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The Sharpest Edge
Stephanie Rowe
ON THE EDGE OF DANGERIt was the fight of Kim Collins's life and she had the scars to prove it. Even with prison bars between her and her assailant, the horror of his attack was crystal clear. Released on parole, his vow for revenge spurred her to put distance between them.Taking refuge three thousand miles away, she thought the threat was gone. However, when too many unexplained "accidents" started to occur around her, Kim had no choice but to put herself in the hands of Sean Templeton–the fiancé she once jilted. As a cop, he was sworn to protect her, keep her safe. Yet with all the old emotions still between them, did Sean present a bigger threat…to her heart?



Something glittered at her in the middle of the bed. Something small and shiny.
Kim began to tremble. Slowly this time, she pulled the sheets and mattress pad back, the blood from her hand leaving bright red streaks on the flowered cotton.
Now she could see it.
The tip of a shiny metal blade, sticking up from her mattress. Pointed and sharp, the rest of the knife was hidden from view, buried deep inside the mattress.
But she didn’t have to look. She knew what the knife would look like. She knew the blade would match the scars on her thigh.
She dropped to her knees, staring at the steel tip. Then she yanked the cell phone off her waistband, dialed Sean’s number, hit send and grabbed the gun off the nightstand.
She would be a victim no longer.

The Sharpest Edge
Stephanie Rowe

www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
For Amanda, who makes our family better by joining it.

Acknowledgments:
Thanks, as always, to my wonderful agent, Michelle Grajkowski, for always encouraging me to spread my wings and believing in my ability to pull off the impossible. And to my talented editor, Wanda Ottewell, for refusing to give up on me. And to JR, for believing in me every step of the way. And a special thanks to my brother, Ben, for freaking out at Squam Lake that night, thinking there was a bear on the roof. You inspire me! Here’s to many more such memories at the new abode. And to my parents: every success I have today is because of the foundation you gave me.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
A lifelong reader of romance, Golden Heart winner Stephanie Rowe wrote her first novel when she was ten, and sold her first book twenty-three years later. After experimenting with a legal career, she decided wearing suits wasn’t her style and opted for a more fulfilling career entertaining herself and others with stories of romance, humor and, of course, true love. She currently shares her household with two dogs, two cats and her own hero. When not glued to the computer or avoiding housework, she can be found on the tennis court, reading, or inviting herself over to her mom’s house for dinner. You can reach her at www.stephanierowe.com.

CAST OF CHARACTERS
Kim Collins—Ten years ago, to save herself, she left the man she loved. Will his reappearance in her life finally destroy her?
Sean Templeton—A cop who has returned home, determined to start a new life free from the pain of his past.
Jimmy Ramsey—A man with one thing on his mind: payback.
Max Collins—Will he awake from his coma, and what secrets will he reveal if he does?
Helen Collins—She will do anything to save the man she loves.
Allan Haywood—How far will he go to protect Kim?
Didi Smith—Will her access to inside information be enough to save others, or will it make her a victim in this deadly game?
Chief Vega—Will his loyalty to his staff make him blind to the real threat?
Tom Payton—Is the marina assistant’s innocent persona legit?
Will Ambrose— A front-desk attendant who may not be what he seems.
Garth McKeen—A cop with either an agenda or not enough experience. Which is it?
Eddie—Does the old harbormaster know more than he should?

Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty

Chapter One
I will come for you.
Kim Collins bolted upright in bed, adrenaline spiking. What was that? A whisper in the wind? Or her imagination? A premonition of a future soon to be hers? The promise of a man whose only goal was to kill her?
I will come for you.
Her heart pounded in her chest, filled her ears, bruised her ribs.
He was here. She knew it.
She frantically searched the dark bedroom, her gaze darting back and forth, trying to cover every inch at once. She dipped into the moon’s eerie shadows, double-checking the location of each item. Nothing amiss. Even her suitcase still lay open on the floor, half-unpacked after her arrival from California two days ago. All was quiet.
Except the six-inch scar on her thigh.
It throbbed with pain. Pulsed with fear. Ached with ugly reminders.
But the room was silent. The house was still.
Relax, Kim. It’s another nightmare. Nothing in the room had moved since she’d gone to bed. See? She was imagining things.
It was nothing but a dream.
Or, rather, a nightmare.
Kim pushed her hair off her face, her fingers twisting in the wet strands, damp from the humidity and the fear. The sweat of terror. Too real. Too often. And now…she was having those dreams almost every night.
The knife.
The blood.
Her scream.
The overwhelming terror of impending death.
And that sickening smile he’d given her when they’d escorted him out of the courtroom for his six-month stay in prison, his thin lips forming his promise: I will come for you.
Yesterday, she’d gotten the call from the Los Angeles County District Attorney’s Office. Jimmy Ramsey was out on parole. She’d known he would be getting out. She’d been preparing for it by taking a leave of absence so she could get out of town, but nothing had prepared her for the shock of knowing he’d been released. Free to pursue her. And he was coming for her. She knew it.
“Stop it!” She hugged her pillow to her chest. He was probably three thousand miles away, stalking her in L.A., clueless that she was hidden away in the Maine woods, right? Her best friend, Alan Haywood, was watching her apartment and he’d call her as soon as Jimmy was spotted.
Everything was under control.
Besides, Jimmy wouldn’t travel across the country just to stalk her.
No, but he’d travel that far to kill her.
If he realized she wasn’t in L.A., he might remember hearing about the family resort in Maine and decide to see if she was out here. He’d pull out his credit card, mosey on over to the airport, grab a last-minute ticket and then he’d be here…
Argh! She closed her eyes and pressed her palms to her eyelids, trying to expel the thought from her head. Deep breaths. Inhale for five counts. Exhale for eight counts.
A distinct thump sounded above her head and she lurched off the bed. She landed on her feet, her fists balled and her breath heaving, dread paralyzing her for an instant. Then she shook it off and raced for the open windows. She yanked them shut, locked them and jumped back. Her hands shook, her skull ached where Jimmy had smashed it and her legs threatened to give out.
The scrabbling on the roof continued. Little thuds and scratches, faster now.
Dammit. She wasn’t ready to die. She hadn’t been before and she wasn’t now.
She grabbed the phone, but her fingers were shaking too much to hold on to it. It clattered to the floor. She dove for the handset and dialed 911. The operator answered, her calm, detached voice so wrong for the intensity of the situation.
“1370 Birch Road. There’s an intruder! Please send someone. Hurry!”
Kim jumped away as the wall nearest her began to shake. He was climbing down the side of her house! She heard a thud on the ground and fresh panic surged over her. Was he planning to break a window and come in the ground floor?
“There’s an officer in the area. He should be there in about three minutes.”
“Thanks.” Kim hung up just as the operator was telling her to stay on the line. As if that would help if Jimmy came through her window wielding a knife. Stay away from me or this operator will kill you. Uh-huh. Yeah, that’d work.
The phone rang and she jumped.
The operator calling back?
Or was it Jimmy phoning from her front step? Laughing at her fear? Mocking her? Counting down the seconds she had left to live? No, thanks.
She let it ring.
The police would be there in three minutes.
That was all the time she needed to buy herself.
She kicked her bedroom door shut.
No lock.
A scrambling noise from outdoors spurred her into motion. She ran to the end of her dresser, wedged her back against it and pushed with all the strength her trembling limbs could provide. With a protesting shriek that made her own hackles rise, the bureau screeched its way across the wood floor, a mournful sound that made cold fingers of fear close around her spine.
The creepy wail didn’t end until she had the dresser jammed safely in front of the door. The taut silence was barely a respite as she stepped back to inspect her work.
Not enough. He could still get through.
She ducked into the attached bathroom, grabbed the lid off the back of the toilet and hoisted it over her shoulder, taking up a post by the side of the door. If he stuck his head in there, she’d brain him with the porcelain. It wasn’t a gun, but it was heavy and hard. She wasn’t going down without a fight.
Kim strained, listening for the sound of breaking glass or splintering wood. Or the ominous thud of footsteps on the stairs.
Silence. Not even a noise from the side of the house anymore. She took a deep breath. Maybe it hadn’t been Jimmy. Maybe it was a really fat raccoon. Or even a bear.
Or maybe she was deluding herself right now. Maybe she’d been yards away from the man who wanted her dead.
But the silence stretched. Even if it had been him, maybe he was gone.
But what did it matter if Jimmy had left tonight? If it had been Jimmy on her roof, if he had found her…he’d be back again.
And again.
Until he was through with her.
So what was she supposed to do?
Be like Cheryl, her beloved sister, who had changed her name and disappeared? If Kim ran, she would endanger Cheryl as well as herself because her sister was safe only so long as Jimmy pursued Kim. Though after tonight, she really wasn’t enjoying this plan too much, either.
Her goal had been to set him up to violate his parole, either by getting caught stalking her apartment or by following her out of state. Of course, the original plan had been to take a short leave of absence and set herself up in a very secure hotel, one that he’d never be able to penetrate, but her dad’s accident had changed all that. Now she was still acting as bait, but in a remote and unprotected location.
Not good.
Bright lights glared and her room began flashing in blue, like a disco invading rural Maine.
The police.
Kim snuck over to the window, peering cautiously through the corner of the glass. A cruiser was sitting in her driveway and there was a uniformed officer walking up the front steps toward her door.
For now, she was safe.
But she was certain the danger was only beginning.
SHE FLUNG THE front door open, where a cop stood in the shadows. She’d made it. Oh, God. She’d made it. She wasn’t going to die tonight. Her knees suddenly gave way and she went down.
“Whoa!” The man jumped out of the shadows and grabbed her, pulling her back to her feet. “You okay?”
Something caught in Kim’s chest at that voice. That husky timbre… She looked up, then felt her world spin into a black abyss. “Sean?”
His grip tightened on her arms, and he pulled her into the light. “Kim?”
It was him. His eyes were tired, his face more bony and lined, his hair shorter than it had been ten years ago, but it was him. “Sean!” She threw her arms around him. “I thought you were dead!” He smelled the same as always. That musky scent that had made a sixteen-year-old girl fall in love, and it seized her gut and tugged.
For an instant, his arms tightened and he crushed her against him and it was as if the past ten years had never happened. They were both eighteen again and the world hadn’t betrayed them.
Then he pulled back and set her to the side and a rift of cold air settled in her chest. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
Wrong? She blinked. Wrong was the cold shadow in his eyes, the rigid set to his jaw that said he wanted nothing to do with her anymore. But what could she expect? It was what she’d wished for.
“Kim? You called the cops?”
Sweat broke out on her forehead again and she hugged herself. “He’s going to kill me.” Her voice was no more than a whisper, but Sean must have heard her because the lines on his face deepened and his expression became harsher.
“What are you talking about?” His hand went to his gun. His eyes became vigilant. He looked all cop, and something else. Something more. Someone who knew how to handle a weapon and who thrived on the threat of death.
Where was the gangly kid she’d almost married? The boy whose only goal in life had been to run the Loon’s Nest alongside her parents? Gone, apparently, replaced by a hard man she didn’t even know.
A man who was here to protect her from Jimmy.
“Who’s going to kill you?” He shifted her slightly, putting himself between her and the doorway, his gaze boring deep into the interior of the house. Searching for the threat.
“Jimmy Ramsey.” Just saying his name made her legs start to shake again.
“Who’s he? Is he inside?”
She was freezing, even though it was a hot, muggy night. Guess fear of death would do that to a person. “I heard him outside.”
“Outside?” Sean grabbed her, shoved her inside the house and slammed the door shut behind them. “Who? Your husband?”
Was it her imagination or did he stumble over that word? She shook her head and clutched her arms to her chest, the old T-shirt hanging loosely off her. “My sister’s ex-husband.”
“Cheryl’s husband?” He frowned. “What’s going on?”
She pressed her back against the door, afraid of the house and its cavernous interior with so many hiding places. “He was in prison and he got out and I heard something on the roof and then he climbed down the side of the building and then you came and I don’t know if he’s still here or…”
Something flickered in his eyes, but he offered no comforting words. Not as he would have ten years ago. “Lock yourself in the bathroom while I check things out.” He opened the powder room door, old instincts apparently directing him to the right place without a second thought. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
She grabbed his arm before he could get away. “Be careful. He’s a cop.”
Sean stopped, surprise flickering on his face. “A cop?”
She nodded. “He’ll kill you.”
“No chance.” He disengaged her grip and guided her into the room, then pulled the door shut. “Lock it.”
His footsteps didn’t take him away until she’d engaged the lock with an audible click.
And then, all she could do was wait.
KIM LEANED AGAINST the door, trying to catch her breath. Her chest was so tight, her hands cold, her forehead hot.
Sean. He was here. At her house. Alive.
And Jimmy was here. At her house. And he wanted her dead.
She groaned and slid down the door to the floor. Her hands were shaking so badly she dropped them to the tiles and let her head flop back against the wood.
What was Sean doing in town? She never would have agreed to come back if she’d known he was around. Even for her sister, she couldn’t have done it. Cheryl had begged her to return to Maine when they’d found out about their dad’s accident because Cheryl was still trapped in hiding and couldn’t come home. For her sister, Kim could endure anything.
Except Sean.
And Jimmy again.
She had no strength left to cope with either of them, not even for Cheryl. She was exhausted, so unbearably tired.
A knock on the door sent her leaping to her feet. Kim smashed herself up against the opposite wall. Was it Sean, or had Jimmy killed Sean? What if Jimmy had come back to finish her off at a leisurely pace?
“It’s me. Open up.”
She nearly collapsed with relief at Sean’s voice. “Is it safe?”
“Yeah.”
Kim inched toward the door and flicked the lock, but the doorknob turned before she could open it. Sean stuck his head into the room, his dark eyebrows knitting when he saw her. She had no doubt that he’d be able to see through her facade and know that she was terrified. For an instant, his face softened and she thought he was going to give her the reassurance she craved, but then his expression hardened. “Come on out. We need to talk.”
An agonizing need to have his arms around her again jolted her into moving toward him, but he turned away before she could reach him.
Nothing. No comfort. No special look. No touch of support, even though he had to know how much she needed it. Regret made her energy sag. Had she done that to him? Changed him from a sweet, doting guy into someone who wouldn’t even touch her arm in comfort? She couldn’t ask. Couldn’t apologize. Where would she start after a decade of silence? Should she try?
He held the door for her and stepped back when she reached him, his eyes cold and distant. Pushing her away. He didn’t want to hear about their past. She could read it in the tight set to his mouth, the way he held his arm so she couldn’t brush against it.
They were strangers now.
Strangers who had to discuss the man who’d almost killed her once and wouldn’t let her escape next time.

Chapter Two
Sean grabbed a soda from the fridge, pulled out a chair with his foot and sat down at the kitchen table. “Talk.”
Talk. God, there were so many things to discuss. And nothing to say.
Nothing except for Jimmy.
Kim sat down across from Sean and tried not to think about how much she wanted him to hold her. Just for a minute, so she could feel secure and loved and warm. Which was stupid. That was the reason she hadn’t wanted to come back. Falling into the trap of the familiar and the safe already, just like her mom had warned her.
A lump came to her throat at the thought of Joyce Collins, as it always did.
Sean fixed his gaze on her. “Jimmy Ramsey. A cop who wants to kill you. Tell me.”
Right. She could focus. She could think. With Sean sitting across from her, his gun on his hip, she wasn’t scared.
For the first time in eighteen months, she wasn’t afraid.
Exhausted to the point of numbness. Freaking out to be sitting across from the man she’d been thirty minutes from marrying. Saddened by the chasm between them and the fact that she’d caused it. But not fearing for her life. It was a start.
“Jimmy is…or was…a cop in L.A. Cheryl met him when he was working at one of the events I brought her to.” What a night that had been. Cheryl had been so excited at the chance to meet a Hollywood star, yet from the moment she’d seen Jimmy, she’d cared about nothing else. “He’s incredibly good-looking, and she was hooked immediately.”
He pulled out a notepad and jotted something down. “Keep going.”
His index finger on his left hand was crooked now, as if it had been broken and healed wrong. What had his life been like in the ten years since she’d left?
“Kim.” His voice was devoid of warmth or familiarity. He was nothing but a cop to her anymore.
As it should be. As she’d wanted. So why did she feel as though a black cloak had suddenly been wrapped around her soul? “Jimmy pursued Cheryl hard, and they were married two months after they met.”
“Two months? That’s not like Cheryl.”
“He was manipulating her, but I couldn’t talk her out of it.” How she’d tried. “It nearly ruined our relationship.” After more than six years of estrangement between her and Cheryl, she’d been too afraid to risk their tentative new friendship by lobbying against the marriage. “So I backed off.” What an awful, horrible mistake that had been.
“And then?” His eyes were intent on hers, but they were devoid of emotion. Empty of warmth. She didn’t recognize them.
She sighed. “Then Jimmy started beating Cheryl up.”
“Damn.”
Exactly how she’d felt the first time she’d seen the bruises on Cheryl’s arm. “After he put her in the emergency room, I talked her into leaving him. The women’s shelter slipped her out of the hospital before he even knew what happened.”
His pen was motionless, suspended above the paper with the stillness of death. Oh, nice analogy. How about the stillness of a snowman on a subzero day? That was much cheerier. No death analogies needed.
“And then he came after you?”
Kim shrugged, but she couldn’t stop the shiver that raced through her body. “He thought he could convince me to tell him where she’d gone.” Plus, he’d been pissed. Really, really pissed.
He set the pen down and leaned forward, his voice no longer quite as detached and clinical as before. “How did he try to persuade you?”
It took two deep breaths and supreme effort to block the image from her mind before she could answer. “A knife.”
He cursed, then shoved back his chair and yanked her to her feet. “Let me see the scars.” His eyes were no longer empty of emotion. They were hot and angry, and something buried deep inside her quivered in recognition of his passion.
She tried to pull away. “Forget it. It’s over.”
“I have to know what I’m dealing with.” But he released her arm. “If he was on your roof, it’s not over.”
Oh, God. Right. It wasn’t over. “So you do think…you think he was here?” Her voice sounded so weak and pathetic she hated herself. Why couldn’t Sean tell her that it had been some four-legged creature and that she’d been a paranoid fool? She lifted her chin and cleared her throat. She would not be Jimmy’s victim anymore. “Did you find tracks?”
Sean hesitated. “It could have been an animal. There are indications of a bear around the house and on the deck near the grill.”
“But you’re not sure?” Why couldn’t he be certain? Why couldn’t he say Jimmy had never been near the house? Dammit. Even a bear with rabies would be better than Jimmy.
“No, I’m not sure.” He cracked his jaw, the pop loud in the silent house. He still hadn’t regained his aloofness, his fingers twitching restlessly by his sides. “So do you have scars or not?”
She shrugged and didn’t answer. Her scars were her own private hell, thank you very much.
He slammed his fist into a cabinet as he turned away, leaving a raw dent in the wood from the high-school class ring he still wore on his finger. He rested his hands on the counter and dropped his head. She could see his shoulders rise and fall with his breath. Guess he figured out the answer to his question on his own. Bully for him.
After a long moment, he turned toward her. His face was reserved again, though he was struggling to contain the emotion rumbling in his eyes. “You didn’t tell him where Cheryl was, did you?” His tone assumed the answer she gave him.
“No. I didn’t.”
He nodded and she thought she saw a flash of respect cross his features. “Did he try to kill you?”
She swallowed. “Yes.” It was when she knew he was going to kill her that she realized she would never be like her mother and accept death as the easy answer. It was sort of difficult to get excited about finding the will to live, given the circumstances at the time, but a part of her was grateful that she’d discovered her strength.
A muscle ticked in his neck, but the rest of him was immobile. “Prison?”
“I testified against him. I put him away.”
Sean swore again and she shoved her trembling hands under her legs. How much did she not want to relive this nightmare? But she had to. She had to make sure that Sean understood the threat. Not Sean specifically, but the police in general. Because Sean wasn’t hers anymore. She’d made sure of that when she left. Apparently, she’d done a damn good job of it, too. Wasn’t she talented? Hah. She didn’t feel so good about her long-ago actions right now. All the more reason to get out of town and back to L.A. as soon as possible. “He got out on bail right away, and for the twelve months before the trial, he followed me around. Called me. Sent me e-mails. Befriended the guards in my building.”
Her mouth was too dry to swallow and she took Sean’s soda and drank from it. “His strategy was to scare me. Make me wonder when he would come back to kill me. It gave him power to know I was looking over my shoulder. To realize I was afraid to answer the phone at night or walk to my car after work.” She flexed her hands, making fists. “He got only six months in jail because of all the cops who testified as character witnesses. When they led him out of the courtroom, he looked right at me and mouthed the words ‘I will come for you.’” She raised her gaze to Sean. “He got out on parole yesterday.”
Deep terror settled in her bones and she knew Sean saw it by the anger vibrating in his eyes. Anger on her behalf? A tremble of something alive sparked inside her, but he averted his face and gazed out at the dark lake. “Where can you go tonight?”
Go? “What are you talking about?”
“If he’s back, you can’t stay here.” He gestured around the house. “Look at all these windows and doors. No alarm. You won’t be safe.”
She glanced at the windows and a cold chill settled in her belly at the thought that Jimmy could be sitting a few yards away, watching her while he hid in the darkness. “Where am I supposed to go?”
“A hotel? A friend’s?” As if he didn’t care. Anywhere that would take her off his worry list.
And suddenly, she felt outrage roil up inside of her. She’d been quaking in fear for the past eighteen months. She’d given up the life she loved and traveled across the country to escape Jimmy, braving the memories of her childhood home, and now he was going to steal this last bit of independence from her by making her move into a hotel? Dammit! It was enough!
She smacked her palms on the table and glared at Sean. “I’m not running away again. I’m tired of changing my life because I’m so afraid. He’s been manipulating me for months and I’ve had it!” She sat straighter now, empowered by Sean’s presence and the fact that he’d found no signs of attempted forced entry or human footprints. “He probably wasn’t even here, or if he was, he had no intention of hurting me. He’s trying to twist my mind again and I’m sick of it!”
“Fine. Be sick of it. But you’re not staying here. Not until you get an alarm.” He frowned. “What about Max’s place? Why don’t you stay there?”
Stay at her dad’s house? Something twisted inside her. Something that felt like grief but was actually hate. She could tell the difference and it was hatred she felt for her father. “You didn’t hear about my dad?”
The lines around his mouth tightened. “I know about Max. I’ve been to see him in the hospital five times. I thought you could stay with Helen and the kids.”
“Stay with his wife? Are you kidding?” No way. No way. No way. Kim might have never met Helen, but she despised her. When Helen had married Kim’s dad three weeks after Joyce was buried, Helen lost the right to a fair trial. Guilty by association.
Disgust and betrayal snapped in Sean’s face. “You haven’t changed, have you? Destroyed everything ten years ago and you’re still doing it.”
What? He was blaming her? “I didn’t destroy anything. Max did.” The man didn’t even deserve to be called her father anymore. Max was impersonal and fitting.
Sean’s upper lip curled in disdain. “Max did nothing wrong.” Then he narrowed his eyes. “No one at the hospital mentioned you were in town. You haven’t even been to see him, have you?” The accusation was deep in his voice and she flinched.
Guilt flared up and she threw it back on him. “I just got here a couple days ago, so back off.” The excuse sounded weak, even to her. But what was she supposed to do? Admit how guilty she felt that she hadn’t rushed over there to get answers for Cheryl? So what if Kim didn’t want to see her dad? She had planned to check with the doctors without going to the hospital, but they wouldn’t give out information over the phone, even though she’d grown up here and should fall under the category of “trusted local.” She hadn’t been able to bring herself to meet with the doctors in person. What if Helen and her kids were at the hospital? What if Max woke up while Kim was in his room? What if she simply couldn’t handle the memories?
Dammit. She had to get over it. Go over to the hospital. Talk to the doctors. Cheryl deserved information.
“So you haven’t visited him.” He leaned back and shook his head in disgust. “What’s wrong with you? Your family used to be so close and now you won’t go see your own dad while he’s in a coma?”
Naked anguish wrenched in her chest. Okay, that wasn’t simple hatred. Definitely some emotional baggage in there. Crud. Being back in town was ripping through her defenses. “Don’t judge me.” Yeah, so what if she’d always been the first to hug her parents and used to drag Sean to Sunday dinner with the family every weekend? That was long gone now.
“Don’t judge you? You, the woman who took off on me without so much as a note. The woman who didn’t come back for her own mother’s funeral. You don’t even care that your dad’s in a coma. What the hell have you become?”
Emotions bubbled and raged inside her and she knew she would explode. Too much to cope with. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She refused to care enough to explode. This wasn’t her life anymore. After a moment, she opened her eyes. “I think you should leave now.” She strengthened her trembling voice by giving Sean a hard stare.
“I agree.” He shoved back his chair and stood. “Lock your doors.” His jaw flexed and a tendon bulged in his neck. “I’ll make sure there’s a drive-by every hour, but I doubt he’ll come back tonight.”
“Fine.” She followed him to the door. “Assign someone else to this case.”
“Believe me, I’m going to try.”
“Good.” That was what she wanted: Sean not in her house or her life or her dreams. Sean, with his cold, judging eyes. Sean, who was her history, not her present. “See you around.”
He shut the door behind him with extra force and she snapped the locks shut on her past.
KIM AWOKE WITH a start when she heard someone holler her name. Her heart leaping, she lurched to her feet and cracked her head against the bathroom sink. Oy, that hurt.
She pressed her hand to her throbbing skull. The bathroom had been the safest place in the house, with no windows and a good lock on the door, so that’s where she’d slept after Sean had left. Along with all the fireplace implements. Wrought iron, heavy and sharp, she’d lined them up next to her, ready for Jimmy.
Who had never come.
Someone shouted her name again and she glanced at her watch. Almost nine in the morning.
Daylight was good.
She stretched, feeling increasingly foolish as she recalled last night’s fiasco. How stupid had she been last night? As if Jimmy had made it all the way across the country to find her. If he really was after her, he’d spend time lurking around her work and her apartment in L.A. trying to locate her. It would take him a while to figure out that she wasn’t there. By that time, she’d have heard from Alan that Jimmy was stalking her and the restraining order would land Jimmy back in prison. Then she could return and all would be good.
Darkness always made the nightmares worse. You’d think she’d learn to control them. But no, she hadn’t and, thanks to her overactive imagination, she’d ended up dragging Sean to her house. All because Jimmy had managed to mess up her brain at the same time that he’d shoved that knife into her thigh. Throw in the guilt from avoiding the hospital when Cheryl was waiting for an update on their dad and it had made Kim even more of an emotional disaster, freaking out at the slightest sound.
Screw Jimmy. She was never going to be his victim again—not physically, not emotionally.
This morning, she was going to call the police station and tell Sean that the whole thing was a false alarm and to forget it. Because Jimmy wasn’t in Maine. At worst, he was still in L.A., stalking her empty apartment.
She would not live in terror anymore, and the first step was to admit that her fears were irrational.
The doorbell rang, and she almost smiled at the sound. How weird to hear that familiar tune after ten years. Last night, she’d been so obsessed with being murdered she hadn’t even noticed it, but today it struck her.
She kicked the fireplace implements aside and stepped into the hall. No one jumped out at her, but she still peered through the window before opening the front door, just to make sure Jimmy hadn’t marched up to the house. An elderly man with gray hair, leathery wrinkles and a faded Red Sox cap grinned at her.
Relief and happiness cascaded through her and she tugged the door open. “Eddie!”
He held out wiry, ancient arms and she accepted, hugging the man who’d been in charge of the boats at the Loon’s Nest for forty-three years.
The Loon’s Nest was the official name for the rustic vacation resort-slash-camp that had been in her dad’s family for over a hundred years. The ninety-two cabins lining the shores of Birch Tree Lake were rented out every summer. With no kitchens or any sort of utility room, all the families ate at a central dining hall three times a day, and there were plenty of programs to keep the guests entertained: picnics on the islands, hikes in the mountains, softball games and more. Kim’s childhood home was on the outskirts of the camp, giving the family some privacy from the guests.
Her dad had moved out when he remarried, but he’d kept this house while he and Helen set up their cozy love nest a few miles away. The old home had sat fully furnished and empty, sustained by Max’s hopes that one of his wayward daughters would someday return to run the place.
And here she was. Back in the house. But it wasn’t on Max’s terms, and she wasn’t here to stay.
“Kimmy!” Eddie kissed her cheek. “I can’t believe you’re back.”
“It’s so good to see you.” She gave him a big hug, the scent of his pipe tobacco cascading back to her, a memory long forgotten. It made her want to curl up in his lap and listen to stories about the old days.
As a kid, she’d spent thousands of hours following Eddie around, sucking up all his knowledge about the lake and boats and nature. She adored him. God, it was good to see him.
Okay, so there was one good thing about being back in town.
“Come in.” She held the door open. “I want to hear all about everything.” As Eddie stepped inside, she stuck her head out and peered around. The woods were quiet, the underbrush jiggling from chipmunks. Birds were chirping, and a squirrel was running around with a pinecone in his mouth. No Jimmy.
Still, she bolted the door behind them. Yeah, he was probably hanging around her apartment in L.A., but it didn’t hurt to be careful.
“How did you know I was back?” She steered Eddie toward the kitchen table he’d sat at many times, then pulled a pitcher of lemonade out of the fridge.
“I’ve been watching the house. Figured you might come back when your dad got in the accident.”
Oh, crap. “Does everyone know I’m back?”
He shook his head. “This house is too far away from the rest of the camp. No one comes out here. I’ve been driving by on the lake, keeping an eye on the place.”
Phew. She wasn’t up to facing people yet.
“Thanks for stopping by.” And she meant it. Eddie was dear to her, the only vestige of her past that wasn’t tainted.
“We’re real sorry about your dad.”
She managed a civil nod. “Thanks.”
“That boat was okay. It wasn’t my fault.”
Surprised at his response, she touched his hand. “Of course it wasn’t your fault, Eddie. It was an accident.” Wasn’t it? Hadn’t Cheryl told her it was an accident? Cheryl had been Kim’s conduit for all the town news since they’d left.
Not that she cared about the details of what had happened to her dad. But Cheryl cared, so she had to ask. “What exactly happened? No one has told me.”
Eddie frowned. “Some kids were camping on Big Moon Island about a week ago. They heard a boat motor roaring and then a crash just before midnight, so they went down there and checked it out. The moon was out, so they were able to see your dad unconscious under the water, the boat cracked up on the rocks. Smashed his head on a rock, apparently. Kids hauled him out and gave him CPR while their buddies got help from the marina. Kept him alive, but he never woke up.” Eddie blinked several times. “Best friend a man could have. Should never have happened.”
No kidding. Her dad was the guru of boating safety and could navigate the lake blindfolded, even at night. He’d never, ever run aground, let alone smashed a boat full speed into one of the islands. The darkness wouldn’t have made a difference to him. He didn’t need daylight to navigate the lake. No one who had lived on it for fifty years did. The moon and stars were more than enough.
“The gearshift was locked down, so people figure that it got stuck,” Eddie said.
So what? That wasn’t enough to cause her dad to crash into an island. “What about the propeller? Couldn’t he have turned?”
“Jammed, too.” Eddie shook his head. “Weirdest damn thing. Makes no sense. I take care of that boat, and it was fine. Sure, it’s twenty years old, but it’s in perfect shape. I didn’t screw up.”
“Of course you didn’t—”
He interrupted her, anger resonating in his voice. “The cops won’t listen to me, but you will. I know what happened.”
“What?” For an instant, Jimmy flashed through her mind. Would he target her entire family? Except that he’d still been in prison when the accident happened. Thank God for that. One less thing for her to be paranoid about.
“It was that new wife of his. She tried to kill him.”

Chapter Three
“Helen’s trying to murder him?” How ironic if his new beloved did kill Max, after he’d taken the life of his first wife. Poetic justice, although there would never be justice for the loss of Kim’s mother.
Then Kim sighed. This wasn’t the movies. Wives didn’t go around offing their husbands. Especially by cracking a boat up on some rocks. A very bad way to try to kill someone because the chances of death were minimal. Only a total idiot around the water would think that might work.
Eddie grabbed her arm, his gnarly fingers digging into her skin. “Helen despises the camp. She hates everything about his past life. She’s been trying to get him to sell the place for years and he won’t. Saving it for you girls, and she don’t care.”
A second wife who hated the lake? Her dad sure could pick his women. But Helen apparently spoke up. Joyce had kept quiet and suffered until a bottle of antidepressants became her only solution for escape from the man who had destroyed her. Damn him!
But Eddie wasn’t finished and wouldn’t leave Kim to suffer the memories of her past. “That’s why I came over here today. You gotta save the camp.”
Um, hello? No chance of that. “What are you talking about?”
“Helen’s destroying it. You gotta take over until your dad can come back.”
“No.” She pushed back from the table. “I can’t. I’m only out here to check on Max. I have to go back to L.A. in a few days. My job.” Not precisely true. Her leave of absence from her job as an editor at the Hollywood insider magazine would last a month, but she would be on the first plane back to L.A. as soon as it was safe.
She and Alan had figured it would take only a couple of weeks for Jimmy to come after her, so she could be back at work shortly. She had a gorgeous apartment, lots of friends, and invites to all the best parties so she could keep tabs on celebrity gossip. Everything that made life complete. Most of the time.
Unfortunately, in order to stay hidden from Jimmy, she’d had to go MIA from work entirely. No calls, no e-mails. She was going insane, wondering how much her replacement was screwing up. But she and Alan had decided it was too risky to have any contact with the office. Someone would need to mail her something, her address would be released and then she’d be in trouble. Total silence was the only way, and she was going through definite withdrawal. L.A. was her home now, not the lake.
Besides, there was no way she could reinvest herself in this place. Not with Sean here. Not with Helen lurking around. She had to leave, not dig herself deeper. “Eddie, I can’t help with the camp.”
Hope faded from Eddie’s eyes. “I understand.”
Could she feel guiltier about the despair on his face? “Eddie…”
He let go of her arm. “I gotta get back. July’s a busy time. Boats are going in and out and my assistant don’t know a propeller from a life jacket.”
She bit her lip as he trudged to the door, his shoulders stooped and his gait shuffling. He’d gotten so old since she’d last been here.
Who was she kidding? He’d gotten old in the five minutes since she’d turned him down. “Um…Eddie? How bad is it?”
“We’ll be bankrupt by the end of the summer.”
Oh, no. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
“But then the place will be sold.” And Cheryl would have nowhere to come home to when she was finally able to resume her life.
There was no way Kim could let her little sister down. It would take her a lifetime to repay Cheryl for the two times she’d already betrayed her.
The first time was when Kim had left ten years ago, abandoning her little sister to a suicidal mother and a clueless father.
Yeah, sure, Kim had left because her mom had talked her into it with her whispered confessions while she and Kim were huddled in the alcove of the church, Sean waiting at the altar. Heck, Joyce had helped her pack, so desperate she was that Kim not make the same mistakes she’d made. Giving up dreams, being stuck in a dead-end marriage with a man she didn’t love, being trapped in Ridgeport forever, miserable beyond anything she could endure—all because of teenage love that hadn’t been real. The stark anguish in her mother’s eyes had terrified Kim, and she’d realized that if she stayed in town, she’d never be able to resist the lure of Sean, his safe and familiar arms, things that would destroy her the way they’d devastated her mother.
Of course, Kim would never have left if she’d truly understood how desperate her mom was. Joyce had sworn that she’d follow Kim soon after with Cheryl and they would all be happy. But her mom had killed herself six months later, driven to it by her husband, the man who refused to let her go. Never would Kim forgive Max for destroying her family. Ever. Not after she’d received the letter.
Kim should have realized how bad the situation was when she’d left or, at the very least, come back for Cheryl after Joyce killed herself. Instead, Cheryl had tried to take her own life, and Kim still had nightmares about it. Convincing Cheryl to come to California for school, then paying for her expenses didn’t begin to make up for the fact that she’d almost lost her sister.
The second time Kim had let Cheryl down was with Jimmy. When Kim had known it was wrong for Cheryl to marry him, but hadn’t stopped her.
Mistakes that had nearly killed her sister—twice.
No way would she let Cheryl lose her legacy, as well. Sweet, innocent Cheryl, who had never realized how bad their dad was, keeping in touch with him even after all that had happened. “Give me five minutes to change and I’ll follow you up to the office.”
Eddie’s face lit up with hope, hope that wrenched Kim’s stomach. “I’m not a business expert, Eddie. I don’t know if I’ll be able to do anything.”
“You will.” He beamed at her and Kim felt her gut sink. How could she save the camp?
SEAN HAD HIS BOOTS up on the desk and his eyes closed when the door banged open, jerking him awake.
Chief Bill Vega knocked Sean’s feet off the desk and they thudded on the floor. “It’s almost eleven in the morning. What are you still doing here?”
“Waiting for an e-mail.” Sean stretched and glanced over at his empty in-box. He was waiting for the police report on Jimmy Ramsey’s attacks on Kim and Cheryl. And he had a call in to Jimmy’s parole officer to check on his whereabouts.
“How was last night?” Bill casually poured himself a mug of cold coffee. “Any interesting calls?”
Sean eyed the man who’d given him his start in law enforcement so many years ago. “No.”
“How’s she doing?”
“Who?”
“Kim Collins, that’s who.” Bill sat down on the edge of Sean’s desk. “I heard she’s looking fine.”
“Screw you.” He shot Bill a hostile glare, but he laughed and didn’t budge. The man obviously didn’t give a rip that his question made Sean recall how Kim looked last night. How she’d felt when he’d held her for that one moment. It had felt like coming home. It had been right, so absolutely perfect. And then he’d remembered that everything about her was wrong. Everything about them was wrong.
Unfortunately, recalling that fact hadn’t made her look any less appealing in her oversize T-shirt and sweats. Her casual outfit reminded him of the innocent teenager he’d loved. Last night, she’d looked so young and vulnerable he’d wanted to sweep her up in his arms and take her home to protect her. Except she wasn’t innocent, and she’d made it damned clear what she thought of being in his arms when she’d left ten years ago.
“Did she throw herself at you?” Bill grinned. “Let me guess. It was a trumped-up phone call to get you over there, wasn’t it? No sign of a prowler. Did she have you check her bedroom?”
“Don’t you have work to do?”
“Nope. That’s why I hired you, so I don’t have to work.”
It was weird to have someone teasing him. Sean didn’t joke anymore. Hadn’t for a long time. He wasn’t interested in striking up a friendship with Bill or anyone else. “Well, I have work to do.”
“You’re off duty and you’ve been here for a month. What could you possibly have to do?”
“Stuff.” Not that it should surprise him that Bill was giving him a hard time. After all, they’d been friends when he worked here before, even though Bill was about five years older than Sean. Back then, Sean had called him Billy and talked about things that mattered. Bill hadn’t respected his privacy back then and apparently, he still didn’t. Difference was, now Sean didn’t want that kind of relationship. Watching your best friend die could have that effect on a man.
Bill nodded. “Yeah, stuff like finding a place to live. You still living at the motel?”
“No.” Just yesterday, he’d finally rented a cottage. He’d stayed at the hotel his first four weeks to avoid obligations in case he decided he couldn’t deal with being back in town. But it hadn’t been so bad, and he’d spent some time with Kim’s dad and his new family. Yeah, it wasn’t the same as it had been, but his bond with Max was still there. Once Max had had the accident, that had sealed it for Sean. He’d stay around for as long as the man might need him—and maybe longer. For the first time in ten years, he felt as though he might find a place for himself again. With Max, he had hope for the first time in a long time.
And then Kim had shown up and changed everything. It made him want to pack up and leave, the way he’d done before. But he wasn’t going to. This was his town, and he’d come back to claim it. All he had to do was stay away from her while she was around. Especially since all he wanted to do was haul his sorry behind right back over to her house and strip away the past ten years to find out what had happened that night.
But he had too much pride for that.
“Glad to hear you’ve finally decided to stay awhile.” Bill grinned. “So? Did she get a boob job while she was living in L.A.? I hear that all the chicks out there have boob jobs.”
“For God’s sake, Billy, back off.” He picked up a pencil and drummed it on the desk.
Bill lifted an eyebrow. “So there are still some feelings there, huh?”
“No.” He tapped the pencil harder. Faster.
“Liar.” Bill dropped into a nearby chair and pulled it closer. Tossed his hat on a desk and ran his hands through his spiky red hair. “Listen, sorry about sending you over there last night. I didn’t realize it would mess you up. I mean, it’s been ten years and all. Kinda figured you might be over it by now.”
Sean snapped the pencil between his thumb and index finger. He let it drop to the ground, then gave Bill his most hostile glare. “I don’t give a rip about her anymore, so drop it.”
Bill stared back for a long moment. “What happened to you in the Army, man? You’ve turned into a major SOB.”
It wasn’t what had happened to him in the military. It had started in this town, at the merciless hands of Kim Collins when she’d ripped away the innocence of a young kid. “Kim might have a stalker.”
“You?”
“Shut up.”
Bill grinned. “Just checking. What’s up?”
“Cheryl’s ex-husband, Jimmy Ramsey. Wife beater that Kim put in jail. He’s out on parole and he swore he’d come after her.” Just saying it made his blood pressure escalate again.
“What do you have so far?” Bill settled into his cop persona, so much easier for Sean to take. He’d counted on their friendship to get him the job, and now he was regretting it. Friends demanded more than he was willing to give.
“I have a call in to his PO to see if he’s checked in.” The message from Kim on his phone that morning had aggravated him. She’d been so flippant and dismissive that Jimmy was after her, telling Sean to drop the case.
Not that he had any intention of listening to her. He was a cop, and his job was to protect and serve, even if the civilian in question happened to be the woman who had left him standing at the altar with two gold rings in his tux pocket. Yeah, sure he hadn’t been able to turn up any evidence of a prowler outside her home, but when he’d stood there in the dark, he’d been certain something had been disturbed. The night sounds of the forest had been too quiet. Until he was convinced no one was after her, he wasn’t going to back off.
“What about Cheryl? You talk to her?”
“She’s in hiding.”
Billy gave a low whistle. “It’s serious stuff then, huh?”
“Kim helped her disappear and took the heat after Cheryl left.” Impressive as hell that Kim had stuck around and faced Jimmy when she knew what he was capable of.
Billy grinned. “That’s our Kimmy. She always protected that little sister of hers.”
Sean tossed the thin file he’d created at Billy. “You take the case.”
Billy handed the folder back. “It’s yours.”
“I don’t want it.” He set the papers on the desk. “Find someone else.”
“We’re understaffed, even with you here. With all these summer folk causing trouble, no one’s got time to be following up on some psycho from California.”
Sean folded his arms. “I’ll switch duties with someone. I don’t want it.” Just because he couldn’t drop the case didn’t mean he was the one who had to be her shadow. Already tried that ten years ago and it wasn’t his gig. Not anymore.
“I got a bunch of rookies on staff here. All our experienced guys went off to Portland when they got the funding for more positions. Not one of these guys knows how to do an investigation. All they can do is write up traffic tickets and OUIs. That’s why I wanted you back. I need some hardened badass for these boys to follow.”
“This case is a good opportunity for someone to learn.” He didn’t want to get involved with Kim. But putting Kim’s life in the hands of a rookie? “You can provide oversight. Train the kid.” His computer beeped that he had new mail and Sean nodded at it, even as he stood up and walked away from his desk. “That’s the info from L.A. It’s yours.”
Bill swung to his feet and lumbered his large frame across the small office that looked as if it hadn’t had a face-lift in thirty years. Stained ceiling tiles, warped wood paneling on the walls, battered desks shoved against one another to make room in a too-small space.
Luxury compared to Sean’s life in the Middle East, where he’d been for the past few years.
While Bill opened the e-mail, Sean picked up his car keys. Time to get away. He’d go visit Max. Remind himself why he wanted to stay in town. “I’m taking off.”
Bill waved absently as he studied the screen. “Yeah, go shower. You need it.” He spun the monitor toward Sean, a color image filling the screen. “Before you go, take a look at this.”
He didn’t want to know. Didn’t want to see it.
But he looked. It was a photo of Kim in a hospital bed, wearing a gown that had been pulled to the side. Her eyes were closed and she looked tiny and wan. She was covered in bruises, and there were gashes across her stomach and ribs.
Then he looked closer and his stomach heaved. Her entire thigh had been torn open, practically from hip to knee.
He swore. Death was far too good for Jimmy Ramsey.
“Look at the one of her sister.”
Bill opened another image that showed Cheryl in a similar position with her arm at an unnatural angle and one side of her face so puffy she was almost unrecognizable.
Sean cursed again and clicked on the picture of Kim again. She’d endured all that to protect her sister. Half the guys in his Special Forces unit would have spilled their guts for less.
“You still want to hand this off to one of the rookies?”
Sean leaned back and closed his eyes, trying to quiet his stomach. He, of the cast-iron gut, who’d seen more blood and body parts than he could count, getting nauseous because of a couple of photos? He was going soft. “The guy got six months.”
Bill whistled. “Six months? That’s it?”
“He’s a cop.”
“A cop. How many years of service?”
“Fifteen before he was suspended.” The situation was ugly. “He’s been investigated three times for excessive violence against female suspects but never disciplined. He has connections. Influence.”
“Damn.”
Yeah, no kidding. A cop with fifteen years’ experience knew what he was doing. Ramsey would take down a rookie cop in a heartbeat. And rookies were all Bill had working for him.
Hell.
Sean picked up his phone and called the parole officer again. It was almost eight in the morning Pacific time, so he should be in by now.
A raspy voice answered on the first ring. “Vin here.”
“Officer Sean Templeton here calling from the Ridgeport Police Department in Maine.”
“Yeah, I just got done listening to your message. Ramsey hasn’t checked in.”
“Will you call me when he does?” If he does.
“Yeah. Later.” Vin hung up.
Chatty guy.
“So?”
Sean hung up the phone. “He hasn’t checked in.” So Jimmy could be in Maine.
“I don’t want him in my town.” Bill actually looked a little stressed.
“You and me both.” Sean dug his fingers into his forehead. Miserable friggin’ headache. He had to think. Needed to figure this out. “You have to take this case. A rookie is no match for Ramsey.”
“Can’t do it. I’m already overloaded. It’s you or a rookie.”
Sean narrowed his eyes at the man he’d once called his friend. “Do it for me.”
“Do it for yourself.”
He cursed. “The woman is my ex-fiancée. Don’t you have rules against taking a case that you’re personally involved in?”
“Not in this department. We’re too small.” Billy lifted an eyebrow. “Besides, you said you don’t care about her.”
“I don’t.”
Billy grinned. “Seems to me, the only reason I’d have for taking you off this case is if you were so screwed up by her that you were incapable of performing your duties. She got you that bad, Templeton?”
“Of course not. I can do my job.”
Billy tossed him the folder. “Then I guess it’s yours.”
Sean caught the file. He was trapped, and they both knew it.
“Welcome back, Sean. Enjoy your first case.”
“You’re too damned cheery.”
All he got was a bigger grin. “And you’re too damned ornery. Go take a shower and we’ll see you back here tonight. You’re in charge of the night shift. I’m gonna stick to days now that you’re around.”
“I’m in charge? No way, Billy.” The deal had been that he’d be a patrol officer with a beat, about as far from his Special Forces experience as possible. He didn’t want responsibility for anyone anymore. All he wanted was a paycheck.
“It’s Chief Vega to you. Remember that or I’ll have to write you up for insubordination. The nights are yours. Enjoy.”
Sean groaned. He had to get out of here. He couldn’t deal with someone trying to be friends with him.
He might be off duty, but he wasn’t going to be off the clock until he finished this deal with Jimmy Ramsey and got Kim out of his life.
Right now, he was going to find Kim.
He needed some answers.
EDDIE WAVED KIM off as he turned toward the docks, leaving Kim on her own to head into the office. As she clomped up the wooden steps, she could almost hear her dad on the phone, or her mom laughing at the reception desk.
Almost, but not quite. Joyce wasn’t there, Max was in a coma and Kim had a psychopath stalking her.
Not exactly the utopia of her youth. That utopia was a mirage she’d never fall for again. Behind those moments of laughter, Joyce had been suffering and no one had realized it. Even now, Kim was the only one who really knew why her mom had killed herself, thanks to the letter Joyce had mailed right before she ended her life.
A letter that would haunt Kim forever.
She nodded at one of the maintenance guys on his way out of the office, the logo on his shirt identifying him. A giggle caught her attention and she turned in time to see one of the female employees latch on to his beefy arm and guide him in the direction of the laundry facilities.
Yeah, when Kim had been young, she’d lusted after the maintenance guys, too. Today, she only noticed their muscles and assessed how hard they’d be able to hit their wives.
Was she messed up or what?
She stepped inside the screened porch foyer and saw two strangers working the front desk. That was where her mom had spent her days, enjoying the contact with the guests and the outside world they represented.
Now it was a guy in his late twenties wearing a tight, black T-shirt that showed off his well-developed upper body, and a slightly older woman with blond hair pulled into two pigtails. They were arguing about something, and the woman seemed to be winning.
Kim was all in favor of avoiding both of them, but her dad’s office was behind the reception desk. She cleared her throat, trying not to feel like a stranger in the place that had been her home. “Hello.”
They ignored her and kept bickering.
“Hey!” What was up with this? For all they knew, she was a guest. Having the staff arguing in front of her was hardly what her parents would have allowed. It was as if anarchy had taken over now that Max wasn’t around.
The woman spun toward her, plastering a cheery smile on her face in an amazing metamorphosis. “Good morning and welcome to the Loon’s Nest. May I help you?”
“I’m…Max Collins’s daughter, Kim.”
The woman’s eyes snapped wide open and she clapped a hand to her mouth. “Oh!” Then she dropped her hand. “I’m so sorry about your dad. Such a nice man.”
“Yeah, I know.” And no, I haven’t visited him yet, so don’t ask. Gee, think she was getting a little testy? She tried to smile and put on a friendly voice. “And you are?”
“Didi Smith. I work here year-round, helping out your dad in the winter.” Didi was supermodel-skinny, but her eyes were sharp and intelligent. Maybe a fraction too much makeup for working the front desk at the Loon’s Nest, but she knew how to maximize it to enhance her looks. Didi was a woman who wasn’t afraid to admit her femininity. She’d fit in perfectly in L.A. Kim shook her hand, then nodded at the man, who stuck out his hand, as well.
“Will Ambrose. This is my first summer. Welcome.” He gave her a nice smile that she could see would have a good effect on guests. It made her want to smile back, so she did. Felt weird to grin, but good, too. She should do it more often.
“I’m going to be in my dad’s office for a bit, okay?”
“Sure.” Didi fished a set of keys out of her back pocket. “I’ll unlock it for you.”
“He locks his office during the day now?” Since when did that happen? It wasn’t as if he kept any money in there, and with Didi and Will running around out front, no one would be able to wander in unnoticed. Sure, she’d locked the door at the house, but that was because she had a homicidal maniac after her. Not too likely Max had landed one, as well.
Didi shrugged. “He started locking it in early June, maybe a month and a half ago.”
“Did someone break in or something? Why the concern with security?”
“I don’t know.” Didi looked at Will, who shrugged.
“Never mind.” The last thing she needed was to start thinking too much about her dad. “I’ll be inside if you need me.” She stepped inside and shut out Didi and Will, leaning back against the door while she looked at her dad’s office for the first time in a decade. The room looked as if it belonged to a stranger.
Gone were all the family photos, except for a few of Cheryl and herself. Absolutely no sign of her mom, right down to the removal of the light fixtures Joyce had installed. The furniture was different, the curtains had changed and there was carpet on the beautiful old pine floor. It was as if someone had tried to transform it from a rustic camp office into something more suitable for suburban Boston.
Was this the handiwork of her dad’s new concubine, or Max’s attempt to erase the memory of his wife?
Not that it mattered. Kim was here to preserve a future for her sister, not dwell on the past. So she lifted her chin, walked to the desk and sat. She flicked on the computer and waited for it to boot up. Maybe she hadn’t been to the hospital yet, but she could at least save this camp. No worries of running into her dad or his wife-from-hell.
This was good. Since she couldn’t occupy herself with her own work, she could use the camp as a distraction from remembering that the last time she’d been in this town, her mother had been alive. A heaviness settled around her and Kim clamped down on the memories. See why she hadn’t wanted to come back? Thinking about the past made it harder to deal with the present. Who needed that? Not her.
She shut off her emotions and opened that year’s financial statements, which made absolutely no sense to her whatsoever.
She was a magazine editor, not a numbers person.
But Alan was. Maybe he could help. She picked up her cell phone and dialed his mobile. He answered on the second ring. “How’s Maine?”
“It sucks. Any sign of Jimmy?”
“None. I’ve staked out your place and your work, and he hasn’t turned up. No hang-up calls on your machine or at work. He’ll show, though. I know he will.”
Or maybe he’s already in Maine.
No, dammit. She wasn’t going to let him get to her. She was going to focus on Alan and how good it was to hear his voice. Alan. Safe and secure, her only real friend in L.A. It was amazing how close they’d gotten in the year and a half they’d known each other. Nothing like a couple of attempted murders to accelerate the bonding.
“How’s the camp?” Alan asked.
“Just about in bankruptcy. Hey, can you tell me how to read financial statements?”
“Not in the five minutes I have until my next meeting. Why?”
“Apparently, the camp is in bad shape, so I promised an old friend I’d check it out.”
“Seriously? You’re actually looking at camp financial statements? I was joking when I asked you how it was. You said you weren’t even going to set foot in the camp.”
“Yeah, well, things changed. Can you help me? Where do I start looking to find out what’s going on?”
He made a noise of exasperation. “I can’t tell you how to audit a company in thirty seconds.”
“Well, teach me something. I have work to do.” She opened another file. Payroll. Will and Didi were on there. And Eddie. She didn’t recognize any other names.
“I have extra vacation time. Why don’t I fly out there and help you?” He hesitated. “I’m not sure I like you being out there alone when we don’t know where Jimmy is.”
She almost smiled. It felt good to have someone care about her. It was a shame that there was zero romantic interest between the two of them. Though if there had been any, they would have broken up by now. Between Jimmy and Sean, she wasn’t exactly a poster child for healthy romantic relationships. Jimmy had made worse that which was already broken. “You can’t come, Alan. You have to stay out there to watch for Jimmy. Remember the plan?”
“Yes, but the plan also entailed you hiding out in a secure hotel, not in a defenseless cabin in the middle of the woods.”
Excellent point.
A loud rap sounded on the office door, startling her. It swung open before she could extend an invitation and she lurched back, grabbing a paperweight and aiming it at the intruder. Sean marched inside and her hand dropped in relief.
He was wearing jeans, boots and an old gray T-shirt that showed off the hard, lean body of a military warrior.
When she’d left ten years ago, he’d been a skinny eighteen-year-old who hadn’t grown into his long limbs.
Not anymore.
He was all man, and he looked furious.
And for some stupid reason, she was glad to see him. Probably the fact that she had a stalker after her and Sean had a gun on his hip and looked ready to kill.
God help her if it was any other reason.

Chapter Four
“I gotta go. Bye.” Tension rushed over him as Kim quickly hung up the phone.
Was she hiding something?
“Who was that?” Sean shut the door and leaned against it, taking a quick scan of the office. No threats, nothing out of place. Safe, for the moment.
“My friend. Alan Haywood. He’s watching my apartment in L.A. to see if Jimmy shows up.” Her cell phone rang again and she glanced down at it. “It’s Alan.”
He held out his hand. “Give it to me.” Alan, huh? He didn’t like the sound of a friend named Alan. Sounded fishy to him.
She glared at him. “No.” She answered it. “What?”
She waited for a moment, then smiled. “No, I’m fine. The cops just arrived and I sort of panicked. But nothing has happened.” She covered the mouthpiece and directed her next question to Sean. “Has anything happened? Did you find him?”
He shook his head and tried not to think about how the man on the other end of the phone had made her smile. Sean used to make her smile. Now all he did was make her panic. What had changed the night she’d decided to leave him? Not that he’d ever ask. She wasn’t his problem anymore. Time had given him the distance he needed not to ask. Not to care. Not to obsess.
“I promise I’ll call you every hour,” she said into the phone. “Love you.” She hung up and set the phone down. “Why are you here?”
“‘Love you’?”
“He’s a friend, Sean.” She lifted an eyebrow. “Why do you care?”
“Just wanted to make sure it wasn’t someone working for Jimmy trying to find out where you are.”
Tension flickered in her eyes, but she quickly shoved it aside. “Didn’t you get my message this morning? Jimmy isn’t after me. I was being irrational and letting my imagination get to me. I’m fine.”
Why did she have to be so stubborn? Anger roiled through him and he threw down the photos of her in the hospital. His ability to dismiss his concern about the case vanished the moment he’d seen those photos. Yeah, he’d tried to pawn the case off on Billy, but now that it was his, he was going to be haunted by those images until Jimmy Ramsey was back in jail—or dead. As a cop, he couldn’t walk away. As Kim’s ex-lover…well, that was something he had to get over. That wasn’t why he was here. “He’s no threat? I should drop the case? You’ll be fine?”
“Where did you get those?” Her hand went to her thigh, where he knew a nasty scar had to be hidden.
He leaned against the desk, his hands flat on the surface. “Jimmy hasn’t checked in for parole.”
She caught her breath, her fingers curling around the arm of the chair. “It was a bear.”
“Why are you shutting me out? I’m here to help you.” Hard to imagine there was a time when he’d known every secret she had. She wouldn’t even let him into her worst nightmare now.
Kim seemed to steady herself and threw him a challenging stare. “Why are you here? I thought you were going to assign someone else to the case.”
He gritted his teeth. “It has to be me.”
“Why? Do you think maybe you’re too personally involved—”
He held up his hand. “It’s been ten years, Kim.”
“Believe me, I know how long it’s been.”
So she’d been counting the years as well? “What happened back then doesn’t matter anymore.”
Her eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly. “It doesn’t?”
“No.” It couldn’t. He’d moved on, and he wasn’t interested in revisiting their past. He simply wasn’t. Instead, he nodded at the pictures. “That’s what matters now.”
She followed his gaze to the photos, and said nothing. He couldn’t tell what she was thinking anymore. Oh, sure, he could sense her anxiety and fear, but nothing else. He sure couldn’t see inside her mind. Didn’t know why she’d left, why she hadn’t visited her dad, why… The list was too long.
“Kim.”
She looked at him. “What?”
“Let’s make a deal. I’m here as a cop. That’s my job, and let’s not take it any further than that. The past is gone.”
After a long moment, she nodded. “Fine. No past. It’s better that way.”
“Yeah.” Then why did he so desperately want to find out what had happened? Why had she left? Dammit! Why couldn’t he stop thinking about it? Was he so weak that one moment with her in his arms caused ten years of immunity to collapse?
“I’m getting an alarm installed today. I’m going to alert the staff to keep an eye out for him.” She met his gaze. “He won’t get me.”
“It’s my job to keep you safe. I’m not going away.”
She groaned. “Why does it have to be you?”
“Because it does.” He felt years of rage bubble up, bitterness he’d kept buried for so long. He couldn’t contain it. “I might not have been good enough to marry, but trust me, I’m good enough to keep you alive.”
Her glittering eyes snapped to his face. He wished he could see pain and regret in them, but he saw nothing beyond the defensiveness. “I thought the past was off-limits.”
“I won’t let you use it to endanger yourself. Get over it and let me help.”
“Sean—”
The door swung open and Sean was on his feet with his hand on his gun before Didi had even stepped inside. “You have a visitor,” she said. She lifted her eyebrow at Sean in the same not-so-subtle flirtation she’d directed toward him when he’d first arrived.
As if he had time for that crap. “Who is it?”
Didi narrowed her eyes in the typical look of a woman who wasn’t used to men being immune to her charm. “Tom Payton from the marina.”
“I’ll come out and meet him,” he said.
“Me, too.” Kim jumped up, ignoring his glare to stay in the office. “I have to run this place, Sean. I’m not going to let Jimmy rule my life.”
“You’re taking over the Loon’s Nest?” Didi asked Kim as she trailed along after them. “Really?”
“Really.” Kim walked into the reception area one step ahead of Sean, but he made sure she wasn’t between his gun and their guest, who appeared to be a skinny kid wearing cutoffs and sneakers. He looked like he was eighteen, but something about his eyes said he was more likely to be in his mid-twenties. He was wearing a Yankees cap and his nose was sunburned. He blushed when Didi shot him a come-hither look. Guess the kid hadn’t figured out that Didi probably gave that smile to anyone with a Y chromosome.
“I’m Kim Collins.”
The kid nodded. “Tom Payton. Eddie sent me up here to get you. He wants to show you something on Max’s boat.” He looked nervously at Sean. “You’re the cop?”
“Yeah.”
“He saw your cruiser. Wants you to come, too.”
Sean glanced at Kim as they followed Tom out the door. Her face was shuttered and she wouldn’t look at him. Was she pissed at Sean or upset because they had to deal with her dad? What had happened to make her hate Max so much?
No, that wasn’t Sean’s problem. It was so frustrating to find himself falling into the old patterns: caring about her, wanting to know what she was feeling, wishing he could take away her anguish. He’d thought he hated her too much to lapse into past behaviors. Habit. That’s all his feelings were. A bad habit it was time to break so he could focus on the more important questions. For one, what was going on with Max’s boat?
Eddie met them at the door to the boathouse, where he had Max’s boat in dry dock. He wasted no time on pleasantries. “You guys gotta see this.” He walked them over to the boat and pointed to the steering column. “Right there.”
Sean could see some scratches on the casing. “What am I looking for?”
Eddie pulled out a screwdriver and pointed to a small piece of metal poking out. “That little piece wedged in there?” He tugged on the steering wheel and it didn’t turn. “Jammed the steering column so it can’t turn.”
Sean squatted and pulled a flashlight off his belt. “You’re sure?”
“Yeah.” Eddie leaned on the rim of the boat. “Told you his wife was trying to kill him.”
Sean had been treated to Eddie’s murder theories during their late nights at the hospital and he still didn’t buy them. In Sean’s opinion, Eddie felt guilty and was trying to absolve himself. Sean was certain Helen adored Max, even if she didn’t want to operate the Loon’s Nest for the rest of her life. “Assuming for a minute it wasn’t Helen, how else could this have happened?”
Kim was standing back, her arms folded across her chest. She was acting as though she didn’t care, but he couldn’t believe it. He simply couldn’t. He’d seen her love for her family too many times. It had been real and enduring. How had it come to this?
Eddie frowned. “I didn’t do it.”
“I know, Eddie. But could it have happened by mistake?”
He hesitated. “Well, Tom was working on the boat earlier in the day. He might have made an error, I guess.”
Sean could hear Tom outside talking to one of the resort guests about renting a boat to go waterskiing.
He sat back on his heels. “If the piece got wedged in there before Max took the boat out, how could he have steered from the start? Or it is possible that it shifted?”
“It definitely shifted as he drove. Helen probably wedged it in there and knew the steering would freeze up at some point.”
“But that could have been when he was going slow and was in no danger. It’s not a very good way to kill someone.”
Eddie frowned. “She’s not real bright when it comes to lake things. Lucky for us.”
Sean ground his teeth, trying to remain neutral. “Why are you so against Helen?”
Eddie’s eyes narrowed. “How can you be on her side? She’s the outsider.”
“I’m not on anyone’s side, Eddie. I’m just trying to get answers.”
Eddie turned away and looked for Kim, who was standing even farther away, her arms hugged around her body. “You believe me, don’t you, Kim? It was Helen trying to kill him.”
She glanced at Sean and he saw such stark angst on her face he felt it slap him. He had to close his eyes for a moment to force himself not to reach out to her. Dammit! Break the habit, Sean! But at least he’d been right to doubt her claim that she didn’t care about her dad at all.
“I don’t know what to believe.” Her voice was so pained that Eddie immediately softened.
“I’m sorry, Kimmy. I know it’s hard for you to talk about it.” He refocused on Sean. “But this is your job. You find a way to pin it on Helen before she destroys this place. I love this family and I’m not going to see it destroyed by some scheming outsider like Helen.”
“I’ll look into it. Keep the boat off-limits and I’ll send someone to check it out.” Sean inspected the rafters of the boathouse. There was a ledge around the ceiling where life jackets and some small boats were stored. Perfect hiding spot for someone who wanted to tamper with the boat and needed a place to wait until the opportunity arose.
This whole place was rife with opportunity for a stalker. It was a bunch of cabins in the woods. If Kim tried to run this place, she’d be walking on secluded trails all day long. He looked at her, and she was checking out the rafters as well. When she met his gaze, he knew she’d been thinking the same thing.
Good. Maybe she’d listen to him now.
KIM WAS TRUDGING back toward the office when Sean caught her arm. He nodded toward Tom. “Let’s chat with him.”
“About my dad’s accident?” She swallowed hard.
“Yeah.” He didn’t let go, forcing her to accompany him. He wouldn’t let her run away from her own father’s fate. Not when she’d given him that glimpse of her hidden angst. He wasn’t going to make it easy for her to reject Max. Because he loved Max. Not because he gave a rip about Kim’s happiness anymore. Or at least he was trying not to. It was harder than he wanted it to be. “Tom. Got a sec?”
Tom turned away from the guest who was paddling away in a canoe. “Yeah. What’s up?”
“You worked on Max’s boat before he took it out?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you inspect the steering column?”
“I did the normal maintenance. Everything was fine.” But he wasn’t making eye contact, and he was shifting restlessly on his feet.
“But did you check the steering column?”
Tom’s hands settled on his hips. “I didn’t look for things wedged in it.” There was a defiant edge to his voice. A challenge.
Interesting. “Eddie showed you the steering column?”
“Uh-huh.”
Yeah, Eddie would make a good investigator. “Any thoughts on how it got there?”
Tom shrugged. “It wasn’t me. I didn’t screw up.”
Sean lifted his eyebrow. “No one says you did. I’m just trying to gather information.”
“Well, it wasn’t me.” Tom picked at the edge of his T-shirt. “Is that it? I gotta get back to work.”
Sean let him go.
Kim stared across the lake, her arms folded across her chest. “You think my dad’s crash wasn’t an accident?” Her voice was clipped and reserved.
He didn’t buy her aloofness. “Do you?”
She pressed her lips together. Finally, she shrugged.
“Do you even care?” He had to ask. Had to know if she could even acknowledge that she felt something inside that frigid wall she’d erected around herself. Had to understand how the woman he’d loved had become the woman she was today.
After a long moment, she nodded once. Then she walked away.
SIX HOURS LATER, Kim waved the hunky maintenance guy away after she locked the door behind him and set the new alarm. Carl, the head of maintenance she’d seen flirting with one of the girls that morning, had driven her home and done a walk-through of her house before leaving.
She hadn’t asked for his escort, but Sean had had a little chat with Carl before taking off for the day. After she’d refused Sean’s bodyguard offer, he’d compromised by giving her someone else’s assistance.
She leaned against the locked door and sighed. She couldn’t live like this, but she couldn’t deny that a small part of her felt better after Carl had inspected the place. Was Jimmy here? Was he in California? Was she losing her mind? He was making her so crazy she didn’t know what to think.
Her cell phone rang. She flipped the phone open. “You don’t need to call me every five minutes.”
“Still no sign of him out here,” Alan said. “I’m getting worried. He should have tried to find you by now.”
She swallowed. “You know he’s going to show up out there. He has to.”
“Have you seen any sign of him yet?”
“No.” She hadn’t told Alan about the noise on the roof last night. Why would she? Growing up, she’d heard so many noises and they had never been a homicidal maniac. Until she had proof it was anything other than a bear, she wasn’t going to let her paranoia rule her. “I got an alarm and the cops are on it.”
“I think I should come out there. Stay with you.”
She frowned and forced herself to walk into the kitchen to find something for dinner. “I’m fine. Really. We have to stick to the plan.” Stay organized. Stay in control. It was the only way to win. “His goal is to get us to react emotionally and make a mistake. We can’t let him win.”
Alan was quiet for a moment. “I don’t like it.”
“Join the club.” She paused. “Can you do me a favor?”
“Sure.”
“Can you double-check the date Jimmy got out of prison? Find out for sure if he was still there a month ago?”
“Why?”
“There’s been some stuff going on around here. Weird stuff. I just want to make sure that Jimmy didn’t have anything to do with it.”
“What’s going on, Kim?” His words were rushed, almost panicky. “Talk to me.”
“Just find out, okay?” She didn’t want to talk about the possibility that Jimmy had tried to kill her dad. Talking about it gave the swirling innuendos validity, and she didn’t want to do that. Not unless there was a reason. “I’m seeing ghosts where there are none and I need to remind myself of the facts, okay?”
“That’s all it is?”
“Yes.” Heaven help her, she hoped that was all it was.
He grunted. “I’ll check. Call me in an hour, okay? To check in.”
She couldn’t keep the smile off her face. “Thanks for caring.”
“See you later, Kim. Be careful.”
She disconnected and shoved her phone in her pocket. No way was she leaving it in another room. Such a fine line between being paranoid and being careful. She’d been clinging to the right side of the line for the past eighteen months, but right now she was dangerously close to catapulting down the other side of it into an emotional hell that would destroy her the way it had killed her mother.
SEAN PULLED HIS cruiser into Kim’s driveway later that evening. It was past midnight and the lights in the cabin were still on. Nerves getting to the woman who claimed to be so tough?
He parked outside her front door and climbed out, standing silently to listen to the woods. To feel the darkness.
Owls were hooting softly. Loons were calling. The sounds of night were active and right.
Then why was his skin prickling?
He turned slowly and stared into the woodsy hill above the driveway. It was too dark to see, but he didn’t need his eyes. He could sense something. Someone.
Soundlessly, he unclipped his gun and slid it free, aiming it into the woods.
“Sean? Is that you?”
A window scraped open and he glanced up at Kim. “Quiet.”
Her eyes widened and her mouth snapped shut.
He turned back to the woods, but whatever had been there was gone. He could sense nothing. Had it been his imagination? On edge because the woman he once loved might be in danger? Or an accurate cop instinct?
He wished he knew.
He holstered his gun and faced the window. “Any problems tonight?”
“Was someone out there?”
“I don’t know.”
Her eyes were huge and he wanted to grab her and hold her and chase those nightmares away. The past didn’t matter, huh? What an idiot he’d been to think he could order it away. “I’ll check out the rest of the property, then head on out.”
She stared at him. “Do you want to come in?”
Hell, yes, he wanted to come in. She was leaning out of her old bedroom window. They’d stolen many a moment in that spot while her parents were out on the lake. Too many memories. “Um, no, I need to keep moving.”
Her fingers gripped the window frame. “I could make some coffee, so you don’t fall asleep.”
“You want me to come in?”
Silence fell and he regretted his question. Kim was too proud to acknowledge that she was scared. He shouldn’t have forced her to admit that she wanted his company because she never would. Not anymore.
Despite everything, he wanted to be inside that house with her. It didn’t matter what the circumstances were or that they were trying to pretend they were strangers. He simply wanted to be with her. To keep her safe, whether she could admit she needed help or not. “I’d like some coffee.”
She hesitated, then nodded. “I’ll be right down.”
The slam of the window jarred through the night and Sean headed to the front step to meet her. Despite all his efforts to fight his attraction to her, to resist the lure of returning to her side, he was getting sucked in.
He stood on the doorstep and listened to her feet thudding on the stairs as she ran down to greet him. A sense of the inevitable settled heavily on his shoulders. He didn’t want to be here, yet he couldn’t stop it.
And it had nothing to do with the job.
They had ended badly before, and he’d seen enough to know it wouldn’t be any different this time. For ten years, he’d buried the pain. But seeing her again was bringing it all back to the surface again, and it sucked.
Dammit. He was tired of the unanswered questions. Maybe it was time for the discussion they’d never had. Maybe that would finally free him from caring, because Lord knew, nothing else had worked.

Chapter Five
Kim punched the alarm code to disable it, then paused with her hand on the doorknob. She took a desperately needed moment to remind herself that Sean in her house meant nothing. Cop and civilian. No past. Just like last night, when he’d been there as a police officer.
He didn’t want to talk about what had happened before. So what if she wasn’t over it? It didn’t matter that she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him since she’d seen him. She felt so ashamed she’d walked out on him that way, without a word. Without an explanation. Now that he was back in her life, she couldn’t stop thinking about how he must have felt waiting for her.
Waiting. Wondering. She’d betrayed him.
It had been ten years ago. A lifetime had passed. Their relationship was over, and she had to remember that. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and opened the door. Sean was standing on the step, looking frustrated and determined, and her heart jumped.
Did he look good in his uniform or what? He was so different from the boy she’d loved, but he was the same, too…maybe. “Come on in.”
He stepped inside and stopped just over the threshold, acting like a guest. So different from the other night when he’d taken possession of her house as if he belonged there. The way he used to act when they were teenagers. Now? They were like strangers. Regret flooded through her and she tried to shut it off, even as a longing for the intimacy they used to share made her want to touch his shoulder. Lean against him. Feel his warmth strengthen her.
“You’re sure the coffee is no trouble?” he asked. His voice was polite and even, and he was scanning the interior of the house. But there was an undercurrent to his tone that made her skin prickle. What wasn’t he telling her?
“No problem at all.” Coffee. Right. She’d invited him in for a caffeine boost. “You can wait in the family room. I’ll start the pot.”
“I’ll go with you.” He fell in behind her as she headed toward the kitchen.
Their feet echoed on the pine floors, his steps heavy and slightly uneven, hers soft in her sneakers. She glanced over her shoulder. “Do you have a leg injury or something?”
His gaze flicked to her face. “Why?”
“Your walk isn’t the same as it used to be. It sounds different.”
He lifted one eyebrow. “You remember what my walk sounded like?”
She felt her cheeks heat up and she turned away. “I guess so.” How embarrassing. He probably hadn’t thought about her once since she’d left, and here she was, admitting she could recall how he used to walk. So she’d spent the last decade thinking about him. So every man she’d dated had fallen short in comparison. So what?
She yanked open the fridge where she’d stashed her coffee beans and he leaned against the counter next to her, his arms folded loosely across his chest. “What else do you remember?” His voice was soft, with that same roughness it’d had when he used to whisper in her ear when they made love. The shift wasn’t intentional; it was simply how he spoke when he was battling his emotions.
What was he thinking about that was making his voice gruff? She swallowed hard and shut the fridge. “Um…I think you broke your finger.”
He glanced down at his crooked digit and flexed it. “Yeah, I did.”
The churning of the coffee grinder startled them both and they looked at each other, then laughed at the same time. “Guess I’m a little on edge,” she said.
His smile faded into something soft. “Yeah, me, too.”
“Really?” The old Sean had always told her his feelings, but she hadn’t thought this new, aloof Sean would.
He shrugged, his gaze fixed on her as she shoveled grounds into the machine. “I thought someone was out in the woods when I got here.”
Her hand slipped and she dumped the grounds on the counter. “You did?”
He reached out and brushed his fingers over the back of her hand, his touch light and shockingly heavy at the same time. A gesture he’d made a thousand times before. Their unspoken language of support. Her gut lurched and she didn’t know whether to pull away. She’d needed that touch so much, but could they really go back there?
“But I wasn’t sure if anyone was out there or not,” he said. “I’m not used to questioning myself.” He looked down at his hand, still resting against hers, and then moved away.
For a moment, there was a tense silence, then he cleared his throat. “Coffee smells good.” He busied himself sweeping up the spilled grounds off the counter and into his hand.
She nodded. Moment over.
Sean went to the sink and dumped the grounds, then washed his hands. The only sound in the room was the running water, then the drip of the faucet after he shut it off. “I could stop by tomorrow and fix that if you want. Wastes water.”
She met his gaze. “What’s going on, Sean?”
He tossed the paper towel under the sink, knowing where the trash can was without even looking. “I don’t know where Jimmy is and it worries me. He still hasn’t turned up in California. From what I can figure, he’s not the kind of guy to lie low now that he’s free.”
She shook her head. “No, about us.”
He froze, then spoke carefully, as if choosing his words precisely. “What about us?”
“I…um…” She licked her lips, not sure what to say. After ten years of apologizing in her mind, it didn’t make it any easier to do in person. “I’m sorry.”
“About what?”
“Leaving you.” She was so sorry. She’d loved him, and she’d hurt him. People didn’t hurt those they loved.
“What about the rest of it?”
She frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“Leaving your family. Abandoning them. Hating them. What about that?”
Defensiveness made her voice sharp. “You don’t understand.”
He leaned against the counter again and folded his arms over his chest. “Then tell me. Tell me why you let your father sit alone in his hospital room every day without visiting him. Tell me why you didn’t come home for your mom’s funeral. Tell me why, Kim. Explain it to me so I can stop hating you.”
Pain shot through her. “You hate me?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, God.” She sat down at the table and blinked hard. Her throat was tight. “You used to love me and now you hate me?” It hurt. So much.

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