things Finn had mentioned in the last few days. That included things from home he wanted, a list of clothing he would need, the contact details of his school and a few names of friends of his mum’s.
April stayed in the background, just accepting the lists with a gracious nod and leaving Riley to ask all the questions that he wanted.
It hadn’t taken much to notice the slight tremor in Finn’s hands. Riley had sat down on the bed next to him and spoke to his son for the first time. He’d never been so terrified in his life. Not when he’d been serving, not when he’d been retrieving military casualties and not when he’d been stranded on a battlefield with virtually no equipment. This was a whole new ball game.
Somehow it felt good that April was there to have his back. She didn’t interfere. She just stayed in the background. That hug in the car had done weird things to his mind. Her body pressed against his had sent a quick flash of a few thoughts he’d had about her in the past four weeks. The vanilla scent that had drifted up his nose had taken him to a whole other place. One where April wasn’t permanently dressed in her physiotherapist uniform.
Today was the first day he’d seen her in something else. She was wearing a dress. A dress. He hadn’t thought of April as a dress sort of girl. It was dark, covered with assorted pink butterflies, finishing just above her knees, which were covered in thick dark tights and knee-high black boots. She’d wrapped a pink scarf around her neck and was wearing a black military-style jacket.
She even looked as if she had a little make-up on. Either that or her lashes were darker than normal and highlighting those blue eyes. He’d never seen April outside the work environment and somehow it felt as if he’d been missing out.
April Henderson looked good. But then he’d always thought that.
And she’d been right. He’d needed to leave his resentment at the door. One look at Finn told him that.
Finn was charming. Polite, well mannered, and the first thing he told him was that he was going to be an astronaut. Riley smiled. He remembered having the same ambition. His little voice shook when he spoke about his mum and Riley wrapped his arm around his shoulder and pulled him close. ‘I’m sorry, Finn. I’m sorry about the accident. But I’ll look after you now. I’m your dad. I didn’t know about you before, but I know about you now.’
He’d pulled Finn up onto his lap. ‘If you want to, we’ll go and get some of your things. You can bring whatever you want.’
‘I can go back home?’
It was like staring into his own green eyes, but these little eyes were laced with uncertainty. Riley tried to keep his voice steady. ‘You’re going to stay with me now. But your mum’s house will stay as it is for now. We can collect your clothes, your toys, some photographs and anything else you want.’ He ran his hand over his son’s brown hair. Finn had the same little kink in his hair that he did. ‘I know some people who will be so happy to meet you. Your uncle Dan has just flown out to Afghanistan. But he’s already sent me a message for you. And your gran and granddad will be really happy to meet you too.’
Riley’s mouth was running away with him. He could see the tiny tremble in Finn’s hands. It made his heart ache. Should he squeeze him harder? He wasn’t quite sure.
‘I have a gran and granddad?’ Finn’s eyes widened. ‘I never had those before.’
Yes, you did. You just didn’t know it.
He resisted the temptation to say the words out loud. ‘Well, you do now.’
It wasn’t just Finn’s hands that were trembling; it was his voice too. Riley had spent his life as a doctor seeing things that affected him deep down. He’d wished a million times he could change things for the patients he worked with. But he’d never wished he could change things more than he did right now. He’d do anything to take away the hurt in Finn’s eyes.
Finn looked up shyly across the room, as if he were searching for something. Riley had the oddest sensation.
‘Who is the lady?’
Riley shifted on the bed. ‘The lady?’
‘The pretty one with the blonde hair. Is she your girlfriend?’ There was an almost hopeful edge to Finn’s voice.
Riley followed Finn’s gaze. April was talking quietly with the foster mum, scribbling down a few more notes. He wasn’t quite sure what to say.
Something washed over him as he watched the expression on Finn’s face. He was right on Riley’s knee but it was almost as if he were trying to anchor himself. Finn had spent his whole life brought up by his mum and, from the sound of it, mainly in the company of her friends. His heart squeezed. That was why he was looking at April.
He was used to being with women. Being in the company of a male from this point onwards would be a huge deal for Finn. Riley squeezed his eyes closed for the briefest of seconds as he remembered all the things his mum used to do with him and his brother as kids. Climbing into bed for cuddles, secret cake baking, her patience with homework, and the way one look could let him know that everything would be all right. It was only in the last few years he’d realised that even though she could be overpowering, how central she’d been for him and his brother. Finn had lost that. He’d lost his central point. Could Riley ever hope to become that person for Finn? Or would he always look for a mother figure in his life?
Riley’s skin was pale. ‘That’s April. She’s my...friend.’ Was she? ‘She works with me at the hospital. She’s a physiotherapist. She helps people get well again. Sometimes she has to help them walk again.’ It seemed the simplest explanation.
Finn frowned. ‘If Uncle Dan is in Afghanistan, will you have to go there too?’ His voice had a little tremble. ‘What will happen to me?’
And, just like that, the thoughts from last night filled his brain again.
He loved his job. He loved the postings. They fired his enthusiasm and ignited his passion. The last four weeks had been fine, but only because he’d known it wouldn’t be for long.
His heart twisted in his chest as he said the words he had to out loud. ‘It’s you and me, Finn. I won’t be going away again. I’ll be staying here, with you.’
He looked up. April had appeared in the doorway. He could see the expression on her face. She’d heard him in the last few weeks. Being excited about his future plans, talking about all the missions he’d been on.
The Colonel had phoned him this morning. He could stay at Waterloo Court for the next six months. He had temporary family accommodation. This was his life now. Part of him ached. But he pushed it away. He gave April an almost imperceptible nod.
He’d decided. His son would come first. Always.
* * *
She could tell he was struggling. And she felt like an intruder, watching two people who were alike in so many ways getting to know each other for the first time.
The visit to the house was the hardest. And she could relate to this. She really could. She’d had to pack up her sister’s house and give away some of her belongings. She’d heard other people talk about it in the past, but you could never really appreciate how hard something like this was until you had to do it yourself.
She fingered her necklace as they reached the house. Two intertwined gold hearts. Her parents had given Mallory and April the same thing for their twenty-first birthdays. Mallory had been buried wearing hers.
The first surprise when they reached the house was the tree.
It seemed that Isabel loved Christmas and even though it was only November the tree was already up and covered in decorations.
‘We did that last week,’ Finn said shakily.
April knelt down and looked at some of the decorations on the tree. She could see instantly they’d been made by a child’s hands.
‘Will we take some of these too? You made these, didn’t you?’
Finn nodded and pointed to a few of them, which April folded into some tissue paper that she found.
She’d done the practical things. She’d found all the clothes and packed them up. She’d helped Finn choose all the toys and books he’d wanted. Then she’d taken a deep breath and thought about all the sentimental things the foster carer had spoken to her about.
‘Photos,’ she whispered to Riley. ‘We need to find some photos for Finn to have of his mum.’
Riley knelt down in front of Finn. ‘Should we get some photographs? Pictures of you and Mum we can put in your new bedroom?’
Finn gave a nod and broke into a run. ‘This one,’ he shouted. ‘This is the one I have.’
April glanced at it and her heart gave a little flip. It was a picture of Isabel and Riley together. They were in a pub somewhere. He had his arm around her shoulders and they were looking at each other and laughing. It looked as if it could have been taken yesterday.
It was like a little spear hitting inside her.
Why? She instantly pushed the feeling aside. She’d no right to feel like that. Riley and her weren’t anything to each other. Never could be. She wasn’t at that point in her life. And he had his hands more than full for the next while.
Riley’s face had blanched. The letter had said Finn had a photograph of his dad; he must not have expected Isabel to be in it too.
April bent down and took the photo frame. ‘This is a good photo, Finn. I like it a lot. But let’s take some other photographs too. Ones of you and your mum together.’
Finn nodded and darted through to the main living room. April followed his lead and took a photograph from the wall he pointed at, and a calendar from the kitchen that had different photographs of them for every month of the year.
‘And the stick!’ said Finn. He jumped on top of a chair and found something on a shelf. ‘My mum has all our pictures on this!’
Riley gave a nod and put the USB stick in his pocket.
He bent back down. ‘Finn, do you want to take anything else?’
Finn hesitated. There was clearly something in his mind.
A wave of something came over April. She’d packed up Finn’s bedding to take with him. But after her sister had died, when she’d been packing up the house, she’d collapsed onto the bed at some point and been overwhelmed by the familiar scent from her sister’s pillow. She’d sobbed for hours.
She brushed her hand against Riley’s. ‘I think I know,’ she whispered.
She reached out with her other hand and touched Finn’s head. ‘Should we take some other things of your mum’s? How about her pillow, or a blanket that she used? Is there a jumper she loved? Do you want to take something like that?’
Riley squeezed her hand. He must know what this was doing to her. But his look was pure gratitude.
Finn sniffed. So April took his hand and gathered up the things he showed her. He buried his face in his mother’s pillow for a few seconds and let out a sob. She couldn’t help herself. She gathered the little boy into her arms and just held him. ‘I know, honey. I know how hard this is. I’m right here with you. And so is your dad.’
The little body crumpled against hers and a tear slid down her cheek.
This wasn’t about her. This wasn’t about the family of her own that she’d never have. This was about a little boy who was desperately sad. But somehow it felt about both.
Riley seemed choked too. They gathered up the rest of the belongings and he walked Finn out to the car.
‘Wait,’ she said. Something had just struck her. She pulled out her phone. ‘Let’s get a picture of the two of you together.’
Finn looked up at his dad. ‘Can we?’
Riley seemed surprised at the question. He knelt down and wrapped his arm around Finn’s shoulder. ‘Absolutely. I’d love a picture of us both together.’
She knew she should capture it. A first picture of father and son together. But the smile Riley plastered on his face didn’t quite reach his eyes. They were still full of worry. As for Finn? He just looked a little nervous. As if he didn’t quite know what would come next.
She snapped a few. ‘Perfect,’ she said.
Riley strapped Finn into the car. As she walked around to her side of the car, he pulled her hand and stopped her, spinning her around to face him.
‘April, I just wanted to say something.’
Her heartbeat quickened. It was starting to get dark. Collecting the things had taken a little longer than expected. It had been such a big day. One she’d never expected to be part of.
Today was a Saturday. She might have gone into work for a few hours—even though she wasn’t on duty. She’d planned on working with Jake today, but when she’d phoned and left a message for him he’d been absolutely fine. The only other thing she would have done was pick up a few things for dinner.
As it was cold she might even have stayed in her pyjamas all day and watched Christmas movies on TV. Part of her knew that if life had gone as planned, she would probably have had a little pang about not going to Riley’s drinks last night. She would have had a twinge of regret that she wouldn’t see him again. But part of that would have been reassuring.
It would have left her clear to lock away the attraction she’d been trying to ignore for the last four weeks. She could have parcelled it up in a box like a Christmas present and stored it away in a cupboard. That would have been so much simpler than any of this.
Before she had time to think, Riley slid his hand behind her waist and pulled her towards him, resting his forehead against hers.
It was so up close and personal. They were at the back of the car. Finn couldn’t see them. The temperature had dropped; their warm breath was visible in the cold air.
A wave of emotions swept through her. She’d seen a whole other side of Riley Callaghan today. There had already been a glimmer of attraction. Now, she’d seen him at his most exposed. She’d been there when he’d got the news about Finn, then met his child for the first time. It felt too big. Too much. More than she could handle right now.
Finn was adorable. He pulled at every heartstring she had. In a way she knew that she’d picked up some things that Riley might have missed. Riley would be a good father; he just had to get to know his little boy first.
Her heart flipped over. That parent relationship. The one she’d never have. The one she’d never even allowed herself to think about since she’d made her decision. For a few seconds today she’d felt...something. Even if it was only tiny. That urge to reach out to help a child in need. She pressed her lips together and tried to push all the emotions away.
She had to think about the surgery. She had to think about preparing herself. She didn’t need her heart tangled up in this mess. She had to keep it somewhere safe.
She hadn’t moved. His head was still pressed against hers.
‘Thank you,’ he whispered. ‘Thank you for coming here with me today.’
She gulped and pulled back.
‘You’re a colleague. No problem.’ Her hand brushed against a piece of paper she’d pushed into her pocket. ‘I think it’s best if you and Finn have some time to yourselves now. I’ve got a couple of numbers of friends from Isabel’s phone book. I’ll talk to them to get an idea of what she would have liked. They might want to help with the arrangements.’
A frown furrowed Riley’s brow. ‘That would be great, thank you.’ The words were pleasant but the look on his face told her something different. It was almost as if she’d just abandoned him on a cross-country hike with no provisions.
And he didn’t say another word until he dropped her back at her house.
CHAPTER THREE (#u2e8fe223-0b22-52d1-86d6-797fcf9d9518)
THE THING ABOUT life throwing you a curveball meant that you didn’t always get things right. Finn was the easiest and best part of it all. Riley had heard children were resilient and Finn was still hesitant around him.
But they’d set up his room the way he wanted, hung up his clothes and established a little routine. When he’d heard Finn crying in bed one night, he’d just gone in, wrapped his arms around him and lay with him until he stopped.
He now knew that Finn hated peas, liked chicken in all forms, was also partial to sausages and tomato ketchup, and loved a kids’ TV show with spacemen. He had seven DVDs of it and Riley had watched them all with him.
The whirlwind that was Riley’s mother was a whole other matter. Thank goodness he hadn’t seen her in the flesh when he’d told her about Finn. He was pretty sure she’d had a heart attack at the other end of the phone. Of course she was driving right down. She wanted to meet her grandchild straight away. She’d asked a million questions that Riley didn’t know the answers to.
Eventually he’d told her a white lie. He told her that the social worker had recommended that he and Finn spend the first week together on their own to get used to each other. Not to overwhelm him with things. In fact, the social worker had recommended routine as soon as possible. So he’d registered Finn at school and taken him in to say hello. The headmistress had been great, suggesting he bring Finn in for a few hours in the first instance to let him find his feet.
Riley had finally managed to placate his mother by sending the picture that April had taken of them both together. She’d cried at that point. But at least it had given him some time.
What he couldn’t work out right now was how to be around April.
Since they’d picked up Finn together, she’d retreated right into herself again. She’d spoken to him about a few funeral arrangements she’d helped put together after talking to Isabel’s friends. She’d asked him to speak to Finn about a few things too. But that was it.
No closeness. No real glimmer of friendship.
Maybe it was his fault? If she’d planned her sister’s funeral, had she had to deal with other things too? Maybe empty her house, or deal with all her financial affairs. She’d seemed so knowledgeable in Isabel’s house—a place he’d felt entirely uncomfortable. She’d seemed to know exactly what Finn needed—even though she said she had no more experience of children than he had. The visit might have revived memories for her that he hadn’t considered. Was it any wonder she was keeping her distance?
The rest of the staff had been great. They’d been surprised he was still there. But the news had spread quickly, and everyone was supportive.
Finn had asked to stay at school today until lunchtime. That meant he had three hours. Hours best spent in the hospital.
He’d barely got across the doorway before someone gave him a shout. April.
‘Dr Callaghan? Can you come and assess Robert Black for me, please?’ He could see the concern on her face straight away.
He nodded and walked over quickly. Robert had been caught in an explosion. His spinal injury was severe and he was currently in neurogenic shock. This was always a crucial time for patients. Neurogenic shock happened in almost half of patients with a spinal injury above T6 in the first twenty-four hours and didn’t go away for between one to three weeks. Patients in neurogenic shock needed continual assessment of their circulation, senses and breathing abilities. Neurogenic shock could lead to organ failure.
Robert Black’s blood pressure was low, his heart rate bradycardic. His limbs were flaccid, his skin warm and flushed due to the vasodilation caused by the neurogenic shock.
Riley signalled to the nurse. ‘Connie, can you get me some atropine?’
She nodded and handed him a vial from the emergency trolley. April moved automatically to the head of the bed to keep assessing Robert’s breathing. The staff here were used to emergencies and good at recognising the symptoms.
Riley kept his voice calm and even as he flushed the atropine through the Venflon in Robert’s arm. ‘Robert, I’m just giving you something to speed up your heart rate a little. I’m also going to give you something to help your blood pressure.’
He nodded at Connie again. ‘Get me some dopamine.’ He turned to April. ‘Can you put some oxygen on for me, please?’
April nodded and slipped the mask over Robert’s face, lowering her head to the bed to monitor the rise and fall of his chest and keeping her eyes on the numbers on the oximeter.
Teamwork was crucial. Neurogenic shock was difficult. It was different from spinal shock or the most common type of shock with injuries—hypovolemic—and had to be treated differently. Often patients could have a respiratory arrest.
Right on cue, April waved her hand. ‘Can we call an anaesthetist?’
‘No time,’ said Riley as he finished administering the dopamine and moved to the head of the bed. It only took a few seconds to tilt Robert’s head back, using the laryngoscope to insert an endotracheal tube.
He glanced towards the doorway. ‘We need to transfer him to high dependency. Does anyone know if they have a bed?’
April took his cue and ran over to the phone. Riley kept bagging the patient. At this stage, Robert needed to be ventilated. He could only pray this was a temporary setback.
Robert’s regular doctor appeared at the door. His eyes widened. ‘What the—?’
He stopped himself and held open the ward doors. ‘High dependency?’
April put the phone down and nodded. ‘They’ll be waiting.’
He moved over and grabbed a side of the bed. Between the other doctor, April and the nurse, the transfer was smooth. Riley concentrated on the airway, bagging the whole way, then setting up the ventilators and pressures when they arrived.
‘Need anything else?’ he asked his colleague.
The doctor shook his head. ‘I take it he had just had a rapid deterioration?’
Riley nodded. ‘April was working with him. She picked up on it straight away.’
‘Thank goodness. This could have been a disaster.’
Riley gave a thoughtful nod and stared back towards the door. April had stopped in the corridor. He gave a brief smile. ‘Give me a page if you need any help.’
The other doctor nodded and he headed out into the corridor.
April was dressed in her usual attire of the physios, white tunic and navy trousers, with her hair pulled back in a ponytail. She had her eyes closed and was resting her head and body against the wall.
He touched her arm and her eyes jerked open. ‘April, are you okay?’
Their eyes connected for a few moments. Hers were bluer than ever. Maybe it was the bright hospital lights. Or maybe it was the fact he was noticing so much more about her. April had always looked away quickly before, but this time she didn’t. This time it felt as if there was more to their gaze.
But she pulled her arm away. ‘Of course, I’m fine.’ She gave her head a little shake. ‘I just got a fright when Robert deteriorated so quickly.’
He nodded. As a doctor, he was used to dealing with emergencies, but other staff didn’t have the same exposure as he did. Quite often they did a debrief after things like this.

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